May 13, 2025 • 37 mins
Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly focus on David as we analyzed his leadership and his inclination to seek the Lord’s counsel. David was placed in a position of power as king, and instead of being led by man or power, he constantly sought the Lord when making decisions. We see this in 1 and 2 Samuel, David sought God from when King Saul was hunting him to when he was on the throne, making royal decisions. How often are you leaning on the Lord for counsel? We also had Jessica Ronne join us to discuss resources for caregivers. Jessica is an author, caregiver advocate, podcast host of “Coffee with Caregivers,” and the associate producer of the documentary “Unseen: How We’re Failing Parent Caregivers & Why It Matters.” She is also the founder and executive director of The Lucas Project, a nonprofit dedicated to serving parent caregivers. She has also authored several books, including her latest, “Caregiving with Grit and Grace.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:00):
Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (00:08):
In your opinion, what's been the best super team in
sports history?
S3 (00:13):
Oh, good question.
S2 (00:14):
Best super team loaded with talent. I'm going 90s bulls.
I think you're gonna. You. Thank you. We are in Chicago,
so I gotta go. I got to go with the
the repeat the three peat. And I know there was
some personnel changes in there, but Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen.
(00:40):
Dennis rodman, Dennis Rodman for the I think he was
around for the the the later the later ones. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you say? Super teams.
S3 (00:49):
Any sport. As much as I hate to admit it
because I don't like the team, uh, the New England Patriots. Oh, yeah.
Six Super Bowl wins. Uh, under one quarterback is, uh,
something that's never happened before. No quarterback, I think, has
had over four other than Tom Brady, who's had seven.
He did one with another team. Uh, but it's uh,
(01:12):
I mean, it's an impressive feat.
S2 (01:14):
Yeah.
S3 (01:15):
I think he won his last one with him in 2018.
He was I think 40. He was 40 something, 42,
43 at that time. So that's pretty insane.
S2 (01:24):
That is it's impressive. What do you think? You listening?
I pick any sport. What's your favorite super team? This
was a team that had great success that was loaded
with talent, any sport, any era. Give me your favorite
super team 855 five, 7898. Text messages only for this
one 800 555 7898 we've got 1985 Chicago Bears says
(01:50):
1934 who's my other one? Yes. Is that the year
they won the Super Bowl, or was that 8485? Was
the year okay 90s Detroit Red wings. Oh, they were amazing. Yeah,
that was the era. Really? I don't.
S4 (02:06):
Know names. I'm sorry, but I remember the team. Yes, absolutely.
S2 (02:09):
Well, keep them coming. What do you say your favorite
super team? 805, 55, 78, 98.
S4 (02:15):
And I know going back to Chicago. I'm sorry, but
I bleed cubbie blue. I do. Okay. The 2016 the
World Series Cubbie team, they bought the World Series back
to Chicago.
S3 (02:27):
I thought we were doing dynasties. I'll take it. My favorite.
S4 (02:30):
Sports.
S3 (02:31):
Dynasties. Multiple years dies. Not a dynasty. A really good team.
S2 (02:35):
I mean, super team. As in, just, like, loaded with talent.
Usually that leads to at least some success. Okay, but
it doesn't have to be a dynasty. And that certainly
was a special group. They got it one year and.
S4 (02:46):
And the personalities on that team.
S3 (02:48):
Yeah, it was fun. It was a good year.
S4 (02:49):
Yeah.
S2 (02:50):
That 20 tens Blackhawks. Yep. Oh yeah. That was a
good year. The last women gymnastics team USA. I mean,
they said. And the one before. Well, any team that
Simone Biles has been on, that's pretty true. She is
her own super team. Yes. When you are, when your
(03:10):
skill level and athleticism and ability to perform those certain
feats are so far above everybody else doing the same thing,
I think you become a super team. Got another vote?
Vote for 90 Bulls. The 2018 Golden State Warriors. And
then they gave me a breakdown. Prime Steph Curry prime
Klay Thompson prime Kevin Durant.
S4 (03:32):
That's good.
S2 (03:33):
And others. But if you don't follow basketball that may
bore you. Let's see. Okay. Jesus and the disciples. Absolutely.
I'm with you on that. There you go. 1970 Brazil's
soccer team with Pele. Oh, yeah. The Cubs in 1969
and Cubs in 2016. 1969 Cubs.
S4 (03:52):
They were close. Yeah, they didn't bring it home, but yeah,
it was a good team.
S2 (03:56):
1980 US Olympic hockey team, the Cincinnati Reds. The big
red machine. Mia Hamm in that group in women's soccer.
I remember that. What was that? Was that was the Olympics.
Was that 2000? Oh, look that up for me right here.
Another vote for bears 85 the Edmonton Oilers, mid 1980s
(04:16):
early 90s.
S3 (04:18):
I don't know anything about the Edmonton Oilers.
S2 (04:19):
Got some real, real sports fans here. You got a
date on that women's soccer team?
S4 (04:23):
Yeah, it was a World Cup.
S2 (04:25):
It was me. I do remember.
S4 (04:27):
91 and 99 Olympics. Yeah, and then two gold Olympics.
I'm trying to get the year on that. But yeah
that's right.
S2 (04:34):
Dallas Cowboys with is it Staubach?
S4 (04:37):
Staubach.
S2 (04:38):
Staubach.
S3 (04:38):
Staubach.
S4 (04:39):
Roger.
S2 (04:39):
Was that the.
S3 (04:40):
Quarterback.
S2 (04:41):
I'm going to quickly I know a lot about basketball.
But the minute you get me into any other sport.
S4 (04:48):
Who's that.
S2 (04:50):
Side note I had to I had to do the score.
So the scores table at the.
S3 (04:55):
Oh, really?
S2 (04:56):
At my daughter's basketball game, which I've always avoided having
to do because I don't really like ever doing it.
And so I'm literally on the sidelines at the game
before on ChatGPT going, what do I need to know
to do the score book for my daughter's AAU basketball game?
And then it actually gave me a breakdown.
S4 (05:14):
Oh, did it.
S2 (05:15):
List the name and number of all of the girls?
And I had to track the fouls, and I had
to track the points, and I had to track the timeouts,
and ChatGPT got it done for me. I managed to
do it without any sort of mishaps. I felt proud
of myself.
S3 (05:30):
Nice job.
S2 (05:31):
Sports fans.
S4 (05:32):
Go, mom!
S3 (05:33):
She did.
S2 (05:33):
It. Thank you. To 3428 says Carl and crew. You got.
You're sweet.
S3 (05:39):
Wow.
S2 (05:39):
Super team.
S4 (05:41):
So nice. I know. Thank you.
S2 (05:43):
Coming up, as we look at the life of David.
Think about every super team you've ever heard of, and
I guarantee David had the exact opposite on his team.
He had to lead the group that nobody would have picked,
but yet he led them. Well, let's look at the
life of David coming up.
S1 (06:02):
He was running from God, but God's love brought him home.
Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on
Moody Radio.
S2 (06:12):
Well, David's team to me was a little like the
Little Rascals. You ever seen that movie?
S3 (06:18):
Yes. It's like.
S2 (06:20):
It's hilarious. It's Alfalfa and Spanky. Oh, yeah. And who
were the other ones?
S4 (06:26):
Darla.
S3 (06:27):
Buckwheat.
S4 (06:28):
Buckwheat.
S2 (06:28):
You know, and they were kind of like they gave
kind of the a little bit of the neighborhood outcasts
a little bit.
S3 (06:36):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (06:36):
Kind of a ragtag bunch. Sure. But they had great
adventures together. They did want you to listen to this
out of first Samuel 22, starting with verse one. This
is David fleeing from Saul. It says David departed from
there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when
his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they
went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress,
(07:00):
and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was
bitter in soul gathered to him, and he became commander
over them. And there were with him about 400 men.
I have always read that little passage and found it
fascinating that that's the detail that was included. This is
the list of David's men. This is the description of them.
(07:20):
It doesn't say every mighty warrior, every man trained for battle,
every man gifted and skilled. It says everyone who was
in distress, in debt and bitter in soul gathered to him,
and he became their leader. Paraphrase just.
S4 (07:36):
A bit.
S2 (07:38):
And for some reason I find that fascinating. One why
were those the people that were drawn to David? could.
You could speculate, I guess, that David was a man
on the run. So maybe the outcasts felt like a
connection to him.
