August 22, 2025 • 21 mins
Listen in as Pastor Travis Black shares his helpful parenting insights from the trenches. He shares his recent and ongoing experiences as a parent and how he continually fights the challenges parenting poses.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
(00:20):
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
Welcome to the show, PastorTravis Black.
How are you doing?
(00:41):
I'm doing well.
Well, could you tell us a littlebit about your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
SPEAKER_01 (00:47):
Sure.
Well, you know a lot of this,but for the sake of people who
don't know me, yeah, TravisBlack, my family.
I got my wife, Clara.
We've been married for 10 yearsnow, and we've got four
daughters.
I'll give you their nicknames.
It's So we're right in the thickof it at the moment.
(01:11):
My title is Associate Pastor forWorship and Young Adults here at
Kearney.
Ministry-wise, I've been hereseven years, and in that time
we've had all four girls and thechurch is doing really well.
It's a pleasure to serve herewith the staff that we serve
with.
And yeah, my main area ofresponsibility is worship
ministries, music, serviceplanning, and everything that
(01:32):
goes along with that.
But then secondarily, I'vestarted a Sunday school class
for young adults, taught thatclass for a while, taught a
different class for youngadults, and now, last few years,
I've actually been focused onsenior adult ministry and
helping to stabilize that andmake sure that they have
everything that they need.
So, yeah, main area, worshipministries, and then just
(01:54):
everything else.
SPEAKER_00 (01:57):
Well, that is great, and I enjoy serving alongside of
you for the few months that I'vegot to do so.
Could you tell us just start bytelling us a good parenting
memory, maybe a couple of goodparenting memories that you
have.
Yeah.
So actually, my
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
wife and I were in the Chick-fil-A line last night,
and I said, oh, I need help.
Can you help me answer thesequestions real quick?
So I got my cheat sheet herefrom my wife and my conversation
yesterday.
So she was helping me jog mymemory a little bit.
And yeah, we've done familyworship for years, kind of
spotty sometimes.
We're really good about itsometimes and not as good about
(02:35):
it at other times.
But for the most part, we try tomaintain just a very brief
family worship after dinner.
A lot of times, now that they'rereally doing homeschool, a lot
of their Bible and familyworship type stuff happens
during the day.
But after dinner, a lot of timeswe'll sing a song, we'll read a
passage of scripture, and we'llpray.
Just a few small things.
It takes like seven minutes.
(02:56):
My girls are little, and that'sabout as long as their attention
spans are when it comes to thosekind of things.
So family worship has beenreally, really a joy.
Della, my oldest, is seven now,but when she was really little,
we started this when it was justthe three of us, just my wife,
me, and Della.
And for some reason, she reallylatched onto the song, I'll Fly
Away, which depending on yourtheology, you may not actually
(03:18):
believe in the literal sense,which is a little funny.
But she loved that song.
And for some reason, she reallyattached herself to it.
And we sang that just aboutevery night where I would drum
on the table to give us a littlebit of a beat.
And I got to the point where wewould sing the chorus a second
time, like double time, like abluegrassy hoedown where you do
(03:41):
the offbeat thing.
Anyway, if you're not amusician, that means nothing to
you.
But one of my favorite memoriesis we'd sing the song, we'd get
all the way through it likenormal, and then we'd stop for a
second and she'd look at us andshe'd say, double time?
Because she couldn't say doubletime.
I loved that so much.
Double time, she'd say.
Oh man, growing up with herthough, or her growing up, she
(04:04):
had a few of those.
She also loved this show calledSuper Why, and it's all about
reading.
These superheroes read thingsand read stories and that kind
of thing.
Well, she couldn't say SuperWhy, and the song, the theme
song goes, Super Why, Super Why.
Well, I hear that over and overagain throughout the day, and
she loved it, and she would say,Hippu Da.
(04:24):
That was how she pronouncedSuper Why.
So, I'd walk in and sing, HippuDa, Hippu Da, and she thought
that was hilarious.
And even to this day, because ofhow Della pronounced it, we We
almost can't say the word, I gotto get it right, spaghetti
correctly.
Because for her entire life,she's called it scabetti.
And now I have a really hardtime when I'm talking to regular
(04:46):
adults not calling spaghettiscabetti.
And that's a real problem forme.
But that's also, I love thatmemory.
You said one or two, but I'llgive you one more.
This is the big one.
In February of this year, Idelivered...
My fourth child, and most of thepeople in our church know that
because Pastor Ken announced iton a Sunday, and now everybody
calls me Dr.
Black, which is crazy.
(05:08):
I am not.
I am not a doctor in any sense.
No, that's a long story, andI'll spare you the details, but
it was, my goodness, just a...
a wild experience, and it was awhirlwind, and help was on the
way.
It wasn't the plan.
I wasn't the planned person tobe there, just me and my wife
(05:28):
welcoming our fourth girl intothe world, but I'm the one.
