May 29, 2023 • 49 mins
In this episode meet Caroline Barrett, Recovery Sober Coach. Caroline has been sober 7 yrs and shares her struggles with alcohol abuse and how subconsciously she always knew one day she would never drink again. After attending an enlightening AA meeting with her brother and then losing her close friend to addiction, Caroline promised to create a life committed to helping others get on their path to sobriety. Caroline now has a business as a certified Sober Coach offering a variety of services through Sober Me, some of the services she provides include recovery assistance, counselling and companionship services.
Find out more at: https://www.soberme.ca/
Or follow Caroline on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soberme.ca/?next=%2F
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:02):
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:25):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Mike (00:42):
Welcome everybody to the LAF Life podcast, episode 21.
Today we have a special guest.
Caroline Barrett is joining usto talk about a few things.
One being her life withoutalcohol and some of the things
she does related to that.
Hi everybody.
Lindsey (01:00):
Hey, Mike.
You're welcome.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome, Caroline.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Mike (01:06):
Yeah, we've known each other indirectly through mutual
friends, but probably over thelast say five years.
And yeah, we've had some goodconversations about Alcohol
versus non alcohol.
And when we got involved withthe podcast, you were one of the
people that I thought of, cuz wehad some, pretty good
conversations about it.
You were probably one of thefirst people that I ever
(01:27):
encountered that was living alife of out alcohol.
And I thought, is that actuallya thing?
So why don't you start off bytelling us a little bit about
yourself, but maybe we'll startwith when was the first time you
had a drink or got involved withdrinking in general?
Caroline (01:45):
Okay, so I am a recovery coach now.
I started drinking when I was14.
I drink beer.
I hated beer.
I hated the smell of it, tasteof it, everything.
But I drank beer and I rememberit was Coors Light, and I'm not
very big.
I'm five three.
At that point, I was weighingabout 103 pounds.
So it took half a bottle for meto get drunk.
(02:07):
And I think I had two, twobottles.
I remember it being, I liked theout of, not the out of control
part, but I liked being able toact as a different person in a
sense.
I fell in love with that part ofit.
So that was my first timedrinking.
Like I said, it was like twobottles, maybe two and a half
bottles, and then I was done.
(02:28):
And I just fell in love with it,even though I hated beer.
I hated the smell.
I hate it today.
I hate the smell of it.
I hate all of it, but I just Ifell in love with the feeling
of.
Not being sober.
That started back then.
And then I would drink with myfriends.
It wasn't like, all of a suddenI was addicted.
It took time, right?
(02:49):
But we'd go out, we didn't haveanything to do.
We were teenagers.
We'd go out and we'd go like ina park and go and drink coolers
or go and of course I lovecoolers cause I love sugar.
So it was, I was addicted tothat.
I loved the sugar, the taste ofit, and how I felt and how I
acted because I felt moreconfident in myself at that
point.
I was young, so I literally tooklike a drink so little and I
(03:14):
would be drunk and everyonewould say to me, oh, you're so
funny.
When you're drinking, you're somore outgoing when you're
drinking.
So I thought this was a greatthing, and then I started
drinking like Mickey's rum.
I got into this rum and cokekind of phase.
And I drank like a quarter ofthat and I would be drunk and
then that would last me forquite a bit of time, cause we'd
(03:34):
only drink on the weekends andstuff like that.
And I don't know if anybody elsereally was in the same spot that
I was.
I always wanted to escape,that's probably the right word
to say.
Escape from who I was.
It slowly progressed from there.
I had come from a family my daddrank socially.
My mom never really drank, butmy mom's brother was an
alcoholic.
He actually, essentially, hedied of alcoholism.
(03:56):
He died of cancer, but he was analcoholic right?
To the end.
And and then there's like mydad's side of the family, he's
adopted, but we just found hisbiological family.
I'm thinking that maybe theremight have been addiction in
that part too.
Both my brother and I drankquite a bit.
And I think that's where I gotit from, in a sense that I just,
it was in my blood, it was moreof a weekend kind of thing and
(04:16):
I'd crave it even during theweek.
And then eventually I startedworking in the bar, and that's
when I got way different, wholeother level.
Then it got to every night andthen drunk every night, not
just, oh, let's just have onedrink or two drinks.
It was continuous, getting drunkyour friends all work in the
bar, right?
So your friends work in the bar,everyone's drinking, everyone's
(04:36):
laughing at all the stuff youdid the night before.
I was right in there.
Yeah, that's how it became ahabit.
I became a habitual drinkerright from working in the bar.
From that point on, my thingthen was spin off ice and those
things have 9% alcohol.
I think it's, or something like,it's a large amount of alcohol
in there.
So I'd have 2, 3, 4 a night, ifnot way more than that if we
(04:59):
were going out and I was drunkand then it just became every
night thing that I just kept ongoing.
And then from there it justprogressed even worse.
I recognized it probably about21, 22 when I lived in
Vancouver.
And I was rearranging my entirelife I was going to college out
in Vancouver and be done school,and then I'd wanna go shopping
(05:19):
at the mall.
And then I'd think to myself,oh, I need to go home and have a
glass of wine or a Smirnoff icebefore I go to the mall.
I knew then I had a problem.
I knew, but I was still doingit.
And then I would drink three orfour drinks a night.
This is when I was in Vancouverand I would get up for school
the next morning and I wouldtake a shower and I would scrub
(05:40):
the alcohol off my body cuz Ididn't want anyone to smell it
on me the next day.
Yeah.
Cause we all know it juststinks, right?
Yeah.
And I didn't want anyone to knowthat I was drinking that much.
It got to a point where I had toget a real buzz on to fall
asleep at night to actuallythink I needed it to sleep.
If I had one the panic I thatwas set in for my evening, like
(06:02):
I was like, oh no, I have tohave two or three because I have
to make sure that I'm drunkenough to pass out.
But little.
And I know that pass out wastechnically a pass out, you're
passing out.
And then you're getting up attwo or three in the morning and
you're wide awake and then youhave to re fall asleep because
you're actually falling asleepat that point.
Then of course I'm still workingin the bars while going to
(06:22):
school but they don't out there,the people that I encountered
out there didn't really drink asmuch as we did here.
So I don't know if anyone elsehas ever experienced that, but
here it was more of a big dealyep, you work, you have drinks,
you get drunk and you go home.
Where at West, they would have adrink or two and then they'd go
home and get up early in themorning and start their day.
(06:42):
It was just a totally differentenvironment.
Yeah.
So it got to a point where I wasdrinking every night Smirnoff
Ice, specifically Smirnoff Ice.
Once I get something in my head,that's it, I stick to that.
Then, Slowly.
I started drinking wine, whitewine.
But then I started to progresseven worse with the white wine.
And I started thinking, okay, Ineed to slow down cuz I had
(07:03):
started drinking it more likejuice, And the red wine would
make me a little bit slower,drink it a little bit slower
which was better.
But then it was white wine orred wine, that escalated,
completely escalated to a bottleof bottle and a half an night.
Wow.
The odd time, the very odd timeI could do a magnet to myself
and I was still weighing thesame amount as I did.
(07:26):
in high school
Lindsey (07:26):
That's crazy.
Because that was my drink.
Loved red wine.
