August 15, 2025 • 22 mins
Listen in on a conversation between First Baptist Church Kearney's Minister of Children, Abraham Leonard, and Pastor Nathan Parbarcus as he shares some of his parenting insights with the world.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
(00:20):
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
Welcome to the show, PastorNathan Pobarkas.
(00:41):
Could you tell us a little bitabout your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
Hello,
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
Abe.
Hey, I am doing really well.
I really am.
And I know Abe, Abraham fromKabul, where he used to, he grew
up and graduated high schoolfrom.
And this is a long overdueconversation that we've had
needed to have because we usedto get together pretty often
(01:11):
when you were in high school.
We meet at the coffee house,talk about sermons, talk about
ministry.
Yeah, just a few months ago.
Hey, it feels like a lifetimeago, man.
Come back.
No, I'm joking.
But like I, it's really, I'm,It's a blessing to be a part of
your podcast.
(01:32):
It's a blessing to see you andto talk ministry, talk about
being a parent.
I by no means am a professionalparent.
I know there's no such thing,but I'm still learning.
And so I've been married for 20plus years to my beautiful wife,
Colleen.
She graduated from Kabul and Imet her in college.
(01:58):
We both went to St.
Louis Christian College, and Igraduated with a preaching
degree.
She got a missions degree.
And then we began professionalministry up in Chicago, and I
served as the youth ministerthere for three and a half
years.
And that's where we had ourfirstborn born, Jeremiah.
(02:22):
He's now 17 years old.
He is...
So like me in so many differentways.
Um, I mean he's very unique butlike some of the good things
that uh that I Have garnered inmy own life.
Uh, he exemplifies and some ofthe bad things.
Unfortunately He has exemplifiedtoo, but he's way smarter than I
(02:45):
ever was at that age and he'llDefinitely surpass me as a grown
man but I uh was in ministry inChicago for three and a half
years in Chicago.
And then we moved to KansasCity, Lee Summit area, and lived
there for six years.
(03:05):
That's where our second childwas born, Hallie.
And Hallie is 12 now.
She is just like her mother,both in stature and She is just
like her mother in her demeanor.
She's quick-witted.
She is funny.
She picks on me all the time,just like her mother.
(03:28):
But she is, yeah, just like hermother.
And then we moved to Kabul,southern Missouri, about four
hours from Kansas City.
Let's see, was that 2013?
Yeah.
We have been serving as youthminister there.
My position has changed since.
(03:49):
I'm an associate, so I overseeeducation as well.
But we got into foster care.
I felt like God was leading usthat way.
And we were able to foster acouple of kids, but we were able
to adopt one of them.
And her name is Leah.
And she is amazing.
So different than our other twokids in all the right ways.
(04:13):
And she has high energy.
She is so smart.
She's absolutely wonderful.
So my family's doing great, Abe.
We actually had a chance toserve our local high school and
I guess the whole schooldistrict here at our church just
(04:34):
a few moments ago.
We served them lunch.
They have in-teacher trainingdays.
And so We were able to serve ourcommunity and our local school
district there.
And so, yeah, ministry's goingwell.
Family's going well.
All things are good, man.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
That's great.
That's great.
So you talked about Jeremiah andHallie and Leah.
Could you tell us about maybesome good parenting memories
that you've had with them?
Different people on the showhave said, well, I have so many,
it's hard to choose.
But maybe could you pick out oneor a couple of your favorite
parenting ministries with yourchildren?
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
Yeah, for sure.
I thought of some.
And again, there's a lot.
How do you highlight just a few?
But I'm going to try to.
Like my son, again, 17.
I remember the first time I gotto see him, I was just bursting
with pride.
He was the firstborn.
He was a boy.
(05:29):
He was, man, he was, it waswonderful to be a first-time
parent.
And then, like, Seeing him growup has been wonderful.
The 13th birthday sort of standsout to me because we like to do
something for when our kids turn13 to do a special trip with a
parent or with the family.
