October 29, 2025 • 46 mins
Join us in this candid and heartfelt episode as we sit down with Horror Daddy J to explore his journey through kink, sexuality, and self-discovery. Growing up with early exposure to his father's porn stash, he’s always been attuned to his desires. Raised in a conservative, Christian environment, he reflects on how education and experience have helped him embrace a vibrant, rainbow-colored view of sexuality and love. He shares practical advice like asking specific safety questions and taking classes to better understand the risks involved.
We share our love story, from a mysterious Facebook friend request, long-distance connection, and first in-person meeting at a kink event. With stories of memorable scenes: fire play, impact play, and more, he dispels the myths often glamorized by media, reminding listeners that BDSM requires knowledge, respect, and consent. Talking openly about his own late-diagnosis of autism, Horror Daddy J details how he feels embraced for his true self within the kink community. An advocate for self-love and authenticity, he encourages listeners to reject societal expectations of the “perfect” life and instead embrace their true desires. Additionally, he shares how cannabis has become an essential tool for reducing anxiety, managing pain, and enhancing intimacy. Wrapping up, the conversation touches on personal growth, mental health, and creative pursuits .
Key Topics Covered:
- How we met and managed long distance
- Early influences on sexuality and desire
- Diversity and inclusion within the kink community
- Navigating neurodivergence, masking, and sensory needs
- Memorable kink scenes: fire play, impact, urethral sounding, and more
- Aftercare practices: cuddles, debriefs, and cannabis use
- Myths about cannabis and its benefits for stress and intimacy
- Challenging societal expectations and embracing authentic self-expression
- Designing custom BDSM gear and exploring creative kink pursuits
Calls to action:
- Visit KIC's website: https://kicloungepodcast.wixsite.com/kicloungepodcast
- Free Discord community: https://discord.com/invite/unefDQQKyj
- Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
- Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
- Miss Mackenzee Website: https://www.MissMackenzee.com
- BDSM and Intimacy University: https://www.bdsmandintimacyuniversity.com
- Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missmackenzeeagain
- Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
- Parker Leigh Website: https://www.parkerleigh.wixsite.com/parkerleigh
- Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ParkerLeigh_
- Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parkerxleigh
- Horror Daddy J Website: https://horrordaddyj.wixsite.com/horrordaddyj/home
- Horror Daddy J Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/horror.daddy.j
- Horror Daddy J Twitter: https://x.com/HorrorDaddyJ
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:09):
Hi, I'm Miss Mackenzie.
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
And I'm Parker Lee.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
And we are the Ganja Goddesses.
Get ready to laugh, learn, andjumpstart your libido in the
Kink, Intimacy, and CannabisLounge.
We are salacious, eccentric,blunt, and totally unfiltered.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
You have been warned.
For more information, visit ourwebsite or connect with us on
social media.
Our links will be in the shownotes.
Due to the nature of thisprogram, it is not suitable for
children under 18.
SPEAKER_02 (00:42):
Welcome back, my lovely listeners.
I have such a treat for youtoday.
I have my amazing partner,Horror Daddy J, with me today,
and I wanted everyone to get toknow him a little bit better.
I've come up with some questionsto delve deep with him about
(01:07):
kink, sexuality, intimacy, andcannabis.
All of our favorite things.
We've been together for twoyears now, so this episode is
finally here.
We don't have Parker Lee with usfor our time this time, but um
(01:27):
let's see if we can entertainyou anyway.
So um why don't you telleveryone a little bit about
yourself, honey, before we getinto some of the questions I
have?
SPEAKER_00 (01:40):
Okay, Princess.
Hi everyone.
I'm Horidaddy J.
Um 33, 6'3, switch, only withMiss Mackenzie.
SPEAKER_02 (01:56):
Um I make all of her custom woodwork that's on her
site and all the furniture, allthe sexy kinky toys, all the
bondage stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (02:13):
Everything's made here in-house.
Literally.
SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
And um and you're also really loving doing pro dom
work, right?
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
Yes.
Anything else?
That's it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
It's all I can think of off the top of my head,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
Obviously, a horror fanatic.
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh tis that time of year again,my favorite time of year.
It's getting cold outside andit's spooky movie season.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
Love that.
Yes, yes, yes.
So I did have some questionsfrom my listeners, from my
students that wanted to know alittle bit about you.
So some of these questions mightbe a little bit surprising.
Okay.
Yeah?
Are you ready?
Yeah, let's go.
Okay.
Um, and know that we may besmoking at some point during
(03:04):
this conversation.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's just jump off.
Okay.
How did you first discover yourinterest in kink and sexuality?
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Well, you see as you see someone as someone exposed
to um sexual images at a at areally young age because little
boys are curious, and I found myfather's porn stash.
SPEAKER_02 (03:38):
As you do.
As one does.
SPEAKER_00 (03:40):
Yeah.
Um, but you know, five's alittle bit younger to find it
than probably most.
Yeah.
Than a lot.
Um, so I've always been more intune with sexual urges and such
coming up through life.
So I found I stumbled into themore interesting uh side of
(04:05):
things, which is king, not justyour typical missionary and uh
sex.
SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
The fun stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (04:15):
All the fun stuff.
unknown (04:18):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (04:19):
Um, can you share a moment where when you felt the
most liberated exploring yourdesires?
SPEAKER_00 (04:33):
That would honestly have to be whenever I met you
because there was a completesense of safety and
understanding.
There was no judgment when I wascoming into this.
So I knew that you accepted mefor who I was and who I wanted
(04:56):
to be in your standard vanillalife and in the kink lifestyle.
SPEAKER_02 (05:07):
Was there like a moment that you felt like really
liberated?
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
It was pretty much whenever we were whenever we
were dating and you wereexplaining your life and your
lifestyle.
When I was telling you, like youwere asking me about all my
kinks, and I was just likenaming them off and couldn't
really figure anything out.
And you're like, Well, what youdon't figure out, we can figure
out later together.
And so I knew at that point thatit was it was gonna be pretty
(05:36):
great.
SPEAKER_02 (05:38):
And it has been, it has been amazing.
I love that.
Um, people might want to knowhow we met.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
Oh.
SPEAKER_02 (05:46):
Actually, I didn't even think about that.
People may want to know that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Yeah, so this beautiful woman right here
decided to send me a friendrequest on Facebook of all
places.
SPEAKER_02 (05:57):
Guys, never in my entire adult life did I ever
reach out to anybody first,ever.
That's just not me.
That's not a a thing that Ithink to do.
And I don't know what happened.
The universe was just like, youneed to do this.
(06:20):
Spoke through me.
I'm not sure.
Sorry, get.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
So uh she sent a friend request and uh I messaged
it.
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
I'm like, hey, you know, do I immediately might we
might I add?
Yeah, immediately.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
Well, it was at night.
I was working night shift, soum, but yeah, I sent a message.
I was like, hey, you know, do Iknow you?
Whatever.
And she was like, No, I just Ijust thought you were cute and
saw you posted something,figured I'd reach out.
And so uh from there, that'spretty much that.
(06:59):
I mean, she did have to be like,I am flirting with you, you
know, flat out, like exactwording.
SPEAKER_02 (07:07):
Well, because you had no idea.
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
I didn't, because I mean, in today's time, it's you
know, people can be nice, andthere's a lot of creepy ass
people who mistake that forflirting.
SPEAKER_02 (07:20):
So true.
So true.
SPEAKER_00 (07:22):
Also, being now newly understanding that I'm
autistic, that also means why Ican't pick up when people are
flirting or yeah, I can't pickup.
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
Yeah, for sure.
It's your lovelyneurodivergence.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
It absolutely is.
SPEAKER_02 (07:39):
But you were like, there's no way that this pretty
girl is into me.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (07:45):
I was like, this has gotta be a scam.
unknown (07:47):
This has gotta be a scam.
SPEAKER_00 (07:49):
She's gonna ask me to go get a green dot card.
SPEAKER_02 (07:53):
Share the pin and everything.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
I need you to read me.
SPEAKER_02 (07:58):
You're funny.
Um, how do you think or how hasyour perspective, if at all, on
sexuality evolved over time?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
Would you like to hit this before you say that?
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
Yeah.
Holding on to it.
Hopefully our listeners are youknow, smoking along with us.
SPEAKER_00 (08:31):
Hopefully.
SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
If you're sober, no big deal.
Or if you don't, you know, smokeweed, no big deal.
SPEAKER_00 (08:46):
So my perspective of sexuality's changed because I've
just educated myself and took astep back and looked at the
world through different set ofeyes.
