Would You Rather...

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Moving on in KINKtober! 

We're talking would you rather....kink edition as well as our upcoming activities! 

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Episode Transcript

casey (00:00):
We're just a couple of continuously kinky kids, aren't

(00:02):
we?

kari (00:04):
Yeah.
That took me a minute, but yeah,I like that.
We, well, we are though.
And, and I, I

casey (00:10):
worked on it all night.
I was up late writing it out.
Just that little, yeah, thattiny, that tiny little thing.
Sentence wasn't off the top ofmy head at all.
I'm

kari (00:17):
so proud of you.

casey (00:21):
Oh, good afternoon everybody.
It's us, Dr.
Casey.

kari (00:25):
And Carrie.
Carrie.
Carrie.
Carrie?
Yes.
I'm here.
Here with just Carrie,

casey (00:30):
here with Tobe named podcast.
As we go through our rebranding,

kari (00:34):
we're, we're still working on a rebranding.

casey (00:36):
Yes.

kari (00:37):
But we've been working with this really kick ass chick.
We call the Madison from Dallas,Madison from Dallas.
If you are not following Madisonfrom Dallas yet, you should pull
out your Instagram and, and pullher up and give her a follow.

casey (00:50):
She's a great.
She's a great concertphotographer.
She goes to festivals, shows.
She did chaperone was, I wasn'tone of the recent ones that she
worked with.

kari (00:58):
That other carpenter chick that everyone's yeah, whatever,
whoever

casey (01:02):
that is.
That's

kari (01:03):
cool.
Yeah.
She had some shoots with her aswell.
Nice.

casey (01:06):
She, she goes around to a lot of concerts and take some
amazing photos from, from likeright up front for a lot of
these artists.
It's really cool.

kari (01:13):
She lives a life that I would have led had I not gotten
pregnant at 19.
I'm just going to throw that outthere.

casey (01:21):
You would have done photography.

kari (01:22):
I would have done.
I would have done something.
I would have.
I would have been big.
Oh, I would have been huge.
Would have been children arejust a nuisance.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, I'm just kidding.
We love

casey (01:36):
our kids, but fuck them.
No,

kari (01:37):
I just, I feel like I see people that are like living a
life that I know that I couldlive had.
I not had children, but it'sfine.
I love them.

casey (01:52):
No, we've developed a good life.

kari (01:54):
No, we have.
And and even with being able todo this, like we have an
opportunity to talk to peopleand, and, and reach to people
that are us.
We are not the people that gotto go and gallivant along town
and take pictures of popularsingers.
That was not our life, but our

casey (02:10):
20s,

kari (02:10):
but our podcast is not for them.
Technically.

casey (02:14):
No, our podcast is for a much different audience.

kari (02:16):
Our podcast is for sometimes people like us that.
Are maybe aggressively into thekink or maybe curious

casey (02:25):
about the kink is for anybody in a relationship that's
looking how to better it, that'slooking how to improve it
through various avenues arechosen Avenue that we're
introducing everybody to is thatAvenue of their sexuality.
How can I improve myrelationship through my
sexuality?
Why do I need to improve myrelationship through my
sexuality?

(02:45):
And we know we already have aconcrete reason for that one is
because there are factuallybetter relationship outcomes
when your sex life is on point.

kari (02:55):
Yeah.
It has to be,

casey (02:56):
it kills me to have people that out there that are
like, Oh, sex really isn't thebiggest deal in your
relationship.
And it may not be the.
Biggest deal in yourrelationship, but it fucking
certainly is in the top three aswe

kari (03:06):
say, it should be top three.
It

casey (03:08):
needs to be at best and that's not something that's just
an Opinion that's out there.
That's something that where i'mlike this is this is back This
is we we have plenty of evidenceout there that we can say look
People that have good sex andare explorative and that really
communicate about it have betterrelationship outcomes So what is

(03:29):
the thing that you need to do?
Be introduced to all that stuff.
How do you get introduced to allthat stuff?
Hi,

kari (03:35):
hi.
We are, we are.
And so not only are we like,yes, we're working to rebrand
and we're working with somereally kick ass people along the
way, like the word come, we getit.
A lot of people don't like theword come.
It's offensive, and

casey (03:49):
that's fine.
I said we should be cut withCasey.

kari (03:51):
That's even more offensive, babe.
You're not helping our causehere.
Even that right there.
We have to bleep out when itcomes to the stop it.

casey (04:00):
Oh,

kari (04:00):
and I'm the brat.
I'm going to make it.
I'm the Brad making a

casey (04:05):
clip out of this.
It just bleeps out every time I

kari (04:08):
say can you do like side, like asterix I'd roll.
I roll, I roll.

casey (04:14):
Absolutely.
Yes.
Uh, like Carrie said, we areworking with, through rebranding
with Madison.
She's a fantastic girl.
She, Has been doing so much, uh,I'm in her photography business
and helping us out with ourrebranding.
If you haven't gotten given hera follow Madison from Dallas,
check her out.
And we hope to see her at one ofour upcoming events too.

kari (04:34):
Oh, she will.

casey (04:35):
Cause we've got a couple of them to talk about.
She

kari (04:36):
likes me.

casey (04:38):
Oh, yeah,

kari (04:38):
she likes me good.
So she will, she will her andher friends.
No, but actually some of theevents that we have coming up
that they said that they'regoing to come to where our
Shabari events that we have, we

casey (04:49):
have, and those are fast approaching.
We've got this.
Oh my God.
I can't believe it's Tuesday.
Yeah.
A couple of days.
Yeah.
We've got.
Tomorrow.
Oh my God.
Tomorrow.
Oh

kari (04:58):
my God.
Tomorrow.

casey (05:01):
We teach Shabari one on one classes.
One of the things that Carrieand I have found in the kink
world that has brought us closertogether and allowed us to have
this like deepened level ofintimacy, both sexually and non
sexually has been through thisbeautiful aesthetic of Japanese
rope bondage, otherwise known asShabari.
We started that journey a coupleof years ago, uh, that caused us

(05:23):
to bring people onto our show totalk about it.
Uh, experience the journey andour own devices as we grew.
And I'm self tying and sendingCarrie pictures about all the
cool stuff I'm learning and thenincorporating her into that
tying and her learning aboutbottoming and going through all
this stuff.

kari (05:40):
Well, because that's the thing that's so beautiful about
what we do is we find a topic.
We find the best people to talkabout said topic.
Then we bring that topic to youto figure out if it's something
that you're interested in.
And if you are, and this doesn'teven mean like Shibari
exclusive, but like that's thewhole point of our fucking show.

