May 3, 2024 • 43 mins
Welcome to Masturbation May!
Today we are talking about modern masturbation including the toy industry FINALLY diversifying in their toys for penis owners!
We are also inviting you to the most wonderful gothic themed burlesque show in existence, NIGHTSHADE BURLESUE! This event occurs every first Friday of the month at The Cicada in Fort Worth Texas
Mentioned
Nightshade Burlesque
The Cicada
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Casey (00:00):
Welcome to masturbation.
(00:02):
May.
Kari (00:04):
I have been looking forward to this month.
Truthfully, because there's alot to talk about.
We don't
Casey (00:10):
masturbate for 11 months out of the year, but once May
hits,
Kari (00:13):
it is on.
No, it's a five times a
Casey (00:16):
day.
Kari (00:17):
No, it's a great topic to discuss.
And I mean, obviously we do ourresearch.
We look at a lot of differentthings and I couldn't write
enough.
Or I couldn't not write enoughabout it.
I mean, the list, I don't knowhow to say that properly.
There was so much shit to talkabout.
I know
Casey (00:34):
I'm over here.
We're like, I know I could.
I could not.
I
Kari (00:37):
couldn't not.
I don't know,
Casey (00:40):
but I was always terrible with the double negatives.
Kari (00:42):
I'm you know, I'm really bad.
What's the one that you fuckinghate when everyone was like, I
couldn't be more excited.
What me?
Yeah.
That's the one that you're like,no, you could be,
Casey (00:53):
I couldn't care less.
I couldn't care less.
That's what it is.
I could versus could not.
Yes.
Somebody says I could care less.
I'm like, all right.
Okay.
That's the one.
Kari (01:04):
Okay.
So let's backtrack a bit becausewe have some stuff that we want
to talk about beforemasturbation.
Casey (01:09):
Welcome to come with Casey
Kari (01:10):
or
Casey (01:12):
your host.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
Kari (01:14):
and I'm just Carrie
Casey (01:15):
and you're just Carrie.
Just carry, minimize yourself,marginalize yourself.
Kari (01:19):
It's just been a while since I've introduced myself
that way.
So I thought it fitting.
Casey (01:23):
It's been a while.
We haven't been doing as manyepisodes recently as we have in
the past.
Kari (01:27):
Don't call attention to that.
Casey (01:28):
I will.
We're human.
No it's not a mistake.
It's more by design and you'llall get there whenever you get
there and you'll be happy youdid.
But this episode, so we're goingto talk about a few things
before we really get into thecore topic, which is all about
touching yourself.
And we're going to alloweveryone to experience the
pleasure of touching yourselves,but not quite yet.
We're going to edge.
You got to
Kari (01:47):
tease it.
Yeah, we're going to edging.
There it is.
That's so much better edging.
You're right.
Casey (01:51):
So let's start it off by calling attention to, um, by the
time that you're hearing thistonight.
Is the one year anniversary ofsome of our, what have become
some of our close friends.
Kari (02:03):
Yeah.
We hung out with them thisweekend.
Casey (02:05):
Exactly.
Kari (02:06):
That's crazy.
Casey (02:07):
So if you were a fan of burlesque, not only burlesque,
but you're a fan of likeinclusive burlesque, and you're
a fan of the unique
Kari (02:17):
like goth at burlesque, the extravagance,
Casey (02:19):
the show.
I mean,
Kari (02:21):
they really like toy.
I don't think that burlesque hasboundaries.
But if they did, then NightshadeBurlesque is like a big fuck you
to those.
Yes.
Like they go above and beyond.
They're always bringing newacts.
They have these unique, funthemes.
Um, but with it being their oneyear anniversary, the show is
(02:42):
going to be fucking insane.
Yes.
Casey (02:44):
Tonight.
of this episode is the one yearanniversary of nightshade
burlesque.
We've got our usual table thatwe get every month.
We're bringing some friends,some virgin.
We
Kari (02:54):
always bring noobs.
That's like our thing.
If you have never seen aburlesque show, if you have
never heard of nightshade, youare who we want to take.
Yeah, we want
Casey (03:03):
y'all to come join our table.
Kari (03:04):
I want to shock
Casey (03:05):
you.
Kari (03:06):
The last time we took, and this one's going to be
Casey (03:08):
shocked and off.
Kari (03:09):
It is the last time we took a couple.
Um, the male of this couple,this was his very first time
ever
Casey (03:15):
totally getting a message from the person.
Kari (03:17):
Oh, I will.
Cause you're going to get amessage
Casey (03:19):
From the wife of this couple.
That's like, you're talkingabout us.
Yes.
We're going.
Yeah.
Um, yes, we are.
Kari (03:24):
Not only did this individual get to experience
like.
The death drops of all deathdrops.
Casey (03:32):
That's true.
Kari (03:33):
It was at his side.
Like I have never seen a deathdrop that close, much less like
newbie at his side.
And then there was a male.
Performer that stripped.
I had never seen that before.
Oh,
Casey (03:48):
That was the, uh, the opera singer.
The opera singer.
Kari (03:50):
This is the most talented and like, and he sings for the
Dallas Opera?
Casey (03:56):
No, Houston.
Kari (03:57):
Oh, Houston.
Houston, okay.
Houston Opera.
And he literally came on, he waslike, I wanna be part of your
show and I'm gonna strip whilesinging opera.
What?
Like,
Casey (04:05):
that's exactly what
Kari (04:06):
they did.
That's a thing.
It was so disrobe while the mostmajestic internal voice, it's
still in my soul.
I can hear him.
And we had an absolute blastwith this.
We always do.
Like we said, there's never adull moment when we go to these
shows.
So if you would like to look upnightshade burlesque, they are
(04:28):
on Instagram.
Uh, it's probably the best wayto see what they have up and
coming, but they sell tickets.
They sell VIP, they sell justregular door tickets.
Um, but it is an event to, to beat.
And not only that, but you'realso going to get vendors.
They have people that come out.
We do.
We have some friends of
Casey (04:45):
ours.
We've got a very close friend ofours out there and her jewelry
is fantastic.
Last time we were there, she hadintroduced, I don't know if it
was new, but it was new to me.
She had introduced a new linewhere she was crafting small
knives.
So they were like, it was likecutlery on a necklace.
Kari (05:02):
Yes.
Casey (05:03):
There
Kari (05:03):
was like
Casey (05:05):
butcher knives and chef's knives and all.
It was very horror themed in myopinion, but it was all
functional.
They were sharpened.
They were ready to go.
Did you know that
Kari (05:13):
she made the headpiece for my wedding?
Casey (05:15):
I did know that.
Kari (05:16):
Isn't that crazy?
Casey (05:17):
Of course I'm aware of
Kari (05:18):
that.
I mean, we got married how manyyears
Casey (05:20):
ago?
This was 2015.
Yeah.
2015.
Kari (05:23):
Yeah.
So how many years ago?
Casey (05:25):
Well, five plus five is 10.
So, you know, here's the thingfor 2020.
Kari (05:28):
I don't write a date
Casey (05:29):
plus
Kari (05:30):
four for 2024.
I don't ever write a date.
I don't have a job that I haveto write a date.
I don't ever have to do that.
So I actually wrote somethingout for my son the other day and
I was like, what year is this?
And he gave me this like suchlike bleak look, like I'm an
idiot.
And I'm like, first of all, son,you have to write your date
every day.
I never have to ever.
(05:50):
So, yeah.
Um, however many years thatwe've been married, that we have
no of this individual and theyare insanely talented and again,
it's Oh, Fortuna.
Oh,
Casey (06:01):
H F.
Yeah.
Kari (06:02):
O
Casey (06:02):
R T U N A.
Kari (06:03):
Yeah.
And most times they have boothsset up at all these fun, unique
events.
Casey (06:07):
Yeah.
So come check out NightshadeBurlesque.
Uh, by the time you're hearingthis, the show will be sold out.
Kari (06:13):
Yes, but you can get on board for next month, the first
Casey (06:16):
Friday of
Kari (06:17):
every month.
At
Casey (06:18):
the Cicada.
Kari (06:19):
Yep.
Casey (06:20):
In Fort Worth.
Kari (06:21):
Oh, God.
Is that the Gemini show?
Casey (06:23):
The Gemini?
Because it's June.
What is it?
What makes it the Gemini show?
Because it's June.
No, that makes the people wouldbe, there's people, but I don't
think the show has a Zodiac.
That would be cool
Kari (06:36):
though.
They should do a Zodiac show.
If any of y'all are listening,y'all should do a Zodiac show
and let me be a part of it.
We're doing
Casey (06:46):
12 performers.
13.
If you're going off the oldcalendars,
Kari (06:49):
right now, we don't buy by that because it alters my,
Casey (06:54):
it makes me not what I think it
Kari (06:55):
makes me a direct reflection of not how I feel.
So I'm not about that.
What else is
Casey (06:59):
going on?
We are doing have taken uponourselves to, uh, we're actually
introducing a Shabariinstructional, um, So let's
break this down a little bit,Carrie and I have been into
Shibari for the past year and ahalf that we've really dove into
it.
So on one level, we are we'vebeen studying this for a while.
Kari (07:23):
You've been, you dived in, dude, you dived in deep.
You were roping up chairs andeverything.
I can get my hands on like.
He, you would send me this like,video of your leg all wrapped up
in a, and I'm like, O Okay.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
But that's what you do though,is like you learn something and
you dive on like into the deepend with it.
(07:43):
My
Casey (07:43):
neurodivergent self Yeah.
Tends to take a hobby and turnit into an obsession.
Kari (07:48):
Yeah, you went.
It's something I do
Casey (07:50):
and with some hobbies I dive into them deep and then I
recede.
And I give them away and givethem up.
Shabari has been something thatI have taken very close to
heart.
It speaks to me on a very deeplevel.
And I love every single thingabout it.
We have talked with Shabariexperts.
We have from around the world atthis point.
Kari (08:10):
I do think that Shabari has probably been our biggest
guests.
Appearance has been people.
That's been the thing we'vetalked about the most on the
show.
Yeah.
And so,
Casey (08:20):
so we decided to do after this much time of really diving
in.
Well, and
Kari (08:24):
how many people have asked
Casey (08:26):
for it?
Yes.
That's been the other drivingfactor.
The other variable is that we'vehad many people say, Hey, we
don't really have much aboutmuch like that in Fort worth
that's outside of maybe adungeon setting.
Kari (08:38):
Yeah.
Casey (08:38):
Um, do y'all have any plans to maybe instruct a class?
And so we took it upon ourselvesto construct and release An
introductory class for bedroomplay when it comes to Shabari.
So we're going to be hosting ison May 26th of this year.
We're going to be hosting thismonth of this month, right?
(08:59):
We're going to be hosting anintro to Shabari class.
We're going to be going overbasic knots.
Basic frictions.
We're going to be going over,uh, anatomy of rope, anatomy of
the human body.
We're going to be going overconsent.
We're going to be going over
Kari (09:12):
how to be a bottom and what that means and what that
looks like and how to be abottom and
Casey (09:17):
a top.
Kari (09:17):
Yeah.
And how to incorporate into yourbedroom.
