September 17, 2023 • 50 mins
Hey Love! Are your relationships bringing you growth or grief? Are you setting boundaries or letting people trample over your space? Discover how to identify and nurture meaningful connections, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate personal growth. We'll explore the reason-based, seasonal, and lifetime relationships- understanding the unique value each one brings to our lives just in time for cuffing season. Because when you know... you grow!
Question: How do you hold yourself accountable to the frequency you bring into your connections or do you always look for an excuse to explain away your bullshit?
Episode Resources:
Show Your Support:
- Don't forget to give us a review!
- Send in your questions, stories, or reflections (details below)
- Don't forget to share this episode with 1 person who needs it!
- You can also support the show by providing a love offering if this message helps you in any way. All donations are used to keep L_ve Frequency growing!
: : WANT TO SEND THE SHOW A TEXT? : :
CLICK slide into our DMs to share how this episode made you feel.
: : C O N N E C T W I T H M E : :
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@l_vefrequency
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/l_vefrequency/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lvefrequency/
YouTube: coming soon
About Nia Blk: songwhip.com/niablk
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, love, how have you been?
I know you're waiting on anupdate from my friend and let me
tell you I've talked to her.
She's doing wonderful, buty'all will never believe where
this story is gonna take us.
But before we get into that, Iwanna talk about reason.
Season lifetime.
The first of fall is September23rd, and making time to be
(00:27):
reflective at the end of eachseason can be so important to
your personal journey.
It can show you where you'vebeen and help you determine
where you're growing or not, solet's talk about it.
Are now tuning into lovefrequency, where love grows, so
(00:50):
let's go.
Welcome, welcome, welcome tolove frequency, the podcast that
helps you transform your paininto power, and we do that
through conversations thatinspire an increased level of
self-awareness.
I'm your host, nia, and I'vebeen told that I'm that friend
(01:14):
that you need to talk to, butyou don't wanna talk to often
because it's a conversationyou've been avoiding.
So welcome, honey, andcongratulations on finally
choosing you.
And thank you for choosing lovefrequency on whatever podcast
platform you might be listeningto me on.
(01:35):
If you can go ahead and give usfive stars, I appreciate it.
It's free, takes a coupleseconds, but what it does for
others.
It allows other people to seethe show, it moves us up in
ranking.
We are here to do the work thatwe also desperately need, so go
ahead.
We are on Spotify, apple Music,deezer, Audible everywhere,
(02:00):
pandora, ihr Radio, y'all.
I could keep going.
But wherever you might belistening, please make the time
to give back, because when youknow, you grow, and that's all
we're trying to do here is helppeople grow.
Get into the story of the weekNow.
(02:22):
These stories are conversationsthat have inspired this week's
episode, and I don't know ifyou're like me, but when
patterns start to resurface, Istart to pay attention.
I am far less hard headed thanI used to be, and now I'm very
aware that when things show upin repeat form, I need to start
(02:43):
paying attention, baby, becauseI'm on to my next level, my next
phase of learning myself alittle bit better.
Recently, a few people from mypast have resurfaced, and I
don't know about you or if thishas happened to you, but every
time that happens, I'm far moreintrigued by the way they
(03:05):
resurface.
It always seems to start withsome sort of apology, followed
by an explanation, but with noindication of personal
self-reflection, just attemptsto explain.
It should've way.
What's even crazier is that inboth of these scenarios I'm
about to run down for you theexplanation they provided is one
(03:26):
that they had already triedback then, and I'm wondering why
they think that a year or morehas passed, and I'll just forget
the specifics.
Baby, you know what?
Love frequency absolutely wasborn out of a breakup, but I
have been collecting experiencesleading up to this point.
(03:48):
I was born to do this.
I have experienced some veryinteresting encounters with
people that have allowed me togrow and to be more reflective
in a way that I never knewpossible.
But miss me with the bullshit.
I've seen it and you've alreadytried it.
So what makes you think tryingit again is gonna change the
(04:10):
outcome?
Moreover, what's the outcome?
What are you hoping to gainfrom popping back up?
What was your hope?
My dear, if you've ever been ina connection with somebody
where you fucked up and you hadtime to reflect, and then you
come back and you wanna tellthat person hey, man, listen,
shit happened, my bad, I justwanted you to know that that's
(04:32):
it.
My question for you,respectfully, is how do you hold
yourself accountable to thefrequency that you bring into
your connections, or do youalways look for an excuse to
explain away your bullshit.
Oh yeah, we gonna talk about ittoday.
Sit down, get comfortable,cause this thought water about
(04:53):
to be real good ["Sweet Love"].
If you have a question for theLove Frequency podcast or a
story you'd like to share, or ifyou wanna respond to some of
the things that we're talkingabout here, come on, baby.
I love to have openconversation and dialogue.
Just know that that goes twoways.
(05:14):
So if you getting ready to give, be ready to receive.
In love.
Of course, you can go ahead andemail those to lovefreak at
gmailcom that's L-V-E-F-R-E-Q atgmailcom.
Or go ahead and inbox me onsocial media.
I am on TikTok, instagram andFacebook at L-V-E-Frequency
(05:42):
that's L-Frequency.
But as always, I'll leave thisinformation in the show notes.
And for those of you who justlive in your left mind cause you
can't get right, I'm not askingyou to slide into my DMs, okay.
I'm asking you to send me aninbox.
It's like an email, right?
Okay?
So let's get into this thoughtwater For this episode.
(06:04):
It's gonna be real good.
I also believe we're probablygonna go beyond the 15, 20
minutes.
I try to wrap each episode.
I do it for me.
I'm not gonna lie.
Trying to manage a podcast byyourself can be a very big task
if you're not set up properlywith the right systems.
So I kept mine at a certaintime because editing is a bitch.
(06:29):
I've been getting feedback fromfolks saying they wish that I
would give a little bit more.
You might be right.
So if you don't have a story toshare or a question, go ahead
and email the show or inbox meif you are also someone who
wouldn't mind longer episodesCause I'mma be honest, man, 30
(06:50):
minutes just me, but thisepisode might get there, cause I
got a lot of shit on my mind.
If you are new here, baby,thought water is the part of the
episode where I share mythoughts on what I've been
thinking.
And here is that verbal asswhooping that you've been
needing but avoiding but don't.
Would love Know that myintention here is to see you be
(07:13):
your highest, most free,unedited self and nothing more.
So let's get into it.
Talking about reason season,lifetime and you know how we use
that before Somebody comes intoyour life, don't work out the
way it should, or somethinghappens unexpectedly, and I
think many of us have used thisphrase to explain away shit.
(07:37):
Let's take a different look atit.
While some people come and goquickly from your life, others
seem to stick around.
The main idea behind thisconcept of reason season,
lifetime is all aboutrelationships, regardless of
their length, having some sortof purpose.
So let's break down thisthree-part theory.
(07:59):
Reason is when a short-livedrelationship brings you a
benefit or helps you with arealization.
It helps you with a specificdifficulty you're facing, either
intentionally orunintentionally.
That's reason season.
Now, this is when arelationship accompanies you
(08:20):
through a certain period of yourlife.
It lasts for some time andbrings you joy and growth.
You might learn a lot from thisrelationship, but it eventually
ends.
So that's season and lifetime.
Well, this is a relationshipthat lasts a lifetime.
Where did this idea come from?
(08:43):
I'm not sure if a lot of youknow but the origin of this
phrase.
This isn't a scientific study.
This isn't a philosophicalquandary.
It was a poem.
It was the line to a poem.
Now the author of this poem hasbeen debated, but I'm gonna
read to you all this poem so itcan give you kind of further
(09:05):
history into where reason,season, lifetime, originated,
and I want you to tell me how itmakes you feel.
People always come into yourlife for a reason, a season and
a lifetime when you figure outwhich you know exactly what to
do.
When someone is in your lifefor a reason, it's usually to
(09:26):
meet a need you have expressedoutwardly or inwardly.
They've come to assist youthrough a difficulty or to
provide you with guidance andsupport, to aid you physically,
emotionally and even spiritually.
They may even seem like agodsend to you, and they are.
They are there for a reason.
(09:48):
You need them to be Then,without any wrongdoing on your
part or any inconvenient time,this person will say or do
something to bring therelationship to an end.
Sometimes they die, sometimesthey just walk away, sometimes
they act up or out and force youto take a stand.
(10:09):
What we must realize is thatour need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, the work isdone, the prayer you sent up has
been answered and now it's timeto move on.
When people come into your lifefor a season, it's because your
turn has come to share, grow orlearn.
(10:32):
They may bring you anexperience of peace or make you
laugh.
They may teach you somethingyou have never done.
They usually give you anunbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it's real, but onlyfor a season.
And, like spring turns tosummer and summer to fall, the
(10:54):
season eventually ends.
Lifetime relationships teachyou a lifetime of lessons, those
things you must build upon inorder to have a solid emotional
foundation.
Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person or
people and put what you havelearned to use in all other
(11:15):
relationships and areas of yourlife.
It is said that love is blind,but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part ofmy life.
Let us sit with that, becausenumber one, I do believe if most
(11:36):
of us knew the origins of wherethis phrase came from, we would
stop applying our owndefinitions and really pay
attention to the rationale andthe logic in this poem.
I'm even gonna go on to sayI've read and researched a lot
of articles on this topic andmost of them, if not all,
approached this conversationfrom a one-sided perspective.
(11:58):
And I really think if you readthis poem, you could see that
there are two sides happening atthe same time.
Two things can be true at thesame time.
Now, there is a strong linkagebetween connections and their
importance on our mental andphysical health, but many have
used reason season, lifetime toexplain a way loss.