(06:00):
Is to bring you information thatyou would have not have known
before, bring in guests andeducate you on all aspects of
it.
I will say though, like Shabariended up being our like biggest
kink.

casey (06:14):
Yeah, we brought it in as a way to talk to people.
Yeah,

kari (06:16):
exactly.
First I was like, this is greatinformation.
I love this.
And then it slowly evolved intobeing like part of our weekly.

casey (06:24):
Yeah.
Routine.
A few times a week where I'mtying you up and we're taking
pictures and we're exploring newties and new levels of intimacy
and we're having playful tiesand technical ties and practice
sessions and we're trying todevelop shows and do, it's just
taken over and I love it.
I do too.
I'm here for every fuckingsecond of it.
It's something we get to dotogether.

kari (06:44):
And, and as a partner to you, this was something that you
were interested in and it wassomething that I knew nothing
about.
But what I love about ourdynamic is you can bring
something to me and not to likeboast on myself, but like I'm
like, okay.
What do we need to do to dothis?
What do I need to do to be ableto execute this for you?
But it goes both ways.

(07:04):
How

casey (07:04):
can I be a good girl?

kari (07:05):
I mean, baby, stop.
Don't do that.
But also, but it goes both ways.
There have been times that Ihave introduced a kink to you.
And yes, I was like.
More bringing it to the table,but your acceptance has always
been appreciated.

casey (07:23):
Yeah.
It's one of our, one of the corevalues of, of our relationship.
And this is, clearly it'ssomething we feel every
relationship should have.
One of our core values is tocreate an environment.
Uh, that is nonjudgmental.
We aim to foster an environmentwithin our household that allows
us to feel comfortable andtalking about our interests and

(07:44):
not feel as if we're going to betold we're weird, we're gross,
we're disgusting, what the fuckare you thinking?
We're, we're trying to avoid allof that.

kari (07:52):
Which.
Responding to your partner withthat's weird is probably 1 of
the worst things that you cansay.

casey (08:00):
Yeah, that's something we went over in our last episode.

kari (08:03):
Yes, but this is King Tober.
So this is what we're doing andthis is where we're at.
So pardon me if I repeat myselfa bit.
But I just want to like boastagain that like, I've never
brought something to you and youuse those words because that
would be like detrimental to me.

casey (08:20):
Oh, I know it.
No,

kari (08:25):
I'm sorry.
Just hear our fricking cat, likemeowing in the background.
It's very distracting.
But anyways, so yes, we have ourShibari classes that are coming
up, but we're not going to stophaving these classes.
Like we will continue to dothat.
To bring entry level and thenwe're going to have different
stages of it.
So if you've been to our entrylevel, then that gets you access
to like our level two, whichlevel two is going to be almost

(08:49):
immediately more extreme.
If not extreme.
That's not the right word.

casey (08:54):
That's not the right

kari (08:54):
word.
It's just the entry level isentry level, but you have to
have entry level before you canmove on to the next.
But what we promise is when yougo through our levels of
classes, you're not going to goto entry level two and then be
like, This is just a repeat ofone that is not what it is going
to feel like

casey (09:11):
it's going to use some of the things you've learned from
the first so you can build onthat and grow in your, in your
art,

kari (09:17):
in

casey (09:17):
your art, in your art anyway.
Yeah, we have that one coming upat Shibari studios.
That's actually tomorrow night.

kari (09:25):
I know.

casey (09:26):
So by the time you hear this episode.

kari (09:28):
You

casey (09:32):
can go to shabari studios.
com and make sure to followshabari studios as well as
shabari supply official to getmore information on these kinds
of events that we're partneringwith them.
The other one is in November.
November 15th.
It's a Friday night.
Uh, when we're partnering withWildflower Intimates, Grace over
at Wildflower Intimates, thebest bra fitting shop in all the

(09:53):
land.

kari (09:54):
Well, at least in Magnolia and Texas, let's say at least in
Texas of the land, of the land.
Okay.
Yep.
Of the land.

casey (10:03):
And Grace there is a, is a genius.
Like she does.
I love grace.
She's put together an amazingshop with really cool stuff.
All sorts of bras.
I have a robe that I want thatyou won't shut up about.
I'll talk about almost everyday.

kari (10:17):
Every single day.
He tells me about this silk row.
What was on it?
Cranes, peacocks,

casey (10:22):
peacock.
It is this like, it was the mostbeautiful

kari (10:25):
robe I've ever seen.
Tech and cream

casey (10:27):
colored.
So I saw, I believe it's silkrobe.
That was covered in peacocks andI want it flowing off of my body

kari (10:35):
and

casey (10:38):
like, that's what I want.
I want this.

kari (10:39):
You came into the bedroom last night wearing a robe, a

casey (10:42):
robe,

kari (10:43):
my robe, but I'm not going to lie.
And I was like, okay, eitherhe's doing this for me to just
like, see his junk and I lovehim for it.
Or like, is he trying to get meto be like, damn, he does look
good in a robe and I need to gobuy him that we're

casey (10:57):
thinking about five layers too deep.
There was.
That was what was in reach.
I took a shower.
I took a shower.
I went, Oh, close.

kari (11:05):
I've just never seen you put on one of my robes before.

casey (11:08):
It was a little tight.

kari (11:10):
It was a little tight, a little

casey (11:11):
tight fitting, but at the same time, you

kari (11:13):
were full frontal the whole night after that.

casey (11:16):
We're watching a movie on the couch.
I'm sitting on my leg up.

kari (11:18):
Isn't it comfortable though?
Just to have your self.
That's one of the reasons I needthis robe.
Listen, Grace, if you're hearingthis, would you please help me
out?
Cause he wants that damn robe sobad.
She means by

casey (11:31):
setting it

kari (11:32):
aside

casey (11:32):
and

kari (11:32):
putting her name on it.
That's exactly what I mean.
Setting aside for me.

