(Ep. 34 Encore -- because this topic is THAT IMPORTANT).
April is sexual assault awareness month -- a reminder to acknowledge and support survivors, advocate for further awareness, and educate ourselves and our kids.
While we know what sexual assault is on some visceral level, I wanted to do a quick episode that spells out what body boundaries, sexual assault, and consent are - and how to talk about these things without instilling fear or anxiety.
Also, 7 phrases that our daughters need to hear, to help open up the space for safe conversations about sexual assualt.
Listen to hear:
- The definition of sexual assault and consent
- How to bring up this topic with your daughters, including using current events and pop culture to help facilitate conversations
- 7 things to tell your daughters for more open communication, and help them feel aware about sexual assault and empowered by the love and safety you provide
Other episodes to check out:
- RAINN.org
- 24/7 Free Support Hotline - 800-656-HOPE (4673)
Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them
Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. And if you got something out of the podcast, I'd love it if you could leave a 5* review!
- For more doses of information and inspiration:
- follow on Instagram
- sign up for our monthly newsletter
- visit www.knowberaisethem.com
About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu
Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle. Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.
Moms -- Are you looking for direction after a life change?
Do you feel like you're reacting to life instead of defining it?
Do you sense you're made for something more?
Head to carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, her 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her newsletter.
Schedule a free 30 minute complimentary coaching consult to see if a coach/life strategist is right for you!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
Welcome to know them. (00:03):
undefined
Be them, raise them.
I show to help moms stand formedand inspired so they can show
up for themselves and theirdaughters the way they want to.
I'm your host Carmelita two.
Join me each week as I cover avariety of topics, all designed to
support mindful, and growth-orientedmoms of girls, especially girls in
their crucial tween and teen years.
(00:24):
If you like what you hear, besure to subscribe, tell a friend
and follow @knowberaisethemon Instagram and Facebook.
Before I head into today's episode,I do want to mention that I'll
be talking about sexual assaultfrom an educational perspective.
There are no personal stories orgraphic experiences, but I do discuss
definitions of sexual assault and consent.
(00:46):
For some, this might be difficult to hear.
Or you may choose not to listento this around young children.
I encourage everyone to assesstheir situations, take care of
themselves, and if you need additionalresources, head to rainn.org.
That's R a I N N dot org orcheck the show notes for links.
(01:10):
So as many of you know, April issexual assault awareness month.
And if you're a woman listeningto this, which you probably
are since most of you are moms.
Chances are as a high school andcollege student, you knew people
who were victims of sexual assault.
Like I did.
It's a sobering personal reminder ofthe pervasiveness of sexual assault.
(01:31):
According to RAINN the rape abuseand incest national network.
And the nation's largestanti-sexual violence organization.
One in five women experienced sexualassault at some point in their lifetimes.
Every 68 seconds, an American is sexuallyassaulted and 90% of victims are female.
And more than 93% of victims ofchild sexual abuse know their abuser.
(01:57):
So while it may be so uncomfortable.
I appreciate that there is a monthto acknowledge and support survivors,
empower us with information, and remindus to educate ourselves and our kids.
For most of us, hopefully all ofus, we already have an awareness
of sexual abuse and what we can doto help prevent it from happening.
(02:18):
So your girls probably already knowsome of the fundamentals that you've
been teaching them all these years.
Like what inappropriate touchingis and how certain parts
of their body are private.
Physical boundaries may alsobe something you've discussed.
I personally had to learnmore about this as an adult.
For instance, I didn't reallyfeel like it was an option not to
(02:39):
hug people, especially relatives.
Growing up.
So it was a learning experiencefor me too, as much as it was
for my girls to think about this.
But as our daughters get olderand progress into their teens, and
their awareness of relationshipsand sex are developing.
I'm realizing a need to talk aboutmore than just sexual abuse, which
(03:00):
is a term mainly used to describe sexcrimes, committed against children.
