April 2, 2023 • 50 mins
Our guest in episode 18 Ben Tuff, is a life long educator who has set out to inspire not only his students but now others in the recovery space. Ben is a record holding ultramarathon swimmer who only learned how to swim in his thirties as part of his recovery from alcohol addiction. In his upcoming documentary "Swim Tuff: How I swam my way out of the bottle" Ben has taken an unconventional approach to sharing his recovery journey in a way that has never been done before. With the goal of destigmatizing addiction, Ben is encouraging others to pursue their passion one stroke at a time. We can't wait to check out this amazing documentary when it is released later this spring!
to find out more about Ben connect with him on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/ben.tuff/?next=%2F
or you can send him an email at bentuff@gmail.com
Check out the trailer for Ben's documentary "Swim Tuff": How I swam my way out of the bottle on YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ieaYrqYuIFc
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:03):
welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:26):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Tracey (00:42):
Hello everyone and welcome back to the LAF Life
podcast.
This is season two and episode18.
Tonight we have a guest joiningus, Ben Tuff and Ben actually
got introduced to us by anotherguest Kim Kerns, which is
awesome.
We love when we get to connectwith people in our sober
community and we are thankfulthat Kim made this connection
(01:05):
for us.
A little bit of what I'velearned about Ben so far.
Ben is a lifelong educator andhe is had the privilege of
working with boarding studentsacross the world.
He is here tonight to share withus an exciting project he's been
working on.
He has a documentary called SwimTuff, how I swam my way out of
(01:26):
the bottle that is going to bereleasing the spring.
And one of the things I foundinteresting about some of the
information Ben shared with mewas the fact that he has this
documentary around swimming andhow that helped him with his
sobriety.
Meanwhile, he grew up around theocean and has an appreciation
and love for it, but didn't knowhow to swim.
(01:47):
So I'm very excited to learnmore and find out how he came
about that and what thisdocumentary is all about.
Welcome Ben.
Thank you for joining us.
Ben (01:59):
Thank you very much for having me.
Let's start with yourrelationship with alcohol.
Ben, tell us a little bit aboutthat how it started and how it
led you to where you are.
Yeah, so it was pretty early inmy life I didn't start in vibing
in alcohol, but I was surroundedby it since pretty much birth,
I'm the youngest of six kids.
(02:20):
I grew up in a very traditionalEuropean family.
And it was if you want to tryit, go for it.
And both my parents prescribedto the idea of, if it's in our
house and we're aware of it,then, not to worry about it.
So I was I think it was age 13,I had a lot of anxiety growing
(02:45):
up and.
I was a big hypochondriac.
I was always worried that I hada malady of some sort, and it
was like musical illnesses forme and I was convinced I was
gonna die of cancer.
I think this might have stemmedfrom when I was in second grade,
one of my closest friends wasdiagnosed with bladder cancer
(03:07):
and had to have his bladderremoved.
And thankfully he recovered fromthat, but there were times that
we didn't think he was gonnamake it.
And I remember vividly afterthat thinking that I had bladder
cancer or then I had a braintumor or I had something else.
So I would take the anxietiesand the pieces of my life that
(03:28):
were most difficult and I wouldinternalize it and put it
somewhere in my body.
I was 13 when I found out I washaving what were panic attacks,
right?
And I went downstairs and it wasnear bedtime, probably eight 30
or nine at night.
And I said to my mom, I said,mom, I'm like sweating.
I'm gonna throw up.
(03:49):
You go to the hospital.
And she was like, no, you don't.
You're being silly.
This is all in your head.
She went into the other room andshe came out with a small little
shot of vodka and she said, justtake this and this'll calm your
inner turmoil and your nervesand you'll be able to sleep
fine.
And I never really drank muchuntil starting like 16.
(04:13):
17 when we reached our junioryear of high.
High school and then it was onyes, I just wanted to ask, when
you had that shot of vodka, whatwas of your reaction to it, or
what were your thoughts aroundit?
I thought it was disgusting.
But it worked.
Tracey (04:32):
Okay.
Okay.
You did have that sense of, oh,this made me feel better, At the
same time, it was something thatI was really fearful of, given
my.
Propensity to overanalyze myhealth and such.
And because I was playingcompetitive soccer, I was like,
I don't need alcohol.
I'm gonna steer away from this.
(04:52):
I don't care what my brothersand sisters do, I'm not quite
ready for this.
But again, once I was 16 or 17,it became a mainstay and I had a
lower self-esteem.
It's never easy to be anidentical twin, that presents a
different kind of self-imageissue.
You're always trying to not becompared with your twin brother,
(05:16):
but inevitably it happens everyday and every second of every
day.
And I hated it.
I hated every bit of it, but,Come the weekend time, I was the
partying one and I was the onewho was being social and I was
organizing all the gettogethers.
Even though it wasn't so much ofa problem of me abusing it, I
(05:38):
was definitely a binge drinker.
And all my friends that hung outwith me, we were all binge
drinkers and we continued thatall the way through college.
It wasn't until, about 14 yearsago that I really went down that
(05:58):
steep road of alcoholism andalcohol abuse I was
self-medicating for every excuseand every feeling that I had,
including the panic attacks andall that.
I knew that I would at leasthave a short respite from the
(06:19):
inner anguish that I felt.
I would go to the liquor storeand I would have already had the
$20 bill that I had gotten incash back from the supermarket,
because I didn't want my wife tofind out I was getting all this
cash.
And so I'd get the$20 bill, I'dput it in there.
I'd buy pine of vodka, I'd buytwo vitamin waters, and then I'd
(06:40):
drink the vitamin waters down tothe labels.
I'd fill it up with the vodka,and then I would convince myself
very easily, surprisingly easythat it was just, Vitamin water.
I was drinking on the way home.
Then I'd get home and I'd try tocover up the smell of alcohol by
drinking, a few more beers.
(07:01):
By that time I was prettyintoxicated and I'd just go to
bed and the daily kind ofrepertoire of all of that
started to take its tollmentally and physically.
And I just couldn't keep ittogether much, the hangovers and
the shakes, for three years Ipretty much was leading this
(07:25):
secret double life where I washiding all of this drinking.
Then that whole thing camehumbling down in a 24 hour
period of time.
Wow.
That's very interesting.
You've said a lot of thingsthere actually that are
interesting to me.
I am curious about the anxietyand even the hypochondriac.
(07:51):
Have you dolled into that alittle more?
Were those two things directlyrelated?
Like the anxiety was due to thefact that you were always
worried about your health and.
Ben (08:02):
Yeah, it wasn't until I went to rehab and I went to
Silver Hill Hospital inConnecticut, I had, and
currently have a wonderfulpsychiatrist who explained it
all to me.
I was diagnosed with bipolardisorder, so no one ever, I'd
never been to a psychiatristbefore.
Or seen anybody or a therapistor anything like that.
(08:24):
So the anxieties I felt wasactually a cause of, or the
result of depression and the waythat my brain manifested the low
feelings, I, in turn justinternalized all that as a
malady of some sort.
(08:44):
And was just a habit for me,fixate on those little things in
myself that might have been abigger issue.
Tracey (08:56):
Wow.
That must have been so hardgrowing up with that your whole
life and not realizing what itwas.
Not only that I found what yousaid about your twin really
interesting I don't know a lotof people that are twins and
I've never heard that kind ofperspective on it.
But I can understand that musthave been challenging.
When you're an identical twinand you pretty much have, the
(09:19):
exact identical of you and thecomparison and everything else.
I can see how that could cause alot of internal struggle.
Chris and I we got along great.
It was just in the eyes ofeveryone else.
It was a constant struggle totry to find our own identities.
It's difficult enough.
And after doing this forteaching for 21 years I've
learned that it's so difficultfor middle schoolers and young
(09:44):
high schoolers to figure out whothey really are and how they
show that.
If you throw in someone wholooks exactly like you and you
both are trying to go on thesame path and you're very
similar, but at the same timeyou're struggling to separate it
makes it that much moredifficult.
Yeah, definitely to beindividuals.
(10:05):
Or feel like you're individuals.
Yeah.
That's really interesting,right?
As far as the drinking went,maybe go back to that.
Sorry, I interrupted, but youtouched on a few things that I
thought were pretty importantand interesting there.
Yeah, so it was a panic attackthat brought me to the
Torrington Hospital, which wasnot a nice hospital by any
(10:28):
means.
I arrived there and I was in thetriage room my wife had taken me
there, it was 1130 in themorning and we're literally
waiting in there for an hour anda half, two hours.
And I'm like, what's going on?
Why is this taking so long?
And I said to the nurse, what'staking so long?
And she said we have to wait foryour blood alcohol.
(10:50):
Limit or, blood alcohol contentto get below the legal limit for
us to admit you here.
And so I looked over at my wifeand, my heart hit my stomach and
I was like, I'm dis like it'sall up.
Everything is out there now.
I'm done.
And I said, okay, let's go.
I'm gonna rehab.
I'm ready to go.
(11:10):
I have a problem.
This is a serious issue.
I know that you have lots ofquestions, but I'm ready for
rehab.
And that afternoon I ended upgoing into detox.
I did like a seven or eight daydetox in Torrington Hospital as
we waited for a bed to open updown at the, rehab.
And I went in there like readyto.
(11:33):
Go.
I was like, let's do this.
in the beginning there were afew people who came up.
They were like, what are you sohappy about?
I was like, I'm so happy to befinally figuring out my life and
to getting to the bottom of allthese problems.
So was your wife shocked?
Was she in shock or did she knowwhat was going on and, so I
(11:55):
didn't know that she had myprimary care physician call
ahead and order all those testsjust to see what was up.
And, once they saw the liverfunction and the blood alcohol
content, it was like, okay,that's definitely what it's
been.
You.
There's no way that I could goagainst what the doctors are
saying.
