July 25, 2025 • 14 mins
Minister of Children, Abraham Leonard, interviewed Pastor Jon Oettel on the topic of parenting. Listen to Pastor Jon Oettel share helpful insights with the world!
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello,
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
UNKNOWN (00:25):
Music
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
Welcome to the show, Pastor John O'Eddle, aka Just
John.
How are you doing?
Doing well, Abraham.
Thanks for asking.
Having a good day.
Well, could you tell us a littlebit about your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
SPEAKER_00 (00:52):
Yeah, so...
Doing well overall.
Family's doing well right now.
The kids are at camp.
Lacey's at camp as a leader.
They're enjoying their time.
Married about 20 years.
Be 21 in December.
So Lacey and I have beenenjoying life together.
We have two teenagers.
We have a 14-year-old and a17-year-old.
Anna will be heading into hersenior year this next year, and
(01:15):
Josiah will be a freshman.
And yeah, my ministry began...
I was a lay minister growing up,working with children, and then
I was a teacher by trade andministry by call into children's
ministry.
For the first five years ofbeing a pastor, I was a
children's pastor, and thesecond five was associate
(01:37):
pastor, and that was up atCalvary Community Church in St.
Cloud, Minnesota.
That's home for me.
And in the last couple of years,I've been here in Kansas City in
Kearney, and we've been here acouple of years at First
Baptist.
I've been here three years inAugust as an attendee, and then
(01:58):
just over two years on staff asone of the pastors.
My fancy title is executivepastor, and so I get to do a lot
of different things, overseeinga lot of different ministries.
Really, I like to think if noone has that responsibility,
they just say, well, That soundslike a good thing John could do.
(02:34):
I also lead the nominatingcommittee, so we do a lot of
different things.
I'm connected with a lot ofdifferent people.
I certainly help withbenevolence and really just
support all the ministries hereat First Baptist Church.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
Well, that's a good bio of you, John.
Would you start by telling usmaybe a good parenting memory or
a couple good parenting memoriesthat you have?
SPEAKER_00 (02:59):
Yeah, it's hard.
I mean, you think about all thevisits to the park or splash pad
or zoo and all the fun thingsthat happen but so often
memories aren't like a plannedmemory like you wake up one day
and you're like this is going tobe the good memory day it
doesn't often work that way andI think you know just especially
(03:19):
when the kids are young there'sdifferent stages there's so many
memories when I think about itcould be birthday or the first
lost tooth but I think one isabout I think about training my
children, training up a child inthe way they should go.
So I think about that.
Discipline.
(03:40):
And so I guess one would be kindof a general memory, and it
happened often throughout, howGod uses children for
sanctification.
And how I would discipline mychild, could be Honor Josiah,
and just say, hey, I've told youthis So many times, why aren't
(04:01):
you listening to me?
And in my heart, in my mind, Ijust sense God saying, John, why
don't you always listen to me?
Be patient here.
And so I think, man, a memorythat's constant is how we need
God in our parenting.
(04:22):
And the Holy Spirit helps us aswe parent, and he refines us as
we help refine ourselves.
our children, and we get to be apart of that process.
So that's kind of a generalmemory.
Another memory I have is reallyfunny.
When Lacey's away, I cook, andby cooking, that means I'm
(04:45):
picking up a pizza or something.
So I got pizza for dinner.
It's just Anna and Josiah and I,and they're younger, and we
start...
talking and asking.
They ask questions.
We're having a good time atdinner.
And they start asking questionsabout mommies and daddies and
babies.
And so I'm like, okay, I'llstart answering these questions
and not shy away.
(05:06):
We've always done that with ourkids.
And they start asking how babiescome to be.
And so I'm here at the dinnertable.
Lacey's not even around.
And I'm talking about howmommies and daddies have babies.
And they're old enough to knowbody parts, and they understand
some of this.
(05:27):
But I look back at this moment,I thought, that moment is wild
to think.
I would not have planned havinglike a maybe eight or nine,
maybe 10-year-old Ana was, butjust I would have been six or
seven.
And we're going into specificsabout how babies come to be and
how God designed it.
(05:47):
That just goes to show you, yourmemories aren't often planned
memories.
So those are a couple of goodmemories that come to mind when
I think about parenting in thelast 17 years.
SPEAKER_01 (06:00):
Yeah, those are some good memories.
Could you tell us about somehard times that you've had as a
parent and how you have overcamethem?
