September 4, 2025 • 27 mins
What if the thoughts in your head aren't telling you the truth? What if freedom from suicidal thinking is actually possible? Jessica G's powerful journey from thirteen years of suicidal ideation to complete freedom will challenge everything you thought you knew about mental health recovery.
After losing both her father and brother to suicide within a single month, Jessica found herself spiraling into a darkness she had battled since age 13. Despite trying medications, therapy, and even inpatient treatment, nothing seemed to break the cycle of suicidal ideation—until friends introduced her to the concept of neuroplasticity and brain rewiring.
This raw, vulnerable conversation with guest Jennifer Joy explores how our thoughts create our feelings, which drive our choices, creating a loop that can either destroy or heal us. Jessica shares the specific techniques that helped her consciously create new thought patterns, even when her body was still in "survival mode." She explains how it took about 90 days of consistent practice before her brain began to rewire itself, ultimately freeing her from suicidal ideation completely.
What makes this episode particularly powerful is Jessica's honesty about the invisible nature of mental health struggles. As Jen points out, when they first met at a piano bar, Jessica appeared vibrant and charismatic—no one would have guessed she was carrying such profound pain. This reality underscores why kindness matters; you never know who might be holding on by a thread.
The conversation culminates in Jessica's vision for Just In Time to Save a Life, a nonprofit dedicated to making neuroplasticity-based suicide prevention accessible to everyone. If you're struggling right now or know someone who is, this episode offers more than just hope—it provides a roadmap for lasting transformation. Remember: your brain can change, so can your story.
If you are in an crisis or feel unsafe, call or text 988 or dial 911 for immediate support. There are people out there who will listen and can help.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Jessica G and this is the Just In Time
podcast.
If you're struggling today, Iwant you to know this podcast is
here for you, but it's not asubstitute for professional help
.
If you're in a crisis orfeeling unsafe, please call or
text 988 or dial 911 forimmediate support.
There are people out there whowill listen and can help.
On this show, I'll be sharingpersonal experiences, mindset
(00:22):
shifts, talking with key expertsand sharing real tools that
help me go from barely survivingto thriving.
This is not about quick fixes orone-size-fits-all advice.
It's raw, it's honest, it'swhat worked for me and what I
believe can help others too.
Let's walk together fromdarkness to hope.
All right, welcome everybody.
My name is It'll be just intime to save a life, going to be
(00:46):
sharing my personal story, andI want you guys to know that it
is taking me many years to getto this point in order to be in
(01:11):
a position to share this story.
So if I tear up or cry or taketoo many pauses, I apologize
ahead of time.
And today I have with me Ms JenJoy.
She's been a huge support in mylife.
She's also a board member onthe nonprofit, she has four
beautiful girls and she runs ahuge corporation.
(01:35):
She is a CEO of CCRS.
Jen has worked with how manyemployees?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
do you have, Jen?
We have 800 actively onprojects now, but we have up to
8,000 that are all benefitingfrom your program and what you
started.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Thank you, jen.
She's been just a big supportfor Just In Time and she really
understands the mission and Ihave seen her work with her
employees and I know mentalhealth is really important to
you and the programs and thestructures that you've built
within your company and thatyou've shared with me and others
is life changing.
So I'm just happy to have youhere, so happy to be here.
(02:14):
Yes, and for all the listeners,you guys, this is the first
podcast, exciting, yes, it'svery exciting.
Um, so let's just dive into it.
Um, let's, let's just, let'sjust get into it.
Um, so, uh, this podcast iscalled from darkness to hope,
and that is the name of theprogram that the non-profit,
(02:38):
just in time to save a life, um,wants to create.
So so I'm going to get into alittle bit of why I started Just
In Time and what we've done sofar, where we're going and what
our big goal is.
I opened this nonprofit becauseI found my own way out of
(03:01):
darkness From the age of 13,.
I struggled with suicidalthoughts, suicide ideation, and
that really didn't stop until Iwas about 24.
And I remember making aconscious decision okay, if I'm
not going to do this, then I'mgoing to try to make my life the
(03:24):
best that I could See.
About eight years ago I lost mydad death by suicide.
A month later, I lost mybrother.
His name was Justin HenceJustin time to save a life.
And all of that came back.
Life and all of that came backand I was struggling.
(03:55):
I could not overcome myfeelings and the pain that that
caused For suicide survivors.
You know what I'm talking about.
It creates a ripple-like effectand I'm even like shaking right
now talking about it becauseit's such a heavy topic and even
though I've overcome suicideideation which I'm about to get
(04:16):
into the how the grief willalways be there, like that.
That's something that you know.
I don't and at least in myhealing journey, that hasn't,
you know, gone away right.
It'll just hit you out ofnowhere when you're sharing your
message, and I think that's whyit took me so long to get to
this point.
(04:37):
But I have a message inside ofme that I know that I'm supposed
to share with the world,because that person that was
struggling, or the person outthere that's struggling like
that, was me, and I wish thatsomebody would have told me
sooner what I know now, and Iowe Karsten and Diego, two of my
(04:57):
spiritual friends um, a huge,huge, heartfelt thanks, because
they are the ones thatintroduced me to Dr Joe
Dispenza's work and he talks alot about harnessing
neuroplasticity to fight suicide.
And, um, I had gone through, um,you know, the healthcare system
(05:20):
and I got a medications and Iwent to counseling and I even
checked myself into places and Ijust was struggling.
I was in so much pain and Iknew what my dad, my brother,
did wasn't right.
I know suicide is is not theway it's.
It's it is preventable.
Um, and I knew it wasn't theway, but I was in so much pain
(05:41):
and I could not, like kind ofovercome it at the time.
And it's because I was hardwired, I was in survival mode and it
wasn't until my friends was likeJess, you need to rewire your
brain.
And I'm like, what are youtalking about?
Like now, of course, I want tomake this clear If you are in a
crisis or you're struggling,please don't tell somebody to
(06:03):
rewire their brain.
