March 11, 2025 • 36 mins
What if your life purpose isn't just one single destination, but rather the entire journey and all its unexpected twists? After finally reading The Alchemist—a book my estranged father gave me nearly two decades ago—I've had a profound realization about what it means to discover and pursue your "personal legend."
Most of us put immense pressure on ourselves to identify that one perfect calling or purpose. But what I'm learning is that our personal legends evolve and shift throughout our lives. Every role I've ever played—from housekeeper to musician to coach to podcast host—has been a crucial chapter in my story, teaching me skills I couldn't have learned any other way.
The synchronicity can be mind-blowing when you commit to your personal legend. Just days after deciding to return to music after years away, my original drummer—someone I hadn't seen in years—unexpectedly reappeared in my life. These aren't coincidences; they're confirmation that everything truly is "written by the same hand."
When you declare that you want a big, abundant life, understand that this requires making space—and sometimes that means things will fall apart first. These moments feel like tests, and how you respond to them shapes your journey. Will you pass the test? Will you trust the process even when it's uncomfortable?
Your personal legend might not be one single thing but rather a beautiful tapestry of all your gifts, passions, and experiences. Don't limit yourself to one lane or identity when you have multiple forms of expression within you. Life is too short for regret and wondering "what if." Raise your hand, ask the question, try the thing—and trust that it's all working out for you, even when it doesn't feel like it in the moment.
What's your personal legend calling you to do? Whatever it is, know that the journey itself—not just the destination—is where you'll find your treasure.
Grab your copy of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho on Amazon here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
many hurdles, so many what feel like tests.
But what I'm finding is thatwhen you say I want it, I want
it big, that sounds kind ofdirty.
I want a big life, I have bigplans, I have big goals.
And then you say and I want itquickly or as soon as possible.
How else can you make room forall that without shit falling
(00:22):
apart, without some thingsdissipating and leaving your
life in order to make room forall that abundance that you
claim you want?
Some shit's going to fall apartfirst and in the moment, in
finding and pursuing yourpersonal legend, it's going to
(00:42):
feel like a fucking test.
Personal legend it's going tofeel like a fucking test.
And in those moments Iliterally just got off the phone
with my friend Nicole and it'slike it feels like a test, right
.
And if you choose to see itthat way, are you going to pass
the test?
Let's be real, are you going topass it?
(01:04):
Ladies and gentlemen?
Ladies and gentlemen, you'relistening to just women talking
shit with your host, jacquelineCotton.
Jacqueline Cotton hey,jacqueline, here we are going to
(01:26):
be recording a live episode ofJust Women Talking Shit.
Here's the funny thing is, Iwas just live on here and when I
was recording, I completelyforgot what I was supposed to
talk about.
So I just sat and talked aboutlife for quite a while and then
I totally remembered what I wasgoing to talk about.
So now I'm back to talk aboutwhat I was going to talk about.
So now I'm back to talk aboutwhat I was supposed to talk
about the first time, and thatis pursuing your personal legend
(01:50):
, what that means, what it lookslike, and also overcoming the
obstacles that you will for surehave to overcome, because you
will face them.
So I recently read.
When I say I recently read, Istarted this book forever ago,
but I recently read and finishedthe Alchemist, such a great
(02:12):
book, and if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
If you're near me and want toborrow this, you can borrow it.
But this book is something thatmy dad gave me whenever I saw
him.
I want to say it was when I was18 or 19, maybe anywhere from
17 to I want to say 17, 18,somewhere around there, and I
(02:37):
got to visit him.
I hadn't seen him in a verylong time.
Just so I'll catch you up realquick.
My dad and I don't have arelationship.
We are not close.
I barely.
I don't have a relationship.
We are not close.
I barely, I don't even know.
The last time I talked to himit was through email, but my dad
and I don't have a relationship.
And so we left when I was eightand I saw him one time, one,
two times when I was 16.
(02:58):
And then I got to see him againwhen I was I want to say, 18,
which is when I took a greyhound.
I took my brother and my sisterand we went to visit my
grandfather because I knew hewas not doing well and I hadn't
seen him in a very long time.
So they were finally closeenough and in one place long
enough.
And we were in one place, longenough to where we were both at
the same time, just a state ortwo away, and we went to visit.
(03:22):
Since then I've seen my dad once, maybe twice, and I'm turning
36.
But whenever I was at thatweird spot 17, 18, and I got to
see him, he bought me this book,not this one in particular.
I wish to God I still had theoriginal copy that he got me,
but it was a leather version ofthis and he told me he's like
(03:50):
everybody calls me Jackie on onmy mom's side of the family and
it drives me crazy.
But all right, I see on mymom's side, but my dad too and
he bought it and he was likethis is, this is the book that
you need to read.
Everything will make sense now.
17 year old me did not give twoshits about that at the time.
I knew I'd get to when I got toit.
Never knew when I was going toget to it.
Apparently, the time'd get toit when I got to it never knew
when I was going to get to it.
Apparently, the time to get toit was when I was on this cruise
and I started reading it and Ifinished it the other day when I
was on the treadmill and therewere so many weird things, so
(04:14):
many weird things throughoutthis book because throughout
this book, throughout the timethat I had to really reflect
while I'm literally watching theocean pass me by, and then not
having this want or this realability to stay on my phone
because of being out of service.
We had Wi-Fi but the Wi-Fi wasshit y'all and the only thing I
(04:37):
was really worried about was myson because he wasn't doing
super well.
He was coughing a lot just kindof sick.
Weather in Mississippifluctuates and so does our
health, and he was experiencinga little bit of that feeling
fucked up from the weather.
So of course it would happenwhenever I'm literally out of
(04:57):
the country and I can't get tohim and I'm worried about it.
So there was that.
But outside that, I focused onthis book and my free time and I
just was like so between thisand the disconnect from social
media and the trying to stay offsocial media, and I started
feeling like there was a senseof relief for not having.
(05:20):
I felt like I got a permissionslip to quit worrying about
business, to quit worrying aboutmy clients, to just quit, take
a fucking breather.
I had the excuse I'd alreadygotten in touch with all my
clients, everybody knew where Iwas at, I was not going to be
reachable, et cetera, and itjust felt like the first time in
a long time where I could relax.
And in the relaxing I foundmyself just really asking myself
(05:44):
what still makes you happy,jacqueline?
What do you miss?
What would life look like ifyou weren't worried about money
anymore and if you quit worryingso much about building this
company?
And so I focus in on the manyfacets of Jacqueline.
There are seasons of me, thereare different versions of me.
I have different personalities.
(06:04):
I have different passions.
I can play music.
I'm also an artist.
I used to paint.
I love books.
I love learning.
I'm good with my hands buildingthings.
I'm good in person.
I'm a great speaker.
I make people feel loved.
There's just so many things Iwant to do and I found myself at
the core of everything was justlike many things I want to do
(06:25):
and I found myself at the coreof everything was just like I
just want to connect with people.
It's all it's ever been.
So everything I do is me tryingto connect with people.
And in this book, all he wantsto do is fulfill and find, or
find and fulfill his personallegend.
It's about this young boy who'sa shepherd and he has this wild
(06:49):
dream, and let me tell yousomething about the dream part.
I've been having recurringdreams.
I've even spoken to y'all aboutthese dreams, wondering if
anybody can help me decipherthese weird fucking dreams.
We can talk about the dreams ina minute.
But he has this dream aboutthere being this treasure that
he needs to discover and find inthe pyramids of egypt, and so
(07:12):
he sets out on a quest with hissheep and along his quest he
meets different people thatconfirm his personal legend is
to find this treasure.