Growing up in the South, um, Iwas raised very religious, very
Christian, not necessarily in myhousehold, but in my family, um,
(09:08):
with people that I was reallyclose with, my grandparents.
And so, you know, I I had thatupbringing upbringing, the
Christian mentality for a longtime.
And then as I was educatingmyself, which, you know, we're
supposed to do to continueevolving as humans.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
Since um, you know, school doesn't go too much into
that.
Yeah.
Except for abstinence.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Mm-hmm.
So uh, you know, justexperiences and people have
taught me that, you know,there's there's no black and
white, there's there's fuckingbeautiful rainbows all over the
place.
It's just I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (09:58):
That's such a good way to put that.
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:01):
And you know, if you really are straight, that's
cool.
If you're not, that's also cool.
There's no reason to be ashamedof it.
I understand that, you know,people are have tough families.
Um but you know, it's your life,it's short.
Don't let anybody sway you notto live it to your fullest and
(10:24):
love who you want.
SPEAKER_02 (10:26):
And explore as long as things are consensual.
Our whole, I think our societyteaches us that we're supposed
to be in these boxes.
And um, studies have reallyshown recently, they've done a
lot of studies that the more youbreak up your day with something
(10:48):
new, um, whether it's kink orsexuality or interests or
conversations you're gonna have,but breaking it up and not
having the same day really helpslike days last longer and are be
more meaningful.
So yeah, I love that.
(11:09):
Um, I have one here.
Can you describe the mostmemorable kink experience you've
had?
SPEAKER_00 (11:19):
Um our first date, which is my first kink event, my
first like actual.
SPEAKER_02 (11:27):
So we were so we were long distance for almost
nine months, and it was veryhard.
It was much harder than Ithought.
Everyone talks about longdistance, and I'd been long
distance, but um it was it wasgut-wrenching every time I left.
SPEAKER_03 (11:43):
Same.
SPEAKER_02 (11:45):
So when we finally got to actually be together, um,
yeah.
When we finally got to betogether, it was just like more
than fireworks.
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
It it was, even though it was in a very, very
peculiar hotel room with three,three full-size beds.
No clue why.
SPEAKER_02 (12:16):
So the first time that we met, guys, we our first
date was at a weekend long kinkevent.
And so um, we weren't staying inthe host hotel, we were staying
in the third overflow hotel,second or third overflow hotel,
and it was um a time.
SPEAKER_00 (12:37):
It was.
SPEAKER_02 (12:38):
There was Is that why it was memorable?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Oh, well, I mean, it was memorable because like that
was my first kink event, and italso included all kinds of well,
first weekend long.
SPEAKER_02 (12:50):
You'd been to parties.
SPEAKER_00 (12:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
Though the the parties were not so great.
We're just gonna put that outthere.
But this the kink event wasgreat.
Definitely got a lot of uh Ican't I can't tell you how many
bags I pulled out of that littlecar.
SPEAKER_02 (13:13):
I um I was pretty uh romantic.
I got you special blue roses.
SPEAKER_00 (13:21):
I know, and I spread them all over the room very
quickly as I was bringing inluggage behind you.
It was great.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Exactly.
So that was your most memorable?
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:36):
Okay.
Um, well, it wasn't okay.
So kink experience as a whole,since it was an event.
Got it.
I see.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
That that's where my brain took that question.
SPEAKER_02 (13:47):
That makes sense, yeah.
Um, what's one thing you wishmore people understood about
kink?
SPEAKER_00 (13:57):
You can't just let anybody say that they know what
they're doing.
You really need to understandwhat your kink safety is really
all about.
You can't just let some guy thatswears up and down a line he's a
(14:20):
daddy and a Dom come and dowhatever because that is where
you can get into unsafesituations.
SPEAKER_02 (14:29):
For sure.
Like, so like asking people's,like, what are your safety
protocols?
Like, what do you know about therisks about the play we're going
to do?
And specifically ask, not justdo you know the risks, well,
like asking a whole profile.
SPEAKER_00 (14:46):
Absolutely.
That also ties in to more alongthe lines of what I was saying,
like you need to understand anddo some research yourself, take
some classes, learn for yourselfthat what hazards can be
(15:07):
included in this type of thingyou're wanting to experience and
explore.
Like what are the dangers?
What the dangers are, like howhow things are supposed to be,
the fact you're actuallysupposed to have negotiation
beforehand about every detailabout what's going to occur in
in that scene.
(15:27):
That's something that was nottalked about in in my first
experiences in the kink world,and that's something I wish I
knew back then.
Because it was like, hey, areyou okay with you know, if you
sign up for this, you're justokay with it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:45):
Like you sign up to get a spot on stage and you're
not told, hey, like this is whatcould happen, or hey, you know,
you're up here for this amountof time.
You know, you can safe words,you can it's just, hey, you sign
up for this to experience this.
That's cool.
SPEAKER_02 (16:03):
I wish there was much more of a um like you
having to do, I don't know, likea BDSM 101 201 class before
being able to be at these eventsor parties or whatever.
Like, not that you can't playoutside of that, but I just wish
that was like a norm, like a astaple for every place.
SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
And it's not it's not because movies and TV they
romanticize the act.
So people think thateverything's like a movie, that
you can just go into it andeverything And yeah, there's
some dangers, but I'll be fine.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Like it's a small amount of danger rather than
like, oh, you could die fromthis.
Exactly.
Or like, oh, you could beseverely burned, or you could
lose mobility.
Right.
I can't tell you the amount ofpeople that I've known over the
years that now have some form ofnerve damage from bondage, even
(17:03):
like not extreme bondage.
Um, they just didn't know.
And um, they didn't know thatthey should tell people when to
stop and things like that,unfortunately.
Um how do you think kink andsexuality can promote greater
inclusion and acceptance?
(17:30):
And that's okay if you don'tknow how to answer that as a
white man.
SPEAKER_00 (17:35):
So the the way I see it, anytime I've gone to a kink
event, there's people from allgenders, from all races, from
all types of status, from allages.
SPEAKER_02 (17:52):
That surprised you that surprised you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:54):
Yeah, because it wasn't something that wasn't
readily known.
So it doesn't matter who you arein everyday life, as soon as
you're in a kink space, you'rewho you can and want to be.
There's there's nothing holdingyou back, there's no judgment.
(18:18):
Everybody is there welcoming aslong as everything is
consensual.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah, for sure.
I know.
So we just got back from kinkycollege in Chicago.
Um, and uh, I know one of thethings that was really nice for
you is to see a lot of people inour age range, um, you know, and
and a lot of differentidentities, like a lot of masks,
(18:45):
a lot of um pet play, a lot ofyou saw a lot of age play, and
like I guess like genderrepresentations.
SPEAKER_00 (18:56):
Yeah, because the the smaller events we went to
were normally older, uh were anolder crowd.
You didn't see a lot of youngcrowds.
Um whereas this one it's a lotof younger and more.
SPEAKER_02 (19:12):
It was a masse, but yes, a lot of younger.
SPEAKER_00 (19:16):
And it was way more diverse in in the the
communities under the alphabet.
SPEAKER_02 (19:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Absolutely.
We also saw saw a lot of likeum, you know, minorities, people
of um uh uh, you know, differentcultures, which is nice.
SPEAKER_00 (19:41):
And and and the beautiful thing is it's not just
for the able-bodied.
There are so many people in thecommunity that are disabled.
And that's I know that'ssomething I think most people
over like don't think about.
Like maybe they feel like theycan't be in it, but it doesn't
matter.
You're I mean, we saw peopleplaying in wheelchairs and stuff
(20:05):
and canes and it's justbeautiful that people know that
they can come into this and makefriends and open up and be
themselves.
And you know, that's a bigthing, even for me, you know,
especially so like just findingout I had autism and just like
making those connections of whyI was so weird growing up and
(20:27):
now like being in a place thataccepts your weirdness, that
accepts my weirdness.
Oh, I love that to just be meand just be weird and talk to
me.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Um, I think what I've noticed more in the years,
it wasn't like this when I firstgot involved, but more in these
kinks and in the lifestyle,they're having talks surrounding
neurodivergence in general andthe huge overlap in kink and
neurodivergence for multipledifferent reasons.
(21:03):
But I think one way that I thinkhelping to be more inclusive is
having those kind of workshops,like letting people know that
that's so normal.
There's so many people in thekink community that are
neurodivergence on the spectrum.
What, you know, on the wholeentire neurodivergence spectrum,
(21:25):
not just autism spectrum.
