EP 43- We Explore The Eerie Back Rooms and Laugh At The World's Most Incompetent Thieves

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, you think darkness is your ally.
You merely adopted the dark.
I was born in it, molded by it.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
I see death.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Welcome across the cold family.
It's your co-host, yael, withmy boy, the one and only Mr
Reverante oh.
Mr Reverante, okay, that'sright.
Oh, that's your boyfriend abitch.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
He ain't shit he can.
Oh, mr Reverente, okay, that'sright.
Oh, okay, because yourboyfriend a bitch.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
He ain't shit, he gets up on my dick.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
While he.
Do you like this?
No, I was listening to thatsong today at work.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
I was about to say who the fuck sings that.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
What's his name?
Fucking Krispy Kreme, leap Fry,fresh, or whatever his name was
Krispy Kreme, cream,leapfryfresh or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
His name was Kool Z Kroop.
No, I don't know that.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
You look so good in that sundress.
It goes some shit like that.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Oh, I'm going to have to check that out.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
All right, no, but how y'all doing?
How's everybody doing?
Y'all doing good today, Y'alldoing good.
Y'all had a good week.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
All leave.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Talk now, talk now.
They're all dead.
If you're listening to thisepisode, it's because you died,
so welcome to the afterlife.
Today we're going to beteaching you on how no, I'm just
joking On how to come back tolife.
Let me look at the stats realquick.
Let me look real quick.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
We're looking at the numbers.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Our numbers went down , did they?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yeah, numbers went down.
Please, people, we try toappease everybody.
They didn't like the lastepisode.
Bro, what we talked about lastepisode, uh, they got ken at.
That's what it was.
Bro, dwayne has got him brothat's what we're gonna say for
now, when we start losingnumbers, when he's got him, bro,
no spread of the add-on it'llbe all right.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, it's because people like we get most of the
listens from like previousepisodes, oh, okay, but I keep
track of, like the recentepisodes, the current ones.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
That's what I keep track of.
Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
But I mean, our numbers ain't too bad.
It actually went up like in thesense of Y'all hear that here
first.
In the sense of all wrong Inthe market baby 2025, we in and
we out, you go rich, you gobroke the next day.
You ever seen a homeless?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
millionaire you have in Los Angeles.
Holy shit, live right in frontof you.
You seen a homeless millionairein Los Angeles, bro.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Who let that flower bear head?
What Homeless million you everseen?
A homeless millionaire you havein Los Angeles Because of the
fires they have no home.
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I guess somebody left their funny box.
No, I'm just messing, but it'sjust a joke, y'all.
You know my heart goes out toall the people out there.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Still.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Facing the fires and everything.
You know we're just joking, butum how y'all doing?
Hope everybody's doing good.
You know what it is?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
episode 44, I think, 44 right, 40, it was just 34.
The other day it just was, bro,it was just 34 fuck, let me
check real quick another statcheck let's see is is 43 today's
episode 43.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
oh, this Okay okay, Last one was 42.
All right, but before we startoff you know what time it is we
got to check up on each other,feel each other a little bit.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Got to see what it was, got to make sure it's all
dead.
Still the same size, right.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Make sure it hasn't been used.
We're going to be like theDallas Cowboys Make sure it Let
me smell it, let me smell it,uh-uh.
Pull it back.
Uh-uh, you were somebody else,I bet.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Bro, I just seen that on Instagram.
That's not my pH balance.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
That's not the stuff I use.
Mine got sting to it Ew.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh hell, no, Bro, you ever seen Backdoor?
It's this Mexican show.
Well, yeah, mexican.
It's on YouTube.
They be doing like skits, it'slike SNL type of thing, but they
be doing like Mexican skits.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh wait.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
I think I sent you some of their stuff.
I think the famous one rightnow.
They even got a show on Netflix.
The famous one was the officerthat goes and takes the I know
what you're talking about now.
Yeah, you know what I'm talkingabout.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
They got bought out by Comedy Central or something
like that.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Oh did they?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
They got bought out by some big company.
Oh shit, I want to say they didfor like, they got like brought
on.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, took under or whatever you want to call it.
Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Big corporations like all right, you know we.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
We're going to give y'all a show or some show Type
shit, I think they did, if it'sthem.
That's probably how they gotthe show on Netflix, bro,
because they got a-.
Oh yeah, then they did.
Yeah, okay, damn bro, but-.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
That's pretty cool though bro Right how you see
them start like as a small, likeproduction company or whatever
you want to call it, like groupof friends or the way they act
and everything Right, and thenfor them to like continue on in
their journey and then finallylike achieve like a big, yeah,
big status, yeah, yeah, yeah,that's pretty cool right there,

(05:10):
yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
And I mean they still stay funny and consistent with
their.
Well, I haven't seen anythingrecently, recently, but when I
was watching it was a funny one.
It just reminded me of likestarted sucking the dude off.
Oh yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah, bro, and then even thedude came in, didn't he Did?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
the dude come in too.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Oh was he, Because they were talking about like nah
, this ain't the soul.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh, no, no, no, Nah, this ain't.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
And then her friend?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
No, it was her friend .
What is a man to do In thissituation?
What is a?

Speaker 1 (05:45):
man to do, bro, but just Just sit there.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
He's just trying to prove His innocence, right?
Am I a bad man To try and provemy?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
innocence.
I did not sleep With that woman, y'all.
I did not Come here, suck it,taste it.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Some of that.
Bill Clinton, bro, that's whatthat is, that's what they call
that.
But um, how was your week, bro?
How you doing?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
So it was good bro.
Really can't complain, bro.
It was uh.
Well, it was a little slow, butuh.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Oh, it was finally slow for y'all.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, it was just cause I think the jobs Are like
moving around.
You know, when everybody Startslike Nah, give me two more
weeks, nah, give me another week, but um length, kind of yeah,
kind of sort of at your place,though.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
That's what I meant.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Like, yeah, yeah, my place, yeah, yeah so, uh, but
yeah, nothing, nothing too crazy, really.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay, that was about it what you doing your time off,
then no, that's, that's perfectwith all the work that you do,
bro.
I mean, I just live, you gottacatch up.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
I got up, I said, yeah, it's too early, it's too
early for this and I, yeah, Ijust went back to bed I don't
blame you, bro, I would've donethe same thing but what you got,
bro, this time was a littleboring for me.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
This time I don't know you, good me, you already
know what the fuck got going on.
Not shit, I ain't got nothinggoing on, bro.
Like I said, I I just beenchilling.
You know day to day shit bro.
You know day-to-day shit bro.
You know I just come home,we'll go to work, come home,
take care of the dogs, scream atthe dogs and just do like

(07:10):
chores, like not chores, butlike do random.
I mean not random stuff.
Daily duties Okay, clothes,we'll wash your clothes, fold
clothes, sweep, go away trash.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Just just, just just grown man.
Shit, really Adult shit, justadult shit.
I used to never have to do this, shit man.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
All I had to do was throw my book bag on the ground,
get on that Xbox 360, game tillthree in the morning.
That's all I had to do.
Oh, Now I kind of.
I'm over here checking the oilon my car.
Damn it, I need some more oil.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Goes out there cold as shit.
Just just the house slippers on, don't even got your jacket on,
just got your morning shit on.
For real, bro, that should bemad as shit, because you gotta,
you gotta, go get oil now,before before you go to go to
work, I'll be.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
I'll be standing looking out the window like them
girls.
They'd be like when, when youfinally get that moment of
silence and you remember your,your whole days or some shit
like that and they're like momsnow or whatever.
That's just Roxy.
Oh okay, they're like moms, butthey're reminiscent of their
wild times.
Me looking off into thedistance remembering my wild
times.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Just a three in the morning Xbox session Just three
in the morning, xbox session.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Doing nothing, just chilling, laughing, screaming.
That's pretty much it, bro.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
It's crazy how that shit changes, huh.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's crazy.
For me it's worth it.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
It was just a kid yesterday, bro.
That's how it feels like.
That's really how it feels like, bro, I mean it's all good.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I mean it's worth it though, Having a kid and
everything I enjoy it.
It's tough, but I do enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Nah, I know.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
It is rewarding.
But all right, that's enough ofthat.
So today we're going to givey'all some good ha-ha-hee-hees,
some good topics.
Let them know what the firsttopic is for today, y'all.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
What do you want to make the first?

Speaker 2 (08:57):
We'll do the dumb Dumb Criminals 1.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Check this out.
Y'all Check this out.
This really is a good one,Because what better?
Everybody likes a good criminalstory.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Right, everybody likes a good crime Right.
On some Ocean 12, ocean 11.
On some Ocean 12.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Y'all remember seeing cops and shit.
Y'all know, right, justwatching that shit, fox 8 News.
You know, just watching thatshit.
But what better if not dumb?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
criminals, right, just motherfuckers that want to
do crime but they're not good atit.
They're just.
They're not even dumb.
These are average people, justaverage people.
This is the average mancommitting a crime just average,
just an average.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Dude doing shenanigans, just an average
dude trying to rob the liquorstore.
You know just just nothing,just nothing to it, just nothing
to it.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
You want to lead off onto the first story?
Then I got a couple for you,but I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, I got a couple too.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
I mean they're not too long.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, they're not long.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
I mean because it's a dumb crime.
It's a dumb crime.
We came.
This is not a masterful, thiswas, were not involved.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
This, this this all right, but this is an open and
shut case.
This, this is, this is look,look.
I'm going to start you off withan easy one Look, we got, we
got, we got Derek mostly.
So when you do a crime, youknow you would think planning is
it's an important step of theof said crime.
I would guess I've nevercommitted a crime.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
But uh.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I've never got caught when committing a crime.
Oh shit, oh shit.
Um, derek mostly didn't placevery high points on these things
and before he decided to rob agun store, armed with only a
baseball bat seeing as it was agun shop the manager pulled the
gun on him.
The would-be robbery kept himon the crosshairs until
authorities arrived.
You can't.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Look, nah, he was bold, though.
Look, he was the.
That is a determined thief man.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
use what he had.
He's a resourceful motherfucker.
All he had on him at the timewas a bat.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, if you think about it, the distance he had
with the bat to gun pointingratio, if he was quick enough he
could hit the gun out of thedude's hand.
Then just hit the dude on thehead on some cartoon shit.
Bonk, Knock him out.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
No.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
If I can use cartoon logic, he should have won that.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, that's why he got caught.
I'm telling you, that's why hewas taken.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Or just do what everybody does Put your finger
in the barrel, then the gundoesn't work.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Everybody knows If it's out of battery it will not
work.
Everybody knows that.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Everybody knows If you put your finger in the
barrel, then the backsideexplodes.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
The backside explodes , or the barrel just gets really
big and just blows up insideand we pull the finger out.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
And a little tongue comes out, then everybody has
gunpowder on their face andthey're just bunch of funny
dudes.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
That's what I would do.
That's just me, though.
That's just.
That's just, that's just us.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
When did it end up happening to the dude then?

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Oh, that arrested him ?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, but like did he get like 30 days a year?

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Oh, I didn't see, I didn't look up if they got.
But I didn't look up if theygot.
But yeah, the dude just gotarrested.
He got arrested, y'all.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought Let mego rob this gun store real quick
with my baseball bat With a bat, didn't even go through the
back door, didn't sneak aroundnothing.
He said they got guns.
Homie just went through thefront door.
They don't have the bullets inthe guns, though.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
The bullets on the walls.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Bullets in the guns, though the bullets on the walls,
I see them, I can see the logic, though he just like me.
That's really just like mybrain cells wandering off by
themselves if they were a person.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
I know that motherfucker probably walked in
there.
Bullets over here, guns overthere.
I got enough time before hegets in them bullets Unarmed man
.
That's perfect logic.
Man Y'all telling me that's notgood logic.
He pulled up to the bulletswith the bat in hand, garnered
that shit like all right.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
So let me tell y'all mine this is from.
This is called the facebookburglar.
Facebook burglar this isnicholas wig, age 26 at the time
this is is in South Paul,Minnesota.
He had a little bit of acriminal history, you know
several minor offenses, butnothing quite as gnarly or as
dumb as this.
So on June 19, 2014, around 8.15am, homeowner James Wood left

(13:18):
his home to run errands.
Surveillance footage from aneighbor's ring-style doorbell
showed a man in a hoodie lurkingnear the back door.
Around 10 am, wig pried open abasement window, crawling into
the home.
Police reports noted muddyfootprints throughout the house
indicating he wandered into roomI mean from room to room,
rummaging through drawers andclosets.
The dude ended up selling $500in cash, credit cards, clothing,

(13:41):
a watch and sunglasses.
So inside the home office, wignoticed the desk, noticed a
desktop computer left powered on.
Police report said wig loggedinto his personal facebook
account, either out of sheerboredom or to message someone
for a ride.
After sending a message hewalked away and left the browser
open with this full profilephoto name, birthday, recent

(14:03):
check-ins all visible wholegenius, but whole ho genius bro,
ho madman.
He said damn, what the fuckthey got going on in the book
right now.
Let me go check, bro.
Hey, bro, made a quick status.
Bro, check this.
Hitting the most devious lickright now.
Lol, it's like when you workand you check your phone, bro,
for your bed.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Ben Heiss, this is what the fuck they got going on.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
I know Keisha ran hey , come pick me up money.
Good.
So when James Wood returned, heimmediately saw the mess and
went to check his computer.
Seeing a stranger's Facebookprofile open, wood took a
screenshot for evidence andposted directly to Wig's wall.
You left your Facebook loggedin on my computer.
You are one dumb criminal.