Like, if they're in an activecrisis, right, like that's
probably not going to work.
When they're in a calm state orafter they've gotten to a place
of safety, then that's the timethat you can, you know, really
talk about this.
And that's the other thing too.
That's really scary, jen.
It's like to talk about mentalhealth, because we don't want to
(06:23):
say the wrong thing.
Right, you know right.
I mean it's it's a scary topicto talk about.
You don't want to cause moreharm and that's also why I
waited to talk about it.
It's like you know, we may havereally good intentions to share
our message or to share ourstory because we think we're
(06:44):
helping somebody, but it wasn'tuntil I got educated with AFSP
and I became a presenter forthem, and next week we're
actually going to haveJacqueline Sharp on our episode.
She's the area director forAFSP.
We're so excited.
She really helped me get to aplace where I could actually
(07:07):
speak about it with confidence,like here's the do's and don'ts,
and we're going to get intothat in the second episode,
which I think will also help alot of people too that know
others that are struggling.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
But to stay on topic, where was I Talking about how
you wanted to make sure that youwere saying all the right
things?
And I know all the work thatyou make sure that you were
saying all the right things andI know all the work that you put
into that and all the training,yes and yes, from TED Talks to,
like you mentioned, meetingAFCP and doing everything that
you need to do and in order tobe able to get to this point,
(07:41):
get to this point, speak aboutthis because you're so
passionate about it, yeah, andyou're so passionate about it,
yeah, and you care so deeply.
And one of the things thattouches me is to hear of your
journey and how long and hardyou've fought, not just to keep
your chin up, not just to putone foot in front of the other,
not just to wake up every dayand continue to search, but you
(08:09):
didn't give up and you've donethe hard work.
You took the journey, and thehard work meaning putting it
there to where now they can takeit and run with it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, absolutely Cause.
Yeah, it's hard from there.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right, oh yeah, but we are able to you're, you're
able to take what you learnedand make it available to
everyone yeah, because I wish,thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Thank you, because I was like I wish, um, that
somebody told me sooner that Ineeded to rewire my brain, right
, um, and that's exactly it, um,so, so, anyways, I was like you
know, um, talking to my friendsare like you need to rewire
your brain.
Dr Joe Dispenza, he has allthese workshops um, and I was
(08:47):
losing hope and I didn't knowwhat it meant to lose hope.
And to anyone that's strugglingout there or know somebody
that's struggling, if you startto lose hope, you know you're in
a bad place, because before Ididn't know what that meant.
I'm like you can hope for this,you can hope for that, but I
was losing hope, like I couldnot find a way out after trying
(09:07):
all these different things, andI'm not I'm not saying like it
wasn't a good idea to get onmedication, it wasn't a good
idea to go, because I think thatyou know, um, all of the
modalities helped me get to thispoint, and I think those
modalities, like takingmedication and going to seeing a
doctor and getting all the help, helped me get to the point in
which I got to today.
However, on that journey, Iwish somebody would have came
(09:28):
and said to me you need torewire your brain, and this is
how you can do it.
And there is no program outthere that I know of that
harnesses neuroplasticity tofight suicide specifically, and
that is the main goal of Just InTime to Save a Life, and so I
am looking for key experts tohelp me along the way and help
(09:49):
that journey.
I just know that I have amission in my heart and this is
what I'm supposed to do, eventhough I'm scared to do it.
I'm putting one foot in frontof the other and, um, and so
that's where we're at.
So, so, okay, I need tocontinue on with the story.
Um, so, anyways, um, so that'swhere I was told I need to
(10:10):
rewire my brain.
Okay, I.
So I was losing hope, needed torewire my brain, and I'm like
my friends believed in this,like so passionately, and I knew
they're the kind of peoplethey're very intelligent,
successful, beautiful humanbeings that care about you, know
your soul and other people, andso I was like, well, if, what
(10:33):
they're saying, if they reallybelieve in it, I'm shoot, I'm
going to give it a chance,because I was literally losing
hope.
So the dispenser program gaveme hope and I said, okay, I'm
going to give it.
This is my last shot.
Really, I was like the angel ofdeath was with me for like six
months.
I was not in a good place.
I was contemplating everysingle day, I was trying to just
(10:59):
make it through, like my bodywas in pain.
I was in pain, I was in whatDispenza would call survival
mode.
And what happens is you're inthis loop, right Cause how we
think is how we feel, and whenwe're feeling a certain way,
that creates choices.
Those choices createexperiences, those experiences
create emotions.
And then it's this whole loopand you can't.
(11:21):
It's, it's really really,really hard to get out of it.
You can't think greater thanhow you feel because you're,
you're lost, you know.
And when my friend explained itto me and he was like you need
to reprogram your brain, you'relike hardwired for depression.
You're like hardwired for um, adisaster.
Your, your future doesn't lookgood right now.
(11:42):
If you're gonna keep, if youkeep thinking this way, it
wasn't, yes, I was victimizedfrom losing my dad and brother
by suicide, but I don't.
I'm not the type of person likeI want to stay a victim to
something.
Right, like, yes, I was avictimized of it, but like I'm
like that's not me, that's notmy personality, right, I'm like
(12:03):
let's overcome this, let's go,let's get past this.
So it's like when people aresaying, oh, that's so selfish or
this is that, it's like, no,you just don't understand how
much pain these people are inand you think that the world
will be better without you.
But it's not true, becauseyou're believing lies.
Those are lies, they're lies,they're lies.
So what I had to do is I had toconsciously create my day, and I
(12:25):
had blankets on the windows.
I mean my little dog Romeo.
Thank God for him, because theonly reason why I even went
outside was to take him potty.
I mean, it was a very darkplace for many months, and I
know that there's other peopleout there that are in that
position and they need to hearthis, and that is why I'm here
(12:47):
today.
I know that there's otherpeople out there that are in
that position and they need tohear this, and that is why I'm
here today.
