April 13, 2024 • 51 mins
Nostalgia hits different when you pair it with a dash of self-reflection, doesn't it? Well, buckle up as we zip through a time when my engineering dreams took a detour into the business lane, all thanks to a tricky dance with mathematics. And if you think that's juicy, wait until you hear about my early job escapades, my reverence for Rosa Parks, and the origins of my "Crazy J" moniker. We're cracking open the vault to my teenage world, from parody writing to a controversial poem that, in hindsight, packs an emotional punch.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey yo, what is up everybody?
What is going on?
It's your girl, jay, andwelcome back to the show.
I hope everyone is doing wellout there.
I'm doing good.
I don't have any complaints.
Right now.
Things are what they're goingto be.
(00:40):
I think the what is it called?
Retrograde, something is insomething, some planet is inside
some other planet Sounds very,very adult.
I don't know, but something,something is happening.
(01:01):
I think it's over.
Something, something ishappening, I think it's over.
So I'm, I'm feeling pretty okay.
Um, I uh, the the solar eclipsehappened.
Um, what day was that?
Um, last last Monday, yeah,this week.
So last Monday, the Monday thatjust passed was the solar
(01:21):
eclipse.
So I don't know where you guysare listening from, because I
have listeners I know all overthe world, but where I was, I
did not see anything because itwas cloudy.
I saw like a glimpse, like asmall glimpse, right before it
was totally covered.
Um, right, the the clouds brokejust enough for me to be able
(01:45):
to see it, and I couldn't evenuse my glasses, because if you
put the glasses on, I couldn'tsee anything.
So I had to take the glassesoff just so I could see that
because the clouds were so thick, but some of them broke, just
enough for me to see the littlebit of it.
Almost looked like a thumbnail.
It was getting close tocovering all the way up and I
know I was at work, I got off.
(02:06):
I think I was getting off atone yeah, I was getting off at
one and I think the eclipse wassupposed to start doing this
thing at 135 or something likethat.
And you know, then it takeshowever many minutes to like
close up or cover it up, andthen you know, open up or
(02:27):
whatever.
So I was rushing home becausepeople were making it seem like
it was going to be this likecrazy thing, like it was going
to be traffic all over the placeand you can't get food or water
and get your gas and stuff.
Now you wouldn't be able to useyour phones or anything like
that.
So I just wanted to get off andget home Because they were like
(02:50):
, why don't you just stay here,then you can see the eclipse and
then you can leave.
You know, after that and I waslike, because this is work and I
want to be here, so I want toget off when I'm supposed to get
off and I will make it home andmy boss was like, are you sure?
Because it might be, you know,tough getting home.
I was like I'll take my chances.
So I took my chances, got homeas I was driving, like it really
(03:11):
looked like a storm was coming,because it was, the clouds were
so thick and heavy and stuff.
But also, as the eclipse ishappening, because I live about
I live about 35 minutes awayfrom my job when there's no
traffic.
If there's any traffic, it getslonger and longer.
So as I was driving home, Icould see it getting starting to
(03:36):
get a little dark and with theclouds it looked like it was
about to storm.
So I'm hurrying up trying toget home.
As soon as I pull into thedriveway it starts to get, you
know, darker and darker.
And so I jump out of my car, getmy glasses, because I had
bought some glasses when I getgroceries the other the day
before and I go outside in thefront, I look, you know, as I'm
(03:58):
driving through the neighborhood, everybody's outside and stuff
like that.
So get to my house, I look up,of course I can't see anything.
And I look up, of course Ican't see anything.
And I told y'all, you know Icouldn't see with the glasses,
and I was able to see a littlesliver.
And then I went inside thehouse Excuse me y'all, my voice
is going out Went inside thehouse, got my dogs because they
were like you know, the animalsare going to be going crazy,
(04:19):
just be careful.
And so I'm looking at my dogsand they're not caring at all
what's going on.
They want to go out becausethey've been in the house all
day, so I let them out out ofthe backyard.
I went in the backyard and thenit gets not completely dark,
because it was already darkbecause of the clouds, but it
got.
It got pretty dark or whatever.
(04:40):
And so I just stood out there,kind of like wished on a star.
I don't know what you'resupposed to do during the
eclipse, but did my little wishon my star, let my dogs feel
whatever solar energy they weregoing to feel was waiting for my
(05:02):
superpowers.
None of us got it, not me or mydogs and then we went.
We went inside the house andthen by the time I got back in
the house it started gettinglighter and then it was over.
So I don't know if it was anyonethat's listening that actually
got to see the eclipse.
I know in Dallas they got tosee it pretty, pretty well.
(05:24):
I saw it on the news as it washappening and it looked.
It seemed like it looked prettycool.
I don't know if y'all have seenthe.
The the show heroes that Ithink used to come on NBC.
That used to be my show, butit's about normal people having
superhero powers or supernaturalpowers or whatever, but it was
because of a eclipse somehow wasinvolved in that, but anyway,
(05:48):
that's what it looked like.
They were showing it on TV andI was like man to see that in
person probably would have beencool, but I didn't get that
opportunity and it is what it is.
But anyway, saw the eclipse.
I hope you guys saw it, or Isaw a piece of it, hope you guys
saw it, and that was.
That's all that I have going onthis past, these past few days.
(06:08):
So we're just going to go aheadand get started with the show.
So I have been okay with myvoice the whole entire day.
It's only when I turn this micon Now my throat is scratchy a
little bit.
I'm having to clear my throat alot.
It feels like I was drinkingsomething and I got choked.
I did get choked earlier todaywhen I was eating, but that's
(06:30):
been long, long past and Ididn't have any issues with that
.
Now I'm on a mic.
I'm starting to sound a littleraspy, but I hope it's not too
bad for you guys.
So today's show I'm calling thePortfolio, and the reason I'm
calling it that is because I wasin my closet here in my studio
(06:53):
where I store like everythingthat my mom sent me from my
childhood home is in that closetand has been traveling with me
since I lived in my apartmentsand all that other stuff.
She continues to send me stuffbecause she's like you have a
house now.
I'm not the storage unit.
So every chance I get I'm goingto keep sending you stuff until
(07:16):
everything that you have thatwas here is gone and you can
have it at your house, because Iwant my space at your house,
because I want my space and it'scool.
So I have a bunch of just randomboxes in my closet that I don't
really have anywhere to put thestuff.
It just has to stay in boxes,because what is the point of
bringing them?
I do have like DVDs and VCRtapes and cassette tapes and
(07:45):
stuff like that which I couldlike get a little cabinet thing
and put them all in.
But I don't even have a VCR.
I mean, I do have a VCR but I'mnot going to watch VHS tapes,
I'm not really going to listento cassette tapes, unless you
know, something crazy happensthat most of the music I can
find on a streaming service soit's no use of, like there's no
(08:09):
use in like bringing that stuffout, so it's in a box and then I
have like books and other, justother random stuff.
So if you guys heard theepisode Britt and I did when we
we were doing SW's top 10 songs,you would have heard me talk
about me and my roommates incollege doing an intro on our
(08:32):
answering machine to Rain by SWV.
So I went in the closet to tryto find, because I'm like I'm
sure I have it because it's inthe boxes of all this stuff that
I had since high school andcollege and all this other stuff
I don't throw away.
So I found the tapes, but thereare many tapes and I could not
(08:54):
find the tape recorder.
Like I used to have a littlesmall hand or handheld tape
recorder that I would bring tome to class when I was in
college and that's how I wouldlike record my lectures and
stuff like that.
Back in the day y'all we didn'treally.
I mean, I had a laptop, but itwas not something you travel
with, it wasn't something likeyou bring to class.
(09:16):
Most of us had either the taperecorders or a digital recorder
in class if we wanted to recordthe class in case we missed
notes or something like that.
So that's what we had.
We didn't have laptops orphones that can record or
anything like that back when Iwas in school.
I know I'm dating myself, butthat's just what it was.
(09:38):
Anyway, I thought I still hadthat tape player somewhere in
there and I'm still looking.
I didn't find it.
But what I did find was thisbook, kind of like a binder
almost, and it says my firstname and then it says portfolio.
(09:58):
So I was like, let me look inhere and see what's actually in
this thing.
And as I began to look at it Iwas like this might be
interesting enough to make it anepisode, because I enjoy being
able to look back and benostalgic, and I got a lot of
(10:19):
good feedback when I wentthrough my senior book.
So I decided I'm going to gothrough this portfolio, I think.
I think this is either I believeit's 10th grade, it's either
10th or 11th grade, I don'treally know, cause there's no
real indication.
There's a lot of older stuff inhere from like when I was in
the seventh and eighth grade,but it's also stuff in here from
(10:42):
when I was in the 10th grade.
So I'm not really sure whatyear this actually is from, but
I know I was probably in highschool.
So I'm going to go through itso you can see what was in a
young Jay Buggs mind back inhigh school, and I think it's
cool to kind of look back.
So you're going to hear thepages turn, as as Jill Scott
(11:06):
says.
So let's jump into it.
So this says and I believe I didthis I did this for a project,
some kind of project in one ofmy classes.
I'm sure it wasn't somethingthat I just did by myself or
like I just wanted to do.
It was for for something.
So this says table of contents.
First thing is a resume.
Next thing is a self ofcontents.
First thing is a resume.
Next thing is a self-portrait.
(11:27):
Third thing is a parody.
Fourth thing is a response on,I guess, something I had to read
Thanatopis.
I'm not sure, I don't evenremember reading that, but okay,
then it says the relationshipand then it says self-assessment
.
The next thing is awards andhonors.
The next thing is reports andbest current work, and then nine
(11:49):
is the last thing is thespecial interest.
So we're going to go throughthis as much as it makes sense.
Some stuff I'm not going to gothrough because it's just random
reports and stuff like that.
But let's check it out, let'ssee what was going on in my mind
back in the early 90s.