And so he is faced withadversities, he is faced with
getting robbed.
This poor boy goes through helland back, but each and every
time he's able to sense what Godis trying to tell him.
(07:37):
How can I see every singlething that gets taken from me,
robbed from me and that I haveto recreate and do over.
How is that actually a blessing?
And in doing so he learns thelanguage of the world, the
language that anything andeverything understands, the
language of the universe, thelanguage of God.
(07:57):
And that is love.
That, no matter what languageyou speak, you are able to
recognize when someone is a harm, is a threat, but also whenever
there is good energy andthey're there to help you.
And we can communicate in a waywith nature, with animals, with
God, with source right.
And it's all about finding andfulfilling his personal legend.
(08:18):
He was thinking his personallegend was to find the treasure,
but the personal legend was thewhole journey to finding the
treasure.
And that in itself just blew mymind, because we tend to think
that we have one purpose and wework towards that purpose and
that one thing, that one biggoal, right, and that goal could
(08:39):
be to be a millionaire.
That's a really basic.
When people are like I want tobe rich, right, I'm guilty of
that, I've been too attached tothat lately.
To be a millionaire, that's areally basic.
When people are like I want tobe rich, right, I'm guilty of
that, I've been too attached tothat lately.
And I'm finding that thereisn't one thing that we must
fulfill.
There are so many differentjobs, roles, so many different
things that will happen alongthe way, that we will learn
(09:03):
along the way that we couldn'thave learned any other way, and
so it was really aboutunderstanding that the personal
legend that you seek is found inthe journey of getting there.
That's what I took from this,and that if you can just release
control, if you can release thejob, if you can release how
(09:25):
you're actually going to helppeople, if you can release how
you're going to get to the endresult, and just see every
single fuck up, every time youget a debit from your account,
every time that you getfrustrated or pissed off, you
could see every opportunity asan opportunity to learn, to grow
(09:46):
to learn the language of theworld, instead of being so stuck
on how man thinks is going tohappen.
You notice that everything iswritten by the same hand.
Everything is written by thesame hand.
Whatever you call the power,the source, I don't give a shit
what you call it, I don't carewhat your religion is, I don't
(10:09):
care what you think yourpersonal legend is.
We all feel that there is apurpose for our lives and it's
about figuring out what thatpurpose is.
And the only way you everfigure out any of the purposes
that's the first thing I want tosay is that we get so stuck.
What is my mission?
What is my purpose?
God will use you in so manydifferent ways.
(10:31):
Along the way, you will graduateto a different level.
You will, you will one year,you might.
You might be.
I'm going to give myself.
For instance.
I thought for the longest time Ididn't know what I want to be
when I grow up, I thought forthe longest time I didn't know
what I want to be when I grow up.
I thought for the longest timethat I was a nobody and that I
would always be the hired helpRight.
(10:51):
And it all came full circle onthis cruise when we were
finishing up with our excursionand they were asking for tips.
And they were asking for tipsand I remember being the help.
But it's the way that Claudia,one of our tour guides, said it
(11:14):
and it was that if you find itin your heart to give us
anything extra, know that we'resaving so that we can do things
like this, like go on a cruise.
They hadn't even ever lefttheir area and it made me
realize how fortunate I am,because I remember being the
girl who was going behind peoplepicking stuff up and waiting
the tables and getting yelled at.
(11:35):
And I remember being so shy andinsecure and I would fuck up
people's orders and I'd getyelled at, I'd cry in the middle
of the establishment anddropping things.
And I remember cleaning housesand I'd go into houses where I'd
have to clean maggots and I putmyself in really also really
weird positions because I didn'tunderstand what good work
(11:59):
conditions were.
I didn't understand or reallyeven recognize when I was being
taken advantage of in workplaces, even because I was so used to
people pleasing.
But I was, for the longest time, a servant.
I was, for the longest time,the help.
I've been honest with you guysand told you that I dabbled in
sex work.
Right, I've done some thingsthat I'm not proud of.
But along the way making thosemistakes but along the way
(12:23):
making those mistakes, I metpeople that taught me life
lessons I could never learnotherwise.
I learned to read energy.
I learned to keep myself safe.
I learned my worth.
I had to be at the bottom toever get to where I am now, and
there's still a lot of work todo, a lot of work to do right.
(12:44):
And there's still a lot of workto do, a lot of work to do
right.
So all I'm saying is is we tendto put a lot of pressure on
ourselves, thinking that thereis one final destination, one
final reward, and it is thewhole fucking journey along the
way.
So what does it mean to findyour personal legend?
I'm continuously finding mypersonal legend.
I could be a housekeeper yearsago.
(13:05):
I could be a sex worker lateron, and I can still be a speaker
.
I can still be a top podcasthost around the world.
I can still start my own.
Whatever it is I want to do,there's still time.
I always think of Tina Fey.
She didn't really start gettinga start on her professional
life until she was in her 40s.
Well, I'm only.
(13:26):
I'm just now about turn 36.
How old are you?
There's still time for you too.
So what did you think about whenyou were little?
I really want you to thinkabout that, because I always
thought that I wasn't going toget to be what I wanted to be
when I grew up.
I've always thought I didn'tknow what I wanted to be when I
grew up, but it turns out I'mgetting to be all of them.
So when I was really, reallylittle, I thought that my
(13:48):
personal legend was to be aphysician.
Then it graduated to.
I wanted to be a psychiatristor a therapist of some sort.
Then later on, it became.
I thought I was going to be aprofessional and famous musician
.
I started singing gospel inchurch.
That took me to other places.
I started bands.
(14:09):
I got to record in New YorkCity, right.
So from there I was like oh,reality set in.
I got to go to college.
So I went to college.
I thought I was going to be afilmmaker, right.
And while I was filmmaking Idiscovered being a nanny.
I discovered what it was liketo work at a burger shop that
was called Good Burger.
It was a real thing.
But I also got the opportunityto nearly give myself alcohol
(14:33):
poisoning.
I went through an entireexperience that I it forever, to
this day, haunts me, so that Iwill never become an alcoholic
again ever.
Now I know that sounds kind ofscary, but it was a scary time
in my life.
But had I not experienced it, Iwould maybe still be an
alcoholic, I don't know.
So what I'm saying is like I'vebeen all these things and it
(14:55):
doesn't mean that I can't stillbe what I want to be.
So like is your personal legend?
It's probably like acombination of things Throughout
a lifetime right, the roaring20s fucking thing.
So we it's I think about.
I used to think of myself as achameleon, a chameleon in life.
(15:16):
I would just come.
This is the wall I'm on, I'mturning, I'm gonna look like
some brick and when we applythat to like life situations, if
I was around people who weredrinking a lot, I'm gonna
fucking party.
If I was around people who werereally negative, I I'm going to
sit and talk shit.
Basically, I found Real quickhow to fit in with anybody, how
(15:40):
to be that flower on the wall,how to stay out of trouble, but
how to also fit in whennecessary.
So that has actually served tomy advantage To an extent.
All the things that I Labeledmyself as and I put down on
myself as You're a boyfriend,chameleon, or you're this and
this and this, I didn't know atthe time.
I was learning to read energy.
(16:00):
I was learning to build rapport.
I was learning how to carry onconversation.
I was learning to perform.
I was learning how to shift myentire identity, which at the
time was a survival instinct foryour survival tactic.
Really, right now, you can reada room.
(16:20):
I can read a room.
I can tell who the mostpowerful person in the room is.
I can.
I know who to go and speak to.
I know how to carry myself,confidence.
