Jeff Fasano's Journey from Corporate to Creative | Just Keep Talking podcast - Just Keep Talking

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brother Love (00:00):
Telling our stories is the connective tissue of the
collective human experience.
The Just Keep Talking podcast delvesinto the lives and stories of artists.
What is the impact ofmental health on creativity?
What does it mean to bea creative individual?
Someone who feels deeply, experiencesjoy and pain, intensely and
navigates the challenges of lifethrough the creative process.

(00:21):
With each story shared, we explore theauthentic experience of our basic need
to Be Seen, to Be Heard, and to Belong.
We are really not so differentfrom one another, nor are we alone.
Together we can inspire, encourage, andenlighten each other to find the true joy
and fulfillment that is within ourselves.
When we just keep talking, we create thespace for gratitude, self-acceptance,

(00:46):
and grace in everyday life.
In a world filled with divisiveness,fostering inclusivity and connection is
a powerful way to make a positive impact.
Tune in to the Just Keep Talkingpodcast with me, Brother Love,
because Your Story Matters.

Larry (01:02):
Welcome to the Just Keep Talking podcast.
My guest this week is JeffFasano, photographer to the Stars.
Hello, sir.

Jeff Fasano (01:08):
Hey,

Larry (01:09):
Good to see you, and thank you for being here.

Yeah,
man.

Larry (01:12):
You are a photographer.
You have shot everybody.
My man, Jeff Fasano, Steven Van Z.
David Crosby, Steven Stills, and JudyCollins, Chris Christofferson, Vince
Gill, Jason Isbell, Billy Gibbons.

Sarah Tomek,

Larry (01:25):
Sarah Tomek, my wife.
Wilco.
Margot Price.
James Earl Jones.
You photographed Darth Fricking Vader.
How cool are you?
I'm gonna tell you how cool you are.
You're very cool.
And Quincy Jones, this is bananas to me.
Tell us a little bit about whoyou are and where you come from.
You can Google anybody, folks.
You listen to the Just Keep Talkingpodcast because we delve into the lives

(01:46):
of the artists and their creative nature.

I'm from where David Johansson's from.
I'm
from where Buzzy Verno is from.
From where?
Johnny Rao's from,
Where Earl Slick is fromWhere Kazen Sultan's from.
We're all from Staten Island.

Larry (01:59):
Staten
Island.
Such a point of pride for you.
Isn't that great?
See, I'm from Queens.
We have a pecking orderin New York, don't we?

Oh,
no.
doubt.
Well, actually I was talkingabout this somebody the other day.
I still don't understand why StatenIsland's part of New York City.

Larry (02:12):
You all think
that.

It's Jersey.

Larry (02:13):
You know what, it's part of the five boroughs of New York City.
That's what it is.
And you wanna leave and you know what?
Just leave.
But you don't leave.
Okay.
So as a guy from Queens, whenI go into someplace and the cat
says, oh, I'm from Brooklyn.
I'm like, all right, you're cool.
Brooklyn.
Okay.
I'm sort of third inline as far as I know.
Manhattan is still first.
Yes.
Then Brooklyn, Manhattan, Brooklyn,Queens, then Staten Island, and

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No.

Larry (02:39):
that in there.
The Bronx and then
Staten Island.
When I was a kid.
living in Queens.
I used to go to this beach withmy friend Mark Lichtenstein
my earliest childhood friend.
We started playing drums together.
We were in summer camp together, andI remember they used to talk about
this cabana, my parents and thecabana, cabana, this, cabana that I
don't understand, what is a Cabana?

(03:00):
And so they said we're going tothe cabana we're bringing Larry.
And they lived, in NewHyde Park, which is kind

of
Uhhuh between

Larry (03:06):
Queens and Long Island.
So we would get in their car, andwe would drive to Staten Island.
Really?
And at a certain point they would hide me.
They'd say, Larry, get underall of the blankets in the back.
Because I guess there was a feefor somebody else in the car
to come

So you, You were probably going to Midland beach.
Okay.

Larry (03:22):
Where did the Jewish
people from Long Island andQueens go in Staten Island?

I'm, Well, I'm still trying to figure out why
you
were going from New Hydeto Staten Island as opposed
New Hyde Park to freaking Jones Beach

Larry (03:33):
I think it was like a grandparent thing.

they Oh,

Larry (03:34):
went to visit their grandparents, I, don't know why, but
they would hide me, Larry, get downand hide and don't make any sound.
And we'd go through this toll boothI'm a kid, by the way, I'm a child.
I'm like 10 years old,

It was, the whole thing is you paid per person.
That's why.
So they hid you So they
can only pay for three people orfour people, or whatever ever it was.

Larry (03:51):
I was always under the impression that Staten Island was this wonderful
place with this awesome beach.
And the only other time I've ever reallyspent any time in Staten Island is
when my wife and I Sarah Tomek as youmentioned, you took wonderful pictures
of my wife, the famous Sarah Tomek.
We went from Asbury Park, NewJersey, where she's from to
Long Island to visit my parents.
So we would always go through StatenIsland, even though we didn't have

(04:13):
to, because there's a pizza placecalled Brother's Pizza that we found
that is one of our favorite places.
So when we go to New York and New Jersey,we try to go through Staten Island.
They go to Brother's Pizzaria.

The
pizza on Staten Island, and the bagels.
Yes.
On Staten Island are thebest in the frigging world.

Larry (04:29):
We have a lot to cover between then and now.
You had a whole life beforeyou were a photographer, my
friend.

Yeah.
Well, Yeah.
I mean, all the way upuntil I was 40 years old.
Exactly.
So, I was in the corporate world, import,export, steamship industry for 18 years.

Larry (04:42):
Import export steamship.

You know the big containers you see?
And you go over to Berry Hill and yousee that whole big container yard.
That's what I did.

Larry (04:49):
Wow.
So you did that for 18 years.
18 years.
Wow.
And something happened,something transformed.
What happened there, young man?

You
know what's really interesting,what things that happened in my
life happened after breakups.
I made these major shifts in my lifebased upon breaking up with a woman.
I was dating a woman and she showed meher headshot and I went, I wanna do that.
She went, what?
I go, I wanna take pictures like that.

Larry (05:13):
So this is when in your life, this is, how old are you in this at this point?

28 years old.

Larry (05:19):
You're in the importing, exporting business.
You are in Manhattan
World Trade

Center?
No, I'm still living on Staten

Larry (05:25):
You're
Working at the World Trade Center.
Importing, exporting.
You look at her headshot and say,

I want to do that.
I want to take pictures.
My friend's girlfriend at thetime now, his wife said, Hey,
you always loved photography.
'Cause when I was in collegeI was shooting, all the time.
she said, Tom's taking aguitar class at the new school.
I went back and I took a photographyclass, a refresher, 'cause I knew,
still knew how to do everything.
So I went and took this class at the endof that semester, this guy, Mario Cabrera

(05:51):
wanted to be my mentor and still my friendto this day who I dedicated my book to,
looks in the wash and says, is that yours?
I went, yeah.
He goes, take my class next semester.

Larry (06:00):
When you say looks at the wash,

A print of mine is in the wash.
Was a little 8 x 10.
He goes, is that yours?