I don't know about talent, but Ihappened to be there at the...
I guess you could say the righttime.
No, help was about 10 minutesaway.
They were coming, and yeah, itUh, Minty just came way faster
than we thought she would.
So I ended up catching her andI'm the first human being in the
(05:51):
world who saw her little face,um, this side of the womb.
And yeah, that was a, that was aspecial experience.
And I think I'll have a, just aspecial memory and a special
bond with my fourth daughter,um, just because of that.
UNKNOWN (06:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:05):
Yeah, that's really cool, and I like how you
mentioned singing with yourgirls.
I enjoyed singing with my familygrowing up, and I remember as we
grew older, we were able to playinstruments along, and we'd have
little family worship sessionsin the living room, and I always
(06:26):
enjoy doing
SPEAKER_01 (06:27):
that.
I love the idea of that.
I mean, I'm about to start mydaughter on piano lessons, and
I'm going to be her teacher.
We'll see how much she likesthat, but...
I just love the idea of justencouraging them to just grow
musically.
Of course, grow in the Lord.
Our biggest prayer for our girlsis that they'll be saved.
But yeah, I just, there'ssomething about family music
(06:49):
that's special.
So we'll enjoy that too.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
Yeah.
Well, now that we talked aboutsome of your good parenting
memories that you've had, couldyou tell us about some hard
times that you've had as aparent and how you've overcame
those hard times?
SPEAKER_01 (07:02):
Yeah, so hard times, I mean, some things are ongoing.
For example, a ministry family,a lot of pastoral families, or
even military families, peoplewho move away for a calling or
for whatever else, you guys willunderstand this, but just not
having a family real close by,that's really hard.
My wife grew up in Hannibal,Missouri, which is across the
(07:24):
state.
It's only about a three-hourdrive, but three hours is long
enough that we just don't makeit over there all the time.
A couple times a year, and hermom's not close.
My wife and her mom are on thephone with each other just about
every single day, and it's hardfor her, especially, being home
with the girls, just not havingclose family support.
(07:47):
Now, that's not to say that ourchurch family doesn't support
us.
We've got some just incredible,incredible people here who have
offered and offered and offeredto take some of the burden off
of Clara and, you know, take thegirls for some time and that
kind of thing.
And I'm so grateful for that.
It's never quite the same ashaving your mom right there
though.
And that's something that shereally misses.
(08:07):
It's really hard for her, whichmakes it really hard for all of
us to just not have familyclose.
But, you know, that's just partof part of being a ministry
family sometimes is the Lordcalls you to a certain place and
your family may or may not beright there with you.
So that's hard.
It's not something we'veovercome necessarily.
It's something we kind of haveups and downs with as far as
like how it makes us feel.
(08:29):
Yeah.
But we just try to be faithfulwhere we are and and do the best
we can with the people who arehere and helping us.
And yeah, we have some harddays, but a lot of times we get
breaks from people who are justkind enough to take the girls
for a little while.
So that's a hard thing.
But a couple other things, youknow, my wife, after we had a
(08:50):
couple of children, she had amiscarriage and that was really
hard for us both to deal with.
That'll be really raw for somepeople to hear because
miscarriage is a lot more commonthan people talk about.
It's kind of a hard subject totalk about.
And something my wife had to getthrough was just the feeling of
shame that goes with that.
(09:11):
And it's not...
Of course, it's not her fault.
It's not.
But there's just somedeep-seated, deep-rooted shame
that the enemy just throws at awoman who's had a miscarriage.
Not every single woman who's hada miscarriage, but that is a
common thread.
When we've been...
open about that with people andwe hear other people say that
that is just a common threadthrough the story is that people
(09:34):
feel shame about that and umBoy, it's hard to talk about for
a lot of people.
So we've come to the point wherewe're open about that.
And, you know, it was a reallyhard time.
And there was guilt that camealong with that.
But I think my wife has done areally good job of overcoming
that through prayer, throughtalking about it with other
(09:54):
people and other people who haveexperienced the same thing.
Miscarriage is awful.
It's a tragic, tragic thing.
But just recognizing that she'snot alone.
and that it's not her fault.
And really coming to grips withthat, that was really helpful.
And then, yeah, I mean, oneother thing, our second born,
her name's Lissy, she's had amedical journey.
Nothing that's likelife-altering for her in a big
(10:18):
way, but she was diagnosed withepilepsy as a kid.
She had a few seizures.
And that's, you know, fourmonths old, she had her first
seizure.
I think it was four months old.
And that was really hard, like atraditional sort of grand mal
seizure.
She had...
six to eight seizures, whichthat's six or eight more than we
ever wanted one of our daughtersto have.
(10:39):
Diagnosed with epilepsy, wespent a lot of time in the
hospitals going through testsand that kind of thing.
Eventually, after multipletests, we got a genetic test
back and she was diagnosed withsomething called 22Q.
It's called DeGeorge syndrome.