I know when to be loosey,goosey and have fun Right, and
whenever it comes to like I cango and I can, I think I could
speak on any stage.
Would it intimidate me?
Yes, but I know.
Now I have the ability to kindof you, tap into this other
(16:42):
world.
So, like things that I thoughtwere disserving me or not doing
anything for me, like learninghow to read the energy, learning
how to read a room, being achameleon so that I could
satisfy and people, please.
Now it's actually a skill setthat I can use to my advantage.
So, along the way, finding mypersonal legend, which I truly
(17:04):
think is just spreading light inthe world in the most authentic
way, humanizing being human.
That's what I'm here to do isto humanize being human and have
fun along the way, becauseeverything is evolution,
everything is evolution.
You are forever evolving and itis wild to fucking think that
(17:26):
you could just fit in one box,one box forever, that you should
always stay the same, andthat's your personal legend too.
Like book will change your life.
My dad gave it to me when I was17, 18.
I'd keep going between 17, 19.
I can't remember how fuckingold I was, to be honest.
But he gave it to him and hetold me read it and it'll change
your life.
And again, being young, I waslike, okay, just the fucking
(17:47):
book.
Dad, 35 years old, picked it upat the right time, the perfect
time, when I was questioning myown personal legend.
God, what am I here for?
Am I really supposed to be justonly focusing on business
coaching?
I sure do miss the music.
I sure do miss the feeling thatI would get walking across the
(18:08):
stage telling my story throughmusic.
Do you want to know whathappened?
I'm going to get reallyemotional.
I, on wednesday of this week,that I was going to start
playing music again, that Iwould start writing music again,
that I would start performingagain.
A certain person came to my mind.
His name is chad perry.
(18:29):
Chad perry shout out to myfriend chad perry.
I thought of him and I thoughtyou know he used to have an open
mic.
I wonder what he's been up to.
I shit you not.
Two days later, I go to havedinner and celebrate my
stepson's 16th birthday.
Guess who's there playing musicthat night?
My friend, fucking Chad Perry.
(18:50):
I thought nothing of it and Ithought, whoa, what a
coincidence.
What a coincidence.
I thought nothing of it and Ithought, whoa, what a
coincidence.
What a coincidence.
He takes his entire 15-minutebreak to come talk to me
afterwards and I talked to himand I was like I really wouldn't
want to get back into music.
Ever since my daughter's daddied, I've just been on complete
hiatus and I may pick my guitarup.
It's a fucking year and it'sreally a disservice to the world
(19:13):
, because I have literallywatched people's hearts start to
mend in front of me when theyhear my music, and I can never
explain the feeling that givesyou when you see and hear
someone say I needed to hearyour song tonight.
I felt it in my soul and that'swhat music can do, that's what
speaking on stage can do, that'swhat your story in a book can
(19:37):
do, that's what you coaching orhowever it is that you choose to
show up into the world and seekand fulfill your personal
legend, which your personallegend could just be to spread
love and happiness.
And throughout your life youhave different jobs that teach
you and help you up level sothat you can better serve as you
grow, so that as you grow, youcan reach more people and teach
(20:00):
more people, but also hold theenergy and have the capacity for
all those people you help.
If you could just seeeverything you do it's like a
little piece in the game andjust learn from every experience
, the good and the bad, youwould see that it's all there.
It's always been there.
(20:20):
My love for music, my love forhelping people, my love for
healing, my love for speaking,entertaining it's always been
there.
My mama has videos of meperforming.
I've always been this person.
I just it's.
I'm in full circle, owning it,doing all these shit jobs that
really you didn't want to do butdid, and because you thought
(20:41):
you were supposed to.
You know, eat this normal life,go to school, graduate, get the
job, pay off the debt, drivethe, the lease, you know the
cookie, cutter home, like it'sokay to admit.
If that doesn't fulfill you andthat's not all you want, you
can have more and you can havethe best of the best if you
really want that can also bepart of your personal legend,
like you don't have to scrape byto be a good person and to do
(21:02):
good in the world.
I can be abundant in so manyways, and so when I'm, when I
chatted with with Chad, theweirdest fucking thing happened.
He said Brad's back in town orsaid no, you'll never, you'll
never believe who's back, and Iwas like who.
And when he said brad, brad'sback in town, I was like I don't
(21:24):
understand brad, who he waslike you're brad, and it was
like this.
It was so weird, it was likefucking flashback, like whole
life that I've completely burieddown came back and I said wait,
my Brad.
He said you're Brad, your olddrummer, brad.
(21:45):
And I was just like I genuinelyto protect myself.
I realized in that moment toprotect myself I had not allowed
myself to think about thisperson because he left when
Finley, his dad and I weretogether.
He and I the whole way we metwas we played, I played music,
(22:06):
he played music and his thirdcousin, who I met, thought that
we would get along or we wouldlike each other, and so she
introduced us.
And then we just got intoplaying music but fell in love
while we were playing music andso we fell in love.
We're playing music.
We form a band.
Brad was the drummer in our band.
Brad was there throughout ourwhole pregnancy.
(22:27):
I literally have a picture ofhim holding my daughter.
We called him Uncle Brad.
He was Finley's dad's bestfriend.
He was my best friend.
He was like brother.
And when Finley's dad startedgetting more bad off, brad left.
He knew.
I think he told me he knew thathe was struggling, but I don't
(22:49):
think he knew like that off itwas.
But he moved, he left and hewent to Colorado and we were
super happy for him.
We took some time and we didn'tplay with anybody, we just he
and I played as a duo and we didall of our gigs as a duo and
then we started, as we started,to heal and it was really
emotional because it was likehard to replace Brad because he
(23:11):
was like, like I said, like abrother and honestly it took it.
It took, I would say it took acouple years before we ever
really started playing withanybody else.
But we formed a new band and westarted playing out like some
stuff and um the years I've justkind of out brad.
You tried looking him up and Icouldn't find him on social
media and so I just gave up andit's almost like I, I guess,
(23:34):
wanted to protect myself in away.
And then when Clay died,finley's dad when he died, I
especially was just like I gavemusic up.
I was like I can't, I'm not,I'm not feeling remotely
inspired.
All I will probably write aboutis death.
Here's my album about death.
So when he said that it wasjust like what the fuck?
(23:56):
He said he was back and he sentme his number and I sent him a
text and the very next fuckingday he comes over and he meets
my husband and he meets finleywho, when he left finley was
this big, just a little nugget.
Now she's a whole 12 piece.
(24:18):
And it's just wild how, when youmake the proclamation and you,
just you allow yourself to goafter what you want, like the
music, I'm ready.
I'm ready.
So much love and hurt andevolution is about to come out
(24:39):
of me through this music and tohave he moved away across the
country.
I didn't think I'd ever see himagain.
To have my original drummerback, what the fuck?
That is not coincidence.
Y'all that is not.
You cannot tell me that's acoincidence.
It is all written by the samehand and he, he even said
himself I didn't want to comeback.
Something just keeps pulling meback and we, just our minds are
(25:03):
just.
My mind is fucking blown.
So here it is.
I'm making.
I told myself, I'm stillcoaching.
I will forever be a coach.
But my love is my podcast.
It is being in front of people,it is helping people, it is
speaking, it is laughing, it ishealing, it is it's me, I am the
(25:28):
, I am the business model and Iwill monetize that.
If you love me and you lovewhat I have to offer, you'll
love my music.
You'll love my coaching, you'lllove the short film that I put
out, you'll love my comedy.
If you love me, I'm pretty sureyou'll love everything I do,
(25:50):
and if it's not, if that's cool,if not.