Um, but I just think it'sfascinating having these kind of
classes and then also havingclasses surrounding chronic
illness and disability with kinkand stuff, and being able to
have those classes helps make itmore normalized.
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
Yeah.
And and every day there'ssomething new being learned
about us as humans that's addingmore beauty to the kink scene.
SPEAKER_02 (21:53):
Absolutely.
Having these kind of spaces thatare specific for different
groups, I think is beneficial aswell.
Like I know we're talking aboutinclusion for like being
involved in these things, butsometimes I think about a lot of
BIPOC communities that don'tfeel comfortable around, you
know, I don't know, like whiteparties and things like that,
(22:17):
and being able to have like aspace that's specific for them
to be safe and to feel safe, orLGBTQIA plus people.
SPEAKER_03 (22:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:27):
And being able to have a space where they feel
safe, that they don't have to belike in a only heteronormative
space where they feel like anoutsider.
SPEAKER_03 (22:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:37):
So yeah, I think that's cool.
Um what's a personal kink orfantasy you're comfortable
sharing?
You could talk about a basicone.
(22:58):
You have a lot now that you'venow that you've met me.
Now that I'm sorry, there's alot.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_03 (23:14):
You could talk about a fireplay.
SPEAKER_00 (23:16):
Oh man, that that is a good one.
Thank you for reminding me ofthat one.
SPEAKER_02 (23:19):
I had to remind you.
SPEAKER_00 (23:21):
It's been so long.
SPEAKER_02 (23:23):
Ah, okay, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (23:26):
So incorporating fireplay with a hand job was
absolutely mind-blowing.
It was something, you know, I'veexperienced fire and having a
penis, I've experienced handjobs.
But sort of.
Sort of.
Well, before you it wasdefinitely a sort of.
(23:50):
But um when you were doing fireplay and then you started giving
me a hand job, it just fuckingblew my mind.
I did not know that that couldbe right there and be so amazing
to just uh.
SPEAKER_02 (24:14):
You were literally in ecstasy.
I don't know that I've ever seenyour eyes that far behind your
bed, uh your head.
SPEAKER_00 (24:22):
I think the only time I think the only other time
that you've said that issounding.
SPEAKER_02 (24:30):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
You are like that with soundingtoo.
Well, and you can't see my face,but that's typically what's
going on when you Well, Itypically put pillows behind you
so that your head goes up so Ican see your face.
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
Well, no, no, no.
I'm saying whenever whenever youdo impact.
SPEAKER_02 (24:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
That's any pretty much anytime you touch me, um,
I'm the next is honestly.
SPEAKER_02 (24:55):
I love that.
You're so cute.
Um, same though.
Um, got me all flustered.
I gotta find my questions.
I got the fanny fletus.
Um what is your favorite way tounwind and relax after a
(25:22):
passionate experience with me?
Besides passing out.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
Well, you know, the I learned from you the melatonin
that's released in the uh AMAPbody.
SPEAKER_02 (25:35):
Mm-hmm.
Well, it's released ineverybody, but I think it's more
in an AMAP body.
SPEAKER_00 (25:40):
Yeah.
For sure.
That's what you're saying.
Um Well, we enjoy laughs like noother.
And normally just recapping onour experience and just having a
good laugh or aha and somemotherfuckers is pretty nice.
SPEAKER_02 (26:01):
Well, they don't know what that is.
So basically we can explain yougotta explain to my listeners.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Yeah, so basically we'll get on her phone and we'll
play Family Feud or some othergame where you compete against
other people.
SPEAKER_02 (26:14):
After we've done aftercare and stuff, obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
Yeah.
Um, after we've smoked too.
Yeah.
Smoke and cuddle.
It's smoke and cuddle foraftercare, and then afterwards
it's aha and motherfuckers, andthat's where we get on and we
put our our freshly mushed highbrains together to come up with
(26:37):
answers.
To come up with answers and andand beat people in online games.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
And we when we beat them, we say aha.
SPEAKER_00 (26:45):
So we get on there and we aha motherfucker.
SPEAKER_02 (26:47):
Honestly, it feels really good to aha someone.
It really doesn't.
I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
It's your competitive nature, my darling.
SPEAKER_02 (26:55):
I don't have it anymore so much, do I?
SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
Okay, I do.
Got it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:02):
Anytime Jackbox is involved, or or what is it?
Heads up?
SPEAKER_02 (27:07):
And heads up.
SPEAKER_00 (27:07):
Heads up.
SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
Exactly.
Right.
Um what would advice would yougive to folks who feel they
don't fit in traditionalsexuality norms?
Or I guess even traditionalsocietal norms, you can even
(27:30):
say.
Since you identify as like anoutsider like I do, you know, as
an outside the box thinker, andso I've always felt as an
outsider.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Um, you know, I I couldn't quite put my finger on
it growing up, but there was alot of a lot of trauma, just
like anybody else.
Um but there was a lot of thingsthat was different about me.
Um so I I never really felt likeI fit in.
(28:12):
I was trying to find my place,and that was a lot of not
knowing who I was, and thenunderstanding that you know, you
don't have to be traditional.
You don't have to, you know,have the Disney portrayed, you
(28:37):
know.
Life.
Yeah, the life.
It doesn't have to always beperfect.
It doesn't have to be, you know,American dream with the wife and
kids and picket fences.
It's and the wife is astay-at-home mom.
It doesn't have to be that way.
(28:58):
And and that was an experiencethat I had to learn the hard
way.
Um I've definitely caused myselfa lot of trauma for trying to
chase that drain.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
Um only I think a lot of people have.
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
Yeah.
And you know, if it works outfor you, great.
If it doesn't, that doesn't meanyou're a defect.
That doesn't mean there'ssomething wrong with you.
That just means that that's notyour lane.
That's not what the universe ismeant for you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:27):
You're meant to create a new path.
SPEAKER_00 (29:29):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (29:30):
Um it's like more you're more so like telling
people like just like acceptthemselves for themselves.
SPEAKER_00 (29:37):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
As long as it's perfectly legal.
Don't don't be a don't be thatguy.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Or that girl.
It's not always about that.
SPEAKER_00 (29:48):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
There are not so great women as well.
Which we are aware of.
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Yes, we're both very aware of us.
SPEAKER_02 (29:58):
Um, alright.
Let's jump into some a couplecannabis questions.
How about that?
All right.
So um what's a commonmisconception about cannabis
that you've heard?
SPEAKER_00 (30:15):
It's a gateway.
It's not a gateway.
SPEAKER_02 (30:17):
Oh my god, a heat.
SPEAKER_00 (30:19):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_02 (30:21):
It's a gateway to the to the couch.
It's a gateway to the bridge.
SPEAKER_00 (30:26):
I mean, it's a gateway to a little bit of
weight gain, but honestly, it'sa gateway to fucking less stress
and anxiety.
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
For sure.
I think that it's becoming morewell known as this, like as
medicinal purposes.
Like, oh, it's not just forpeople who want to get fucked
up.
It's there's so many reasons whypeople consume.
SPEAKER_00 (30:50):
I know for your chronic pain, it helps wonders.
Yeah.
I mean, and even then there aretimes where it doesn't.
And that's that's the thing.
I know for me, it's great forheadaches.
It's great for my stress andanxiety when I'm overwhelmed,
when I'm overstimulated anddon't know what to do.
SPEAKER_02 (31:06):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (31:07):
Um, it's also great for my pain.
You know, my back hurts, I'mtall.
SPEAKER_02 (31:15):
I understand.
SPEAKER_00 (31:20):
Um But yeah, I've weeds never made me been like,
wow, you know, this is so great.
I just want to get so high onanother drug.
On crystal meth.
Right.
Like the the gateway thing's abunch of bullshit.
It's all about where you're atmentally and the people you have
(31:40):
around you.
SPEAKER_02 (31:41):
Yeah, absolutely.
If you you're gonna want to trythose drugs, it has nothing to
do with you trying cannabis orconsuming.
Um learned about yourselfthrough Kink.
SPEAKER_00 (32:17):
So through Kink I've learned that, you know, I am I
am more fluid um with mysexuality with who I am as a
(32:40):
person.
Like I don't every day I am aman's man, tall, bearded, works
with my hands, but in kink Idon't I don't have to be that.
I can I can be submissive, I canbe a little femme, I don't have
(33:01):
to be, I could be a little.
I don't I don't have to I don'thave to stay is how I am.
However I'm feeling is how I canbe in kink.
SPEAKER_02 (33:13):
I love that.
That's so powerful.