Yeah.
I was never somebody that drankevery day.
So I would just feel like crapthe next day.
But I would drink a bottle forsure.
I always would say once thatcork was out, I didn't keep it,
I tossed it in the garbage, cuzwhat's the point?
I'm gonna drink the bottle.
Yeah.
And then I would open a secondbottle most drinking nights,
(07:50):
which would either be Friday orSaturday.
And I would have one to twoglasses out of that bottle, but
I would feel like shit the nextday.
Were you ever blacking out?
Yep.
So I got to a point where Istarted blackout.
Yeah.
It started to make me nervousbecause at that point when I
started to black out, I had juststarted my business and it's a
(08:12):
senior care company.
And I was like, what if I see aclient one day and not
necessarily their family orwhatever, and I say something
stupid, that just ruins my wholecredibility right there.
That was really a major concernof mine.
So that was one of the thingsthat made me wanna quit
drinking.
I was blacking out, I got to apoint where I would have two
(08:33):
glasses of wine before I wentout, or three with my
girlfriends, and then I'd go andI'd have more drinks and then I
would come home and make surethat there was always one glass,
still at least one glass.
For me to be able to go to sleepat night.
Wow.
I didn't need that glass, but Ijust, psychologically I needed
to know that it was there as asecurity so I'd come home and
(08:54):
I'd drink even more and then I'dget even more drunk and I'd pass
out.
But it's funny how, when I quitdrinking, the amount of people
that said to me, oh, I didn'trealize you were that bad.
And I was like, yeah, I got thattoo.
Yeah.
Some of them were worse than Iwas, but still it doesn't
matter.
It just
Caroline (09:09):
yeah, nobody thought that I was, it was controlling
my life that much.
I started getting actuallydepressed.
I remember when my friends wouldsay, okay, we're gonna go out
tonight.
And I was like, oh, no.
It was like, I've already hadthe anxiety, already knew that
something was gonna happen, thatI was gonna black out and I was
actually going to AA for awhile.
And I was with my brother cuzhe's a recovering alcoholic, so
(09:31):
he's gonna be eight years soberin December.
And I am seven in September.
So I was still drinking.
Yeah, thanks.
I was still drinking while hewas going through this whole
process.
I had said to him, I'm worriedcause I'm blacking out.
He's was on a way worse levelthan I ever was.
And he was sitting beside me andsome guy was talking on the
stage and he was telling hisstory.
(09:53):
He goes, when you black out,you're an alcoholic.
And my brother turned to me andhe goes, that's you.
Oh.
And I, I remember that feelingof oh my God, you're an
alcoholic.
And I knew already cause I'dalready admitted it, but I
didn't need him to tell me thatI was an alcoholic because he
was worse than I was.
So it was like that whole,chills down my entire body.
I was like, okay.
(10:13):
That's it.
Yeah, I already knew, and wealready talked about it, but
just for him to tell me that Iwas like, okay, so this is it.
Yeah.
So then I was supposed to quitSeptember 1st that year, and
then I pushed it out toSeptember 10th.
Lindsey (10:28):
I went out and got really drunk with one of my
girlfriends and then came homeand that was it.
That was it.
I was 37 at that point.
Tracey (10:36):
Okay.
Okay.
But 10 years earlier?
I'd say I was 30 because I wasliving in Vancouver at that
point.
And I remember we had gone out,my cousin slept over at my house
and two of my other girlfriendswent out with one of my
girlfriends her fiance, and hehad bought us like all this
wine, took us up for a reallyfancy dinner and got so drunk.
And I woke up the next morningand I said to my cousin, one
day, I'm never gonna drinkagain.
(10:57):
And I meant that,
Lindsey (10:57):
wow.
I meant it, my stomach, I knewit was like my gut was saying to
me one day, this is not gonnahappen anymore.
So I was 30 and then it stuck inmy head after that.
And so that was it.
I slowly started looking upbecause I had my own business.
I started looking up people thatwere successful that don't
drink.
Wow.
Yeah.
Kelly (11:17):
You needed to see it.
Yeah, like Kim Kardashiandoesn't drink J Lo doesn't drink
they do periodically, butthey're not every night like I
was, and so I'd constantlylooking at people that were
successful that didn't drink butI did that for years.
Years until I said, that's it.
I'm done.
And then when I quit, I criedmyself to sleep for three weeks.
Lindsey (11:37):
Oh, wow.
My gosh.
Yeah.
Because I felt like I lost afriend.
Yes.
Like it was like, that canrelate.
That thing was always there forme no matter what.
If I was in a good mood, badmood.
I'm never really in a bad mood,but it just, whatever I was
feeling, if I was sad orwhatever it was there.
Yeah.
Then I lost that friend.
Kelly (11:55):
Yeah.
I talked about that on thepodcast about how it shocked me
that the grief hit me.
Yeah.
And I asked somebody and I said,is this a thing?
Is grief after quitting drinkinga thing?
They were like for sure that wasyour best friend.
And it just made so much sense.
But it shocked me to feel that.
Caroline (12:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (12:12):
It's funny.
I felt like that when I quitsmoking.
Yeah.
I didn't feel like that so muchwhen I quit drinking.
But I felt like that when I quitsmoking, I went through like a
depression.
Kelly (12:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (12:22):
See, and I would take cigarettes back.
I quit when I was 30.
I would take that back any day.
Like I love cigarettes.
But alcohol, I could care asmuch, like I like, yeah.
But the cigarettes, I criedmyself to sleep with the
alcohol, but with thecigarettes, I had the patch, so
I just felt like a little bit ofrage every now and again.
But like I was okay for the mostpart, with the cigarettes
(12:45):
though, if my friends go up forcigarettes, I still go out with
them.
Yeah.
I never provide myself to that.
Just if my friends, we all go upfor drink.
I say let's go for drinks.
Even though I don't drink, butwe'll go for drinks and I have
my soda water or my VirginCaesar and I'm fine, I just
didn't deprive myself of that.
But yeah, for me, that was mybest friend.
That was there.
Yeah, I always relied on it,wow.
(13:05):
I think what you said aboutpeople not thinking you drank
that much or that you had aproblem, I think part of that is
to do with the fact that a lotof us drink in secret almost.
A lot of our drinking or thebulk of our drinking when we're
on our own.
Cuz I know that was like me too.
And I could go out with myfriends that didn't drink and
not drink while I was out withthem, but then I would come home
(13:28):
and have wine.
Lindsey (13:29):
I was the same Tracey.
I would almost be annoyed thatI'd have to go out and socialize
because I'm like, I just wannago home and put my comfy pants
on.
And open my bottle of wine thatI know is waiting for me there
and watch Netflix and eat awheel of brie.
Leave me a lot of money.
You know what I mean?
Kelly (13:50):
Yeah.
It was, I, towards the end, likefor sure I did most of my
drinking at home.
Didn't even really go out asmuch anymore.
But if there was somewhere thatthere wasn't a lot of alcohol or
people weren't drinking the wayI did, there was always wine
waiting for me at home.
Always.
Yeah.
Yeah, I made sure of it.
Caroline, there's a lot of yourstory I can relate to, but I am
amazed at how self-aware youwere at such a young age your
(14:14):
early twenties and you knew youhad a problem.
