September 27, 2024 • 44 mins
After a 4 moth hiatus..... WE'RE BACK!
In this episode we're updating you on all the things that have been going on behind the scenes including our new collaborations, partnerships, and how much fun we've been having!
We also dive into the fantasy of transactional sex with your partner. Is it okay to to make sex transactional? Doesn't that take away from your intimacy? Spoilers..... HELL NO it doesn't! When explored through the lens of fantasy and in ways that can actually facilitate MORE intimacy, transactional sex can be a ton of fun!
Mentioned in this episode
@wildflowerintimates Grace at wildflower intimates might have THE best lingerie shop on the planet! She offers free bra fittings that will have you questioning WHY you never had a proper one done as well as some of the most amazing undergarments you will ever see. In fact, Casey and Kari will be hosting an intro to Shibari workshop at Wildflower on November 15th, 2024!
@madisonfromdallas We are happy to be going through rebranding with THE madison from dallas. You may have seen here recent work featuring artists like the meteoric Chapelle Roan. We were elated to eb able to hang with Madison. Her work is PHENOMENAL!
@shibaristudios Shibari studio is THE premier studio in Fort Worth for both seasoned and new Shibari enthusiasts. Whether you are new to the ropes or an experienced Rigger or Bunny, Shibari studios offers a safe and consent driven environment to explore your rope fantasies. All memberships include a background check and waiver to ensure safety for all participants. They also offer courses from intro classes to advanced suspension classes and even world class performances! USE CODE CWKC1023 at checkout from shibaristudios.com for $25 off your membership good through October 31st 2024.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
casey (00:00):
This episode has been a long time coming.
kari (2) (00:03):
We haven't recorded in a minute.
It's fine.
casey (00:06):
It's fine.
kari (2) (00:07):
Four months.
It's four months without anepisode.
We've been
casey (00:12):
doing episodes weekly for the past two years.
kari (2) (00:15):
Can I say how proud I am for the fact that we've done
them weekly because now thatwe're like getting more into the
podcasting world, people arelike, y'all did that shit
weekly.
I'm like, yes, every.
Single week.
casey (00:27):
Well, people that we've talked to have been like, Oh
yeah, we sat down and werecorded an entire season's
worth of content over a weekend.
kari (2) (00:33):
Yeah.
I don't want to do that.
casey (00:34):
And no, we like the, I like not the, I want to say
impulsivity, but I definitelywant to say like
kari (2) (00:40):
current.
casey (00:40):
Yeah.
How current it makes the, thequestions that we're answering
and the topics that we cover.
kari (2) (00:45):
Yeah.
Because a lot of times we sitdown.
So if you're unaware, we recorda lot of our episodes on
Tuesdays that are then releasedon Fridays.
Yeah.
From one Friday to the nextTuesday with the world we're in,
shit changes, a lot changes, newinformation is
casey (01:00):
published, things change, people change, questions arise.
And we want to try to stay up todate with a lot of that.
So we do, we've made theconscious decision to do our
episodes weekly.
And now it's been a minute.
kari (2) (01:11):
But why did we stop?
Stop, what happened in our life?
casey (01:15):
We had to move.
I don't, I didn't, I say had to,and I mean that genuinely
kari (2) (01:19):
aggressively had to quickly, not chose
casey (01:22):
to move, had to move.
kari (2) (01:23):
So we had been in a place that we had lived in for
six years and in April, we got anotice that we had 60 days to
vacate.
Um, they were looking to sell,which we understand when you
rent, you understand that at anypoint your home could go up for
sale.
We understood that.
It was just.
I, I guess still an expecting,of course, it's always
casey (01:45):
a surprise.
kari (2) (01:46):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially because every year weget that like new notice and
it's like one more year andwe're like, check the box.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Thanks.
casey (01:55):
Next.
So receiving that email thatsays we have decided not to
renew your lease.
My mind immediately went tolike, what did we do wrong?
kari (2) (02:02):
Yeah.
You went, well, no, you did, butyou went to Mr.
Fix it.
Which is fine.
Like everyone in theirrelationship needs a Mr.
Fix it.
And I went to like, no, I needto process this emotionally and
aggressively.
Mine
casey (02:17):
was straight for.
I'm finding us a place liketoday
kari (2) (02:21):
was at conflict resolution.
That is what you went to, youknow?
Um, but yes, it, it did put usin a pause and in the show,
right.
We had to pack up.
Um, but that also gave us a timeto reflect on our name.
casey (02:38):
Yes.
kari (2) (02:38):
Right.
Like
casey (02:39):
on where we stand with the CW Casey brand.
kari (2) (02:43):
Yeah.
And that maybe it's a
casey (02:45):
C brand.
Yeah.
The
kari (2) (02:46):
come with Casey
casey (02:47):
insert, it tends to be and how,
kari (2) (02:49):
how we got, you know, some of
casey (02:51):
the public reaction to it, which I want to, can I, can
I say something on the kind oflike mini rant,
kari (2) (02:57):
this is our platform to rant
casey (02:58):
like two minutes on a two minutes,
kari (2) (03:00):
maybe a minute.
casey (03:02):
Um, I ran into an old friend the other day.
Uh, who was singing praises for,for the show.
He was like, Oh man, I listenedto the show.
I think it's great what y'allare doing.
People need this education, thissex positivity, all this in the
world.
But then he also let slip thatmost of the people he's talked
to that these are people we'veknown from years and years ago
(03:22):
are like on some level are likemaking fun of it or trash
talking or just offended oroffended
kari (2) (03:28):
by calm.
Why?
When did calm become offensive?
casey (03:31):
And so my thought process that was like.
morbid, but I remember hearingthis quote a while back where I
was like, that resonates withme.
And this person had essentiallysaid to all of these haters, um,
If you were to die today, mylife would no, no different.
And so yes, that's, that's law.
(03:52):
On the heavy side, it's a bitmorbid, but No, but, but the
kari (2) (03:54):
truth in it, it's because you have no effect on
what we do.
It doesn't.
And us going through andrebranding and altering our
title really doesn't haveanything to do with the people
that choose to be offended byit.
casey (04:09):
No.
It has everything to do with thecensorship we experience online.
Yeah.
I
kari (2) (04:13):
mean, we had our first.
Instagram page that was deletedor reported and we lost
everything.
We had such a following, likeour page was growing.
And the thing is, is our pageisn't growing to our own
satisfaction.
We were helping people.
And then we woke up one day.
Gone.
All of it.
We've already, I mean, we've
casey (04:32):
talked about that.
We have.
kari (2) (04:34):
And so we decided at this time that we knew we had to
slow down.
We weren't going to be able torecord on the level that we
wanted to or needed to.
Why not utilize this time for alittle bit of rebranding?
A little bit of going back tothe drawing board and, and
trying to figure out how tounfortunately adhere to said
(04:56):
criticisms, but also standards
casey (04:58):
and guidelines, community
kari (2) (05:00):
standards and guidelines.
But how can we grow from this?
How can we become better insteadof being bitter?
I'd rather be better thanbitter.
casey (05:07):
Ultimately, the goal is to reach as many people as
possible.
And if we, and if we at thisstage.
I have to adhere to some rules.
Then you know what?
So then
kari (2) (05:16):
fine.
We will come in peace.
Oh, I mean, no, well,
casey (05:22):
that sounded so fake,
kari (2) (05:24):
didn't even mean that
casey (05:25):
it
kari (2) (05:29):
wasn't though.
No, we, we will, uh, take comeout of our title and we are, we
are rebranding, which actuallyintroduced us to some really bad
ass opportunities and peoplethat we actually want to discuss
right now,
casey (05:44):
go online as soon as you can and go look up Madison from
Dallas.
Madison is helping us currentlywith our rebranding.
She just did our photographysessions.
Oh
kari (2) (05:53):
my God.
Our rebranding shoot was one ofthe funnest shoots
casey (05:56):
we've had in a while.
We were able to collaborate withour good friends at nickel city
in south Fort worth to give usaccess to the bar so we can do
someone.
I don't want to divulge any toomany stories.
I don't
kari (2) (06:07):
want to say who helped us do that either, because
apparently they just want tohelp us.
And I love that for us.
So we have some people at nickelcity that we've, you know, grown
to love and they love us andthey allowed us into their
space.
And, and then, uh, Madison didsuch a.
Amazing, like detailed job.
What type of shoot do you want?
(06:28):
So I took my ass to Pinterestand I was like, bold imagery,
like sexy coupling, likewhatever I could do to, to
really show the brand that wewant to be.
And I, yeah.
And I send her this uh, what doyou call them?
Mood board, a mood board.
And, and she literally was ableto take every single aspect of
that shoot and say, or my moodboard, I'm sorry.
(06:50):
And say This is where we'regoing to go.
This is how we're going toshoot.
This is what we're going to do.
I'm looking at what you sent me.
I am, I am taking that to heartand I'm going to help you
recreate that.
And I know that we haven't seenthe images yet, but oh my God.
I
casey (07:06):
did magnificent.
Even the test step that I saw,like through her camera,
kari (2) (07:10):
I was trying to edit.
There was a moment that she wentto the bathroom and I'm like,
Lord, I just wanna turn it on.
Look at a few.
I'm not gonna because it's, it'snot like proper etiquette and I
get that.
No, not at all.
But it's not, and I wouldn't,and I didn't, but I, I did want
(07:30):
to.
kari (07:31):
Yeah.
kari (2) (07:31):
Um, but not only through this like rebranding
opportunity to allow us to meetMadison, and I'm so excited to
work with her, but it alsobrought us to an opportunity
that we had to work with alocal, um, Bo, or not Bora, I'm
so sorry.
Uh, bra.
Like bra, like bra, bra, like
casey (07:50):
go ahead.
This is my favorite part when
kari (2) (07:52):
I describe,
casey (07:53):
no, it's not, it's not a hate.
It's curiosity.
Cause I want to see where you gowith
kari (2) (07:57):
it.
This is a lady that owns aboutique off of Magnolia in
South Fort Worth and she doesbras and pantaloons.
You're just gonna let me keeprolling with this
casey (08:10):
and her name is
kari (2) (08:11):
and her name is grace.
Oh
casey (08:12):
my god You got it.
kari (2) (08:14):
I'm terrible with names.
So thank you.
I'm proud of myself and hercompany is is is wildflower
intimates I'm
casey (08:23):
proud of you That's my good girl
kari (2) (08:26):
Babe, don't i'm blushing Wildflower wildflower
intimates.
So yeah, so, uh, she owns aboutique off of magnolia and Um,
she focuses a lot on like brapositivity whole
casey (08:39):
body positivity.
kari (2) (08:40):
I mean, yes, but
casey (08:41):
inclusive.
kari (2) (08:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
Like you need to go check outthe shop.
But I chose that wordspecifically because when, when
you, and like take a back seatto this, when you grow up as a
woman and you get your, Likebras and like size and you don't
know what you are.
And you go to one place and theytell you you're a 36 B and you
go to another place and theytell you you're a 32 triple D.
(09:03):
And then you're like, you'revery confused.
You don't know what to get.
And I've been measured.
I've walked in.