casey (11:36):
But yes, uh, Grace's place has all sorts of cool, uh,
there's bras, there's lingerie.
They have, I'm going to, I don'twant to butcher the names on
this, but, uh, they're, they'remade.
They're made for the transcommunity so you can use it to
to cover up a little bit or to

kari (11:52):
well they have like, they have male boxers, they have male
lingerie, which I just feellike, I

casey (11:57):
don't mean those, those are all great, but I cannot
think of the fucking name offthe top of my head.
But they're specifically like,they're like gender affirming
underwear.

kari (12:06):
I know what you're talking about because they, they make
the, so everyone understands thetriangle that goes in a woman's
underwear.
This triangle is much wider.
So it allows you to either bemore covered.
So there's a girl that we knowthat shops with Wildflower
Intimates.
And she does a lot of Shabariwork.
She loves the fact that thetriangle in the lingerie is much

(12:29):
wider and thicker.
So when she does stage Shabariwork, she doesn't have to worry
about a slip or, something beingexposed and has a bottom.
I will tell you, we get reallynervous about our extremities
being exposed when we don't meanthem to be.

casey (12:47):
Yes.
She also has those.

kari (12:49):
She does.
She has a lot.
I'm sorry.
Which one are you referring tothen?
Because she has a lot of stuff.
Oh my God.

casey (12:58):
This is, it's literally, it's literally put in the show

kari (13:01):
notes.
It's

casey (13:01):
literally like their gender affirming.
It's made specifically for thetrans community.
Yes.
And there's gender affirmingunderwear.
Yes.
It's one of the only places inFort Worth that you can actually
get it.

kari (13:11):
And I love that for them.
Yeah.

casey (13:13):
I wasn't talking about anything else other than that.
See what

kari (13:16):
he doesn't know is we're talking about the same damn
thing.
It's just, she told me thatsomeone suggested it for also
Shabari work.
We're talking about the samedamn thing.
Either way, you know what you'regoing to do?
You're going to go to WildflowerIntimates and you're going to
talk to Grace and not us becausewe are not the S perks.
Clearly.
What did I just say?

(13:38):
Did I say experts or

casey (13:39):
that was

kari (13:42):
weird.
So yes,

casey (13:45):
yes, that's our, our November

kari (13:48):
class.

casey (13:49):
So we've got all the things.
And then between all that, we'retaking a vacation for the first
time in years.
It feels like we work hard.

kari (13:57):
We work, we do, we work really hard.
We, we have two differentbusinesses and then our podcast
business.
And then we have two kids, wehave one that's like a
rebellious child and they have,we have one that's like in band
and like structured and there'sso much we have to do for both
and totally different ways.
And so it's extremely rare thatyou and I get to just fuck off
and do something for us.

casey (14:18):
Most of the trips that we've taken in the past, if they
weren't family oriented, Thenthey've been business oriented.
We're going to seminars andsitting for weekends during the
day.
And then we learned

kari (14:28):
so much from those and they

casey (14:30):
were in great places.
We've done like Vegas and Miamiand Indianapolis, Boston,
California

kari (14:35):
and Florida.

casey (14:37):
We've been all over the place, but all of them typically
are for us to sit in seminarsduring the day and then go out
at night.
So they haven't been forvacation purposes.
We haven't gone on a vacationsince like our honeymoon,

kari (14:50):
which kind of a decade ago.
Yeah.
Well, no, we ended up going, butit was still after COVID and it
was so close to COVID times thatwe had to we had to wear a mask
and there were restrictions andnot all part of the resorts were
open and it just, it really cutaway from it being like.
The experience that we thoughtwe were going to get, there was
some deadly al, uh, algae thatwas on the fucking ocean and we

(15:15):
couldn't even go in the water.
I'm like, so even

casey (15:18):
go onto the beach, we

kari (15:18):
spend all this money for this beautiful beach.
And we had to just like look atit from a distance.
Yeah.
It sucked.

casey (15:25):
Great resort.
Just a beautiful resort.
Timing was shitty timing.
So it's been a couple of years.
I thought it was a lot longerthan that, but I had forgotten
that we like got married.
And then it was a few yearsafter that, that we were
actually able to take ahoneymoon.
And that was like right amidstCOVID.
So now we're taking a do fuckingnothing vacation for a few days.

(15:48):
So we'll be in Mexico.
Uh, over the weekend, we'll berecording plenty of content for
you guys.
I think we're going to do anepisode actually.
Yeah, we're there.

kari (15:55):
Yeah.
We're planning on doing anepisode while we're there.
We're planning on doing a bunchof Jabari stuff while we're
there.
My

casey (16:00):
suggestion.
So the place we're staying at,we have a pool, like a two story
suite and the second floor has apool.
And so I'm going to have us clipon some mics and we're just
going to do an episode in thepool.

kari (16:10):
I love that.

casey (16:11):
Can we do it like live?
We

kari (16:13):
should do a live of you doing a tie on me, like above
our like balcony with this, likewhole view.
Yeah, we can do that.
That'd be fun.
That'd be really fun.
So if you want to see our stuffthough, you should go and follow
our personal accounts.
I am Carrie, I think I'm, I'mCarrie K A R I underscore
Knievel and I'm going to beposting all about the, or all

(16:35):
about the, the vacation and.
Do you want to give yourpersonal Instagram or is that
just me?

casey (16:40):
No, that's fine.
I'm dr.
Casey sanders Everybody knowsit's so

kari (16:43):
generic and simple and I love it.

casey (16:45):
That's all you need to know.
Dr.
Casey sanders.
There's a period after

kari (16:50):
Ah, well, that makes sense.
There should be a period

casey (16:52):
after the doctor,

kari (16:52):
but

casey (16:54):
that's me You can see a lot of shibari work on there and
that's about it for now

kari (16:57):
Yeah, I was like you're you're only as active as when I
add you as a collaborator.

casey (17:02):
It's hard because you're so active You're so active That
yours is so active.
Like it's, it's for the both ofus.
I'm not, I feel like I don'thave to be active because you're
so active.

kari (17:11):
I am active through about six different Instagram accounts
right now.
Exactly.
And I run six differentInstagram pages right now.
I'm sweating because of all thework you're doing.
Yeah, I bet.
So if you want your Instagram,you want your Instagram account
works on, shoot me a messagebecause I am so goddamn good at