I was like I thought everybodywas drinking the way I was
drinking.
I was so wrong, but yeah.
That's amazing.
Has anybody ever,
Mike (14:22):
but were you wrong?
What?
There's a lot of, oh, that'ssuch a good point's success
right now.
Kelly (14:28):
No, people were not drinking the way I thought every
single person that I was outwith was drinking the way that I
was.
And that's not true.
They weren't, I was the blackoutqueen, whatever.
But have have you talked aboutthat before in your business or
have people pointed that out toyou before that you're super
self-aware at such a young age?
Caroline (14:45):
No, no one's ever pointed that out.
But actually no.
The dermatologist, when I wentto go see him like years ago, he
had said to me, he said yougotta stop tanning.
I said I quit tanning in thetanning bed a long time ago,
like in my early thirties.
Now I do the spray tans.
And then I quit smoking when Iwas 30.
But like he said to me, you wereyoung when you did that.
Because normally people do thatin their forties.
(15:06):
They start to reassesseverything and go, okay, no, I
can't be smoking like thisanymore.
I can't be drinking like this.
It's more of an older age thatyou like you wake up.
But yeah, I guess that was theonly person that's ever pointed
out to me yeah.
It was
Mike (15:18):
sounds like you were planting seeds along the way,
like you just I think, yeah.
Now that I look back at it,yeah, absolutely.
I would talk about it and Iremember saying to another
friend, too, one day, I'm nevergonna drink again.
It was like in my gut, I knewbecause it really, it bothered
me that I was like this, like,why am I so dependent on this?
Why am I, my whole life revolvedaround it.
See, I would've never have beenable to go out with people that
(15:39):
didn't drink like that.
Wouldn't have same, it wouldn'tworked for me.
Subconscious is just, trying toguide you and tell you.
And if you listen, like youdefinitely listened.
Yeah.
You just kept going and pushingyourself.
I think that's what a lot ofpeople's journey is about.
Are you listening to the voice,right?
Yeah.
I always reference the littlevoice, the, it's in your ear,
(16:00):
you're listening to it becauseit's trying to tell you
something.
Yeah.
It totally is.
Years ago, my brother's sober.
He's eight years sober.
And yeah.
Cause I'm gonna be seven andthen my best friend was a drug
addict and he passed away in2019.
So that's where I had thought,said to myself years ago that if
something happens, either one ofthem, that I would get into
working with people withaddiction.
(16:22):
Wow.
And that's where I got to therecovery coach because I had
promised myself I would dosomething along the lines.
Then I was told about thisrecovery coach, sober coach
role.
That's where I got into.
Working with this, cuz I made ita promise.
Yeah.
So what was your business storybefore that?
Senior care.
Okay.
So helping seniors.
Yeah.
Tracey (16:43):
You were in that caregiving kind of type of role
as it was.
Yeah,
Caroline (16:47):
so I couldn't lose my license.
I couldn't do anything I wasrestricted and I know so many
people where I live, so I didn'twanna run into anybody and say
anything else stupid I didn'twanna ruin any business for
myself, so that was a big dealfor me to stay, to get sober.
For sure.
Yeah.
That's a big motivation.
Yeah, I think it is common formost people.
(17:07):
I know Mike has spoken about itand I think the girls have too I
know we've all talked about howwe had those moments of.
I don't wanna drink anymore.
And it took us a long time toactually get to the place where
we weren't.
But I know for myself similar toyou looking at people that, were
successful and didn't drink.
(17:27):
I started doing stuff, likelistening to podcasts about
drinking and stuff like that.
Listening to The Naked Mind,preparing myself before I quit.
As inspiration, because I knewthat was the path that I wanted
to take too.
It was just a matter of gettingmyself there.
It's funny that you said thatbecause for me, I was looking up
those people, but I wasn'treally thinking I was gonna, I
(17:48):
had said it, I was gonna quitdrinking, but I wasn't thinking
I'm gonna quit drinking.
You know what I mean?
I wasn't putting the twotogether.
Yeah.
So when I was ready, I just,okay, that was it.
I did it.
You just had to jump right intoit.
Even if I was hungover, itdidn't matter.
I was still drinking the nextday.
I don't know about any of youguys, but I was still drinking.
I was still doing what?
(18:08):
I still had to sleep at night,so
Tracey (18:11):
I didn't get really bad hangovers.
So that definitely didn't determe from drinking the next day.
Caroline (18:17):
Okay.
I did, as I got older, I did andI would eat like poutine every
time
Kelly (18:24):
we've talked about that.
Caroline (18:26):
P tried to train and to
Kelly (18:28):
nourish my hangover with a green smoothie to start, but
always ended up eating fries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And then knowing that the onlything that was gonna make the
hangover go away was more booze.
Yeah.
I can relate to your not beingable to go to sleep without
alcohol.
I always made sure I had alcoholand if for some reason I didn't
drink that night, I was drink,like I was Yeah.
Drinking
Caroline (18:49):
night.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I've done that.
NyQuil and wine.
Yeah.
I just said to my old roommatethe other day we're still
friends obviously.
We were walking and we were inToronto and I said, do you
remember when we used to drinkNyQuil and drink wine at the
same time?
And she goes, really?
I don't remember that.
I'm like, oh yeah.
And whose idea was that?
That was mine.
Cause I like that little buzz,that little right before you go
(19:09):
to sleep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it was, right?
The buzz before you go to sleep.
It's like when you takemelatonin too, kinda like that.
It gives you the tiny little bitof that feeling as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, I still take every day.
Tracey (19:25):
So were you never a good sleeper or you just found that
became your norm when youstarted drinking?
Or you got that in your head?
Caroline (19:33):
I got it in my head.
I think it was allpsychological.
Yeah, I honestly think it wasall psychological because I
sleep just fine.
And I feel like I, I did beforeyeah, I think I just stuck it in
my head.
It was part of the disease,thinking that no, I need this to
get by today.
Like going before I go to themall, I need to have a bottle of
Smirnoff Ice.
I didn't need that, but in myhead I thought I did.
Tracey (19:54):
Yeah.
Cuz I, I would say I slept a lotbetter when I stopped drinking.
Oh
Caroline (19:59):
yes.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Because you have a real sleep,like you're actually sleeping.
You're actually Yeah,
Tracey (20:04):
exactly.
It's not rest.
Resting your body.
Yeah.
It's not disruptive.
Mike (20:09):
Do you guys have dreams when you, when you drank?
Caroline (20:12):
Yeah.
Like how do you mean remember?
Kelly (20:15):
How do you mean?
Yeah.
Lindsey (20:16):
I don't remember dreaming at all.
Cause I was usually blacked outand not remembering even going
to bed.
But I just had a dream.
Actually, I just told a friendthis.
I was on a work trip and I wokeup.
I had a dream that I was sodrunk.
Oh, this I'm having a lot ofthese.
This is gonna be, this Decemberwill be four years alcohol free.
Caroline (20:36):
Good for you.
Yeah.
Lindsey (20:37):
Thanks.
But it's like I'm having a lotof wasted dreams where I was
really drunk in this dream.
I was at a hotel and somebodykept saying, you're so wasted.
And I was acting like I wasn't,but I knew that I was, and I
could feel that feeling in mydream of me acting like an
idiot.