(05:50):
And so Jeremiah and I went toDisney World to see all the Star
Wars things.
And so it was really cool tohave that moment with Jeremiah.
Just me and him for four or fivedays or three or four days there
in Orlando.
But I also, for Jeremiah, I gotto see him preach on a Sunday
(06:10):
morning for Youth Sunday.
That was a huge blessing to me.
And I was encouraged by hisword.
And then just recently, I got toteach him how to drive.
And so that was like nervous.
I was nervous.
He was nervous.
We try not to yell.
I try to play it cool.
(06:31):
But like there was moments whenit was hard to hold my tongue.
SPEAKER_00 (06:36):
I remember when my dad taught me how to drive, and
there was moments when hecouldn't hold his tongue as
well.
Us dads, we like to pump
SPEAKER_01 (06:44):
the brake like we're able to do it.
And obviously, I mean, he wasfine.
We were fine.
Everything was okay, but it wasscary.
For my second child, I remembergasping the first time I got to
see her.
Just her beauty.
I was just in awe.
(07:06):
Just so beautiful.
And then there's lots of momentsthat I've had with Hallie.
She went through a...
She's...
She went through a phase, Iguess, where every Sunday
morning I'm practicing formorning worship and she would be
running down the aisle in herdress, her Sunday best, and
(07:29):
she'd run up on the stage whileI'm playing guitar and she would
give me a big hug and I leanover and she'd give me a kiss.
And that went on for years, hasgone on for years.
which is a huge blessing.
And then recently I taught herhow to play drums.
And so she's playing with theyouth house band at our local
church.
So that's really, really cool.
(07:51):
Really cool.
And then for Leah, her, heradoption day and that, um, like
there was a lot of highs andlows with adopting Leah, uh,
going through the whole processof foster care more than just
this podcast could, um, couldcontain.
But just to be able to celebrateevery year her adoption and
(08:14):
celebrate her and her story,that's something we look forward
to every July.
And then I put her to bed everynight, me and her, so we reread
a chapter from a chapter bookand we say her memory verses.
She is just full of energy, likeI said, but we like to go
fishing and so one of her thingsthat she likes to do is when we
(08:37):
get um carve up the fish to eatshe likes to take the dead
carcass and throw it at me andshe just thinks that's funny and
that's really weird and randombut that's that's what we do
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
yeah well that's awesome um sounds like you've
had a lot of sweet memoriessweet memories with all your
kids um now that we talked aboutsome good memories that you've
had with your kids could youtell us about maybe some hard
times that you've gone throughas a parent and how you've
overcame those hard times
SPEAKER_01 (09:07):
Well, so I talked to my wife because I was like, I
don't know how to answer thisone.
I mean, in the grand scheme ofthings, Abe, like we have a
pretty good, like our family hasnever gone through financial
hardship.
I mean, there's been times thatit's been tight, but God has
always provided, familiesprovided, churches always
(09:29):
provided for us.
I mean, our kids are healthy.
I know that's, That can be a bighurdle for a lot of families
dealing with chronic illness ora death in the family.
And we haven't had that.
So for us, difficult moments orhard times, it's basically the
(09:52):
daily grind.
And we're no different than anyother parent.
But it's that daily commitmentto being the best parent, the
best husband, the best Christfollower I can be on a daily
basis.
basis like there's no momentwhere I can just check out from
being a parent like I'm on 24-7so that I mean hard times I
(10:16):
don't I don't think there is toomany like when there is
difficult moments it's usuallyby our own doing like we over
schedule or we are too busy andwe over commit and we just we do
it to ourselves and likeseriously like we're we're in a
good shape and we've been veryblessed as a family through good
(10:40):
times and bad, but our family'sbeen, it's that daily
commitment, I guess, is reallythe hardest thing for us as a
family of being faithful to thecommitments we've made as a
family and as a Christ follower.
SPEAKER_00 (10:56):
Yeah, that's good.