But there are so many differentversions of me that I've been
hiding for so long, thinking Ihave to fit in this box.
And even coaching does that.
It puts me in a box.
I can't just teach about onething and one thing forever.
I've done that the past sixmonths and I'm already burnt out
.
What is that?
I have to recognize that partof my personal legend is to
(26:13):
entertain.
It is to keep it fresh, it's tokeep it interesting, and at
least I'm going to tell myselfthat that's why I have multiple
personalities.
Oh, that's because you wantednumerous streams of income, and
so you got your business side,you got your comedy side, you've
got your.
That's just what I'm going tokeep telling myself.
Okay, you're going to comeacross like so many hurdles, so
(26:38):
many what feel like tests, butwhat I'm finding is that when
you say I want it, I want it big, that sounds kind of dirty.
I want a big life, I have bigplans, I have big goals.
And then you say and I want itquickly or as soon as possible.
How else can you make room forall that without shit falling
apart without some thingsdissipating and leaving your
(27:01):
life in order to make room forall that abundance that you
claim you want.
Some shit's gonna fall apartfirst and in the moment, in
finding and in pursuing yourpersonal legend, it's going to
feel like a fucking test.
And in those moments Iliterally just got off the phone
(27:22):
with my friend Nicole and it'slike it feels like a test, right
, and if you choose to see itthat way, are you going to pass
the test?
Let's be real, are you going topass it?
So I always have to catch myselfin those moments and go, okay,
everything I've been through orthat has happened for me and my,
(27:42):
in the moment you're like thishappened to me.
Okay, intelligence, jacqueline,can we practice emotional
intelligence for a second,separate detach and go, okay,
outside, looking in, taking thevictim, taking the feeling out
of it for a second, like thefuck am I supposed to respond so
that this all works out in myhighest good?
It's in those moments, man, inpursuing your personal legend,
(28:03):
when shit starts to fall apart,how you behave, the decisions
you make, however drastic orsubtle they may be, will be
amplified at that next level.
That next level could be Ididn't say what I didn't say.
Next level is going up, couldknock you down a peg or two,
right?
So I've, like tried to and fromreading this fucking book, and
(28:26):
if you don't have it, get it theAlchemist.
Go to your library, get yourlittle library card, ask them
where this book is and get itout.
Check it out, get it out.
Check this motherfucker out.
It's so good.
Okay, if you could just takethis book, take what you learn
and implement that into yourlife, I can't help but feel like
(28:47):
everything will work out foryou.
And that is that's what I,that's what I'm taking away.
Everything works out for me,even when it seems like it's not
.
If I trust that everything iswritten by the same hand, if I
trust that everything is writtenby the same hand, if I trust
that God wants what's best forme, even if it doesn't make
sense to me, then why the fuckam I sitting here worrying so
much?
Why am I not doing what I wantto do, which is play music?
(29:16):
Why am I not just allowing Godto work through me and seeing
what happens?
Because I'll tell you what you,what y'all.
My nose is itching real bad.
Hold on, I know, worryingdoesn't pay the bills, and I
know that when you owe money,worrying doesn't make that any
easier either.
So, like if we did more of whatwe loved, what, if that is, the
personal legend is going on anadventure to figure out what do
(29:36):
I like?
Oh, I don't like that.
All right, that's cool, I triedit.
Oh, I actually really fuckinglike that.
So glad I tried it because.
Or else, you know, alternativeis like this book you don't.
You don't pursue your personallegend or the the idea of
finding or discovering yourpersonal legend.
Then you become one of thesebitter old people in this book
(30:01):
that just sit there day afterday doing the same old things,
thinking, oh, must be nice, mustbe nice when we all have 24
hours in the day according toman-made time.
We all have 24 hours in a day,and if you're watching me on a
fucking device, you are alreadyat an advantage.
(30:22):
So this book I needed it and Ineeded it.
Where'd I put?
Oh, I dropped it.
I think that's all I want tosay.
Pursue, pursue, pursue.
Because regret it's a son of abitch, you know.
I don't know if you have anyregret in your life, but like,
like regrets, you know, whengoing like I could get myself
(30:42):
out of my comfort zone to dothings that were maybe a little
embarrassing, but like to anestablishment to do a thing, and
then I'm too shy to do thething.
So then, because I was afraidof looking stupid or I'd ask a
stupid question or but really Iwanted to participate, like
(31:04):
those those little things usedto drive me crazy.
So now I'm like I'm the firstone to raise my hand, I'm the
first one to ask a question, I'mwilling to look stupid because
I don't want to sit there andwonder, wonder what.
If wonder what.
The answer would have been liketoo short, man.
Life's too fucking short.
That's that's where we're gonnaend that life's too.
So go get what you want.
Oh, that's like a cool littlejingle.
Anywho, this was I forgot totell y'all, or maybe I did in
(31:26):
the beginning, but this was alive recording of Just Women
Talking Shit and I'm reallyexcited that some of y'all came
and hung out with me.
Thank you for that.
I appreciate you, I love you,I'm feeling, I'm really feeling
drawn to just really see wherethis thing goes, to just take
(31:48):
just women talking shit on theroad.
You know, just scheduled myfirst trip for the camper.
Actually, in April I'm going tobe visiting the Ozarks, so it
would be cool if I could get aninterview scheduled while I'm
over there.
Maybe I could interview myclient that I'm actually going
to see.
So there's that, but I'm justfeeling so called to really
focus on the show.
Just Women Talking Shit ismeant to be a brand.
(32:10):
I can just see it.
It's yeah, get another show,because why the fuck not?
It's only a matter of time.
If I don't give up up, peoplewill hear the show, people will
mention it, they will see at-shirt, they will see bumper
stickers, something right.
So that's where I'm feeling led, because I can also integrate
(32:32):
my music into that, integrate mycoaching, like, and everything
can go through through thepodcast.
Um, and I'm writing my book.
I'm focusing on writing mymemoir.
I've got a personal developmentbook that I want to finish,
that I started, that I knowstill unfinished and like really
want to start playing again.
How cool would it be to for meto finally get to fulfill my
(32:53):
dream of going on tour like Ihave a camper.
So how cool does that soundlike?
Just like it's all working out.
Like it's all working out forme.
It's all working out for me.
It's always working out for me.
I just was too in the moment andin this I need to sell high
ticket, high ticket, need tocoach.
That's the only way to make.
To make a lot of money is tosell high ticket and is to coach
when the reality is people lovethat.
(33:14):
I do so.
So many different things and italmost feels like and it's
gonna sound really cocky, butit's more confidence than
anything, because I have grownmy confidence tremendously.
It went from here to like big,from nothing to okay, I'm too
good at too many things to focuson one lane, like just too much
to go around.
(33:35):
There's too much goodness whenI'm, when you're really talented
, I don't think that you shouldplay small, you know silly.
It's really not fair to you,it's not fair to your mental
health and it's not fair to thepeople that are dying to get
their hands on all of thesethings that you can create.
You know what I mean?
That's my personal legend.
So this is like got a hole init.
(33:55):
You know is damn.
When it fell, that's whathappens and now I gotta do one
of these.
I got like, took care of that,but um, yeah, it's like focus
right now, getting some sponsors.
If you know anybody that wouldbe interested in sponsoring, uh,
an episode or two, that wouldbe cool.
Um, and I want to.
I want to get back into my lovefor creating content, kind of of
(34:16):
just showcasing life and mythoughts and my wisdoms, and
even the things that aren'tmaking sense to me.
Maybe you can help me makesense of them, because I don't
have it all figured out.