SPEAKER_00 (06:12):
I think some of the hardest times are early on in
parenting, and this is oftenbecause it's early on in
marriage as well.
It's two sinners married to oneanother, having little unrefined
sinners thrown into the mix.
And so it becomes kind of astressful and hard time in
(06:34):
ongoing ways.
I mean, what could go wrong withthat?
A bunch of sinners living in thehousehold together that are
selfish and want their own way.
I think the biggest thing toremember is to stay on the same
page as husband and wife.
So Lacey and I fighting to stayon the same page.
If she would say something Idisagreed with, I would wait at
(06:57):
a right time to pull her aside.
We'd talk about it and be like,hey, why did we do that?
Why are we thinking that?
And because you can abdicateresponsibility sometimes as a
father.
If you're busy, maybe you'reworking and you're stressed out
and hectic.
And if you let yourself, you canjust let...
Oh, I'll just let Lacey parent.
She'll be the one that parents.
(07:18):
Well, that's not right.
So I'm in on the decisions, butbeing on the same page with her
is vital, is important.
And so I think there's just ageneral...
not specific, hard time, butbeing on the same page with your
spouse is vital for that.
(07:38):
And that you hash it outtogether, so that way you're not
hashing it out in front of thekids, because they'll pick up on
that and they'll be like, what'sgoing on?
And they're not realizingthey're part of this being the
stress in the marriage, but...
They are contributing.
They're needy.
And if you're not willing towork together on it in the
(07:59):
parenting, it becomes a messpretty quickly.
So we had to work that out overthe first couple of years,
especially parenting.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
I like how you said that two centers together and
then you throw more littlecenters in the mix.
That was good.
If you were going to go back intime...
And tell yourself, before youhad kids, some parenting advice,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_00 (08:26):
Yeah.
And as a father, I'd say youmust lead and be willing to put
aside your downtime and yourneed for hobby time and be
willing to sacrifice.
I would have loved to havelearned that earlier on and not
pushed against it so much.
(08:47):
Confession time...
I'm a big sire at times.
I'm not a big angry, explosivekind of guy, but there's this
underlying murmuring, evensighing, where I'll just be
like...
And I'll do that.
I find myself doing that whenI'm stressed out, and I'll just
keep doing that.
My wife picks up on it, ofcourse, and sometimes it's a
(09:09):
discontentedness in my heart.
And so I'm not, yeah, like Isaid, not a big yeller.
I'm not hollering at the kidsand Lacey, but I often sigh and
am impatient.
And that was often early onbecause I wasn't willing to
sacrifice to the degree I neededto.
I didn't lean into...
(09:31):
God's call to lay down my lifefor my bride and then also to
shepherd and guide my kids well.
I would often fight for, well, Ijust need to do this.
I need to go here.
I need to have some quality metime.
That's a lie.
And it's actually not satisfyingbecause in your heart as a dad,
(09:54):
as a father, as a husband,you're feeling the need to help
your family and lead yourfamily.
And And if you don't lean intothe sacrificial part of that,
you'll quickly becomediscontented and even like kind
of broken inside.
And I found that happening.
And so that's one of thosethings I'd go back and tell
(10:16):
myself, John, yes, you need timeto vent.
Yes, you need time and you needyour own time.
But if something has to give,the Father is the first to give
it.
I shouldn't be required of themother first.
The father's called to lead byGod.
And remember this daily.
(10:36):
So that requires strength thatis not your own.
And so that required me as afather to dig in to the supply
of infinite strength of God's.
It wasn't my own strength daily.
It was turning to him each dayfor my parenting, certainly for
leading my family and leadingLacey.
And then when things come yourway, then what?
(10:59):
Well, then I don't have to relyon my own strength.
I turn to Him and say, God, whatabout this?
Oh, Lord, I could use a day ofrest.
Help me get a good day of rest.
And if that doesn't come,talking to God about that and
certainly talking to Lacey aboutthat too.
So those are some of the thingsI think of when I look back on
parenting and it's only been 17years not a grandparent yet but
(11:21):
someday lord willing that'llcome if he tarries and uh i'll
have that benefit of uh thosegolden years of grandparenting
but the here and now i've had agreat parenting journey so far
and enjoying the teenage yearsi've really enjoyed every stage
of parenting
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
that's really really good helpful advice and i I know
I can benefit from that, andalso all the listeners can
benefit from that.
I want to end on a little bitlighter note.
Do you have a funny or a coupleof your favorite funny parenting
stories?
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
Yes.
I mean, there's so many atdifferent stages.