I don't think people talk aboutthat enough and how they can
present and how it gives thepower to be able to present
however the fuck you want andthat time that that people can
(33:35):
have so many different roles andshow up in a different role
every day.
SPEAKER_00 (33:39):
Yeah, and it's because of the safety that there
is in the community.
Like you're it's not that I'mashamed of who I am, it's that
you know, I've I've got a lot ofpeople I need to protect.
And if it um it's something thatyou know, I'm with the world how
(34:08):
it is now, I would ratherunfortunately I would rather
appear to be one of the fuckingtough guys, one of the tough
guys to protect those around me.
SPEAKER_02 (34:23):
For sure.
SPEAKER_00 (34:24):
But whenever kink's involved, I'm free to be me.
SPEAKER_02 (34:31):
Yeah, I love that.
I wonder like how many otherpeople like feel that way, that
they're just like, you know,like I know a lot of people in
the professional industry thatI've you know had as clients
that are these masculine, hugeCEO, big time um like dominant
(35:02):
personalities in real life, intheir real life.
And then in kink, they can befeminized, they can be a sissy,
they can be, they want to bethat, right?
Part of it's like balance, andpart of it's like they're able
to be whatever they want to befor that time frame.
So, like I've seen it a lot inthat way, but I don't know how
(35:25):
many other people have had thosesimilar experiences.
Probably a lot.
I'm assuming a lot.
What's one piece of advice you'dgive your younger self?
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
Do therapy.
SPEAKER_02 (35:50):
Yeah, earlier for sure.
I love that.
Mental health fucking matters.
It does.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Because honestly, there's so much of myself that
I'm I'm having to go back andheal because I didn't I didn't
do the therapy when I wasyounger.
And I also would have had myautism diagnosis a little bit
(36:16):
sooner, I believe, um, whichwould have greatly altered some
feelings, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_02 (36:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I think um people have an ideaand a real scary thought toward
mental health and like therapy.
And um I think when you find agood therapist, the connection
(36:47):
is so powerful.
And like you that's when you cando your healing.
Well, when you're in a safeenvironment and you're you're
with people who support you, butalso having someone that you
click with and feels good.
SPEAKER_00 (37:03):
Well, I think the beautiful thing now is this
generation, our generation islike understanding that and
trying to get it for the youngergeneration, trying to get them
to help that we didn't have.
SPEAKER_02 (37:15):
I know it's not yeah, our parents weren't told
to go to therapy, they were toldto suck it up.
SPEAKER_00 (37:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:21):
I mean, we I was too.
But I think there's ourgeneration and and younger are
trying to break thesegenerational curses and
generational trauma.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:37):
Um, so yeah, it makes sense.
What is one major aspect of BDSMthat I have taught you?
Besides some of the stuff thatyou've already said.
SPEAKER_00 (37:54):
One of the biggest aspects you've taught me.
SPEAKER_02 (38:02):
You have talked about safety and you have talked
about negotiations.
SPEAKER_00 (38:08):
Yeah, that's I mean, honestly, without that, like
nothing else really Honestly,without that, nothing else
matters.
If you don't understand thenegotiation aspect of tank and
you don't understand the safety,then you shouldn't be doing the
(38:29):
things.
Well, not just that, yourexperience could be tanked
because you and the personyou're trying this with don't
understand the risks.
So it could be a bad experiencefor you and they think that
they're doing a fantastic job.
SPEAKER_02 (38:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:45):
And then they go out and do that to other people.
SPEAKER_02 (38:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
So education and safety are paramount in this,
and and that's the greatestthing I took away from it from
anything that we've done.
SPEAKER_02 (39:02):
And that I've taught you.
SPEAKER_00 (39:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:04):
I've taught you some cool techniques.
SPEAKER_00 (39:06):
You you have.
SPEAKER_02 (39:09):
But yeah.
But yeah.
Um.
Is there anything that youwanted to talk about with our
time?
SPEAKER_00 (39:20):
Well, I'm just, you know, working in the shop,
trying to figure out some newcool things to add to the site.
Maybe some new furniture, somenew uh, some new paddle designs.
SPEAKER_02 (39:36):
We've been coming up with some cool ones.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
We have.
SPEAKER_02 (39:40):
And uh I know you're working on a smother box.
SPEAKER_00 (39:43):
Smotherbox.
Um what is it you called it?
The cuffs, the boot?
SPEAKER_02 (39:55):
The bootstrap cuffs?
What cuffs?
The oh, the yoke.
SPEAKER_03 (40:02):
Yoke.
SPEAKER_02 (40:03):
The yoke.
Yes.
You're gonna make some coolyokes and stuff.
I love that.
Also, yay to bondage.
We love bondage.
SPEAKER_00 (40:18):
We gotta have a test subject, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (40:21):
Thought that's what Parker's for.
Our little crash test dummy.
Um, okay, so all right, sothat's what's coming up with
you.
Um, how about like what are somepro dom sessions that you want
(40:46):
to have that you haven't hadyet?
I love when the cute subby boyssubmit to you.
SPEAKER_03 (41:06):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (41:06):
I do love that.
It's a little hot for me, I'mnot gonna lie.
SPEAKER_00 (41:12):
Yeah, you you just have that thing.
And that's perfectly finebecause it's enjoyable for me as
well.
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (41:22):
So, what kind of things would would be hot for
you?
You did get some really nice newboots.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
I did.
I did.
SPEAKER_02 (41:30):
Maybe some boot worship sessions?
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Boot worship, maybe somebody wants to be stepped on.
Be stepped on.
Maybe somebody wants to feellike I'm a giant.
SPEAKER_02 (41:41):
Yes, I love that.
Can you say it a little slowernext time?
No, I'm just saying.
Yeah, well, now that you'relike, you know, learn you've
learned like a lot of likeimpact skills, it might be cool
for you to have some likeover-the-knee stuff.
(42:01):
Some over-the-knee impactsessions.
SPEAKER_00 (42:04):
I mean, you know.
Poor daddy's gotta hand out someuh punishment.
You know, maybe that looks likesomebody's been a bad they,
them, he, him, she, she, she,her.
SPEAKER_02 (42:20):
I love that.
There might be some naughtylisteners listening in right
now.
SPEAKER_00 (42:25):
Maybe.
SPEAKER_02 (42:27):
I think you should do your I think you should do
your daddy voice for them.
SPEAKER_00 (42:31):
My daddy voice.
SPEAKER_02 (42:32):
Growl and growl.
They might find it hot.
SPEAKER_00 (42:36):
Uh I don't know if I can do the growl right now.
My throat's pretty scratchedwith the cold.
Fair.
Been brought into this house.
SPEAKER_02 (42:43):
Fair.
SPEAKER_00 (42:44):
Fair.
SPEAKER_02 (42:46):
Um maybe we'll have you like read a story sometime
for the listeners.
Maybe.
I don't know if you guys areready for that though.
It's fire.
And then when he starts addingaccents in.
SPEAKER_00 (43:03):
So Roy Kinnan, though.
SPEAKER_02 (43:04):
He's very good with his accents.
Um, all right.
We always ask our people that wehave on, and while you are very
different, you're not differentin this.
We're gonna ask you the samequestion.
What is one of your favoriteways to connect with a partner?
By partner, I mean me.
SPEAKER_00 (43:29):
My favorite way to connect with you is through
touch and laughter.
SPEAKER_02 (43:35):
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (43:37):
So just touching your body and feeling your
energy anytime, and there aretimes I can feel your energy
without having to touch you.
But just absolutely getting theenergy through the touch is just
(43:58):
it's so wonderful.
It's I feel so connected withyou, and then you know, when you
throw in um breathing.
SPEAKER_02 (44:11):
Like our deep breathing that we do.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
Yeah, our deep breathing exercises, and we get
on the same heart.
It's like we get on the sameheartbeat, the same breath
pattern, and it's just we're soconnected and so great.
SPEAKER_02 (44:22):
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (44:24):
Because I've never had that with anybody else.
I never knew how to connect withanybody else.
SPEAKER_02 (44:31):
Uh-huh.
I love that.
Makes me feel special things.
SPEAKER_00 (44:36):
We are special.
SPEAKER_02 (44:39):
Um, anything else you want to share with the
folks?
Nothing?
Anything?
SPEAKER_00 (44:45):
Um.
If you have it and get onlineand look at all these classes,
there's there's quite a lot ofclasses.
How many classes do y'all haveonline though?
SPEAKER_02 (44:57):
Um on my on-demand classes, I have 77 on there
right now.
