July 25, 2024 • 30 mins
Ever wondered why the fixer-upper life could be your ticket to a fulfilling and resilient partnership? Join us on this episode of the Gorham Homestead podcast. First I share our latest homesteading adventures, from grappling with a major PVC pipe leak to celebrating a bumper crop of tomatoes. While we battle pests threatening our cucumbers and squash, we're also planning a special live cooking session with Nicole, featuring unique preparations of cow tongue. Plus, our barnyard is buzzing with an unexpected 17 ducks, and I outline our plans for processing some of our Muscovy ducks while preserving a few as breeding pairs and lovable pets.
We also delve into the invaluable life lessons that come from embracing the fixer-upper journey, particularly for young couples just starting out. There's a stark contrast between the immediate, ready-made lives many young people envision and the reality of what their parents built over decades. I emphasize the growth, problem-solving skills, and sense of accomplishment that come from working toward goals together from scratch. Whether it's about fixing a leak or harvesting your crops, the journey is rich with rewards. With perseverance and determination, you'll find that everything falls into place, making the hard work worthwhile. Don't forget to connect with us on social media and check out our website for more insights and resources.
Keep it real and remember the journey is usually more important than the destination.
Sponsor for today:
Hamilton, Gorham & Duncan PLLC Your full service family law firm. Visit HGDLegal.com
TheGorhamHomestead.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey y'all and welcome to keeping it real, the Gorham
Homestead podcast, where we talkabout real food, real natural
living, the real art of naturalhealing and real life out here
in our Tennessee homestead.
I'm your host, dawn Gorham, andtoday is Thursday, july the
25th 2024, and you're listeningto episode number 19.
(00:35):
I'm getting close to 20.
I should have 20, but I skippedlast week, so I'm going to get
there.
It's okay.
They tell me that most podcastsdon't get past 10, so at least
maybe I'm moving in the rightdirection.
Our sponsor today is HamiltonGorham and Duncan.
They are your full-serviceattorneys.
(00:57):
They are located in Bellevue,just outside of Nashville.
They are just wonderful people.
If I do say so myself, I happento be married to one.
T Gorham is one of the partnersin Hamilton Gorham, duncan and
of course you know him.
He's always on the podcast withme.
He's just a great human beingand all of his clients love him.
So if you need anything to dowith family law, wills, small
(01:23):
criminal offenses, not the bigstuff, but you know you get hit
with something little, he'llhelp you with that and they are
willing to travel all overMiddle Tennessee.
So we would love to thankHamilton Gorham and Duncan Jad,
duncan T Gorham and Sue Hamiltonfor sponsoring the show today.
Show today Update.
(01:50):
So what's going on around here?
Well, today I have a huge holecut in the wall.
You know, just when I thinkthat nothing else can go wrong
with this building, somethingelse happens, and I may have
mentioned it before.
But we had some water comingout of the wall underneath the
mini split here in the canneryand it ended up being a leaking
(02:15):
pipe that was running down thewall.
The PVC pipe had come detachedand so they had to come and fix
that and reattach it.
But when the drywall guy cameand cut out a test hole just a
exploration hole, as he calledit it was bad, like the spray
foam insulation.
You could stick your finger init and it's just like sticking
(02:35):
your finger in wet, icky, gross,like water was coming out of it
.
So a pretty big section ishaving to be removed, and so the
mini split guys came back aftereverything's opened up and just
double checked to make sureevery other joint, everything
(02:56):
else is buttoned up, sealed,glued, strapped, everything that
they could do to make sure thatwe don't have any further
leakage in that wall.
So that's one thing that's beengoing on.
The other thing with the garden.
We are in tomato garden rightnow.
I planted I may have mentionedit before I didn't want to be
(03:17):
tomato poor this year.
Well, I'm certainly not tomatopoor, I am rolling in tomatoes.
I planted about 60, 70 plants,not sure that only planted two
varieties for preserving.
I planted Bradley's for mycanning tomatoes and then I
planted Roma's for my saucetomatoes and then just for
(03:41):
snacking, I planted a beefsteakfor slicing, which has not done
anything for me this year.
I think it's just been too dry,it didn't have irrigation on it
.
And then I plant Tommy Toesbecause I like to just walk by
and eat those off of the plant.
So that's doing good.
The cucumbers not so much.
(04:01):
Something was eating them whilewe were gone and even before
that I think chickens weregetting in there and eating them
.
Deer.
We have a groundhog that Iwould really love to take out
and he gets in there and justhides and goes to town on
(04:22):
whatever he can find.
So I suspect it's one of those.
So we're not getting a wholelot of cucumbers.
I will have that fixed by nextyear because I have a brainstorm
plan for that.
Not getting any squash, whateverit was, was also ate all like
nipped every leaf and growththat it could nip off of my
(04:45):
squash plant.
So I know everybody else getszucchini and squash out the ears
from just a few plants and thisyear I didn't get any.
I'm real sad because I'm out ofsquash relish and instead of
any other kind of relish, evenin like tuna fish on hot dogs.
We love hot squash relish.
I have a really good recipe forthat.
(05:06):
So anyway, I might have to hitup somebody see if I can trade
some tomatoes for squash, whichactually that's a pretty good
trade, if you ask me.
Tomorrow, nicole and I will becooking cow tongue.
We're going live, we're goingto do a surprise live and she's
(05:27):
going to cook it her way and I'mgoing to cook it my way.