(12:20):
I believe this phrase can alsobe used to explain the cause and
effect of the energy we bringinto relationships.
Now I'm gonna explain this bylooking at three concepts from
this poem through my own livedexperience.
So, baby, let's jump in.
And so, reason-basedconnections.
(12:45):
These are connections thatpresent themselves to show us
something within us that we needto take heed to.
The poem essentially mentionedthere is something that you have
called out to the universe, tothe higher power that you
believe in, and then the answerarrives, but it's not gonna
arrive in the way that we thinkit will.
(13:05):
Right, let me explain to youwhat I mean.
I met this individual rightaround the time I was
conceptualizing love frequency Idon't believe I have started
recording, and again, this ishow long this was so I had been
out of that very transformativebreakup and knew that love
frequency was the thing that wasgonna come from that.
(13:27):
That was the greatest lessonthat I walked away with was
understanding my frequency andconnections.
So I took the time that Ithought I needed to be alone.
And then what happens?
You get tired of being alone,but not because you've actually
healed or because you're doingbetter, you're just bored.
Let's be real.
You just want somebody to fillthe void.
(13:49):
Your nights are lonely, and forme, I'm not sure where the fear
came from, but I think I guessI've always had a fear of being
alone, and so I started to movewith haste.
And I remember this yearvividly because at the top of
the year I tried to talk tosomebody, and that lasted for
about two weeks, and then thenext month, try to talk to
(14:10):
somebody else, and that lastsabout two weeks, and this person
showed up probably in thatthird month where repeat pattern
should have told me to stop,but stubbornness was like no,
this is what dating's supposedto feel like.
You're just going through themotions and just experimenting
and then frequency will tell youwhen it's the right one.
And while that might be a goodway to go, it wasn't a good way
(14:32):
to grow not for me.
So I met this person onFacebook and I do believe I was
drawn to their aesthetic andthis person really drew me in
with their conversation.
Now I don't wait.
I think post that breakup thatreally changed things for me.
I learned so much that therewere just certain shit I
(14:53):
wouldn't allow for myself andI'm not going to wait on nobody
to hit on me.
Reach out to me.
I want what I want and I likewhat I like, so I'm going to do
what I do.
So I slid into DMs, but I thinkI believe my message was very
harmless hey, like to get toknow you.
Yada, yada.
Very straightforward, and Ican't remember exactly what the
(15:14):
response was.
But within that response therewas a lot of fear and putting up
walls and immediately just ablock, and I sat with that for a
little bit and it stirred myspirit so much that I remember
making a video in response tothat very awkward interaction
(15:35):
and I also think I replied andsaid something like no, it's
good.
I can see that you answeredwith your fear.
You got that Like that's allyou.
That should have been it.
That should have been enoughfor me to say you know what this
person has shown you, who theyare, believed them the first
time.
Hardhead makes a soft ass andfor anybody who has known me for
(15:56):
any length of time, I am sogood, if nothing more, at being
stubborn.
I gotta learn it.
So I believe this person took afew days, reflected on what I
had to say, and they were likeyou know what?
You might have some truth tothat, and so they were intrigued
.
So, as one does, we exchangeinformation, we start to talk,
(16:19):
and talking led to FaceTime andwe felt at that moment a
connection.
So it's like okay, getting toknow somebody.
Now I do know that there was apattern in my life where I felt
mad, convicted, and I don't knowif anybody else felt this way.
Where you get into oneconnection doesn't work out.
So when you talk to the nextperson, it almost feels like
(16:39):
you're repeating some of thesame phrasings or the same
thoughts and ideas.
You know how many motherfuckersare you gonna sit with and say
God, I feel like you're the oneuntil they're not.
So then when you get with thenext one, you might say it again
.
But then on that third one,you're gonna maybe think it but
not say it, and then just kindof see where it goes.
Or then when you foolishly sayit, you're like, oh, I feel so
(17:02):
shitty, why I keep telling folksthis.
Let me just figure out whogonna act right before I start
sharing pet names andenticements and shit.
But no, I'm a lover of love andI know that.
We exchanged conversations.
We talked about potentiallybuilding, because they were an
artist and I was thinking aboutdoing this love frequency thing,
(17:23):
and so of course there was aconnection there.
But the behavior was stillstandoffish.
There was still like there wassomething I couldn't put my
finger on, and every encounterand every interaction just made
that more apparent.
Let's fast forward to the firsttime we met face to face Again.
This happened so long ago.
I'm speculating some of this,but I believe it was around my
(17:46):
birthday.
Something was happening.
This person comes to visit andit's not really a planned visit,
so it wasn't like we're gonnasee each other, we're gonna
spend from this day to this dayand do these things so I can
plan stuff.
But it was also implied.
So I'm thinking Friday,saturday, sunday maybe, and that
also gave me some concern, likethere's so much behavior that's
(18:08):
happening that is concerning.
But I'm also voicing thoseconcerns.
We'll get to the responses herein a minute, but I just wanna
paint the picture.
So rock with me.
So this person comes to visitvery loose schedule.
We hang out on Friday, we getready to plan for Saturday, and
then they start packing theirshit up.
I even made them a gift basketthat had like travel goodies and
(18:32):
stuff like that to make surethey were good on the road.
And so they start packing up onSaturday and I'm perplexed.
We didn't really talk aboutwhat you were doing.
But now that you're here,you're just gonna bounce and
you're gonna abruptly leave andnot take the gift bag.
You said to me oh no, no, I'lljust leave it here and I'll pick
it up on my way back.
(18:53):
You're way back from where myninja.
You live all the way in theSouthern States, I believe
Georgia.
I'm at this time living inIndiana.
Where are you going?
Oh, to see a family member, thesame family member.
You told me that y'all arestrange, y'all don't talk.
Oh yeah, I just thought, sinceI was out here, it'd be a good
(19:13):
time to try to rekindle.
Now let's pause here for amoment.
Assuming good intent, thisabsolutely could be true.
But the one thing that I thinkis very apparent is that in
these situations, in thesereason season lifetime
connections, people don't lookat the fact that there are two
sides to every story.
(19:35):
So your reason season lifetimemay not be my reason season
lifetime.
We may have been brought intoeach other's lives for a
specific intention, and it's upto us to define what that is.
So this could have been yourseason to go see your family
(19:57):
rekindle that connection.
But you have no idea what I wasgoing through, nor did you give
a fuck.
So when this happened, my spideysenses started to tingle.
I did not feel comfortableabout it.
I called it out and when thisindividual gave me what I felt
was a half-assed answer, Iremember them leaving my back
door.
I closed the door and lockedthe door, and I stopped
(20:19):
responding to calls, textmessages.
At that point I was doneD-O-N-E.
But no love lost.
I set a boundary for myself.
It wasn't putting up a wall.
It was, over time, having thisfeeling that I didn't trust that
I should have trusted from thefirst interaction.
I didn't listen.
(20:40):
I decided to trust somebodyelse other than myself.
Another thing that was verytelling and I think, was leading
up to this inevitable end, andlet's add to this, this is also
a person that I was connected towho told me that they are
(21:00):
dualed energy, which absolutelyI receive, that I receive people
where they are.
If there's one thing that yougotta know about me, I'm not in
the business of trying to judgefolks.
I have spent my whole lifefeeling like I've been judged
and dismissed and discardedbecause people couldn't receive
the human in me.
And really the truth was Icouldn't receive the human in me
.
But sitting in this space ofloving myself so deeply, I love
(21:24):
my idiosyncrasies.
I love the things about me thatpeople think are flaws.
I love the things that peopledefine as failures.
I love me, but in that, I alsorespect the space that people
move in.
If you think you ain't shitbaby, i'ma love you and receive
you and your ain't shit energy,I am just gonna put boundaries
around myself for me.
(21:46):
So there was a conversationwhere a dualed energy person
says you know, my masculineenergy is still very in love
with my ex.
My feminine energy is reallydrawn to you and I need you to
know that I have enough for bothand I want you to be a part of
that.
Much respect for presentingthat, for being authentically
(22:07):
who you are and for offering methe opportunity to make a choice
, and in that conversation Ishared that.
Nothing about that makes mefeel comfortable and I will
never be second to anybody, ever.
I don't care how you explain it, that is not for me for several
different reasons.
So when that person walked outof that door and I closed that
(22:29):
door and locked it, that was itfor me.
And then, after their weekendwas done and they went back down
to where they were residing,which I again, I believe is
Georgia.
So you took what a seven hourtrip.
You made two stops, game,recognized, game, much respect.
I received several text messagesback to back and they started
(22:53):
out very kind and understandingand they eventually evolved into
be very disrespectful, verymean hearted, so I blocked you.
Then the messages move over toFacebook, lots of inbox messages
, and this is where things gotinteresting, because threats
started to come, so I blockedthem on social media and then I
continued on about my merry way.
(23:14):
Now I realize what do they say?
There's three parts to everystory your side, my side, and
the truth.
What I can say is I have noissue with being 1,000.
And what I was going through?
Number one and we talked aboutit I needed to learn how to
trust my instincts.
I should have walked away inthe beginning, but I did not.
(23:37):
Two for some of us, it is sohard to remove yourself from
situations that make youuncomfortable, but we're
suffering in silence by goingthrough this discomfort.
If I would implore you toexplore that.
And then three I needed tolearn how to establish and
maintain firm boundaries.
That was the lesson.
(23:58):
Being in love with someone,liking somebody, getting to know
somebody that doesn't mean thatyou need to turn into a yes
person.
That doesn't mean that you needto be agreeable all the damn
time.
You need to have a backbone,baby, and learn how to stand up
for your fucking self, or you'regonna continue to allow people
to tell you whatever they wantto tell you.