(17:31):
this stuff.

casey (17:31):
You're starting a business right now.

kari (17:33):
Right freaking now.

casey (17:36):
See, as we said, when we started the show, a couple of
Kiki kids, Carrie's kink isoverworking herself.

kari (17:42):
That might actually be no downtime,

casey (17:45):
but let's, let's get into our topic.
We have kinktober that we're inthe midst of, we're in the,
like, I just really

kari (17:52):
want to like ride that.
Right in the

casey (17:54):
smack dab middle of it.
Right.
And so we want to talk a littlebit more about kink and we
thought like, Oh, you want toplay our game now or later?

kari (18:03):
I think we should play it now because then it would give
us, it could give us like funthings to talk about after.
So what the game is, is we allhave heard it.
It's a, would you rather, butit's, would you rather kink
edition?
So I feel like what we should dois like pass it back and forth
and we'll just scroll down.
Cause I want to ask you just asmuch as you want to ask me.

(18:24):
But I also feel like this is areally good game to play with
one of your partners to like sitdown and to figure out your own
kinks because we're not like,you don't like wake up one day
and be like, this is a kink Iwant to do.
You randomly hear it or you seeit or it's introduced to you in
different ways.
Let this be a way that it'sintroduced to you, by playing a

(18:45):
game with your partner orpartners.

casey (18:48):
Okay.

kari (18:48):
Yeah.
Don't say okay like that.
I'm

casey (18:51):
listening.

kari (18:51):
I hear you.
I hear you're okay.

casey (18:55):
You don't.

kari (18:57):
All right.
Go.
I'm waiting.

casey (19:01):
All right.
Okay.
We'll start off simple.
Okay.
I say simple, but yeah, that'srelative.
Would you rather be silencedwith a ball gag or spanked with
a paddle?
Oh,

kari (19:12):
I would say spanked with a paddle.

casey (19:14):
Personal preference.
Got it.
Impact play.
Love it.
Yeah, I love impact.
Tell me more.

kari (19:19):
I love the anticipation of it.
I love the not knowing exactlywhen it's going to like happen.
Like, you're going to be getspanked, but you there's a level
of when, it's about to happen towhen it does.
That's like very erotic.

casey (19:32):
Patient.

kari (19:33):
Nothing.
Go ahead.
Being patient.
What?

casey (19:38):
Nothing.
They'll get it.

kari (19:39):
Oh,

casey (19:41):
I said it earlier.
I said, Antissa, how did you notpick up on that?

kari (19:47):
Not even once.
Have I picked up on that?
That's really funny.
Okay.
You answered the questionthough.

casey (19:52):
Ooh, this one's rough because I am not particularly
into impact play for myself.
I also have a very shallow gagreflex.

kari (20:00):
It's just a ball right outside your teeth.
Uh

casey (20:03):
huh.

kari (20:04):
It doesn't go pass out.
I would say,

casey (20:06):
I would say ball gag.

kari (20:07):
Yeah, it's like, it doesn't move.
Especially if you have itstrapped on around the back of
your head.
Like it, it's so locked up tothe front of your teeth that you
don't.
My jaw would

casey (20:16):
start hurting though.

kari (20:17):
Your jaw definitely starts hurting.

casey (20:20):
And then who's, who am I experiencing impact play with?
Is it with you?
Or is it with like some like.
Seven foot tall, big burlyGerman guy.

kari (20:28):
Is that who you want it to be with?
No,

casey (20:29):
but that's what goes into my head.
Whenever I picture this thing,like impact play, I'm like, I
need somebody that's gonna bebigger than I am.

kari (20:36):
You don't, you couldn't be hit by me.

casey (20:38):
I probably could.
I think that would be like,that's okay.

kari (20:40):
I'm not, I'd love to slap you across the face.

casey (20:43):
What does that have to do with this?

kari (20:45):
It's impact impact on your face.
Straight for

casey (20:48):
the face.
I did not even like, Oh, we'regoing to use some paddles and
maybe like, Hey, some whips oranything.
It's no, I'm going to fivefinger palm.
It's a

kari (20:57):
four.
It's a four.
I don't five.
I only ever do four.
And the ladies love the floorright at the top of the cheek.
And so I just like to experimentthat with you.
Maybe you really like it, but inthe past with people that we've
been with, they like the slaps.
I might want to try.
Not right now.
Why not?
You're going to let me slap youon camera.

casey (21:17):
Oh yeah.
It's on camera.
I've got my microphone righthere.

kari (21:20):
You're going to let me slap you right now.

casey (21:22):
Yeah.

kari (21:22):
Can we have video of this?

casey (21:24):
What are you looking at?
What?
I want more proof.

kari (21:27):
Okay.
This mic stand will not stand.
Stand up.
So I'm just going to move it outof the way for a second and I'm
going to smack you.
You better move your mic.
This is

casey (21:37):
how, uh, what level are we trying to go here?

kari (21:40):
Like a, like a three.

casey (21:41):
Then why are you doing so much buildup?

kari (21:44):
So a six?

casey (21:44):
No, that's not what that man.
This is

kari (21:48):
called negotiations.
That's not

casey (21:50):
a negotiation.
Don't pay attention to that.

kari (21:52):
I'm just being a shithead.
All right.
You ready?

casey (21:55):
Well, yeah, hold on.
Let me get my mic close enoughso you can, I went in like,

kari (22:00):
How do we do this?
I'm doing this

casey (22:02):
like I'm in a recording booth.
But that's the cheek I'm

kari (22:04):
gonna hit.
How

casey (22:06):
far are you trying to go?
That was light.

kari (22:12):
That was light.

casey (22:13):
I've been in slap battles.
You have been.
That was hot as shit.
I've been in slap battles thatwere harder than that.
That

kari (22:19):
was really hot, I'm not gonna lie.
That's a story for another timethough, people.

casey (22:24):
Yeah, we gotta be reminded to talk about the slap
battle in Miami.
Miami.

kari (22:29):
That was

casey (22:30):
on the street.

kari (22:31):
Talk about kinks that you don't realize

casey (22:34):
outside of the bar with about a hundred people gathered
around

kari (22:38):
trouble for that.