(14:44):
Incredibly nah, it did on thebook we replied to the post
saying hi, hi, yeah, I did.
Sorry about that.
So that's actually evidence.
Like the police tookscreenshots of that.
Yeah, you caught me.
Lol, my bad ain't no way.
Yeah, you caught me, ain't noway.

(15:05):
So they did a whole stingoperation, holy shit.
So the owner like the homeowneror whatever he negotiated with
the dude who robbed him to likemeet up so the dude would return
some of the things that hestole, and they agreed to meet,
like at a nearby park orwhatever, and the dude had, like
the police waiting in likeregular clothes for the dude to
show up and like give him someof the stuff that he had.

(15:25):
Boom, they booked him rightthere.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Well, the crazy part is the motherfucker actually
agreed to going back and gettinghis stuff.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
When he did show up, though, like when he showed up
to the park, the dude waswearing the guy's jeans, his
watch and then his sunglassesTight shit.
He said you know, this bitch gocrazy.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
You sunglasses, tight shit.
He said you know this fit gocrazy.
Just copped him.
Hey, he like me when I was alittle kid, as soon as, as soon
as I got out at a warm-up withthat, with that new uh shirt on,
I'm putting that shit on, bro.
Not even getting washed, bro.
You know that shit wasn't evenwashed, bro.
He put that shit on right sothe outcome?

Speaker 2 (15:57):
the dude got second degree burglary, trespassing and
theft.
He got 90 days in jail, oneyear.
The judge called it the mosttechnologically, technologically
incompetent burglary I've everseen.
Hell, no bruh.
Before we go on to the nextthing off the record.
Who said off the record?

(16:18):
Off the record.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
So if you say off the record, you can't get
prosecuted for it.
Off the record.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
In a what if?
Scenario.
In a crazy scenario.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
What is?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
something that you have robbed or stolen In a what
if?

Speaker 1 (16:33):
situation Hypothetically speaking.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Hypothetically, if you were younger, statue of
limitations is already gone.
If you were younger, what issomething that?

Speaker 1 (16:40):
you would have stolen .
Let me break it down to you.
Let me tell you how I got awaywith the biggest height of 05,
bro.
So let me tell you, it reallywasn't crazy.
It was just I wanted somepencils, I wanted some new.
I about went over jail withsome lab pencils, bro.
So the thing was 0.7 or 0.9?
Was it 0.5?
Was it 0.9?

Speaker 2 (16:58):
or 0.7?
0.9.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Was it 0.7?

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Was it 0.9?

Speaker 1 (17:03):
0.7.
My go-to was always 0.7.
0.7.
Well, you 0.5?
Bro this shit breaking, bro,this shit breaking every time
you press down.
Bro, what the fuck you doingusing 0.5 at school?
At school, that's like aprofessional saying, that's like
office pencil 0.9, you a big .7is just that.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
It was .9 and .7, right and .5, right.
Yeah, I think I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, those were the three, I'm pretty sure.
But .9, okay, you have big, old, meaty fingers.
If you were using .9, bro,that's cannot be using that bro.
But so I wanted some .7 pencils, but it had a hole.
They were inside of a plasticencasing type shit, right.
So I was like damn bro, Becauseusually usually not that I used

(17:50):
to do this or not, but usuallyyou know the thing was you want
to get it out of the package.
So when you walk past thescanners they want to beep.
So that was a hole.
You try to take off the tags.
Well, these were like in thehard plastic type shit.
How we gonna do this, bro, howwe gonna do this, right, so you
gotta use what's around you.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
No, no, you put it back.
You went home, pulled out the,the tack board.
What's it called the sport?

Speaker 1 (18:12):
the corkscrew, uh-huh had put.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
You put a picture of the pencils, had like a whole
schematic of the whole building.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Had the build, yeah, had the building, everything.
Had the security and everythinghad the security routines,
their shift routines andeverything it was like my little
toys were using as the littlemannequins for them I was, so I
was like, alright, how am Igonna get these out?
Nice ass pencil I'm talkingabout like $12 ass pencil back
in the day back in it was just aregular big pencil back in the

(18:43):
day.
It was that good mechanical, itwas like that good with the
rubber grip and everything on it.
Oh shit, Okay it was like one ofthe big good ones, like one of
the good mechanical pencils.
I said, bro, how am I going toget this?
How am I going to get this?
I need a knife or something.
I said, where else can I find aknife or something?

Speaker 2 (18:59):
In the middle of the store.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
In the middle of the store.
So check this out, check thisout.
I went over there to like youknow how I got the little
construction site, likeconstruction station, where you
can get like tools and stufflike that.
They got blades there, let meput you on game, though.
So they ain't regular blades,you know.
You got to get the bladerefills because the blade
refills are not, because if youget a regular blade, it has a
bunch of plastic and shit allover too, which you need to get
the blade refills.
That's just behind somecardboard.

(19:27):
You can just pop it open likethat.
So I took one, took one of theblades, cut the plastic thing,
took the pencils Damn Wholeheist.
You took all the pencils, yeah,just the ones I needed.
I didn't take like 40.
I wasn't about to start sellingthese bitches.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
I didn't take like 40 .
I wasn't about to start sellingthese bitches.
You better to me, bro.
I used to have four.
Bro, I would have owned half ofthe school with those pencils.
Can't be going too crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
I would have been the school supplier for pencils
Come on man, the kids they need,the education man FBI would
have pulled up.
You wouldn't know anythingabout a bunch of .7 pencils
going missing with you.
Oh no, Some little kid, Somelittle kid.
Hey, hey, let me buy one ofthem.
Pez's off you.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Right there from the FBI agents.
Right there bro, we got to bookthem Right there.
Just look, take your mugshotpicture.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
Right, they will put the muzzle on you and everything
bro.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Shackle your feet.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Shackle your feet, Everything bro, bro, who really
whole criminal out there, hey,and I never got caught.
And I never got caught.
Oh no, I got caught, not no,okay, so I didn't steal from the
store.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
But I well, no, this is a what if scenario.
Okay, yeah, all of this is whatif?
All of this is what?
Off the record, this is animagination scenario.
So I went to, uh, like my godbrother's house in raleigh.
They would always have likespare chains thrown on the
ground.
I don't if they were liketrying to be cool and do
something, or I don't know, Justthrown yeah they literally had
like half dollars golden dollarsquarters.
Just thrown on the ground likeon the carpet.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh, that's it.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
No, I'm talking about the whole.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
I'm licking your house clean, though I'm bro.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
No, that's what I did .
Oh, that's what you did.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
At least like 12 dollars from them or something
oh shit, yeah, just from pickingit up, hey, they throw it on
the ground.
They don't want you.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
I said damn, I'm taking these right pocket ching,
ching.
They ain't say nothing to me,though, all right, at least not
for that right, all right.
So they had a nintendo 64, Ihad a nintendo 64.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
It wasn't mine, but it was ours, like my family's or
whatever.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
So I thought, damn, I don't have that game.
This is a good game.
I don't have this game.
I would like that.
I would like to play this gameat home.
I go to my god brother hey, canI, can I borrow this game?
I'll bring it back.
No, no, because your mom saysit's too violent.
James Bond 007 is not tooviolent.

(21:46):
This is a super secretoperative.
He is, in fact, not too violent.
It is not too violent themoment you die your blood, your
screen goes bloody, or whatever,when you die.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh, it does, though, oh shit.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
You go, oh, and then the screen is like red.
What a time though that shitwas like.
What a time though that shitwas like.
What a super realistic right.
It's like, damn the blood superrealistic.
James bond's face was ultrarealistic, bro.
The guns, that shit looked likecolor duty skin.
To me, bro, that shit looks sogood.
The rectical on the freakingsniper rifle, when you, oh my

(22:18):
the aiming, oh, you could getbetter than this who said who's
the?
don't, don't make it like theyused to the war, bro.
This was peak gaming, bro, forme as a kid.
Bro, I was like, bro, this isthe best bro, it ain't going to
get no better than this.
So I was like I need this game.
So I was like, all right.
He said no, me being me, I needthe game.
So I got the itches.
I had the little devil on thatone on my shoulder, right, right

(22:40):
, right.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
You should take it home and play it.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Little Angel.
No, you should put it back andask your parents to get you it,
or just wait.
Wait, Little Devil, put it inyour pocket.
He ain't going to see it Meover here.
I should have put it in mypocket.
He ain't going to see it.
I put that thing in my pocketMe a little ass kid bro.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Whole big ass, big ass the tic-tac-toe 64.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Uh, cartilage, cartilage, cartilage, yeah,
cartridge, cartridge.
There you go, poke, poking outof my, poking out of my freaking
pocket.
I walk right past him.
He's like hey, where you going.
He pulled me to the side.
He's like come over here, sitright here.
I was like what he's?
Like what you, what you doing?
I was was like nothing.
I was like whole beetle juice,nothing, nothing, just chilling.
I was like no, just chilling.

(23:30):
He said, oh, that's cool,that's cool.
He said he said where you aboutto head, like where you about
to head to.
I was like I'm just going tothe park, I'm just play okay,
okay, what you got in yourpocket, bro, I froze, bro, I
froze.
I was like I pulled my otherpocket.
I was like nothing.
I showed up my other pocket.

(23:51):
I was like ain't nothing inhere.
Chief whole moth just flew out.
What about the other one?
The moth was the oracle.
He was no.
He was like uh, what they had?
Like overwatch, we, we gotcaught.
I got to get out of here.
But then he reached into mypocket, pushed my balls to the

(24:13):
side and said what is this?
He said I could hear under hisbreath Jesus Christ.
And then he pulled out the Hookof idiot.
Hook of idiot.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I say he was jealous, that's why he was picking on me
.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
You know, he caressed him a little bit, shuffled him
around.
He said, nah, this ain't, thisain't what I'm looking for.
He said, piece of shit, I wishmy mom were there.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Now I'm definitely gonna bust him said piece of
shit.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I wish my mom were there.
Now I'm definitely going tobust him.
And then so he like took the.
He took the game out of mypocket.
He's like so what is this?
I'm like how'd that get there?
Be over here, my brother shouldhave.
My brothers might have put thatin my pocket.
I hate when they do that to me.

(25:07):
They always try to set me up.
Oh my God, they always try toset me up.
I wanted the game.
Can y'all blame?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
me.
Can y'all blame a simple manfor wanting the game?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Y'all would have done the same thing, am I right?

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Shit, Shit.
I'm trying to remember the timeI did something like that, but
no, so this isn't the first time, bro.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
I got plenty of stories like this.
I hit licks on multiple games.
Oh shit, almost hit a lick onone of the movie stories, but I
got lucky because I didn't hitthe lick.
I didn't know they put thething, they didn't put the game
inside the box until you went tocheck it out.
I was about to take a wholeempty case.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
That would have been the worst.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
bro Me over here I get the crazy lick Empty ass
bikes.
Holy shit, bro.
But so he was like what you got, whatever, you know, he caught
me, so he's like put it back inmy room.
Him being the dummy that he was, he sent me by myself to put it
in the room.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
So what I did was you know I put it back.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
You know I literally took it in my pocket, put it
down, then put it right back on.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Ain't no way.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
That shit was crazy.
That shit did not.
My hand did not want to let gobro Ain't.
No way my body was thatdedicated, bro.
The evil took over me, bro.
I'm over here, ain't?
No way took over me.
You know, I was like.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I was like I was putting it back.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
I was like you know I shouldn't be stealing.
Then my eyes rolled back I'mtaking this, I'm taking this
home.
It's becoming mine.
What?