So the question that I shouldhave been asking myself back
(24:20):
then was why do you feel likeyou have to prove to people why
they should love you correctly.
Stop explaining that shit.
My reflections on why thisperson reached out, which they
did.
They sent an email to my newemail address, which lets me
know that they're listening tothe show, and I truly appreciate
(24:41):
that.
It was very important for me toshare this message in this way,
because my boundary is stillvery firm and it hasn't wavered,
but I do think it's veryimportant If you find yourself
in a situation like this.
Lack of accountability toothers' feelings is something
that maybe you might wanna takea look at Now.
(25:01):
This person was going throughtheir own shit.
They had some stuff that washappening at that time but that
had nothing to do with me.
So, too, there's also lack ofaccountability to their personal
actions, and probably becausethey were going through their
own shit, but it's kinda selfish, right.
So my question for you would bewhat did you learn about
yourself from this interaction?
(25:22):
The apologies and therevelations should really teach
you more about yourself thantrying to extend a presumptive
apology to somebody else.
What you're feeling, whatyou've been ruminating over,
what you've been thinking about,that has nothing to do with me
and everything to do with you.
(25:43):
Reason-based connections.
In summary, I believe there arefour ways to identify if you've
been in a reason-basedconnection or if you are in a
reason-based connection.
One they're short-lived, withearly signs of concern.
Trust your instincts.
Two, there is a deep connectionto these relationships to
(26:04):
pending shadow work.
Go back to the poem you allhave presented to each other as
a means for you to see somethingdeeper within yourself.
This was never about therelationship, it was about
personal growth.
Three, these connections rarelyend ambitably.
And four, this is often whererepeat patterns resurface.
(26:27):
If you feel like you've been inthese types of connections
before, what did Jamie Foxx say?
I always fall for your type.
Yes, baby, that's areason-based connection.
So now that we've talked aboutreason-based connections, let's
get into these seasonalconnections.
Now.
(26:47):
These connections appear whenwe reach a pivotal moment in our
personal journey and they'rethere to help propel us forward.
I call it leveling up, and youknow I have another example for
y'all.
So you think I would havelearned from that previous
example.
But let's fast forward.
Maybe a year and a half afterthat, I get on TikTok.
(27:11):
And it was truly a blessing indisguise, because I got on
TikTok at a time when everybodywas forced to have to sit with
themselves, my presence on thatplatform blew up.
I was almost at 100K followersand I had one shorty who reached
out, gave me a little bit ofenergy.
I wasn't used to that in thatformat.
(27:33):
So I bit the bait and got bitback and right after that,
embarrassment happened.
It wasn't embarrassing, itreally did.
Again, another lesson that Idon't wanna talk about.
That one was an experiment, butright after that ended, this
motherfucker shows up.
Now, if you have followed me onmy old page or are following me
on my new TikTok account, I havehad this theme of being a lady
(27:57):
and waiting, and what that meansis, as I explained it in one of
my videos I'm waiting forsomebody to inhale my exhales
because I'm tired of holding mybreath and really, more
definitively, what thatrepresented for me is God damn.
I have been through so manyrelationship ups and downs.
I feel like I am the posterchild for what the fuck not to
(28:21):
do when it comes to beingsomeone who identifies as I love
harder.
I'm a lover of lover.
I love so big.
No, baby, we love stupid.
Let's just be honest.
I had gotten to this space of adeep level of understanding
without practical application.
I've said it before, the shit Isay sometimes sound real good,
(28:45):
but when you actually have toapply it, that's when the
struggle happens.
So I'm expecting and it hasalways been this vision of mine
that being a lady and waitingmeant that when the right
frequency connected with mine,there wasn't gonna be a lot of
trepidation and maybe we gottasee and let's move slow.
And my masculine energy, likesomeone else, my feminine energy
(29:07):
, likes you A motherfucker, wasjust gonna see me and go you.
I know it's you.
That was very presumptive on mypart, but I will admit that
this person showed up in thatenergy and they started out just
sending me a message on TikTokand thanking me that my videos
have really helped them whenthey were going through a very
pivotal moment in their life andit was transformative for them.
(29:30):
This person also, mind you, isvery poetic in their dialogue
and how they move, and y'allknow me, my former poetry name
was I see in poetry, becausethat was a truth, that was an
affirmation.
I moved life like this.
We're friends outside of thishere podcast.
Y'all know this isn't just theact I put on, this is me and all
(29:52):
of my learning experiences, ohgosh.
So this person reached out andfrom that one conversation it
kind of catapulted into a lot ofbeautiful interactions, but
nothing that indicated they weretrying to hit on me directly
but overtly.
So I started becoming smitten alittle bit and reaching out a
(30:14):
little bit more and showingshared interest.
Now, mind you, this was on thebacks of.
For some reason, this personshows up always the day after I
end something with someone.
So the first time, um, Ithought and I was gonna engage.
And then I decided to do someresearch, as one does on social
(30:36):
media, and I go to their profileand I see a recent post that
they shared of them and theirgirlfriend Not just girlfriend,
but they have children together.
They have family Christmaspictures and this is a home a
home.
I'm not the one.
Matter of fact, what makes someof y'all motherfuckers think
(30:58):
that love frequency is a joke,like the fact that I come on
this platform to talk about love?
Did y'all think that y'all willexempt from this conversation?
I hope not.
I really hope not, because someof y'all don't move with the
sense that God gave you.
You knew I was gonna talk aboutit.
You show your ass, you come totry to hit on me and now I'm
furious how it's ego talking.
(31:20):
How dare you come and talk tome?
You know what I'm about.
You know how I'm trying to moveand I thought out of anybody
you would understand me becauseyou speak in poetry like I do.
We're of a different, creativemindset.
No, girl, that was theignorance talking.
That was that I'm a lover oflove talking.
This is those hard lessons foryour ass.
(31:41):
So I politely reached back outand told her to respectfully
stop fucking contacting me.
How dare you you have an entirefamily and I have been the
woman who has been on the otherside of thinking that they're in
some connection.
That's not real, cause you'reout here entertaining shit,
cause you don't feel full, soyou need other motherfuckers to
give you that.
No, no, ma'am, wrong one.
(32:02):
I did it that as soon as Ifound out.
So I would say our firstconnection maybe lasted five
days, because, no, I just wentthrough a interesting experience
with another person and now youmiss me.
Then I started talking tosomeone else and me and this
person talked for about eight ornine months and I have nothing
(32:25):
bad to say about this human.
It was two great people whoconnected, but possibly at the
wrong time, or two people whowere looking for two different
things, but I don't feel therewas love lost in that connection
, but it just didn't grow.
As soon as that connectionended, y'all, the very next day,
this motherfucker show back upagain.
But when they showed up thistime I felt like something was
(32:48):
different, or maybe it's becauseI saw what I wanted to see.
That's hindsight bias.
It's unfair of me to say that Ireally did believe that this
person has showed up twice in mylife, and both at times when my
frequency is open Cause, asy'all remember, if we're gonna
go back to the relaunch episode,only broken people go through
(33:09):
breakups.
Really, that loss that Iexperienced, that really created
love frequency, was a huge gainbecause this has been one of
the most transformative thingsI've ever done for myself in my
life, and so many of you all wholisten share with me how
transformative theseconversations are for you.
I've had and have met somegreat people through this.
(33:31):
So I really thought, wow, thisis also a pattern.
You've come back twice.
Now we're talking on the phone,we have more conversations.
Our conversations are fruitfuland really excited and ignorant
y'all.
I went to work one day and saidy'all, I'm going on my first
last date.
I uttered those damn words Witha person who I had one rocky
(33:55):
encounter with and I was only onprobably week two or three of
this new reconnection.
So I planned a glamping trip.
I found a beautiful outdoortent that had all the setup.
I made a Shakuturi board.
I knew their favorite candy andthey travel a lot for their
work, or they used to.
(34:15):
So I mean I went all out.
Because, again, lady in waitingdoesn't mean once you meet them
you move with hesitation.
It means I am a person who isopen.
My personal goal is to be myhighest, most free, unedited
fucking self, and that alsomeans with love.
I'm not moving with caution,I'm moving with awareness but
(34:35):
openness.
So I did the thing set the tentup, got there early, decorated.
She showed up and we had areally good time.
The frequency was magnetic, ifI'm being honest.
But things that I noticed whileI was there.
Now, I made the Shakuturi boardin front of this person so we
could do it together.
They didn't need anything.
(34:56):
They were constantly on theirphone and it almost felt like
they wanted to be out of dodge,out of the way they didn't wanna
be in any place where theycould be identified.
So again, my fucking Spideysense is start to tingle and
something's not right.
We were supposed to glamp,which is sleep overnight.
(35:17):
No, this motherfucker, in myopinion, made an excuse to leave
and left.
What they told me was oh mykids keep calling.
Oh it's the kids again.
Oh it's family.
Oh it's my kids Bullshit Againy'all.
I've been through this before.
I have been played by some ofthe world's greatest champions.
(35:37):
Even We'll get to those storiesone day.
But, mm and let's assumepositive intent, let's assume
that that's absolutely what wastaking place.
If that was the case, then weplan things differently.
You communicate differently,but you're sneak looking at
these messages and then when younotice that I'm noticing,
that's when you're speaking up.
It just ain't that nut partner.
(35:58):
So you leave.
You leave me in that fuckingtent and I'm too tired to drive
back home.
So I stay overnight and I thinkto myself girl, you're so
stupid Again, why do you keepgetting played by frauds?
What is it about me that keepsattracting this Breathe?
(36:19):
The other thing, just ifanybody's thinking about
glamping and I'll see if theystill have that Airbnb posted,
if you're in the Georgia area.