casey (22:39):
No, no, no.
Because it was consensual.
The bar was fine with it.

kari (22:43):
Were they?

casey (22:44):
Yeah, we didn't, we didn't ask permission, but the,
the large crowd that we hadaround us, no one ever came and
said, what are y'all doing?
Yeah.
Everyone was just screaming, yelling, having a
good time.
So I think we're okay.
And we know, yeah, no, and wehave the picture that we have
had a police car in thebackground.
Did it really?
I think so.
There was, I know there's redand blue lights flashing.

kari (23:04):
Okay.
All right.
Next question.
We'll talk

casey (23:05):
about that on another time.
Yeah,

kari (23:06):
that's, that's, that's another time.

casey (23:09):
Anyway.
So next question.
So that first one of the ballgag versus impact play followed
by you slapping me.
Got it.

kari (23:16):
Who knew that was going to

casey (23:17):
happen?
Would you rather be, or wouldyou rather only be able to have
sex once per year with the samepartner?
Or only be able to have onenight stands for the rest of
your life.

kari (23:31):
First of all, that's not a kink.
I don't know how that's evolvedit with kink.
Well, it's just,

casey (23:36):
would you rather it's just a kink addition.
It doesn't necessarily have tobe like, here's a specific kink
involved, but this would yourather Listen,

kari (23:42):
I've never had a one night stand.
So I don't really like plan onstarting that.
How do we

casey (23:47):
define a one night stands stranger or like acquaintance or
just it happened one time?
How would we,

kari (23:53):
For me personally, if I were to like find my best way to
describe it, it would be likesomeone that I know at least.
And then, and then we wereintimate.
But the whole like stranger andintimate,

casey (24:06):
absolutely not.
Hold on.
A second.
So if it is defined one nightstand as some of you, and you
just slept with him one time.
Yeah.
Then yes, you have had a one night stand.
Uh,
who?
I can't, I can edit the nameout.
But yes, you have.

kari (24:22):
Okay.
Yeah.
That's fair.

casey (24:24):
Would you like, yeah.

kari (24:25):
That didn't happen.
Only one night.

casey (24:27):
Two.

kari (24:28):
I don't, I didn't happen only one night.

casey (24:30):
Well, I believe the story goes, stories go is that they
were one time.
So it sounds like we're, this isturning into taxicab confessions
over here.

kari (24:38):
Hey, Oh, anyway, I

casey (24:41):
guess they were more than one time.
I

kari (24:44):
think for this purpose and what we're trying to say is not
like one night stands, like inthe past that if we were to
identify what it would be.
For this question,

casey (24:54):
my subject change

kari (24:55):
specifically.
Well, you went, you went, youwent differently, which I
appreciate.
And it was, you were defining

casey (25:02):
a one night stand.

kari (25:02):
Yeah.

casey (25:03):
So again, would you rather one night stand for the
rest of your life?
Or one partner one time a year.

kari (25:10):
You would be my one partner and it would be one time
a year, but that just said sex.
We could do a lot of otherthings.

casey (25:16):
It depends how you define sex, but it's all about the
terms.
How are we defining thesethings?

kari (25:21):
We could do a lot of other things.

casey (25:23):
So yeah, mine, I'm on the same page.
Mine would be the one partner.
One night stands.
They're all well and good, butthere's nothing there.

kari (25:30):
You're not learning someone's body through a one
night stand.
You're, you're, if you have aone night stand with someone and
they come, they didn't.

casey (25:38):
I don't know that I could have a one night stand now
because I'd be going into theevening.
Like, so let's talk about whatyou like.

kari (25:44):
Right.
Like it'd be so different.

casey (25:46):
Before we get started, why don't you tell me a little
bit about how you experiencepleasure so I can learn you
more.

kari (25:51):
Yeah.
Because if it's a one and done,how the hell are you going to
know what they like?

casey (25:55):
I would immediately get someone

kari (25:57):
is like, okay, at best,

casey (26:00):
you don't know each other.
No, you're just learning.
Like this is the firstexperience.
This is why it takes time.
This is why it takes goodcommunication skills to be good
at this kind of thing.

kari (26:08):
Yeah.

casey (26:09):
So yeah, I think I would be on the same page with you was
saying one person.

kari (26:12):
Yeah.
One, one person

casey (26:13):
once a year.
What else do we have?
That doesn't make sense.
We're not using that one.
Nope.
So just
would you
rather watch strangers have sex?
Or have strangers watch you havesex.
Voyeurism,
exhibitionism, where do you fall?

(26:35):
Which would you ratherexperience?

kari (26:39):
I would say just for, for a simple one this time, I would
say watching people for now.
I thought you were going to saythe other one because

casey (26:49):
I know you like being watched.

kari (26:51):
Yeah, but I'm not that like I, we have never
experienced something like thatbefore.
Like just to be watched, I feellike I'd just be in my head too
much.
I wouldn't be able to likerelax.
So if I like had to pick whatwould give me less anxiety, it
would be watching other people.
I like your

casey (27:10):
lens that you look at.
You're not what I would enjoymore, but which one's going to
cause me the least amount ofstress?

kari (27:16):
Yeah, it would be watching, watching someone else.

casey (27:19):
Or would you, do you feel like you would gain enjoyment
out of watching someone else?

kari (27:22):
Yeah, it's just, it's live porn.
Bring

casey (27:24):
it on.
Do you feel like you would gainmore enjoyment in being watched?

kari (27:28):
I don't know.
I don't know because I've neverbeen, I haven't been watched
before.
Not like that.

casey (27:35):
Okay.
Well.
What about you?
My answer would, I'd, I'dprobably rather.
God damn, this is a hard one.
I can get.
These are not easy.
Well, I can get enjoyment out ofboth.
I can see where I'm like, it'dbe hot to be watched, but I can
also be like.
But also be hard to watchpeople.

kari (27:49):
It would have to watch people because then you're not
having to like

casey (27:53):
perform.

kari (27:53):
Yes, I was going to say perform, but then perform
things.
But it is.
Yeah, you're you're performing.
I would put

casey (28:00):
on a show for sure.

kari (28:02):
I would just be too worried.
Like, am I too loud?
An American

casey (28:06):
psycho, like pointing at people.

