September 25, 2024 • 36 mins
Ever wondered how a road trip in a Lazy Days motorhome and a hilarious misreading of "Flo Rida" could make for an unforgettable podcast episode? Join Andrew and me as we celebrate our 50th milestone by reminiscing about our podcasting journey. We also dive into some lighthearted banter about our Wordle addiction and those amusing slip-ups that make life all the more interesting. And don't miss the laugh-out-loud story of a Catchphrase game that solidified my relationship with Emily.
Brace yourself for an adventurous detour as we take you through the swamps of Florida, where our encounters with exotic birds and fearless locals fishing near alligators had us both awestruck and amused. Listen as we humorously dissect the legend of evading gators by zigzagging and draw some unexpected parallels to wartime tactics of the Queen Mary. Just when we thought our journey couldn't get any crazier...
Our adventure takes a chaotic turn when our motorhome is rear-ended, leaving our pooper tank in a precarious state. Picture the fire department cleaning up the mess and a local celebrity named Elio bringing some comic relief amidst the chaos. With the help of a tow truck driver, we managed to salvage the situation and continue our journey, albeit with a newfound wariness of Florida's red fire ants. Tune in next week to see where our travels take us next, but for now, buckle up and enjoy the ride!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Thank you once again for clicking the button, hitting
play and getting the sweet,smooth sounds of the Kings of
the Road intro.
Where you are with me, scottHawkins, and him, andrew Gare,
as we are journeying in a LazyDays motorhome across the
country serving churches,sleeping in Walmart parking lots
, overall having a good time.
You get to hear this story andyou've been with us now for
(00:41):
almost 50 episodes, so weappreciate you, appreciate you
telling other people about itand looking forward to starting
our new Defender State series,which is coming up soon in a
couple of episodes.
But we are so glad to betogether and, andrew, welcome,
welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, thank you.
Thanks for having me.
It's a real pleasure to be aguest on this podcast today On
your podcast inside of ourRiverside recording studio.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Shout out to riverside.
Not a sponsor, but weappreciate you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, yeah, we appreciate you now that we're 50
episodes in, this is the bestplatform, right I mean it's
better than uh, I mean, it's theonly one we know no, we did a
clean feed at the beginning.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, yeah, yeah this is better.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
yeah, because we tried a clean feed at the
beginning.
Oh yeah, yeah, this is better?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, because we tried to Zoom for a little while
.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
True, yeah, riverside , we recommend it.
If you're getting in thepodcast world, go right to
Riverside Riversidefm, skip go.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
We've done the work for you.
You just need to go right toRiverside, because it is the
best, because good quality hasall sorts of fun tools, like
until this we've never been ableto do this, and then now we can
.
Hey, hey thanks riverside.
So we appreciate you.
So we're in florida so we're inflorida.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Um we sure are shoot.
There was something I was gonnasay this is a, this is uh about
my life about what?
About floridians?
No, not about floridians, Idon't know what it was it'll
come back to me sometime.
Benefits you know, one timewater speaking of different ways
(02:15):
to pronounce florida fluoride,yeah, uh, I.
I had a, a lady that I knewonce and she I had to go down
and send her something or go toher house to drop something off.
I don't remember what it was,but I looked at her address and
I was like Mary, she lives on.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Flo Rida Street.
Flo Space Rida.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
That's what, like my mind just thought, is Flo Rida
like the rapper?
And Mary just looks at me likethat's not even a funny joke and
I'm like what do you?
What do you mean funny joke?
Like she lives on.
Oh, she's like you mean florida.
And I was like oh, yes, yes,florida, yes, I do, yes, you
ever, you ever have that where?
Like your brain just seessomething a certain way and like
(02:58):
you can't realize that like oh,obviously that's wrong do you
play wordle?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
sometimes I do like wordle.
It's a great game.
But there have been times whenyou're like trying to think it
out loud and you're saying theword and you're like chef, chefy
, chief, chief.
Oh, that is a word, okay yeah,but like you're not.
You're like you like mess up thevowels and you're practicing
other sounds with them andyou're seeing this word that any
(03:23):
other time you would go oh,that's chief, of course.
Yeah, chief, easy, yeah.
One time I was driving andEmily we were driving and she
was playing the wordle for me,so she was like filling the
letters, you know, just to killsome time.
And I was like okay, put thisin.
And then I'm like making upwords and saying them out loud
(03:45):
and I fully said the, the word,but I just said it a different
way and she's listening to me.
I think it was that I was likechif and she's like I'm like I
just have to, let me go on.
And finally it's like oh, she'sright, right, right if I could
see it.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's just so funny, yes your brain gets.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Your brain gets caught in certain things.
That's what's great about thatcatchphrase game is that your
brain gets caught, yeah, youknow.
And then, like, you're down onepath of of that and you can't
imagine another way of thinkingabout the thing, yeah, so it's
like um, have I told mycatchphrase story on the podcast
?
I don't know if if have.
(04:23):
Do you know it?
I've said it to you before.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I don't know, tell me .
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Okay, this is a.
If you're listening with kids,we need to just at least pause
it for a moment because you guyscan come back in a little bit.
But I first met Emily and wewent out to dinner and then we
went back to her house with herfriends to do some games.
It was her birthday and we wereback at her house and all of
(04:49):
her friends were UCLA.
They're in frat sororities.
I'm like you, pastor Scott,right, all I've done is the
church since I was 18.
So I'm like, oh, not as cool,don't have my fraternity stuff
on.
And it's me and this other guyand we play catchphrase.
Him and I, um, and we're theboys versus the girls.
It's like three girls, two guys.
So that's how that's how it is,yeah, yeah.
So we, we play the game.
It's beeping at us and theother guy has it and he's
(05:12):
looking at me.
He's going scrotum, not jack uhballs.
And he's just looking at me, atthe eye.
He's just repeating thesethings over and over again and
in my head I'm going oh man,there's some cool word for
scrotum that I don't knowBecause I wasn't a fraternity.
(05:32):
I don't know any of thesethings.
They never taught me this inyouth pastor school.
Oh whatever, and he just can'tget off of it.
Right, he's just honed in onthat.
And then it goes off and he'slike oh man, and his girlfriend
who was there?
She's like dude, what was theword?
He's like tea bag and hisgirlfriend the girlfriend now
(05:57):
wife looks at him, goes.
You never thought hot waterdipping in english breakfast
beverage, I know he's like, yeah, straight to, straight to ball
sack and the whole, I did feelbetter.
Okay.
Good, I do know what a t-backis.
There's a lot of different waysthat he could have gone there,
(06:18):
but he got honed in on that one.
Oh yeah.
I was like, oh, oh man, butthat was a moment that I yeah,
that, that I just thought yeah,when your brain gets stuck, when
you get, yeah, you go down anavenue.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
You don't have reverse why don't you?
And then you get mad why don'tyou get it?
Why don't you get it?
Everyone does yeah, yeah, hotbeverage dipping.
Yeah, there's a lot yeah oh mygosh, yeah, you're just like,
I'm going a hundred.
You gotta admire the personwho's like all or nothing, baby.
Yes, well, and we're going thisgood about that, right like
you're.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Just you're there, that's where you are.
You can't imagine another thing.
Yeah, someone's like, whatabout this?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
oh, that's, that's a really good other direction
actually yeah, yeah, whenthere's a timer and it's beeping
at you, you're just just likeoh, this, this, this, this, this
.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I love that game though it's so easy to play.
Everyone enjoys it.
It's a great game.
Yeah, that is a good game.
Okay, florida, that is a goodgame.
All right, we're in Floridahere.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
So what I had forgotten?
That I remembered Scott, Ithink.
Happy anniversary, I think it'sbeen a year now hasn't it did
we start?
In September.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was thinking that too.
Yeah, we're close to that.
Well, we launched in September,I think.
Yeah, because we recorded allsummer to the head of it.
Now we are not ahead of itanymore.
But yeah, I know, I thought thesame thing actually.
Yeah, we should have a lavacake, I love a lava cake.