Speaker 1 (26:31):
was the whole grilling bro.
I blacked out bro.
He could not not take the gamebro.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
That's the whole cracking bro, at the age of six,
seven I can't remember how oldI was All you had to do was not
take it.
All you had to do was just letit go.
I put it back.
I took it out of my pocket.
I said, what?
That shit does not want to comeout of my hand?
Who gets that little kid shit?
Well, it won't come home withme then.

(26:56):
So I put it back in my pocket.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
But this time I was being strategic.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Okay, I like put it back in my pocket.
But I pushed my pocket backlike that or some shit, and then
I just walk, like with my handsto my side, but like this, so
like, so I was walking todo,todo hotito bro I was doing like
a runway walk.
I was doing a runway walk withmy hands on my sides.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Work it, work it, Work it, work it, work, it, work
it In Hollywood Work it work it.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
It's like you know how the heist has, like the girl
that distracted people, thatwas me.
That's how it was, work it.
Why is he fucking walking likethat?
Uh-huh, work it, girl, work it.
Uh-uh.
I want to catch on.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
What the fuck yo Fruity Ass?
Let me check your pockets.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
That's the most suspicious shit ever.
I didn't get past thecheckpoint what?

Speaker 2 (27:51):
the fuck.
Nah.
So, but this time I was being alittle bit more strategic,
right?
So first it was just him on thecouch.
Until you know, I had a wholestakeout, bro, you thought about
it Silly fool.
Yeah, that's what I was like,Bro.
I already know what to do, Bromy IQ level was out of charge.
He wanted the game.
He wanted that game.

(28:11):
It's mine.
It's mine, it's calling my name, that save file.
I left the save file on there,so it's mine now.
So I was like I'm just going tochill in here till it's time to
go tight shit.
I was like who just gonna waitit out, I'll wait it out.
My mom's like.
She was like it's time to go.
She's like whatever, it isright out there.
Yes, mother little, reverencelittle reverence right, little

(28:35):
little, uh, whole heist, wholegoblin reverence yes my dear,
you summon me.
And then she was like it's timeto go home.
You know, I'm over, justpeeking out of his room I'm like
, okay, she's like hurry up,everybody's getting in the car.
So she was saying goodbye to mygod brother and like everybody

(28:56):
was hugging each other that wasthe time.
I was like it's now or neverI'll be over here hyping myself
up.
It's now or never.
And bro I sped, walked so fastpast everybody and he saw my
pocket and he was going to getup.
But the mom said, no, where areyou going to sit back down?
You got to say goodbye to heror whatever to my mom.
And he was like bro, I ran past, went inside the Suburban.

(29:19):
I mean, yeah, I think, wentinside the freaking.
Probably a I don't went insidethe freaking, probably a van or
whatever we had at the time,jumped in the van, jumped in the
very back seat, threw that shitout of my pocket, put it on the
floor underneath the seat.
No way, whole heist completed.
No way, whole heist completed.
Tight shit, holy fuck.
If I'm not mistaken, I think hedid say something.
So my mom came up to me like so, um, your godbrother said that

(29:43):
you stole his game or whatever.
Do you have anything in yourpockets?
No, no, I don't have anything.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
You was ready for that too.
I don't have anything?

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Me with my pocket chain?
I don't have anything.
I don't have anything.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
He's smiling, he's smiling all the time.
I don't care though.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Hold on.
I had the tears in my eyes, bro.
Hold the tears in my eyes, bro.
Oh no, they said just leave it,he has too many games, he don't
need to know anymore, orwhatever.
Bro, I had the biggest lick ofmy life, bro, that's how I got
007.
Not the 07.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Not getting the 007 while running the 007 on the.
That's right, holy shit.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Bro, that ride home from Raleigh was sweet bro sweet
victory as soon as my stepdadhit the hit the highway.
You knew I reached underneaththe the I reached underneath the
seat and said damn boys had totake out the cigarette.
Candy, take it out it pays.
It pays to be this good mybrother's like what you got

(30:40):
there?
007, 007, chief, check it outfresh off the press.
Everybody's like whoa, how'dyou get that?
You don't ask, you just enjoy.
No, I didn't do all that, Ijust showed them.
They're like whoa, how'd youget that?
I was like I don't know, Ifound it, we played of that.

(31:02):
As soon as we got home, click,click.
Never got caught to this day,bro.
Holy shit, ultimate heist, bro.
Ultimate heist.
What?

Speaker 1 (31:13):
a heist bro.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Bro, I tell you my IQ was crazy, bro.
I'm a big brain, bro.
I've hit multiple licks likethat before.
I got different other stories.
But enough of that, bro, enoughof that, holy shit, I don't
want to get 25 to life, allright.
So what you got, bro, what yougot Nothing now, nothing.
After that, we said dumbcriminals.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
We said, dumb, not the most masterful plans ever
created.
See, all this gonna look likeshit.
Man sitting there, a kid, mindy'all.
A kid got away with one of thebiggest heists in history and
it's here to tell the tale.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
In the flesh.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Not like this next story 17-year-old dumb
motherfucker in Omaha, nebraska.
His name is Manga Manga.
He decided to stick a gun inthe face of a woman who was
taking her son to school,demanding that she give him her
car.
Of course she obliged, and theboy was about to take off when
he realized the car had a manualtransmission which he was

(32:14):
unable to drive.
He tried to fumble around withthe controls, but after moving
the car only a matter of yardsin a few minutes, he decided to
bow on foot but was eventuallycalled by authorities.
Damn bro All because he didn'tknow how to drive a manual.
I remember that when I wasyounger that was one of my.
I was like bro, I want to learnhow to drive a manual.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
At the age of five.
At the age of five, bro, I wantto learn how to drive a manual.
Papa Caro Vroom.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Orita, rita, bro, because I think that was like.
That's what everybody startedsaying, like as cars were
becoming automatic andeverything, it's like nobody's
going to be able to drive manual.
Nobody's going to be able todrive manual.
Now, look at, 17-year-old.
Wasn't able to drive manual,bro.
Was not able to skate bro.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Damn.
I heard something like thatbefore too like happens
constantly, bro.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
They see the whole stick shit.
What the fuck is this, hey?
Why is it?
Three pedals?
Right, bro?
To be fair, you, you know howto drive stick shit, don't you?

Speaker 2 (33:11):
I'm not that good at it, but once I get going I'm
good.
It's just starting juststarting, okay, okay I get my
revs to uh clutch right orwhatever okay, because if you
don't do it right, then thewhole car goes like it just
jumps like that and they'll cutoff on you.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
Okay, yeah, that was my biggest fear also, because
that's what Cheatham would saythat if you don't do it right,
your car would start turning off.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
I mean, but you just cut it back on.
Yeah, but it's just likethere's nothing you can fuck up
on the cage.
There you go.
That means it's not hard to fix, oh, okay, okay, you people
tend to burn their clutches outokay, did you ever learn?

Speaker 1 (33:48):
no, no, no, I didn't learn.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
I'm about to learn tomorrow but I remember I didn't
learn, but then my uncle, theyhad me driving big ass ford with
the bobcat tied to the back,bruh, big ass, fucking trailer,
fucking bobcat.
I think we had the ding onthere or some shit, or probably
just the bobcat.
Bro, I don't know how to drivea stick.
She's like you got it me overand the freaking that thing

(34:11):
would not grab the gears bros.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
All you heard was oh damn, that's that noise, that's
the, that's the one.
Motherfuckers can't grab theyeah with that, because you're
not changing it right, oh okaybut they said that, said that
they wouldn't grab one of thegears or whatever.
Oh, so they already knew it.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Yeah, oh, okay, okay, it was already fucked up, so
I'm over here.
Oh, that's oh damn In themiddle of the road, bro, whole
green light Middle of the road.
Yeah, like it was like midwaythrough.

(34:50):
I'm like, oh no, bro, that'swhere my anxiety started bro
that's where I finally got myanxiety.
Oh, he's like, just relax, calmdown.
He's like you'll be all right.
But I was okay.
But I didn't feel like, relax,we're gonna die.
No, we're gonna die,everybody's gonna hit us.
So I'm like, fuck bro, I gottahurry up and move.
So my ass fucking stepped on.
It hit, hit that clutch.
I felt like Vin Diesel.
I was gone, bro, damn.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
You better make that shot.
Damn bro, that man worked youunder pressure.
You gotta do it.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah, you right, that shit was awful, bro.
Let me tell you about this oneHope.
You thought I was a genius.
Check this genius out oh, lordthis is called the identity
crisis heist.
All right.
So this is michael harrell, 54at the time.
This is in cleveland, ohio.
Criminal record minor offensesshoplifting, disorderly conduct

(35:39):
but nothing major until now.
So on august 2nd 2019, at atthe US Bank branch in Cleveland,
ohio, around 11 am, haroldentered the bank Witness,
including the teller, exceptthere was a twist.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
The demand note was written on the back of a
document.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Harold found in his pocket.
Ain't no way His own birthcertificate had his full name,
date of birth, social securityprinted on the paper.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yo, what the fuck, oh my.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
God.
One witness was like a personin line there like I thought it
was some kind of a prank whobrings their birth certificate
to rob a bank.
Who carries it in his pocket umpolice, have the note as
evidence or whatever.
And on the note it said this isa robbery.
Give me all your money, don'ttry nothing or I'll shoot.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Oh shit oh tight shit , oh shit, violent.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
So the bank surveillance camera clearly
showed harold handing over thenote with the birth certificate
visible on the back.
According to the teller'swritten statement, she noticed
the name of birthday right awayand thought is this real life?
This is his birth certificate.
She gave him a small amount ofmoney a standard tactic.
A standard tactic to avoidviolence and activated the
silent alarm.

(36:59):
Meanwhile, she discreetlycopied his full name and
birthday into the bank'sinternal incident system.
Within minutes, the fbi violentcrimes task force had his full
identity thanks to his ownpaperwork.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Bro, what the fuck so .

Speaker 2 (37:13):
CCTV footage shows that the bank's cameras captured
his face clothing even themoment he handed the birth
certificate.
Note Footage showed himleisurely walking out.
So investigators ran his namethrough their system, found his
current address just a mile awayfrom the bank.
So by 3 pm the same day, haroldwas arrested at his home still
wearing the same clothes seen inthe footage.

(37:34):
When asked why he used hisbirth certificate, harold
reportedly said I just need apaper and grab what I had you
didn't bother double check itlike he had.
He used what he had, bro, hejust like me.
So in the surveillance video Imean they had like evidence
inside the bank, outside thebank, the note, the statements,
all that other shit.

(37:54):
So when in court harold'spublic defender claimed he had
mental issues and poor impulsecontrol, nah he that's the same
thing.
I say that's what I have.
That's what I had at thatmoment that took the game.
My uh, god brother's's househad mental health issues and
poor impulse control.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Whole five year old Motherfucker was crazy.
I mean, is this a serial,serial thief, sociopath?

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Sociopath.
So prosecutors presented thebirth certificate note as
Exhibit A type shit.
Exhibit A as Exhibit A typeshit.
Exhibit A Exhibit.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
A is on the exhibit Birth certificate, bro.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
You know that.
Nah, you know that prosecutorhad her field day with that.
He's like damn, they make themeasy nowadays.
Huh, I'm about to get thisquick 5K, real quick, real
motherfuckers rubbing his headlike a goddamn fly, bro, where
y'all want to go eat at On metoday.
This is easy money right herefor me.
I'm about to close this case,bro.
What the fuck?
Open and shut case Lunch on metoday, buffet Exhibit A.

(39:03):
So the judge was reportedlyvisibly confused and amused,
even joking.
This may be the first timesomeone handed the police their
identity before committing thecrime.
So the outcome?
He got charged with federalbank robbery.
His plea was guilty.
He got 42 months in federalprison.
He had a reduced sentence dueto his cleanest record and

(39:24):
nonviolent nature of his crime.
The birth certificate itself isnow archived in Cleveland FBI
Evidence vault, reportedly usedas a training tool for how not
to commit a robbery.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
How not to is crazy.
He almost got away with it, bro, almost, bro, okay.
So Joy Miller and MatthewMcKinley Sorry, mcnally, these
men will be behind likely theworst and least thought out
disguise in history of crime.
When committing their misdeed,they didn't use the mask, hoods
or uh by the clavis typical ofmost criminals, but instead

(39:57):
chose to wear uh, instead choseto draw on their faces with
permanent markers.
While they may have made themhard to recognize in the crime,
permanent marker is, as uh thename suggests, notoriously hard
to remove, which left themextremely easy to identify when
the police were looking for theculprits.
They even earned the nicknameof Dumb and Dumber at the

(40:18):
precinct.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Just put a sharpie on their face, bro, and then
decided to go out there Medrawing glasses behind my
glasses, just decided to goabout their day like that, bro.
All right, I got you right here.
This one's called the 911Self-1-1.
Self-snitcher.
Man calls cops to report hisown stolen drugs hey, no way bro
, go ahead, bro, you gotta makesure you don't lose your stuff,
bro.
So march 2021, in hernandocounty, florida.