She's at her house, I'm at myhouse and we're going to just
cook one of those pieces of meatthat when you get a cow
processed it just gets lost inthe back of the freezer forever
until you decide to feed it tothe dogs, and we're going to
show you that you can actuallycook the tongue and make it
(05:47):
tasty.
So looking forward to that.
The barnyard's moved.
We got everything moved fromthe lower barnyard up to in
front of the house, turkeys,guineas ducks I have 17 ducks.
You talk about chicken math,duck math is just as bad.
I did not like.
My husband came in the otherday and he said you realize we
(06:08):
have 17 ducks?
And I was like, no, I did notrealize we have 17 ducks.
But we do.
We have two turkeys that we'regoing to keep for pets, um, just
to sort of be as mascots.
Let them run around, let themlook cute when people come to
visit, Just to sort of be asmascots, let them run around,
let them look cute when peoplecome to visit.
And all of those Muscovies wemay process.
(06:29):
I don't know if any is a female, then I will keep a breeding
pair Because my understanding isthat they're really good
mothers and they're veryprolific when they start to
breeding.
So we'll see how that goes.
But they're really big, so Ibet they would make really good
meat and I'm looking forward tothat.
I'm looking forward to tryingsome Pekin duck.
(06:49):
I've heard a lot of people saythat they like that a lot better
because it's a lot milder meat.
Me personally, I have not eatenthat.
I have One of the speaking offoods I don't normally eat.
I've also learned that I likelamb.
I had some lamb that Nicolegave me, that I cooked.
(07:10):
But then I also had lamb chopsat the wedding that we were at a
couple of weeks ago in Coloradoand they were like, really like
not grocery store tasting lambchops.
Those were fantastic.
So we decided we're going toget some sheep, so that may be
on the horizon for next year.
That's pretty much all theupdates for me as of right now.
(07:34):
There's not really.
It's just so hot.
I'm not really doing a wholelot.
The bees I've lost one beehive,the other one doesn't have a
whole lot of activity.
I'm feeling like a failure as awhole lot.
The bees I've lost one beehive,the other one doesn't have a
whole lot of activity.
I'm feeling like a failure as abeekeeper.
Of course, it's my first yearand that tends to be how I learn
(07:54):
is I fail and I fail and I failand I fail, until I figure out
why I failed and failed, andfailed and failed and then I
will just be awesome at it.
From that point forward, Inever know everything about all
things or about anything, butfailure tends to be my best
teacher and it makes meunderstand why we do things the
(08:17):
way that we do things.
Hopefully I won't lose thatother hive in the process,
though I have a friend comingover Monday.
It's going to open up the hivewith me and just double check
Because I know there's thingsI'm supposed to be doing.
In late July, going into August,I didn't get any honey.
I wasn't anticipating gettingany honey this year.
(08:38):
I'm hoping I'll get honey nextyear.
We shall see.
I'm hoping I'll get honey nextyear.
We shall see.
And if I can just get enough,you know, for our family and our
friends and our local communitypeople who are constantly
asking me when I'm going to havehoney, that would be really,
really good.
So I'm really excited about it.
Plus, I use it for a lot of mymedicinal stuff.
Like, I went through fivegallons of honey last year.
(09:00):
No, I went through two buckets,10 gallons of honey last year,
making elderberry syrup andmaking fire cider and then
making cough syrups and you knowall of the kind of stuff.
I put it in ice cream, as youknow, as an alternative to just
straight up sugar.
So there's lots that I do withhoney.
(09:22):
It's really good as anantiseptic on the skin.
You know stuff like that.
So hopefully, fingers crossed,we'll see.
Hopefully I won't be an utterbee failure, we'll see.
That is literally it as far aswhat's going on the farm
Saturday this coming up.
Saturday I have a workshop.
(09:44):
It is our last Beginner'sCanning Workshop of the season.
So if you're hearing this andit's not later than Saturday,
july the 27th, you can stillcome.
We are doing tomatoes Wonderwhy?
And I'm going to teacheverybody how to blanch them,
(10:06):
how to do whole tomatoes, how todo sauce tomatoes, how to make
salsa.
If they want to, we'll talkabout salsas.
We may not make salsa.
I'm not sure we may.
That might be kind of fun, butI'm really looking forward to it
.
Every time we have a canningworkshop it is so much fun and
it always turns out to be somuch better than I thought it
(10:27):
was going to be, and it's alwaysbetter than the last one.
So you know, if there'sanything that you want to learn,
check out our website.
The different workshops andclasses that I teach, we have
usually five to six throughoutthe season.
It's hard to do more than that.
Just because it's a farm Like,there's things that need to be
(10:48):
done.
So I have a hard time, you know, and I want to schedule it on
Saturdays because most peoplework Monday through Friday.
So, but at any rate, just checkout our website and you can see
the schedule.
Remaining schedule for the year.
Sunday is our Dixon CountyHomesteaders Alliance group.
I'm really excited about that.
We're doing a repeat of homedistilling for personal use, you
(11:11):
know, not for, not for resale,not where we're going to have
the sheriff knocking on our door, but just, you know, to teach
people that.
You know you can distill ifever need be.
You can distill water.
You know you can distill allkinds of stuff, but yeah, I use
it for tinctures.
It's not.
I'm not a drinker, I don'tdrinks give me headaches.
(11:31):
I can't even.
You know, I can't even enjoy aglass of wine anymore without an
awful headache.