And unfortunately, yes, mymeasurement was a Victoria's
Secret.
But most women can relate tothat.
I was never sized up until thatpoint.
Anything else was just goinginto a fitting room.
And I remember going in andgetting sized.
And I think she gave me like, itwas like a 36 D and they're also
(09:31):
like, bras fucking suck.
Right?
Like if you know me, you, you'veseen me, I don't fucking wear
bras because they're souncomfortable.
And we never know what to get.
And so I walked in, we talked toher for a while.
We'll go into this a whole otherepisode, but I went in and I
literally, I put my arms up inlike a T and I was ready, like,
(09:54):
all right, size me up.
And she didn't fucking touch meat once.
She just, I was going to
casey (09:59):
say the, the, probably the, the most impressive thing
about grace in that moment wasthat she took a look at you and
sized you almost.
Perfectly,
kari (2) (10:08):
it was, I mean, in all honesty, it was perfect.
Like she didn't necessarilyalter.
Okay.
So you might know this becauseyou're more like familiar, but
say like a 34 D double D I'msorry.
34 double D is the same as likea 36 D.
Right.
So it just changes like the, youknow, whatever this is called.
(10:30):
I'm pointing to it.
Casey, tell, tell the audiencewhat I mean.
They can't see, they don't know.
They can't see me though.
Whatever this thing is, no, yourwaist, like your, what your.
God, you're making me sound likean idiot.
Anyway, I'm not doing anything,but anyways, it was just, yes,
(10:52):
we went in.
It was immediate.
This is what you are.
Tried this on.
And again, sizes could rangeagain from like a 34, double D
to a 36 D.
Those are like pretty muchinterchangeable.
Um, But she brought out this braand it would never be something
that I would choose for mebecause also when we're growing
up, we're taught to, uh, buy abra that makes you feel sexy or
(11:17):
buy a bra for, um, beingathletic or buy a bra for it's
never a bra for every occasion.
Kind of right.
And so this one I like put onand I was like, not only do I
feel sexy in this bra, but Ihave never felt so much support
in like my shoulders in like thewidth area in even like her,
(11:41):
she'd be like, and I love it.
Cause she was like, may I adjustyou?
Right.
So every time that she was goingin to adjust, she was like
asking permission.
You
casey (11:48):
know how big we are in consent.
Yeah.
kari (2) (11:49):
Consent is like huge.
It kind of turned me on.
I was like, God, you guys canconsent so well.
Um, but she was like, let meadjust to you.
And she like pulls your, yourtit up and out in the proper
area.
And like, I was just like.
casey (12:02):
She had a name for it too.
kari (2) (12:03):
She did.
I don't want to butcher it.
Because we're also going to talkto her about it on the show
later on.
And so we want her to say it,but for her to even be like,
this is how you need to placeyour boobs.
This is how you need to wear it.
This is what size to put it onor like how to adjust it to your
shoulders.
It was just not something thatwe were taught growing up as
(12:25):
women.
And.
I just feel like I've been liedto my entire life.
I'm 36 years old and I justfound out that I'm a 34 Gigi.
kari (4) (12:37):
The fact I'm a G G, you know, the
casey (12:43):
fact that we called my grandmother Gigi, just that was
an odd hit
kari (2) (12:49):
it, you know, and I'm really going to roll with that
from here on out.
casey (12:53):
Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, that's going to be a
kari (2) (12:55):
thing.
Like these are my Gigi's.
So anyways, we had an
casey (12:59):
opportunity with her, like she did amazing with the
fitting, uh, and spoiler alert.
We are planning on having her onthe show here in the near
future, so be on the lookout forthat.
But we're able to do get fromthat whole meeting is that we
have a plan.
kari (2) (13:14):
Well, we have a place.
casey (13:16):
Yeah, we now have a place.
So if you've followed along withus for any period of time, you
know, that one of the biggestthings we love to talk about and
that we employ into our ownkinky lives is Shabari, the
Japanese art of rope bondage.
It's something that's becomevery close to me.
It's something that's Kerry hasbeen so.
Graceful to, to learn how tobecome a bottom with.
(13:36):
And, uh, we've been teachingthese, these introductory
classes over the past littlebit.
kari (2) (13:42):
And we've had a lot of, uh, attendees and a lot of
like inquiries.
So
casey (13:49):
one of my favorite things about these classes that we've
been teaching is the amount ofdiversity that we've seen.
You want to talk about, you knowthat I love DNI, uh, and
whenever we're able to havethese attendees that are coming
from all walks of life, allrelationship styles, like there,
it's, It's amazing to see theamount of people who are just
like, yes, let's, let's attendand see what we can get out of
(14:12):
it.
So it's become this really coolAvenue for us to not only meet
people, but to really see moreof the relationship diversity
that exists in the world.
And so now we are happy toannounce this cool little
introductory partnership withwildflower intimates to do an
intro to Shabari class, aShabari one on one where we talk
about.
(14:32):
Like the sensuality behind it,the purpose behind it.
And then we learn how to do acouple of basic ties and just
kind of hang out and have funwith it.
kari (2) (14:39):
Yeah, it's just cool to bring events like this to all
areas.
And it's open for all people.
And that's one of the biggestthings that we preach on.
Anything that we do, anythingthat we're advertising.
Understand that this is like.
everyone.
Um, and this is just the nextphase and, and what it is that
we're doing, you know,obviously, you know, if you've
(15:01):
been listening, um, all along,it really started with the
podcast, um, and, and then Caseywent into his even furthering,
like counseling degree.
Um, Uh, I'm focusing on mine.
We are working with Shabari.
We're working with other likeminded people.
This is just all to get you tounderstand and, and and even for
us to really reach out and graspthat, like, we, we are really
(15:23):
here for everybody.
Um, and.
I really look forward to notjust this one, but the next one
that we have going on.
Like we, we really have a lot ofthings spinning.
And then this time that we hadapart from the show had allowed
us to just put all thesedifferent thoughts into motion
and we're bringing those to youthis year.
casey (15:44):
Yeah.
So with, with the wildflowerintimates class that we're
doing, those are going to bestarting in November.
Um, and we're going to see howthe first one goes.
But however, if you're lookingto get in a little bit sooner
and you're wanting to learnabout Shibari and about how it
can be used in your own kinkylife, then we're also happy to
announce that on October 15th,which is a Tuesday, we're going
(16:06):
to be teaching a Shibari one onone class at Shibari studios
here in North Fort Worth.
If you have not heard of theseguys, check them out.
If you follow a follower, don'twhatever Shibari supply
official.
You'll get a good look at them.
However, if you get ahead overto their, uh, their studio page,
uh, Shibari Studios, then you'regoing to see a lot more about
(16:27):
their location.
This place is, it's huge.
It's huge.
There's like 20 plus hardpoints.
Yeah.
There is a full stage.
There's lighting.
There's, well, yeah, there's a,there's a stage.
There's
kari (2) (16:38):
the rigs that are set up in all different areas.
There's an upstairs area thatallows for like a seating room
ever.
Like if you're wanting to dolike observe, there's also a
performance area in theupstairs, they have a separate
room.
That's the separate room isgoing to be for a few different
things.
Say that like you're in theseparate room or I'm so sorry,
in the main room.
And we're doing like a veryfocused,
kari (17:00):
it's a social room.
kari (2) (17:01):
Yeah.
Then there's going to be asocial room, but he was also
setting it up as like, even likea quiet space, like if you need
a place to go, if you're maybesensory overload, um, so it's
really nice to have a.
Platform for all differentvariations of Shabar that you
want to be able to do.
casey (17:18):
The way that our good friend Riker has put it is that
it's a safe, inclusive space todevelop your rope skills.
So whether you're a seasonedveteran, who's practicing some
complex harnesses and want toget some crazy, crazy suspension
stuff going on, or you've nevertouched a rope in your life and
you're just looking how to dosome basics, this is a great
(17:39):
place to go.
They offer various levels ofmembership.
Um, and which you can, you know,if you can go all in and get
their subscription, which allowsyou to get access to every
single class, uh, without extracost or you can do their basic
membership, which I think it'slike 25 and then that gives you
access to buy tickets to theirevents.
Now, what, the reason there's amemberships and what you may
(18:01):
know this, you may not.
But in the world of ropes and inthe, in the world of a lot of
these areas, one of the biggestthings that they preach is all
about consent and all aboutsafety.
So naturally these kinds ofthings come with a vetting
process.
So whenever you sign up for amembership, uh, you give them
your information.
They go, they put you through apretty basic, uh, background
check.
(18:21):
to just kind of feel through tosee if you're appropriate or if
you have any sort of history.
They also have a very, uh,connected network with other
areas, with other places in thearea that are dungeons and
things like that, that can helpto find out if any people that
are applying for membership haveany, have had any like consent
violations or anything likethat.
So this place has been myfavorite to see a really good
(18:42):
Practice put in for safety andensuring that its members and
attendees are in a safe,comfortable, trusting space.
So make sure that you take alook at our class.
That's going to be coming upthere.
That one's going to be onOctober 15th, October 15th.
Yes.
And so in fact, if you go totheir website, you can put in
our coupon code.
(19:03):
It's I believe it's C W K C 1024 1 0 2 4.
And it'll get you, uh, I mean, Ithink it's like 25 bucks off.
So you basically get either abasic membership for free or you
can put it towards yoursubscription and get a discount
there.
Yeah.
So again, head over to, you cango to Shabari studios.
com and you can take a look attheir memberships, put in our
(19:25):
discount code CWKC.
I think it's 1024.
It was 10, 10, 24.
Uh, that's good through October31st.
So keep an eye out for those twoclasses.
We are super fucking excited toget those going.
kari (2) (19:39):
We're excited for all of our shit.
I can't wait for the rebranding.
I can't wait for the connectionsthat we're making, but you know
what?
Let's get the damn topic becausethis is a topic that I've wanted
to talk about in the past and wedidn't fully have it written out
and.
We also have to like, make surethat we like present it
appropriately.
But this is something that we'vedone for how many years now?
(20:04):
Do maybe at least
casey (20:06):
longer than that,
kari (2) (20:07):
really?
Yes.
Okay.
casey (20:09):
Yes.
So the first question we wouldwant to answer before we like
really dive into it is thequestion of should sex Be
transactional or sexual acts betransactional.
Carrie, you want to, you want totackle that?
I've
kari (2) (20:26):
heard a lot of nose,
casey (20:27):
right?
kari (2) (20:27):
I've heard a lot of nose.
You hear
casey (20:29):
it all the time.
And let's be clear.
It can be detrimental in arelationship when sex becomes
transactional.
If you start doing things like.
Giving ultimatums.
Like I'm not going to sleep withyou unless you are doing the
dishes.
Yeah.
You better do the dishes oryou're not getting sex.
You better do this or I'm goingto withhold sex where this is
(20:50):
happening.
So I'm therefore going to useweaponize.
kari (3) (20:52):
Yeah,
casey (20:53):
sex as a way to get you to behave.
And that creates this powerdynamic, this power struggle
within a relationship that canbe grossly detrimental.
However, however, however, ifyou are in a secure
relationship.
That is experiencing lots oftrust.