All right, looking at my resume, I did not have a job.
(12:13):
So I think my mom just had mewrite down what I was doing in
school.
I didn't have a job in highschool guys, because my mom
would not allow me to work,because she wanted me to put
school first and not bedistracted by anything.
(12:33):
But she also didn't give memoney, like she was very scarce
with the money.
So it was pretty, pretty tough.
I'll have to ask for things andthen she would decide if she
really wanted to do it or not.
And then I'll be like I canjust get a job and get it myself
.
And she was like no, cause, youneed to be in them, school
(12:54):
books and not, you know,whatever else.
So it was.
It was a tug of war in myhousehold as far as things like
that.
But anyway, the resume.
It says my occupational goal isto be an electrical engineer.
My education Benton Harbor HighSchool, ninth and 10th grade.
So this had to be, like I said,around 10th or 11th grade
(13:18):
Coursework English Geometry,algebra 3, world History,
biology, chemistry, algebra 1,pre-calculus U three world
history, biology, chemistry,algebra one, pre-calculus, us
history, physical science.
I don't know why I wrote itlike that and why I have algebra
three before algebra one, buthey, that's what's there.
Extracurricular activities isthe church youth group, which
(13:41):
makes sense it tracks because Igrew up in a very, a very strict
religious household andMichigan youth and government I
believe I talked about thatbefore.
Michigan youth and governmentwas an organization in high
school that we had in which ittaught us how the government
works and every year we wouldget to go to the Capitol State
(14:05):
Capitol in Lansing, michigan andwhile the Congress people or
Congress was out on a break, wewould get to spend the week in
in the Capitol like performingCapitol duties.
So we would pretty much youwill be assigned.
So it was all the, all thesedifferent schools around around
(14:28):
Michigan.
Right, we would meet up thereand then we would be assigned
different things.
You, you would like pull like acard or something or like they
would just randomly randomlyassign you things and when you
get your name badge you wouldsee that you're a representative
or you're a Senator.
And if you get your name badgeyou will see that you're a
representative or you're aSenator.
Um, and if you were, you knowwhat committees you were on and
(14:50):
things like that.
So pretty much we wouldliterally go through a whole
week of what, uh what agovernment session would be.
We would vote for a governor,we would vote for the Lieutenant
governor, we would vote for theSergeant at arms like all the
people that like run, run thethe house and sit in, and stuff
like that, and then we wouldperform these duties.
(15:13):
I remember I was on theDepartment of Transportation
Committee, so it was my job topretty much come up with
different bills and things thatwe wanted to present, because I
was also a representative.
I remember I think both years Iwas a representative.
I don't think I ever was asenator, but either way, one
(15:37):
year I was on a department oftransportation.
So it was our job to come upwith like different bills that
hopefully would turn into laws,like is dealing in, dealing with
, like public safety orsomething like that.
And you would literally havepeople come in that were
lobbyists to try to get theirpoints across, to get you to you
know, vote or make a bill basedoff what, what they're, what
(16:01):
they were trying to get you todo as a lobbyist.
So I did that and then, once wemade, once we figured out what
we were going to present to bebills, of course we would go to
the chambers, bring that up,talk like anything.
So pretty much the way thegovernment is supposed to work.
(16:23):
That's what we did for thewhole week or whatever.
But outside of that we wouldget to meet other high school
kids from all over.
Most of the time.
Side of that we would get tomeet other high school kids from
all over.
Most of the time we kind ofnavigated to the kids from
Detroit.
We became friends with a lot ofthem, we would hang out, you
know different things, whatever.
It was a good time.
But that was Michigan YouthGovernment.
I really, really enjoyed thatclass and I thought that was
(16:44):
dope to teach young kids aboutlaws and how things are made,
and I wish they kind of hadsomething.
I don't know if they still haveanything like that these days,
but I don't think they do.
I think civics is probably asclose as you're gonna get, but I
thought it was a dope thing tobe a part of.
Anyway, my hobbies on here arewriting, music and computer
(17:06):
works.
What are computer works?
I don't know.
My mom made me write that.
And then my work experience thesummer of 1990, I was a
bookkeeper at ChristConstruction Company, which is
my dad's former constructioncompany.
He owned it and that was myresume.
(17:27):
So my self portrait.
So I believe from reading thisprior, I believe it was like a
fill in the blank type of thing,like they gave you how they
wanted you to start, differentsentences and then you just fill
in the blank, but then you takethat whole thing and you type
it up.
So this is what myself-portrait is.
It says hi, my name is what myname is.
(17:50):
And here is a self-portrait ofmyself.
My favorite color is blue.
The darker the blue, the betterit is.
I love any kind of food, but ifI had to pick one food it would
have to be pepperoni pizza.
My favorite musical instrumentis the keyboard.
There are many things I can do,but I think I have a hidden
(18:11):
talent that has yet to be found.
My favorite sport is basketball.
I cannot write or sing verywell and by right I mean like
handwrite, because myhandwriting is horrible.
But I cannot write or sing verywell.
But I'm working on them.
Most people like to tease meabout my musical interests, like
music artists or differentmusic.
One of my unique mannerisms isthat I have a nice laid back
(18:35):
attitude.
My pet peeves are people whoare fake and people who don't
show or give respect that is due.
I plan to pursue a career inelectrical engineering,
recording engineering or acting,because I feel like that.
These are awesome careers thatI can be successful in.
Spoiler alert I did not doeither.
(18:56):
I didn't do any of those.
I did go to college.
I started college as anelectrical engineering major and
the math was not mathing and Idecided that was not going to be
my you know my forte.
So I switched it to businessand then also I was going to go
(19:20):
to.
After I graduated college Istarted to have interest in this
school called Full Sail, whichis in Florida, right outside of
where Disney World is sale,which is in Florida, right
outside of where Disney World is.
I think it's Winter Park,florida, and actually it's a
really notable school.
A lot of people that work onDisney movies and stuff went
(19:41):
there and got their degrees andstuff to work on the animation
or the production or whatever.
It's a big time thing.
I applied to go there.
I got invited to come out totour the school, went out there,
um, I wanted to go forrecording engineering shocking
right and um, I don't know whydid I not go.
(20:02):
I ended up I don't remember itmight've been cause I couldn't
afford it, cause my mom was notgoing to.
They weren't going to pay forany more school for me once I
graduated, um, and I hadactually my by the time my
junior year rolled around.
I was not.
They weren't paying for schoolfor me.
I had, um, enough scholarshipsand I had become an in-state
(20:28):
student.
So with my scholarships andwork, study and stuff like that,
I actually was paying forschool and they didn't owe
anything outside of that Likethey were done, other than my
school loans or whatever.
But I still had that that.
I wanted to try to do it, but Ijust didn't end up doing it.
But that's pretty cool to lookback to see.
(20:48):
I didn't realize that I wantedto be an actor or actress, but
yeah, that's pretty cool to lookback to see.
I didn't realize that I wantedto be an actor or actress, but
yeah, that's pretty cool to lookback.
Anyway, my strongest charactertrait is the ability to stay
determined and not let anybodychange my mind.
I admire Rosa Parks because shewas determined to fight for
what she thought was right.
My biggest fear is not beingable to achieve any goals I have
(21:11):
set for myself.
That's pretty.
That's pretty accurate.
My eyes are brown like iced tea.
My hair is dark.
My eyes are dark brown likeiced tea.
My hair is dark brown likecherry, oak, wood, what?
My skin is brown like sand.
I can compare myself to a VCR,because if anyone missed
(21:35):
anything on TV, they could askme and I could give them a
playback.
I am most like a fly, becauseI'm always bugging somebody.
I would describe my walk asdifferent.
I don't know why they askedabout our walk, but okay, I
would describe my walk asdifferent but normal.
What If I would create anickname for myself?
(21:57):
I would call myself Crazy Jaybecause everyone calls me crazy.
Everyone did call me crazy, notcrazy in a bad way.
They'd be like girl, you're socrazy, that type of crazy.
And actually people did call meCrazy Jay.
Some people wrote that in myyearbook.
Most, most of the people thatcall me that was, I think I get
that name in like seventh oreighth grade.
(22:19):
Don't nobody call me that,please don't do that.
But um, that was like an old,old, old nickname, um, from back
in the day, um.
So the next, the next portionof this is a parody.
I wrote several of these.
Just growing up, I used to spendtime in my room trying to make
(22:40):
music, trying to write shortstories or books or whatever.
I like to write, I like to read, I like to make music, I like
to write music.
Those were some of my hobbiesand one of my favorite things to
do, which I got this from RussParr, the Russ Parr radio show.
I don't know if y'all know whoRuss Parr is, but when I was
(23:01):
growing up we listened to WGCI,which was a Chicago station.
Even though I'm from Michigan,I live very, very close to
Chicago and because we were verysmall town, we usually got
Chicago stations on TV and theChicago radio stations will come
through on the radio, and so,anyway, russ Parr would come on.
(23:23):
I want to say Saturdays.
We got Wendy Williams at acertain time and then it was
either before or after that.
Russ Parr and Alfreda's wouldcome on.
Alfreda's, every week she woulddo a parody song of whatever.
So she would take like apopular song like that's the way
love goes and I actually mightif I can find it and I keep
(23:47):
saying this, if I can find it,cause it's just in boxes in my
closet.
It's just a matter of me likegoing to dig through them If I
can find one of the parodiesthat she did.
I remember her doing one onthat's the way love goes.
I forget what the parody was,but she would do those every
week and so I became inspired.
So I would listen to songs andthen make parodies of them, kind
(24:07):
of like Weird Al Yankovic.
Young kids y'all don't evenknow who that is, but people my
age y'all know who that is.
He was a parody singer.
He took a lot of popular songsand also made them into parody.
So I became very inspired bythat.
