October 17, 2025 • 21 mins
Waiting to “feel ready” is the biggest lie keeping you stuck. In this episode, we expose the myth of readiness—and how fear, conditioning, and your nervous system quietly trap you in familiar pain while costing you confidence, joy, and growth.
Through real stories of launching a first retreat while terrified and leading it year after year, we unpack why confidence doesn’t come before courage—it comes from it. You’ll learn how to train confidence like a muscle through small, repeatable actions that build self-trust and momentum.
We dig into the psychology of delay, exploring how avoidance protects you from rejection but reinforces self-doubt—and how to rewrite that story using proof from your own resilience.
You’ll walk away with three practical tools to break patterns today:
- Do one thing differently to interrupt your habit loop.
- Speak a hard truth out loud to release shame.
- Ask directly for support so help stops being a guessing game.
We share simple, science-backed examples—from changing your morning phone routine to walking instead of numbing—to help you rewire your nervous system for progress, not perfection. Healing isn’t a moment; it’s a lifestyle that compounds over time.
💬 If this message resonates, share it with someone who needs a loving nudge. Follow on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and leave a quick review—it helps more women around the world find the courage to start before they feel ready.
🌿 Ready to go deeper?
Join the waitlist for Wild Women Who Wander 2026 — the retreat for women ready to drop the masks, reclaim their power, and connect with their most authentic selves. 👉 Fill out the the Google Form HERE.
📲 Let’s stay connected:
- Follow on Instagram: @justwomentalkingshit and @jacquelynncotten
- Email your stories, questions, or advice requests: jwtspodcast@gmail.com
- Support the show by becoming a monthly subscriber HERE.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment and informational purposes only. The views, opinions, and discussions expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not constitute professional advice or services. Listeners should not rely on the content as a substitute for consultation with qualified professionals in areas such as medical, legal, financial, or mental health matters. Always seek the advice of an appropriate licensed professional for any questions or concerns you may have.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, you beautiful humans.
Welcome back to Just WomenTalking Shit, the no fluff
self-help podcast for women whoare done pretending and ready to
evolve.
I'm your host, JacquelineCotton, personal evolution
mentor, retreat leader, and yourhonest as hell friend who's here
to help you grow through thegood shit, bad shit, weird shit,
(00:23):
and all of life's shit inbetween.
Today we're talking aboutsomething that hits home for
just about everyone.
Waiting.
unknown (00:33):
Uh oh.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Waiting to feel ready, waiting for the right
time.
You can't see me, but I have airquotes around that.
Waiting for the motivation tojust magically show up.
But here's the truth.
You don't need more time.
Uh oh.
You need to start now.
I used to convince myself that Iwould start therapy when life
(00:58):
slowed down.
Except, spoiler alert, it neverdid.
Life just kept handing me newchaos with a different fucking
outfit.
So let's get real.
Let's talk about the myth ofready.
Again, air quotes around ready.
There is no magical version ofyou that is going to wake up one
(01:21):
day and say, okay, I feel 100%ready to face my trauma and
change my entire fucking life.
Today's the day.
Gonna cram it all in.
Healing doesn't work like that,unfortunately.
Growth, again, unfortunately,doesn't work like that.
Hell, laundry doesn't even worklike that.
It just piles up until youfucking deal with it.
(01:44):
When I launched my first everretreat, this is just an
example.
I was terrified.
And I have full-body chills as Isay that because I remember
being so scared.
I didn't feel ready.
I was sure, like very, verysure, that there was someone
(02:05):
else out there that was way morequalified than me.
You know, that they've beenplanning events, they have all
these certifications, they'vegot all the credentials that,
you know, if if they're standingnext to me, they're gonna choose
them.
That's how I felt.
But if I had waited until I feltready, I'd still be sitting on
(02:25):
my couch, scrolling Instagram,telling myself that I would do
it next year.
Spoiler alert, we just finishedthe third year of my annual
women's retreat.
And I'm gonna cry.
That blows my mind that I get toplan the fourth annual retreat
(02:48):
for women now, that people arecoming from all over the country
to be part of this.
So here's what I have to tellyou.
Waiting for confidence is likewaiting for motivation to go to
the gym.
It honestly only ever shows upafter you start.
That first day fucking sucks.
(03:09):
The second day fucking sucks.