I mean, I think of an early onone.
Let me ask you a question.
So I like sports.
Are you a baseball fan?
UNKNOWN (12:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (12:09):
I guess, I guess kind of, you know, I like to
root for the Cardinals just tomess
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
with everybody else.
That's right.
That's right.
So yeah, you and I both are notKansas City Royal fans.
Now we like them.
I'm glad they win.
It's fun.
But I'm also a Minnesota Twinsfan.
Okay.
Grew up in Minnesota.
I love the Twins.
So we're bringing Ana to herfirst Twins game.
which she doesn't rememberbecause she was born in May and
(12:37):
we were going in like July orAugust.
This is a few months in.
So we're bringing her and she'swearing her cute little twins
onesie.
And the way you get to the park,at least from where we were, is
an easy way is to take the lightrail.
And so we're on the light rail.
It is jam-packed.
We're young, so we're standing.
(12:58):
There's older people sitting andpeople that just have need to
sit.
And we're standing.
I'm holding on to the rail.
And all of a sudden, Lacey'slike, oh, no, John.
I'm like, what?
What's wrong?
Anna had a blowout.
And so all parents know thatterm, blowout, or you'll learn
it pretty quickly.
(13:18):
That's when the diaper doesn'tcontain...
Everything.
And so it blows out.
And so it was up her back.
It was out the sides.
It was bad.
And we're standing.
What do you do?
Well, this sweet, older couplethey were probably in their
early 80s they oh dear let mehelp you he gets up there's a
(13:42):
kind of we make a littlechanging pad station right there
lacy as a mom she's fullyprepared she has an extra outfit
all of these things and in themoment it was kind of stressful
but when we look back on a funnymoment of parenting like it was
this moment of like hey is thisfirst fun and then what are we
going to do when a curveballcomes our way Speaking of
(14:04):
baseball, so we had a great timeat the game.
I don't remember if the Twinswon or not, but the biggest
memory there was this funnystory of a big old mess and
trying to roll with the punches.
Looking back, that was a reallyfunny memory, especially early
on.
That's
SPEAKER_01 (14:22):
a good, funny memory, and that's a good note
to end on.
On behalf of all the listenersand myself, I want to thank you
for being on the show today.
thank you thank you for joiningme i hope this was an
encouragement to you pleasefollow the show leave a review
and share it with the peoplearound you
Hello,
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
UNKNOWN (00:25):
Music
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
Welcome to the show, Pastor John O'Eddle, aka Just
John.
How are you doing?
Doing well, Abraham.
Thanks for asking.
Having a good day.
Well, could you tell us a littlebit about your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
SPEAKER_00 (00:52):
Yeah, so...
Doing well overall.
Family's doing well right now.
The kids are at camp.
Lacey's at camp as a leader.
They're enjoying their time.
Married about 20 years.
Be 21 in December.
So Lacey and I have beenenjoying life together.
We have two teenagers.
We have a 14-year-old and a17-year-old.
Anna will be heading into hersenior year this next year, and
(01:15):
Josiah will be a freshman.
And yeah, my ministry began...
I was a lay minister growing up,working with children, and then
I was a teacher by trade andministry by call into children's
ministry.
For the first five years ofbeing a pastor, I was a
children's pastor, and thesecond five was associate
(01:37):
pastor, and that was up atCalvary Community Church in St.
Cloud, Minnesota.
That's home for me.
And in the last couple of years,I've been here in Kansas City in
Kearney, and we've been here acouple of years at First
Baptist.
I've been here three years inAugust as an attendee, and then
(01:58):
just over two years on staff asone of the pastors.
My fancy title is executivepastor, and so I get to do a lot
of different things, overseeinga lot of different ministries.
Really, I like to think if noone has that responsibility,
they just say, well, That soundslike a good thing John could do.
(02:34):
I also lead the nominatingcommittee, so we do a lot of
different things.
I'm connected with a lot ofdifferent people.
I certainly help withbenevolence and really just
support all the ministries hereat First Baptist Church.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
Well, that's a good bio of you, John.
Would you start by telling usmaybe a good parenting memory or
a couple good parenting memoriesthat you have?
SPEAKER_00 (02:59):
Yeah, it's hard.
I mean, you think about all thevisits to the park or splash pad
or zoo and all the fun thingsthat happen but so often
memories aren't like a plannedmemory like you wake up one day
and you're like this is going tobe the good memory day it
doesn't often work that way andI think you know just especially
(03:19):
when the kids are young there'sdifferent stages there's so many
memories when I think about itcould be birthday or the first
lost tooth but I think one isabout I think about training my
children, training up a child inthe way they should go.