To the head of it.
Now we are not ahead of itanymore.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
But yeah, I know, I thought the same thing, that's
right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Hey, yeah, we should have a lava cake.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I love a lava cake yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Hot chocolate on the middle.
Just don't let go the wholetime, it's only nine seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Luckily, because if I had chosen this one, this one's
36 seconds.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh, thank you, stop it, stop it.
Thank you, we.
We appreciate all of yoursupport listeners.
Oh my, oh my gosh, I'moverwhelmed.
No one can see, okay, all rightwell where are we in the world?
Yeah, we're in florida.
We knew that it's day 61.
It's saturday, it is November27th 2004.
Another lovely day at the pool.
This time we met Rita and mynew elder crush, holly it might
(08:37):
have been the other way around,I'm not sure At the pool and
played some dominoes with them.
Nice.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
We did some laundry, played some catch.
That's about it.
Really, we were just chillingin South Florida and that's it.
That's it.
That's our Saturday, and that'swhat a Saturday should be, am I
right?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
A Saturday in South Florida?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Absolutely, that's right Playing dominoes with some
attractive older women Doingyour laundry, playing a little
catch by the pool.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
That does sum it up actually.
Yeah, playing dominoes withsome attractive older women,
there you go.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
There you go, there you go, not ashamed to admit it.
Yeah, I was ahead of my time,you were ahead of your time.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
All right you were.
When you're 75, you'll be ableto circle back and do it again.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm like those were the good old days.
So let's move on.
Then shall we to day 62.
Which, scott?
Yes, day 62, sunday 11-28-04.
One of the most Was that, yourstomach.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oh, really, you heard that.
It's that that was inside mystomach.
Yes, wow, your microphone isamazing, I guess, so I need to
turn the gain down.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I wonder if that's going to come across.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I just heard like this dinosaur in the distance
yes, I'm like, don't worry, theyjust eat plants.
What?
That was 100% my stomach.
Well, done.
That was amazing hyper x foranother thing.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I'd also like to thank my sponsor, sony noise
canceling headphones, for theamazing sound delivered straight
into my brain, straight intoyour brain, that you can never
my goodness um.
So today was an extra, it was a, it was pivotal day, a turning
point in the road trip.
We knew this day was coming.
We knew this day was comingSome might say this is the
(10:31):
reason, or part of the reason,for our feelings towards Florida
Sure maybe Probably Probably ittaints it.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It definitely yeah, oh, it's really.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You're in for free today Was taint a word that the
guy used to try to describe ateabag.
Sorry if your children weretuned back in, apologies for
that word.
Oh gosh, that's a weird dirtyword.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
That's a weird word.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
All right, here's what we're going to do, scott.
Okay, I'm going to read alittle bit, okay, and then we're
going to do some.
What Do you Remember?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Okay, and then we're going to do some.
What Do you Remember?
And then we're going to finishit out.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, okay, hit me All right.
As lovely as it was at Steveand Janet's, it was time to get
back on the road.
Steve and Janet drove us downto the storage yard where our
coach was waiting, and they sawus off Because, if you remember,
our coach was not allowed intheir community because it was
not deemed attractive enough.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, I don't know, it's not allowed.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
We headed down south and east in order to make it to
our destination, Fiesta Key.
Oh, I was ready.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I was pumped about this.
I know this was okay, keepbreathing.
I was pumped, man.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
We were- going to go to the Keys.
We were so pumped, yeah, soready.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
so this was okay.
Keep reading.
I was pumped, man.
We're going to go to the keyswe had.
Yeah, so ready, so ready.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
The road to get there goes right through the
Everglades of Southern Florida.
We saw tons of interestingbirds but I wasn't seeing any
gators.
That changed soon enough towhere every minute or so, I
would see another.
I feel like I remember justgator gator and we'd point him
out.
Um, there was water surroundingthe road we were on, like a
(12:12):
small river or a canal on thebrushy banks or where the gators
sat sunbathing and it was justso cool.
It was crazy because peoplewould be fishing on the banks in
these waters, not worried, yeah, and, and some were no more
than 20 yards from these gators,like there were people out
(12:33):
there, just fishing gators allaround them, and like it was no
big deal, they were just we wewere very afraid of the gators,
but they were.
Yeah, yeah, they were not, I'mlike they must.
I guess when you're on landyou're pretty safe, cause it
can't run that fast, or still, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's right.
I, what's the one?
Fast know about evading thegator running zigzags yes.
Does everybody know this, or isit just because?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
we've both been to gator land and did we learn it?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Well, yeah, they want to fall.
That's my only still set I have.
Yeah.
And how far my zits at like?
Probably five, eight yards, andthen left and then five, eight,
I don't know.
I want to be sure they're farenough.
I don't have the gator to gothe straight line between the
zigs yeah, I don't know, Ididn't ever hear that bit of
detail.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I just I heard run in a zigzag and I'm like it'll fit
, like a two-step zigzag.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
It's not gonna be helpful.
Going to be helpful, I mean,you need to do it.
That's what I've always thought.
Okay, I need like at least 10yards that way and then 10 yards
that way, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Funny enough, I heard a story once while doing a
visit on the Queen Mary, yeah,which was painted gray and
called the Gray Ghost, duringWorld War II, transporting
people back and forth or was itworld war one anyways to
(13:52):
crossing the atlantic during a,yeah, okay, yeah, it was built
in the 30s, I think, so one ofthe things that it would do to
evade being hit by enemytorpedoes is it?
would zigzag across the atlantic, oh man, and for some reason
that was a way to avoid beinghit.
I would think that would almostmake it easier to hit you well,
not easier, but I think thesame thing.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So I was like you're going that, oh wait, oh darn.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Oh yeah, got it.
Somebody wasn't like what if wejust wait till they turn back
this direction?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No, they're kind of right, you're just in Germany
brave people.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
We also saw sites that said watch for, oh yeah,
panthers, yes, panther crossing,panther crossing, it was an odd
place, but it is florida, allright, we had a bet didn't we?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
well, this is the thing where you looked at me and
you said if we see a panthercrossing the road, I will take
my pants off above my head andswing them around.
You know, panther?
Yeah, and we never did see apanther crossing the road.
I will take my pants off abovemy head and swing them around.
You know, panther?
Yeah, and we never did see apanther.
But also, I think since then,we both have learned that, um,
all of the north american largecats are the same, with just
(15:05):
different names, and this makesthe makes it less sexy, because
a panther, a puma, a cougar, amountain lion, and uh, what's
the other one?
Like a meerkat?
No, it's not a meerkat, it's afunny name in virginia.
Um, but they're all the samething, they just have different
names.
Yeah, and so, like, if it's amountain lion crossing, it'd be
like, oh, what's a mountain liondoing in the jungle?
(15:27):
But we thought like baloo orwhichever, with the black
panther from jungle book was.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
That's what we had in our brain, which is a different
, thing, the totally different.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
thing.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Well, I mean, it was a yellow sign with a picture of
a black Panther.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
You're right, you saying they just have one color,
and so I think maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Maybe it was.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Brown.
You think it was Brown, I do.
I think it's exactly like amountain lion.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That's what I mean.
I think it's just like I don'tknow.
They're just all the same.
They're all the same.
Panther yeah, the ones inflorida, though.
They wear like wife beater tanktops and chains.
Yeah, smoke crystal meth, yeahfor sure um.
We did not see any panthers.
However, panthers may have seenus.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Well done, sir Stealthy cats they are.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm on my game today.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We're taping in front of a live studio audience today
.
Speaking of panthers, I thinkmy tiny panther just opened the
door behind me.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It did.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
She's a smart little panther Figured that out.
So we made it through the swampand saw no Panthers,
unfortunately, but we did seedozens of Gators.
The road took us past Miami andonto us one, the other one
which leads to the keys.
The other one, or is it us, I,I don't know, no one knows the
(16:51):
other one, or is it USI?
I don't know, no one knows,probably one.