(40:44):
The criminal was thomas eugenekoluki, 41.
So thomas called 9-1, called911, saying he was scammed by
his drug dealer, as one shoulddo Report your local drug dealer
.
No, I'm just joking.
So he wanted police to cometest this meth because he was
convinced it was actually.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Dapsal hey no way.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
When deputies arrived , thomas handed them two baggies
of the suspected meth and saidI paid good money for this.
I need to know if I got rippedoff.
Hey bro, field test confirmedit was meth.
So not only did Thomas provehis dealer was honest, but also
got himself arrested forpossession.
So they have body cam footageof him saying, of him saying I

(41:27):
figured, if anybody knows realmeth it's you guys.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Hey bro, what the fuck Bro bro?
What the fuck Bro Bro?
A little meth-y bro, bro, alittle meth-y bro.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
So obviously he got charged with possession of
methamphetamine.
He got sentenced to 18 monthsprobation and mandatory drug
counseling.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Now I play dumb.
What you mean?
What meth?

Speaker 2 (41:45):
What meth?

Speaker 1 (41:45):
The one you got, that's your meth?
What are you talking about thatain?

Speaker 2 (41:48):
my man, oh, did you see that one video of that dude
who got like?
I think he said he had to usethe bathroom or some shit, or
they like caught the policecaught him in the bathroom what
was it?
and he was like hold on, let meuse the bathroom first or some
shit.
He had drugs like the policehad.
No, he had the drug in hishands and the police were trying
to get and he was like no, no,he's like let me use the
bathroom first and I'll give itto you after I use the bathroom.
They let him go, he drops inthe toilet, flushes it bruh In

(42:11):
front of them, uh huh, andthey're like no, and then the
whole drugs just go.
It might have been like A TVshow type shit Cause there's no
way that actually did happen, ormaybe it did happen.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
What kind of cops were they?
Were they like American cops?
Yeah, yeah, oh, american cops?
Nah, I doubt bro.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
I doubt it might have been off of that show or
something.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
But imagine, brother, you see the drugs yeah, I can't
think of the camera like Ican't think of cops actually
letting you uh, you'd besurprised.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
There's some.
There is some dumb cops outthere too though you're right,
you're right oh, uh, officerdeputy, uh doofy bro, right,
right I got you one out here.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Uh, mark smith, breaking into homes can be uh,
can be tiring work, but mostcriminals are smart enough to
wait until they get home beforetaking a nap.
Now, mark smith, though.
In 2007, smith uh he was highon valium and also drunk at the
time decided to break into ahome, and, since he was likely
feeling the effects of the drugsand alcohol he had consumed, he

(43:16):
curled up for a nap in thehomeowner's bed.
He was awoken by the localpolice and sentenced to 18
months.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Damn bro, Old Goldilocks.
Bro, Bro, let's leave it Bro.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
How is it bro, old Goldilocks?
It's that damn.
But what would you do, though,bro?
Imagine coming home?
Dude just passed out in yourbed, bro.
Well, I guess, in fairness, youdo call the cops, but Prank him
bro.
What the fuck?
Prank him, john.
Prank him.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
John, stick your finger in his butt.
I would have flipped the lightswitch.
That would have flipped the bedaround while he, like with the
motion of it flipping around, hewould have floated in the air,
spun, landed on his stomach, thethe ropes would have came tied
themselves on his wrist, on his,on his.
Got them, go go gadget.
Um, oh beds, oh, quagmire room,bro.

(44:01):
Then the bed start rotatinglike this the.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Uh, what is it called that ball?
That the disco ball?
that's all the ones I had, brookay, I got a couple more, just
some short ones.
Uh, I got cause smitted.
In August 1995, a man in Berlindecided to rob a bank with a
handgun.
Now, this acted out like apretty standard bank robbery
until the tellers asked him doyou need a bag?

(44:25):
To which smith responded you'redamn right, it's a real gun.
This made it obvious to thetellers that the robber was deaf
with this new realization.
They sounded the alarm, whichnotified police with smith, uh,
while smith was none the wiser,uh, so he got arrested and then
he later sued the bank forapparently abusing his
disability did he win?

Speaker 2 (44:44):
no, he lost that damn damn bro before the saloon, bro
.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
So, okay, this is going to be the last one.
In 2008, an 18-year-old namedRuben Zarate attempted to rob a
muffler shop in Chicago.
After demanding the money, hewas told that most of the cash
was stored in a safe that couldbe opened by the manager, who
wasn't scheduled to come inuntil hours later.
To have himself, to havehimself save some troubles, that

(45:12):
, I think, left his cell phonenumber for the store to call him
back.
Once the manager arrived, ofcourse, the store first called
police and then caused it outthe back.
When he came back and noticedthe police were waiting for him,
he engaged in a brief shootoutwith the cops before eventually
being arrested.
Damn, sounds like bro.
Sounds like it's.
It's always nice to leave yourphone number when you're
planning to come back.
You know you know, at comingback.

(45:33):
At least he waited.
You got to be patient.
You got to be patient.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Right, y'all let us know any crazy or funny or dumb,
criminal heists or dumb crimesthat y'all know about.
Let us know, message us andleave a comment on this episode
or something.
Y'all already know what time itis.
That's enough of that.
We're going to head on to thenext segment.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
The episode or something.
You already know what time itis.
That's enough of that.
We're gonna head on to the nextsegment, the good old classic
fear.
Is it all in your mind, orcould it be real welcome to fear
fact or fiction?
How?
How would you describe this,though?
How would you?
Uh, well, let's just get intoit.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
That's not really much to yeah, we ain't gonna
lead up into this, we're justgonna go ahead and dive into
this thing so for this, this one, we got the back rooms.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Wait a minute.
Oh fucking Christ, you're right.
For this one we have theHogsberry River Monster.
My fault, no, you're good bro.
So yeah, the Hogsberry RiverMonster, this time it's for
Australia.
It's a little monster forAustralia, not really little,
but Big monster.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
Big monster for us, Big tings man.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
So their reports are far back as the ancient art of
the Darug tribal, the aboriginesof Australia of a mysterious
water monster.
Legend calls them the mirillaor giant water serpent.
The hogsberry river hasproduced reports of large

(46:58):
reptilian or eel-like animalssince at least as far back as
1924.
There has also been sightingsof this creature in the last
decade.
Sightings of the creature havebeen reported from weisman's
ferry at the western end of theriver eastward to the Broken Bay
, brisbane waters expense at theriver's mouth.
So a popular story regardingthis creature came to light in

(47:21):
1980 was a report by fishermenin a small aluminum boat that a
sea creature surfaced belowtheir boat, catapulting their
vessel out of the water andthrough the air over three
meters, and other reports, uhincluded boats found adrift with
their acute occupants nowhereto be found, and boats found
smashed or overturned damn bro.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
I have a couple of uh physical descriptions of what
some witnesses said.
It looked like yeah so witnessessaid that thing measures like 7
to 24 meters, which is roughlylike 20 to 80 feet.
The shape was like a serpentinebody, often described like a
plezosaur or plesiosaur.
Uh, a plebisaur.
Um, it has a long neck, smallhead, powerful flippers.

(48:09):
Uh, they say it's like dark,brown, gray or even green, slimy
and scaly.
Some reports mention whiskers.
Others describe acrocodile-like snout with sharp
teeth.
So it's kind of like the LochNess Monster in Australia, sort
of in a sense.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yeah, that's what some of the reports were saying.
That's like third version ofthe Loch Ness Monster.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Do you have any witness accounts or anything
like that you do?

Speaker 1 (48:33):
So in 1912, a story from the evening news was it the
bunyip that concerns analligator-like creature in South
Creek, a tributary of theHawksburg River in Winstead.
He said that the creature seenby a boat party, a strange
object swimming a short distancefrom them, about four feet in

(48:56):
length and resembled analligator.
And then there have beenreports of them a lot bigger
than that.
And god himself said he hasn'tbeen able to establish any
satisfactions that the reportsor the bigger ones are genuine.
So they're just thinking it'sit can't get any bigger.
But are genuine.
So they're just thinking it'sit can't get any bigger, but you
know so it's just one as far asthey know, it's just one.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
I had some early settlers from the 1800s, it says
.
Some of the first recordednon-indigenous signings were by
fishermen who claimed somethinglarge would strike their boats
or steal caught fish from linesand nets.
One account from the 1890sdescribes a large creature
thrashing the water nearwiseman's ferry, scaring off
workers building a nearby bridge, and then in 1975 there were

(49:38):
sightings.
A famous account came from rexgilroy, a well-known australian
cryptozoologist.
He claimed to have interviewedseveral local fishermen and
residents who reported seeingmassive dark shapes gliding
under their boats.
So gilroy gilroy suggested thecreature could be a surviving uh
plesiosaur species or anunknown species of giant eel.

(50:02):
But bro for it to be that longbro 20 to 80 feet.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
No and then knocking boats over bro, that's
outrageous, bro.
You can't confuse that, bro,because they were saying it
could be like an alligator.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
There's no alligator freaking 20, 80 feet bro out in
amazon.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
They got them long ass snakes though but that's
them snakes, though I don'tthink it live over here near uh,
australia, australia, because,yeah, that's all.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
That's all uh, I was just saying like there is like a
big snake, though I could seewhere they probably like
thinking.
Something like that right itcould probably be like a snake
or something.
But to flip boats over and shit, but it's a big.
You never seen that video.
Let me see if I can find it.
Bro, you go ahead and give it.
That's an actual video of itflipping.
Oh, for real.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
You go ahead and Okay , so in 1924, people were
talking about seeing a Titanic,quotation marks, titanic
seahorse.
And there's a specificeyewitness report by uh.
Wj Riley Well, along with hisbrother, saw this thing while
walking along the terrace at mid.
At midday.
They saw something in the riverbeneath in a depot, healy said.

(51:04):
He said he saw a big ugly thing, two, two feet, six inches to
three feet in depth with withthe length of about five to six
feet and of yellowish or sandycolor.
Uh, whether the skin was weardown, uh, and they couldn't
realize it was covered.
Not, uh, we could not see.
And they watched it for about15 minutes.

(51:25):
They had a square looking fishtail and they said it was just
not a pleasant looking animal.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
And uh, I should certainly not care to be in the
water and have it after me.
So I looked and I tried to seeif there was any scientific
evidence.
So there's no physical evidencelike bones, skin samples or
clear photos have ever beenfound.
Sonar scans of deeper parts ofthe river I mean, yeah, of the
river have found unusual shapes,but nothing conclusively
biological.
So it could probably be like abig ass tree trunk something

(51:56):
down there, yeah, something yeahit says still, the combination
of indigenous lore, historicaccounts and modern sightings
keeps the story alive, though,so there's not like yeah that's
the same thing.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Yeah, that's the same thing.
It was just word of mouth typetype shit yeah it's more like
the indigenous people that werethere.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
The Durog people that I saw.
They said they were thetraditional custodians of the
Hogsburg River and, just likeyou said, have long spoken of
creatures dwelling in the waters, like I said earlier, known as
the Marilla.
Like I said again, translatesto giant, uh water serpent.
I got what some people weresaying, that it uh.