That's why we're here today tospread this awareness.
And so I remember I would notlet my feet hit the ground until
I told myself I was going tohave a good day, like I remember
my feet actually touching theground.
And I'll, because you'refighting your mind.
(13:08):
You're fighting your mind.
You have because you have torewire it, and in order to
reprogram and rewire, you haveto keep repeating it over and
over and over again.
Right, like absolutely somepeople are like they've mastered
suffering they are amazing atthat, right, and it's like oh my
gosh, I don't want to masterthis pain, I want to master this
suffering.
And so, you know, takingaccount and really looking at
(13:31):
your thoughts, what am Ithinking?
And like even jotting down,like five thoughts that you're
thinking on a daily basis thatare not healthy for you, and
then putting the positivemeaning to it, right, yeah, like
like realizing okay, I'mthinking this, you know, and I
(13:53):
should be thinking this.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
There's lots of modalities for that too.
I mean, one of the things thatreally helped me you mentioned
every morning getting out of bed, every night going to sleep I
would say I would write downwhat I needed to think about all
night long.
Yeah, put it down.
And then, before I would go tobed, I would just take a deep
breath and I would tap myfingers against the pillow and I
would do it five times and Iwould just keep doing it until I
(14:17):
would fall asleep, because mybiggest struggle was overnights
and waking up and havingthoughts and yeah, so that's one
of the things that I needed.
So what you're talking aboutreprogramming and teaching
yourself to think.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, and that's such a great thing to to bring up
like that's a coping mechanism,right.
So it's like in in the interim,right, like coping mechanisms
are amazing and they're greatand they help us get to who we
are now, right.
But it was like for me, um andI'm so glad you brought that up
for me, like when I was like soset in such a dark place, there
(14:57):
was all these coping mechanisms,right, and coping mechanisms
are great, don't get me wrong.
They're amazing, right, andthey helped you in that moment
and they helped me in thosemoments too.
But I was so close to the edge,jen, that I was like, oh my
gosh, like I don't want to livea life I'm just constantly
coping with.
I'm on this medication, I'm onthat medication, like I'm in
pain, I'm just coping.
You don't want a band-aid, youwant to.
(15:17):
Yeah, I needed in order for meto pay off, in order for me to
stay on this on this planet.
I was like I need somethinglike that's gonna feed my soul,
I need something that's like I'mnot just coping with life
anymore, I'm thriving, like tosay, like I am just over the
moon to say this and to be ableto truly say this.
(15:37):
I do not struggle with suicideideation any longer.
I never thought that that wouldhappen.
See, thinking about the everyday is so hard.
It's so, so hard.
And I kept it in for yearsbecause I don't want to look
like the crazy one because ofthe stigma.
And I think the same thing formy brother and we're going to
we'll get into that in otherepisodes too.
And my dad, you know, he was 56year old, white man.
(15:59):
I mean, if you look up thestatistics on that, it's just
because men are supposed to betough and not talk about their
feelings.
The programming again.
The programming exactly.
So reprogramming your brain isso important.
So for anyone out there that ifyou're struggling, I challenge
you to look at your thoughts.
(16:20):
How you think is how you feel.
And if you're feeling suicidal,it's because we're thinking a
certain way.
And if you can how do I saythis?
If you can master your thoughtsor master your mind, even just
five thoughts, that's huge.
That's going to start because,like when I told myself, okay,
(16:42):
I'm going to have a great day,fake it till you make it.
I was like I do not feel likeI'm having a great day.
I just lost my dad death bysuicide.
I just lost my brother death bysuicide.
Like how am I supposed to smile, smile and say I'm going to
have a great day?
How is that possible?
How is that possible?
I felt guilty for smiling.
Actually, right, I was like Ishouldn't be smiling right now,
you know.
But I had to overcome that andso, even if I didn't believe it,
(17:05):
pick it till you make it right,like I'm going to have a great
day.
I'm having a great day, andthat's that's where I had to
start and and it took me, andthis is why I say this is not a
quick fix Like this is somethingthat you have to repeat and
keep putting work in.
This isn't a medication, thisisn't, you know, along with
(17:25):
medication, maybe, or along withwhatever you know, your
healthcare provider, whatever itsays, because for every person,
I believe you have to find whatworks for each individual,
because we're we're all sounique.
But for me, it took about 90days, I would say 90 days, and I
did Dr Joe dispenses intensiveand progressive workshop, and
(17:47):
then I flew to Germany, I didhis advanced workshop and I'm
going to tell you it coststhousands of dollars to fly to
Germany, do that advancedworkshop and all that, and at
the end of it at the end of itwe did this mind movie and um it
was.
It was just an amazingexperience for me and hopefully,
maybe one day I can get Dr JoeDispenza on the show.
(18:08):
How amazing would that be.
That would be amazing.
That would be so amazing.
I did do an interview for him.
Actually.
I wanted the advanced workshopsand it's really hard for me to
watch, actually, because my bodywas still in survival mode.
So your body will still stay insurvival mode for a while until
it catches up with the mind.
(18:29):
It's interesting how that worksand we'll get more into that,
but today I just wanted to, youknow, touch on how we think is
how we feel.
So, anyways, I was like, oh mygosh, the first thing that I
wanted to do Jen, you're gonnalove this, because I know your
heart I wanted to go back to themental institution that I was
in and tell all the girls inthere that had suicide attempts,
(18:52):
wanted to tell them hey, youguys, you just need to reprogram
your brain.
It really works.
I swear to you like there's away out.
You don't have to like live alife you're constantly coping
with, like there's hope for you,there's hope for us.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
That was the first thing that Iwanted to do is to tell all
those girls what I mean.
(19:13):
That was the first thing that Iwanted to do is to tell all
those girls, because I met a 65year old lady, um, that
attempted suicide and oh, like,just it breaks my heart thinking
about that.