It's got a couple differentnames, but basically a piece of
her 22nd chromosome is missing.
(10:59):
The information's just notthere.
22Q affects what they callmidline structures.
So if you think about your bodyfrom, you know, nose down to
belly button, like everythingright in the center of you can
be affected by 22Q.
So for her, what that means is,and there's a broad, broad
spectrum of symptoms that can goalong with 22Q.
(11:22):
So they just kind of do a bunchof individual tests to say, yep,
her eyes are good.
Yep, her nose is good.
Yep, her heart is good, herlungs, all that stuff.
They did a ton of tests Lots andlots of medical visits.
And she's basically fine.
Basically, the biggest thing forher is a speech delay.
And that's a pretty commonsymptom of 22Q is that she just
has a really hard time figuringout, like she understands when
(11:45):
you're talking to her, herreceptive language is just fine.
But to form the words with themuscles of her mouth, her brain
and her mouth just don'tcommunicate properly to get to
where she can actually speak.
She understands you fine.
And she knows, boy, let me tellyou, she knows what you're
saying to her.
And I know that she knows.
But sometimes she tries to takeadvantage and pretend like she
(12:07):
doesn't know what you're sayingand just do what she wants to do
anyway.
She knows how to use hersituation sometimes.
It's kind of funny.
But yeah, those have been somehard things.
And the question, how do youovercome those?
I don't know that we haveovercome a lot of those things.
Some of it, like grief ormiscarriage, is something that
just hits you in waves.
It comes at you in differentways at different times, and you
(12:28):
don't ever really overcome it.
You just deal with it.
You pray through it.
You lean on the people you gotto lean on.
And sometimes things You get adiagnosis for a daughter, and
you recognize that's going to bea lifelong thing that she'll
deal with.
I don't know that there'sovercoming that.
There's an attempt to give it tothe Lord in faith, and just do
(12:49):
your very best to live each dayin faith, right where you are,
treating each situation as bestyou can to the glory of the
Lord.
Yeah, I mean, we have good daysand bad days with each of these
things, so it's just ongoing.
UNKNOWN (13:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:05):
Hmm.
That's really, really, um, neathow you shared, how you shared,
how you just continuallystruggle, struggle with those
things.
And you probably will continueto struggle with those things.
Um, yeah.
Ongoing.
I appreciate, uh, how youhonestly shared that.
Um, If you're going to go backin time, so before you're first
(13:26):
born, was born, and you weregoing to give yourself some
parenting advice, what wouldthat advice be?
What would you tell yourself,Travis, do this?
Or maybe there's a couple ofthings that you would have told
yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
Yeah.
So as my wife and I were sittingin the Chick-fil-A line, she got
to this question.
I was like, oh, I'm good.
I don't need help on this one.
Because I am so keenly aware ofone of my biggest flaws with my
daughters.
And it is, boy, I can get so, soquickly, I can get annoyed and a
little bit edgy with my girls,you know?
Because it feels like when theymisbehave, it's...
(14:01):
It's almost like it's got to beon purpose.
It's intentional.
It's an annoyance to me becauseI've already told you a hundred
times not to or to do this orwhatever else.
And man, that's a hard thing.
If I could go back in time, andhonestly, that's another one
that's ongoing.
Boy, could I be better aboutthat.
I've mellowed a lot, especiallyhaving four children.
My house is very loud.
(14:22):
Just, you know, you can imaginefour little girls.
As a side note, by the way,because it's so loud, sometimes
when I play with them, Iliterally put earmuffs on my
head just so I can not go crazywith the screaming.
They think it's funny, so atleast it's not going to be a
complex for them.
But anyway, yeah, if I could goback in time, seven years ago
(14:43):
when Della was first born, andif I could just sit myself down
and say, Travis, they'resensitive.
They're little girls.
They're sensitive little souls,and they're sinners.
And they don't misbehave becausethey necessarily intend to.
They're just children, right?
So be patient.
Be kind.
(15:03):
Don't let that edge get intoyour voice so quickly.
You know, sometimes childrenneed to be firmly corrected.
I think more often than not,what they need is tenderness,
gentleness.
Yeah.
Like just a tender guide ratherthan a firm, strict, edgy
disciplinarian.
(15:24):
And I have a really hard timewith that.
I really do.
You know, that's something Icould remember better.
just how sensitive little girlsare and how quickly I can just
be annoyed by perceivedmisbehaviors.
And a lot of times, honestly,man, some of the misbehaviors
aren't even necessarilymisbehaviors.
They might just be annoyances tome.
(15:46):
And I can get edgy about thattoo.
It's something I continuallypray about, something I need to
continually work on.
And man, even when my wifepoints it out, oftentimes it's
totally warranted, but that canalso get to me in those moments.
And I know that's a flaw ofmine.
I'm right in the middle of beingannoyed with something my
daughter's done and my wife'slike, hey, just take a breath.
