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Episode Transcript

Casey (00:00):
Good afternoon.

Kari (00:01):
Good evening.
And good night.

Casey (00:03):
Starting with the Truman show.
Welcome to another episode ofcome with Casey.
We are your hosts.
I'm Dr.
Casey Sanders.

Kari (00:10):
And I'm Carrie Sanders.

Casey (00:12):
And we're out here today.
Answering burning questions,deep desires, pleasure centric
penis.

Kari (00:21):
I think we're, I mean, this episode is going to be kind
of fun because yes, we'retalking about all the things
that you just said, but it's notgoing to be like geared toward
the public.
This is just like for us.
No, it's not.
This is

Casey (00:31):
not for us.
We have fun.

Kari (00:35):
Well, yeah, but what I mean is what we're going to be
discussing today is not going tofall under every person.
We're just sharing our ownpersonal experiences and we're
going to be like diving inheavily within the like anatomy
of vulva and penis owners.
But I look forward to episodeswhere we can share very
personal.

(00:55):
Stories and experiences betweenus.
And that's what it is more.

Casey (00:58):
Well, the purpose of today's episode is to talk about
pleasuring a penis andpleasuring a vagina or evolve
it.
Right.
That's the whole, that's whatwe're doing today.
We want to talk about a littlebit of anatomy.
We want to talk about differenttechniques to access that
anatomy and how you canimplement some things into your
own life.
We've done a lot.
And our, and our own lives frompersonal experience.
And then we add into that theacademic side of things that we

(01:21):
have, we think we've come upwith some pretty comprehensive
ways that allows pleasure to beaccessed by most people, I would
say.

Kari (01:28):
Absolutely.

Casey (01:28):
So we, and we know that, I mean, we're going to get into
some things like how importantit is to know yourself.
So you can help instruct yourpartner and why that's an okay
thing.
But we also want to get into theactual specifics, portions of
the penis, portions of the vulvaended up into the vagina areas
that are erogenous and how toaccess them best.
But before we do that, if youhave any questions that you want

(01:49):
to drop to us or comments oranything like that, you are
welcome to email us.
First name at come with Casey.
com.
So for me, it would be Casey atcome with Casey.
com.
And for you, it's Carrie at comewith Casey.
com.

Kari (02:03):
Yeah.
And if you're unaware, we alsohave this like whole ass website
now that you can go to it's comewith Casey.
C U M with K and then C atGmail, or I'm so sorry, gmail.
com, just literally dot com.
But, I mean, I know that you'veheard us talk about having a
website for a while now, andwith the help of one of our very
close friends this is like hisbread and butter creating

(02:26):
websites, and he's, we've reallybeen working with him for a
while, like as detailed as, Ashe is about the questions that
he is asked us to have thewebsite presented in the best
way Like he's just done anexceptional job Yeah, for sure

Casey (02:40):
And some of I mean some of the things you can find on
there you can find out moreabout us on a personal level You
can submit inquiries for us fora few different things including
our coaching services So if youdon't if you're unaware, we have
something called therelationship redirect, which is
our couples website Relationshipcoaching a systematic way for
you to kind of, I don't want tosay reignite because I don't

(03:02):
like to imply that like it's allGod and everything's in the
ship's going down in flames.

Kari (03:06):
The title that you came up with.

Casey (03:08):
Yeah.
The relationship redirect.
That's what we happen.
That's what we, that's what wehave.
That's what we recognize is thatyou're not broken.
A lot of times what people aregoing through, they feel as if
everything's crashing downaround them and their
relationships broken because theintimacy is gone.
And they have people onlinetelling them to, Oh yes, you are
broken and you need me.
No, that's not what we're doing.
What we are doing is saying thatyou've simply gone a little off

(03:31):
course.
And it's time to make aredirect.
You're both making a consciousdecision that it's time to
redirect.
So let us help you do that.
So you can inquire aboutcoaching with us through the
relationship redirect.
You can look at our servicesthat we offer in terms of
photography for Shabari.
You can also look at our kinkcoaching cause we do have kink
specific coaching and that'smore geared.

(03:51):
That's a good one because thatone's more geared toward people
that are like, we're in a greatplace and we also want to
incorporate new things.
We're unsure how to go aboutdoing that.
This could be something assimple as we want to introduce,
you know, Impact play into thebedroom where we buy paddles.
And, you know, I, I get to spankmy partner.
It also can be saying, we wantto find a community of like

(04:13):
minded individuals near us wherewe can go and learn more about
this stuff and be introduced.
So we want to walk you throughhow to do a lot of that.
So it's, that was a big onebecause again, it's not geared
towards, we're having a bunch ofissues.
It's more geared towards, we'rehaving a good time and we want
to figure out what tools, Yeah,we want to figure out like,

(04:33):
what's the next level.
So we offer that as well.
So check out our website, comewith Casey.
com where you can hear everyepisode of our, every almost 70
episodes of the podcast.
That's
crazy.
I think this is an episode like69, which is fun enough as it
is, but you can get all episodesof the podcast.
You can inquire about bookingwith us, whether it be virtual
or in person.

(04:54):
I mean, there's just a ton ofstuff going on and you can read
our blog.
It comes out on a weekly basis.
That, that centers around allsorts of stuff.
We have some cool things comingdown the pipe there.
So anyway, having said that andletting you know, you can get,
reach out to us and check us outat come with Casey.
com.
Let's get into the episodetoday.
We're talking about pleasure.

Kari (05:17):
Again, our mind goes to the same place.

Casey (05:19):
The fact that that wasn't planned was fun.
So, yes.
Today we're talking aboutpleasuring.
We want to specifically go withhow to please your partner's
penis or your partner's vagina,vulva, if you will.
So Carrie, let's start there.
I think we should start withvulva.
I think we, we talked aboutthis.
Let's go ahead.

Kari (05:38):
Slightly more of a complex.
Okay.
Organism is it in comparison toa penis?
Yes,

Casey (05:47):
in terms of like it's it's build or there's the way
that it's just

Kari (05:51):
like difficulties, you know, being a bisexual I can I
can speak on both ends.
It is so much easier to in myopinion again, uh to to please a
penis owner than a vulva

Casey (06:05):
I I agree with you 100 like so much easier.
So I mean I own a penis, buti've never pleasured one But I,
everything that I've looked at,everything that I've seen,
everything that I've studied,everybody that I've listened to.
It's been, it's been consensual.
Like the same consensus is thatvulvas are typically a little
more complex whenever it comesto pleasure.
And that is on both a emotionallevel, stemming from the culture

(06:28):
that we live in all the way toan anatomical level, because
there are different parts thatwe can.
We can take a look at so whydon't we start there?
Let's start with the Volvo.
We're gonna work from theoutside in and take a look at
some of the major erogenouszones that we feel are most
important.
Starting with that one and bigor little, how you're looking at
it, our favorite little LochNess monster.

Kari (06:51):
Little Nessie,

Casey (06:52):
the clitoris.
So if you've never heard us usethat term before, we use the
term little, little Nessie,because if you look at the
actual anatomy of a clitoris, itlooks like the Loch Ness
monster.
Yeah, it does.
It's got these like little bagson the side, which are those
little bulbs.
We've got like the neck of itcoming up, which is homologous
to the penis and a little beanthat sticks right out on the

(07:15):
front side.
So Carrie, let's hear from you.
What are some of your favoriteways to have the clitoris taken
care of?