And if they needed that asammunition.
(12:16):
I'd been caught before withlittle things like having
alcohol or having beers hiddenor trying to hide them in the
past.
So it wasn't a great surprisebut me being inebriated after 12
hours, more than 12 hours, 14hours I think that was still a
(12:37):
little bit of a shock as it wasto me, because I definitely
didn't feel it, and I feltawful.
When you went into detox, didyou have a lot of withdrawal
symptoms?
Ben (12:48):
Yeah.
I didn't have any of the dts,but they put me on a pretty
hefty dose of benzos to taper medown.
I think I was on a six day taperand I still had, weird voices
and not visions, but just sorestless, couldn't sleep.
(13:08):
I remember how excited I was thefourth day we finally had my
appetite back cuz it had been solong since I was properly
hungry.
Something.
Wow.
It was like chicken parmesan orsomething really gross chicken
Parmesan and was just like, wow.
Like I'm actually really excitedabout eating this and I ate the
(13:30):
whole thing.
And prior to that, it wasn'treally much, much eating.
And I was 163 pounds when I wasadmitted to Torrington.
And now after the swimming andafter everything, I'm usually
about two 10 to two 15.
That was, I was sick.
I looked sick and my body wastelling me I was sick, but I
(13:52):
didn't know how to listen to it.
Kelly (13:53):
How old were you at this point, Ben?
So that was 11 years ago.
So 32 no wait.
31.
If you don't mind me asking,between you and your wife, did
it ever come up like you needto.
Get yourself together.
I want you to quit drinking,like all that.
Okay.
Yeah, I was just curious aboutthat.
Oh yeah.
I would do sober January andRight.
(14:15):
I would take a month off here,take a month off there and be
like, yeah, see, I don't needit.
I'm good.
Yeah.
And it was always a pretty slowdownfall.
Like it would just go, and thenthose last two weeks, it would
always a precipitous fall.
Tracey (14:31):
So you went from detox into a rehab?
Yes.
So I went to a 28 day rehab.
I ended up staying there forjust over that.
I did 35 days because I justneeded one more week to get
ready.
And also since I was, I lived ata boarding school and I lived
(14:51):
with all the students.
It was too much for me to goback and answer all these
questions.
About, what I was going throughand what I discovered about
myself.
So I waited until right aftergraduation to return.
So did the kids know, like atthe end of the day, I'm sure
your coworkers knew somethingobviously, cuz he had to be,
(15:12):
where's Ben?
Did it come out and did it comeout in the context of I'm gonna
do something with this in apositive.
Ben (15:19):
Yeah.
So all the teachers knew and Itold my wife, I said just tell
them like I don't have anythingto hide.
For the kids, I wasn't sure ofwhere to go.
On my fourth day, it was a rainyday and I'm getting off the bus
for dinner.
And as I'm walking down, I hearsomeone yell, Mr Tuff, and I
(15:39):
look, I'm like, Caroline.
She's Mr.
Tuff.
What are you doing here?
And I was like I'm probably herefor the same reason you're here.
And literally, I taught her forthe last two and a half years.
And we're talking about when youran into, Treatment at, so yeah,
at treatment.
Oh, wow.
But it was actually quite coolbecause we would have meals
(16:00):
together and hang out and wewere very open and we said to
each other let's just keep thisbetween us.
And no one has to know you'rehere and they don't have to know
that I'm here.
But over that summer, it's nicebeing a teacher in recovery
because I had three months tojust concentrate on myself.
And Right.
I did my 90 and 90 and I wasvery religious about my
(16:26):
recovery.
And in that process I started tothink about who I wanted to be.
And I said, you know what?
I never in my whole life hadanybody in recovery that I knew
that was normal and that wasfun, that could do really cool
(16:48):
things.
So I'm gonna let these kidsknow.
They need to know that I'm inrecovery.
This is my experience, this ismy journey, so that if something
does come up, they'll at leasthave me to go to.
As I say this I took one of myformer students who I taught
seventh through ninth grade.
I took him to rehab.
(17:12):
Grab him from rehab on Tuesdayand bring him to another three
month program in Arizona.
Yeah.
And he said, I don't want anyoneelse taking me.
I don't wanna see my mom.
I don't wanna see my dad.
I just want Ben to take me.
I trust him.
I talked to him three times aday and I wouldn't be here if it
(17:33):
wasn't for him.
So let's just make that journeytogether.
And I was like, let's do it.
Let's go.
Wow.
It'll be a fun experience doingthat together.
Kelly (17:44):
Just for the listeners who may not know what 90 and 90
is
Ben (17:47):
Oh yeah.
So it's, it's 90 meetings and 90days I am a big fan of whatever
works for you.
I'm not, you have to do aa.
That's the only way to go cuzthere are so many other
approaches to sobriety that canbe successful.
For me, AA has workedunbelievably well and I'm also a
(18:10):
little bit more of atraditionalist.
So for that student I wastalking about, he could not
stand aa, so we're of likeshopping around a little bit and
he enjoyed two visits to smartrecovery and we're looking at
maybe going that route, but inthe end as I talk to people who
are either seeking recovery orin recovery, it's all about just
(18:35):
finding people like you.
You need to have Absolutely.
You need to have that supportnetwork and that support network
can't be your buddies from highschool or college or of random
people who you think understandyou really well or a therapist.
(18:56):
Yeah.
That's part of the whole puzzlethat we have to put together.
But at the center of it are thepeople that you surround
yourself with in recovery?
So true.
That's come up on the podcast afew times with, friends and
family can be supportive, but wecan't expect them to understand
(19:18):
what addiction is if they'venever struggled with it
themselves.
So having that connection toother, like you said, other
people just like us is what'simportant.
Yeah.
And it's so easy now yes, I doenjoy an in-person meeting a lot
better than an online meeting,but there's sometimes that we're
(19:40):
just limited and we just need ameeting right away of some sort
where, whatever that might be.
And it's just a click away.
Even I still use my sponsorfrom.
Silver Hill that I had 11 yearsago that was supposed to be my
temporary sponsor for my timethere.
(20:01):
And he's actually the one whogot me into swimming to begin
with.
I still talk to him on a weeklybasis not to sound like I have
it all together, but because nowI'm working with so many
students, parents, friends whoare either in recovery or
looking for recovery, sometimesI just need a sounding board and
(20:22):
saying is, am I doing the rightthing here?
Ken, can I do this?
Or is this really bad?
And I think I actually lean onhim the most for unbiased view
of my family.
And I'm one of eight, includingmy parents and now there are
only two drinkers left.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
I I was curious about that.
(20:43):
Yeah.
I was the first one to get whatI needed, and then soon after
the others fell in line.
Yeah.
Because they were strugglingwith addiction or just because
it wasn't serving them orvarious Yes.
Anyone who says addiction is nota genetic disorder should study
our family because I think we'rea pretty good testament to it.
(21:07):
To the whole idea that, we docarry whatever gene that is.
And maybe it's nature, maybeit's nurture, who knows.
But there were, all of us neededthat help.
Tracey (21:20):
I can relate to that, Ben.
I had a lot of alcoholism in myfamily, and actually after I
quit, my mom quit and then mybrother and his partner quit
too.
So we only have two drinkersleft in our family too, and they
have healthy relationships withalcohol, so that's okay so far.
Yeah, it's interesting how thathappens, but it's a wonderful
(21:41):
thing.
Ben (21:41):
And that one took me by surprise because I knew that I
was always leading by example inmy life as a teacher and as a
coach and as an advisor and allthat.
But I never thought that I wouldbe leading by example for my
family members.
Oh, that's cool.
I thought I was an outcast and Ithought I was an exception.
(22:02):
And yeah, they said,congratulations, I'm so proud of
you.
But the way they really showedhow proud they were of me, Was
the day that they gave upalcohol.
Kelly (22:11):
That's cool.
So what are your family gettogethers like now?
I'm sure very different.
It's so funny, we used to haveto get extra blue recycling bins
that went out the back door.
Because it was just mayhem andbetween wine and beer and
everything.
And now we have two bluerecycling bins and they're all
(22:39):
full of seltzer water.
All of them.
And it's sure that the recyclingguy who comes by was like,
there's been a drastic change inthis household over the last few
years.
Oh, that's funny.
That's awesome.
I remember when we changed whereI live, we changed to the taller
(22:59):
bins with the lids.
The ones that you roll out onwheels.
And I remember when we changedbeing like, oh, thank God nobody
can see all my wine bottlesanymore because I hated putting
those bins.
Yeah.
We had extra bins lots of times.
Ben (23:10):
Yeah.
It is the kind of walk of shame.
Yeah.
When I used to run a lot on thepickup days, I used to be like
problem.
Okay.
They're okay.
They might have a problem orthey had a party.
But I try not to judge as muchas I can.
Tracey (23:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mike, you had a question forBen?
Mike (23:30):
No, I was gonna say when you went back to work obviously
it's a big change in your life.
Were you met with any resistancefrom say superiors to say, Hey,
don't share your story with thekids cuz we're not sure about
how to do you understand whatI'm getting at?
They all said not to.
I think the excuse in thebeginning was, be sick.
(23:53):
They're gonna see that you drankso much, but then you could be
okay afterwards.
Yeah.
That's the message that you'resending them.
And I said, no, it's it's notreally that.
Yeah.
It's that if you have an issuewith anything, you can ask for
help and get that help and thenend up leading a much better
(24:16):
life as a result of it.
What was the turnaround time forthem to say, okay, do it your
way.
See, that's how I I roll adifferent way than most people.
I just do it anyway.
Alright.
So I just for forgiveness typeof approach, I did it anyway.
It actually took, so about threemonths in, I had some students
(24:41):
approach me about their motherwho had just gone away to rehab
and they didn't understand itand they beneficial.
So I started taking thosestudents to all meetings.
Oh, Oh.