And I remember when the family,you know, there's like
visitation day and they come tosee you and how devastated her
children were.
You know, know, and I know thatI'm not the only one that's
(19:36):
struggling.
You know, and I know that, um,you know, if you, if you look at
Robin Williams, he had all themoney and all the resources in
the world and still you knowwhat I mean and still and still.
But for people that don't haveresources and don't have the
money to go to the program orlet alone, maybe Robin Williams
(20:00):
needed to hear this.
I don't know, I don't know, wedon't know, we don't know.
But what I do know is that fromthe age of 13, I struggled with
suicide ideation and I nolonger do that anymore, and it's
because I rewired and reprogrammy brain and I don't take
medications today, you know so,and you're going to be talking
(20:20):
about everything that youlearned on this podcast yeah, so
that people don't have to flyto Germany.
Yeah, that and that, yes,absolutely and that, and then
eventually like, create, like,and this is why I want to, you
know, get to spend.
I mean, my dream was to get tospend there, get key experts or
psychiatrists and people,because neuroscience is out
there, it is, it's out there,it's growing, it's out there,
(20:42):
but there's nothing that's freeand accessible to everyone, and
so that is that's.
That's been the true mission.
From the beginning, I was likethere should be this, because I
sent thousands of dollars and Iknow that those, some of those-
um girls and women that I met.
They barely had money to put gasin their tank, like, let alone,
you know, buy a ticket to go toadvanced workshop or do an
(21:08):
intensive or progressiveworkshop online even you, you
know.
And so I wanted somethingdesigned specifically for those
that were struggling with that.
And you know, I'm going todream big here and maybe that
can be in mental health careproviders' offices, like
(21:28):
throughout the world, like maybethat's something that can
happen one day Absolutely.
But all I know is I'm not anexpert in this.
I'm just here to share, like,what worked for me and I care so
much about people that arestruggling because suicide is
preventable, so that's a lotright.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You're doing amazing.
So you.
When I first met you, Iremember it was at a piano bar.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
That's right.
Oh my gosh, you know what?
That was probably a year afterI had lost my dad and brother.
Actually, yeah, that wasprobably 2018.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
And this is, I think, one of the things that is that
I've heard you say is reallyimportant to you too.
It's identifying andunderstanding that you don't
always know, you don't alwayssee someone and see that they
have the pain, that they arestruggling, right, that they are
struggling.
And when I saw you, that firsttime dynamic, you were that girl
(22:38):
.
You ruled the room, you walkedin with just you had this, you
had this presence about you andit was steel and it was sparkle.
At the same time, it was powerand it was love and it was
happiness and joy and you madesuch an impression on me, going
(22:58):
through a difficult time in mylife at the time, just in that
brief encounter in the bathroom,in the bathroom at the piano
bar?
Oh my gosh, yeah when you wereso incredibly charismatic,
dynamic, and you made everybodyin the room feel like they were
10 feet tall.
Just talk to them.
And you and you made everybodyin the room feel like they were
10 feet tall.
Just talk to them, and you,just you made everybody feel 10
feet tall.
And so to know now that youwere carrying those scars and
(23:23):
you were going through what youwere going through yeah, and I
had no idea at the time.
And both are authentic, bothare real, both are beautiful,
both are authentic, both arereal, both are beautiful.
And and to know, though, thatthat woman that I saw that day
was going through the thingsyou're talking about right now,
um, it's, uh, you know it's it.
(23:43):
It it shattered me.
It's been in a good way, in agood way, in a good way, to
where I was able to, to see myworld in a way that I needed to
see it.
Um, because you get focused ona lot of times, people do with
your own pain or whatever you'regoing through.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And I think that that day, in the bathroom, I think
we mirrored each other.
Yes, you know, we were like amirror and absolutely it was so
crazy how we met, re met again,yes, randomly, and I was like I
remember you from the bathroomand I was like, oh my gosh, so
um.
But yeah, I mean that just goesto show.
It's like Robin Williams, right, he was so funny.
(24:19):
Who would have thought, yeah,you know, my brother, justin, oh
my gosh, love to make peoplelaugh.
You know, he, just he was thatkid, that just like, like if he
saw an old lady, you know,exiting, he would just run up
and open the door for her realquick and like, help her, put
her groceries in the car.
Like that was Justin, like hewas such a bright light.
(24:39):
And you know, suicide amongstcollege students it's the second
leading cause of death in theUnited States.
And, um, I really, really,really want to speak to college
students and I have um more, youknow, just because that's dear
to my heart.
But you know his fraternity,sigma Pi.
(25:02):
His pledge was suicideprevention.
So that's why I think suicideeducation and prevention is so
important and giving people thetools and the resources in order
to do that and that's also why,like you know, being kind, like
you said, you don't, you neverknow what somebody's going
through.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I don't know, you just don't know, you don't know
so and your smile or your words,um, could make a huge
difference.
It could be part of the shiftthat you're talking about, you
know.
I mean, even though there mightnot be a curriculum that's
readily available.
Yeah, I don't think peoplerealize that their words and
(25:46):
their actions can actually startthat rewiring process.
They might not even realizewhen we're going about the world
, we identify with and hold onto things that are comfortable
to us.
Yeah, so if someone has said tous, um, uh, something that's
really hurt our hearts or madeus feel bad, especially
especially in like a, a very, um, a very, uh, I guess, delicate
(26:07):
moment, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
When you're vulnerable or where you're
already down, that could be thefinal straw for somebody.
You know what I'm saying,because because you know,
sometimes we're fragile yes,Sometimes we're fragile.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, and to understand that.
You know people are looking forthose identifiers and if you
give them something different,that that makes them stop, it
makes them take pause.
Yeah, and that could besomething that they hold on to.
We change the wording andemails that we send out through
the company just to build peopleup and our slogan is you are
(26:42):
excellence.
Yes, and there's a reason forthat.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You're speaking it into their life.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
That's it, right, that's it, and you have to speak
it into their life.