(52:34):
Well, I got some more incidentsof it uh, of some other things
that it did.
Oh, what, what they think itwas that okay so I got 1945.
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
1949 the bull snatchingincident.
A young couple in a rowing boatnear Lowry Huxbury reported a
truly extraordinary event.
According to the account, theywitnessed a large creature

(52:57):
emerge from the water near abull that was drinking from its
creek flowing into the river.
The creature, described ashaving a snake-like head on the
end of a long neck, reportedlygrabbed the bull and dragged it
into the water.
While this account might seemfantastical, it is worth noting
that crocodiles have been knownto prey on cattle in other parts

(53:17):
of Australia.
So that's just.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
I mean, it makes sense because they got some big
ass crocodiles.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
They do, yeah, they do big ass crocodiles, but I
don't think you can confuse acrocodile with what they're
describing, like what everybodyelse is describing well, they
say it says green and scaly, Imean that's well, yeah, but
they're saying it was like, uh,like with the long neck and
stuff like that too, though yeah, I could see that, cause I mean
, a crocodile does come out atit quick, but I feel like you

(53:45):
know you live with crocodiles,tell the difference between uh,
you know it was a crocodile orit was like some other creature.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
You feel me?
That's what I think.
That's that.
Yeah, I could see that.
I could see that, bro.
I saw that there was like aspiritual description of how the
indigenous people viewed itokay.
So they said the enormousserpent-like body it had like an
uh, sorry, the form.
It was an enormous serpent-likebody, but not just flesh and
blood.
The mallly wonk I think that'show you say could shift between
physical and spirit form makingit invisible when it chose to be
so.
They said it had glowing eyes,often seen under the water at

(54:23):
dusk.
They said its breath was saidto cause mist to rise from the
river, and anyone who saw thismist was warned to stay away
from the water.
And then they said the creaturewas believed to call out at
night, making sounds that couldrange from low growl to a
distant cry, often mistaken fora wind through the trees.
That's like the supernatural,yeah, aspect of it, yeah okay,

(54:45):
all of that was just past, uhyeah, like word of mouth, word
of mouth right stories like okay, don't go in the river because
there's this big mythical beastso basically I would, with
everything else that we coveredbefore, right, it's just.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
It's just a word of word of mouth type uh type of
thing, damn yeah because theydon't have no video proof of it
they don't have no photos, atleast not that I found.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Yeah, I mean, unless y'all know that there is
something, y'all can send.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Excuse me, y'all can send it to us on the DM or
something cause, as far as Iknow, they haven't caught
anything like that or anythinglike that.
Only thing I've seen is thatthey've seen like weird tracks
on the on what is it called?
On the banks and stuff likethat.
But I mean, that could be, thatcould be anything.
It's usually people that saythey've seen it and then they go

(55:29):
check where it was and theyjust like say it was like weird
tracks on their sand and whatnot.
But apart from that, they Idon't think they've had any
attacks against actual people,though.
Right um like apart from apartthe boats and stuff like that,
but actually like coming ontoland or yeah, I don't think so I
haven't seen nothing right,because I would.
I would say okay, so, becausemaybe if it's coming into onto

(55:49):
the land or whatnot, okay, maybeit's a crocodile or something
like that, because obviously acrocodile will go into the land
or stuff, but everything justseems to be like in the water
text.
Right, maybe, but go ahead, man, go ahead what's your thoughts
on it, then what do?
you think it could be, then Idon't know what it could be,
because what I also found, Ifound like a whole list of like

(56:11):
scientific oh theories of whatit could be, because what I also
found I found like a whole listof like scientific oh theories
of what it could possibly be.
Okay, not really what it couldbe, but just proving it, in a
sense, just proving you werehere, okay, before I make my
final Final verdict Uh-huh,uh-huh, okay.
So they just hitting us withthat, which I think is like with
any cryptid or anything likethat, really Gaslighting Almost,

(56:33):
in a sense.
They're saying the lack ofphysical evidence.
So, despite numerous reportedsightings, there's no definitive
physical evidence of theHogsberry River Monster, like
you said, no bones, nophotographs, no DNA sample,
nothing that will conclusivelyprove the existence of this

(56:53):
creature, whatever it is.
Then the ecologicalimpossibility the Hawkesbury
River, while substantial, is nota vast unexplored wilderness.
It is a relatively smallecosystem that has been
extensively studied and utilizedby humans for centuries.
Skeptics that it, it's highlyunlikely that a population of
large unknown animals couldexist in such a environment

(57:16):
without leaving more tangible.
But it's not saying there's alot of animals.
All the reports are saying thatit's, it's just one.
Because they never said like,oh, we see multiple, like we've
seen, uh, you know, uh, a familyof them attacking something.
You know so, but still, butstill, I mean, it makes sense.
The order, like the ecosystem,everything, like you would see
it as balancing other life forms.

(57:38):
So there was something biggerout there, just, you know,
messing with the ecosystem in asense.
The other thing is theinconsistency of descriptions.
While there are some commonelements in the description of
the monster, there are alsosignificant variations.
Skeptics argue that theinconsistency suggests that
people are seeing differentthings and are interpreting them

(58:00):
through the lens of monster'slegend.
I'll give them that If you goout there and you try to see
something, you see something inthe forest or something like
that.
I understand where you could belike, oh, I saw it, I saw it
and it could just be, becausethat's what Like a tree floating
in the river.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
I was going to say I was going to say.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
The whole thing with Nessie was that it was just the
photo.
You know how they have multiplephotos, one they were saying
whale penis yeah that's what Iwas going to say.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
They said it was just like a whale penis.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
And then the other one was it was just a branch
that was floating in the or log,whatever that was floating or a
beaver or some shit, some shitlike that.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Yeah so, or maybe just me backstroking me, maybe
just backstroking while stroking.
I mean, damn a guy can't have ahobby anymore okay.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
So then psychological factors, the power of
suggestion and the humantendency to see patterns where
none, none exist to explain manyfactors.
The power of suggestion and thehuman tendency to see patterns
were not non-exist to explainmany signs.
Once the idea of a monster inthat river became part of local
lore, people may have been morelikely to interpret ambiguous
sights or sounds as evidence ofthe creature and then, just uh,

(59:05):
misidentification of knownanimals.
So many signs could beexplained by encounters with
known species that have beenmisidentified or seen in unusual
circumstances.
Large eels, which can grow toimpressive sizes, could account
for some of the serpentinedescriptions.
Seals, which occasionallyventure into the river from the
ocean, might explain sightingsof creatures with flippers, and

(59:26):
then just simple opticalillusions.
The interplay of light, waterand natural debris can create
surprising illusions.
Partially submerged logs, forinstance, can sometimes appear
to move in ways that might beinterpreted as movements of
large animals.
Cultural memory andstorytelling the persistence of
the Hawkesbury River monsterlegend might be better explained

(59:46):
as a cultural phenomenon ratherthan a zoological one.
Stories could serve importantsocial and cultural functions
for serving tradition, knowledgeand reinforcing community
identity.
So, yes, just keep in, justtell the kids you know, don't go
over there.
The monster's going to get youshit like that, you know.
So just want to put that outthere.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
What I think it is I don't really know what it is- I
think, because I don't want to,I don't want to talk down on
anybody's beliefs or anythinglike that but I feel like it
could be something.
But it could also just be likethat.
Like something that's justgetting blown up.
OK because I mean, if you thinkabout it like, like, for example

(01:00:25):
, like back in the day, like,not like, for example, like
people in Africa they see, likegiraffes.
Okay, for example, people inAfrica they see giraffes.
But say somebody from NorthAmerica went to Africa, saw a
giraffe and had to describe itto somebody.
Okay, imagine you never knewwhat the giraffe was.
Somebody comes up to you andwas like imagine a 20-foot horse

(01:00:45):
.
Right, that's crazy already20-foot horse is crazy, With a
long neck with the body of ahorse, but it's like the neck
was 10 feet tall itself and ithad a short face of a weird
creature and had like a long,super long tongue and it ate off
the top of trees and its ballswere like this big, you know

(01:01:07):
like something like that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
I'd be like, well, he's smoking.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
It's like, imagine like 10, like a 10 foot long
legs or some shit like that.
You know what I he's smoking,you hear me.
It's like imagine like 10, likea 10 foot long legs or some
shit like that.
You know what I'm saying right,right, no, that's like going
off a description would make youlike, like, you would visualize
this creature being likesomething like what the fuck
they got over there and then youjust see it's just a giraffe,
like it's commonly known as agiraffe now right, you know, I'm
saying yeah, yeah so, forexample, like that would be
something that they've seen andbe like wow, it's a massive

(01:01:32):
beast, but it's just a reallybad, like really big freaky
snake, right, a really bigfreaking crocodile, because you
know things were pretty big, I'msure, like back in the day yeah
.
And especially of like oh, it'slike competition.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
That is a really good point.
The back in the day thingBecause, yeah, animals were
bigger back in the day thingbecause yeah, animals were
bigger back in the day, or atleast they were left alone more
because you wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Be well, there was like things that we didn't know,
like creatures that weren'textinct at the time right
probably could have beensomething, but I don't know, bro
, I mean, but then again it'sthe water.
I mean, bro, we never know what.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
What's well, I mean, they did say they did say they
had like the, at least that likethey do got it, it's explored,
it's not like they don't knowwhat's in there, like they.
They're saying they know what'sin there, like they know
everything.
That's like ecosystem-wise oranything or like anything like
that.
So that's why they were sayingthey couldn't.
They couldn't support thedisrupting, because that would

(01:02:28):
like disrupt the whole ecosystem.
Something like that you know itbasically doesn't have a
natural predator would disruptthe uh, the ecosystem and
whatnot I don't know, bro, itwouldn't surprise me.
If there is, I would.
I would like to say it's aplesiosaur, please, please.
Uh, plesiosaur, right, I thinkthat's what you say, I would
like to think is is one of themI would like to.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
I would like to maybe it be pretty cool, bro.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
I'm not doubting that there's something in there,
Right just for the thing,because I mean I really don't
know.
Okay, look, so it's not that,but it is something.
Though it's got to be something, but something was attacking.
I mean, it was attacking thebulls Apparently.
It took a bull off land.
I think an eel could do thatwell, I really don't know how

(01:03:14):
big eels that go.
They think, yeah, they do go onland.
I know they do go on land, butI don't.
I don't strong enough to taketo bring down the bull.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
No, I don't think it was a eel.
It had to either be like a bigcrocodile right big snake or a
fucking dinosaur, whole fuckingspinosaurus right, whole whole
dinosaur.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
I I okay, I will give it.
Maybe uh, are you rating it can?

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
we even rate it, yeah , yeah, like say, say
hypothetically it is a beast,okay, one out of ten one out of
ten just going off of what weinformation.
We have.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
But the the attacks that it didn't seem like they
were crazy.
It seemed like it knocked over,like it hit a boat, it raced
the boat, that that was about it.
I mean it obviously took away.
Well, if it's, if the story istrue, it took.
It took a bull, but uh, well,I'll rate it.
I'll rate it a five, five.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
I'll give it like a.
I'll give it like a, three likea three, yeah for the four.
I mean because it's just in thewater.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
I mean just don't go in the water well, you're right,
you're right, just don't go inthe water but I mean then again,
like I said, it could.
No, you know you're right,because it will seem like it's
too aggressive.
Yeah, because there will bemore.
Yeah, that's the thing thenyou'd have kids disappearing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
I mean, you got like the fishermen disappearing, but
then you'd have like way, I'msure if there was cattle or
something, you'd have way morereports of cattle being eaten,
way more reports of like just abit like coming in like you know
, because kids are going to playin the rivers and whatnot.
So you'd have more accounts ofchildren being eaten, thus
causing the village to be likelet's go hunt this thing right,

(01:04:45):
right, okay, you're right,you're right, you're right, I'd
give it like a three bro I mean,I'm not I'm not dissing on
anybody's uh beliefs or anythinglike that, but me personally, I
just feel like it could besomething but, there's not
enough evidence, or or like it'sjust what's essential.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Yeah, it's not enough essential and uh, it's not.
It's not a big, it's not a big,it's not a.
It has a little bit of deja vufor me, it's not, you're right.
No, you're right, you're right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
It's really not a big threat level out there yeah,
you're right, this is like athree to me.
It's scary, don't get me wrong,but it's just like yeah, big
big.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Just another big river, another big thing in the
water, where what we really needis jeremy kyle out there.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
But that dude be fishing them uh oh, you're
talking about a dude from rivermonster.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
That's the dude, that'll catch it get that dude
from river monster he'll catchthat thing at first cast he
caught everything right.
You cannot tell me he ran outof fish.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
He ran out of fish he ran out of shit to catch.
Come on he really caughteverything he could have caught
an s if he wanted to, but y'allain't want to give him that
contract no, you're right, allright, all right, I'll bring my
down.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
I'll bring my down to a, to a two after that you know
what?