(16:09):
And that kind of gets me goingtoo.
And I'm like, no, Travis, humbleyourself to the point where you
can receive that criticism, evenin that moment, and just
breathe, relax.
They're little girls.
UNKNOWN (16:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:21):
Don't be so hard on them.
That's something I cancontinually learn, but
something, yeah, if I could geta jumpstart on that seven years
ago, that'd be really helpfultoo.
SPEAKER_00 (16:30):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
That was really helpful advicethat I think other people can
benefit from as well.
Well, as we kind of draw ourconversation to a close, could
you tell us a funny parentingstory, or maybe you have a
couple funny parenting storiesthat you'd like to share with
(16:51):
us?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
Yeah, I mean, so we've got four girls.
Del is our oldest, and she wasthe one that would do dabu time
and play.
Scabetti.
Gosh, I cannot say that wordright anymore.
You know, that's always funstuff.
But Ari, our third born, she'sthe comedian, man.
And I think she's a class clownon purpose, but sometimes I
think she's funny when she's noteven meaning to be.
(17:13):
We took a trip down to see myparents.
They're about four hours away.
Clara's side's about three hoursaway.
And we took a trip down for aweekend to hang out with my mom
and dad.
And there's a splash pad closeto their hometown, and we took
the girls over there for alittle while.
When we got back, Nana and Papaasked Ari, you know, how was the
splash pad?
And, uh, you know, she, she wastelling him about it, how much
(17:34):
fun it was.
And, uh, they had some beesflying around their flower pots
right in the front porch.
And, you know, my dad asking,just to be funny, like, oh, were
there any bees there?
Were there any bees at thesplash pad?
And Ari said, no, bees don'thave swimsuits.
Like, she was really upset thatthat question was even asked
because it should be so obviousthat bees weren't there because
(17:56):
they don't own swimsuits.
That's why they're not at thesplash pad, which is hilarious.
In that same trip, too, by theway, she gave us another, just
another golden one-liner.
they were eating dinner and mykids eat slow sometimes we just
leave them at the table for alittle while once we're done
because we're just not going tosit there for an hour while they
piddle around with their plateum but yeah they ari after a
(18:19):
couple of us had already gottenup and we told them all right
you got to sit there and you gotto eat your food you have to
make a happy plate you got to doyour thing there um she just
started to cry and cry and cryand we knew like we knew what it
was she didn't want to eat itand that's fine but my my mom
walked over and nana asked ariyou know why are you crying so
much and ari said i can't Ican't like my food.
(18:39):
Like it wasn't even a choice.
She's incapable of liking herfood.
I can't like my food.
That one got our funny bonepretty good too.
Yeah, she's the comedian, man.
There's a whole sea of Ari-ismsthat we could throw at you.
She's always got some one-liner,some funny thing.
One from Lissy, my second-born.
(18:59):
She's got that speech delay, soshe can't really speak well.
But she's also a major, majorintrovert and just a mega
homebody.
If she could just stay home allthe time, she'd be fine.
And when she's in a situationwhere she's remotely
uncomfortable, she just shutsdown.
We know that now.
We didn't know that when we wentto the Fun Farm, which is the
local pumpkin patch here, and wetook Della and Lissy.
(19:21):
They were the only two we hadback then.
Lissy was like two years old.
And we were at the fun farm fora few hours, again, with my
parents.
They came up to go to thepumpkin patch with us.
And she just seemed ill all day.
They've got little wheelbarrowsyou can push your pumpkins
around in and stuff.
But, you know, we throw thegirls in and just push the girls
around in the wheelbarrows.
(19:41):
And Della's having fun.
She was doing the pumpkin patchthings and enjoying it.
They had little rides, littlebucket train thing and that kind
of stuff.
And the whole time, Lissy justin the wheelbarrow, deadpan face
and just looking just pitiful ithought she was sick we all
thought she was not feeling wellwell after the few hours that we
(20:01):
were there we were getting themback in their car seat and she
lit up huge smile real brighteyed again all that stuff and we
were like oh she's okay she mustbe feeling better and she was
saying ah done ah done no allday long the only thing She was
just mad.
She wasn't feeling bad.
She was just mad that she wasthere, out of her home and in a
(20:23):
place she didn't want to be.
And we thought this kid wasliterally sick, ill, feverish or
something.
No, she's just a mega homebody.
And she lit up.
She was cooing in the backseatsaying, all done, all done for
the drive home.
And as soon as we got home,she's totally fine again.
We thought she was actuallysick, but no, she just didn't
(20:43):
want to be there.
And that was pretty funny too,the all done.
as she singsonged all the wayback home.
SPEAKER_00 (20:50):
Well, those are some good, funny parenting stories
and a good note to end on.
On behalf of all the listenersand myself, I would like to
thank you for being on the show.
You bet.
Thank you for joining me.
I hope this was an encouragementto you.
Please follow the show, leave areview, and share it with the
people around you.
