16 Navigating the Messy Middle: How Women Leaders Can Keep Going When Progress Feels Far Away

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The beginning of any big goal feels exciting—full of energy, vision, and optimism. The finish line carries its own reward and celebration. But what about the space in between? The “messy middle” is where momentum fades, progress feels invisible, and self-doubt creeps in.

In this episode of Joyfully Unstoppable, Becky Hamm, leadership coach and founder of Women Lead Well, unpacks why the middle of the journey feels so draining—and how you can keep moving forward with clarity, resilience, and confidence. You’ll learn:

⇨ Why feeling stuck in the middle is normal (and not a sign of failure)

⇨ How to reconnect with your “why” when motivation dips

⇨ The power of celebrating invisible progress and micro-wins

⇨ Why rest, support, and perspective are essential leadership tools

If you’ve ever wondered whether to quit because progress feels too slow, this conversation will remind you that the middle isn’t the end—it’s the refining ground where real growth happens.

Check out From Drain to Gain: Strategies for a Healthy Body Budget

Joyfully Unstoppable—helping women reconnect with what matters most.

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💼 Coaching for Women Leaders – Ready for personalized support? Explore 1:1 coaching
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🏡 Explore Women Lead Well – Learn more about Women Lead Well and everything we offer

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable,the podcast for women who are
ready to lead boldly, livelightly, and reclaim their joy.
Whether you're leading a team, aclassroom, a boardroom, or your
own big, beautiful life, I am soglad you found us.
I am your host, Becky Hamleadership coach, speaker and

(00:28):
founder of Women Lead Well.
After years of high levelleadership, I discovered that
success doesn't have to come atthe cost of your peace, your
values, or your wellbeing.
Each week, we'll explore what itmeans to lead with clarity,
confidence, and authenticity.
Even in a world that tells youto hustle harder and prove your

(00:50):
worth, you carry a lot.
Let's help it feel lighter.
So friends, tell me if thisresonates.
You set a goal, you create theplan, you put in the work.
At first, it felt exciting.
There was energy, optimism, thethrill of getting started.

(01:15):
But now, weeks, maybe monthsinto the journey, you find
yourself in a different place.
The finish line is still too farto see clearly and the early
momentum has faded.
You are caught in what manyleaders call the messy middle.

(01:37):
It's that stage of progress thatfeels uncertain, exhausting.
No matter how much effort you'reputting in, you don't feel like
you're moving forward.
You begin to wonder if it'sworth it, if you're even cut out
for this, and maybe.
Maybe you should just give it upaltogether.

(01:57):
If you feel stuck in the messymiddle, my sweet friend, you are
not alone.
Every leader who has pursued abig goal, whether in their
career, building a team,personal growth, everyone
wrestles with this stage.
It is an uncomfortable space.

(02:17):
But it's also a formative one.
And so today I want us to take alook at why we feel stuck in the
middle of our journeys, what isactually happening beneath the
surface, and how we can keepgoing with clarity, resilience.
And confidence and friends.
I'm not just talking to you withthis episode.

(02:37):
I am also very much talking tomyself.
I'm in my own messy middlemoment with launching women Lead
Well and with getting ready toput out Frantic to flourishing
my 12 week online Burnoutrecovery program.
It has been so much fun and sorewarding.
But man, will I be happier whenthis phase of business

(02:59):
development is in my rear view?
So thanks.
This is maybe therapy for meeven more than it is for you.
So thanks for coming along theride.
So why is this messy, middle, sostinking messy?
Why can't we just go from startto middle to finish?

(03:20):
With ease and consistency and anice, smooth, easy to understand
trajectory.
Well, I talk about our brains alot on this podcast I'm talking
about again, one of the reasonsthe messy middle feels so hard
is that our brains are wired tothrive on visible progress.

(03:42):
And at the beginning of a newproject, we experience the quick
wins.
This might be a new role, afresh idea, burst of energy.
All of it is sparking thatnewness energy at the end of a
big project or a big initiative,a, a large sustained effort.
We see the reward we get tolaunch the thing we're trying to
launch.

(04:02):
Maybe there's a promotion.
There's some kind of a tangibleoutcome of our work.
But it's that space between Aand Z that hits different,
right?
Progress in the middle isincremental, and it often
doesn't look like progress atall.
There's research done by TheresaAmla and Steven Kramer.