Larry (06:06):
And I said, you're developing this?

Okay.
And So I took his class andthat is what blew my mind.
This is what started the
trajectory
of me doing this for a living.
The first assignment was go andlook at how Rembrandt painted light.
I went to the bookstore.
I opened the book and it blew my mind.
I looked at how Rembrandt paintedlight and saw light and a switch went

(06:30):
off and this euphoria came over me.
This is rocking my world.
So I stayed at Parsons forthat semester and three more.
I studied with him for two years.

Larry (06:42):
Wow.
That's incredible.
So you had always been
excited about photography.
It always, it wassomething that you loved.
I

was doing it in high school.
I had photographs in my high schoolyearbook and stuff like that.

Larry (06:51):
But, but it wasn't an option for you, like getting out of college,
you said you just went right into the
workforce.

I was doing what my father did.
I was following in dad's
footsteps.

Larry (06:59):
Right.
And that made sense.
Why follow your dreams?
Right.
was that even
possible?
My,
no.
I know

Parents were depression era parents.
And my father was, get a job.
Get a pension and get benefits.
Then you're golden.

Larry (07:11):
And
then die and that's it.
Hope you had a good time.
Hope you had fun.

So I, did that with Cabrera and it just rocked my world.
Then I started dating another woman.
I moved to Manhattan.
Then I left Parsons.
Right.
I took another class at InternationalCenter for Photography in New York
City with this guy, Harvey Stein.
That class was amazing.
And at the end of that class, he broughtin two models, set up his lights,

(07:37):
and we all could shoot the models.
And as I was doing that, Iwent, This Is What I Wanna Do.
Wow.
This Is What I Want To Do.

Larry (07:44):
How old were you?
This was 1992, you

said,
I was
32.

Larry (07:48):
And you were still working in shipping, you
were still, you had your job.
Yeah.

Yeah.
Then I just was going crazy.
I was shooting everything.
I built a dark room in my kitchen.
I mean,
wow.
wow.
I had all of this stuff going on.
We get to the end of that relationship.
And, she turned to me and said, you know.
you hate your life.
You hate your job and you hate your life.
The only time you're ever happyis when you're with me, and
you've got that camera
in I just, my eyes pop open.

(08:12):
And I went home and I tookout a yellow legal pad.
Mm-hmm.
And on the top I wrote, whatdo I want to be when I grow up?

Larry (08:19):
And you are how old at
this?
33.
33.

And I sat there and wrote down all of what I could
possibly do, even in that world,photography was in there a little bit.
I'm writing the list mycat's sitting next to me.
Larry, at like 11 o'clock at night,I look at the list, photography jumps
off the page and hits me in my soul.

Larry (08:40):
So you were open to that and you listened.

And I'm going, that's what I'm gonna do.
I wanted to go in andquit my job the next day.
Now I'm 33 years old.
I don't have a portfolio, I have nothing.
So my father calls me and I told him what?
He goes,
you're
not ready to quit your job.
I went and I got pissed.
What?
He goes, you're notready to quit your job.
He was Right.
I had nothing.
So what I did is right then and there,I made the decision to dedicate every

(09:04):
waking moment of my life except to goto the gym for an hour on photography.
I built a dark room.
I got lights,
to practice.
I used to have photo parties.

Larry (09:14):
What, what is that?

On Friday nights or Saturday nights, Do you know who Leee Childers is?
Lee managed, the Heartbreakers.
Yeah, yeah, With Johnny Thundersand Jerry Nolan and all those dudes.
Yeah.
Richard Hell, He managed Main ManMusic for David Bowie and Andy Warhol.
I became friends with Leeeand he and I would have a
photo
party.
So I would put up a background inmy living room and I'd go, Hey,
Leee, bring, some of your friendsover, some of his friends over.

(09:37):
Mm-hmm.
Some of his friends wasfreaking Sid Vicious.
I mean they would come up and,you know, he'd bring his bottle
of gin I was drinking and we,and I would shoot photograph.
And then like 3, 4, 5 in themorning, everybody would leave.
I'd develop the film,and that's what I did
to practice.
Wow.
And I figured I'd have fun with it all.

Larry (09:54):
Yeah.
That's

And then I practiced and practice and started building a portfolio.
Right.
You know, this is before websites,this is before any of that.
So I was building a portfolio.
Lee became an amazing champion
of
what I was doing.
I said, yeah, maybe I'll shoot Headshots.
he goes, no, you're not.
You're an artist.
Follow that.
that
was a wonder.

Larry (10:12):
Because you could have just gone, not just gone, but head shots.
That's great.
That's a wonderful profession.

Make a lot of money doing headshots..
No, you're an artist.
He
was a wonderful, wonderful championof what I was doing at the time.
I kept on building it, then Igot gigs and stuff like that.
And then a woman
where
I was working, I was working with acompany called Zim Lines, an Israeli
government owned steamship company.
The 16th floor of World Trade Center One.
We had the entire floor.

(10:37):
This was 19 95, 6.
She looks at me and says, what doyou wanna do with this photography?
And I said, I wanna shoot music.
I love music.
I'm not a musician, Outta the blue shegoes, oh, I have a friend who works at
RCA Records, she's a VP at RCA records.
I go, can I get my portfolio to her?
Yeah.
So she goes, yeah, let me talk to her and
we'll
go up there at lunchtime.

Larry (10:56):
Amazing.

Went
up to RCA got on the train, sheand I went up, dropped off my book.
Two weeks later they called me, they go,Hey, we want you to shoot James Galway.
In Chicago.
Yeah.
And I went,
okay.
And I got that.
while I was still working.

Larry (11:09):
That's amazing.

And then I got a lot of other gigs and stuff like that.
And started amassing all of this.
And then, my father said tome, you will quit your job and
you'll know when it will be.
And there won't be anydrama surrounding it.

Larry (11:22):
Mm.
The calm

You'll, one day it'll hit you and you'll go
in and you will quit your job.
And I remember it was October, 1998.
I'm walking around lower Manhattan withmy camera taking pictures and it hit me.
And it just hit me.
I felt it in my solar plexus.
And I go, I'm done.
Walked into my boss, went in,
Larry
typed up Wow.

(11:44):
A resignation letter.
Typed it on a typewriter.

Larry (11:47):
Uhhuh.
Hell yeah.

No computers.

Larry (11:49):
You had a lot of skills, my friend.
You could always go back to the office

Walked in and my boss says this.
He goes, I was waiting for this today.

Larry (11:56):
Really?

And I said, the last day of, 1998 is on a Friday.
That's gonna be my last day.
So I gave him three months

Larry (12:03):
notice.
You gave him three months notice and didyou stick it through for three months?
Integrity on

Friday.
December
31st, 1998 was my last day.

Larry (12:12):
There's a new guy in town.

And then.
1999 was the first year,that I started this.
It was a Friday, right.
New Year's Eve.
Yeah.
On that Sunday night, it was likeabout nine o'clock at night and
I went, I don't have to get uptomorrow morning to go to work.

Larry (12:27):
That's amazing.
So the first year of your freedom ofyour new life, you let go of who you
thought you were supposed to be andyou became and embraced who you are.
That's a Brené Brownism.