Third day, you're wanting toquit.
Fourth day, you're gonna take abreak.
Probably fifth day, you gottaget back on top of it.
There's nobody there that canpull your feet out of the bed
and make you do the shit.
Nobody can force you to lift theweights, nobody can force you to
(03:30):
go for the walk, right?
But after you do it repeatedlyfor a little while, a couple of
weeks, a few weeks, you start tonotice this is getting easier.
I'm not resisting as much.
I went from five-pound dumbbellsto ten-pound dumbbells, like
it's immeasurable at that point,right?
(03:52):
So let me say that again.
Waiting on confidence is likewaiting for motivation to go to
the gym.
It only shows up after youstart.
And that's the thing.
It hit me like a fucking ton ofbricks one day.
I was like, when I came intothis world, I didn't have
confidence, but also didn't haveconfidence issues.
(04:14):
So somewhere along the lines,that shit was a learned
behavior.
So if we all come into thisworld bare ass, butt ass naked,
wheelie's out, right?
We all come in with uh thecapability of learning that
skill set, which is confidence.
(04:36):
And that's what really blew mymind was that confidence is a
skill set.
But here's why we wait.
We wait because uh and this isgonna tap into your nervous
system, this is conditioning,this is science.
It makes you feel safer becauseas long as we're waiting, we
(04:56):
don't actually risk failing.
We don't have to risk beingseen.
You know?
Nobody can go, I told you so, orany of that shit.
That you know, you don't want tohear.
But the reality is is thatwaiting and doing nothing, those
(05:17):
are still a decision.
So sometimes doing nothing atall is doing something.
And sometimes doing somethingjust needs to be nothing.
So it's up to you to find thatbalance.
Nobody else can do that for you.
But and this is where I gottalay it down, real talk.
(05:40):
You're choosing to stay in thesame pain that you already know.
So by waiting and not taking aleap, not taking the first step,
not crawling your lazy ass outof bed and going for the fucking
walk.
You could just start with like atwo-minute walk, okay, up and
down the driveway.
You're choosing to stay in thatsame pain that you have been
(06:02):
experiencing.
You're choosing to stay stuck.
So just think about it.
Staying in that toxicrelationship.
This is an example because theholidays are coming up, or
waiting to quit your drainingjob until you've saved a little
more.
Those are your decisions.
(06:22):
I'm not saying that you shouldjust like uh say, I'm fucking
following, I'm filing fordivorce, or I'm taking the dog
and I'm moving out of theapartment.
Like, you know in your heart ofhearts what would make you
happy, but it's creating thisthis goalpost that is so far
away, and then never taking anyof the steps to get there.
(06:45):
Right?
So also not saying go quit yourfucking job and don't pay your
bills, be smart, all right?
But could you take on a side jobthat could eventually replace
that job?
Could you start a business?
Could you do something out ofthe comfort of your own home,
like painting, and start sellingsome of those and save up a
(07:06):
little bit more?
Could you take the leap?
Either way, the decision isyours, and you're the one that
has to experience the realitybecause of it.
So every time that we say, Oh,not yet, we're literally
reinforcing the belief that weare not capable yet.
(07:27):
And that's the real lie.
Because I want you to thinkback.
I want you to think back on oneof the most hard times in your
life, or the most difficulttimes in your life.
I want you to think about beingin that bad relationship that
you got out of.
I want you to think aboutgetting out of that terrible job
(07:48):
that that was just draining yoursoul.
I want you to think about thetime that maybe you were in
between homes or you couldn'tfind a job and you didn't know
how you're gonna pay the bills.
I want you to think aboutsomething that you've been
through that you've overcome,that you can now go, wow, man,
you fucking made it throughthat.
You are incredible.
Because our friends tell usstories, and if you go watch
(08:11):
television, you you're inspiredby all these other people's
pain, and oh man, wow, you gotthrough that.
But then you don't take the timeto reflect on how strong you
are.
So that's why I say that part,thinking that you're not capable
yet, that is such a bold-facedfucking lie.
You are capable of so much.
(08:32):
So I just wanted to remind youof that.
But hey, before we keep going,if this episode is hitting home
or if you know someone who needsto hear this message, hit pause
right now.
You're not gonna hurt myfeelings, and share this episode
link with them.