Kari (07:25):
So for me personally, and I am going to, Just lead with
the fact that I am a slightlydifferent when it comes to
stimulation when it comes toclitoral stimulation light,
light rubbing.
But that's not my like, Majorfocus when it comes, you

Casey (07:46):
do fall into what the 23 to 27 percent of women that
climax primarily throughpenetration.

Kari (07:54):
And, and so like when it comes to clitoral, Stimulation.
That's something that's likesolo for me.
That's something that's

Casey (08:04):
secondary.
Isn't it?

Kari (08:05):
Yeah.
Not when I'm masturbatingthough, if I'm masturbating, I
will only come through coutureor not.
Well, couture, I swear to God.

Casey (08:14):
You didn't, I don't understand.
You didn't say it incorrectly.

Kari (08:19):
I think in my head I said couture because I've been
watching so much like RuPauldrag race and everything is
couture.
So I thought I said that, but Iguess I didn't say it.
Okay.
Anyways.
So yeah, if I'm doing like soloplay?
Yes, the clitoris is somethingthat I'm going to primarily
access.
I'm not going to do penetrationwhen I'm doing like,

Casey (08:42):
that's so interesting to me because I know you, I mean,
I've, you know, I've been aroundyour Volvo for the last 15
years, and you do primarilyclimax through penetration.
So it'd be like, well, wheneverI'm by myself, it's Actually the
opposite.

Kari (08:57):
And, and I, I don't think I have an answer for that, but I
think it's healthy for women tohear that.
Like there can be two differentversions.
I have tried penetration onmyself and I think in all of my
years, I've, I've come once bymyself through like toy usage.

(09:18):
Yeah.
Mate once, but if I'm going tomasturbate, Clitoral and, and I,
like two seconds, like, give metwo fucking seconds and I'm
done.
But like, if you were to gothrough and do clitoral for me,
it would take like much longer.

Casey (09:36):
Yeah.
And that's something we'venoticed that we've taken a look
at is how long does it take foryou to climax through these
various types?
Cause I mean, using a toy isgoing to be different for us
personally than using likefingers, then using like
external stimulation.
So it's interesting to me thatit is.
You know, whenever I'm havingsex, it's this way.
Whenever I masturbate, it's thisother way.

(09:56):
So the important thing to notethere is the fact that it's,
it's, it's okay to be, it's okayfor it to be different, right?
There's no expectation of beinglike, well, no, I'm supposed to,
supposed to have an orgasm frompenetration.
That's the way it's supposed tobe.
But that's a very, actually a, Imean, a quarter of women
actually have achieved climaxthrough penetration alone.

Kari (10:17):
And like, if you go down on me, obviously the main focus
is not the main, but you know,clitoral, like licking and stuff
like that.
And then it's really not untilyou incorporate fingering me
with going down on me that Ilike, or

Casey (10:33):
penetrating you with my tongue.

Kari (10:35):
Well, yeah, that's my favorite, but, but, I bet

Casey (10:38):
that's exactly why I brought it up too.
Yeah.

Kari (10:40):
But I mean, think about even you knowing that clitoral
stimulations, not that big of athing for me when you go down on
me, that's still where you go.
Yeah.
Like that is still one of yourmain focuses and we'll

Casey (10:52):
still be clitoral stimulation.

Kari (10:54):
Well, and that's fine.
I still want that.
It's not that I'm like, Oh,please don't.
It's just.
You knowing what my body wantsare that you can't only do that.
You have to incorporate other.

Casey (11:06):
Yeah.
I like the experience.
I like to explore.
You mean, you know this?

Kari (11:09):
Well, yeah.
And like I said I don't want youto, if you stop doing that, I
would be offended.
But I'm just saying I am notgoing to come in that way.
And so there's aspects of, andthere's a point that I'm
bringing this up is there'saspects to doing something for
your partner.
That can also be then foryourself.
I know you love like going downon me, like you fucking love

(11:32):
going down on me.
And I do think that one of thethings that you're drawn to is
like licking my clit and likeplaying there, and then you'll
incorporate other aspects of itas well.
But, but yeah, I mean, I guesstechnically to answer your, your
first question I, I love myclitoris.
I have a great relationship withit.
But it's definitely not like mypersonal, like, and I'll be all.

(11:57):
And, and I love that we'reactually bringing up this whole
topic because we're going to bediving into more aspects of the
vulva as a whole.
And like what other like zonesthat you can kind of play into.
But you actually told me areally interesting fact.
About the clitoris the otherday.

Casey (12:13):
Yeah.
So, one of the things that I dohere at CWKC is I do research.
I, I love research.
I'm an academic.
I'm a lifelong academic.
Anytime I'm reading books and Ihave, and I have that author
suggest, you know, other authorsor researchers, I'm immediately
like adding them to a list anddiving into what they have to

(12:33):
say.
One of the big ones I had foundout, and I didn't, I didn't know
this.
We know.
I feel like a lot of people nowhave heard the notion that the
clitoris has a ton of nervingendings in it.
And for the most part, what yousee is around 8, 000 nerve
endings.
That's the one that's the numberthat people like to toss out is
that the clitoris has 8, 000nerve endings.
Well, there's a study done in2022 that actually they, for the

(12:56):
first time, fully traced theamount of nervous tissue.
In the clitoris, and we're ableto determine that there's over
10, 000 nerve endings in theclitoris somewhere between nine
to 11 on average.
So there's more than we thought

Kari (13:14):
possible.
That is crazy to think.
That is crazy that like womenget to experience that.
Are you a little jealous?

Casey (13:23):
Yeah, do I?
It's like, like Clit envy

Kari (13:27):
like a little bit.
It has a big bit.
Like,

Casey (13:30):
well, it's common.
I mean, I've, I've had, I've hadvagina envy before.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I think that if I was somebodythat could experience pleasure
in the way that women arecapable of experiencing it down
to like multiple orgasms andjust the feeling of that.
Like the difference in erectiletissue, especially because the
female erectile tissue justcovers that so much area.

(13:53):
I think that women have agreater capacity for pleasure
than men.

Kari (13:56):
For sure.

Casey (13:57):
That's my opinion is that you

Kari (13:59):
don't know it.

Casey (14:01):
Well, it's, it's that you haven't been taught to access
it.

Kari (14:06):
That's what I mean.
Because

Casey (14:07):
culturally speaking, we.
shy away from that and say thatit's like what 20,

Kari (14:11):
20 fucking four before we realize what is actually
happening around there.

Casey (14:18):
Yes.
There's a female or like vulvaowner pleasure centers and just
research around pleasure has alot.
Of catching up to do becauseit's not, it's, it used to be
taboo to do something like thatto research pleasure.
We have, we have greatresearchers like masters and
Johnson and the Kinsey Instituteand all these people who have

(14:41):
paved the way for us to be ableto have these conversations
because there was a timewhenever it wasn't okay.
You're not allowed to talk aboutfemale anatomy and we don't talk
about pleasure.
We didn't do research around itand it was just, here's the
expectation and it was so oldschool.
It was so.
I hate to use the word biblical,but I feel like that's
appropriate almost.

(15:01):
So now we're finally entering inthe last, you know, decade, 15,
20 years or so where it's okayto do the research and it's okay
to talk about it.
And it becomes more important.
Female women's pleasure is asuper important thing.
So we, I mean, you would

Kari (15:18):
think with as little as people know about it.
At some point there would bethis like pull to understand it
better And I feel like we'reslightly getting there, right?
I'm just shocked that it's takenus this long, but then I guess
at the same time, I'm not super.