kari (28:09):
And you can do that as the fucker.
But as the fucks, I would haveto be a different mindset.
Now you get

casey (28:15):
to put on a show, too.
I would get some glow sticks andsparklers

kari (28:21):
and where would they go

casey (28:22):
right in your ass?

kari (28:26):
That is not the kings that we are discussing right now So
let's move on to the nextquestion

casey (28:31):
fine.
You scroll and figure out yours

kari (28:35):
Oh, would you rather only have very loud sex or total?
silent very

casey (28:42):
loud Loud, loud, loud.
We have children.

kari (28:45):
So that means that like no sex or that ever

casey (28:48):
stopped you from being loud.
You

kari (28:50):
shut your face.
I am not a daughter.

casey (28:53):
That's like, I can hear y'all.

kari (28:57):
Listen, it's really you that she hears you like to blame
it on me.
But

casey (29:02):
what are the noises I make you want to imitate some of
my notes?

kari (29:06):
I do not actually, I actually really, really do not,
but I bet you couldn't imitatemine.

casey (29:11):
No, my voice doesn't go that high or that loud.

kari (29:16):
Yeah, that's

casey (29:16):
fair.

kari (29:17):
Oh God,

casey (29:18):
what

kari (29:18):
would you rather sneeze?
Or fart every single time youhave an orgasm.
That would be a way to know thatthey weren't faking it.
Can you imagine?
Oh my God, that feels so good.

casey (29:38):
That's where I'm at.
That's right.
Moaning, getting louder andjust.

kari (29:45):
It had to be different farts every time though.
It can't be like the same.

casey (29:49):
And then you can start playing.
Well, like

kari (29:50):
sneezing would be annoying.

casey (29:51):
You can start playing.
Guess my fart.
Just exhibition.
What's it going to be this time?

kari (29:57):
But again, what a great way to see your partner actually
has an orgasm or not.
You didn't fart, bitch.

casey (30:04):
I did wait for it.

kari (30:08):
It's silent.
Was that movie?
I'm sorry.
I'm

casey (30:15):
sorry, Sean.
Sorry,

kari (30:18):
Sean.

casey (30:19):
Okay.
Nope.
Not doing scat play ones.
Sorry.
Scat?
This is poop.

kari (30:25):
Oh.

casey (30:27):
I don't wear tampons.
I don't know how to answer oneof that one either.
Would you rather think of, wouldyou rather think of your mom
every time you orgasm orprematurely ejaculate every time
you have sex premature, you'drather just cut?
Well, yeah,

kari (30:45):
premature every time.
That's not a me question.
That's a you question.

casey (30:48):
Yeah.
That's a very, very malequestion.

kari (30:50):
That's not a me question, but I just don't want to ever
think of my mom.
So I have a really,

casey (30:55):
can I get like a bonus reduced refractory period on
that one?

kari (30:59):
Yeah, I feel like

casey (31:00):
is it we're gonna grant me that because no I would
really not want to think of mymother every time I had an
orgasm.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could go for premature.
I'll get mine.
Plus I've got mouth a couplehands toys

kari (31:12):
Yeah, it's

casey (31:12):
not all about the penis Very well,

kari (31:15):
and yeah, you you bounce back, you know

casey (31:18):
So we can do like a hour and a half long in quote sex
session with all sorts of stuffand then you just you know Hop
on for 20 seconds and we're goodto go.

kari (31:28):
Oh, this one's, this would be hard.
Would you rather not be able touse sex toys ever again or never
have sex again?
I would say, I, I would just, Iwould get rid of the toys.
I would get rid of the toys.
But like, They're really fun.

(31:48):
They are.
That's so mean.

casey (31:49):
However, they're also an added bonus.

kari (31:52):
Of course they are.
But

casey (31:53):
for most, for a lot of people, there are some that's
like, Oh, I can't come unless Ido have that like vibrational
stuff going on.

kari (31:59):
Yeah.

casey (32:00):
So that I feel like that one's an easy one.
Never have sex again or neveruse toys again.

kari (32:04):
Yeah.

casey (32:05):
I'm going to go with the toys.

kari (32:06):
I would too.
I would too.
But we have so many toys thatwould be such a waste at this
point.

casey (32:12):
Looking at a wall where that tentacles staring at me in
the face.

kari (32:17):
Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day
for the rest of your life?
Who's coming up with this shit?
Or join in once to stop it.
Oh God, that's terrible.
What is wrong with you people?

casey (32:32):
I'm going to need all of you.
All the drugs because I'm goingwith the join in once

kari (32:39):
because that way you don't have to see it every single day
of your life.
Just get it over with move like

casey (32:45):
I'm going to be temporarily blind and deaf made
more cocaine than they have inproduction.
Currently, I'm going to meet.
This is

kari (32:54):
really giving me black mirror vibe with the pig every
drug known to man.

casey (33:02):
I need so much stuff just.
Therapy guaranteed for at leastfive years post at least, but
yeah, there's my answer clockingit in.

kari (33:12):
I'm proud of you.
I'm really proud of you.
These are weird because there'sa lot of parent ones.
I'm the author of this

casey (33:22):
article.
I

kari (33:22):
know.
I was like, I'm just skippingover

casey (33:25):
research.
The you're just maybe in asection of parents,

kari (33:28):
maybe, but

casey (33:30):
than grandparents, or is it,

kari (33:33):
this is not a sexual post.
I'm reading this one becauseit's funny, but this is not
sexual.
Would you rather have teeth forhair or hair for teeth?
Where did we go?
Where did we go wrong in thesequestions?
Because this is not a kink.
This or that, but I'm stillcurious.
Your answer

casey (33:53):
hair for teeth or teeth.
I don't know.
Why would I answer that

kari (33:58):
for teeth

casey (33:59):
teeth for hair?
I can make some cool shit.
I could, I would be like on thebones on your, on your head.
I have them shaved down tospikes, head button people.

kari (34:11):
I can see that for you.
Yeah.

casey (34:13):
I'd be going to a ton of punk shows.
It'd be the bell of the ball.

kari (34:16):
Okay, so me just thinking of kinks because none of those
are kinks that we have read.
Would you rather

casey (34:22):
give a rim job or receive a rim job?
You want to eat ass or have yourass eaten?
I

kari (34:27):
have my ass eaten.

casey (34:29):
There you go.