I also want to start talking about sexualassault, which is more often used to
describe sex crimes against adults andencapsulates what they're more likely
to encounter in high school or college.
These are conversations that on somelevel, I did not want to have this soon.
(03:20):
But at the same time, I know Iwant them to happen sooner than
later, so they aren't blindsided.
If something happens to them or a friend.
And a big part of preventing sexualassault is creating a dialogue early.
So in case it's helpful to you, Icame up with a shortlist of ideas
on when and how to approach thesesubjects because I am someone that
(03:42):
is not very good at just starting arandom conversation about these things.
And I also have some baseline conceptsI'm going to revisit or tell my
daughters for the first time aboutsexual assault and I'll close with the
seven phrases I want to be sure theyhear coming out of my mouth regularly.
(04:03):
So when and how to talkabout sexual assault.
We have to navigate a lotof tough topics as parents.
And so many times I don't thinkto talk about them until a life
event brings it front and center.
But for something like this,where education is empowerment
and can prevent bad things fromhappening, you don't want to wait.
(04:24):
So remember it may never feellike the right or a good time.
Um, but even if it's uncomfortablefor everyone, Forge ahead and persist.
Even if it's awkward.
If your daughter doesn't want totalk about sexual assault at a
particular moment, you can drop it.
But bring it up later.
There could easily be a valid reason shedidn't want to initially engage, like
(04:46):
maybe she was preoccupied with school.
Or trying to finish homework.
Or maybe she's uncomfortable and needsa little time to adjust to the idea
of talking about this topic with you.
But do bring it up again.
And it doesn't have to be out of the blue.
You can use current events orthe content your daughter is
consuming as a conversation starter.
(05:07):
So something like song lyrics and onlinegames can be fodder for discussion.
You can ask, how would youfeel in this situation?
Or I know sometimes peering overmy daughter's shoulder as she's
playing roadblocks, something mighthappen and I'll ask, you know, how
did that make you feel or how wouldyou respond differently next time?
And you can always say somethinglike if something like this ever
(05:29):
happens to you, I hope you know,I want you to come talk to me.
Also talking about safety issues,generally say walking home a certain
way, or being aware of one surroundings,that can be a tie in to talks about
safety in different situations.
Like at parties or gatherings.
Situations where trusting theirgut, et cetera, is really important.
(05:51):
If you find yourself in a discussionabout boundaries in one context, say in
a friendship setting, it can be an easysegue into how to say no clearly, talking
about boundaries and other contextssuch as in a romantic relationship
or on dates and how boundaries area healthy part of any relationship.
You can also share your ownstory in an age appropriate way.
(06:12):
You can say, this is what happened to meand I don't want this to happen to you.
Or there was this time someonetried to do this to me, and here's
how I got out of that situation.
Be sure you aren't blaming orshaming yourself when you're sharing
your story or your daughter mayfeel ashamed and blame herself if
she's ever in a similar situation.
So those are some ideas about how tohave discussions about these topics
(06:36):
in a more organic and natural way.
In terms of understanding sexual assault.
The first thing I'm going toreiterate to my girls is what
their body boundaries are.
Your tween and teen daughters already knowwhat their private parts are and that no
one should touch them inappropriately.
But it's also not okay for someone to askthem or force them to touch someone else's
(06:57):
private parts and it's not okay for peopleto take pictures of their private parts.
This may seem like a no-brainer, butit's a nuance that may not be entirely
clear depending on what their ageis and what they've been exposed to.
And you don't want your girls thinkingthey are somehow at fault or culpable
if a guy grabs her hand and stuffsit down his pants, or someone snaps a
(07:20):
picture of them when they're changing.
I wish I could save these weren't realworld scenarios, but sadly, they are.
The second thing I want them to knowis what exactly sexual assault is.
While I know I've taught my daughtersabout unwanted touching, I'm not
sure they really know what theterm sexual assault encompasses.
They may only think of it in thecontext of an attack from a stranger.