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
I'll put mine out of one.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
You know what no I'm just joking, but yeah, it's all.
Yeah, like, like, yeah, you'reright interesting concept,
interesting belief, good story.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
You know, I'm not saying it's fake or anything but
it does have good littlehistory to it with the
indigenous, I mean that's that'swhat the uh like the scientific
approach.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
This is not enough evidence to actually like, uh,
prove that it was just the, that, just that one creature.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
You know I agree y'all.
Let us know what y'all think,though let us know if y'all have
any stories about this.
Uh beast, have y'all seen it?
What's it?

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
called again the hogsberry river must y'all, let
us know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
If y'all know any information about it, let us
know.
If y'all have any stories orany uh beliefs or any um.
You know stories that arepassed down to y'all, or
anything like that, let us know.
We'd be pretty uh interested tohear about it.
Or have you seen it yourself?
Who am I to deny your your?

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
story, if y'all have a picture.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Send us the picture, but before let me show you the
snake, bro, oh, that one.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
You seen.
It is though, yeah, I see thatone bro, that thing, that movie
in the condo, bro, that's how itwas bro.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
This literally the size it was bro.
All right, so that's gonna beenough of that y'all.
Let us know what y'all think.
Like I said, sorry, um, on tothe next subject, go ahead y'all
now the real, now the real one,now the real one back.
That's right, the back door.
You ever tried Back door Aknoll?
Huh, huh, huh, what you mean?
The back door, the one, the oneand only the good back door,

(01:07:24):
the.
Now, yeah, like Yaya said, thisis about the back doors, no,
the back rooms, the butt holes,the booty holes.
We're talking about the bootyholes.
Go ahead, let them know whatthe back rooms is.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
What are the back rooms you may ask?
There are fictional endlessmazes of empty rooms that are
accessed by no clipping out ofreality.
The concept originated from a2019 4chan post.
Backrooms began with a simpleimage posted to 4chan.
It depicted an undergroundwindowless space.
The image elicited a strongreaction from the internet.

(01:08:06):
The original post didn'tcontain any information about
when or where the picture wastaken.
Ever since then, the Backroomshas evolved, and Reverence was
telling me that it was just 7original.
The picture was taken and eversince then, the Back Rooms has
evolved, and Reverence wastelling me that it was just
seven original, nine originalBack Rooms and that fans over
the years have added more andmore, so now it's like an

(01:08:27):
endless wave.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
It was like nine to ten core Back Rooms.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
Core from the original.
From the original oh, okay,okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
But, like Gael said, you know, the Back Ro to 10 core
, back room, core from theoriginal, from the original,
yeah, okay, okay.
But um, like I just said, youknow, the back rooms is
essentially just a creepy pastaand urban legend type of thing.
Uh, just describes like aliminal space.
Just think of it like a as,just think of it as an infinite
maze of empty rooms and hallways, usually lit by harsh
fluorescent lights.
You got that one room with theyellow wallpaper, the stained

(01:08:56):
carpets and people said it justgives you that general feeling
of dread and isolation I meanthe original, the first, I mean
like right, this just makes itlike it gives you like for me.
It gives me like, a sense ofnostalgia, but it gives me
nostalgia, but I don't know fromwhat right it gives me like,
like I've been there, type shitbut.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
But I but like, but I don't know from what Right it
gives me like a I've been theretype shit Right, but I don't
remember like being there orhave we escaped.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
I've been in the back room, have we?
You've been in my back door?
What happened?

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
You've been in my back.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
We've been at each other's back door.
Like I said, the original photowas a yellow, dingy office
space, empty with buzzingfluorescent lights and endless
hallways.
It's unsettling vibe comes frombeing a liminal space.
It's a.
It's just like a.
It was just like an emptyoffice building right yeah, or
they have some that's like anabandoned mall, a school hallway

(01:09:49):
.
They have like ones where it'sjust like pipes everywhere, type
of thing but there's like thewhole.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
you can say it pipes everywhere, type of thing, but
there's like the whole.
You can say levels.
There's like different levels,right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
So there's countless floors or levels, whatever you
want to call them, and, like wesaid, the original one was level
zero, or some people call itthe yellow rooms.
But due to like it, gaining somuch traction and so much people
liking the feeling and likingthe aesthetic of it and
everything, they started addingtheir own things, like we said.
So what you got, though?

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
So, yeah, I don't got any of the core ones, but you
can tell people like.
Yeah, I got level 94.
So it's called Motion, it'scategorized as unsafe, unsecured
, with a low entity count.
Oh, that's the other thing too.
So in these rooms too they gotuh, they got creatures and stuff

(01:10:38):
like that.
But we're not gonna talk aboutthat this one, we're gonna talk
about it on the oh yeah, this isgonna be a two-parter yeah,
yeah, two.
This is gonna be a two-parter,so this one we're just gonna be
covering, uh, just the rooms,just the rooms and what they,
what they got going on insidethe rooms.
So level 94 is a 95th level ofthe back rooms.
I didn't understand that, butnow that you said the first
one's level 0, so that makessense now.
So level 94 appears to be alarge town, a floating castle

(01:11:01):
and grass hills where everythinghas a grainy effect as if this
place was crafted.
The main town is safe, with noentities during the day.
This town has a big waterfountain in the center, flown
with almond water, so just justwhat almond water is.
So they got like their ownlittle uh items like items and

(01:11:24):
loot inside the room.
so almond water is like, uh,they were saying it was you need
that, uh, uh, what do they callit?
Explorer?
So if you go in there, you'reexplorer.
So you need a, you needsustenance.
So almond water is like theirsustenance.
They were saying it's like 600calories, almost like a full
meal just for drinking thebottles.

(01:11:44):
But yeah, it's basically whatit looks like.
It's just like a Stanley Cuplooking thing, okay, and it's
like dented and whatnot.
But apparently you can findthem through every room and
they're pretty.
They're just like yourresources that you can find at
least to stay alive in the rooms.
This town seems to be in the1930s in a stop motion type feel
.
This town has tiny houses withsome furniture, mostly in the

(01:12:07):
1930s to 1950s.
The town also has 1930s stylecars and milk vans filled with
almond milk.
It has siren poles which timeto time play happy cartoony
music.
At this time everything is safe.
Until it turns night the musicwill stop completely and at this

(01:12:27):
time the entity known asAnimations will start to appear
and will tag if spotted.
You gotta survive.
You gotta either get out ofthere before nighttime hits,
because it changes the wholewhole thing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
But you said, there's like homes there, is there
houses, yeah?
There's houses, yeah there'shouses you can't hide.
Inside the house you can hide.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Oh yeah, you house you go or where you hide into.
That would take you to otherback rooms.
Oh shit, and there's, uh,there's a way to get out.
I'll get to that.
There's a way to get out, butthere's also from other back
rooms that could lead you intothat, into that one.
So some of them connect um.

(01:13:05):
Other entities appear in thenight are smilers, skin stealers
, hounds and, uh, death mods.
There's also death rats, uh,which they have evolved to look
like a normal rat in this stopmotion.
Look, because the animationswill usually attack anything
that does not look animated.
Grass hills of level 94 usuallygo on forever and is infinite.

(01:13:25):
The only thing there are a fewstrange cars parked in the
middle of nowhere, in the watertower, which seem to contain
almond water.
What is strange about the hillsis that random sets of
furniture and even entire singlerooms of a house can be found,
or sometimes it's just a wallwith furniture next to it.
Above the hills you will see afloating castle and what looks
like a transparent mountain.
So the castle is a transparentmountain.

(01:13:47):
So this is kind of how youescape.
You got to kind of defeat thelittle boss in there or
something.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
Oh shit.

Speaker 1 (01:13:54):
To get out.
Level 94 can be really trippyfor the human mind, so bring
some almond water.
This area, for some reason,will lose its cartoony effects
on photos, which possibly meanthis level is losing its effect
in the castle.
The castle appears to be in astrange funhouse area and is
very bright.
In some rooms.
You can find ball pits,playground playgrounds and an

(01:14:17):
animation studio with aminiature replica of the town
and its entities.
In this castle, the onlyentities that can appear are
what we call roboman.
Their appearance is an oldstyle style robot toy from the
1930s.
In animation form they seem tobe the guards of the castle and
are hostile if they spot youinteracting with any objects in
the castle.
After wandering through thecastle, which also seems to be

(01:14:39):
infinite, you will soon find alarge doorway that will lead to
the throne room.
In this room you will find theentity known as the Animated
King.
At first it doesn't seemhostile, but will in fact
control you and you can soonbecome a part of the animations.
In fact, control you and youcan soon become a part of the
animations, I'm sorry, and youcan soon become a part of the
animations, but he will at firstput you through a test of

(01:14:59):
withstanding your own nightmaresin an animated form.
If you happen to succeed, hewill let you out of Burst of
Light and you will either besent out of the castle to the
town or one of the main levels.
So that's how you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
Damn.
So what if he send you back tothe town?
You just got to go back again.
Then you got to go back again,damn bro, and you stopped
Remember.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
And you can't die, and you can't die.
What do you mean?
You can't die, you can't becaught with the little
animations, by the littleanimations.
They kill you instantly.
You got to start all over again.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
Oh shit.
Okay, I mean I got a little bit, but this is like floor zero.
So this is the lobby for theclassic back rooms.
So this is obviously the mosticonic back room level.
It's what people picture first.
It's endless interconnectedyellow rooms, musty carpet,
buzzing fluorescent lights.
Like I said before, smellsweird.
Smells weird like mold, dampcarpet.

(01:15:52):
You know, you hear that likethe light flicker.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
Bro, it's such a I'm saying bro it has that feeling
to it, like I've been there bro,like I've waited in that office
or something bro, like I canfeel it, bro it's all in our
mind, right?

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
So what people do here?
Most wander aimlessly trying tomap it, which is impossible
because the rooms shift.
Survivors might leave notes forothers or try to mark rooms,
but markings can vanish, oh shit.
Some try to find supplies,water leaks, scraps, but most
just focus on escaping.
So how to escape this room?
It's no guaranteed method, butsome exits reportedly appear in

(01:16:32):
dead ends or you might no clipfurther down if you touch a wall
in the right spot.
Others claim escaping requirestotal mental calm, as panic
makes you more stuck.
Rumors of windows that show thereal world real world, but they
could be traps.
So there's a little secrets ortips about it.
The humming of the lights canmask entity footsteps they say

(01:16:53):
stay away from rooms withunnatural silence.
Something's wrong if the humstops.
So it says.
Entities are rare in level zero.
But isolation is its own enemy.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Oh, it's like being by myself and shit.

Speaker 2 (01:17:05):
It makes people go crazy or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:17:06):
I believe it, bro, With that bus and with that
yellow room bro.

Speaker 2 (01:17:09):
Fuck that, bro, what you got though you got another.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
Yeah, I'm going to give you just.
No, you go, I'm going to giveyou a little bit more.
I didn't see this.
So the entrances and exits tohow to get out of level 94.

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:17:20):
So to enter, you must be in level 601 and
successfully escape and makeyour way to the hub.
Once there, arectangular-shaped hole will
appear on the ground in a randomarea of the hub and will close
very soon after entering, butslowly.
To exit, you must eithercomplete the Animated King's
Trial and get to a random mainlevel, or some houses will lead

(01:17:42):
to level 7, level 9, and level53.
I think you just gotta searchfor them.
Just search the trial.
This other one does give youdetails on which specific ones?
But there's an organizationthere called the MAG.
I had the notes on what it's.
Give me a second.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
Oh, this is kind of like a squad that went in there.
Yeah, they go in there, yeah,they go investigate.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
Yeah, that's basically what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
To try and map out or learn about it.
There you go.
Yeah, that's the one?

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
Yeah, that's the one, but so I'm going to give you
level 41.
Level 41 is a bubbling, oozing,inflaming asphalt tar pit
surrounded by charcoal blackdeserts, held in a perpetual
grain fall that masks most ofthe environment.
It's tar, despite having beensitting in place for presumably
hundreds, if not thousands, ofyears, never loses any heat, nor

(01:18:31):
does it ever lose any of itsintense reactivity with the air
Never loses any heat, nor doesit ever lose any of its intense
reactivity with the air.
Acting as if it's fresh, thetar boils at a consistent 95
degrees Celsius with its hightemperature.
I don't know why I said Celsius.
I need freedom units over here,coupled with pungent and
intoxicating fumes being quickto intoxicate wanderers who
arrive at this level.