Hello, welcome to the Kearney Kids Parenting Show.
I am your host, Abraham Leonard,Minister of Children at First
Baptist Church Kearney.
(00:20):
I am so glad that you havejoined us.
Welcome to the show, PastorTravis Black.
How are you doing?
(00:41):
I'm doing well.
Well, could you tell us a littlebit about your family, your
ministry, and just how you'redoing?
SPEAKER_01 (00:47):
Sure.
Well, you know a lot of this,but for the sake of people who
don't know me, yeah, TravisBlack, my family.
I got my wife, Clara.
We've been married for 10 yearsnow, and we've got four
daughters.
I'll give you their nicknames.
It's So we're right in the thickof it at the moment.
(01:11):
My title is Associate Pastor forWorship and Young Adults here at
Kearney.
Ministry-wise, I've been hereseven years, and in that time
we've had all four girls and thechurch is doing really well.
It's a pleasure to serve herewith the staff that we serve
with.
And yeah, my main area ofresponsibility is worship
ministries, music, serviceplanning, and everything that
(01:32):
goes along with that.
But then secondarily, I'vestarted a Sunday school class
for young adults, taught thatclass for a while, taught a
different class for youngadults, and now, last few years,
I've actually been focused onsenior adult ministry and
helping to stabilize that andmake sure that they have
everything that they need.
So, yeah, main area, worshipministries, and then just
(01:54):
everything else.
SPEAKER_00 (01:57):
Well, that is great, and I enjoy serving alongside of
you for the few months that I'vegot to do so.
Could you tell us just start bytelling us a good parenting
memory, maybe a couple of goodparenting memories that you
have.
Yeah.
So actually, my
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
wife and I were in the Chick-fil-A line last night,
and I said, oh, I need help.
Can you help me answer thesequestions real quick?
So I got my cheat sheet herefrom my wife and my conversation
yesterday.
So she was helping me jog mymemory a little bit.
And yeah, we've done familyworship for years, kind of
spotty sometimes.
We're really good about itsometimes and not as good about
(02:35):
it at other times.
But for the most part, we try tomaintain just a very brief
family worship after dinner.
A lot of times, now that they'rereally doing homeschool, a lot
of their Bible and familyworship type stuff happens
during the day.
But after dinner, a lot of timeswe'll sing a song, we'll read a
passage of scripture, and we'llpray.
Just a few small things.
It takes like seven minutes.
(02:56):
My girls are little, and that'sabout as long as their attention
spans are when it comes to thosekind of things.
So family worship has beenreally, really a joy.
Della, my oldest, is seven now,but when she was really little,
we started this when it was justthe three of us, just my wife,
me, and Della.
And for some reason, she reallylatched onto the song, I'll Fly
Away, which depending on yourtheology, you may not actually
(03:18):
believe in the literal sense,which is a little funny.
But she loved that song.
And for some reason, she reallyattached herself to it.
And we sang that just aboutevery night where I would drum
on the table to give us a littlebit of a beat.
And I got to the point where wewould sing the chorus a second
time, like double time, like abluegrassy hoedown where you do
(03:41):
the offbeat thing.
Anyway, if you're not amusician, that means nothing to
you.
But one of my favorite memoriesis we'd sing the song, we'd get
all the way through it likenormal, and then we'd stop for a
second and she'd look at us andshe'd say, double time?
Because she couldn't say doubletime.
I loved that so much.
Double time, she'd say.
Oh man, growing up with herthough, or her growing up, she
(04:04):
had a few of those.
She also loved this show calledSuper Why, and it's all about
reading.
These superheroes read thingsand read stories and that kind
of thing.
Well, she couldn't say SuperWhy, and the song, the theme
song goes, Super Why, Super Why.
Well, I hear that over and overagain throughout the day, and
she loved it, and she would say,Hippu Da.
(04:24):
That was how she pronouncedSuper Why.
So, I'd walk in and sing, HippuDa, Hippu Da, and she thought
that was hilarious.
And even to this day, because ofhow Della pronounced it, we We
almost can't say the word, I gotto get it right, spaghetti
correctly.
Because for her entire life,she's called it scabetti.
And now I have a really hardtime when I'm talking to regular
(04:46):
adults not calling spaghettiscabetti.
And that's a real problem forme.
But that's also, I love thatmemory.
You said one or two, but I'llgive you one more.
This is the big one.
In February of this year, Idelivered...
My fourth child, and most of thepeople in our church know that
because Pastor Ken announced iton a Sunday, and now everybody
calls me Dr.
Black, which is crazy.
(05:08):
I am not.
I am not a doctor in any sense.
No, that's a long story, andI'll spare you the details, but
it was, my goodness, just a...
a wild experience, and it was awhirlwind, and help was on the
way.
It wasn't the plan.
I wasn't the planned person tobe there, just me and my wife
(05:28):
welcoming our fourth girl intothe world, but I'm the one.