So you know that's not a reasonfor me to want to distill
anything, but I'm fascinated byit.
I think it is such a cool skillto have and, again, it's a
solvent.
So we use it.
For, you know, when we havemedicinal stuff and we want to
(11:54):
make it super strong, we put ourherb in the watered down.
You know, moonshineine, we halfit by proof.
You know, bring the proof downabout to half, so that you know,
so we can get it to about 90proof and that way we can get
the most out of that herb, themost medicinal properties of
(12:16):
that herb that we possibly can.
Now that we got all the updatesout of the way, I'm just gonna
hop right into our topic.
So today's topic is the turnkeylife versus the fixer-upper
life, and this has been on mymind a lot lately, just because
(12:36):
we have so many young'uns in ourfamily getting married my
nieces and nephews and my son'sgetting married in September and
my daughter's had her firstbaby.
And you know, we have twograndkids from our older one,
but they've only been married acouple of years and they're in
that phase where everything is astruggle.
(12:57):
And I think that, well, firstof all, let's just talk about
the difference in what turnkeytechnically means and what fixer
upper technically means.
You know, if you think about aturnkey life, you think about
walking right into the perfecthouse that has just been built,
(13:21):
with brand new appliances andnever walked on, floors and
fresh paint, and you knoweverything is perfect and the
backyard has the privacy fenceand the pool.
That's turnkey.
That's walking right in andeverything is set up for you the
fixer-upper is not so much.
(13:43):
The fixer-upper requiresimagination.
You have to be able to problemsolve and you have to be able to
think outside the box sometimes, and that's what you know the
fixer upper house is.
It's definitely what our fixerupper house is and work in
progress.
But you think of that in termsof life when you're young and
(14:09):
you're fresh out of the gate andyou're just getting married,
starting a family.
I feel like a lot of youngpeople now and maybe it was this
way decades ago.
I don't know.
I'm only giving you myobservation and I'm definitely
not saying that this is right orwrong.
I'm not saying I'm right orwrong.
(14:30):
I'm not saying anybody else isright or wrong.
So I just wanted to give you aperspective and a little
something to think about.
So the young people, I feellike when they first get married
, they want all the things Likethey want everything that their
parents have, but took them 30years to get.
(14:51):
And you know, because kids wereyounger when their parents were
struggling, I think they don'trealize or have that memory of
the tough years of and you knowsome parents hide that from
their children.
They don't let them know thatthings are tough.
(15:12):
They don't involve them in theyou know, the family, financials
or anything else, and so theydon't necessarily see all that.
But most people's lives who havea successful life together is
not necessarily the turnkey,it's not necessarily the walk
(15:34):
into it and everything isperfect.
And I'm not saying that theturnkey life can't be great, I'm
just saying it's not necessary.
And there's a lot of value thatcomes from walking into the
fixer upper life.
Walking into the fixer upperlife not having everything at
(16:10):
first, struggling wondering howyou're going to do this or that
and denying yourself yourimpulses, figuring out how to
problem solve together it's oneof those things that just the
fixer-upper life takes time andit takes effort and maybe even
some sweat equity, you know, tomake it get to where you want it
to be.
But you know the upside ofhaving the fixer-upper life
you're not walking into aready-made life for you means
(16:32):
that you can mold your life intowhatever you want that to be.
And in my opinion, because Ihave done that and I'm on the
more of the coasting side, I'mstill building.
But now I know my vision.
I have my vision and there'ssomething rewarding in that If
(16:53):
you take the time to reallythink through who you are, who
you want to be, and not whatyour preconceived life has said
that you have to be.
There's a lot of freedom inthat, whereas you know you walk
(17:17):
into the turnkey life, so tospeak, a lot of times.
You're from very wealthy parentsand a lot of times everything
is set up for you College wasset up for you.
A lot of times parents you knowwealthy parents will pay the
down payment or pay buy thehouse for the young couple, but
(17:39):
they didn't work for anything.
They didn't have any personalemotional investment in anything
as a couple.
They didn't work towardsanything together.
And I'm not saying that's bad.
I wish I could buy every one ofmy kids' houses.
I wish I could buy them athree-story 10,000-square-foot
(18:02):
house, every last one of them,and put them right here on the
farm with me.
But I can't do that.
And it's just.
You know it's not practical toeven think like that for me, and
it's just you know it's notpractical to even think like
that for me.
But when you do that together,the number one thing that comes
from that together starting out,not having everything digging
(18:23):
and scratching and clawing yourway through life in the
beginning is growth.
You grow together and thefixer-upper life encourages
continuous growth, continuousevolving and continuous learning
.
And you're doing that together,as a family, as a couple.
(18:46):
You know, when you work towardsyour goals and you're
supporting each other, youdevelop a resilience Like you
get stronger and you gainproblem-solving skills like
real-life problem-solving skills.
You get a deeper appreciationfor you know who you are and for
(19:10):
the end result.
And it's not just about thedestination.
It's not about ending up inthat perfect 6,000 to 10,000
square foot house with theperfect car and the 2.2 kids and
the two doodles.
And it's not about that part ofit.
It's about the journey.
It's about the journey gettingthere and there's a lot of
(19:36):
memories to be made for youngcouples getting there, walking
that journey together.
There's a lot of personalfulfillment in it.
You know, when you achievesomething through your own hard
work and it's not handed to you,you know and you got your own
grit and your own determinationit gives you more of a sense of
(19:59):
accomplishment.