Casey (15:34):
Well, so, you know, one of the concepts that you and I
love and the audience isn'tgoing to be super familiar with
this is like that pendulum, thatpendulum swing about how, how
society shifts their thinking.
And one of the things that we doknow is that typically
literature is the first thing tocome up with, with normalizing a
concept.
It starts with literature and,and moves into art.

(15:56):
So music and, and.
media and all of that.
And then the public catches upand it takes years for the
public to catch up to where thearts and where research is.
So we we've been seeing, seeingit happen in scientific
communities.
We've been seeing it happen inartistic communities and now the

(16:17):
public's catching up to it to belike, Oh, this is a cool thing.
This, now we want to popularizeit, now we want to, you know,
disseminate the informationaround the globe, and who, who
is there to do that.
We want to be some of the peopleto do that.
So it's been really, really coolto see this, this boom, like we
talked about last week with theerotic literature boom.
The pleasure boom has beenreally fucking cool to see.

(16:39):
It's been really cool.

Kari (16:40):
So then I'm going to ask you, like, you clearly have more
experience in, in this aspectthan I do.
And I know that you've been withme or been with me for a while,
but like, how difficult have youexperienced in the past, like
pleasuring other clits then,then like, even like my own,

(17:02):
like, have you found that likeeach woman that you've been with
do slightly.
Like want to feel somethingdifferent, experience something
different.
Like what is your experience ofthat?
Everyone's different.

Casey (17:13):
Every single person that I've been with has been
different.
Not all of it has been greatexperiences because there was, I
mean, you know, I'm 36 now, sobefore there's been times where
I didn't know to ask questions,especially like being younger,
whenever you're first.
teens, early twenties, andyou're being with a person, you
don't realize that you should beasking them, how do they like to

(17:36):
receive pleasure?
I think one of the greatestquestions in pleasure, pleasure
centric relationships is to ask,how do you receive pleasure?
Cause there's been times I don'tknow

Kari (17:46):
how to answer that though.
Not everyone does.
If you asked me that when wefirst started dating, I wouldn't
know how to answer thatquestion.

Casey (17:51):
And I think that that's fucking beautiful to, to, I
think that's a solid realizationto have that.
If you are someone that you getasked the question, Hey, in what
ways do you enjoy receiving?
Pleasure and you go, I don'tknow that to me is an invitation
to explore it if you do strugglewith that by saying well I'm I'm
not sure how to receivepleasure.

(18:13):
Okay.
Well, have you ever had anorgasm?
The answer is no like let's divefurther into that or if it's I
don't know.
I think that I have I can'tspeak for anyone cause I'm not
one.
But one of the biggest thingsthat we see from some of these
authors that do write onpleasure is that whatever
they're discussing, these femaleauthors, whenever they are

(18:35):
discussing the orgasm and theyhave a client or someone they
know that says, I don't know ifI've had an orgasm.
They typically go, okay, thenyou have it.
You know, when you have one

Kari (18:47):
to a client, she was like, well, I don't know if I've had
an orgasm, like then you have itclear little blips of pleasure.
But in all honesty, though, forwomen, it can kind of be
confusing.
Like as a male.
You get a, a very obviousphysical response of an orgasm.
Yeah.
There's a very clear,

Casey (19:06):
it's an objective finding.
Like there's, there's come

Kari (19:09):
there.
But, but honestly, as a woman,there's been so many times that
I was, and, and even now havingsex with you, I could be like in
the moment and everything feltso good, but could I, a hundred
percent, like, Say that wasfully an orgasm versus just a
massive intense feeling.
And so I think that is relatablefor, for women to say that.

(19:32):
Now, I know that we're likeslightly joking about it.
If you, you don't know if youhave, then you have it.
There's a lot of truth to that,but.
A woman's orgasm is not so blackand white.
It's not so just like clear, youknow?
And before we dive into thatfurther, I still, I still want
to ask though, like, did youexperience with someone where

(19:53):
they were like.
So aggressive on the clit.
That is my biggest thing towhere you were having, you're
not having a, you weren't havingintercourse, but then like
cultural simulation had tohappen.

Casey (20:05):
Yeah.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
I've experienced that.
And like, and, and interactionsbefore is to have somebody that,
I mean, again, this is, we'retalking about, You know, three
quarters of the population,right.
Who require some form ofclitoral stimulation to achieve
orgasm.
So, yeah, absolutely.
It's been, that have

Kari (20:24):
been something that like, either you say y'all are having
like penetrative sex.
And you like needed to use a toyor you wanted to use like, maybe
like your thumb the entire time,like, like how difficult is that
as a male, dude, I can't use myleft hand on my right hand and
do something different at thesame time.
And I know this is an oddquestion, but like,

Casey (20:44):
that's not an odd question at all, but I feel
like, I hope you have what myanswer is already in your head.
I feel like I have an unfairadvantage.

Kari (20:54):
I'm not, but I'm not talking about with me.
I know

Casey (20:56):
I I'm not talking about you with you either, but you're,
you're saying that in myexperiences with somebody like
that difficulty and like doingwith the hands and all that, I'm
a musician.
Like I, I, I can easily, youknow, pat my head and rub my
tummy at the same time andwithout even thinking about it,
I have, like, I have gooddexterity and strength in my
fingers.
And he

Kari (21:16):
does ladies.

Casey (21:18):
And so that's always been something it's become like, what
is this person required toachieve climax?
And that's, that's the messagethat I have for any, any penis
owner out there that, especiallycause again, we live in a
culture that shames peopleshames men specifically for
being like, if you can't get herto achieve orgasm with your
penis, then they're less thansomehow,

Kari (21:39):
I just hope that's still not.
The like, Oh, there's stillpeople that believe that's so
not okay.
And

Casey (21:46):
that's the same.
That's the same people that seetoys as competition.
That's the same people.
That's like, it's somehow,somehow their ability to, to
have a woman achieve orgasm islike, would just their penis
alone is like a sign ofmasculinity or a sign of
success.

Kari (22:04):
Did you ever feel that way growing up until you got more
educated?

Casey (22:07):
Honestly?
No.
It's never, it's never been aheavy concentration of mine to
be like, no, I got to make hercome with my cock.

Kari (22:14):
I mean, you were so, excited about using toys on me
when we first got together thatI wasn't taken back by any
means.
I was very, I was like, Holyshit.
It was this whole differentlevel of like confidence that I
had not experienced with a malebefore.
Because I do think that they hadthat mindset.
If you can't come from thisdick, then like, I'm not, I'm

(22:39):
less than, I'm not good at that.
Either

Casey (22:40):
that or they're going to flip it on there and say, there
must be something wrong withyou.
Yeah.
If you're not having an orgasmfrom me.
And I've had, and I've had thattoo.
Then there, you must be broken.
Yeah.
Somehow.
I've had that too.
Don't you remember when we firstdated?
That's not how

Kari (22:51):
pleasure works.
Don't you remember when we firstdated?
And I was like, dude, I have notcome.
Before.
I do

Casey (22:56):
remember you telling me that.

Kari (22:58):
But I also remember being like.
I think that there's somethingwrong with what

Casey (23:02):
you've also, what you also told me in the past is that
you could achieve orgasm, but itrequired penetration and
clitoral stimulation.
So you would masturbate duringsex in order to achieve, or I

Kari (23:13):
can also tell the difference between a clitoral
orgasm and a penetrative orgasm.
And every time that orgasms was.
Clitoral.

Casey (23:20):
Clitoral.
So.

Kari (23:22):
And my clitoral orgasm is like tiny.