So I think about that.
Discipline.
(03:40):
And so I guess one would be kindof a general memory, and it
happened often throughout, howGod uses children for
sanctification.
And how I would discipline mychild, could be Honor Josiah,
and just say, hey, I've told youthis So many times, why aren't
(04:01):
you listening to me?
And in my heart, in my mind, Ijust sense God saying, John, why
don't you always listen to me?
Be patient here.
And so I think, man, a memorythat's constant is how we need
God in our parenting.
(04:22):
And the Holy Spirit helps us aswe parent, and he refines us as
we help refine ourselves.
our children, and we get to be apart of that process.
So that's kind of a generalmemory.
Another memory I have is reallyfunny.
When Lacey's away, I cook, andby cooking, that means I'm
(04:45):
picking up a pizza or something.
So I got pizza for dinner.
It's just Anna and Josiah and I,and they're younger, and we
start...
talking and asking.
They ask questions.
We're having a good time atdinner.
And they start asking questionsabout mommies and daddies and
babies.
And so I'm like, okay, I'llstart answering these questions
and not shy away.
(05:06):
We've always done that with ourkids.
And they start asking how babiescome to be.
And so I'm here at the dinnertable.
Lacey's not even around.
And I'm talking about howmommies and daddies have babies.
And they're old enough to knowbody parts, and they understand
some of this.
(05:27):
But I look back at this moment,I thought, that moment is wild
to think.
I would not have planned havinglike a maybe eight or nine,
maybe 10-year-old Ana was, butjust I would have been six or
seven.
And we're going into specificsabout how babies come to be and
how God designed it.
(05:47):
That just goes to show you, yourmemories aren't often planned
memories.
So those are a couple of goodmemories that come to mind when
I think about parenting in thelast 17 years.
SPEAKER_01 (06:00):
Yeah, those are some good memories.
Could you tell us about somehard times that you've had as a
parent and how you have overcamethem?
SPEAKER_00 (06:12):
I think some of the hardest times are early on in
parenting, and this is oftenbecause it's early on in
marriage as well.
It's two sinners married to oneanother, having little unrefined
sinners thrown into the mix.
And so it becomes kind of astressful and hard time in
(06:34):
ongoing ways.
I mean, what could go wrong withthat?
A bunch of sinners living in thehousehold together that are
selfish and want their own way.
I think the biggest thing toremember is to stay on the same
page as husband and wife.
So Lacey and I fighting to stayon the same page.
If she would say something Idisagreed with, I would wait at
(06:57):
a right time to pull her aside.
We'd talk about it and be like,hey, why did we do that?
Why are we thinking that?
And because you can abdicateresponsibility sometimes as a
father.
If you're busy, maybe you'reworking and you're stressed out
and hectic.
And if you let yourself, you canjust let...
Oh, I'll just let Lacey parent.
She'll be the one that parents.
(07:18):
Well, that's not right.
So I'm in on the decisions, butbeing on the same page with her
is vital, is important.
And so I think there's just ageneral...
not specific, hard time, butbeing on the same page with your
spouse is vital for that.
(07:38):
And that you hash it outtogether, so that way you're not
hashing it out in front of thekids, because they'll pick up on
that and they'll be like, what'sgoing on?
And they're not realizingthey're part of this being the
stress in the marriage, but...
They are contributing.
They're needy.
And if you're not willing towork together on it in the
(07:59):
parenting, it becomes a messpretty quickly.
So we had to work that out overthe first couple of years,
especially parenting.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
I like how you said that two centers together and
then you throw more littlecenters in the mix.
That was good.
If you were going to go back intime...
And tell yourself, before youhad kids, some parenting advice,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_00 (08:26):
Yeah.
And as a father, I'd say youmust lead and be willing to put
aside your downtime and yourneed for hobby time and be
willing to sacrifice.
I would have loved to havelearned that earlier on and not
pushed against it so much.
(08:47):
Confession time...
I'm a big sire at times.
I'm not a big angry, explosivekind of guy, but there's this
underlying murmuring, evensighing, where I'll just be
like...
And I'll do that.
I find myself doing that whenI'm stressed out, and I'll just
keep doing that.
My wife picks up on it, ofcourse, and sometimes it's a
(09:09):
discontentedness in my heart.
And so I'm not, yeah, like Isaid, not a big yeller.