SPEAKER_00 (45:02):
And they go from 101s to 201s to intensive.
SPEAKER_02 (45:08):
Advanced, all the things.
And a few of them you're demobottoming in.
And I know you're going to bedemo bottoming for some more
stuff.
So some people can see you inyour skippies, what do they call
it?
And yeah, unwiss.
(45:30):
Um, yeah, okay.
Well, thank you for coming on.
And um maybe we'll have somemore episodes, some fun stuff
with you in it for future ifyou're down.
SPEAKER_00 (45:43):
I am absolutely okay with that.
This has been a greatexperience.
SPEAKER_02 (45:48):
Oh, thank you.
You're down to clown.
SPEAKER_00 (45:49):
Down to clown.
SPEAKER_02 (45:52):
Thank you so much for joining.
I hope you um had a good time.
Not didn't really learn much,probably, but I hope you had a
good time.
And I look forward to um seeingyou guys in future classes,
future events, all of thethings.
Take care of yourselves.
SPEAKER_00 (46:13):
Later.
SPEAKER_02 (46:15):
Thanks for joining us.
Tune in next time for moreAdventures in the Lounge.
And remember, always keep anopen mind.
You never know what's around thecorner.
Hi, I'm Miss Mackenzie.
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
And I'm Parker Lee.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
And we are the Ganja Goddesses.
Get ready to laugh, learn, andjumpstart your libido in the
Kink, Intimacy, and CannabisLounge.
We are salacious, eccentric,blunt, and totally unfiltered.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
You have been warned.
For more information, visit ourwebsite or connect with us on
social media.
Our links will be in the shownotes.
Due to the nature of thisprogram, it is not suitable for
children under 18.
SPEAKER_02 (00:42):
Welcome back, my lovely listeners.
I have such a treat for youtoday.
I have my amazing partner,Horror Daddy J, with me today,
and I wanted everyone to get toknow him a little bit better.
I've come up with some questionsto delve deep with him about
(01:07):
kink, sexuality, intimacy, andcannabis.
All of our favorite things.
We've been together for twoyears now, so this episode is
finally here.
We don't have Parker Lee with usfor our time this time, but um
(01:27):
let's see if we can entertainyou anyway.
So um why don't you telleveryone a little bit about
yourself, honey, before we getinto some of the questions I
have?
SPEAKER_00 (01:40):
Okay, Princess.
Hi everyone.
I'm Horidaddy J.
Um 33, 6'3, switch, only withMiss Mackenzie.
SPEAKER_02 (01:56):
Um I make all of her custom woodwork that's on her
site and all the furniture, allthe sexy kinky toys, all the
bondage stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (02:13):
Everything's made here in-house.
Literally.
SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
And um and you're also really loving doing pro dom
work, right?
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
Yes.
Anything else?
That's it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
It's all I can think of off the top of my head,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
Obviously, a horror fanatic.
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh tis that time of year again,my favorite time of year.
It's getting cold outside andit's spooky movie season.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
Love that.
Yes, yes, yes.
So I did have some questionsfrom my listeners, from my
students that wanted to know alittle bit about you.
So some of these questions mightbe a little bit surprising.
Okay.
Yeah?
Are you ready?
Yeah, let's go.
Okay.
Um, and know that we may besmoking at some point during
(03:04):
this conversation.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's just jump off.
Okay.
How did you first discover yourinterest in kink and sexuality?
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Well, you see as you see someone as someone exposed
to um sexual images at a at areally young age because little
boys are curious, and I found myfather's porn stash.
SPEAKER_02 (03:38):
As you do.
As one does.
SPEAKER_00 (03:40):
Yeah.
Um, but you know, five's alittle bit younger to find it
than probably most.
Yeah.
Than a lot.
Um, so I've always been more intune with sexual urges and such
coming up through life.
So I found I stumbled into themore interesting uh side of
(04:05):
things, which is king, not justyour typical missionary and uh
sex.
SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
The fun stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (04:15):
All the fun stuff.
unknown (04:18):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (04:19):
Um, can you share a moment where when you felt the
most liberated exploring yourdesires?
SPEAKER_00 (04:33):
That would honestly have to be whenever I met you
because there was a completesense of safety and
understanding.
There was no judgment when I wascoming into this.
So I knew that you accepted mefor who I was and who I wanted
(04:56):
to be in your standard vanillalife and in the kink lifestyle.
SPEAKER_02 (05:07):
Was there like a moment that you felt like really
liberated?
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
It was pretty much whenever we were whenever we
were dating and you wereexplaining your life and your
lifestyle.
When I was telling you, like youwere asking me about all my
kinks, and I was just likenaming them off and couldn't
really figure anything out.
And you're like, Well, what youdon't figure out, we can figure
out later together.
And so I knew at that point thatit was it was gonna be pretty
(05:36):
great.
SPEAKER_02 (05:38):
And it has been, it has been amazing.
I love that.
Um, people might want to knowhow we met.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
Oh.
SPEAKER_02 (05:46):
Actually, I didn't even think about that.
People may want to know that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Yeah, so this beautiful woman right here
decided to send me a friendrequest on Facebook of all
places.
SPEAKER_02 (05:57):
Guys, never in my entire adult life did I ever
reach out to anybody first,ever.
That's just not me.
That's not a a thing that Ithink to do.
And I don't know what happened.
The universe was just like, youneed to do this.
(06:20):
Spoke through me.
I'm not sure.
Sorry, get.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
So uh she sent a friend request and uh I messaged
it.
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
I'm like, hey, you know, do I immediately might we
might I add?
Yeah, immediately.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
Well, it was at night.
I was working night shift, soum, but yeah, I sent a message.
I was like, hey, you know, do Iknow you?
Whatever.
And she was like, No, I just Ijust thought you were cute and
saw you posted something,figured I'd reach out.
And so uh from there, that'spretty much that.
(06:59):
I mean, she did have to be like,I am flirting with you, you
know, flat out, like exactwording.
SPEAKER_02 (07:07):
Well, because you had no idea.
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
I didn't, because I mean, in today's time, it's you
know, people can be nice, andthere's a lot of creepy ass
people who mistake that forflirting.
SPEAKER_02 (07:20):
So true.
So true.
SPEAKER_00 (07:22):
Also, being now newly understanding that I'm
autistic, that also means why Ican't pick up when people are
flirting or yeah, I can't pickup.
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
Yeah, for sure.
It's your lovelyneurodivergence.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
It absolutely is.
SPEAKER_02 (07:39):
But you were like, there's no way that this pretty
girl is into me.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (07:45):
I was like, this has gotta be a scam.
unknown (07:47):
This has gotta be a scam.
SPEAKER_00 (07:49):
She's gonna ask me to go get a green dot card.
SPEAKER_02 (07:53):
Share the pin and everything.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
I need you to read me.
SPEAKER_02 (07:58):
You're funny.
Um, how do you think or how hasyour perspective, if at all, on
sexuality evolved over time?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
Would you like to hit this before you say that?
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
Yeah.
Holding on to it.
Hopefully our listeners are youknow, smoking along with us.
SPEAKER_00 (08:31):
Hopefully.
SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
If you're sober, no big deal.
Or if you don't, you know, smokeweed, no big deal.
SPEAKER_00 (08:46):
So my perspective of sexuality's changed because I've
just educated myself and took astep back and looked at the
world through different set ofeyes.
Growing up in the South, um, Iwas raised very religious, very
Christian, not necessarily in myhousehold, but in my family, um,
(09:08):
with people that I was reallyclose with, my grandparents.
And so, you know, I I had thatupbringing upbringing, the
Christian mentality for a longtime.
And then as I was educatingmyself, which, you know, we're
supposed to do to continueevolving as humans.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
Since um, you know, school doesn't go too much into
that.
Yeah.
Except for abstinence.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Mm-hmm.
So uh, you know, justexperiences and people have
taught me that, you know,there's there's no black and
white, there's there's fuckingbeautiful rainbows all over the
place.
It's just I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (09:58):
That's such a good way to put that.
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:01):
And you know, if you really are straight, that's
cool.
If you're not, that's also cool.
There's no reason to be ashamedof it.
I understand that, you know,people are have tough families.
Um but you know, it's your life,it's short.
Don't let anybody sway you notto live it to your fullest and
(10:24):
love who you want.
SPEAKER_02 (10:26):
And explore as long as things are consensual.
Our whole, I think our societyteaches us that we're supposed
to be in these boxes.
