July 26, 2025 • 36 mins
Hey friend, welcome back to Kyle Talks. I’m genuinely glad you’re here, showing up and sharing this space with me.
This episode? A good one. Hopefully it gave you a fresh take, challenged a perspective, or just made you feel seen. If it did, I’d love to hear from you or better yet, send it to someone who’d vibe with the convo too. Every share and message means more than you know, and it’s how this show keeps growing thank you for being part of that.
Got a thought, question, or something that stuck with you from today? Let’s keep the conversation going. You can always reach me on socials @KyleTHEHorton—I’m always down for a good chat.
And just in case no one’s said it lately: You matter. You’re doing better than you think. If you ever need a reset or a little push, this space will always be here for you.
Thanks for listening. I’ll catch you in the next one.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
People are watching you.
And that's a good thing.
Welcome back to Kyle Talks,where I'm Kyle and we talk.
(00:27):
Yo, yo, yo, what it do be doingthese streets man this I'm
feeling good.
I'm so excited to talk to youguys right now.
How's it going?
I'm going to chill out a littlebit.
How's it going?
How you guys doing?
Welcome back to Kyle talks whereI'm Kyle.
And we talk and I am so excitedto have you guys on today.
It is a beautiful Saturday.
I'm recording this on aWednesday before the Saturday so
(00:49):
you know.
Play with me here, rock with me.
(01:14):
Hopefully this podcast will helpyou get better.
And if you're having a greatday, well, it's about to get
even greater, greater.
Anyways, I'm in a good mood.
Praise God.
Guys, welcome back to Kyle Talksfrom Kyle and We Talk.
And this show is if this is yourfirst time here, this is a show
where we're making conversationcool again.
We're making talking to peoplecool again.
(01:36):
So I mean, talking to people whodon't look like you, don't vote
like you, don't pray like you,don't eat like you, don't dress
like you and having really goodconversation.
and hearing stories andunderstanding.
We are making having aconversation cool again.
And out of those conversations,we've heard some great stories
of regular everyday people you'dsee walking past you in the mall
(01:59):
on the street.
And they've done cool thingslike lose 500 pounds, be a voice
actor for Disney, have activecancer research.
They're like solving cancer andyou would never even know.
These are the conversations thatwe're missing out on.
And we just have to talk topeople.
We're making it cool.
So if this is your first timehere and that sounds great to
you, it'll challenge you alittle bit.
(02:20):
It's not going to be, even formyself, it'll challenge you, but
it'll be so rewarding.
You'll genuinely be a betterperson.
Come on into the Kotok Studio atSunny in the sunny, beautiful
Los Angeles, California.
Please, I got LaCroix.
I got White Claws on tap.
I like Pamplemousse, but we gotwhatever you're looking for.
And if you've been here multipletimes, Thank you so much.
(02:43):
Come back in.
We just got a new stock ofLaCroix's, so they're all set
for you.
And I would love to have youguys.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
As well, thank you guys for allthe love on that episode.
I've been growing more.
It feels like I'm starting toget my feet.
I don't know, my feet under me.
Me and Rio, unofficial producerRio, who this show cannot exist
(03:04):
without him.
We were talking over stats orlooking over things and talking
about the podcast and episodesand where to go, as we usually
do.
Like, we do that multiple timesa week.
And we were talking about somefeedback because I'm starting to
get more feedback.
It's not like...
(03:24):
In droves, you know, it's notlike hundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of people sendingfeedback.
But it's cool.
I'm getting feedback.
People are emailing, DMing me,texting me for those who I know,
giving me their feedback.
And me and Rio are talking aboutit.
He was like, well, people likeor there's or don't like what
you're saying.
You kind of feel like a realpodcaster.
(03:47):
I guess we're building acommunity and I am super happy
about that.
Yeah.
Thank you guys for all the love.
We're building this community.
We're small right now, but we'remighty.
And I'm really excited for whatwe're building over here at Kyle
Talks.
It's really good.
And on feedback of people notliking what I say, someone
reached out to me and said thatmy love for LaCroix and seltzer
(04:12):
means I have less testosteronein my body and super forced.
What?
Just say you don't like water alittle, bro.
Just say that.
I'll enjoy my LaCroix Zoecalories and my White Claws,
which are like 80, 100 calories.
You know what?
Look, I love you.
Thank you for thinking differentthan me.
(04:33):
But the LaCroix hate is soforced.
It's just water.
It's just water.
Why do people hate it?
I don't know.
I mean, hey, look, I appreciateyou.
Thank you for listening.
But hating on LaCroix feels soforced.
I don't know.
Is that just me?
Anyways.
Thank you guys so much for thelove and for the continued
(04:54):
growth of the podcast.
If you feel like, please leave areview.
That will help us grow even moreand bring more people.
So when you leave a review, whathappens is it recommends it to
other people.
Like, hey, a lot of people likethis content or whatever.
Maybe Kyle Talks.
Maybe you might like it and itrecommends it to more people so
they can get listening, getdownloaded, things like that.
(05:15):
So if you like what we stand forand our goal is here at Kyle
Talks, Please leave a review,maybe even share it on Twitter,
X, whatever it is, Instagram.
Leave a leave a review and shareit.
I would love for the communitiesto grow.
And we're so in the beginningstages of finally getting like
(05:35):
growing a community.
Your like and your share andyour review can really do a lot
for getting the podcast outthere.
So I appreciate it.
Thank you guys so much.
With that, that's all mye-begging.
No real yap today.
I'm just in a good mood and I'mreally excited to get into our
question of the day and our bossquestion and our topic.
(05:58):
You've already read the title.
You know what it's about.
I haven't even talked about ityet and you already know what
I'm going to talk about.
So let's jump into the bosssegment.
If this is your first time here,let me explain to you what this
is.
If you've been here before, youknow what this is.
So don't ruin it.
Let me tell them.
I know you're excited.
Let me tell them.
So our boss segment is beforeopening show.
So before I open the show and goto a main topic, there's a
(06:21):
chance for you to send aquestion into KyleTalksPodcast
at gmail.com and we just have aconversation.
It could be about literallyanything.
It could be about what's goingon in your life or some things
that you're struggling with.
Maybe you've had a huge W and Iwant to sit and celebrate for
you.
I'm a podcast about havingconversation.
And if I didn't have a partwhere I had a conversation with
(06:43):
everyone as I possibly could andwith the listeners, I would be a
sham, a charlatan, a scammer.
This is an opportunity for us tohave a conversation.
It's not I don't claim I'm 28years young.
I don't know what I don't know.
I'm almost 30.
I don't know what I don't know.
I just graduated college threeyears ago.
Like I'm learning a lot.
(07:03):
So these questions are more fromlike, hey, just maybe you don't
have a bro to talk to.
This is our chance to have aconversation.
This isn't like, oh, let'sfigure something out or I have
the answers.
Let me tell you the answer.
This is just for us to have aconversation as friends, as
bros.
Maybe bros who disagree oneverything.
It's just an opportunity for usto have a conversation.
That's it.
So if you'd like to send in yourquestion for a chance for it to
(07:26):
be read for a boss segment, goahead and send those questions
into KyleTalksPodcast atgmail.com and put boss, B-O-S-S
in the subject line.
So it's a little bit easier forme to find.
Today's question, we're going tojump right into it.
It's short and sweet.
Hey, Kyle Hunt.
Hey, Unofficial Producer Real.
Real quick, why does every emailstart with that?
(07:50):
Hey, I mean, I like it, but it'slike literally every email
started with that, which is kindof insane.
Kind of insane.
But let's get to you.
Like I said, short and sweet.
Hey, Kyle.
Hey, unofficial producer.
Rio.
How do I stop getting defensivewhen someone challenged my
beliefs or opinions?
Really like what you've beensaying lately.
And I don't know if I'm ready toopen myself up yet, but I know I
(08:11):
am ready to grow and I don'twant to shut down.
That's it.
W question.
Thank you for sending that in.
Is it?
If you're new to the podcast orif you've been here for a while,
you know we're really makinglike a full court press.