I don't, and I'm not going tosit here and pretend like I've
got this shit all figured outNew levels, new devils y'all and
I'm human.
(34:36):
So let's humanize being humanand let's stick in this shit
together and get what the fuckwe want out of life.
Nobody else can do that for us.
You know I'm here to.
I'm here, I'm rooting for youIf you're in my corner.
Thank you for being in mycorner.
Thank you for listening to thispodcast episode, whether you
watched it live on Instagram atJacqueline Cotton, or whether
(34:58):
you are listening to therecorded version on
JustWomenTalkingShitcom orwherever you get your podcasts.
I appreciate you very much andI'll catch you later.
Go out and find your personaljourney, fulfill it and just
trust that everything is alwaysworking out for you, because it
totally fucking is.
many hurdles, so many what feel like tests.
But what I'm finding is thatwhen you say I want it, I want
it big, that sounds kind ofdirty.
I want a big life, I have bigplans, I have big goals.
And then you say and I want itquickly or as soon as possible.
How else can you make room forall that without shit falling
(00:22):
apart, without some thingsdissipating and leaving your
life in order to make room forall that abundance that you
claim you want?
Some shit's going to fall apartfirst and in the moment, in
finding and pursuing yourpersonal legend, it's going to
(00:42):
feel like a fucking test.
Personal legend it's going tofeel like a fucking test.
And in those moments Iliterally just got off the phone
with my friend Nicole and it'slike it feels like a test, right
.
And if you choose to see itthat way, are you going to pass
the test?
Let's be real, are you going topass it?
(01:04):
Ladies and gentlemen?
Ladies and gentlemen, you'relistening to just women talking
shit with your host, jacquelineCotton.
Jacqueline Cotton hey,jacqueline, here we are going to
(01:26):
be recording a live episode ofJust Women Talking Shit.
Here's the funny thing is, Iwas just live on here and when I
was recording, I completelyforgot what I was supposed to
talk about.
So I just sat and talked aboutlife for quite a while and then
I totally remembered what I wasgoing to talk about.
So now I'm back to talk aboutwhat I was going to talk about.
So now I'm back to talk aboutwhat I was supposed to talk
about the first time, and thatis pursuing your personal legend
(01:50):
, what that means, what it lookslike, and also overcoming the
obstacles that you will for surehave to overcome, because you
will face them.
So I recently read.
When I say I recently read, Istarted this book forever ago,
but I recently read and finishedthe Alchemist, such a great
(02:12):
book, and if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
If you're near me and want toborrow this, you can borrow it.
But this book is something thatmy dad gave me whenever I saw
him.
I want to say it was when I was18 or 19, maybe anywhere from
17 to I want to say 17, 18,somewhere around there, and I
(02:37):
got to visit him.
I hadn't seen him in a verylong time.
Just so I'll catch you up realquick.
My dad and I don't have arelationship.
We are not close.
I barely.
I don't have a relationship.
We are not close.
I barely, I don't even know.
The last time I talked to himit was through email, but my dad
and I don't have a relationship.
And so we left when I was eightand I saw him one time, one,
two times when I was 16.
(02:58):
And then I got to see him againwhen I was I want to say, 18,
which is when I took a greyhound.
I took my brother and my sisterand we went to visit my
grandfather because I knew hewas not doing well and I hadn't
seen him in a very long time.
So they were finally closeenough and in one place long
enough.
And we were in one place, longenough to where we were both at
the same time, just a state ortwo away, and we went to visit.
(03:22):
Since then I've seen my dad once, maybe twice, and I'm turning
36.
But whenever I was at thatweird spot 17, 18, and I got to
see him, he bought me this book,not this one in particular.
I wish to God I still had theoriginal copy that he got me,
but it was a leather version ofthis and he told me he's like
(03:50):
everybody calls me Jackie on onmy mom's side of the family and
it drives me crazy.
But all right, I see on mymom's side, but my dad too and
he bought it and he was likethis is, this is the book that
you need to read.
Everything will make sense now.
17 year old me did not give twoshits about that at the time.
I knew I'd get to when I got toit.
Never knew when I was going toget to it.
Apparently, the time'd get toit when I got to it never knew
when I was going to get to it.
Apparently, the time to get toit was when I was on this cruise
and I started reading it and Ifinished it the other day when I
was on the treadmill and therewere so many weird things, so
(04:14):
many weird things throughoutthis book because throughout
this book, throughout the timethat I had to really reflect
while I'm literally watching theocean pass me by, and then not
having this want or this realability to stay on my phone
because of being out of service.
We had Wi-Fi but the Wi-Fi wasshit y'all and the only thing I
(04:37):
was really worried about was myson because he wasn't doing
super well.
He was coughing a lot just kindof sick.
Weather in Mississippifluctuates and so does our
health, and he was experiencinga little bit of that feeling
fucked up from the weather.
So of course it would happenwhenever I'm literally out of
(04:57):
the country and I can't get tohim and I'm worried about it.
So there was that.
But outside that, I focused onthis book and my free time and I
just was like so between thisand the disconnect from social
media and the trying to stay offsocial media, and I started
feeling like there was a senseof relief for not having.
(05:20):
I felt like I got a permissionslip to quit worrying about
business, to quit worrying aboutmy clients, to just quit, take
a fucking breather.
I had the excuse I'd alreadygotten in touch with all my
clients, everybody knew where Iwas at, I was not going to be
reachable, et cetera, and itjust felt like the first time in
a long time where I could relax.
And in the relaxing I foundmyself just really asking myself
(05:44):
what still makes you happy,jacqueline?
What do you miss?
What would life look like ifyou weren't worried about money
anymore and if you quit worryingso much about building this
company?
And so I focus in on the manyfacets of Jacqueline.
There are seasons of me, thereare different versions of me.
I have different personalities.
(06:04):
I have different passions.
I can play music.
I'm also an artist.
I used to paint.
I love books.
I love learning.
I'm good with my hands buildingthings.
I'm good in person.
I'm a great speaker.
I make people feel loved.
There's just so many things Iwant to do and I found myself at
the core of everything was justlike many things I want to do
(06:25):
and I found myself at the coreof everything was just like I
just want to connect with people.
It's all it's ever been.
So everything I do is me tryingto connect with people.
And in this book, all he wantsto do is fulfill and find, or
find and fulfill his personallegend.
It's about this young boy who'sa shepherd and he has this wild
(06:49):
dream, and let me tell yousomething about the dream part.
I've been having recurringdreams.
I've even spoken to y'all aboutthese dreams, wondering if
anybody can help me decipherthese weird fucking dreams.
We can talk about the dreams ina minute.
But he has this dream aboutthere being this treasure that
he needs to discover and find inthe pyramids of egypt, and so
(07:12):
he sets out on a quest with hissheep and along his quest he
meets different people thatconfirm his personal legend is
to find this treasure.
And so he is faced withadversities, he is faced with
getting robbed.
This poor boy goes through helland back, but each and every
time he's able to sense what Godis trying to tell him.
(07:37):
How can I see every singlething that gets taken from me,
robbed from me and that I haveto recreate and do over.
How is that actually a blessing?
And in doing so he learns thelanguage of the world, the
language that anything andeverything understands, the
language of the universe, thelanguage of God.
(07:57):
And that is love.
That, no matter what languageyou speak, you are able to
recognize when someone is a harm, is a threat, but also whenever
there is good energy andthey're there to help you.
And we can communicate in a waywith nature, with animals, with
God, with source right.
And it's all about finding andfulfilling his personal legend.