S4 (07:54):
I could see that, definitely.
S3 (07:55):
Somebody who's like, well, that guy has nowhere to go.
He'll obviously he's on the run to probably some people
on the run a little bit from the King or
from other people saying, well, if he's on the run,
you know, he'll protect me if I come with him.
S2 (08:08):
It's joined forces with this guy. I'm in distress. I'm
in debt. I'm in. I'm bitter in soul. David, you're
my guy. And yet David was able to lead this
ragtag group to great victory. We read on. This is
now first Samuel 23, verse one, chapter one, chapter later.
(08:30):
Who knows? I don't know exactly how much time has passed,
but it is this same group of men. David inquired
of the Lord again, and the Lord answered him, arise,
go down to Keilah for I will give the Philistines.
Philistines into your hand. And David and his men went
to Keilah and fought with the Philistines, and brought away
their livestock, and struck them with a great blow. Victor,
(08:52):
that was a victory. Major military victory. David and his mighty.
S4 (08:58):
Little.
S2 (08:58):
Rascals. Mighty little rascal men. Verse 20. This is now
chapter 27. Very similarly, he goes up and he makes
raids against different inhabitants in the land, and they have
victory once again. Key thing here, though, David inquired of
the Lord. So one of the things I want to
(09:22):
kind of explore is this. My takeaway from this aspect
of David's leadership is that when the Lord is your leader,
you can lead anyone. Amen.
S4 (09:33):
That's. Yes.
S2 (09:34):
And so you think about how often you feel like
you don't have what you need to go into battle.
Whether it's the right people, the right skill set, the
right gifting. David certainly would have been disadvantaged with this group,
especially compared to Saul's army or the Philistines.
S4 (09:57):
Oh goodness.
S2 (09:57):
Right.
S3 (09:58):
I mean, significantly smaller, significantly.
S2 (10:01):
Remember, need I go back to first Samuel 22? Everyone
who was in distress, debt or bitter in soul flocked
to David.
S4 (10:10):
Sign me up.
S2 (10:11):
And became his army.
S4 (10:12):
Yeah.
S2 (10:13):
So I'm curious to know, have you ever felt kind
of undermanned for what you needed? This could have been
from a people standpoint, but anytime. Can you think about
a time you were in a position of leadership and
you felt like in the natural you did not have
what you needed, but you inquired of the Lord. We'd
love to hear from you this morning. Kind of a nuance,
(10:33):
but I want you to really think about this. The
times when you when you've been tasked to lead something
you didn't feel like you had what you need, but
you had God on your side. 800 555 7898. Let's
hear from you this morning. 800 555 78. 98.
S1 (10:50):
A basketball mom who's mastered the dad joke. Ali is
in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (10:59):
To be certain, some people have the spiritual gift of leadership.
S3 (11:05):
Sure.
S2 (11:07):
Definitively. We see that in Scripture, and you sometimes see
it in personality. I would say that my son, from
an early age, we could tell that he had a
natural inclination towards leadership.
S3 (11:19):
Yeah.
S2 (11:20):
And we would see this when he was young, really young.
It would come out in in funny ways because he
didn't really know what to do with that. So any,
any sort of mischief he would get into usually involved
his misuse of leadership. Classic example. I'll give you two.
One of the first times he got in not trouble,
(11:41):
but the teacher had to talk to me, kind of
just to help rein him in. He was in, I
think he was five and he was in a class
of kids, and the teacher pulled me aside afterwards. She said,
I had to tell your son today he's not allowed
to release kids to go to the bathroom. I know
that he feels like he's trying to help, but it's
(12:02):
best if I am in that role of teacher. I said, okay,
I can definitely tell him that he can't give permission. Why?
They listen to him, I don't know, but he would
give kids permission and release them from the class. And
apparently they felt like that was authority enough. Another time
he got a class job. You remember the class jobs?
S3 (12:21):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (12:22):
Absolutely. And so he was the bathroom line leader. And
you would have thought he was president of the United States.
S3 (12:29):
Because he took it that seriously.
S2 (12:30):
He took it so seriously. And so apparently this time
he was maybe overstepping or not doing a great job
in his leadership gifting because he came home in absolute distress.
S4 (12:42):
He said, this.
S2 (12:43):
Is first grade. My teacher said if I get one
more complaint, I'm fired from my job.
S4 (12:50):
Oh. Poor baby. Oh.
S2 (12:52):
I'm going. Okay.
S3 (12:54):
He took it like he's getting a paycheck that the
whole family's retired.
S2 (12:58):
If I.
S5 (12:58):
Get one more complaint.
S2 (13:00):
I'm like, what kind of complaints are kids filing about
the bathroom line leader? I don't know if he was
letting the line move too slow.
S4 (13:08):
They weren't in line again.
S2 (13:10):
Releasing kids too quickly into the bathroom or too slowly.
So his leadership inclination has been evident from a young age,
and we just have to try to rein him in
and help him be in the constraints of what's appropriate,
given his age and his level of authority. But what
we take from David's passage of Scripture is in the
first and second Samuel is that it wasn't necessarily his
(13:33):
natural inclination toward leadership. I think you could definitely make
a case for the fact that David was a strong leader,
even as a young man. I would say so. Goliath?
S3 (13:42):
Yeah. No doubt.
S2 (13:43):
But I love that the detail that's often included is
that David inquired of the Lord. David really sought to know,
what is God leading me to do here? And then
he would lead his men accordingly. So it wasn't this
sort of just fly by night. What do I feel
like should be done here? Which is, I think actually
(14:04):
it takes some of the pressure off when you think
about leadership, especially if you don't feel particularly inclined toward it,
that if you are someone who's willing to seek God,
you can be an effective leader of people.
S3 (14:19):
Yeah, sometimes. So this is something that that has been
said when I've been called on to preach, because I'm
not a a preach every Sunday kind of person, but
I've done it before. And and going up on stage
is not something that I always feel confident in. I
often feel very nervous about it. I'd rather I'd rather not,
(14:40):
you know, sometimes. But, uh, I've had people say to me, well,
that's a good indication that you're in the right spot
is because God's given you a gift and you're humble
enough to recognize you don't have it all. If you're
in a spot of I got this, I ain't got
no problem, then that's usually where you get yourself into
the most trouble, because you don't think to inquire of
the Lord, because you think that you're hot enough, stuff
(15:03):
that you don't have to.
S2 (15:05):
And you think about and not to take a weird,
you know, kind of a morbid turn here, but you
think about the people in history who have led a
lot of people astray. Oh, yeah. Down really bad paths. Yes.
And a big part of it was that there was
a natural leadership inclination, the ability to kind of corral people,
(15:27):
to get people to move in one direction. But boy,
if you're not following God, yeah, you can lead a
lot of people astray.
S3 (15:35):
Absolutely. I think of, I think of when Moses was
on the mountain talking to God, and the people of
Israel were sitting there and they're like, no, no one's
here for us. What are we going to do? Aaron
was was like Moses's speaker. So Moses was the leader.
But Aaron was a good leader, too, because he spoke.
And so the people looked up to him and they're
starting to call on him like, we gotta do something.
(15:56):
Moses isn't coming down. What are we going to do?
S5 (15:58):
Yes.
S3 (15:59):
And Aaron, a good leader who did not inquire of God, says, well,
let's build this idol, you know, let's give us a
picture of something we can worship. And and it it
almost wrecked them as a people because a good leader
didn't think to inquire of the Lord and made decisions
that led the people astray.
S2 (16:18):
And that's a great that's very similar. And I'm glad
you brought that one up. And I think I think
it's this is this is the thing I want all
of us to remember is that whether you're leading a
few or many, whether you're leading in your home or
your workplace or a small group or whatever that looks like.
We don't want to rely on natural gifting, whether we
feel like we have it or we don't.
S3 (16:40):
Absolutely.
S2 (16:41):
The key thing is that David inquired of the Lord,
and when he sought the Lord, he became an effective
leader for his ragtag group who was looking to him.
You have an example of this a time when you
were tasked to lead and you know you don't. You
didn't have what it takes, but you inquired of the Lord.
(17:01):
You sought the Lord, the favor, the direction, the wisdom
of the Lord and were able to lead effectively. Tell
me about it. 800 555 7898.
S1 (17:12):
She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her.
Super dei is in the crew. It's Colin Crew on
Moody Radio.
S2 (17:22):
You know, sometimes people can really nourish us with their words.