That's a basketball innuendo.
That's a basketball expression,full court press.
(08:32):
We've been really pressing onhow to have conversations
lately.
And that's the whole point ofthe podcast.
How to talk to people, how tolisten to people, even who don't
agree.
And if you haven't listened toepisode 157, go check that out
where we talk about Havingconversations with people.
So I think this is timely andit's really good.
(08:52):
This came in literally afterthat.
So someone wants to talk aboutit.
How do you stop being defensivewhen someone challenges your
beliefs or opinions?
I don't know.
Like I'm 28.
For those who don't know or doknow, I'm a Christian as well.
I believe Jesus is God.
He died on the cross and threedays later he arose.
I mean, he died for my sinsspecifically and everyone's
(09:13):
sins.
But like, yeah, I believe I'm asinner and Jesus washed that
away.
I don't know.
I have two things.
And maybe you guys can like, sothis is a conversation.
I don't know everything.
I don't have the answer toeverything.
So let me know what you guysthink.
But I think now this can be morechallenging depending on the
(09:33):
belief or opinion.
But I think people reallyidentify themselves closely with
with whatever belief or opinionyou have, and that automatically
represents you.
And I think that's where a lotof defensiveness comes from.
I could be wrong on that.
There's probably a lot ofdifferent reasons, to be honest,
but I think in my experience,again, 28, I haven't had a lot
(09:55):
of it, but I think that most ofthe defensiveness comes from
that.
What do I mean?
We identify with a beliefopinion or we or we have a hard
time like like yeah peoplearen't attacking me they're
attacking the idea so forexample Christianity it's very
(10:16):
personal right very personal andI do identify with Christianity
because that's like Jesus youknow the whole thing he lives in
me and all that when someonechallenges that idea at least
this is what I'm thinking in mymind maybe this might be
pertinent to you They're notattacking me or maybe they are.
Who cares, honestly, if theyare.
(10:38):
But if they're attacking,they're mainly attacking this
idea that I described to you ofChristianity.
Like, oh, I've heard commonthings.
How can you know Jesus rose fromthe dead?
If this person did exist, Jesus,if he did exist in a whole
universe, he cares about you.
Like, why would he care aboutyou if you masturbated or
something?
Or why does like the penalty forsin?
(11:01):
Things like that.
And so how I'm thinking aboutthat is sometimes people can be
malicious.
You know, you know what thatlooks like when someone's trying
to be malicious and they're nottrying to have a genuine
conversation.
Other times people have genuine,like, hey, those are good
questions to ask.
So if I'm me in that situation,I would think like, okay,
(11:23):
they're attacking me.
The base of my beliefs.
Yes, they are my beliefs, butthey're attacking those beliefs.
So how can we have a thoughtfuland productive?
I'll say it again.
How can we have a thoughtful,productive conversation about
those beliefs?
Whatever it may be.
I use religion for this one, butit could be political or
(11:45):
literally anything you pick.
So, yeah, I think that's how youstop getting defensive.
I mean, I could be wrong.
I think there's lots ofdifferent ways to stop being
defensive.
But I think especially intoday's age as a zoomer and with
the conversations going on rightnow, we think it's like really
cool to identify it withopinions and beliefs.
(12:07):
And we really get close likethis is who I am, like pick
whatever, whatever you want.
This is who I am.
Yeah.
That's not terrible.
That's not a terrible thing todo, depending on the belief or
opinion.
But what is terrible is whensomeone criticizes that belief
or opinion, you take iteternally.
Oh, they're attacking me.
(12:29):
Maybe, you know, maybe they are,but they really have a problem
with that belief because theywant to have a problem with you
until you vocalize that beliefor opinion.
So now their real issue isactually with your belief in
your opinion, not you as aperson.
Because it was all sunshine andfriendship until I vocalized
this.
You know what I mean?
So I think that's more ofidentifying with the beliefs or
(12:54):
opinion, which happens.
It's natural.
But I genuinely feel like weneed to learn to separate from
those things and see peopleattacking the idea and not your
opinion.
And I think that's what kind offuels the growth that will help
us grow and not shut down.
Oh, they hate my podcast.
political opinion.
They hate my religious opinion.
They hate my economic opinion.
(13:16):
They think trickle economicsworks, and I think it doesn't.
I'm going to shut down.
Brother, you are not trickledown economics.
Stand up.
You have a spine.
I know the good Lord gave youone.
Stand up.
Stand straight.
Know what you believe.
Know why you believe, and have athoughtful conversation.
If it's a time for a debate,it's a time for a debate.
If it's not, you don't need tohave...
(13:37):
I mean, I talk about this inother episodes, but...
Last thing I'll say, cause Ican, I can feel a tangent
coming.
Not every, not everything.
Oh, you believe in that?
Why?
Brother, I'm drinking fruitpunch right now.
Hawaiian punch.
This is not a time for a debate.
You know what I mean?
Like different times, differentplaces.
Like I can tell you why, but I'mnot going to sit here and have
(13:58):
like 15 minute rebuttal.
Like that's insane.
You know what I mean?
Like time places, but I hopethat helps.
But yeah, read everything what Ijust said.
I think we identify withbeliefs, opinions.
People generally don't have aproblem with you until you
vocalize something they disagreewith, and then they have a
problem.
What does that mean?
That means they don't have aproblem with you.
(14:19):
They have a problem with thatbelief or opinion.
And learn how to separate those,even if they are attacking you.
And I really think that willgive us the option to grow.
So I hope that was helpful.
I know I kind of went on atangent there.
If you want more informationabout this, if this question
intrigued you, If you identifywith this question, please go
check out episode 156 or excuseme, 157.
(14:42):
Let me tell you right now.
Sorry.
No, check out 156.
Go check out episode 156.
You're not like them.
It's a really good likelaunching pad and to this
question.
And this question reallyrevolves around that.
So check out that episode ifthis intrigues you.
Thank you for your question.
(15:04):
Again, that was our bosssegment.
(15:27):
They come from my experience,what I've been seeing, what I've
been hearing, conversations withpeople, how those conversations
went, and people.
People, people.
I think you could summarize allthat by saying it revolves
around people.
And I think with that episode,with that in mind, people are
watching you.
(15:49):
Yeah, and honestly, that's areally good thing.
And here, where is this comingfrom?
I'll share.
As you guys know, I wasdiagnosed with MS about a month
ago.
A year and a half ago?
Two years ago?
Very open with it.
God's good.
I work out.
I'm on medication.
(16:09):
Praise God for modernmedication.
Because if I got MS in the1950s, rest in peace.
Like, it ain't happening.
So I'm very grateful for modernmedication.
Very grateful for gyms and stufflike that.
So anyways...
I used to be a D1 collegiatefootball player.
I stopped, went to school,decided football for a plethora
(16:30):
of reasons, not for me.
That was mainly due to health.
That's a whole nother episode.
But then I gained a lot ofweight, to be honest, almost 100
pounds.
And I...
Got diagnosed with MS.
That was really hard.
I stopped working out for sixmonths because I was like
(16:51):
slurring my speech, blah, blah,blah.
It wasn't good.
Got medication.
They diagnosed it.
It's good.
And then I looked in the mirrorone day and I was like, man,
I...
And you might be able to relateto this.
I don't know.
Maybe, hopefully, if it doesrelate to you, W.
If not, no big deal.
I was like, oh, Kyle, whathappened?
(17:12):
I...
I mean, I still got moves today,but there are not nearly is.
And we'll talk about why thatis.
But I had like huge moves.
I mean, we're talking like.
We're talking like.
Milkshake level moves, you know,and I'm talking about myself, so
this is OK.
I can say this about myself.
We were talking like.
(17:33):
Yeah, you know, I mean, likewe're talking like.
Yeah, you know what I'm talkingabout?
And I had a big belly.
And me personally, it wasn'tanyone feeding it to my ear.
It wasn't people telling melike, hey, you look bad.
Actually, it was none of that.
I never heard that.
Thank God.
Yeah.