You know it's the differencebetween inheriting a big old
fortune from mommy and daddywhich is fine, again, fine, wish
I had it to give or buildingyour own business from the
ground up, like if you builtthat business with your hands
(20:19):
and then you become amultimillionaire, that means a
lot more to you than someonehanding you an inheritance that
you did nothing to earn.
That you did nothing to earn.
There's a lot of customizationand control.
When you we call it with SelfReliance Festival, nicole and
all of us all of us havedifferent terms for it, but the
(20:43):
basic of it is when you becomeself-reliant, it's lifestyle
design and it's what you want itto be.
When you start out from scratch,you get to design your life.
You get to design who's in it.
You get to design every part ofit.
(21:04):
How much time you spend doingthis, how much time you spend
doing that, where you want tolive, how you want to live, do
you want to grow your own food?
Do you want to live in the city?
It is all about design.
You design it how you want itto be.
You can make decisions thatdirectly affect your outcomes
and it gives you a sense ofownership over your life.
(21:27):
Nobody made you do it.
Nobody pushed you to do it.
It was not something that youwalked into.
This is yours.
It's yours and yours alone.
There's a lot to say for valueand effort.
When everything's handed to you, it can be easy to take things
(21:48):
for granted, and working towardsyour goals helps you to
understand the value of effortand the importance of
perseverance.
You persevere, you overcome,you make it happen and there's a
lot to be said for that and italso teaches you to appreciate
and take care of the things thatyou have, because you worked
(22:11):
hard to get it and you don'twant to tear it up, you don't
want to not maintain it, youdon't want to not take care of
it, because you have personalinvestment in it.
It builds character.
When you are doing things hard,you know you do the hard thing.
It makes you a better person,no-transcript.
(22:39):
You learn how to handlesetbacks, manage stress, you
bounce back from failures, andthese experiences are invaluable
and they shape who you are,they shape everything about you,
and you do it together.
Again, that's the fixer-upperlife for the couples.
(23:00):
Everything binds you togetherBecause each person evolves
right Like I'm evolving.
I'll be different in a year,probably, than I am now.
I'm different way, differentnow than I was three years ago.
But that energy of problemsolving together, of problem
(23:26):
solving together, of strugglingtogether, of figuring out how
you're going to do it togethercreates an interwoven I don't
know how to explain it it's likean interwoven energy between
the two of you.
A bond that's the word I waslooking for A bond between you
in those shared experiences andthose shared moments that make
(23:46):
you stronger as a couple andinevitably, more than likely,
will keep you together.
I believe that people who learnto problem solve together are
the ones that stay together, youknow, the ones that stay
married and don't end updivorced.
(24:08):
And I'm not throwing stones,I've been there, done that, but
I learned from it and I learnedwhat I did wrong and I am, you
know, with T.
I have fixed a lot not fixedeverything, nobody can but I
fixed a lot of that, and so Ijust think that having those
(24:33):
moments together is reallydevalued in today's society.
I think society looks at you asyou got to have this and you
got to have that, and if youdon't, it's a status thing.
To me, status thing is havingthe life that you want, whatever
(24:59):
that is, and understanding thatnothing worth having comes easy
.
You might not have the money tomake the down payment on that
house.
You're getting married.
Everybody else has a house.
You want a house.
You want the white picket fence, and that's okay.
(25:19):
It's okay to dream about thosethings, but it's not okay to let
that consume.
You Learn to enjoy the momentand find value in those moments,
because one day I know all usold folks say it, but I promise
(25:39):
you it's true One day you willlook back on those moments as
the best of your life and youwill understand how all of those
difficult moments bring you towhere you are, when you're
looking at your grandchildren oryou're looking at your
(25:59):
great-grandchildren and you'resitting with that person by your
side and then you're thinkingback on the life you built.
I'm going to wrap this up andkeep this not a super long one
today, but just remember youngfolks, because I know I have
young folks listening to me andI love you.
(26:20):
I'm so glad you're on thishealth food, natural food
journey and I'm so glad you'rethinking about how to design
your life and how to keep theindustrial food system out of
your refrigerator and out ofyour stomach.
I'm just so thankful for that.
And so I'm really speaking toyou, to the young folks who are
(26:42):
just maybe.
You know, less than 10 years ofmarriage is still tough.
It's the hard part, it's thereally hard part.
But just remember, y'all, thejourney is just as important as
the destination, if not more so,and you are literally carving
(27:04):
out your path in life.
Keep pushing, keep trying, keepleaning on each other, keep
problem solving.
I have told my kids since theywere old enough to talk to me,
and they always joked and said Iwas going to put it over the
(27:26):
door, you know, going outbecause my kids would complain
about a problem that they had.
But life is a series ofproblems that you have to solve.
Once you solve one, there willbe another, and when you learn
to communicate and learn to dothat together, beautiful things
(27:48):
happen.
So with that, thank you fortuning in.
I hope that you've enjoyedtoday's podcast.
I hope it gives you somethingto think about so that you don't
feel less than because you'renot less than.
You don't have less or needmore.
You're going to get there andit's going to be okay.
(28:09):
I know it takes more to doright now because of the way
that things are, but thingsalways work out in the end and
it's going to be fine.
When the time is right, thestars will align and you will
slowly but surely continue tobuild and to build and to build,
(28:32):
until one day you wake up andyou'll be like, wow, this is
cool.
I hope that you'll leave me areview.
Hit that subscribe button.