The first of the Keys is calledKey Largo, and we nearly made
it there, Almost did, butsuddenly traffic stopped.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
What do you remember?
All?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
right scott.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
So I'm driving and you're in the passenger seat and
, yes, I am going.
And we're so excited, we're inour board shorts and our
flip-flops.
We are ready to go, we areready to experience the teas.
We only have one night planned.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Key Largo.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
We'll get down there.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Key Summit.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Ooh, I want a ticket, but I don't have a ticket, but
we never made it because Iturned the corner.
Traffic light or brake lightsyeah, all sorts of brake lights,
and I'm not going unreasonablyfast, I'm going at a normal
speed and I see them all and Iimmediately jam on the brakes.
Remember, this is the one.
So it's only two roads, onegoing one way, one going the
(17:53):
other way.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Two lanes, two lanes, yes, stop.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
There's enough time to stop.
And I look over to you and Imight say something like whew,
that was close.
And as those come out of mymouth, may I just interject for
a moment, sir Scott.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yes, yes, when you slam on the brakes in a
motorhome, oh, imagine slammingon the brakes in your house.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yes, kitchen cabinets , cutlery, anything that isn't
like weighted down Doors areflying open Cabinet doors are
flying open Like you don't justslam on the brakes.
Luckily you're not sleeping inthe upper bunk, or else that
would have been a whole otherexperience.
I would have shot right out thefront of the cab Slam on the
brakes, I look over to you.
(18:42):
Oh, that was close.
At that point we hear crash andthen we feel a boom and we're
like uh-oh, what just happened?
And we pull over Shorts,flip-flops, we're ready.
We're so ready and there areone car slammed into another car
(19:07):
which pushed that car into ourmotorhome, and we're looking
around, around and there is bluewater everywhere that we are
stepping in with our flip-flops.
On the road, not like the oceanaround us, but on the road and
you and I are both pretty goodwith cars and we know enough and
(19:29):
we're kind of pondering, likewhat is blue in a car?
It's not radiator fluid, it'snot oil, it's certainly not oil
yeah, we.
We were thinking, oh, maybethere's blue radiator fluid, but
then it was like a lot of it,though there's a lot, something
popped, what, and I feel like itwas pretty close to the same
(19:51):
time that you and I bothrealized oh no, the car that got
pushed underneath us, the backtank of our motorhome is our
pooper tank and it was smallenough and went right up under
our motorhome, hit our poopertank, our motorhome hit our
pooper tank and our pooper tankwhich had been sitting in front
(20:14):
of Janet and Uncle Steve'sstorage locker.
it exploded all over Highway 1.
And the car that hit it and theabsolute certainty of what we
were seeing was when we saw allthe little white toilet paper
bundles.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, what are all these little white clumps?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Clumps in this car's fluid and we both go.
We're walking in flip-flops inour pooper tank water, which is
now all over the freeway, and westand there and the tow truck
comes, the paramedics come,everyone shows up, the whole,
(20:58):
all of T Largo shows up.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, okay, grant, this is a road that is like the
road from the mainland Floridato the Keys and we've stopped it
now and we've stopped it.
It is one of the lanes of thetwo is done is, there's nowhere
to pull off.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
So we pull off and while we're standing there in
our flip-flops, pondering,wondering what's going on,
realize we've been hit,realizing our pooper tank is all
over I don't remember which one, you or I we start to get a
tingling, tingling sensationsomewhere ankle and below.
And I don't remember who it was.
(21:37):
If it was you or I would see ifit's in the, if it's in the
notes.
Yeah, we look and we're talkingto somebody who is a local
resident.
I feel like she's a tow truckdriver, I feel like it's a woman
at this point and like what'sgoing on, what's happening?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
same lady from banger maine is now.
Is the tow truck?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
yeah, and we know what is going on what's
happening and somehow, I think,she tells us like oh, you're
standing in a pile of fire antsyes, fire ants biting our feet.
I'm pretty sure it was both ofus.
I know it was at least me.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Oh, I remember vividly.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
And, guys, if you haven't been bit by a fire ant
it's not like just when they usethe word fire ant, it is
because it feels like you havebeen bitten by the devil himself
has entered your body.
It is shockingly painful.
I mean, do you remember howlike?
It's not just like, oh,irritating, oh mosquito bite, oh
(22:34):
no, it's like what in the devilis going on in my feet?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
right now.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And they were all over.
So not only do we have the bluewater to avoid, we have the
fire ants that we're looking toavoid, and so we go inside and
change into our shoesImmediately Socks and shoes
Immediately Socks and shoesCover up yeah.
Immediately Socks and shoes.
Immediately Socks and shoescover up yeah.
So now I want you to add things, because there's still one very
(23:01):
important piece.
I don't remember, but parts ofit.
Okay, when are you at right now?
What do you want to add intoyour memoir?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Well, I don't, I know what you're thinking and I
don't want to steal that thunder.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
You can yes.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yes, this is the scenario.
We hear it.
Traffic stops, screech BoomBoom, car gets pushed into us.
So the car in the middle iscrunched, got hit in the back.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, accordion style .
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah and pushed into us.
Their front's all jacked up.
Our pooper tank is dangling offthe back of the motorhome.
It's not completely knocked off, it's like the tube that
connects it from the toilet tothe tank is like still holding
it on.
But like half of it's on theground, half of it's not, so we
can't drive the motorhome.
No, we, just we got to the sideof the road, we can't go
(23:51):
anywhere we got it off to theside of the road.
Yeah, tow truck shows up, fireants show up, fire ants show up.
We're, we're changed.
There's like go for it because,because it's so, you gotta do
it.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
The fire department comes and the fire department
figures out and we're, we gotfigured out by the fire
department goes, uh, parentalwarning, remember, these are
firemen who say this.
They look to each other andthey say their shitter tank gets
bloated all over the freewayand they spray down the whole
road and let all that go offMeanwhile.
(24:29):
And I do not remember his name,but I really.
What's his name?
Give me his name.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me see if I.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
You had to have written it down.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, give me a second, keep going, I'll.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'll read through the guy who was in the first car,
who hit the middle car that hitus.
He is like it feels to us likea key celebrity because, oh,
yeah everyone who drives byknows this guy and they like see
him.
And they're like, hey, and he'slike, hey, man, they're like you
hit someone else.
He's like, yeah, hit.
(24:58):
And they're just chatting aseveryone's driving by and we're
like who is this guy?
Who everyone knows?
He immediately lights up acigar standing on the side of
the road elio, elio lights up acigar, everybody honk, honk, hey
, hey, hey yeah, just waving ateverybody.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, fire department's doing their thing.
Pulls out a cigar, lights it upin the middle of a traffic
accident scene, high-fivingpeople as they go by like, hey,
another one, yes, what else?
Speaker 1 (25:31):
and he's just laughing, he's having a great
time.
Just like that's life in thet's.
This is life in the t's.
The fire department, though,just pissed at him.
They're like put that thing out.
We don't know if there's gasspill, we don't know what's
going on.
Like we have a motorhome, couldbe propane, like dude.
Yeah, he's like oh, and he putson his cigar.
I don't even think he put itout.
I think he just flicked it intothe bushes I'm done with you and
(25:55):
and we're just so we're.
We have elio there, fine, he'sfine, he thinks everything's
fine.
I think wasn't he like tryingto put.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I think he asked us like hey, help me pull out my
hood.
He's like I think it's fine.
It's fine.
So like we went over and wehelped him, like pull his hood
out so that like he could get itshut enough so that he could
drive his car.
I'm just not going to drive.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I'm going to be fine.
This is my third accident thisweek.
We're good.
Just push it down a little bit.
And the middle car I think thatwas a woman, maybe it was two.
Yeah, she was not happy aboutthis at all.
She was not used to being hit,nor would I.
It was scary for her probably.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
She tank exploded all over her.
She's imagine that.
Imagine that it's like goingdown tidal wave at magic
mountain back in the 90s, likejust she's thinking blue water
cascading over your windshield,she's the upper windows, what's?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
happened?