(04:25):
They're the authors of theprogress principle, and they
show that what motivates peoplemost is the sense of making
meaningful progress in theirwork.
Even small wins count.
And so when those wins aren'tobvious, like when we're stuck
in the middle of a project, ourmotivation plummets and it's

(04:45):
even more for high achievingwomen because this plateau often
feels like some kind of apersonal failure because so much
of our identity is tied toperformance and results, the
absence of visible progress cantrigger doubts about our
competence.
We misinterpret the naturalrhythm of growth as proof or as

(05:07):
evidence that we're doingsomething wrong.
When in reality, feeling stuckdoesn't mean that nothing's
happening.
It often means that the work isshifting from those surface
level early winds to deeper,slower transformation.
It's like a seed beneath thesoil growth is occurring even
when we can't see it.

(05:28):
And just like that seed beneaththe soil, you gotta keep giving
your work.
Its equivalent of water andsunlight.
If you wanna see anything growand you gotta pull up any weeds
that might choke out healthygrowth.
I'm sorry it's not easier, butit's just the way, right.
We know it is.
We just don't like it.
So how do you know if you arestuck in the messy middle?

(05:53):
Well, if you're me, it justsmacks you over the head.
I mean the, the science can bepretty straightforward, pretty
obvious.
You can feel drained fromputting in effort without seeing
the results.
You can start questioning yourdirection and your abilities.
Like anyone who struggles withimposter syndrome or anyone
who's inner critic isparticularly loud, right?

(06:13):
They're gonna be screaming atyou during this phase.
You might start comparingyourself to others who seem to
be moving faster oraccomplishing more, and that
only intensifies yourfrustration.
Sometimes you even forget whyyou started in the first place.
What's important to remember isthat these signs do not mean

(06:34):
that you're failing.
They just don't.
They are normal indicators ofprogress.
At this middle stage, just likea runner who's in the middle
miles of a marathon mightquestion whether she's got the
strength to continue, right?
You hit that wall at like mile1820.
Leaders often question whetherthey can endure.

(06:57):
But, and this is the key.
Endurance is built in themiddle, not at the start or at
the finish.
And so recognizing thesefeelings as part of the process
that can help you respond withwisdom rather than panic.
So how do you keep moving whenyou feel stuck?

(07:17):
The messy middle is not a placeto give up.
I'm telling you it's not keepdriving, but the messy middle
does require a different set ofstrategies.
And so here are five ways toshift your momentum.
Number one.
The first is to reconnect withyour why.
When you started this journey,you had a vision.

(07:40):
It was something that mattereddeeply to you.
In the middle, that vision canget buried beneath the fatigue
and the doubt.
And so taking time to revisityour core values, remind
yourself of your purpose, thatcan reignite your motivation.
And you can do this throughjournaling, talking with a
mentor, working with a, a coach,like an executive coach, or even

(08:05):
revisiting the notes you wroteat the beginning, right?
Look at those first documentsthat you created at the start of
the project that can all helpyou remember why you began.
And so when you feel stuckreturning to your why, can bring
clarity that cuts through thefog.
Now the second strategy is tobreak down the next small step,

(08:30):
the finish line.
It might feel impossibly faraway, but you don't have to
cross it today, right?
You don't have to do everythingtoday instead.
Focus on the next right step.
progress compounds through microactions.
I will preach that every day,one email sent, one conversation

(08:54):
started, one section of theproject completed.
Those small steps keep youmoving forward.
Even when the big picture canfeel overwhelming.
Third, you can track andcelebrate the progress that
isn't immediately visible.
Too often we measure successonly in those big milestones,

(09:18):
but growth in the messy middleis often about skills,
resilience and perspective.
Maybe you've learned to handlefeedback with more grace, or
you're becoming more disciplinedwith your time.
Keeping a progress journal canhelp you recognize and celebrate
those invisible wins, thatresilience, that growth that's

(09:38):
occurring kind of below thesurface.
When you document what you'vegained, you begin to see that
progress has been happening.
All along, you just maybe didn'tgive yourself credit for it,
right?
Well, friend, give yourselfcredit.
The fourth strategy is to leanon your support system.
When you feel stuck, it is easyto isolate and assume you've

(10:03):
gotta figure it all out on yourown.
But mentors, peers, coachesoften see the progress that
you've missed.
They can provide encouragement,a fresh perspective,
accountability.
Surrounding yourself with peoplewho believe in you helps to
break that spiral of self-doubt,right?
You get that inner critic in theone ear, and then you've got

(10:25):
your cheerleaders surroundingyou to drown out that inner
critic and, and not in a meanway, but just to correct the
false assumptions or themisperceptions or the limiting
beliefs that the inner criticoften brings.
And fifth and finally, practiceresting strategically.