Send it in a text message, sendit through Facebook Messenger,
(08:53):
send it through Instagram DMs,send it through WhatsApp, send a
fucking message in a bottle.
I don't care how you do it, butshare this episode with them,
let them know that you care.
But this, this is for theperson, this is for the friend,
this is for the coworker, thisis for the the colleague, this
(09:13):
is for whoever in your life, andif it's you, then you already
know that.
But whoever it is that keepssaying that she'll she'll start
tomorrow, you know, I'll startone day, right?
Show her that you love her bygiving her this gentle nudge
right now, because I trulybelieve that we grow better
(09:34):
together.
Okay, let's get to the goodstuff.
Like, how do you start healingtoday?
That's the real question, right?
So, what does it actually looklike?
What is starting look like?
It's not about fixing everythingin one day, because I'm gonna
tell you what, my laundry listis hella long.
(09:56):
It takes a lifetime, right?
It's it's not about being thequickest to finish the race,
right?
It's about momentum, it's aboutcreating small, consistent
choices that will build thetrust in yourself again, because
that's what it's really about isyou don't trust yourself to
(10:18):
finish the task.
You don't trust yourself to besuccessful, you don't trust
yourself to to follow throughwith your commitment, right?
You don't trust yourself enoughto fail so that you can gather
lessons from that experience anddo better next time.
So I'm gonna lay it out for you.
I'm gonna give you threeactionable fucking steps to
(10:39):
start today.
Number one, do one thingdifferently today.
So, example, if you normallywake up and doom scroll, take
five minutes, as soon as youwake up, right, to sit in
silence and breathe instead.
Because that tiny shift makesall the difference.
(11:04):
I feel like when we wake up andimmediately go to the phone,
when we immediately startwatching videos, we start
scrolling Instagram, we arefalling into the rabbit hole of
let me get your attention andgather your data.
It's if you stop and think aboutit, it's like inviting all these
fucking people into your bedroomand they're just there.
So let that creep you out for amoment.
(11:26):
Let that let that sink in.
Do you want a hundred people inyour bedroom as soon as you
fucking wake up?
Probably not, not me, not me,not my cup of tea.
Some people might be into that,but I don't want people watching
me sleep.
I don't want people watching mewipe my ass, right?
So, like, why do we do that?
Why do we pick up the phoneimmediately?
It's because we are stuck inthis habit loop, and so when we
(11:50):
do one thing differently today,it's going to disrupt the
pattern.
And your patterns, your habitpatterns, the things that you're
doing every day, the really tinyunconscious decisions, that shit
adds up to your ding ding-dingreality.
So if you want to change yourreality, you've got to disrupt
(12:12):
the pattern.
So just do one different thingtoday, okay?
If normally you would spend thetime after work binging Netflix,
I'm talking about like, youknow, you eat on the couch,
you're watching Netflix, youfall asleep on the couch.
Okay.
Maybe instead of that, go for alittle walk instead.
(12:32):
Maybe that's a really good wayto decompress.
These are just some ideas.
Number two, say the hard truthout loud.
Maybe it's I'm not happy in thisrelationship, or I'm not showing
up for myself.
We tend to do that.
We tend to people please, wetend to put ourselves and our
(12:52):
wants and our desires, ourdreams on the back burner,
whether it be for kids, whetherit be for a partner, whether it
be for your boss, whether it befor in-laws, like what the fuck,
right?
We get on to our friends fordoing this, but then we do it to
ourselves.
So naming it, it doesn't make itworse.
(13:14):
It makes it real.
When you say it out loud, it'slike, uh, man, why'd I keep that
in so long?
It creates like vacancy spacewithin your being.
It feels like a weight off yourshoulders, just like giving it
giving it oxygen.
So put that shit out there.
Say it to yourself.
(13:34):
Maybe you know, I'm not happy inthis relationship.
I'm not showing up for myself.
It doesn't make it worse, itjust makes it real.
Number three, and we women havethe worst fucking time doing
this.
Like it's so difficult for us isto ask for help.
(13:55):
No.
Is like, oh, they'll pick up onit, yeah, you know, and no,
people typically around us arenot, especially men, I would
say, um, they're not super awareof what the the hints you're
(14:16):
dropping actually mean.
Why?