Is this heaven blue blue coming?
at me is this the light of whichI see oh, it's their pooper
tank, it's exploding all overyour car.
Great, hopefully her windowswere open.
Oh, never thought that's whatI'm saying.
Yeah, I know it's like oh man,sorry, lady, right, sorry about
that.
We're stuck with Elio.
And then we don't know what todo at this point.
(27:06):
But we do have tools, we dohave tools, we do have tools.
And so we say to the tow truckdriver if we saws all off our
bumper and our pooper tank,would you take it for us?
And so we can figure out whatto do.
And he's like is there yeah, doyou say something like I can't
do the work for you, but if youput it on my truck it'll go away
(27:28):
it was sort of like a wink anda nod because they were putting
the middle car on a flatbed andwe're like, yeah, if we and he
goes.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, he was like, if it ends up on the truck, I'll
take it away.
You know something along thoselines and we're like get to work
, and so we immediately got thesaw and the hammers out and
we're just like cutting the backhalf of the motorhome off,
cutting the bumpers off.
Yeah, I'm like we got to beable to drive away, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yes, yeah, I'm like we got to be able to drive away.
Yes, because luckily and thistruly is you think about it is
lucky.
As bad as that was, it couldhave been so much worse Because
we did all the work that neededto be done so we could drive
away without a problem, where Imean, if it had been like a
truck, it could have smashed in,it could have hit higher, it
(28:18):
went low and took out a bumperand our poop were changed.
But if it had been somethinghigher that pushed in the whole
back, yeah, who knows right soit wasn't that fast.
I mean to be fair, it wasn'tlike going who knows.
But again it was right, so muchbetter because we took care of
it and saws.
All in quick time we got thatoff, we had that on truck.
We're like, okay, we at leastcan drive now.
(28:38):
And the police department, thepolice officers, are like okay,
took our statements, everyone'sgood, everyone's safe.
Trauma Elio's great, he's fine.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Oh, he's probably been in so many accidents since
then.
Just that's what he does, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh my goodness, let's read it, let's hear the
original first.
That's pretty good that.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
That's how I remember it too, but let's, let's see
how it goes.
According to the officialrecord here, scott had to hit
the brakes pretty hard and westopped on time, but something
felt very wrong.
We heard a screech and then aboom, and then, fractions of a
second later, we felt a joltthat shoved us forward in our
seats.
Scott pulled over and we gotout to see what had happened.
(29:21):
In all honesty, I was a littleangry because I didn't want to
be hit, would you?
When I walked back, I saw asilver Hyundai that had been
absolutely destroyed.
The front was crumpled up andthe hood that had been thrust
into the wind.
Oh, the hood had been thrustinto the windshield.
(29:42):
Look like creased paper.
The back of the car had beenhit so hard that one of the
wheels was bent inward.
Oh man, beyond the silver carwas the green Accord that caused
the accident.
So it was a.
Honda yeah, green Honda Accord.
The front had some seriousdamage and the radiator looked
like a taco shell, but it wasn'tnearly as bad as the middle car
(30:05):
.
We noticed tons of blue fluidon the road and thought that car
sure leaked a lot of fluid.
It took us a second to realizethat fluid didn't come from that
car but a long gray tank thatlay on the highway next to it.
It was our pooper tank and allof its contents had been spilled
(30:27):
onto the highway.
Luckily, that blue chemicalstuff works really well, so I
don't think anybody realizedwhat it was.
Well, the firemen knew what itwas and they hosed it down
pretty quick.
Of course, the fellow thatcaused the accident spoke no
English and he had come up toScott shouting and using
gestures as if to say we hadcaused the accident.
(30:49):
Oh, I don't remember that.
Scott kept telling him hedidn't understand him, so he
backed off soon enough.
Lesson learned, kids If you'reever in an accident and
somebody's yelling at you, justsay I don't understand you, I
don't understand you, he'll goaway.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You have very good English.
For not understanding English.
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir, I don'tunderstand a word.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
you're saying I'm speaking English, I'm not
understanding you.
I do not understand any words.
These are the only words I know.
Miraculously, nobody seemed tobe injured too bad.
There was only one lady in themiddle car and she only had some
cuts on her hand.
Where?
the glass from the windshieldhit her.
Our Spanish-speaking pal wasokay and his wife was just shook
(31:30):
up a bit.
Oh, I didn't realize Elio'swife was in the car.
I guess we assumed it was herwife.
Do I didn't realize Elio's wifewas in the car?
I guess we assumed it was herwife.
Do we know for sure?
We don't know, of course not.
We like to call the causer ofthe accident Elio.
His name is something like that.
Oh, I guess we made that up.
He was an interesting guy.
Since we were all just standingaround, he decided to light up
(31:51):
a stogie.
The fire department didn't likethat much.
He also thought his car wasdrivable, so he asked us to help
him pry the hood open so hecould get it running.
And out of nowhere, about 10 ofhis friends and family members
show up to join in the party.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We took the party by the side of the road.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah.
So yeah, I think that we forgotto to mention that, but I think
he actually had people come bythat knew him to help him get
his car back roadworthy againthat does sound familiar, so I
guess maybe what I've translatedinto my mind like everyone
knows him was like the fact thata whole slew of people showed
up.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yes, he's from the t's, he's a t guy.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Oh, we were ready we were ready, you gotta.
You gotta love community rightI mean, oh hey my buddy, ilio or
something similar to that, justgot an accident.
Let's all stop what we're doingand help him get back to the
party.
Uh well, the party was over forus.
As we were standing on the sideof the road in our flip-flops,
we were attacked by red fireants.
(32:53):
These pests would crawl up ontoour feet and then actually bite
us.
Florida sucks I.
I smacked one off me and it hadbit me so hard I was bleeding
from it.
No, they're bad dude, they'rebad brand to put shoes on.
But that didn't even help toomuch.
I must have stepped on one ofthe anthills, because those
little bastards got all over myshoes and ankle.
(33:18):
Oh my gosh, those were the worst.
Oh those were terrible.
The motorhome seemed to be fineto drive.
It just had no waist tank orbumper.
Well, it did, but some wrenchesand saws all took care of that.
We asked the highway patrolofficer if we could do the
surgery to get it drivable.
He said sure, and I like youguys.
(33:39):
So we ripped off the bumper,the gray water tank and the sub
frame that used to hold it alltogether.
There was no need to cut offthe pooper tank, since it had
already been ripped off by theaccident.
We threw all that crap on thewrecker truck and got back on
(34:03):
the road.
We made it to Key Largo, butonly to turn around and go back
to Janet's With no toilet orshower.
The lazy days was greatlycrippled.
Walmart's had become a thing ofthe past.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I don't have a good sense.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Is there not a let's see what Transition 5?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
is.
Let's just hear what it is.
No, that's not it, that's notright.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
The Lazy Days was the Walmart's were a thing of the
past.
Do it again.
No, that's not it, that's notright.
The Lazy Days was the Walmartswere a thing of the past.
Do it again, okay.
No, you had to be.
You shouldn't have saidanything.
Okay, we're going to try thisagain.
Lazy Days oh, get ready, go.
Walmarts had become a thing ofthe past.
Too slow still.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Too slow, too slow, still too slow.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Okay, the button clicked to actually all right,
there's a little one that I want.
Um, oh yeah, I was filled withso much hope and excitement and
anticipation, I've still neverhave you.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
No, you haven't either.
No, no, I've never been to thecheese, never been back to miami
key largo, jamaica.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I've never been to the Keys.
I've never been back to Miami,key Largo, jamaica.
Come I'm gonna take you to thehideaway.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yeah, it's a great story.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Thanks a lot, Elio it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You're still around, Elio Sedars have taken you out
of your wife or somebody else.
We still remember you.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
The poor motor home.
What a dick.
Took it in the pooper tank.
I wish I hadn't said that.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
This whole episode is a start to another episode.
This is maybe our one adultonly episode.
Oh yeah, this is not one forthe kids.