I would recommend this place.
I think they were veryaccommodating and, as awkward as
it sounds, yo, it was insomebody's backyard but it was
so beautiful.
But when you're going to beoutside in Georgia in a tent all
day it's hot, bring water andknow that you're going to be
(36:41):
tired the next day, I didn'tknow.
But yeah, I slept there, Ienjoyed it, I made the most of
it, I meditated, I danced, I atemy Shakutiri.
I had a great time and I packedmy shit up and I left and I
told myself I'm fucking donewith this person.
What was far more interestingthan all of the weird things
(37:03):
that were happening while wewere there was she ghosted me
Right after that date, I think.
She went MIA for four, fivedays it could have even been two
weeks, as quiet as it's keptand as bold as it's told.
I did a whole TikTok about it.
Hell yeah, two truths, one lie.
And we went live and duringthat live, she popped up and
(37:25):
wanted to explain it.
And again, as I said, it alwaysseems to be the case that when
something like this happens,there's always some story or
tragedy followed by explainingit away, but no concern or
consideration for the otherperson's feelings.
See, there's two sides to everysituation.
After that interaction, I thinkit was clear to me that, even
(37:49):
though this person, I believe,may have great energy, they may
be a wonderful person, I canconfidently say that I have no
idea who this human is.
I think they presented aversion of themselves.
You know, I believe we're allRubik's cubes and I got to see
one side of that cube andunfortunately it was a side that
just didn't marry or gel orvibe.
(38:11):
With what reason?
Season or lifetime?
I was in Selfishly, this personwas only thinking about
themselves, and that themedidn't change when they decided
to send me an inbox message acouple of weeks ago.
It was still very self-absorbedand there wasn't apology, but
the apology lackedaccountability and true, genuine
(38:32):
self-reflection.
It just sounded like somebodytrying to explain something away
.
So, as I sit in reflection ofseasonal connections, what was I
growing through?
Everything that feels goodain't good for you.
That was my repeat pattern andfor some reason I was just so
ignorant to the truth that wasright in front of my face.
(38:52):
So again, here's another lessonfor Naya in setting boundaries.
But not just setting boundaries, but setting boundaries and not
wavering.
This was the same advice I gaveto my friend last week, and you
wonder why.
And then three.
I really gotta learn to trustmyself again.
I really did think that thiswas gonna be my first, last date
(39:14):
, but why would I think that?
Fool me once.
Shame on you.
Fool me twice.
Shame on me.
Fold me three times.
Get the fuck out of here.
Now my reflections on Possiblywhat she could be going through.
The situations change, but thestory is really largely the same
lack of accountability to otherpeople's feelings, lack of
(39:37):
accountability to their personalactions.
Losing access to me was thelesson.
You finding my videos, whatevervideo that you received, that
helped you get through what youwere growing through.
That was it.
What is most reflective, thoughthis should have been a seasonal
connection, and it ended upbeing a reason-based connection,
(40:00):
all because when my spirit toldme what it was, I didn't listen
, poof.
So you got to learn it the hardway.
So it won't be a third time,but I do find it so interesting
having these folks resurface andNot once them thinking.
I wonder how this has impactedher, if it impacted her, because
(40:23):
let me tell you this too bothof those messages implied that
Whatever they did hurt me orcause me to be withdrawn or
pulled back.
That can't be furthest from thetruth.
So let's recap seasonalconnections Now.
These connections often feelfamiliar and are deeply rooted
(40:44):
in just a short amount of time.
Because of this, they seem toorganically flow and evolve
naturally, but with resistance.
Three, there are roadblocks andfears that begin to surface,
that cause this friction andeventually distance and for
separation is inevitable.
(41:10):
Now let's talk about Lifetimeconnections.
I feel like these are thoseconnections that, no matter how
long they last, they will alwayshave a lasting impact on your
life.
And this is where I feel likemy view differs the most from
the poem.
I think the poem talked aboutan individual Assessing
(41:31):
relationships from theirperspective.
I think that that misses agreat opportunity, because it
takes two people to be in aconnection, whether that's
friendship, relationship, family, colleagues at work, any
scenario you can think of, it'syou and someone else or a group
of someone else's.
So I will say, when it comes tolifetime connections, sometimes
(41:53):
they could last a few days andsometimes they can last a few
weeks, but they change how wefeel about ourselves and
Ultimately can be a greatcatalyst for shifts that we need
to take now.
I'm not saying that lifetimeconnections change you, because
you still have a choice to bethe same.
Something that should have beena potential lifetime connection
(42:15):
can end up being seasonal orreason-based, based on the
decisions we make.
But a few things I know about me.
I know that when people connectwith me, especially if we've
connected in a Intimate setting,in a more relationship based
connection, you will never bethe same.
And I'm not saying this becauseI think I'm prettier than
(42:36):
others, or I think my love isbetter than anybody, or I'm
trying to compare myself tofolks.
I am not the prettiest, I amnot perfect.
I got shit all of us do but Iknow my love is Elevating.
I know that I house thefrequency to create safe spaces
that make you first feeluncomfortable and then feel
safest fuck.
I know that it is difficult toengage in a connection with
(43:00):
somebody who moves like that andnot believe that it wasn't
meant to be.
How many people do you knowthat you rock with, who believe
in you, believe in love, pushyou to be your best, accept and
receive you where the fuck youare, without judgment, open
themselves up vulnerably?
Each situation I've been through, these two and others they
(43:22):
Consistently show me a littlebit more about myself and help
me gain a deeper level ofawareness.
That was the gift.
It was never about them.
So from this, although Ibelieve that the first
connection was reason-based andthe second connection Should
have been a seasonal connection,that ended up being
(43:44):
reason-based For me.
In both of these connections Ileveled up.
I love myself, and noself-respecting person
volunteers for bullshit.
So know the frequency you bringto connections.
If you got a whole bunch ofbaggage, why would you want
somebody to carry that?
That's for you to deal with.
(44:05):
Learn to ask the right questionsto before presupposing what
you're feeling might be what youaren't facing, it may have
nothing to do with the otherperson.
It's time to level up.
Y'all know that loss andknowing when to let go.
That is the lesson.
Sometimes people leave yourlife for various reasons and
while some people may use thisas an excuse to explain away in
(44:29):
action, I think it's the perfectopportunity to be reflective.
Ask the right questions first.
Introspectively, this Apologyhas nothing to do with me and
it's everything to do with you.
You still ain't sitting withyourself, but for me, this is
where the pattern stops.
In thinking about what lifetimelesson could both of these
(44:53):
people, these humans, thesebeautiful energies learned from
Our time connecting.
I don't care, and I don't saythat heartlessly.
I say that with all the love inmy soul.
We want so badly to directblame instead of seeing the
value in the interaction.
Nothing more, nothing less.
If it would not for the time Itook to pause and reflect about
(45:15):
these connections, lovefrequency would have never been
conceptualized and I wouldn'thave the opportunity to connect
with you all.
If it were not for theseinteractions, I wouldn't have
learned the value of Gettingwhat I give and accepting
nothing less.
And if it were not for myselfMaking time to understand the
(45:35):
value of loss, then I might besitting around believing that
something was wrong with me,that I was unlovable.
My lifetime connections haveshown me who I am and in each
phase, every time this happensto you too because I know I
ain't the only one you are beingpresented with a reflection of
yourself what you gonna do withthat information.
(45:58):
So when we think about lifetimeconnections, the impact is more
important than the length oftime.
Those connections are acatalyst for the changes that
you need to be making in yourlife.
It's also important, withlifetime connections, to
understand the importance ofletting go let go of trying to
(46:18):
control the outcomes.
In reflection, I do think thatthere is some significance to
reason, season lifetime, knowingthat this theory came from a
(46:42):
poem, but a poem that reallytruly breaks down how to look at
friendships or relationshipsfrom an individualistic
perspective.
Reason are those connectionsthat are meant to help us face
shadows I believe that we'reavoiding.
Seasonal connections are thosepivotal moments where we're
(47:06):
about to level up, and Lifetimeconnections are those that, no
matter the length, it's thelesson that is the most relevant
and the most important In thetwo examples that I provided,
although they both ended upbeing reason-based connections,
I do hope that they arelistening.
I do hope that they know, withall the love in my heart, this
(47:30):
wasn't intended to burn, but togrow.
I believe when you know, yougrow, and the one Disadvantage
that both of these parties havehad is, since they weren't
asking the right questions,they're coming into this
conversation only seeing thingsfrom one side.
So, with that, the lifetimelessons that I have learned from
(47:50):
every connection I have everbeen in has only served to help
me learn myself a little bitbetter, be reflective, realize
that in every loss there is alesson, and sometimes the lesson
is one of accountability.
So know the energy you bringinto the connections that you're
in.
What is your ROI?
(48:12):
What is the other personreceiving by investing in
connecting with you?
Or are you somebody who justtends to leave people bankrupt
the next steps?
Well, what would you do withthis information?
Will you use it to make somenecessary changes, to turn
reasons and seasons intolifetime lessons, or will you
(48:32):
ignore this message and themessage is the universe is
sending you and continue torepeat the same patterns?
I Don't think reaching out toyour past is always a solution.
Sometimes you got to start withright now.
(49:02):
Hey, love, I want to thank youso much for hanging out with me
today.
I love our talks.
I do.
We should do this more often,you know.
Hang out and talk about thingswe've been feeling.
If you like it, let's meet hereagain next Sunday and do this
damn thing.
Don't forget, give us fivestars.
If you like what you heard onany podcast platform that you
(49:23):
may be listening to, go aheadand rank us.
Listen, send your questions in,send your stories in.
If you have a response to thisepisode, I'd love to hear it.