That's really what it is.
Yes.
So many things happenedsimultaneously that first year.
That first year I started studyingmetaphysics with a guy by the
name of Robert Baker in New York.
Right.
What I came to realize, thereason why I was so angry,
it
Wasn't the job,
I still am friends withthose people today.
I loved those people who I worked with.

(12:57):
I was not living my soul's

Larry (13:00):
But how does one do that?
It's such a difficult thing to do.
I mean, I'm so impressed and blown awayby you, and I'm on a similar path in
life where, late bloomer, if you will,
where you say, wow, you know what?
I'm just not happy.
and I'm supposed to be doing X, Y, andz and I don't have time for my soul.
And there you wereanswering your own call.

I was so, yeah.
miserable.
I'm telling you those words.
She got it.
Yeah.
right on.
because there was something burninginside of me that I needed to follow.
And for me it was non-negotiable.
It was either I stay doing this mm-hmm.
and be a very miserable person.

(13:39):
Right.
Or I follow this and follow whatmy soul is calling me to do.
Right.
Most people, my father.
It was all about safety and security.
And
That is how most people live their lives.
It's about, realizing that and knowing
that
our safety and security,
actually, I don't even likethose words, Is within us.

Larry (14:02):
So you made a commitment to yourself to be safe and secure within

Yeah.
And that, it's really justmaking a commitment to ourselves.
If we make a commitment to ourselvesand hold to that commitment, then
everything we're doing outside ofourselves is creating relationships and
setting
boundaries and having agreements.
There are no commitments toanything other than ourselves.

Larry (14:25):
And if we're taking care of ourselves, we are taking care
of everything and everyone around

us.
A Bingo.
And

Larry (14:29):
that is so overlooked.
I have felt nothing but pressure mywhole life because I'm taught that I
need these securities from the outside.
I never committed to myself.
And I never fully committed to mebecause I thought it was being selfish.
That's a big distinction.

Yeah.
That's part of being,
It's about taking care of otherpeople and not even recognizing
our needs on so many levels.

Larry (14:55):
Because I feel better if I take care of you.

You'll love me if I take care of

Larry (14:59):
you.
Exactly.
Wow, that really is a shell.
I was a shell of a
human being and it's beena really hard journey.

Larry I did the same
thing.
I lived my life provingthat I'm worthy to be loved.

Larry (15:12):
Proving,
performing.
Oh my goodness.

Are you gonna love me.
Artists are essentially,we're very sensitive people
bearing our souls in our art.
Putting ourselves out there,we're putting a part of us
out in the world all the time.
Right.
Finding our self-worth andself value and self-love
that we were never modeled by anybody.
And finding that on our own.

(15:36):
So we know I'm lovable just for who I am.
Dude, my value, after a while, if Ishowed you a print of my work Right.
And you didn't like it, it would crush me.
Because my val, I, I transferred my valueinto my And therefore there is my value.

Larry (15:54):
Yes.
A
whole career.

And I did that until I got into therapy and started
working on loving, honoring,and valuing me for who I am.
And therein lies our safetyand security within ourselves.
All we wanna do in any relationshipis have a safe place to land.

Larry (16:13):
Yes.
when did you start therapy?

1999.
So the cool part of, quitting my job, I
Was just ending one partof my soul's journey.

Larry (16:22):
Mm-hmm.

And that's what I knew it was.
This door was closing
that chapter of my life.
Yeah.
Now I was starting a newchapter of my soul journey and
I'm choosing to do it as an artist.
I had to ease into closing the door.
what really was when I was 33, I wantedto like, yeah, yeah, I'm excited.

(16:43):
I wanna do this photography thing.
And my father said, no, no, you'renot ready to close that door yet.

Larry (16:48):
He was really on the journey with you.
I think

He was incredible.
And he was, right.
I'm now ready to take the pathwayto close the door on the old life.
Right?
So I had to make a plan.
Okay.
Living metaphysically and oursoul's journey is one thing,
but we also live in this world.
So one of the thingsTerry said, make a plan.
So I made a plan, and theplan was to build up a body of

Larry (17:14):
work right.

and get a lot of experience so I can then
close the door on that light.
Some people could just slam it shut,but that's the path that I took.
And Then right before I turned40, boom, I closed that door.
And I never had an ounce of fear.
And the reason why I never had anounce of fear is because I knew
all I did was close the door onone chapter of my soul's journey.

(17:39):
And the cool part is all of asudden I started meeting people
who I would never have met inthat, like artists, models, actors.
It was just like a whole world of awhole new thing that I never knew,
from being in the corporate world.
I was meeting corporate world people.

(18:00):
Yeah.
All of a sudden I'm meeting Robert Baker.
Got into a whole new realm of bioenergetictherapy and from doing that, that
helped me through the beginning yearsof creating this whole new life.

Larry (18:12):
That's amazing.
What a commitment to yourself.
That's fantastic.
And you've been in therapy ever since?
Pretty much.
Pretty much.

Times it was intense therapy.
Mm-hmm.
But really what it is, isjust, having somebody to talk
to about shit that's going on.
Yeah.
We all need at times, we can'tdo everything on our own.
We all need, people to help us processshit that happens in our life.
from
An objective point of view.
Right.
a great therapist is somebody who's gonnatake the mirror and hold it up to you.

Larry (18:42):
Yeah, absolutely.

So we can look at ourselves, because anything that
happens in the world, somebody comesup and triggers something inside of
us
That has nothing to do with that person.
You can thank them for going, oh wow, youjust triggered something inside of me.

Larry (18:56):
But I wanna be mad at them for wronging me,

Yeah.
Right.
And you can have all yourfeelings about it, but I didn't
make that person feel, anyway.
On our journey in life withwonderful thing about therapy.
It's just making us aware, raising ourawareness and consciousness to ourselves.
Oh wow.
that
Person just did this and said this.
Whoa.
That triggered something inside of me.

(19:19):
They probably said was somethingthat our mother said when we
were seven or eight years old.
Mm-hmm.
And then
Breathe
and respond by saying, oh, wow,that just triggered this in me.
And then it's really okay, I needto take responsibility for me.

Larry (19:34):
Yes, 100%.

That's all it is.
I need to take responsibility for
what
I'm feeling.
Mm-hmm.
That's happening inside of us by findingways instead of projecting those feelings
onto another person.

Larry (19:49):
That's so hard to not do that.
It's so hard to not project andget just angry and blame and feel
despair and despondent and just feellike the world is closing in on me.
And it's your
Your fault.
fault.
My wife just got home from a longtour, and it takes a while for
us to get back into our groove.

(20:10):
And communication is,not where it will be.
And it lacks.
We both have our, ways of copingand dealing with being apart.
and it's hard and we blame each other.
We're in that space, but I know that weboth know that we're on the same side and
that we do care and respect each other.
But it's so hard.
Jeff Fasano, she comes home from tourand she yells at me about something

(20:34):
and I yell at her about something andwe're not listening to each other.
And it can be so painful and so difficult,but like, I know we love each other,
but we're in this space where it's justeasier to just blah, blame and blah.
You are, you are wrong.
And you made me feel this way and Idon't wanna feel that way anymore.
And I know she doesn't wantto feel that way anymore.