It helps other people to findour podcast and you can find me
(28:55):
at just the Gorham Homestead.
Reach out to me on social media.
I'm there and I try to answer.
It's not anybody else doingthat for me.
I'm also on other socials asthe Gorham Homestead and my
website is thegorhamhomesteadcom.
That's where I have myworkshops and things produce
that I have for sale.
So check out what we got goingover there and just remember
(29:18):
y'all.
Whatever you're doing today,just keep it real.
See y'all, we'll be right back.
(29:43):
I may not come from much, butI've got just enough.
As long as my baby's in my armsand the good Lord knows what's
(30:13):
in my heart, I refuse to beashamed.
It's just a southern thing.
Hey y'all and welcome to keeping it real, the Gorham
Homestead podcast, where we talkabout real food, real natural
living, the real art of naturalhealing and real life out here
in our Tennessee homestead.
I'm your host, dawn Gorham, andtoday is Thursday, july the
25th 2024, and you're listeningto episode number 19.
(00:35):
I'm getting close to 20.
I should have 20, but I skippedlast week, so I'm going to get
there.
It's okay.
They tell me that most podcastsdon't get past 10, so at least
maybe I'm moving in the rightdirection.
Our sponsor today is HamiltonGorham and Duncan.
They are your full-serviceattorneys.
(00:57):
They are located in Bellevue,just outside of Nashville.
They are just wonderful people.
If I do say so myself, I happento be married to one.
T Gorham is one of the partnersin Hamilton Gorham, duncan and
of course you know him.
He's always on the podcast withme.
He's just a great human beingand all of his clients love him.
So if you need anything to dowith family law, wills, small
(01:23):
criminal offenses, not the bigstuff, but you know you get hit
with something little, he'llhelp you with that and they are
willing to travel all overMiddle Tennessee.
So we would love to thankHamilton Gorham and Duncan Jad,
duncan T Gorham and Sue Hamiltonfor sponsoring the show today.
Show today Update.
(01:50):
So what's going on around here?
Well, today I have a huge holecut in the wall.
You know, just when I thinkthat nothing else can go wrong
with this building, somethingelse happens, and I may have
mentioned it before.
But we had some water comingout of the wall underneath the
mini split here in the canneryand it ended up being a leaking
(02:15):
pipe that was running down thewall.
The PVC pipe had come detachedand so they had to come and fix
that and reattach it.
But when the drywall guy cameand cut out a test hole just a
exploration hole, as he calledit it was bad, like the spray
foam insulation.
You could stick your finger init and it's just like sticking
(02:35):
your finger in wet, icky, gross,like water was coming out of it
.
So a pretty big section ishaving to be removed, and so the
mini split guys came back aftereverything's opened up and just
double checked to make sureevery other joint, everything
(02:56):
else is buttoned up, sealed,glued, strapped, everything that
they could do to make sure thatwe don't have any further
leakage in that wall.
So that's one thing that's beengoing on.
The other thing with the garden.
We are in tomato garden rightnow.
I planted I may have mentionedit before I didn't want to be
(03:17):
tomato poor this year.
Well, I'm certainly not tomatopoor, I am rolling in tomatoes.
I planted about 60, 70 plants,not sure that only planted two
varieties for preserving.
I planted Bradley's for mycanning tomatoes and then I
planted Roma's for my saucetomatoes and then just for
(03:41):
snacking, I planted a beefsteakfor slicing, which has not done
anything for me this year.
I think it's just been too dry,it didn't have irrigation on it
.
And then I plant Tommy Toesbecause I like to just walk by
and eat those off of the plant.
So that's doing good.
The cucumbers not so much.
(04:01):
Something was eating them whilewe were gone and even before
that I think chickens weregetting in there and eating them
.
Deer.
We have a groundhog that Iwould really love to take out
and he gets in there and justhides and goes to town on
(04:22):
whatever he can find.
So I suspect it's one of those.
So we're not getting a wholelot of cucumbers.
I will have that fixed by nextyear because I have a brainstorm
plan for that.
Not getting any squash, whateverit was, was also ate all like
nipped every leaf and growththat it could nip off of my
(04:45):
squash plant.
So I know everybody else getszucchini and squash out the ears
from just a few plants and thisyear I didn't get any.
I'm real sad because I'm out ofsquash relish and instead of
any other kind of relish, evenin like tuna fish on hot dogs.
We love hot squash relish.
I have a really good recipe forthat.
(05:06):
So anyway, I might have to hitup somebody see if I can trade
some tomatoes for squash, whichactually that's a pretty good
trade, if you ask me.
Tomorrow, nicole and I will becooking cow tongue.
We're going live, we're goingto do a surprise live and she's
(05:27):
going to cook it her way and I'mgoing to cook it my way.
She's at her house, I'm at myhouse and we're going to just
cook one of those pieces of meatthat when you get a cow
processed it just gets lost inthe back of the freezer forever
until you decide to feed it tothe dogs, and we're going to
show you that you can actuallycook the tongue and make it
(05:47):
tasty.
So looking forward to that.
The barnyard's moved.
We got everything moved fromthe lower barnyard up to in
front of the house, turkeys,guineas ducks I have 17 ducks.
You talk about chicken math,duck math is just as bad.
I did not like.
My husband came in the otherday and he said you realize we
(06:08):
have 17 ducks?
And I was like, no, I did notrealize we have 17 ducks.
But we do.