So it was at that point that theheadmaster said, Ben, keep it
up.
This is a really cool thing thatyou have.
(25:02):
Oh, thank you.
Great for waking up.
Yeah.
They employ you.
As a person who's been educatedin hair teach what we want you
to teach these kids.
But it's like the human elementis I'm using my damn instincts
to share myself, not only as ateacher, but as a human to say
trust me that I'm gonna teachthese kids the right thing.
(25:25):
Good for you.
I think that's amazing.
For me, when I became a teacher,I became a teacher because my
middle school teachers werehorrible.
They talked down on me all thetime.
I had no motivation.
And I made a rule for myselfthat when I worked with kids,
that I would always talk to themas grown human beings and I
wouldn't never talk down onthem.
(25:47):
And that's why when I talk tokids and when I work with kids
about issues like addiction, Ican get a lot more feedback from
them.
I can get them more engaged thanyour parent or an average person
(26:09):
trying to really talk aboutthese tough subjects.
Because you have to make it tothe point, like having the birds
and the bees talk.
If you're gonna be awkward aboutit, it's going to be even more
awkward for the kids.
Yeah.
But if you're able to be real,if you're able to really show
(26:31):
what will protect the kidsmoving forward for the rest of
their lives and get that messagethrough, then it's all
worthwhile, right?
That's awesome.
Sorry, trace, I know you'regonna get into the next episode
of what he's doing with his lifenow, but my last question is
there any contact or have youkept in touch with the student
(26:51):
that you did treatment with?
Did you say her name wasCaroline Or Caroline?
Caroline.
Caroline.
So I'm Facebook friends withher.
She's sober and she lives in NewYork City.
Just a product of a very wealthyhousehold.
And she's working in the fashionindustry, making dresses and
doing fashion shows.
(27:12):
So she's doing great.
She didn't go the traditionalroute of, she got her, I think
she just got her diploma or theequivalent of Never went to
fashion school, never went tocollege.
And yet she has found greatsuccess.
It's always reassuring to knowthat a 14 year old or a kid who
(27:34):
goes to get help that early intheir life Wow.
That they can continue down apositive path.
So she was 14 at that point.
Wow.
Yep.
Tracey (27:46):
And she stayed sober, so That's amazing.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Awesome.
So yes, tell us about yoursponsor.
Who inspired the rest of yourjourney?
I think
Ben (28:01):
It was funny because it was the third day we had our weekly
or our daily assignments atSilver Hill and was like, read
this much of the big book orread this and write in your
journal.
And on the third day I see thatmy assignment is you must go to
the early aa, the early bird andyou must come home with a
sponsor that you're gonna talkto every day.
(28:22):
And I was like, holy, I gottafind some complete stranger that
I'm gonna just totally open upto.
This is so awkward.
So I walk into that meeting inNew Canan and there are like 80
people in there, and I felt likeI was going on a speed dating
excursion of some sort.
And I'm like, who am I gonnaask?
(28:43):
It was mostly men.
So it, it's not like I couldnarrow out the women.
And then I heard this guy, Ken,start to speak and my roommate,
who had already finished maybethree weeks at the rehab, he
came to me and he said, are yougonna pick a sponsor?
I said, yeah.
I was like, how do I pick one?
He said, you need to pick theperson who's gonna really hold
(29:06):
you accountable and is gonna getyou through the steps and is
gonna do everything possible to.
Make sure that you build thatfoundation strong enough so that
you never relapse or even thinkabout it.
And I said, okay, so I need tofind someone serious and someone
who I can get along with.
And this guy Ken comes up and hehad a rich Irish accent and he
(29:30):
was in no nonsense.
He then started to talk about atriathlon that he recently
raced.
And I'm like, cool.
That's cool.
He ended up doing a triathlonand he talked about how he
learned how to swim and I waslike, oh my gosh.
Maybe I could be a triathletewhen I'm done with this place.
So I went up to him after ameeting and I said, Ken, can I
(29:50):
Ask you a question would you bemy sponsor while I'm here and
just my temporary sponsor?
And do you think that I couldlearn how to swim in a short
period of time so that I couldmaybe do a triathlon, a short
triathlon by the end of thesummer?
And he was like, yeah, I'll beyour sponsor.
I'd love to be your sponsor andyou definitely can learn how to
(30:12):
swim now at the time, I didn'trealize that Ken I only found
this out when I was talking inRy New York to a group of
individuals.
Ken and I did a question andanswer together, and I asked Ken
what he first thought of me whenI was in at, in rehab, and he
thought I was, he said, Ithought you were an obnoxious
(30:33):
prick Who thought he kneweverything.
I was like, Oh, so that's who Iwas going up and approaching and
asking to be my sponsor.
Was this guy who didn't evenlike me, and yet he still said,
yeah, he'll sponsor me, which issuch a cool thing.
And literally I jumped in thepool the day after I got back
(30:55):
from Silver Hill, and I would golike half the length of the pool
on doing crawl, sidestrokebackstroke all together,
breaststroke.
And then I'd make it to the endand I'd do four lengths.
And I was like, that's enoughfor the day.
This is gonna be brutal.
But by the end of the summer,about two months later, I could
(31:16):
swim a good, I wouldn't call itfast, but I could do about a
half mile at a time.
And I did my first triathlon Ithink for me.
And I was like, let's do thisand that next summer I did 11
triathlons, and then the nextsummer I did 15.
So it was just off and running.
(31:38):
And I was a good triathlete Iwas in the top 10% in the US and
I went to nationals, I wasn'tthe best.
So just like with the alcoholismrunning in the family, so does
competitiveness, and I know thatgrowing up my parents loved the
fact that the tough family neverlost to anything.
(32:01):
And so I took that into myindividual pursuit of triathlon
and I would go to the start lineand I would look at everybody's
calves and I would see who wasin my age group.
And I'd be like, I'm gonna beatyou.
I'm gonna beat you, I'm gonnabeat you and it's gonna be done
and I can't wait.
And I said, At the end of one ofthese races when, I probably got
second or third, that wasusually where I ended up because
(32:23):
some guy would just be so fastand I wouldn't have a chance,
and I would be like, why am Idoing this?
I realized that I wasn't doingit for myself anymore.
I wasn't doing it for the joy ofit, I was just doing it for
winning.
It was at that point that I madethe decision just to switch to
(32:46):
swimming.
I signed up for a two mile raceand it was relatively easy and I
did relatively well.
And I was like, if I can do twomiles, I can do anything.
And then I did that next summer.
I did a 12 and a half mile racearound Key West and raised money
for my school, the school that Iworked at.
(33:08):
And then I was like 12 and ahalf miles.
That was a five hour swim.
That wasn't bad.
And then I did a swim aroundJamestown, Rhode Island.
And to bring in another kindaelement, I decided to raise
money for a nonprofitenvironmental group called Clean
(33:30):
Ocean Access, which I'm now thepresident of.
We raised money for cleanups andeducation and testing water
quality and composting.
When I first did it, I did itjust because I didn't wanna back
out.
I had to hold myselfaccountable.
(33:52):
If I had 450 people giving moneyand resources to my swim to help
benefit clean ocean access,there's no way I was backing
out.
So I raised$55,000 that firstyear and did the 21 mile swim.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then I was like, let's upthe ante a little bit.
(34:12):
And I did a swim.
The next swim was from BlockIsland to Jamestown, that was 19
miles of open ocean.
The tough part of that one wasthat it was through the biggest
breeding ground of great whitesharks in all of the East coast.
I had to keep that intoperspective and I was able to
(34:34):
raise$102,000.
And then the final one, which iswhat the movie Swim Tuff is
about, was from Providence,Rhode Islands.
All the way down to Jamestown,which was the whole length of
Narragansett Bay.
So I became the first person todo both of those swims and the
(34:56):
only person to have done thosetwo swims ever.
And to me, I was like, that'scool.
I'm doing that all by myself.
I'm doing that on my own, and noone can really get in the way of
that.
I'm also doing it for a greatcause.
But more than that, my journeyas I soon found out through this
(35:17):
movie, my journey in andswimming has mirrored my journey
in sobriety to a whole notherlevel.
If you think of how muchattention.
We pay on ourselves during ourown time, during the swimming
process.
There are some weeks that I willbe in the water, 20 to 25 hours.
(35:42):
All of that time I spend in myown mind and I know that a lot
of people don't want to gothere, but now I actually look
forward to it cuz it's my time.
I can process, I can connectwith my higher power, I can be
mindful of my surroundings andpractice mindfulness and it's
such a cool experience.
(36:05):
At the same time, I'm not agreat swimmer.
my technique isn't perfect, itisn't that good, but in the end
it doesn't matter.
It's all about just staying inthat moment and being able to,
Process and push through thecraziest mental and physical
(36:27):
barriers that will ever get inyour mind or on your body.
Through that perseverance, youlearn a lot about who you really
are.
Said.
Yeah.
Incredible.
Do you have any kids, Ben?
Yes.
I have two.
You can probably hear them inthe background.
I have a 16 year old son namedWyatt and a 13 year old named
(36:52):
Maisie.
So Wyatt would've been say underthe age of six when you were
going through those?
Yes.
Yeah.
So it was, so we were down inAtlanta a few weeks ago they
don't like cameras and they'renot like on the DL and they
didn't wanna get an interview,but they finally said they would
get interview down in Atlantawith our producer.
(37:13):
And I snuck around the cornerand listened to what they were
saying.
And wouldn't, Wyatt was sayingMaisie doesn't remember any of
it.
And why?
I was like, I just remembergoing to see my dad at this
place that like, was like acamp.
It was like so cool that Iwanted to go there.
And I would say that thetoughest phone call that I think
(37:34):
probably ever had was about fourdays.
I told my wife just to gimme alittle bit of time to get
settled and I didn't wanna gethomesick, so gimme four days to
talk and I ended up talking toher.