(07:44):
Sexual assault is any unwantedand forced sexual behavior that
happens without a person's consent.
It can include touching, kissingand other sexual acts and it
doesn't have to look violent.
It can happen between two peoplewho are in a romantic relationship
between friends, between familymembers, acquaintances, or strangers.
(08:05):
Anyone can be a victim of sexual assaultand sexual assault is a serious crime.
The third thing I want themto understand is consent.
According to RAINN, consent isan agreement between participants
to engage in sexual activity.
Consent should be clearlyand freely communicated.
A verbal and affirmative expressionof consent can help both you and
(08:29):
the other party understand andrespect each other's boundaries.
Consent cannot be given by anyone who'sunderage drunk incapacitated by drugs
or alcohol or asleep or unconscious.
Also if someone agrees to an activitybecause they're being threatened,
that is not considered consentbecause it wasn't given freely.
And I want them to learn about.
(08:50):
Unequal power dynamics such asbetween a teacher and a student.
Or an employer and an employee.
Those dynamics also mean thatconsent cannot be freely given.
All of these things I didn'tlearn about until I was an adult,
like in my twenties and thirties.
And i really wish i knew them soonerin my teens in junior high school even.
(09:14):
I know these are all heavy topics, so Iplan to talk about them in age appropriate
ways that hopefully won't freak them out.
The important thing isto start the dialogue.
I want them to know what these thingsare, so they're aware and can stand
up for themselves and others, if theyhear or know something is happening.
As for the seven things thatwe can all tell our daughters.
(09:36):
These are things I've compiledafter reading countless articles and
mulling over, ad nauseum what i hopemy daughters learn and eventually
know in their hearts to be true.
Number one.
Trust your gut.
Encourage your daughters torecognize their intuition.
Tell them that if something doesn'tfeel right, it probably isn't.
(09:57):
Encourage them to trust themselvesand their spidey senses and get out of
the situation as quickly as possible.
Teach them to ask themselves, isthis a safe situation to be in.
This will help them think criticallyand holistically about a situation,
not just who they're with or wherethey're going, but kind of big picture.
Even though I'd like to think thattweens and young teens aren't in iffy
(10:19):
situations, I can remember that evenin my sheltered suburban upbringing,
I was in maybe sixth or seventh gradewhen I was first offered alcohol by a
friend's high school aged older brother.
He and his friends were drinkingin the basement when their
parents were at a wedding.
Nothing bad happened.
I didn't feel threatened, my friend and Isteered clear of the basement after that.
(10:40):
But it's a reminder that these situationscan come up when no one's expecting it.
Number two.
You won't get in trouble.
For many tweens and teens, thefear of being punished, keeps them
from sharing with their parents.
So tell them repeatedly that ifthey're ever in a bad situation,
what's more important is that theyshare it with you so you can tackle
(11:01):
the problems and issues together.
This also means trying to listen tothem in a nonjudgmental way, even when
they're not sharing bombshell news.
Keeping a level head when dealingwith life's day to day frustrations
will help your daughter feel saferif she has to share uncomfortable
news at a later point in time.
Number three.
(11:22):
I am always gratefulwhen you share with me.
Kind of piggybackingon the previous point.
Praise your daughterwhen she shares with you.
You want her to know it was okay tocome to you and that you're glad.
This will encourageher to keep doing this.
When she shares with you say.
Thanks for telling me that, or I love whenyou share, no matter how big or small.
(11:44):
Number four.
It's okay to say no.
And you always have the right to say no.
This goes back to the conceptof boundaries and consent.
Help them practice saying no.
Make sure they know that consent isa freely given affirmative yes to
something that's about to happen.
And anything else is a no.
Silence, saying something elsethat wasn't an outright no,
(12:06):
saying yes, beforehand, andthen changing your mind.
Wearing provocative clothes,smiling, flirting, being in a
relationship with someone who thinksthey're entitled to something.