So I did a parody of At yourBest, you Are Love, performed by
(24:32):
Aaliyah, written and remixed byyou know who, and I'm not going
to read it out of respect,because I was young y'all we
already know like the wholestory of Aaliyah and Robert, and
(24:52):
looking back at it now, thatwas not cool.
But as a young kid I don'tthink I really knew the
magnitude of what was going on.
So because of that I will notread this parody.
But those of you that are coolwith me, if y'all want to know
what the parody says, I will letyou know, but I'm not going to
(25:12):
read it because it's just, it'snot in good taste per se.
There's another piece that I amgoing to read that probably
isn't in the best taste, but Ifeel like it's a little lighter
than what I did for At your Best, but I did.
It is in there.
So the next one is therelationship.
(25:33):
So this is what I wrote.
So again, y'all disclaimer I amnot, in no way am I excusing or
making fun of domestic violence.
I was 15, 14, 16, somewherearound there Again, did not
really realize the magnitude ofthings.
(25:55):
So just take this as this is ayoung kid writing this back in
the early 90s.
Times have changed, okay.
So don't send me no angryfeedback or anything like that,
just go with it.
I just want y'all to see kindof how my mind was working back
then.
All right, the relationship byme.
(26:18):
There is this female by the nameof Lisa.
She burned her man's house upbecause he just couldn't please
her.
She slapped him in the face, hepunched her in the eye.
She also cussed him out.
Then she began to cry.
All this happened because hecame home too late.
(26:40):
When he came home, she didn'thesitate to tell him how she
felt.
You know what was up.
But to her misfortune, some morebad luck.
She couldn't control him.
He went into rage and probablyhit her as many times as her age
.
Y'all, please, I'm sorry, justgo with it.
(27:02):
He stormed out of the house fora 20 mile walk.
What is going on is what shethought.
So she pulled herself togetherand tried to let it ride, but
with the bruises and pain shecouldn't let it slide.
So she took some matches andburnable things, started a fire.
(27:25):
Quick, nice and clean.
It didn't take long before itstarted to blaze.
The smoke came out like a thickblack haze.
She gathered her things andwent on her way, thinking to
herself he won't forget this day.
(27:46):
She went outside to watch it awhile.
On her face was a mysterioussmile.
But she was not satisfied.
Oh no, not by far.
So she went and vandalized hisexpensive cars.
By this time she felt she wasdone and got in her bins and
(28:07):
went on the run bins and went onthe run.
Where she went then and whatshe did after, no one knows, but
it filled me with laughter, see, because when Andre came back
he thought he was jamming, butwhen he saw the house, his heart
he was grabbing.
The house was totally burned,nothing more, nothing less.
(28:31):
Left Eye turned herself in.
Andre became homeless.
They were both on the newsevery hour all the time.
Andre told the press thatsomething was wrong with Left
Eye's mind.
It didn't take long beforeLefty was released.
She volunteered for AA so someof her pain could be eased.
(28:52):
Now she's back with her groupand a new album and video are
out.
She's trying to leave hertroubles behind, but they always
seem to come about.
Meanwhile Andre is getting intothe music business himself and
the outcome looks shady.
I hope they both go on withtheir lives and work something
out, because this relationshipis crazy.
(29:18):
So that was the relationship byme written, obviously, about the
situation with Lisa and Andre.
And again, I understand thatthere was some domestic violence
going on.
I was a teenager, didn't reallyget the magnitude of what's
(29:42):
going on, so if anyone wastriggered by that I do apologize
.
But again, this is the 90s, Iwas a kid.
But I have to say, outside ofthat, y'all have to give it to
me, like I this, like the poem,the creativity, like I wrote all
this by myself, so I have togive myself some snaps for that.
(30:06):
So now the self assessment, itsays I think this was just why I
did this, or whatever it says,the occasion of my self-portrait
is to allow other people toknow more about me.
I didn't use any particularprocess to write my
self-portrait.
I learned that I can see myselfin a different way.
I like the self-portraitbecause it gives you a chance to
(30:27):
describe yourself the way yousee yourself.
Okay, I selected this piecebecause it is you a chance to
describe yourself the way yousee yourself.
Okay, I selected this piecebecause it is a good opportunity
to let others know about you.
The reason I chose to do At yourBest for my parody is to make
people laugh and bring them upon a certain event.
I wrote a song with the firstand third lines rhyming.
(30:48):
I learned that I can turn anyevent into a song and make it
sound just like the song itself.
I liked writing my parodybecause it allowed me to use my
mind in a fun way.
I selected this piece because Ifeel that it shows some of my
writing skills.
The reason I decided to do therelationship was to inform
people of a strong feelingwithin myself in a comical way.
(31:10):
I wrote this piece in poetryform.
I learned that when you have astrong feeling of something,
it's easy to put into words.
I selected this piece becauseit was my favorite piece of
writing that I wrote myselfcompletely from scratch.
I like this piece because itmakes me feel good to be able to
look at other people reading mywork and enjoying it also.
(31:33):
So that was it.
That was it of that, and thenthe rest of this is just some
certificates.
So I see that I was awardedthis doesn't say what year, but
it had to be seventh or eighthgrade.
I was awarded a scholarship tostudy at Michigan Tech, which
(31:55):
was a technical school thattaught you I think it was like
engineering, because I waswanting to be an engineer back
then.
So it was like robotics orsomething like that.
Have an award.
Oh, this is.
This is freshman year of highschool.
I was awarded a certificate formy badminton tournament that I
(32:16):
got second place in me and myfriend Tonette.
Shout out to Tonette we gotsecond place in the badminton
tournament.
Y'all don't want to see me onon on badminton.
Y'all want to see me?
Um, I also got an award forschool service.
What, and that was before highschool, I don't know what that
(32:38):
was for.
Okay, I have another award here, for.
This is to certify that I havemaintained an exceptional
standard of scholarship and hasduly earned this honor academic
achievement.
It must've been like my gradesor whatever, for seventh grade.
Here's another one for myschool.
(33:00):
My junior high was calledMcCord Renaissance Center.
I went to Stern Brunson forkindergarten through first
second grade, which is no longera school.
Then I went to Gifted andTalented Academy for the gifted
and the talented for until sixthgrade and I went to McCord
(33:21):
seventh and eighth grade andthen I went to just our regular
high school.
We only had one, and from asmall town for high school,
anyway.
So this says this is my diploma.
Hereby, let it be known, uponthe recommendation of faculty of
McCord Renaissance Center, aneighth grade diploma has been
conferred upon me in recognitionof the satisfactory completion
(33:44):
of the academic requirements ofthe Benton Harbor Area High
School Board of Education.
Blah blah, blah, blah blah.
Then I also have an honor rollcertificate for the first
semester, I wanna say, of eighthgrade.
I have another certificate.
This is a scholarship that Iwas awarded in junior high to
(34:05):
study at Dance Arts Academy.
I used to dance, dance like tapdance.
Well, I got, I got thescholarship for tap to go to the
Dance Art Academy to learn tap,for I think it was two years.
I did that in the summer, so Itook dance during school and in
the summertime I would go todance dance art and take a tap.
(34:29):
So I danced for, I mean, twoyears and some change total, but
it was like two full years,because I took two semesters of
it in school and then I took itduring the summer for both years
or whatever.
So that was cool.
Then I have let me see this ismy National Junior Honor Society
(34:49):
certificate the Hazel Maychapter and my little card.
I also got an honorable mentionfor mathematics and science had
to be for science because itcouldn't have been for
mathematics.
Then okay, here we go.
Then here is a report card thatI got.
This was 10th grade, 10th grade,the first semester of 10th
(35:15):
grade.
So on one side they have thecourse description, then they
have the teacher and it is howmany credits you get per class,
and then it has on the otherside the grade and then it has a
spot for comments and then aspot for absences.
So let's see, let's see whatwas popping with me in the 10th
(35:38):
grade, first semester.
So I had honors English, 10thgrade English with Miss Chambers
I got a B.
Spanish one.
With Mr Ollers I got a BSpanish one.
With Mr Ollers I got an A.
(35:59):
Multicultural history with MsChurchwell I got an A.
Algebra three with Mr Woods Igot a B.
Honors biology I don't rememberthis name, ms Chenault's, I
know it was a lady, I think Igot a C and in computer
literature, ms Sunblad, I got aB minus.
(36:19):
So my GPA that semester was a3.5.
A 3.5.
And let's see what these someof the.
They left some comments.
So under honors English that Igot to be in the comment is a
number one, and number one saysshould ask for extra help.
(36:43):
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
I did struggle in English withwriting.
Although I really liked towrite it was I don't know I
found it hard to like get outwhat I wanted to say and make it
make sense and like have allthe right punctuation and all
that other stuff.
So I struggled in that, eventhough I had a B, it wasn't
(37:05):
until I got with two of myteachers, miss Holmes and Miss
Richburg, that they actuallytook the time with me after
school.
I would stay after school andthey would literally like tutor
me and just like help me write.
They would make me like write abunch of different things.
I had like extra homework everyday to try to get me you know
(37:26):
good at, you know writing andunderstanding all that stuff.
Anyway, they did great.
Shout out to Miss Richburg andMiss Holmes.
Um, so yeah, needed extra help.
Spanish one alers.
I got an A right.
When you look at thecommunication, though cause I
did not go to that class, itsays zero.
(37:47):
Often absent or tardy is thecomment.
I literally did not go to thatclass.
I don't even know how I got anA.
I was very, very charming inhigh school.
For the most part I did my work, but like Spanish, I'm not.
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do, mrAllers?
I would show up, pass the testand then I would leave class.
(38:10):
I would go find something elseto do A lot of times I would ask
him we had like a viewing roomacross the hall from his class,
like where you would go to watchfilm or whatever.
For you know, special classescan go in there and watch film.