I was so excited.
I was like, I'm doing awesome.
I got this new sponsor named Keneverything is going well.
This is just so great.
(37:54):
I'm concentrating on myself.
And he was, she was like, oh,really?
Everything's great here too.
Your son Wyatt is finally notacting out and is calm and cool.
And he no longer is having thoselittle tantrums that he had.
Yeah.
And he's no longer affected byyour crazy behavior.
And of course like that burst mybubble and brought me down to
(38:17):
earth and I just started cryingand I couldn't even keep it
together.
I had to hang up and.
That's the truth.
And that's what I needed to hearbecause a lot of times we forget
about the wreckage that we leavebehind and I'm just thankful and
fortunate to have been able torepair a lot of what went on and
(38:39):
also earn back that trust.
And earning back that trust wasthe hardest.
I would say the two hardestthings for me in sobriety was
earning back trust and finding asocial group and making friends
again because I was just lost.
And it actually wasn.
Until I started triathlon and Igot in this cool network of
(39:02):
triathletes that I started tomake friends again.
And it's, those are the peoplewho I surround myself on those
crazy swims and they're thesupport people and the trust
piece as Ken told me, he waslike, trust has to come with
time.
Yeah.
You have to prove it.
You have to earn it.
It was like six months into mysobriety and we had all signed
(39:26):
up for a 5K run just for fun.
I got the stomach bug and I wasthrowing up all night and my
wife comes in so angry at meand.
how can you do this?
How can you do this to me again?
And she thought I was drinkingagain.
I was like, I'm not I reallyhave a stomach bug.
(39:47):
So I called Ken, I was like,Ken, what do I do?
I'm like, I'm not doing anythingwrong.
He said, what are you gonna do?
You did this to yourself, sothat's just gonna take time.
You're gonna have to earn itback.
And you'll know when it's there,but it doesn't come overnight.
I have to say Tracey she sharedthe clip what do you call it?
Trailer.
Trailer.
The trailer.
Thank you.
Yeah.
She shared the trailer for thedocumentary and I did watch it
(40:10):
just the one time.
And I thought your story wasreally cool.
And now I have loved hearingmore of it tonight, but one
thing that really stuck out forme was how proud your wife is of
you.
And, she speaks of it in thetrailer, but just also I think
there's a clip or two of herwatching you just where she's
not speaking and just the prideit's beautiful.
(40:30):
I noticed it.
Yeah.
No, I'm very lucky to have and Ithink for me it's so important
to remind myself from familymembers to, my close knit family
and friends.
We have to rely on those peopleon a daily basis.
And it is only through difficulttimes that you learn to create
(40:59):
such.
Unbelievable bonds.
And I can very easily say that Iwish I wasn't this way and I
wish I could drink like a normalhuman being, or I wish I didn't
have bipolar, or I wish this,but there isn't a second that
goes by that I'm not thankful tobe exactly who I am to have
experienced everything that Ihave experienced.
(41:22):
Because in my mind I now get tomake this really cool film and
make a mark on the world in aspace that has been not ventured
in too much.
Most of the addiction films outthere are like how addiction is
taught in a school.
And it's if you do this, youwill die or you'll end up like
(41:42):
this person.
But you know what, you mightjust be like me and.
As a result of your journey insobriety, you might just found
out that you can do some reallycool stuff.
That's awesome.
That's so amazing.
You have the uniqueness toimpact a lot of people given
what you do for your career withchildren and teaching it's truth
(42:05):
be told, it's a lot differentthan, someone like me who's just
a, not just a, but I have abusiness that I sell things,
whereas you have this directcontact with people and one of
the reasons why I do this withthe ladies is that it helps me
grow as a person.
Just like you said, yourexperience has helped you grow
as a person.
(42:26):
Bravo to you and man I can'twait to watch that documentary
cuz I don't watch movies, but Isure as hell watch
documentaries.
That's what I'm known for.
So it's top of my list, So it'sactually pretty funny that you
say that cuz I can't wait to seeit either.
I've seen the rough draft, but Iwill see everything other than
the music added tomorrow nightand Oh, wow.
(42:50):
I talked to the, yeah, I talkedto the editor earlier today.
She's I hope you don't mind, I'mnot gonna get it to you on time.
I was like, Jen, I usually go tobed at eight 30, so I have this
podcast and then I'm going rightto bed.
Don't worry about it.
No rush.
We're all good.
Mike (43:06):
The blue bins are gonna be full of seltzers.
Ben (43:09):
Exactly.
Tracey (43:12):
When's it gonna be released?
Ben, when do you think so?
I'm hoping that it will the guyswho are doing our music art
phenomenal.
One of them played in a bandcalled The Mighty, mighty
Bostons.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
And then the other guy was theproducer for Avril Levine and
all this crazy stuff, and theyhave been waiting for the
(43:35):
perfect documentary to cometogether and do something.
Wow.
So I sent them the rough draftand they're like, we found it.
This is.
We're gonna do this.
And they're just as excited as Iam about making the music to the
movie.
They're like, as soon as we getthat next draft on Wednesday,
it's back to the studio andwe're gonna bang it out in two
weeks.
So it'll be done in about twoweeks.
(43:55):
Then we'll go to color, get thatall done.
And we're really looking atthree weeks from now it being
released, but it's like a softrelease as I will be going
around to different filmfestivals to of promote it, show
it off, yeah.
And promote it.
Hopefully get some distributiongoing from, like a Netflix or
(44:20):
Amazon or something like that.
Get them to pick it up.
So make sure you let us go so wecan tell.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yes, I will.
So I have a question.
In your opinion, do you thinkthat people have more success in
sobriety when they find theirswimming or whatever it is?
Ben (44:42):
Yes, without a doubt.
I always tell people to findtheir passion if they haven't
already, and if they havealready found their passion in
life, then they need toconcentrate a little harder on
it, cuz they're gonna have aheck of a lot more time to work
on it.
But again, there's so many otherthings that we can try new in
(45:02):
our lives so I'm starting towork with people who are in
sobriety and in recovery and arekind of stunt.
So these are mostly long term,anywhere from 10 to 20 years of
recovery, and they just feellike they're stuck in the mud.
(45:23):
I help them find that missingpiece, to jumpstart that
recovery for themselves and toallow them to be excited about
something again, because that'swhat it's all about.
It's not always gonna beathletic although staying active
and doing something for yourbody is also doing something for
(45:45):
your mind and so important, andI did a talk down in Austin,
Texas to a group of thesegentlemen and they come in and
they're just like drinking sodasthe whole time and smoking
cigarettes one after another.
And they're like, I don'tunderstand, why I feel so bad
about myself.
I was like, wait a minute, areyou serious?
(46:07):
There are three of them that Iwill text every other day and
I'll say, okay, how's yourworkout going?
How are you walking your two orthree miles?
Or have you jumped into a poolin the last couple days and done
some laps?
And if not, then what's holdingyou back?
And they just need a little bitof an, accountability coach of
sorts to get them rebooted.
(46:30):
Love it.
Yeah.
That's great.
So you do that on the side typeof thing?
Or is this part of you being asponsor in theory?
Yeah, so that was a Y P O groupthat I ended up speaking to in
Texas.
They flew me down to be a kindof resource and to tell my story
and message.
(46:50):
But I'm starting or will startto do more with rehab centers
and by telling my story andhelping individuals find what is
gonna be my triathlon, what isgoing to be my swimming, what am
I gonna do for myself?
You're type stuff in the.
Exactly.
(47:10):
But yeah, so I'm actually goingdown to University of Georgia.
I'm speaking at a few of thefraternities down there, and my
twin brother was like, you'regoing into the belly of the
beast.
I hope you're ready for that.
Those guys are crazy.
And I was like, I know.
And that's why I'm so excited.
That's what I want.
It's like my advisory groupsused to always be like the
island of misfits because I hadthe most ridiculous kids in
(47:34):
there possible.
I took all the kids that no oneelse really wanted and yet I
knew that I would be able tofind some front to connect with
them and help them on their way.
And if I just get through to oneof those guys in those
fraternities, then you know thatword will pass on.
I think for me, if I had a morepositive figure in my life of
(47:57):
someone who was in sobriety thanI knew of, then it would've made
that jump a little easier andmaybe a little earlier in my
life.
But yeah.
Mike (48:07):
Now here you are and you're doing great things for
not only you, but your familyand many others.
I hope so.
And I love it.
So it's about finding passion.
Awesome.
We love it too.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah.
No, thank you.
Kelly (48:22):
I was gonna say, your family's super lucky to have
you, your extended family, yourstudents.
It's just amazing what you'redoing, Ben.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
And I'm just happy to spread theword and the one piece that I
wanna make sure that peopleunderstand is that just because
we have this thing calledaddiction, and just because
(48:43):
we're in recovery doesn't meanwe have to be boring.
All the people in recovery thatI hang out with, which is pretty
much everyone, they are allawesome human beings.
Yeah.
And we're all a little crazy.
And that's what makes usdifferent.
Yes.
And that's what makes usawesome.
So let's all embrace that.
Everybody loves a good, crazyperson.
Yep.
Tracey (49:04):
Hey, if you're a normal, it's boring.
Totally.
Yeah.
Anyways.
You are a huge inspiration, Ben.
We're so excited that we got tomeet you and that you came on to
share your story with us.
You are a super cool dude anddefinitely are making sobriety
cool for a lot of people.
All right, thank you.
(49:24):
Thank you so much.
Tell everybody where they canfind you where they can be
pointed to when your documentarydoes come out.
Ben (49:33):
Yeah, so my revamped website will be going live in
about a week.
It's swimtuff.com you'll be ableto get trailer and movie info
and all of that where I'm gonnabe, when I'm gonna be there for
all the festivals.