You can email me or send me amessage on social media and I'll
leave the instructions in theshow notes.
I'm also excited tune in nextweek cuz we're gonna finish up.
I do have to give y'all thatupdate on my friend.
Y'all I we thought it was onequestion and and this it's not
(49:47):
she got that juice, I guess.
Listen, honey, but also sharethis with one person who you
know, who needs to beaccountable To the shit that
they bring into connection sothat they can be better for
themselves.
Because here, on the frequencywhen you know you grow Until
next time, I love you, but youreally got to start sitting with
(50:10):
you.
Hey, love, how have you been?
I know you're waiting on anupdate from my friend and let me
tell you I've talked to her.
She's doing wonderful, buty'all will never believe where
this story is gonna take us.
But before we get into that, Iwanna talk about reason.
Season lifetime.
The first of fall is September23rd, and making time to be
(00:27):
reflective at the end of eachseason can be so important to
your personal journey.
It can show you where you'vebeen and help you determine
where you're growing or not, solet's talk about it.
Are now tuning into lovefrequency, where love grows, so
(00:50):
let's go.
Welcome, welcome, welcome tolove frequency, the podcast that
helps you transform your paininto power, and we do that
through conversations thatinspire an increased level of
self-awareness.
I'm your host, nia, and I'vebeen told that I'm that friend
(01:14):
that you need to talk to, butyou don't wanna talk to often
because it's a conversationyou've been avoiding.
So welcome, honey, andcongratulations on finally
choosing you.
And thank you for choosing lovefrequency on whatever podcast
platform you might be listeningto me on.
(01:35):
If you can go ahead and give usfive stars, I appreciate it.
It's free, takes a coupleseconds, but what it does for
others.
It allows other people to seethe show, it moves us up in
ranking.
We are here to do the work thatwe also desperately need, so go
ahead.
We are on Spotify, apple Music,deezer, Audible everywhere,
(02:00):
pandora, ihr Radio, y'all.
I could keep going.
But wherever you might belistening, please make the time
to give back, because when youknow, you grow, and that's all
we're trying to do here is helppeople grow.
Get into the story of the weekNow.
(02:22):
These stories are conversationsthat have inspired this week's
episode, and I don't know ifyou're like me, but when
patterns start to resurface, Istart to pay attention.
I am far less hard headed thanI used to be, and now I'm very
aware that when things show upin repeat form, I need to start
(02:43):
paying attention, baby, becauseI'm on to my next level, my next
phase of learning myself alittle bit better.
Recently, a few people from mypast have resurfaced, and I
don't know about you or if thishas happened to you, but every
time that happens, I'm far moreintrigued by the way they
(03:05):
resurface.
It always seems to start withsome sort of apology, followed
by an explanation, but with noindication of personal
self-reflection, just attemptsto explain.
It should've way.
What's even crazier is that inboth of these scenarios I'm
about to run down for you theexplanation they provided is one
(03:26):
that they had already triedback then, and I'm wondering why
they think that a year or morehas passed, and I'll just forget
the specifics.
Baby, you know what?
Love frequency absolutely wasborn out of a breakup, but I
have been collecting experiencesleading up to this point.
(03:48):
I was born to do this.
I have experienced some veryinteresting encounters with
people that have allowed me togrow and to be more reflective
in a way that I never knewpossible.
But miss me with the bullshit.
I've seen it and you've alreadytried it.
So what makes you think tryingit again is gonna change the
(04:10):
outcome?
Moreover, what's the outcome?
What are you hoping to gainfrom popping back up?
What was your hope?
My dear, if you've ever been ina connection with somebody
where you fucked up and you hadtime to reflect, and then you
come back and you wanna tellthat person hey, man, listen,
shit happened, my bad, I justwanted you to know that that's
(04:32):
it.
My question for you,respectfully, is how do you hold
yourself accountable to thefrequency that you bring into
your connections, or do youalways look for an excuse to
explain away your bullshit.
Oh yeah, we gonna talk about ittoday.
Sit down, get comfortable,cause this thought water about
(04:53):
to be real good ["Sweet Love"].
If you have a question for theLove Frequency podcast or a
story you'd like to share, or ifyou wanna respond to some of
the things that we're talkingabout here, come on, baby.
I love to have openconversation and dialogue.
Just know that that goes twoways.
(05:14):
So if you getting ready to give, be ready to receive.
In love.
Of course, you can go ahead andemail those to lovefreak at
gmailcom that's L-V-E-F-R-E-Q atgmailcom.
Or go ahead and inbox me onsocial media.
I am on TikTok, instagram andFacebook at L-V-E-Frequency
(05:42):
that's L-Frequency.
But as always, I'll leave thisinformation in the show notes.
And for those of you who justlive in your left mind cause you
can't get right, I'm not askingyou to slide into my DMs, okay.
I'm asking you to send me aninbox.
It's like an email, right?
Okay?
So let's get into this thoughtwater For this episode.
(06:04):
It's gonna be real good.
I also believe we're probablygonna go beyond the 15, 20
minutes.
I try to wrap each episode.
I do it for me.
I'm not gonna lie.
Trying to manage a podcast byyourself can be a very big task
if you're not set up properlywith the right systems.
So I kept mine at a certaintime because editing is a bitch.
(06:29):
I've been getting feedback fromfolks saying they wish that I
would give a little bit more.
You might be right.
So if you don't have a story toshare or a question, go ahead
and email the show or inbox meif you are also someone who
wouldn't mind longer episodesCause I'mma be honest, man, 30
(06:50):
minutes just me, but thisepisode might get there, cause I
got a lot of shit on my mind.
If you are new here, baby,thought water is the part of the
episode where I share mythoughts on what I've been
thinking.
And here is that verbal asswhooping that you've been
needing but avoiding but don't.
Would love Know that myintention here is to see you be
(07:13):
your highest, most free,unedited self and nothing more.
So let's get into it.
Talking about reason season,lifetime and you know how we use
that before Somebody comes intoyour life, don't work out the
way it should, or somethinghappens unexpectedly, and I
think many of us have used thisphrase to explain away shit.
(07:37):
Let's take a different look atit.
While some people come and goquickly from your life, others
seem to stick around.
The main idea behind thisconcept of reason season,
lifetime is all aboutrelationships, regardless of
their length, having some sortof purpose.
So let's break down thisthree-part theory.
(07:59):
Reason is when a short-livedrelationship brings you a
benefit or helps you with arealization.
It helps you with a specificdifficulty you're facing, either
intentionally orunintentionally.
That's reason season.
Now, this is when arelationship accompanies you
(08:20):
through a certain period of yourlife.
It lasts for some time andbrings you joy and growth.
You might learn a lot from thisrelationship, but it eventually
ends.
So that's season and lifetime.
Well, this is a relationshipthat lasts a lifetime.
Where did this idea come from?
(08:43):
I'm not sure if a lot of youknow but the origin of this
phrase.
This isn't a scientific study.
This isn't a philosophicalquandary.
It was a poem.
It was the line to a poem.
Now the author of this poem hasbeen debated, but I'm gonna
read to you all this poem so itcan give you kind of further
(09:05):
history into where reason,season, lifetime, originated,
and I want you to tell me how itmakes you feel.
People always come into yourlife for a reason, a season and
a lifetime when you figure outwhich you know exactly what to
do.
When someone is in your lifefor a reason, it's usually to
(09:26):
meet a need you have expressedoutwardly or inwardly.
They've come to assist youthrough a difficulty or to
provide you with guidance andsupport, to aid you physically,
emotionally and even spiritually.
They may even seem like agodsend to you, and they are.
They are there for a reason.
(09:48):
You need them to be Then,without any wrongdoing on your
part or any inconvenient time,this person will say or do
something to bring therelationship to an end.
Sometimes they die, sometimesthey just walk away, sometimes
they act up or out and force youto take a stand.
(10:09):
What we must realize is thatour need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, the work isdone, the prayer you sent up has
been answered and now it's timeto move on.
When people come into your lifefor a season, it's because your
turn has come to share, grow orlearn.
(10:32):
They may bring you anexperience of peace or make you
laugh.
They may teach you somethingyou have never done.
They usually give you anunbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it's real, but onlyfor a season.
And, like spring turns tosummer and summer to fall, the
(10:54):
season eventually ends.
Lifetime relationships teachyou a lifetime of lessons, those
things you must build upon inorder to have a solid emotional
foundation.
Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person or
people and put what you havelearned to use in all other
(11:15):
relationships and areas of yourlife.
It is said that love is blind,but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part ofmy life.
Let us sit with that, becausenumber one, I do believe if most
(11:36):
of us knew the origins of wherethis phrase came from, we would
stop applying our owndefinitions and really pay
attention to the rationale andthe logic in this poem.
I'm even gonna go on to sayI've read and researched a lot
of articles on this topic andmost of them, if not all,
approached this conversationfrom a one-sided perspective.
(11:58):
And I really think if you readthis poem, you could see that
there are two sides happening atthe same time.
Two things can be true at thesame time.
Now, there is a strong linkagebetween connections and their
importance on our mental andphysical health, but many have
used reason season, lifetime toexplain a way loss.
(12:20):
I believe this phrase can alsobe used to explain the cause and
effect of the energy we bringinto relationships.
Now I'm gonna explain this bylooking at three concepts from
this poem through my own livedexperience.
So, baby, let's jump in.
And so, reason-basedconnections.
(12:45):
These are connections thatpresent themselves to show us
something within us that we needto take heed to.
The poem essentially mentionedthere is something that you have
called out to the universe, tothe higher power that you
believe in, and then the answerarrives, but it's not gonna
arrive in the way that we thinkit will.
(13:05):
Right, let me explain to youwhat I mean.