None of this equals a yes.
Number five.
Sexual assault is neverthe victim's fault.
(12:26):
The person who commits sexualassault is solely and fully
responsible for their actions.
Period.
And a story.
Number six.
I will always believe you.
I didn't hear this growing up.
My parents and I didn't reallytalk about sexual assault except
to talk about how to avoid it.
Like don't go to parties alone.
Don't accept drinks from strangers.
(12:48):
And there's just so much that Ididn't know about sexual assault
when I was in my teens and twenties.
But I do know that so many sexual assaultvictims struggle to come forward because
they're afraid they won't be believed.
I hope that by hearing these wordsrepeatedly from me, Then, if something
ever happens to my daughters,there'll be less afraid to come to me.
(13:10):
Number seven.
I am always here for you and Iwill love you no matter what.
Unconditional love is the most powerfulway we can show up for our kids.
I often tell my daughters, I love them,but to be honest, I don't often add
on no matter what, and I'm going tostart doing that because if they don't
hear me say this, they may assume I'llonly love them when they're calm, or
(13:34):
when they've accomplished somethingor haven't made mistakes or they get
good grades or they make me happy.
And we have to let our girlsknow that our love is unwavering
and nothing can take that away.
Remember.
It's important to arm yourkids with knowledge and power.
To protect themselves, even if youaren't familiar with something or you
(13:55):
feel uncomfortable talking about it.
And just like we remember instanceswhen someone didn't say, I'm
sorry, or maybe we know we've neverheard, "I love you no matter what,"
our words carry so much weight.
Our daughters will remember whetherwe had the courage and foresight
to talk to them about importantissues like sexual assault.
(14:16):
And say these phrases that remind themof how important and loved they are and
that you are a safe Harbor for her, evenduring the ugly, sad, disappointing,
or confusing parts of her life.
if you or someone, you know,has been sexually assaulted.
(14:37):
No that you are not alone.
It is not your fault.
And help is available
You can call the RAINN telephone hotline.
1 806, 5, 6 hope or 1-800-656-FOUR 6 7 3.
Or head to rainn.org that's R a I N n.org.
For more resources and information,including an online chat hotline,
(15:01):
a Spanish online chat hotline, andother organizations that can help.
Thanks so much for listening.
I hope you feel a little more informedand empowered by today's episode.
Remember, you're showing up for yourselfand your daughter by learning about
these issues and helping your daughternavigate the world in an informed way.
We are all in this together, andI'm grateful to be in this with you.
(15:25):
If you liked what you heard.
Please share with a friend and leavea review on apple podcasts or Spotify.
And here's to strong women.
May we know them may we bethem and may we raise them
undefined
Be them, raise them.
I show to help moms stand formedand inspired so they can show
up for themselves and theirdaughters the way they want to.
I'm your host Carmelita two.
Join me each week as I cover avariety of topics, all designed to
support mindful, and growth-orientedmoms of girls, especially girls in
their crucial tween and teen years.
(00:24):
If you like what you hear, besure to subscribe, tell a friend
and follow @knowberaisethemon Instagram and Facebook.
Before I head into today's episode,I do want to mention that I'll
be talking about sexual assaultfrom an educational perspective.
There are no personal stories orgraphic experiences, but I do discuss
definitions of sexual assault and consent.
(00:46):
For some, this might be difficult to hear.
Or you may choose not to listento this around young children.
I encourage everyone to assesstheir situations, take care of
themselves, and if you need additionalresources, head to rainn.org.
That's R a I N N dot org orcheck the show notes for links.
(01:10):
So as many of you know, April issexual assault awareness month.
And if you're a woman listeningto this, which you probably
are since most of you are moms.
Chances are as a high school andcollege student, you knew people
who were victims of sexual assault.
Like I did.
It's a sobering personal reminder ofthe pervasiveness of sexual assault.
(01:31):
According to RAINN the rape abuseand incest national network.