(20:55):
And I know we're gonna get throughthese things and I mean, we're fine.
It just, it takes a minute toget to the quiet place where
I am taking responsibility.
And I did.
I left, not in a huff at all.
I was at an event the othernight and I was watching a movie.
A friend of mine made a film and itwas so touching and I started to cry
and
I just started to melt.
'cause I realized I was being ajerk to my wife because I wasn't

(21:17):
taking care of myself and Ithought to myself, what am I nuts?
She wants nothing morethan for me to do me.
I want for me to do me, andshe's going to do her, and we're
going to do things together.
But I was in such a crazy, insane placewhere I was just angry and I was blaming.
I was watching this film in a space ofquiet and peace, and I started to cry and

(21:39):
I thought, wow, I just learned something.
I took a little bit of responsibilityand thought, oh my goodness,
I need to relax a little bit,
release some of this and talk aboutit because there's no reason for
me to throw this on somebody else.
And hearing you talk about thisreally brings me to a place
of appreciation, you know?

(21:59):
Cause now we're at a place wherewe're getting older and you carry this
anger, you carry these things with youthrough your life, and it's so painful.
I know so many artists, so many musicianswho carry this pain, this struggle,
it's almost like a badge of courage.
If I'm gonna be anartist, I'm gonna suffer.
Why do we feel like we have to suffer so
Much?

It's that.
Starving artist, angst artists.
stuff.
But
Larry,
God, I've been there.
We've all been there.
Yeah.

Larry (22:27):
a lot of us keep going back there, Jeff Fasano.
You have, crossed a threshold and youmade commitments to yourself, and now
you seem to be living your best life.
You're 67, you just had a birthday.

I'm, I tell you, it's, been a road to learn how to love myself.
As I am.
It has been a road to movethrough my programming and
conditioning from mom and dad,
Nice guy stuff, my caretakerstuff, my proving stuff.
It is so much energy, expended to do that.
Because we were never taught by mom anddad how to love ourselves and how to honor

(23:03):
ourselves, and how to value ourselves.
We had to find all of that out on our own.
I remember when Robert Baker one dayasked me, so Jeff, what do you need?
And this was probably my fifthor sixth session with him.
He just started the session off with,
so Jeff,

Larry (23:17):
This
is your therapist, right?
I'm

sorry.
What do you need?
He could have been speakinga foreign language.
I didn't even know what that meant.
Nobody Larry in my life had ever asked me,
what
do you need?
Not my mother, not my father, not anybody.
I didn't even know what needs were.
All I knew how to do wastake care of everybody

Larry (23:37):
Right.
Yeah.
I know what I want.
Right.
I have wants,

And I lost it.
I think I cried for 10 minutes.
' cause I was so touched thatsomebody asked me what I needed
and I couldn't even answer him.
And that started me on the roadto understanding what a need was.

Larry (23:54):
Huh.

I was 40 years

Larry (23:55):
old.
Yeah.

40 years old that I had no idea what a need was much
less express a need to somebody.
Why?
Because if I said, Hey, you knowwhat, mom, this is what I need,
that was gonna cause a conflict, andmom was not gonna love me anymore.
Getting me to understand what a need was.
That was the beginning of really Myneeds were important and, I'm the only

(24:17):
one who can take care of my own needs.
The inner journey is notfor the faint of heart.
It's one of the most courageousthings that we can do.
Is to take that inner journey
to
go within to all of thattrauma, all of that conditioning
and all of that programming,
Move our way through itlayer by layer, by layer.

(24:38):
And believe me, we're never done.
I'm
67, you're never done.
There's always gonna beanother deeper level.
But here's the cool part.
All a good therapist is doing isgiving you a shit load of tools.
And raising our awareness andconsciousness to all of that stuff.
So we have tools, whether it islike you just did, went and saw this
movie and I got quiet with myself.

(25:00):
That's a tool.
One of the most importantthings is, feeling our feelings.
Allowing ourselves to have all of ourfeelings because we're feeling constantly.
Yeah.
From the moment we wake up inthe morning till the moment we go
sleep, we're feeling all day long.
Mm-hmm.
So if we can say, I'mfeeling angry right now.
It's okay.
I'm feeling sad right now.

(25:21):
It's okay.
I'm feeling happy right now.
It's okay.
So then if we're triggered, ifsomeone triggers something inside
of us, It's always important tokeep in mind that we're human.

Larry (25:34):
Oh, a little grace.
You say

What I'm talking about is all on a deep soul level.

Larry (25:37):
Very much so.

What the best thing to do is feel it and then, okay, here's
a tool, i'm gonna go to the subwayand scream my bloody brains out.
Yeah.
And release the energy Right.
Of the feelings.
'cause all of our feelingshas energy attached to it.

Larry (25:52):
Now the thing that happens though is that violence can occur.
So like, Thich Nhat Hanh who I

who I, I just, I just finished the Art of Living.

Larry (25:59):
Yeah.
I just finished Fear and Anger.
It's wonderful stuff.
When he talks about some people will goand hit a pillow, get out that anger.
Now what he's saying is in theZen Buddhist tradition is try
to avoid the act of violence.
Right.
Which is really tough because now whatI'm seeing is just saying something
the wrong way is an act of violence.
Mm-hmm.
Me just saying, Jeff, you know, I'mangry because you pissed me off 'cause

(26:22):
you did this and that's how you did it.
The way I'm speaking to you is violent.
Yeah.
And I'm trying to figure out my wayof, getting to the point, expressing
myself, feeling my feelings, and yetnot knocking you over the head with it.
And it's really hard to dosometimes because I'm a New Yorker.
My wife is from New Jersey.
We speak like this, right?
You understand?

(26:43):
You're Staten Island.
It used to be a badge of honor to belike, yeah, that guy, he is from New York.
He'll tell you straight up how it is.
And then I realized sometimes I'mlike, wow, I'm being kind of violent
with my words towards people, andI think they're taking it the way
it sounds, which is violent, and Idon't need to be violent in this way.
I'm just reminding myselfthis as it happens.
You know why?

(27:03):
Because it keeps happening.
You said it perfectly.
These things, they don't just end right.
It keeps going.
You're 67, I'm gonna be 54 soon.
Every single day, the same issuescome up that I had 20 years ago,
five years ago, 40 years ago.
It's just a matter of do Ihandle it a little better now?
Am I getting to the place where Ican go and scream at the subway or

(27:27):
go and have a quiet moment and cry?
I think what happens is peoplego to therapy, people go and
talk about things like that, orthey say, I'm working on myself.
And then they go, oh, Idid it, problem solved.

And
then the next thing is gonna show up.

Larry (27:41):
But that's the thing.
It's okay.
The human beingness is that it's okaythat when it comes up again and you
go right back to the anger, or you goright back to feeling depressed, to
not then be angry at your anger, tonot be depressed at your depression.
It's a cycle that will keep coming up.
And the only way to breakit is to be mindful of these

(28:03):
things.
Mm-hmm.
And to really stop, look, andlisten to ourselves a little

I have a men's group
that I facilitate
here in
Nashville every Monday night.
we just finished The Art of Living.
Right.
And he talks about suffering and Imean, these guys, very deep spiritual
dudes and we really go into this stuff.
Yeah.
And then we talked about suffering.
Somebody brought it up, hegoes, why do we really suffer?
And it hit me right at the end ofthe book, went, oh, I was triggered.