Because they're worried abouttheir own shit, they've got
their own thoughts andinsecurities and things that
they want to start tomorrowfloating around in their heads,
right?
So it really, really makes a bigdifference when you just
directly ask for help.
Say it out loud, message thatfriend, email your therapist,
(14:38):
hell, send me a DM at JaclynCotton or on just Woman Talking
Shit on Instagram and like I'mhere, I'll listen to your shit,
okay?
But you have to actually ask.
And I need you to know thatasking doesn't make you weak.
It really doesn't.
Ever since I started askingdirectly for help from my
(15:00):
husband or asking my mom to helpwith my kids for the weekend and
just saying, I'm about to losemy shit.
Get these crotch goblins out ofmy house and let me just lay
naked in my bed if I want to,right?
Like, sometimes we just needpeople to step in and either let
us know that we're cared for orloved or that we matter enough
(15:23):
to take, you know, to take thetime to spend with our kids so
that we can have time forourselves.
Um, you know, when I ask myhusband for help, instead of
just hoping that he figures itout, it takes a it takes so
much, you know, off my platethat maybe I wasn't good at or
maybe I just can't handle today.
And so I think it's reallyimportant that you know that
(15:44):
you're not you're not weak forasking.
I think you're really brave forstarting, for starting to ask
for help.
Because remember, healing is notit's not something you can do
overnight, it's not adestination.
Um and it certainly isn't goingto have a time frame.
It really is a lifestyle, likeflossing.
(16:06):
Uncomfortable at first, youknow, but if you skip it too
long, things start rotting.
So just just be brave enough tosay, you know what, I do need
help.
I do need a break.
I I I can't tackle these dishes.
I've got, you know, um work todo, or some of us are students,
I've got to do schoolwork.
(16:27):
So you're not break, you're not,you're not broken for asking for
help.
Okay.
Just just do it.
Just do it already.
Life gets a lot easier when youhave people helping you.
Now, if you're feeling thatspark to go deeper, to stop
waiting and to start living, Ijust want to tell you, and this
is a new rebrand of my annualretreat.
(16:49):
It has shifted because Ifinally, I finally it just hit
me when I was in the pool withmy wonderful um clients and you
know, everybody that was therein Phoenix, um, that we all have
one thing in common.
We're wild and we're weird,right?
And so the wait list for weirdwomen who wander.
(17:13):
Yes, I love it too! Did you lovethat name?
But the wait list for the weirdwomen who wander 2026 retreat is
officially open.
It's it's not a just a vacation,okay.
I'm gonna be honest.
Um, yeah, we have you know somuch fun.
(17:34):
Like, for instance, um we werechilling in the pool drinking
THC infused drinks.
At one point, we microdosed somemushrooms and we had a fucking
blast and talking about anythingand everything, masturbation,
like nothing was off limits.
We had so much fun, okay.
It's a transformation, it reallyfucking is because when you
(17:57):
there's something, there'ssomething so amazing about
getting in a sacred space withother women who are ready to
stop waiting around and theywant to fucking evolve.
So we show our weirdest selves,and and everybody is just so at
home at these events, and so ohmy gosh, not just a vacation,
it's also a transformation.
It sounds cheesy, but it'sfucking true.
(18:18):
Just ask the other women whohave participated.
But you can join the wait listfor weird women who wonder by
going in the show notes,clicking the Google form link,
and filling out those threelittle questions.
It's just first name, Instagramhandle, and your email address.
So if you want to be in theknow, then you gotta get on that
(18:41):
list because those are thepeople that I will be emailing
and that will get um input onwhere we actually go this um
this new year.
So, all right, my loves, that isit for today's episode.
If this spoke to your soul, makesure to follow the show on
Instagram, on Spotify, on ApplePodcasts, wherever it is that
(19:01):
you are.
We even have a TikTok.
Um, but the big thing really forme is that you take just a few
minutes to leave a rating or areview on Spotify or Apple
Podcasts, because it's just me.
It's totally just me.
I don't have a team, I do allthis shit myself.
I'm just now, I think, startingto take it more seriously when
it comes to the recording.
(19:22):
I'm about to get a newmicrophone and I've been
listening to Morbid.
Just gonna go ahead and plugthem, by the way.
Fucking love.
Morbid True Crime, if youhaven't checked it out.
One of the best podcasts I'veever heard.