Have you ever had somebody give you a compliment that
just really blessed you?
S3 (17:33):
Yes, absolutely.
S2 (17:34):
What comes to mind?
S3 (17:35):
I a couple days ago, I was walking around here
and one of our, one of our bosses looked at
me and he said, have you lost any weight? And
I said, I don't think so. And I said, But
I'm never I'm never wearing anything different from the clothes
I'm currently wearing. Thank you so much for saying that.
S5 (17:53):
That's so good.
S3 (17:54):
And that was really nice.
S5 (17:56):
That's so good. That's hilarious.
S2 (17:59):
When's the last time someone gave you a compliment? In
recent memory that that you felt really good about.
S4 (18:08):
I'm trying to think. I feel so bad. I don't know.
Nothing's jumping to mind. I'm so sorry.
S5 (18:16):
No. That's okay.
S4 (18:16):
How about.
S5 (18:17):
You? You know, I this.
S2 (18:18):
Is top of mind because someone complimented me yesterday, and
it really. It really made my day. We, um. It
was a professor here at Moody who you're going to
hear from this week. And after the interview, he said,
you know, you've really grown in your command of Scripture
(18:40):
since you first started interviewing, because I've been interviewing him
now for seven and a half years that I've been
at probably, I would say half a dozen to a
dozen times over, at least.
S3 (18:53):
At least. Absolutely.
S2 (18:55):
And I said it really took my breath away. And
and I told him, you know, I said, I've never
I never went to Bible college. I don't have a
Bible school education. I wasn't even really a faithful Bible
reader to my to my shame. Even growing up, even
though I called myself a Christian, I didn't open the
Bible very, very frequently. And so I said, I feel
(19:16):
like kind of as an adult, I've sort of had
to play catch up, trying to kind of. And so
that compliment the recognition of growth was meant so much
to me.
S3 (19:30):
That's awesome. I mean, what a cool thing and what
I mean, what a compliment to it.
S2 (19:33):
So like, there's so much more I want to like.
I mean, I still feel like such a novice in
terms of trying to understand scripture and trying to make
sense of it and, and then trying to at times
like teach.
S3 (19:46):
It's not easy.
S2 (19:47):
It's not easy. And so it was such a it
was such a kind thing for him to say.
S4 (19:51):
And it's, it's not so much just the compliment but
also the source of that compliment.
S2 (19:56):
I mean.
S4 (19:57):
I mean, hands down, you know. Wow.
S2 (20:00):
Humbling. Because this is a man who I mean, talk
about someone who has command of the Word of God,
no doubt. But I'm curious to know what's the what's
the last time or someone gave you a compliment that
really meant something to you, and especially if it was
something beyond like the the superficial because yeah, it's it's
great if someone says, hey, I love that new haircut
or have you been working out? Or, you know, having
(20:23):
being complimented on your physical appearance is nice, but when's
the last time someone gave you a compliment that went
a little deeper and really, really encouraged you? Uh, let's
get text messages on this one last compliment that really,
really encouraged you. 805 55 7898 805 55 7898. Maybe
(20:43):
you can compliment someone else today. Look for the good
that you can see in people and call it out.
S1 (20:50):
He was sharing the gospel on the radio and then
he got saved. Young thunders in the crew. It's Carl
and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (21:00):
Loving seeing these compliments. I asked you this question. What's
the last compliment you received that really, really encouraged you?
This one came in from someone who said, I got
married too late and I wasn't able to have children.
This past Sunday, which was Mother's Day at church, my
best friend and her husband thanked me for helping raise
their sons.
S3 (21:20):
What a cool.
S4 (21:21):
Thing. That was beautiful.
S3 (21:23):
I love that, and I love that she took on
the the responsibility of saying, well, you know what? Not
the responsibility. But that's the wrong word. But just saying, like,
you know what, I can't have kids, but I'm going
to invest into into other people's lives and be a
figure that's a, you know, that can help them. And
she took that on and it was seen and appreciated.
S4 (21:41):
I love that. Yeah.
S2 (21:42):
That's awesome. 6476 as my wife told me, I'm the
father her kids never had.
S3 (21:47):
Wow.
S2 (21:49):
Wow.
S3 (21:50):
That's amazing.
S2 (21:51):
Wow. Awesome. One Sunday at church. On Sunday at church,
one of the young adult leaders was talking about the
fruit of the spirit and said that I represent joy.
I was in complete shock considering I battle with mental
health and many days are challenging. So someone telling you
that you exude joy, even though often you feel like
it's a struggle. Oh boy. My my adult son said
(22:14):
that I was the best and most beautiful mom ever.
S4 (22:17):
Oh, melt my heart. Hayley and I are like, yes! Oh, man.
S2 (22:23):
You can keep them coming. The text message. Text messages
on this one. The compliment that you received recently that really,
really encouraged you.
S1 (22:33):
This is Curl and Crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (22:38):
As we look at the life of David, these different, uh,
different takeaways today, we've been talking about the leadership of David.
And as I've been just reading through in my own
personal devotion time, I've been in first and second Samuel
and kind of looking at David's life for a little bit,
the leadership aspect struck me, um, he had to take
courageous stands, sometimes even going against what his men were
(23:00):
telling him to do, go ahead and and kill Saul.
The Lord's giving you, giving you him. He's right there
in front of you. And it sounded like good advice,
but David knew better Because David walked closely with the Lord.
And so I'm asking you. I've been asking you. What's
the time you had to take a stand? Maybe even that,
(23:21):
when it went against conventional wisdom or what other people
were even telling you to do because you knew you'd
heard from the Lord? 805 55 7898 let's go to
Donna calling in this morning from Illinois. Tell me, Donna,
have you experienced this in your own life?
S6 (23:38):
I did. I took care of my mom for ten years.
And when my mom died, I was the executor of
her will because I didn't understand wills that much. I
went to a lawyer so he could read it and
help me. And in my mom's will, it said the money,
which was not a lot, should be divided between my
(24:00):
two sisters and myself. And the lawyer said to me, well,
because you didn't take any money for taking care of
your mom for ten years, you should take all the
money that's left. And I said, well, that's not what
my mom's will says. So I'm going to fulfill my
mom's will because the Lord really nudged me, that I
(24:23):
should do exactly what was right and fulfill her will.
S2 (24:27):
Oh, Donna.
S4 (24:27):
I love that.
S6 (24:29):
And not the lawyer.
S2 (24:30):
Yeah, and you know what? It could have been tempting,
because if you felt like, you know, there's a little
bit of an imbalance here where I don't feel like
I know as much about Wills. And this lawyer, who knows,
maybe more than me in this area, is advising me this.
It would have been maybe tempting to take that advice,
but you said the Lord nudged you toward honoring your
mom's wishes.
S6 (24:50):
Yes, definitely. Definitely.
S2 (24:53):
Donna from Illinois. Sweet story. You know, that's when you
know you're getting counsel that's motivated by worldly gains.
S3 (25:03):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (25:03):
That's another one that that should send up that red flag, right?
S3 (25:07):
No doubt. No doubt about.
S2 (25:08):
That. This is the obvious move because this will benefit
you the most. Yeah, sometimes it goes that way, but
a lot of times it's like, ah, no. Like the
obvious way isn't always, or even often God's way. Coming up,
we have a real treat for you. You're going to
hear an encouragement for caregivers. We just mentioned Donna, a
(25:32):
caretaker for her mom for ten years. So many of
you find yourself in that role caregiving, caretaking, caring for
a loved one. Long days. Sometimes thankless hours. Thankless tasks.
But God has given you strength to persevere. You'll hear
a story coming up.
S1 (25:49):
Your shot of hope to help you through the day.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (25:56):
Well, some of the most holy, sacred work happens in
the unseen spaces. It's not broadcast. It's not up on
a stage. There's not cameras following Caregivers. So many people
find themselves in that role, whether it's for an aging parent,
whether it's for a child. Truly, people of all ages
(26:17):
could find themselves on either the receiving or the giving
end of a caregiver relationship. It's an important one that
isn't talked about enough. Special guest wants to change that.
She's a caregiver advocate. Jess. Ronnie. Tell me a little
bit about your journey as a caregiver. You have spent
much of your life in this role.