I don't know about talent, but Ihappened to be there at the...
I guess you could say the righttime.
No, help was about 10 minutesaway.
They were coming, and yeah, itUh, Minty just came way faster
than we thought she would.
So I ended up catching her andI'm the first human being in the
(05:51):
world who saw her little face,um, this side of the womb.
And yeah, that was a, that was aspecial experience.
And I think I'll have a, just aspecial memory and a special
bond with my fourth daughter,um, just because of that.
UNKNOWN (06:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:05):
Yeah, that's really cool, and I like how you
mentioned singing with yourgirls.
I enjoyed singing with my familygrowing up, and I remember as we
grew older, we were able to playinstruments along, and we'd have
little family worship sessionsin the living room, and I always
(06:26):
enjoy doing
SPEAKER_01 (06:27):
that.
I love the idea of that.
I mean, I'm about to start mydaughter on piano lessons, and
I'm going to be her teacher.
We'll see how much she likesthat, but...
I just love the idea of justencouraging them to just grow
musically.
Of course, grow in the Lord.
Our biggest prayer for our girlsis that they'll be saved.
But yeah, I just, there'ssomething about family music
(06:49):
that's special.
So we'll enjoy that too.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
Yeah.
Well, now that we talked aboutsome of your good parenting
memories that you've had, couldyou tell us about some hard
times that you've had as aparent and how you've overcame
those hard times?
SPEAKER_01 (07:02):
Yeah, so hard times, I mean, some things are ongoing.
For example, a ministry family,a lot of pastoral families, or
even military families, peoplewho move away for a calling or
for whatever else, you guys willunderstand this, but just not
having a family real close by,that's really hard.
My wife grew up in Hannibal,Missouri, which is across the
(07:24):
state.
It's only about a three-hourdrive, but three hours is long
enough that we just don't makeit over there all the time.
A couple times a year, and hermom's not close.
My wife and her mom are on thephone with each other just about
every single day, and it's hardfor her, especially, being home
with the girls, just not havingclose family support.
(07:47):
Now, that's not to say that ourchurch family doesn't support
us.
We've got some just incredible,incredible people here who have
offered and offered and offeredto take some of the burden off
of Clara and, you know, take thegirls for some time and that
kind of thing.
And I'm so grateful for that.
It's never quite the same ashaving your mom right there
though.
And that's something that shereally misses.
(08:07):
It's really hard for her, whichmakes it really hard for all of
us to just not have familyclose.
But, you know, that's just partof part of being a ministry
family sometimes is the Lordcalls you to a certain place and
your family may or may not beright there with you.
So that's hard.
It's not something we'veovercome necessarily.
It's something we kind of haveups and downs with as far as
like how it makes us feel.
(08:29):
Yeah.
But we just try to be faithfulwhere we are and and do the best
we can with the people who arehere and helping us.
And yeah, we have some harddays, but a lot of times we get
breaks from people who are justkind enough to take the girls
for a little while.
So that's a hard thing.
But a couple other things, youknow, my wife, after we had a
(08:50):
couple of children, she had amiscarriage and that was really
hard for us both to deal with.
That'll be really raw for somepeople to hear because
miscarriage is a lot more commonthan people talk about.
It's kind of a hard subject totalk about.
And something my wife had to getthrough was just the feeling of
shame that goes with that.
(09:11):
And it's not...
Of course, it's not her fault.
It's not.
But there's just somedeep-seated, deep-rooted shame
that the enemy just throws at awoman who's had a miscarriage.
Not every single woman who's hada miscarriage, but that is a
common thread.
When we've been...
open about that with people andwe hear other people say that
that is just a common threadthrough the story is that people
(09:34):
feel shame about that and umBoy, it's hard to talk about for
a lot of people.
So we've come to the point wherewe're open about that.
And, you know, it was a reallyhard time.
And there was guilt that camealong with that.
But I think my wife has done areally good job of overcoming
that through prayer, throughtalking about it with other
(09:54):
people and other people who haveexperienced the same thing.
Miscarriage is awful.
It's a tragic, tragic thing.
But just recognizing that she'snot alone.
and that it's not her fault.
And really coming to grips withthat, that was really helpful.
And then, yeah, I mean, oneother thing, our second born,
her name's Lissy, she's had amedical journey.
Nothing that's likelife-altering for her in a big
(10:18):
way, but she was diagnosed withepilepsy as a kid.
She had a few seizures.
And that's, you know, fourmonths old, she had her first
seizure.
I think it was four months old.
And that was really hard, like atraditional sort of grand mal
seizure.
She had...
six to eight seizures, whichthat's six or eight more than we
ever wanted one of our daughtersto have.
(10:39):
Diagnosed with epilepsy, wespent a lot of time in the
hospitals going through testsand that kind of thing.
Eventually, after multipletests, we got a genetic test
back and she was diagnosed withsomething called 22Q.
It's called DeGeorge syndrome.