I guess that would kind ofdescribe some of my hardest
moments is that There are thingsthat I brought on myself, mostly
commitments, over committing tothings.
And so I like how you said that.
I think that could be the casefor a lot of parents that just
have a semi-normal kind of go atthings.
(11:21):
They don't have a lot of crazychronic illnesses or things, but
it's just waking up and beingnormal.
the person that you're supposedto be.
So that's really good that youmentioned that.
Yeah.
Just to add on to
SPEAKER_01 (11:34):
something, I guess I'm still learning this lesson
is learning how to say no.
Again, I'm not very good at it.
I love serving both in aprofessional manner here at the
church, but also just as aperson, I like to help people.
So to say no is, is really hardfor me.
(11:58):
It's hard for our family, butlike we have to allow space to
minister to our wife.
We have to allow space tominister to our kids.
And like cliche for sure, butlike you spell love, T-I-M-E,
like that time is what the bestgift we can give to our family.
(12:20):
And so saying no is hugelyimportant.
SPEAKER_00 (12:24):
Yeah.
Well, if you were going to goback in time to before Jeremiah
came into the world, and youwere going to give yourself
parenting advice, what would itbe?
SPEAKER_01 (12:36):
All right, I got a whole bunch.
Again, still learning theselessons.
They're convicting to me, mostlybecause I struggle with them,
and...
but I know them to be true.
I see them in scripture.
I see them played out inpractical life.
(12:57):
I've lived through some of theseadvices.
And so this is hopefully from aparent that's been through some
stuff that can hopefullyencourage others.
So here's my first one.
You want to be a good parent?
Marry well.
Seriously, like my wife isamazing and she is, a partner,
(13:21):
not just in ministry for my ownlife or here at the church, but
we co-parent.
Like, it's not just, hey, I havemy work and your work is at
home.
By no means is that the case.
We are parents together.
And so being united as a couplehaving the same priorities as a
(13:47):
husband and wife and things thatwe're going to value and want to
make sure our kids value.
You got to be yoked with aspouse who values the same
things that you do.
So I've made very well.
Colleen's amazing.
The things that she's good at,she's really good at.
(14:10):
And there's things that, likehumans, we are, there's things
that she has weaknesses, butit's amazing how God sort of
aligns her weaknesses are sortof my strengths and vice versa.
And so we are definitely a goodbalance as a group of, as a
(14:30):
parents for our kids.
So marry well, that's hugelyimportant.
Second thing, and I alluded tothis earlier, is the fact that
you need to be present.
I work at the church.
I put in eight to four, andsometimes the days are shorter.
(14:50):
Some days are very long.
It's just sort of an eclecticweek's work schedule.
But when I come home, I don'tcheck out.
I can't check out.
That's when the work begins.
And I'm not trying to make itsound like it's all work and no
fun by no means my kids areamazing and they bring me so
(15:13):
much joy
SPEAKER_00 (15:14):
yeah
SPEAKER_01 (15:15):
but i have to be present i can't just flip open
the phone and play clash ofclans i can't just um i check
out i have to be present one ofthe things that our family does
together and it's not originalto our family at all but we we
try to eat dinner together Andwe don't eat in the living room
(15:39):
and watch TV.
We sit down at the table.
And sometimes it's just frozenpizza.
Sometimes it's a big, nice,fancy dinner.
But we try to do it together.
And that takes beingintentional.
And I think that's reallycritical, Abe, is that part of
just being a good parent isknowing the outcome that you
(16:01):
want your children to have andthen taking the steps daily to
striving to meet that end.
I have a whole bunch more, butwhat are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (16:14):
Yeah, I mean, you mentioned Clash of Clans, and
I've recently been introduced tothat and have started that.
That's what you think, Abe?
No, I'm just messing with you.
I have started playing someClash of Clans, though.
No, that was good.
Again, you know, just thatyou've got to wake up and you've
(16:38):
got to be the parent that...
that you're supposed to bethat's really helpful.