(10:45):
No guilt around rest.
I can't tell you the number ofwomen who I coach who feel like
rest is a reward, that theydon't get to rest until they've
reached that finish line.
And friend, what I'm telling youis, no, ma'am, you rest today.
Why?
Because you perform better, wellrested than strung out and

(11:06):
tired.
And because sometimes that stuckfeeling is not about progress at
all or a lack of progress.
Sometimes that stuck feeling isabout depletion your body and
your mind might simply needrest.
I've talked in a previousepisode about body budget.
I'll try to remember to link itin the show notes below, but
it's a real thing.

(11:27):
Rest is not a weakness.
It is the foundation ofsustainable leadership.
And when you got a big juicyproject that you were working to
execute, you have got to taketime to restore your energy.
You need sustainable leadership.
And when you move into thatspace, when you rest, you return

(11:49):
to your work with freshcreativity and strength.
That's what you need for thelong haul.
So friends, when you feel stuck.
I get it again.
I've been there.
I'm a little bit there rightnow.
Again, I'm talking to myself.
I'm looking right in the camera.
For those of you watching me onYouTube, I'm looking myself in
the mirror and this is my peptalk to me.

(12:11):
I know that when you feel stuck,it can be easy to lose
perspective, and the frustrationof the moment can eclipse the
progress that you have made andthe progress that you continue
to make.
But success is not built in asingle day or on a single
accomplishment.
Success comes over time throughpersistence and reflection.

(12:35):
The messy Middle teaches us totrust ourselves, to honor the
process, to listen to our needs,right?
To lean into rest, to lean intonurturing, to lean into
connection as a means to successand growth.
And this messy middle teaches usto embrace growth even when it

(12:57):
doesn't look the way weexpected.
And remember the middle phase,those points between A and Z,
that is not permanent.
Eventually you will get beyondit.
The key is to keep going oneright step at a time, even when

(13:17):
you can't yet see the finishline.
And when you do see that finishline, you will look back and
recognize that the messy middlewas not a detour, it was not
some, obstacle course, that itwas an essential part of your
transformation.
The messy middle is a universalpart of pursuing big goals,

(13:40):
especially in leadership.
It might be where motivationfades.
It might be where progress feelsinvisible.
It might be where doubts creepin, but it is also where
endurance is built, where valuesare tested, and where authentic
leadership is shaped.

(14:00):
If you feel stuck right now,remember that you are further
along than you think.
Progress is happening beneaththe surface.
And the strategies you practicehere reconnecting with your why,
breaking things into smallersteps, celebrating the invisible
progress, leaning on support andresting strategically will serve

(14:23):
you far beyond this specificgoal.
So the next time you feel stuckin the messy middle, know that
you have what it takes to keepgoing.
This is not the end of yourjourney.
It is the refining ground wherereal growth occurs.
Take a breath, take the nextstep and trust that the work

(14:46):
you're doing matters.
And if you need someencouragement along the way,
know that you don't have to walkthrough it alone.
If you're navigating your ownmessy middle and craving a
deeper, more sustainable wayforward.
Well then my friend, frantic toFlourishing was built for you.

(15:07):
In this 12 week groupexperience, we will clarify
what's next.
Without abandoning what matters,we'll reconnect with our voice,
our vision, our vitality.
We'll build rhythms that supportour highest contribution without
burning out.
It will step fully into the nextevolution of leadership with

(15:31):
courage and joy.
I'll be kicking off the pilot ina few weeks.
You can join the [e-mail] slash
flourish.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou, I would love for you to
share it with a friend who'srunning on empty.
We need more women leading fromalignment, not adrenaline.

(15:52):
And don't forget to like andsubscribe.
It really does help a smallpodcast like mine.
Next week we're talking aboutwhat to do when your fear of
rejection holds you back.
You won't wanna miss it if itwould be helpful.
You can also grab one of ourfree resources, like the Mental
Load Reset, or the ValuesClarification
[e-mail] andLinkedIn, the show notes below.

(16:18):
Remember.
Joyful, sustainable andauthentic leadership is
possible, and you deserve toenjoy every minute of it.
Until next time, I'm Becky Ham,and this is joyfully
unstoppable.