Um, because here's the thing,like, yes, you can take Shabari
and go the most extreme versionof that and get into the
suspension and the likesubspace, and that is a whole
other version of what we aretrying to teach for this class.
This is Shabari 101.
And again, you're having adoctor teach you the aspects of
(09:41):
the body and the location of thebody in which you want to tie in
areas that you don't want totie.
Yeah.
Because at the end of the day.
It's about the comfort and thesafety of your bottom.
And so that's why I do feel likethis class is going to be such
an amazing experience if you'retrying to learn, because it is
going to be, we say couples thatjust means more than one.
(10:02):
That doesn't mean you're acouple.
Casey (10:04):
Um, so we, whenever we say couples, we more mean
partners.
Yeah.
Kari (10:07):
If you're
Casey (10:07):
a partner of two of three of four, whatever it is.
We are accepting of monogamous,we're accepting of open poly.
If you have partners, like it'sokay to bring each other.
Kari (10:19):
Yeah.
Basically it's just who wasgoing to be the one tying and
who was going to be the onegetting tied.
And we're going to give you oneor ones where, yeah, but we're
going to give you bothperspectives.
And that's one thing that I feellike I've seen a lot about when
it comes to these differentclasses and the things that they
offer, not always.
(10:39):
Is it on both ends or they mighthyper focus on one side of it
being the rigor, uh, being theone tying and maybe a little
less on the rope bunny or thebottom or whatever phrase that
you prefer to, to be called.
So, um, our tickets areavailable now.
If you go into our Instagrampage there, it's the first, um,
(11:01):
it's the only, it's the onlylink.
So there's no confusion.
You just go on there, you clickon it.
Um, but if for whatever reasonyou're having issues with the
payment, uh, just shoot us amessage.
There are other forms that weare accepting payments when it
comes to the class.
Um, but understand that this isalso going to come with a rope
that then you and whoever youcome to the class with get to
(11:23):
take.
Casey (11:23):
That was exactly what I was about to touch on.
Is that part of your entry?
Is having a rope to take home
Kari (11:29):
pretty much all of their entry because these ropes are
not cheap,
Casey (11:32):
correct?
So everyone will every couplethat attends or every
partnership that all attends,we'll go home with a hank of
rope.
And they'll be able to use,we're going to teach you how to
use it, how to take care of it,all of that kind of stuff, uh,
the different types of rope andwhere it's going to be an
overall fun time.
It's going to be a super
Kari (11:49):
relaxed.
It's going to be fun, likeplanted to come.
And then also meet some of thelike core people that you're
going to want to hang out withlater.
Like we're not just doing thisfor like, eh, whatever, like
we're trying to build acommunity.
And the most that we hear isthat people want that community
built and we are not a hundredpercent finding it.
So fuck it.
We're just going to create it.
(12:11):
Exactly.
So let's masturbate.
And that was a quick jump to thenext topic.
Casey (12:16):
I feel like we said all we need to say about our,
Kari (12:18):
no, we, no, we did.
It's just normal.
We have this like unique segue.
You're just like, that's my
Casey (12:23):
unique segue today.
It was
Kari (12:24):
very unique.
I wonder how much time it tookyou to make up that one.
Casey (12:28):
A while.
Yeah.
I was festering at it.
I was letting that one stew fora little bit.
Kari (12:33):
So it's Masturbation May, and dammit, there's a lot to
talk about when it comes tothat.
Casey (12:37):
There is.
Kari (12:38):
A lot.
We were literally sitting downat lunch earlier and writing
down all these different topicsand all these subjects and
different things to do with likemasturbation around where it
comes to self masturbation orcouples masturbation.
I mean, we really just.
Casey (12:54):
Have been talking about a lot The biggest thing that we
see here is that we went tolunch today and we were talking
about Our episode we havewaitresses walking by us
bartenders walking by us aswe're talking about masturbation
So let's talk about let's startthis off with the reason for
masturbating in the first placeCarrie In your personal reasons
(13:16):
in your personal opinion.
Why do people masturbate?
Kari (13:20):
I mean, can I just say why I masturbate?
Yeah You Okay.
Um, I'm bored.
I can't sleep.
Um, maybe I'm teaching a classcoming up and I got like some
strong nerves masturbate.
Um, I love morning masturbation.
You know, that's why I used tolove when you would go get
(13:41):
coffee.
Casey (13:42):
Go get coffee so I can just run one out real quick.
You
Kari (13:46):
go get coffee.
Yes, sir.
Please.
No, but I mean, but there'shonestly, there's a lot of
reasons to masturbate.
And I mean, those are some of mylike personal ones and I would
say like,
Casey (13:57):
let's break those down a little bit.
Yeah.
What was your first
Kari (13:59):
one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think I say when I can'tsleep, I don't know.
You said boredom.
Okay.
Um, I do have time now where sayI'm off work on a Thursday and I
have the entire day.
Um, a lot of times I do likeplan out what I'm going to do,
but I don't really plan out thetime in between my plans.
Casey (14:20):
So maybe you have like 20, 30 minutes.
Kari (14:23):
Yeah.
And the thing is it's rare.
It's very rare.
Rare that me, I am home bymyself.
It is never fucking happens.
And it's really new within likethis year for me to be home by
myself.
The last, I don't know how 15years I've never had a day by
(14:43):
myself.
So, um, that is something that Itry to like take aside and do,
you know, like it's a treatyourself moment.
Um, and so I can't really say itfully comes out of boredom
because, you I'll be honest.
I'm very rarely ever bored, butit is nice to have that like
self time to please myself, puton something that I want to
(15:07):
watch, put on something that'sgoing to be stimulating for me
and just have my own moment.
Casey (15:11):
Yeah.
Okay.
So we have that boredom factor.
Kari (15:15):
I mean, how often do you masturbate from being bored or
when you're bored?
Oh, I definitely masturbate ifI'm bored.
Casey (15:20):
If I'm at home by myself and I'm like, there's not much
to do.
I've completed my task for theday that I wanted to get done.
And I'm going, I've got like a30 minute window.
Yeah, of course.
I think that boredom is a greatreason to masturbate.
Now I have this like back of myhead feeling that there's people
out there being like, well, waita minute.
Masturbation is not okay to do.
(15:40):
Uh, masturbation is taking awayfrom something in my life or
it's a shameful act.
And we.
Immediately wanted to dispel anyof those myths.
Kari (15:52):
I hope that people don't feel that way anymore.
And I know that they do.
I know that they do.
But damn it.
Like stop it.
Stop it.
Casey (16:00):
Profound thought there.
Kari (16:02):
Well, no, I mean, Damn it, stop it.
You stop it.
But like, Masturbation is a veryhealthy function of life.
And so, and I've heard it.
Again I've heard it from myclients that they're like, Oh,
my husband told me earlier thathe masturbated and I was just
grossed out and offended.
I'm like, what?
(16:23):
It's his body.
Like it's his time.
It's his body.
You're like, you don't get to,you don't get to dictate when
semen comes out of his penis.
That's not your job.
And to feel jealous of what hishand, the
Casey (16:40):
toy
Kari (16:40):
that he
Casey (16:40):
used.
So that's the core of thequestion for me, whenever
someone's like, I don't like itwith my partner masturbates is I
want to say, okay, so like, whatsort of, like, what sort of
reaction do you have to yourpartner masturbating?
Is it because they're feelingpleasure?
That is not.
Directly a result of your, youproviding it.
In which case I do strongly feellike a conversation should be
(17:03):
had because your partner selfpleasuring is just a version of
self love and self support.
Kari (17:10):
I mean, it's like the strongest version of self love.
Casey (17:14):
I feel like that should be encouraged in a relationship
is to be like, look, the morecomfortable you feel in your own
skin and the more you loveyourself, the more you have the
capacity to love me.
Yeah.
And in that instance, if you'reable to sit down and pleasure
yourself and feel closer toyourself and comfortable with
yourself, you're not taking awayfrom our relationship.
(17:36):
adding to yourself, which allowsyou to gain the capacity to care
for me and us.
Our relationship grows, be gojerk off.
So our relationship gets better.
Kari (17:47):
So I come home and you're in a better mood.
Casey (17:50):
Yeah.
I mean, that is a side effect ofmasturbation for sure, but
there's common misconceptionsthat we have with masturbation
where people have been told inthe past, some, all right, I'm
going to lift some of these offand some of me, you're going to
go.
People really still think this.
The sad reality is, yeah, peoplestill think there are some
cultures, white AmericanChristians, that still
(18:14):
perpetuate these myths as ifit's like a real thing, but
there's no evidence to supportthem whatsoever.
So, um, masturbation is notgoing to cause blindness,
headaches, or vision problems.
Kari (18:26):
I wonder who came, I actually, I feel like I remember
the story of who came up withthat.
Kellogg's.
Yep.
Yeah.
Cause they were like, we'regoing to create a cereal.
That's so bland.
Or something like that.
Casey (18:36):
I don't have the, I would have to pull up the actual story
itself, but it was somethingalong the lines of, it was like
almost an anti masturbationcereal and I'm going to have to
look it up.
We're going to keep talkingwhile I look it up.
But what
Kari (18:47):
was the, okay.
I'm going to interrupt you and Ihope it wasn't the next one that
you're going to bring up was theHarry Palms.
Casey (18:52):
I think that might've been the next one.
That one to me is just, I don't
Kari (18:55):
understand that one.
So semen will make you grow hairon your palms.
I remember hearing about that inhigh school and like laughing
about it.
And then Eminem came out withthe song where he talked about
like, Holy shit, hairy palms.
And I was like, Oh my God,that's hilarious.
And I also remember having toexplain that quote to quite a
(19:17):
few people.
And they were like, why the helldid he talk about having hairy
palms?
I'm like, Oh, my palms is toohairy to hide.
Yeah.
My palms are too hairy to hide.
Exactly.
Casey (19:27):
Wait, hold on.
So I pulled up the masturbationone from Kellogg's, uh, in the
young United States, one of theloudest anti masturbation voices
was John Harvey Kellogg, aphysician and devout seventh day
Adventist in Battle Creek,Michigan.
In addition to running thesuccessful surgery practice,
Kellogg edited good health, thechurch's magazine, promoting
Adventist beliefs and healthyliving, such as adopting a
(19:49):
vegetarian lifestyle.
Abstaining from alcohol,tobacco, caffeine, uh, and it
just goes on and on to talkthere.
Let's see, uh, the doctor hadalso come to believe that sex,
including masturbation, wasdetrimental to physical,
emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
He personally abstained from itand never consummated his
marriage.
Wow.
He and his wife kept separatebedrooms and they adopted eight
(20:12):
children and fostered another34.
Holy shit.
Kari (20:16):
She did all of that.
And she didn't get laid.
Fuck that.
Casey (20:20):
I mean, I bet she did.
Kari (20:22):
By the way, all it was saying
Casey (20:24):
was that he never consummated his marriage.
I was saying he abstained.
Like, come on.
No,
Kari (20:32):
this one was adopted.
I totally wasn't pregnant.
Casey (20:36):
Kellogg catalog, 39 different symptoms liable to
affect a chronic masturbator,including general infirmity.
What the fuck is that?