So shout out to Elena andAshley.
I fucking love y'all.
Um, oh, that'd be really cool toget them on the show.
Oh my god, I wonder if they dothat.
(19:44):
But by, you know, leavingreviews, by leaving um ratings
and all that good shit, thatactually helps us podcasters so
much more than you know, becauseit helps us go up in the charts
and it helps us get moreexposure.
We get recommended and all thethings.
So, um, and don't forget, youcan totally come connect with me
(20:04):
on Instagram.
My personal account is atJacqueline Cotton.
You can see that in the shownotes, and the show account is
at just women talking shit.
Or you can send your stories,ask your questions, um, all
those things, you can email meat JWTS podcast at gmail.com
(20:28):
because I fucking love hearingfrom you.
Just be sure that if you don'twant your name mentioned in the
episode that you put, that youwould like to remain anonymous.
Um, and yeah, until next time,keep showing up, keep talking
your shit, and keep becoming thewoman that you were always meant
to be.
Hello, you beautiful humans.
Welcome back to Just WomenTalking Shit, the no fluff
self-help podcast for women whoare done pretending and ready to
evolve.
I'm your host, JacquelineCotton, personal evolution
mentor, retreat leader, and yourhonest as hell friend who's here
to help you grow through thegood shit, bad shit, weird shit,
(00:23):
and all of life's shit inbetween.
Today we're talking aboutsomething that hits home for
just about everyone.
Waiting.
unknown (00:33):
Uh oh.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Waiting to feel ready, waiting for the right
time.
You can't see me, but I have airquotes around that.
Waiting for the motivation tojust magically show up.
But here's the truth.
You don't need more time.
Uh oh.
You need to start now.
I used to convince myself that Iwould start therapy when life
(00:58):
slowed down.
Except, spoiler alert, it neverdid.
Life just kept handing me newchaos with a different fucking
outfit.
So let's get real.
Let's talk about the myth ofready.
Again, air quotes around ready.
There is no magical version ofyou that is going to wake up one
(01:21):
day and say, okay, I feel 100%ready to face my trauma and
change my entire fucking life.
Today's the day.
Gonna cram it all in.
Healing doesn't work like that,unfortunately.
Growth, again, unfortunately,doesn't work like that.
Hell, laundry doesn't even worklike that.
It just piles up until youfucking deal with it.
(01:44):
When I launched my first everretreat, this is just an
example.
I was terrified.
And I have full-body chills as Isay that because I remember
being so scared.
I didn't feel ready.
I was sure, like very, verysure, that there was someone
(02:05):
else out there that was way morequalified than me.
You know, that they've beenplanning events, they have all
these certifications, they'vegot all the credentials that,
you know, if if they're standingnext to me, they're gonna choose
them.
That's how I felt.
But if I had waited until I feltready, I'd still be sitting on
(02:25):
my couch, scrolling Instagram,telling myself that I would do
it next year.
Spoiler alert, we just finishedthe third year of my annual
women's retreat.
And I'm gonna cry.
That blows my mind that I get toplan the fourth annual retreat
(02:48):
for women now, that people arecoming from all over the country
to be part of this.
So here's what I have to tellyou.
Waiting for confidence is likewaiting for motivation to go to
the gym.
It honestly only ever shows upafter you start.
That first day fucking sucks.
(03:09):
The second day fucking sucks.
Third day, you're wanting toquit.
Fourth day, you're gonna take abreak.
Probably fifth day, you gottaget back on top of it.
There's nobody there that canpull your feet out of the bed
and make you do the shit.
Nobody can force you to lift theweights, nobody can force you to
(03:30):
go for the walk, right?
But after you do it repeatedlyfor a little while, a couple of
weeks, a few weeks, you start tonotice this is getting easier.
I'm not resisting as much.
I went from five-pound dumbbellsto ten-pound dumbbells, like
it's immeasurable at that point,right?
(03:52):
So let me say that again.
Waiting on confidence is likewaiting for motivation to go to
the gym.
It only shows up after youstart.
And that's the thing.
It hit me like a fucking ton ofbricks one day.
I was like, when I came intothis world, I didn't have
confidence, but also didn't haveconfidence issues.
(04:14):
So somewhere along the lines,that shit was a learned
behavior.
So if we all come into thisworld bare ass, butt ass naked,
wheelie's out, right?