I don't know what that would doto my mental, but I never heard
that.
(17:54):
Um, and I thought to myself,man, you used to play football.
It used to be like really strongtoned.
Um, you're always, I was, I'vealways been a little chunky.
I'm okay with that.
Um, but I was like really chunkyand I told myself I'd never go
over three 50 when I was in highschool.
Um, cause I've always been abigger guy that doesn't bother
me too much to be honest.
Um, but I was too big.
(18:14):
I was way too big.
And I remember thinking like, Ijust got a mess working out
helps, um, with MS.
It's like, Your first medicationis the infusion and stuff that I
take every six months, which isa godsend.
The second medicine right afterright under that is working out
because you're telling yournerves and your body and your
muscles like this is.
(18:35):
This is how we work.
You don't tell me.
I know my body's gettingattacked by myself.
It's an autoimmune disease.
For those who don't know, it'slike I tell my body what to do.
You don't, you as in my body, mybody, you don't tell me what to
do.
I tell you what to do, Kyle.
And I had a conversation to mywife, like, hey, I'm not feeling
(18:56):
about this.
And I was looking at myself andI'm like, you're kind of sad.
Oh, woe is me, MS.
MS.
Things like that.
What was me?
And that was super attractive.
Not a good time in my life.
Not a good time.
Like literally whatsoever.
And I decided to myself, youknow, I'm going to go to I'm
(19:18):
going to I'm going to get to280.
I'm going to go to the gym everyday.
I'm going to calorie deficit andI'm going to get the freaking
thing.
Like I'm not going to sit hereand be sad for myself.
I believe like a man can beemotional.
I do believe men should cry.
But like I need to be a rock formy family.
And my future family, my wife,like I need it to be that.
So anyways, all that.
(19:38):
I know that was a long preface,but I started this weight loss
journey.
And my goal is 280.
I started at 361 and currentlyI'm 322.
So I won't make another videoabout this until I hit 280.
Because I don't want to makeanother video.
I'm not even at my goal yet.
But this interaction reallyaffected me.
(19:59):
So I've been working out for along time now.
I really started focusing onweight loss.
about a year, a few months.
I'm doing the slow, like I don'tneed to be overnight, you know,
super light, but I want to takemy time with it.
I'm in here for the long game.
Here's, here's, here's my story.
(20:21):
You guys know how I felt at 361,what made me want to start the
journey.
You know, you saw, I kind of sawthe before moments I kind of
shared, but I want to talk aboutlike The struggles in an
interaction that reallypropelled this episode.
The kindness of people is alittle bit of a spoiler.
(20:41):
But there's obviously bigstruggles with trying to lose
weight.
There's progress, which isgreat.
And I've talked about that onthe podcast before.
And what I have not talked aboutis a lot of the pain.
I genuinely believe whateveryou're going through, whether it
be weight loss, MS, a medicaldiagnosis or what this podcast
is about.
(21:01):
having conversations with otherpeople.
It was all about going throughpain, that initial pain.
So for the listener who sent inthat question, the pain of
wanting to grow, the pain of notwanting to stay the same, that
is painful.
When we're talking about havingnew conversations with people,
that is painful.
(21:21):
Don't just open your, I knowwhat I'm asking you to do with
this podcast.
Trust me, I know what I'm askingyou.
I'm asking you to open yourselfup to get hurt.
I trust I've had people say, doyou really understand what the
goal of your podcast is and whatyou're asking?
I am crystal clear.
I understand what I'm asking.
I understand you need to gothrough the pain to get to the
(21:44):
progress and the pain of havingconversations.
You have to start by openingyourself up, removing the
identity from yourself, removingthe belief and opinions from who
you are.
As we discussed earlier, theyoffer home with you.
They have a problem with thisidea and understanding what that
difference is and making itsmall steps, you know, but
(22:05):
overnight I'm ready to have allthe conversations that is so
unrealistic.
It's not even funny, right?
That's not the progress doesn'thappen like that.
Progress happens over time.
So for in a different way for mewith calories and all that
stuff, I'm not going to bore youcraving practically hungry all
(22:25):
the time.
Um, But what I really want totalk about is consistency and
the mental battles of this.
You have to be consistent.
If you're going to the gym,great.
Go to the gym.
Sam Sulek, there's a reallygood, really good inverse
relationship here I want toshare.
A long time ago, I saw somethingthat said, you go to the gym one
(22:48):
time, you're not a differentperson.
You're just more tired.
That's all.
But if you go to the gym...
300 times, 1,000 times, 2,000.
You're going to look completelydifferent from the person you
were when you went to your firstworkout versus the 3,000th
(23:08):
workout.
It stacks up.
It builds up.
And doing that consistently, ifyou go to the gym once every
month, there's going to be nodifference.
You're not going to look anydifferent, and that's all you
do.
But if you go consistently those3,000 times, whoa, I'm talking
to a whole different person thanI was talking to you The first
(23:28):
time you're on your 3000 timeand you look way different than
your first time.
That's there's a lot of thingsto that, but it's mainly mental
like, oh, I don't want to showup today.
I don't want to do this.
Doing that really counts.
And that's what working out hastaught me is taught me that
consistency going.
And I think about that quote alot and I think it's really
good.
That's a mental battle, though.
(23:51):
That's all entirely in yourhead.
I got to do this.
I got that motivation at 2 a.m.,But it's like whatever, whatever
time for the gym.
And I don't got that samemotivation.
Go anyways.
Open yourself up to me the sameway we talk to people.
Oh, man.
I really opened myself up thereto have a conversation about our
beliefs.
And the conversation went OK.
(24:13):
But I'm Tucker and I'm not goingto do that again for probably
another three months to recover.
You've lost the point, myfriend.
You've completely lost the plot.
It has gone over your head.
You don't even understand whatyou're trying to go for.
And that everyone has a periodlike that.
So I guess that's okay, but notreally like you have lost.
You have to mentally say, andthis is so relate in today's
(24:36):
conversation culture.
This is more evident than ever.
I know this, this sound maysound crazy connecting these
two, but it's so relevant.
It's kind of scary today.
You have to open yours.
Oh, they believe this.
Why I should have thatconversation about them.
Um, Oh, Kyle just encouraged me.
Thanks, Kyle.
(24:57):
Oh, my other friends are sayingthey think I'm a little bit
smarter.
I ask for their questions.
That stuff is important.
Keep going.
Even when you don't, you'regoing to grow.
You have to go through pain toget to the progress.
And really what kind of evolved,what brought this conversation
of the kindness of strangers,saying nice things and saying
(25:18):
like, oh, I have grown.
When people grow, Come up toyou.
So I was at the gym.
Here's the story.
I know it took forever to gethere.
But here's the story thatinspired this podcast.
I was at the gym last.
This is two weeks ago.
I've had a lot of time to thinkabout it.
It's a very good thing.
At least I perceive it as good.
I was at the gym.
It was a Friday.
I was doing ab stuff and I wason my last set.
(25:41):
And dude, I was drenched insweat.
I was cooked.
I was like super tired.
I ain't going to count you.
I was super tired.
I was excited to get it done, domy cardio and go home and go to
Chili's that Friday or whatever.
And this old dude, he was built.
He's a good, he's like a stronglooking old dude.
I have no idea who he was.
Haven't spoke to him.
(26:02):
Not once in my life.
He came up to me, tap me on theshoulder, you know, take off
their ball, whatever.
And I was, and he said, man, youlook so good today.
And I was still kind of like inmy head.
I was like, sorry, what wasthat?
He was like, how much weighthave you lost?
And I was like, oh, thanks.
I was like, yeah, I've lostabout 40 or so pounds.
(26:25):
And he said, he was like, look,you don't know who I am, but I
see you Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
I see you every day.
You work out every day.
You give me hope for the younggeneration.
You encourage me that the youngpeople can still do this.
Keep going because there'salways someone watching and you
(26:45):
have zero idea who it is.
Shook my hand and left.
Don't know his name.
I haven't seen him since, to behonest.
I mean, maybe we go a differenttime, but apparently he sees me
every time.