And um, studies have reallyshown recently, they've done a
lot of studies that the more youbreak up your day with something
(10:48):
new, um, whether it's kink orsexuality or interests or
conversations you're gonna have,but breaking it up and not
having the same day really helpslike days last longer and are be
more meaningful.
So yeah, I love that.
(11:09):
Um, I have one here.
Can you describe the mostmemorable kink experience you've
had?
SPEAKER_00 (11:19):
Um our first date, which is my first kink event, my
first like actual.
SPEAKER_02 (11:27):
So we were so we were long distance for almost
nine months, and it was veryhard.
It was much harder than Ithought.
Everyone talks about longdistance, and I'd been long
distance, but um it was it wasgut-wrenching every time I left.
SPEAKER_03 (11:43):
Same.
SPEAKER_02 (11:45):
So when we finally got to actually be together, um,
yeah.
When we finally got to betogether, it was just like more
than fireworks.
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
It it was, even though it was in a very, very
peculiar hotel room with three,three full-size beds.
No clue why.
SPEAKER_02 (12:16):
So the first time that we met, guys, we our first
date was at a weekend long kinkevent.
And so um, we weren't staying inthe host hotel, we were staying
in the third overflow hotel,second or third overflow hotel,
and it was um a time.
SPEAKER_00 (12:37):
It was.
SPEAKER_02 (12:38):
There was Is that why it was memorable?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Oh, well, I mean, it was memorable because like that
was my first kink event, and italso included all kinds of well,
first weekend long.
SPEAKER_02 (12:50):
You'd been to parties.
SPEAKER_00 (12:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
Though the the parties were not so great.
We're just gonna put that outthere.
But this the kink event wasgreat.
Definitely got a lot of uh Ican't I can't tell you how many
bags I pulled out of that littlecar.
SPEAKER_02 (13:13):
I um I was pretty uh romantic.
I got you special blue roses.
SPEAKER_00 (13:21):
I know, and I spread them all over the room very
quickly as I was bringing inluggage behind you.
It was great.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Exactly.
So that was your most memorable?
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:36):
Okay.
Um, well, it wasn't okay.
So kink experience as a whole,since it was an event.
Got it.
I see.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
That that's where my brain took that question.
SPEAKER_02 (13:47):
That makes sense, yeah.
Um, what's one thing you wishmore people understood about
kink?
SPEAKER_00 (13:57):
You can't just let anybody say that they know what
they're doing.
You really need to understandwhat your kink safety is really
all about.
You can't just let some guy thatswears up and down a line he's a
(14:20):
daddy and a Dom come and dowhatever because that is where
you can get into unsafesituations.
SPEAKER_02 (14:29):
For sure.
Like, so like asking people's,like, what are your safety
protocols?
Like, what do you know about therisks about the play we're going
to do?
And specifically ask, not justdo you know the risks, well,
like asking a whole profile.
SPEAKER_00 (14:46):
Absolutely.
That also ties in to more alongthe lines of what I was saying,
like you need to understand anddo some research yourself, take
some classes, learn for yourselfthat what hazards can be
(15:07):
included in this type of thingyou're wanting to experience and
explore.
Like what are the dangers?
What the dangers are, like howhow things are supposed to be,
the fact you're actuallysupposed to have negotiation
beforehand about every detailabout what's going to occur in
in that scene.
(15:27):
That's something that was nottalked about in in my first
experiences in the kink world,and that's something I wish I
knew back then.
Because it was like, hey, areyou okay with you know, if you
sign up for this, you're justokay with it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:45):
Like you sign up to get a spot on stage and you're
not told, hey, like this is whatcould happen, or hey, you know,
you're up here for this amountof time.
You know, you can safe words,you can it's just, hey, you sign
up for this to experience this.
That's cool.
SPEAKER_02 (16:03):
I wish there was much more of a um like you
having to do, I don't know, likea BDSM 101 201 class before
being able to be at these eventsor parties or whatever.
Like, not that you can't playoutside of that, but I just wish
that was like a norm, like a astaple for every place.
SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
And it's not it's not because movies and TV they
romanticize the act.
So people think thateverything's like a movie, that
you can just go into it andeverything And yeah, there's
some dangers, but I'll be fine.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Like it's a small amount of danger rather than
like, oh, you could die fromthis.
Exactly.
Or like, oh, you could beseverely burned, or you could
lose mobility.
Right.
I can't tell you the amount ofpeople that I've known over the
years that now have some form ofnerve damage from bondage, even
(17:03):
like not extreme bondage.
Um, they just didn't know.
And um, they didn't know thatthey should tell people when to
stop and things like that,unfortunately.
Um how do you think kink andsexuality can promote greater
inclusion and acceptance?
(17:30):
And that's okay if you don'tknow how to answer that as a
white man.
SPEAKER_00 (17:35):
So the the way I see it, anytime I've gone to a kink
event, there's people from allgenders, from all races, from
all types of status, from allages.
SPEAKER_02 (17:52):
That surprised you that surprised you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:54):
Yeah, because it wasn't something that wasn't
readily known.
So it doesn't matter who you arein everyday life, as soon as
you're in a kink space, you'rewho you can and want to be.
There's there's nothing holdingyou back, there's no judgment.
(18:18):
Everybody is there welcoming aslong as everything is
consensual.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah, for sure.
I know.
So we just got back from kinkycollege in Chicago.
Um, and uh, I know one of thethings that was really nice for
you is to see a lot of people inour age range, um, you know, and
and a lot of differentidentities, like a lot of masks,
(18:45):
a lot of um pet play, a lot ofyou saw a lot of age play, and
like I guess like genderrepresentations.
SPEAKER_00 (18:56):
Yeah, because the the smaller events we went to
were normally older, uh were anolder crowd.
You didn't see a lot of youngcrowds.
Um whereas this one it's a lotof younger and more.
SPEAKER_02 (19:12):
It was a masse, but yes, a lot of younger.
SPEAKER_00 (19:16):
And it was way more diverse in in the the
communities under the alphabet.
SPEAKER_02 (19:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Absolutely.
We also saw saw a lot of likeum, you know, minorities, people
of um uh uh, you know, differentcultures, which is nice.
SPEAKER_00 (19:41):
And and and the beautiful thing is it's not just
for the able-bodied.
There are so many people in thecommunity that are disabled.
And that's I know that'ssomething I think most people
over like don't think about.
Like maybe they feel like theycan't be in it, but it doesn't
matter.
You're I mean, we saw peopleplaying in wheelchairs and stuff
(20:05):
and canes and it's justbeautiful that people know that
they can come into this and makefriends and open up and be
themselves.
And you know, that's a bigthing, even for me, you know,
especially so like just findingout I had autism and just like
making those connections of whyI was so weird growing up and
(20:27):
now like being in a place thataccepts your weirdness, that
accepts my weirdness.
Oh, I love that to just be meand just be weird and talk to
me.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Um, I think what I've noticed more in the years,
it wasn't like this when I firstgot involved, but more in these
kinks and in the lifestyle,they're having talks surrounding
neurodivergence in general andthe huge overlap in kink and
neurodivergence for multipledifferent reasons.
(21:03):
But I think one way that I thinkhelping to be more inclusive is
having those kind of workshops,like letting people know that
that's so normal.
There's so many people in thekink community that are
neurodivergence on the spectrum.
What, you know, on the wholeentire neurodivergence spectrum,
(21:25):
not just autism spectrum.
Um, but I just think it'sfascinating having these kind of
classes and then also havingclasses surrounding chronic
illness and disability with kinkand stuff, and being able to
have those classes helps make itmore normalized.
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
Yeah.
And and every day there'ssomething new being learned
about us as humans that's addingmore beauty to the kink scene.
SPEAKER_02 (21:53):
Absolutely.
Having these kind of spaces thatare specific for different
groups, I think is beneficial aswell.
Like I know we're talking aboutinclusion for like being
involved in these things, butsometimes I think about a lot of
BIPOC communities that don'tfeel comfortable around, you
know, I don't know, like whiteparties and things like that,
(22:17):
and being able to have like aspace that's specific for them
to be safe and to feel safe, orLGBTQIA plus people.
SPEAKER_03 (22:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:27):
And being able to have a space where they feel
safe, that they don't have to belike in a only heteronormative
space where they feel like anoutsider.
SPEAKER_03 (22:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:37):
So yeah, I think that's cool.
Um what's a personal kink orfantasy you're comfortable
sharing?
You could talk about a basicone.
(22:58):
You have a lot now that you'venow that you've met me.
Now that I'm sorry, there's alot.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_03 (23:14):
You could talk about a fireplay.