(28:28):
Feelings came

Larry (28:29):
up.

And it triggered
a memory of trauma.
I'm not pissed off,
I'm just feeling
angry.
I'm just feeling sad.
I'm
feeling all of this stuff, whenall these feelings start coming up
But he says, if we're mindfulthat that's what's happening.
We can move through
that with grace and ease

(28:50):
by
allowing ourselves to be where we are.
And it's Okay.
A lot of people have a huge bag of tools.
But forget to use
them.

Larry (29:01):
Well,
Love, Serve and Rememberis so the remember part.
I know I need to love andI know I need to serve.
The thing that I forget is to remember

Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Larry (29:12):
The thing that I forget all the time is that I remember that
I have these tools.
That I remember that I can get throughthis by being with it and not just
pushing it away and not shaming myselfor shaming my wife or shaming my
friends or shaming you, Jeff Fasano.
Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul.
He says, "You free yourselfby finding yourself."

(29:33):
Exactly.
And that's kind of whatwe're talking about

Okay.
We were picking a new book in the men's
group.
on Monday night.

Larry (29:39):
The Untethered
Soul
and Living Untethered Michael Singer.
I'm gonna invite myselfto join your group.
So thank you for

the invitation.

Larry (29:45):
Living Untethered.
Page 86.
There's a quote here.
It says, Experiences are not suffering.
They are experiences.
But if you decide how you want them to beand they're not that way, then you suffer.
Suffering is caused by the contrast ofwhat you mentally decided you wanted and
the reality unfolding in front of you.
You
know, people say, read the room.

(30:06):
my father said that to me I reallyhad to come to terms with my musical
career, I'm not making a livingtouring 'cause it's too expensive.
And as an artist of my own, Idecided to be my own boss and
have my band and have all that.
And it was too expensive.
And I was touring with other artistsand I'm working with like narcissists
and I'm working with people that aren'ttreating me with kindness or respect

(30:26):
monetarily or with respect, my art.
And I found myself in a placewhere I was like, I'm not happy.
I'm 50 years old and I'm miserable.
All I'm doing is tapdancing for everybody else.
I think that I should be further along.
I want the world to bethe way I want it to be.

I mean,

Larry (30:45):
And it's just not.
And my dad said to me, he goes,you know, I just don't think
you were reading the room.
And that really hurt.
' He doesn't understand the business.
He says, I don't understand your business.
you can always go back to school.
I swear I'm gonna go to, I'm gonnago to NYU and send him the bill.
It's gonna be great.
54 years old.

You Gotta move back to New York City.

Larry (31:02):
It's gonna be expensive, dad.

Yeah.
Yeah, Yeah.
except Washington SquarePark is still pretty cool.

Larry (31:06):
It's awesome.
Yeah.
I was at
Washington Square Parklast year and it was,

it's
still
great.
It

Larry (31:12):
was New York.

got all of that.
Bob Dylan, all that Grittyfolk city vibe still going on

Larry (31:17):
All there.
That recharges my batteries likenothing else because I'm born
and raised in New York City.
But getting back to this is that I wantedthe world to be the way I wanted it to
be, and I couldn't will the world toform the way I wanted it to be around me.
Now, I don't think I'm a narcissist.
I know I'm selfish.
I know that I want whatI want, when I want it,

(31:38):
and
I don't think I was reading the room.
My dad said it, it hurt becauseit triggered something in

me.
Mm.

Larry (31:44):
He was a mirror.
I
was in a space where I, quitdrinking and I said, I need clarity.
I am a depressed personand my life just sucks.
My wife is touring the world, I'm not.
I've been a drunk for forever.
So I have to give myself some gracewith the fact that I didn't have
clarity and I, worked half cocked,if you will, for a whole career.

(32:08):
'Cause I was a fricking drunk.
I absolutely have talent.
I absolutely know that thereare records with great songs.
I mean, there's fans to prove it.
I've sold some records.
I have songs right now thatare on television shows.
I mean, there is stuff out there that Ican look at and say there is some success.
But I was miserable because I keptthinking if I'm not rich and famous like

(32:29):
I wanted to be, you know, if I'm not KISS,you know, if I'm not, I mean, those are
the things that I grew up wanting to be a
Rock Star.

It is okay that you wanted to be

Larry (32:36):
KISS.
Thank you.
But then I started to look inward and Istarted to quiet and I started to read
and I started to study and I startedto remember, I started to remember that
all of this stuff is outside of me.
Like we talked about.
All of this stuff that I wantto make me happy has nothing
to do with me on my core.
My soul, my inside.

(32:56):
And so I quiet down and I startedlistening, and I started listening.
And the reason why I can sit here with youright now is because I started listening.

What were you listening to?
Or a better question cause when westart to listen, what were you hearing?

Larry (33:12):
I was hearing humanity, and I was hearing the other person, and I
was hearing my own voice, the innerchild that was angry at the moment.
And I can move through it.
Or joyful at the moment, like for noreason or the quiet, the space that's
in between where there's nothing.
You know, there's space in betweenwhere there's quiet and we're so,

(33:32):
programmed to have to do something.

Fill that void.

Larry (33:35):
I spent so much time trying to be somebody, Ram Das talks about this.
I spent my whole lifein Somebody Training.
I'm going to be Somebody, I'm a Rockstar,I'm a Photographer, I'm a Therapist,
and now I'm in Nobody Training.
I don't mean it as I'm putting myselfdown, like I'm a nobody, but I want to be
somebody that is a part of my community.

(33:57):
I want to be somebody that listensto people, somebody that is available
to my loved ones, and to my own self.
And the happiness that I have foundby not tap dancing for everybody else.
The happiness that was already there.
You know what I heardwhen I was listening?
I was walking my dogand I was at the park.
I remembered I had this vision andI was a little boy and I was back

(34:17):
in the park and I was safe and I washappy and everything was perfect.
And there I was 53.
This happened this past year,and I was the same space of joy,
peace, calm, and I was safe.
And that's what the listening hasafforded me to do because I am a
nonstop party, fun talk, perform,all of that stuff all out there.

(34:41):
And I'm just.
So grateful to be able to turn themicrophone on and create some space where
I'm doing a radio show on Lightning100 with Nonprofits Community Corner,
letting other people tell their stories.
I want to hear your story, JeffFasano because your story enlightens
me and is, shows me what lifeis for you and I learn about me.

My story,
is being who we are.
That has been what I want to do.
Yeah.
I've done some great things andphotographed some incredible people,
but it wasn't even about photo.
One of the things that
my
friend Ron Baker, he talked about,life being, a series of experiences.
And What I realized is that
I
was not allowing myself to experiencewhat you and I are doing right now.

(35:27):
When I
saw you Sunday night at theexperience of hanging with Larry.
And I realized like, wow, I'mlooking beyond the moment of the
experience in the moment by allowingmyself to have the experience
and being
me in the experience.
Damn,
That is so challenging.

