Kosher Queers

Kosher Queers

Kosher Queers is a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions! Each week Jaz and Lulav bring you queer takes on Torah.

Episodes

May 13, 2021 53 min

This week, we brought it back around to pornoprophetics by talking about Hoshea. Jaz and Lulav disagree about what level of reality to read the haftarah on, but both agree that the plain reading of this text describes a really gnarly dude being abusive to a sex worker and to their children together. Due to discussion of sexual violence, including descriptions of physical & emotional abuse and mention of a book about sexual abus...

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This week, we were joined by Jill Levinson, Jaz's good friend whose bat mitzvah happened on this Torah portion. We touch on a variety of topics, including BBYO, the nature of man, being a thirsty little desert flower, and cuckoo-lding.

Full transcript here.

Jill's erstwhile band is The Ruach. Also, Jill mentions in passing the School Colors podcast and the season of StartUp about Success Academy. Both of those are good podca...

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This week, we talked hereditary leadership, divorce contracts, and illegal sweat. Plus vows in moderation, righteous people that were maybe actually just power-grabbing, and 5D Chess.?

Full transcript here.

We really enjoyed 5D Chess. Here's a pretty good overview page on Zadok, and here's a good example of a ketubah text with a halachic prenup from Geek Calligraphy. There are a bunch of other options on ketubah.com if you&#...

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This week, we have a special guest on the show, Jaz's friend the Hawk, to talk about ghosts, patriotism, and big parental disses.

Our transcript will be delayed this week unfortunately, but will be up as soon as possible.

The poem Jaz quotes that opens the episode as an epigraph is "You've heard of Ritalin, now what if I told you governments make bodies into crime scenes for no reason at all," by Ray Filar, found in ...

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This week, Jaz has hot takes about major Jewish community events, Elijah's boyfriend says some unnecessarily cryptic stuff, and there are problems with magic systems. Also, there's discussion about magic and then different literary genres for a loooong time, so enjoy that. It even segues into a discussion about the nature of truth, which is always fun. 

Full transcript here.

If you were also at the Trans Jews are Here Conve...

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April 8, 2021 51 min

This week, we discuss the holiness of workplace safety guidelines, the numerous possible interpretations of a woman with too little few lines on-page, deciding not to create a family with an incompatible partner, and suggestively dancing for G-d. 

Full transcript here.

We played five dimensional chess and you can too. Here's "Freedom" by Langston Hughes, which someone brought to our seder. Here's the thing where con...

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April 1, 2021 66 min

On this week's episode of "where jewing it man.", the very real podcast about the webcomic Homestuck that we have definitely been running since September 2019, we're talking about if gender is the same as species, why the Statue of Liberty lasts for billions of years, and as always, what on Earth or Alternia is going on? Anyway, happy April Fools y'all, and thank you for joining us in an alternate universe in wh...

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This week, we talk parallels between guillotines and ritual sacrifice, wrestle with ideas of Messianics and also a messianic age more generally, and point out that we apparently all have the power to rob G-d. Plus, there's a 300 year old prophet, and never a golden age.

Full transcript available here.

If you're interested in hearing more about brin solomon's nonbinary siddur, you can follow brin on Twitter @nonstand...

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This week, we talk about how God needs to give humans scaffolds to learn, holy princes are turned to evil nonsense, a Jewish dude gets a tattoo, and there are some rad name shenanigans. Also, craftspeople are literally magical, but then you gotta take responsibility for the things you create.

Full transcript available here

The first couple seasons of "Ink Master" are available on Netflix. The Shrieking Shack podcast is coo...

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This week, we talk scent sensitivity, princes who are separate from the people, and which parts of gender are worth salvaging. Plus, pet peeves around new gender trinaries and special days in the calendar where the haftarah has literally nothing to do with the parsha (including this week)!

Full transcript here.

Lulav negatively reviews Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. Jaz has a new part-time job at Yente Over the Rainbow, where ...