And the nation's largestanti-sexual violence organization.
One in five women experienced sexualassault at some point in their lifetimes.
Every 68 seconds, an American is sexuallyassaulted and 90% of victims are female.
And more than 93% of victims ofchild sexual abuse know their abuser.
(01:57):
So while it may be so uncomfortable.
I appreciate that there is a monthto acknowledge and support survivors,
empower us with information, and remindus to educate ourselves and our kids.
For most of us, hopefully all ofus, we already have an awareness
of sexual abuse and what we can doto help prevent it from happening.
(02:18):
So your girls probably already knowsome of the fundamentals that you've
been teaching them all these years.
Like what inappropriate touchingis and how certain parts
of their body are private.
Physical boundaries may alsobe something you've discussed.
I personally had to learnmore about this as an adult.
For instance, I didn't reallyfeel like it was an option not to
(02:39):
hug people, especially relatives.
Growing up.
So it was a learning experiencefor me too, as much as it was
for my girls to think about this.
But as our daughters get olderand progress into their teens, and
their awareness of relationshipsand sex are developing.
I'm realizing a need to talk aboutmore than just sexual abuse, which
(03:00):
is a term mainly used to describe sexcrimes, committed against children.
I also want to start talking about sexualassault, which is more often used to
describe sex crimes against adults andencapsulates what they're more likely
to encounter in high school or college.
These are conversations that on somelevel, I did not want to have this soon.
(03:20):
But at the same time, I know Iwant them to happen sooner than
later, so they aren't blindsided.
If something happens to them or a friend.
And a big part of preventing sexualassault is creating a dialogue early.
So in case it's helpful to you, Icame up with a shortlist of ideas
on when and how to approach thesesubjects because I am someone that
(03:42):
is not very good at just starting arandom conversation about these things.
And I also have some baseline conceptsI'm going to revisit or tell my
daughters for the first time aboutsexual assault and I'll close with the
seven phrases I want to be sure theyhear coming out of my mouth regularly.
(04:03):
So when and how to talkabout sexual assault.
We have to navigate a lotof tough topics as parents.
And so many times I don't thinkto talk about them until a life
event brings it front and center.
But for something like this,where education is empowerment
and can prevent bad things fromhappening, you don't want to wait.
(04:24):
So remember it may never feellike the right or a good time.
Um, but even if it's uncomfortablefor everyone, Forge ahead and persist.
Even if it's awkward.
If your daughter doesn't want totalk about sexual assault at a
particular moment, you can drop it.
But bring it up later.
There could easily be a valid reason shedidn't want to initially engage, like
(04:46):
maybe she was preoccupied with school.
Or trying to finish homework.
Or maybe she's uncomfortable and needsa little time to adjust to the idea
of talking about this topic with you.
But do bring it up again.
And it doesn't have to be out of the blue.
You can use current events orthe content your daughter is
consuming as a conversation starter.
(05:07):
So something like song lyrics and onlinegames can be fodder for discussion.
You can ask, how would youfeel in this situation?
Or I know sometimes peering overmy daughter's shoulder as she's
playing roadblocks, something mighthappen and I'll ask, you know, how
did that make you feel or how wouldyou respond differently next time?
And you can always say somethinglike if something like this ever
(05:29):
happens to you, I hope you know,I want you to come talk to me.
Also talking about safety issues,generally say walking home a certain
way, or being aware of one surroundings,that can be a tie in to talks about
safety in different situations.
Like at parties or gatherings.
Situations where trusting theirgut, et cetera, is really important.
(05:51):
If you find yourself in a discussionabout boundaries in one context, say in
a friendship setting, it can be an easysegue into how to say no clearly, talking
about boundaries and other contextssuch as in a romantic relationship
or on dates and how boundaries area healthy part of any relationship.
You can also share your ownstory in an age appropriate way.
(06:12):
You can say, this is what happened to meand I don't want this to happen to you.