I was like, oh my God.
So I have dreams now.
Kelly (20:58):
I've had those.
Yeah.
They're awful.
I haven't had one for a longtime.
Yeah.
But they're the worst.
Mike (21:03):
So you did.
I never had dream, like I didn'thave dreams for 10 years,
easily.
I think it was.
Lindsey (21:09):
Why do you think that is?
Because you were drinking,
Kelly (21:11):
you don't go into the REM sleep
Mike (21:12):
because of the the alcohol and weed.
Yeah.
Oh, think the excessive weed.
Mixture with alcohol.
Yeah.
Put my dream on pause.
But I have crazy dreams now.
Like ridiculous.
Yeah.
Me what you're saying, Liz, but
Caroline (21:31):
What
Lindsey (21:32):
like some real vivid ones and you're like, oh my God.
They're like movies.
I'm like, who wrote this stuff?
This is crazy.
That movie.
Mike (21:40):
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
What kinda movies Kelly.
Kelly (21:45):
They don't even make any sense.
Actually we should do a dreamanalysis episode, but I'm always
in a hotel or a mall or like aconference center.
No.
And I'm always like not always,but I al also have luggage
dreams a lot, which,interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Baggage.
Yeah.
(22:06):
Yeah.
Caroline (22:07):
Do you look them up afterwards?
Yeah, I do.
Obsessively.
Kelly (22:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (22:11):
I'm, I do the same thing whenever I dream I, I
always look it up yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
But yeah, like that
Kelly (22:16):
when we're drinking, we don't get that rem sleep, so we
don't get into that deep statewhere we do get to dream.
Yeah.
Tracey (22:24):
I always find it funny that people smoke weed to sleep
well, I never sleep well,anytime I've ever smoked weed,
it gives me anxiety.
Yeah.
People say that.
Yeah, I don't think it reallyagrees with me, that's why it's
good.
It's never been my thing, butthe few times that I have done
it I'm like, I don't even knowwhat you guys are talking about.
I don't sleep well and then Iwake up and actually for me,
(22:47):
smoking weed is worse thanwaking up hungover cause Oh
really?
I wake up and I have zeromotivation.
Weed was the hangover cure forme.
That's probably how I was ableto drink.
Four to five nights a week andgo to work.
Wow.
It was like, oh my God.
It was the first thing I reachedfor, as pathetic as it is, it's
(23:07):
just, it was like, yeah.
I did smoke weed for a bit, butnot I never really got, it was
alcohol.
It was a hundred percent alcoholfor me.
Yeah.
Lindsey (23:18):
I just wanted to know so when you quit, did you ever
have a slip up or drink againafter that?
And what did you do to keepyourself sober and stay on
track?
I worked out, so I worked out, Iwent to this the gym.
I kept myself busy with that andI didn't have a slip up.
(23:38):
And in that time, since I'vebeen sober, I lost my best
friend due to a drug overdose.
saw him dead on the kitchenfloor.
But I chose to see him deadbecause I needed to register.
And then my dog, that was mybaby died and then my ex and I
split up.
The only time out of all thatwas when my ex and I split up
(24:00):
that I really felt like I neededa drink.
I just kept on thinking of mywhy.
Why do I not drink?
Because I don't wanna get intothat.
I would've been way worse.
Yeah, at this point right now, Iwouldn't be here at this point
in my life, it would, I would bestill drinking and it would be
awful.
It was a choice.
Either I go down that rabbithole and get really drunk and
(24:22):
get depressed, or I just try andfight it.
And that's what I did.
So that's the only time in theseven years.
Because I was really distraughtover that breakup.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
You know what it was a differentfrom my friend dying was he was
dead and he I knew he loved me.
It was a totally differentfeeling, and he was gone,
(24:43):
whereas this one was still aliveand just chose not to be with
me.
So that was, that's a wholedifferent feeling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a lot to process thosefeelings without numbing them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (24:57):
Yeah.
That was the first time I had todo that.
Yeah.
Tracey (25:00):
Yeah.
I've had that experience sinceI've been sober.
Just having very hurt feelingsand then trying to process them
and really fighting that kind offeeling of wanting them to just
go away, which would benaturally why I would drink.
Yeah.
Caroline (25:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mike (25:19):
That's part of the growth is that you.
You go through it, you sit withthose feelings that you never
sat through.
It's, it sucks shit.
It really does.
Yeah.
And I think it's, and I don'tspeak for anybody else, but I
think we've all kind of beenthere in certain levels and,
whether it's losing a friend, arelationship whatever it is we
have to go through, you have toride through it.
(25:41):
Cuz those temptations are thereto say, deal with it tomorrow,
come visit me.
Yeah.
I went golfing on the weekendwith some guys and it's, Hey, I
miss old Mike.
I've told you guys this before.
And it's I just look at them andI laugh and it's a challenge.
It's a challenge to sit thereand say, what's one beer?
Like?
What's one beer?
(26:01):
And it's to me it's one beer isright now.
It's not the end of the world,but it took a lot to get to this
point.
Why do you want, and would it beone beer, Mike?
No, that's the thing too, right?
I dunno.
Honestly, I think I had one beerand I'd be on my ass.
I used to smoke weed when Igolfed cuz I would focus, you
couldn't distract me.
(26:22):
I would be focused looking atthe ball again.
Okay.
I tell myself one, two backthrough or whatever, and now I
have to go through the voices inmy head like, oh, don't hit it.
Oh know, don't stub the ball.
I'll shut up.
I just want to swing and hit theball.
Those things, it's, I don'tknow, part of me is like, what
would it be like to be honestwith you, but I haven't done it.
(26:44):
So
Lindsey (26:45):
Do you ever miss it?
Anybody on the podcast here?
Do you ever miss the feeling of,I don't know.
Cuz when I used to drink, I usedto like that first drink.
It's oh, okay.
I'm relaxing.
But then it's at a certain pointit turns, but sometimes if I'm
honest I've even said this onthe podcast sometimes I miss it.
Would I ever do it again?
(27:05):
I feel like I've come to a pointwhere I know my answer is no.
Mike (27:09):
Yeah.
I can't say that.
And we've talked about thisbefore.
I just don't know.
I think so, but I don't know.
We all talked about duringCovid, every single person was
like, I'm drinking too much.
Oh my God.
Immense amount of people werelike, how do you get through
this whole lockdown scenarioswithout drinking?
It's I don't know.
I just,
Caroline (27:29):
I feel my feelings.
Kelly (27:30):
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't miss drinking atall, and I'm grateful, I just
find at least one moment everyday to be grateful that I don't
have alcohol in my life anymore.
And my intention is to never,ever drink again.
I've worked really hard on thiswhole alcohol free thing and I
don't want it to go away.
It's pretty, pretty beautiful.
Mike (27:50):
What about you Carolyn?
No, I'm good.
I'm got done but the only thingI miss, sometimes, I'm dating
now, right?
So it's hard because oh, here wego.
A lot of guys my favorite,second favorite topic, yay.
Oh, these girls love you forbringing this.
Caroline (28:05):
Sorry, I got two things against me.
I want kids still and Yep.
I, yeah, and I don't drink, soit's like guys my age don't
technically want kids unlessI've got one that's that has
probably hasn't had in years.