That's where you haven't createdthat weaponization, safe place,
(21:16):
nonjudgmental are three Cs,right?
Communication, consent,comfortability.
Then you can start totransactionalize sex in a way
that could be fun because itfulfills a fantasy and it opens
you up to new ways to play.
So what we did in ourrelationship a number of years
back was we created The menu,
kari (3) (21:37):
the menu.
casey (21:38):
And this has been such a fun thing for us because it does
allow us to have this almosttransactional fantasy, uh, while
exploring various
kari (2) (21:48):
explaining the opportunities.
Yeah.
So it kind of started.
I mean, I guess you're right atthis was a few years back, but,
um, I think I had like joked onetime about giving you like one
of the best blow jobs ever, butI like wanted a fucking dress on
Amazon, you know?
And so I was simple.
It was so, yeah.
(22:09):
And, and I was like, okay, thatdress was like 50 bucks.
So fine.
I will blow you in any way thatyou want, however you want it to
be done.
But I want you to buy me thisdress.
Or Venmo me this amount and youfucking immediately did it.
It was like,
casey (22:27):
it was immediate.
Like it was very much.
I got like
kari (2) (22:29):
the little ping and it was like Casey Venmo to you with
a little like
casey (22:36):
emojis emoji.
Yeah.
kari (2) (22:38):
Yeah.
And, and then just really kindof got me like thinking okay,
this was cute.
I, I immediately got thisalmost.
And then it was like fun to planout and what I can do.
And then it was like, yeah, thatwas for a blow job.
And I understood.
But then like you got a lot outof it.
It was very exciting for you.
Cause then you're like, I got ablow job coming.
(23:01):
Like I know I do.
casey (23:02):
And not just like a normal,
kari (2) (23:04):
yeah, exactly.
It's casual
casey (23:07):
encounter, but more of like this, This planned out, uh,
we get to really discuss whatare you going to wear?
How are you going to do yourhair?
What about your makeup?
Should we do accessories?
Where should it be in the house?
We call those add ons
kari (2) (23:21):
and we'll get to it.
casey (23:23):
So this was like our alpha of it, though.
This was our very base where wesat down and kind of discussed
all that.
And it was, it stemmed fromthat, that we started saying,
okay, well.
What if we turn this into
kari (4) (23:35):
like a legit menu, like a
casey (23:37):
legitimate menu that we could design out
kari (4) (23:39):
and
casey (23:40):
keep somewhere where I can look through it and go, you
know what?
I've been feeling pretty sexual.
Let me look through what theseoptions are and see if there's
anything on here that I'd belike, this would be fun.
kari (2) (23:50):
I'm not going to lie.
It's really hot.
All of a sudden getting a noteand
casey (23:54):
arousing really
kari (2) (23:55):
hot, getting a notification.
All of a sudden then I get.
85 to spend and it's from myhusband.
And I'm like, Oh, and I do thinkthat we have intentionally left
out like.
Like sex.
I don't feel like intercourse isfully in the
casey (24:10):
menu.
kari (2) (24:11):
It's, it's not
casey (24:12):
centered around things like, um, sensual massages, um,
around like oral sex around,like doing things like fantasies
that we wouldn't normally on ourday to day engage in.
kari (2) (24:28):
And, and it really allowed us to create more of
this like fantasy concept, Whatwould be the hottest situation
that you could imagine and canwe place that on the menu and it
became really fun for us?
You know and there there was atime a while back ago That he
purchased me something that I orI'm so sorry He sent me money
(24:51):
for something that I thenpurchased and used that for like
our date And then it was like,I'm wearing this because you
gave me money to wear this so Ican blow you later.
And I'm going to, and it waslike creating a date.
I don't really view it anydifferent as like, we're going
to on today, we're going to goon a hike and then we're going
(25:12):
to go to this restaurant andwe're going to go to this
bookstore.
I'm planning it.
Yes.
But I don't see any differencein that.
And planning a date out versusalso planning a Yeah.
Um, and this really allowed.
Kind of for that, honestly,because it took away from our
like normal sex behavior.
We still have sex aside from themenu.
(25:33):
It's not like the menu wascreated and now I'm only paid
for sex.
It wasn't something
casey (25:37):
that we implemented as a way to increase our sexual
activity.
It was something we created as afun way to just engage in unique
and creative ways.
Stuff that we wouldn't, again,we wouldn't, Normally think of
kari (2) (25:53):
or just on the day to day.
Like if he wants me to dress upthe school girl and blow them,
I'm not going to do that.
It's just not like a Tuesdayactivity for me.
That's like, Oh, Hey, this iswhat he requested.
I can't wait to fill thatrequest.
I'm going to get everything setup for it.
casey (26:10):
Yeah.
A lot of pre planning too.
kari (2) (26:12):
Yeah.
casey (26:12):
Ooh, I'm going to play in my makeup.
I'm going to play where I'mwearing.
I'm going to play where we'regoing to be,
kari (2) (26:15):
which again, And we just came up with the add ons
like recently, but add ons couldbe like, you know, come shot,
like on your face.
We, so yeah, some
casey (26:26):
examples of, of some of the add ons that we've done,
it's been like, okay, this isgoing to be filmed.
Yeah.
Films are some, yeah, this isgoing to be, you know, it's
additional again, like you said,how's the pop shot going to
work?
It could be a facial, it couldbe swallowing.
It could be
kari (3) (26:40):
swallowing is extra.
casey (26:42):
Always extra, but in doing, in doing that, like it's
it's having these options.
kari (26:48):
Yeah.
So
casey (26:48):
I get to sit down on my own time, especially if I am
feeling aroused and I'm like,and I'm sitting back and saying,
you know, I want to do somethingto carry, but what do I do?
Like what do I want to, what doI want to experience?
And on that level, it issomething where I'm like, this
is about me.
Yeah, this is something I wantfor myself.
And it's, it's again, it's, it'sthis fun transactional fantasy
(27:10):
that we get to play out.
kari (2) (27:13):
Look, I'm, I'm so here for it.
It, we started out with thembeing more geared towards Casey,
but recently, but recently Imade a purchase and I was like,
this is what I want.
And I was able to describe indetail, making it very, um,
selfish for me, because a lot oftimes, like in the bedroom, I
(27:36):
know I don't like just focus onme, I'm not a selfish person in
the bedroom, but going throughand having this menu option,
this is like, this is what Iwant to be done to me.
casey (27:45):
I think that's part of it.
I think that part of it is likeconsensual selfishness.
kari (27:50):
Yeah.
casey (27:50):
Because neither of us in the bedroom are selfish people.
We are very conscious of ourpartners.
We're very much in it for likethe experience for each other.
And a lot of that.
So this is almost a safe way ofsaying like my turn.
kari (28:03):
Yeah, this is
casey (28:04):
about me.
This particular event is aboutme
kari (2) (28:08):
and you do what I told you to do, what I paid you to
do, but it's just, it's justfun, you know, and that really
has a lot to do with what we'retrying to bring within this
podcast.
Anyways, you don't have to dowhat we're telling you to do,
but we're just giving you.
Something to think aboutsomething to try out, try the
menu out, write out threethings.
(28:29):
And this is something that youcan do with your partner is just
say, Hey, I want us to sit onand write these things out or go
to dinner and write these thingsout.
The, these three things out,come up with something that you
want done to yourself.
Make it about you and then y'allcan share notes because at the
same time, like you might findout something about your partner
(28:51):
that are a want that they hadthat you didn't even really know
that they had, but this gavethem an opportunity to share it.
casey (29:00):
Well said.
Well said.
No, this menu has been a reallycool thing to have in our
relationship over the lastnumber of years.
kari (2) (29:06):
Can I share really inappropriate time that we use
the menu?
casey (29:10):
Fuck yeah.
Isn't that kind of the purposeof one of the purposes of this
podcast is to share our personalstories so people can feel like
more comfortable with doing itthemselves.
I'm going to get deep.
So,
kari (2) (29:23):
uh, when we first established said menu, um, we
had also with consent of otherswere allowed to bring in others
into said, that
casey (29:35):
was the big purchase that was, that was, you went to, you
know, Main event and had 10, 000tickets to spend it kind of
purchase.
Yeah, this was a big one.
That's a big purchase.
kari (2) (29:45):
And, and you did it though.
casey (29:47):
I did.
I took my time
kari (2) (29:49):
though.
casey (29:50):
I took my time.
And let's reiterate that thiswas consenting of all parties.
Insanely consenting
kari (2) (29:57):
that we, on the other end, that's created menu a
little bit.
We're very excited for thispurchase.
It was just, we knew that it wasgoing to be a bigger purchase.
casey (30:10):
Yes.
And so one of the add ons wasbring somebody in and it was
typically geared towards thatsame kind of like oral purchase.
Right.
So you can do this and we'llmake it happen.
And that's exactly whathappened.
kari (2) (30:23):
Yes.
And
casey (30:24):
it was a great experience.
It
kari (2) (30:25):
was.
And me and said person opted togo on like, not, I wouldn't say
a shopping spree.
That would be like.
It's like too much but we didget to go to a place in a very
fun city to pick out a bunch oflittle stuff and and then you
(30:46):
paid for it and then we paid forit but it was fun that's the
thing is like You can't be in arelationship with someone for as
long as we've been in arelationship together and not
find ways to just have some damnfun, not taking life so serious.
(31:09):
Did I ever think that I wasgoing to have my husband pay me
to blow him?
No, but is it fun?
Yes.
kari (31:17):
Did it
kari (2) (31:18):
buy me the swimsuit I wanted?
Yes, it
casey (31:21):
did.
See now, I think another thingto understand here also is that
we both have streams of income.
kari (2) (31:27):
Oh yeah.
casey (31:28):
So that also I feel like does come into play a little bit
with this is that it is like,it's not something like you
couldn't get these things unlesssomeone gave you money for it.
No, it's not.
kari (4) (31:38):
No, I get
casey (31:40):
my own
kari (4) (31:41):
shit, but it's fun or fun whenever it
casey (31:47):
says here and return, we're going to do this.
So this, this menu has been aton of fun.
Do you remember any of the, uh,other things are on there?
Cause we've been heavily focusedon the oral side.
kari (2) (31:57):
Yeah.
I mean, you did bring up before,like we had the massages on
there.
Um, I have had, um, like metaking control in the bedroom.
casey (32:09):
So that's, that's part of the add ons that we talk about
is that you can actually choosethe power dynamic in that.
So say that we wanted to do oneand I'm like, you know what?
I want to be more submissive inthis.
I want you to take control andbe the, the assertion, the
asserter and the dirty talkerand just.
Tell me what to do.
So we, that's part of thatdynamic.
(32:31):
It's almost like scenenegotiation.
kari (2) (32:33):
Exactly.
It's like, thank you.
I was just about to say thatit's like paid for scene
negotiation.
You get to figure out the exactscenario that you want.
And the whole like menu conceptand being paid thing.
I honestly feel like that's justlike a side aspect to it that
can be fun.
But what it really has done forus is for case to tell me the
(32:56):
things that he really wants inthe bedroom and not that he
wasn't communicative before it.