S7 (26:39):
Yes, I have. My story really began in 2004, when
I went to what I thought would be a routine
ultrasound appointment for my second child, and it was there
that we were told he had experienced a stroke in utero,
and there was very little hope. It was suggested that
we terminate and try again. My husband and I did
not go that route. Instead, we decided to put the
(27:00):
baby in the Lord's hands and Lucas came screaming with
life on August 12th, 12, 2004, and after undergoing brain
surgery and spending two weeks in the NICU, we were
sent home with our miracle baby with just an umbrella
diagnosis of special needs. And so we went home and
just settled into life. It was very challenging. He was
(27:22):
delayed in every aspect of life and he hardly ever slept.
And we ended up having our daughter a couple of
years later in 2007. And that's when my journey shifted
once again. My husband, Jason started having all of these
unexplainable health problems massive weight loss, disorientation, vision loss, and
(27:43):
he passed out at home one night, was rushed to
the local ER, and it was discovered that he had
a baseball sized brain tumor. He would go on to
fight brain cancer for three years. We had another baby
in the middle of that journey and he ultimately passed away.
August 24th, 2010.
S2 (27:58):
Wow, Jess, you know, you've I'm sure you've now had
to tell that abbreviated form of your story many, many times.
But so much pain and anguish in those years. How
did you navigate the complicated emotions of trying to, you know,
rejoicing in the new life of these babies that God
(28:20):
had given you as you're grieving the illness and ultimately
the death of a husband while still trying to care
for a child with special needs. I mean, take us
to those years. How did you manage? How did God
bring you through that season?
S7 (28:37):
You know, I reacted very differently with each of those
two different scenarios. I really leaned into the Shepherd's care
when I was pregnant with Lucas, and really relied on
his strength and surrendered immediately to his grace and his mercy,
and to this knowledge that his will would be done
(29:01):
either healing Lucas, or providing me with what I needed
to be a mom to Lucas, or providing healing to
Lucas in heaven. And so I experienced that peace that
passes understanding during that pregnancy. My reaction was very different
with Jason's illness and battle with cancer, I. I really
(29:22):
felt like life was unfair at that point. Here I
had four children under six years old, one with profound disabilities,
and a husband who was fighting brain cancer for three years.
And I was really angry. I wrestled with the Lord,
I wailed, I lamented, and ultimately, about two weeks before
Jason passed away, I dropped to my knees in surrender
(29:44):
and said, Lord, I don't know why you've called me
to such a difficult path, but I will obey. And
in this moment I choose to have faith that you
know what you're doing. And in that moment of surrender,
I was able to usher Jason into eternity over the
next two weeks with that piece that had been lacking
(30:06):
for so many years.
S2 (30:08):
Wow. Now, so much of the the journey as a caregiver, um,
you hear about the kind of the bitterness and the
and the resentment that can develop not at the person
who's receiving the care, but just kind of at the
circumstances that you mentioned, that feeling of this isn't fair.
I'm sure so many people who have been in a
(30:29):
caregiver role have wrestled with those emotions. Why? This is
just not how I pictured life going. What do you
tell people having faced those same feelings yourself?
S7 (30:40):
The biggest game changer for me honestly arrived when Lucas
started to go through puberty. Uh, like I mentioned, Lucas
is profoundly disabled and needs assistance in every aspect of life.
He's incontinent, he needs assistance in feeding, he's non-verbal. And
as he started to go through puberty, he became very
aggressive towards his siblings, towards me, towards himself. We had
(31:04):
a lot of behavioural challenges and one day I had
a book deadline and I was starting a nonprofit and
I had really important things that I was trying to
work on. And Lucas was home sick from school, and
all Lucas did all day long was scream, and I
was getting very annoyed and irritated that my important things
(31:24):
couldn't get accomplished because I continued to have to care
for Lucas and his needs. At 15 years old. And
as I was rushing around with this resentment, the Holy
Spirit whispered, this is holy work, Jess. This is the
holiest work you can do. This side of eternity is
caring for someone who cannot care for themselves. And in fact,
in doing this work, you are becoming more Christ like.
(31:48):
And it was such an aha moment for me that
I had been in this caregiver role for 15 years
and had always kind of felt annoyed and irritated, but
in completely shifting my perspective to see it as holy
work and the work that was making me more like
my Savior. Just completely changed everything for me. So much
so that I had a sign created that said, this
(32:10):
is holy work, and I hung it above Lucas's bed
as just a constant, tangible reminder to myself that this
was the most important work that I could be doing.
S2 (32:20):
What guidance would you give someone, Jess, who just does
not feel equipped for the role of caregiver? Maybe they're
they've entered into it unexpectedly or reluctantly, or wishing somebody
else maybe in their family would take on this role.
I know these circumstances can be very complicated. Somebody listening
right now who does not feel equipped for what God
(32:42):
is put in front of them.
S7 (32:44):
Yeah. None of us feel equipped. It's not a role
I think many of us would choose. And I think
it's a recognition that we were chosen for a reason
for this season, and along with an acceptance of that,
there's also an acceptance, I think, that we need to
(33:05):
allow people to help us. As caregivers, we are really
good at holding tightly to this martyr caregiver syndrome, where
nobody can do the job as well as we can
do it, and we are fine and everything's fine, and
we're just going to put our head down and we're
going to get it done. And we don't allow people
the blessing of being able to step in and help us.
(33:26):
And I know I'm guilty of that as well. Through
my many years of caregiving, people would ask, how can
I help you? And I'd say, we're fine, I'm fine,
and I wasn't. I was drowning, and I would just
really encourage any caregivers going through that to surround yourself
with people who can provide those breaks, because if you're
not taking care of yourself, you're no good to your
(33:48):
loved one. And so allow those people to step in
and provide those meals, provide those breaks so that you
can also take care of yourself during this very trying
and busy season.
S2 (33:58):
Now you are the founder and the executive director of
the Lucas Project, which is dedicated to serving parent caregivers.
You and your husband, your husband, Ryan, you have now
remarried and have a blended family with eight kids, a
busy household, I'm sure. Tell me a little bit about
your ministry.
S7 (34:17):
That was born out of that very intense period that
I was sharing about with Lucas going through puberty. My
current husband, Ryan, ended up in ER a couple of
times with panic attacks that resembled heart attacks because we
just never got a break and we were drowning. And,
you know, people were willing to step in and help
with Lucas when he was younger and, you know, cute. Um,
(34:38):
and people will help with a child in briefs when
they're 6 or 7, but when that child becomes 15, 16, 17,
nobody wants to step in and help with that anymore.
And so we just felt extremely isolated and overwhelmed. And
I thought, if we're struggling this much. Other parent caregivers
also must be struggling with a lack of having a break.
(34:59):
And so I just hopped on Google and googled how
to start a nonprofit and filled out the paperwork, sent
it in, and apparently a few weeks later, I was
a nonprofit founder. Um, we partnered with a local school district,
and we started to offer five hour chunks of time,
one Saturday a month, to the special needs families within
(35:20):
our community where they could drop off their child for
a safe, fun filled day. And they could go take
a break. They could go on a date, they could
take a nap, they could run errands, whatever they wanted
to do just to take a break from their caregiving duties.
And the ministry just grew to also include providing recognition,
resources and respite to these families. And now we offer
(35:42):
a multitude of different programs and services on our website.
S2 (35:46):
Now you've written this book, caregiving with grit and grace.
I'm sure much of both is needed. That is the
daily work of of caregiving. So much grace is needed.
How have you reframed the narrative? I know you talk
about that in this book. The narrative of how things
have played out with Lucas, as you have taken on
(36:08):
and embraced this as holy work.
S7 (36:10):
Yeah, for years I viewed Lucas as, you know, somebody
who needed to be fixed. If we could just find
the right therapy or the right nutrition or the right
service or support, then we could, you know, get him
to a typical, normal, you know, human being. And it's funny,
the Lord has used all these years of caring for
him to show me that Lucas is exactly the way
(36:31):
that God intended Lucas to be. Um, and his very
life just screams Glory to God through all of the
things that I've even been able to create as his mother,
because of my experiences of caring for him. And so
it's just been a beautiful process to understand that he
is loved and he is accepted, and he is perfect
(36:53):
just the way God made him. And just like we
will all receive our ultimate healing in heaven one day,
he also will receive that ultimate healing. But right now,
his whole life is just such a beautiful, humble. He's
the most humble individual you could imagine. He doesn't care
about any of the accolades or any of the things
that his life has even brought about, and it's just
(37:16):
an example to the rest of us, I believe.