(35:48):
It has been my challenge to justbe Which is what you just said,
I don't have to do anything.
I don't have to show you thesegreat images that I shot of you.
Look how good this is.
Do you love me?
Yeah.
I did that.
I probably still do that.
I'm probably always gonna do thatbecause there's always that part
of my wounding that's still there.
The biggest challenge is I amperfect being imperfectly, being me.

(36:14):
And then as I'm being,
I
can have this experience becausethe thing about what's important,
and Robert said this, most of us,when we get to that place, there's
an emptiness inside of ourselves,
that we're trying to fill upfrom outside of ourselves.
I wake up in the morning,I need to do this today.

(36:35):
Why?
Because I'm feeling an emptinessinside of myself and I've gotta do
something to fill that emptiness up.
And then some way, somehow I'm gonnafeel really happy and joyful, right?
Because I've just filled upthe emptiness inside of me.
Yeah.
That shit don't work.

Larry (36:50):
Fill the holes, man.
Fill the holes.

Ron would
always say life is about
feeling
fulfilled.
in each and every moment in theexperience we're having in that moment.
That is incredibly challenging as a humanbeing because I need to get on the road
next week, So I'm filling up this void,this mythical void inside of ourselves.

Larry (37:12):
But it's also the way we are now, especially artists, right?
I mean, if you are not posting andif you're not out there for the
next thing, the next thing, the nextthing, putting out music, putting out
photography, putting out your art.
Right now we are in a space.
We are in a world where there is no justsort of stop look and let's take this in.
We are really onto the next thingreally fast, and we all talk about it.
Social media is a killer of our soul

No doubt,

Larry (37:35):
to an extent, but it's a necessary part of our lives.
But I'm able to have these conversationsand it's not just with the mics on.
You and I connected the othernight and I saw you and you
saw me, and it was like, wow.
And we were both working.
But we both took a moment toreally be with each other.
And it's, that quick.
It's that fulfilling.

(37:55):
It's the kind of thing thatcan happen at every single day.
Moment to moment, breath to breath.
We can find this peaceand find this happiness.
I know that if I go to the supermarketright now and I just look at somebody in
the eye and smile and just nod my head,my world opens up, with so much joy.
Because I connect withanother human being.

(38:17):
I spend a lot of time alone.
My wife goes on tour.
I'm not on the road.
Sometimes I get a gig and I'm out, but I'mhome and I will hide from the world, which
is very scary because I will be alone and
get overwhelmed with depression.
I will get overwhelmed with mythoughts and my fears and my angst
and my despair.
' Cause I have these things.

(38:39):
And the minute I go out of that, which ishard to do, I went out on Sunday night,
I wasn't feeling too happy on Sunday.
And I went to work at 3rdLIndsley and I saw a friend.
I saw you.

Yeah that was cool.

Larry (38:51):
That was cool.
I saw you and you were just you.
That's all you were.
And that was enough.
You weren't Jeff Fasano thisfamous photographer to the stars,
You're Jeff Fasano And I justlike saying Jeff Fasano you know?
You are a phenomenal photographerbecause you're listening, right?
You're, your space is to create the space.
You're, able to create the spacefor others to just be, And you

(39:14):
became, Jeff Fasano in a new season,you're able to capture moments.
You couldn't have done thisin your twenties and thirties?

No frigging way.

Larry (39:22):
I mean, you are able to be quiet
to not bring yourself to the process.
Is that what

it's, please?
here's the thing,

Larry (39:29):
Let me shut up.

Sarah Tomek calls me and says, Jeff, I need new photos.
Nothing about that photo shoot's about me.
It's all about
that
person who has hired me for
their needs.
What I'm bringing to it are mytalents, gifts, and abilities.
Not only as a photographer, but aseverything that has been revealed
to me in 20 years of therapy.

Larry (39:52):
You're in service to the moment,

To the person, to the moment, to what I'm doing.
I am being in service to that band, thatperson, that artist, that Broadway show.
I just shot a musical in New York City inJanuary I'm being in service to that show.

Larry (40:08):
Right.

And because.
I have been
in therapy now for 25 years.
Having checks and balancesin our life with ourselves
that
I've learned, studying metaphysics.
Learned
how to love myself.
And I'm a Reiki Master.
I've studied Life's Tension Therapy, allof that in what I do as a photographer.

(40:32):
So I can create a safe place in thatmoment for the band, for the artist.
And then we're creating a relationshipand then we're taking photographs.
If I didn't meet Robert BakerAnd, and start working on myself,
I
don't even know what would'vehappened in my career.
'cause I would never have gotten in touch.

(40:53):
And worked through all of my
trauma.

Larry (40:55):
You were in service to yourself.
I'll just speak for me.
I served myself for a lifetime andrealized I was not serving anybody else.
And I was only feeding something thatcould never be, I was feeding emotions.
I was feeding fear.

You were feeding wounding.

Larry (41:10):
I was feeding the wounds of my life.
And that just kept going.
And there was no healing.
And serving the moment, serving others.
When I started to serve anybodyor anything other than myself,
my world has now opened up.

The key to doing that and not giving ourselves
away to be loved is we have tolearn how to serve ourselves first.
We have to move from the outerto the inner and then do what
we need to do for ourselves.
Because the only way we can givewithout attachments, without

(41:43):
giving to get and give freely isif the well inside of us is full.

Larry (41:48):
Man, that's the whole interview right there.

We have to realize that it's full.
You don't have to run out to thecorner bar and start drinking to
fill that void, that emptiness.
I'm a nice guy.
I'm a recovering nice guy.
I'm recovering, needing toprove myself all the time.
We're recovering all these partsof ourselves that says, I can give
to you and there's no attachment.

(42:09):
Why?
Because my giving is done freely.
And it's not even up to me how youaccept it, how you don't accept it,
how you reject it, I'm giving to you.
And here it is.

Larry (42:20):
As opposed to the conditions.

All the attachments.
to giving,
oh, I'm giving to you rightnow and you better love me.

Larry (42:27):
Or you better give me this in return.
Hey, if I do this for you, you do this for
me.
Yeah.
When you are photographing some of thesewildly successful and famous people,
what's that like for you to step in?
These are big time people and you'rebringing your bag of life, you're
bringing your experiences, and there'sgotta be times when you're like, wow,
This person is gonna take a lot from me.

What it is, is I'm going back to my therapy of, my
trauma, moving through all of that.
And then all the amazing tools of studyinglight Ascension therapy with Robert Baker
of learning how to allow that person
to be exactly where they are.
And loving them exactly wherethey are in that moment.

(43:11):
Creating a safe place forthem to be crazy and neurotic.
Why?
'cause I've always needed that.
So I'm that person.
Right.
I am that crazy neurotic artistwho has to do a photo shoot with
me that's triggering so much inside
of, I'm
that person.
So the question is like,oh, when was I doing that?
I'm that person right now.

(43:32):
And then you go, okay,so what did I learn?
I have a great story actually about this.
Two photo shoots I did in LA.
One was well-known, well-knownactress, and she was easy.
Lovable, she loved it, she was great.
My friend, Maria was my makeup artist.
it was, peaches and cream.
We,
flowed.
she was amazing.
The photos were great.
The next day I'm doing a magazine shootwith a guy who was on the show, Entourage.