I don't mean it like that, butearlier I said school, school
girl outfit, which that we don'tfucking do that shit.
We do like hardcore, likecosplay stuff.
Like we like, we like dive intocosplay stuff.
And so this gives thatopportunity.
(33:16):
I want you to be this character.
I want you to have this exactthing.
And it allows you to create thisfantasy that you've had.
And then I get to be the one tolike, fill that for you.
For sure.
And I've done the same thing.
Like I said, like us doing amenu for Casey from my request
is slightly newer.
(33:36):
Um, but there was a point whereI was like, well, why can I have
a menu?
And it wasn't that I couldn'thave a menu.
We just hadn't really sat downand been like, no, these are the
requests that I'm going to nowhave and understand that
everything that we do in thebedroom or in our relationship,
it's always an evolution ofsomething else.
kari (33:54):
time.
kari (2) (33:55):
We're always trying something more.
It's always like, okay, thismight start with Casey, but
technically it finished with me
casey (34:01):
and that's one of the cool things that we have about
our sex life though, is the factthat both of us are always
willing to be students.
And always learn new stuff.
And we were talking about thisthe other day is like, if we're
in the shower or something andfooling around, it's like nine
times out of 10 that I'm going,Oh, that's a new move.
(34:21):
That's a new one.
Do the weirdest shit.
And we'll be like, put that onein the bank.
Yeah.
Don't forget that.
kari (2) (34:28):
I do the weirdest shit.
I don't know.
There's
casey (34:31):
nothing weird about it.
I
kari (2) (34:33):
literally used my thumb the other day to rub the
under part.
of your shaft
casey (34:41):
inside
kari (2) (34:41):
of my mouth.
casey (34:42):
And you think that's weird?
kari (2) (34:44):
I've never done it before.
casey (34:45):
Just because you haven't done it doesn't make it weird.
kari (2) (34:49):
I like the word weird.
Thank you very much.
I, I.
Think it's properly placed.
I never would have thought.
And all of a sudden I'm like,Hey, his whole chapter's in my
mouth and I have my thumb here.
So I'm just going to rub thebottom part.
Wow.
And
casey (35:04):
we turn around and go that, that saved that for later.
kari (2) (35:07):
Yeah.
And he, well, You do that to mea lot.
You're like, save that.
And there are some moves that Ido that I'm like, I'm, I'm
sorry.
I don't know what that was.
I just try different things.
Your improvisation
casey (35:20):
skills are magnificent.
kari (2) (35:22):
Thank you.
casey (35:23):
Well appreciated.
kari (2) (35:25):
But again, like The menu can be whatever you want.
The menu can be laid out any wayyou want.
Just because we haven'tpersonally put intercourse into
our menus doesn't mean it can'tbe.
This could imagine that you're awoman that you really fantasize
about that uh, romance.
Like you want the candles lit.
You want the lights out.
(35:45):
You want the music playing.
You want the massage.
You want the sensual play.
Okay.
Why can't it be something funand set up to where I'm choosing
this and this is what I want.
And I am going to prepay you forthat said menu item.
You really get to just breakdown what it is that you want in
the bedroom
casey (36:05):
and not
kari (2) (36:06):
taking it so serious.
casey (36:07):
Yeah.
It allows that level ofentertainment to become
something just fun for you toengage in.
And it's not something that hasto be so, so stiff.
And it's not something that youhave to be like, I can't believe
that you haven't lit the candlesand done all the rose pedals on
that for me.
And so long.
Okay.
So let's make it happen.
(36:28):
If you have this available, thisis not something that everybody
just has in the back of theirmind.
These, these acts of service anda lot of that.
There are some people that dogreat.
It's awesome that you have that.
But whenever you look at peoplelike us who have, Two kids and
two careers and not a ton oftime to plan this stuff out.
And it's not forefront of themind.
kari (36:47):
This
casey (36:48):
is something entertaining and fun that can create okay,
well now I have a, I want to sayobligation, but it's almost
like, all right, we've initiatedthis and now I'm excited to
provide it.
kari (2) (37:02):
I mean, as the one that has.
Purchase a lot from the thing,the items that you have
purchased, right?
Like I have a lot and I rememberhim.
I'm like, Ooh, I got that fromthe time that he purchased this
off the menu.
It's a good
casey (37:16):
thing because it creates these cool memories with the
stuff that you do get.
That's
kari (2) (37:20):
what I'm saying.
It really does.
Because there, even last year,there was something that I got.
From our dual video at thelocation that we were at.
And, and I wear it and I'm like,Oh, it's such a cute, like
memory.
This was from the time that wedid that.
And it was really sweet and cuteand like fun.
And it just adds another layer.
So again, like we're not sayingthat you have to do this, but
(37:42):
the point of our show is tobring up different aspects or.
Ideas for you that maybe youwouldn't have thought of in the
past.
And this is in no way to soundinsulting or belittling anyone,
any type of sex worker orwhatever.
Right.
I don't know why I just
casey (38:00):
censored
kari (2) (38:01):
myself.
That was weird.
I didn't expect to do that.
That was a weird traumaresponse.
casey (38:07):
But it's so sensor online that it's starting to make its
way into our everyday.
kari (2) (38:10):
I don't like it.
I don't want to be censored.
No, but you know, there's peopleI've told about the menu and
I've had friends be like you, Iwould never do that.
Well then don't, it's not foryou.
It doesn't have to be for you.
We're not saying
casey (38:23):
this is something that like everyone needs to
implement.
We're saying this is somethingthat we've implemented that it's
just been a.
A great experience.
And if somebody is out therethat is listening and saying
like, I've been looking forsomething to kind of spice it up
a little bit or that we couldhave some fun with this is one
to try.
kari (2) (38:39):
Well, and I even had a client the other day when we
were talking about it and shewas like, well, what about it?
Not being like money, but itbeing other things.
And I'm like, make him do thefucking dishes.
Then it doesn't.
casey (38:51):
Money.
If you guys want to create atask list, then be like, cool.
You know, there, you can assigna point value system to it and
be like, every time one of thesetasks are done, it does X amount
of points and you can keep trackof it a lot.
Or it could be like one
kari (2) (39:05):
of the spinner wheels where it's like spin and then
it's like, okay, you landed onlaundry and then you spin the
other one and then you landed onanal.
And then if you do the dish orthe laundry, then we're doing
anal.
You know, it could be.
casey (39:18):
Anything you can, you can adapt it to your, your life.
I'm
kari (2) (39:25):
going to get a spin wheel.
Now
casey (39:26):
you seem to like the randomness of that.
kari (2) (39:29):
I do.
I do.
I like the randomness of it.
I kind of do.
You
casey (39:32):
don't know what the chore is.
You don't know what the choreis.
And you
kari (2) (39:34):
don't know what the act is understanding that all
things on there would have beenput on through pre, you know,
consent, right?
Like, Oh, we're not going to addsomething.
You're like, what the fuck?
Like I ain't doing that.
You're great.
But again, our, our, not ourwhole point, but the point of
this episode is like find waysto spice up your relationship,
find ways to do things that arethinking outside the box and
(39:57):
something that you wouldn'tnormally do.
Right.
I don't even, other than whatwe're talking about earlier, I
don't really necessarily knowlike what really concrete this
idea for us, but we've rolledwith it and it's become this
like whole part of ourrelationship.
Long time
casey (40:12):
evolution.
I feel like this started likeway back with blowjob Sundays.
And then probably evolved onsome level, shower sex and all
that stuff into being like, Youknow what?
You're gonna pay for it nexttime.
Okay.
All right.
kari (2) (40:27):
Fine.
casey (40:28):
Sure.
We can, we can arrangesomething, but it's, it's been
such a fun experience.
Like now, nowadays, like I keepthis menu in my back pocket.
I just kind of prepared.
And it's not something that's atthe forefront of my mind.
Like, Ooh, I'm saying you mustget my next paycheck.
So I can make sure to purchasefrom the menu.
It's more along the lines ofcool.
I've got a little bit of cash.
(40:51):
I'm gonna pull out this menubecause I think that's, to me,
that's a worthwhile purchase.
kari (2) (40:55):
And then, like I said, like the add ons to me were just
this like perfect creationwithin it because then it was
like blow job.
But then it was like, howspecific do you want it to be?
Which has also kind of allowedme to figure out things that you
want done to you that not thatyou haven't expressed in the
(41:15):
past, but if you purchase onethat it's a video with glasses
and my hair up with it.
dark eyeshadow and red lipstickon.
Well, now I know that'ssomething that you really like.
And I have in ended up likealtering a little bit like,
okay, Casey likes it when I dothe smokey eyes.
So like, I know we're going todate night tonight and he
(41:36):
purchased smokey eye withglasses.
I'm wearing smokey eye withglasses tonight.
And it was just like a fun wayto figure out different aspects
or things that you really likeor enjoy that I do
casey (41:47):
see.
We've had fun with it
kari (2) (41:52):
and we will continue to is growing every day.
Like I said, I just got a menu,you know, which I'm still
waiting on my purchase item.
We need to go into that.
We need to go into what if youpurchase it now you're in your,
now you're waiting on it becauseyou also have to say like life,
casey (42:12):
this isn't something where it's like, Hey, you're
doing this on Monday.
You're doing this this day.
It needs to be at a timewhenever it's like, all right, I
had this purchase.
I can kind of set it aside forthe moment and then we can be
like, all right, well, um, wehave some good time coming up.
Let's go ahead and do it
kari (2) (42:29):
this day.
There's absolutely nothing wrongwith planning these things out.
And sometimes there it's betterthat way, because if you're
needing to get dolled up for thepurchase that, um, that they
made, then utilize that time,find a time where y'all are
alone, or you're going to bealone, or you have time to like,
Feel sexy to do that.
(42:49):
Like don't purchase a item onthe menu when your woman's the
day one on her cycle and expectsomething that night.
Like it, it's not about, um, howquickly are you like cashing in
on that?
But again, about the experiencewhen you do
casey (43:08):
and the anticipation leading up to.
kari (2) (43:10):
Yeah, you should definitely speak on that.
Cause there have been times,right.
You purchased something and itwas like, Yeah.
And then you're like, okay,
casey (43:18):
that's fine.
This is something that I don'tgo into being like, all right, I
did this.
And now we're, we're, we'regetting this.
It's not so reward oriented.
It's, it's more anticipationoriented, especially whenever
you have these add ons whereyou're like, okay, um, I would
like to do this act.
I would like you to be in asubmissive set for this.
I would like you to be dressedin such a way.
(43:41):
I would like for there to beplenty of dirty talk.
So you can have all thesesubsets and again, it becomes
the anticipation about like,cool.
Wow, I, I'm picturing thisfantasy in my head that I've
just created that we're going toenact.
So it's a lot of fun.
Good.
I mean, I'd love the menu.
If you haven't tried one here,you have any questions about
(44:01):
that?
kari (2) (44:02):
Should we like share a menu?
Would that be something thatyou'd be comfortable with doing?
casey (44:05):
I think that if enough people wanted access to it and
they said, you know, vocalizethat, then yeah, I'd be happy to
share it.
kari (4) (44:12):
Okay.
casey (44:12):
Yeah.