Defective development, moodswings, fickleness, bashfulness,
boldness, bad posture, stiffjoints, fondness for spicy
foods.
That's why I love spicy food.
That
Kari (20:54):
explains everything.
My masturbation
Casey (20:57):
led to my love of spicy food.
Acne, palpitations and epilepsy.
Oh my God.
I'm just, I'm not even going toread any more of this cause this
is killing me.
In other words, this guy was soagainst any sort of pleasure on
the sexual side that he made acereal around it.
Kari (21:15):
I don't know, man, that's weird to me, but
Casey (21:19):
good Lord.
So, uh, what else is it saying?
Masturbation is not going tomake your genitals shrink or
grow.
So we talked about this earlier.
I.
Actually fell for this mythwhenever I was younger.
I thought that if I
Kari (21:30):
hear it, Oh, I don't even remember where I heard it.
Casey (21:33):
But I remember thinking that like, maybe it was the way,
like I, I gripped myself ormyself while I was masturbating.
Is that going to doing that toomuch?
Is that going to make me likesmaller?
Is my penis going to shrink orbecome less in circumference
because I'm doing this, but thatis not factual at all.
Completely unfounded in any sortof thing.
(21:53):
Um, the becoming addictiveportion.
Of things is actually stilldebated today.
And there's this growingmovement, the majority movement
now, which is like.
Sex isn't.
Addictive as a wholemasturbation is not addictive as
a whole.
And the other side of theargument where they say, well,
you're getting a drip ofserotonin or dopamine or
(22:14):
oxytocin is that you're becomingaddicted to the drip of these
chemicals still.
Unfounded because we have manyactivities in our lives, which
allow for those ha in quote,happy chemicals to be provided.
So you're what you're doing atthat point is starting to
Kari (22:32):
scrolling on your phone.
Does it?
Like, it's just silly to think.
Yeah.
Casey (22:36):
So saying that masturbation or sex is addictive
while these other things arenot, but they're producing the
same result is just kind ofsilly.
Kari (22:47):
Yeah.
Casey (22:47):
In my opinion.
Um, it's not going to causeinjury or harm.
It's not going to change thesize of shape of your genitals.
And my favorite one.
It's not going to release storedup sperm or sexual fluids.
There, there's no such thing aslike, uh, like the buildup
stored, you have fighters, youhave toxic masculinity, people
(23:10):
who are like, no, I'm going to,uh, it's semen retention is what
they do.
And semen retention is not athing.
You know what it is?
You know what happens?
It's resorbed.
Semen's produced, and then itgets resorbed if it's not used.
It's not sitting in your ballsack, just waiting like, we're
getting more powerful by beinghere.
(23:30):
We're super, I'm super sanesemen.
That's not a thing to happen.
We'll produce
Kari (23:36):
only boys.
Casey (23:40):
But what masturbation can do for you, um, as a vulva owner
yourself, it can relievemenstrual cramps.
And muscle tension.
Kari (23:47):
It definitely does.
Casey (23:48):
It can be a good source of physical and emotional
relaxation.
So because we have some of thosegood chemical drips after you
have an orgasm, it could relaxyou.
So if you're doing things likethere's a, an examination coming
up, or you're about to travel,or there's something that's
causing you some stress in yourlife, that's on your mind.
Masturbate,
Kari (24:06):
masturbate about it.
Yep.
Casey (24:08):
Say that five times fast.
Kari (24:09):
Masturbate about it.
Masturbate about it.
Masturbate about it.
Not being literal.
Casey (24:13):
Um, it can increase circulation in the body.
Uh, it doesn't say what type ofcirculation, but circulation
nonetheless, it can increase theability, uh, or ease to be
orgasmic.
So you can, this is one thatwe've talked about in the past
is that if you have trouble or,uh, achieving orgasm,
masturbate, like masturbatebefore sex, masturbate during
sex.
Kari (24:33):
If you have trouble getting aroused.
Masturbate beforehand and it'snot, it doesn't mean
masturbating to come.
It could just be edgingyourself, which edging is a
whole other topic that we'regoing to get into in a minute
and we're not quite there yet.
But if you find yourself notfully aroused and then the other
aspect that we're going to talkabout is like being reactive to
pleasure.
And we
Casey (24:52):
can talk about that now.
Okay, go ahead.
Um, one of the big things welook at here is that You have
different types of arousal withthe two main types of arousal we
want to touch on is beingspontaneous at Spontaneous
arousal versus reactive arousalnow for the most part research
shows that males penis ownersare Spontaneous arousal types
(25:15):
that being that we could bewalking down the street and all
of a sudden it's I'm horny Yeah.
Uh, now on the physical side ofthings, it doesn't necessarily
mean it's like I have anerection, but it can just be
like, I have images andfantasies popping in my head.
I'm horny and I'm ready to gonow.
Uh, for the most part, Volvoowners don't experience that
spontaneous arousal.
(25:35):
There are plenty that do, butthere's more that do not.
There are more that areresponsive to just that it's
reactive arousal.
They need to engage in somethingthat causes arousal within the
body.
This can be foreplay.
This can be flirtatious text.
This can be touched, whatever,you know, however you react.
Kari (25:54):
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I mean, then that's a wholeother topic, but like the
communication and what they needfor arousal, But that's
Casey (26:00):
so pertinent to this.
Kari (26:01):
It is, but I mean, yes you're correct.
And I do, I was trying not to goon a tangent cause I'm really
good about that.
But the reason we brought allthat up is because what I was
saying beforehand is yes, youcould be the partner that's
sitting back, touchingthemselves and doing things to
start that arousal.
If it's not as immediate, um,and there's no shame in that.
(26:22):
And it's also on the other side.
I remember when we very firststarted being intimate together,
you were the first guy that evertouched himself while we were
together.
And I was like, um, that's myjob.
Kind of, but just more of like,I more felt like I was doing
something wrong because you werethen touching yourself for
(26:45):
arousal.
And then I was like, no,actually, that's actually hot
for you to be doing that andstumbling yourself and then.
Casey (26:54):
Absolutely.
It was also something that wehad discussed where we
discussed, like you touchingyourself while we're at, while
we're having sex.
And if that was something okayor not, okay.
To which my response is alwayslike, absolutely.
For me, it's like, for me,that's a visual turn on.
It's like, yes, touch yourselfwhile we're together.
That like that just adds to thepleasure and then, but I hadn't
(27:14):
been
Kari (27:14):
with people in the past that they were not okay with
that.
They thought that I wasn't, thatlike I wasn't feeling good and
so I had to like step in and doit myself when that really
wasn't necessarily the case.
Which
Casey (27:25):
is the stem from that large myth that men are told
that it's like, no, you'reresponsible for your partner's
pleasure, which is.
Not factual.
No, we are all responsible forour own team effort.
Exactly.
And especially in the bedroom,it's, it shouldn't be.
I'm going to cause you toorgasm, change your thought
process to, I'm going tofacilitate the context in which
(27:48):
you achieve orgasm.
Yeah.
Not I'm doing it for you, butI'm going to help you get there.
Like that to me is a huge one.
And I always enjoy talking aboutthat because I've talked to a
ton of men who are like, no, I'mgoing to make her come.
Um, Not with that attitude.
You
Kari (28:06):
know how you're not gonna make her come with that
attitude.
Yeah, that's fair Well, I'm theother topic that we kind of like
briefly touched on and then wemoved away Edging let's go into
edging
Casey (28:21):
if you've listened to our show for any length of time
You've probably extensivelyheard of us talk about edging
Yeah, but for those that arestill kind of going like I've
heard about it I kind of knowwhat it is.
How can I engage it at myself?
Edging is building towardsclimax and then backing off
right before climax occurs.
So this can be done, uh,masturbating on a solo level of
just getting yourself reallyclose, which actually can also
(28:44):
be beneficial because it takessome self control to not orgasm.
At that point, you have all thislike arousal going, you have all
these good feeling chemicalsgoing through the bloodstream.
And now you're like, I just wantto come.
But if you stop yourself fromdoing it, it teaches you a
little bit of self controlthere.
So if you can back off fromthat, Um, and then build up and
(29:04):
back off and do that multipletimes.
And as we're saying, edgeyourself, it can lead to some
really cool results, includingan intense, intensified orgasm,
as well as if you're a penisowner, this can actually lead to
becoming, uh, multi orgasmic,which is a bit, which is a big
one that it's like, guys can'tdo that.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can.
(29:26):
Yes, you can.
Kari (29:26):
You can.
It's
Casey (29:27):
not necessarily going to be like the same intensity of
orgasm as maybe like a primaryclimax whenever you actually
ejaculate.
Kari (29:34):
Yeah.
Casey (29:35):
However, you can get through these really amazing
feelings just by edging andwhether that be done by yourself
or a partner.
is unimportant.
It's just that it happened inthe first place.
Kari (29:46):
Yeah.
I mean, you have really exploredinto having more of like
multiple orgasms through edging.
Casey (29:52):
Yeah, it works.
Yeah.
It's something, and that's, Imean, personal experience and
academic readings, it works atyourself and do it a few times.
Kari (30:02):
And honestly, for like the Volvo owners listening, It's
great if you edge and then stopand then edge and then stop.
And then you're almost likethis.
You get to be like the dominatedversion of yourself while being
the bratty version of yourself.
And it's just really fun likegame that you can kind of play.
But I will say when you finallylet yourself come, it's.
(30:25):
Much more intense than just likerubbing one off real quick.
If you have the time, like youhave the time to sit there and
like, take a bath and relax.
You have time to like do yourmakeup regimen or your nightly
routine.
Like why not take the time withyour vulva?
And stretch it out a little bit.
And I will say I'm even guiltyof that.
(30:46):
Like I'll just like
Casey (30:49):
stretch.
Whatever
Kari (30:50):
the time spent with your vulva, not stretching your vulva
out.
And maybe you can, while you'reexploring, but take the time and
stretch it out a little bit.
Yeah.
Just stretch it out as wide asyou can get it.
We can do our own bat.
Look
Casey (31:07):
at my bat wing.
Kari (31:07):
Exactly.
We can do the same damn thing.
I like to call it the
Casey (31:10):
flying squirrel.
Then like a sugar glider.
Kari (31:13):
Yeah.
Like a sugar glider.
Give them the old sugar glider.
But edging isn't just to likeintensify orgasm.
It's also again, about takingthat time for yourself to
yourself, to feel yourself, toplease yourself.
Like do it.
Casey (31:27):
I quote you on that one.
Kari (31:28):
You can, if you want.
Casey (31:30):
Oh my gosh.
So then let's talk about likeplaces to masturbate
Kari (31:35):
on the
Casey (31:36):
where's your favorite place to masturbate?
Kari (31:39):
Um, I would say i'm probably just like the bed just
because that is easier like Wedon't really have a detachable
shower head.
So that thing doesn't reallywork.
Um I know that a lot of womenlove to masquerade in the
shower.
Me personally, um, it's harderfor me to masturbate standing
(32:01):
up.
Uh, I think it's just how myvagina is shaped.
It's a little bit moredifficult.
I get a lot more sensation ifI'm laying back versus standing.
Casey (32:10):
Um, but I know
Kari (32:11):
a lot of women
Casey (32:12):
contribute that in many ways to being like, you're off
your feet.