It's got a couple differentnames, but basically a piece of
her 22nd chromosome is missing.
(10:59):
The information's just notthere.
22Q affects what they callmidline structures.
So if you think about your bodyfrom, you know, nose down to
belly button, like everythingright in the center of you can
be affected by 22Q.
So for her, what that means is,and there's a broad, broad
spectrum of symptoms that can goalong with 22Q.
(11:22):
So they just kind of do a bunchof individual tests to say, yep,
her eyes are good.
Yep, her nose is good.
Yep, her heart is good, herlungs, all that stuff.
They did a ton of tests Lots andlots of medical visits.
And she's basically fine.
Basically, the biggest thing forher is a speech delay.
And that's a pretty commonsymptom of 22Q is that she just
has a really hard time figuringout, like she understands when
(11:45):
you're talking to her, herreceptive language is just fine.
But to form the words with themuscles of her mouth, her brain
and her mouth just don'tcommunicate properly to get to
where she can actually speak.
She understands you fine.
And she knows, boy, let me tellyou, she knows what you're
saying to her.
And I know that she knows.
But sometimes she tries to takeadvantage and pretend like she
(12:07):
doesn't know what you're sayingand just do what she wants to do
anyway.
She knows how to use hersituation sometimes.
It's kind of funny.
But yeah, those have been somehard things.
And the question, how do youovercome those?
I don't know that we haveovercome a lot of those things.
Some of it, like grief ormiscarriage, is something that
just hits you in waves.
It comes at you in differentways at different times, and you
(12:28):
don't ever really overcome it.
You just deal with it.
You pray through it.
You lean on the people you gotto lean on.
And sometimes things You get adiagnosis for a daughter, and
you recognize that's going to bea lifelong thing that she'll
deal with.
I don't know that there'sovercoming that.
There's an attempt to give it tothe Lord in faith, and just do
(12:49):
your very best to live each dayin faith, right where you are,
treating each situation as bestyou can to the glory of the
Lord.
Yeah, I mean, we have good daysand bad days with each of these
things, so it's just ongoing.
UNKNOWN (13:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:05):
Hmm.
That's really, really, um, neathow you shared, how you shared,
how you just continuallystruggle, struggle with those
things.
And you probably will continueto struggle with those things.
Um, yeah.
Ongoing.
I appreciate, uh, how youhonestly shared that.
Um, If you're going to go backin time, so before you're first
(13:26):
born, was born, and you weregoing to give yourself some
parenting advice, what wouldthat advice be?
What would you tell yourself,Travis, do this?
Or maybe there's a couple ofthings that you would have told
yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
Yeah.
So as my wife and I were sittingin the Chick-fil-A line, she got
to this question.
I was like, oh, I'm good.
I don't need help on this one.
Because I am so keenly aware ofone of my biggest flaws with my
daughters.
And it is, boy, I can get so, soquickly, I can get annoyed and a
little bit edgy with my girls,you know?
Because it feels like when theymisbehave, it's...
(14:01):
It's almost like it's got to beon purpose.
It's intentional.
It's an annoyance to me becauseI've already told you a hundred
times not to or to do this orwhatever else.
And man, that's a hard thing.
If I could go back in time, andhonestly, that's another one
that's ongoing.
Boy, could I be better aboutthat.
I've mellowed a lot, especiallyhaving four children.
My house is very loud.
(14:22):
Just, you know, you can imaginefour little girls.
As a side note, by the way,because it's so loud, sometimes
when I play with them, Iliterally put earmuffs on my
head just so I can not go crazywith the screaming.
They think it's funny, so atleast it's not going to be a
complex for them.
But anyway, yeah, if I could goback in time, seven years ago
(14:43):
when Della was first born, andif I could just sit myself down
and say, Travis, they'resensitive.
They're little girls.
They're sensitive little souls,and they're sinners.
And they don't misbehave becausethey necessarily intend to.
They're just children, right?
So be patient.
Be kind.
(15:03):
Don't let that edge get intoyour voice so quickly.
You know, sometimes childrenneed to be firmly corrected.
I think more often than not,what they need is tenderness,
gentleness.
Yeah.
Like just a tender guide ratherthan a firm, strict, edgy
disciplinarian.
(15:24):
And I have a really hard timewith that.
I really do.
You know, that's something Icould remember better.
just how sensitive little girlsare and how quickly I can just
be annoyed by perceivedmisbehaviors.
And a lot of times, honestly,man, some of the misbehaviors
aren't even necessarilymisbehaviors.
They might just be annoyances tome.
(15:46):
And I can get edgy about thattoo.
It's something I continuallypray about, something I need to
continually work on.
And man, even when my wifepoints it out, oftentimes it's
totally warranted, but that canalso get to me in those moments.
And I know that's a flaw ofmine.
I'm right in the middle of beingannoyed with something my
daughter's done and my wife'slike, hey, just take a breath.