We all come in with uh thecapability of learning that
skill set, which is confidence.
(04:36):
And that's what really blew mymind was that confidence is a
skill set.
But here's why we wait.
We wait because uh and this isgonna tap into your nervous
system, this is conditioning,this is science.
It makes you feel safer becauseas long as we're waiting, we
(04:56):
don't actually risk failing.
We don't have to risk beingseen.
You know?
Nobody can go, I told you so, orany of that shit.
That you know, you don't want tohear.
But the reality is is thatwaiting and doing nothing, those
(05:17):
are still a decision.
So sometimes doing nothing atall is doing something.
And sometimes doing somethingjust needs to be nothing.
So it's up to you to find thatbalance.
Nobody else can do that for you.
But and this is where I gottalay it down, real talk.
(05:40):
You're choosing to stay in thesame pain that you already know.
So by waiting and not taking aleap, not taking the first step,
not crawling your lazy ass outof bed and going for the fucking
walk.
You could just start with like atwo-minute walk, okay, up and
down the driveway.
You're choosing to stay in thatsame pain that you have been
(06:02):
experiencing.
You're choosing to stay stuck.
So just think about it.
Staying in that toxicrelationship.
This is an example because theholidays are coming up, or
waiting to quit your drainingjob until you've saved a little
more.
Those are your decisions.
(06:22):
I'm not saying that you shouldjust like uh say, I'm fucking
following, I'm filing fordivorce, or I'm taking the dog
and I'm moving out of theapartment.
Like, you know in your heart ofhearts what would make you
happy, but it's creating thisthis goalpost that is so far
away, and then never taking anyof the steps to get there.
(06:45):
Right?
So also not saying go quit yourfucking job and don't pay your
bills, be smart, all right?
But could you take on a side jobthat could eventually replace
that job?
Could you start a business?
Could you do something out ofthe comfort of your own home,
like painting, and start sellingsome of those and save up a
(07:06):
little bit more?
Could you take the leap?
Either way, the decision isyours, and you're the one that
has to experience the realitybecause of it.
So every time that we say, Oh,not yet, we're literally
reinforcing the belief that weare not capable yet.
(07:27):
And that's the real lie.
Because I want you to thinkback.
I want you to think back on oneof the most hard times in your
life, or the most difficulttimes in your life.
I want you to think about beingin that bad relationship that
you got out of.
I want you to think aboutgetting out of that terrible job
(07:48):
that that was just draining yoursoul.
I want you to think about thetime that maybe you were in
between homes or you couldn'tfind a job and you didn't know
how you're gonna pay the bills.
I want you to think aboutsomething that you've been
through that you've overcome,that you can now go, wow, man,
you fucking made it throughthat.
You are incredible.
Because our friends tell usstories, and if you go watch
(08:11):
television, you you're inspiredby all these other people's
pain, and oh man, wow, you gotthrough that.
But then you don't take the timeto reflect on how strong you
are.
So that's why I say that part,thinking that you're not capable
yet, that is such a bold-facedfucking lie.
You are capable of so much.
(08:32):
So I just wanted to remind youof that.
But hey, before we keep going,if this episode is hitting home
or if you know someone who needsto hear this message, hit pause
right now.
You're not gonna hurt myfeelings, and share this episode
link with them.
Send it in a text message, sendit through Facebook Messenger,
(08:53):
send it through Instagram DMs,send it through WhatsApp, send a
fucking message in a bottle.
I don't care how you do it, butshare this episode with them,
let them know that you care.
But this, this is for theperson, this is for the friend,
this is for the coworker, thisis for the the colleague, this
(09:13):
is for whoever in your life, andif it's you, then you already
know that.
But whoever it is that keepssaying that she'll she'll start
tomorrow, you know, I'll startone day, right?
Show her that you love her bygiving her this gentle nudge
right now, because I trulybelieve that we grow better
(09:34):
together.
Okay, let's get to the goodstuff.
Like, how do you start healingtoday?
That's the real question, right?
So, what does it actually looklike?
What is starting look like?
It's not about fixing everythingin one day, because I'm gonna
tell you what, my laundry listis hella long.
(09:56):
It takes a lifetime, right?
It's it's not about being thequickest to finish the race,
right?