This could be it.
Oh boy, well, everybody.
Now you know why we think ohyeah, this is not one for the
kids this could be it oh boyWell everybody.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Now you know why we think.
Florida sucks.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Well, you just I mean you made a quick turn from your
crush on the old ladies toFlorida sucks Right Like in one
day, 24 hours.
Yeah, it's all gone.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Lounging by the pool, playing dominoes with some fine
elder foxes.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Dude, red Fire Ants, you're all done.
Next week we will tell youabout what happens after that,
but as of right now, we'll seeyou on the flip side.
See y'all.
That's pretty good that, wuffy.
Thank you once again for clicking the button, hitting
play and getting the sweet,smooth sounds of the Kings of
the Road intro.
Where you are with me, scottHawkins, and him, andrew Gare,
as we are journeying in a LazyDays motorhome across the
country serving churches,sleeping in Walmart parking lots
, overall having a good time.
You get to hear this story andyou've been with us now for
(00:41):
almost 50 episodes, so weappreciate you, appreciate you
telling other people about itand looking forward to starting
our new Defender State series,which is coming up soon in a
couple of episodes.
But we are so glad to betogether and, andrew, welcome,
welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, thank you.
Thanks for having me.
It's a real pleasure to be aguest on this podcast today On
your podcast inside of ourRiverside recording studio.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Shout out to riverside.
Not a sponsor, but weappreciate you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, yeah, we appreciate you now that we're 50
episodes in, this is the bestplatform, right I mean it's
better than uh, I mean, it's theonly one we know no, we did a
clean feed at the beginning.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, yeah, yeah this is better.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
yeah, because we tried a clean feed at the
beginning.
Oh yeah, yeah, this is better?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, because we tried to Zoom for a little while
.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
True, yeah, riverside , we recommend it.
If you're getting in thepodcast world, go right to
Riverside Riversidefm, skip go.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
We've done the work for you.
You just need to go right toRiverside, because it is the
best, because good quality hasall sorts of fun tools, like
until this we've never been ableto do this, and then now we can
.
Hey, hey thanks riverside.
So we appreciate you.
So we're in florida so we're inflorida.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Um we sure are shoot.
There was something I was gonnasay this is a, this is uh about
my life about what?
About floridians?
No, not about floridians, Idon't know what it was it'll
come back to me sometime.
Benefits you know, one timewater speaking of different ways
(02:15):
to pronounce florida fluoride,yeah, uh, I.
I had a, a lady that I knewonce and she I had to go down
and send her something or go toher house to drop something off.
I don't remember what it was,but I looked at her address and
I was like Mary, she lives on.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Flo Rida Street.
Flo Space Rida.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
That's what, like my mind just thought, is Flo Rida
like the rapper?
And Mary just looks at me likethat's not even a funny joke and
I'm like what do you?
What do you mean funny joke?
Like she lives on.
Oh, she's like you mean florida.
And I was like oh, yes, yes,florida, yes, I do, yes, you
ever, you ever have that where?
Like your brain just seessomething a certain way and like
(02:58):
you can't realize that like oh,obviously that's wrong do you
play wordle?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
sometimes I do like wordle.
It's a great game.
But there have been times whenyou're like trying to think it
out loud and you're saying theword and you're like chef, chefy
, chief, chief.
Oh, that is a word, okay yeah,but like you're not.
You're like you like mess up thevowels and you're practicing
other sounds with them andyou're seeing this word that any
(03:23):
other time you would go oh,that's chief, of course.
Yeah, chief, easy, yeah.
One time I was driving andEmily we were driving and she
was playing the wordle for me,so she was like filling the
letters, you know, just to killsome time.
And I was like okay, put thisin.
And then I'm like making upwords and saying them out loud
(03:45):
and I fully said the, the word,but I just said it a different
way and she's listening to me.
I think it was that I was likechif and she's like I'm like I
just have to, let me go on.
And finally it's like oh, she'sright, right, right if I could
see it.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's just so funny, yes your brain gets.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Your brain gets caught in certain things.
That's what's great about thatcatchphrase game is that your
brain gets caught, yeah, youknow.
And then, like, you're down onepath of of that and you can't
imagine another way of thinkingabout the thing, yeah, so it's
like um, have I told mycatchphrase story on the podcast
?
I don't know if if have.
(04:23):
Do you know it?
I've said it to you before.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I don't know, tell me .
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Okay, this is a.
If you're listening with kids,we need to just at least pause
it for a moment because you guyscan come back in a little bit.
But I first met Emily and wewent out to dinner and then we
went back to her house with herfriends to do some games.
It was her birthday and we wereback at her house and all of
(04:49):
her friends were UCLA.
They're in frat sororities.
I'm like you, pastor Scott,right, all I've done is the
church since I was 18.
So I'm like, oh, not as cool,don't have my fraternity stuff
on.
And it's me and this other guyand we play catchphrase.
Him and I, um, and we're theboys versus the girls.
It's like three girls, two guys.
So that's how that's how it is,yeah, yeah.
So we, we play the game.
It's beeping at us and theother guy has it and he's
(05:12):
looking at me.
He's going scrotum, not jack uhballs.
And he's just looking at me, atthe eye.
He's just repeating thesethings over and over again and
in my head I'm going oh man,there's some cool word for
scrotum that I don't knowBecause I wasn't a fraternity.
(05:32):
I don't know any of thesethings.
They never taught me this inyouth pastor school.
Oh whatever, and he just can'tget off of it.
Right, he's just honed in onthat.
And then it goes off and he'slike oh man, and his girlfriend
who was there?
She's like dude, what was theword?
He's like tea bag and hisgirlfriend the girlfriend now
(05:57):
wife looks at him, goes.
You never thought hot waterdipping in english breakfast
beverage, I know he's like, yeah, straight to, straight to ball
sack and the whole, I did feelbetter.
Okay.
Good, I do know what a t-backis.
There's a lot of different waysthat he could have gone there,
(06:18):
but he got honed in on that one.
Oh yeah.
I was like, oh, oh man, butthat was a moment that I yeah,
that, that I just thought yeah,when your brain gets stuck, when
you get, yeah, you go down anavenue.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
You don't have reverse why don't you?
And then you get mad why don'tyou get it?
Why don't you get it?
Everyone does yeah, yeah, hotbeverage dipping.
Yeah, there's a lot yeah oh mygosh, yeah, you're just like,
I'm going a hundred.
You gotta admire the personwho's like all or nothing, baby.
Yes, well, and we're going thisgood about that, right like
you're.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Just you're there, that's where you are.
You can't imagine another thing.
Yeah, someone's like, whatabout this?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
oh, that's, that's a really good other direction
actually yeah, yeah, whenthere's a timer and it's beeping
at you, you're just just likeoh, this, this, this, this, this
.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I love that game though it's so easy to play.
Everyone enjoys it.
It's a great game.
Yeah, that is a good game.
Okay, florida, that is a goodgame.
All right, we're in Floridahere.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
So what I had forgotten?
That I remembered Scott, Ithink.
Happy anniversary, I think it'sbeen a year now hasn't it did
we start?
In September.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was thinking that too.
Yeah, we're close to that.
Well, we launched in September,I think.
Yeah, because we recorded allsummer to the head of it.
Now we are not ahead of itanymore.
But yeah, I know, I thought thesame thing actually.
Yeah, we should have a lavacake, I love a lava cake.
To the head of it.
Now we are not ahead of itanymore.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
But yeah, I know, I thought the same thing, that's
right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Hey, yeah, we should have a lava cake.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I love a lava cake yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Hot chocolate on the middle.
Just don't let go the wholetime, it's only nine seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Luckily, because if I had chosen this one, this one's
36 seconds.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh, thank you, stop it, stop it.
Thank you, we.
We appreciate all of yoursupport listeners.
Oh my, oh my gosh, I'moverwhelmed.
No one can see, okay, all rightwell where are we in the world?
Yeah, we're in florida.
We knew that it's day 61.