And if you do want to contactme, I'm more than happy to help
(49:54):
out in any way that I can andyou can always just reach out to
me on my Instagram at ben.tuff,or you can email me at
bentuff@gmail.com
Tracey (50:07):
amazing.
So we'll put all thatinformation in our show notes,
and you can also find us at LAFLife Podcast on Instagram and in
our LAF Life community onFacebook.
Thanks again, Ben.
It's been such a pleasure.
Until next time, everybody keeplaughing.
Kelly (50:27):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:26):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Tracey (00:42):
Hello everyone and welcome back to the LAF Life
podcast.
This is season two and episode18.
Tonight we have a guest joiningus, Ben Tuff and Ben actually
got introduced to us by anotherguest Kim Kerns, which is
awesome.
We love when we get to connectwith people in our sober
community and we are thankfulthat Kim made this connection
(01:05):
for us.
A little bit of what I'velearned about Ben so far.
Ben is a lifelong educator andhe is had the privilege of
working with boarding studentsacross the world.
He is here tonight to share withus an exciting project he's been
working on.
He has a documentary called SwimTuff, how I swam my way out of
(01:26):
the bottle that is going to bereleasing the spring.
And one of the things I foundinteresting about some of the
information Ben shared with mewas the fact that he has this
documentary around swimming andhow that helped him with his
sobriety.
Meanwhile, he grew up around theocean and has an appreciation
and love for it, but didn't knowhow to swim.
(01:47):
So I'm very excited to learnmore and find out how he came
about that and what thisdocumentary is all about.
Welcome Ben.
Thank you for joining us.
Ben (01:59):
Thank you very much for having me.
Let's start with yourrelationship with alcohol.
Ben, tell us a little bit aboutthat how it started and how it
led you to where you are.
Yeah, so it was pretty early inmy life I didn't start in vibing
in alcohol, but I was surroundedby it since pretty much birth,
I'm the youngest of six kids.
(02:20):
I grew up in a very traditionalEuropean family.
And it was if you want to tryit, go for it.
And both my parents prescribedto the idea of, if it's in our
house and we're aware of it,then, not to worry about it.
So I was I think it was age 13,I had a lot of anxiety growing
(02:45):
up and.
I was a big hypochondriac.
I was always worried that I hada malady of some sort, and it
was like musical illnesses forme and I was convinced I was
gonna die of cancer.
I think this might have stemmedfrom when I was in second grade,
one of my closest friends wasdiagnosed with bladder cancer
(03:07):
and had to have his bladderremoved.
And thankfully he recovered fromthat, but there were times that
we didn't think he was gonnamake it.
And I remember vividly afterthat thinking that I had bladder
cancer or then I had a braintumor or I had something else.
So I would take the anxietiesand the pieces of my life that
(03:28):
were most difficult and I wouldinternalize it and put it
somewhere in my body.
I was 13 when I found out I washaving what were panic attacks,
right?
And I went downstairs and it wasnear bedtime, probably eight 30
or nine at night.
And I said to my mom, I said,mom, I'm like sweating.
I'm gonna throw up.
(03:49):
You go to the hospital.
And she was like, no, you don't.
You're being silly.
This is all in your head.
She went into the other room andshe came out with a small little
shot of vodka and she said, justtake this and this'll calm your
inner turmoil and your nervesand you'll be able to sleep
fine.
And I never really drank muchuntil starting like 16.
(04:13):
17 when we reached our junioryear of high.
High school and then it was onyes, I just wanted to ask, when
you had that shot of vodka, whatwas of your reaction to it, or
what were your thoughts aroundit?
I thought it was disgusting.
But it worked.
Tracey (04:32):
Okay.
Okay.
You did have that sense of, oh,this made me feel better, At the
same time, it was something thatI was really fearful of, given
my.
Propensity to overanalyze myhealth and such.
And because I was playingcompetitive soccer, I was like,
I don't need alcohol.
I'm gonna steer away from this.
(04:52):
I don't care what my brothersand sisters do, I'm not quite
ready for this.
But again, once I was 16 or 17,it became a mainstay and I had a
lower self-esteem.
It's never easy to be anidentical twin, that presents a
different kind of self-imageissue.
You're always trying to not becompared with your twin brother,
(05:16):
but inevitably it happens everyday and every second of every
day.
And I hated it.
I hated every bit of it, but,Come the weekend time, I was the
partying one and I was the onewho was being social and I was
organizing all the gettogethers.
Even though it wasn't so much ofa problem of me abusing it, I
(05:38):
was definitely a binge drinker.
And all my friends that hung outwith me, we were all binge
drinkers and we continued thatall the way through college.
It wasn't until, about 14 yearsago that I really went down that
(05:58):
steep road of alcoholism andalcohol abuse I was
self-medicating for every excuseand every feeling that I had,
including the panic attacks andall that.
I knew that I would at leasthave a short respite from the
(06:19):
inner anguish that I felt.
I would go to the liquor storeand I would have already had the
$20 bill that I had gotten incash back from the supermarket,
because I didn't want my wife tofind out I was getting all this
cash.
And so I'd get the$20 bill, I'dput it in there.
I'd buy pine of vodka, I'd buytwo vitamin waters, and then I'd
(06:40):
drink the vitamin waters down tothe labels.
I'd fill it up with the vodka,and then I would convince myself
very easily, surprisingly easythat it was just, Vitamin water.
I was drinking on the way home.
Then I'd get home and I'd try tocover up the smell of alcohol by
drinking, a few more beers.
(07:01):
By that time I was prettyintoxicated and I'd just go to
bed and the daily kind ofrepertoire of all of that
started to take its tollmentally and physically.
And I just couldn't keep ittogether much, the hangovers and
the shakes, for three years Ipretty much was leading this
(07:25):
secret double life where I washiding all of this drinking.
Then that whole thing camehumbling down in a 24 hour
period of time.
Wow.
That's very interesting.
You've said a lot of thingsthere actually that are
interesting to me.
I am curious about the anxietyand even the hypochondriac.
(07:51):
Have you dolled into that alittle more?
Were those two things directlyrelated?
Like the anxiety was due to thefact that you were always
worried about your health and.
Ben (08:02):
Yeah, it wasn't until I went to rehab and I went to
Silver Hill Hospital inConnecticut, I had, and
currently have a wonderfulpsychiatrist who explained it
all to me.
I was diagnosed with bipolardisorder, so no one ever, I'd
never been to a psychiatristbefore.
Or seen anybody or a therapistor anything like that.
(08:24):
So the anxieties I felt wasactually a cause of, or the
result of depression and the waythat my brain manifested the low
feelings, I, in turn justinternalized all that as a
malady of some sort.
(08:44):
And was just a habit for me,fixate on those little things in
myself that might have been abigger issue.
Tracey (08:56):
Wow.
That must have been so hardgrowing up with that your whole
life and not realizing what itwas.
Not only that I found what yousaid about your twin really
interesting I don't know a lotof people that are twins and
I've never heard that kind ofperspective on it.
But I can understand that musthave been challenging.
When you're an identical twinand you pretty much have, the
(09:19):
exact identical of you and thecomparison and everything else.
I can see how that could cause alot of internal struggle.
Chris and I we got along great.
It was just in the eyes ofeveryone else.
It was a constant struggle totry to find our own identities.
It's difficult enough.
And after doing this forteaching for 21 years I've
learned that it's so difficultfor middle schoolers and young
(09:44):
high schoolers to figure out whothey really are and how they
show that.
If you throw in someone wholooks exactly like you and you
both are trying to go on thesame path and you're very
similar, but at the same timeyou're struggling to separate it
makes it that much moredifficult.
Yeah, definitely to beindividuals.
(10:05):
Or feel like you're individuals.
Yeah.
That's really interesting,right?
As far as the drinking went,maybe go back to that.
Sorry, I interrupted, but youtouched on a few things that I
thought were pretty importantand interesting there.
Yeah, so it was a panic attackthat brought me to the
Torrington Hospital, which wasnot a nice hospital by any
(10:28):
means.
I arrived there and I was in thetriage room my wife had taken me
there, it was 1130 in themorning and we're literally
waiting in there for an hour anda half, two hours.
And I'm like, what's going on?
Why is this taking so long?
And I said to the nurse, what'staking so long?
And she said we have to wait foryour blood alcohol.
(10:50):
Limit or, blood alcohol contentto get below the legal limit for
us to admit you here.
And so I looked over at my wifeand, my heart hit my stomach and
I was like, I'm dis like it'sall up.
Everything is out there now.
I'm done.
And I said, okay, let's go.
I'm gonna rehab.
I'm ready to go.
(11:10):
I have a problem.
This is a serious issue.
I know that you have lots ofquestions, but I'm ready for
rehab.
And that afternoon I ended upgoing into detox.
I did like a seven or eight daydetox in Torrington Hospital as
we waited for a bed to open updown at the, rehab.
And I went in there like readyto.
(11:33):
Go.
I was like, let's do this.
in the beginning there were afew people who came up.
They were like, what are you sohappy about?
I was like, I'm so happy to befinally figuring out my life and
to getting to the bottom of allthese problems.
So was your wife shocked?
Was she in shock or did she knowwhat was going on and, so I
(11:55):
didn't know that she had myprimary care physician call
ahead and order all those testsjust to see what was up.
And, once they saw the liverfunction and the blood alcohol
content, it was like, okay,that's definitely what it's
been.
You.
There's no way that I could goagainst what the doctors are
saying.
And if they needed that asammunition.
(12:16):
I'd been caught before withlittle things like having
alcohol or having beers hiddenor trying to hide them in the
past.
So it wasn't a great surprisebut me being inebriated after 12
hours, more than 12 hours, 14hours I think that was still a
(12:37):
little bit of a shock as it wasto me, because I definitely
didn't feel it, and I feltawful.
When you went into detox, didyou have a lot of withdrawal
symptoms?