You talked about how that can bea challenge earlier, and you
talked about how that is onething that you've just been
trying to do is to wake up everyday and to be present, to be
there for your kids and tojust...
(17:02):
to just parent.
And I think that that's somevery practical advice that is
helpful for me as I think aboutpossibly becoming a parent in
the future and for the peoplethat are listening to this
episode.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Well, I got a couple more.
I want to make sure because Iwant to make sure you hear this,
Abraham.
To me, the moments I'm closestto my kids that We sit down at
their beds and I think it's goodand healthy to sometimes, not
(17:37):
sometimes, but to admit yourfaults to your kids because that
shows them that you're not aperfect person.
I'm not talking about confessingall your sins to your kids, but
if you've made a mistake as aparent, like it is healthy and
good to show that you as anadult make mistakes as well.
So sometimes just beingvulnerable and not putting the
(18:01):
Superman suit on for your kidsand just saying, Hey, like I
struggle with this as well.
And this is what I'm workingthrough.
Um, lastly, uh, maybe I, I, Iburied the lead a little bit
here, but I think mostimportantly, as parents, we have
(18:23):
to be the Christ follower thatyou want your children to be.
Like if we, Like as a Christianparent, I want my kids to have a
saving faith and to know Christand to live for him.
And the best way to encouragethat is to exemplify that.
(18:44):
And so like if you want yourchildren to love God's word,
read the Bible to them.
Read the Bible yourself, havinga daily devotion.
I remember my parents, I'd walkin and I'd see my mom read the
Bible, and I thought, oh, why isshe doing up so early?
But that made an impression, herreading her Bible.
(19:07):
If you want your kids to valueprayer and communicating with
God, then pray with them.
Be the Christ follower you wantyour kids to be.
They will pick it up more thanyou realize.
At least that's my hope.
Yeah, that's some advice I got.
SPEAKER_00 (19:28):
Yeah, that's awesome.
And that's for being not only adisciple maker of your children,
but being a disciple maker,period, is being followable,
being someone that someone elsecan follow.
And so I really think that washelpful.
(19:49):
As we draw this conversationtogether, to a close.
I want to end on a funnier note.
I know that we've had some goodbanter thus far, but I want to
end on a funnier note.
Could you tell us maybe one or acouple of your favorite funny
parenting stories?
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Well, like every family, we have our family
stories, and this one's ofJeremiah.
He was a young kid.
We were living in Kansas City atthe time before Hallie was born.
And just, we got...
We got done with our adult smallgroup, and we were meeting at a
house.
And Jeremiah at the time, he'sabout four years old.
(20:30):
He's in the back seat in the carseat.
He's talking just a little bit.
He was a slow talker early inlife.
And so me and Colleen were inthe front seat, and we're
driving home from our smallgroup time.
And Jeremiah from the back seat,little four-year-old boy, says,
dork.
(20:50):
And we ignore it.
But then he kept saying it overand over again.
Dork.
And Colleen, being the goodparent she's trying to be, she
says, hey, Jeremiah, we don'tcall people dorks.
And Jeremiah kept saying, dork.
And my wife, she's so patient,but she wasn't having it.
(21:13):
She was going into this.
dialogue, monologue of, hey,Jeremiah, we don't call people
names.
That's not nice.
And he kept saying, dork, dork.
And she's getting upset.
She's almost to the point whereshe's going to ask me to pull
over so she can spank ouroldest.
And he keeps saying, dork.
(21:34):
And finally, just littleJeremiah, four-year-old voice
peeping out from the back of thecar says, mama, it's dork
outside.
And And obviously he's sayingdark, not dork.
And we felt horrible that wemisunderstood him.
(21:54):
And we thought he was calling usa dork, but really he was just
saying that, hey, it's darkoutside.
And so just a huge parent fail.
And we have others, but man,that one jumps
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
out to me.
Yeah, that's good.
Well, on behalf of all thelisteners and myself, I want to
say thank you for being able tobe on the show today.
Thank you for joining me.