S2 (37:18):
Jess, Ronnie, our guest right now, and I know her
words of understanding, of support, of encouragement are a balm
to so many of you listening who are in a
caregiving role. I want to point you to a keyword
where you can get more about the book, the resources.
There is a podcast as well. Text grit to 800
(37:38):
555 7898. Grit. Grit to 805 55 7898.
Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (00:08):
In your opinion, what's been the best super team in
sports history?
S3 (00:13):
Oh, good question.
S2 (00:14):
Best super team loaded with talent. I'm going 90s bulls.
I think you're gonna. You. Thank you. We are in Chicago,
so I gotta go. I got to go with the
the repeat the three peat. And I know there was
some personnel changes in there, but Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen.
(00:40):
Dennis rodman, Dennis Rodman for the I think he was
around for the the the later the later ones. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you say? Super teams.
S3 (00:49):
Any sport. As much as I hate to admit it
because I don't like the team, uh, the New England Patriots. Oh, yeah.
Six Super Bowl wins. Uh, under one quarterback is, uh,
something that's never happened before. No quarterback, I think, has
had over four other than Tom Brady, who's had seven.
He did one with another team. Uh, but it's uh,
(01:12):
I mean, it's an impressive feat.
S2 (01:14):
Yeah.
S3 (01:15):
I think he won his last one with him in 2018.
He was I think 40. He was 40 something, 42,
43 at that time. So that's pretty insane.
S2 (01:24):
That is it's impressive. What do you think? You listening?
I pick any sport. What's your favorite super team? This
was a team that had great success that was loaded
with talent, any sport, any era. Give me your favorite
super team 855 five, 7898. Text messages only for this
one 800 555 7898 we've got 1985 Chicago Bears says
(01:50):
1934 who's my other one? Yes. Is that the year
they won the Super Bowl, or was that 8485? Was
the year okay 90s Detroit Red wings. Oh, they were amazing. Yeah,
that was the era. Really? I don't.
S4 (02:06):
Know names. I'm sorry, but I remember the team. Yes, absolutely.
S2 (02:09):
Well, keep them coming. What do you say your favorite
super team? 805, 55, 78, 98.
S4 (02:15):
And I know going back to Chicago. I'm sorry, but
I bleed cubbie blue. I do. Okay. The 2016 the
World Series Cubbie team, they bought the World Series back
to Chicago.
S3 (02:27):
I thought we were doing dynasties. I'll take it. My favorite.
S4 (02:30):
Sports.
S3 (02:31):
Dynasties. Multiple years dies. Not a dynasty. A really good team.
S2 (02:35):
I mean, super team. As in, just, like, loaded with talent.
Usually that leads to at least some success. Okay, but
it doesn't have to be a dynasty. And that certainly
was a special group. They got it one year and.
S4 (02:46):
And the personalities on that team.
S3 (02:48):
Yeah, it was fun. It was a good year.
S4 (02:49):
Yeah.
S2 (02:50):
That 20 tens Blackhawks. Yep. Oh yeah. That was a
good year. The last women gymnastics team USA. I mean,
they said. And the one before. Well, any team that
Simone Biles has been on, that's pretty true. She is
her own super team. Yes. When you are, when your
(03:10):
skill level and athleticism and ability to perform those certain
feats are so far above everybody else doing the same thing,
I think you become a super team. Got another vote?
Vote for 90 Bulls. The 2018 Golden State Warriors. And
then they gave me a breakdown. Prime Steph Curry prime
Klay Thompson prime Kevin Durant.
S4 (03:32):
That's good.
S2 (03:33):
And others. But if you don't follow basketball that may
bore you. Let's see. Okay. Jesus and the disciples. Absolutely.
I'm with you on that. There you go. 1970 Brazil's
soccer team with Pele. Oh, yeah. The Cubs in 1969
and Cubs in 2016. 1969 Cubs.
S4 (03:52):
They were close. Yeah, they didn't bring it home, but yeah,
it was a good team.
S2 (03:56):
1980 US Olympic hockey team, the Cincinnati Reds. The big
red machine. Mia Hamm in that group in women's soccer.
I remember that. What was that? Was that was the Olympics.
Was that 2000? Oh, look that up for me right here.
Another vote for bears 85 the Edmonton Oilers, mid 1980s
(04:16):
early 90s.
S3 (04:18):
I don't know anything about the Edmonton Oilers.
S2 (04:19):
Got some real, real sports fans here. You got a
date on that women's soccer team?
S4 (04:23):
Yeah, it was a World Cup.
S2 (04:25):
It was me. I do remember.
S4 (04:27):
91 and 99 Olympics. Yeah, and then two gold Olympics.
I'm trying to get the year on that. But yeah
that's right.
S2 (04:34):
Dallas Cowboys with is it Staubach?
S4 (04:37):
Staubach.
S2 (04:38):
Staubach.
S3 (04:38):
Staubach.
S4 (04:39):
Roger.
S2 (04:39):
Was that the.
S3 (04:40):
Quarterback.
S2 (04:41):
I'm going to quickly I know a lot about basketball.
But the minute you get me into any other sport.
S4 (04:48):
Who's that.
S2 (04:50):
Side note I had to I had to do the score.
So the scores table at the.
S3 (04:55):
Oh, really?
S2 (04:56):
At my daughter's basketball game, which I've always avoided having
to do because I don't really like ever doing it.
And so I'm literally on the sidelines at the game
before on ChatGPT going, what do I need to know
to do the score book for my daughter's AAU basketball game?
And then it actually gave me a breakdown.
S4 (05:14):
Oh, did it.
S2 (05:15):
List the name and number of all of the girls?
And I had to track the fouls, and I had
to track the points, and I had to track the timeouts,
and ChatGPT got it done for me. I managed to
do it without any sort of mishaps. I felt proud
of myself.
S3 (05:30):
Nice job.
S2 (05:31):
Sports fans.
S4 (05:32):
Go, mom!
S3 (05:33):
She did.
S2 (05:33):
It. Thank you. To 3428 says Carl and crew. You got.
You're sweet.
S3 (05:39):
Wow.
S2 (05:39):
Super team.
S4 (05:41):
So nice. I know. Thank you.
S2 (05:43):
Coming up, as we look at the life of David.
Think about every super team you've ever heard of, and
I guarantee David had the exact opposite on his team.
He had to lead the group that nobody would have picked,
but yet he led them. Well, let's look at the
life of David coming up.
S1 (06:02):
He was running from God, but God's love brought him home.
Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on
Moody Radio.
S2 (06:12):
Well, David's team to me was a little like the
Little Rascals. You ever seen that movie?
S3 (06:18):
Yes. It's like.
S2 (06:20):
It's hilarious. It's Alfalfa and Spanky. Oh, yeah. And who
were the other ones?
S4 (06:26):
Darla.
S3 (06:27):
Buckwheat.
S4 (06:28):
Buckwheat.
S2 (06:28):
You know, and they were kind of like they gave
kind of the a little bit of the neighborhood outcasts
a little bit.
S3 (06:36):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (06:36):
Kind of a ragtag bunch. Sure. But they had great
adventures together. They did want you to listen to this
out of first Samuel 22, starting with verse one. This
is David fleeing from Saul. It says David departed from
there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when
his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they
went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress,
(07:00):
and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was
bitter in soul gathered to him, and he became commander
over them. And there were with him about 400 men.
I have always read that little passage and found it
fascinating that that's the detail that was included. This is
the list of David's men. This is the description of them.
(07:20):
It doesn't say every mighty warrior, every man trained for battle,
every man gifted and skilled. It says everyone who was
in distress, in debt and bitter in soul gathered to him,
and he became their leader. Paraphrase just.
S4 (07:36):
A bit.
S2 (07:38):
And for some reason I find that fascinating. One why
were those the people that were drawn to David? could.
You could speculate, I guess, that David was a man
on the run. So maybe the outcasts felt like a
connection to him.
S4 (07:54):
I could see that, definitely.
S3 (07:55):
Somebody who's like, well, that guy has nowhere to go.
He'll obviously he's on the run to probably some people
on the run a little bit from the King or
from other people saying, well, if he's on the run,
you know, he'll protect me if I come with him.
S2 (08:08):
It's joined forces with this guy. I'm in distress. I'm
in debt. I'm in. I'm bitter in soul. David, you're
my guy. And yet David was able to lead this
ragtag group to great victory. We read on. This is
now first Samuel 23, verse one, chapter one, chapter later.