It's saturday, it is November27th 2004.
Another lovely day at the pool.
This time we met Rita and mynew elder crush, holly it might
(08:37):
have been the other way around,I'm not sure At the pool and
played some dominoes with them.
Nice.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
We did some laundry, played some catch.
That's about it.
Really, we were just chillingin South Florida and that's it.
That's it.
That's our Saturday, and that'swhat a Saturday should be, am I
right?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
A Saturday in South Florida?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Absolutely, that's right Playing dominoes with some
attractive older women Doingyour laundry, playing a little
catch by the pool.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
That does sum it up actually.
Yeah, playing dominoes withsome attractive older women,
there you go.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
There you go, there you go, not ashamed to admit it.
Yeah, I was ahead of my time,you were ahead of your time.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
All right you were.
When you're 75, you'll be ableto circle back and do it again.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm like those were the good old days.
So let's move on.
Then shall we to day 62.
Which, scott?
Yes, day 62, sunday 11-28-04.
One of the most Was that, yourstomach.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oh, really, you heard that.
It's that that was inside mystomach.
Yes, wow, your microphone isamazing, I guess, so I need to
turn the gain down.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I wonder if that's going to come across.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I just heard like this dinosaur in the distance
yes, I'm like, don't worry, theyjust eat plants.
What?
That was 100% my stomach.
Well, done.
That was amazing hyper x foranother thing.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I'd also like to thank my sponsor, sony noise
canceling headphones, for theamazing sound delivered straight
into my brain, straight intoyour brain, that you can never
my goodness um.
So today was an extra, it was a, it was pivotal day, a turning
point in the road trip.
We knew this day was coming.
We knew this day was comingSome might say this is the
(10:31):
reason, or part of the reason,for our feelings towards Florida
Sure maybe Probably Probably ittaints it.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It definitely yeah, oh, it's really.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You're in for free today Was taint a word that the
guy used to try to describe ateabag.
Sorry if your children weretuned back in, apologies for
that word.
Oh gosh, that's a weird dirtyword.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
That's a weird word.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
All right, here's what we're going to do, scott.
Okay, I'm going to read alittle bit, okay, and then we're
going to do some.
What Do you Remember?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Okay, and then we're going to do some.
What Do you Remember?
And then we're going to finishit out.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, okay, hit me All right.
As lovely as it was at Steveand Janet's, it was time to get
back on the road.
Steve and Janet drove us downto the storage yard where our
coach was waiting, and they sawus off Because, if you remember,
our coach was not allowed intheir community because it was
not deemed attractive enough.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, I don't know, it's not allowed.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
We headed down south and east in order to make it to
our destination, Fiesta Key.
Oh, I was ready.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I was pumped about this.
I know this was okay, keepbreathing.
I was pumped, man.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
We were- going to go to the Keys.
We were so pumped, yeah, soready.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
so this was okay.
Keep reading.
I was pumped, man.
We're going to go to the keyswe had.
Yeah, so ready, so ready.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
The road to get there goes right through the
Everglades of Southern Florida.
We saw tons of interestingbirds but I wasn't seeing any
gators.
That changed soon enough towhere every minute or so, I
would see another.
I feel like I remember justgator gator and we'd point him
out.
Um, there was water surroundingthe road we were on, like a
(12:12):
small river or a canal on thebrushy banks or where the gators
sat sunbathing and it was justso cool.
It was crazy because peoplewould be fishing on the banks in
these waters, not worried, yeah, and, and some were no more
than 20 yards from these gators,like there were people out
(12:33):
there, just fishing gators allaround them, and like it was no
big deal, they were just we wewere very afraid of the gators,
but they were.
Yeah, yeah, they were not, I'mlike they must.
I guess when you're on landyou're pretty safe, cause it
can't run that fast, or still, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's right.
I, what's the one?
Fast know about evading thegator running zigzags yes.
Does everybody know this, or isit just because?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
we've both been to gator land and did we learn it?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Well, yeah, they want to fall.
That's my only still set I have.
Yeah.
And how far my zits at like?
Probably five, eight yards, andthen left and then five, eight,
I don't know.
I want to be sure they're farenough.
I don't have the gator to gothe straight line between the
zigs yeah, I don't know, Ididn't ever hear that bit of
detail.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I just I heard run in a zigzag and I'm like it'll fit
, like a two-step zigzag.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
It's not gonna be helpful.
Going to be helpful, I mean,you need to do it.
That's what I've always thought.
Okay, I need like at least 10yards that way and then 10 yards
that way, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Funny enough, I heard a story once while doing a
visit on the Queen Mary, yeah,which was painted gray and
called the Gray Ghost, duringWorld War II, transporting
people back and forth or was itworld war one anyways to
(13:52):
crossing the atlantic during a,yeah, okay, yeah, it was built
in the 30s, I think, so one ofthe things that it would do to
evade being hit by enemytorpedoes is it?
would zigzag across the atlantic, oh man, and for some reason
that was a way to avoid beinghit.
I would think that would almostmake it easier to hit you well,
not easier, but I think thesame thing.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So I was like you're going that, oh wait, oh darn.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Oh yeah, got it.
Somebody wasn't like what if wejust wait till they turn back
this direction?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No, they're kind of right, you're just in Germany
brave people.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
We also saw sites that said watch for, oh yeah,
panthers, yes, panther crossing,panther crossing, it was an odd
place, but it is florida, allright, we had a bet didn't we?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
well, this is the thing where you looked at me and
you said if we see a panthercrossing the road, I will take
my pants off above my head andswing them around.
You know, panther?
Yeah, and we never did see apanther crossing the road.
I will take my pants off abovemy head and swing them around.
You know, panther?
Yeah, and we never did see apanther.
But also, I think since then,we both have learned that, um,
all of the north american largecats are the same, with just
(15:05):
different names, and this makesthe makes it less sexy, because
a panther, a puma, a cougar, amountain lion, and uh, what's
the other one?
Like a meerkat?
No, it's not a meerkat, it's afunny name in virginia.
Um, but they're all the samething, they just have different
names.
Yeah, and so, like, if it's amountain lion crossing, it'd be
like, oh, what's a mountain liondoing in the jungle?
(15:27):
But we thought like baloo orwhichever, with the black
panther from jungle book was.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
That's what we had in our brain, which is a different
, thing, the totally different.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
thing.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Well, I mean, it was a yellow sign with a picture of
a black Panther.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
You're right, you saying they just have one color,
and so I think maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Maybe it was.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Brown.
You think it was Brown, I do.
I think it's exactly like amountain lion.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That's what I mean.
I think it's just like I don'tknow.
They're just all the same.
They're all the same.
Panther yeah, the ones inflorida, though.
They wear like wife beater tanktops and chains.
Yeah, smoke crystal meth, yeahfor sure um.
We did not see any panthers.
However, panthers may have seenus.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Well done, sir Stealthy cats they are.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm on my game today.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We're taping in front of a live studio audience today
.
Speaking of panthers, I thinkmy tiny panther just opened the
door behind me.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It did.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
She's a smart little panther Figured that out.
So we made it through the swampand saw no Panthers,
unfortunately, but we did seedozens of Gators.
The road took us past Miami andonto us one, the other one
which leads to the keys.
The other one, or is it us, I,I don't know, no one knows the
(16:51):
other one, or is it USI?
I don't know, no one knows,probably one.
The first of the Keys is calledKey Largo, and we nearly made
it there, Almost did, butsuddenly traffic stopped.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
What do you remember?
All?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
right scott.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
So I'm driving and you're in the passenger seat and
, yes, I am going.
And we're so excited, we're inour board shorts and our
flip-flops.
We are ready to go, we areready to experience the teas.
We only have one night planned.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Key Largo.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
We'll get down there.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Key Summit.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Ooh, I want a ticket, but I don't have a ticket, but
we never made it because Iturned the corner.
Traffic light or brake lightsyeah, all sorts of brake lights,
and I'm not going unreasonablyfast, I'm going at a normal
speed and I see them all and Iimmediately jam on the brakes.