Is a total family guy in schoolhaving five or six.
Also I don't drink so quiteoften if they find out I don't
drink, they're gone.
(28:26):
They are gone within a second.
Wow.
Can we ask how old you are?
I'm 44, so yeah, so guys my agedon't necessarily wanna have
kids and I've noticed that, I'llsay to them all I don't drink,
and then with I'm on the datingsites and then all of a sudden
I'm deleted.
So it is what it is.
I feel you, I'm in the sameboat.
Yeah.
(28:46):
It's brutal.
Tracey (28:47):
I did say to a girlfriend the other day that I
am happy that I drank through mydaughter being a toddler and
dating.
Yeah.
Because I swear I survived thosetwo things because of drinking
at the time.
Yeah.
But other than that, I don'tmiss it.
(29:07):
I think it's the best decisionI've ever made in my life and I
find many opportunities to showme why I made that decision.
I just had one recently and Icouldn't have been happier that,
I wasn't drinking anymore andthat wasn't my life.
Caroline (29:24):
Yeah.
I actually drink the fake wine.
So I go to Fortinos or toSobey's.
I might run after this to go getsome, but it's just the fake red
wine and it tastes exactly likered wine no way I shouldn't be
doing it because technicallywhen you quit drinking, you
shouldn't be doing it.
But it's that's says who though.
Yeah, exactly.
Lindsey (29:42):
I was gonna say no, don't say that.
You do.
You do.
Yeah.
It's my treat.
It's my treat at the end of thenight.
So I put it in a wine glass andthen I'll go to parties and have
it in a wine glass.
I went to my cousin's babyshower a couple weeks ago and
this couple came in and the guycomes into the house and he goes
to the host.
Can I have a glass of red winefor my wife?
And she goes, yeah, go on thecounter there and go grab some
(30:03):
while He grabbed my red wine soI went up to her later and I go,
that was non-alcoholic red wine.
Just so you know.
And she's really?
She goes, I would've never haveknown.
No.
It tastes just like it.
Now there's new things.
There's gin, there's vodka.
It's all non-alcoholic or going,having mocktails at the bar
instead of having a soda waterlike I do or Virgin Caesar.
(30:24):
There's more options now.
Yeah.
So yeah, now I'm in that habitof going and getting a nice big,
a bottle of wine and I drinkthat I was drinking them like I
was drinking alcohol before, soI was like, okay, I need to slow
down, so stop for a minute.
And now I'll have one glass of.
So unless I'm at a party andthen I'll drink the bottle, it's
okay.
Then I feel included, right?
I feel like I'm a part of theeveryone's except for I don't
(30:47):
get the hangover, which isfantastic.
That's so cool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Tell us a little more about howyour business came about then,
and so was how long you've beendoing that.
Caroline (30:58):
Technically I've been doing it for 20 years cuz I've
been helping people get soberfor that amount of time.
But then I found out about itand I didn't even know that this
was something that you could do,being a recovery coach or a
sober coach.
And then from there I looked itup and got the course ready.
I took a course I actually tookabout three courses and just got
(31:18):
all set up with it.
I did it online, and then I juststarted, now, I'm a recovery
coach, sober coach.
So Rob Ford had a a sober coach.
I don't know if you recall whenhe was going, through his whole
thing, he had a recovery coachand he was in the papers, and I
do recall seeing him.
There's not many in Canada.
There's tons in the states, buthe's been doing that for a long
(31:39):
time.
I did know about it a long timeago, but it didn't click until
it was actually brought to myattention.
I made that promise that I wasgonna help people with this I
know every angle being a familymember with a loved one that is
going through it, me goingthrough it, and then losing my
best friend to it.
I know in all aspects.
I understand it.
(31:59):
What's the process?
The course itself?
Mike (32:02):
Yeah, what's the process for somebody who would use you
for your resources?
They would contact you and whatare they to expect from working
with you?
So what we do is we work out aplan to help them get sober and
stay sober.
So basically it's an everydaything, I'll go to AA meetings,
na meetings with them, I'll doall that stuff.
(32:22):
I'm their support.
And then there's other like acompanion where you can go to
like events, if they feel likethey're gonna have a slip up
they would have me as their datein a sense, and to be there to
stop them from having thattemptation to drink.
The process is they reach out tome and then we go from there.
We work at a plan.
We work at the plan A to getthem sober.
(32:43):
If they need to go into a rehabfacility, we work on that.
And then keep them soberafterwards.
Lindsey (32:49):
So are you meeting with them then, or having calls or
Zoom calls
Caroline (32:53):
or, I'm getting a lot of calls.
Yeah.
Personally for me, I prefer tomeet them in person, so they'll
call first, then we meet inperson.
it's better to meet in personbecause it's more of a
connection, person than being,yeah.
Especially with somebody who'sstruggling, it's just better
that you're there and they cansee you and you share your
story.
I don't have to share my story.
There's little bits and piecesthat I do share with them.
(33:15):
I'm pretty open about it.
I'm on Instagram and I share itthere, but yeah.
So we go through that.
We sit down, we talk aspect.
Yeah, exactly right.
Yeah.
So that, I've been through it,so I know.
I probably don't know everyaspect of what they're going
through, but I do know a greatdeal of it.
Great.
And then we go from there.
Yeah.
Tracey (33:33):
do you find a lot of people reaching out to you are
people trying to get sober?
They know or have acknowledgedthey have a problem and they're
looking for assistance to getsober.
More so than say, people thatneed the support after the fact.
Yeah.
When they need to get sober is,that's it.
When their wife has left them,or the hospital says, listen,
you gotta be very carefulbecause you're walking on
(33:55):
eggshells now.
So it's at that point they callme quite often, they'll call me
and I don't hear from them.
I'm not chasing after them.
They have to wanna do this.
Yeah.
So I'll wait for them to call meand I'll be there.
I've learned to this is my life.
And if I have plans at night andsomeone calls me and needs my
help.
That's how it's gonna work.
I'm gonna be there for them.
This is what I'm giving up in mylife to do.
(34:16):
So That's amazing.
I know, how crucial it is thatlike, when they've made that
decision, it's gotta be doneright now.
Let's go ahead and let's getthem started.
Yeah.
I'm curious if you continued onwith the 12 step meetings.
Did you go through that wholeprogram?
I did a year.
Okay.
And then I was like I needed abreak.
I was good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I would like to go back.
(34:36):
I'm starting to slowly go back.
My schedule is still crazy rightnow, so, I haven't had a chance,
but I wanna start to get backinto it maybe twice a week
because I went back, a friend ofmine who's trying to sober her
up.
We went in Toronto, and I wentand I was like, huh.
It was just, it felt good to bethere.
Because they talked about beinga dry drunk, and I was like, oh.
Maybe I am, it's it's just thoselittle things of you're still
(34:59):
those mannerisms of being drunkand like an addict, but you're
not drinking.
I could see that in myself andit's just a good reminder to get
yourself grounded again and belike, okay.
Yep.
I need to do this.
Yeah.
So I definitely wanna go back.
Kelly (35:14):
Cool.
Yeah, no, I was just curious.
That's one of the reasons why wedecided to do this podcast was
just a lot of people, Thinkthat's the only way to do it.