(08:30):
Who knows? I don't know exactly how much time has passed,
but it is this same group of men. David inquired
of the Lord again, and the Lord answered him, arise,
go down to Keilah for I will give the Philistines.
Philistines into your hand. And David and his men went
to Keilah and fought with the Philistines, and brought away
their livestock, and struck them with a great blow. Victor,
(08:52):
that was a victory. Major military victory. David and his mighty.
S4 (08:58):
Little.
S2 (08:58):
Rascals. Mighty little rascal men. Verse 20. This is now
chapter 27. Very similarly, he goes up and he makes
raids against different inhabitants in the land, and they have
victory once again. Key thing here, though, David inquired of
the Lord. So one of the things I want to
(09:22):
kind of explore is this. My takeaway from this aspect
of David's leadership is that when the Lord is your leader,
you can lead anyone. Amen.
S4 (09:33):
That's. Yes.
S2 (09:34):
And so you think about how often you feel like
you don't have what you need to go into battle.
Whether it's the right people, the right skill set, the
right gifting. David certainly would have been disadvantaged with this group,
especially compared to Saul's army or the Philistines.
S4 (09:57):
Oh goodness.
S2 (09:57):
Right.
S3 (09:58):
I mean, significantly smaller, significantly.
S2 (10:01):
Remember, need I go back to first Samuel 22? Everyone
who was in distress, debt or bitter in soul flocked
to David.
S4 (10:10):
Sign me up.
S2 (10:11):
And became his army.
S4 (10:12):
Yeah.
S2 (10:13):
So I'm curious to know, have you ever felt kind
of undermanned for what you needed? This could have been
from a people standpoint, but anytime. Can you think about
a time you were in a position of leadership and
you felt like in the natural you did not have
what you needed, but you inquired of the Lord. We'd
love to hear from you this morning. Kind of a nuance,
(10:33):
but I want you to really think about this. The
times when you when you've been tasked to lead something
you didn't feel like you had what you need, but
you had God on your side. 800 555 7898. Let's
hear from you this morning. 800 555 78. 98.
S1 (10:50):
A basketball mom who's mastered the dad joke. Ali is
in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (10:59):
To be certain, some people have the spiritual gift of leadership.
S3 (11:05):
Sure.
S2 (11:07):
Definitively. We see that in Scripture, and you sometimes see
it in personality. I would say that my son, from
an early age, we could tell that he had a
natural inclination towards leadership.
S3 (11:19):
Yeah.
S2 (11:20):
And we would see this when he was young, really young.
It would come out in in funny ways because he
didn't really know what to do with that. So any,
any sort of mischief he would get into usually involved
his misuse of leadership. Classic example. I'll give you two.
One of the first times he got in not trouble,
(11:41):
but the teacher had to talk to me, kind of
just to help rein him in. He was in, I
think he was five and he was in a class
of kids, and the teacher pulled me aside afterwards. She said,
I had to tell your son today he's not allowed
to release kids to go to the bathroom. I know
that he feels like he's trying to help, but it's
(12:02):
best if I am in that role of teacher. I said, okay,
I can definitely tell him that he can't give permission. Why?
They listen to him, I don't know, but he would
give kids permission and release them from the class. And
apparently they felt like that was authority enough. Another time
he got a class job. You remember the class jobs?
S3 (12:21):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (12:22):
Absolutely. And so he was the bathroom line leader. And
you would have thought he was president of the United States.
S3 (12:29):
Because he took it that seriously.
S2 (12:30):
He took it so seriously. And so apparently this time
he was maybe overstepping or not doing a great job
in his leadership gifting because he came home in absolute distress.
S4 (12:42):
He said, this.
S2 (12:43):
Is first grade. My teacher said if I get one
more complaint, I'm fired from my job.
S4 (12:50):
Oh. Poor baby. Oh.
S2 (12:52):
I'm going. Okay.
S3 (12:54):
He took it like he's getting a paycheck that the
whole family's retired.
S2 (12:58):
If I.
S5 (12:58):
Get one more complaint.
S2 (13:00):
I'm like, what kind of complaints are kids filing about
the bathroom line leader? I don't know if he was
letting the line move too slow.
S4 (13:08):
They weren't in line again.
S2 (13:10):
Releasing kids too quickly into the bathroom or too slowly.
So his leadership inclination has been evident from a young age,
and we just have to try to rein him in
and help him be in the constraints of what's appropriate,
given his age and his level of authority. But what
we take from David's passage of Scripture is in the
first and second Samuel is that it wasn't necessarily his
(13:33):
natural inclination toward leadership. I think you could definitely make
a case for the fact that David was a strong leader,
even as a young man. I would say so. Goliath?
S3 (13:42):
Yeah. No doubt.
S2 (13:43):
But I love that the detail that's often included is
that David inquired of the Lord. David really sought to know,
what is God leading me to do here? And then
he would lead his men accordingly. So it wasn't this
sort of just fly by night. What do I feel
like should be done here? Which is, I think actually
(14:04):
it takes some of the pressure off when you think
about leadership, especially if you don't feel particularly inclined toward it,
that if you are someone who's willing to seek God,
you can be an effective leader of people.
S3 (14:19):
Yeah, sometimes. So this is something that that has been
said when I've been called on to preach, because I'm
not a a preach every Sunday kind of person, but
I've done it before. And and going up on stage
is not something that I always feel confident in. I
often feel very nervous about it. I'd rather I'd rather not,
(14:40):
you know, sometimes. But, uh, I've had people say to me, well,
that's a good indication that you're in the right spot
is because God's given you a gift and you're humble
enough to recognize you don't have it all. If you're
in a spot of I got this, I ain't got
no problem, then that's usually where you get yourself into
the most trouble, because you don't think to inquire of
the Lord, because you think that you're hot enough, stuff
(15:03):
that you don't have to.
S2 (15:05):
And you think about and not to take a weird,
you know, kind of a morbid turn here, but you
think about the people in history who have led a
lot of people astray. Oh, yeah. Down really bad paths. Yes.
And a big part of it was that there was
a natural leadership inclination, the ability to kind of corral people,
(15:27):
to get people to move in one direction. But boy,
if you're not following God, yeah, you can lead a
lot of people astray.
S3 (15:35):
Absolutely. I think of, I think of when Moses was
on the mountain talking to God, and the people of
Israel were sitting there and they're like, no, no one's
here for us. What are we going to do? Aaron
was was like Moses's speaker. So Moses was the leader.
But Aaron was a good leader, too, because he spoke.
And so the people looked up to him and they're
starting to call on him like, we gotta do something.
(15:56):
Moses isn't coming down. What are we going to do?
S5 (15:58):
Yes.
S3 (15:59):
And Aaron, a good leader who did not inquire of God, says, well,
let's build this idol, you know, let's give us a
picture of something we can worship. And and it it
almost wrecked them as a people because a good leader
didn't think to inquire of the Lord and made decisions
that led the people astray.
S2 (16:18):
And that's a great that's very similar. And I'm glad
you brought that one up. And I think I think
it's this is this is the thing I want all
of us to remember is that whether you're leading a
few or many, whether you're leading in your home or
your workplace or a small group or whatever that looks like.
We don't want to rely on natural gifting, whether we
feel like we have it or we don't.
S3 (16:40):
Absolutely.
S2 (16:41):
The key thing is that David inquired of the Lord,
and when he sought the Lord, he became an effective
leader for his ragtag group who was looking to him.
You have an example of this a time when you
were tasked to lead and you know you don't. You
didn't have what it takes, but you inquired of the Lord.
(17:01):
You sought the Lord, the favor, the direction, the wisdom
of the Lord and were able to lead effectively. Tell
me about it. 800 555 7898.
S1 (17:12):
She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her.
Super dei is in the crew. It's Colin Crew on
Moody Radio.
S2 (17:22):
You know, sometimes people can really nourish us with their words.
Have you ever had somebody give you a compliment that
just really blessed you?
S3 (17:33):
Yes, absolutely.
S2 (17:34):
What comes to mind?
S3 (17:35):
I a couple days ago, I was walking around here
and one of our, one of our bosses looked at
me and he said, have you lost any weight? And
I said, I don't think so. And I said, But
I'm never I'm never wearing anything different from the clothes
I'm currently wearing. Thank you so much for saying that.