Casey (23:25):
Yeah.
Well and there's a fewdifferent.
So.
I will say.
God.
You're going to get into a wholedifferent subject.
Sorry.
Because there's differentschools of thought of where the
source of orgasm comes from.
Yeah.
And that there are a number of,of academics out there who will
say a, the, there's only onetype of orgasm and that is
clitoral.
And the suggestion there is thateven with a penetrative orgasm,

(23:45):
because the the, the crucible,the clitoris and the, the bulbs
of the clitoris fall to eitherside of the vaginal opening that
what you're actually doing isstimulating the clitoris on some
level.
And so what you're, what you're,the, the nerve endings that
you're stimulating, it's allthat erectile tissue of the
clitoris.
And so you are only having onetype of orgasm.
It's just being stimulated in adifferent way now.

(24:08):
That's not everybody.
Okay.
That is not everybody that is agroup of academics that say that
there's also other people thatare like no They're entirely
fucking separate.
You're never gonna tell me

Kari (24:18):
Some guy said that
Some

Casey (24:21):
dude with a fucking test tube said that shit But there I
mean there are I think thatlooking at it is that there are
different type of orgasm Itdoesn't matter if it's coming
from the same place if you feelthey are different than they are
different You And no one's evergoing to say, like, be able to
tell you, no, no, what you hadwas the same orgasm, just

(24:41):
different intensities.

Kari (24:41):
Yeah, because I can honestly tell you there, I feel
a difference between apenetration and a clitoral one.
But just really quickly before Imove on to the next topic.
So we're not just only talkingabout clits.
Can you just please explain topeople that are listening to
this and they don't know whereto find the clit?
If you could give them a verylike brief description on how to
find it

Casey (25:01):
on how to find the little man in the boat.
Yes.
Oh, I think the biggest thing tounderstand is that the clitoris
that you see on the externallythat you can actually find as a
small portion of the clitoris asa whole that little bean right
there is if you just follow thelabia majora.
And the labia minora.
So those, those menorah, thoseinner lips, right.
That you're seeing the ones thatyou typically can get different

(25:23):
sizes and shapes of, you justfollow us up to the very top,
right to where they meet.
And then just kind of put yourhand up near the pubic bone and
pull back.
You'll be able to pull back theclitoral hood and actually
explode, expose the clitorisitself.
So it's, it's not difficult tofind.
I think that a lot of the jokeswere like, Oh, it's having
trouble finding it.

(25:43):
It's more of just like.
Trying to make someone orgasm.
It's all centered around orgasm.
Very different than finding theactual anatomy itself.

Kari (25:53):
And then also as you know, a vulva owner, I will say like,
if I had a guy ask me, Hey, canyou show me yours?
Can you please show me where Ithink that's the best thing that
you could do?
Yes.
Yes.
Please let me show you becauseat that point, like, I don't
know any girl that'd be like,no, I would be like, Oh, I'll
show you right now.
Like, but in all honesty, likethat, I think is a hundred

(26:18):
percent.
Okay.
To ask.
I don't care if you've been withyour partner for 15 years.
Hey, can you show me where thatis?
Or this is like the partner thatyou have consent with and that
you have just started to engagewith and you're like, can you
please show me yours?
I, it would be a huge turn on.
Can I please just like see it?
Can you show me, can you guideme?
Because as the owner of, of saidclit.

(26:40):
That would be a turn on for me.
I'm like, Oh, wow.
You're so interested about myanatomy.
About my anatomy that you thenwant me to show you.
And then it's also again, likethis like deep level of kind of
being like turned on by like,yeah, I'll show you.
I don't know.
So just use, use that advice.
But there are, do you have,

Casey (27:01):
do you have a favorite way?
Cause we want to talk abouttechniques too.
Yes, we do.
Do you have a favorite way thatyou like to experience pleasure
with having your clitstimulated?

Kari (27:12):
So it would probably be where you do like the O shape
with your lips and then you putmy clit like inside your O shape
and then you do a slight suckingand then you use your tongue on
the inside.
Okay.
Yeah, okay, so that's a good wayfor like the oral one kind of
like suck it forward into yourmouth Oh,

Casey (27:31):
i'm very aware of what I do

Kari (27:34):
And and then you like but it's not like a hard flick of
the tongue.
I don't like the super fast hardflick I like more of the like
Hard, like caressing of thetongue.
And it could even be like alittle bit like quicker, but I'm
not a huge fan of the, likepoint your tongue and like as
fast as you can.
Yeah.

Casey (27:53):
Yeah.
Well, I mean, tongue's a musclejust like, just like the rest of
the body.
Right.
And so you can, you can thinyour tongue out and make it like
flex the muscle.
It gets really hard or you canwiden out and make it really
soft.
What'd you do?
But I do

Kari (28:07):
love where you kind of like suck it hard and then you
play with it.

Casey (28:10):
Yeah.

Kari (28:11):
That shouldn't be the title of the

Casey (28:12):
second hard play with it.
Soft.
I like that.
I mean, there's, there's so manyways you can do.
I know that one of my, and I, Imean, I've been told that you
enjoy this in the past.
One of my favorite ways to thethings to do is I like to use
one of my hands and put yourlabia minora and clit in between
two fingers and do a circularmotion like that while using my

(28:36):
tongue.
Yeah.
So it's like the, the, theerogenous tissue that.
That's through my fingers to beable to use tongue on that and
then make a circular motion withthe fingers at the same time
Well,

Kari (28:48):
because you almost like like it's like grabbing it.
Yeah, exactly Yeah, you almostlike grab it like center it and
then utilize your tongue.
Yeah, so it's almost doing thesame Thing that I like, but
instead of a fingers, you'relike pulling it out with your
lips, you know, so

Casey (29:07):
it's a pleasure to take a few of those techniques and
enjoy it.
So let's move to like more

Kari (29:11):
really fast.
Do not, do not dry hand top ofthe clit exposed clit.
Like it is so sensitive.
Do not do that.
Lick your hands.
Lick your fingers.
Lick the area.
Use lube.
Use lube if you want.
Doesn't matter, but do not gofrom like rough skin to exposed

(29:31):
clitoris.
Okay.

Casey (29:33):
So from, from the clitoris, if we moved down to
the vaginal opening and just onthe inside about inch and a
half, maybe two inches,everyone's different.
As we said, if you take a fingerthere and you feel it, you're
going to feel a rough patch ofskin.
It's going to be rigid rightthere.
I don't mean dry or anything,but just a little bit more
ridges.

(29:54):
Then the rest,

Kari (29:55):
it's so interesting,

Casey (29:56):
which is where we find what has been commonly referred
to as the G spot graphing spot.
So how do we pleasure that?
And what's the purpose?
What's the significance ofpleasuring a spot like that?

Kari (30:09):
Squirting! In actuality, I mean for me, but

Casey (30:16):
If someone is able to squirt which A lot of women are,
and that, that is a whole notherpsychological perspective.
But if you're able to, thatwould be the spot where you can
stimulate to do so.
But it's on the, what we callthe anterior wall of the vagina
or the front wall, the wallclosest to the front of the
body.
That area is also sensitive.
This is one that I love to talkabout because not a lot of

(30:38):
people go into a shallow.
Penetration or like shallowstimulation.
Everyone's like, I need to getdeep in there.
I need to go real deep and, or Ineed to be either on the outside
or way deep on the inside.
And they don't realize that justa little bit of movement within
that area can release an entire,an entire environment of

(30:59):
pleasure for a person.

Kari (31:00):
So when did you find that spot in Norman?