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March 4, 2021 42 min

This week, we talk pornoprophetics, which is a delight, and I guess some other things too, like the ritual impurity of a menstruator and the follies of C.S. Lewis' naming choices. Plus, being Jewish in public and avoiding a chillul Hashem.

Transcript available here; unfortunately, we're currently only transcribed up to 26 minutes, but will have the rest up shortly.

You can get "I Can't Wait To Finally Meet You" ...

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February 25, 2021 45 min

This week, Isaiah is multiple people, G-d is fractal, and names are everlasting yet malleable and also full of family drama. Plus, converts are important and weather is confusing.

Full transcript here.

There's some more information about the origin of the fast day here and general features of minor fast days like it. Lulav said "quaternary and quintery" and meant "quaternary and quinary." You can also check out ...

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February 18, 2021 51 min

This week, Lulav laughs about the episode number, but then we have to get down to the very serious business of distinguishing between fun gifts and war profiteering. Plus, very sweet eight-year-olds and very unsweet terrible kings. Also, there's lots of music excerpts edited in, so enjoy that.

Full transcript here.

Lulav was listening to "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With G-d)” off of Kate Bush's 1985 album Hounds of Lov...

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This week, we discuss landlords abusing their power, bizarre managerial strategies, and the esoteric details of synagogue finances. Plus, random questions about vegetarianism and deciding not to trust everybody who shares an identity with you.

Full transcript here.

You can check out Travis Alabanza's play "Overflow" here. The song Lulav quote near the end of the episode is "Power" by Kanye West (lyrics here). Yo...

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February 4, 2021 45 min

This week, G-d wears a cute waterfall dress, Isaiah has hot lips, and we all pretend to be angels. Plus, bad survey design and gender-affirming conversion rituals that still involve small amounts of pain on sensitive areas.

Transcript here (still in progress - only finalized through page 9).

Francis Fukuyama wrote a famous book called The End of History and the Last Man, in which he argued that the progression of history was basical...

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January 28, 2021 56 min

This week, there are so many women in the story! By which we mean, a full three women, two of whom even get names. This we also get some sung folktales, a female friend who is too cool for you who you know  is silently or not-so-silently judging you, and intermarried rabbis (meaning, of course, rabbis who marry other rabbis).

Full transcript here.

Lulav recommends Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce by imagitory. She also menti...

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This week, we talked about nations being destroyed and assuming that things will always be the same as they are now and also sang some Woody Guthrie, all while saying almost nothing about the news! Also, some thoughts on fairy cows from an angry man.

Full transcript here.

We encourage saying the shehecheyanu for your first time doing something cool like standing on a frozen lake, but also, not falling in like a March sister in Loui...

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This week, we talk about ancient puns, trust in intentional living communities, the fallacy of safety, and and a cool crocodile. Plus, Lulav really enjoys some fanfiction and does some sewing. 

Full transcript available here.

The fanfic that Lulav re-read recently and was inspired by is Truth and Measure by Telanu on Archive of Our Own.  Also, props to SR Harris, the fabric company that we shopped at for Lulav's T-shirt quilt.

...

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January 7, 2021 38 min

This week, we're talking about visions of apocalypse, and also the name game. Plus, sometimes a prophet tells people that obviously, things aren't going to work out, and they laugh.

Full transcript available here.

This week's reading is Isaiah 27:6–28:13 and 29:22-23.  Next week's reading is Ezekiel 28:25–29:21.

Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Send us questions or comments at kosherqueers@gmail.com, follow us on ...

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This week, we talk about a king's hitlist, deathbed revenge speeches, trusting the state, and the dubious nature of certain Jewish claims to indigeneity.

Full transcript here.

Jaz made a knitted item using the pattern "Mountain Capelet" by Purl Soho. Here's the Matisyahu song that Lulav referenced, "Jerusalem," and here are its lyrics. Yerushalayim shel Zahav, which Jaz references, is a different famous song...

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