Supporting Cancer Patients and How to Disconnect Your Kids From the Screen

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off the week with discussions about a cancer patient ministry with Phil Zielke and how to make the most of a screen-free summer with your kids, with Arlene Pellicane. First, Phil Zielke joined us to share his testimony of how he drew near to God when he was diagnosed with Stage 4B Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and then how God placed it on his heart to start a ministry that serves cancer patients. Phil’s Friends is a ministry that provides Christ-centered support and hope to those affected by cancer. Then we had Arlene Pellicane join us to talk about the importance of parents connecting with their children by limiting their screen time. Arlene is a speaker, author, and host of the Happy Home podcast. She is also a marriage and parenting expert. Arlene has also authored several books, including “Screen Kids.” We then discussed our need for God’s grace. We were born into sin, so it is in our nature to be sinful, but when we are born again through Christ, we are renewed by God’s grace. Romans 7:18-25 affirms this, as Paul tells us that sin dwells within us and affects how we move and think without God. Only God can deliver us from sin through Jesus Christ. We also heard updates from Karl, who was broadcasting remotely from the Maranatha Bible Missionary Conference, Vacation and Retreat Center. Dr. Josh Stephens joined Karl to discuss the sovereignty and providence of God as shown throughout the book of Ruth. Dr. Stephens is the Lead Pastor of Cape Bible Church in Missouri and is also the founder and executive director of the Biblical Counseling Alliance. You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.

If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: 

Gospel (Need for God) [ 05:55-17:30 ]

Phil Zielke Interview (Phil's Friends Ministry) [ 44:25-55:18 ]

Arlene Pellicane Interview  [ 55:28-01:06:34 ]

Dr. Josh Stephens (Book of Ruth breakdown) [ 30:50-43:50 ]

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Episode Transcript

S1 (00:00):
Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (00:08):
Carl and crew helping you take your next step with Jesus.
What a joy to be with you this morning on
this beautiful Tuesday morning. Wherever you are, I hope you're
getting off to a phenomenal start. Well, we have got
something going on here, right, team?

S3 (00:21):
What do we have going on?

S4 (00:25):
It's exciting. What?

S2 (00:26):
She's all chill.

S3 (00:30):
What's happening?

S4 (00:31):
What do we have going on?

S2 (00:34):
That's hilarious. Ali. Uh, I am not in studio today,
but I am in a remote studio. Chris Segard is
along for the ride with me up here. We are
at camp maranatha in Michigan, right on Lake Michigan, and
it has been already a phenomenal week. I'm speaking up
here in the evenings and it makes for a good

(00:57):
full day. That's what I'm learning.

S4 (00:59):
It makes for a good.

S2 (01:01):
Filled up day. And we're giving glory to God here.

S4 (01:04):
That's awesome. Uh, is this a what kind of, uh,
is this a camp or. I didn't even get to
ask you.

S2 (01:09):
Yeah. Camp maranatha is a amazing camp here on Lake Michigan.
And I mean amazing and filled with some of the
most incredible saints. The history here, I think it's 90
plus years they've been doing ministry here. So you name it,
they've been here including Billy Graham and the whole enchilada.

S4 (01:29):
That's beautiful up there.

S2 (01:31):
Yeah, it's something else. And I've been a little too
busy to go walk on the dunes yet, but I'm
going to do that before it's done. But it's been
it's been an awesome time, guys. And we're watching God
do some amazing things. I night one Sunday night I
was up here teaching and Sunday morning. And then Sunday
night I'm forgetting what I did here.

S4 (01:52):
Ali um, I get that.

S2 (01:55):
Sunday, Sunday morning we had close to 40 people surrendered
their lives to Christ.

S4 (02:00):
Here. Wow.

S2 (02:01):
Yeah. And what we were doing was dispelling the myth
that we like to do here on Carl and crew.
And the great myth, the great deception is people live
in a Christian culture and they don't know how how
easy it is to adopt a language, a culture, a
cultural vibe, and yet not be surrendered, surrendered to Christ.

(02:23):
And I was able to talk with several of the
people that gave their life to Christ, and it was
one of the most amazing things. And for many of
you who are listening, you're you're one of those. You've
you are newly born again. And I want to speak
to you for just a moment, because the battle when
we are born again is huge. There are going to

(02:45):
be words that are spoken in our heads. What are
some of those words that are going to rattle around
in our head when someone's newly born again?

S4 (02:52):
Oh, I mean, you can easily feel like, was this
even real? Uh, you know, I'm you have that maybe
initial joy, but then you feel maybe a sense of, okay,
what next? Right. Where do I go from here? Will
this work? Like I've tried to change before. Maybe this
is sort of a short term kind of thing.

S2 (03:12):
Yeah. Yeah, but the power of the Spirit of God
is indwelling you. And he who began a good work
in you will carry it on to completion until the
day of Christ Jesus. We can be confident of that.
So we are, uh. I mean, let me give you
the whole enchilada. I got Chris Siegert up here and
he's on a little Mattel squawk box, but I'm going
to bring him in. Yeah Chris is here with me.

(03:34):
How about the audio in that little thing. We we
are we are set up in a hotel room and, and, uh,
and we had to turn off the AC unit. Otherwise
you're going to hear a jet engine blowing through the
microphone here. But we're set up and ready to rumble.
We've got a phenomenal morning plan for you. We really
do boom crew and excited about this. Let me forecast

(03:56):
here for today. We got Arlene Pelican coming in today.
And we can't wait to get Arlene in here. We
got Phil Zylka who's going to talk about what it
is to be a friend to people in need, especially
those that are battling cancer or recovering from it. Amazing
stuff's going on and we're going to come out of
the shoot hot. I have with me a little bit
later on here, just a few minutes from now. Josh Stevens.

(04:21):
He is the Co-speaker. He's speaking in the mornings here
at Camp Maranatha. I'm speaking in the evenings, and he
is a lead pastor from Missouri, Missouri. I got that right. Right, guys,
you got to say it right. You can't say Missouri. Uh,
that's what you say in school in Alaska. But when
you get down into the lower 48, you find out

(04:41):
if you don't say it right. I mean, Louisville, Louisville.
You can't say Louisville. Louisville.

S4 (04:48):
Oh, no.

S2 (04:49):
No. And you can't say Missouri. It's Missouri, Missouri. Zura
and he's going to be in here with me. Josh Stevens,
an amazing Bible teacher. Ali, you would love this guy.
Super guy. You would too. Um, and it's just it's
going to be great. Okay. Coming up here, coming up
here in just a couple of minutes. I want to
break down something for you. You're looking at your need

(05:13):
for God, and sometimes you wish that need for God.
That urgent need. What can God do with that? I mean,
it's sometimes so overwhelming. It's like, God, could you take
my this this white knuckled need from you away? I
want to give you two evidences that your need for

(05:34):
God this morning is a great gift from God. This
is called all joy and that is what we want
to offer you up today. Good morning. Boom crew.

S1 (05:46):
She was trying to earn her way to God. But
God showed her she didn't have to. Ali is in
the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (05:56):
We are spread across the country here, but we can
see each other. I'm staring at them right now. Or
at least super die. And we're trying to get Allie
up and going in the visuals here, but we are
in a remote broadcast. I am broadcasting from camp maranatha
just outside of Grand Rapids, right on Lake Michigan, and
we're watching God do some amazing things, and he wants

(06:17):
to do that in you today. You know, awareness of
your need for God is a great gift from God.
We don't always see it that way, do we, Ali?