That was so good for me to hear.
Now, I'm not saying this like.
Please don't miss my words.
I'm not saying this is likeKyle's the best.
(27:05):
Kyle's so consistent, blah,blah, blah.
There's people who are way moreconsistent than me, way more
stronger than me, way more, youknow, like there is those
people.
There's always someone betterout there.
So I don't think I'm thegreatest thing since sliced
cheese because there's peoplewho are better than me and
consistency, things like that.
But the point was that words ofkindness.
What I've been really thinkingabout was like.
(27:27):
He's been watching me, which iskind of weird.
Not kind of weird, but it cancome off as weird at first.
Like, man, I don't even know whoyou are.
I don't even know your name, butyou see me come in every day and
you see me working every day andI'd have no idea you even exist.
Those are the things we need tostrive for.
There's two things I want us totake away from that.
(27:50):
One, Be consistent.
Do the hard things.
Because people are going tonotice.
I don't care if it's going tothe gym.
Doing drawings.
Having better relationships.
Or having better conversationswith people.
Or being able to expressyourself.
Introvert or extrovert.
Doesn't matter.
Being able to articulate yourwords better.
(28:11):
Whatever that looks like.
Man, you've been really...
I can tell you know what you'retalking about.
Man...
I've seen the growth in you justtalking to people.
And to be honest with you, it'sinsane.
I'm talking to you right now.
I know you're kind of iffy.
There's a lot of pain in openingyourself up.
But I can really tell you'rethinking more and you're asking
better questions.
And you're putting that judgmentto the side.
(28:34):
You just want to understandpeople.
That doesn't come naturally.
That doesn't come like this.
And I snapped my fingers.
I don't know if you heard.
That doesn't come likeinstantly.
That takes time.
That's a skill.
That's a muscle you have to workout.
And I mean that.
I can see that in you.
I really do mean that.
(28:54):
So one, be consistent.
I don't care what playing avideo game, trying to be the
best of the video game.
I really don't care what it is.
But being consistent in that,especially what this podcast is
about, talking to people,opening up to being able to
articulate your words.
That's important.
And two, and this is also, we'reall about community, positive
(29:15):
thinking.
Two, tell that to someone.
And don't tell it to someonethat's some BS.
Don't tell it to someone just tosay it.
Don't tell it to someone just tobe like, oh, yeah, you know,
whatever.
I'm just going to say thisbecause it sounds super nice.
Because the person would belike, what are you talking
about?
If you're saying something nicelike that, I mean, you're
noticing change and consistencyto someone who is not doing
(29:38):
anything, they're going to belike, what are you talking
about?
I'm not even trying.
So they're not even going toappreciate it, one.
And two, they're going to thinkyou're a fool.
Why are they telling me this?
This has nothing to do with me.
This has zero to do with me.
Why are they telling me this?
They're lying to me.
Yeah, sure, they're trying to benice, but they're lying.
Don't do that.
Don't.
(30:00):
Don't tell people just to soundnice or feel good about
yourself.
Find that one person yougenuinely are like, you don't
tell them that.
Tell them that.
It's important.
You want people to tell youthat?
We're a community about peoplewho don't look, vote, eat, pray,
believe the same.
Tell them that.
You know how powerful that is?
Not only for you, but also theperson, not only for the person
(30:24):
receiving it, but for you toopen up, put yourself down and
say, hey, you're really killingit lately.
And I'm actually gettinginspired from you.
Keep going.
Tell two things we take away.
One, be consistent.
Again, I don't care what it isthat you're being consistent
with.
Do it.
Even if it's showering everyday.
(30:45):
Some people have struggled withthat.
We don't shame.
Who cares?
They're having to struggle withit, but they're being
consistent.
Amen.
And then two, tell them, besincere.
Don't say, be sincere.
Amen.
Dude, I've really and you may belaughing because the example,
but listen to what I'm saying.
Oh, dude, you've been sharingmore, bro.
Big ups, man.
(31:05):
I know that can be a strugglefor you.
You're killing it, bro.
Keep it up.
That's going to do so much foryou and for the other person
across from you.
And when you mean it and whenit's actually applicable, when
it's actually applicable, youmean it.
Man, it does so much for you,too.
It did so much for me.
I was happy.
I felt way better about myselfand knowing me, myself, Kyle, I
(31:29):
am chasing after goals.
I think that's clear.
I have goals, both socially,professionally with the podcast,
my weight, things like that.
I have goals.
But hearing it from someoneelse, that's a complete
stranger.
That's a stranger.
I don't even know this guy'sname as of recording this.
I literally don't know it.
Him telling me that.
(31:50):
encouraged me.
It strengthened me.
You know what, Kyle?
Keep on doing it.
You weren't feeling motivated.
Maybe now you are.
You weren't feeling motivated,but you had discipline to show
up.
And look how that repays you.
That's not going to work everytime.
That's not how it's going tohappen every time.
But it only needs to happen oncefor it to really strengthen what
(32:11):
you believe in.
And so that's, I don't want toget up for too long, but that's
the big idea.
That's why you want to keepdoing it.
Keep being consistent, even whenit's hard, even when no one sees
because someone does and youhave no idea they do see it or
eventually you will see whetherthis is in your job and your
(32:33):
marriage and relationships withyour boyfriend, girlfriend,
family, friends and yourspiritual walk.
And if you're recovering fromsomething, if you're healing
from something in your personalgrowth, whatever that looks like
for you, Keep going.
Keep being consistent.
Because someone is watching thatyou don't know.
Or two, they'll eventually seeit.
They'll eventually catch on.
(32:54):
Keep going.
One, be consistent.
Two, tell someone they're beingconsistent.
That will do so much for themand for you.
Tell them.
Tell them.
Be realistic.
Tell the truth.
But like, man, I'm reallynoticing, bro.
Amen.
(33:15):
Keep it up, bro.
And also, spoiler, that's goingto bless you.
I'm sorry.
I don't care if you're aChristian or not.
That is going to bless you.
It blesses them and will blessyou.
Final things I want to say.
You're not working for the goal.
Whatever the goal is.
Job, marriage, workout, podcast,showering.
(33:36):
You're not just going for thatgoal.
You're going for the person thatyou'll eventually become when
you get there.
In whatever that looks like.
So I need you to know twothings.
If you've heard nothing elseI've said, I want you to hear
these two things.
I'm going to repeat it again.
One, be consistent.
Two, tell someone they're beingconsistent.
(33:56):
Show genuineness.
Appreciate them for what they'redoing.
And that will go so far for youand the person.
So that's why I challenge youtoday.
I challenge you this week to beconsistent.
And I challenge you, this is thebig one, tell someone they're
being consistent.
Let them know maybe they'regoing to the gym quietly.
Maybe they're studying quietly.
Maybe they have some goal thatyou know about, that only you
(34:20):
know about.
Like, hey, man, I've reallynoticed you've been making
progress.
Be honest.
If they're not making progress,don't tell them that.
If they're not making progress,don't tell them.
Don't lie.
But if they aren't, tell themthat.
That's going to do so much foryou guys.
All in all, we're not promisedeasy.
We're promised hard work thatwill show up.
(34:40):
So let's do it together.
Let's do it together.
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that.
I just had that interaction atthe gym and I really felt It
applied to not only, you know,work, working out and things
like that, but you're going fora goal.
And whatever that goal is, Ithink it applied.
I enjoyed it.
It made me happy.
It made me feel good, to behonest.
I'm hearing that.
(35:00):
So hopefully something clickedwith you and you really enjoyed
it.
If you enjoyed this episode,please, please, please ask.
I beg you.
I beg you.
Tell me what movie that's from.
Leave a review.
If you felt motivated,encouraged, or like...
seen by this episode please goahead and leave a review um and
(35:23):
share this episode to send itdirectly to a friend um family
member and then share theepisode to twitter x instagram x
or instagram i'm gonna tag me atkyle the horton um and let's get
this conversation going let'sget it let's invite more people
who don't look vote believe eatum or pray the same let's get
them in here let's have thatconversation and encourage
(35:46):
someone it's a it's anencouraging kind of week and So
go encourage someone.