I hope this was an encouragementto you.
Please follow the show, leave areview, and share it with the
people around you.
Hello, welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
(00:20):
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
Welcome to the show, PastorNathan Pobarkas.
(00:41):
Could you tell us a little bitabout your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
Hello,
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
Abe.
Hey, I am doing really well.
I really am.
And I know Abe, Abraham fromKabul, where he used to, he grew
up and graduated high schoolfrom.
And this is a long overdueconversation that we've had
needed to have because we usedto get together pretty often
(01:11):
when you were in high school.
We meet at the coffee house,talk about sermons, talk about
ministry.
Yeah, just a few months ago.
Hey, it feels like a lifetimeago, man.
Come back.
No, I'm joking.
But like I, it's really, I'm,It's a blessing to be a part of
your podcast.
(01:32):
It's a blessing to see you andto talk ministry, talk about
being a parent.
I by no means am a professionalparent.
I know there's no such thing,but I'm still learning.
And so I've been married for 20plus years to my beautiful wife,
Colleen.
She graduated from Kabul and Imet her in college.
(01:58):
We both went to St.
Louis Christian College, and Igraduated with a preaching
degree.
She got a missions degree.
And then we began professionalministry up in Chicago, and I
served as the youth ministerthere for three and a half
years.
And that's where we had ourfirstborn born, Jeremiah.
(02:22):
He's now 17 years old.
He is...
So like me in so many differentways.
Um, I mean he's very unique butlike some of the good things
that uh that I Have garnered inmy own life.
Uh, he exemplifies and some ofthe bad things.
Unfortunately He has exemplifiedtoo, but he's way smarter than I
(02:45):
ever was at that age and he'llDefinitely surpass me as a grown
man but I uh was in ministry inChicago for three and a half
years in Chicago.
And then we moved to KansasCity, Lee Summit area, and lived
there for six years.
(03:05):
That's where our second childwas born, Hallie.
And Hallie is 12 now.
She is just like her mother,both in stature and She is just
like her mother in her demeanor.
She's quick-witted.
She is funny.
She picks on me all the time,just like her mother.
(03:28):
But she is, yeah, just like hermother.
And then we moved to Kabul,southern Missouri, about four
hours from Kansas City.
Let's see, was that 2013?
Yeah.
We have been serving as youthminister there.
My position has changed since.
(03:49):
I'm an associate, so I overseeeducation as well.
But we got into foster care.
I felt like God was leading usthat way.
And we were able to foster acouple of kids, but we were able
to adopt one of them.
And her name is Leah.
And she is amazing.
So different than our other twokids in all the right ways.
(04:13):
And she has high energy.
She is so smart.
She's absolutely wonderful.
So my family's doing great, Abe.
We actually had a chance toserve our local high school and
I guess the whole schooldistrict here at our church just
(04:34):
a few moments ago.
We served them lunch.
They have in-teacher trainingdays.
And so We were able to serve ourcommunity and our local school
district there.
And so, yeah, ministry's goingwell.
Family's going well.
All things are good, man.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
That's great.
That's great.
So you talked about Jeremiah andHallie and Leah.
Could you tell us about maybesome good parenting memories
that you've had with them?
Different people on the showhave said, well, I have so many,
it's hard to choose.
But maybe could you pick out oneor a couple of your favorite
parenting ministries with yourchildren?
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
Yeah, for sure.
I thought of some.
And again, there's a lot.
How do you highlight just a few?
But I'm going to try to.
Like my son, again, 17.
I remember the first time I gotto see him, I was just bursting
with pride.
He was the firstborn.
He was a boy.
(05:29):
He was, man, he was, it waswonderful to be a first-time
parent.
And then, like, Seeing him growup has been wonderful.
The 13th birthday sort of standsout to me because we like to do
something for when our kids turn13 to do a special trip with a
parent or with the family.
(05:50):
And so Jeremiah and I went toDisney World to see all the Star
Wars things.