Ben (12:48):
Yeah.
I didn't have any of the dts,but they put me on a pretty
hefty dose of benzos to taper medown.
I think I was on a six day taperand I still had, weird voices
and not visions, but just sorestless, couldn't sleep.
(13:08):
I remember how excited I was thefourth day we finally had my
appetite back cuz it had been solong since I was properly
hungry.
Something.
Wow.
It was like chicken parmesan orsomething really gross chicken
Parmesan and was just like, wow.
Like I'm actually really excitedabout eating this and I ate the
(13:30):
whole thing.
And prior to that, it wasn'treally much, much eating.
And I was 163 pounds when I wasadmitted to Torrington.
And now after the swimming andafter everything, I'm usually
about two 10 to two 15.
That was, I was sick.
I looked sick and my body wastelling me I was sick, but I
(13:52):
didn't know how to listen to it.
Kelly (13:53):
How old were you at this point, Ben?
So that was 11 years ago.
So 32 no wait.
31.
If you don't mind me asking,between you and your wife, did
it ever come up like you needto.
Get yourself together.
I want you to quit drinking,like all that.
Okay.
Yeah, I was just curious aboutthat.
Oh yeah.
I would do sober January andRight.
(14:15):
I would take a month off here,take a month off there and be
like, yeah, see, I don't needit.
I'm good.
Yeah.
And it was always a pretty slowdownfall.
Like it would just go, and thenthose last two weeks, it would
always a precipitous fall.
Tracey (14:31):
So you went from detox into a rehab?
Yes.
So I went to a 28 day rehab.
I ended up staying there forjust over that.
I did 35 days because I justneeded one more week to get
ready.
And also since I was, I lived ata boarding school and I lived
(14:51):
with all the students.
It was too much for me to goback and answer all these
questions.
About, what I was going throughand what I discovered about
myself.
So I waited until right aftergraduation to return.
So did the kids know, like atthe end of the day, I'm sure
your coworkers knew somethingobviously, cuz he had to be,
(15:12):
where's Ben?
Did it come out and did it comeout in the context of I'm gonna
do something with this in apositive.
Ben (15:19):
Yeah.
So all the teachers knew and Itold my wife, I said just tell
them like I don't have anythingto hide.
For the kids, I wasn't sure ofwhere to go.
On my fourth day, it was a rainyday and I'm getting off the bus
for dinner.
And as I'm walking down, I hearsomeone yell, Mr Tuff, and I
(15:39):
look, I'm like, Caroline.
She's Mr.
Tuff.
What are you doing here?
And I was like I'm probably herefor the same reason you're here.
And literally, I taught her forthe last two and a half years.
And we're talking about when youran into, Treatment at, so yeah,
at treatment.
Oh, wow.
But it was actually quite coolbecause we would have meals
(16:00):
together and hang out and wewere very open and we said to
each other let's just keep thisbetween us.
And no one has to know you'rehere and they don't have to know
that I'm here.
But over that summer, it's nicebeing a teacher in recovery
because I had three months tojust concentrate on myself.
And Right.
I did my 90 and 90 and I wasvery religious about my
(16:26):
recovery.
And in that process I started tothink about who I wanted to be.
And I said, you know what?
I never in my whole life hadanybody in recovery that I knew
that was normal and that wasfun, that could do really cool
(16:48):
things.
So I'm gonna let these kidsknow.
They need to know that I'm inrecovery.
This is my experience, this ismy journey, so that if something
does come up, they'll at leasthave me to go to.
As I say this I took one of myformer students who I taught
seventh through ninth grade.
I took him to rehab.
(17:12):
Grab him from rehab on Tuesdayand bring him to another three
month program in Arizona.
Yeah.
And he said, I don't want anyoneelse taking me.
I don't wanna see my mom.
I don't wanna see my dad.
I just want Ben to take me.
I trust him.
I talked to him three times aday and I wouldn't be here if it
(17:33):
wasn't for him.
So let's just make that journeytogether.
And I was like, let's do it.
Let's go.
Wow.
It'll be a fun experience doingthat together.
Kelly (17:44):
Just for the listeners who may not know what 90 and 90
is
Ben (17:47):
Oh yeah.
So it's, it's 90 meetings and 90days I am a big fan of whatever
works for you.
I'm not, you have to do aa.
That's the only way to go cuzthere are so many other
approaches to sobriety that canbe successful.
For me, AA has workedunbelievably well and I'm also a
(18:10):
little bit more of atraditionalist.
So for that student I wastalking about, he could not
stand aa, so we're of likeshopping around a little bit and
he enjoyed two visits to smartrecovery and we're looking at
maybe going that route, but inthe end as I talk to people who
are either seeking recovery orin recovery, it's all about just
(18:35):
finding people like you.
You need to have Absolutely.
You need to have that supportnetwork and that support network
can't be your buddies from highschool or college or of random
people who you think understandyou really well or a therapist.
(18:56):
Yeah.
That's part of the whole puzzlethat we have to put together.
But at the center of it are thepeople that you surround
yourself with in recovery?
So true.
That's come up on the podcast afew times with, friends and
family can be supportive, but wecan't expect them to understand
(19:18):
what addiction is if they'venever struggled with it
themselves.
So having that connection toother, like you said, other
people just like us is what'simportant.
Yeah.
And it's so easy now yes, I doenjoy an in-person meeting a lot
better than an online meeting,but there's sometimes that we're
(19:40):
just limited and we just need ameeting right away of some sort
where, whatever that might be.
And it's just a click away.
Even I still use my sponsorfrom.
Silver Hill that I had 11 yearsago that was supposed to be my
temporary sponsor for my timethere.
(20:01):
And he's actually the one whogot me into swimming to begin
with.
I still talk to him on a weeklybasis not to sound like I have
it all together, but because nowI'm working with so many
students, parents, friends whoare either in recovery or
looking for recovery, sometimesI just need a sounding board and
(20:22):
saying is, am I doing the rightthing here?
Ken, can I do this?
Or is this really bad?
And I think I actually lean onhim the most for unbiased view
of my family.
And I'm one of eight, includingmy parents and now there are
only two drinkers left.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
I I was curious about that.
(20:43):
Yeah.
I was the first one to get whatI needed, and then soon after
the others fell in line.
Yeah.
Because they were strugglingwith addiction or just because
it wasn't serving them orvarious Yes.
Anyone who says addiction is nota genetic disorder should study
our family because I think we'rea pretty good testament to it.
(21:07):
To the whole idea that, we docarry whatever gene that is.
And maybe it's nature, maybeit's nurture, who knows.
But there were, all of us neededthat help.
Tracey (21:20):
I can relate to that, Ben.
I had a lot of alcoholism in myfamily, and actually after I
quit, my mom quit and then mybrother and his partner quit
too.
So we only have two drinkersleft in our family too, and they
have healthy relationships withalcohol, so that's okay so far.
Yeah, it's interesting how thathappens, but it's a wonderful
(21:41):
thing.
Ben (21:41):
And that one took me by surprise because I knew that I
was always leading by example inmy life as a teacher and as a
coach and as an advisor and allthat.
But I never thought that I wouldbe leading by example for my
family members.
Oh, that's cool.
I thought I was an outcast and Ithought I was an exception.
(22:02):
And yeah, they said,congratulations, I'm so proud of
you.
But the way they really showedhow proud they were of me, Was
the day that they gave upalcohol.
Kelly (22:11):
That's cool.
So what are your family gettogethers like now?
I'm sure very different.
It's so funny, we used to haveto get extra blue recycling bins
that went out the back door.
Because it was just mayhem andbetween wine and beer and
everything.
And now we have two bluerecycling bins and they're all
(22:39):
full of seltzer water.
All of them.
And it's sure that the recyclingguy who comes by was like,
there's been a drastic change inthis household over the last few
years.
Oh, that's funny.
That's awesome.
I remember when we changed whereI live, we changed to the taller
(22:59):
bins with the lids.
The ones that you roll out onwheels.
And I remember when we changedbeing like, oh, thank God nobody
can see all my wine bottlesanymore because I hated putting
those bins.
Yeah.
We had extra bins lots of times.
Ben (23:10):
Yeah.
It is the kind of walk of shame.
Yeah.
When I used to run a lot on thepickup days, I used to be like
problem.
Okay.
They're okay.
They might have a problem orthey had a party.
But I try not to judge as muchas I can.
Tracey (23:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mike, you had a question forBen?
Mike (23:30):
No, I was gonna say when you went back to work obviously
it's a big change in your life.
Were you met with any resistancefrom say superiors to say, Hey,
don't share your story with thekids cuz we're not sure about
how to do you understand whatI'm getting at?
They all said not to.
I think the excuse in thebeginning was, be sick.
(23:53):
They're gonna see that you drankso much, but then you could be
okay afterwards.
Yeah.
That's the message that you'resending them.
And I said, no, it's it's notreally that.
Yeah.
It's that if you have an issuewith anything, you can ask for
help and get that help and thenend up leading a much better
(24:16):
life as a result of it.
What was the turnaround time forthem to say, okay, do it your
way.
See, that's how I I roll adifferent way than most people.
I just do it anyway.
Alright.
So I just for forgiveness typeof approach, I did it anyway.
It actually took, so about threemonths in, I had some students
(24:41):
approach me about their motherwho had just gone away to rehab
and they didn't understand itand they beneficial.
So I started taking thosestudents to all meetings.
Oh, Oh.
So it was at that point that theheadmaster said, Ben, keep it
up.
This is a really cool thing thatyou have.
(25:02):
Oh, thank you.
Great for waking up.
Yeah.
They employ you.
As a person who's been educatedin hair teach what we want you
to teach these kids.
But it's like the human elementis I'm using my damn instincts
to share myself, not only as ateacher, but as a human to say
trust me that I'm gonna teachthese kids the right thing.
(25:25):
Good for you.