Let us know.
kari (4) (44:13):
Yeah.
casey (44:13):
Um, anything else?
What else do we have coming up?
We
kari (2) (44:18):
have so much coming up, but we were so late in the
show right now that I, I don'tthink it's time to bring it all
up, but understand that we'vebeen gone for the last four
months, but we haven't just beenlike sitting around with thumbs
up or, but you know, we, we'vebeen plotting.
And planning and scheming,scheming and, and refiguring.
And, um, we're going to bebringing all in and not a
(44:40):
different version of us, but,um, a way to make our show more
accessible or accessible toeverybody.
casey (44:47):
So for another episode of insert title here, I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
kari (2) (44:53):
and I'm Carrie.
casey (44:54):
I'll see you guys next time.
This episode has been a long time coming.
kari (2) (00:03):
We haven't recorded in a minute.
It's fine.
casey (00:06):
It's fine.
kari (2) (00:07):
Four months.
It's four months without anepisode.
We've been
casey (00:12):
doing episodes weekly for the past two years.
kari (2) (00:15):
Can I say how proud I am for the fact that we've done
them weekly because now thatwe're like getting more into the
podcasting world, people arelike, y'all did that shit
weekly.
I'm like, yes, every.
Single week.
casey (00:27):
Well, people that we've talked to have been like, Oh
yeah, we sat down and werecorded an entire season's
worth of content over a weekend.
kari (2) (00:33):
Yeah.
I don't want to do that.
casey (00:34):
And no, we like the, I like not the, I want to say
impulsivity, but I definitelywant to say like
kari (2) (00:40):
current.
casey (00:40):
Yeah.
How current it makes the, thequestions that we're answering
and the topics that we cover.
kari (2) (00:45):
Yeah.
Because a lot of times we sitdown.
So if you're unaware, we recorda lot of our episodes on
Tuesdays that are then releasedon Fridays.
Yeah.
From one Friday to the nextTuesday with the world we're in,
shit changes, a lot changes, newinformation is
casey (01:00):
published, things change, people change, questions arise.
And we want to try to stay up todate with a lot of that.
So we do, we've made theconscious decision to do our
episodes weekly.
And now it's been a minute.
kari (2) (01:11):
But why did we stop?
Stop, what happened in our life?
casey (01:15):
We had to move.
I don't, I didn't, I say had to,and I mean that genuinely
kari (2) (01:19):
aggressively had to quickly, not chose
casey (01:22):
to move, had to move.
kari (2) (01:23):
So we had been in a place that we had lived in for
six years and in April, we got anotice that we had 60 days to
vacate.
Um, they were looking to sell,which we understand when you
rent, you understand that at anypoint your home could go up for
sale.
We understood that.
It was just.
I, I guess still an expecting,of course, it's always
casey (01:45):
a surprise.
kari (2) (01:46):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially because every year weget that like new notice and
it's like one more year andwe're like, check the box.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Thanks.
casey (01:55):
Next.
So receiving that email thatsays we have decided not to
renew your lease.
My mind immediately went tolike, what did we do wrong?
kari (2) (02:02):
Yeah.
You went, well, no, you did, butyou went to Mr.
Fix it.
Which is fine.
Like everyone in theirrelationship needs a Mr.
Fix it.
And I went to like, no, I needto process this emotionally and
aggressively.
Mine
casey (02:17):
was straight for.
I'm finding us a place liketoday
kari (2) (02:21):
was at conflict resolution.
That is what you went to, youknow?
Um, but yes, it, it did put usin a pause and in the show,
right.
We had to pack up.
Um, but that also gave us a timeto reflect on our name.
casey (02:38):
Yes.
kari (2) (02:38):
Right.
Like
casey (02:39):
on where we stand with the CW Casey brand.
kari (2) (02:43):
Yeah.
And that maybe it's a
casey (02:45):
C brand.
Yeah.
The
kari (2) (02:46):
come with Casey
casey (02:47):
insert, it tends to be and how,
kari (2) (02:49):
how we got, you know, some of
casey (02:51):
the public reaction to it, which I want to, can I, can
I say something on the kind oflike mini rant,
kari (2) (02:57):
this is our platform to rant
casey (02:58):
like two minutes on a two minutes,
kari (2) (03:00):
maybe a minute.
casey (03:02):
Um, I ran into an old friend the other day.
Uh, who was singing praises for,for the show.
He was like, Oh man, I listenedto the show.
I think it's great what y'allare doing.
People need this education, thissex positivity, all this in the
world.
But then he also let slip thatmost of the people he's talked
to that these are people we'veknown from years and years ago
(03:22):
are like on some level are likemaking fun of it or trash
talking or just offended oroffended
kari (2) (03:28):
by calm.
Why?
When did calm become offensive?
casey (03:31):
And so my thought process that was like.
morbid, but I remember hearingthis quote a while back where I
was like, that resonates withme.
And this person had essentiallysaid to all of these haters, um,
If you were to die today, mylife would no, no different.
And so yes, that's, that's law.
(03:52):
On the heavy side, it's a bitmorbid, but No, but, but the
kari (2) (03:54):
truth in it, it's because you have no effect on
what we do.
It doesn't.
And us going through andrebranding and altering our
title really doesn't haveanything to do with the people
that choose to be offended byit.
casey (04:09):
No.
It has everything to do with thecensorship we experience online.
Yeah.
I
kari (2) (04:13):
mean, we had our first.
Instagram page that was deletedor reported and we lost
everything.
We had such a following, likeour page was growing.
And the thing is, is our pageisn't growing to our own
satisfaction.
We were helping people.
And then we woke up one day.
Gone.
All of it.
We've already, I mean, we've
casey (04:32):
talked about that.
We have.
kari (2) (04:34):
And so we decided at this time that we knew we had to
slow down.
We weren't going to be able torecord on the level that we
wanted to or needed to.
Why not utilize this time for alittle bit of rebranding?
A little bit of going back tothe drawing board and, and
trying to figure out how tounfortunately adhere to said
(04:56):
criticisms, but also standards
casey (04:58):
and guidelines, community
kari (2) (05:00):
standards and guidelines.
But how can we grow from this?
How can we become better insteadof being bitter?
I'd rather be better thanbitter.
casey (05:07):
Ultimately, the goal is to reach as many people as
possible.
And if we, and if we at thisstage.
I have to adhere to some rules.
Then you know what?
So then
kari (2) (05:16):
fine.
We will come in peace.
Oh, I mean, no, well,
casey (05:22):
that sounded so fake,
kari (2) (05:24):
didn't even mean that
casey (05:25):
it
kari (2) (05:29):
wasn't though.
No, we, we will, uh, take comeout of our title and we are, we
are rebranding, which actuallyintroduced us to some really bad
ass opportunities and peoplethat we actually want to discuss
right now,
casey (05:44):
go online as soon as you can and go look up Madison from
Dallas.
Madison is helping us currentlywith our rebranding.
She just did our photographysessions.
Oh
kari (2) (05:53):
my God.
Our rebranding shoot was one ofthe funnest shoots
casey (05:56):
we've had in a while.
We were able to collaborate withour good friends at nickel city
in south Fort worth to give usaccess to the bar so we can do
someone.
I don't want to divulge any toomany stories.
I don't
kari (2) (06:07):
want to say who helped us do that either, because
apparently they just want tohelp us.
And I love that for us.
So we have some people at nickelcity that we've, you know, grown
to love and they love us andthey allowed us into their
space.
And, and then, uh, Madison didsuch a.
Amazing, like detailed job.
What type of shoot do you want?
(06:28):
So I took my ass to Pinterestand I was like, bold imagery,
like sexy coupling, likewhatever I could do to, to
really show the brand that wewant to be.
And I, yeah.
And I send her this uh, what doyou call them?
Mood board, a mood board.
And, and she literally was ableto take every single aspect of
that shoot and say, or my moodboard, I'm sorry.
(06:50):
And say This is where we'regoing to go.
This is how we're going toshoot.
This is what we're going to do.
I'm looking at what you sent me.
I am, I am taking that to heartand I'm going to help you
recreate that.
And I know that we haven't seenthe images yet, but oh my God.
I
casey (07:06):
did magnificent.
Even the test step that I saw,like through her camera,
kari (2) (07:10):
I was trying to edit.
There was a moment that she wentto the bathroom and I'm like,
Lord, I just wanna turn it on.
Look at a few.
I'm not gonna because it's, it'snot like proper etiquette and I
get that.
No, not at all.
But it's not, and I wouldn't,and I didn't, but I, I did want
(07:30):
to.
kari (07:31):
Yeah.
kari (2) (07:31):
Um, but not only through this like rebranding
opportunity to allow us to meetMadison, and I'm so excited to
work with her, but it alsobrought us to an opportunity
that we had to work with alocal, um, Bo, or not Bora, I'm
so sorry.
Uh, bra.
Like bra, like bra, bra, like
casey (07:50):
go ahead.
This is my favorite part when
kari (2) (07:52):
I describe,
casey (07:53):
no, it's not, it's not a hate.
It's curiosity.
Cause I want to see where you gowith
kari (2) (07:57):
it.
This is a lady that owns aboutique off of Magnolia in
South Fort Worth and she doesbras and pantaloons.
You're just gonna let me keeprolling with this
casey (08:10):
and her name is
kari (2) (08:11):
and her name is grace.
Oh
casey (08:12):
my god You got it.
kari (2) (08:14):
I'm terrible with names.
So thank you.
I'm proud of myself and hercompany is is is wildflower
intimates I'm
casey (08:23):
proud of you That's my good girl
kari (2) (08:26):
Babe, don't i'm blushing Wildflower wildflower
intimates.
So yeah, so, uh, she owns aboutique off of magnolia and Um,
she focuses a lot on like brapositivity whole
casey (08:39):
body positivity.
kari (2) (08:40):
I mean, yes, but
casey (08:41):
inclusive.
kari (2) (08:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
Like you need to go check outthe shop.
But I chose that wordspecifically because when, when
you, and like take a back seatto this, when you grow up as a
woman and you get your, Likebras and like size and you don't
know what you are.
And you go to one place and theytell you you're a 36 B and you
go to another place and theytell you you're a 32 triple D.
(09:03):
And then you're like, you'revery confused.
You don't know what to get.
And I've been measured.
I've walked in.
And unfortunately, yes, mymeasurement was a Victoria's
Secret.
But most women can relate tothat.
I was never sized up until thatpoint.
Anything else was just goinginto a fitting room.
And I remember going in andgetting sized.
And I think she gave me like, itwas like a 36 D and they're also
(09:31):
like, bras fucking suck.
Right?
Like if you know me, you, you'veseen me, I don't fucking wear
bras because they're souncomfortable.
And we never know what to get.
And so I walked in, we talked toher for a while.
We'll go into this a whole otherepisode, but I went in and I
literally, I put my arms up inlike a T and I was ready, like,
(09:54):
all right, size me up.
And she didn't fucking touch meat once.
She just, I was going to
casey (09:59):
say the, the, probably the, the most impressive thing
about grace in that moment wasthat she took a look at you and
sized you almost.