I hope you guys enjoyed.
Remember, one man died on thecross for your sins.
And that man's name is Jesus.
And he did that because he lovesyou so much.
Hope you guys enjoy.
I'll see you guys next time onKyle Talks.
UNKNOWN (36:05):
Peace.
People are watching you.
And that's a good thing.
Welcome back to Kyle Talks,where I'm Kyle and we talk.
(00:27):
Yo, yo, yo, what it do be doingthese streets man this I'm
feeling good.
I'm so excited to talk to youguys right now.
How's it going?
I'm going to chill out a littlebit.
How's it going?
How you guys doing?
Welcome back to Kyle talks whereI'm Kyle.
And we talk and I am so excitedto have you guys on today.
It is a beautiful Saturday.
I'm recording this on aWednesday before the Saturday so
(00:49):
you know.
Play with me here, rock with me.
(01:14):
Hopefully this podcast will helpyou get better.
And if you're having a greatday, well, it's about to get
even greater, greater.
Anyways, I'm in a good mood.
Praise God.
Guys, welcome back to Kyle Talksfrom Kyle and We Talk.
And this show is if this is yourfirst time here, this is a show
where we're making conversationcool again.
We're making talking to peoplecool again.
(01:36):
So I mean, talking to people whodon't look like you, don't vote
like you, don't pray like you,don't eat like you, don't dress
like you and having really goodconversation.
and hearing stories andunderstanding.
We are making having aconversation cool again.
And out of those conversations,we've heard some great stories
of regular everyday people you'dsee walking past you in the mall
(01:59):
on the street.
And they've done cool thingslike lose 500 pounds, be a voice
actor for Disney, have activecancer research.
They're like solving cancer andyou would never even know.
These are the conversations thatwe're missing out on.
And we just have to talk topeople.
We're making it cool.
So if this is your first timehere and that sounds great to
you, it'll challenge you alittle bit.
(02:20):
It's not going to be, even formyself, it'll challenge you, but
it'll be so rewarding.
You'll genuinely be a betterperson.
Come on into the Kotok Studio atSunny in the sunny, beautiful
Los Angeles, California.
Please, I got LaCroix.
I got White Claws on tap.
I like Pamplemousse, but we gotwhatever you're looking for.
And if you've been here multipletimes, Thank you so much.
(02:43):
Come back in.
We just got a new stock ofLaCroix's, so they're all set
for you.
And I would love to have youguys.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
As well, thank you guys for allthe love on that episode.
I've been growing more.
It feels like I'm starting toget my feet.
I don't know, my feet under me.
Me and Rio, unofficial producerRio, who this show cannot exist
(03:04):
without him.
We were talking over stats orlooking over things and talking
about the podcast and episodesand where to go, as we usually
do.
Like, we do that multiple timesa week.
And we were talking about somefeedback because I'm starting to
get more feedback.
It's not like...
(03:24):
In droves, you know, it's notlike hundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of people sendingfeedback.
But it's cool.
I'm getting feedback.
People are emailing, DMing me,texting me for those who I know,
giving me their feedback.
And me and Rio are talking aboutit.
He was like, well, people likeor there's or don't like what
you're saying.
You kind of feel like a realpodcaster.
(03:47):
I guess we're building acommunity and I am super happy
about that.
Yeah.
Thank you guys for all the love.
We're building this community.
We're small right now, but we'remighty.
And I'm really excited for whatwe're building over here at Kyle
Talks.
It's really good.
And on feedback of people notliking what I say, someone
reached out to me and said thatmy love for LaCroix and seltzer
(04:12):
means I have less testosteronein my body and super forced.
What?
Just say you don't like water alittle, bro.
Just say that.
I'll enjoy my LaCroix Zoecalories and my White Claws,
which are like 80, 100 calories.
You know what?
Look, I love you.
Thank you for thinking differentthan me.
(04:33):
But the LaCroix hate is soforced.
It's just water.
It's just water.
Why do people hate it?
I don't know.
I mean, hey, look, I appreciateyou.
Thank you for listening.
But hating on LaCroix feels soforced.
I don't know.
Is that just me?
Anyways.
Thank you guys so much for thelove and for the continued
(04:54):
growth of the podcast.
If you feel like, please leave areview.
That will help us grow even moreand bring more people.
So when you leave a review, whathappens is it recommends it to
other people.
Like, hey, a lot of people likethis content or whatever.
Maybe Kyle Talks.
Maybe you might like it and itrecommends it to more people so
they can get listening, getdownloaded, things like that.
(05:15):
So if you like what we stand forand our goal is here at Kyle
Talks, Please leave a review,maybe even share it on Twitter,
X, whatever it is, Instagram.
Leave a leave a review and shareit.
I would love for the communitiesto grow.
And we're so in the beginningstages of finally getting like
(05:35):
growing a community.
Your like and your share andyour review can really do a lot
for getting the podcast outthere.
So I appreciate it.
Thank you guys so much.
With that, that's all mye-begging.
No real yap today.
I'm just in a good mood and I'mreally excited to get into our
question of the day and our bossquestion and our topic.
(05:58):
You've already read the title.
You know what it's about.
I haven't even talked about ityet and you already know what
I'm going to talk about.
So let's jump into the bosssegment.
If this is your first time here,let me explain to you what this
is.
If you've been here before, youknow what this is.
So don't ruin it.
Let me tell them.
I know you're excited.
Let me tell them.
So our boss segment is beforeopening show.
So before I open the show and goto a main topic, there's a
(06:21):
chance for you to send aquestion into KyleTalksPodcast
at gmail.com and we just have aconversation.
It could be about literallyanything.
It could be about what's goingon in your life or some things
that you're struggling with.
Maybe you've had a huge W and Iwant to sit and celebrate for
you.
I'm a podcast about havingconversation.
And if I didn't have a partwhere I had a conversation with
(06:43):
everyone as I possibly could andwith the listeners, I would be a
sham, a charlatan, a scammer.
This is an opportunity for us tohave a conversation.
It's not I don't claim I'm 28years young.
I don't know what I don't know.
I'm almost 30.
I don't know what I don't know.
I just graduated college threeyears ago.
Like I'm learning a lot.
(07:03):
So these questions are more fromlike, hey, just maybe you don't
have a bro to talk to.
This is our chance to have aconversation.
This isn't like, oh, let'sfigure something out or I have
the answers.
Let me tell you the answer.
This is just for us to have aconversation as friends, as
bros.
Maybe bros who disagree oneverything.
It's just an opportunity for usto have a conversation.
That's it.
So if you'd like to send in yourquestion for a chance for it to
(07:26):
be read for a boss segment, goahead and send those questions
into KyleTalksPodcast atgmail.com and put boss, B-O-S-S
in the subject line.
So it's a little bit easier forme to find.
Today's question, we're going tojump right into it.
It's short and sweet.
Hey, Kyle Hunt.
Hey, Unofficial Producer Real.
Real quick, why does every emailstart with that?
(07:50):
Hey, I mean, I like it, but it'slike literally every email
started with that, which is kindof insane.
Kind of insane.
But let's get to you.
Like I said, short and sweet.
Hey, Kyle.
Hey, unofficial producer.
Rio.
How do I stop getting defensivewhen someone challenged my
beliefs or opinions?
Really like what you've beensaying lately.
And I don't know if I'm ready toopen myself up yet, but I know I
(08:11):
am ready to grow and I don'twant to shut down.
That's it.
W question.
Thank you for sending that in.
Is it?
If you're new to the podcast orif you've been here for a while,
you know we're really makinglike a full court press.
That's a basketball innuendo.
That's a basketball expression,full court press.
(08:32):
We've been really pressing onhow to have conversations
lately.
And that's the whole point ofthe podcast.
How to talk to people, how tolisten to people, even who don't
agree.
And if you haven't listened toepisode 157, go check that out
where we talk about Havingconversations with people.
So I think this is timely andit's really good.