Remember, this is the one.
So it's only two roads, onegoing one way, one going the
(17:53):
other way.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Two lanes, two lanes, yes, stop.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
There's enough time to stop.
And I look over to you and Imight say something like whew,
that was close.
And as those come out of mymouth, may I just interject for
a moment, sir Scott.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yes, yes, when you slam on the brakes in a
motorhome, oh, imagine slammingon the brakes in your house.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yes, kitchen cabinets , cutlery, anything that isn't
like weighted down Doors areflying open Cabinet doors are
flying open Like you don't justslam on the brakes.
Luckily you're not sleeping inthe upper bunk, or else that
would have been a whole otherexperience.
I would have shot right out thefront of the cab Slam on the
brakes, I look over to you.
(18:42):
Oh, that was close.
At that point we hear crash andthen we feel a boom and we're
like uh-oh, what just happened?
And we pull over Shorts,flip-flops, we're ready.
We're so ready and there areone car slammed into another car
(19:07):
which pushed that car into ourmotorhome, and we're looking
around, around and there is bluewater everywhere that we are
stepping in with our flip-flops.
On the road, not like the oceanaround us, but on the road and
you and I are both pretty goodwith cars and we know enough and
(19:29):
we're kind of pondering, likewhat is blue in a car?
It's not radiator fluid, it'snot oil, it's certainly not oil
yeah, we.
We were thinking, oh, maybethere's blue radiator fluid, but
then it was like a lot of it,though there's a lot, something
popped, what, and I feel like itwas pretty close to the same
(19:51):
time that you and I bothrealized oh no, the car that got
pushed underneath us, the backtank of our motorhome is our
pooper tank and it was smallenough and went right up under
our motorhome, hit our poopertank, our motorhome hit our
pooper tank and our pooper tankwhich had been sitting in front
(20:14):
of Janet and Uncle Steve'sstorage locker.
it exploded all over Highway 1.
And the car that hit it and theabsolute certainty of what we
were seeing was when we saw allthe little white toilet paper
bundles.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, what are all these little white clumps?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Clumps in this car's fluid and we both go.
We're walking in flip-flops inour pooper tank water, which is
now all over the freeway, and westand there and the tow truck
comes, the paramedics come,everyone shows up, the whole,
(20:58):
all of T Largo shows up.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, okay, grant, this is a road that is like the
road from the mainland Floridato the Keys and we've stopped it
now and we've stopped it.
It is one of the lanes of thetwo is done is, there's nowhere
to pull off.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
So we pull off and while we're standing there in
our flip-flops, pondering,wondering what's going on,
realize we've been hit,realizing our pooper tank is all
over I don't remember which one, you or I we start to get a
tingling, tingling sensationsomewhere ankle and below.
And I don't remember who it was.
(21:37):
If it was you or I would see ifit's in the, if it's in the
notes.
Yeah, we look and we're talkingto somebody who is a local
resident.
I feel like she's a tow truckdriver, I feel like it's a woman
at this point and like what'sgoing on, what's happening?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
same lady from banger maine is now.
Is the tow truck?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
yeah, and we know what is going on what's
happening and somehow, I think,she tells us like oh, you're
standing in a pile of fire antsyes, fire ants biting our feet.
I'm pretty sure it was both ofus.
I know it was at least me.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Oh, I remember vividly.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
And, guys, if you haven't been bit by a fire ant
it's not like just when they usethe word fire ant, it is
because it feels like you havebeen bitten by the devil himself
has entered your body.
It is shockingly painful.
I mean, do you remember howlike?
It's not just like, oh,irritating, oh mosquito bite, oh
(22:34):
no, it's like what in the devilis going on in my feet?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
right now.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And they were all over.
So not only do we have the bluewater to avoid, we have the
fire ants that we're looking toavoid, and so we go inside and
change into our shoesImmediately Socks and shoes
Immediately Socks and shoesCover up yeah.
Immediately Socks and shoes.
Immediately Socks and shoescover up yeah.
So now I want you to add things, because there's still one very
(23:01):
important piece.
I don't remember, but parts ofit.
Okay, when are you at right now?
What do you want to add intoyour memoir?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Well, I don't, I know what you're thinking and I
don't want to steal that thunder.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
You can yes.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yes, this is the scenario.
We hear it.
Traffic stops, screech BoomBoom, car gets pushed into us.
So the car in the middle iscrunched, got hit in the back.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, accordion style .
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah and pushed into us.
Their front's all jacked up.
Our pooper tank is dangling offthe back of the motorhome.
It's not completely knocked off, it's like the tube that
connects it from the toilet tothe tank is like still holding
it on.
But like half of it's on theground, half of it's not, so we
can't drive the motorhome.
No, we, just we got to the sideof the road, we can't go
(23:51):
anywhere we got it off to theside of the road.
Yeah, tow truck shows up, fireants show up, fire ants show up.
We're, we're changed.
There's like go for it because,because it's so, you gotta do
it.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
The fire department comes and the fire department
figures out and we're, we gotfigured out by the fire
department goes, uh, parentalwarning, remember, these are
firemen who say this.
They look to each other andthey say their shitter tank gets
bloated all over the freewayand they spray down the whole
road and let all that go offMeanwhile.
(24:29):
And I do not remember his name,but I really.
What's his name?
Give me his name.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me see if I.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
You had to have written it down.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, give me a second, keep going, I'll.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'll read through the guy who was in the first car,
who hit the middle car that hitus.
He is like it feels to us likea key celebrity because, oh,
yeah everyone who drives byknows this guy and they like see
him.
And they're like, hey, and he'slike, hey, man, they're like you
hit someone else.
He's like, yeah, hit.
(24:58):
And they're just chatting aseveryone's driving by and we're
like who is this guy?
Who everyone knows?
He immediately lights up acigar standing on the side of
the road elio, elio lights up acigar, everybody honk, honk, hey
, hey, hey yeah, just waving ateverybody.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, fire department's doing their thing.
Pulls out a cigar, lights it upin the middle of a traffic
accident scene, high-fivingpeople as they go by like, hey,
another one, yes, what else?
Speaker 1 (25:31):
and he's just laughing, he's having a great
time.
Just like that's life in thet's.
This is life in the t's.
The fire department, though,just pissed at him.
They're like put that thing out.
We don't know if there's gasspill, we don't know what's
going on.
Like we have a motorhome, couldbe propane, like dude.
Yeah, he's like oh, and he putson his cigar.
I don't even think he put itout.
I think he just flicked it intothe bushes I'm done with you and
(25:55):
and we're just so we're.
We have elio there, fine, he'sfine, he thinks everything's
fine.
I think wasn't he like tryingto put.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I think he asked us like hey, help me pull out my
hood.
He's like I think it's fine.
It's fine.
So like we went over and wehelped him, like pull his hood
out so that like he could get itshut enough so that he could
drive his car.
I'm just not going to drive.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I'm going to be fine.
This is my third accident thisweek.
We're good.
Just push it down a little bit.
And the middle car I think thatwas a woman, maybe it was two.
Yeah, she was not happy aboutthis at all.
She was not used to being hit,nor would I.
It was scary for her probably.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
She tank exploded all over her.
She's imagine that.
Imagine that it's like goingdown tidal wave at magic
mountain back in the 90s, likejust she's thinking blue water
cascading over your windshield,she's the upper windows, what's?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
happened?
Is this heaven blue blue coming?
at me is this the light of whichI see oh, it's their pooper
tank, it's exploding all overyour car.
Great, hopefully her windowswere open.
Oh, never thought that's whatI'm saying.
Yeah, I know it's like oh man,sorry, lady, right, sorry about
that.
We're stuck with Elio.
And then we don't know what todo at this point.
(27:06):
But we do have tools, we dohave tools, we do have tools.
And so we say to the tow truckdriver if we saws all off our
bumper and our pooper tank,would you take it for us?
And so we can figure out whatto do.