You have to speak it into theirlife.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
And that's why I love you so much.
You've done that for me, youknow You've done that for me too
, even on my down days.
You know, everybody needs a ginjoy in their life.
That's what I always say, andit's just gin too.
I love it, I love it.
Well, I think this concludesour session.
Yeah, I think so.
(27:13):
I think we did amazing.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah, okay.
If you're struggling, rememberhow you think is how you feel.
If you're feeling still heavy,start by shifting the thought.
You're not stuck.
Your brain can change, so canyour story.
I'm Jessica G.
This is the Just In Timepodcast and I'll see you next
time.
Until then, keep going, nevergive up and remember the world
is better with you in it,whether you believe it or not.
(27:34):
To help reach others, pleaseshare this with your friends,
family, and don't forget to like, subscribe and donate.
Hi, I'm Jessica G and this is the Just In Time
podcast.
If you're struggling today, Iwant you to know this podcast is
here for you, but it's not asubstitute for professional help
.
If you're in a crisis orfeeling unsafe, please call or
text 988 or dial 911 forimmediate support.
There are people out there whowill listen and can help.
On this show, I'll be sharingpersonal experiences, mindset
(00:22):
shifts, talking with key expertsand sharing real tools that
help me go from barely survivingto thriving.
This is not about quick fixes orone-size-fits-all advice.
It's raw, it's honest, it'swhat worked for me and what I
believe can help others too.
Let's walk together fromdarkness to hope.
All right, welcome everybody.
My name is It'll be just intime to save a life, going to be
(00:46):
sharing my personal story, andI want you guys to know that it
is taking me many years to getto this point in order to be in
(01:11):
a position to share this story.
So if I tear up or cry or taketoo many pauses, I apologize
ahead of time.
And today I have with me Ms JenJoy.
She's been a huge support in mylife.
She's also a board member onthe nonprofit, she has four
beautiful girls and she runs ahuge corporation.
(01:35):
She is a CEO of CCRS.
Jen has worked with how manyemployees?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
do you have, Jen?
We have 800 actively onprojects now, but we have up to
8,000 that are all benefitingfrom your program and what you
started.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Thank you, jen.
She's been just a big supportfor Just In Time and she really
understands the mission and Ihave seen her work with her
employees and I know mentalhealth is really important to
you and the programs and thestructures that you've built
within your company and thatyou've shared with me and others
is life changing.
So I'm just happy to have youhere, so happy to be here.
(02:14):
Yes, and for all the listeners,you guys, this is the first
podcast, exciting, yes, it'svery exciting.
Um, so let's just dive into it.
Um, let's, let's just, let'sjust get into it.
Um, so, uh, this podcast iscalled from darkness to hope,
and that is the name of theprogram that the non-profit,
(02:38):
just in time to save a life, um,wants to create.
So so I'm going to get into alittle bit of why I started Just
In Time and what we've done sofar, where we're going and what
our big goal is.
I opened this nonprofit becauseI found my own way out of
(03:01):
darkness From the age of 13,.
I struggled with suicidalthoughts, suicide ideation, and
that really didn't stop until Iwas about 24.
And I remember making aconscious decision okay, if I'm
not going to do this, then I'mgoing to try to make my life the
(03:24):
best that I could See.
About eight years ago I lost mydad death by suicide.
A month later, I lost mybrother.
His name was Justin HenceJustin time to save a life.
And all of that came back.
Life and all of that came backand I was struggling.
(03:55):
I could not overcome myfeelings and the pain that that
caused For suicide survivors.
You know what I'm talking about.
It creates a ripple-like effectand I'm even like shaking right
now talking about it becauseit's such a heavy topic and even
though I've overcome suicideideation which I'm about to get
(04:16):
into the how the grief willalways be there, like that.
That's something that you know.
I don't and at least in myhealing journey, that hasn't,
you know, gone away right.
It'll just hit you out ofnowhere when you're sharing your
message, and I think that's whyit took me so long to get to
this point.
(04:37):
But I have a message inside ofme that I know that I'm supposed
to share with the world,because that person that was
struggling, or the person outthere that's struggling like
that, was me, and I wish thatsomebody would have told me
sooner what I know now, and Iowe Karsten and Diego, two of my
(04:57):
spiritual friends um, a huge,huge, heartfelt thanks, because
they are the ones thatintroduced me to Dr Joe
Dispenza's work and he talks alot about harnessing
neuroplasticity to fight suicide.
And, um, I had gone through, um,you know, the healthcare system
(05:20):
and I got a medications and Iwent to counseling and I even
checked myself into places and Ijust was struggling.
I was in so much pain and Iknew what my dad, my brother,
did wasn't right.
I know suicide is is not theway it's.
It's it is preventable.
Um, and I knew it wasn't theway, but I was in so much pain
(05:41):
and I could not, like kind ofovercome it at the time.
And it's because I was hardwired, I was in survival mode and it
wasn't until my friends was likeJess, you need to rewire your
brain.
And I'm like, what are youtalking about?
Like now, of course, I want tomake this clear If you are in a
crisis or you're struggling,please don't tell somebody to
(06:03):
rewire their brain.
Like, if they're in an activecrisis, right, like that's
probably not going to work.
When they're in a calm state orafter they've gotten to a place
of safety, then that's the timethat you can, you know, really
talk about this.
And that's the other thing too.
That's really scary, jen.
It's like to talk about mentalhealth, because we don't want to
(06:23):
say the wrong thing.
Right, you know right.
I mean it's it's a scary topicto talk about.
You don't want to cause moreharm and that's also why I
waited to talk about it.
It's like you know, we may havereally good intentions to share
our message or to share ourstory because we think we're
(06:44):
helping somebody, but it wasn'tuntil I got educated with AFSP
and I became a presenter forthem, and next week we're
actually going to haveJacqueline Sharp on our episode.
She's the area director forAFSP.
We're so excited.