Or there was this time someonetried to do this to me, and here's
how I got out of that situation.
Be sure you aren't blaming orshaming yourself when you're sharing
your story or your daughter mayfeel ashamed and blame herself if
she's ever in a similar situation.
So those are some ideas about how tohave discussions about these topics
(06:36):
in a more organic and natural way.
In terms of understanding sexual assault.
The first thing I'm going toreiterate to my girls is what
their body boundaries are.
Your tween and teen daughters already knowwhat their private parts are and that no
one should touch them inappropriately.
But it's also not okay for someone to askthem or force them to touch someone else's
(06:57):
private parts and it's not okay for peopleto take pictures of their private parts.
This may seem like a no-brainer, butit's a nuance that may not be entirely
clear depending on what their ageis and what they've been exposed to.
And you don't want your girls thinkingthey are somehow at fault or culpable
if a guy grabs her hand and stuffsit down his pants, or someone snaps a
(07:20):
picture of them when they're changing.
I wish I could save these weren't realworld scenarios, but sadly, they are.
The second thing I want them to knowis what exactly sexual assault is.
While I know I've taught my daughtersabout unwanted touching, I'm not
sure they really know what theterm sexual assault encompasses.
They may only think of it in thecontext of an attack from a stranger.
(07:44):
Sexual assault is any unwantedand forced sexual behavior that
happens without a person's consent.
It can include touching, kissingand other sexual acts and it
doesn't have to look violent.
It can happen between two peoplewho are in a romantic relationship
between friends, between familymembers, acquaintances, or strangers.
(08:05):
Anyone can be a victim of sexual assaultand sexual assault is a serious crime.
The third thing I want themto understand is consent.
According to RAINN, consent isan agreement between participants
to engage in sexual activity.
Consent should be clearlyand freely communicated.
A verbal and affirmative expressionof consent can help both you and
(08:29):
the other party understand andrespect each other's boundaries.
Consent cannot be given by anyone who'sunderage drunk incapacitated by drugs
or alcohol or asleep or unconscious.
Also if someone agrees to an activitybecause they're being threatened,
that is not considered consentbecause it wasn't given freely.
And I want them to learn about.
(08:50):
Unequal power dynamics such asbetween a teacher and a student.
Or an employer and an employee.
Those dynamics also mean thatconsent cannot be freely given.
All of these things I didn'tlearn about until I was an adult,
like in my twenties and thirties.
And i really wish i knew them soonerin my teens in junior high school even.
(09:14):
I know these are all heavy topics, so Iplan to talk about them in age appropriate
ways that hopefully won't freak them out.
The important thing isto start the dialogue.
I want them to know what these thingsare, so they're aware and can stand
up for themselves and others, if theyhear or know something is happening.
As for the seven things thatwe can all tell our daughters.
(09:36):
These are things I've compiledafter reading countless articles and
mulling over, ad nauseum what i hopemy daughters learn and eventually
know in their hearts to be true.
Number one.
Trust your gut.
Encourage your daughters torecognize their intuition.
Tell them that if something doesn'tfeel right, it probably isn't.
(09:57):
Encourage them to trust themselvesand their spidey senses and get out of
the situation as quickly as possible.
Teach them to ask themselves, isthis a safe situation to be in.
This will help them think criticallyand holistically about a situation,
not just who they're with or wherethey're going, but kind of big picture.
Even though I'd like to think thattweens and young teens aren't in iffy
(10:19):
situations, I can remember that evenin my sheltered suburban upbringing,
I was in maybe sixth or seventh gradewhen I was first offered alcohol by a
friend's high school aged older brother.
He and his friends were drinkingin the basement when their
parents were at a wedding.
Nothing bad happened.
I didn't feel threatened, my friend and Isteered clear of the basement after that.
(10:40):
But it's a reminder that these situationscan come up when no one's expecting it.
Number two.
You won't get in trouble.