kari (34:30):
Every day.

casey (34:30):
There's a kink one right there for you.

kari (34:32):
Is it a problem to you that I don't want to eat ass?

casey (34:37):
Then don't eat ass.
There's a reason why we have yesno maybe lists.

kari (34:41):
I just don't know why that's a big no for me.
Why

casey (34:44):
are you whispering?
I don't know.
Okay, well just bring it back upto volume.

kari (34:48):
So I'm not fucking with your edits later.
Would you rather get peed on orpooped on?

casey (34:56):
Peed on.

kari (34:57):
That's fair.

casey (34:58):
That's easy.
Why would I ever

kari (35:00):
want to be pooped on?
Why does anyone want to ever bepooped on?
That's their own thing.
Don't

casey (35:04):
yuck someone's yum.
Exactly.
Some people like it.

kari (35:06):
We're not here to yucky yums.

casey (35:12):
Would you rather, here's a good one, would you rather
have anal sex every day or athreesome every time you had
sex?
Threesomes can get boring.

kari (35:23):
Threesomes are not what people like chalk them up to be.
They can be a fucking

casey (35:27):
great time candy.
They can be fun, but they canalso be a big pile.
It's exhausting of nobody reallycommunicating well.

kari (35:34):
Yeah, like

casey (35:35):
exhausting.

kari (35:37):
threesomes are annoying sometimes, let's be honest.
But then like anal every day,I'm, I'm would imagine like day
40 you're, you're like,whatever, but like,

casey (35:47):
I can't feel a thing.

kari (35:49):
Anal like is not for the week.
That shit fucking hurts.
And like, I don't want to be inpain every day.
Of my life.
So could it be that there's likea threesome where I'm like,
you're observing today, you'regoing to be in the bed, but
you're observing it best.

casey (36:07):
Are you doing a Mormon threesome?
Yeah.
We're going to soak.
You're going to be the one thatjumps on the bed.

kari (36:12):
I thought it was marinade.
No, it is.
So you're right.
It is soaking, soaking.
So yeah, I would probably go forthreesomes cause I'm not having
anal every day of my life.

casey (36:20):
Okay.
Okay.
I

kari (36:25):
mean, would you like anal every day of your life?

casey (36:29):
Would I like to receive?
Anal every day of my life.

kari (36:31):
Yes.
Penetrating anal, like the, theform that makes it count.

casey (36:43):
No, uh, anal doesn't interest me in the first place
I've tried.
Yeah.
If you don't

kari (36:47):
want me to lick your butthole, you don't want me to
penetrate it.
I'll

casey (36:49):
be fine with getting my ass eaten.
That's not a question.
I can handle that, but it feelgood, but yeah, penetrative.
No, we've tried fingers.
We've tried like small toys.
It's just, it's, it's not,

kari (37:02):
you can't get past the pinch people.
Let's be honest.
That's true.
You can't get past the

casey (37:07):
pinch.
It's it hurts.

kari (37:09):
Yeah, it sure fucking does.
That doesn't go away.
That's not like, Oh, it's my10th time anal.
That doesn't hurt anymore.
No, it literally hurts everytime.

casey (37:22):
Maybe it's just your aggressive hands.

kari (37:24):
I do have

casey (37:25):
really strong hands.
I'm sorry.

kari (37:27):
I really do.
My delicate

casey (37:29):
asshole is not used

kari (37:31):
to mama's man hands.

casey (37:33):
Handling what you're offering.
Would you rather have sex whileblindfolded or handcuffed?

kari (37:45):
Both, both, but I would maybe say.
Blindfolded.
You

casey (37:53):
can't get both this or that.
Maybe Monday

kari (37:57):
I want to be blindfolded and Tuesday I want to be
handcuffed.
I don't know.
I like both of those options,but if it was like the only one
that I could ever choose for therest of my life, then I would
probably say blindfolded becauseI don't like.
To not have the ability toutilize my hands.

casey (38:13):
You can use your hands with handcuffs on.
They're just not separated.

kari (38:16):
I guess I was envisioning like handcuffs behind your back.
And so I was like, I don't knowwhat I would do with that.
I wouldn't really wanthandcuffs.
Yeah, I would go blindfolded.
What about you?

casey (38:26):
Hmm, me being, it's gotta be blindfolded.

kari (38:30):
Yeah.

casey (38:30):
It's gotta be.
What am I going to do with myhands?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
I like to do things like grab onto people.
People?
Yes.
God.
It is people.

kari (38:45):
That's fair.

casey (38:45):
But yeah, if I were to lose the, the option to use my
hands, what am I going to dowith that?
Like, hold on a second.
Stand still.

kari (38:53):
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I, then blindfold me.
I don't want to lose my hands.
I'm, I'm too touchy to, to nothave my hands while we're being
intimate.
Okay.
But again, like what this wholeexercise is doing is bringing
you to open up conversationswith your partner.
We didn't sit down and like gothrough these beforehand.

(39:14):
It was completely at random and

casey (39:16):
as you can tell by listening,

kari (39:17):
well, yeah, right.
Like this doesn't soundscripted, but at the same time,
I just feel like it's reallyimportant.
Like you could take a questionlike this.
with your partner and go sit atdinner somewhere and you can be
obnoxious and loud like us andsit at the bar and ask these
sexual questions and get a lotof topics and fun conversations
around it.
Or you go, you go get in thebooth in the back and where no

(39:39):
one can hear you and you sitdown and ask these questions
with your partner.
But we just, we really encourageyou to just have these
conversations in general because

casey (39:49):
picture people sitting down with a list of kinks and
being like, how would you feelabout this one?
How about this one?
And a lot of times, whatever youneed.
Well, the thing is, you're gonnaget a lot of couples who are
like, not me, not never.
And they're saying that becausethey have that, that shame
centered around themselves ofbeing like, I can't tell my
partner that I'm into that.
I could

(40:09):
enjoy
that.
Which is unfortunate because youshould be able to tell your
partner that you're going toenjoy something or that you
might be interested insomething.
So it's it's, it is important tome that you evolve that portion
of your relationship, opencommunication and extreme
communication.
That's something that I think isa really big one, like extreme

(40:30):
self acceptance, extremeacceptance of your partner and
extreme negotiation.
You guys should be able to getto the most raw of subjects and
topics.
And not even flinch.
You're allowed to havediscomfort.
It's a natural emotion.
It's a natural feeling that youcan have.
But coming back from thatfeeling and turning around and
going, okay, I heard what yousaid.