Perfectly,
kari (2) (10:08):
it was, I mean, in all honesty, it was perfect.
Like she didn't necessarilyalter.
Okay.
So you might know this becauseyou're more like familiar, but
say like a 34 D double D I'msorry.
34 double D is the same as likea 36 D.
Right.
So it just changes like the, youknow, whatever this is called.
(10:30):
I'm pointing to it.
Casey, tell, tell the audiencewhat I mean.
They can't see, they don't know.
They can't see me though.
Whatever this thing is, no, yourwaist, like your, what your.
God, you're making me sound likean idiot.
Anyway, I'm not doing anything,but anyways, it was just, yes,
(10:52):
we went in.
It was immediate.
This is what you are.
Tried this on.
And again, sizes could rangeagain from like a 34, double D
to a 36 D.
Those are like pretty muchinterchangeable.
Um, But she brought out this braand it would never be something
that I would choose for mebecause also when we're growing
up, we're taught to, uh, buy abra that makes you feel sexy or
(11:17):
buy a bra for, um, beingathletic or buy a bra for it's
never a bra for every occasion.
Kind of right.
And so this one I like put onand I was like, not only do I
feel sexy in this bra, but Ihave never felt so much support
in like my shoulders in like thewidth area in even like her,
(11:41):
she'd be like, and I love it.
Cause she was like, may I adjustyou?
Right.
So every time that she was goingin to adjust, she was like
asking permission.
You
casey (11:48):
know how big we are in consent.
Yeah.
kari (2) (11:49):
Consent is like huge.
It kind of turned me on.
I was like, God, you guys canconsent so well.
Um, but she was like, let meadjust to you.
And she like pulls your, yourtit up and out in the proper
area.
And like, I was just like.
casey (12:02):
She had a name for it too.
kari (2) (12:03):
She did.
I don't want to butcher it.
Because we're also going to talkto her about it on the show
later on.
And so we want her to say it,but for her to even be like,
this is how you need to placeyour boobs.
This is how you need to wear it.
This is what size to put it onor like how to adjust it to your
shoulders.
It was just not something thatwe were taught growing up as
(12:25):
women.
And.
I just feel like I've been liedto my entire life.
I'm 36 years old and I justfound out that I'm a 34 Gigi.
kari (4) (12:37):
The fact I'm a G G, you know, the
casey (12:43):
fact that we called my grandmother Gigi, just that was
an odd hit
kari (2) (12:49):
it, you know, and I'm really going to roll with that
from here on out.
casey (12:53):
Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, that's going to be a
kari (2) (12:55):
thing.
Like these are my Gigi's.
So anyways, we had an
casey (12:59):
opportunity with her, like she did amazing with the
fitting, uh, and spoiler alert.
We are planning on having her onthe show here in the near
future, so be on the lookout forthat.
But we're able to do get fromthat whole meeting is that we
have a plan.
kari (2) (13:14):
Well, we have a place.
casey (13:16):
Yeah, we now have a place.
So if you've followed along withus for any period of time, you
know, that one of the biggestthings we love to talk about and
that we employ into our ownkinky lives is Shabari, the
Japanese art of rope bondage.
It's something that's becomevery close to me.
It's something that's Kerry hasbeen so.
Graceful to, to learn how tobecome a bottom with.
(13:36):
And, uh, we've been teachingthese, these introductory
classes over the past littlebit.
kari (2) (13:42):
And we've had a lot of, uh, attendees and a lot of
like inquiries.
So
casey (13:49):
one of my favorite things about these classes that we've
been teaching is the amount ofdiversity that we've seen.
You want to talk about, you knowthat I love DNI, uh, and
whenever we're able to havethese attendees that are coming
from all walks of life, allrelationship styles, like there,
it's, It's amazing to see theamount of people who are just
like, yes, let's, let's attendand see what we can get out of
(14:12):
it.
So it's become this really coolAvenue for us to not only meet
people, but to really see moreof the relationship diversity
that exists in the world.
And so now we are happy toannounce this cool little
introductory partnership withwildflower intimates to do an
intro to Shabari class, aShabari one on one where we talk
about.
(14:32):
Like the sensuality behind it,the purpose behind it.
And then we learn how to do acouple of basic ties and just
kind of hang out and have funwith it.
kari (2) (14:39):
Yeah, it's just cool to bring events like this to all
areas.
And it's open for all people.
And that's one of the biggestthings that we preach on.
Anything that we do, anythingthat we're advertising.
Understand that this is like.
everyone.
Um, and this is just the nextphase and, and what it is that
we're doing, you know,obviously, you know, if you've
(15:01):
been listening, um, all along,it really started with the
podcast, um, and, and then Caseywent into his even furthering,
like counseling degree.
Um, Uh, I'm focusing on mine.
We are working with Shabari.
We're working with other likeminded people.
This is just all to get you tounderstand and, and and even for
us to really reach out and graspthat, like, we, we are really
(15:23):
here for everybody.
Um, and.
I really look forward to notjust this one, but the next one
that we have going on.
Like we, we really have a lot ofthings spinning.
And then this time that we hadapart from the show had allowed
us to just put all thesedifferent thoughts into motion
and we're bringing those to youthis year.
casey (15:44):
Yeah.
So with, with the wildflowerintimates class that we're
doing, those are going to bestarting in November.
Um, and we're going to see howthe first one goes.
But however, if you're lookingto get in a little bit sooner
and you're wanting to learnabout Shibari and about how it
can be used in your own kinkylife, then we're also happy to
announce that on October 15th,which is a Tuesday, we're going
(16:06):
to be teaching a Shibari one onone class at Shibari studios
here in North Fort Worth.
If you have not heard of theseguys, check them out.
If you follow a follower, don'twhatever Shibari supply
official.
You'll get a good look at them.
However, if you get ahead overto their, uh, their studio page,
uh, Shibari Studios, then you'regoing to see a lot more about
(16:27):
their location.
This place is, it's huge.
It's huge.
There's like 20 plus hardpoints.
Yeah.
There is a full stage.
There's lighting.
There's, well, yeah, there's a,there's a stage.
There's
kari (2) (16:38):
the rigs that are set up in all different areas.
There's an upstairs area thatallows for like a seating room
ever.
Like if you're wanting to dolike observe, there's also a
performance area in theupstairs, they have a separate
room.
That's the separate room isgoing to be for a few different
things.
Say that like you're in theseparate room or I'm so sorry,
in the main room.
And we're doing like a veryfocused,
kari (17:00):
it's a social room.
kari (2) (17:01):
Yeah.
Then there's going to be asocial room, but he was also
setting it up as like, even likea quiet space, like if you need
a place to go, if you're maybesensory overload, um, so it's
really nice to have a.
Platform for all differentvariations of Shabar that you
want to be able to do.
casey (17:18):
The way that our good friend Riker has put it is that
it's a safe, inclusive space todevelop your rope skills.
So whether you're a seasonedveteran, who's practicing some
complex harnesses and want toget some crazy, crazy suspension
stuff going on, or you've nevertouched a rope in your life and
you're just looking how to dosome basics, this is a great
(17:39):
place to go.
They offer various levels ofmembership.
Um, and which you can, you know,if you can go all in and get
their subscription, which allowsyou to get access to every
single class, uh, without extracost or you can do their basic
membership, which I think it'slike 25 and then that gives you
access to buy tickets to theirevents.
Now, what, the reason there's amemberships and what you may
(18:01):
know this, you may not.
But in the world of ropes and inthe, in the world of a lot of
these areas, one of the biggestthings that they preach is all
about consent and all aboutsafety.
So naturally these kinds ofthings come with a vetting
process.
So whenever you sign up for amembership, uh, you give them
your information.
They go, they put you through apretty basic, uh, background
check.
(18:21):
to just kind of feel through tosee if you're appropriate or if
you have any sort of history.
They also have a very, uh,connected network with other
areas, with other places in thearea that are dungeons and
things like that, that can helpto find out if any people that
are applying for membership haveany, have had any like consent
violations or anything likethat.
So this place has been myfavorite to see a really good
(18:42):
Practice put in for safety andensuring that its members and
attendees are in a safe,comfortable, trusting space.
So make sure that you take alook at our class.
That's going to be coming upthere.
That one's going to be onOctober 15th, October 15th.
Yes.
And so in fact, if you go totheir website, you can put in
our coupon code.
(19:03):
It's I believe it's C W K C 1024 1 0 2 4.
And it'll get you, uh, I mean, Ithink it's like 25 bucks off.
So you basically get either abasic membership for free or you
can put it towards yoursubscription and get a discount
there.
Yeah.
So again, head over to, you cango to Shabari studios.
com and you can take a look attheir memberships, put in our
(19:25):
discount code CWKC.
I think it's 1024.
It was 10, 10, 24.
Uh, that's good through October31st.
So keep an eye out for those twoclasses.
We are super fucking excited toget those going.
kari (2) (19:39):
We're excited for all of our shit.
I can't wait for the rebranding.
I can't wait for the connectionsthat we're making, but you know
what?
Let's get the damn topic becausethis is a topic that I've wanted
to talk about in the past and wedidn't fully have it written out
and.
We also have to like, make surethat we like present it
appropriately.
But this is something that we'vedone for how many years now?
(20:04):
Do maybe at least
casey (20:06):
longer than that,
kari (2) (20:07):
really?
Yes.
Okay.
casey (20:09):
Yes.
So the first question we wouldwant to answer before we like
really dive into it is thequestion of should sex Be
transactional or sexual acts betransactional.
Carrie, you want to, you want totackle that?
I've
kari (2) (20:26):
heard a lot of nose,
casey (20:27):
right?
kari (2) (20:27):
I've heard a lot of nose.
You hear
casey (20:29):
it all the time.
And let's be clear.
It can be detrimental in arelationship when sex becomes
transactional.
If you start doing things like.
Giving ultimatums.
Like I'm not going to sleep withyou unless you are doing the
dishes.
Yeah.
You better do the dishes oryou're not getting sex.
You better do this or I'm goingto withhold sex where this is
(20:50):
happening.
So I'm therefore going to useweaponize.
kari (3) (20:52):
Yeah,
casey (20:53):
sex as a way to get you to behave.
And that creates this powerdynamic, this power struggle
within a relationship that canbe grossly detrimental.
However, however, however, ifyou are in a secure
relationship.
That is experiencing lots oftrust.
That's where you haven't createdthat weaponization, safe place,
(21:16):
nonjudgmental are three Cs,right?
Communication, consent,comfortability.
Then you can start totransactionalize sex in a way
that could be fun because itfulfills a fantasy and it opens
you up to new ways to play.
So what we did in ourrelationship a number of years
back was we created The menu,
kari (3) (21:37):
the menu.
casey (21:38):
And this has been such a fun thing for us because it does
allow us to have this almosttransactional fantasy, uh, while
exploring various
kari (2) (21:48):
explaining the opportunities.
Yeah.
So it kind of started.
I mean, I guess you're right atthis was a few years back, but,
um, I think I had like joked onetime about giving you like one
of the best blow jobs ever, butI like wanted a fucking dress on
Amazon, you know?
And so I was simple.