(08:52):
This came in literally afterthat.
So someone wants to talk aboutit.
How do you stop being defensivewhen someone challenges your
beliefs or opinions?
I don't know.
Like I'm 28.
For those who don't know or doknow, I'm a Christian as well.
I believe Jesus is God.
He died on the cross and threedays later he arose.
I mean, he died for my sinsspecifically and everyone's
(09:13):
sins.
But like, yeah, I believe I'm asinner and Jesus washed that
away.
I don't know.
I have two things.
And maybe you guys can like, sothis is a conversation.
I don't know everything.
I don't have the answer toeverything.
So let me know what you guysthink.
But I think now this can be morechallenging depending on the
(09:33):
belief or opinion.
But I think people reallyidentify themselves closely with
with whatever belief or opinionyou have, and that automatically
represents you.
And I think that's where a lotof defensiveness comes from.
I could be wrong on that.
There's probably a lot ofdifferent reasons, to be honest,
but I think in my experience,again, 28, I haven't had a lot
(09:55):
of it, but I think that most ofthe defensiveness comes from
that.
What do I mean?
We identify with a beliefopinion or we or we have a hard
time like like yeah peoplearen't attacking me they're
attacking the idea so forexample Christianity it's very
(10:16):
personal right very personal andI do identify with Christianity
because that's like Jesus youknow the whole thing he lives in
me and all that when someonechallenges that idea at least
this is what I'm thinking in mymind maybe this might be
pertinent to you They're notattacking me or maybe they are.
Who cares, honestly, if theyare.
(10:38):
But if they're attacking,they're mainly attacking this
idea that I described to you ofChristianity.
Like, oh, I've heard commonthings.
How can you know Jesus rose fromthe dead?
If this person did exist, Jesus,if he did exist in a whole
universe, he cares about you.
Like, why would he care aboutyou if you masturbated or
something?
Or why does like the penalty forsin?
(11:01):
Things like that.
And so how I'm thinking aboutthat is sometimes people can be
malicious.
You know, you know what thatlooks like when someone's trying
to be malicious and they're nottrying to have a genuine
conversation.
Other times people have genuine,like, hey, those are good
questions to ask.
So if I'm me in that situation,I would think like, okay,
(11:23):
they're attacking me.
The base of my beliefs.
Yes, they are my beliefs, butthey're attacking those beliefs.
So how can we have a thoughtfuland productive?
I'll say it again.
How can we have a thoughtful,productive conversation about
those beliefs?
Whatever it may be.
I use religion for this one, butit could be political or
(11:45):
literally anything you pick.
So, yeah, I think that's how youstop getting defensive.
I mean, I could be wrong.
I think there's lots ofdifferent ways to stop being
defensive.
But I think especially intoday's age as a zoomer and with
the conversations going on rightnow, we think it's like really
cool to identify it withopinions and beliefs.
(12:07):
And we really get close likethis is who I am, like pick
whatever, whatever you want.
This is who I am.
Yeah.
That's not terrible.
That's not a terrible thing todo, depending on the belief or
opinion.
But what is terrible is whensomeone criticizes that belief
or opinion, you take iteternally.
Oh, they're attacking me.
(12:29):
Maybe, you know, maybe they are,but they really have a problem
with that belief because theywant to have a problem with you
until you vocalize that beliefor opinion.
So now their real issue isactually with your belief in
your opinion, not you as aperson.
Because it was all sunshine andfriendship until I vocalized
this.
You know what I mean?
So I think that's more ofidentifying with the beliefs or
(12:54):
opinion, which happens.
It's natural.
But I genuinely feel like weneed to learn to separate from
those things and see peopleattacking the idea and not your
opinion.
And I think that's what kind offuels the growth that will help
us grow and not shut down.
Oh, they hate my podcast.
political opinion.
They hate my religious opinion.
They hate my economic opinion.
(13:16):
They think trickle economicsworks, and I think it doesn't.
I'm going to shut down.
Brother, you are not trickledown economics.
Stand up.
You have a spine.
I know the good Lord gave youone.
Stand up.
Stand straight.
Know what you believe.
Know why you believe, and have athoughtful conversation.
If it's a time for a debate,it's a time for a debate.
If it's not, you don't need tohave...
(13:37):
I mean, I talk about this inother episodes, but...
Last thing I'll say, cause Ican, I can feel a tangent
coming.
Not every, not everything.
Oh, you believe in that?
Why?
Brother, I'm drinking fruitpunch right now.
Hawaiian punch.
This is not a time for a debate.
You know what I mean?
Like different times, differentplaces.
Like I can tell you why, but I'mnot going to sit here and have
(13:58):
like 15 minute rebuttal.
Like that's insane.
You know what I mean?
Like time places, but I hopethat helps.
But yeah, read everything what Ijust said.
I think we identify withbeliefs, opinions.
People generally don't have aproblem with you until you
vocalize something they disagreewith, and then they have a
problem.
What does that mean?
That means they don't have aproblem with you.
(14:19):
They have a problem with thatbelief or opinion.
And learn how to separate those,even if they are attacking you.
And I really think that willgive us the option to grow.
So I hope that was helpful.
I know I kind of went on atangent there.
If you want more informationabout this, if this question
intrigued you, If you identifywith this question, please go
check out episode 156 or excuseme, 157.
(14:42):
Let me tell you right now.
Sorry.
No, check out 156.
Go check out episode 156.
You're not like them.
It's a really good likelaunching pad and to this
question.
And this question reallyrevolves around that.
So check out that episode ifthis intrigues you.
Thank you for your question.
(15:04):
Again, that was our bosssegment.
(15:27):
They come from my experience,what I've been seeing, what I've
been hearing, conversations withpeople, how those conversations
went, and people.
People, people.
I think you could summarize allthat by saying it revolves
around people.
And I think with that episode,with that in mind, people are
watching you.
(15:49):
Yeah, and honestly, that's areally good thing.
And here, where is this comingfrom?
I'll share.
As you guys know, I wasdiagnosed with MS about a month
ago.
A year and a half ago?
Two years ago?
Very open with it.
God's good.
I work out.
I'm on medication.
(16:09):
Praise God for modernmedication.
Because if I got MS in the1950s, rest in peace.
Like, it ain't happening.
So I'm very grateful for modernmedication.
Very grateful for gyms and stufflike that.
So anyways...
I used to be a D1 collegiatefootball player.
I stopped, went to school,decided football for a plethora
(16:30):
of reasons, not for me.
That was mainly due to health.
That's a whole nother episode.
But then I gained a lot ofweight, to be honest, almost 100
pounds.
And I...
Got diagnosed with MS.
That was really hard.
I stopped working out for sixmonths because I was like
(16:51):
slurring my speech, blah, blah,blah.
It wasn't good.
Got medication.
They diagnosed it.
It's good.
And then I looked in the mirrorone day and I was like, man,
I...
And you might be able to relateto this.
I don't know.
Maybe, hopefully, if it doesrelate to you, W.
If not, no big deal.
I was like, oh, Kyle, whathappened?
(17:12):
I...
I mean, I still got moves today,but there are not nearly is.
And we'll talk about why thatis.
But I had like huge moves.
I mean, we're talking like.
We're talking like.
Milkshake level moves, you know,and I'm talking about myself, so
this is OK.
I can say this about myself.
We were talking like.
(17:33):
Yeah, you know, I mean, likewe're talking like.
Yeah, you know what I'm talkingabout?
And I had a big belly.
And me personally, it wasn'tanyone feeding it to my ear.
It wasn't people telling melike, hey, you look bad.
Actually, it was none of that.
I never heard that.
Thank God.
Yeah.
I don't know what that would doto my mental, but I never heard
that.
(17:54):
Um, and I thought to myself,man, you used to play football.
It used to be like really strongtoned.
Um, you're always, I was, I'vealways been a little chunky.
I'm okay with that.
Um, but I was like really chunkyand I told myself I'd never go
over three 50 when I was in highschool.
Um, cause I've always been abigger guy that doesn't bother
me too much to be honest.