I think that's amazing.
For me, when I became a teacher,I became a teacher because my
middle school teachers werehorrible.
They talked down on me all thetime.
I had no motivation.
And I made a rule for myselfthat when I worked with kids,
that I would always talk to themas grown human beings and I
wouldn't never talk down onthem.
(25:47):
And that's why when I talk tokids and when I work with kids
about issues like addiction, Ican get a lot more feedback from
them.
I can get them more engaged thanyour parent or an average person
(26:09):
trying to really talk aboutthese tough subjects.
Because you have to make it tothe point, like having the birds
and the bees talk.
If you're gonna be awkward aboutit, it's going to be even more
awkward for the kids.
Yeah.
But if you're able to be real,if you're able to really show
(26:31):
what will protect the kidsmoving forward for the rest of
their lives and get that messagethrough, then it's all
worthwhile, right?
That's awesome.
Sorry, trace, I know you'regonna get into the next episode
of what he's doing with his lifenow, but my last question is
there any contact or have youkept in touch with the student
(26:51):
that you did treatment with?
Did you say her name wasCaroline Or Caroline?
Caroline.
Caroline.
So I'm Facebook friends withher.
She's sober and she lives in NewYork City.
Just a product of a very wealthyhousehold.
And she's working in the fashionindustry, making dresses and
doing fashion shows.
(27:12):
So she's doing great.
She didn't go the traditionalroute of, she got her, I think
she just got her diploma or theequivalent of Never went to
fashion school, never went tocollege.
And yet she has found greatsuccess.
It's always reassuring to knowthat a 14 year old or a kid who
(27:34):
goes to get help that early intheir life Wow.
That they can continue down apositive path.
So she was 14 at that point.
Wow.
Yep.
Tracey (27:46):
And she stayed sober, so That's amazing.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Awesome.
So yes, tell us about yoursponsor.
Who inspired the rest of yourjourney?
I think
Ben (28:01):
It was funny because it was the third day we had our weekly
or our daily assignments atSilver Hill and was like, read
this much of the big book orread this and write in your
journal.
And on the third day I see thatmy assignment is you must go to
the early aa, the early bird andyou must come home with a
sponsor that you're gonna talkto every day.
(28:22):
And I was like, holy, I gottafind some complete stranger that
I'm gonna just totally open upto.
This is so awkward.
So I walk into that meeting inNew Canan and there are like 80
people in there, and I felt likeI was going on a speed dating
excursion of some sort.
And I'm like, who am I gonnaask?
(28:43):
It was mostly men.
So it, it's not like I couldnarrow out the women.
And then I heard this guy, Ken,start to speak and my roommate,
who had already finished maybethree weeks at the rehab, he
came to me and he said, are yougonna pick a sponsor?
I said, yeah.
I was like, how do I pick one?
He said, you need to pick theperson who's gonna really hold
(29:06):
you accountable and is gonna getyou through the steps and is
gonna do everything possible to.
Make sure that you build thatfoundation strong enough so that
you never relapse or even thinkabout it.
And I said, okay, so I need tofind someone serious and someone
who I can get along with.
And this guy Ken comes up and hehad a rich Irish accent and he
(29:30):
was in no nonsense.
He then started to talk about atriathlon that he recently
raced.
And I'm like, cool.
That's cool.
He ended up doing a triathlonand he talked about how he
learned how to swim and I waslike, oh my gosh.
Maybe I could be a triathletewhen I'm done with this place.
So I went up to him after ameeting and I said, Ken, can I
(29:50):
Ask you a question would you bemy sponsor while I'm here and
just my temporary sponsor?
And do you think that I couldlearn how to swim in a short
period of time so that I couldmaybe do a triathlon, a short
triathlon by the end of thesummer?
And he was like, yeah, I'll beyour sponsor.
I'd love to be your sponsor andyou definitely can learn how to
(30:12):
swim now at the time, I didn'trealize that Ken I only found
this out when I was talking inRy New York to a group of
individuals.
Ken and I did a question andanswer together, and I asked Ken
what he first thought of me whenI was in at, in rehab, and he
thought I was, he said, Ithought you were an obnoxious
(30:33):
prick Who thought he kneweverything.
I was like, Oh, so that's who Iwas going up and approaching and
asking to be my sponsor.
Was this guy who didn't evenlike me, and yet he still said,
yeah, he'll sponsor me, which issuch a cool thing.
And literally I jumped in thepool the day after I got back
(30:55):
from Silver Hill, and I would golike half the length of the pool
on doing crawl, sidestrokebackstroke all together,
breaststroke.
And then I'd make it to the endand I'd do four lengths.
And I was like, that's enoughfor the day.
This is gonna be brutal.
But by the end of the summer,about two months later, I could
(31:16):
swim a good, I wouldn't call itfast, but I could do about a
half mile at a time.
And I did my first triathlon Ithink for me.
And I was like, let's do thisand that next summer I did 11
triathlons, and then the nextsummer I did 15.
So it was just off and running.
(31:38):
And I was a good triathlete Iwas in the top 10% in the US and
I went to nationals, I wasn'tthe best.
So just like with the alcoholismrunning in the family, so does
competitiveness, and I know thatgrowing up my parents loved the
fact that the tough family neverlost to anything.
(32:01):
And so I took that into myindividual pursuit of triathlon
and I would go to the start lineand I would look at everybody's
calves and I would see who wasin my age group.
And I'd be like, I'm gonna beatyou.
I'm gonna beat you, I'm gonnabeat you and it's gonna be done
and I can't wait.
And I said, At the end of one ofthese races when, I probably got
second or third, that wasusually where I ended up because
(32:23):
some guy would just be so fastand I wouldn't have a chance,
and I would be like, why am Idoing this?
I realized that I wasn't doingit for myself anymore.
I wasn't doing it for the joy ofit, I was just doing it for
winning.
It was at that point that I madethe decision just to switch to
(32:46):
swimming.
I signed up for a two mile raceand it was relatively easy and I
did relatively well.
And I was like, if I can do twomiles, I can do anything.
And then I did that next summer.
I did a 12 and a half mile racearound Key West and raised money
for my school, the school that Iworked at.
(33:08):
And then I was like 12 and ahalf miles.
That was a five hour swim.
That wasn't bad.
And then I did a swim aroundJamestown, Rhode Island.
And to bring in another kindaelement, I decided to raise
money for a nonprofitenvironmental group called Clean
(33:30):
Ocean Access, which I'm now thepresident of.
We raised money for cleanups andeducation and testing water
quality and composting.
When I first did it, I did itjust because I didn't wanna back
out.
I had to hold myselfaccountable.
(33:52):
If I had 450 people giving moneyand resources to my swim to help
benefit clean ocean access,there's no way I was backing
out.
So I raised$55,000 that firstyear and did the 21 mile swim.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then I was like, let's upthe ante a little bit.
(34:12):
And I did a swim.
The next swim was from BlockIsland to Jamestown, that was 19
miles of open ocean.
The tough part of that one wasthat it was through the biggest
breeding ground of great whitesharks in all of the East coast.
I had to keep that intoperspective and I was able to
(34:34):
raise$102,000.
And then the final one, which iswhat the movie Swim Tuff is
about, was from Providence,Rhode Islands.
All the way down to Jamestown,which was the whole length of
Narragansett Bay.
So I became the first person todo both of those swims and the
(34:56):
only person to have done thosetwo swims ever.
And to me, I was like, that'scool.
I'm doing that all by myself.
I'm doing that on my own, and noone can really get in the way of
that.
I'm also doing it for a greatcause.
But more than that, my journeyas I soon found out through this
(35:17):
movie, my journey in andswimming has mirrored my journey
in sobriety to a whole notherlevel.
If you think of how muchattention.
We pay on ourselves during ourown time, during the swimming
process.
There are some weeks that I willbe in the water, 20 to 25 hours.
(35:42):
All of that time I spend in myown mind and I know that a lot
of people don't want to gothere, but now I actually look
forward to it cuz it's my time.
I can process, I can connectwith my higher power, I can be
mindful of my surroundings andpractice mindfulness and it's
such a cool experience.
(36:05):
At the same time, I'm not agreat swimmer.
my technique isn't perfect, itisn't that good, but in the end
it doesn't matter.
It's all about just staying inthat moment and being able to,
Process and push through thecraziest mental and physical
(36:27):
barriers that will ever get inyour mind or on your body.
Through that perseverance, youlearn a lot about who you really
are.
Said.
Yeah.
Incredible.
Do you have any kids, Ben?
Yes.
I have two.
You can probably hear them inthe background.
I have a 16 year old son namedWyatt and a 13 year old named
(36:52):
Maisie.
So Wyatt would've been say underthe age of six when you were
going through those?
Yes.
Yeah.
So it was, so we were down inAtlanta a few weeks ago they
don't like cameras and they'renot like on the DL and they
didn't wanna get an interview,but they finally said they would
get interview down in Atlantawith our producer.
(37:13):
And I snuck around the cornerand listened to what they were
saying.
And wouldn't, Wyatt was sayingMaisie doesn't remember any of
it.
And why?
I was like, I just remembergoing to see my dad at this
place that like, was like acamp.
It was like so cool that Iwanted to go there.
And I would say that thetoughest phone call that I think
(37:34):
probably ever had was about fourdays.
I told my wife just to gimme alittle bit of time to get
settled and I didn't wanna gethomesick, so gimme four days to
talk and I ended up talking toher.
I was so excited.
I was like, I'm doing awesome.
I got this new sponsor named Keneverything is going well.
This is just so great.
(37:54):
I'm concentrating on myself.
And he was, she was like, oh,really?
Everything's great here too.
Your son Wyatt is finally notacting out and is calm and cool.
And he no longer is having thoselittle tantrums that he had.
Yeah.
And he's no longer affected byyour crazy behavior.