(40:52):
It doesn't affect ourrelationship.
What you said might interest me,might spark interest, might make
me go, that can be fun.
Or it might spark in me and go,I have something I would never
ever do.
And it's completely okay eitherway, depending on how your
actions following thatstatement.
Come out.

kari (41:10):
What was our conversation earlier when you were in the
shower and I was like, whatabout this?
And you're like, absolutely not.
And then I was like, Oh, whatabout like this instead?
And we had this, like our ownlittle natural, like
negotiation.

casey (41:23):
You called it a negotiation.
That was not, you were like, yousaid no to that.
It means I can do this.
Uh,

kari (41:28):
no, you said I would be down for that.
And then I was like, okay, lookat us, like negotiating the
scene.

casey (41:32):
I have no idea if you're trying to pee on me or
something.
That's been a big one for you.
No, I don't want

kari (41:36):
to pee on you.
I have no desire to that.
It's not, I don't have nodesire.
It's just, I'm like, at whatbenefit, I wouldn't get anything
from that, but no, you had towalk in the shower and we had
said something and it was justfunny cause you're like, no,
absolutely not.
And I was like, okay, what aboutthis?
And then they're like, okay, I'mwilling to negotiate that.
And I just think that like, evenif you're being playful with a

(41:57):
partner and you're just likerandomly bringing up these
things.
Conversations in passing.
Like it's a great way again, tofigure out what you and your
partner like, what y'all cannegotiate around.
It doesn't have to be thisserious of a sit down date
night, have these conversations.
You can bring up a little bitsof things that you're interested
in with your partner and justsee how they receive it.

casey (42:19):
Of course you can.
You should be able to,

kari (42:20):
you should.
Yeah,

casey (42:22):
no, we're going to have a lot of listeners who are going
to sit back and say, ah, I cannever bring that up.
It's okay to be right thereright now.
Yeah.
If you're looking to changethat, like reach out to us, we
can, we can help you do that.
Or there's plenty of resourceswe can hand out to you that
allow you to feel morecomfortable in some of your
interests.
You've likely somebody that'sgrown up being told that the

(42:42):
things that might interest youare not okay, that it makes you
a bad person or that it makesyou some way or some negative
thing.
Shame's a bitch.
Yeah.
Shame is a bitch, isn't it?
Shane's a bitch.
And if you can reformat your,your, uh, your internal
processes to not feel that shameand to really accept yourself
for those things, you open up awhole new world of fun for

(43:05):
yourself and for your partner.
You'd be surprised at how manythings that you might be into
that you are just so certainyour partner is going to be
grossed out by or say no to,which really can also be a
mirror mirror moment
because
it might be just be you.
you projecting those negativeemotions onto your partner.
You might be saying, Oh my God,they think that this was just

(43:25):
not okay.
When in reality that's your, theway you feel and you're making
the assumption that they'regoing to feel the same way
because that's the way it'ssupposed to be.

kari (43:33):
Yeah.
So again, if you communicatethat and if you just communicate
all aspects of your relationshipwith your partner, aside from
kink side from anything, just behonest.
Fucking communicate with yourpartner.
I promise you, I will honestlysay that I feel like through our
relationship, through our almost15 years together, how much we

(43:54):
have pushed communication inthese last few years, since
we've been doing the show hasReally elevated our own personal
communication.
Like we're learning shit fory'all that we're implementing
for ourselves.
We're not saying this shit andthen like, okay, whatever, like
our communication has grownsignificantly since we've even

(44:17):
been doing this.

casey (44:18):
Yeah, I would agree with you.
There's one of our coreprinciples of this show as well
is that we don't instruct peopleon anything that we don't feel
adequately knowledgeable aboutand have implemented in our own
lives.
So we go out and we do all ofthis research for these things
and then we bring it up and thenwe work to understand it and

(44:38):
then we implement it and it'snot until we feel confident in
our ability to that we everdiscuss it because it would be a
disservice to our listeners tobe like, cool, I heard about
this thing the other day.
Let me tell you, like teach youon it.
That's not how anything shouldwork.

kari (44:52):
No, absolutely not.
But I just, I love that this hasbrought up even more for us.
And I think it's great.
Like we are, as couples arecontinuing to grow together and
that's what we're trying to getour audience to be able to do is
just grow together with apartner that you have.
Or partners if everyone's down,nothing's stopping you.

(45:15):
But anyways,

casey (45:18):
to our poly listeners,

kari (45:20):
right?
Exactly.

casey (45:22):
Oh my gosh.
And we're going to have, uh, afuture episode in the coming
months.
That is about one of, one of thetopics we've been talking a lot
about lately has been your,your, I like to call them like
your, your conflict styles oryour defensive styles.
Where your argument styles,everybody's got them.
Whenever you get into conflictwith a partner and you know that

(45:44):
your partner always resorts to afew things after a long time,
you start, you're able to spotthem and be like, ah, I
typically know how they're goingto like where their arguments
go.
Or I typically know how I reactto arguments.
If you can get together andreally understand those styles
and then lay them out for eachother in a respectable way and
with the intention of growth,you can, you can really pinpoint

(46:07):
some.
Behavioral stuff that can bechanged for the positive in your
relationship, which then againopens you up to a lot of this
whole world of like being kinkyand being fun and moving your
way out of the vanilla norm andinto that like ideal sex
characteristic you'd like to, tohave.

kari (46:26):
Like it's really fun over here, guys.
It's fun on

casey (46:30):
this side.
It's fucking fun,

kari (46:31):
man.
Loosen up, be with your partner,communicate this stuff.
It's kinktober.
This is the time we're going tobe bringing to you all year
around, but I fucking loveOctober.

casey (46:42):
It's a good one.
You just had no broad day.

kari (46:45):
I have no broad day every day, but yes, I celebrate this
shit out of the day.

casey (46:49):
Yes,

kari (46:51):
I do.

casey (46:52):
All right, guys.
So for yet another episode.
Of our podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders and I'm CarrieSanders, and we'll see you next
time.