S4 (06:27):
No, because it usually means when you are most aware
of your need for God, it's usually where something that
you've been relying on is coming up short. And so
whether it's you feel like you're out of strength and
all of a sudden you're more aware of your need
for God, you lack wisdom, and all of a sudden
you're aware of your need for God. We get up
against it, and that's when oftentimes we most See how

(06:52):
much we need God, even though we always do, even
on our best days.

S2 (06:55):
Yeah. It's true. And, you know, it's it's interesting because
there's a couple of things that give us need. One
is external pressures. This is why James says so beautifully,
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials
of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work

(07:21):
so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.
So there's more than just a silver lining. There's a
great hope when we're going through trials, that this is
going to flex us and grow us into the person
that we couldn't be without it. So as you're facing
a trial today, this will give you some good biblical
reorientation and go, okay, I'm going through a tough patch

(07:44):
right now. This is hard, but I am going to
consider it joy. Not because of this trial is joyful,
but because of what it's going to do in me
and it's it's not a consolation prize. It's actually a
real prize. We got to hold on to that. And
if you're lacking wisdom today for that trial, just go
right on into verse five. If any of you lacks wisdom,

(08:07):
let him ask God. And the the book of James
indicates that God will lavish his wisdom on you through
this trial. And the only caveat is that he has
is don't be double minded or double souled. Get everything
you are into one camp with God and just say, God,
I'm putting my faith in you today. Help me get

(08:29):
through this thing. And and he will, guys. Uh, the
apostle Paul, though, talks about another need for God. And
this passage of Scripture has been debated big time. And
it's so good. In verse 18 of Romans seven, Paul says,
for I know that nothing good dwells in me. That is,

(08:50):
in my flesh. That's good theology, by the way. Very
much so. Just anchor right there. So in Ali, in
super Dei, in myself. In Chris. Who's here with me
remote in Michigan right now. There is nothing good in
us that is the flesh. And the reason you put
a caveat on that is because I believe this text

(09:11):
is indicating he's born again, but battling with some stuff.
And then he goes on to say, for I have
the desire to do what is right, but not the
ability to carry it out. Now that's in the flesh.
And then he goes on to wrestle with this, and
it's a classic text. He said, man, that which I
want to do, I don't do and that which I do,
I don't want to do. What is going on here?

(09:34):
And then he has these classic words in verse 24,
wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from
this body of death? And then he says this. Thanks
be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. And then
it goes leaps right into chapter eight. There is therefore

(09:57):
now no condemnation in that whole beautiful chapter. Here's the issue.
Sometimes we have need because we have trials on the
outside pressing in. But oftentimes we have need because we
are struggling with sin. Sin just simply means missing the mark.

(10:19):
It's from the Greek word hamartia, and it's the distance
between the bull's eye and wherever the arrow or the
spear would land if they were gaming with kind of
that kind of archery target in mind, or that kind
of spear target in mind, and the distance between the
bull's eye and where our life lands is the sin.

(10:41):
Now God's wanting to close the gap by the power
of God. So you might have gotten up this morning.
Hopefully you did, and you're aware of something in your
life that needs to change. We never run out of them.
Last time I checked, Ali or you, you got a
pretty buttoned down now.

S4 (10:56):
Yeah. No.

S2 (10:59):
It's a funny thing. I just want I think we
want the today to be a day. And this whole week,
a day, a week of encouragement where you sense God
calling you deeper still, into a closer walk with him,
dealing with issues not only of trials and challenges that

(11:19):
are coming your way, but the sin that maybe is
lurking in your life. And it can be something that's
been there a long time. I don't want you to
give up on God or yourself today. I want you
to know God wants to give you a victory. How
we're going to break it down. Coming up.

S1 (11:37):
He was running from God, but God's love brought him home.
Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on
Moody Radio.

S2 (11:47):
We are spread across the country here, but we can
see each other. I'm staring at them right now, or
at least super die, and we're trying to get Allie
up and going in the visuals here, but we are
in a remote broadcast. I am broadcasting from camp maranatha
just outside of Grand Rapids, right on Lake Michigan, and
we're watching God do some amazing things, and he wants

(12:08):
to do that in you today. You know, awareness of
your need for God is a great gift from God.
We don't always see it that way, do we, Ali?

S4 (12:18):
No, because it usually means when you are most aware
of your need for God, it's usually where something that
you've been relying on is coming up short. And so
whether it's you feel like you're out of strength and
all of a sudden you're more aware of your need
for God, you lack wisdom, and all of a sudden
you're aware of your need for God. We get up
against it, and that's when oftentimes we most see how

(12:43):
much we need God, even though we always do. Even
on our best days.

S2 (12:46):
Yeah. It's true. And, you know, it's it's interesting because
there's a couple of things that give us need. One
is external pressures. This is why James says so beautifully,
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials
of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith develops, perseverance and perseverance must finish its work

(13:12):
so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.
So there's more than just a silver lining. There's a
great hope when we're going through trials, that this is
going to flex us and grow us into the person
that we couldn't be without it. So as you're facing
a trial today, this will give you some good biblical
reorientation and go, okay, I'm going through a rough patch

(13:35):
right now. This is hard, but I am going to
consider it joy. Not because of this trial is joyful,
but because of what it's going to do in me.
And it's it's not a consolation prize. It's actually a
real prize. We got to hold on to that. And
if you're lacking wisdom today for that trial, just go
right on into verse five. If any of you lacks wisdom,

(13:58):
let him ask God. And the the book of James
indicates that God will lavish his wisdom on you through
this trial. And the only caveat is that he has
is don't be double minded or double souled. Get everything
you are into one camp with God and just say, God,
I'm putting my faith in you today. Help me get

(14:20):
through this thing. And and he will, guys. Uh, the
apostle Paul, though, talks about another need for God. And
this passage of Scripture has been debated big time. And
it's so good. In verse 18 of Romans seven, Paul says,
for I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is,

(14:41):
in my flesh. That's good theology, by the way. Very
much so. Just anchor right there. So in Ali, in
super Dei, in myself. In Chris. Who's here with me
remote in Michigan right now. There is nothing good in
us that is the flesh. And the reason you put
a caveat on that is because I believe this text

(15:02):
is indicating he's born again, but battling with some stuff.
And then he goes on to say, for I have
the desire to do what is right, but not the
ability to carry it out. Now that's in the flesh.
And then he goes on to wrestle with this, and
it's a classic text. He said, man, that which I
want to do, I don't do and that which I do,
I don't want to do. What is going on here?

(15:25):
And then he has these classic words in verse 24,
wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from
this body of death? And then he says this. Thanks
be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. And then
it goes leaps right into chapter eight. There is therefore

(15:48):
now no condemnation in that whole beautiful chapter. Here's the issue.
Sometimes we have need because we have trials on the
outside pressing in. But oftentimes we have need because we
are struggling with sin. Sin just simply means missing the mark.

(16:10):
It's from the Greek word hamartia, and it's the distance
between the bull's eye and wherever the arrow or the
spear would land if they were gaming with kind of
that kind of archery target in mind, or that kind
of spear target in mind, and the distance between the
bull's eye and where our life lands is the sin.