I would go in there, I wouldbring my VHS tapes of whatever I
(38:32):
recorded, like Martin or InLiving Color or like Living
Single or something, and I wouldplay those in there and I would
get other students to come overand then we would just spend
the whole class watching it inthere and not not being in class
.
So, yeah, that explains theoften absent or tardy.
But then under absence hedoesn't have anything.
(38:55):
So I don't know if I was justabsent or just not, like if I
showed up and left, thatprobably didn't count as an
absent.
I don't know if I was justabsent or just not, like.
If I showed up and left, thatprobably didn't count as an
absent?
I don't know, but I do know Iwas not in that class.
Very much the multiculturalhistory of Ms Churchwell, even
though I had an A in that classas well.
She also put down that I wasoften absent or tardy and I had
(39:17):
one absence.
She put down often absent ortardy and I had one absence.
She put down.
So it had to be tardy.
And again, I'm a good kid.
But also, if my friends are, wehad three stories in our school
If my friends are on the firstfloor, I'm going to be on the
first floor with them and thenwhen the bell rings I'm going to
sprint up all those flights ofstairs to get to my class that's
(39:41):
on the third floor and yeah,I'm probably going to be late.
And we had this thing like ifyou were late, like if you were
in the hallway you didn't have apass, you would automatically
go to the principal, you wouldget written up, you would get
what they call a demerit orsomething like that.
You would get written up andhave to go to principal's office
.
So I found a way to like I knewit really wasn't like security
(40:01):
guards, because we had securityguards in our school.
It really wasn't like securitywas going to be upstairs too
much on the third floor becausenobody really was up there Like
the teachers that had thatupstairs classrooms, the third
floor classrooms.
It was nobody up there, likeeverybody hung out on the first
or second floor.
Anyway, I didn't get caught.
(40:22):
I never got under married.
I never got in trouble forbeing late, but I definitely was
late a lot.
Um, algebra three that I got theB in, of course, the cat, the
uh comment is should ask forextra help, cause I definitely
needed that in honors biologythat I got to see the same thing
(40:43):
.
I should ask for extra help.
And I feel like in this classthis class was on the third
floor I think I remember this.
I don't know if kids still dothis, but this was back in the
day where you would get a likean animal and have to dissect
(41:04):
like a real animal.
So we had we had a fetal pigone time and then we had a frog
another time Like literally, youhave to cut this frog.
I would never be able to dothat today, but for whatever
reason, I was into it in the10th grade.
We cut that thing open and youhad to, like tell the different
parts of the anatomy, like theheart or the lungs or the
(41:26):
intestine, whatever, right.
I remember making my frog intoleft eye, so I made like a
little paper condom thing to putover the eye and then I made
him a hat and some boots.
This is what I was doing toclass.
This is why I got a C.
This is why I got a C Okay,computer lit.
(41:51):
I got a B minus and I got anine for the comment the nine
says lacks concentration inclass.
I don't even remember if I wentto that class, so it probably
that's probably right.
And then I have a little piecehere of letters.
So back in the day when we hadthe magazines Word Up Fresh you
(42:14):
know the white kids had theTiger Beats and Team Beat or
whatever it was called we hadfresh write on word up stuff
like that.
So I used to write letters likesnail mail letters to these
magazines and hoping in hopes ofgetting my stuff in the
magazine.
And I did.
And I actually posted this onon Twitter a while back when I
(42:35):
first found this book.
But I'm going to read you thetwo letters that I have in here
that were published in FreshMagazine.
So the first one says Baby PicsP-I-X.
It says I have a suggestion forFresh.
How about having an issue withbaby pics of all the hot stars
such as TLC, boyz II, men,jodeci, etc.
(42:55):
Their fans would love to seehow they looked back.
Then Go ahead and do it.
You won't be sorry, and I thinkthey did end up doing an issue
of that.
I don't remember if they did ordidn't, but yeah.
The second one is called FemalesComing Up.
I don't know why I like to usethis females word, but that was
(43:15):
my jam Females Coming Up.
I just like to give mad propsmad with two Ds props to all the
new female artists out there,like Da Brat, sista, lady of
Rage, entice and Simply E.
They are doing a great job ofmaking noise in the nine four
and I say it nine four, lettingfolks know that this is a year
(43:40):
for females to come up.
Thanks to all of you forcontinuing to let the sisters be
heard, stay real and keep upthe good work Signed by me.
Oh man, I can't believe I evenhad that in there.
The rest of this is just likesome of my work I guess I had to
(44:03):
put in here like stuff that Igot.
I wrote a paper on a greenhouseeffect, got an A on that.
This is my.
Is this Spanish?
No, this is something else.
Whatever it is, I got an A onit.
Pre-calculus I got an A on it.
That's probably my only A,because me and math don't go
together.
And then I had a list of booksand magazine articles that I had
(44:28):
read.
Books I know why the caged birdsings, the old man in the sea
that was definitely for school.
Romeo and Juliet was for school.
Julius Caesar was for school.
Durango Street I think I readthat on my own.
The 101 Dalmatians I read thaton my own.
And Fat man from Space I readthat on my own.
(44:48):
I don't remember what that wasabout.
It was a sci-fi book, though.
I used to spend weekends at thelibrary, y'all.
I was such a a.
I was a borderline kind of nerdlike my.
My best friends were popular,um, but my mama wasn't having
too much of like doing popularstuff, so you had to be in in
(45:09):
the books.
So, um, to keep myself out oftrouble, I just read a lot of
books and then I would love togo to the library to go check
out books and see what was newand things like that.
As I was growing up, like bythe time I got into high school
I was still reading, but notlike I was when I was like in
elementary and junior high.
But anyway, magazine articlesEbony Tony Braxton talks about
(45:33):
men, sudden stardom and undyingand the undying rumor.
Fresh Snoop, murder pays off.
Fresh TLC love them or leavethem.
The best of R&B the brat, no,posing no pretense.
Black Beat, aaliyah, thesuccess and the controversy, yo
(45:55):
Trouble Stalks the Stars.
And then Ebony, again, batteredwomen how to get and Give Help,
yeah, fresh, the Best ofRapping.
R&b.
Black Beat, yo, word Up.
All those were magazines backin the day.
And then I think last in here, Igot a certificate from my
church for a scholarship.
(46:16):
They gave me a scholarship um,partial scholarship for college.
And then I have my welcome toPV and AM, a&m university um
completion of general studies asa freshman um certificate there
.
So yeah, I think that's it,that's in here.
So it's very interesting.
(46:37):
I know it was kind of like arandom thing to have an episode
about, but I thought it waspretty dope to kind of look back
and as I'm looking I seeanother picture of this.
Was this was my 30th birthday.
A friend of mine made me acollage and, oh my God, I am so
(46:58):
drunk in all these pictures.
Why did they do that to me?
Oh, but yeah, I thought it wascool to look back, seeing that
thing like just what I wanted tobe when I was growing up and
the fact that I had a fear, or Isay my biggest fear is not
(47:20):
being able to accomplish mygoals.
It's pretty cool to be able tolook back and say that you know,
it's not, it's OK to try andmaybe not make those things.
Your life pivots as you getolder and what you think may
happen when you're a childdoesn't necessarily always
happen as an adult.
But I can look back and see thatI was super creative, my mind
(47:43):
was very expansive, I was smartand, yeah, I knew.
I knew I wanted to do somethingin entertainment and I keep
going back to that, the factthat I have a podcast, the fact
that I'm doing YouTube videosnow and stuff like that, like
having people having an audienceand stuff, really kind of full
circle moment to, when I seestuff like that, because maybe
(48:06):
I'm not a recording recordingengineer, but I know how to
produce a podcast.
I know how to edit video.
I know I know how to create ashow, something similar.
I'm not an electricalengineering, I'm not an engineer
.
I'm not an electricalengineering, I'm not an engineer
.
But I learned things along theway that I can still pull some
(48:27):
stuff apart.
I used to fix VCRs back in theday and I know how to break
apart my remote and see if I canget that to work.
I did a lot of that.
That's the reason why I wantedto be an engineer.
Because my mom was like girl,break one more thing open in
here.
Like no, we're not doing that,put that, put it back together
and go sit down somewhere.
Cause I spent a lot of timebreaking stuff apart, trying to
(48:48):
like see how it works and see ifI can get it back together.
She was like you need to go toschool for that and leave my
stuff alone.
But it, that didn't, thatdidn't happen.
But you know, life, life belife and things happen and I
think the biggest thing is justallowing the pivot to happen.
And you know, do the best withwhat you got.
(49:15):
Not, I'm not at all like sad orI don't feel.
I don't feel any way, for youknow, looking back at this, you
know, sometimes people look atthings and they're like, man, I
really didn't make it, I reallydidn't do what I wanted to do.
You know what happened andthere was a certain point in my
life probably about 10 years ago, 10, 15 years ago where I I did
(49:38):
feel like that.
But as I'm getting older, Irealized the value of like just
being alive and just survivingand, you know, accepting and
celebrating the small things.
And what's small to you isactually big to other people.
You know I'm saying the factthat I'm independent, I have my
(50:02):
own house, that I pay for my car, my, you know, a job, and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And some people look at me fromback home and be like, oh,
you're so successful, you haveall this stuff or whatever you
know.
So I think it's all aboutperception and if you look at it
in a positive way not to saythat we can't always grow and
(50:22):
learn and keep pushing and keepstriving to be better but if you
, if I, look at where I camefrom and look at all the things
that I've been through, I feelthat I'm successful and I feel
like the young girl that wrotethis stuff, the young girl that
had those dreams.
I think I think she'd be.
I think she'd be proud of me.
Now she might be mad becauseyou know I'm, I didn't get to
(50:45):
work for Video Soul and I didn'tget a job at BET Maybe.
Maybe a little disappointedthat I wasn't one of the head
writers of Word Up magazine.
But outside of that, I think Ithink the the young, the young
Jay would be would think I'mpretty cool.