You're not having to work ashard to not only like stand up
and your muscles are less activeSo you're allowed time to just
relax everything
Kari (32:24):
Yeah,
Casey (32:24):
because part of the primary thing that facilitates
orgasm during masturbation isthe ability to relax How relaxed
are you?
Have you created an environmentwhere you're relaxed?
Are you in a location whereyou're relaxed?
Are you in an area where youdon't have to worry about
outside factors such as maybethe environment?
Children or roommates orpartners that are just going to
walk in the door.
(32:44):
Have you created the context inwhich you can masturbate
comfortably?
Kari (32:49):
Yeah.
Okay.
What
Casey (32:51):
about you?
My favorite.
I mean, standing up.
Kari (32:54):
Yeah.
You're a stand in comer.
Yeah.
Honestly,
Casey (32:59):
like now that I think of it, I'm like, yeah, I like to
receive lying down.
Yeah, I like to receive oral.
But if I'm going to masturbate,yeah, standing up, I would say,
I've never seen all my
Kari (33:10):
videos.
I've been you standing.
So that makes sense.
Casey (33:13):
Well, that's just for camera angles.
Let's try to get a few things inthe picture and try to be more
of like
Kari (33:17):
one.
Um, so I also want to talk aboutbeing stoned and masturbating.
Casey (33:25):
Um, okay.
Kari (33:28):
Have you been stoned and masturbated before?
I mean, you've been stoned andgot head a lot.
But have you been stoned andmasturbated before?
Casey (33:35):
I don't know.
I'd have to look back, butprobably.
Kari (33:37):
You'd have to look back at what?
Your masturbating journal?
I
Casey (33:40):
got like a spank bank.
Kari (33:41):
Oh, is that what it is?
I swear to God.
Um, as often as I will say Ismoke, I don't think that I
masturbate when I smoke.
Like smoking and then you goingin and having pleasure and all
that.
That's like one of my absolutefavorites are doing that.
And even going down on you andlike doing something oral.
(34:02):
That's one of my favorites.
Um, but I don't think that I'vereally explored stoned
masturbation, but it was one ofthe top ones on our list.
And it makes sense because we'vereally talked about like getting
in that head space and relaxingand calming down and not, and
because I feel like some peoplecan overthink the concept of
masturbating.
Um, But you're not going to dothat if you're stoned, I
(34:22):
promise.
I guarantee it.
Casey (34:26):
I don't know.
You have some paranoid asspeople out there.
Right.
What was that noise?
Somebody's going to barge in anysecond, I can feel it, but it
goes back to creating thecontext.
Like, where are you at?
Are you relaxed?
Are you comfortable?
Um, what are some suggestions wecan give to people to create
that relaxed environment?
Obviously you're like, Hey, youknow, get a little stoned.
(34:46):
Can help.
That'd be a great
Kari (34:47):
way.
If that helps you relax.
Set the mood
Casey (34:49):
with lighting.
Yeah.
Uh, light some candles.
Make it dark, like whatever youneed that makes you feel
comfortable.
So think about times whereyou're relaxing.
So if you're somebody that takesbaths, what is it?
What is the environment that youset up whenever you do that?
Is it something where you havelike bubble bath and candles and
music and all that do everysingle bit of those things and
(35:11):
start to explore?
Kari (35:11):
Shit, get yourself some waterproof, like toys.
Casey (35:16):
Yeah.
Kari (35:17):
Masturbating in the bathtub.
Casey (35:19):
Got plenty of those.
Our favorite.
There's so many waterproof.
You can even go to glass, whichis always our go to.
That's why I got one of ourfavorite ones.
Glass
Kari (35:25):
is a lot of fun in the tub.
Casey (35:26):
Heat it up, cool it down.
Use it in the tub.
There's plenty of room.
Glass is a lot
Kari (35:30):
of fun.
But there's a lot of waterproofvibrators and, pardon me, and
different things like that youcan also use.
But again, it's just about likecreating the space, giving
yourself the time, relaxing, andexploring.
There was a lot that I learnedabout my own vulva when I really
got into masturbating becausethat really wasn't something
(35:52):
that I aggressively did.
Did until honestly, I got older,like
Casey (35:57):
you felt okay to do it,
Kari (35:59):
I guess.
So, yeah, because there was alot of shame growing up, like
within my household, it wasdefinitely, I mean, they, my, no
one talked to me aboutmasturbating, absolutely no one.
Cause girls don't masturbate.
That is how it was thought in myhousehold.
And so if the boys, my two olderbrothers masturbated, it was
(36:19):
like, ugh, Uh, why are you doingthat?
Oh my God.
And it was just like this likeodd negative mindset around it
that I was like, okay, I'm noteven spoken to about it.
And when it's spoken about them,it's insanely negative.
I'm pretty sure I'm not allowedto masturbate.
Like I can guarantee it.
(36:40):
I'm not allowed.
Um, but it's just, that's one ofthe reasons that we really
wanted to have this, like divinginto this month and what it
means.
Because.
You would be surprised knowingpeople that in this day and age
still don't masturbate.
(37:01):
Don't feel comfortable doing it.
Don't feel comfortable touchingthemselves.
Don't feel comfortable withtheir partners touching
themselves.
And it's just something thatwe're really, we got to break
that mold.
Like we are, this is not goingto be our only episode.
Talking about masturbation.
It's not.
We have more to discuss andwe're already running out of
time.
We have so much more that I wantto discuss on as far as it comes
(37:23):
with like masturbation and thedifferent toys.
Like, we actually just went tothe sex shop right by our house.
Oh let's dive into that.
You want to go dig into that oneand then that'll be like our
last topic.
Yeah.
Casey (37:33):
You've listened to any one of our episodes about self
pleasure.
You've noticed that one of thebiggest complaints we've had.
Is the lack of discussion aroundmale toys and then the lack of
availability about male toys.
But you know what?
That fucking change, likeperspective altered paradigm
(37:55):
shifted because we've been
Kari (37:57):
going into sex toys for the last 10 years of our
relationship, probably more.
And the lack of malemasturbators was strong.
You got a fleshlight at best.
Casey (38:10):
Yeah.
You had like these small littlesleeves.
Maybe a little vibrating thing,
Kari (38:14):
but I mean and then you had to manually do it
Casey (38:17):
Yeah,
Kari (38:17):
you had to do all by yourself Where we have vibrators
that we just slap it on ourfucking clit and call it a day
like you don't get to do thatand then we have glass and we
have things that like Suctioncup or clit up and down.
And then we have like the rabbitthat goes inside and we just
press a button
Casey (38:35):
and it moves and vibrates and it vibrates,
Kari (38:38):
stimulates a clit.
Like it does all of thesethings.
And trust me, we're very happywith the toys that we have
Casey (38:43):
and penis hunters have not traditionally had.
A lot of options.
So we went and we talked withone of the sales rep at velvet
box, which is one of ourfavorite DFW, uh, adult novelty
shops.
And we asked them, we're like,Hey, what are some of the newer
things that have come out of theend of the market in the last
couple of years that have reallybeen geared towards males and
(39:06):
they did not disappoint.
Kari (39:08):
No, it was really cute.
It was like, she was excited tohear that because it was
probably outside the norm aswell than what they're like used
to getting.
But she walked us over to thisglass case and.
It was about six different toys.
I had never seen before.
I've never seen these at leastsix, at least.
(39:30):
And they're these like biggermechanical looking like gadgets,
but the ability to likepersonalize it to what your
wants are.
Yeah, well,
Casey (39:41):
that was a big, one of the biggest ones she showed us,
and we're not going to go intonames.
Because we'll do that a lot oflater time, but there was one of
the brands was a, it took astroker kind of like a
flashlight, but made it morecompact and then put it into
this little, uh, housing thatwill allow you to control the
depth of the stroke.
So how far it goes down, um, aswell as adding like speed, as
(40:05):
well as adding vibrations.
And all sorts of stuff.
Uh, so that was one of the bigones.
There was another one that wasmanual, but you could change the
insides.
That was cool.
Create a pattern that you liked.
And as well as there was abutton on the side that you
could compress to create moresection for it.
Uh, there was other ones thatwere just different textures,
(40:27):
different like clarity.
So some of them were completelysee through because and as
Kari (40:31):
you, you brought up, they have like the flesh lights where
you can like model it after aporn star that you like, they
had the exact same concept.
So you could get differentattachments that were to the
porn stars, vagina shape ormold.
And that's one that we've
Casey (40:45):
like stared away from in the past, because we're kind of
like.
Like, do you really, if you'reinto it and you're like, I'm
going to get the pro model forthis person, that's fine.
Kari (40:54):
Yeah.
Be into it.
That's what it's there for.
Casey (40:56):
Go for it.
I'm not going to yuck your yum.
But what I'm going to do issuggest that like, maybe go for,
I don't know, the pattern insidethat feels good over what it
looks like on the outside.
How does it feel?
Go with that.
Unless you just have
Kari (41:08):
an amazing imagination and you were just fucking that girl,
like in your head, and you gotit, then yeah, 100 percent go
for it, but.
Casey (41:15):
And so many of these toys now are not only Bluetooth
enabled, meaning that you cancontrol them from your phone.
Your partner can control themfrom their phone.
You can do it long distance.
Kari (41:24):
Well, there was one toy that was like a girl toy and a
guy toy, and then they couldlink together.
Casey (41:28):
Absolutely.
They have plenty of those atthis point.
Kari (41:31):
Yeah.
Casey (41:31):
Uh, but they also make them now to where they, you can
actually watch something calledinteractive porn, in which case,
if you're watching an adult filmand it's able to, it syncs up
with the film.
So now the thing that you havematches what's going on screen.
Kari (41:48):
Could you imagine if it like the girl like pulled out
and like spit on his dick andthe thing like pulled out and
spit on him?
That would be a whole new level.
You're going a
Casey (42:02):
little too futuristic at this point.
Kari (42:05):
Hey, give it a few more years.
I'm counting on it.
It's going to be full.
Hey, if that little shake wakething could,
Casey (42:12):
Spray
Kari (42:12):
water on you
Casey (42:14):
And dispense cab fare,
Kari (42:16):
shutting down.
If y'all don't know what we'retalking about, it's a South park
reference.
And so
Casey (42:22):
whenever shake weight came out, yeah, anyway.
It's in terms of masturbation,this is, we're going to have a
continuing conversation on this.
What we want is we want to hearfrom you.
So if you would, as soon asyou're ready to shoot us an
email, um, I believe it's askit, come with Casey.
com.
Uh, you can shoot us a DM onInstagram, CW, underscore
(42:42):
official.
Respond to any of our stories,tag us in one of yours on
anything.
I
Kari (42:48):
want to hear like first masturbation stories.
That's what I want to hear.
Like, and you know what?
The next episode, I'll share myvery first masturbation story.
I'll share mine as well.
Okay.
I love that.
Again, this is may, this ismasturbation main.
We are not done talking aboutthe subject.
We have so much more that wewant to touch on.
Um, I mean, when, I mean, I havea whole ass list of stuff and I
was literally looking up at thetime and I was like, I cannot
(43:09):
believe.
How far we've gotten and there'sstill so much more to touch on.