(08:18):
He was thinking his personallegend was to find the treasure,
but the personal legend was thewhole journey to finding the
treasure.
And that in itself just blew mymind, because we tend to think
that we have one purpose and wework towards that purpose and
that one thing, that one biggoal, right, and that goal could
(08:39):
be to be a millionaire.
That's a really basic.
When people are like I want tobe rich, right, I'm guilty of
that, I've been too attached tothat lately.
To be a millionaire, that's areally basic.
When people are like I want tobe rich, right, I'm guilty of
that, I've been too attached tothat lately.
And I'm finding that thereisn't one thing that we must
fulfill.
There are so many differentjobs, roles, so many different
things that will happen alongthe way, that we will learn
(09:03):
along the way that we couldn'thave learned any other way, and
so it was really aboutunderstanding that the personal
legend that you seek is found inthe journey of getting there.
That's what I took from this,and that if you can just release
control, if you can release thejob, if you can release how
(09:25):
you're actually going to helppeople, if you can release how
you're going to get to the endresult, and just see every
single fuck up, every time youget a debit from your account,
every time that you getfrustrated or pissed off, you
could see every opportunity asan opportunity to learn, to grow
(09:46):
to learn the language of theworld, instead of being so stuck
on how man thinks is going tohappen.
You notice that everything iswritten by the same hand.
Everything is written by thesame hand.
Whatever you call the power,the source, I don't give a shit
what you call it, I don't carewhat your religion is, I don't
(10:09):
care what you think yourpersonal legend is.
We all feel that there is apurpose for our lives and it's
about figuring out what thatpurpose is.
And the only way you everfigure out any of the purposes
that's the first thing I want tosay is that we get so stuck.
What is my mission?
What is my purpose?
God will use you in so manydifferent ways.
(10:31):
Along the way, you will graduateto a different level.
You will, you will one year,you might.
You might be.
I'm going to give myself.
For instance.
I thought for the longest time Ididn't know what I want to be
when I grow up, I thought forthe longest time I didn't know
what I want to be when I grow up.
I thought for the longest timethat I was a nobody and that I
would always be the hired helpRight.
(10:51):
And it all came full circle onthis cruise when we were
finishing up with our excursionand they were asking for tips.
And they were asking for tipsand I remember being the help.
But it's the way that Claudia,one of our tour guides, said it
(11:14):
and it was that if you find itin your heart to give us
anything extra, know that we'resaving so that we can do things
like this, like go on a cruise.
They hadn't even ever lefttheir area and it made me
realize how fortunate I am,because I remember being the
girl who was going behind peoplepicking stuff up and waiting
the tables and getting yelled at.
(11:35):
And I remember being so shy andinsecure and I would fuck up
people's orders and I'd getyelled at, I'd cry in the middle
of the establishment anddropping things.
And I remember cleaning housesand I'd go into houses where I'd
have to clean maggots and I putmyself in really also really
weird positions because I didn'tunderstand what good work
(11:59):
conditions were.
I didn't understand or reallyeven recognize when I was being
taken advantage of in workplaces, even because I was so used to
people pleasing.
But I was, for the longest time, a servant.
I was, for the longest time,the help.
I've been honest with you guysand told you that I dabbled in
sex work.
Right, I've done some thingsthat I'm not proud of.
But along the way making thosemistakes but along the way
(12:23):
making those mistakes, I metpeople that taught me life
lessons I could never learnotherwise.
I learned to read energy.
I learned to keep myself safe.
I learned my worth.
I had to be at the bottom toever get to where I am now, and
there's still a lot of work todo, a lot of work to do right.
(12:44):
And there's still a lot of workto do, a lot of work to do
right.
So all I'm saying is is we tendto put a lot of pressure on
ourselves, thinking that thereis one final destination, one
final reward, and it is thewhole fucking journey along the
way.
So what does it mean to findyour personal legend?
I'm continuously finding mypersonal legend.
I could be a housekeeper yearsago.
(13:05):
I could be a sex worker lateron, and I can still be a speaker
.
I can still be a top podcasthost around the world.
I can still start my own.
Whatever it is I want to do,there's still time.
I always think of Tina Fey.
She didn't really start gettinga start on her professional
life until she was in her 40s.
Well, I'm only.
(13:26):
I'm just now about turn 36.
How old are you?
There's still time for you too.
So what did you think about whenyou were little?
I really want you to thinkabout that, because I always
thought that I wasn't going toget to be what I wanted to be
when I grew up.
I've always thought I didn'tknow what I wanted to be when I
grew up, but it turns out I'mgetting to be all of them.
So when I was really, reallylittle, I thought that my
(13:48):
personal legend was to be aphysician.
Then it graduated to.
I wanted to be a psychiatristor a therapist of some sort.
Then later on, it became.
I thought I was going to be aprofessional and famous musician
.
I started singing gospel inchurch.
That took me to other places.
I started bands.
(14:09):
I got to record in New YorkCity, right.
So from there I was like oh,reality set in.
I got to go to college.
So I went to college.
I thought I was going to be afilmmaker, right.
And while I was filmmaking Idiscovered being a nanny.
I discovered what it was liketo work at a burger shop that
was called Good Burger.
It was a real thing.
But I also got the opportunityto nearly give myself alcohol
(14:33):
poisoning.
I went through an entireexperience that I it forever, to
this day, haunts me, so that Iwill never become an alcoholic
again ever.
Now I know that sounds kind ofscary, but it was a scary time
in my life.
But had I not experienced it, Iwould maybe still be an
alcoholic, I don't know.
So what I'm saying is like I'vebeen all these things and it
(14:55):
doesn't mean that I can't stillbe what I want to be.
So like is your personal legend?
It's probably like acombination of things Throughout
a lifetime right, the roaring20s fucking thing.
So we it's I think about.
I used to think of myself as achameleon, a chameleon in life.
(15:16):
I would just come.
This is the wall I'm on, I'mturning, I'm gonna look like
some brick and when we applythat to like life situations, if
I was around people who weredrinking a lot, I'm gonna
fucking party.
If I was around people who werereally negative, I I'm going to
sit and talk shit.
Basically, I found Real quickhow to fit in with anybody, how
(15:40):
to be that flower on the wall,how to stay out of trouble, but
how to also fit in whennecessary.
So that has actually served tomy advantage To an extent.
All the things that I Labeledmyself as and I put down on
myself as You're a boyfriend,chameleon, or you're this and
this and this, I didn't know atthe time.
I was learning to read energy.
(16:00):
I was learning to build rapport.
I was learning how to carry onconversation.
I was learning to perform.
I was learning how to shift myentire identity, which at the
time was a survival instinct foryour survival tactic.
Really, right now, you can reada room.
(16:20):
I can read a room.
I can tell who the mostpowerful person in the room is.
I can.
I know who to go and speak to.
I know how to carry myself,confidence.
I know when to be loosey,goosey and have fun Right, and
whenever it comes to like I cango and I can, I think I could
speak on any stage.
Would it intimidate me?
Yes, but I know.
Now I have the ability to kindof you, tap into this other
(16:42):
world.
So, like things that I thoughtwere disserving me or not doing
anything for me, like learninghow to read the energy, learning
how to read a room, being achameleon so that I could
satisfy and people, please.
Now it's actually a skill setthat I can use to my advantage.
So, along the way, finding mypersonal legend, which I truly
(17:04):
think is just spreading light inthe world in the most authentic
way, humanizing being human.
That's what I'm here to do isto humanize being human and have
fun along the way, becauseeverything is evolution,
everything is evolution.