Casey (31:03):
Ooh.
I would say I have to think backon that now.

Kari (31:06):
Cause you were probably the first one to show me that.

Casey (31:09):
Well, I already told you this.
The first time I ever sawsquirting happened was, was in a
porno.
And I was probably in early highschool whenever I saw that.
And I remember being like,that's cool.
How do I make that happen?
Like, how do I do that?

Kari (31:24):
Like early on session, I benefit greatly from it.
But like you're early on wantfor that kind of stuff.
I will never say it's abnormal,but it's intriguing.

Casey (31:37):
Okay.
Do you want to study me or haveme studied?

Kari (31:43):
Because like, obviously I have vastly reaped the benefits
of your early on sexualcuriosity.
But because again, like I wassaying, I have never had someone
touch me in the way that youhave.
Without it, like you said, beingoverly stimulated on the outside
and then thinking just massivepenetration on the inside,

(32:06):
because the era that you'respeaking of, again, like you
said, like you barely have toput your fingers inside me,
that's Taught me that I canactually feel on myself now.
I still have not been able tomake myself come that way.
But I, I, as soon as you say it,I'm so aware of the error that
you're speaking up and I justfeel like it's an error that a
lot of people don't know about,

Casey (32:27):
which also means that if you are listening and you're
like, Hmm, I've heard of this,but I don't know it.
Test it on yourself.
Like go into a bathroom, go tohome or something and just kind
of, but you'll, you'll feel it.
It's this little like rigid,more rough patches.

Kari (32:43):
You're like touching yourself.
You just insert your fingers andthen do a motion coming like
toward you or like into thatcome here motion we talked about
or the Spider Man if you will.
But as soon as you do that, andagain, you don't have to be
deep.
Like it's, it's not deep.
It's very, it's a very shallowportion right there,

Casey (33:03):
but that's a great spot to stimulate.
And it's one that you can do,especially if you're, if you're
like performing oral on someoneand you're saying like using
your tongue and lips on thevulva, you can insert your
fingers and then just hit thatspot right there.
And you get a lot of reactionfrom it.
Now, of course, This issomething where it's that
conversation of like, how do youexperience pleasure?

(33:23):
If there's someone that's like,I'm good.
I don't need that at all.
I don't want that at all.
Okay.
That's fine.
Or if it's something where it'slike, yeah, sure.
Let's try it out and see whathappens.
You could have some greatresults.

Kari (33:35):
I think the important part in, and you're saying it without
saying it is just communicatingit.

Casey (33:38):
Yeah.

Kari (33:39):
Like, but at the same time, that's the heart, the
heart of pleasure iscommunication.
It is always the same time.
It's like, if you're hearingthis and you've never tried that
before, or like, Obviously askpermission to try something new
on your partner.
Can I try this with you?
This is something that I heardor how heaven wasn't the
episode.
They're talking about this spot.

(34:00):
Can I lay you down and explore?
And I think it's really.
Fucking okay to ask yourpartner.
Can I explore you sexually?

Casey (34:09):
Yeah, let's try this.
How do you feel about

Kari (34:12):
this?
We have never tried before.
I don't know what I'm doing.
And I think it's fair to justopenly admit that I don't know
what I'm doing, but I heardthis.
I saw this.
I really want to get this

Casey (34:21):
tip.
I had this thing, saw thisstuff.
I would like to try it with you.
What do you think about it?
So

Kari (34:25):
my whole thing too, with that is like, how Many times of
trying to get a girl to squirtlike how long did it take you
before you're like, okay I ifshe's courting now

Casey (34:39):
not long That was I

Kari (34:42):
but what was it because like that's just something
that's so unique And Iunderstand that a lot of women
that you've been with you'vebeen able to To get them or have
them squirt, not get them, buttheir body responds in a way.
Seeking.
Oh, okay.
It's just so not normal.
You know what I mean?
It's just, it's like, how thefuck do you do that?

Casey (35:01):
The, the first experience that I had with that was.
I think, I think it was like,Ooh, I was like 18 probably
there.
And it was somebody that I hadlike a very quick, not serious
relationship and a witch.
I started, you know, using myhands on and she ended up
squirting.
And so I, but the thing was, Ialready knew what it was and I

(35:23):
already knew that I wasattracted to it.
And whenever it happened, it wasnot expected and it was
something that I was like, I'm

Kari (35:29):
assuming.
Yeah, they didn't expect that.
You didn't expect that.
Right.

Casey (35:34):
But it was, I mean, fuck, I celebrated it.
To be like, wow.
Okay.
That I, that this is an actualthing.
This is not just like a fantasyfake thing that there, that
somebody is telling me is true,this is real.
And so from there it was justlike, okay, I can make this
happen.
And that is the confidence thatcomes along with that being
like, I can make this happen.

(35:55):
So yes, the, the G spots agreat, a great way to access
good pleasure spots with yourpartner.
And again.
Go inside the vaginal openingaround one and a half, two
inches tops, and feel for thatkind of like rough area there,
and then stimulate that withfingers or a toy or whatever you
can, whatever you can.

Kari (36:11):
As a penis owner, what are some like good positions?
Sexual like sex penetratedpositions that can still
stimulate that.
And I guess what I'm thinking islike, I know a lot of, I mean,
everyone, I have

Casey (36:27):
two already in mind.

Kari (36:28):
Okay.
Just in real quick, let mefinish that because I'm but
think about like guys that are alittle bit smaller and it's so
this like, Oh no, you, ifyou're, if you're penetrating,
you have to penetrate so deep.
You're literally telling us thatthere's this like spot barely
outside or barely inside thevagina or the vulva.
That will grant you amazingpleasure.

(36:50):
And, and so maybe the positionthing isn't the an exact way to
say this, but I still want youranswer, but would you say that
someone that isn't fucking sevenand a half inches long, that
could still benefit from beingany size and still stimulating
this

Casey (37:06):
for sure.
It would benefit anybody that itdoesn't matter.
So I mean, the, the entirevaginal canal itself is what,
like five inches deep, somethingright there.
So that that point, the, thepenetrative orgasm, or is the
one that benefits from thelarger penis.
That's the truth there.
The most other people, mostother people can benefit from

(37:30):
most sizes, but if you aresomeone that's like, okay, well
I'm, you know, I don't have amicro penis, but I've got
something I can work with, findpositions that can simulate
those areas.
And two positions that work verywell for this one is going to
be, I mean, there's a number ofnames for it, but essentially
it's like missionary, but youfold your partner's legs back.

(37:53):
So like the

Kari (37:54):
girl, the girl, the legs are all the way back.
Yeah.
As far back as you can get them,

Casey (37:59):
like without causing any sort of physical discomfort, but
as far back as you can get themand then you can actually, as
the penis under sink down alittle bit lower.
So this works for me personally,this works really well if you're
on the edge of a bed becausethen I can push your legs back
and I can sink down a little bitso I can angle my penis a little
bit forward.
So it strokes that front wall ofyou.

(38:21):
So if I can get to that angle,then I can just move back and
forth.
It doesn't have to be a superdeep penetration, but I can just
move back and forth.
And you're going to get theexperience of getting that spot
stimulated.
It's

Kari (38:31):
almost like a rocking.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Casey (38:33):
Yeah.
You can pretty much just rockinside.