(16:32):
Now God's wanting to close the gap by the power
of God. So you might have gotten up this morning.
Hopefully you did. And you're aware of something in your
life that needs to change. We never run out of them.
Last time I checked, Ali or you, you got it
pretty buttoned down now.

S4 (16:47):
Yeah. Um, no.

S2 (16:50):
It's a funny thing. I just want. I think we
want today to be a day. And this whole week,
a day, a week of encouragement where you sense God
calling you deeper still, into a closer walk with him,
dealing with issues not only of trials and challenges that

(17:10):
are coming your way, but the sin that maybe is
lurking in your life. And it can be something that's
been there a long time. I don't want you to
give up on God or yourself today. I want you
to know God wants to give you a victory. How
we're going to break it down. Coming up.

S1 (17:28):
She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her.
Super dei is in the crew. It's Colin Crew on
Moody Radio.

S2 (17:39):
Awareness of your need for God is a great gift
from God. There's nothing like it, guys. And some of
you might have gotten up this morning feeling like, yeah, Carl,
I feel my need for God. That's a good place
to be. Better than being ambivalent. A lot of people
walk through the spiritual light life pretty ambivalent to their

(18:00):
need for God. And that's a dangerous place to be.
That's a a lukewarm faith. That's where we've pushed Jesus
outside the heart's door of our life. And that's why
you can hear him knocking sometimes saying, let me in now.
God doesn't want to leave us there. And our need
for God is sometimes seen best in areas of our
life that need to change. 3500 years ago, a man

(18:24):
left a lasting legacy on the one thing to avoid
at all costs. And it was this thinking you know
better than God What makes him infamous was his rebellion.
His name's Cora. So let me take you back to
1440 BC. And Cora had this great idea, and it

(18:47):
certainly wasn't from God. He thought he could do better
than Moses, and he wanted Moses out of the seat.
It was a big political slash, national slash spiritual coup
in the making. And on cue, the way the story
goes is pretty epic. God said, no, Cora, you're not
the man. Moses is my man. Cora didn't flex. He

(19:11):
didn't repent. And on cue, the earth opens up. Cora
and 250 co-conspirators are swallowed up in the earth. I mean,
swallowed up. Now, here's what's epic about this story. He
had sons and daughters and family, and they were grieved

(19:36):
over the loss of their dad, and they were grieved
over what cost him his life and 250 co-conspirators. They
were grieved to the point where it stuck. He was
memorialized for his foolishness. His sin was ever before the
nation of Israel. Let me prove this to you. This

(19:57):
is going to blow your circuits. This is one of
the coolest things going. They became worship leaders, his descendants.
Not for one generation, not for two generations. Not for three,
not for ten, not for 15. Eight teen generations. Chorus.

(20:19):
Sons were the sons of Korah. His descendants were worship
leaders in Israel. And the reason that they are identified
is because they were now known 440 years later, at
1000 BC, that they were in it to win it,
and they weren't going to get stuck into there. How

(20:42):
would you say this? Great great great great great great
great great great great great great great great great grandfather sin.
Think about that. The sin was so grievous, so impactful,
so overwhelming that through oral tradition, when they'd sit down
around a campfire at night, they'd pass on this tradition.
The story never got lost. But what was not lost

(21:05):
on the sons of Korah? This worship band was the
fact that they could not let sin into the camp
of their hearts, and they were worship leaders, and they
reminded people of their need for God. So Korah screwed up.
The sons of Korah became worship leaders, and they lived

(21:29):
so closely with God that 18 Teen generations listen to
a song they wrote. I'm going to read to you
the first six verses of a song that chorus sons,
18 generations later wrote. Psalm 42 as the deer pants

(21:53):
for flowing streams. So pants my soul for you, O God.
Isn't this amazing? My soul thirsts for God, for the
living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night while
they say to me all day long, where is your God?
These things I remember as I pour out my soul,

(22:15):
how I would go with the throng and lead them
in a procession to the house of the Lord, with
glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? And why are
you in turmoil within me. Hope in God. They're bringing
them right back to God. For I shall again praise him,

(22:38):
my salvation and my God. These are amazing words. And
what they do is they memorialize the sins of a
father from 18 generations prior, 440 years, it had not
been lost on Israel that their hearts were far from

(22:58):
him and they needed him. You know, I'm going to
be helping unpack this whole week how to deal with
sin in your life so that songs aren't written about it.
The last thing we want to have is leave a legacy,
where we had something that lived in the shadows of
our life, that kept bubbling out on the surface, and

(23:18):
we want to be able to pass on to our
children and our children's children and leaving a legacy. Not
that we're sinlessly perfect, but that we don't have something
in our life that is grieving God, stifling the fruit
bearing passion of God that he wants to pour out
in you and me. And that's what we're going to

(23:39):
be tackling here. Let me just give you the short
of it, because some of you are thinking, oh, great,
you're going to give me the punchline. Here's the key.
We come back time and again to Titus two, verse
11 through 12, and I'm going to turn there, and
I'm just going to I'm, I'm going to give this
to you as some hope today, knowing that you might

(24:00):
be feeling like Carl. I know the sin that's before me,
I get it, I see it in my life. But
God hasn't left you alone for the grace of God.
Verse 11 of Titus two has appeared, bringing salvation for
all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions,

(24:21):
and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this
present age. I don't know what it is in your
life that needs to be turned around. I don't know
what ungodliness needs to be renounced. I don't know what
worldly passion you're battling with, but God's call on your

(24:44):
life is to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in
this present age. So if you've gotten up in this
morning and maybe by way of just us reading Scripture
and just speaking here a moment, God's bringing to mind
something in your life that causes you to need God.
You are in a great place because if you are

(25:05):
born again, the grace of God is at work in
your life, if you will but tap it today. So
tell God this thing I'm battling with this issue in
my life. God, pour out your grace. Let me tap
into your grace so that you will train me to

(25:27):
be the man or woman of God that you want
me to be today. Don't sit on it.

S1 (25:33):
He was sharing the gospel on the radio and then
he got saved. Young thunders in the crew. It's Carl
and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (25:43):
Well, we got news right here, guys. I mean, uh,
Ali tried to call me and I wasn't available, and
so she got Ahold of Chris Seaguard. I am broadcasting
live from Michigan this morning. I'm at a camp. Camp
maranatha speaking in the evenings. And, boy, this has been
a bit of something here. Ali, you had barricades all
around the station and you called and said, I can't

(26:05):
get in there.

S4 (26:07):
I don't, I'm still trying to find out what's going on.
But yeah, there was quite a bit of police activity,
kind of a whole perimeter set up. Um, about a
block from our actual studio. So we're trying to figure
out exactly what's going on, but had to do a
couple of turnarounds to get to get in this morning.

S2 (26:26):
It's something else. You know, I, I, I'm just grateful
for the grace of God today. Yes. Because can you imagine?
My bride and I say this all the time. Can
you imagine trying to navigate this life without God? Just.
I mean, no, of course I'd be on the liquor
squared here, man. I'd be popping something. I'd be doing

(26:48):
anything I could to avoid the pain of a world
that we live in. Because there's just too much, guys.
It's just too much. So we're grateful for God's grace today.
We're going to be talking about that grace to deal
with issues of need in your life, especially the issues
of sin. And when I say that word, I want
you to hear my heart on this one. We don't

(27:11):
condemn you because God doesn't either. He'll convict. I've noticed.
That's strong, right, Ali?