She really helped me get to aplace where I could actually
(07:07):
speak about it with confidence,like here's the do's and don'ts,
and we're going to get intothat in the second episode,
which I think will also help alot of people too that know
others that are struggling.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
But to stay on topic, where was I Talking about how
you wanted to make sure that youwere saying all the right
things?
And I know all the work thatyou make sure that you were
saying all the right things andI know all the work that you put
into that and all the training,yes and yes, from TED Talks to,
like you mentioned, meetingAFCP and doing everything that
you need to do and in order tobe able to get to this point,
(07:41):
get to this point, speak aboutthis because you're so
passionate about it, yeah, andyou're so passionate about it,
yeah, and you care so deeply.
And one of the things thattouches me is to hear of your
journey and how long and hardyou've fought, not just to keep
your chin up, not just to putone foot in front of the other,
not just to wake up every dayand continue to search, but you
(08:09):
didn't give up and you've donethe hard work.
You took the journey, and thehard work meaning putting it
there to where now they can takeit and run with it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, absolutely Cause.
Yeah, it's hard from there.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right, oh yeah, but we are able to you're, you're
able to take what you learnedand make it available to
everyone yeah, because I wish,thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Thank you, because I was like I wish, um, that
somebody told me sooner that Ineeded to rewire my brain, right
, um, and that's exactly it, um,so, so, anyways, I was like you
know, um, talking to my friendsare like you need to rewire
your brain.
Dr Joe Dispenza, he has allthese workshops um, and I was
(08:47):
losing hope and I didn't knowwhat it meant to lose hope.
And to anyone that's strugglingout there or know somebody
that's struggling, if you startto lose hope, you know you're in
a bad place, because before Ididn't know what that meant.
I'm like you can hope for this,you can hope for that, but I
was losing hope, like I couldnot find a way out after trying
(09:07):
all these different things, andI'm not I'm not saying like it
wasn't a good idea to get onmedication, it wasn't a good
idea to go, because I think thatyou know, um, all of the
modalities helped me get to thispoint, and I think those
modalities, like takingmedication and going to seeing a
doctor and getting all the help, helped me get to the point in
which I got to today.
However, on that journey, Iwish somebody would have came
(09:28):
and said to me you need torewire your brain, and this is
how you can do it.
And there is no program outthere that I know of that
harnesses neuroplasticity tofight suicide specifically, and
that is the main goal of Just InTime to Save a Life, and so I
am looking for key experts tohelp me along the way and help
(09:49):
that journey.
I just know that I have amission in my heart and this is
what I'm supposed to do, eventhough I'm scared to do it.
I'm putting one foot in frontof the other and, um, and so
that's where we're at.
So, so, okay, I need tocontinue on with the story.
Um, so, anyways, um, so that'swhere I was told I need to
(10:10):
rewire my brain.
Okay, I.
So I was losing hope, needed torewire my brain, and I'm like
my friends believed in this,like so passionately, and I knew
they're the kind of peoplethey're very intelligent,
successful, beautiful humanbeings that care about you, know
your soul and other people, andso I was like, well, if, what
(10:33):
they're saying, if they reallybelieve in it, I'm shoot, I'm
going to give it a chance,because I was literally losing
hope.
So the dispenser program gaveme hope and I said, okay, I'm
going to give it.
This is my last shot.
Really, I was like the angel ofdeath was with me for like six
months.
I was not in a good place.
I was contemplating everysingle day, I was trying to just
(10:59):
make it through, like my bodywas in pain.
I was in pain, I was in whatDispenza would call survival
mode.
And what happens is you're inthis loop, right Cause how we
think is how we feel, and whenwe're feeling a certain way,
that creates choices.
Those choices createexperiences, those experiences
create emotions.
And then it's this whole loopand you can't.
(11:21):
It's, it's really really,really hard to get out of it.
You can't think greater thanhow you feel because you're,
you're lost, you know.
And when my friend explained itto me and he was like you need
to reprogram your brain, you'relike hardwired for depression.
You're like hardwired for um, adisaster.
Your, your future doesn't lookgood right now.
(11:42):
If you're gonna keep, if youkeep thinking this way, it
wasn't, yes, I was victimizedfrom losing my dad and brother
by suicide, but I don't.
I'm not the type of person likeI want to stay a victim to
something.
Right, like, yes, I was avictimized of it, but like I'm
like that's not me, that's notmy personality, right, I'm like
(12:03):
let's overcome this, let's go,let's get past this.
So it's like when people aresaying, oh, that's so selfish or
this is that, it's like, no,you just don't understand how
much pain these people are inand you think that the world
will be better without you.
But it's not true, becauseyou're believing lies.
Those are lies, they're lies,they're lies.
So what I had to do is I had toconsciously create my day, and I
(12:25):
had blankets on the windows.
I mean my little dog Romeo.
Thank God for him, because theonly reason why I even went
outside was to take him potty.
I mean, it was a very darkplace for many months, and I
know that there's other peopleout there that are in that
position and they need to hearthis, and that is why I'm here
(12:47):
today.
I know that there's otherpeople out there that are in
that position and they need tohear this, and that is why I'm
here today.
That's why we're here today tospread this awareness.
And so I remember I would notlet my feet hit the ground until
I told myself I was going tohave a good day, like I remember
my feet actually touching theground.
And I'll, because you'refighting your mind.
(13:08):
You're fighting your mind.
You have because you have torewire it, and in order to
reprogram and rewire, you haveto keep repeating it over and
over and over again.
Right, like absolutely somepeople are like they've mastered
suffering they are amazing atthat, right, and it's like oh my
gosh, I don't want to masterthis pain, I want to master this
suffering.
And so, you know, takingaccount and really looking at
(13:31):
your thoughts, what am Ithinking?
And like even jotting down,like five thoughts that you're
thinking on a daily basis thatare not healthy for you, and
then putting the positivemeaning to it, right, yeah, like
like realizing okay, I'mthinking this, you know, and I
(13:53):
should be thinking this.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
There's lots of modalities for that too.