(43:57):
I remember he walks in and it wasmy birthday, and he walks in with a
bottle of wine
says, Jeff, happy birthday.
After that he said I don't likedoing photographs of myself.
And Maria, my makeup artist, Ijust felt her energy go cringe.
And I just said, okay.
I don't know what to do now.
Cause it was a big thing.

(44:17):
We had, some designers suits and
all this
stuff.
And we were on the beach Playa Del Rey.
And,
and
I went, okay.
And I looked at Mariaand she goes, oh man.
Oh, what a downer.
I said, Maria, we have been studying allof this spirituality stuff for years.

Larry (44:32):
Yeah.

One of the main things, it's easy to love the people who
are easy to love, but it's a littlebit more challenging to love the
people are challenging to love.
He's
a wonderful person, he just has his stuff
that's going on.
Good looking guy and stuff like that.
But is triggered when he is gotta do this.
Right.
I said, don't worry about it.

(44:53):
We're gonna have a blast.
Yeah.
So what we can do is like you did whenyou walked in the park, you go off.
And what I do is I just said,okay, Universe, What are the
things that I need to do?
And you let it come to you.
Oh, he's an entertainer.
I'm going to not do the photo shoot here.
I'm
gonna take the dude to Venice Beach.
Hmm.
Have you ever been to Venice Beach?
Very nice.
It is like, you know,walking East Village,

Larry (45:15):
It's a very artistic,

And crazy wild, and crazy place.
Colorful.
So we went there andknow that area so well.
One of the best coffee shops is there,and it's very eclectic and stuff.
And I know the way the lightis and all that good stuff.
And
I sat him down in an areawhere people saw him.
And all of a sudden theywere calling out his name.
Yeah.
Boom.

Larry (45:35):
Oh, he lit up.
Now he lit up.
Yeah.

He was being noticed.
And boom, did that whole thing.
Then I took him to the marina.
for a different look People,oh my God, and he lit up.
All of a sudden he started to enjoy
being
recognized.
For who, you know, for him.
All I did was nurture that all day.
Yeah.
With him.

(45:57):
I said, Maria, just nurture where he is.
He's
not the person we photographed yesterday.
He's who he is.
So we did that, all day, likefor a good three, or four hours.
And all of a sudden at the end, he went,
wow.
That was a wonderful,wonderful experience.
And I said, well, how doyou feel about yourself now?

(46:18):
And he goes, wow, I can do this.
That's what I'm grateful for are thepeople who taught me how to do that.

Larry (46:25):
You're really listening.
You're listening on the deepest level

Forget about me doing a photo shoot.
It's about meeting somebody andsaying that's where they are.

Larry (46:34):
Right.

They're not gonna be who I want them to be.
Right.
They're just gonna be where they are.
Then we know what our needsare, our boundaries are.
And we have
the
amazing
aspect
of discernment that we could use in that
moment,
if in fact we want to have
a relationship
with that person, whateverthat relationship is.

(46:55):
We're in this life of givingourselves a break, to be who we are.
Yeah.
And we're in that place of learning.
It's the biggest thing.
It's what therapy's for tolearning how to love, honor, and
value ourselves where we are.
Why?
So we can love, honor, and valuethe person across from us where they

Larry (47:14):
Hmm.

That's how we live in equality, harmony,
peace, all inclusiveness.

Larry (47:20):
I'm so impressed by the fact that you're a middle aged man
able to have this conversation.
We don't speak about these thingsand I'm finding that the more I speak
to some of my man friends is like,just scratch the surface and we're
all wanting to talk about this stuff.
We're all feeling, I feellike there's a surge.
There's something in the universe.
There's something going on now
where we're saying, I'm not happy.

(47:42):
And I'm speaking to a lot of people thatI'm either friendly with or just getting
to know that are saying the same thing.
I'm not happy that I've beenblaming it on everything outside.
Wait a minute.
Slow down.
What's going on inside?
This is a conversation that weneed to keep having Jeff Fasano it.

It's why I facilitate a men's group every
Monday night here in Nashville.
It's why I'm doing a workshopwith my friend Randy Cook
right now, based upon the book.
No More Mr.
Nice Guy.
Really help men, know that they're safe.
It's a safe place for mento feel their feelings,
Have their needs to express themselves.

(48:18):
I just shut it all down,internalized it so everybody
else will be happy if I do that.
Which is, a form of narcissism, by the

Larry (48:25):
way.

It's all about me.
If I take care of yourneeds, it's all about
me.

Larry (48:28):
Ah.
So I am a narcissist.
Ah,
come

That's
Narcissist thing.
We all are.
And the reason why is because awounded child, a 5-year-old child,
the whole world revolves around that5-year-old child, and they think
that.
That right.
Thing to remember isthat when we're triggered
and
We're reacting, if we're living inMindfulness, and Mindful Self-compassion

(48:52):
to realize and differentiatebetween the wounded child and the
adult.

Larry (48:57):
Wow.

And the adult making adult choices.
Because Larry, that woundedchild has been running our life.
The wounded child inside of us that'sgonna lash out and point fingers and
project that you made me feel this.
And I had to go, what isthat triggering inside of
For men we're at a point
in
our evolutionary processas a frigging species.

(49:21):
That if men could begin to bring itwithin and know that they're safe
to have their feelings, to cry,to feel sad, to feel depressed,
to feel and then talk to somebody about
it.
And
express it.
It's not gonna make you any less manly.
Right.
He's
got

Larry (49:39):
quotes, he's got quotes in the air

It's about, moving through that Toxic

Larry (49:43):
Yeah.
When I'm at my
freest
form person.
When I'm feeling and I'mfeeling safe, I'm a great lover.
I'm a great husband, I'm a great musician.
I can go into something that I don'teven know how to do and feel like,
i'm gonna give this a shot.
It's freedom because Ifeel like I found myself.
There's a quote here from AlanCohen from a great book called The

(50:05):
Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore.
" Our strengths lie within us, andit is only our permission that
can activate their expression.
Our problem is not that weare weak, but that we do not
believe that we are strong."
And that's a big deal.
To believe that we are strong,
That we are empoweredjust by being who we are.

People talk about abundance.
Yeah.
We are our abundance.
My Challenge, this could be a challengefor many, many people and probably one
of the reasons why I'm still single.
At 67, my challenge is receiving love.
It's frightening
for me to open my heart andmove into that vulnerability.

(50:45):
Mm.
To open my heart like my cat does, androll on her back and have so much trust
that I pet her and she starts purring.
I wanna do that.
It is still a challenge for me tobe in the moment, the experience
in the moment when somebody says, I
Love you, I care for you.
You're an amazing person.

(51:05):
And be there.
It's terrifying for me to be in thatplace And open my heart to receive it,
and
Then let it touch me.
Been a challenge myentire life to trust that.

Larry (51:18):
I'll tell you, you're single, the first problem is get rid of the cat.
Okay.
Nobody,

I have Three.

Larry (51:23):
Yeah.
That's your problem.
Okay.
I'm single.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's beautiful that the cat, allowsitself to be loved and all that.
Get rid of the cats.
Get yourself a nice puppy.
You'll have as many girlfriendsas you could ever possibly want.
Okay.
But in all seriousness, that's sucha huge, huge point you're making
because we validate ourselves byhow much we give, especially as men.