It's about momentum, it's aboutcreating small, consistent
choices that will build thetrust in yourself again, because
that's what it's really about isyou don't trust yourself to
(10:18):
finish the task.
You don't trust yourself to besuccessful, you don't trust
yourself to to follow throughwith your commitment, right?
You don't trust yourself enoughto fail so that you can gather
lessons from that experience anddo better next time.
So I'm gonna lay it out for you.
I'm gonna give you threeactionable fucking steps to
(10:39):
start today.
Number one, do one thingdifferently today.
So, example, if you normallywake up and doom scroll, take
five minutes, as soon as youwake up, right, to sit in
silence and breathe instead.
Because that tiny shift makesall the difference.
(11:04):
I feel like when we wake up andimmediately go to the phone,
when we immediately startwatching videos, we start
scrolling Instagram, we arefalling into the rabbit hole of
let me get your attention andgather your data.
It's if you stop and think aboutit, it's like inviting all these
fucking people into your bedroomand they're just there.
So let that creep you out for amoment.
(11:26):
Let that let that sink in.
Do you want a hundred people inyour bedroom as soon as you
fucking wake up?
Probably not, not me, not me,not my cup of tea.
Some people might be into that,but I don't want people watching
me sleep.
I don't want people watching mewipe my ass, right?
So, like, why do we do that?
Why do we pick up the phoneimmediately?
It's because we are stuck inthis habit loop, and so when we
(11:50):
do one thing differently today,it's going to disrupt the
pattern.
And your patterns, your habitpatterns, the things that you're
doing every day, the really tinyunconscious decisions, that shit
adds up to your ding ding-dingreality.
So if you want to change yourreality, you've got to disrupt
(12:12):
the pattern.
So just do one different thingtoday, okay?
If normally you would spend thetime after work binging Netflix,
I'm talking about like, youknow, you eat on the couch,
you're watching Netflix, youfall asleep on the couch.
Okay.
Maybe instead of that, go for alittle walk instead.
(12:32):
Maybe that's a really good wayto decompress.
These are just some ideas.
Number two, say the hard truthout loud.
Maybe it's I'm not happy in thisrelationship, or I'm not showing
up for myself.
We tend to do that.
We tend to people please, wetend to put ourselves and our
(12:52):
wants and our desires, ourdreams on the back burner,
whether it be for kids, whetherit be for a partner, whether it
be for your boss, whether it befor in-laws, like what the fuck,
right?
We get on to our friends fordoing this, but then we do it to
ourselves.
So naming it, it doesn't make itworse.
(13:14):
It makes it real.
When you say it out loud, it'slike, uh, man, why'd I keep that
in so long?
It creates like vacancy spacewithin your being.
It feels like a weight off yourshoulders, just like giving it
giving it oxygen.
So put that shit out there.
Say it to yourself.
(13:34):
Maybe you know, I'm not happy inthis relationship.
I'm not showing up for myself.
It doesn't make it worse, itjust makes it real.
Number three, and we women havethe worst fucking time doing
this.
Like it's so difficult for us isto ask for help.
(13:55):
No.
Is like, oh, they'll pick up onit, yeah, you know, and no,
people typically around us arenot, especially men, I would
say, um, they're not super awareof what the the hints you're
(14:16):
dropping actually mean.
Why?
Because they're worried abouttheir own shit, they've got
their own thoughts andinsecurities and things that
they want to start tomorrowfloating around in their heads,
right?
So it really, really makes a bigdifference when you just
directly ask for help.
Say it out loud, message thatfriend, email your therapist,
(14:38):
hell, send me a DM at JaclynCotton or on just Woman Talking
Shit on Instagram and like I'mhere, I'll listen to your shit,
okay?
But you have to actually ask.
And I need you to know thatasking doesn't make you weak.
It really doesn't.
Ever since I started askingdirectly for help from my
(15:00):
husband or asking my mom to helpwith my kids for the weekend and
just saying, I'm about to losemy shit.
Get these crotch goblins out ofmy house and let me just lay
naked in my bed if I want to,right?
Like, sometimes we just needpeople to step in and either let
us know that we're cared for orloved or that we matter enough
(15:23):
to take, you know, to take thetime to spend with our kids so
that we can have time forourselves.