Casey (43:14):
So for another episode of come with Casey, we are your
hosts.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
Kari (43:19):
and I'm Carrie Sanders.
And
Casey (43:20):
we'll see y'all next time.
Welcome to masturbation.
(00:02):
May.
Kari (00:04):
I have been looking forward to this month.
Truthfully, because there's alot to talk about.
We don't
Casey (00:10):
masturbate for 11 months out of the year, but once May
hits,
Kari (00:13):
it is on.
No, it's a five times a
Casey (00:16):
day.
Kari (00:17):
No, it's a great topic to discuss.
And I mean, obviously we do ourresearch.
We look at a lot of differentthings and I couldn't write
enough.
Or I couldn't not write enoughabout it.
I mean, the list, I don't knowhow to say that properly.
There was so much shit to talkabout.
I know
Casey (00:34):
I'm over here.
We're like, I know I could.
I could not.
I
Kari (00:37):
couldn't not.
I don't know,
Casey (00:40):
but I was always terrible with the double negatives.
Kari (00:42):
I'm you know, I'm really bad.
What's the one that you fuckinghate when everyone was like, I
couldn't be more excited.
What me?
Yeah.
That's the one that you're like,no, you could be,
Casey (00:53):
I couldn't care less.
I couldn't care less.
That's what it is.
I could versus could not.
Yes.
Somebody says I could care less.
I'm like, all right.
Okay.
That's the one.
Kari (01:04):
Okay.
So let's backtrack a bit becausewe have some stuff that we want
to talk about beforemasturbation.
Casey (01:09):
Welcome to come with Casey
Kari (01:10):
or
Casey (01:12):
your host.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
Kari (01:14):
and I'm just Carrie
Casey (01:15):
and you're just Carrie.
Just carry, minimize yourself,marginalize yourself.
Kari (01:19):
It's just been a while since I've introduced myself
that way.
So I thought it fitting.
Casey (01:23):
It's been a while.
We haven't been doing as manyepisodes recently as we have in
the past.
Kari (01:27):
Don't call attention to that.
Casey (01:28):
I will.
We're human.
No it's not a mistake.
It's more by design and you'llall get there whenever you get
there and you'll be happy youdid.
But this episode, so we're goingto talk about a few things
before we really get into thecore topic, which is all about
touching yourself.
And we're going to alloweveryone to experience the
pleasure of touching yourselves,but not quite yet.
We're going to edge.
You got to
Kari (01:47):
tease it.
Yeah, we're going to edging.
There it is.
That's so much better edging.
You're right.
Casey (01:51):
So let's start it off by calling attention to, um, by the
time that you're hearing thistonight.
Is the one year anniversary ofsome of our, what have become
some of our close friends.
Kari (02:03):
Yeah.
We hung out with them thisweekend.
Casey (02:05):
Exactly.
Kari (02:06):
That's crazy.
Casey (02:07):
So if you were a fan of burlesque, not only burlesque,
but you're a fan of likeinclusive burlesque, and you're
a fan of the unique
Kari (02:17):
like goth at burlesque, the extravagance,
Casey (02:19):
the show.
I mean,
Kari (02:21):
they really like toy.
I don't think that burlesque hasboundaries.
But if they did, then NightshadeBurlesque is like a big fuck you
to those.
Yes.
Like they go above and beyond.
They're always bringing newacts.
They have these unique, funthemes.
Um, but with it being their oneyear anniversary, the show is
(02:42):
going to be fucking insane.
Yes.
Casey (02:44):
Tonight.
of this episode is the one yearanniversary of nightshade
burlesque.
We've got our usual table thatwe get every month.
We're bringing some friends,some virgin.
We
Kari (02:54):
always bring noobs.
That's like our thing.
If you have never seen aburlesque show, if you have
never heard of nightshade, youare who we want to take.
Yeah, we want
Casey (03:03):
y'all to come join our table.
Kari (03:04):
I want to shock
Casey (03:05):
you.
Kari (03:06):
The last time we took, and this one's going to be
Casey (03:08):
shocked and off.
Kari (03:09):
It is the last time we took a couple.
Um, the male of this couple,this was his very first time
ever
Casey (03:15):
totally getting a message from the person.
Kari (03:17):
Oh, I will.
Cause you're going to get amessage
Casey (03:19):
From the wife of this couple.
That's like, you're talkingabout us.
Yes.
We're going.
Yeah.
Um, yes, we are.
Kari (03:24):
Not only did this individual get to experience
like.
The death drops of all deathdrops.
Casey (03:32):
That's true.
Kari (03:33):
It was at his side.
Like I have never seen a deathdrop that close, much less like
newbie at his side.
And then there was a male.
Performer that stripped.
I had never seen that before.
Oh,
Casey (03:48):
That was the, uh, the opera singer.
The opera singer.
Kari (03:50):
This is the most talented and like, and he sings for the
Dallas Opera?
Casey (03:56):
No, Houston.
Kari (03:57):
Oh, Houston.
Houston, okay.
Houston Opera.
And he literally came on, he waslike, I wanna be part of your
show and I'm gonna strip whilesinging opera.
What?
Like,
Casey (04:05):
that's exactly what
Kari (04:06):
they did.
That's a thing.
It was so disrobe while the mostmajestic internal voice, it's
still in my soul.
I can hear him.
And we had an absolute blastwith this.
We always do.
Like we said, there's never adull moment when we go to these
shows.
So if you would like to look upnightshade burlesque, they are
(04:28):
on Instagram.
Uh, it's probably the best wayto see what they have up and
coming, but they sell tickets.
They sell VIP, they sell justregular door tickets.
Um, but it is an event to, to beat.
And not only that, but you'realso going to get vendors.
They have people that come out.
We do.
We have some friends of
Casey (04:45):
ours.
We've got a very close friend ofours out there and her jewelry
is fantastic.
Last time we were there, she hadintroduced, I don't know if it
was new, but it was new to me.
She had introduced a new linewhere she was crafting small
knives.
So they were like, it was likecutlery on a necklace.
Kari (05:02):
Yes.
Casey (05:03):
There
Kari (05:03):
was like
Casey (05:05):
butcher knives and chef's knives and all.
It was very horror themed in myopinion, but it was all
functional.
They were sharpened.
They were ready to go.
Did you know that
Kari (05:13):
she made the headpiece for my wedding?
Casey (05:15):
I did know that.
Kari (05:16):
Isn't that crazy?
Casey (05:17):
Of course I'm aware of
Kari (05:18):
that.
I mean, we got married how manyyears
Casey (05:20):
ago?
This was 2015.
Yeah.
2015.
Kari (05:23):
Yeah.
So how many years ago?
Casey (05:25):
Well, five plus five is 10.
So, you know, here's the thingfor 2020.
Kari (05:28):
I don't write a date
Casey (05:29):
plus
Kari (05:30):
four for 2024.
I don't ever write a date.
I don't have a job that I haveto write a date.
I don't ever have to do that.
So I actually wrote somethingout for my son the other day and
I was like, what year is this?
And he gave me this like suchlike bleak look, like I'm an
idiot.
And I'm like, first of all, son,you have to write your date
every day.
I never have to ever.
(05:50):
So, yeah.
Um, however many years thatwe've been married, that we have
no of this individual and theyare insanely talented and again,
it's Oh, Fortuna.
Oh,
Casey (06:01):
H F.
Yeah.
Kari (06:02):
O
Casey (06:02):
R T U N A.
Kari (06:03):
Yeah.
And most times they have boothsset up at all these fun, unique
events.
Casey (06:07):
Yeah.
So come check out NightshadeBurlesque.
Uh, by the time you're hearingthis, the show will be sold out.
Kari (06:13):
Yes, but you can get on board for next month, the first
Casey (06:16):
Friday of
Kari (06:17):
every month.
At
Casey (06:18):
the Cicada.
Kari (06:19):
Yep.
Casey (06:20):
In Fort Worth.
Kari (06:21):
Oh, God.
Is that the Gemini show?
Casey (06:23):
The Gemini?
Because it's June.
What is it?
What makes it the Gemini show?
Because it's June.
No, that makes the people wouldbe, there's people, but I don't
think the show has a Zodiac.
That would be cool
Kari (06:36):
though.
They should do a Zodiac show.
If any of y'all are listening,y'all should do a Zodiac show
and let me be a part of it.
We're doing
Casey (06:46):
12 performers.
13.
If you're going off the oldcalendars,
Kari (06:49):
right now, we don't buy by that because it alters my,
Casey (06:54):
it makes me not what I think it
Kari (06:55):
makes me a direct reflection of not how I feel.
So I'm not about that.
What else is
Casey (06:59):
going on?
We are doing have taken uponourselves to, uh, we're actually
introducing a Shabariinstructional, um, So let's
break this down a little bit,Carrie and I have been into
Shibari for the past year and ahalf that we've really dove into
it.
So on one level, we are we'vebeen studying this for a while.
Kari (07:23):
You've been, you dived in, dude, you dived in deep.
You were roping up chairs andeverything.
I can get my hands on like.
He, you would send me this like,video of your leg all wrapped up
in a, and I'm like, O Okay.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
But that's what you do though,is like you learn something and
you dive on like into the deepend with it.
(07:43):
My
Casey (07:43):
neurodivergent self Yeah.
Tends to take a hobby and turnit into an obsession.
Kari (07:48):
Yeah, you went.
It's something I do
Casey (07:50):
and with some hobbies I dive into them deep and then I
recede.
And I give them away and givethem up.
Shabari has been something thatI have taken very close to
heart.
It speaks to me on a very deeplevel.
And I love every single thingabout it.
We have talked with Shabariexperts.
We have from around the world atthis point.
Kari (08:10):
I do think that Shabari has probably been our biggest
guests.
Appearance has been people.
That's been the thing we'vetalked about the most on the
show.
Yeah.
And so,
Casey (08:20):
so we decided to do after this much time of really diving
in.
Well, and
Kari (08:24):
how many people have asked
Casey (08:26):
for it?
Yes.
That's been the other drivingfactor.
The other variable is that we'vehad many people say, Hey, we
don't really have much aboutmuch like that in Fort worth
that's outside of maybe adungeon setting.
Kari (08:38):
Yeah.
Casey (08:38):
Um, do y'all have any plans to maybe instruct a class?
And so we took it upon ourselvesto construct and release An
introductory class for bedroomplay when it comes to Shabari.
So we're going to be hosting ison May 26th of this year.
We're going to be hosting thismonth of this month, right?
(08:59):
We're going to be hosting anintro to Shabari class.
We're going to be going overbasic knots.
Basic frictions.
We're going to be going over,uh, anatomy of rope, anatomy of
the human body.
We're going to be going overconsent.
We're going to be going over
Kari (09:12):
how to be a bottom and what that means and what that
looks like and how to be abottom and
Casey (09:17):
a top.
Kari (09:17):
Yeah.
And how to incorporate into yourbedroom.
Um, because here's the thing,like, yes, you can take Shabari
and go the most extreme versionof that and get into the
suspension and the likesubspace, and that is a whole
other version of what we aretrying to teach for this class.
This is Shabari 101.