(01:18:52):
Elongated proximity to this tarcan frequently lead to fainting,
illness or vomiting from anycombination of the two effects.
Furthermore, physical touch withthis tar, even without direct
skin contact, can cause burnsand boils to quickly accumulate
on one's flesh.
Prolonged physical proximity,especially for any for any time
over a second, can cause skinand flesh to melt, graft to

(01:19:15):
other materials or even becomefused with the surface layer of
the tar itself.
The depth of the tar itself isremarkably shallow, which allows
for a geography of hot,charcoal colored sands to
periodically pierce through thesurface of the tar and for small
patchy islands and variousspread of clusters.
The sand of these lands massesare exponentially hot.

(01:19:36):
It should not be stood on whilestationary for long periods of
time.
While these sands possess noother details safe for
occasional animal bones or driedand wither sticks of long dead
bushes, they are imperative forsurvival as they are only of two
safe methods of traversinglevel 41, the other of which
being the piers so you canactually uh climb on top of that

(01:19:58):
thing just and travel aroundthe uh, the uh, the tar and
whatnot.
For more safe way of travelacross the tar pit, individuals
can instead walk along thevarious bridges and piers that
are raised above or, oftentimes,sucking within the tar uh.
The supports of these bridgesare made of concrete or metal,
with the wooden constructionthat makes up the rest of the
legs as well as the walkwayareas.

(01:20:18):
These walkways do not connectto the islands directly, as the
platforms are elevated toheights everywhere from 2 to 6
meters from the ground.
Over time, some of the more drywooden insulate war walks has
caught fire from bubbleserupting within the tar, so just
not a good experience.
All throughout the uh,everything just uh burned up and

(01:20:39):
shit okay uh does it say how toget out of?
there, yeah, so, uh, it'sfinding.
The other constructs that canappear submerged within the tar
are as follows.
So you can see, telegraph poles, small power ponds, tower roofs
or what can soon be bungalows,metal rods, flat roofs, flat
roofs or brick houses.
How to get out?

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
Well, I'm going to tell you a little bit more how
to travel.
You got it bro.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
Individuals who survive as voluntary intoxicated
fumes will usually exit thelevel with burn marks, cuts or
charred soles of their shoes.
In fact, many unfortunatetravelers who wind up at level
41 often get marooned on smallislands that are so disconnected
from other landmasses,boardwalks or level exits that
they inevitably dehydrate orbecome poisoned by the tar's

(01:21:24):
fumes.
Despite these failures andunfortunate happenings, however,
successful expeditions acrossthis level have been previously
accomplished by other groups,which is what has brought much
of the currently knowninformation to light.
Despite all that has beenunderstood about this level, one
Lumen Mystery still overlooksthe entirety of the currently

(01:21:45):
written documentationsurrounding the Circular Lake
Restau sandy dunes that extendupwards for approximately 15
meters before presumablytapering down the other side and
going out of sight.
Despite efforts, it isimpossible to reach anywhere
closer than 50 meters of thedunes due to all traversable
objects not fixed and notexisting at any distance beyond

(01:22:08):
that figure it's.
Walking over the tarn isimpossible and imported
materials is just as impractical.
The hopes of ever reachingthese dunes have been deemed as
impossible, so I was going totouch on this.
Uh, just a small, just acreature that they have.
It's a eel-like entities thatreside within the tar.
So these creatures like anyform of flesh, muscle, skin or
other organs and simply resemblepartially fossilized bones,

(01:22:30):
which resemble an odd three-waycross between a snake and the
eel.
But I'm gonna get to those.
Uh, I got more details on theuh for those later.
Okay.
So entrances and exits uh,within level five's border room,
tar can occasionally drip onthe interconnected piping
instead of almond water standingoverhead.
These dripping tars willteleport oneself to level 41

(01:22:51):
another way.
So occasionally level six ispitch black.
Was walls may feel slimy andgooey instead of their usual
featureless, smooth texture.
Getting too much of thissubstance on one's hands will
trigger travel to this level.
Uh, the location of theseanomalous walls are not locked
to one location.
Seem to move from area to area.
Wherever wall is is located bya wanderer.

(01:23:13):
Inside of Level 7's house,underneath a submerged carpet on
the floor, is a crack in thefloorboards filled with half-tar
, half-water substance.
Interacting with the substancewill bring one to Level 41.
Entering a singular tar pit onan island of Level 211 and fully
submerging oneself within itwill drop individuals into this

(01:23:36):
level.
Following any of the rivers inlevel 270 for long enough will
eventually turn the rivers intoa sickening black hue.
Entering the rivers after thischange occurs will cause
individuals to end up here.
No clipping through anytar-covered or overly rotten
trees that still possessesleaves in level 309 will place

(01:23:56):
Wanderers on the slip.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
Damn bro, that thing got multiple entrances bro.
Yeah, it got a lot bro.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
So these are all the exits.
So to exit level 41, we'll haveto find standout objects that
are unique from the othersubmerged items within the tar,
from the other submerged itemswithin the tar.
To get to level 500, clamberinginside the broken window of a
submerged bridge for a usa navalnavy vessel, uh, also, somehow

(01:24:24):
getting getting oneself into thebooster nozzle of an upside
down nasa space shuttle, sinceit's submerged, you know, you
just got to get into the, intothe booster section and then so
most of the shuttles in questionis submerged within the tar,
only leaving a slight portion ofthe fuel, cancer, cancers, the
boosters and the booster nozzlein question.
This makes eat, makes access tothem relatively easy.

(01:24:48):
So to get level 612, findingall an odd barn door on the
stone planet and going throughit.
And level 626, climbing an oddbarn door on the stone planet
and going through it.
And level 626, climbing into asubmerged lighthouse gallery
only partially held above thesurface of the tar, then
tampering with a functionalflickering beacon within it.
Yeah, so that's, that's all theones for this place damn bro,

(01:25:09):
that's a lot for that place,right it's a huge place bro it
ain't nothing but despair, bro.
Like I said, bro, some explorersdie, bro, they just get bad
spawns, bro, and literally justget lost.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
Just get lost, bro.
I want to know what I'd do if Iwas on that floor, bro.
That floor bro Hopefully not beon one of them.
Little small islands, orwhatever they call them.

Speaker 1 (01:25:31):
Because you really can't travel.
You need one of them littleislands you travel through,
otherwise you're stuck whereverspot you land, one of the worst
ones.
Really my fault.

Speaker 2 (01:25:39):
Go ahead, no, you're good, this is level one.
This is called the habitablezone.
What it is?
It's an industrial concrete andmetal hallways.
There's dim lighting, exposedpipes and constant water
dripping, they say.
The air quality it smells likedamp, has like a metallic burnt
smell there, or whatever.
What people do there?

(01:25:59):
They search for supply crateswhich randomly appear containing
essentials like water, cannedfood, even weapons sometimes.
Oh shit, people tend to formsmall groups, though it's rare,
but there's also entities thatappear more often there, like
okay, this level, that's a goodso it's best to have a group.
That way, the more numbers youhave, the better your chance of

(01:26:21):
survival.
But also this floor is alsowhere wanderers set up
semi-permanent survival campsokay, so that's like.
Oh, so you can camp at these,uh, like some people do tend to
do camp.
Some people do tend to camp,like if it's safe enough for
them.
So how to escape from level one?
So what you do is you followthe pipes that run upward.

(01:26:42):
They often lead to stairwellsor access latches I mean hatches
to level two.
Some doors look like regularmaintenance doors but might no
clip you somewhere else oh shit,now I was gonna ask you what,
what is?

Speaker 1 (01:26:55):
because I've seen it like.
What is that?

Speaker 2 (01:26:57):
no clipping thing it's just like video games.
It's just like, it's literallyjust like a no clip when you're
getting a bad spot in the gameand then you end up falling
through the floor and then youcould like see above.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
So that's all you're doing, but like purposely, you
purposely trying, oh okay, okaywell some people do it purposely
.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
Some people do it because Fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:27:12):
I'm going to need for everything Me.

Speaker 2 (01:27:15):
People say I'm using aimbot People say I'm doing
glitches.
I just so happened to auto aimon you.
I knew you were peeking.
This random red box appearedout of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (01:27:25):
I didn't know that was you Not the random red box?

Speaker 2 (01:27:29):
I thought it was a perk, but there's some secrets
and tips.
Uh, they said some crates arebooby trapped.
They might have explosive.
It might be a bait for entitiesto like try and get you.
So be sure to inspect thembefore you open them.
And it says entities are oftenmimic, mimicking human voices so
trust only the people that youcan see, don't trust the voice

(01:27:52):
like around the corner, like,hey, come help.
Unless it's me, then come helpme I'm not saying no and it also
said the floors can floodsuddenly, so stay near higher
ground.
What the fuck?
Yeah, bro, flood.

Speaker 1 (01:28:06):
Yeah, the flood bro flood nah, just swim, just swim,
dummies, god nah bro that's itfor floor one level one for
floor one.

Speaker 2 (01:28:17):
Whatever y'all want to fucking call right um, I only
had these.

Speaker 1 (01:28:20):
Uh, oh, you only have those.
Oh shit, I got all these.

Speaker 2 (01:28:23):
No you're good, all right, let me tell you all these
then, real quick.
Well, I'll give it to yaya,I'll tell one and then I'll let
you do another one so this isfloor level two.
This is called pipe dreams.
So what?
It is?
Narrow corridors, walls coveredin hot steaming pipes, the air
is humid, filled with hissingsteam.
It's uncomfortably hot.
Heat stroke is a real danger.

(01:28:44):
People tend to move throughthis area fast.
Lingering is deadly.
Some wanderers often modifytheir clothes for heat
protection so you can gatherwater from leaking pipes, but
some leaks are like scolding orscalding hot.

Speaker 1 (01:28:58):
Yeah, really fucking hot.
So they said gotta put some icecubes on it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:01):
Bro, right, all you gotta do, come on man all you
gotta do just blow on it, sillygoose.
Uh, so what people do to escapeis, they said, there's crawl
spaces and maintenance hatchesoften lead to level three or
level four and then you can findthe cool pipe.
A single cold pipe hiddensomewhere might be a shortcut to

(01:29:22):
a different area.
So a little bit of secrets andtips about this.
They said you could touch thepipes carefully.
Some surfaces can burn skininstantly off and entities here
are adapted to heat.
They move fast in tight spaces.
And they said, a rhythmarithmetic, a rhythmic metal
banging sound sometimes leads toan exit but also might attract

(01:29:44):
the tension of the entity oh,okay like I guess like you bang,
yeah, you bang it, yeah, youbang it yeah yeah, so

Speaker 1 (01:29:51):
you can find the exit that way hang on, that's that,
that's the way it's all rightthere, right abandoned office.
So looks like a regular empty1980s office with desks, chairs,
computers and sometimes workingvending machines uh, sometimes
stocked.

Speaker 2 (01:30:07):
So it's you, you got, you got to take it out of the
stock if it's not you just hitthe machine, push all the
buttons, take everything right.

Speaker 1 (01:30:12):
I'll take it you with no one Right, so air feels
stale, like no one's been therefor decades.
But so, people, what they dohere is they like to rest, they
resupply and they map more roomsand whatnot.
Check vending machines.
Some dispense edible items,others dispense nonsense like

(01:30:32):
pepper clips.
Hey, you can't go wrong withsome pepper clips.
You can't, you can't unlock adoor with a pepper clip right
you can.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
I can unlock a door with a pepper clip.

Speaker 1 (01:30:40):
he can unlock a door with a pepper clip.
Uh, they try to accesscomputers.
Some contain data bums andother pointhubcom baby.
Instantly, instantly, I'll be awhole Randy Marsh Moment moment
.
My fingers touch that keyboardP-O-R-R-N, click, click, click,
click, click.
Right, I'm clicking on thatshit.

Speaker 2 (01:30:57):
What is it Chinese girls throwing up in your jersey
?

Speaker 1 (01:31:01):
I'm looking at the craziest shit on it.
So how do you escape?
So the emergency stairwellsometimes leads to level five,
sometimes back to level one,rarely and never better works,
but it may stop on unlistedlevels.
So secrets and tips If yourphone rings do not answer, my
dumb ass out of habit wouldanswer yeah, hello, you have

(01:31:24):
seven days.
No, no wrong number.
So this is Patrick.
So if your phone rings do notanswer, rumor to cause memory
wipes or attract entities.
Computers showing static arebad signs.
Something's nearby.
And this is one of the safestlevels.
But don't get too comfortable.

Speaker 2 (01:31:44):
That's the end of that one, that one actually
doesn't sound too bad, not toocrazy that one sounds better
than the fucking habitable zoneat level one.