I met this individual rightaround the time I was
conceptualizing love frequency Idon't believe I have started
recording, and again, this ishow long this was so I had been
out of that very transformativebreakup and knew that love
frequency was the thing that wasgonna come from that.
(13:27):
That was the greatest lessonthat I walked away with was
understanding my frequency andconnections.
So I took the time that Ithought I needed to be alone.
And then what happens?
You get tired of being alone,but not because you've actually
healed or because you're doingbetter, you're just bored.
Let's be real.
You just want somebody to fillthe void.
(13:49):
Your nights are lonely, and forme, I'm not sure where the fear
came from, but I think I guessI've always had a fear of being
alone, and so I started to movewith haste.
And I remember this yearvividly because at the top of
the year I tried to talk tosomebody, and that lasted for
about two weeks, and then thenext month, try to talk to
(14:10):
somebody else, and that lastsabout two weeks, and this person
showed up probably in thatthird month where repeat pattern
should have told me to stop,but stubbornness was like no,
this is what dating's supposedto feel like.
You're just going through themotions and just experimenting
and then frequency will tell youwhen it's the right one.
And while that might be a goodway to go, it wasn't a good way
(14:32):
to grow not for me.
So I met this person onFacebook and I do believe I was
drawn to their aesthetic andthis person really drew me in
with their conversation.
Now I don't wait.
I think post that breakup thatreally changed things for me.
I learned so much that therewere just certain shit I
(14:53):
wouldn't allow for myself andI'm not going to wait on nobody
to hit on me.
Reach out to me.
I want what I want and I likewhat I like, so I'm going to do
what I do.
So I slid into DMs, but I thinkI believe my message was very
harmless hey, like to get toknow you.
Yada, yada.
Very straightforward, and Ican't remember exactly what the
(15:14):
response was.
But within that response therewas a lot of fear and putting up
walls and immediately just ablock, and I sat with that for a
little bit and it stirred myspirit so much that I remember
making a video in response tothat very awkward interaction
(15:35):
and I also think I replied andsaid something like no, it's
good.
I can see that you answeredwith your fear.
You got that Like that's allyou.
That should have been it.
That should have been enoughfor me to say you know what this
person has shown you, who theyare, believed them the first
time.
Hardhead makes a soft ass andfor anybody who has known me for
(15:56):
any length of time, I am sogood, if nothing more, at being
stubborn.
I gotta learn it.
So I believe this person took afew days, reflected on what I
had to say, and they were likeyou know what?
You might have some truth tothat, and so they were intrigued
.
So, as one does, we exchangeinformation, we start to talk,
(16:19):
and talking led to FaceTime andwe felt at that moment a
connection.
So it's like okay, getting toknow somebody.
Now I do know that there was apattern in my life where I felt
mad, convicted, and I don't knowif anybody else felt this way.
Where you get into oneconnection doesn't work out.
So when you talk to the nextperson, it almost feels like
(16:39):
you're repeating some of thesame phrasings or the same
thoughts and ideas.
You know how many motherfuckersare you gonna sit with and say
God, I feel like you're the oneuntil they're not.
So then when you get with thenext one, you might say it again
.
But then on that third one,you're gonna maybe think it but
not say it, and then just kindof see where it goes.
Or then when you foolishly sayit, you're like, oh, I feel so
(17:02):
shitty, why I keep telling folksthis.
Let me just figure out whogonna act right before I start
sharing pet names andenticements and shit.
But no, I'm a lover of love andI know that.
We exchanged conversations.
We talked about potentiallybuilding, because they were an
artist and I was thinking aboutdoing this love frequency thing,
(17:23):
and so of course there was aconnection there.
But the behavior was stillstandoffish.
There was still like there wassomething I couldn't put my
finger on, and every encounterand every interaction just made
that more apparent.
Let's fast forward to the firsttime we met face to face Again.
This happened so long ago.
I'm speculating some of this,but I believe it was around my
(17:46):
birthday.
Something was happening.
This person comes to visit andit's not really a planned visit,
so it wasn't like we're gonnasee each other, we're gonna
spend from this day to this dayand do these things so I can
plan stuff.
But it was also implied.
So I'm thinking Friday,saturday, sunday maybe, and that
also gave me some concern, likethere's so much behavior that's
(18:08):
happening that is concerning.
But I'm also voicing thoseconcerns.
We'll get to the responses herein a minute, but I just wanna
paint the picture.
So rock with me.
So this person comes to visitvery loose schedule.
We hang out on Friday, we getready to plan for Saturday, and
then they start packing theirshit up.
I even made them a gift basketthat had like travel goodies and
(18:32):
stuff like that to make surethey were good on the road.
And so they start packing up onSaturday and I'm perplexed.
We didn't really talk aboutwhat you were doing.
But now that you're here,you're just gonna bounce and
you're gonna abruptly leave andnot take the gift bag.
You said to me oh no, no, I'lljust leave it here and I'll pick
it up on my way back.
(18:53):
You're way back from where myninja.
You live all the way in theSouthern States, I believe
Georgia.
I'm at this time living inIndiana.
Where are you going?
Oh, to see a family member, thesame family member.
You told me that y'all arestrange, y'all don't talk.
Oh yeah, I just thought, sinceI was out here, it'd be a good
(19:13):
time to try to rekindle.
Now let's pause here for amoment.
Assuming good intent, thisabsolutely could be true.
But the one thing that I thinkis very apparent is that in
these situations, in thesereason season lifetime
connections, people don't lookat the fact that there are two
sides to every story.
(19:35):
So your reason season lifetimemay not be my reason season
lifetime.
We may have been brought intoeach other's lives for a
specific intention, and it's upto us to define what that is.
So this could have been yourseason to go see your family
(19:57):
rekindle that connection.
But you have no idea what I wasgoing through, nor did you give
a fuck.
So when this happened, my spideysenses started to tingle.
I did not feel comfortableabout it.
I called it out and when thisindividual gave me what I felt
was a half-assed answer, Iremember them leaving my back
door.
I closed the door and lockedthe door, and I stopped
(20:19):
responding to calls, textmessages.
At that point I was doneD-O-N-E.
But no love lost.
I set a boundary for myself.
It wasn't putting up a wall.
It was, over time, having thisfeeling that I didn't trust that
I should have trusted from thefirst interaction.
I didn't listen.
(20:40):
I decided to trust somebodyelse other than myself.
Another thing that was verytelling and I think, was leading
up to this inevitable end, andlet's add to this, this is also
a person that I was connected towho told me that they are
(21:00):
dualed energy, which absolutelyI receive, that I receive people
where they are.
If there's one thing that yougotta know about me, I'm not in
the business of trying to judgefolks.
I have spent my whole lifefeeling like I've been judged
and dismissed and discardedbecause people couldn't receive
the human in me.
And really the truth was Icouldn't receive the human in me
.
But sitting in this space ofloving myself so deeply, I love
(21:24):
my idiosyncrasies.
I love the things about me thatpeople think are flaws.
I love the things that peopledefine as failures.
I love me, but in that, I alsorespect the space that people
move in.
If you think you ain't shitbaby, i'ma love you and receive
you and your ain't shit energy,I am just gonna put boundaries
around myself for me.
(21:46):
So there was a conversationwhere a dualed energy person
says you know, my masculineenergy is still very in love
with my ex.
My feminine energy is reallydrawn to you and I need you to
know that I have enough for bothand I want you to be a part of
that.
Much respect for presentingthat, for being authentically
(22:07):
who you are and for offering methe opportunity to make a choice
, and in that conversation Ishared that.
Nothing about that makes mefeel comfortable and I will
never be second to anybody, ever.
I don't care how you explain it, that is not for me for several
different reasons.
So when that person walked outof that door and I closed that
(22:29):
door and locked it, that was itfor me.
And then, after their weekendwas done and they went back down
to where they were residing,which I again, I believe is
Georgia.
So you took what a seven hourtrip.
You made two stops, game,recognized, game, much respect.
I received several text messagesback to back and they started
(22:53):
out very kind and understandingand they eventually evolved into
be very disrespectful, verymean hearted, so I blocked you.
Then the messages move over toFacebook, lots of inbox messages
, and this is where things gotinteresting, because threats
started to come, so I blockedthem on social media and then I
continued on about my merry way.
(23:14):
Now I realize what do they say?
There's three parts to everystory your side, my side, and
the truth.
What I can say is I have noissue with being 1,000.
And what I was going through?
Number one and we talked aboutit I needed to learn how to
trust my instincts.
I should have walked away inthe beginning, but I did not.
(23:37):
Two for some of us, it is sohard to remove yourself from
situations that make youuncomfortable, but we're
suffering in silence by goingthrough this discomfort.
If I would implore you toexplore that.
And then three I needed tolearn how to establish and
maintain firm boundaries.
That was the lesson.
(23:58):
Being in love with someone,liking somebody, getting to know
somebody that doesn't mean thatyou need to turn into a yes
person.
That doesn't mean that you needto be agreeable all the damn
time.
You need to have a backbone,baby, and learn how to stand up
for your fucking self, or you'regonna continue to allow people
to tell you whatever they wantto tell you.
So the question that I shouldhave been asking myself back
(24:20):
then was why do you feel likeyou have to prove to people why
they should love you correctly.
Stop explaining that shit.
My reflections on why thisperson reached out, which they
did.
They sent an email to my newemail address, which lets me
know that they're listening tothe show, and I truly appreciate
(24:41):
that.
It was very important for me toshare this message in this way,
because my boundary is stillvery firm and it hasn't wavered,
but I do think it's veryimportant If you find yourself
in a situation like this.
Lack of accountability toothers' feelings is something
that maybe you might wanna takea look at Now.