S4 (27:18):
Very much so. Yes. You mean a conviction is a
hard but beautiful thing it is.

S2 (27:26):
But it's God's intention always to draw us back to himself.
And it's a beautiful thing. So we're going to talk
about how to conquer the one thing that is defeating
you all week long. And we're going to have everything
loaded up in the show cast, and we're going to
be piecing this whole week together. So if you miss

(27:46):
anything ever, just get the show cast, just text the
word show to [phone]. Just text show to 800 555 7898.
We've got so many of you subscribed right now. I'm
still I'm. Here's my threshold, Ali. I've decided that when
less than 40 people text in the word show, then

(28:07):
I'll slow down. But as long as 40 people every
call out or are texting the word show, we're going
to keep it going. So honestly, today alone, I'm going
to have a special guest in here, right here at
Camp Maranatha. Josh Stevens is going to be with us
here in a second. So if you catch anything and
you're like, man, I need to hear that again, I

(28:27):
want to share that with someone just right now. Get subscribed.
It's simple to do. We've got two links embedded here.
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(28:53):
speaking of Josh Stevens, I heard this guy and I'm like,
oh my goodness, we have got a Bible teacher. I
was I was in the back row, but I was
leaning in. Ali, you'd have been proud of me. I
was all ears because this guy can flat dish it up.
It's just cool to see how many faithful men and
women are across the country.

S4 (29:14):
Yes. You know, I'm so with you on that. I
was out of town over the weekend, and I got
a chance to visit a church in a place I
had no familiarity with. I found this church online, looked
at a couple different churches, but really felt like, I
think the Lord wants us to go to this church
this morning. And it was a small church, maybe about
50 people, and I got to hear a message preached

(29:34):
by a guy who they he said, I've never gone
to Bible school. I listed all of the things that
he had going against him. It was his first time
ever teaching ever in his life. And I got to
be there and hear him. And I was so blessed
by his message. I thought, what a cool thing to

(29:55):
get to be a part of. It was kind of
a small country church and he was excited to do it,
but he hadn't slept a wink the night before. I thought,
I have been there.

S2 (30:06):
But it was beautiful.

S4 (30:07):
Oh man, it was such a cool thing to be
in a totally different part of the country and totally different,
different type of church than maybe I go to at home.
But man, he did. He nailed it on his first
sermon ever in life. He said, I've never even spoken
in front of a group of people.

S2 (30:21):
Oh my goodness, the poor guy. Don't you know he
conked out that afternoon?

S4 (30:26):
Oh, man. But it was such a blessing.

S2 (30:29):
Yeah. So many faithful that haven't bowed a knee to Baal.
It's so cool. Okay, coming up here in a moment.
Josh Stevens. Doctor. Josh Stevens. And I think you're going
to be blown away. We're going to take a quick
dip into the book of Ruth here and get a
couple of big ideas that might just blow your mind.
Hang on.

S1 (30:48):
You're listening to Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (30:51):
Have you ever had that situation in your life where
it's like, oh, boy. Somebody lifted me up before the Lord? Yes. Oh,
what a joy we have today to be broadcasting. I
am outside of studio. Far, far away. We are up
on the shores of Lake Michigan, just outside of Grand Rapids. Here,
not too far away.

S4 (31:08):
Say you're not. You're not too far.

S2 (31:10):
Couple hours. Just four hours. Not too bad. And we
are at camp maranatha, and I'm going to be speaking
here all week long. Been speaking since Sunday morning, and
we're going to be here in the evening sessions. But
I'm teamed up with a guy, the mystery man doctor
Josh Stevens, and I'm like, all right, who's this Josh
Stevens guy? And yesterday morning I went into his morning session.

(31:34):
The room was absolutely packed, and when he began to
dish it up, I opened up the Bible and I
dove in with him. This guy can flat dish it up.
Doctor Josh Stevens, lead pastor of Cape Bible Chapel in
Cape Girardeau. Right? My man. Absolutely. Missouri. You got to
get that right. He's also founder and executive director of

(31:57):
the Biblical Counseling Alliance. So you are a counselor at heart, right?

S5 (32:01):
I definitely am, yeah.

S2 (32:02):
And yet God has given you a great communication skill.
And now your lead pastor of a church in Missouri
that is dynamite. I want everyone to get a taste
of what I got a taste of yesterday. So break
it down, my man. The book of Ruth. There's some
great lessons in there, right?

S5 (32:18):
Yeah. One of the things that I think is really remarkable,
especially as you're you're thinking about this this morning, is
the book of Ruth is really designed to really stun
us with the sovereignty and the providence of God. We
have so many things that go on in our lives
that are unexpected. And, uh, and we we struggle at
different ways, but it's the reminder that in the midst

(32:38):
of that, God is really at work behind the scenes.

S2 (32:42):
Okay, so break it down. Sovereignty and providence. I loved
how you said front windshield, rear view mirror. Give that analogy.

S5 (32:49):
Yeah. Uh, definitely. As we think about these, uh, these
realities concerning God, uh, I had mentioned yesterday that sovereignty
is like looking out the front, front view of your
of your vehicle while you're driving. Since it's drive time
this morning and you're thinking about it that way, and
the providence is really when you look back in the
rear view mirror. But it is designed in such a
way that whether you're looking forward or backward in your life,

(33:11):
what you see is the work of God that is
active and involved in every single detail.

S2 (33:17):
Okay. The history behind the book of Ruth. Give us
what we can't give it all, but give us a
couple of high points.

S5 (33:24):
Yeah, definitely. One of the one of the high points
of Ruth is just really some of the characters and
the way that God works through these characters in the
midst of the people of Israel. They are they are
in the midst of a time where there is no
king in Israel. This is pre pre monarch period before
there was a king. And the book of Ruth is

(33:44):
set up by the end of judges, where it says
there was no king in Israel and everybody did what
was right in his own eyes.

S2 (33:51):
They wanted to do.

S5 (33:52):
Yeah. Not like we can relate to that in our culture.

S2 (33:55):
No, no, no nothing nothing. But we'll we'll go with
it anyway. Okay. Um, before we go to a quick
break here, give me one nugget that you want someone
to hold on to. Book of Ruth. And we're going
to go to a quick break and come back and
unpack it a little bit more.

S5 (34:08):
Yeah, definitely. When Naomi is struggling with a level of
bitterness and God and his kindness begins to soften her
heart by his sovereignty and providence, to draw her back
into a reality and a relationship with Jesus with with God,
who will ultimately be the ultimate kinsman redeemer.

S2 (34:29):
Yeah. Amazing picture. All right. You're going to get some
eye popping, mind blowing stuff here when it comes into, uh,
Naomi's story. Ruth's story? It's cool stuff with me this morning.
Josh Stevens teaching. And we're. We get to do this together, bud.

S5 (34:46):
Absolutely.

S2 (34:46):
This has already been quite a ride. Hang on. More
where this came from.