I mean, one of the things thatreally helped me you mentioned
every morning getting out of bed, every night going to sleep I
would say I would write downwhat I needed to think about all
night long.
Yeah, put it down.
And then, before I would go tobed, I would just take a deep
breath and I would tap myfingers against the pillow and I
would do it five times and Iwould just keep doing it until I
(14:17):
would fall asleep, because mybiggest struggle was overnights
and waking up and havingthoughts and yeah, so that's one
of the things that I needed.
So what you're talking aboutreprogramming and teaching
yourself to think.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, and that's such a great thing to to bring up
like that's a coping mechanism,right.
So it's like in in the interim,right, like coping mechanisms
are amazing and they're greatand they help us get to who we
are now, right.
But it was like for me, um andI'm so glad you brought that up
for me, like when I was like soset in such a dark place, there
(14:57):
was all these coping mechanisms,right, and coping mechanisms
are great, don't get me wrong.
They're amazing, right, andthey helped you in that moment
and they helped me in thosemoments too.
But I was so close to the edge,jen, that I was like, oh my
gosh, like I don't want to livea life I'm just constantly
coping with.
I'm on this medication, I'm onthat medication, like I'm in
pain, I'm just coping.
You don't want a band-aid, youwant to.
(15:17):
Yeah, I needed in order for meto pay off, in order for me to
stay on this on this planet.
I was like I need somethinglike that's gonna feed my soul,
I need something that's like I'mnot just coping with life
anymore, I'm thriving, like tosay, like I am just over the
moon to say this and to be ableto truly say this.
(15:37):
I do not struggle with suicideideation any longer.
I never thought that that wouldhappen.
See, thinking about the everyday is so hard.
It's so, so hard.
And I kept it in for yearsbecause I don't want to look
like the crazy one because ofthe stigma.
And I think the same thing formy brother and we're going to
we'll get into that in otherepisodes too.
And my dad, you know, he was 56year old, white man.
(15:59):
I mean, if you look up thestatistics on that, it's just
because men are supposed to betough and not talk about their
feelings.
The programming again.
The programming exactly.
So reprogramming your brain isso important.
So for anyone out there that ifyou're struggling, I challenge
you to look at your thoughts.
(16:20):
How you think is how you feel.
And if you're feeling suicidal,it's because we're thinking a
certain way.
And if you can how do I saythis?
If you can master your thoughtsor master your mind, even just
five thoughts, that's huge.
That's going to start because,like when I told myself, okay,
(16:42):
I'm going to have a great day,fake it till you make it.
I was like I do not feel likeI'm having a great day.
I just lost my dad death bysuicide.
I just lost my brother death bysuicide.
Like how am I supposed to smile, smile and say I'm going to
have a great day?
How is that possible?
How is that possible?
I felt guilty for smiling.
Actually, right, I was like Ishouldn't be smiling right now,
you know.
But I had to overcome that andso, even if I didn't believe it,
(17:05):
pick it till you make it right,like I'm going to have a great
day.
I'm having a great day, andthat's that's where I had to
start and and it took me, andthis is why I say this is not a
quick fix Like this is somethingthat you have to repeat and
keep putting work in.
This isn't a medication, thisisn't, you know, along with
(17:25):
medication, maybe, or along withwhatever you know, your
healthcare provider, whatever itsays, because for every person,
I believe you have to find whatworks for each individual,
because we're we're all sounique.
But for me, it took about 90days, I would say 90 days, and I
did Dr Joe dispenses intensiveand progressive workshop, and
(17:47):
then I flew to Germany, I didhis advanced workshop and I'm
going to tell you it coststhousands of dollars to fly to
Germany, do that advancedworkshop and all that, and at
the end of it at the end of itwe did this mind movie and um it
was.
It was just an amazingexperience for me and hopefully,
maybe one day I can get Dr JoeDispenza on the show.
(18:08):
How amazing would that be.
That would be amazing.
That would be so amazing.
I did do an interview for him.
Actually.
I wanted the advanced workshopsand it's really hard for me to
watch, actually, because my bodywas still in survival mode.
So your body will still stay insurvival mode for a while until
it catches up with the mind.
(18:29):
It's interesting how that worksand we'll get more into that,
but today I just wanted to, youknow, touch on how we think is
how we feel.
So, anyways, I was like, oh mygosh, the first thing that I
wanted to do Jen, you're gonnalove this, because I know your
heart I wanted to go back to themental institution that I was
in and tell all the girls inthere that had suicide attempts,
(18:52):
wanted to tell them hey, youguys, you just need to reprogram
your brain.
It really works.
I swear to you like there's away out.
You don't have to like live alife you're constantly coping
with, like there's hope for you,there's hope for us.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
That was the first thing that Iwanted to do is to tell all
those girls what I mean.
(19:13):
That was the first thing that Iwanted to do is to tell all
those girls, because I met a 65year old lady, um, that
attempted suicide and oh, like,just it breaks my heart thinking
about that.
And I remember when the family,you know, there's like
visitation day and they come tosee you and how devastated her
children were.
You know, know, and I know thatI'm not the only one that's
(19:36):
struggling.
You know, and I know that, um,you know, if you, if you look at
Robin Williams, he had all themoney and all the resources in
the world and still you knowwhat I mean and still and still.
But for people that don't haveresources and don't have the
money to go to the program orlet alone, maybe Robin Williams
(20:00):
needed to hear this.
I don't know, I don't know, wedon't know, we don't know.
But what I do know is that fromthe age of 13, I struggled with
suicide ideation and I nolonger do that anymore, and it's
because I rewired and reprogrammy brain and I don't take
medications today, you know so,and you're going to be talking
(20:20):
about everything that youlearned on this podcast yeah, so
that people don't have to flyto Germany.