You are forever evolving and itis wild to fucking think that
(17:26):
you could just fit in one box,one box forever, that you should
always stay the same, andthat's your personal legend too.
Like book will change your life.
My dad gave it to me when I was17, 18.
I'd keep going between 17, 19.
I can't remember how fuckingold I was, to be honest.
But he gave it to him and hetold me read it and it'll change
your life.
And again, being young, I waslike, okay, just the fucking
(17:47):
book.
Dad, 35 years old, picked it upat the right time, the perfect
time, when I was questioning myown personal legend.
God, what am I here for?
Am I really supposed to be justonly focusing on business
coaching?
I sure do miss the music.
I sure do miss the feeling thatI would get walking across the
(18:08):
stage telling my story throughmusic.
Do you want to know whathappened?
I'm going to get reallyemotional.
I, on wednesday of this week,that I was going to start
playing music again, that Iwould start writing music again,
that I would start performingagain.
A certain person came to my mind.
His name is chad perry.
(18:29):
Chad perry shout out to myfriend chad perry.
I thought of him and I thoughtyou know he used to have an open
mic.
I wonder what he's been up to.
I shit you not.
Two days later, I go to havedinner and celebrate my
stepson's 16th birthday.
Guess who's there playing musicthat night?
My friend, fucking Chad Perry.
(18:50):
I thought nothing of it and Ithought, whoa, what a
coincidence.
What a coincidence.
I thought nothing of it and Ithought, whoa, what a
coincidence.
What a coincidence.
He takes his entire 15-minutebreak to come talk to me
afterwards and I talked to himand I was like I really wouldn't
want to get back into music.
Ever since my daughter's daddied, I've just been on complete
hiatus and I may pick my guitarup.
It's a fucking year and it'sreally a disservice to the world
(19:13):
, because I have literallywatched people's hearts start to
mend in front of me when theyhear my music, and I can never
explain the feeling that givesyou when you see and hear
someone say I needed to hearyour song tonight.
I felt it in my soul and that'swhat music can do, that's what
speaking on stage can do, that'swhat your story in a book can
(19:37):
do, that's what you coaching orhowever it is that you choose to
show up into the world and seekand fulfill your personal
legend, which your personallegend could just be to spread
love and happiness.
And throughout your life youhave different jobs that teach
you and help you up level sothat you can better serve as you
grow, so that as you grow, youcan reach more people and teach
(20:00):
more people, but also hold theenergy and have the capacity for
all those people you help.
If you could just seeeverything you do it's like a
little piece in the game andjust learn from every experience
, the good and the bad, youwould see that it's all there.
It's always been there.
(20:20):
My love for music, my love forhelping people, my love for
healing, my love for speaking,entertaining it's always been
there.
My mama has videos of meperforming.
I've always been this person.
I just it's.
I'm in full circle, owning it,doing all these shit jobs that
really you didn't want to do butdid, and because you thought
(20:41):
you were supposed to.
You know, eat this normal life,go to school, graduate, get the
job, pay off the debt, drivethe, the lease, you know the
cookie, cutter home, like it'sokay to admit.
If that doesn't fulfill you andthat's not all you want, you
can have more and you can havethe best of the best if you
really want that can also bepart of your personal legend,
like you don't have to scrape byto be a good person and to do
(21:02):
good in the world.
I can be abundant in so manyways, and so when I'm, when I
chatted with with Chad, theweirdest fucking thing happened.
He said Brad's back in town orsaid no, you'll never, you'll
never believe who's back, and Iwas like who.
And when he said brad, brad'sback in town, I was like I don't
(21:24):
understand brad, who he waslike you're brad, and it was
like this.
It was so weird, it was likefucking flashback, like whole
life that I've completely burieddown came back and I said wait,
my Brad.
He said you're Brad, your olddrummer, brad.
(21:45):
And I was just like I genuinelyto protect myself.
I realized in that moment toprotect myself I had not allowed
myself to think about thisperson because he left when
Finley, his dad and I weretogether.
He and I the whole way we metwas we played, I played music,
(22:06):
he played music and his thirdcousin, who I met, thought that
we would get along or we wouldlike each other, and so she
introduced us.
And then we just got intoplaying music but fell in love
while we were playing music andso we fell in love.
We're playing music.
We form a band.
Brad was the drummer in our band.
Brad was there throughout ourwhole pregnancy.
(22:27):
I literally have a picture ofhim holding my daughter.
We called him Uncle Brad.
He was Finley's dad's bestfriend.
He was my best friend.
He was like brother.
And when Finley's dad startedgetting more bad off, brad left.
He knew.
I think he told me he knew thathe was struggling, but I don't
(22:49):
think he knew like that off itwas.
But he moved, he left and hewent to Colorado and we were
super happy for him.
We took some time and we didn'tplay with anybody, we just he
and I played as a duo and we didall of our gigs as a duo and
then we started, as we started,to heal and it was really
emotional because it was likehard to replace Brad because he
(23:11):
was like, like I said, like abrother and honestly it took it.
It took, I would say it took acouple years before we ever
really started playing withanybody else.
But we formed a new band and westarted playing out like some
stuff and um the years I've justkind of out brad.
You tried looking him up and Icouldn't find him on social
media and so I just gave up andit's almost like I, I guess,
(23:34):
wanted to protect myself in away.
And then when Clay died,finley's dad when he died, I
especially was just like I gavemusic up.
I was like I can't, I'm not,I'm not feeling remotely
inspired.
All I will probably write aboutis death.
Here's my album about death.
So when he said that it wasjust like what the fuck?
(23:56):
He said he was back and he sentme his number and I sent him a
text and the very next fuckingday he comes over and he meets
my husband and he meets finleywho, when he left finley was
this big, just a little nugget.
Now she's a whole 12 piece.
(24:18):
And it's just wild how, when youmake the proclamation and you,
just you allow yourself to goafter what you want, like the
music, I'm ready.
I'm ready.
So much love and hurt andevolution is about to come out
(24:39):
of me through this music and tohave he moved away across the
country.
I didn't think I'd ever see himagain.
To have my original drummerback, what the fuck?
That is not coincidence.
Y'all that is not.
You cannot tell me that's acoincidence.
It is all written by the samehand and he, he even said
himself I didn't want to comeback.
Something just keeps pulling meback and we, just our minds are
(25:03):
just.
My mind is fucking blown.
So here it is.
I'm making.
I told myself, I'm stillcoaching.
I will forever be a coach.
But my love is my podcast.
It is being in front of people,it is helping people, it is
speaking, it is laughing, it ishealing, it is it's me, I am the
(25:28):
, I am the business model and Iwill monetize that.
If you love me and you lovewhat I have to offer, you'll
love my music.
You'll love my coaching, you'lllove the short film that I put
out, you'll love my comedy.
If you love me, I'm pretty sureyou'll love everything I do,
(25:50):
and if it's not, if that's cool,if not.
But there are so many differentversions of me that I've been
hiding for so long, thinking Ihave to fit in this box.
And even coaching does that.
It puts me in a box.
I can't just teach about onething and one thing forever.
I've done that the past sixmonths and I'm already burnt out
.
What is that?
I have to recognize that partof my personal legend is to
(26:13):
entertain.
It is to keep it fresh, it's tokeep it interesting, and at
least I'm going to tell myselfthat that's why I have multiple
personalities.
Oh, that's because you wantednumerous streams of income, and
so you got your business side,you got your comedy side, you've
got your.
That's just what I'm going tokeep telling myself.
Okay, you're going to comeacross like so many hurdles, so
(26:38):
many what feel like tests, butwhat I'm finding is that when
you say I want it, I want it big, that sounds kind of dirty.