So we've talked to so manydifferent people that have taken
so many different paths.
So I was just curious, but I hadthat moment that you had with
your brother in that meeting.
I had a girlfriend take me to myfirst meeting, and it did happen
(35:35):
to be my only meeting, but stillthe realization.
I remember going through my headlike, oh my God, girl, you got
yourself here.
This is where you are.
Yes, you are in a churchbasement at an AA meeting.
It was a big eye opener for me.
Yeah.
I could relate to that part ofyour story.
I remember the chills, like allday morning.
I was like, oh, I was so mad athim.
(35:56):
Like I was mad at him, but Iwasn't mad at him.
Yeah.
You were mad at yourself.
That's it.
Frustration myself.
Yeah, she's Okay.
Fine.
Yeah.
So yeah.
What a great way for you toserve the recovery community to
be a coach.
That's awesome.
Caroline (36:13):
Yeah.
A couple months ago, I started agrief group as well for people
that have lost something due todrugs and alcohol.
Because when my friend died, Ireached out to a lot of people
and there wasn't much out there.
Because I wasn't a relative Ihad people say to me we can't
help you cuz you're not blood.
You're not his sibling orwhatever, or his wife.
No, no way.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
You're not his wife.
I can't help you.
(36:33):
So I called because his brotherand I wanted to go together
because his brother was reallystruggling with it.
So they said we can help hisbrother, but we can't help you.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and I called I reputableplaces, and this is what I got
back in return.
I started Monday meetings forpeople grieving and dealing with
this, because you're goingthrough this way beforehand,
(36:53):
right?
You're dealing with somebodywho's an addict and then
afterwards you have to deal withthem die, so it's like you have
got the be before and after.
I started that on Monday nights,and I stopped in the new year,
but I think I'm gonna start backup again because I think it's so
important that there is somebodyfor people to talk to.
Yeah.
There's such a stigmatism.
I went to therapy shortly afterhe had died it was a group
(37:15):
therapy and there people wereall passing away from cancer.
So when I would tell my story,they were like, oh it was and I
kept on saying he was reallyeducated and he was really good
with his money, and it's Ishouldn't have to make those say
that.
No.
I shouldn't be a part of anyprocess.
Yeah.
So I'd like to start that backup again.
Monday nights.
Yeah.
That's great.
Tracey (37:33):
That's great.
Yeah.
I agree with you that there'sprobably not a lot out there.
I lost my stepbrother toaddiction too.
Actually, interesting, itwould've been his 40th birthday
last week, and, I know mystepdad has still obviously
struggles with it being his son.
Yeah, I don't think there is alot of support out there for
(37:55):
people going through that.
You're right.
So good for you to think of thatand provide that as well.
Yeah.
It's a hard process, right?
Are you finding that a lot ofpeople that are coming to you
for help are similar in thesense that maybe, They think
their drinking is normal orpeople think that they don't
really have a problem or whatkind of area are they at in
(38:17):
their life?
Or are they really just hit rockbottom?
Caroline (38:20):
I think a lot of the times that someone else has told
them, listen, you gotta stopdrinking.
And that's why they're notcalling me back.
Those ones are not calling backbecause they're calling me
because someone else told themto call me.
And they say, I need help.
I need help.
And then, okay, awesome.
I'm here to help you, butthey're not ready.
They haven't hit rock bottomrock do it for themselves.
They can never do it forsomebody else.
(38:41):
Yeah.
That's why I don't call them, Idon't chase them because if I do
that, then that's not doing themany favors it's more like they
need to call me and then wannado this.
Right now some of'em are callingand they don't call back.
they have to be ready,honorable.
I think two people are scared,right?
I think sometimes you're scaredto change, too, scared to
change, and you're scared of ohmy God, how am I gonna live
without this substance?
(39:02):
I can't visualize how life isgonna be without it, and I don't
know if I really wanna give itup.
Am I ready for that?
The social part of it.
Everyone drinks.
Yeah.
Their friends are drinking andwhat am I gonna do?
Am I to sit at home?
No, you don't need to do that.
I go out with my friends andsometimes I'll stay up till two
in the morning with them.
Not always, but yeah, for sure.
You know what I mean?
Kelly (39:19):
I think some of our listeners would like to hear
that part of your story that youare still really social and you
do still go out.
It doesn't sound like you missmuch, and I think that is a big
fear, like Lindsay's saying,there's a lot of fear around it
and a fear that you're gonnamiss having fun.
When I quit drinking, I wasworried that I would be, I was
part of the Chamber of Commerceand I was not shy, but I was
(39:41):
never shy in my life, but I wasmore Worried about approaching,
when I drank, at least I feltthat I was more relaxed and I
could approach people more.
I was part of the Chamber ofCommerce.
They have those business nightsand then you can go and just
Hey, how are you?
Blah, blah, blah.
But I find that it took a littlebit of time and now I'm totally
fine.
I can do that to with people.
Whereas I wouldn't have done itso much before.
(40:02):
I would've had to have a drinkbefore to go and socialize with
people.
You just have to get through therough patch and then you can get
to this part in your life.
I have more of a social life nowthan I've ever had.
And it gives you confidence.
Doing all this work and doingall it gives you the confidence
to just be whoever you'resupposed to be in any situation.
(40:23):
That's what
Caroline (40:23):
it does.
It does.
Because I'm self-consciousbefore, I was drinking, I was
feeling for sure.
And now I'm like, No, I'm good.
I don't need to worry about whatI'm gonna say tonight.
What I'm gonna do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Am I gonna embarrass?
Kelly (40:37):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Tracey (40:39):
Yeah, you can also discover along the way that your
interests are in differentthings, that maybe your
interests isn't to be out at thebar with your friends all the
time.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
I think I am by nature a moreintroverted person, although I
can be extroverted as well.
But I think that I've resortedback to being more introverted.
(41:00):
I was more introverted before Istarted drinking, and I think
naturally that's who I am.
The drinking may be moreextroverted, and I think it's
okay that I'm don't have to bethat person all the time.
Yeah.
And sometimes we're drinkingbecause we're doing things that
aren't in alignment with who wereally are.
Yeah.
We're around people we're notreally supposed to be around,
(41:20):
yeah.
Yeah.
Did you find that you lost a lotof friends when you quit
drinking?
Lindsey (41:24):
Naturally, I didn't wanna hang out with people that
I was naturally people, not justalcohol, but my whole personal
growth.
My marriage ended a year after Iquit drinking.
So just the natural process ofmy whole healing thing, not just
the alcohol.
Yes.
People left and I also chose toleave situations.
I found that people would belike, oh, I'm only drinking
(41:44):
this.
making excuses around me.
I was like I'm choosing to dothis for myself.
Yes, for me, it was actually athree month plan that it was
supposed to be, and then I endup, someone said to me you might
as well make it life changingand just keep going.
And that's why I kept on going.
But people would be like, oh no,I'm only drinking this much.
And I said, I don't care whatyou drink, I'm doing this for
me.
And I found that my friends thatdrank didn't call me so much.
(42:04):
Yes.
Now they do, because I still,again, I'm like social, so they
see that I'm not staying at homeand stuff like that.
So they're okay with, us goingout and I don't judge them.