It was so, yeah.
(22:09):
And, and I was like, okay, thatdress was like 50 bucks.
So fine.
I will blow you in any way thatyou want, however you want it to
be done.
But I want you to buy me thisdress.
Or Venmo me this amount and youfucking immediately did it.
It was like,
casey (22:27):
it was immediate.
Like it was very much.
I got like
kari (2) (22:29):
the little ping and it was like Casey Venmo to you with
a little like
casey (22:36):
emojis emoji.
Yeah.
kari (2) (22:38):
Yeah.
And, and then just really kindof got me like thinking okay,
this was cute.
I, I immediately got thisalmost.
And then it was like fun to planout and what I can do.
And then it was like, yeah, thatwas for a blow job.
And I understood.
But then like you got a lot outof it.
It was very exciting for you.
Cause then you're like, I got ablow job coming.
(23:01):
Like I know I do.
casey (23:02):
And not just like a normal,
kari (2) (23:04):
yeah, exactly.
It's casual
casey (23:07):
encounter, but more of like this, This planned out, uh,
we get to really discuss whatare you going to wear?
How are you going to do yourhair?
What about your makeup?
Should we do accessories?
Where should it be in the house?
We call those add ons
kari (2) (23:21):
and we'll get to it.
casey (23:23):
So this was like our alpha of it, though.
This was our very base where wesat down and kind of discussed
all that.
And it was, it stemmed fromthat, that we started saying,
okay, well.
What if we turn this into
kari (4) (23:35):
like a legit menu, like a
casey (23:37):
legitimate menu that we could design out
kari (4) (23:39):
and
casey (23:40):
keep somewhere where I can look through it and go, you
know what?
I've been feeling pretty sexual.
Let me look through what theseoptions are and see if there's
anything on here that I'd belike, this would be fun.
kari (2) (23:50):
I'm not going to lie.
It's really hot.
All of a sudden getting a noteand
casey (23:54):
arousing really
kari (2) (23:55):
hot, getting a notification.
All of a sudden then I get.
85 to spend and it's from myhusband.
And I'm like, Oh, and I do thinkthat we have intentionally left
out like.
Like sex.
I don't feel like intercourse isfully in the
casey (24:10):
menu.
kari (2) (24:11):
It's, it's not
casey (24:12):
centered around things like, um, sensual massages, um,
around like oral sex around,like doing things like fantasies
that we wouldn't normally on ourday to day engage in.
kari (2) (24:28):
And, and it really allowed us to create more of
this like fantasy concept, Whatwould be the hottest situation
that you could imagine and canwe place that on the menu and it
became really fun for us?
You know and there there was atime a while back ago That he
purchased me something that I orI'm so sorry He sent me money
(24:51):
for something that I thenpurchased and used that for like
our date And then it was like,I'm wearing this because you
gave me money to wear this so Ican blow you later.
And I'm going to, and it waslike creating a date.
I don't really view it anydifferent as like, we're going
to on today, we're going to goon a hike and then we're going
(25:12):
to go to this restaurant andwe're going to go to this
bookstore.
I'm planning it.
Yes.
But I don't see any differencein that.
And planning a date out versusalso planning a Yeah.
Um, and this really allowed.
Kind of for that, honestly,because it took away from our
like normal sex behavior.
We still have sex aside from themenu.
(25:33):
It's not like the menu wascreated and now I'm only paid
for sex.
It wasn't something
casey (25:37):
that we implemented as a way to increase our sexual
activity.
It was something we created as afun way to just engage in unique
and creative ways.
Stuff that we wouldn't, again,we wouldn't, Normally think of
kari (2) (25:53):
or just on the day to day.
Like if he wants me to dress upthe school girl and blow them,
I'm not going to do that.
It's just not like a Tuesdayactivity for me.
That's like, Oh, Hey, this iswhat he requested.
I can't wait to fill thatrequest.
I'm going to get everything setup for it.
casey (26:10):
Yeah.
A lot of pre planning too.
kari (2) (26:12):
Yeah.
casey (26:12):
Ooh, I'm going to play in my makeup.
I'm going to play where I'mwearing.
I'm going to play where we'regoing to be,
kari (2) (26:15):
which again, And we just came up with the add ons
like recently, but add ons couldbe like, you know, come shot,
like on your face.
We, so yeah, some
casey (26:26):
examples of, of some of the add ons that we've done,
it's been like, okay, this isgoing to be filmed.
Yeah.
Films are some, yeah, this isgoing to be, you know, it's
additional again, like you said,how's the pop shot going to
work?
It could be a facial, it couldbe swallowing.
It could be
kari (3) (26:40):
swallowing is extra.
casey (26:42):
Always extra, but in doing, in doing that, like it's
it's having these options.
kari (26:48):
Yeah.
So
casey (26:48):
I get to sit down on my own time, especially if I am
feeling aroused and I'm like,and I'm sitting back and saying,
you know, I want to do somethingto carry, but what do I do?
Like what do I want to, what doI want to experience?
And on that level, it issomething where I'm like, this
is about me.
Yeah, this is something I wantfor myself.
And it's, it's again, it's, it'sthis fun transactional fantasy
(27:10):
that we get to play out.
kari (2) (27:13):
Look, I'm, I'm so here for it.
It, we started out with thembeing more geared towards Casey,
but recently, but recently Imade a purchase and I was like,
this is what I want.
And I was able to describe indetail, making it very, um,
selfish for me, because a lot oftimes, like in the bedroom, I
(27:36):
know I don't like just focus onme, I'm not a selfish person in
the bedroom, but going throughand having this menu option,
this is like, this is what Iwant to be done to me.
casey (27:45):
I think that's part of it.
I think that part of it is likeconsensual selfishness.
kari (27:50):
Yeah.
casey (27:50):
Because neither of us in the bedroom are selfish people.
We are very conscious of ourpartners.
We're very much in it for likethe experience for each other.
And a lot of that.
So this is almost a safe way ofsaying like my turn.
kari (28:03):
Yeah, this is
casey (28:04):
about me.
This particular event is aboutme
kari (2) (28:08):
and you do what I told you to do, what I paid you to
do, but it's just, it's justfun, you know, and that really
has a lot to do with what we'retrying to bring within this
podcast.
Anyways, you don't have to dowhat we're telling you to do,
but we're just giving you.
Something to think aboutsomething to try out, try the
menu out, write out threethings.
(28:29):
And this is something that youcan do with your partner is just
say, Hey, I want us to sit onand write these things out or go
to dinner and write these thingsout.
The, these three things out,come up with something that you
want done to yourself.
Make it about you and then y'allcan share notes because at the
same time, like you might findout something about your partner
(28:51):
that are a want that they hadthat you didn't even really know
that they had, but this gavethem an opportunity to share it.
casey (29:00):
Well said.
Well said.
No, this menu has been a reallycool thing to have in our
relationship over the lastnumber of years.
kari (2) (29:06):
Can I share really inappropriate time that we use
the menu?
casey (29:10):
Fuck yeah.
Isn't that kind of the purposeof one of the purposes of this
podcast is to share our personalstories so people can feel like
more comfortable with doing itthemselves.
I'm going to get deep.
So,
kari (2) (29:23):
uh, when we first established said menu, um, we
had also with consent of otherswere allowed to bring in others
into said, that
casey (29:35):
was the big purchase that was, that was, you went to, you
know, Main event and had 10, 000tickets to spend it kind of
purchase.
Yeah, this was a big one.
That's a big purchase.
kari (2) (29:45):
And, and you did it though.
casey (29:47):
I did.
I took my time
kari (2) (29:49):
though.
casey (29:50):
I took my time.
And let's reiterate that thiswas consenting of all parties.
Insanely consenting
kari (2) (29:57):
that we, on the other end, that's created menu a
little bit.
We're very excited for thispurchase.
It was just, we knew that it wasgoing to be a bigger purchase.
casey (30:10):
Yes.
And so one of the add ons wasbring somebody in and it was
typically geared towards thatsame kind of like oral purchase.
Right.
So you can do this and we'llmake it happen.
And that's exactly whathappened.
kari (2) (30:23):
Yes.
And
casey (30:24):
it was a great experience.
It
kari (2) (30:25):
was.
And me and said person opted togo on like, not, I wouldn't say
a shopping spree.
That would be like.
It's like too much but we didget to go to a place in a very
fun city to pick out a bunch oflittle stuff and and then you
(30:46):
paid for it and then we paid forit but it was fun that's the
thing is like You can't be in arelationship with someone for as
long as we've been in arelationship together and not
find ways to just have some damnfun, not taking life so serious.
(31:09):
Did I ever think that I wasgoing to have my husband pay me
to blow him?
No, but is it fun?
Yes.
kari (31:17):
Did it
kari (2) (31:18):
buy me the swimsuit I wanted?
Yes, it
casey (31:21):
did.
See now, I think another thingto understand here also is that
we both have streams of income.
kari (2) (31:27):
Oh yeah.
casey (31:28):
So that also I feel like does come into play a little bit
with this is that it is like,it's not something like you
couldn't get these things unlesssomeone gave you money for it.
No, it's not.
kari (4) (31:38):
No, I get
casey (31:40):
my own
kari (4) (31:41):
shit, but it's fun or fun whenever it
casey (31:47):
says here and return, we're going to do this.
So this, this menu has been aton of fun.
Do you remember any of the, uh,other things are on there?
Cause we've been heavily focusedon the oral side.
kari (2) (31:57):
Yeah.
I mean, you did bring up before,like we had the massages on
there.
Um, I have had, um, like metaking control in the bedroom.
casey (32:09):
So that's, that's part of the add ons that we talk about
is that you can actually choosethe power dynamic in that.
So say that we wanted to do oneand I'm like, you know what?
I want to be more submissive inthis.
I want you to take control andbe the, the assertion, the
asserter and the dirty talkerand just.
Tell me what to do.
So we, that's part of thatdynamic.
(32:31):
It's almost like scenenegotiation.
kari (2) (32:33):
Exactly.
It's like, thank you.
I was just about to say thatit's like paid for scene
negotiation.
You get to figure out the exactscenario that you want.
And the whole like menu conceptand being paid thing.
I honestly feel like that's justlike a side aspect to it that
can be fun.
But what it really has done forus is for case to tell me the
(32:56):
things that he really wants inthe bedroom and not that he
wasn't communicative before it.
I don't mean it like that, butearlier I said school, school
girl outfit, which that we don'tfucking do that shit.
We do like hardcore, likecosplay stuff.
Like we like, we like dive intocosplay stuff.
And so this gives thatopportunity.
(33:16):
I want you to be this character.
I want you to have this exactthing.
And it allows you to create thisfantasy that you've had.
And then I get to be the one tolike, fill that for you.
For sure.
And I've done the same thing.
Like I said, like us doing amenu for Casey from my request
is slightly newer.
(33:36):
Um, but there was a point whereI was like, well, why can I have
a menu?
And it wasn't that I couldn'thave a menu.
We just hadn't really sat downand been like, no, these are the
requests that I'm going to nowhave and understand that
everything that we do in thebedroom or in our relationship,
it's always an evolution ofsomething else.
kari (33:54):
time.
kari (2) (33:55):
We're always trying something more.