And of course like that burst mybubble and brought me down to
(38:17):
earth and I just started cryingand I couldn't even keep it
together.
I had to hang up and.
That's the truth.
And that's what I needed to hearbecause a lot of times we forget
about the wreckage that we leavebehind and I'm just thankful and
fortunate to have been able torepair a lot of what went on and
(38:39):
also earn back that trust.
And earning back that trust wasthe hardest.
I would say the two hardestthings for me in sobriety was
earning back trust and finding asocial group and making friends
again because I was just lost.
And it actually wasn.
Until I started triathlon and Igot in this cool network of
(39:02):
triathletes that I started tomake friends again.
And it's, those are the peoplewho I surround myself on those
crazy swims and they're thesupport people and the trust
piece as Ken told me, he waslike, trust has to come with
time.
Yeah.
You have to prove it.
You have to earn it.
It was like six months into mysobriety and we had all signed
(39:26):
up for a 5K run just for fun.
I got the stomach bug and I wasthrowing up all night and my
wife comes in so angry at meand.
how can you do this?
How can you do this to me again?
And she thought I was drinkingagain.
I was like, I'm not I reallyhave a stomach bug.
(39:47):
So I called Ken, I was like,Ken, what do I do?
I'm like, I'm not doing anythingwrong.
He said, what are you gonna do?
You did this to yourself, sothat's just gonna take time.
You're gonna have to earn itback.
And you'll know when it's there,but it doesn't come overnight.
I have to say Tracey she sharedthe clip what do you call it?
Trailer.
Trailer.
The trailer.
Thank you.
Yeah.
She shared the trailer for thedocumentary and I did watch it
(40:10):
just the one time.
And I thought your story wasreally cool.
And now I have loved hearingmore of it tonight, but one
thing that really stuck out forme was how proud your wife is of
you.
And, she speaks of it in thetrailer, but just also I think
there's a clip or two of herwatching you just where she's
not speaking and just the prideit's beautiful.
(40:30):
I noticed it.
Yeah.
No, I'm very lucky to have and Ithink for me it's so important
to remind myself from familymembers to, my close knit family
and friends.
We have to rely on those peopleon a daily basis.
And it is only through difficulttimes that you learn to create
(40:59):
such.
Unbelievable bonds.
And I can very easily say that Iwish I wasn't this way and I
wish I could drink like a normalhuman being, or I wish I didn't
have bipolar, or I wish this,but there isn't a second that
goes by that I'm not thankful tobe exactly who I am to have
experienced everything that Ihave experienced.
(41:22):
Because in my mind I now get tomake this really cool film and
make a mark on the world in aspace that has been not ventured
in too much.
Most of the addiction films outthere are like how addiction is
taught in a school.
And it's if you do this, youwill die or you'll end up like
(41:42):
this person.
But you know what, you mightjust be like me and.
As a result of your journey insobriety, you might just found
out that you can do some reallycool stuff.
That's awesome.
That's so amazing.
You have the uniqueness toimpact a lot of people given
what you do for your career withchildren and teaching it's truth
(42:05):
be told, it's a lot differentthan, someone like me who's just
a, not just a, but I have abusiness that I sell things,
whereas you have this directcontact with people and one of
the reasons why I do this withthe ladies is that it helps me
grow as a person.
Just like you said, yourexperience has helped you grow
as a person.
(42:26):
Bravo to you and man I can'twait to watch that documentary
cuz I don't watch movies, but Isure as hell watch
documentaries.
That's what I'm known for.
So it's top of my list, So it'sactually pretty funny that you
say that cuz I can't wait to seeit either.
I've seen the rough draft, but Iwill see everything other than
the music added tomorrow nightand Oh, wow.
(42:50):
I talked to the, yeah, I talkedto the editor earlier today.
She's I hope you don't mind, I'mnot gonna get it to you on time.
I was like, Jen, I usually go tobed at eight 30, so I have this
podcast and then I'm going rightto bed.
Don't worry about it.
No rush.
We're all good.
Mike (43:06):
The blue bins are gonna be full of seltzers.
Ben (43:09):
Exactly.
Tracey (43:12):
When's it gonna be released?
Ben, when do you think so?
I'm hoping that it will the guyswho are doing our music art
phenomenal.
One of them played in a bandcalled The Mighty, mighty
Bostons.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
And then the other guy was theproducer for Avril Levine and
all this crazy stuff, and theyhave been waiting for the
(43:35):
perfect documentary to cometogether and do something.
Wow.
So I sent them the rough draftand they're like, we found it.
This is.
We're gonna do this.
And they're just as excited as Iam about making the music to the
movie.
They're like, as soon as we getthat next draft on Wednesday,
it's back to the studio andwe're gonna bang it out in two
weeks.
So it'll be done in about twoweeks.
(43:55):
Then we'll go to color, get thatall done.
And we're really looking atthree weeks from now it being
released, but it's like a softrelease as I will be going
around to different filmfestivals to of promote it, show
it off, yeah.
And promote it.
Hopefully get some distributiongoing from, like a Netflix or
(44:20):
Amazon or something like that.
Get them to pick it up.
So make sure you let us go so wecan tell.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yes, I will.
So I have a question.
In your opinion, do you thinkthat people have more success in
sobriety when they find theirswimming or whatever it is?
Ben (44:42):
Yes, without a doubt.
I always tell people to findtheir passion if they haven't
already, and if they havealready found their passion in
life, then they need toconcentrate a little harder on
it, cuz they're gonna have aheck of a lot more time to work
on it.
But again, there's so many otherthings that we can try new in
(45:02):
our lives so I'm starting towork with people who are in
sobriety and in recovery and arekind of stunt.
So these are mostly long term,anywhere from 10 to 20 years of
recovery, and they just feellike they're stuck in the mud.
(45:23):
I help them find that missingpiece, to jumpstart that
recovery for themselves and toallow them to be excited about
something again, because that'swhat it's all about.
It's not always gonna beathletic although staying active
and doing something for yourbody is also doing something for
(45:45):
your mind and so important, andI did a talk down in Austin,
Texas to a group of thesegentlemen and they come in and
they're just like drinking sodasthe whole time and smoking
cigarettes one after another.
And they're like, I don'tunderstand, why I feel so bad
about myself.
I was like, wait a minute, areyou serious?
(46:07):
There are three of them that Iwill text every other day and
I'll say, okay, how's yourworkout going?
How are you walking your two orthree miles?
Or have you jumped into a poolin the last couple days and done
some laps?
And if not, then what's holdingyou back?
And they just need a little bitof an, accountability coach of
sorts to get them rebooted.
(46:30):
Love it.
Yeah.
That's great.
So you do that on the side typeof thing?
Or is this part of you being asponsor in theory?
Yeah, so that was a Y P O groupthat I ended up speaking to in
Texas.
They flew me down to be a kindof resource and to tell my story
and message.
(46:50):
But I'm starting or will startto do more with rehab centers
and by telling my story andhelping individuals find what is
gonna be my triathlon, what isgoing to be my swimming, what am
I gonna do for myself?
You're type stuff in the.
Exactly.
(47:10):
But yeah, so I'm actually goingdown to University of Georgia.
I'm speaking at a few of thefraternities down there, and my
twin brother was like, you'regoing into the belly of the
beast.
I hope you're ready for that.
Those guys are crazy.
And I was like, I know.
And that's why I'm so excited.
That's what I want.
It's like my advisory groupsused to always be like the
island of misfits because I hadthe most ridiculous kids in
(47:34):
there possible.
I took all the kids that no oneelse really wanted and yet I
knew that I would be able tofind some front to connect with
them and help them on their way.
And if I just get through to oneof those guys in those
fraternities, then you know thatword will pass on.
I think for me, if I had a morepositive figure in my life of
(47:57):
someone who was in sobriety thanI knew of, then it would've made
that jump a little easier andmaybe a little earlier in my
life.
But yeah.
Mike (48:07):
Now here you are and you're doing great things for
not only you, but your familyand many others.
I hope so.
And I love it.
So it's about finding passion.
Awesome.
We love it too.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah.
No, thank you.
Kelly (48:22):
I was gonna say, your family's super lucky to have
you, your extended family, yourstudents.
It's just amazing what you'redoing, Ben.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
And I'm just happy to spread theword and the one piece that I
wanna make sure that peopleunderstand is that just because
we have this thing calledaddiction, and just because
(48:43):
we're in recovery doesn't meanwe have to be boring.
All the people in recovery thatI hang out with, which is pretty
much everyone, they are allawesome human beings.
Yeah.
And we're all a little crazy.
And that's what makes usdifferent.
Yes.
And that's what makes usawesome.
So let's all embrace that.
Everybody loves a good, crazyperson.
Yep.
Tracey (49:04):
Hey, if you're a normal, it's boring.
Totally.
Yeah.
Anyways.
You are a huge inspiration, Ben.
We're so excited that we got tomeet you and that you came on to
share your story with us.
You are a super cool dude anddefinitely are making sobriety
cool for a lot of people.
All right, thank you.
(49:24):
Thank you so much.
Tell everybody where they canfind you where they can be
pointed to when your documentarydoes come out.
Ben (49:33):
Yeah, so my revamped website will be going live in
about a week.
It's swimtuff.com you'll be ableto get trailer and movie info
and all of that where I'm gonnabe, when I'm gonna be there for
all the festivals.
And if you do want to contactme, I'm more than happy to help
(49:54):
out in any way that I can andyou can always just reach out to
me on my Instagram at ben.tuff,or you can email me at
bentuff@gmail.com
Tracey (50:07):
amazing.
So we'll put all thatinformation in our show notes,
and you can also find us at LAFLife Podcast on Instagram and in
our LAF Life community onFacebook.
Thanks again, Ben.
It's been such a pleasure.
Until next time, everybody keeplaughing.
Kelly (50:27):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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