Um, you know, when I ask myhusband for help, instead of
just hoping that he figures itout, it takes a it takes so
much, you know, off my platethat maybe I wasn't good at or
maybe I just can't handle today.
And so I think it's reallyimportant that you know that
(15:44):
you're not you're not weak forasking.
I think you're really brave forstarting, for starting to ask
for help.
Because remember, healing is notit's not something you can do
overnight, it's not adestination.
Um and it certainly isn't goingto have a time frame.
It really is a lifestyle, likeflossing.
(16:06):
Uncomfortable at first, youknow, but if you skip it too
long, things start rotting.
So just just be brave enough tosay, you know what, I do need
help.
I do need a break.
I I I can't tackle these dishes.
I've got, you know, um work todo, or some of us are students,
I've got to do schoolwork.
(16:27):
So you're not break, you're not,you're not broken for asking for
help.
Okay.
Just just do it.
Just do it already.
Life gets a lot easier when youhave people helping you.
Now, if you're feeling thatspark to go deeper, to stop
waiting and to start living, Ijust want to tell you, and this
is a new rebrand of my annualretreat.
(16:49):
It has shifted because Ifinally, I finally it just hit
me when I was in the pool withmy wonderful um clients and you
know, everybody that was therein Phoenix, um, that we all have
one thing in common.
We're wild and we're weird,right?
And so the wait list for weirdwomen who wander.
(17:13):
Yes, I love it too! Did you lovethat name?
But the wait list for the weirdwomen who wander 2026 retreat is
officially open.
It's it's not a just a vacation,okay.
I'm gonna be honest.
Um, yeah, we have you know somuch fun.
(17:34):
Like, for instance, um we werechilling in the pool drinking
THC infused drinks.
At one point, we microdosed somemushrooms and we had a fucking
blast and talking about anythingand everything, masturbation,
like nothing was off limits.
We had so much fun, okay.
It's a transformation, it reallyfucking is because when you
(17:57):
there's something, there'ssomething so amazing about
getting in a sacred space withother women who are ready to
stop waiting around and theywant to fucking evolve.
So we show our weirdest selves,and and everybody is just so at
home at these events, and so ohmy gosh, not just a vacation,
it's also a transformation.
It sounds cheesy, but it'sfucking true.
(18:18):
Just ask the other women whohave participated.
But you can join the wait listfor weird women who wonder by
going in the show notes,clicking the Google form link,
and filling out those threelittle questions.
It's just first name, Instagramhandle, and your email address.
So if you want to be in theknow, then you gotta get on that
(18:41):
list because those are thepeople that I will be emailing
and that will get um input onwhere we actually go this um
this new year.
So, all right, my loves, that isit for today's episode.
If this spoke to your soul, makesure to follow the show on
Instagram, on Spotify, on ApplePodcasts, wherever it is that
(19:01):
you are.
We even have a TikTok.
Um, but the big thing really forme is that you take just a few
minutes to leave a rating or areview on Spotify or Apple
Podcasts, because it's just me.
It's totally just me.
I don't have a team, I do allthis shit myself.
I'm just now, I think, startingto take it more seriously when
it comes to the recording.
(19:22):
I'm about to get a newmicrophone and I've been
listening to Morbid.
Just gonna go ahead and plugthem, by the way.
Fucking love.
Morbid True Crime, if youhaven't checked it out.
One of the best podcasts I'veever heard.
So shout out to Elena andAshley.
I fucking love y'all.
Um, oh, that'd be really cool toget them on the show.
Oh my god, I wonder if they dothat.
(19:44):
But by, you know, leavingreviews, by leaving um ratings
and all that good shit, thatactually helps us podcasters so
much more than you know, becauseit helps us go up in the charts
and it helps us get moreexposure.
We get recommended and all thethings.
So, um, and don't forget, youcan totally come connect with me
(20:04):
on Instagram.
My personal account is atJacqueline Cotton.
You can see that in the shownotes, and the show account is
at just women talking shit.
Or you can send your stories,ask your questions, um, all
those things, you can email meat JWTS podcast at gmail.com
(20:28):
because I fucking love hearingfrom you.
Just be sure that if you don'twant your name mentioned in the
episode that you put, that youwould like to remain anonymous.
Um, and yeah, until next time,keep showing up, keep talking
your shit, and keep becoming thewoman that you were always meant
to be.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com