SPEAKER_00 (23:16):
Oh man, that that is a good one.
Thank you for reminding me ofthat one.
SPEAKER_02 (23:19):
I had to remind you.
SPEAKER_00 (23:21):
It's been so long.
SPEAKER_02 (23:23):
Ah, okay, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (23:26):
So incorporating fireplay with a hand job was
absolutely mind-blowing.
It was something, you know, I'veexperienced fire and having a
penis, I've experienced handjobs.
But sort of.
Sort of.
Well, before you it wasdefinitely a sort of.
(23:50):
But um when you were doing fireplay and then you started giving
me a hand job, it just fuckingblew my mind.
I did not know that that couldbe right there and be so amazing
to just uh.
SPEAKER_02 (24:14):
You were literally in ecstasy.
I don't know that I've ever seenyour eyes that far behind your
bed, uh your head.
SPEAKER_00 (24:22):
I think the only time I think the only other time
that you've said that issounding.
SPEAKER_02 (24:30):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
You are like that with soundingtoo.
Well, and you can't see my face,but that's typically what's
going on when you Well, Itypically put pillows behind you
so that your head goes up so Ican see your face.
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
Well, no, no, no.
I'm saying whenever whenever youdo impact.
SPEAKER_02 (24:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
That's any pretty much anytime you touch me, um,
I'm the next is honestly.
SPEAKER_02 (24:55):
I love that.
You're so cute.
Um, same though.
Um, got me all flustered.
I gotta find my questions.
I got the fanny fletus.
Um what is your favorite way tounwind and relax after a
(25:22):
passionate experience with me?
Besides passing out.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
Well, you know, the I learned from you the melatonin
that's released in the uh AMAPbody.
SPEAKER_02 (25:35):
Mm-hmm.
Well, it's released ineverybody, but I think it's more
in an AMAP body.
SPEAKER_00 (25:40):
Yeah.
For sure.
That's what you're saying.
Um Well, we enjoy laughs like noother.
And normally just recapping onour experience and just having a
good laugh or aha and somemotherfuckers is pretty nice.
SPEAKER_02 (26:01):
Well, they don't know what that is.
So basically we can explain yougotta explain to my listeners.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Yeah, so basically we'll get on her phone and we'll
play Family Feud or some othergame where you compete against
other people.
SPEAKER_02 (26:14):
After we've done aftercare and stuff, obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
Yeah.
Um, after we've smoked too.
Yeah.
Smoke and cuddle.
It's smoke and cuddle foraftercare, and then afterwards
it's aha and motherfuckers, andthat's where we get on and we
put our our freshly mushed highbrains together to come up with
(26:37):
answers.
To come up with answers and andand beat people in online games.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
And we when we beat them, we say aha.
SPEAKER_00 (26:45):
So we get on there and we aha motherfucker.
SPEAKER_02 (26:47):
Honestly, it feels really good to aha someone.
It really doesn't.
I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
It's your competitive nature, my darling.
SPEAKER_02 (26:55):
I don't have it anymore so much, do I?
SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
Okay, I do.
Got it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:02):
Anytime Jackbox is involved, or or what is it?
Heads up?
SPEAKER_02 (27:07):
And heads up.
SPEAKER_00 (27:07):
Heads up.
SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
Exactly.
Right.
Um what would advice would yougive to folks who feel they
don't fit in traditionalsexuality norms?
Or I guess even traditionalsocietal norms, you can even
(27:30):
say.
Since you identify as like anoutsider like I do, you know, as
an outside the box thinker, andso I've always felt as an
outsider.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Um, you know, I I couldn't quite put my finger on
it growing up, but there was alot of a lot of trauma, just
like anybody else.
Um but there was a lot of thingsthat was different about me.
Um so I I never really felt likeI fit in.
(28:12):
I was trying to find my place,and that was a lot of not
knowing who I was, and thenunderstanding that you know, you
don't have to be traditional.
You don't have to, you know,have the Disney portrayed, you
(28:37):
know.
Life.
Yeah, the life.
It doesn't have to always beperfect.
It doesn't have to be, you know,American dream with the wife and
kids and picket fences.
It's and the wife is astay-at-home mom.
It doesn't have to be that way.
(28:58):
And and that was an experiencethat I had to learn the hard
way.
Um I've definitely caused myselfa lot of trauma for trying to
chase that drain.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
Um only I think a lot of people have.
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
Yeah.
And you know, if it works outfor you, great.
If it doesn't, that doesn't meanyou're a defect.
That doesn't mean there'ssomething wrong with you.
That just means that that's notyour lane.
That's not what the universe ismeant for you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:27):
You're meant to create a new path.
SPEAKER_00 (29:29):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (29:30):
Um it's like more you're more so like telling
people like just like acceptthemselves for themselves.
SPEAKER_00 (29:37):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
As long as it's perfectly legal.
Don't don't be a don't be thatguy.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Or that girl.
It's not always about that.
SPEAKER_00 (29:48):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
There are not so great women as well.
Which we are aware of.
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Yes, we're both very aware of us.
SPEAKER_02 (29:58):
Um, alright.
Let's jump into some a couplecannabis questions.
How about that?
All right.
So um what's a commonmisconception about cannabis
that you've heard?
SPEAKER_00 (30:15):
It's a gateway.
It's not a gateway.
SPEAKER_02 (30:17):
Oh my god, a heat.
SPEAKER_00 (30:19):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_02 (30:21):
It's a gateway to the to the couch.
It's a gateway to the bridge.
SPEAKER_00 (30:26):
I mean, it's a gateway to a little bit of
weight gain, but honestly, it'sa gateway to fucking less stress
and anxiety.
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
For sure.
I think that it's becoming morewell known as this, like as
medicinal purposes.
Like, oh, it's not just forpeople who want to get fucked
up.
It's there's so many reasons whypeople consume.
SPEAKER_00 (30:50):
I know for your chronic pain, it helps wonders.
Yeah.
I mean, and even then there aretimes where it doesn't.
And that's that's the thing.
I know for me, it's great forheadaches.
It's great for my stress andanxiety when I'm overwhelmed,
when I'm overstimulated anddon't know what to do.
SPEAKER_02 (31:06):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (31:07):
Um, it's also great for my pain.
You know, my back hurts, I'mtall.
SPEAKER_02 (31:15):
I understand.
SPEAKER_00 (31:20):
Um But yeah, I've weeds never made me been like,
wow, you know, this is so great.
I just want to get so high onanother drug.
On crystal meth.
Right.
Like the the gateway thing's abunch of bullshit.
It's all about where you're atmentally and the people you have
(31:40):
around you.
SPEAKER_02 (31:41):
Yeah, absolutely.
If you you're gonna want to trythose drugs, it has nothing to
do with you trying cannabis orconsuming.
Um learned about yourselfthrough Kink.
SPEAKER_00 (32:17):
So through Kink I've learned that, you know, I am I
am more fluid um with mysexuality with who I am as a
(32:40):
person.
Like I don't every day I am aman's man, tall, bearded, works
with my hands, but in kink Idon't I don't have to be that.
I can I can be submissive, I canbe a little femme, I don't have
(33:01):
to be, I could be a little.
I don't I don't have to I don'thave to stay is how I am.
However I'm feeling is how I canbe in kink.
SPEAKER_02 (33:13):
I love that.
That's so powerful.
I don't think people talk aboutthat enough and how they can
present and how it gives thepower to be able to present
however the fuck you want andthat time that that people can
(33:35):
have so many different roles andshow up in a different role
every day.
SPEAKER_00 (33:39):
Yeah, and it's because of the safety that there
is in the community.
Like you're it's not that I'mashamed of who I am, it's that
you know, I've I've got a lot ofpeople I need to protect.
And if it um it's something thatyou know, I'm with the world how
(34:08):
it is now, I would ratherunfortunately I would rather
appear to be one of the fuckingtough guys, one of the tough
guys to protect those around me.
SPEAKER_02 (34:23):
For sure.
SPEAKER_00 (34:24):
But whenever kink's involved, I'm free to be me.
SPEAKER_02 (34:31):
Yeah, I love that.
I wonder like how many otherpeople like feel that way, that
they're just like, you know,like I know a lot of people in
the professional industry thatI've you know had as clients
that are these masculine, hugeCEO, big time um like dominant
(35:02):
personalities in real life, intheir real life.
And then in kink, they can befeminized, they can be a sissy,
they can be, they want to bethat, right?
Part of it's like balance, andpart of it's like they're able
to be whatever they want to befor that time frame.