So anyway, that's all I havefor this episode.
(51:07):
I thank y'all for listening tomy random episode of my
portfolio.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Um and uh, I'll talk to y'all.
Talk to y'all later.
Peace out.
Hey yo, what is up everybody?
What is going on?
It's your girl, jay, andwelcome back to the show.
I hope everyone is doing wellout there.
I'm doing good.
I don't have any complaints.
Right now.
Things are what they're goingto be.
(00:40):
I think the what is it called?
Retrograde, something is insomething, some planet is inside
some other planet Sounds very,very adult.
I don't know, but something,something is happening.
(01:01):
I think it's over.
Something, something ishappening, I think it's over.
So I'm, I'm feeling pretty okay.
Um, I uh, the the solar eclipsehappened.
Um, what day was that?
Um, last last Monday, yeah,this week.
So last Monday, the Monday thatjust passed was the solar
(01:21):
eclipse.
So I don't know where you guysare listening from, because I
have listeners I know all overthe world, but where I was, I
did not see anything because itwas cloudy.
I saw like a glimpse, like asmall glimpse, right before it
was totally covered.
Um, right, the the clouds brokejust enough for me to be able
(01:45):
to see it, and I couldn't evenuse my glasses, because if you
put the glasses on, I couldn'tsee anything.
So I had to take the glassesoff just so I could see that
because the clouds were so thick, but some of them broke, just
enough for me to see the littlebit of it.
Almost looked like a thumbnail.
It was getting close tocovering all the way up and I
know I was at work, I got off.
(02:06):
I think I was getting off atone yeah, I was getting off at
one and I think the eclipse wassupposed to start doing this
thing at 135 or something likethat.
And you know, then it takeshowever many minutes to like
close up or cover it up, andthen you know, open up or
(02:27):
whatever.
So I was rushing home becausepeople were making it seem like
it was going to be this likecrazy thing, like it was going
to be traffic all over the placeand you can't get food or water
and get your gas and stuff.
Now you wouldn't be able to useyour phones or anything like
that.
So I just wanted to get off andget home Because they were like
(02:50):
, why don't you just stay here,then you can see the eclipse and
then you can leave.
You know, after that and I waslike, because this is work and I
want to be here, so I want toget off when I'm supposed to get
off and I will make it home andmy boss was like, are you sure?
Because it might be, you know,tough getting home.
I was like I'll take my chances.
So I took my chances, got homeas I was driving, like it really
(03:11):
looked like a storm was coming,because it was, the clouds were
so thick and heavy and stuff.
But also, as the eclipse ishappening, because I live about
I live about 35 minutes awayfrom my job when there's no
traffic.
If there's any traffic, it getslonger and longer.
So as I was driving home, Icould see it getting starting to
(03:36):
get a little dark and with theclouds it looked like it was
about to storm.
So I'm hurrying up trying toget home.
As soon as I pull into thedriveway it starts to get, you
know, darker and darker.
And so I jump out of my car, getmy glasses, because I had
bought some glasses when I getgroceries the other the day
before and I go outside in thefront, I look, you know, as I'm
(03:58):
driving through the neighborhood, everybody's outside and stuff
like that.
So get to my house, I look up,of course I can't see anything.
And I look up, of course Ican't see anything.
And I told y'all, you know Icouldn't see with the glasses,
and I was able to see a littlesliver.
And then I went inside thehouse Excuse me y'all, my voice
is going out Went inside thehouse, got my dogs because they
were like you know, the animalsare going to be going crazy,
(04:19):
just be careful.
And so I'm looking at my dogsand they're not caring at all
what's going on.
They want to go out becausethey've been in the house all
day, so I let them out out ofthe backyard.
I went in the backyard and thenit gets not completely dark,
because it was already darkbecause of the clouds, but it
got.
It got pretty dark or whatever.
(04:40):
And so I just stood out there,kind of like wished on a star.
I don't know what you'resupposed to do during the
eclipse, but did my little wishon my star, let my dogs feel
whatever solar energy they weregoing to feel was waiting for my
(05:02):
superpowers.
None of us got it, not me or mydogs and then we went.
We went inside the house andthen by the time I got back in
the house it started gettinglighter and then it was over.
So I don't know if it was anyonethat's listening that actually
got to see the eclipse.
I know in Dallas they got tosee it pretty, pretty well.
(05:24):
I saw it on the news as it washappening and it looked.
It seemed like it looked prettycool.
I don't know if y'all have seenthe.
The the show heroes that Ithink used to come on NBC.
That used to be my show, butit's about normal people having
superhero powers or supernaturalpowers or whatever, but it was
because of a eclipse somehow wasinvolved in that, but anyway,
(05:48):
that's what it looked like.
They were showing it on TV andI was like man to see that in
person probably would have beencool, but I didn't get that
opportunity and it is what it is.
But anyway, saw the eclipse.
I hope you guys saw it, or Isaw a piece of it, hope you guys
saw it, and that was.
That's all that I have going onthis past, these past few days.
(06:08):
So we're just going to go aheadand get started with the show.
So I have been okay with myvoice the whole entire day.
It's only when I turn this micon Now my throat is scratchy a
little bit.
I'm having to clear my throat alot.
It feels like I was drinkingsomething and I got choked.
I did get choked earlier todaywhen I was eating, but that's
(06:30):
been long, long past and Ididn't have any issues with that
.
Now I'm on a mic.
I'm starting to sound a littleraspy, but I hope it's not too
bad for you guys.
So today's show I'm calling thePortfolio, and the reason I'm
calling it that is because I wasin my closet here in my studio
(06:53):
where I store like everythingthat my mom sent me from my
childhood home is in that closetand has been traveling with me
since I lived in my apartmentsand all that other stuff.
She continues to send me stuffbecause she's like you have a
house now.
I'm not the storage unit.
So every chance I get I'm goingto keep sending you stuff until
(07:16):
everything that you have thatwas here is gone and you can
have it at your house, because Iwant my space at your house,
because I want my space and it'scool.
So I have a bunch of just randomboxes in my closet that I don't
really have anywhere to put thestuff.
It just has to stay in boxes,because what is the point of
bringing them?
I do have like DVDs and VCRtapes and cassette tapes and
(07:45):
stuff like that which I couldlike get a little cabinet thing
and put them all in.
But I don't even have a VCR.
I mean, I do have a VCR but I'mnot going to watch VHS tapes,
I'm not really going to listento cassette tapes, unless you
know, something crazy happensthat most of the music I can
find on a streaming service soit's no use of, like there's no
(08:09):
use in like bringing that stuffout, so it's in a box and then I
have like books and other, justother random stuff.
So if you guys heard theepisode Britt and I did when we
we were doing SW's top 10 songs,you would have heard me talk
about me and my roommates incollege doing an intro on our
(08:32):
answering machine to Rain by SWV.
So I went in the closet to tryto find, because I'm like I'm
sure I have it because it's inthe boxes of all this stuff that
I had since high school andcollege and all this other stuff
I don't throw away.
So I found the tapes, but thereare many tapes and I could not
(08:54):
find the tape recorder.
Like I used to have a littlesmall hand or handheld tape
recorder that I would bring tome to class when I was in
college and that's how I wouldlike record my lectures and
stuff like that.
Back in the day y'all we didn'treally.
I mean, I had a laptop, but itwas not something you travel
with, it wasn't something likeyou bring to class.
(09:16):
Most of us had either the taperecorders or a digital recorder
in class if we wanted to recordthe class in case we missed
notes or something like that.
So that's what we had.
We didn't have laptops orphones that can record or
anything like that back when Iwas in school.
I know I'm dating myself, butthat's just what it was.
(09:38):
Anyway, I thought I still hadthat tape player somewhere in
there and I'm still looking.
I didn't find it.
But what I did find was thisbook, kind of like a binder
almost, and it says my firstname and then it says portfolio.
(09:58):
So I was like, let me look inhere and see what's actually in
this thing.
And as I began to look at it Iwas like this might be
interesting enough to make it anepisode, because I enjoy being
able to look back and benostalgic, and I got a lot of
(10:19):
good feedback when I wentthrough my senior book.
So I decided I'm going to gothrough this portfolio, I think.
I think this is either I believeit's 10th grade, it's either
10th or 11th grade, I don'treally know, cause there's no
real indication.
There's a lot of older stuff inhere from like when I was in
the seventh and eighth grade,but it's also stuff in here from
(10:42):
when I was in the 10th grade.
So I'm not really sure whatyear this actually is from, but
I know I was probably in highschool.
So I'm going to go through itso you can see what was in a
young Jay Buggs mind back inhigh school, and I think it's
cool to kind of look back.
So you're going to hear thepages turn, as as Jill Scott
(11:06):
says.
So let's jump into it.
So this says and I believe I didthis I did this for a project,
some kind of project in one ofmy classes.
I'm sure it wasn't somethingthat I just did by myself or
like I just wanted to do.
It was for for something.
So this says table of contents.
First thing is a resume.
Next thing is a self ofcontents.
First thing is a resume.
Next thing is a self-portrait.
(11:27):
Third thing is a parody.
Fourth thing is a response on,I guess, something I had to read
Thanatopis.
I'm not sure, I don't evenremember reading that, but okay,
then it says the relationshipand then it says self-assessment
.
The next thing is awards andhonors.
The next thing is reports andbest current work, and then nine
(11:49):
is the last thing is thespecial interest.
So we're going to go throughthis as much as it makes sense.
Some stuff I'm not going to gothrough because it's just random
reports and stuff like that.
But let's check it out, let'ssee what was going on in my mind
back in the early 90s.
All right, looking at my resume, I did not have a job.
(12:13):
So I think my mom just had mewrite down what I was doing in
school.
I didn't have a job in highschool guys, because my mom
would not allow me to work,because she wanted me to put
school first and not bedistracted by anything.