S1 (34:50):
Your shot of hope to help you through the day.
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (34:57):
I can see my team. I'm waving at them, but
they're a long ways away. We're waiting for our trip.

S4 (35:03):
Hey, Carl.

S2 (35:04):
Yeah. Yeah, this is great. Um, I am at camp maranatha.
We are on the shores of Lake Michigan, and I'm
here for a week. Speaking in the evening sessions with
me is Josh Stephens. He's in the morning sessions. And
yesterday you were peeling paint. Brother, I want you to
jump right into the book of Ruth. What do you
want our listeners to know here this morning?

S5 (35:24):
Yeah, one of the things that I think is really
helpful for us and just a key reminder of a verse,
especially as we're thinking this morning, Romans 828. And we
know for those who love God, all things work together
for good to those who are called according to his purpose.
And that's what you see unfolding, that providential act of
God through the story of the book of Ruth. And

(35:46):
you start this story and it's really bleak, and there's
a lot of things going on. The children of Israel
aren't doing well. They're they're they're moving away from their God.
There was no king. But really, this book is the
light in the midst of the darkness. That's what really
what's going on here.

S2 (36:03):
So the fact that they're Moabites, we got a problem
right from the jump, right?

S5 (36:07):
Yeah, absolutely. You start the book and what you see
is in the days of the judges, there was a
famine in the land. People are struggling, they're having a
hard time eating. And all of a sudden you're introduced
to this, to this Moabite woman named Ruth, whose husband
has died, who's, uh, who's who's a father in law
has died. All of these tragic events. And yet, uh,

(36:30):
even her mother in law is trying to push her away,
saying there is no hope. Why don't you just go
back to your own family and and perhaps, maybe find
a new husband? And yet she clings to Naomi and
she clings to Naomi's God. And that is a really
significant point as she turns to faith in the living God,
Yahweh of the people of Israel. And she's and she's

(36:51):
renewed and regenerated.

S2 (36:53):
Now, you made a point of saying Ruth's approach to
finding love, and you don't want to use this as
a prescription, pulling back, you know, sleeping bag covers and
and getting around dirty feet. Give the story, though, and
then explain what's happening here.

S5 (37:08):
Absolutely. Here you have the like I said, this bleak
situation and and it really sets it up because it's interesting,
because Naomi really tries to push Ruth back to her
family and tries to appeal to her by saying, well,
you're not going to have kids. There's going to be
no hope for you. And yet she she clings to
the God of Yahweh. She trusts in him, and and

(37:31):
she lives by faith. She enters back into the land
when they go back to Bethlehem. Uh, which which is
an incredible thing, because here you have a famine. Bethlehem
is the house of bread with no bread in it. And, uh,
and she is now being drawn back. She happens to
end up in the field of a man named Boaz.

(37:51):
And and this man is a godly man, and he
loves the Lord.

S2 (37:56):
Okay, let's. That's he, doesn't he? She happens to land
in Boaz's field historically. What's going on? And what's the
encouragement for someone today?

S5 (38:07):
Yeah, absolutely. Uh, really, when we're thinking about the story,
so many people, I think, make the mistake when they
come to the book of Ruth thinking that it's about
this love story between Boaz and Ruth. But it is
so much bigger than that in the providence of God.
This is really the story that Samuel writes to help
us understand how God created this Davidic line. And he

(38:30):
and from beginning to end, he sets this whole story
up to show us that there is hope in God
and that God has not. God will fulfill his promises
to bring that Davidic king that Samuel would one day anoint.

S2 (38:45):
So God's work is straight in the back story here?

S5 (38:48):
Absolutely.

S2 (38:48):
This is why we need to live with our head
on a swivel, because we don't know what God is
doing today. For anyone facing any kind of need that
they have in their life.

S5 (38:57):
Absolutely. In fact, I think so often especially what is
showcased is the struggle that we have on the on
the inner person of who we are. It's that struggle
of the heart that's displayed, uh, in acts of Faith
by Ruth when she says, well, I'm just going to
go out and hope to find favor with someone. Well,
what is that? That's living by faith. Yes. Right there

(39:18):
and then Naomi, who's struggling, whose name means pleasant. But
then it's bitterness.

S2 (39:24):
Yeah. Yeah, it is beautiful. Okay. Now, there is a
redemptive thread that is enormous. The Boaz story. There is
a link here that a lot of people miss. You
got to share this one.

S5 (39:39):
Yeah. You you look in in Ruth chapter two and
Ruth is out in the field and she meets Boaz,
and God orchestrates this entire event.

S2 (39:48):
Yeah.

S5 (39:49):
And all of a sudden, uh, in the in the
in the reality of the story, here's what happens. Ruth
is encouraged by her mother in law, Naomi, because Naomi
knows something that Ruth doesn't know when she comes back
from this benevolent man who is a who's a wealthy
man of stature in the book. And she says to
she says to Ruth, he is one of our redeemers.

(40:12):
And that is really one of the keys of the
book of Ruth is this kinsman redeemer. And this is
this is a reflective, uh, reality of the symbolic ultimate
kinsman redeemer who would one day, through his own son,
God's son, Jesus Christ, would buy us back from our
own sin. And and really, that's the thread that's going

(40:32):
on there. Who can do that? Well, only the King
of Kings and Lord of Lords can do that.

S2 (40:37):
In the genealogy here, that's a real kicker, is I
think a lot of people feel like my history, my
current situation. I don't have a spiritual silver spoon in
my mouth. No one does. We all were born with
our backs to God. We all, like sheep, have gone astray.
We've got stuff in our life that would make us

(40:58):
the least likely candidates to experience God's providence and sovereignty.
But with Boaz, we find a red thread of redemption.
His family. You know where I'm going. You got to
share this story.

S5 (41:12):
Yeah, this is incredible. Because even as you get to
the end of the book, which is really, uh, the
punchline of the book is here's the line of the
the King David, who would be promised this Davidic dynasty
who Jesus would sit and rule and reign on in
a literal kingdom. This is this is incredible. And then
he doesn't really give the backstory of the mothers until

(41:33):
and all of a sudden you get to the book
of Matthew and you realize that that Boaz was Boaz
was the son of Rahab.

S2 (41:43):
Yeah. Time out. Boaz is the son of Rahab.

S5 (41:49):
Absolutely.

S2 (41:50):
Okay. That's got huge implications for someone today.

S5 (41:54):
Oh my goodness. When, when when you look at this
reality and you think about these characters like Ruth and Rahab,
you know, you may be thinking to yourself, I haven't
grown up in a Christian home. I haven't had all
of these things going on and my life is really hard,
but the implications of that is God is seeking to
draw people to himself from every background, from every ethnicity

(42:18):
all over the world, because he loves to save people.
That's why he sent his son.

S2 (42:24):
Yeah. And the amazing thing about the genealogy in Matthew
and at the back end of Ruth, is that we
find that God's grafted in people from every nation, tribe
and tongue from the jump. This is not just a
New Covenant thing.

S5 (42:37):
No, this is this is really God's intention through His
Son to show how great and powerful and loving and
kind and gracious he really is. This is God making
available salvation to the world. I love that John 316
I never get tired.

S2 (42:54):
I know it's classic, but it's so true. It is.
He loved us so much. Josh Stevens has been my
guest here this morning. You got 30s. What do you
want someone to know right now.