We have two turkeys that we'regoing to keep for pets, um, just
to sort of be as mascots.
Let them run around, let themlook cute when people come to
visit, Just to sort of be asmascots, let them run around,
let them look cute when peoplecome to visit.
And all of those Muscovies wemay process.
(06:29):
I don't know if any is a female, then I will keep a breeding
pair Because my understanding isthat they're really good
mothers and they're veryprolific when they start to
breeding.
So we'll see how that goes.
But they're really big, so Ibet they would make really good
meat and I'm looking forward tothat.
I'm looking forward to tryingsome Pekin duck.
(06:49):
I've heard a lot of people saythat they like that a lot better
because it's a lot milder meat.
Me personally, I have not eatenthat.
I have One of the speaking offoods I don't normally eat.
I've also learned that I likelamb.
I had some lamb that Nicolegave me, that I cooked.
(07:10):
But then I also had lamb chopsat the wedding that we were at a
couple of weeks ago in Coloradoand they were like, really like
not grocery store tasting lambchops.
Those were fantastic.
So we decided we're going toget some sheep, so that may be
on the horizon for next year.
That's pretty much all theupdates for me as of right now.
(07:34):
There's not really.
It's just so hot.
I'm not really doing a wholelot.
The bees I've lost one beehive,the other one doesn't have a
whole lot of activity.
I'm feeling like a failure as awhole lot.
The bees I've lost one beehive,the other one doesn't have a
whole lot of activity.
I'm feeling like a failure as abeekeeper.
Of course, it's my first yearand that tends to be how I learn
(07:54):
is I fail and I fail and I failand I fail, until I figure out
why I failed and failed, andfailed and failed and then I
will just be awesome at it.
From that point forward, Inever know everything about all
things or about anything, butfailure tends to be my best
teacher and it makes meunderstand why we do things the
(08:17):
way that we do things.
Hopefully I won't lose thatother hive in the process,
though I have a friend comingover Monday.
It's going to open up the hivewith me and just double check
Because I know there's thingsI'm supposed to be doing.
In late July, going into August,I didn't get any honey.
I wasn't anticipating gettingany honey this year.
(08:38):
I'm hoping I'll get honey nextyear.
We shall see.
I'm hoping I'll get honey nextyear.
We shall see.
And if I can just get enough,you know, for our family and our
friends and our local communitypeople who are constantly
asking me when I'm going to havehoney, that would be really,
really good.
So I'm really excited about it.
Plus, I use it for a lot of mymedicinal stuff.
Like, I went through fivegallons of honey last year.
(09:00):
No, I went through two buckets,10 gallons of honey last year,
making elderberry syrup andmaking fire cider and then
making cough syrups and you knowall of the kind of stuff.
I put it in ice cream, as youknow, as an alternative to just
straight up sugar.
So there's lots that I do withhoney.
(09:22):
It's really good as anantiseptic on the skin.
You know stuff like that.
So hopefully, fingers crossed,we'll see.
Hopefully I won't be an utterbee failure, we'll see.
That is literally it as far aswhat's going on the farm
Saturday this coming up.
Saturday I have a workshop.
(09:44):
It is our last Beginner'sCanning Workshop of the season.
So if you're hearing this andit's not later than Saturday,
july the 27th, you can stillcome.
We are doing tomatoes Wonderwhy?
And I'm going to teacheverybody how to blanch them,
(10:06):
how to do whole tomatoes, how todo sauce tomatoes, how to make
salsa.
If they want to, we'll talkabout salsas.
We may not make salsa.
I'm not sure we may.
That might be kind of fun, butI'm really looking forward to it
.
Every time we have a canningworkshop it is so much fun and
it always turns out to be somuch better than I thought it
(10:27):
was going to be, and it's alwaysbetter than the last one.
So you know, if there'sanything that you want to learn,
check out our website.
The different workshops andclasses that I teach, we have
usually five to six throughoutthe season.
It's hard to do more than that.
Just because it's a farm Like,there's things that need to be
(10:48):
done.
So I have a hard time, you know, and I want to schedule it on
Saturdays because most peoplework Monday through Friday.
So, but at any rate, just checkout our website and you can see
the schedule.
Remaining schedule for the year.
Sunday is our Dixon CountyHomesteaders Alliance group.
I'm really excited about that.
We're doing a repeat of homedistilling for personal use, you
(11:11):
know, not for, not for resale,not where we're going to have
the sheriff knocking on our door, but just, you know, to teach
people that.
You know you can distill ifever need be.
You can distill water.
You know you can distill allkinds of stuff, but yeah, I use
it for tinctures.
It's not.
I'm not a drinker, I don'tdrinks give me headaches.
(11:31):
I can't even.
You know, I can't even enjoy aglass of wine anymore without an
awful headache.
So you know that's not a reasonfor me to want to distill
anything, but I'm fascinated byit.
I think it is such a cool skillto have and, again, it's a
solvent.
So we use it.
For, you know, when we havemedicinal stuff and we want to
(11:54):
make it super strong, we put ourherb in the watered down.
You know, moonshineine, we halfit by proof.
You know, bring the proof downabout to half, so that you know,
so we can get it to about 90proof and that way we can get
the most out of that herb, themost medicinal properties of
(12:16):
that herb that we possibly can.
Now that we got all the updatesout of the way, I'm just gonna
hop right into our topic.