I don't care if they drink,that's up to them.
They can make that decision ontheir own.
Yeah.
Kelly (42:19):
Yeah.
Lindsey (42:21):
When I think back to me quitting drinking I was
listening to a lot of podcaststoo, or reading books.
I started to get curious atfirst, but I think.
The easy part in this process isquitting the substance or
reducing the amount that youdrink.
But the hard part is recreatingyour life to not include the
(42:43):
substance and then filling itwith things that excite you or,
spark curiosity and, help yourealize what your dreams are.
When I quit, I didn't even thinkabout, contacting a recovery
coach, but I think that's wheresomeone like you would come in,
is to help somebody see, okay,we're gonna reduce or quit the
substance.
(43:04):
That can be the easy partsometimes, but then it's now
what?
I think that's what holds peopleback from actually quitting
because they're like wait, what?
What am I gonna do?
Caroline (43:13):
Yeah, I think it's just that scary thought of oh my
God, I'm never gonna drinkagain.
So I just tell people think ofit, it's one minute at a time.
You can't jump the gun becausethat's gonna make you wanna go
back to drinking.
You have to just take it onestep at a time, one minute at a
time.
Yeah.
You don't look at it like, oh myGod, this is never gonna happen
again, because yeah.
It might never happen again.
And really, to be honest withyou, it doesn't really matter.
(43:34):
It really doesn't matter.
It's just that you're in a panicat that moment in time.
So yes.
Sometimes a thought of things isworse than actually doing it.
Yeah.
Lindsey (43:42):
For sure.
That's for sure.
I think it's good too, you'vegot professional, you've got the
course and all of that behindyou, but you're also a peer,
you're somebody that's gonethrough this.
Yeah.
So you've got like the bothperspectives on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On every angle having a siblingthat's an alcoholic, I'm myself
and losing somebody.
So yeah.
(44:03):
The experience I didn't reallywanna have, but I'm glad I
didn't have it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's beneficial and whatyou're doing though, people
wanna know that you can relateand understand where they're
coming from, right?
Yeah.
I think it would be hard to takesomeone's advice if it was
coming from someone who hadnever drank or had that
experience, right?
Yeah.
So true.
(44:23):
I'm sure your experience reallyhelps when you're working with
people.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (44:29):
Where can people get in touch with you, and what kind of
services are you actuallyoffering?
The recovery coach, sober coach.
Basically, like I said, we workat a plan to get people sober,
stay sober.
I'll go to NA meetings, AAmeetings, we'll sit down and
discuss however they wanna work.
And then if they have to go intoa recovery facility, then I will
(44:50):
help them get into that as well.
How they can reach me is on mywebsite would be probably the
best is www.soberme.
ca.
And then you can always emailme.
I'm having issues in my emailaddress right now, but it's
caroline@soberme.ca and I'm onInstagram as well, soberme.ca on
Instagram anyone can reach outto me there too.
(45:11):
And just follow my story aswell.
Okay, perfect.
We'll put all that in our shownotes so people know how to get
ahold of you.
So you're doing primarilyone-on-one type of stuff then?
No meetings or anything likethat, other than the grief
group.
Is it a group that you startedyeah, so I was doing that.
I haven't started back up again,but I'm going to within the next
(45:31):
couple of weeks get it going.
But yes, all one-on-one, okay.
Okay.
Confidential, nobody needs toknow.
No one gets told anything.
It's just between myself and theclient and yeah, we'll go from
there.
Okay.
That's great.
Thanks for joining us, Caroline.
Caroline (45:47):
Thank you for having me.
I really enjoyed this.
This is good.
That's awesome.
Oh yeah.
Mike (45:51):
I knew, like I said, way back when we first met.
We met through my sisterindirectly and we had mutual
friends and then we talked onetime and it was like, I
honestly, I was like, wait asecond.
What?
You don't drink?
I swear to you I thought hedoesn't drink like everybody
drinks, but then.
And I was going on a trip toArizona to play baseball and I
(46:17):
don't think the thought startedthere, but ironically, three
years later when I went to thatsame trip was the last hurrah
for me.
And I came back and I drankevery freaking day and I
thought, I can't do thisanymore.
I actually was cleaning my phoneout about a month ago cuz it
said no memory.
And I started deleting photosand videos.
I would look at them before Idelete them.
(46:39):
There was a video that I took atthat Arizona trip.
I was so drunk and I was walkinghome from the bar and I was
videotaping the sidewalk as Iwas walking there, cough sirens.
In Scottsdale Arizona.
It was just my feet, just downthe sidewalk.
And I thought, oh, that'sprobably a good indication that
it's time to have given it up,yeah.
Kelly (46:58):
I always think we're meant to see those things, those
little things.
Yes.
What's that Kel?
I always think we're meant tosee those things.
Mike (47:05):
Thousand percent?
Yeah.
Oh no.
A thousand percent.
Yeah.
And some of the old photos arestill out there that are, old
trips.
I'm sure everybody's got thoseand those are good to have
because you know what, you'reallowed to live, you lived your
life back then, and you can't beashamed of every single moment
of your life.
No, my God, you wouldn't be whoyou are without some of those
moments.
So take the good with the badand it's, you can conquer stuff.
(47:28):
It's amazing what you can do.
And if you've got a person likeCaroline, that can be helpful.
Kelly (47:33):
There you go.
Whoa.
It's funny that you say that,Mike, because I remember saying
to somebody once I wasted somany years in the bar drinking
I'm so mad.
And she was like, yeah, but youhad a lot of fun.
Still, to me that was a waste oftime, but I wouldn't be where
I'm at today without drinkingthe way that I did.
Yeah.
I would be able to be doing thiswithout having done that.
(47:54):
So Yeah.
And it's like just an example ofdon't ever look back and think,
oh my God.
Why did I do this?
Why did I do that?
It got to you to where you'reat, so I agree.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
A thousand percent.
A thousand, 10000%.
Yeah.
I wouldn't trade any of theDeBry.
There's just no way.
So we all needed that experienceto be who we are today.
Mike (48:18):
Hundred percent.
Thanks for joining us.
It's been great getting to knowa little bit more about you, and
I'm glad you got to meet theLadies of the LAF Life podcast.
Tracey (48:30):
Thanks for joining us, Carolyn.
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate It's a pleasuremeeting you.
Thanks Listeners.
You'll be able to find us on ourInstagram LAF Life podcast and
our Facebook page at Laugh Lifethat's a good Mike.
I like that voice.
,that's great.
This is a new one, Mike.
This isn't going on.
(48:50):
What?
This?
The stripper DJ one.
Mike (48:54):
why?
I'm working strip bar.
I've been to too many stripbars.
What is this one?
Drinking Boring.
Tracey (48:59):
This is like the commercial Mike voice or
something.
Lindsey (49:03):
Wasn't there a nickname?
What was the nickname?
I can't remember.
Didn't, wasn't there like a Oh,it's my alias, it's Wayne
Maplewood.
Yeah.
Yes.
Kelly (49:19):
Thank you, caroline.
Nice meeting.
Yes.
nice meeting you too thank youguys.
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
(49:39):
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:25):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Mike (00:42):
Welcome everybody to the LAF Life podcast, episode 21.
Today we have a special guest.