S5 (43:04):
Well, if you're out there right now, one of the
things that I would love for you to just anchor
your soul to is this sovereignty and providence. God is
working all things together for good to those who love
him and who are called according to his purpose. He
has not forgotten about you. He has not forgotten about
your pain and your suffering, and he is going to

(43:25):
show himself great and worthy to you. He's drawing you
in your heart to himself.

S2 (43:31):
You know, it's amazing as you think about this book
of Ruth, the backstory of God's providence. It's everywhere, isn't it?
And we can be confident that he's at work around
those who love him today.

S5 (43:42):
Yeah, he he is doing so much more than we
could ever imagine.

S2 (43:46):
Awesome. Josh, I love you, man. It's great to be
with you this week. There's a lot of people today
that are struggling with a lot of different issues in
their life, not least of which is cancer. And we
got a friend, and this guy's tremendous. His name is
Phil Zilkha, silky, and he's got a ministry that provides
comfort and care to people in need. And it's beautiful.

(44:11):
Hang on. Buckle up. Get a swig of water. We
got Phil Zylka showing up here straight ahead.

S1 (44:16):
Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight.
Super die is in the crew. It's curl and crew
on Moody Radio.

S2 (44:26):
Oh, guys, I gotta tell you, we got a good man,
Phil Zylka. What a dude, huh, Ali? Talk about giving comfort. Yeah.

S4 (44:33):
Phil Zylka is a good friend of the program. He's
the founder and executive director of Phil's Friends, which is
an incredible ministry with the mission to provide Christ centered
support and hope to those affected by cancer.

S2 (44:45):
Yeah. Phil. Man, you people need comfort. Let's just start
right there. Right? My man.

S6 (44:51):
They absolutely do.

S2 (44:52):
Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. Uh, Phil, I want to
hear your backstory, because this is this is heart wrenching
and heartwarming. Give your story. And what? What in the
world led to Phil's friends?

S6 (45:04):
Well, it definitely wasn't of my own accord, but when
I was 22, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer.
I found out that I was in the most advanced
stage of the disease for nine months when they found it.
So I'd already had a ton of symptoms of, you know,
losing a bunch of weight, having night sweats every night.
My hips were throbbing where the pain was coming from
my bones. And finally, through a series of tests, they

(45:25):
found out that I was diagnosed with cancer. And my
dad's the one who delivered the news to me on
my on my bedside and just said, Lord, I know
that fills your child. When he prayed with me and
he said, no matter how long Phil's supposed to live,
I just ask that he can be a witness to
you and what you've done for us. I ended up
doing six months of chemo. I ended up getting better.

(45:46):
I started my first, uh, career as a fourth grade teacher,
taught for a few months, then stage four cancer, came
back and went through another, uh, basically year of chemotherapy,
had a stem cell transplant, did radiation, and then the
doctors finally said I was cancer free. And it was
during those times when my faith was built. It was
during those times when people showed up for me in

(46:07):
the most incredible ways. I had a group of people
who put a care package together for me, and they
always say the simple things are the most profound. Well,
I found that out because when that care package came
and everybody had signed their names to it, said they
were thinking and praying for me, it caused me to
break down and cry, to know that I wasn't alone,
to know that people were praying for me, and to
know that it was okay to accept other people's help.

(46:28):
And then when I was well enough to be at home,
I'd lay upstairs on the second floor on the couch,
and my parents would be at work, and my siblings
would be at school and in the empty house. I'd
always wear my watch, and I'd look forward to when
it was 1:00. And why 1:00? Because that's when the
mailman came. And so I'd worked my energy up to
the edge of the couch, make my way down the stairs,
out to the front door to see who remembered me.

(46:49):
And every single week for two years, I pulled a
card out with my name on it and always came
at the right time with the right message. There was
a Bible verse. People said they were praying for me.
And even if that journey from upstairs to downstairs would
wear me out for that entire day, once I had
that card of encouragement in my hand, it gave me
the strength to go back up those stairs again. And
then my grandfather did something really, really special for me.

(47:12):
He delivered God's word to me. He traveled 300 miles,
showed up at my bedside unannounced. He grabbed the Bible
from my from my house that was on the shelf
that was just collecting dust. And he highlighted all the
verses with hope and strength and peace. And then he
read those aloud to me. He walked over to my
bedside and he said, Phil, I need to tell you something.
Your grandma and I, we love you, but most importantly,

(47:33):
your heavenly father does. And then he gave me the
gift of God's word by putting that on my nightstand
and walked out. And when I couldn't have visitors or
didn't want visitors. God's word is where I got my strength.
From where I got my hope. God's word is powerful.
And through that, during my stem cell transplant, when they
took my own, harvested my own stem cells, I thought
it was going to be my time. I had finally

(47:54):
reached my breaking point. I had finally realized that my
will was not going to be enough to get through
this and my own strength. And that's when I cried
out to God. And I said, Lord, I believe Jesus
died for me. I want to go to heaven. Uh,
I don't want to be in this pain anymore. But
if it's not my time, I promise to give the
rest of my life to you and whatever you have
planned for me. And then through that, I just. It

(48:15):
was like I could see the situation clearly. The scales
fell off my eyes and I realized it's not because
of myself. So I can get stronger when I go
through this. It's actually God has me in this, this
place of brokenness so that I can see other people
that are broken and really showing me a real need
to support other people with cancer, not just the patients,
but also the families. And so I'd set these little

(48:37):
bite sized goals one day, just sit on the side
of my bed by myself, eventually make it out in
the hallway and have my IV pole connected to me,
and I'd have a nurse or family member by my side.
And I'd set these little bite sized goals, and I
wanted to get to the first door on day one.
Eventually the second door. Eventually, I'd make my way all
the way around that hallway and I saw kids. I
saw adults who had no one. I thought, this is

(48:59):
absolutely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.
Myself and my family and people are doing this all alone.
And that absolutely crushed me. It devastated me to see
that people were going through this all alone. And not
only that, people didn't know who their savior was. And
so whether you're a believer, whether you're not. We all
need encouragement. We all need that lifeline. And that's with that,

(49:20):
our direct relationship with Jesus. And he says in James
four eight that when we draw near to him, he
will draw near to us. And so for me, my
image was and my reality was lifting my hands up
to the Lord in my hospital bed and him putting
his hands inside of mine. And then the other reality
was just like he does with all of us in
our daily lives. We can, when we draw near to

(49:42):
God and we reach our hand out to him, he
actually takes us by the hand and walks us through
whatever that fire, that.

S2 (49:47):
Yeah. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

S4 (49:50):
Our guest right now, founder and executive director of Phil's
Friends starting in 2009, you left your teaching career to
devote your time fully to Phil's friends. You mentioned a
couple of key things that were so instrumental in the
support that you received through those little of the the,
the prayer, the visits, the cards. So the your ministry

(50:12):
is primarily focused on those couple things. Talk a little
bit about some of the practical ways that you support
cancer patients and their families.