(12:33):
But she also didn't give memoney, like she was very scarce
with the money.
So it was pretty, pretty tough.
I'll have to ask for things andthen she would decide if she
really wanted to do it or not.
And then I'll be like I canjust get a job and get it myself
.
And she was like no, cause, youneed to be in them, school
(12:54):
books and not, you know,whatever else.
So it was.
It was a tug of war in myhousehold as far as things like
that.
But anyway, the resume.
It says my occupational goal isto be an electrical engineer.
My education Benton Harbor HighSchool, ninth and 10th grade.
So this had to be, like I said,around 10th or 11th grade
(13:18):
Coursework English Geometry,algebra 3, world History,
biology, chemistry, algebra 1,pre-calculus U three world
history, biology, chemistry,algebra one, pre-calculus, us
history, physical science.
I don't know why I wrote itlike that and why I have algebra
three before algebra one, buthey, that's what's there.
Extracurricular activities isthe church youth group, which
(13:41):
makes sense it tracks because Igrew up in a very, a very strict
religious household andMichigan youth and government I
believe I talked about thatbefore.
Michigan youth and governmentwas an organization in high
school that we had in which ittaught us how the government
works and every year we wouldget to go to the Capitol State
(14:05):
Capitol in Lansing, michigan andwhile the Congress people or
Congress was out on a break, wewould get to spend the week in
in the Capitol like performingCapitol duties.
So we would pretty much youwill be assigned.
So it was all the, all thesedifferent schools around around
(14:28):
Michigan.
Right, we would meet up thereand then we would be assigned
different things.
You, you would like pull like acard or something or like they
would just randomly randomlyassign you things and when you
get your name badge you wouldsee that you're a representative
or you're a Senator.
And if you get your name badgeyou will see that you're a
representative or you're aSenator.
Um, and if you were, you knowwhat committees you were on and
(14:50):
things like that.
So pretty much we wouldliterally go through a whole
week of what, uh what agovernment session would be.
We would vote for a governor,we would vote for the Lieutenant
governor, we would vote for theSergeant at arms like all the
people that like run, run thethe house and sit in, and stuff
like that, and then we wouldperform these duties.
(15:13):
I remember I was on theDepartment of Transportation
Committee, so it was my job topretty much come up with
different bills and things thatwe wanted to present, because I
was also a representative.
I remember I think both years Iwas a representative.
I don't think I ever was asenator, but either way, one
(15:37):
year I was on a department oftransportation.
So it was our job to come upwith like different bills that
hopefully would turn into laws,like is dealing in, dealing with
, like public safety orsomething like that.
And you would literally havepeople come in that were
lobbyists to try to get theirpoints across, to get you to you
know, vote or make a bill basedoff what, what they're, what
(16:01):
they were trying to get you todo as a lobbyist.
So I did that and then, once wemade, once we figured out what
we were going to present to bebills, of course we would go to
the chambers, bring that up,talk like anything.
So pretty much the way thegovernment is supposed to work.
(16:23):
That's what we did for thewhole week or whatever.
But outside of that we wouldget to meet other high school
kids from all over.
Most of the time.
Side of that we would get tomeet other high school kids from
all over.
Most of the time we kind ofnavigated to the kids from
Detroit.
We became friends with a lot ofthem, we would hang out, you
know different things, whatever.
It was a good time.
But that was Michigan YouthGovernment.
I really, really enjoyed thatclass and I thought that was
(16:44):
dope to teach young kids aboutlaws and how things are made,
and I wish they kind of hadsomething.
I don't know if they still haveanything like that these days,
but I don't think they do.
I think civics is probably asclose as you're gonna get, but I
thought it was a dope thing tobe a part of.
Anyway, my hobbies on here arewriting, music and computer
(17:06):
works.
What are computer works?
I don't know.
My mom made me write that.
And then my work experience thesummer of 1990, I was a
bookkeeper at ChristConstruction Company, which is
my dad's former constructioncompany.
He owned it and that was myresume.
(17:27):
So my self portrait.
So I believe from reading thisprior, I believe it was like a
fill in the blank type of thing,like they gave you how they
wanted you to start, differentsentences and then you just fill
in the blank, but then you takethat whole thing and you type
it up.
So this is what myself-portrait is.
It says hi, my name is what myname is.
(17:50):
And here is a self-portrait ofmyself.
My favorite color is blue.
The darker the blue, the betterit is.
I love any kind of food, but ifI had to pick one food it would
have to be pepperoni pizza.
My favorite musical instrumentis the keyboard.
There are many things I can do,but I think I have a hidden
(18:11):
talent that has yet to be found.
My favorite sport is basketball.
I cannot write or sing verywell and by right I mean like
handwrite, because myhandwriting is horrible.
But I cannot write or sing verywell.
But I'm working on them.
Most people like to tease meabout my musical interests, like
music artists or differentmusic.
One of my unique mannerisms isthat I have a nice laid back
(18:35):
attitude.
My pet peeves are people whoare fake and people who don't
show or give respect that is due.
I plan to pursue a career inelectrical engineering,
recording engineering or acting,because I feel like that.
These are awesome careers thatI can be successful in.
Spoiler alert I did not doeither.
(18:56):
I didn't do any of those.
I did go to college.
I started college as anelectrical engineering major and
the math was not mathing and Idecided that was not going to be
my you know my forte.
So I switched it to businessand then also I was going to go
(19:20):
to.
After I graduated college Istarted to have interest in this
school called Full Sail, whichis in Florida, right outside of
where Disney World is sale,which is in Florida, right
outside of where Disney World is.
I think it's Winter Park,florida, and actually it's a
really notable school.
A lot of people that work onDisney movies and stuff went
(19:41):
there and got their degrees andstuff to work on the animation
or the production or whatever.
It's a big time thing.
I applied to go there.
I got invited to come out totour the school, went out there,
um, I wanted to go forrecording engineering shocking
right and um, I don't know whydid I not go.
(20:02):
I ended up I don't remember itmight've been cause I couldn't
afford it, cause my mom was notgoing to.
They weren't going to pay forany more school for me once I
graduated, um, and I hadactually my by the time my
junior year rolled around.
I was not.
They weren't paying for schoolfor me.
I had, um, enough scholarshipsand I had become an in-state
(20:28):
student.
So with my scholarships andwork, study and stuff like that,
I actually was paying forschool and they didn't owe
anything outside of that Likethey were done, other than my
school loans or whatever.
But I still had that that.
I wanted to try to do it, but Ijust didn't end up doing it.
But that's pretty cool to lookback to see.
(20:48):
I didn't realize that I wantedto be an actor or actress, but
yeah, that's pretty cool to lookback to see.
I didn't realize that I wantedto be an actor or actress, but
yeah, that's pretty cool to lookback.
Anyway, my strongest charactertrait is the ability to stay
determined and not let anybodychange my mind.
I admire Rosa Parks because shewas determined to fight for
what she thought was right.
My biggest fear is not beingable to achieve any goals I have
(21:11):
set for myself.
That's pretty.
That's pretty accurate.
My eyes are brown like iced tea.
My hair is dark.
My eyes are dark brown likeiced tea.
My hair is dark brown likecherry, oak, wood, what?
My skin is brown like sand.
I can compare myself to a VCR,because if anyone missed
(21:35):
anything on TV, they could askme and I could give them a
playback.
I am most like a fly, becauseI'm always bugging somebody.
I would describe my walk asdifferent.
I don't know why they askedabout our walk, but okay, I
would describe my walk asdifferent but normal.
What If I would create anickname for myself?
(21:57):
I would call myself Crazy Jaybecause everyone calls me crazy.
Everyone did call me crazy, notcrazy in a bad way.
They'd be like girl, you're socrazy, that type of crazy.
And actually people did call meCrazy Jay.
Some people wrote that in myyearbook.
Most, most of the people thatcall me that was, I think I get
that name in like seventh oreighth grade.
(22:19):
Don't nobody call me that,please don't do that.
But um, that was like an old,old, old nickname, um, from back
in the day, um.
So the next, the next portionof this is a parody.
I wrote several of these.
Just growing up, I used to spendtime in my room trying to make
(22:40):
music, trying to write shortstories or books or whatever.
I like to write, I like to read, I like to make music, I like
to write music.
Those were some of my hobbiesand one of my favorite things to
do, which I got this from RussParr, the Russ Parr radio show.
I don't know if y'all know whoRuss Parr is, but when I was
(23:01):
growing up we listened to WGCI,which was a Chicago station.
Even though I'm from Michigan,I live very, very close to
Chicago and because we were verysmall town, we usually got
Chicago stations on TV and theChicago radio stations will come
through on the radio, and so,anyway, russ Parr would come on.
(23:23):
I want to say Saturdays.
We got Wendy Williams at acertain time and then it was
either before or after that.
Russ Parr and Alfreda's wouldcome on.
Alfreda's, every week she woulddo a parody song of whatever.
So she would take like apopular song like that's the way
love goes and I actually mightif I can find it and I keep
(23:47):
saying this, if I can find it,cause it's just in boxes in my
closet.
It's just a matter of me likegoing to dig through them If I
can find one of the parodiesthat she did.
I remember her doing one onthat's the way love goes.
I forget what the parody was,but she would do those every
week and so I became inspired.
So I would listen to songs andthen make parodies of them, kind
(24:07):
of like Weird Al Yankovic.
Young kids y'all don't evenknow who that is, but people my
age y'all know who that is.
He was a parody singer.
He took a lot of popular songsand also made them into parody.
So I became very inspired bythat.
So I did a parody of At yourBest, you Are Love, performed by
(24:32):
Aaliyah, written and remixed byyou know who, and I'm not going
to read it out of respect,because I was young y'all we
already know like the wholestory of Aaliyah and Robert, and
(24:52):
looking back at it now, thatwas not cool.