S5 (17:53):
That's so good.
S3 (17:54):
And that was really nice.
S5 (17:56):
That's so good. That's hilarious.
S2 (17:59):
When's the last time someone gave you a compliment? In
recent memory that that you felt really good about.
S4 (18:08):
I'm trying to think. I feel so bad. I don't know.
Nothing's jumping to mind. I'm so sorry.
S5 (18:16):
No. That's okay.
S4 (18:16):
How about.
S5 (18:17):
You? You know, I this.
S2 (18:18):
Is top of mind because someone complimented me yesterday, and
it really. It really made my day. We, um. It
was a professor here at Moody who you're going to
hear from this week. And after the interview, he said,
you know, you've really grown in your command of Scripture
(18:40):
since you first started interviewing, because I've been interviewing him
now for seven and a half years that I've been
at probably, I would say half a dozen to a
dozen times over, at least.
S3 (18:53):
At least. Absolutely.
S2 (18:55):
And I said it really took my breath away. And
and I told him, you know, I said, I've never
I never went to Bible college. I don't have a
Bible school education. I wasn't even really a faithful Bible
reader to my to my shame. Even growing up, even
though I called myself a Christian, I didn't open the
Bible very, very frequently. And so I said, I feel
(19:16):
like kind of as an adult, I've sort of had
to play catch up, trying to kind of. And so
that compliment the recognition of growth was meant so much
to me.
S3 (19:30):
That's awesome. I mean, what a cool thing and what
I mean, what a compliment to it.
S2 (19:33):
So like, there's so much more I want to like.
I mean, I still feel like such a novice in
terms of trying to understand scripture and trying to make
sense of it and, and then trying to at times
like teach.
S3 (19:46):
It's not easy.
S2 (19:47):
It's not easy. And so it was such a it
was such a kind thing for him to say.
S4 (19:51):
And it's, it's not so much just the compliment but
also the source of that compliment.
S2 (19:56):
I mean.
S4 (19:57):
I mean, hands down, you know. Wow.
S2 (20:00):
Humbling. Because this is a man who I mean, talk
about someone who has command of the Word of God,
no doubt. But I'm curious to know what's the what's
the last time or someone gave you a compliment that
really meant something to you, and especially if it was
something beyond like the the superficial because yeah, it's it's
great if someone says, hey, I love that new haircut
or have you been working out? Or, you know, having
(20:23):
being complimented on your physical appearance is nice, but when's
the last time someone gave you a compliment that went
a little deeper and really, really encouraged you? Uh, let's
get text messages on this one last compliment that really,
really encouraged you. 805 55 7898 805 55 7898. Maybe
(20:43):
you can compliment someone else today. Look for the good
that you can see in people and call it out.
S1 (20:50):
He was sharing the gospel on the radio and then
he got saved. Young thunders in the crew. It's Carl
and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (21:00):
Loving seeing these compliments. I asked you this question. What's
the last compliment you received that really, really encouraged you?
This one came in from someone who said, I got
married too late and I wasn't able to have children.
This past Sunday, which was Mother's Day at church, my
best friend and her husband thanked me for helping raise
their sons.
S3 (21:20):
What a cool.
S4 (21:21):
Thing. That was beautiful.
S3 (21:23):
I love that, and I love that she took on
the the responsibility of saying, well, you know what? Not
the responsibility. But that's the wrong word. But just saying, like,
you know what, I can't have kids, but I'm going
to invest into into other people's lives and be a
figure that's a, you know, that can help them. And
she took that on and it was seen and appreciated.
S4 (21:41):
I love that. Yeah.
S2 (21:42):
That's awesome. 6476 as my wife told me, I'm the
father her kids never had.
S3 (21:47):
Wow.
S2 (21:49):
Wow.
S3 (21:50):
That's amazing.
S2 (21:51):
Wow. Awesome. One Sunday at church. On Sunday at church,
one of the young adult leaders was talking about the
fruit of the spirit and said that I represent joy.
I was in complete shock considering I battle with mental
health and many days are challenging. So someone telling you
that you exude joy, even though often you feel like
it's a struggle. Oh boy. My my adult son said
(22:14):
that I was the best and most beautiful mom ever.
S4 (22:17):
Oh, melt my heart. Hayley and I are like, yes! Oh, man.
S2 (22:23):
You can keep them coming. The text message. Text messages
on this one. The compliment that you received recently that really,
really encouraged you.
S1 (22:33):
This is Curl and Crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (22:38):
As we look at the life of David, these different, uh,
different takeaways today, we've been talking about the leadership of David.
And as I've been just reading through in my own
personal devotion time, I've been in first and second Samuel
and kind of looking at David's life for a little bit,
the leadership aspect struck me, um, he had to take
courageous stands, sometimes even going against what his men were
(23:00):
telling him to do, go ahead and and kill Saul.
The Lord's giving you, giving you him. He's right there
in front of you. And it sounded like good advice,
but David knew better Because David walked closely with the Lord.
And so I'm asking you. I've been asking you. What's
the time you had to take a stand? Maybe even that,
(23:21):
when it went against conventional wisdom or what other people
were even telling you to do because you knew you'd
heard from the Lord? 805 55 7898 let's go to
Donna calling in this morning from Illinois. Tell me, Donna,
have you experienced this in your own life?
S6 (23:38):
I did. I took care of my mom for ten years.
And when my mom died, I was the executor of
her will because I didn't understand wills that much. I
went to a lawyer so he could read it and
help me. And in my mom's will, it said the money,
which was not a lot, should be divided between my
(24:00):
two sisters and myself. And the lawyer said to me, well,
because you didn't take any money for taking care of
your mom for ten years, you should take all the
money that's left. And I said, well, that's not what
my mom's will says. So I'm going to fulfill my
mom's will because the Lord really nudged me, that I
(24:23):
should do exactly what was right and fulfill her will.
S2 (24:27):
Oh, Donna.
S4 (24:27):
I love that.
S6 (24:29):
And not the lawyer.
S2 (24:30):
Yeah, and you know what? It could have been tempting,
because if you felt like, you know, there's a little
bit of an imbalance here where I don't feel like
I know as much about Wills. And this lawyer, who knows,
maybe more than me in this area, is advising me this.
It would have been maybe tempting to take that advice,
but you said the Lord nudged you toward honoring your
mom's wishes.
S6 (24:50):
Yes, definitely. Definitely.
S2 (24:53):
Donna from Illinois. Sweet story. You know, that's when you
know you're getting counsel that's motivated by worldly gains.
S3 (25:03):
Oh, yeah.
S2 (25:03):
That's another one that that should send up that red flag, right?
S3 (25:07):
No doubt. No doubt about.
S2 (25:08):
That. This is the obvious move because this will benefit
you the most. Yeah, sometimes it goes that way, but
a lot of times it's like, ah, no. Like the
obvious way isn't always, or even often God's way. Coming up,
we have a real treat for you. You're going to
hear an encouragement for caregivers. We just mentioned Donna, a
(25:32):
caretaker for her mom for ten years. So many of
you find yourself in that role caregiving, caretaking, caring for
a loved one. Long days. Sometimes thankless hours. Thankless tasks.
But God has given you strength to persevere. You'll hear
a story coming up.
S1 (25:49):
Your shot of hope to help you through the day.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2 (25:56):
Well, some of the most holy, sacred work happens in
the unseen spaces. It's not broadcast. It's not up on
a stage. There's not cameras following Caregivers. So many people
find themselves in that role, whether it's for an aging parent,
whether it's for a child. Truly, people of all ages
(26:17):
could find themselves on either the receiving or the giving
end of a caregiver relationship. It's an important one that
isn't talked about enough. Special guest wants to change that.
She's a caregiver advocate. Jess. Ronnie. Tell me a little
bit about your journey as a caregiver. You have spent
much of your life in this role.
S7 (26:39):
Yes, I have. My story really began in 2004, when
I went to what I thought would be a routine
ultrasound appointment for my second child, and it was there
that we were told he had experienced a stroke in utero,
and there was very little hope. It was suggested that
we terminate and try again. My husband and I did
not go that route. Instead, we decided to put the
(27:00):
baby in the Lord's hands and Lucas came screaming with
life on August 12th, 12, 2004, and after undergoing brain
surgery and spending two weeks in the NICU, we were
sent home with our miracle baby with just an umbrella
diagnosis of special needs. And so we went home and
just settled into life. It was very challenging. He was
(27:22):
delayed in every aspect of life and he hardly ever slept.