S6 (50:20):
It is the really neat thing is the way that
God showed up for me. Were seeing that God is
showing up for thousands of people across America through this
ministry in those similar ways. So if you know anybody
that's going through cancer, you can go to our website,
Phil's friends.org, which is friends, and you can request a
care package for anybody that you know of any age,

(50:41):
whatever stage, wherever they are across the country. And we
have volunteers and our Hope centers where we have people
up to 50 people at a time that come in
and pack the care packages and make the cards, it
helps people put their own faith into action. and then
those care packages get shipped and they show up anonymously
in a decorated box with a blanket and a journal
and a Bible and many items in there that are

(51:02):
comforting and practical and help people on their spiritual development
and their walk while they're going through this disease.

S2 (51:09):
That's so.

S6 (51:09):
Good. We visit people in hospitals as well and do
the same. And then after that, just the same way
that I got cards every single week. Now we send
what's called cards of Hope, and they have simple jokes
on there, like, you know, simple dad jokes, which I
understand as a father of two now, how important jokes are,
you know.

S2 (51:26):
For sure.

S4 (51:27):
That.

S2 (51:28):
Oh yeah.

S6 (51:29):
And then there's also a Bible verse on there. And
people let them know that they're praying for them. And
we hear often that these cards, these follow up cards
that come, people put on the refrigerator. Uh, we've heard
stories of paramedics in their house having to take people
to the hospital, and they see these plastered over people's walls,
or they put them in scrapbooks. They just need a
place to cry. And it's an opportunity to, you know,
not only smile, but also realize that you're not alone

(51:52):
and that we have a prayer team. And our goal
this year as an organization we're praying is to double
the size of that. We want every single person that
we support and their families to be prayed for by name.

S2 (52:02):
Yeah. I love it. Phil Zilka is our guest right now. Phil,
I love your heart for this and it is powerful.
And sometimes it's just in the nick of time when
you need it, that is for sure. Ali, we got
a key word so that people don't have to plug
in a URL here. What do you got?

S4 (52:19):
We do. You can text friends to 800 555 7898.
Text friends to 800 555 7898. Phil. Lastly, just give
us a quick story of how you you've seen God
use this. These cards, these care packages give us a story.

S6 (52:37):
Sure. So we've heard so many amazing stories and some
are just simple things of people, you know, not being
alone and being prayed for and encouraged. But one story
that really hits my heart recently is that there was
a man who was estranged from his family and had
kind of pulled back. He wasn't a believer. The rest
of his family was. And eventually his sister found out

(52:57):
where he was. And by the time he did, he
was in a local hospital. So we went and visited him.
Turned out that he had stage four cancer and he
was getting ready to move to hospice soon. And that
next day his sister had Phil's friends packing event at
their church. So they were putting all the packages together.
And she went through and she said, I'm going to
pack a care package for my brother. So went through
in his favorite, um, you know, blanket and favorite material

(53:21):
was tie dye. And so she put a tie dye
blanket in the care package, put the Bible and all
of that in there. The next day, went to visit
him at the hospital, showed up and said, here's the
blanket just to let you, you know, be covered in
God's love. And he put that blanket on immediately. Um,
and then went through the Bible and all the other
items in the care package. Well, the next day he
ended up getting moved to hospice. The hospice worker showed

(53:42):
up in the room and they tried to put the
hospice blanket on him. And he said, absolutely not. You know,
I got this blanket. It's from my sister. And so
kept the blanket on. And, um, turns out that, uh,
he had his own family that they didn't realize about.
One was a believer and another one of his daughters
was a believer. The other one wasn't. And so the
one that was a believer took the Bible out of

(54:03):
the care package and was reading it to him. And
eventually he said, you know, I want to accept Jesus
as my Savior. This is going to be the end. Um,
and I want to have, you know, life that's going
to be eternal. And so he did. He ended up
passing away. And then the story didn't end there, because
then the other daughter that was not a believer saw
what happened and started picking up the Bible. And she
also became wow as a result. And so you think

(54:25):
about one care package that's requested. So I would just
encourage whoever's listening today. If you know someone with cancer,
take that first step and request that free care package.
Ex-friends dot.

S4 (54:35):
Org. You can text friends. We'll send you the link
right to your phone. Text friends to 800 555 7898.
Text friends to 800 555 7898.

S2 (54:48):
Phil I Phil. I love you, man. And there's gonna
there's already a lot of them going out. In fact,
we just got a text from someone, Phil that said,
sure enough, we we got one. My wife received one
and she said it was so precious. So thank you,
Phil Zylka. What an amazing ministry text, friends. What a
what a powerful way to encourage someone today. Text friends

(55:09):
to 800 555 7898 one word friends to 800 555 7898.

S1 (55:18):
You can take them out of Alaska, but you can't
take Alaska out of him. Carl is in the crew.
It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (55:28):
Arlene Pelican I'm here in, uh, on the shores of
Lake Michigan at a camp about four hours away. And, uh,
there are some. It's crazy. It's really bizarre. There's no
TVs in the room. There's very few devices in hands.
Kids are out running around through the woods and on

(55:49):
the beach, and they've got scooters that they're pushing around.
They're laughing, they're playing. They're having a good old time.
It's like a blast to the past here. Arlene.

S7 (55:59):
It's 2025, but it's still it's like the good days
are back again. And you know what? It's so sweet
is like, this is why parents pay for their kids
to go places, because obviously they're going to meet with God.
That's the main reason. But they're going to be playing
outside of nature. But here's the thing. You can literally
do this at home. Like, can you imagine like you

(56:20):
don't have to go away to experience this. You could
say like, hey, we're going to do a screen free
week at home, like camp home. And you will have
to present this with a great deal of enthusiasm to
your children, and you probably will need to get a
few friends involved so they can go do things. But
this the same thing you're experiencing. I think that's what's interesting.

(56:41):
We think, oh, that's only for one week a year
that we can have this, like awesome, glorious Inglorious childhood.
But this could be like every week of the year potentially.
So let that kind of sink in.

S4 (56:52):
Parents Arlene Pelikan, our guest right now, speaker, author, host
of the Happy Home Podcast. So let's talk about how
because it sounds great. Every parent listening. We're in July.
We're in kind of the dog days of summer. And
maybe you're fresh out of ideas and kids are attached

(57:12):
to these screens. I, as a parent of a 16
year old and an almost 13 year old, it is
an ongoing challenge to keep that balance. Give some practical
tips for how parents can initiate this. You mentioned a
screen free week. Do you start with a screen free
maybe afternoon or screen free day and work your way
up to it?

S7 (57:30):
Or free minute, you know, or you just.

S4 (57:34):
Dive in, head first.

S7 (57:35):
And go somewhere?

S4 (57:36):
Yeah. How do you start?

S7 (57:37):
So this is going to depend on you as a parent.
But I do encourage you to have a plan. Like
don't just kind of go out there and try something.
Have a plan. And you just the fact that you're
listening to this, this could be your pivot point to, okay,
I'm going to stop wasting the summer. I'm going to
do something. And I think starting with some kind of
challenge is a good thing. And that would be something

(57:59):
the whole family would do. So maybe it's a YouTube
challenge like, hey guys, we're going to try to see
who can stay off YouTube the longest, you know, and
really maybe have some kind of legitimate prize for the
winner or, you know, hey, we're going to do this
for one week together or we're going to not, you know,
whatever the, you know, the favorite thing, whether it's TikTok

(58:19):
or Instagram, Snapchat, whatever, be like, we're going to stay
off of this for one week. And when we're finished,
this is what we're going to do. Or have a
money prize. So for our family, we never did an allowance.
My poor children. Right. They didn't get an allowance. So
but what they would do is they have like incentive money,
you know, read this book and you'll make $20 do that. Right.