(16:09):
And that kind of gets me goingtoo.
And I'm like, no, Travis, humbleyourself to the point where you
can receive that criticism, evenin that moment, and just
breathe, relax.
They're little girls.
UNKNOWN (16:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:21):
Don't be so hard on them.
That's something I cancontinually learn, but
something, yeah, if I could geta jumpstart on that seven years
ago, that'd be really helpfultoo.
SPEAKER_00 (16:30):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
That was really helpful advicethat I think other people can
benefit from as well.
Well, as we kind of draw ourconversation to a close, could
you tell us a funny parentingstory, or maybe you have a
couple funny parenting storiesthat you'd like to share with
(16:51):
us?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
Yeah, I mean, so we've got four girls.
Del is our oldest, and she wasthe one that would do dabu time
and play.
Scabetti.
Gosh, I cannot say that wordright anymore.
You know, that's always funstuff.
But Ari, our third born, she'sthe comedian, man.
And I think she's a class clownon purpose, but sometimes I
think she's funny when she's noteven meaning to be.
(17:13):
We took a trip down to see myparents.
They're about four hours away.
Clara's side's about three hoursaway.
And we took a trip down for aweekend to hang out with my mom
and dad.
And there's a splash pad closeto their hometown, and we took
the girls over there for alittle while.
When we got back, Nana and Papaasked Ari, you know, how was the
splash pad?
And, uh, you know, she, she wastelling him about it, how much
(17:34):
fun it was.
And, uh, they had some beesflying around their flower pots
right in the front porch.
And, you know, my dad asking,just to be funny, like, oh, were
there any bees there?
Were there any bees at thesplash pad?
And Ari said, no, bees don'thave swimsuits.
Like, she was really upset thatthat question was even asked
because it should be so obviousthat bees weren't there because
(17:56):
they don't own swimsuits.
That's why they're not at thesplash pad, which is hilarious.
In that same trip, too, by theway, she gave us another, just
another golden one-liner.
they were eating dinner and mykids eat slow sometimes we just
leave them at the table for alittle while once we're done
because we're just not going tosit there for an hour while they
piddle around with their plateum but yeah they ari after a
(18:19):
couple of us had already gottenup and we told them all right
you got to sit there and you gotto eat your food you have to
make a happy plate you got to doyour thing there um she just
started to cry and cry and cryand we knew like we knew what it
was she didn't want to eat itand that's fine but my my mom
walked over and nana asked ariyou know why are you crying so
much and ari said i can't Ican't like my food.
(18:39):
Like it wasn't even a choice.
She's incapable of liking herfood.
I can't like my food.
That one got our funny bonepretty good too.
Yeah, she's the comedian, man.
There's a whole sea of Ari-ismsthat we could throw at you.
She's always got some one-liner,some funny thing.
One from Lissy, my second-born.
(18:59):
She's got that speech delay, soshe can't really speak well.
But she's also a major, majorintrovert and just a mega
homebody.
If she could just stay home allthe time, she'd be fine.
And when she's in a situationwhere she's remotely
uncomfortable, she just shutsdown.
We know that now.
We didn't know that when we wentto the Fun Farm, which is the
local pumpkin patch here, and wetook Della and Lissy.
(19:21):
They were the only two we hadback then.
Lissy was like two years old.
And we were at the fun farm fora few hours, again, with my
parents.
They came up to go to thepumpkin patch with us.
And she just seemed ill all day.
They've got little wheelbarrowsyou can push your pumpkins
around in and stuff.
But, you know, we throw thegirls in and just push the girls
around in the wheelbarrows.
(19:41):
And Della's having fun.
She was doing the pumpkin patchthings and enjoying it.
They had little rides, littlebucket train thing and that kind
of stuff.
And the whole time, Lissy justin the wheelbarrow, deadpan face
and just looking just pitiful ithought she was sick we all
thought she was not feeling wellwell after the few hours that we
(20:01):
were there we were getting themback in their car seat and she
lit up huge smile real brighteyed again all that stuff and we
were like oh she's okay she mustbe feeling better and she was
saying ah done ah done no allday long the only thing She was
just mad.
She wasn't feeling bad.
She was just mad that she wasthere, out of her home and in a
(20:23):
place she didn't want to be.
And we thought this kid wasliterally sick, ill, feverish or
something.
No, she's just a mega homebody.
And she lit up.
She was cooing in the backseatsaying, all done, all done for
the drive home.
And as soon as we got home,she's totally fine again.
We thought she was actuallysick, but no, she just didn't
(20:43):
want to be there.
And that was pretty funny too,the all done.
as she singsonged all the wayback home.
SPEAKER_00 (20:50):
Well, those are some good, funny parenting stories
and a good note to end on.
On behalf of all the listenersand myself, I would like to
thank you for being on the show.
You bet.
Thank you for joining me.
I hope this was an encouragementto you.
Please follow the show, leave areview, and share it with the
people around you.
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