It's always like, okay, thismight start with Casey, but
technically it finished with me
casey (34:01):
and that's one of the cool things that we have about
our sex life though, is the factthat both of us are always
willing to be students.
And always learn new stuff.
And we were talking about thisthe other day is like, if we're
in the shower or something andfooling around, it's like nine
times out of 10 that I'm going,Oh, that's a new move.
(34:21):
That's a new one.
Do the weirdest shit.
And we'll be like, put that onein the bank.
Yeah.
Don't forget that.
kari (2) (34:28):
I do the weirdest shit.
I don't know.
There's
casey (34:31):
nothing weird about it.
I
kari (2) (34:33):
literally used my thumb the other day to rub the
under part.
of your shaft
casey (34:41):
inside
kari (2) (34:41):
of my mouth.
casey (34:42):
And you think that's weird?
kari (2) (34:44):
I've never done it before.
casey (34:45):
Just because you haven't done it doesn't make it weird.
kari (2) (34:49):
I like the word weird.
Thank you very much.
I, I.
Think it's properly placed.
I never would have thought.
And all of a sudden I'm like,Hey, his whole chapter's in my
mouth and I have my thumb here.
So I'm just going to rub thebottom part.
Wow.
And
casey (35:04):
we turn around and go that, that saved that for later.
kari (2) (35:07):
Yeah.
And he, well, You do that to mea lot.
You're like, save that.
And there are some moves that Ido that I'm like, I'm, I'm
sorry.
I don't know what that was.
I just try different things.
Your improvisation
casey (35:20):
skills are magnificent.
kari (2) (35:22):
Thank you.
casey (35:23):
Well appreciated.
kari (2) (35:25):
But again, like The menu can be whatever you want.
The menu can be laid out any wayyou want.
Just because we haven'tpersonally put intercourse into
our menus doesn't mean it can'tbe.
This could imagine that you're awoman that you really fantasize
about that uh, romance.
Like you want the candles lit.
You want the lights out.
(35:45):
You want the music playing.
You want the massage.
You want the sensual play.
Okay.
Why can't it be something funand set up to where I'm choosing
this and this is what I want.
And I am going to prepay you forthat said menu item.
You really get to just breakdown what it is that you want in
the bedroom
casey (36:05):
and not
kari (2) (36:06):
taking it so serious.
casey (36:07):
Yeah.
It allows that level ofentertainment to become
something just fun for you toengage in.
And it's not something that hasto be so, so stiff.
And it's not something that youhave to be like, I can't believe
that you haven't lit the candlesand done all the rose pedals on
that for me.
And so long.
Okay.
So let's make it happen.
(36:28):
If you have this available, thisis not something that everybody
just has in the back of theirmind.
These, these acts of service anda lot of that.
There are some people that dogreat.
It's awesome that you have that.
But whenever you look at peoplelike us who have, Two kids and
two careers and not a ton oftime to plan this stuff out.
And it's not forefront of themind.
kari (36:47):
This
casey (36:48):
is something entertaining and fun that can create okay,
well now I have a, I want to sayobligation, but it's almost
like, all right, we've initiatedthis and now I'm excited to
provide it.
kari (2) (37:02):
I mean, as the one that has.
Purchase a lot from the thing,the items that you have
purchased, right?
Like I have a lot and I rememberhim.
I'm like, Ooh, I got that fromthe time that he purchased this
off the menu.
It's a good
casey (37:16):
thing because it creates these cool memories with the
stuff that you do get.
That's
kari (2) (37:20):
what I'm saying.
It really does.
Because there, even last year,there was something that I got.
From our dual video at thelocation that we were at.
And, and I wear it and I'm like,Oh, it's such a cute, like
memory.
This was from the time that wedid that.
And it was really sweet and cuteand like fun.
And it just adds another layer.
So again, like we're not sayingthat you have to do this, but
(37:42):
the point of our show is tobring up different aspects or.
Ideas for you that maybe youwouldn't have thought of in the
past.
And this is in no way to soundinsulting or belittling anyone,
any type of sex worker orwhatever.
Right.
I don't know why I just
casey (38:00):
censored
kari (2) (38:01):
myself.
That was weird.
I didn't expect to do that.
That was a weird traumaresponse.
casey (38:07):
But it's so sensor online that it's starting to make its
way into our everyday.
kari (2) (38:10):
I don't like it.
I don't want to be censored.
No, but you know, there's peopleI've told about the menu and
I've had friends be like you, Iwould never do that.
Well then don't, it's not foryou.
It doesn't have to be for you.
We're not saying
casey (38:23):
this is something that like everyone needs to
implement.
We're saying this is somethingthat we've implemented that it's
just been a.
A great experience.
And if somebody is out therethat is listening and saying
like, I've been looking forsomething to kind of spice it up
a little bit or that we couldhave some fun with this is one
to try.
kari (2) (38:39):
Well, and I even had a client the other day when we
were talking about it and shewas like, well, what about it?
Not being like money, but itbeing other things.
And I'm like, make him do thefucking dishes.
Then it doesn't.
casey (38:51):
Money.
If you guys want to create atask list, then be like, cool.
You know, there, you can assigna point value system to it and
be like, every time one of thesetasks are done, it does X amount
of points and you can keep trackof it a lot.
Or it could be like one
kari (2) (39:05):
of the spinner wheels where it's like spin and then
it's like, okay, you landed onlaundry and then you spin the
other one and then you landed onanal.
And then if you do the dish orthe laundry, then we're doing
anal.
You know, it could be.
casey (39:18):
Anything you can, you can adapt it to your, your life.
I'm
kari (2) (39:25):
going to get a spin wheel.
Now
casey (39:26):
you seem to like the randomness of that.
kari (2) (39:29):
I do.
I do.
I like the randomness of it.
I kind of do.
You
casey (39:32):
don't know what the chore is.
You don't know what the choreis.
And you
kari (2) (39:34):
don't know what the act is understanding that all
things on there would have beenput on through pre, you know,
consent, right?
Like, Oh, we're not going to addsomething.
You're like, what the fuck?
Like I ain't doing that.
You're great.
But again, our, our, not ourwhole point, but the point of
this episode is like find waysto spice up your relationship,
find ways to do things that arethinking outside the box and
(39:57):
something that you wouldn'tnormally do.
Right.
I don't even, other than whatwe're talking about earlier, I
don't really necessarily knowlike what really concrete this
idea for us, but we've rolledwith it and it's become this
like whole part of ourrelationship.
Long time
casey (40:12):
evolution.
I feel like this started likeway back with blowjob Sundays.
And then probably evolved onsome level, shower sex and all
that stuff into being like, Youknow what?
You're gonna pay for it nexttime.
Okay.
All right.
kari (2) (40:27):
Fine.
casey (40:28):
Sure.
We can, we can arrangesomething, but it's, it's been
such a fun experience.
Like now, nowadays, like I keepthis menu in my back pocket.
I just kind of prepared.
And it's not something that's atthe forefront of my mind.
Like, Ooh, I'm saying you mustget my next paycheck.
So I can make sure to purchasefrom the menu.
It's more along the lines ofcool.
I've got a little bit of cash.
(40:51):
I'm gonna pull out this menubecause I think that's, to me,
that's a worthwhile purchase.
kari (2) (40:55):
And then, like I said, like the add ons to me were just
this like perfect creationwithin it because then it was
like blow job.
But then it was like, howspecific do you want it to be?
Which has also kind of allowedme to figure out things that you
want done to you that not thatyou haven't expressed in the
(41:15):
past, but if you purchase onethat it's a video with glasses
and my hair up with it.
dark eyeshadow and red lipstickon.
Well, now I know that'ssomething that you really like.
And I have in ended up likealtering a little bit like,
okay, Casey likes it when I dothe smokey eyes.
So like, I know we're going todate night tonight and he
(41:36):
purchased smokey eye withglasses.
I'm wearing smokey eye withglasses tonight.
And it was just like a fun wayto figure out different aspects
or things that you really likeor enjoy that I do
casey (41:47):
see.
We've had fun with it
kari (2) (41:52):
and we will continue to is growing every day.
Like I said, I just got a menu,you know, which I'm still
waiting on my purchase item.
We need to go into that.
We need to go into what if youpurchase it now you're in your,
now you're waiting on it becauseyou also have to say like life,
casey (42:12):
this isn't something where it's like, Hey, you're
doing this on Monday.
You're doing this this day.
It needs to be at a timewhenever it's like, all right, I
had this purchase.
I can kind of set it aside forthe moment and then we can be
like, all right, well, um, wehave some good time coming up.
Let's go ahead and do it
kari (2) (42:29):
this day.
There's absolutely nothing wrongwith planning these things out.
And sometimes there it's betterthat way, because if you're
needing to get dolled up for thepurchase that, um, that they
made, then utilize that time,find a time where y'all are
alone, or you're going to bealone, or you have time to like,
Feel sexy to do that.
(42:49):
Like don't purchase a item onthe menu when your woman's the
day one on her cycle and expectsomething that night.
Like it, it's not about, um, howquickly are you like cashing in
on that?
But again, about the experiencewhen you do
casey (43:08):
and the anticipation leading up to.
kari (2) (43:10):
Yeah, you should definitely speak on that.
Cause there have been times,right.
You purchased something and itwas like, Yeah.
And then you're like, okay,
casey (43:18):
that's fine.
This is something that I don'tgo into being like, all right, I
did this.
And now we're, we're, we'regetting this.
It's not so reward oriented.
It's, it's more anticipationoriented, especially whenever
you have these add ons whereyou're like, okay, um, I would
like to do this act.
I would like you to be in asubmissive set for this.
I would like you to be dressedin such a way.
(43:41):
I would like for there to beplenty of dirty talk.
So you can have all thesesubsets and again, it becomes
the anticipation about like,cool.
Wow, I, I'm picturing thisfantasy in my head that I've
just created that we're going toenact.
So it's a lot of fun.
Good.
I mean, I'd love the menu.
If you haven't tried one here,you have any questions about
(44:01):
that?
kari (2) (44:02):
Should we like share a menu?
Would that be something thatyou'd be comfortable with doing?
casey (44:05):
I think that if enough people wanted access to it and
they said, you know, vocalizethat, then yeah, I'd be happy to
share it.
kari (4) (44:12):
Okay.
casey (44:12):
Yeah.
Let us know.
kari (4) (44:13):
Yeah.
casey (44:13):
Um, anything else?
What else do we have coming up?
We
kari (2) (44:18):
have so much coming up, but we were so late in the
show right now that I, I don'tthink it's time to bring it all
up, but understand that we'vebeen gone for the last four
months, but we haven't just beenlike sitting around with thumbs
up or, but you know, we, we'vebeen plotting.
And planning and scheming,scheming and, and refiguring.
And, um, we're going to bebringing all in and not a
(44:40):
different version of us, but,um, a way to make our show more
accessible or accessible toeverybody.
casey (44:47):
So for another episode of insert title here, I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
kari (2) (44:53):
and I'm Carrie.
casey (44:54):
I'll see you guys next time.
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