So, like I've seen it a lot inthat way, but I don't know how
(35:25):
many other people have had thosesimilar experiences.
Probably a lot.
I'm assuming a lot.
What's one piece of advice you'dgive your younger self?
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
Do therapy.
SPEAKER_02 (35:50):
Yeah, earlier for sure.
I love that.
Mental health fucking matters.
It does.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Because honestly, there's so much of myself that
I'm I'm having to go back andheal because I didn't I didn't
do the therapy when I wasyounger.
And I also would have had myautism diagnosis a little bit
(36:16):
sooner, I believe, um, whichwould have greatly altered some
feelings, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_02 (36:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I think um people have an ideaand a real scary thought toward
mental health and like therapy.
And um I think when you find agood therapist, the connection
(36:47):
is so powerful.
And like you that's when you cando your healing.
Well, when you're in a safeenvironment and you're you're
with people who support you, butalso having someone that you
click with and feels good.
SPEAKER_00 (37:03):
Well, I think the beautiful thing now is this
generation, our generation islike understanding that and
trying to get it for the youngergeneration, trying to get them
to help that we didn't have.
SPEAKER_02 (37:15):
I know it's not yeah, our parents weren't told
to go to therapy, they were toldto suck it up.
SPEAKER_00 (37:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:21):
I mean, we I was too.
But I think there's ourgeneration and and younger are
trying to break thesegenerational curses and
generational trauma.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:37):
Um, so yeah, it makes sense.
What is one major aspect of BDSMthat I have taught you?
Besides some of the stuff thatyou've already said.
SPEAKER_00 (37:54):
One of the biggest aspects you've taught me.
SPEAKER_02 (38:02):
You have talked about safety and you have talked
about negotiations.
SPEAKER_00 (38:08):
Yeah, that's I mean, honestly, without that, like
nothing else really Honestly,without that, nothing else
matters.
If you don't understand thenegotiation aspect of tank and
you don't understand the safety,then you shouldn't be doing the
(38:29):
things.
Well, not just that, yourexperience could be tanked
because you and the personyou're trying this with don't
understand the risks.
So it could be a bad experiencefor you and they think that
they're doing a fantastic job.
SPEAKER_02 (38:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:45):
And then they go out and do that to other people.
SPEAKER_02 (38:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
So education and safety are paramount in this,
and and that's the greatestthing I took away from it from
anything that we've done.
SPEAKER_02 (39:02):
And that I've taught you.
SPEAKER_00 (39:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:04):
I've taught you some cool techniques.
SPEAKER_00 (39:06):
You you have.
SPEAKER_02 (39:09):
But yeah.
But yeah.
Um.
Is there anything that youwanted to talk about with our
time?
SPEAKER_00 (39:20):
Well, I'm just, you know, working in the shop,
trying to figure out some newcool things to add to the site.
Maybe some new furniture, somenew uh, some new paddle designs.
SPEAKER_02 (39:36):
We've been coming up with some cool ones.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
We have.
SPEAKER_02 (39:40):
And uh I know you're working on a smother box.
SPEAKER_00 (39:43):
Smotherbox.
Um what is it you called it?
The cuffs, the boot?
SPEAKER_02 (39:55):
The bootstrap cuffs?
What cuffs?
The oh, the yoke.
SPEAKER_03 (40:02):
Yoke.
SPEAKER_02 (40:03):
The yoke.
Yes.
You're gonna make some coolyokes and stuff.
I love that.
Also, yay to bondage.
We love bondage.
SPEAKER_00 (40:18):
We gotta have a test subject, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (40:21):
Thought that's what Parker's for.
Our little crash test dummy.
Um, okay, so all right, sothat's what's coming up with
you.
Um, how about like what are somepro dom sessions that you want
(40:46):
to have that you haven't hadyet?
I love when the cute subby boyssubmit to you.
SPEAKER_03 (41:06):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (41:06):
I do love that.
It's a little hot for me, I'mnot gonna lie.
SPEAKER_00 (41:12):
Yeah, you you just have that thing.
And that's perfectly finebecause it's enjoyable for me as
well.
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (41:22):
So, what kind of things would would be hot for
you?
You did get some really nice newboots.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
I did.
I did.
SPEAKER_02 (41:30):
Maybe some boot worship sessions?
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Boot worship, maybe somebody wants to be stepped on.
Be stepped on.
Maybe somebody wants to feellike I'm a giant.
SPEAKER_02 (41:41):
Yes, I love that.
Can you say it a little slowernext time?
No, I'm just saying.
Yeah, well, now that you'relike, you know, learn you've
learned like a lot of likeimpact skills, it might be cool
for you to have some likeover-the-knee stuff.
(42:01):
Some over-the-knee impactsessions.
SPEAKER_00 (42:04):
I mean, you know.
Poor daddy's gotta hand out someuh punishment.
You know, maybe that looks likesomebody's been a bad they,
them, he, him, she, she, she,her.
SPEAKER_02 (42:20):
I love that.
There might be some naughtylisteners listening in right
now.
SPEAKER_00 (42:25):
Maybe.
SPEAKER_02 (42:27):
I think you should do your I think you should do
your daddy voice for them.
SPEAKER_00 (42:31):
My daddy voice.
SPEAKER_02 (42:32):
Growl and growl.
They might find it hot.
SPEAKER_00 (42:36):
Uh I don't know if I can do the growl right now.
My throat's pretty scratchedwith the cold.
Fair.
Been brought into this house.
SPEAKER_02 (42:43):
Fair.
SPEAKER_00 (42:44):
Fair.
SPEAKER_02 (42:46):
Um maybe we'll have you like read a story sometime
for the listeners.
Maybe.
I don't know if you guys areready for that though.
It's fire.
And then when he starts addingaccents in.
SPEAKER_00 (43:03):
So Roy Kinnan, though.
SPEAKER_02 (43:04):
He's very good with his accents.
Um, all right.
We always ask our people that wehave on, and while you are very
different, you're not differentin this.
We're gonna ask you the samequestion.
What is one of your favoriteways to connect with a partner?
By partner, I mean me.
SPEAKER_00 (43:29):
My favorite way to connect with you is through
touch and laughter.
SPEAKER_02 (43:35):
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (43:37):
So just touching your body and feeling your
energy anytime, and there aretimes I can feel your energy
without having to touch you.
But just absolutely getting theenergy through the touch is just
(43:58):
it's so wonderful.
It's I feel so connected withyou, and then you know, when you
throw in um breathing.
SPEAKER_02 (44:11):
Like our deep breathing that we do.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
Yeah, our deep breathing exercises, and we get
on the same heart.
It's like we get on the sameheartbeat, the same breath
pattern, and it's just we're soconnected and so great.
SPEAKER_02 (44:22):
I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (44:24):
Because I've never had that with anybody else.
I never knew how to connect withanybody else.
SPEAKER_02 (44:31):
Uh-huh.
I love that.
Makes me feel special things.
SPEAKER_00 (44:36):
We are special.
SPEAKER_02 (44:39):
Um, anything else you want to share with the
folks?
Nothing?
Anything?
SPEAKER_00 (44:45):
Um.
If you have it and get onlineand look at all these classes,
there's there's quite a lot ofclasses.
How many classes do y'all haveonline though?
SPEAKER_02 (44:57):
Um on my on-demand classes, I have 77 on there
right now.
SPEAKER_00 (45:02):
And they go from 101s to 201s to intensive.
SPEAKER_02 (45:08):
Advanced, all the things.
And a few of them you're demobottoming in.
And I know you're going to bedemo bottoming for some more
stuff.
So some people can see you inyour skippies, what do they call
it?
And yeah, unwiss.
(45:30):
Um, yeah, okay.
Well, thank you for coming on.
And um maybe we'll have somemore episodes, some fun stuff
with you in it for future ifyou're down.
SPEAKER_00 (45:43):
I am absolutely okay with that.
This has been a greatexperience.
SPEAKER_02 (45:48):
Oh, thank you.
You're down to clown.
SPEAKER_00 (45:49):
Down to clown.
SPEAKER_02 (45:52):
Thank you so much for joining.
I hope you um had a good time.
Not didn't really learn much,probably, but I hope you had a
good time.
And I look forward to um seeingyou guys in future classes,
future events, all of thethings.
Take care of yourselves.
SPEAKER_00 (46:13):
Later.
SPEAKER_02 (46:15):
Thanks for joining us.
Tune in next time for moreAdventures in the Lounge.
And remember, always keep anopen mind.
You never know what's around thecorner.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.