(58:39):
So it was more like that. So you may want
to rethink the way you distribute allowance and tie that
to screens. I think that money is another thing that talks,
especially to teenagers.

S2 (58:52):
Yeah, that is beautiful. Arlene Pelikan, our guest right now. Arlene,
coming up, I have I have a conviction that's born
out of experience. And I wonder if we're expecting something
out of our kids that we are not doing ourselves.
So coming up here in a moment, I want to
tackle this for I want you to get really practical

(59:14):
with all of us adults and go, all right, how
can we lead and model the way? Hang on. More
with Arlene. Straight ahead.

S1 (59:21):
A basketball mom who's mastered the dad joke. Ali is
in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

S2 (59:30):
Arlene Pelikan with us this morning. We are tackling a
hot topic. I know it's hot because it's not just.
It's not just followers of Christ that are seeing this challenge.
There are week long, month long digital detox camps for adults. Arlene,
does that surprise you?

S7 (59:51):
It does not surprise me. It would surprise me if
a mass amount of adults would actually agree to go
to such a thing.

S8 (59:57):
Because. Because most of us, it doesn't surprise me they exist.

S7 (01:00:02):
It surprise me if someone really actually goes because we
are in denial that we are like, oh no, it's
not us. Someone else. But it's not my problem. I
need this for work.

S2 (01:00:12):
Yeah, but I'm so convicted by this and I'm not
I don't I do not have I've done I'm pretty
disciplined at keeping myself separated from a lot of these
social platforms that can gobble up a lot of time.
But there are ways with a phone, whether it's news feeds, ESPN,
you name it. And and one thing that I've noticed

(01:00:35):
is we talk a lot about kids getting off devices.
But if you go into restaurants. You find moms and
dads seem to lead the way on this a lot,
and I don't want to condemn, but at the same time,
I want to resource people. Have you done some work?
Study on this, Arlene. And what do you say? I mean,
modeling is everything, isn't it?

S7 (01:00:56):
Modeling is so much, you know, I think of the
late Howard Hendricks, and he said, you cannot impart what
you do not possess. And I think a lot of
us adults have to get to the point where, hey,
I can pass on a healthy use of technology to
my kids. You know, like if my kids use it
just like me, would I be satisfied? Would I know, wow,

(01:01:16):
that's pleasing to God. That's working with people. And for
a lot of us, we'd be like, oh no, you know,
I wake up with my phone, I go to sleep
with my phone. I glance at my phone all day long.
So for us as adults, just think of that phone
as like this intruder in your home, right? That's literally
watching you all day long and seeing exactly what are

(01:01:37):
you interested in? What do you click on? What interests you?
What makes you linger and it's watching you, and then
it's serving up more of that to you. And there
has to be, I think, a little bit of disgust
where we're like, that is not cool. I do not
want that anymore. And for out of that to say,
I'm going to do a few different things and that
might start with like, hey, no phones at the meals,

(01:01:59):
no phones on date night, no phones when we're doing
family activity, you know, all those kinds of things. And
you can start in those specific places.

S4 (01:02:06):
Now, Arlene, I know you took what many would consider
somewhat a drastic approach with your own three children, and
that none of them got phones until what age? Remind
me what age.

S7 (01:02:18):
I love, I love this word drastic.

S8 (01:02:21):
So sometimes the things need drastic measures.

S7 (01:02:24):
No, but our kids, basically our son Ethan, who just
graduated from college, he got it the summer before college.
Our daughter Noelle was offered it as a senior in
high school and said, you know what? I'd like to
get it at the end of the year after my
AP exams. So she got her phone in May of
her senior year. And then our daughter Lucy is going
to be a junior and does not have a phone

(01:02:45):
and most likely will not have one throughout high school
as well. We found a lot of workarounds and they have.
It's the whole idea when your kids know, oh, there's
actually real life. Like I have hobbies and I have friends.
I was talking to a girl in our neighborhood and
we walked to coffee. I mean, talk about the old days.

(01:03:06):
And she really didn't take out her phone either. And
we walked down the street. We went to get coffee
and she told me, Arlene, because I asked her about it.
She said, I use social media, like to post about
events and to like, look at my family, like my
extended family across the United States. And that's all. And
what I found is I really prefer talking to people.
And I was like, wow, if only a lot of

(01:03:28):
adults could have this realization. So I think it's something
all of us adults have to kind of rethink as well.

S2 (01:03:36):
Yeah, it's this is fascinating. And this is a tough one. Uh,
practically speaking, there's a lot of parents that are listening
right now, and grandparents that they know that these phones
are really hurting their kids. It's making them very sedentary.
It's actually getting them into kind of death loops that
are really some of them are dangerous. Some of them

(01:03:58):
are not dangerous per se, but they are dangerous in
that they're stealing life from them. Yeah. What do you
do if you're a parent? We've asked you this before,
but it bears repeating. What do you do if you've
got a kid that you've given a lot of latitude to,
and you want to reveal some of that back in,
but you don't want to look like an angry evangelical
because no one does. You want to look like a

(01:04:19):
freedom fighter. How do you how do you how do
you frame that?

S7 (01:04:23):
It's so good it's to think of yourself that way.
First of all, to realize if I when I let
me even change that, when I do something, when I intervene,
I am fighting for freedom. I'm not going to be
this big meanie. So a lot of it is your
heart behind it. I would suggest to us parents we
need to pray. We need to fast whether you can

(01:04:43):
fast one meal, whether you fast a whole day and
specifically you are praying. God, give me wisdom to know
what to do with this child who's struggling with video games,
who is sitting for hours a day like show me
what to do, start in prayer, start that way, and
then go to that child with humility. With love. Hey, buddy,

(01:05:04):
I know that this is something you want to do.
I know that, and I know this isn't going to
be popular, but I see that this is not good
for you. And I'm sorry, because I'm like the drug dealer.
I'm the one giving it to you. And of course,
you know, the eyes are rolling and it's like, whatever,
you know, like, okay, can I get back to my game?
Can I get back to my phone? Uh, and so
I think there's a true humility in it and make

(01:05:25):
it specific, like, not just like, hey, we're going to
do this less, but hey, these are this is what
we're going to do, whether it's a certain night that
they have to take off, whether it's a certain amount
of hours of sleep that they actually need to kind
of show, by the way they act in the morning
that they've actually had, you know, all those things. It's
what a parent has to do to step in what

(01:05:46):
a coach has to do when it's like these, these
plays are not working. Like, we better start somewhere else.
We're going to really have a losing season. You come
in and you make the change.

S4 (01:05:55):
Arlene Pelican. Good stuff. I know you've written a couple
of different books on this topic. You've written calm, cool
and connected. You've written Growing Up Social and then some
screen kids. A couple variations there as well. We've got
a keyword for you. If you want more on Arlene's resources,
just text happy to 800 555 7898 text happy to

(01:06:18):
855 five 7898. Just go ahead and look through those books. Resources.
There's a video there as well. Text happy to 855
five 7898.

S2 (01:06:30):
Thank you, Arlene, for being with us. Always compelling content, sister.