I want a big life, I have bigplans, I have big goals.
And then you say and I want itquickly or as soon as possible.
How else can you make room forall that without shit falling
apart without some thingsdissipating and leaving your
(27:01):
life in order to make room forall that abundance that you
claim you want.
Some shit's gonna fall apartfirst and in the moment, in
finding and in pursuing yourpersonal legend, it's going to
feel like a fucking test.
And in those moments Iliterally just got off the phone
(27:22):
with my friend Nicole and it'slike it feels like a test, right
, and if you choose to see itthat way, are you going to pass
the test?
Let's be real, are you going topass it?
So I always have to catch myselfin those moments and go, okay,
everything I've been through orthat has happened for me and my,
(27:42):
in the moment you're like thishappened to me.
Okay, intelligence, jacqueline,can we practice emotional
intelligence for a second,separate detach and go, okay,
outside, looking in, taking thevictim, taking the feeling out
of it for a second, like thefuck am I supposed to respond so
that this all works out in myhighest good?
It's in those moments, man, inpursuing your personal legend,
(28:03):
when shit starts to fall apart,how you behave, the decisions
you make, however drastic orsubtle they may be, will be
amplified at that next level.
That next level could be Ididn't say what I didn't say.
Next level is going up, couldknock you down a peg or two,
right?
So I've, like tried to and fromreading this fucking book, and
(28:26):
if you don't have it, get it theAlchemist.
Go to your library, get yourlittle library card, ask them
where this book is and get itout.
Check it out, get it out.
Check this motherfucker out.
It's so good.
Okay, if you could just takethis book, take what you learn
and implement that into yourlife, I can't help but feel like
(28:47):
everything will work out foryou.
And that is that's what I,that's what I'm taking away.
Everything works out for me,even when it seems like it's not
.
If I trust that everything iswritten by the same hand, if I
trust that everything is writtenby the same hand, if I trust
that God wants what's best forme, even if it doesn't make
sense to me, then why the fuckam I sitting here worrying so
much?
Why am I not doing what I wantto do, which is play music?
(29:16):
Why am I not just allowing Godto work through me and seeing
what happens?
Because I'll tell you what you,what y'all.
My nose is itching real bad.
Hold on, I know, worryingdoesn't pay the bills, and I
know that when you owe money,worrying doesn't make that any
easier either.
So, like if we did more of whatwe loved, what, if that is, the
personal legend is going on anadventure to figure out what do
(29:36):
I like?
Oh, I don't like that.
All right, that's cool, I triedit.
Oh, I actually really fuckinglike that.
So glad I tried it because.
Or else, you know, alternativeis like this book you don't.
You don't pursue your personallegend or the the idea of
finding or discovering yourpersonal legend.
Then you become one of thesebitter old people in this book
(30:01):
that just sit there day afterday doing the same old things,
thinking, oh, must be nice, mustbe nice when we all have 24
hours in the day according toman-made time.
We all have 24 hours in a day,and if you're watching me on a
fucking device, you are alreadyat an advantage.
(30:22):
So this book I needed it and Ineeded it.
Where'd I put?
Oh, I dropped it.
I think that's all I want tosay.
Pursue, pursue, pursue.
Because regret it's a son of abitch, you know.
I don't know if you have anyregret in your life, but like,
like regrets, you know, whengoing like I could get myself
(30:42):
out of my comfort zone to dothings that were maybe a little
embarrassing, but like to anestablishment to do a thing, and
then I'm too shy to do thething.
So then, because I was afraidof looking stupid or I'd ask a
stupid question or but really Iwanted to participate, like
(31:04):
those those little things usedto drive me crazy.
So now I'm like I'm the firstone to raise my hand, I'm the
first one to ask a question, I'mwilling to look stupid because
I don't want to sit there andwonder, wonder what.
If wonder what.
The answer would have been liketoo short, man.
Life's too fucking short.
That's that's where we're gonnaend that life's too.
So go get what you want.
Oh, that's like a cool littlejingle.
Anywho, this was I forgot totell y'all, or maybe I did in
(31:26):
the beginning, but this was alive recording of Just Women
Talking Shit and I'm reallyexcited that some of y'all came
and hung out with me.
Thank you for that.
I appreciate you, I love you,I'm feeling, I'm really feeling
drawn to just really see wherethis thing goes, to just take
(31:48):
just women talking shit on theroad.
You know, just scheduled myfirst trip for the camper.
Actually, in April I'm going tobe visiting the Ozarks, so it
would be cool if I could get aninterview scheduled while I'm
over there.
Maybe I could interview myclient that I'm actually going
to see.
So there's that, but I'm justfeeling so called to really
focus on the show.
Just Women Talking Shit ismeant to be a brand.
(32:10):
I can just see it.
It's yeah, get another show,because why the fuck not?
It's only a matter of time.
If I don't give up up, peoplewill hear the show, people will
mention it, they will see at-shirt, they will see bumper
stickers, something right.
So that's where I'm feeling led, because I can also integrate
(32:32):
my music into that, integrate mycoaching, like, and everything
can go through through thepodcast.
Um, and I'm writing my book.
I'm focusing on writing mymemoir.
I've got a personal developmentbook that I want to finish,
that I started, that I knowstill unfinished and like really
want to start playing again.
How cool would it be to for meto finally get to fulfill my
(32:53):
dream of going on tour like Ihave a camper.
So how cool does that soundlike?
Just like it's all working out.
Like it's all working out forme.
It's all working out for me.
It's always working out for me.
I just was too in the moment andin this I need to sell high
ticket, high ticket, need tocoach.
That's the only way to make.
To make a lot of money is tosell high ticket and is to coach
when the reality is people lovethat.
(33:14):
I do so.
So many different things and italmost feels like and it's
gonna sound really cocky, butit's more confidence than
anything, because I have grownmy confidence tremendously.
It went from here to like big,from nothing to okay, I'm too
good at too many things to focuson one lane, like just too much
to go around.
(33:35):
There's too much goodness whenI'm, when you're really talented
, I don't think that you shouldplay small, you know silly.
It's really not fair to you,it's not fair to your mental
health and it's not fair to thepeople that are dying to get
their hands on all of thesethings that you can create.
You know what I mean?
That's my personal legend.
So this is like got a hole init.
(33:55):
You know is damn.
When it fell, that's whathappens and now I gotta do one
of these.
I got like, took care of that,but um, yeah, it's like focus
right now, getting some sponsors.
If you know anybody that wouldbe interested in sponsoring, uh,
an episode or two, that wouldbe cool.
Um, and I want to.
I want to get back into my lovefor creating content, kind of of
(34:16):
just showcasing life and mythoughts and my wisdoms, and
even the things that aren'tmaking sense to me.
Maybe you can help me makesense of them, because I don't
have it all figured out.
I don't, and I'm not going tosit here and pretend like I've
got this shit all figured outNew levels, new devils y'all and
I'm human.
(34:36):
So let's humanize being humanand let's stick in this shit
together and get what the fuckwe want out of life.
Nobody else can do that for us.
You know I'm here to.
I'm here, I'm rooting for youIf you're in my corner.
Thank you for being in mycorner.
Thank you for listening to thispodcast episode, whether you
watched it live on Instagram atJacqueline Cotton, or whether
(34:58):
you are listening to therecorded version on
JustWomenTalkingShitcom orwherever you get your podcasts.
I appreciate you very much andI'll catch you later.
Go out and find your personaljourney, fulfill it and just
trust that everything is alwaysworking out for you, because it
totally fucking is.
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