And so it was really cool tohave that moment with Jeremiah.
Just me and him for four or fivedays or three or four days there
in Orlando.
But I also, for Jeremiah, I gotto see him preach on a Sunday
(06:10):
morning for Youth Sunday.
That was a huge blessing to me.
And I was encouraged by hisword.
And then just recently, I got toteach him how to drive.
And so that was like nervous.
I was nervous.
He was nervous.
We try not to yell.
I try to play it cool.
(06:31):
But like there was moments whenit was hard to hold my tongue.
SPEAKER_00 (06:36):
I remember when my dad taught me how to drive, and
there was moments when hecouldn't hold his tongue as
well.
Us dads, we like to pump
SPEAKER_01 (06:44):
the brake like we're able to do it.
And obviously, I mean, he wasfine.
We were fine.
Everything was okay, but it wasscary.
For my second child, I remembergasping the first time I got to
see her.
Just her beauty.
I was just in awe.
(07:06):
Just so beautiful.
And then there's lots of momentsthat I've had with Hallie.
She went through a...
She's...
She went through a phase, Iguess, where every Sunday
morning I'm practicing formorning worship and she would be
running down the aisle in herdress, her Sunday best, and
(07:29):
she'd run up on the stage whileI'm playing guitar and she would
give me a big hug and I leanover and she'd give me a kiss.
And that went on for years, hasgone on for years.
which is a huge blessing.
And then recently I taught herhow to play drums.
And so she's playing with theyouth house band at our local
church.
So that's really, really cool.
(07:51):
Really cool.
And then for Leah, her, heradoption day and that, um, like
there was a lot of highs andlows with adopting Leah, uh,
going through the whole processof foster care more than just
this podcast could, um, couldcontain.
But just to be able to celebrateevery year her adoption and
(08:14):
celebrate her and her story,that's something we look forward
to every July.
And then I put her to bed everynight, me and her, so we reread
a chapter from a chapter bookand we say her memory verses.
She is just full of energy, likeI said, but we like to go
fishing and so one of her thingsthat she likes to do is when we
(08:37):
get um carve up the fish to eatshe likes to take the dead
carcass and throw it at me andshe just thinks that's funny and
that's really weird and randombut that's that's what we do
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
yeah well that's awesome um sounds like you've
had a lot of sweet memoriessweet memories with all your
kids um now that we talked aboutsome good memories that you've
had with your kids could youtell us about maybe some hard
times that you've gone throughas a parent and how you've
overcame those hard times
SPEAKER_01 (09:07):
Well, so I talked to my wife because I was like, I
don't know how to answer thisone.
I mean, in the grand scheme ofthings, Abe, like we have a
pretty good, like our family hasnever gone through financial
hardship.
I mean, there's been times thatit's been tight, but God has
always provided, familiesprovided, churches always
(09:29):
provided for us.
I mean, our kids are healthy.
I know that's, That can be a bighurdle for a lot of families
dealing with chronic illness ora death in the family.
And we haven't had that.
So for us, difficult moments orhard times, it's basically the
(09:52):
daily grind.
And we're no different than anyother parent.
But it's that daily commitmentto being the best parent, the
best husband, the best Christfollower I can be on a daily
basis.
basis like there's no momentwhere I can just check out from
being a parent like I'm on 24-7so that I mean hard times I
(10:16):
don't I don't think there is toomany like when there is
difficult moments it's usuallyby our own doing like we over
schedule or we are too busy andwe over commit and we just we do
it to ourselves and likeseriously like we're we're in a
good shape and we've been veryblessed as a family through good
(10:40):
times and bad, but our family'sbeen, it's that daily
commitment, I guess, is reallythe hardest thing for us as a
family of being faithful to thecommitments we've made as a
family and as a Christ follower.
SPEAKER_00 (10:56):
Yeah, that's good.
I guess that would kind ofdescribe some of my hardest
moments is that There are thingsthat I brought on myself, mostly
commitments, over committing tothings.