For many tweens and teens, thefear of being punished, keeps them
from sharing with their parents.
So tell them repeatedly that ifthey're ever in a bad situation,
what's more important is that theyshare it with you so you can tackle
(11:01):
the problems and issues together.
This also means trying to listen tothem in a nonjudgmental way, even when
they're not sharing bombshell news.
Keeping a level head when dealingwith life's day to day frustrations
will help your daughter feel saferif she has to share uncomfortable
news at a later point in time.
Number three.
(11:22):
I am always gratefulwhen you share with me.
Kind of piggybackingon the previous point.
Praise your daughterwhen she shares with you.
You want her to know it was okay tocome to you and that you're glad.
This will encourageher to keep doing this.
When she shares with you say.
Thanks for telling me that, or I love whenyou share, no matter how big or small.
(11:44):
Number four.
It's okay to say no.
And you always have the right to say no.
This goes back to the conceptof boundaries and consent.
Help them practice saying no.
Make sure they know that consent isa freely given affirmative yes to
something that's about to happen.
And anything else is a no.
Silence, saying something elsethat wasn't an outright no,
(12:06):
saying yes, beforehand, andthen changing your mind.
Wearing provocative clothes,smiling, flirting, being in a
relationship with someone who thinksthey're entitled to something.
None of this equals a yes.
Number five.
Sexual assault is neverthe victim's fault.
(12:26):
The person who commits sexualassault is solely and fully
responsible for their actions.
Period.
And a story.
Number six.
I will always believe you.
I didn't hear this growing up.
My parents and I didn't reallytalk about sexual assault except
to talk about how to avoid it.
Like don't go to parties alone.
Don't accept drinks from strangers.
(12:48):
And there's just so much that Ididn't know about sexual assault
when I was in my teens and twenties.
But I do know that so many sexual assaultvictims struggle to come forward because
they're afraid they won't be believed.
I hope that by hearing these wordsrepeatedly from me, Then, if something
ever happens to my daughters,there'll be less afraid to come to me.
(13:10):
Number seven.
I am always here for you and Iwill love you no matter what.
Unconditional love is the most powerfulway we can show up for our kids.
I often tell my daughters, I love them,but to be honest, I don't often add
on no matter what, and I'm going tostart doing that because if they don't
hear me say this, they may assume I'llonly love them when they're calm, or
(13:34):
when they've accomplished somethingor haven't made mistakes or they get
good grades or they make me happy.
And we have to let our girlsknow that our love is unwavering
and nothing can take that away.
Remember.
It's important to arm yourkids with knowledge and power.
To protect themselves, even if youaren't familiar with something or you
(13:55):
feel uncomfortable talking about it.
And just like we remember instanceswhen someone didn't say, I'm
sorry, or maybe we know we've neverheard, "I love you no matter what,"
our words carry so much weight.
Our daughters will remember whetherwe had the courage and foresight
to talk to them about importantissues like sexual assault.
(14:16):
And say these phrases that remind themof how important and loved they are and
that you are a safe Harbor for her, evenduring the ugly, sad, disappointing,
or confusing parts of her life.
if you or someone, you know,has been sexually assaulted.
(14:37):
No that you are not alone.
It is not your fault.
And help is available
You can call the RAINN telephone hotline.
1 806, 5, 6 hope or 1-800-656-FOUR 6 7 3.
Or head to rainn.org that's R a I N n.org.
For more resources and information,including an online chat hotline,
(15:01):
a Spanish online chat hotline, andother organizations that can help.
Thanks so much for listening.
I hope you feel a little more informedand empowered by today's episode.
Remember, you're showing up for yourselfand your daughter by learning about
these issues and helping your daughternavigate the world in an informed way.
We are all in this together, andI'm grateful to be in this with you.
(15:25):
If you liked what you heard.
Please share with a friend and leavea review on apple podcasts or Spotify.
And here's to strong women.
May we know them may we bethem and may we raise them
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