I'm not hollering at the kidsand Lacey, but I often sigh and
am impatient.
And that was often early onbecause I wasn't willing to
sacrifice to the degree I neededto.
I didn't lean into...
(09:31):
God's call to lay down my lifefor my bride and then also to
shepherd and guide my kids well.
I would often fight for, well, Ijust need to do this.
I need to go here.
I need to have some quality metime.
That's a lie.
And it's actually not satisfyingbecause in your heart as a dad,
(09:54):
as a father, as a husband,you're feeling the need to help
your family and lead yourfamily.
And And if you don't lean intothe sacrificial part of that,
you'll quickly becomediscontented and even like kind
of broken inside.
And I found that happening.
And so that's one of thosethings I'd go back and tell
(10:16):
myself, John, yes, you need timeto vent.
Yes, you need time and you needyour own time.
But if something has to give,the Father is the first to give
it.
I shouldn't be required of themother first.
The father's called to lead byGod.
And remember this daily.
(10:36):
So that requires strength thatis not your own.
And so that required me as afather to dig in to the supply
of infinite strength of God's.
It wasn't my own strength daily.
It was turning to him each dayfor my parenting, certainly for
leading my family and leadingLacey.
And then when things come yourway, then what?
(10:59):
Well, then I don't have to relyon my own strength.
I turn to Him and say, God, whatabout this?
Oh, Lord, I could use a day ofrest.
Help me get a good day of rest.
And if that doesn't come,talking to God about that and
certainly talking to Lacey aboutthat too.
So those are some of the thingsI think of when I look back on
parenting and it's only been 17years not a grandparent yet but
(11:21):
someday lord willing that'llcome if he tarries and uh i'll
have that benefit of uh thosegolden years of grandparenting
but the here and now i've had agreat parenting journey so far
and enjoying the teenage yearsi've really enjoyed every stage
of parenting
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
that's really really good helpful advice and i I know
I can benefit from that, andalso all the listeners can
benefit from that.
I want to end on a little bitlighter note.
Do you have a funny or a coupleof your favorite funny parenting
stories?
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
Yes.
I mean, there's so many atdifferent stages.
I mean, I think of an early onone.
Let me ask you a question.
So I like sports.
Are you a baseball fan?
UNKNOWN (12:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (12:09):
I guess, I guess kind of, you know, I like to
root for the Cardinals just tomess
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
with everybody else.
That's right.
That's right.
So yeah, you and I both are notKansas City Royal fans.
Now we like them.
I'm glad they win.
It's fun.
But I'm also a Minnesota Twinsfan.
Okay.
Grew up in Minnesota.
I love the Twins.
So we're bringing Ana to herfirst Twins game.
which she doesn't rememberbecause she was born in May and
(12:37):
we were going in like July orAugust.
This is a few months in.
So we're bringing her and she'swearing her cute little twins
onesie.
And the way you get to the park,at least from where we were, is
an easy way is to take the lightrail.
And so we're on the light rail.
It is jam-packed.
We're young, so we're standing.
(12:58):
There's older people sitting andpeople that just have need to
sit.
And we're standing.
I'm holding on to the rail.
And all of a sudden, Lacey'slike, oh, no, John.
I'm like, what?
What's wrong?
Anna had a blowout.
And so all parents know thatterm, blowout, or you'll learn
it pretty quickly.
(13:18):
That's when the diaper doesn'tcontain...
Everything.
And so it blows out.
And so it was up her back.
It was out the sides.
It was bad.
And we're standing.
What do you do?
Well, this sweet, older couplethey were probably in their
early 80s they oh dear let mehelp you he gets up there's a
(13:42):
kind of we make a littlechanging pad station right there
lacy as a mom she's fullyprepared she has an extra outfit
all of these things and in themoment it was kind of stressful
but when we look back on a funnymoment of parenting like it was
this moment of like hey is thisfirst fun and then what are we
going to do when a curveballcomes our way Speaking of
(14:04):
baseball, so we had a great timeat the game.
I don't remember if the Twinswon or not, but the biggest
memory there was this funnystory of a big old mess and
trying to roll with the punches.
Looking back, that was a reallyfunny memory, especially early
on.
That's
SPEAKER_01 (14:22):
a good, funny memory, and that's a good note
to end on.
On behalf of all the listenersand myself, I want to thank you
for being on the show today.
thank you thank you for joiningme i hope this was an
encouragement to you pleasefollow the show leave a review
and share it with the peoplearound you
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