Yeah, that and that, yes,absolutely and that, and then
eventually like, create, like,and this is why I want to, you
know, get to spend.
I mean, my dream was to get tospend there, get key experts or
psychiatrists and people,because neuroscience is out
there, it is, it's out there,it's growing, it's out there,
(20:42):
but there's nothing that's freeand accessible to everyone, and
so that is that's.
That's been the true mission.
From the beginning, I was likethere should be this, because I
sent thousands of dollars and Iknow that those, some of those-
um girls and women that I met.
They barely had money to put gasin their tank, like, let alone,
you know, buy a ticket to go toadvanced workshop or do an
(21:08):
intensive or progressiveworkshop online even you, you
know.
And so I wanted somethingdesigned specifically for those
that were struggling with that.
And you know, I'm going todream big here and maybe that
can be in mental health careproviders' offices, like
(21:28):
throughout the world, like maybethat's something that can
happen one day Absolutely.
But all I know is I'm not anexpert in this.
I'm just here to share, like,what worked for me and I care so
much about people that arestruggling because suicide is
preventable, so that's a lotright.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You're doing amazing.
So you.
When I first met you, Iremember it was at a piano bar.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
That's right.
Oh my gosh, you know what?
That was probably a year afterI had lost my dad and brother.
Actually, yeah, that wasprobably 2018.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
And this is, I think, one of the things that is that
I've heard you say is reallyimportant to you too.
It's identifying andunderstanding that you don't
always know, you don't alwayssee someone and see that they
have the pain, that they arestruggling, right, that they are
struggling.
And when I saw you, that firsttime dynamic, you were that girl
(22:38):
.
You ruled the room, you walkedin with just you had this, you
had this presence about you andit was steel and it was sparkle.
At the same time, it was powerand it was love and it was
happiness and joy and you madesuch an impression on me, going
(22:58):
through a difficult time in mylife at the time, just in that
brief encounter in the bathroom,in the bathroom at the piano
bar?
Oh my gosh, yeah when you wereso incredibly charismatic,
dynamic, and you made everybodyin the room feel like they were
10 feet tall.
Just talk to them.
And you and you made everybodyin the room feel like they were
10 feet tall.
Just talk to them, and you,just you made everybody feel 10
feet tall.
And so to know now that youwere carrying those scars and
(23:23):
you were going through what youwere going through yeah, and I
had no idea at the time.
And both are authentic, bothare real, both are beautiful,
both are authentic, both arereal, both are beautiful.
And and to know, though, thatthat woman that I saw that day
was going through the thingsyou're talking about right now,
um, it's, uh, you know it's it.
(23:43):
It it shattered me.
It's been in a good way, in agood way, in a good way, to
where I was able to, to see myworld in a way that I needed to
see it.
Um, because you get focused ona lot of times, people do with
your own pain or whatever you'regoing through.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And I think that that day, in the bathroom, I think
we mirrored each other.
Yes, you know, we were like amirror and absolutely it was so
crazy how we met, re met again,yes, randomly, and I was like I
remember you from the bathroomand I was like, oh my gosh, so
um.
But yeah, I mean that just goesto show.
It's like Robin Williams, right, he was so funny.
(24:19):
Who would have thought, yeah,you know, my brother, justin, oh
my gosh, love to make peoplelaugh.
You know, he, just he was thatkid, that just like, like if he
saw an old lady, you know,exiting, he would just run up
and open the door for her realquick and like, help her, put
her groceries in the car.
Like that was Justin, like hewas such a bright light.
(24:39):
And you know, suicide amongstcollege students it's the second
leading cause of death in theUnited States.
And, um, I really, really,really want to speak to college
students and I have um more, youknow, just because that's dear
to my heart.
But you know his fraternity,sigma Pi.
(25:02):
His pledge was suicideprevention.
So that's why I think suicideeducation and prevention is so
important and giving people thetools and the resources in order
to do that and that's also why,like you know, being kind, like
you said, you don't, you neverknow what somebody's going
through.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I don't know, you just don't know, you don't know
so and your smile or your words,um, could make a huge
difference.
It could be part of the shiftthat you're talking about, you
know.
I mean, even though there mightnot be a curriculum that's
readily available.
Yeah, I don't think peoplerealize that their words and
(25:46):
their actions can actually startthat rewiring process.
They might not even realizewhen we're going about the world
, we identify with and hold onto things that are comfortable
to us.
Yeah, so if someone has said tous, um, uh, something that's
really hurt our hearts or madeus feel bad, especially
especially in like a, a very, um, a very, uh, I guess, delicate
(26:07):
moment, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
When you're vulnerable or where you're
already down, that could be thefinal straw for somebody.
You know what I'm saying,because because you know,
sometimes we're fragile yes,Sometimes we're fragile.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, and to understand that.
You know people are looking forthose identifiers and if you
give them something different,that that makes them stop, it
makes them take pause.
Yeah, and that could besomething that they hold on to.
We change the wording andemails that we send out through
the company just to build peopleup and our slogan is you are
(26:42):
excellence.
Yes, and there's a reason forthat.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You're speaking it into their life.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
That's it, right, that's it, and you have to speak
it into their life.
You have to speak it into theirlife.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
And that's why I love you so much.
You've done that for me, youknow You've done that for me too
, even on my down days.
You know, everybody needs a ginjoy in their life.
That's what I always say, andit's just gin too.
I love it, I love it.
Well, I think this concludesour session.
Yeah, I think so.
(27:13):
I think we did amazing.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah, okay.
If you're struggling, rememberhow you think is how you feel.
If you're feeling still heavy,start by shifting the thought.
You're not stuck.
Your brain can change, so canyour story.
I'm Jessica G.
This is the Just In Timepodcast and I'll see you next
time.
Until then, keep going, nevergive up and remember the world
is better with you in it,whether you believe it or not.
(27:34):
To help reach others, pleaseshare this with your friends,
family, and don't forget to like, subscribe and donate.
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