Um, but I was too big.
(18:14):
I was way too big.
And I remember thinking like, Ijust got a mess working out
helps, um, with MS.
It's like, Your first medicationis the infusion and stuff that I
take every six months, which isa godsend.
The second medicine right afterright under that is working out
because you're telling yournerves and your body and your
muscles like this is.
(18:35):
This is how we work.
You don't tell me.
I know my body's gettingattacked by myself.
It's an autoimmune disease.
For those who don't know, it'slike I tell my body what to do.
You don't, you as in my body, mybody, you don't tell me what to
do.
I tell you what to do, Kyle.
And I had a conversation to mywife, like, hey, I'm not feeling
(18:56):
about this.
And I was looking at myself andI'm like, you're kind of sad.
Oh, woe is me, MS.
MS.
Things like that.
What was me?
And that was super attractive.
Not a good time in my life.
Not a good time.
Like literally whatsoever.
And I decided to myself, youknow, I'm going to go to I'm
(19:18):
going to I'm going to get to280.
I'm going to go to the gym everyday.
I'm going to calorie deficit andI'm going to get the freaking
thing.
Like I'm not going to sit hereand be sad for myself.
I believe like a man can beemotional.
I do believe men should cry.
But like I need to be a rock formy family.
And my future family, my wife,like I need it to be that.
So anyways, all that.
(19:38):
I know that was a long preface,but I started this weight loss
journey.
And my goal is 280.
I started at 361 and currentlyI'm 322.
So I won't make another videoabout this until I hit 280.
Because I don't want to makeanother video.
I'm not even at my goal yet.
But this interaction reallyaffected me.
(19:59):
So I've been working out for along time now.
I really started focusing onweight loss.
about a year, a few months.
I'm doing the slow, like I don'tneed to be overnight, you know,
super light, but I want to takemy time with it.
I'm in here for the long game.
Here's, here's, here's my story.
(20:21):
You guys know how I felt at 361,what made me want to start the
journey.
You know, you saw, I kind of sawthe before moments I kind of
shared, but I want to talk aboutlike The struggles in an
interaction that reallypropelled this episode.
The kindness of people is alittle bit of a spoiler.
(20:41):
But there's obviously bigstruggles with trying to lose
weight.
There's progress, which isgreat.
And I've talked about that onthe podcast before.
And what I have not talked aboutis a lot of the pain.
I genuinely believe whateveryou're going through, whether it
be weight loss, MS, a medicaldiagnosis or what this podcast
is about.
(21:01):
having conversations with otherpeople.
It was all about going throughpain, that initial pain.
So for the listener who sent inthat question, the pain of
wanting to grow, the pain of notwanting to stay the same, that
is painful.
When we're talking about havingnew conversations with people,
that is painful.
(21:21):
Don't just open your, I knowwhat I'm asking you to do with
this podcast.
Trust me, I know what I'm askingyou.
I'm asking you to open yourselfup to get hurt.
I trust I've had people say, doyou really understand what the
goal of your podcast is and whatyou're asking?
I am crystal clear.
I understand what I'm asking.
I understand you need to gothrough the pain to get to the
(21:44):
progress and the pain of havingconversations.
You have to start by openingyourself up, removing the
identity from yourself, removingthe belief and opinions from who
you are.
As we discussed earlier, theyoffer home with you.
They have a problem with thisidea and understanding what that
difference is and making itsmall steps, you know, but
(22:05):
overnight I'm ready to have allthe conversations that is so
unrealistic.
It's not even funny, right?
That's not the progress doesn'thappen like that.
Progress happens over time.
So for in a different way for mewith calories and all that
stuff, I'm not going to bore youcraving practically hungry all
(22:25):
the time.
Um, But what I really want totalk about is consistency and
the mental battles of this.
You have to be consistent.
If you're going to the gym,great.
Go to the gym.
Sam Sulek, there's a reallygood, really good inverse
relationship here I want toshare.
A long time ago, I saw somethingthat said, you go to the gym one
(22:48):
time, you're not a differentperson.
You're just more tired.
That's all.
But if you go to the gym...
300 times, 1,000 times, 2,000.
You're going to look completelydifferent from the person you
were when you went to your firstworkout versus the 3,000th
(23:08):
workout.
It stacks up.
It builds up.
And doing that consistently, ifyou go to the gym once every
month, there's going to be nodifference.
You're not going to look anydifferent, and that's all you
do.
But if you go consistently those3,000 times, whoa, I'm talking
to a whole different person thanI was talking to you The first
(23:28):
time you're on your 3000 timeand you look way different than
your first time.
That's there's a lot of thingsto that, but it's mainly mental
like, oh, I don't want to showup today.
I don't want to do this.
Doing that really counts.
And that's what working out hastaught me is taught me that
consistency going.
And I think about that quote alot and I think it's really
good.
That's a mental battle, though.
(23:51):
That's all entirely in yourhead.
I got to do this.
I got that motivation at 2 a.m.,But it's like whatever, whatever
time for the gym.
And I don't got that samemotivation.
Go anyways.
Open yourself up to me the sameway we talk to people.
Oh, man.
I really opened myself up thereto have a conversation about our
beliefs.
And the conversation went OK.
(24:13):
But I'm Tucker and I'm not goingto do that again for probably
another three months to recover.
You've lost the point, myfriend.
You've completely lost the plot.
It has gone over your head.
You don't even understand whatyou're trying to go for.
And that everyone has a periodlike that.
So I guess that's okay, but notreally like you have lost.
You have to mentally say, andthis is so relate in today's
(24:36):
conversation culture.
This is more evident than ever.
I know this, this sound maysound crazy connecting these
two, but it's so relevant.
It's kind of scary today.
You have to open yours.
Oh, they believe this.
Why I should have thatconversation about them.
Um, Oh, Kyle just encouraged me.
Thanks, Kyle.
(24:57):
Oh, my other friends are sayingthey think I'm a little bit
smarter.
I ask for their questions.
That stuff is important.
Keep going.
Even when you don't, you'regoing to grow.
You have to go through pain toget to the progress.
And really what kind of evolved,what brought this conversation
of the kindness of strangers,saying nice things and saying
(25:18):
like, oh, I have grown.
When people grow, Come up toyou.
So I was at the gym.
Here's the story.
I know it took forever to gethere.
But here's the story thatinspired this podcast.
I was at the gym last.
This is two weeks ago.
I've had a lot of time to thinkabout it.
It's a very good thing.
At least I perceive it as good.
I was at the gym.
It was a Friday.
I was doing ab stuff and I wason my last set.
(25:41):
And dude, I was drenched insweat.
I was cooked.
I was like super tired.
I ain't going to count you.
I was super tired.
I was excited to get it done, domy cardio and go home and go to
Chili's that Friday or whatever.
And this old dude, he was built.
He's a good, he's like a stronglooking old dude.
I have no idea who he was.
Haven't spoke to him.
(26:02):
Not once in my life.
He came up to me, tap me on theshoulder, you know, take off
their ball, whatever.
And I was, and he said, man, youlook so good today.
And I was still kind of like inmy head.
I was like, sorry, what wasthat?
He was like, how much weighthave you lost?
And I was like, oh, thanks.
I was like, yeah, I've lostabout 40 or so pounds.
(26:25):
And he said, he was like, look,you don't know who I am, but I
see you Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
I see you every day.
You work out every day.
You give me hope for the younggeneration.
You encourage me that the youngpeople can still do this.
Keep going because there'salways someone watching and you
(26:45):
have zero idea who it is.
Shook my hand and left.
Don't know his name.
I haven't seen him since, to behonest.
I mean, maybe we go a differenttime, but apparently he sees me
every time.
That was so good for me to hear.
Now, I'm not saying this like.
Please don't miss my words.
I'm not saying this is likeKyle's the best.
(27:05):
Kyle's so consistent, blah,blah, blah.
There's people who are way moreconsistent than me, way more
stronger than me, way more, youknow, like there is those
people.
There's always someone betterout there.