Kari (38:35):
And then also as a vulva owner, they can be in that
position and you can rock backand forth.
It's actually really easy whenyou're two way road.
It's not all about one persondoing the work like just because
you're on bottom doesn't meanyou can't.
Then take control.
That's a great position to thenhave the vulva owner move up and
down and back and, and, and thepenis owner can actually just

(38:57):
like stand still if you're doingthe side of the bed standing
position.
And there's plenty of timeswhere we'll go into that and
then you just sit there and thenI like rock back and forth and
then it does allow me to kind ofcontrol that sense of pleasure.
But then I'm gonna ask you aslike the penis owner I mean, I
would assume it still feelsgood, but like.

Casey (39:16):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
It does.
Yes.
That's, that's one thing that,and we've had that question
before too, if someone's saying,I feel like if, you know, he's
doing this certain move or, ormy partner's doing this certain
move, then, you know, what, whatif they're not feeling pleasure?
Well, ask them, does this feelgood for you and partner?
Don't lie if it doesn't, but youcan also say I'm getting

(39:38):
pleasure.
The fact that you are gettingpleasure and that is perfectly
fine by me.
I don't need 100 percent of thetime to be in this state of
ecstasy, right?
I can take times whenever you'rereceiving pleasure and I'm
providing it for you, or I'mbeing the conduit in which you
are achieving pleasure.

Kari (39:57):
And I think that's so fucking important to understand.
That rarely in, in, in any typeof sexual act are both of you
receiving the same amount ofpleasure at the same time and to
think that that's how it needsto be is just not, it's like
that, that's that,

Casey (40:15):
that's that whole thing of being like, we know we're
going to orgasm at the sametime.
It's cool when it happens.
But it, but it's not the normand it doesn't need to be the,
like the attainable goal or the,like the big goal that you're
trying to get to is no, we haveto come at the same time.

Kari (40:30):
I mean, yeah, but even like just thinking or assuming
that every position you bothfeel something, because I will
do that.
I'll be like, God, this feels,say I love sex in the shower,
but for you as a penis owner,You don't get as much pleasure
from sex in the shower as I do.

Casey (40:49):
Yeah, we've talked about this, and I'll share the
personal information on thatone, is that the two things that
are not great about the showerare, one the water flow, so it
almost creates a barrierbetween, like, me and you.
Of trying to have sex.
And it's like, okay, you don'tfeel as much.
And the other thing, and this isvery personal for me is that,
that hot temperature of thewater that we're in.

(41:11):
I, I don't know what it is, butI don't like feel as much.
So I'll usually like move theshower head away from myself and
be like, here, you can have thewater because if the water's on
me, I'm not feeling as much thathot water, that whole heat thing
is just like, it doesn't, itjust decreases pleasure for me.

Kari (41:28):
Well, that wouldn't stop you from.

Casey (41:30):
No, because it's not going to stop anything because I
know how pleasurable it can be.
And like I get off on knowingthat you get off.

Kari (41:39):
So, you know, in all, in all honesty, it's kind of the
same way.
Like when we are having sex inthe shower, the one of the
reasons that I really enjoy itis because I don't feel it on
the outside.
That's one of the rare times Ifeel it entirely just on the
inside.
And it probably is because thewater, it's probably a lot of
reasons, but that is one of therare times that I actually feel

(42:01):
like how deep you are inside ofme versus everything else being
stimulated at the same time.
And sometimes that depthsensation I lose when we're in
the bedroom.
But in the shower, that's whereI feel it.
Yeah.
And that, and it, I

Casey (42:16):
mean, especially cause you're the whole like standing,
like standing doggy, that kindof stuff is, it's good deep
penetration.

Kari (42:24):
It really is.
And again, it allows me to feelit deep and not allowing all my
outsiders to like, yeah, step inand feel

Casey (42:31):
the, the other position that we were going to talk about
in terms of stimulating the Gspot is one of my favorites.
It's energy consuming.
Penis hunters.
It's, it takes some work, but itis so worth it.
And that is a doggy styleposition in which I would not
suggest using this on a bedbecause it's a soft mattress.
Do this on the floor.

(42:52):
And that's whenever you're indoggy style, like you're, you're
turned around.
On your knees, I would becrouching behind you.
So I'm standing on my feet,crouched down in a squatted
position and essentiallythrusting from that direction.
And then I can have more controlbecause I can actually

Kari (43:11):
tiger hitting my dragon.
There it is.

Casey (43:14):
There's something like that was coming, but it allows
me to take that kind of angleand if, if I like kind of lift
myself up a little bit, now I'mhitting that front wall.
And I can just, so the, and it'spleasurable for both people and
we'll get to this, but becausethe backside of my penis or the
frenulum of my penis is actuallyrubbing that wall.

(43:37):
So now I'm getting extrapleasure and you're getting
pleasure from it.
So that's a really good way tosimulate the G spot as well.
The, the last two that we'lltalk about cause we're keeping
it to like some of the mainpoints.
There's plenty of ways tostimulate a vulva, but the would
be the front and back of thecervix.
So at the very, for people thataren't super familiar with

(43:58):
anatomy at the back of thevagina, you have the cervix.
That's typically, if you'regoing through childbirth, that's
the area in which the babypasses through.
But that cervix is this.

Kari (44:07):
That's the thing that has a dilate to like the size of a
fucking watermelon, the size ofa

Casey (44:13):
watermelon.

Kari (44:14):
But it's normally the size of a straw.
It can stretch.
Yeah, that thing.
I wonder how many raccoons canfit through there.
It's the most elastic part of ahuman body.

Casey (44:23):
But the cool thing about the cervix is that removing it
from the like the reproductiveside and moving it towards the
pleasurable side is both thefront and Or the anterior fornix
and the back of the posteriorfornix.
So you're a spot and P spot areactually quite pleasurable
areas.

Kari (44:41):
So those haven't been, those probably the ones that I
like then, if I likepenetration,

Casey (44:46):
that's the one that I can get a good reaction out of you.
If I do like deep penetrationand this is with fingers, toys,
or a penis is that if I gospecifically to one of those
areas and stimulate, you gopretty wild.
Really?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.

Kari (45:00):
Do I go wild?

Casey (45:03):
Yeah, I know you pretty well, but you can, I mean, those
are good.
Those are good ones to like talkto your partner because
understand that some people havevery sensitive very sensitive
cervix.
So some people are like, I don'twant that area touched.
Like, I, I don't want you to golike very deep.
Cause it's causes me physicalpain.

(45:23):
And other people are like, fuckthat pound it, get as deep as
you can, as hard as you can andhit those spots.

Kari (45:29):
I mean, I'm assuming that's why, like, if I'm close
to my cycle or something, thatarea is uncomfortable.
If you have inflammation

Casey (45:36):
going on in the area, you have increased sensitivity and
Sometimes it's going to be anarea where it's like, no, I'm
actually getting, this is, thisis creating painful sex and I
don't want that.
So I don't want that areastimulated.
So it's important to have thatopen line of communication to
make sure that the area that youare stimulating is, is
pleasurable.
But both of those, the front ofthe cervix and the back of the

(45:58):
cervix is, so again, that cervixthat's that protrusion that you
can see that like kind ofcircular feeling protrusion into
the vagina.
So if if you are someone that'susing your hands and you reach
all the way to the back and youfeel that kind of bulb that's
there, that's the cervix.
You're going to feel a, like atiny hole in the center of it
right there.

(46:18):
So just go to the front or go tothe back and you can see how
your partner responds to thoseareas being stimulated and use
that for your advantage.
So
it doesn't mean basic ways to please.
Volvo, without getting like too,too technical with it.
Right?
Yeah.
So let's talk about penises.

(46:38):
Let's talk about pleasuring apenis.

Kari (46:41):
Now you just sit there and be quiet and I'm gonna take
over.
Oh yeah.