And we ended up having our daughter a couple of
years later in 2007. And that's when my journey shifted
once again. My husband, Jason started having all of these
unexplainable health problems massive weight loss, disorientation, vision loss, and
(27:43):
he passed out at home one night, was rushed to
the local ER, and it was discovered that he had
a baseball sized brain tumor. He would go on to
fight brain cancer for three years. We had another baby
in the middle of that journey and he ultimately passed away.
August 24th, 2010.
S2 (27:58):
Wow, Jess, you know, you've I'm sure you've now had
to tell that abbreviated form of your story many, many times.
But so much pain and anguish in those years. How
did you navigate the complicated emotions of trying to, you know,
rejoicing in the new life of these babies that God
(28:20):
had given you as you're grieving the illness and ultimately
the death of a husband while still trying to care
for a child with special needs. I mean, take us
to those years. How did you manage? How did God
bring you through that season?
S7 (28:37):
You know, I reacted very differently with each of those
two different scenarios. I really leaned into the Shepherd's care
when I was pregnant with Lucas, and really relied on
his strength and surrendered immediately to his grace and his mercy,
and to this knowledge that his will would be done
(29:01):
either healing Lucas, or providing me with what I needed
to be a mom to Lucas, or providing healing to
Lucas in heaven. And so I experienced that peace that
passes understanding during that pregnancy. My reaction was very different
with Jason's illness and battle with cancer, I. I really
(29:22):
felt like life was unfair at that point. Here I
had four children under six years old, one with profound disabilities,
and a husband who was fighting brain cancer for three years.
And I was really angry. I wrestled with the Lord,
I wailed, I lamented, and ultimately, about two weeks before
Jason passed away, I dropped to my knees in surrender
(29:44):
and said, Lord, I don't know why you've called me
to such a difficult path, but I will obey. And
in this moment I choose to have faith that you
know what you're doing. And in that moment of surrender,
I was able to usher Jason into eternity over the
next two weeks with that piece that had been lacking
(30:06):
for so many years.
S2 (30:08):
Wow. Now, so much of the the journey as a caregiver, um,
you hear about the kind of the bitterness and the
and the resentment that can develop not at the person
who's receiving the care, but just kind of at the
circumstances that you mentioned, that feeling of this isn't fair.
I'm sure so many people who have been in a
(30:29):
caregiver role have wrestled with those emotions. Why? This is
just not how I pictured life going. What do you
tell people having faced those same feelings yourself?
S7 (30:40):
The biggest game changer for me honestly arrived when Lucas
started to go through puberty. Uh, like I mentioned, Lucas
is profoundly disabled and needs assistance in every aspect of life.
He's incontinent, he needs assistance in feeding, he's non-verbal. And
as he started to go through puberty, he became very
aggressive towards his siblings, towards me, towards himself. We had
(31:04):
a lot of behavioural challenges and one day I had
a book deadline and I was starting a nonprofit and
I had really important things that I was trying to
work on. And Lucas was home sick from school, and
all Lucas did all day long was scream, and I
was getting very annoyed and irritated that my important things
(31:24):
couldn't get accomplished because I continued to have to care
for Lucas and his needs. At 15 years old. And
as I was rushing around with this resentment, the Holy
Spirit whispered, this is holy work, Jess. This is the
holiest work you can do. This side of eternity is
caring for someone who cannot care for themselves. And in fact,
in doing this work, you are becoming more Christ like.
(31:48):
And it was such an aha moment for me that
I had been in this caregiver role for 15 years
and had always kind of felt annoyed and irritated, but
in completely shifting my perspective to see it as holy
work and the work that was making me more like
my Savior. Just completely changed everything for me. So much
so that I had a sign created that said, this
(32:10):
is holy work, and I hung it above Lucas's bed
as just a constant, tangible reminder to myself that this
was the most important work that I could be doing.
S2 (32:20):
What guidance would you give someone, Jess, who just does
not feel equipped for the role of caregiver? Maybe they're
they've entered into it unexpectedly or reluctantly, or wishing somebody
else maybe in their family would take on this role.
I know these circumstances can be very complicated. Somebody listening
right now who does not feel equipped for what God
(32:42):
is put in front of them.
S7 (32:44):
Yeah. None of us feel equipped. It's not a role
I think many of us would choose. And I think
it's a recognition that we were chosen for a reason
for this season, and along with an acceptance of that,
there's also an acceptance, I think, that we need to
(33:05):
allow people to help us. As caregivers, we are really
good at holding tightly to this martyr caregiver syndrome, where
nobody can do the job as well as we can
do it, and we are fine and everything's fine, and
we're just going to put our head down and we're
going to get it done. And we don't allow people
the blessing of being able to step in and help us.
(33:26):
And I know I'm guilty of that as well. Through
my many years of caregiving, people would ask, how can
I help you? And I'd say, we're fine, I'm fine,
and I wasn't. I was drowning, and I would just
really encourage any caregivers going through that to surround yourself
with people who can provide those breaks, because if you're
not taking care of yourself, you're no good to your
(33:48):
loved one. And so allow those people to step in
and provide those meals, provide those breaks so that you
can also take care of yourself during this very trying
and busy season.
S2 (33:58):
Now you are the founder and the executive director of
the Lucas Project, which is dedicated to serving parent caregivers.
You and your husband, your husband, Ryan, you have now
remarried and have a blended family with eight kids, a
busy household, I'm sure. Tell me a little bit about
your ministry.
S7 (34:17):
That was born out of that very intense period that
I was sharing about with Lucas going through puberty. My
current husband, Ryan, ended up in ER a couple of
times with panic attacks that resembled heart attacks because we
just never got a break and we were drowning. And,
you know, people were willing to step in and help
with Lucas when he was younger and, you know, cute. Um,
(34:38):
and people will help with a child in briefs when
they're 6 or 7, but when that child becomes 15, 16, 17,
nobody wants to step in and help with that anymore.
And so we just felt extremely isolated and overwhelmed. And
I thought, if we're struggling this much. Other parent caregivers
also must be struggling with a lack of having a break.
(34:59):
And so I just hopped on Google and googled how
to start a nonprofit and filled out the paperwork, sent
it in, and apparently a few weeks later, I was
a nonprofit founder. Um, we partnered with a local school district,
and we started to offer five hour chunks of time,
one Saturday a month, to the special needs families within
(35:20):
our community where they could drop off their child for
a safe, fun filled day. And they could go take
a break. They could go on a date, they could
take a nap, they could run errands, whatever they wanted
to do just to take a break from their caregiving duties.
And the ministry just grew to also include providing recognition,
resources and respite to these families. And now we offer
(35:42):
a multitude of different programs and services on our website.
S2 (35:46):
Now you've written this book, caregiving with grit and grace.
I'm sure much of both is needed. That is the
daily work of of caregiving. So much grace is needed.
How have you reframed the narrative? I know you talk
about that in this book. The narrative of how things
have played out with Lucas, as you have taken on
(36:08):
and embraced this as holy work.
S7 (36:10):
Yeah, for years I viewed Lucas as, you know, somebody
who needed to be fixed. If we could just find
the right therapy or the right nutrition or the right
service or support, then we could, you know, get him
to a typical, normal, you know, human being. And it's funny,
the Lord has used all these years of caring for
him to show me that Lucas is exactly the way
(36:31):
that God intended Lucas to be. Um, and his very
life just screams Glory to God through all of the
things that I've even been able to create as his mother,
because of my experiences of caring for him. And so
it's just been a beautiful process to understand that he
is loved and he is accepted, and he is perfect
(36:53):
just the way God made him. And just like we
will all receive our ultimate healing in heaven one day,
he also will receive that ultimate healing. But right now,
his whole life is just such a beautiful, humble. He's
the most humble individual you could imagine. He doesn't care
about any of the accolades or any of the things
that his life has even brought about, and it's just
(37:16):
an example to the rest of us, I believe.
S2 (37:18):
Jess, Ronnie, our guest right now, and I know her
words of understanding, of support, of encouragement are a balm
to so many of you listening who are in a
caregiving role. I want to point you to a keyword
where you can get more about the book, the resources.
There is a podcast as well. Text grit to 800
(37:38):
555 7898. Grit. Grit to 805 55 7898.
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