And again, you're having adoctor teach you the aspects of
(09:41):
the body and the location of thebody in which you want to tie in
areas that you don't want totie.
Yeah.
Because at the end of the day.
It's about the comfort and thesafety of your bottom.
And so that's why I do feel likethis class is going to be such
an amazing experience if you'retrying to learn, because it is
going to be, we say couples thatjust means more than one.
(10:02):
That doesn't mean you're acouple.
Casey (10:04):
Um, so we, whenever we say couples, we more mean
partners.
Yeah.
Kari (10:07):
If you're
Casey (10:07):
a partner of two of three of four, whatever it is.
We are accepting of monogamous,we're accepting of open poly.
If you have partners, like it'sokay to bring each other.
Kari (10:19):
Yeah.
Basically it's just who wasgoing to be the one tying and
who was going to be the onegetting tied.
And we're going to give you oneor ones where, yeah, but we're
going to give you bothperspectives.
And that's one thing that I feellike I've seen a lot about when
it comes to these differentclasses and the things that they
offer, not always.
(10:39):
Is it on both ends or they mighthyper focus on one side of it
being the rigor, uh, being theone tying and maybe a little
less on the rope bunny or thebottom or whatever phrase that
you prefer to, to be called.
So, um, our tickets areavailable now.
If you go into our Instagrampage there, it's the first, um,
(11:01):
it's the only, it's the onlylink.
So there's no confusion.
You just go on there, you clickon it.
Um, but if for whatever reasonyou're having issues with the
payment, uh, just shoot us amessage.
There are other forms that weare accepting payments when it
comes to the class.
Um, but understand that this isalso going to come with a rope
that then you and whoever youcome to the class with get to
(11:23):
take.
Casey (11:23):
That was exactly what I was about to touch on.
Is that part of your entry?
Is having a rope to take home
Kari (11:29):
pretty much all of their entry because these ropes are
not cheap,
Casey (11:32):
correct?
So everyone will every couplethat attends or every
partnership that all attends,we'll go home with a hank of
rope.
And they'll be able to use,we're going to teach you how to
use it, how to take care of it,all of that kind of stuff, uh,
the different types of rope andwhere it's going to be an
overall fun time.
It's going to be a super
Kari (11:49):
relaxed.
It's going to be fun, likeplanted to come.
And then also meet some of thelike core people that you're
going to want to hang out withlater.
Like we're not just doing thisfor like, eh, whatever, like
we're trying to build acommunity.
And the most that we hear isthat people want that community
built and we are not a hundredpercent finding it.
So fuck it.
We're just going to create it.
(12:11):
Exactly.
So let's masturbate.
And that was a quick jump to thenext topic.
Casey (12:16):
I feel like we said all we need to say about our,
Kari (12:18):
no, we, no, we did.
It's just normal.
We have this like unique segue.
You're just like, that's my
Casey (12:23):
unique segue today.
It was
Kari (12:24):
very unique.
I wonder how much time it tookyou to make up that one.
Casey (12:28):
A while.
Yeah.
I was festering at it.
I was letting that one stew fora little bit.
Kari (12:33):
So it's Masturbation May, and dammit, there's a lot to
talk about when it comes tothat.
Casey (12:37):
There is.
Kari (12:38):
A lot.
We were literally sitting downat lunch earlier and writing
down all these different topicsand all these subjects and
different things to do with likemasturbation around where it
comes to self masturbation orcouples masturbation.
I mean, we really just.
Casey (12:54):
Have been talking about a lot The biggest thing that we
see here is that we went tolunch today and we were talking
about Our episode we havewaitresses walking by us
bartenders walking by us aswe're talking about masturbation
So let's talk about let's startthis off with the reason for
masturbating in the first placeCarrie In your personal reasons
(13:16):
in your personal opinion.
Why do people masturbate?
Kari (13:20):
I mean, can I just say why I masturbate?
Yeah You Okay.
Um, I'm bored.
I can't sleep.
Um, maybe I'm teaching a classcoming up and I got like some
strong nerves masturbate.
Um, I love morning masturbation.
You know, that's why I used tolove when you would go get
(13:41):
coffee.
Casey (13:42):
Go get coffee so I can just run one out real quick.
You
Kari (13:46):
go get coffee.
Yes, sir.
Please.
No, but I mean, but there'shonestly, there's a lot of
reasons to masturbate.
And I mean, those are some of mylike personal ones and I would
say like,
Casey (13:57):
let's break those down a little bit.
Yeah.
What was your first
Kari (13:59):
one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think I say when I can'tsleep, I don't know.
You said boredom.
Okay.
Um, I do have time now where sayI'm off work on a Thursday and I
have the entire day.
Um, a lot of times I do likeplan out what I'm going to do,
but I don't really plan out thetime in between my plans.
Casey (14:20):
So maybe you have like 20, 30 minutes.
Kari (14:23):
Yeah.
And the thing is it's rare.
It's very rare.
Rare that me, I am home bymyself.
It is never fucking happens.
And it's really new within likethis year for me to be home by
myself.
The last, I don't know how 15years I've never had a day by
(14:43):
myself.
So, um, that is something that Itry to like take aside and do,
you know, like it's a treatyourself moment.
Um, and so I can't really say itfully comes out of boredom
because, you I'll be honest.
I'm very rarely ever bored, butit is nice to have that like
self time to please myself, puton something that I want to
(15:07):
watch, put on something that'sgoing to be stimulating for me
and just have my own moment.
Casey (15:11):
Yeah.
Okay.
So we have that boredom factor.
Kari (15:15):
I mean, how often do you masturbate from being bored or
when you're bored?
Oh, I definitely masturbate ifI'm bored.
Casey (15:20):
If I'm at home by myself and I'm like, there's not much
to do.
I've completed my task for theday that I wanted to get done.
And I'm going, I've got like a30 minute window.
Yeah, of course.
I think that boredom is a greatreason to masturbate.
Now I have this like back of myhead feeling that there's people
out there being like, well, waita minute.
Masturbation is not okay to do.
(15:40):
Uh, masturbation is taking awayfrom something in my life or
it's a shameful act.
And we.
Immediately wanted to dispel anyof those myths.
Kari (15:52):
I hope that people don't feel that way anymore.
And I know that they do.
I know that they do.
But damn it.
Like stop it.
Stop it.
Casey (16:00):
Profound thought there.
Kari (16:02):
Well, no, I mean, Damn it, stop it.
You stop it.
But like, Masturbation is a veryhealthy function of life.
And so, and I've heard it.
Again I've heard it from myclients that they're like, Oh,
my husband told me earlier thathe masturbated and I was just
grossed out and offended.
I'm like, what?
(16:23):
It's his body.
Like it's his time.
It's his body.
You're like, you don't get to,you don't get to dictate when
semen comes out of his penis.
That's not your job.
And to feel jealous of what hishand, the
Casey (16:40):
toy
Kari (16:40):
that he
Casey (16:40):
used.
So that's the core of thequestion for me, whenever
someone's like, I don't like itwith my partner masturbates is I
want to say, okay, so like, whatsort of, like, what sort of
reaction do you have to yourpartner masturbating?
Is it because they're feelingpleasure?
That is not.
Directly a result of your, youproviding it.
In which case I do strongly feellike a conversation should be
(17:03):
had because your partner selfpleasuring is just a version of
self love and self support.
Kari (17:10):
I mean, it's like the strongest version of self love.
Casey (17:14):
I feel like that should be encouraged in a relationship
is to be like, look, the morecomfortable you feel in your own
skin and the more you loveyourself, the more you have the
capacity to love me.
Yeah.
And in that instance, if you'reable to sit down and pleasure
yourself and feel closer toyourself and comfortable with
yourself, you're not taking awayfrom our relationship.
(17:36):
adding to yourself, which allowsyou to gain the capacity to care
for me and us.
Our relationship grows, be gojerk off.
So our relationship gets better.
Kari (17:47):
So I come home and you're in a better mood.
Casey (17:50):
Yeah.
I mean, that is a side effect ofmasturbation for sure, but
there's common misconceptionsthat we have with masturbation
where people have been told inthe past, some, all right, I'm
going to lift some of these offand some of me, you're going to
go.
People really still think this.
The sad reality is, yeah, peoplestill think there are some
cultures, white AmericanChristians, that still
(18:14):
perpetuate these myths as ifit's like a real thing, but
there's no evidence to supportthem whatsoever.
So, um, masturbation is notgoing to cause blindness,
headaches, or vision problems.
Kari (18:26):
I wonder who came, I actually, I feel like I remember
the story of who came up withthat.
Kellogg's.
Yep.
Yeah.
Cause they were like, we'regoing to create a cereal.
That's so bland.
Or something like that.
Casey (18:36):
I don't have the, I would have to pull up the actual story
itself, but it was somethingalong the lines of, it was like
almost an anti masturbationcereal and I'm going to have to
look it up.
We're going to keep talkingwhile I look it up.
But what
Kari (18:47):
was the, okay.
I'm going to interrupt you and Ihope it wasn't the next one that
you're going to bring up was theHarry Palms.
Casey (18:52):
I think that might've been the next one.
That one to me is just, I don't
Kari (18:55):
understand that one.
So semen will make you grow hairon your palms.
I remember hearing about that inhigh school and like laughing
about it.
And then Eminem came out withthe song where he talked about
like, Holy shit, hairy palms.
And I was like, Oh my God,that's hilarious.
And I also remember having toexplain that quote to quite a
(19:17):
few people.
And they were like, why the helldid he talk about having hairy
palms?
I'm like, Oh, my palms is toohairy to hide.
Yeah.
My palms are too hairy to hide.
Exactly.
Casey (19:27):
Wait, hold on.
So I pulled up the masturbationone from Kellogg's, uh, in the
young United States, one of theloudest anti masturbation voices
was John Harvey Kellogg, aphysician and devout seventh day
Adventist in Battle Creek,Michigan.
In addition to running thesuccessful surgery practice,
Kellogg edited good health, thechurch's magazine, promoting
Adventist beliefs and healthyliving, such as adopting a
(19:49):
vegetarian lifestyle.
Abstaining from alcohol,tobacco, caffeine, uh, and it
just goes on and on to talkthere.
Let's see, uh, the doctor hadalso come to believe that sex,
including masturbation, wasdetrimental to physical,
emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
He personally abstained from itand never consummated his
marriage.
Wow.
He and his wife kept separatebedrooms and they adopted eight
(20:12):
children and fostered another34.
Holy shit.
Kari (20:16):
She did all of that.
And she didn't get laid.
Fuck that.
Casey (20:20):
I mean, I bet she did.
Kari (20:22):
By the way, all it was saying
Casey (20:24):
was that he never consummated his marriage.
I was saying he abstained.
Like, come on.
No,
Kari (20:32):
this one was adopted.
I totally wasn't pregnant.
Casey (20:36):
Kellogg catalog, 39 different symptoms liable to
affect a chronic masturbator,including general infirmity.
What the fuck is that?
Defective development, moodswings, fickleness, bashfulness,
boldness, bad posture, stiffjoints, fondness for spicy
foods.
That's why I love spicy food.
That
Kari (20:54):
explains everything.
My masturbation
Casey (20:57):
led to my love of spicy food.