So today's topic is the turnkeylife versus the fixer-upper
life, and this has been on mymind a lot lately, just because
(12:36):
we have so many young'uns in ourfamily getting married my
nieces and nephews and my son'sgetting married in September and
my daughter's had her firstbaby.
And you know, we have twograndkids from our older one,
but they've only been married acouple of years and they're in
that phase where everything is astruggle.
(12:57):
And I think that, well, firstof all, let's just talk about
the difference in what turnkeytechnically means and what fixer
upper technically means.
You know, if you think about aturnkey life, you think about
walking right into the perfecthouse that has just been built,
(13:21):
with brand new appliances andnever walked on, floors and
fresh paint, and you knoweverything is perfect and the
backyard has the privacy fenceand the pool.
That's turnkey.
That's walking right in andeverything is set up for you the
fixer-upper is not so much.
(13:43):
The fixer-upper requiresimagination.
You have to be able to problemsolve and you have to be able to
think outside the box sometimes, and that's what you know the
fixer upper house is.
It's definitely what our fixerupper house is and work in
progress.
But you think of that in termsof life when you're young and
(14:09):
you're fresh out of the gate andyou're just getting married,
starting a family.
I feel like a lot of youngpeople now and maybe it was this
way decades ago.
I don't know.
I'm only giving you myobservation and I'm definitely
not saying that this is right orwrong.
I'm not saying I'm right orwrong.
(14:30):
I'm not saying anybody else isright or wrong.
So I just wanted to give you aperspective and a little
something to think about.
So the young people, I feellike when they first get married
, they want all the things Likethey want everything that their
parents have, but took them 30years to get.
(14:51):
And you know, because kids wereyounger when their parents were
struggling, I think they don'trealize or have that memory of
the tough years of and you knowsome parents hide that from
their children.
They don't let them know thatthings are tough.
(15:12):
They don't involve them in theyou know, the family, financials
or anything else, and so theydon't necessarily see all that.
But most people's lives who havea successful life together is
not necessarily the turnkey,it's not necessarily the walk
(15:34):
into it and everything isperfect.
And I'm not saying that theturnkey life can't be great, I'm
just saying it's not necessary.
And there's a lot of value thatcomes from walking into the
fixer upper life.
Walking into the fixer upperlife not having everything at
(16:10):
first, struggling wondering howyou're going to do this or that
and denying yourself yourimpulses, figuring out how to
problem solve together it's oneof those things that just the
fixer-upper life takes time andit takes effort and maybe even
some sweat equity, you know, tomake it get to where you want it
to be.
But you know the upside ofhaving the fixer-upper life
you're not walking into aready-made life for you means
(16:32):
that you can mold your life intowhatever you want that to be.
And in my opinion, because Ihave done that and I'm on the
more of the coasting side, I'mstill building.
But now I know my vision.
I have my vision and there'ssomething rewarding in that If
(16:53):
you take the time to reallythink through who you are, who
you want to be, and not whatyour preconceived life has said
that you have to be.
There's a lot of freedom inthat, whereas you know you walk
(17:17):
into the turnkey life, so tospeak, a lot of times.
You're from very wealthy parentsand a lot of times everything
is set up for you College wasset up for you.
A lot of times parents you knowwealthy parents will pay the
down payment or pay buy thehouse for the young couple, but
(17:39):
they didn't work for anything.
They didn't have any personalemotional investment in anything
as a couple.
They didn't work towardsanything together.
And I'm not saying that's bad.
I wish I could buy every one ofmy kids' houses.
I wish I could buy them athree-story 10,000-square-foot
(18:02):
house, every last one of them,and put them right here on the
farm with me.
But I can't do that.
And it's just.
You know it's not practical toeven think like that for me, and
it's just you know it's notpractical to even think like
that for me.
But when you do that together,the number one thing that comes
from that together starting out,not having everything digging
(18:23):
and scratching and clawing yourway through life in the
beginning is growth.
You grow together and thefixer-upper life encourages
continuous growth, continuousevolving and continuous learning
.
And you're doing that together,as a family, as a couple.
(18:46):
You know, when you work towardsyour goals and you're
supporting each other, youdevelop a resilience Like you
get stronger and you gainproblem-solving skills like
real-life problem-solving skills.
You get a deeper appreciationfor you know who you are and for
(19:10):
the end result.
And it's not just about thedestination.
It's not about ending up inthat perfect 6,000 to 10,000
square foot house with theperfect car and the 2.2 kids and
the two doodles.
And it's not about that part ofit.
It's about the journey.
It's about the journey gettingthere and there's a lot of
(19:36):
memories to be made for youngcouples getting there, walking
that journey together.
There's a lot of personalfulfillment in it.
You know, when you achievesomething through your own hard
work and it's not handed to you,you know and you got your own
grit and your own determinationit gives you more of a sense of
(19:59):
accomplishment.
You know it's the differencebetween inheriting a big old
fortune from mommy and daddywhich is fine, again, fine, wish
I had it to give or buildingyour own business from the
ground up, like if you builtthat business with your hands
(20:19):
and then you become amultimillionaire, that means a
lot more to you than someonehanding you an inheritance that
you did nothing to earn.
That you did nothing to earn.
There's a lot of customizationand control.
When you we call it with SelfReliance Festival, nicole and
all of us all of us havedifferent terms for it, but the
(20:43):
basic of it is when you becomeself-reliant, it's lifestyle
design and it's what you want itto be.
When you start out from scratch,you get to design your life.
You get to design who's in it.
You get to design every part ofit.