But as a young kid I don'tthink I really knew the
magnitude of what was going on.
So because of that I will notread this parody.
But those of you that are coolwith me, if y'all want to know
what the parody says, I will letyou know, but I'm not going to
(25:12):
read it because it's just, it'snot in good taste per se.
There's another piece that I amgoing to read that probably
isn't in the best taste, but Ifeel like it's a little lighter
than what I did for At your Best, but I did.
It is in there.
So the next one is therelationship.
(25:33):
So this is what I wrote.
So again, y'all disclaimer I amnot, in no way am I excusing or
making fun of domestic violence.
I was 15, 14, 16, somewherearound there Again, did not
really realize the magnitude ofthings.
(25:55):
So just take this as this is ayoung kid writing this back in
the early 90s.
Times have changed, okay.
So don't send me no angryfeedback or anything like that,
just go with it.
I just want y'all to see kindof how my mind was working back
then.
All right, the relationship byme.
(26:18):
There is this female by the nameof Lisa.
She burned her man's house upbecause he just couldn't please
her.
She slapped him in the face, hepunched her in the eye.
She also cussed him out.
Then she began to cry.
All this happened because hecame home too late.
(26:40):
When he came home, she didn'thesitate to tell him how she
felt.
You know what was up.
But to her misfortune, some morebad luck.
She couldn't control him.
He went into rage and probablyhit her as many times as her age
.
Y'all, please, I'm sorry, justgo with it.
(27:02):
He stormed out of the house fora 20 mile walk.
What is going on is what shethought.
So she pulled herself togetherand tried to let it ride, but
with the bruises and pain shecouldn't let it slide.
So she took some matches andburnable things, started a fire.
(27:25):
Quick, nice and clean.
It didn't take long before itstarted to blaze.
The smoke came out like a thickblack haze.
She gathered her things andwent on her way, thinking to
herself he won't forget this day.
(27:46):
She went outside to watch it awhile.
On her face was a mysterioussmile.
But she was not satisfied.
Oh no, not by far.
So she went and vandalized hisexpensive cars.
By this time she felt she wasdone and got in her bins and
(28:07):
went on the run bins and went onthe run.
Where she went then and whatshe did after, no one knows, but
it filled me with laughter, see, because when Andre came back
he thought he was jamming, butwhen he saw the house, his heart
he was grabbing.
The house was totally burned,nothing more, nothing less.
(28:31):
Left Eye turned herself in.
Andre became homeless.
They were both on the newsevery hour all the time.
Andre told the press thatsomething was wrong with Left
Eye's mind.
It didn't take long beforeLefty was released.
She volunteered for AA so someof her pain could be eased.
(28:52):
Now she's back with her groupand a new album and video are
out.
She's trying to leave hertroubles behind, but they always
seem to come about.
Meanwhile Andre is getting intothe music business himself and
the outcome looks shady.
I hope they both go on withtheir lives and work something
out, because this relationshipis crazy.
(29:18):
So that was the relationship byme written, obviously, about the
situation with Lisa and Andre.
And again, I understand thatthere was some domestic violence
going on.
I was a teenager, didn't reallyget the magnitude of what's
(29:42):
going on, so if anyone wastriggered by that I do apologize
.
But again, this is the 90s, Iwas a kid.
But I have to say, outside ofthat, y'all have to give it to
me, like I this, like the poem,the creativity, like I wrote all
this by myself, so I have togive myself some snaps for that.
(30:06):
So now the self assessment, itsays I think this was just why I
did this, or whatever it says,the occasion of my self-portrait
is to allow other people toknow more about me.
I didn't use any particularprocess to write my
self-portrait.
I learned that I can see myselfin a different way.
I like the self-portraitbecause it gives you a chance to
(30:27):
describe yourself the way yousee yourself.
Okay, I selected this piecebecause it is you a chance to
describe yourself the way yousee yourself.
Okay, I selected this piecebecause it is a good opportunity
to let others know about you.
The reason I chose to do At yourBest for my parody is to make
people laugh and bring them upon a certain event.
I wrote a song with the firstand third lines rhyming.
(30:48):
I learned that I can turn anyevent into a song and make it
sound just like the song itself.
I liked writing my parodybecause it allowed me to use my
mind in a fun way.
I selected this piece because Ifeel that it shows some of my
writing skills.
The reason I decided to do therelationship was to inform
people of a strong feelingwithin myself in a comical way.
(31:10):
I wrote this piece in poetryform.
I learned that when you have astrong feeling of something,
it's easy to put into words.
I selected this piece becauseit was my favorite piece of
writing that I wrote myselfcompletely from scratch.
I like this piece because itmakes me feel good to be able to
look at other people reading mywork and enjoying it also.
(31:33):
So that was it.
That was it of that, and thenthe rest of this is just some
certificates.
So I see that I was awardedthis doesn't say what year, but
it had to be seventh or eighthgrade.
I was awarded a scholarship tostudy at Michigan Tech, which
(31:55):
was a technical school thattaught you I think it was like
engineering, because I waswanting to be an engineer back
then.
So it was like robotics orsomething like that.
Have an award.
Oh, this is.
This is freshman year of highschool.
I was awarded a certificate formy badminton tournament that I
(32:16):
got second place in me and myfriend Tonette.
Shout out to Tonette we gotsecond place in the badminton
tournament.
Y'all don't want to see me onon on badminton.
Y'all want to see me?
Um, I also got an award forschool service.
What, and that was before highschool, I don't know what that
(32:38):
was for.
Okay, I have another award here, for.
This is to certify that I havemaintained an exceptional
standard of scholarship and hasduly earned this honor academic
achievement.
It must've been like my gradesor whatever, for seventh grade.
Here's another one for myschool.
(33:00):
My junior high was calledMcCord Renaissance Center.
I went to Stern Brunson forkindergarten through first
second grade, which is no longera school.
Then I went to Gifted andTalented Academy for the gifted
and the talented for until sixthgrade and I went to McCord
(33:21):
seventh and eighth grade andthen I went to just our regular
high school.
We only had one, and from asmall town for high school,
anyway.
So this says this is my diploma.
Hereby, let it be known, uponthe recommendation of faculty of
McCord Renaissance Center, aneighth grade diploma has been
conferred upon me in recognitionof the satisfactory completion
(33:44):
of the academic requirements ofthe Benton Harbor Area High
School Board of Education.
Blah blah, blah, blah blah.
Then I also have an honor rollcertificate for the first
semester, I wanna say, of eighthgrade.
I have another certificate.
This is a scholarship that Iwas awarded in junior high to
(34:05):
study at Dance Arts Academy.
I used to dance, dance like tapdance.
Well, I got, I got thescholarship for tap to go to the
Dance Art Academy to learn tap,for I think it was two years.
I did that in the summer, so Itook dance during school and in
the summertime I would go todance dance art and take a tap.
(34:29):
So I danced for, I mean, twoyears and some change total, but
it was like two full years,because I took two semesters of
it in school and then I took itduring the summer for both years
or whatever.
So that was cool.
Then I have let me see this ismy National Junior Honor Society
(34:49):
certificate the Hazel Maychapter and my little card.
I also got an honorable mentionfor mathematics and science had
to be for science because itcouldn't have been for
mathematics.
Then okay, here we go.
Then here is a report card thatI got.
This was 10th grade, 10th grade,the first semester of 10th
(35:15):
grade.
So on one side they have thecourse description, then they
have the teacher and it is howmany credits you get per class,
and then it has on the otherside the grade and then it has a
spot for comments and then aspot for absences.
So let's see, let's see whatwas popping with me in the 10th
(35:38):
grade, first semester.
So I had honors English, 10thgrade English with Miss Chambers
I got a B.
Spanish one.
With Mr Ollers I got a BSpanish one.
With Mr Ollers I got an A.
(35:59):
Multicultural history with MsChurchwell I got an A.
Algebra three with Mr Woods Igot a B.
Honors biology I don't rememberthis name, ms Chenault's, I
know it was a lady, I think Igot a C and in computer
literature, ms Sunblad, I got aB minus.
(36:19):
So my GPA that semester was a3.5.
A 3.5.
And let's see what these someof the.
They left some comments.
So under honors English that Igot to be in the comment is a
number one, and number one saysshould ask for extra help.
(36:43):
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
I did struggle in English withwriting.
Although I really liked towrite it was I don't know I
found it hard to like get outwhat I wanted to say and make it
make sense and like have allthe right punctuation and all
that other stuff.
So I struggled in that, eventhough I had a B, it wasn't
(37:05):
until I got with two of myteachers, miss Holmes and Miss
Richburg, that they actuallytook the time with me after
school.
I would stay after school andthey would literally like tutor
me and just like help me write.
They would make me like write abunch of different things.
I had like extra homework everyday to try to get me you know
(37:26):
good at, you know writing andunderstanding all that stuff.
Anyway, they did great.
Shout out to Miss Richburg andMiss Holmes.
Um, so yeah, needed extra help.
Spanish one alers.
I got an A right.
When you look at thecommunication, though cause I
did not go to that class, itsays zero.
(37:47):
Often absent or tardy is thecomment.
I literally did not go to thatclass.
I don't even know how I got anA.
I was very, very charming inhigh school.
For the most part I did my work, but like Spanish, I'm not.
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do, mrAllers?
I would show up, pass the testand then I would leave class.
(38:10):
I would go find something elseto do A lot of times I would ask
him we had like a viewing roomacross the hall from his class,
like where you would go to watchfilm or whatever.
For you know, special classescan go in there and watch film.
I would go in there, I wouldbring my VHS tapes of whatever I
(38:32):
recorded, like Martin or InLiving Color or like Living
Single or something, and I wouldplay those in there and I would
get other students to come overand then we would just spend
the whole class watching it inthere and not not being in class
.
So, yeah, that explains theoften absent or tardy.