So I don't think I'm thegreatest thing since sliced
cheese because there's peoplewho are better than me and
consistency, things like that.
But the point was that words ofkindness.
What I've been really thinkingabout was like.
(27:27):
He's been watching me, which iskind of weird.
Not kind of weird, but it cancome off as weird at first.
Like, man, I don't even know whoyou are.
I don't even know your name, butyou see me come in every day and
you see me working every day andI'd have no idea you even exist.
Those are the things we need tostrive for.
There's two things I want us totake away from that.
(27:50):
One, Be consistent.
Do the hard things.
Because people are going tonotice.
I don't care if it's going tothe gym.
Doing drawings.
Having better relationships.
Or having better conversationswith people.
Or being able to expressyourself.
Introvert or extrovert.
Doesn't matter.
Being able to articulate yourwords better.
(28:11):
Whatever that looks like.
Man, you've been really...
I can tell you know what you'retalking about.
Man...
I've seen the growth in you justtalking to people.
And to be honest with you, it'sinsane.
I'm talking to you right now.
I know you're kind of iffy.
There's a lot of pain in openingyourself up.
But I can really tell you'rethinking more and you're asking
better questions.
And you're putting that judgmentto the side.
(28:34):
You just want to understandpeople.
That doesn't come naturally.
That doesn't come like this.
And I snapped my fingers.
I don't know if you heard.
That doesn't come likeinstantly.
That takes time.
That's a skill.
That's a muscle you have to workout.
And I mean that.
I can see that in you.
I really do mean that.
(28:54):
So one, be consistent.
I don't care what playing avideo game, trying to be the
best of the video game.
I really don't care what it is.
But being consistent in that,especially what this podcast is
about, talking to people,opening up to being able to
articulate your words.
That's important.
And two, and this is also, we'reall about community, positive
(29:15):
thinking.
Two, tell that to someone.
And don't tell it to someonethat's some BS.
Don't tell it to someone just tosay it.
Don't tell it to someone just tobe like, oh, yeah, you know,
whatever.
I'm just going to say thisbecause it sounds super nice.
Because the person would belike, what are you talking
about?
If you're saying something nicelike that, I mean, you're
noticing change and consistencyto someone who is not doing
(29:38):
anything, they're going to belike, what are you talking
about?
I'm not even trying.
So they're not even going toappreciate it, one.
And two, they're going to thinkyou're a fool.
Why are they telling me this?
This has nothing to do with me.
This has zero to do with me.
Why are they telling me this?
They're lying to me.
Yeah, sure, they're trying to benice, but they're lying.
Don't do that.
Don't.
(30:00):
Don't tell people just to soundnice or feel good about
yourself.
Find that one person yougenuinely are like, you don't
tell them that.
Tell them that.
It's important.
You want people to tell youthat?
We're a community about peoplewho don't look, vote, eat, pray,
believe the same.
Tell them that.
You know how powerful that is?
Not only for you, but also theperson, not only for the person
(30:24):
receiving it, but for you toopen up, put yourself down and
say, hey, you're really killingit lately.
And I'm actually gettinginspired from you.
Keep going.
Tell two things we take away.
One, be consistent.
Again, I don't care what it isthat you're being consistent
with.
Do it.
Even if it's showering everyday.
(30:45):
Some people have struggled withthat.
We don't shame.
Who cares?
They're having to struggle withit, but they're being
consistent.
Amen.
And then two, tell them, besincere.
Don't say, be sincere.
Amen.
Dude, I've really and you may belaughing because the example,
but listen to what I'm saying.
Oh, dude, you've been sharingmore, bro.
Big ups, man.
(31:05):
I know that can be a strugglefor you.
You're killing it, bro.
Keep it up.
That's going to do so much foryou and for the other person
across from you.
And when you mean it and whenit's actually applicable, when
it's actually applicable, youmean it.
Man, it does so much for you,too.
It did so much for me.
I was happy.
I felt way better about myselfand knowing me, myself, Kyle, I
(31:29):
am chasing after goals.
I think that's clear.
I have goals, both socially,professionally with the podcast,
my weight, things like that.
I have goals.
But hearing it from someoneelse, that's a complete
stranger.
That's a stranger.
I don't even know this guy'sname as of recording this.
I literally don't know it.
Him telling me that.
(31:50):
encouraged me.
It strengthened me.
You know what, Kyle?
Keep on doing it.
You weren't feeling motivated.
Maybe now you are.
You weren't feeling motivated,but you had discipline to show
up.
And look how that repays you.
That's not going to work everytime.
That's not how it's going tohappen every time.
But it only needs to happen oncefor it to really strengthen what
(32:11):
you believe in.
And so that's, I don't want toget up for too long, but that's
the big idea.
That's why you want to keepdoing it.
Keep being consistent, even whenit's hard, even when no one sees
because someone does and youhave no idea they do see it or
eventually you will see whetherthis is in your job and your
(32:33):
marriage and relationships withyour boyfriend, girlfriend,
family, friends and yourspiritual walk.
And if you're recovering fromsomething, if you're healing
from something in your personalgrowth, whatever that looks like
for you, Keep going.
Keep being consistent.
Because someone is watching thatyou don't know.
Or two, they'll eventually seeit.
They'll eventually catch on.
(32:54):
Keep going.
One, be consistent.
Two, tell someone they're beingconsistent.
That will do so much for themand for you.
Tell them.
Tell them.
Be realistic.
Tell the truth.
But like, man, I'm reallynoticing, bro.
Amen.
(33:15):
Keep it up, bro.
And also, spoiler, that's goingto bless you.
I'm sorry.
I don't care if you're aChristian or not.
That is going to bless you.
It blesses them and will blessyou.
Final things I want to say.
You're not working for the goal.
Whatever the goal is.
Job, marriage, workout, podcast,showering.
(33:36):
You're not just going for thatgoal.
You're going for the person thatyou'll eventually become when
you get there.
In whatever that looks like.
So I need you to know twothings.
If you've heard nothing elseI've said, I want you to hear
these two things.
I'm going to repeat it again.
One, be consistent.
Two, tell someone they're beingconsistent.
(33:56):
Show genuineness.
Appreciate them for what they'redoing.
And that will go so far for youand the person.
So that's why I challenge youtoday.
I challenge you this week to beconsistent.
And I challenge you, this is thebig one, tell someone they're
being consistent.
Let them know maybe they'regoing to the gym quietly.
Maybe they're studying quietly.
Maybe they have some goal thatyou know about, that only you
(34:20):
know about.
Like, hey, man, I've reallynoticed you've been making
progress.
Be honest.
If they're not making progress,don't tell them that.
If they're not making progress,don't tell them.
Don't lie.
But if they aren't, tell themthat.
That's going to do so much foryou guys.
All in all, we're not promisedeasy.
We're promised hard work thatwill show up.
(34:40):
So let's do it together.
Let's do it together.
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that.
I just had that interaction atthe gym and I really felt It
applied to not only, you know,work, working out and things
like that, but you're going fora goal.
And whatever that goal is, Ithink it applied.
I enjoyed it.
It made me happy.
It made me feel good, to behonest.
I'm hearing that.
(35:00):
So hopefully something clickedwith you and you really enjoyed
it.
If you enjoyed this episode,please, please, please ask.
I beg you.
I beg you.
Tell me what movie that's from.
Leave a review.
If you felt motivated,encouraged, or like...
seen by this episode please goahead and leave a review um and
(35:23):
share this episode to send itdirectly to a friend um family
member and then share theepisode to twitter x instagram x
or instagram i'm gonna tag me atkyle the horton um and let's get
this conversation going let'sget it let's invite more people
who don't look vote believe eatum or pray the same let's get
them in here let's have thatconversation and encourage
(35:46):
someone it's a it's anencouraging kind of week and So
go encourage someone.
I hope you guys enjoyed.
Remember, one man died on thecross for your sins.
And that man's name is Jesus.
And he did that because he lovesyou so much.
Hope you guys enjoy.
I'll see you guys next time onKyle Talks.
UNKNOWN (36:05):
Peace.
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