(21:04):
How much time you spend doingthis, how much time you spend
doing that, where you want tolive, how you want to live, do
you want to grow your own food?
Do you want to live in the city?
It is all about design.
You design it how you want itto be.
You can make decisions thatdirectly affect your outcomes
and it gives you a sense ofownership over your life.
(21:27):
Nobody made you do it.
Nobody pushed you to do it.
It was not something that youwalked into.
This is yours.
It's yours and yours alone.
There's a lot to say for valueand effort.
When everything's handed to you, it can be easy to take things
(21:48):
for granted, and working towardsyour goals helps you to
understand the value of effortand the importance of
perseverance.
You persevere, you overcome,you make it happen and there's a
lot to be said for that and italso teaches you to appreciate
and take care of the things thatyou have, because you worked
(22:11):
hard to get it and you don'twant to tear it up, you don't
want to not maintain it, youdon't want to not take care of
it, because you have personalinvestment in it.
It builds character.
When you are doing things hard,you know you do the hard thing.
It makes you a better person,no-transcript.
(22:39):
You learn how to handlesetbacks, manage stress, you
bounce back from failures, andthese experiences are invaluable
and they shape who you are,they shape everything about you,
and you do it together.
Again, that's the fixer-upperlife for the couples.
(23:00):
Everything binds you togetherBecause each person evolves
right Like I'm evolving.
I'll be different in a year,probably, than I am now.
I'm different way, differentnow than I was three years ago.
But that energy of problemsolving together, of problem
(23:26):
solving together, of strugglingtogether, of figuring out how
you're going to do it togethercreates an interwoven I don't
know how to explain it it's likean interwoven energy between
the two of you.
A bond that's the word I waslooking for A bond between you
in those shared experiences andthose shared moments that make
(23:46):
you stronger as a couple andinevitably, more than likely,
will keep you together.
I believe that people who learnto problem solve together are
the ones that stay together, youknow, the ones that stay
married and don't end updivorced.
(24:08):
And I'm not throwing stones,I've been there, done that, but
I learned from it and I learnedwhat I did wrong and I am, you
know, with T.
I have fixed a lot not fixedeverything, nobody can but I
fixed a lot of that, and so Ijust think that having those
(24:33):
moments together is reallydevalued in today's society.
I think society looks at you asyou got to have this and you
got to have that, and if youdon't, it's a status thing.
To me, status thing is havingthe life that you want, whatever
(24:59):
that is, and understanding thatnothing worth having comes easy
.
You might not have the money tomake the down payment on that
house.
You're getting married.
Everybody else has a house.
You want a house.
You want the white picket fence, and that's okay.
(25:19):
It's okay to dream about thosethings, but it's not okay to let
that consume.
You Learn to enjoy the momentand find value in those moments,
because one day I know all usold folks say it, but I promise
(25:39):
you it's true One day you willlook back on those moments as
the best of your life and youwill understand how all of those
difficult moments bring you towhere you are, when you're
looking at your grandchildren oryou're looking at your
(25:59):
great-grandchildren and you'resitting with that person by your
side and then you're thinkingback on the life you built.
I'm going to wrap this up andkeep this not a super long one
today, but just remember youngfolks, because I know I have
young folks listening to me andI love you.
(26:20):
I'm so glad you're on thishealth food, natural food
journey and I'm so glad you'rethinking about how to design
your life and how to keep theindustrial food system out of
your refrigerator and out ofyour stomach.
I'm just so thankful for that.
And so I'm really speaking toyou, to the young folks who are
(26:42):
just maybe.
You know, less than 10 years ofmarriage is still tough.
It's the hard part, it's thereally hard part.
But just remember, y'all, thejourney is just as important as
the destination, if not more so,and you are literally carving
(27:04):
out your path in life.
Keep pushing, keep trying, keepleaning on each other, keep
problem solving.
I have told my kids since theywere old enough to talk to me,
and they always joked and said Iwas going to put it over the
(27:26):
door, you know, going outbecause my kids would complain
about a problem that they had.
But life is a series ofproblems that you have to solve.
Once you solve one, there willbe another, and when you learn
to communicate and learn to dothat together, beautiful things
(27:48):
happen.
So with that, thank you fortuning in.
I hope that you've enjoyedtoday's podcast.
I hope it gives you somethingto think about so that you don't
feel less than because you'renot less than.
You don't have less or needmore.
You're going to get there andit's going to be okay.
(28:09):
I know it takes more to doright now because of the way
that things are, but thingsalways work out in the end and
it's going to be fine.
When the time is right, thestars will align and you will
slowly but surely continue tobuild and to build and to build,
(28:32):
until one day you wake up andyou'll be like, wow, this is
cool.
I hope that you'll leave me areview.
Hit that subscribe button.
It helps other people to findour podcast and you can find me
(28:55):
at just the Gorham Homestead.
Reach out to me on social media.
I'm there and I try to answer.
It's not anybody else doingthat for me.
I'm also on other socials asthe Gorham Homestead and my
website is thegorhamhomesteadcom.
That's where I have myworkshops and things produce
that I have for sale.
So check out what we got goingover there and just remember
(29:18):
y'all.
Whatever you're doing today,just keep it real.
See y'all, we'll be right back.
(29:43):
I may not come from much, butI've got just enough.
As long as my baby's in my armsand the good Lord knows what's
(30:13):
in my heart, I refuse to beashamed.
It's just a southern thing.
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