(25:01):
This person was going throughtheir own shit.
They had some stuff that washappening at that time but that
had nothing to do with me.
So, too, there's also lack ofaccountability to their personal
actions, and probably becausethey were going through their
own shit, but it's kinda selfish, right.
So my question for you would bewhat did you learn about
yourself from this interaction?
(25:22):
The apologies and therevelations should really teach
you more about yourself thantrying to extend a presumptive
apology to somebody else.
What you're feeling, whatyou've been ruminating over,
what you've been thinking about,that has nothing to do with me
and everything to do with you.
(25:43):
Reason-based connections.
In summary, I believe there arefour ways to identify if you've
been in a reason-basedconnection or if you are in a
reason-based connection.
One they're short-lived, withearly signs of concern.
Trust your instincts.
Two, there is a deep connectionto these relationships to
(26:04):
pending shadow work.
Go back to the poem you allhave presented to each other as
a means for you to see somethingdeeper within yourself.
This was never about therelationship, it was about
personal growth.
Three, these connections rarelyend ambitably.
And four, this is often whererepeat patterns resurface.
(26:27):
If you feel like you've been inthese types of connections
before, what did Jamie Foxx say?
I always fall for your type.
Yes, baby, that's areason-based connection.
So now that we've talked aboutreason-based connections, let's
get into these seasonalconnections.
Now.
(26:47):
These connections appear whenwe reach a pivotal moment in our
personal journey and they'rethere to help propel us forward.
I call it leveling up, and youknow I have another example for
y'all.
So you think I would havelearned from that previous
example.
But let's fast forward.
Maybe a year and a half afterthat, I get on TikTok.
(27:11):
And it was truly a blessing indisguise, because I got on
TikTok at a time when everybodywas forced to have to sit with
themselves, my presence on thatplatform blew up.
I was almost at 100K followersand I had one shorty who reached
out, gave me a little bit ofenergy.
I wasn't used to that in thatformat.
(27:33):
So I bit the bait and got bitback and right after that,
embarrassment happened.
It wasn't embarrassing, itreally did.
Again, another lesson that Idon't wanna talk about.
That one was an experiment, butright after that ended, this
motherfucker shows up.
Now, if you have followed me onmy old page or are following me
on my new TikTok account, I havehad this theme of being a lady
(27:57):
and waiting, and what that meansis, as I explained it in one of
my videos I'm waiting forsomebody to inhale my exhales
because I'm tired of holding mybreath and really, more
definitively, what thatrepresented for me is God damn.
I have been through so manyrelationship ups and downs.
I feel like I am the posterchild for what the fuck not to
(28:21):
do when it comes to beingsomeone who identifies as I love
harder.
I'm a lover of lover.
I love so big.
No, baby, we love stupid.
Let's just be honest.
I had gotten to this space of adeep level of understanding
without practical application.
I've said it before, the shit Isay sometimes sound real good,
(28:45):
but when you actually have toapply it, that's when the
struggle happens.
So I'm expecting and it hasalways been this vision of mine
that being a lady and waitingmeant that when the right
frequency connected with mine,there wasn't gonna be a lot of
trepidation and maybe we gottasee and let's move slow.
And my masculine energy, likesomeone else, my feminine energy
(29:07):
, likes you A motherfucker, wasjust gonna see me and go you.
I know it's you.
That was very presumptive on mypart, but I will admit that
this person showed up in thatenergy and they started out just
sending me a message on TikTokand thanking me that my videos
have really helped them whenthey were going through a very
pivotal moment in their life andit was transformative for them.
(29:30):
This person also, mind you, isvery poetic in their dialogue
and how they move, and y'allknow me, my former poetry name
was I see in poetry, becausethat was a truth, that was an
affirmation.
I moved life like this.
We're friends outside of thishere podcast.
Y'all know this isn't just theact I put on, this is me and all
(29:52):
of my learning experiences, ohgosh.
So this person reached out andfrom that one conversation it
kind of catapulted into a lot ofbeautiful interactions, but
nothing that indicated they weretrying to hit on me directly
but overtly.
So I started becoming smitten alittle bit and reaching out a
(30:14):
little bit more and showingshared interest.
Now, mind you, this was on thebacks of.
For some reason, this personshows up always the day after I
end something with someone.
So the first time, um, Ithought and I was gonna engage.
And then I decided to do someresearch, as one does on social
(30:36):
media, and I go to their profileand I see a recent post that
they shared of them and theirgirlfriend Not just girlfriend,
but they have children together.
They have family Christmaspictures and this is a home a
home.
I'm not the one.
Matter of fact, what makes someof y'all motherfuckers think
(30:58):
that love frequency is a joke,like the fact that I come on
this platform to talk about love?
Did y'all think that y'all willexempt from this conversation?
I hope not.
I really hope not, because someof y'all don't move with the
sense that God gave you.
You knew I was gonna talk aboutit.
You show your ass, you come totry to hit on me and now I'm
furious how it's ego talking.
(31:20):
How dare you come and talk tome?
You know what I'm about.
You know how I'm trying to moveand I thought out of anybody
you would understand me becauseyou speak in poetry like I do.
We're of a different, creativemindset.
No, girl, that was theignorance talking.
That was that I'm a lover oflove talking.
This is those hard lessons foryour ass.
(31:41):
So I politely reached back outand told her to respectfully
stop fucking contacting me.
How dare you you have an entirefamily and I have been the
woman who has been on the otherside of thinking that they're in
some connection.
That's not real, cause you'reout here entertaining shit,
cause you don't feel full, soyou need other motherfuckers to
give you that.
No, no, ma'am, wrong one.
(32:02):
I did it that as soon as Ifound out.
So I would say our firstconnection maybe lasted five
days, because, no, I just wentthrough a interesting experience
with another person and now youmiss me.
Then I started talking tosomeone else and me and this
person talked for about eight ornine months and I have nothing
(32:25):
bad to say about this human.
It was two great people whoconnected, but possibly at the
wrong time, or two people whowere looking for two different
things, but I don't feel therewas love lost in that connection
, but it just didn't grow.
As soon as that connectionended, y'all, the very next day,
this motherfucker show back upagain.
But when they showed up thistime I felt like something was
(32:48):
different, or maybe it's becauseI saw what I wanted to see.
That's hindsight bias.
It's unfair of me to say that Ireally did believe that this
person has showed up twice in mylife, and both at times when my
frequency is open Cause, asy'all remember, if we're gonna
go back to the relaunch episode,only broken people go through
(33:09):
breakups.
Really, that loss that Iexperienced, that really created
love frequency, was a huge gainbecause this has been one of
the most transformative thingsI've ever done for myself in my
life, and so many of you all wholisten share with me how
transformative theseconversations are for you.
I've had and have met somegreat people through this.
(33:31):
So I really thought, wow, thisis also a pattern.
You've come back twice.
Now we're talking on the phone,we have more conversations.
Our conversations are fruitfuland really excited and ignorant
y'all.
I went to work one day and saidy'all, I'm going on my first
last date.
I uttered those damn words Witha person who I had one rocky
(33:55):
encounter with and I was only onprobably week two or three of
this new reconnection.
So I planned a glamping trip.
I found a beautiful outdoortent that had all the setup.
I made a Shakuturi board.
I knew their favorite candy andthey travel a lot for their
work, or they used to.
(34:15):
So I mean I went all out.
Because, again, lady in waitingdoesn't mean once you meet them
you move with hesitation.
It means I am a person who isopen.
My personal goal is to be myhighest, most free, unedited
fucking self, and that alsomeans with love.
I'm not moving with caution,I'm moving with awareness but
(34:35):
openness.
So I did the thing set the tentup, got there early, decorated.
She showed up and we had areally good time.
The frequency was magnetic, ifI'm being honest.
But things that I noticed whileI was there.
Now, I made the Shakuturi boardin front of this person so we
could do it together.
They didn't need anything.
(34:56):
They were constantly on theirphone and it almost felt like
they wanted to be out of dodge,out of the way they didn't wanna
be in any place where theycould be identified.
So again, my fucking Spideysense is start to tingle and
something's not right.
We were supposed to glamp,which is sleep overnight.
(35:17):
No, this motherfucker, in myopinion, made an excuse to leave
and left.
What they told me was oh mykids keep calling.
Oh it's the kids again.
Oh it's family.
Oh it's my kids Bullshit Againy'all.
I've been through this before.
I have been played by some ofthe world's greatest champions.
(35:37):
Even We'll get to those storiesone day.
But, mm and let's assumepositive intent, let's assume
that that's absolutely what wastaking place.
If that was the case, then weplan things differently.
You communicate differently,but you're sneak looking at
these messages and then when younotice that I'm noticing,
that's when you're speaking up.
It just ain't that nut partner.
(35:58):
So you leave.
You leave me in that fuckingtent and I'm too tired to drive
back home.
So I stay overnight and I thinkto myself girl, you're so
stupid Again, why do you keepgetting played by frauds?
What is it about me that keepsattracting this Breathe?
(36:19):
The other thing, just ifanybody's thinking about
glamping and I'll see if theystill have that Airbnb posted,
if you're in the Georgia area.
I would recommend this place.
I think they were veryaccommodating and, as awkward as
it sounds, yo, it was insomebody's backyard but it was
so beautiful.
But when you're going to beoutside in Georgia in a tent all
day it's hot, bring water andknow that you're going to be
(36:41):
tired the next day, I didn'tknow.
But yeah, I slept there, Ienjoyed it, I made the most of
it, I meditated, I danced, I atemy Shakutiri.
I had a great time and I packedmy shit up and I left and I
told myself I'm fucking donewith this person.