Casey (46:48):
I mean, this is the fun part of the conversation because
penises are not complex.
We're not.
As much as you want to be like,yes, I am.
I'm super deep.
And your, your, your mind is,For sure you need to be aroused,
like you should, you know, makeyourself pleasure centric and

(47:09):
start to do things that feelgood.
But the actual pleasing of apenis, you have all of the
structures that receive pleasureon the outside.

Kari (47:20):
Yeah.

Casey (47:21):
That's one of them.

Kari (47:21):
No hidden gem.
Yeah.
I mean, a prostate is going tobe a hidden gem.

Casey (47:27):
You can talk about going through the backside for a group
of people that enjoy prostatepleasure.
But for the most part that yourpenis is all out there.
So if we're talking about likehomologues or the same and from
one gender to the next, is thatthe clitoris is like the glands
of the penis, the head of thepenis.

(47:47):
So think about that in terms ofsensitivity.
You have this area that enjoysbeing touched, teased, licked,
sucked on, moved around.
And one of the big areas of thatthat you can please is the
frenulum.
So backside of the penis.
So let's say, let's say thatyou're like the pleasure giver,

(48:07):
you're the partner and you havea person laying on the bed in
front of you and they have apenis and you hold it up in
front of you, that area wherethe head like wraps around and
meets at like a V shape.
That right there is thefrenulum.
That is the area that is areally, really good one for you
to start to tease and use toyour advantage.
It can be sensitive, but it's areally good one.

Kari (48:29):
Kind of how we were talking earlier where you can
like make your tongue hard oryou can make your tongue soft.
That's a great area to explorethat with when it comes to your
tongue.
There's a lot of times that I'lllike go through and I'll do
like.
One like really long, thick lickon that area, or I'll go through

(48:49):
and I'll like put my tongue moresharp and I'll like go fast over
that area or something.
Oh, we

Casey (48:56):
talked about this.
One of the, one of the goodmove, because one of the things
that we like to do wheneverwe're fooling around.
Or we're having sex or anythinglike that is like, tell each
other, remember what you'redoing right now, because I want
more of that.

Kari (49:12):
You say that to me all the time and I'm just like, baby, I
never got, I don't even knowwhat I'm doing.

Casey (49:17):
You need like a book of these things because.

Kari (49:19):
I need a video every time.
So I can be like, okay, he likedthat then because me as like an
role or a head, like, you know,whatever, I, I try something new
almost every.
Single time.
I'm doing something with myhand.
I'm doing something with mytongue.
I'm doing something with myspeed.
I'm like, but that is one ofthose main areas that I always

(49:40):
will like go back to.
Yeah, that is one of yourfavorites.

Casey (49:43):
Yeah.
And there's a few things you cando for that.
One of my favorites is so if yousoften the mouth And just keep
the tongue extended.
So sticking it out of your mouthand then just move up and down
and just hit that frenulum area,like let the tongue rest on it
and just move it up and down.
So you're essentially going upand down the shaft.
This can be with a hand added ornot, but essentially like going

(50:07):
up and down the shaft and justletting that tongue run across
that frenulum back and forth, itcan be slow.
It can be fast.
Ask your partner what theyenjoy.
Even in the moment that you canstop for a second and be like,
does that feel good?
Whenever they say, fuck, yes, itfeels good.
You know, great.
Do you want me to keep it atthat speed or should I go faster
or slower?
And find out what they wantuntil they get to a point where

(50:27):
they're like actively knowingwhat you're doing and saying
faster, slower.
Cause for us, I know we're bothbig on this.
Like we like giving direction inthe moment because you're
essentially saying, here's howmy, I experienced pleasure.
Please do this.

Kari (50:44):
But we also like pleasure differently at different times.
And so it is helpful.
There's been plenty of timeswhere you're like, no, really
like it.
Just.
really like slow and wet orwhatever.
And then there's other timesyou're like, you do this really
fast paced thing at the tip.
And I really liked that.
Yeah.

Casey (51:03):
So ask your partner.
Cause it's times where you canbe like, I want you to be
aggressive and rough with me.
There's times where I want youto be so slow.
soft, sensual.
Like let's, let's work on that.
So that's a good one is thefriendly limb.
Of course, the entire head ofthe penis can be, can be used
there.
The shaft of the penis, if youdon't already know, like grip it

(51:23):
with your hand, find a pressurefor your grip that your partner
enjoys.
There's times where it might belike too much.
There's times where it might betoo soft.
Use your saliva.
If you can't like that's so oneof the biggest tips that I think
that we have there in terms ofsaliva, cause some people are
like, well, I don't have thatmuch saliva to use.

(51:44):
Try go to the point where youalmost initiate your gag reflex.
Don't necessarily initiate thegag reflex.
Yes, that's naturalphysiological response.
If you start hitting that area,like right near the back, right
where you're activating the gagreflex, but just shy of it,

(52:04):
you're going to get a niceproduction of saliva.
And that saliva, I, I, I wouldbet that your partner's pretty
into it.

Kari (52:11):
Yeah.
I'm like, I.
I have never heard of a guy.
Complaining about too muchsaliva and head.
Yeah.
Like, Ooh, that spit.
But I, I have to hear it.
So,

Casey (52:30):
so use that.
And then, so now you're addingin the head and that can be a
stroke with a hand.
That can be, you can add atwisting motion with the hand.
You can cup the balls with thehand, which is also like a great
one.
So use a massage technique.
Ask them how much pressure theylike.
If they say you can go harder,go harder.
If they say, Oh, ease up alittle bit.
Don't take that as you're doingit wrong.
Take that as okay.

(52:51):
He's up a bit.
Like take it like that's at apoint whenever there's so much
surface value to it, wheneversomeone's giving you feedback,
it's not negative feedback.
It's not, you're doing it wrong.
It's here's what I enjoy.
So don't beat yourself up.
Don't think that you're doing itwrong.
Okay.
So I was like organized myselfhere.
So we've done frenulum.
We did the head of the, like thefull head of the penis or the

(53:12):
glands is what that's called.
You have the shaft of the penis.
You can take it further thanthat.
We already said, well, you canincorporate the balls.
Suck on them, please.
Which again, I do think thatthat is Suck on them, please.

Kari (53:23):
Yeah, I think that that's like a forgotten aspect to the
male anatomy.

Casey (53:28):
I don't think that some people realize how pleasurable
it is to have them.

Kari (53:32):
I just, I, I hear so many girls that are like, oh, I just,
I don't ever like rabid balls.
I'm like

Casey (53:38):
Why not?

Kari (53:39):
Like, obviously, like you said, like, be gentle, but it is
a very, very pleasurable,especially while like receiving
head or even when we're havingsex, like, I'll try to like
reach down and grab your ballsand just like massage them, like
while we're having intercourse,like it helps.
It's a, it's a, it's

Casey (53:59):
another Rajan stone.

Kari (54:00):
I've always thought of it or equated it to like your
breasts.
Your breasts, they feel greatwhen they're stimulated and
played with and, and I almostwould feel like balls probably
gets more.
Stimulation that I feel likebreast too, but I don't really
know that's situational.

Casey (54:16):
You don't have balls.
I did.
That's

Kari (54:17):
what I'm saying.
And that's situational.
And like, and my breasts, likethey don't actually get as much
stimulation as I wish that theydid.
Like physical, not you touchingyou know, from it.
Unfortunately, I really wish Iknow women that are like, Oh, I
grabbed my breast when I likemasturbate and it like adds to
it.
And that'd be so cool.