Acne, palpitations and epilepsy.
Oh my God.
I'm just, I'm not even going toread any more of this cause this
is killing me.
In other words, this guy was soagainst any sort of pleasure on
the sexual side that he made acereal around it.
Kari (21:15):
I don't know, man, that's weird to me, but
Casey (21:19):
good Lord.
So, uh, what else is it saying?
Masturbation is not going tomake your genitals shrink or
grow.
So we talked about this earlier.
I.
Actually fell for this mythwhenever I was younger.
I thought that if I
Kari (21:30):
hear it, Oh, I don't even remember where I heard it.
Casey (21:33):
But I remember thinking that like, maybe it was the way,
like I, I gripped myself ormyself while I was masturbating.
Is that going to doing that toomuch?
Is that going to make me likesmaller?
Is my penis going to shrink orbecome less in circumference
because I'm doing this, but thatis not factual at all.
Completely unfounded in any sortof thing.
(21:53):
Um, the becoming addictiveportion.
Of things is actually stilldebated today.
And there's this growingmovement, the majority movement
now, which is like.
Sex isn't.
Addictive as a wholemasturbation is not addictive as
a whole.
And the other side of theargument where they say, well,
you're getting a drip ofserotonin or dopamine or
(22:14):
oxytocin is that you're becomingaddicted to the drip of these
chemicals still.
Unfounded because we have manyactivities in our lives, which
allow for those ha in quote,happy chemicals to be provided.
So you're what you're doing atthat point is starting to
Kari (22:32):
scrolling on your phone.
Does it?
Like, it's just silly to think.
Yeah.
Casey (22:36):
So saying that masturbation or sex is addictive
while these other things arenot, but they're producing the
same result is just kind ofsilly.
Kari (22:47):
Yeah.
Casey (22:47):
In my opinion.
Um, it's not going to causeinjury or harm.
It's not going to change thesize of shape of your genitals.
And my favorite one.
It's not going to release storedup sperm or sexual fluids.
There, there's no such thing aslike, uh, like the buildup
stored, you have fighters, youhave toxic masculinity, people
(23:10):
who are like, no, I'm going to,uh, it's semen retention is what
they do.
And semen retention is not athing.
You know what it is?
You know what happens?
It's resorbed.
Semen's produced, and then itgets resorbed if it's not used.
It's not sitting in your ballsack, just waiting like, we're
getting more powerful by beinghere.
(23:30):
We're super, I'm super sanesemen.
That's not a thing to happen.
We'll produce
Kari (23:36):
only boys.
Casey (23:40):
But what masturbation can do for you, um, as a vulva owner
yourself, it can relievemenstrual cramps.
And muscle tension.
Kari (23:47):
It definitely does.
Casey (23:48):
It can be a good source of physical and emotional
relaxation.
So because we have some of thosegood chemical drips after you
have an orgasm, it could relaxyou.
So if you're doing things likethere's a, an examination coming
up, or you're about to travel,or there's something that's
causing you some stress in yourlife, that's on your mind.
Masturbate,
Kari (24:06):
masturbate about it.
Yep.
Casey (24:08):
Say that five times fast.
Kari (24:09):
Masturbate about it.
Masturbate about it.
Masturbate about it.
Not being literal.
Casey (24:13):
Um, it can increase circulation in the body.
Uh, it doesn't say what type ofcirculation, but circulation
nonetheless, it can increase theability, uh, or ease to be
orgasmic.
So you can, this is one thatwe've talked about in the past
is that if you have trouble or,uh, achieving orgasm,
masturbate, like masturbatebefore sex, masturbate during
sex.
Kari (24:33):
If you have trouble getting aroused.
Masturbate beforehand and it'snot, it doesn't mean
masturbating to come.
It could just be edgingyourself, which edging is a
whole other topic that we'regoing to get into in a minute
and we're not quite there yet.
But if you find yourself notfully aroused and then the other
aspect that we're going to talkabout is like being reactive to
pleasure.
And we
Casey (24:52):
can talk about that now.
Okay, go ahead.
Um, one of the big things welook at here is that You have
different types of arousal withthe two main types of arousal we
want to touch on is beingspontaneous at Spontaneous
arousal versus reactive arousalnow for the most part research
shows that males penis ownersare Spontaneous arousal types
(25:15):
that being that we could bewalking down the street and all
of a sudden it's I'm horny Yeah.
Uh, now on the physical side ofthings, it doesn't necessarily
mean it's like I have anerection, but it can just be
like, I have images andfantasies popping in my head.
I'm horny and I'm ready to gonow.
Uh, for the most part, Volvoowners don't experience that
spontaneous arousal.
(25:35):
There are plenty that do, butthere's more that do not.
There are more that areresponsive to just that it's
reactive arousal.
They need to engage in somethingthat causes arousal within the
body.
This can be foreplay.
This can be flirtatious text.
This can be touched, whatever,you know, however you react.
Kari (25:54):
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I mean, then that's a wholeother topic, but like the
communication and what they needfor arousal, But that's
Casey (26:00):
so pertinent to this.
Kari (26:01):
It is, but I mean, yes you're correct.
And I do, I was trying not to goon a tangent cause I'm really
good about that.
But the reason we brought allthat up is because what I was
saying beforehand is yes, youcould be the partner that's
sitting back, touchingthemselves and doing things to
start that arousal.
If it's not as immediate, um,and there's no shame in that.
(26:22):
And it's also on the other side.
I remember when we very firststarted being intimate together,
you were the first guy that evertouched himself while we were
together.
And I was like, um, that's myjob.
Kind of, but just more of like,I more felt like I was doing
something wrong because you werethen touching yourself for
(26:45):
arousal.
And then I was like, no,actually, that's actually hot
for you to be doing that andstumbling yourself and then.
Casey (26:54):
Absolutely.
It was also something that wehad discussed where we
discussed, like you touchingyourself while we're at, while
we're having sex.
And if that was something okayor not, okay.
To which my response is alwayslike, absolutely.
For me, it's like, for me,that's a visual turn on.
It's like, yes, touch yourselfwhile we're together.
That like that just adds to thepleasure and then, but I hadn't
(27:14):
been
Kari (27:14):
with people in the past that they were not okay with
that.
They thought that I wasn't, thatlike I wasn't feeling good and
so I had to like step in and doit myself when that really
wasn't necessarily the case.
Which
Casey (27:25):
is the stem from that large myth that men are told
that it's like, no, you'reresponsible for your partner's
pleasure, which is.
Not factual.
No, we are all responsible forour own team effort.
Exactly.
And especially in the bedroom,it's, it shouldn't be.
I'm going to cause you toorgasm, change your thought
process to, I'm going tofacilitate the context in which
(27:48):
you achieve orgasm.
Yeah.
Not I'm doing it for you, butI'm going to help you get there.
Like that to me is a huge one.
And I always enjoy talking aboutthat because I've talked to a
ton of men who are like, no, I'mgoing to make her come.
Um, Not with that attitude.
You
Kari (28:06):
know how you're not gonna make her come with that
attitude.
Yeah, that's fair Well, I'm theother topic that we kind of like
briefly touched on and then wemoved away Edging let's go into
edging
Casey (28:21):
if you've listened to our show for any length of time
You've probably extensivelyheard of us talk about edging
Yeah, but for those that arestill kind of going like I've
heard about it I kind of knowwhat it is.
How can I engage it at myself?
Edging is building towardsclimax and then backing off
right before climax occurs.
So this can be done, uh,masturbating on a solo level of
just getting yourself reallyclose, which actually can also
(28:44):
be beneficial because it takessome self control to not orgasm.
At that point, you have all thislike arousal going, you have all
these good feeling chemicalsgoing through the bloodstream.
And now you're like, I just wantto come.
But if you stop yourself fromdoing it, it teaches you a
little bit of self controlthere.
So if you can back off fromthat, Um, and then build up and
(29:04):
back off and do that multipletimes.
And as we're saying, edgeyourself, it can lead to some
really cool results, includingan intense, intensified orgasm,
as well as if you're a penisowner, this can actually lead to
becoming, uh, multi orgasmic,which is a bit, which is a big
one that it's like, guys can'tdo that.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can.
(29:26):
Yes, you can.
Kari (29:26):
You can.
It's
Casey (29:27):
not necessarily going to be like the same intensity of
orgasm as maybe like a primaryclimax whenever you actually
ejaculate.
Kari (29:34):
Yeah.
Casey (29:35):
However, you can get through these really amazing
feelings just by edging andwhether that be done by yourself
or a partner.
is unimportant.
It's just that it happened inthe first place.
Kari (29:46):
Yeah.
I mean, you have really exploredinto having more of like
multiple orgasms through edging.
Casey (29:52):
Yeah, it works.
Yeah.
It's something, and that's, Imean, personal experience and
academic readings, it works atyourself and do it a few times.
Kari (30:02):
And honestly, for like the Volvo owners listening, It's
great if you edge and then stopand then edge and then stop.
And then you're almost likethis.
You get to be like the dominatedversion of yourself while being
the bratty version of yourself.
And it's just really fun likegame that you can kind of play.
But I will say when you finallylet yourself come, it's.
(30:25):
Much more intense than just likerubbing one off real quick.
If you have the time, like youhave the time to sit there and
like, take a bath and relax.
You have time to like do yourmakeup regimen or your nightly
routine.
Like why not take the time withyour vulva?
And stretch it out a little bit.
And I will say I'm even guiltyof that.
(30:46):
Like I'll just like
Casey (30:49):
stretch.
Whatever
Kari (30:50):
the time spent with your vulva, not stretching your vulva
out.
And maybe you can, while you'reexploring, but take the time and
stretch it out a little bit.
Yeah.
Just stretch it out as wide asyou can get it.
We can do our own bat.
Look
Casey (31:07):
at my bat wing.
Kari (31:07):
Exactly.
We can do the same damn thing.
I like to call it the
Casey (31:10):
flying squirrel.
Then like a sugar glider.
Kari (31:13):
Yeah.
Like a sugar glider.
Give them the old sugar glider.
But edging isn't just to likeintensify orgasm.
It's also again, about takingthat time for yourself to
yourself, to feel yourself, toplease yourself.
Like do it.
Casey (31:27):
I quote you on that one.
Kari (31:28):
You can, if you want.
Casey (31:30):
Oh my gosh.
So then let's talk about likeplaces to masturbate
Kari (31:35):
on the
Casey (31:36):
where's your favorite place to masturbate?
Kari (31:39):
Um, I would say i'm probably just like the bed just
because that is easier like Wedon't really have a detachable
shower head.
So that thing doesn't reallywork.
Um I know that a lot of womenlove to masquerade in the
shower.
Me personally, um, it's harderfor me to masturbate standing
(32:01):
up.
Uh, I think it's just how myvagina is shaped.
It's a little bit moredifficult.
I get a lot more sensation ifI'm laying back versus standing.
Casey (32:10):
Um, but I know
Kari (32:11):
a lot of women
Casey (32:12):
contribute that in many ways to being like, you're off
your feet.
You're not having to work ashard to not only like stand up
and your muscles are less activeSo you're allowed time to just
relax everything
Kari (32:24):
Yeah,
Casey (32:24):
because part of the primary thing that facilitates
orgasm during masturbation isthe ability to relax How relaxed
are you?