And so I like how you said that.
I think that could be the casefor a lot of parents that just
have a semi-normal kind of go atthings.
(11:21):
They don't have a lot of crazychronic illnesses or things, but
it's just waking up and beingnormal.
the person that you're supposedto be.
So that's really good that youmentioned that.
Yeah.
Just to add on to
SPEAKER_01 (11:34):
something, I guess I'm still learning this lesson
is learning how to say no.
Again, I'm not very good at it.
I love serving both in aprofessional manner here at the
church, but also just as aperson, I like to help people.
So to say no is, is really hardfor me.
(11:58):
It's hard for our family, butlike we have to allow space to
minister to our wife.
We have to allow space tominister to our kids.
And like cliche for sure, butlike you spell love, T-I-M-E,
like that time is what the bestgift we can give to our family.
(12:20):
And so saying no is hugelyimportant.
SPEAKER_00 (12:24):
Yeah.
Well, if you were going to goback in time to before Jeremiah
came into the world, and youwere going to give yourself
parenting advice, what would itbe?
SPEAKER_01 (12:36):
All right, I got a whole bunch.
Again, still learning theselessons.
They're convicting to me, mostlybecause I struggle with them,
and...
but I know them to be true.
I see them in scripture.
I see them played out inpractical life.
(12:57):
I've lived through some of theseadvices.
And so this is hopefully from aparent that's been through some
stuff that can hopefullyencourage others.
So here's my first one.
You want to be a good parent?
Marry well.
Seriously, like my wife isamazing and she is, a partner,
(13:21):
not just in ministry for my ownlife or here at the church, but
we co-parent.
Like, it's not just, hey, I havemy work and your work is at
home.
By no means is that the case.
We are parents together.
And so being united as a couplehaving the same priorities as a
(13:47):
husband and wife and things thatwe're going to value and want to
make sure our kids value.
You got to be yoked with aspouse who values the same
things that you do.
So I've made very well.
Colleen's amazing.
The things that she's good at,she's really good at.
(14:10):
And there's things that, likehumans, we are, there's things
that she has weaknesses, butit's amazing how God sort of
aligns her weaknesses are sortof my strengths and vice versa.
And so we are definitely a goodbalance as a group of, as a
(14:30):
parents for our kids.
So marry well, that's hugelyimportant.
Second thing, and I alluded tothis earlier, is the fact that
you need to be present.
I work at the church.
I put in eight to four, andsometimes the days are shorter.
(14:50):
Some days are very long.
It's just sort of an eclecticweek's work schedule.
But when I come home, I don'tcheck out.
I can't check out.
That's when the work begins.
And I'm not trying to make itsound like it's all work and no
fun by no means my kids areamazing and they bring me so
(15:13):
much joy
SPEAKER_00 (15:14):
yeah
SPEAKER_01 (15:15):
but i have to be present i can't just flip open
the phone and play clash ofclans i can't just um i check
out i have to be present one ofthe things that our family does
together and it's not originalto our family at all but we we
try to eat dinner together Andwe don't eat in the living room
(15:39):
and watch TV.
We sit down at the table.
And sometimes it's just frozenpizza.
Sometimes it's a big, nice,fancy dinner.
But we try to do it together.
And that takes beingintentional.
And I think that's reallycritical, Abe, is that part of
just being a good parent isknowing the outcome that you
(16:01):
want your children to have andthen taking the steps daily to
striving to meet that end.
I have a whole bunch more, butwhat are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (16:14):
Yeah, I mean, you mentioned Clash of Clans, and
I've recently been introduced tothat and have started that.
That's what you think, Abe?
No, I'm just messing with you.
I have started playing someClash of Clans, though.
No, that was good.
Again, you know, just thatyou've got to wake up and you've
(16:38):
got to be the parent that...
that you're supposed to bethat's really helpful.
You talked about how that can bea challenge earlier, and you
talked about how that is onething that you've just been
trying to do is to wake up everyday and to be present, to be
there for your kids and tojust...