(54:38):
But like, I just.
Unfortunately, I don't get that.
It is, it's

Casey (54:41):
a small percentage of people that can achieve like
that nipple or that, that breastonly stimulation orgasm.

Kari (54:49):
Yeah, that just unfortunately doesn't work for
me, but I still think that, thatyou can kind of equate the two
together.
Like play, play with the fuckingballs.
If you're down there, play withthem already in your face.
You might as well touch them.
You got two hands.
I guarantee you both handsaren't on the shaft.
Yeah, not all the time.
Not all the time.
Yeah,

Casey (55:11):
that's, that's the biggest thing.
I think the takeaway from thatis just explore because we,
outside of that, outside of thethings we talked about the pubic
area, you can massage thatthighs, you can massage that the
perineum, which is that, I mean,you, what, what do you like to
call it?
It's not a chode, but you liketo call it that.

Kari (55:31):
The taint.

Casey (55:33):
Yeah.
So that area, it's really goodto stimulate.
Why is that good to stimulate?
Because if you didn't know this,your actual penis goes up six
inches into the body.
So what you're seeing on theoutside is not all there is to
the penis.
There's a whole nother portionof it.
That's on the inside that can bestimulated by the penis.
Through the perineum.
You also have close to theperineum is an indirect way to

(55:56):
stimulate the prostate.

Kari (55:57):
So

Casey (55:58):
now you're able to just rub that middle area between the
bottom of the ball sack and theactual anus to where you can
say, okay.
can feel good.
You know, be careful withpressure, make sure you're
communicating with your partner,but that's a really great area
to stimulate.
You can use that with hands.
You can lick that area.
You can do whatever you want to,as long as it's pleasurable and

(56:19):
consensual, but then you want totalk about the anus is what it
sounds
like.
Both partners can, can benefit from having the anus
stimulated.
The type of tissue that's thereis, has an increased amount of
blood flow, lots of nervousendings.
So it's, it's

Kari (56:34):
males have a stronger response than, than females do
for anal play.
Right.
I
don't know, doctor.

Casey (56:43):
I mean, you're the one that just made the claim.

Kari (56:46):
I know, but I thought we were talking the other day and
that we did say that, that like,there's something different
within the male prostate to thefemale prostate.
Well, it's not the exact same

Casey (56:55):
location.
So females don't have what wewould refer to as this is your
prostate.
They have, they have somethingthat is a homologue or the
equivalent of a prostate.
Which is in a located in adifferent area.
So we have

Kari (57:12):
like the wish version.

Casey (57:13):
No, no, it's not a less than.
It's not less than, it's nothingelse other than these are the
formations of anatomy.
But within, with, deeper withinthe anus you do have access to
You have access to the prostateand the prostate has a lot of
nerve endings in it for, formen.

(57:34):
And it's a really, really greatway if they're, if it's
consensual, if they're into itfor you to help increase
pleasure.
So there's people that are goingto be like, yes, I'm fine with
having something inserted insideme, whether it be fingers or a
toy or anything else.
And to have that, yeah, somepeople, I'm not one of those.
I, I can feel your likevindictiveness.

(57:57):
Not this guy.
It's not something that I've,I've traditionally been into.
It's, it's, I've always, yeah,we have that.
It's like, I'm open to trythings.
I'm absolutely open to explore,but whatever it becomes like
uncomfortable and it becomeslike, this doesn't feel good.
I'm not receiving pleasure fromit.

(58:18):
Then time to back off.

Kari (58:20):
No, and that's one thing that I will say like with when
it comes to anything that wewant to explore sexual you've
always been willing but you'realso really good at
communicating what it justdoesn't necessarily work for
you.
Yeah.
And this is an aspect thathasn't worked for you but I
don't want that to deter any ofour listeners.
I don't want.
a guy to think like, Oh, thisis, is it for me?

(58:40):
Because it's not like,

Casey (58:42):
and we especially don't want our penis owning listeners
to be like, well, I don't dothat because that's gay.
Which is other things that we'relike, that's not, that's, that's
the furthest from any sort oftruth.

Kari (58:57):
But if you are a penis owner and listening, like.
I want you to look at like fiveof your friends and at least two
of them very much enjoy it.
Like they don't talk about itand people don't talk about it
because they're like, Oh, it'staboo to talk about.

Casey (59:12):
What you know is like a major complaint that I have is
I'm like, I love the fact.
that women have this ability tosit around and talk about like
pleasure and sex and all that.
And I mean, maybe it happensless often than I assume that it
happens, but I think it's anamazing and beautiful thing to
sit down and be like, Oh my God,we, you know, me and my partner

(59:32):
tried this or like this is how Ireceived pleasure or this is
what I like, or this is whatthey like.
Whenever you don't get a ton ofguys that sit down in a group
and be like, dude, this is whatI enjoy.
Or this is what I tried out.
We're so like.
Covetous of how we receivepleasure in that sense.
And it sucks.
Like I would love to be able tosit down with my friends and be
like, man, you know what I foundout that I can do check this and

(59:56):
tell them about a story that Ihave or about an inner encounter
that I had, or, or somethingjust to be like, let's talk
about sex.
Let's talk about pleasure.

Kari (01:00:04):
I, you know, I do think that y'all are kind of missing
out because a lot of the Aspectsof my own sexuality that I
realized and found to be sovastly normal Came from talking
about it to other women.

Casey (01:00:18):
Yeah,

Kari (01:00:19):
I didn't like google the way that I masturbate.
Is this normal?
I talked about it with myfriends and realized that, Oh
shit, she does it that way.
And she does it that way too.
And so now I don't feel so badfor the way that I choose to
masturbate, but I feel like it'sthe same, or it could be the
same with guys.
Again, I understand that myfield of work has put me into a

(01:00:44):
totally different realm ofunderstanding and hearing sexual
stories.
And I'm so thankful for that,but like, there are so many men
and husbands.
That one anal play.
There are so many men that Ihear about that do get pegged by
their wives that do have afinger ass every single time

(01:01:07):
they get head, but they don'ttalk about it.
So if you're listening to thisshow and you have never tried
it, damn, I'm strongly, stronglyencouraging you to try it.

Casey (01:01:23):
Yeah.

Kari (01:01:24):
Yeah.
It's just.
You know, and, and maybe in afew years from now, there's
going to be this big, like wavein, in human society and culture
that everyone comes out and beenlike, Oh, me too.
And, and me too, as, as men tosay that they like it.
But if you have never tried itand you have a partner that you
trust and you feel comfortablewith, try it with them.

Casey (01:01:46):
For sure.

Kari (01:01:47):
I strongly encourage it.
I aggressively, stronglyencourage it with communication

Casey (01:01:54):
and comfort

Kari (01:01:54):
and a little bit of alcohol.

Casey (01:01:56):
And no,

Kari (01:01:57):
I'm just kidding.
Don't do that.
I mean, it doesn't hurt.

Casey (01:02:02):
Well, I mean, wow.
That's a good conversation.

Kari (01:02:06):
We've been chatting for a bit on this.

Casey (01:02:08):
All right.
Well, in that case for anotherepisode of come with Casey, if
you have any questions at all,any comments or anything like
that, shoot us an email.
Either actually, you know whatyou can do ask at cumwithkc.Com
to get, to get ahold of us, headover to www.cumwithkc.Com to
send an inquiry about anythingfor our relationship redirect or

(01:02:29):
any of our services that weoffer.
And we'll see you next time.

Kari (01:02:33):
Bye