What was far more interestingthan all of the weird things
(37:03):
that were happening while wewere there was she ghosted me
Right after that date, I think.
She went MIA for four, fivedays it could have even been two
weeks, as quiet as it's keptand as bold as it's told.
I did a whole TikTok about it.
Hell yeah, two truths, one lie.
And we went live and duringthat live, she popped up and
(37:25):
wanted to explain it.
And again, as I said, it alwaysseems to be the case that when
something like this happens,there's always some story or
tragedy followed by explainingit away, but no concern or
consideration for the otherperson's feelings.
See, there's two sides to everysituation.
After that interaction, I thinkit was clear to me that, even
(37:49):
though this person, I believe,may have great energy, they may
be a wonderful person, I canconfidently say that I have no
idea who this human is.
I think they presented aversion of themselves.
You know, I believe we're allRubik's cubes and I got to see
one side of that cube andunfortunately it was a side that
just didn't marry or gel orvibe.
(38:11):
With what reason?
Season or lifetime?
I was in Selfishly, this personwas only thinking about
themselves, and that themedidn't change when they decided
to send me an inbox message acouple of weeks ago.
It was still very self-absorbedand there wasn't apology, but
the apology lackedaccountability and true, genuine
(38:32):
self-reflection.
It just sounded like somebodytrying to explain something away
.
So, as I sit in reflection ofseasonal connections, what was I
growing through?
Everything that feels goodain't good for you.
That was my repeat pattern andfor some reason I was just so
ignorant to the truth that wasright in front of my face.
(38:52):
So again, here's another lessonfor Naya in setting boundaries.
But not just setting boundaries, but setting boundaries and not
wavering.
This was the same advice I gaveto my friend last week, and you
wonder why.
And then three.
I really gotta learn to trustmyself again.
I really did think that thiswas gonna be my first, last date
(39:14):
, but why would I think that?
Fool me once.
Shame on you.
Fool me twice.
Shame on me.
Fold me three times.
Get the fuck out of here.
Now my reflections on Possiblywhat she could be going through.
The situations change, but thestory is really largely the same
lack of accountability to otherpeople's feelings, lack of
(39:37):
accountability to their personalactions.
Losing access to me was thelesson.
You finding my videos, whatevervideo that you received, that
helped you get through what youwere growing through.
That was it.
What is most reflective, thoughthis should have been a seasonal
connection, and it ended upbeing a reason-based connection,
(40:00):
all because when my spirit toldme what it was, I didn't listen
, poof.
So you got to learn it the hardway.
So it won't be a third time,but I do find it so interesting
having these folks resurface andNot once them thinking.
I wonder how this has impactedher, if it impacted her, because
(40:23):
let me tell you this too bothof those messages implied that
Whatever they did hurt me orcause me to be withdrawn or
pulled back.
That can't be furthest from thetruth.
So let's recap seasonalconnections Now.
These connections often feelfamiliar and are deeply rooted
(40:44):
in just a short amount of time.
Because of this, they seem toorganically flow and evolve
naturally, but with resistance.
Three, there are roadblocks andfears that begin to surface,
that cause this friction andeventually distance and for
separation is inevitable.
(41:10):
Now let's talk about Lifetimeconnections.
I feel like these are thoseconnections that, no matter how
long they last, they will alwayshave a lasting impact on your
life.
And this is where I feel likemy view differs the most from
the poem.
I think the poem talked aboutan individual Assessing
(41:31):
relationships from theirperspective.
I think that that misses agreat opportunity, because it
takes two people to be in aconnection, whether that's
friendship, relationship, family, colleagues at work, any
scenario you can think of, it'syou and someone else or a group
of someone else's.
So I will say, when it comes tolifetime connections, sometimes
(41:53):
they could last a few days andsometimes they can last a few
weeks, but they change how wefeel about ourselves and
Ultimately can be a greatcatalyst for shifts that we need
to take now.
I'm not saying that lifetimeconnections change you, because
you still have a choice to bethe same.
Something that should have beena potential lifetime connection
(42:15):
can end up being seasonal orreason-based, based on the
decisions we make.
But a few things I know about me.
I know that when people connectwith me, especially if we've
connected in a Intimate setting,in a more relationship based
connection, you will never bethe same.
And I'm not saying this becauseI think I'm prettier than
(42:36):
others, or I think my love isbetter than anybody, or I'm
trying to compare myself tofolks.
I am not the prettiest, I amnot perfect.
I got shit all of us do but Iknow my love is Elevating.
I know that I house thefrequency to create safe spaces
that make you first feeluncomfortable and then feel
safest fuck.
I know that it is difficult toengage in a connection with
(43:00):
somebody who moves like that andnot believe that it wasn't
meant to be.
How many people do you knowthat you rock with, who believe
in you, believe in love, pushyou to be your best, accept and
receive you where the fuck youare, without judgment, open
themselves up vulnerably?
Each situation I've been through, these two and others they
(43:22):
Consistently show me a littlebit more about myself and help
me gain a deeper level ofawareness.
That was the gift.
It was never about them.
So from this, although Ibelieve that the first
connection was reason-based andthe second connection Should
have been a seasonal connection,that ended up being
(43:44):
reason-based For me.
In both of these connections Ileveled up.
I love myself, and noself-respecting person
volunteers for bullshit.
So know the frequency you bringto connections.
If you got a whole bunch ofbaggage, why would you want
somebody to carry that?
That's for you to deal with.
(44:05):
Learn to ask the right questionsto before presupposing what
you're feeling might be what youaren't facing, it may have
nothing to do with the otherperson.
It's time to level up.
Y'all know that loss andknowing when to let go.
That is the lesson.
Sometimes people leave yourlife for various reasons and
while some people may use thisas an excuse to explain away in
(44:29):
action, I think it's the perfectopportunity to be reflective.
Ask the right questions first.
Introspectively, this Apologyhas nothing to do with me and
it's everything to do with you.
You still ain't sitting withyourself, but for me, this is
where the pattern stops.
In thinking about what lifetimelesson could both of these
(44:53):
people, these humans, thesebeautiful energies learned from
Our time connecting.
I don't care, and I don't saythat heartlessly.
I say that with all the love inmy soul.
We want so badly to directblame instead of seeing the
value in the interaction.
Nothing more, nothing less.
If it would not for the time Itook to pause and reflect about
(45:15):
these connections, lovefrequency would have never been
conceptualized and I wouldn'thave the opportunity to connect
with you all.
If it were not for theseinteractions, I wouldn't have
learned the value of Gettingwhat I give and accepting
nothing less.
And if it were not for myselfMaking time to understand the
(45:35):
value of loss, then I might besitting around believing that
something was wrong with me,that I was unlovable.
My lifetime connections haveshown me who I am and in each
phase, every time this happensto you too because I know I
ain't the only one you are beingpresented with a reflection of
yourself what you gonna do withthat information.
(45:58):
So when we think about lifetimeconnections, the impact is more
important than the length oftime.
Those connections are acatalyst for the changes that
you need to be making in yourlife.
It's also important, withlifetime connections, to
understand the importance ofletting go let go of trying to
(46:18):
control the outcomes.
In reflection, I do think thatthere is some significance to
reason, season lifetime, knowingthat this theory came from a
(46:42):
poem, but a poem that reallytruly breaks down how to look at
friendships or relationshipsfrom an individualistic
perspective.
Reason are those connectionsthat are meant to help us face
shadows I believe that we'reavoiding.
Seasonal connections are thosepivotal moments where we're
(47:06):
about to level up, and Lifetimeconnections are those that, no
matter the length, it's thelesson that is the most relevant
and the most important In thetwo examples that I provided,
although they both ended upbeing reason-based connections,
I do hope that they arelistening.
I do hope that they know, withall the love in my heart, this
(47:30):
wasn't intended to burn, but togrow.
I believe when you know, yougrow, and the one Disadvantage
that both of these parties havehad is, since they weren't
asking the right questions,they're coming into this
conversation only seeing thingsfrom one side.
So, with that, the lifetimelessons that I have learned from
(47:50):
every connection I have everbeen in has only served to help
me learn myself a little bitbetter, be reflective, realize
that in every loss there is alesson, and sometimes the lesson
is one of accountability.
So know the energy you bringinto the connections that you're
in.
What is your ROI?
(48:12):
What is the other personreceiving by investing in
connecting with you?
Or are you somebody who justtends to leave people bankrupt
the next steps?
Well, what would you do withthis information?
Will you use it to make somenecessary changes, to turn
reasons and seasons intolifetime lessons, or will you
(48:32):
ignore this message and themessage is the universe is
sending you and continue torepeat the same patterns?
I Don't think reaching out toyour past is always a solution.
Sometimes you got to start withright now.
(49:02):
Hey, love, I want to thank youso much for hanging out with me
today.
I love our talks.
I do.
We should do this more often,you know.
Hang out and talk about thingswe've been feeling.
If you like it, let's meet hereagain next Sunday and do this
damn thing.
Don't forget, give us fivestars.
If you like what you heard onany podcast platform that you
(49:23):
may be listening to, go aheadand rank us.
Listen, send your questions in,send your stories in.
If you have a response to thisepisode, I'd love to hear it.
You can email me or send me amessage on social media and I'll
leave the instructions in theshow notes.
I'm also excited tune in nextweek cuz we're gonna finish up.
I do have to give y'all thatupdate on my friend.
Y'all I we thought it was onequestion and and this it's not
(49:47):
she got that juice, I guess.
Listen, honey, but also sharethis with one person who you
know, who needs to beaccountable To the shit that
they bring into connection sothat they can be better for
themselves.
Because here, on the frequencywhen you know you grow Until
next time, I love you, but youreally got to start sitting with
(50:10):
you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.