(17:02):
to just parent.
And I think that that's somevery practical advice that is
helpful for me as I think aboutpossibly becoming a parent in
the future and for the peoplethat are listening to this
episode.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Well, I got a couple more.
I want to make sure because Iwant to make sure you hear this,
Abraham.
To me, the moments I'm closestto my kids that We sit down at
their beds and I think it's goodand healthy to sometimes, not
(17:37):
sometimes, but to admit yourfaults to your kids because that
shows them that you're not aperfect person.
I'm not talking about confessingall your sins to your kids, but
if you've made a mistake as aparent, like it is healthy and
good to show that you as anadult make mistakes as well.
So sometimes just beingvulnerable and not putting the
(18:01):
Superman suit on for your kidsand just saying, Hey, like I
struggle with this as well.
And this is what I'm workingthrough.
Um, lastly, uh, maybe I, I, Iburied the lead a little bit
here, but I think mostimportantly, as parents, we have
(18:23):
to be the Christ follower thatyou want your children to be.
Like if we, Like as a Christianparent, I want my kids to have a
saving faith and to know Christand to live for him.
And the best way to encouragethat is to exemplify that.
(18:44):
And so like if you want yourchildren to love God's word,
read the Bible to them.
Read the Bible yourself, havinga daily devotion.
I remember my parents, I'd walkin and I'd see my mom read the
Bible, and I thought, oh, why isshe doing up so early?
But that made an impression, herreading her Bible.
(19:07):
If you want your kids to valueprayer and communicating with
God, then pray with them.
Be the Christ follower you wantyour kids to be.
They will pick it up more thanyou realize.
At least that's my hope.
Yeah, that's some advice I got.
SPEAKER_00 (19:28):
Yeah, that's awesome.
And that's for being not only adisciple maker of your children,
but being a disciple maker,period, is being followable,
being someone that someone elsecan follow.
And so I really think that washelpful.
(19:49):
As we draw this conversationtogether, to a close.
I want to end on a funnier note.
I know that we've had some goodbanter thus far, but I want to
end on a funnier note.
Could you tell us maybe one or acouple of your favorite funny
parenting stories?
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Well, like every family, we have our family
stories, and this one's ofJeremiah.
He was a young kid.
We were living in Kansas City atthe time before Hallie was born.
And just, we got...
We got done with our adult smallgroup, and we were meeting at a
house.
And Jeremiah at the time, he'sabout four years old.
(20:30):
He's in the back seat in the carseat.
He's talking just a little bit.
He was a slow talker early inlife.
And so me and Colleen were inthe front seat, and we're
driving home from our smallgroup time.
And Jeremiah from the back seat,little four-year-old boy, says,
dork.
(20:50):
And we ignore it.
But then he kept saying it overand over again.
Dork.
And Colleen, being the goodparent she's trying to be, she
says, hey, Jeremiah, we don'tcall people dorks.
And Jeremiah kept saying, dork.
And my wife, she's so patient,but she wasn't having it.
(21:13):
She was going into this.
dialogue, monologue of, hey,Jeremiah, we don't call people
names.
That's not nice.
And he kept saying, dork, dork.
And she's getting upset.
She's almost to the point whereshe's going to ask me to pull
over so she can spank ouroldest.
And he keeps saying, dork.
(21:34):
And finally, just littleJeremiah, four-year-old voice
peeping out from the back of thecar says, mama, it's dork
outside.
And And obviously he's sayingdark, not dork.
And we felt horrible that wemisunderstood him.
(21:54):
And we thought he was calling usa dork, but really he was just
saying that, hey, it's darkoutside.
And so just a huge parent fail.
And we have others, but man,that one jumps
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
out to me.
Yeah, that's good.
Well, on behalf of all thelisteners and myself, I want to
say thank you for being able tobe on the show today.
Thank you for joining me.
I hope this was an encouragementto you.
Please follow the show, leave areview, and share it with the
people around you.
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