And he's like is there yeah, doyou say something like I can't
do the work for you, but if youput it on my truck it'll go away
(27:28):
it was sort of like a wink anda nod because they were putting
the middle car on a flatbed andwe're like, yeah, if we and he
goes.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, he was like, if it ends up on the truck, I'll
take it away.
You know something along thoselines and we're like get to work
, and so we immediately got thesaw and the hammers out and
we're just like cutting the backhalf of the motorhome off,
cutting the bumpers off.
Yeah, I'm like we got to beable to drive away, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yes, yeah, I'm like we got to be able to drive away.
Yes, because luckily and thistruly is you think about it is
lucky.
As bad as that was, it couldhave been so much worse Because
we did all the work that neededto be done so we could drive
away without a problem, where Imean, if it had been like a
truck, it could have smashed in,it could have hit higher, it
(28:18):
went low and took out a bumperand our poop were changed.
But if it had been somethinghigher that pushed in the whole
back, yeah, who knows right soit wasn't that fast.
I mean to be fair, it wasn'tlike going who knows.
But again it was right, so muchbetter because we took care of
it and saws.
All in quick time we got thatoff, we had that on truck.
We're like, okay, we at leastcan drive now.
(28:38):
And the police department, thepolice officers, are like okay,
took our statements, everyone'sgood, everyone's safe.
Trauma Elio's great, he's fine.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Oh, he's probably been in so many accidents since
then.
Just that's what he does, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh my goodness, let's read it, let's hear the
original first.
That's pretty good that.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
That's how I remember it too, but let's, let's see
how it goes.
According to the officialrecord here, scott had to hit
the brakes pretty hard and westopped on time, but something
felt very wrong.
We heard a screech and then aboom, and then, fractions of a
second later, we felt a joltthat shoved us forward in our
seats.
Scott pulled over and we gotout to see what had happened.
(29:21):
In all honesty, I was a littleangry because I didn't want to
be hit, would you?
When I walked back, I saw asilver Hyundai that had been
absolutely destroyed.
The front was crumpled up andthe hood that had been thrust
into the wind.
Oh, the hood had been thrustinto the windshield.
(29:42):
Look like creased paper.
The back of the car had beenhit so hard that one of the
wheels was bent inward.
Oh man, beyond the silver carwas the green Accord that caused
the accident.
So it was a.
Honda yeah, green Honda Accord.
The front had some seriousdamage and the radiator looked
like a taco shell, but it wasn'tnearly as bad as the middle car
(30:05):
.
We noticed tons of blue fluidon the road and thought that car
sure leaked a lot of fluid.
It took us a second to realizethat fluid didn't come from that
car but a long gray tank thatlay on the highway next to it.
It was our pooper tank and allof its contents had been spilled
(30:27):
onto the highway.
Luckily, that blue chemicalstuff works really well, so I
don't think anybody realizedwhat it was.
Well, the firemen knew what itwas and they hosed it down
pretty quick.
Of course, the fellow thatcaused the accident spoke no
English and he had come up toScott shouting and using
gestures as if to say we hadcaused the accident.
(30:49):
Oh, I don't remember that.
Scott kept telling him hedidn't understand him, so he
backed off soon enough.
Lesson learned, kids If you'reever in an accident and
somebody's yelling at you, justsay I don't understand you, I
don't understand you, he'll goaway.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You have very good English.
For not understanding English.
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir, I don'tunderstand a word.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
you're saying I'm speaking English, I'm not
understanding you.
I do not understand any words.
These are the only words I know.
Miraculously, nobody seemed tobe injured too bad.
There was only one lady in themiddle car and she only had some
cuts on her hand.
Where?
the glass from the windshieldhit her.
Our Spanish-speaking pal wasokay and his wife was just shook
(31:30):
up a bit.
Oh, I didn't realize Elio'swife was in the car.
I guess we assumed it was herwife.
Do I didn't realize Elio's wifewas in the car?
I guess we assumed it was herwife.
Do we know for sure?
We don't know, of course not.
We like to call the causer ofthe accident Elio.
His name is something like that.
Oh, I guess we made that up.
He was an interesting guy.
Since we were all just standingaround, he decided to light up
(31:51):
a stogie.
The fire department didn't likethat much.
He also thought his car wasdrivable, so he asked us to help
him pry the hood open so hecould get it running.
And out of nowhere, about 10 ofhis friends and family members
show up to join in the party.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We took the party by the side of the road.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah.
So yeah, I think that we forgotto to mention that, but I think
he actually had people come bythat knew him to help him get
his car back roadworthy againthat does sound familiar, so I
guess maybe what I've translatedinto my mind like everyone
knows him was like the fact thata whole slew of people showed
up.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yes, he's from the t's, he's a t guy.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Oh, we were ready we were ready, you gotta.
You gotta love community rightI mean, oh hey my buddy, ilio or
something similar to that, justgot an accident.
Let's all stop what we're doingand help him get back to the
party.
Uh well, the party was over forus.
As we were standing on the sideof the road in our flip-flops,
we were attacked by red fireants.
(32:53):
These pests would crawl up ontoour feet and then actually bite
us.
Florida sucks I.
I smacked one off me and it hadbit me so hard I was bleeding
from it.
No, they're bad dude, they'rebad brand to put shoes on.
But that didn't even help toomuch.
I must have stepped on one ofthe anthills, because those
little bastards got all over myshoes and ankle.
(33:18):
Oh my gosh, those were the worst.
Oh those were terrible.
The motorhome seemed to be fineto drive.
It just had no waist tank orbumper.
Well, it did, but some wrenchesand saws all took care of that.
We asked the highway patrolofficer if we could do the
surgery to get it drivable.
He said sure, and I like youguys.
(33:39):
So we ripped off the bumper,the gray water tank and the sub
frame that used to hold it alltogether.
There was no need to cut offthe pooper tank, since it had
already been ripped off by theaccident.
We threw all that crap on thewrecker truck and got back on
(34:03):
the road.
We made it to Key Largo, butonly to turn around and go back
to Janet's With no toilet orshower.
The lazy days was greatlycrippled.
Walmart's had become a thing ofthe past.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I don't have a good sense.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Is there not a let's see what Transition 5?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
is.
Let's just hear what it is.
No, that's not it, that's notright.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
The Lazy Days was the Walmart's were a thing of the
past.
Do it again.
No, that's not it, that's notright.
The Lazy Days was the Walmartswere a thing of the past.
Do it again, okay.
No, you had to be.
You shouldn't have saidanything.
Okay, we're going to try thisagain.
Lazy Days oh, get ready, go.
Walmarts had become a thing ofthe past.
Too slow still.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Too slow, too slow, still too slow.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Okay, the button clicked to actually all right,
there's a little one that I want.
Um, oh yeah, I was filled withso much hope and excitement and
anticipation, I've still neverhave you.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
No, you haven't either.
No, no, I've never been to thecheese, never been back to miami
key largo, jamaica.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I've never been to the Keys.
I've never been back to Miami,key Largo, jamaica.
Come I'm gonna take you to thehideaway.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yeah, it's a great story.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Thanks a lot, Elio it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You're still around, Elio Sedars have taken you out
of your wife or somebody else.
We still remember you.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
The poor motor home.
What a dick.
Took it in the pooper tank.
I wish I hadn't said that.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
This whole episode is a start to another episode.
This is maybe our one adultonly episode.
Oh yeah, this is not one forthe kids.
This could be it.
Oh boy, well, everybody.
Now you know why we think ohyeah, this is not one for the
kids this could be it oh boyWell everybody.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Now you know why we think.
Florida sucks.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Well, you just I mean you made a quick turn from your
crush on the old ladies toFlorida sucks Right Like in one
day, 24 hours.
Yeah, it's all gone.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Lounging by the pool, playing dominoes with some fine
elder foxes.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Dude, red Fire Ants, you're all done.
Next week we will tell youabout what happens after that,
but as of right now, we'll seeyou on the flip side.
See y'all.
That's pretty good that, wuffy.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.