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
Right With the floods and shit.
That one low-key that was notthat bad.
That one gave me.
With the phone call, though Iwill be the dumbest that one
gave me with that one, bro, Ifit rings too much, I like
sometimes I'll be riding withfriends and whatnot and don't
put the seatbelts on so thatbeeping just be annoying and sad
to me.
Same thing with the phone.
My mom used to yell when thephone kept ringing.

(01:32:13):
Nobody would pick it up.
That's engraved in my skull,bro.

Speaker 2 (01:32:16):
Got to pick up that phone, bro, Well if you pick it
up, it's going to wipe yourmemory, though what if we pick
it up but don't answer it?
Just pick it up like that Damn.

Speaker 1 (01:32:29):
Hey, that's how I'll be blocking when they be back
down, right you?

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
just click the button , click the thing, click Now.
You just pick up the phone andyou hear the thing on the other
side.
You have seven days and usuallypeople start screaming or
whatever, and it's just likehello.

Speaker 1 (01:32:43):
Is anyone there?
Usually people tend to screamby this point when I tell them
they have seven days.

Speaker 2 (01:32:47):
Is anybody there?

Speaker 1 (01:32:47):
Just fucking ignore.

Speaker 2 (01:32:50):
Seriously, ben seriously, on a Monday I knew I
should have fucking called off.
Today I read my horoscope.
My horoscope told me today youwill have difficulties, but you
must face them with an open mind.

Speaker 1 (01:33:00):
I am not built for this.
I cannot do this today.
You can't have a whole entitycrash out, man, you can walk
around the corner, y'all notpicking up the phone, huh.

Speaker 2 (01:33:08):
You know what?
Go down the hallway, take aleft, you get out of here.
Just don't come back.

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
They don't like it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
Hey, you have entities, get out, get out it,
just like scene change.
You just see the entity like inslippers, has the towel on
their head, have a whole robe.
Goes home TV turned on withjust static.
This again.
Seriously, they always air thesame show.
Marsha, did you?
Marsha, did you pay the TV bill, gosh?

(01:33:33):
Let me just get back On thephone calls.
I'm usually more it's prankcall.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
It's prank.
Call Hulk crash.
Is your fridge running?
Yeah, we should go catch it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:48):
Steve is that you.
Jesus, steve Hulk, comediansout here.

Speaker 1 (01:33:51):
Hulk comedians, hulk comedians.

Speaker 2 (01:33:53):
We should, we should do the animation for this.
Who else makes a skit like this?
Off the rip, right.
So this is going to be levelsix.
It's called Lights Out, so thisone's pure darkness, no natural
or artificial light.
Floors and walls feel smoothbut damp.
So sound echoes far but toomuch for the space size.
That's pretty creepy rightthere.

Speaker 1 (01:34:18):
Not even that, but like the damp walls right that
was I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:34:23):
So what people do here?
They try to move silentlyfilling walls.
To navigate, use sound clueslike dripping water, air
currents or even distantfootsteps.
Most either panic and die orlearn to see using sounds.

Speaker 1 (01:34:36):
See you sound whole echolocation, right, hold back,
hold tough, that's what toughwas doing.
Oh, right, right, that is whatshe was doing.
Right, she felt vibrationsright, yeah that's all you can
see.
Yeah, that should be crazy, butimagine unlocking a whole new
uh ability because you're in theback rooms, bro, you can see
with sound.

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
Bro, you can see with sound you get no clip with the
blind person.

Speaker 1 (01:34:59):
I can't see shit.

Speaker 2 (01:35:00):
Welcome to my world.
I can see everything here,though.
Watch out to your left there'sa wall.
Boom, amateurs, first time hunt.
The worst part, bro, you gottatouch the walls.

Speaker 1 (01:35:12):
To navigate, you gotta touch the walls the blind
person.

Speaker 2 (01:35:14):
Why the fuck are you rubbing the walls?
How does he know I can see you,I can feel your vibrations.
Right, I can feel yourvibrations, oh fuck.
So they say how to escape.
Crawling through tight ducts orfollowing faint drafts can lead
to level seven.
And they said there's rarefloating lights that might lead

(01:35:35):
to exits or traps.
So beware of that.
A little bit of secrets or tips.
You know light sources do notwork.
The darkness here isn't natural.
Entities here are mostly blind,but their hearing is sharp.
It said hold your breath Ifsomething passes nearby.

Speaker 1 (01:35:52):
Even breathing can give you away, nah, but see, see
, that's what I can't do,because it depends who I'm with.
I'm going to bust out laughing,bro.
I can't be quiet in serioussituations bro.

Speaker 2 (01:36:03):
Imagine, bro, pitch black, is you me?
Let's just say Jerooney.
Let's say Sammy, we're walking,everything's pitch black.
We're all like fuck, I can'tsee shit.
All you hear is who the fuckpassing gas down here.
It smell like shit, man.
You just hear Anthony.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
Bro, that's the crazy part.
You're just going to hear itall around you.
Bro, Took the whole fart in Nah, bro, I'll swallow.
Oh, here's Then you just hearin the distance, fart in.

Speaker 2 (01:36:36):
Nah, bro, I'll start, I'll swallow.

Speaker 1 (01:36:37):
Oh, here's, I'm looking at you.
Then you just hear in thedistance.

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
ah, I can't help but laugh.
Who the fuck got?

Speaker 1 (01:36:42):
clipped.

Speaker 2 (01:36:46):
Nah, if I hear somebody screaming, somebody
getting taken, they coming forme days, bro, for shits and
giggles bro.
I hear somebody getting yankedoff in the distance.
I'm like Could never be me.
Like you said, cortana recordthat, nah bro.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
I can't do it bro.
I can't do it bro.
I mean, it's already the fact.
You can't see, you can't seealready right.

Speaker 2 (01:37:12):
You can't see it smells like damp in there.

Speaker 1 (01:37:14):
It smells like damp, the walls are wet, which I
fucking hate.
That's like my.
I fucking hate that already.
And then you got to hold yourbreath as a creature.
That I can't see that I can'tsee going to walk by me.
Nah, old boy, it's a wrap forme bro.

Speaker 2 (01:37:36):
It's a wrap for me, somebody going to have to just
laugh and run.
Bro, you've got to become theentity.

Speaker 1 (01:37:40):
I'm going to start chasing the entity, the laughing
man.

Speaker 2 (01:37:43):
Yo hold up Become the entity.

Speaker 1 (01:37:46):
You become the entity .

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
Hold on?
I don't know, but that was thelast one I have.

Speaker 1 (01:37:52):
Okay, that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:37:52):
I mean there's plenty more.
I mean obviously.
Obviously the final tip if youdo happen to be in these back
rooms, make sure you have water,sharp weapon, earplugs,
notebook and pen, rope or chalk.

Speaker 1 (01:38:05):
Okay, Okay.
But then it says some of therooms erase the uh, erase the
markers though.

Speaker 2 (01:38:11):
Yeah, erase the markers though.
Yeah, some of the rooms, notall the rooms, though fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:38:15):
How will you know?

Speaker 2 (01:38:17):
you just come back to the market for shits and
giggles in the, in the pure darkroom.
I'll just write don't go thisway just for shits and giggles
got a whole penis in the dark.
It's like the tips over here.

Speaker 1 (01:38:35):
The balls are like all the way down here that old
man, that old man that can't seewho the fuck you this?

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
oh, the one that reads brown.
So there's an interestingmarking right here.
Don't go.
Don't go in here, don't go thisway.
Did somebody draw a penis?
Jesus, the balls are all theway down here.
Oh, goofballs.
But now that's gonna end thisepisode.
Like we said, this is gonna bea two-parter.
The next episode we're gonnatalk about the back rooms and

(01:39:01):
we're gonna talk more about theentities that you can encounter
on the floors maybe a little bitabout, like you said, the meg
or like the people that theorganizations.

Speaker 1 (01:39:10):
I see there's another organization in there too.

Speaker 2 (01:39:12):
Yeah, we're gonna talk about them, maybe
Organizations I see there'sanother organization in there
too.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutthem.
Maybe give some stories oraccounts, or maybe like give
like real life glitches thatpeople have had.

Speaker 1 (01:39:22):
Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:39:24):
Okay, weird glitches.
Like somebody like I swear, Iwalked into this back room and
then Something weird happened.
It might not be true, but it'spretty cool, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:39:33):
Okay, something weird happened.
It might not be true, but it'spretty cool.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:39:35):
But yeah, that's going to end off this episode,
Like we said, thank you forlistening.
Thank you all for tuning in.
You know we appreciate all thelove and support y'all give us.
Like I always say, thank youall so much.
Shout out to the person thatfollowed us on Instagram.
What's his name?
Flat, the.
What's his name?
Flat, the.
Oh, the dude you told me about.
Yeah, I'm going to give him ashout out.

(01:39:56):
Let me look up his podcast realquick.

Speaker 1 (01:39:59):
The Flat Tire Endies Ride With Me.
Is that what it was?
Flat?

Speaker 2 (01:40:03):
Flat Tire Endies right.
Yeah, Go ahead, give him theshout out, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:40:06):
Well, this one right Big shout out, Five big moves to
Flat Tire Andy's Ride With Me.
Podcast Reverend said they justadded us recently.
Are they just starting off?
No, they've been having it fora while.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
But I thought their thing was pretty cool.
I'm about to check out theirpodcast, but if y'all want to go
check out another podcast, youknow, go check out Flat Tire
Andy's Ride With Me podcast onSpotify.
I don't know if they have it onApple or anything, but I know
they have Spotify.
But yeah, they added us, youknow.
So shout out to you, Andy.
I think that's your name, I'mnot too sure.
Sorry, but thank you forfollowing us.

(01:40:44):
You know, I appreciate that.
Hopefully maybe we'll do like acollaboration or something
someday, I don't know how we'lldo that because you know I don't
know how we'll do that becauseyou know it says right here
they're out of like La Puente,oh yeah, out of Cali, out of.
California.
We're all the way over here inNorth Cackalacka.
Right, we're over here in theCarolinas, out in the cut.

Speaker 1 (01:41:04):
Out in the big cut.

Speaker 2 (01:41:06):
Out in the east-west, but it's still the south.

Speaker 1 (01:41:08):
Ties to that.

Speaker 2 (01:41:10):
A little bit up north .
Yeah, a little bit up norththat's how it is.

Speaker 1 (01:41:13):
You know what north carolina is such an eastern
state.

Speaker 2 (01:41:16):
But such a southern state, yeah like we wear that
south with pride, like texasdoes, minus the 10 gallon hat
right, man's the 10 gallon hats.
It's five gallons over hereright, it's five gallons, um,
but, like I said, thank you somuch.
Thank you again for all thefollow and everything.
Uh, shout out to all the peoplewho are listening.
Thank you for the people thatlike reoccurring listeners, you

(01:41:39):
know Big.
Shout out to my girlfriend forlistening to the episodes, you
know.
Thank you so much for catchingup.
Shout out to my cousin, pepe,for always listening.
Shout out to anybody that hasbeen listening that I don't know
who has continued to listen.

Speaker 1 (01:41:52):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
Oh like.

Speaker 1 (01:41:54):
Sammy for example.

Speaker 2 (01:41:55):
Oh yeah, but you know , don't forget to follow us on
Instagram at Cosmic Cove that'sK-O-S-M-I-C, underscore C-O-V-E.
Don't forget to follow us onYouTube at K-O-S-M-I-C space
C-O-V-E.
Don't forget to follow us onTikTok at K-O-S-M-I-C,
underscore C-O-V-E.

(01:42:16):
Y'all know, y'all be sure to golike, subscribe, follow, share
our TikToks.
You know, follow, subscribe tous on YouTube, share us to your
friends or whatever.
You know, maybe y'all liketalking about this type of stuff
.
You know, we'd reallyappreciate it.
It'd help us grow more, and youknow, and help us, uh, you know
, get, get uh, get out there,yeah get out there and have a

(01:42:37):
little community where we canall talk about this.
Uh, pretty cool and interestingstuff and just like shoot the
shit with each other and stufflike that, but, um, I'm passing
off to yayo.
You have anything that you needto say?

Speaker 1 (01:42:48):
no, I just want to give uh.
Thanks to sam and jerry.
They've been listening.
They really liked uh well, didthey yeah, they've been liking
last episode, uh, every episode,but especially the last episode
.
They liked it a lot, um, butyeah, just a shout out to them,
uh, yeah that'll be it all right.

Speaker 2 (01:43:04):
So I guess that's gonna end off on this episode.
We'll catch on the next one.

Speaker 1 (01:43:07):
So peace, peace.

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