(51:43):
Right.
My father has not theability to be an emotionally,
loving person all the time.
But he knows how to give inhis way, and that's money.
It's like his way of givingis just what he knows.
Receiving?
That's not even a word.
You know, like, we're just programmed;if I give, then I will be loved.
I don't have money to give.
I can give of you all of myself untilI'm like a raisin dried out and spent.

(52:06):
I have not taken care of myselfand I have not done any receiving.
But receiving Jeff Fasano, you'retalking about something that we don't do.
We don't allow,
we don't get to the quietplace where we can receive.
And it's so important andI'm thrilled for you to
receive.
Well,

What I'm learning is the way in which I deflect.
My friend Alex, Yeah.
Who turned me on to Robert Bakercalled me on, uh, Tuesday for my
birthday.
And we have been througheverything together.
Every type of relationship.
We created consciously therelationship we have now.
And She is telling me how muchshe loves me and man, I'm on

(52:40):
the other end of the phone.
I'm feeling my energycome up to deflect it all.
And I said, I just need tohear this and receive it.
And then feel and allow thatfrightened little 7-year-old boy who
doesn't even know how to do that.
What that 7-year-old boy is hearing isthat you are saying this to me right now,

(53:03):
which means you want something from me.

Larry (53:05):
That's huge.

And that is a trauma and conditioning inside of me
that I deal with all the time.
I am learning.
And I
just said to her, I said, I'mlearning how to receive this.

Larry (53:17):
In real time.

Right now I'm learning how to receive.
This is
still a challenge for me to receive whatyou're telling me and the love you're
energetically giving to me right now.
What I'm thinking, and she knows this.
Alex, I feel like youwant something from me.
She goes, what's coming up right now?
I feel like you want something from me.
In my mind I know

(53:39):
that
is still in process within me.
To
feel safe in that
moment to receive
this
love and not keep life at arms length.

Larry (53:52):
You're still doing the work.
Yeah.
That's the part of this,everybody, anybody, all of us,
is that the work continues.
It's the most rewardingwork one could ever do.

It's the most courageous thing that we can do in this lifetime.
Is to open the door to ourselves.

Larry (54:09):
Wow.
Thank you.
You're wonderful.
Yeah.
I learned a lot from you, my friend.

Ditto.
Hey guys.
I Just want, if, if there are, men yes.
Listening
to this.
Mm-hmm.
Listen to Larry and I speak to each other.

Larry (54:24):
Yeah.

Men, If you're having a challenge Of opening your eyes up
I'm gonna start crying right Because
Larry
and I have just connected,
I
feel on such a heartfelt
basis I'm that you are allowed to feel Youare allowed to open your heart and feel

Larry (54:45):
that it's okay

And it's okay
to
be where you are.
Wow.
With all of this.
I'm feeling incrediblyfulfilled and with joy right now
in these feelings that are coming up.
And just to let you know that youcan feel safe with another guy and
opening your hearts to it, and you'restill have your masculine energy.

(55:10):
Because we
all have the masculine andfeminine energy inside of us.
It's about defining whatthat is for you and feel.
Feel the connection with anotherperson and you're still a guy.

Larry (55:22):
Yeah.
And you're alive.

yeah.

Larry (55:24):
Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do it.
Because what the world needsis people who have come alive.
That's Howard Thurman, American author,philosopher, theologian Christian,
mystic educator, civil rights leader.
You make me come alive, sir.

Ditto.

Larry (55:40):
Thank you.
I can't tell you how much Iappreciate this conversation and
it's something that's been comingup over and over and over again.
And I want to continue this, especiallywith men and I want to continue this.
but I do have some questions for you.
What fascinates you?

What fascinates me in, my life Are watching
artists create their art.
I love hanging out with artists.
I love knowing what their process is.
Um,
and I was afforded that opportunitywith a new magazine in New York
many years ago, Gotham Magazine.
I wanted to shoot

(56:12):
musicians
and actors and they said,no, we have these sections.
And I got to meet chefs, architects,
authors,
interior designers.
It blew my mind.
So I am fascinated bythe artistic process.
Watching how artists create, I'vebeen fortunate enough to work

(56:32):
on Broadway shows from the firsttable reading and watching it
become
a show on Broadway.
Nothing fascinates me more andthen being in the studio with a
band or an artist making a record.
It blows my mind.

Larry (56:45):
Wow.
What angers you?
What pisses you off
Fasano

What angers me is people not caring about other people.
It triggers anger inside of me when I seepeople come across people who don't care.

Larry (56:58):
That pisses me off too.

Who don't care about other people.

Larry (57:01):
What brings you joy.

Music, art, Broadway,
artists.
When
my friend Donna came up to meand says, what do you wanna
do this photography thing for?
It's, I love music and I, nota musician, but I love music.
It brings me so much joy.
And that's what brings me so much joy.
Then my talents, gifts, and abilities asa photographer when I'm doing it, brings
me a hell of amount, I am in another levelof consciousness, when I'm doing that.

(57:27):
I always to say, bombs could be goingoff all around me, and I'm in this state
of consciousness of pure frigging joy.

Larry (57:33):
If you had a magic wand and you could fix something, make it better, I got
this Fasano on the case, what would it be?
What would you do?

Okay, within me?
Opening my heart and allowingmyself to receive love and
feel like my feelings about it.
Out in the world.
Opening people's consciousnessto themselves to love, honor,
and value themselves so they caremore about their fellow human.

Larry (57:59):
Amazing.
And now the big one,Jeff Fasano Toilet paper.
Over or under?

Over

.. Larry (58:04):
You're darn right.
And this is from a cat guy.
Oh, good.

Oh, good.

Larry (58:06):
Jeff Fasano I love you.

I love you too,

Larry (58:08):
You're the photographer to the Stars.
You have a published book, AmericanaPortrait Sessions, a Fine Art Book.
It is a book of intimate portraitsthat reveal the strengths, heart,
soul, and musical genius of wonderfulartists that are in the Americana world.
What a beautiful book.
If you don't have thebook, folks, go buy it.
How do we get in touch with you?

My website, jeff@jeffasano.com.
Check me out on Instagram and Facebook.
I don't do TikTok or
of that other shit.

Larry (58:35):
When I grow up, I want to be you, Jeff Fasano
Thanks so much.
Alright, man.
you so much.
This was great.
Thanks for listening to the JustKeep Talking podcast with me, Brother
Love, because Your Story matters.
Until next time, bye-bye.

Brother Love (58:47):
You can personally support this show simply by clicking
the tip link in the show notes.
The Just Keep Talking podcast is nowavailable on all podcast platforms.
Please like, share, and subscribe.
Visit our website@justkeeptalking.com,
our YouTube channel,@justkeeptalkingpodcast and
Instagram @thejustkeeptalkingpodcast.

(59:08):
We all just want to be seen,to be heard and to belong.
Thank you so much for supportingmy mission and the Just Keep
Talking podcast with me, BrotherLove, because your story matters.

All Episodes

Jeff Fasano's Journey from Corporate to Creative | Just Keep Talking podcast

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Crime Junkie

24/7 News: The Latest

Stuff You Should Know

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Jeff Fasano's Journey from Corporate to Creative | Just Keep Talking podcast