Have you created an environmentwhere you're relaxed?
Are you in a location whereyou're relaxed?
Are you in an area where youdon't have to worry about
outside factors such as maybethe environment?
Children or roommates orpartners that are just going to
walk in the door.
(32:44):
Have you created the context inwhich you can masturbate
comfortably?
Kari (32:49):
Yeah.
Okay.
What
Casey (32:51):
about you?
My favorite.
I mean, standing up.
Kari (32:54):
Yeah.
You're a stand in comer.
Yeah.
Honestly,
Casey (32:59):
like now that I think of it, I'm like, yeah, I like to
receive lying down.
Yeah, I like to receive oral.
But if I'm going to masturbate,yeah, standing up, I would say,
I've never seen all my
Kari (33:10):
videos.
I've been you standing.
So that makes sense.
Casey (33:13):
Well, that's just for camera angles.
Let's try to get a few things inthe picture and try to be more
of like
Kari (33:17):
one.
Um, so I also want to talk aboutbeing stoned and masturbating.
Casey (33:25):
Um, okay.
Kari (33:28):
Have you been stoned and masturbated before?
I mean, you've been stoned andgot head a lot.
But have you been stoned andmasturbated before?
Casey (33:35):
I don't know.
I'd have to look back, butprobably.
Kari (33:37):
You'd have to look back at what?
Your masturbating journal?
I
Casey (33:40):
got like a spank bank.
Kari (33:41):
Oh, is that what it is?
I swear to God.
Um, as often as I will say Ismoke, I don't think that I
masturbate when I smoke.
Like smoking and then you goingin and having pleasure and all
that.
That's like one of my absolutefavorites are doing that.
And even going down on you andlike doing something oral.
(34:02):
That's one of my favorites.
Um, but I don't think that I'vereally explored stoned
masturbation, but it was one ofthe top ones on our list.
And it makes sense because we'vereally talked about like getting
in that head space and relaxingand calming down and not, and
because I feel like some peoplecan overthink the concept of
masturbating.
Um, But you're not going to dothat if you're stoned, I
(34:22):
promise.
I guarantee it.
Casey (34:26):
I don't know.
You have some paranoid asspeople out there.
Right.
What was that noise?
Somebody's going to barge in anysecond, I can feel it, but it
goes back to creating thecontext.
Like, where are you at?
Are you relaxed?
Are you comfortable?
Um, what are some suggestions wecan give to people to create
that relaxed environment?
Obviously you're like, Hey, youknow, get a little stoned.
(34:46):
Can help.
That'd be a great
Kari (34:47):
way.
If that helps you relax.
Set the mood
Casey (34:49):
with lighting.
Yeah.
Uh, light some candles.
Make it dark, like whatever youneed that makes you feel
comfortable.
So think about times whereyou're relaxing.
So if you're somebody that takesbaths, what is it?
What is the environment that youset up whenever you do that?
Is it something where you havelike bubble bath and candles and
music and all that do everysingle bit of those things and
(35:11):
start to explore?
Kari (35:11):
Shit, get yourself some waterproof, like toys.
Casey (35:16):
Yeah.
Kari (35:17):
Masturbating in the bathtub.
Casey (35:19):
Got plenty of those.
Our favorite.
There's so many waterproof.
You can even go to glass, whichis always our go to.
That's why I got one of ourfavorite ones.
Glass
Kari (35:25):
is a lot of fun in the tub.
Casey (35:26):
Heat it up, cool it down.
Use it in the tub.
There's plenty of room.
Glass is a lot
Kari (35:30):
of fun.
But there's a lot of waterproofvibrators and, pardon me, and
different things like that youcan also use.
But again, it's just about likecreating the space, giving
yourself the time, relaxing, andexploring.
There was a lot that I learnedabout my own vulva when I really
got into masturbating becausethat really wasn't something
(35:52):
that I aggressively did.
Did until honestly, I got older,like
Casey (35:57):
you felt okay to do it,
Kari (35:59):
I guess.
So, yeah, because there was alot of shame growing up, like
within my household, it wasdefinitely, I mean, they, my, no
one talked to me aboutmasturbating, absolutely no one.
Cause girls don't masturbate.
That is how it was thought in myhousehold.
And so if the boys, my two olderbrothers masturbated, it was
(36:19):
like, ugh, Uh, why are you doingthat?
Oh my God.
And it was just like this likeodd negative mindset around it
that I was like, okay, I'm noteven spoken to about it.
And when it's spoken about them,it's insanely negative.
I'm pretty sure I'm not allowedto masturbate.
Like I can guarantee it.
(36:40):
I'm not allowed.
Um, but it's just, that's one ofthe reasons that we really
wanted to have this, like divinginto this month and what it
means.
Because.
You would be surprised knowingpeople that in this day and age
still don't masturbate.
(37:01):
Don't feel comfortable doing it.
Don't feel comfortable touchingthemselves.
Don't feel comfortable withtheir partners touching
themselves.
And it's just something thatwe're really, we got to break
that mold.
Like we are, this is not goingto be our only episode.
Talking about masturbation.
It's not.
We have more to discuss andwe're already running out of
time.
We have so much more that I wantto discuss on as far as it comes
(37:23):
with like masturbation and thedifferent toys.
Like, we actually just went tothe sex shop right by our house.
Oh let's dive into that.
You want to go dig into that oneand then that'll be like our
last topic.
Yeah.
Casey (37:33):
You've listened to any one of our episodes about self
pleasure.
You've noticed that one of thebiggest complaints we've had.
Is the lack of discussion aroundmale toys and then the lack of
availability about male toys.
But you know what?
That fucking change, likeperspective altered paradigm
(37:55):
shifted because we've been
Kari (37:57):
going into sex toys for the last 10 years of our
relationship, probably more.
And the lack of malemasturbators was strong.
You got a fleshlight at best.
Casey (38:10):
Yeah.
You had like these small littlesleeves.
Maybe a little vibrating thing,
Kari (38:14):
but I mean and then you had to manually do it
Casey (38:17):
Yeah,
Kari (38:17):
you had to do all by yourself Where we have vibrators
that we just slap it on ourfucking clit and call it a day
like you don't get to do thatand then we have glass and we
have things that like Suctioncup or clit up and down.
And then we have like the rabbitthat goes inside and we just
press a button
Casey (38:35):
and it moves and vibrates and it vibrates,
Kari (38:38):
stimulates a clit.
Like it does all of thesethings.
And trust me, we're very happywith the toys that we have
Casey (38:43):
and penis hunters have not traditionally had.
A lot of options.
So we went and we talked withone of the sales rep at velvet
box, which is one of ourfavorite DFW, uh, adult novelty
shops.
And we asked them, we're like,Hey, what are some of the newer
things that have come out of theend of the market in the last
couple of years that have reallybeen geared towards males and
(39:06):
they did not disappoint.
Kari (39:08):
No, it was really cute.
It was like, she was excited tohear that because it was
probably outside the norm aswell than what they're like used
to getting.
But she walked us over to thisglass case and.
It was about six different toys.
I had never seen before.
I've never seen these at leastsix, at least.
(39:30):
And they're these like biggermechanical looking like gadgets,
but the ability to likepersonalize it to what your
wants are.
Yeah, well,
Casey (39:41):
that was a big, one of the biggest ones she showed us,
and we're not going to go intonames.
Because we'll do that a lot oflater time, but there was one of
the brands was a, it took astroker kind of like a
flashlight, but made it morecompact and then put it into
this little, uh, housing thatwill allow you to control the
depth of the stroke.
So how far it goes down, um, aswell as adding like speed, as
(40:05):
well as adding vibrations.
And all sorts of stuff.
Uh, so that was one of the bigones.
There was another one that wasmanual, but you could change the
insides.
That was cool.
Create a pattern that you liked.
And as well as there was abutton on the side that you
could compress to create moresection for it.
Uh, there was other ones thatwere just different textures,
(40:27):
different like clarity.
So some of them were completelysee through because and as
Kari (40:31):
you, you brought up, they have like the flesh lights where
you can like model it after aporn star that you like, they
had the exact same concept.
So you could get differentattachments that were to the
porn stars, vagina shape ormold.
And that's one that we've
Casey (40:45):
like stared away from in the past, because we're kind of
like.
Like, do you really, if you'reinto it and you're like, I'm
going to get the pro model forthis person, that's fine.
Kari (40:54):
Yeah.
Be into it.
That's what it's there for.
Casey (40:56):
Go for it.
I'm not going to yuck your yum.
But what I'm going to do issuggest that like, maybe go for,
I don't know, the pattern insidethat feels good over what it
looks like on the outside.
How does it feel?
Go with that.
Unless you just have
Kari (41:08):
an amazing imagination and you were just fucking that girl,
like in your head, and you gotit, then yeah, 100 percent go
for it, but.
Casey (41:15):
And so many of these toys now are not only Bluetooth
enabled, meaning that you cancontrol them from your phone.
Your partner can control themfrom their phone.
You can do it long distance.
Kari (41:24):
Well, there was one toy that was like a girl toy and a
guy toy, and then they couldlink together.
Casey (41:28):
Absolutely.
They have plenty of those atthis point.
Kari (41:31):
Yeah.
Casey (41:31):
Uh, but they also make them now to where they, you can
actually watch something calledinteractive porn, in which case,
if you're watching an adult filmand it's able to, it syncs up
with the film.
So now the thing that you havematches what's going on screen.
Kari (41:48):
Could you imagine if it like the girl like pulled out
and like spit on his dick andthe thing like pulled out and
spit on him?
That would be a whole new level.
You're going a
Casey (42:02):
little too futuristic at this point.
Kari (42:05):
Hey, give it a few more years.
I'm counting on it.
It's going to be full.
Hey, if that little shake wakething could,
Casey (42:12):
Spray
Kari (42:12):
water on you
Casey (42:14):
And dispense cab fare,
Kari (42:16):
shutting down.
If y'all don't know what we'retalking about, it's a South park
reference.
And so
Casey (42:22):
whenever shake weight came out, yeah, anyway.
It's in terms of masturbation,this is, we're going to have a
continuing conversation on this.
What we want is we want to hearfrom you.
So if you would, as soon asyou're ready to shoot us an
email, um, I believe it's askit, come with Casey.
com.
Uh, you can shoot us a DM onInstagram, CW, underscore
(42:42):
official.
Respond to any of our stories,tag us in one of yours on
anything.
I
Kari (42:48):
want to hear like first masturbation stories.
That's what I want to hear.
Like, and you know what?
The next episode, I'll share myvery first masturbation story.
I'll share mine as well.
Okay.
I love that.
Again, this is may, this ismasturbation main.
We are not done talking aboutthe subject.
We have so much more that wewant to touch on.
Um, I mean, when, I mean, I havea whole ass list of stuff and I
was literally looking up at thetime and I was like, I cannot
(43:09):
believe.
How far we've gotten and there'sstill so much more to touch on.
Casey (43:14):
So for another episode of come with Casey, we are your
hosts.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders
Kari (43:19):
and I'm Carrie Sanders.
And
Casey (43:20):
we'll see y'all next time.
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