But then under absence hedoesn't have anything.
(38:55):
So I don't know if I was justabsent or just not, like if I
showed up and left, thatprobably didn't count as an
absent.
I don't know if I was justabsent or just not, like.
If I showed up and left, thatprobably didn't count as an
absent?
I don't know, but I do know Iwas not in that class.
Very much the multiculturalhistory of Ms Churchwell, even
though I had an A in that classas well.
She also put down that I wasoften absent or tardy and I had
(39:17):
one absence.
She put down often absent ortardy and I had one absence.
She put down.
So it had to be tardy.
And again, I'm a good kid.
But also, if my friends are, wehad three stories in our school
If my friends are on the firstfloor, I'm going to be on the
first floor with them and thenwhen the bell rings I'm going to
sprint up all those flights ofstairs to get to my class that's
(39:41):
on the third floor and yeah,I'm probably going to be late.
And we had this thing like ifyou were late, like if you were
in the hallway you didn't have apass, you would automatically
go to the principal, you wouldget written up, you would get
what they call a demerit orsomething like that.
You would get written up andhave to go to principal's office
.
So I found a way to like I knewit really wasn't like security
(40:01):
guards, because we had securityguards in our school.
It really wasn't like securitywas going to be upstairs too
much on the third floor becausenobody really was up there Like
the teachers that had thatupstairs classrooms, the third
floor classrooms.
It was nobody up there, likeeverybody hung out on the first
or second floor.
Anyway, I didn't get caught.
(40:22):
I never got under married.
I never got in trouble forbeing late, but I definitely was
late a lot.
Um, algebra three that I got theB in, of course, the cat, the
uh comment is should ask forextra help, cause I definitely
needed that in honors biologythat I got to see the same thing
(40:43):
.
I should ask for extra help.
And I feel like in this classthis class was on the third
floor I think I remember this.
I don't know if kids still dothis, but this was back in the
day where you would get a likean animal and have to dissect
(41:04):
like a real animal.
So we had we had a fetal pigone time and then we had a frog
another time Like literally, youhave to cut this frog.
I would never be able to dothat today, but for whatever
reason, I was into it in the10th grade.
We cut that thing open and youhad to, like tell the different
parts of the anatomy, like theheart or the lungs or the
(41:26):
intestine, whatever, right.
I remember making my frog intoleft eye, so I made like a
little paper condom thing to putover the eye and then I made
him a hat and some boots.
This is what I was doing toclass.
This is why I got a C.
This is why I got a C Okay,computer lit.
(41:51):
I got a B minus and I got anine for the comment the nine
says lacks concentration inclass.
I don't even remember if I wentto that class, so it probably
that's probably right.
And then I have a little piecehere of letters.
So back in the day when we hadthe magazines Word Up Fresh you
(42:14):
know the white kids had theTiger Beats and Team Beat or
whatever it was called we hadfresh write on word up stuff
like that.
So I used to write letters likesnail mail letters to these
magazines and hoping in hopes ofgetting my stuff in the
magazine.
And I did.
And I actually posted this onon Twitter a while back when I
(42:35):
first found this book.
But I'm going to read you thetwo letters that I have in here
that were published in FreshMagazine.
So the first one says Baby PicsP-I-X.
It says I have a suggestion forFresh.
How about having an issue withbaby pics of all the hot stars
such as TLC, boyz II, men,jodeci, etc.
(42:55):
Their fans would love to seehow they looked back.
Then Go ahead and do it.
You won't be sorry, and I thinkthey did end up doing an issue
of that.
I don't remember if they did ordidn't, but yeah.
The second one is called FemalesComing Up.
I don't know why I like to usethis females word, but that was
(43:15):
my jam Females Coming Up.
I just like to give mad propsmad with two Ds props to all the
new female artists out there,like Da Brat, sista, lady of
Rage, entice and Simply E.
They are doing a great job ofmaking noise in the nine four
and I say it nine four, lettingfolks know that this is a year
(43:40):
for females to come up.
Thanks to all of you forcontinuing to let the sisters be
heard, stay real and keep upthe good work Signed by me.
Oh man, I can't believe I evenhad that in there.
The rest of this is just likesome of my work I guess I had to
(44:03):
put in here like stuff that Igot.
I wrote a paper on a greenhouseeffect, got an A on that.
This is my.
Is this Spanish?
No, this is something else.
Whatever it is, I got an A onit.
Pre-calculus I got an A on it.
That's probably my only A,because me and math don't go
together.
And then I had a list of booksand magazine articles that I had
(44:28):
read.
Books I know why the caged birdsings, the old man in the sea
that was definitely for school.
Romeo and Juliet was for school.
Julius Caesar was for school.
Durango Street I think I readthat on my own.
The 101 Dalmatians I read thaton my own.
And Fat man from Space I readthat on my own.
(44:48):
I don't remember what that wasabout.
It was a sci-fi book, though.
I used to spend weekends at thelibrary, y'all.
I was such a a.
I was a borderline kind of nerdlike my.
My best friends were popular,um, but my mama wasn't having
too much of like doing popularstuff, so you had to be in in
(45:09):
the books.
So, um, to keep myself out oftrouble, I just read a lot of
books and then I would love togo to the library to go check
out books and see what was newand things like that.
As I was growing up, like bythe time I got into high school
I was still reading, but notlike I was when I was like in
elementary and junior high.
But anyway, magazine articlesEbony Tony Braxton talks about
(45:33):
men, sudden stardom and undyingand the undying rumor.
Fresh Snoop, murder pays off.
Fresh TLC love them or leavethem.
The best of R&B the brat, no,posing no pretense.
Black Beat, aaliyah, thesuccess and the controversy, yo
(45:55):
Trouble Stalks the Stars.
And then Ebony, again, batteredwomen how to get and Give Help,
yeah, fresh, the Best ofRapping.
R&b.
Black Beat, yo, word Up.
All those were magazines backin the day.
And then I think last in here, Igot a certificate from my
church for a scholarship.
(46:16):
They gave me a scholarship um,partial scholarship for college.
And then I have my welcome toPV and AM, a&m university um
completion of general studies asa freshman um certificate there
.
So yeah, I think that's it,that's in here.
So it's very interesting.
(46:37):
I know it was kind of like arandom thing to have an episode
about, but I thought it waspretty dope to kind of look back
and as I'm looking I seeanother picture of this.
Was this was my 30th birthday.
A friend of mine made me acollage and, oh my God, I am so
(46:58):
drunk in all these pictures.
Why did they do that to me?
Oh, but yeah, I thought it wascool to look back, seeing that
thing like just what I wanted tobe when I was growing up and
the fact that I had a fear, or Isay my biggest fear is not
(47:20):
being able to accomplish mygoals.
It's pretty cool to be able tolook back and say that you know,
it's not, it's OK to try andmaybe not make those things.
Your life pivots as you getolder and what you think may
happen when you're a childdoesn't necessarily always
happen as an adult.
But I can look back and see thatI was super creative, my mind
(47:43):
was very expansive, I was smartand, yeah, I knew.
I knew I wanted to do somethingin entertainment and I keep
going back to that, the factthat I have a podcast, the fact
that I'm doing YouTube videosnow and stuff like that, like
having people having an audienceand stuff, really kind of full
circle moment to, when I seestuff like that, because maybe
(48:06):
I'm not a recording recordingengineer, but I know how to
produce a podcast.
I know how to edit video.
I know I know how to create ashow, something similar.
I'm not an electricalengineering, I'm not an engineer
.
I'm not an electricalengineering, I'm not an engineer
.
But I learned things along theway that I can still pull some
(48:27):
stuff apart.
I used to fix VCRs back in theday and I know how to break
apart my remote and see if I canget that to work.
I did a lot of that.
That's the reason why I wantedto be an engineer.
Because my mom was like girl,break one more thing open in
here.
Like no, we're not doing that,put that, put it back together
and go sit down somewhere.
Cause I spent a lot of timebreaking stuff apart, trying to
(48:48):
like see how it works and see ifI can get it back together.
She was like you need to go toschool for that and leave my
stuff alone.
But it, that didn't, thatdidn't happen.
But you know, life, life belife and things happen and I
think the biggest thing is justallowing the pivot to happen.
And you know, do the best withwhat you got.
(49:15):
Not, I'm not at all like sad orI don't feel.
I don't feel any way, for youknow, looking back at this, you
know, sometimes people look atthings and they're like, man, I
really didn't make it, I reallydidn't do what I wanted to do.
You know what happened andthere was a certain point in my
life probably about 10 years ago, 10, 15 years ago where I I did
(49:38):
feel like that.
But as I'm getting older, Irealized the value of like just
being alive and just survivingand, you know, accepting and
celebrating the small things.
And what's small to you isactually big to other people.
You know I'm saying the factthat I'm independent, I have my
(50:02):
own house, that I pay for my car, my, you know, a job, and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And some people look at me fromback home and be like, oh,
you're so successful, you haveall this stuff or whatever you
know.
So I think it's all aboutperception and if you look at it
in a positive way not to saythat we can't always grow and
(50:22):
learn and keep pushing and keepstriving to be better but if you
, if I, look at where I camefrom and look at all the things
that I've been through, I feelthat I'm successful and I feel
like the young girl that wrotethis stuff, the young girl that
had those dreams.
I think I think she'd be.
I think she'd be proud of me.
Now she might be mad becauseyou know I'm, I didn't get to
(50:45):
work for Video Soul and I didn'tget a job at BET Maybe.
Maybe a little disappointedthat I wasn't one of the head
writers of Word Up magazine.
But outside of that, I think Ithink the the young, the young
Jay would be would think I'mpretty cool.
So anyway, that's all I havefor this episode.
(51:07):
I thank y'all for listening tomy random episode of my
portfolio.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Um and uh, I'll talk to y'all.
Talk to y'all later.
Peace out.
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