Caroline Barrett is joining usto talk about a few things.
One being her life withoutalcohol and some of the things
she does related to that.
Hi everybody.
Lindsey (01:00):
Hey, Mike.
You're welcome.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome, Caroline.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Mike (01:06):
Yeah, we've known each other indirectly through mutual
friends, but probably over thelast say five years.
And yeah, we've had some goodconversations about Alcohol
versus non alcohol.
And when we got involved withthe podcast, you were one of the
people that I thought of, cuz wehad some, pretty good
conversations about it.
You were probably one of thefirst people that I ever
(01:27):
encountered that was living alife of out alcohol.
And I thought, is that actuallya thing?
So why don't you start off bytelling us a little bit about
yourself, but maybe we'll startwith when was the first time you
had a drink or got involved withdrinking in general?
Caroline (01:45):
Okay, so I am a recovery coach now.
I started drinking when I was14.
I drink beer.
I hated beer.
I hated the smell of it, tasteof it, everything.
But I drank beer and I rememberit was Coors Light, and I'm not
very big.
I'm five three.
At that point, I was weighingabout 103 pounds.
So it took half a bottle for meto get drunk.
(02:07):
And I think I had two, twobottles.
I remember it being, I liked theout of, not the out of control
part, but I liked being able toact as a different person in a
sense.
I fell in love with that part ofit.
So that was my first timedrinking.
Like I said, it was like twobottles, maybe two and a half
bottles, and then I was done.
(02:28):
And I just fell in love with it,even though I hated beer.
I hated the smell.
I hate it today.
I hate the smell of it.
I hate all of it, but I just Ifell in love with the feeling
of.
Not being sober.
That started back then.
And then I would drink with myfriends.
It wasn't like, all of a suddenI was addicted.
It took time, right?
(02:49):
But we'd go out, we didn't haveanything to do.
We were teenagers.
We'd go out and we'd go like ina park and go and drink coolers
or go and of course I lovecoolers cause I love sugar.
So it was, I was addicted tothat.
I loved the sugar, the taste ofit, and how I felt and how I
acted because I felt moreconfident in myself at that
point.
I was young, so I literally tooklike a drink so little and I
(03:14):
would be drunk and everyonewould say to me, oh, you're so
funny.
When you're drinking, you're somore outgoing when you're
drinking.
So I thought this was a greatthing, and then I started
drinking like Mickey's rum.
I got into this rum and cokekind of phase.
And I drank like a quarter ofthat and I would be drunk and
then that would last me forquite a bit of time, cause we'd
(03:34):
only drink on the weekends andstuff like that.
And I don't know if anybody elsereally was in the same spot that
I was.
I always wanted to escape,that's probably the right word
to say.
Escape from who I was.
It slowly progressed from there.
I had come from a family my daddrank socially.
My mom never really drank, butmy mom's brother was an
alcoholic.
He actually, essentially, hedied of alcoholism.
(03:56):
He died of cancer, but he was analcoholic right?
To the end.
And and then there's like mydad's side of the family, he's
adopted, but we just found hisbiological family.
I'm thinking that maybe theremight have been addiction in
that part too.
Both my brother and I drankquite a bit.
And I think that's where I gotit from, in a sense that I just,
it was in my blood, it was moreof a weekend kind of thing and
(04:16):
I'd crave it even during theweek.
And then eventually I startedworking in the bar, and that's
when I got way different, wholeother level.
Then it got to every night andthen drunk every night, not
just, oh, let's just have onedrink or two drinks.
It was continuous, getting drunkyour friends all work in the
bar, right?
So your friends work in the bar,everyone's drinking, everyone's
(04:36):
laughing at all the stuff youdid the night before.
I was right in there.
Yeah, that's how it became ahabit.
I became a habitual drinkerright from working in the bar.
From that point on, my thingthen was spin off ice and those
things have 9% alcohol.
I think it's, or something like,it's a large amount of alcohol
in there.
So I'd have 2, 3, 4 a night, ifnot way more than that if we
(04:59):
were going out and I was drunkand then it just became every
night thing that I just kept ongoing.
And then from there it justprogressed even worse.
I recognized it probably about21, 22 when I lived in
Vancouver.
And I was rearranging my entirelife I was going to college out
in Vancouver and be done school,and then I'd wanna go shopping
(05:19):
at the mall.
And then I'd think to myself,oh, I need to go home and have a
glass of wine or a Smirnoff icebefore I go to the mall.
I knew then I had a problem.
I knew, but I was still doingit.
And then I would drink three orfour drinks a night.
This is when I was in Vancouverand I would get up for school
the next morning and I wouldtake a shower and I would scrub
(05:40):
the alcohol off my body cuz Ididn't want anyone to smell it
on me the next day.
Yeah.
Cause we all know it juststinks, right?
Yeah.
And I didn't want anyone to knowthat I was drinking that much.
It got to a point where I had toget a real buzz on to fall
asleep at night to actuallythink I needed it to sleep.
If I had one the panic I thatwas set in for my evening, like
(06:02):
I was like, oh no, I have tohave two or three because I have
to make sure that I'm drunkenough to pass out.
But little.
And I know that pass out wastechnically a pass out, you're
passing out.
And then you're getting up attwo or three in the morning and
you're wide awake and then youhave to re fall asleep because
you're actually falling asleepat that point.
Then of course I'm still workingin the bars while going to
(06:22):
school but they don't out there,the people that I encountered
out there didn't really drink asmuch as we did here.
So I don't know if anyone elsehas ever experienced that, but
here it was more of a big dealyep, you work, you have drinks,
you get drunk and you go home.
Where at West, they would have adrink or two and then they'd go
home and get up early in themorning and start their day.
(06:42):
It was just a totally differentenvironment.
Yeah.
So it got to a point where I wasdrinking every night Smirnoff
Ice, specifically Smirnoff Ice.
Once I get something in my head,that's it, I stick to that.
Then, Slowly.
I started drinking wine, whitewine.
But then I started to progresseven worse with the white wine.
And I started thinking, okay, Ineed to slow down cuz I had
(07:03):
started drinking it more likejuice, And the red wine would
make me a little bit slower,drink it a little bit slower
which was better.
But then it was white wine orred wine, that escalated,
completely escalated to a bottleof bottle and a half an night.
Wow.
The odd time, the very odd timeI could do a magnet to myself
and I was still weighing thesame amount as I did.
(07:26):
in high school
Lindsey (07:26):
That's crazy.
Because that was my drink.
Loved red wine.
Yeah.
I was never somebody that drankevery day.
So I would just feel like crapthe next day.
But I would drink a bottle forsure.
I always would say once thatcork was out, I didn't keep it,
I tossed it in the garbage, cuzwhat's the point?
I'm gonna drink the bottle.
Yeah.
And then I would open a secondbottle most drinking nights,
(07:50):
which would either be Friday orSaturday.
And I would have one to twoglasses out of that bottle, but
I would feel like shit the nextday.
Were you ever blacking out?
Yep.
So I got to a point where Istarted blackout.
Yeah.
It started to make me nervousbecause at that point when I
started to black out, I had juststarted my business and it's a
(08:12):
senior care company.
And I was like, what if I see aclient one day and not
necessarily their family orwhatever, and I say something
stupid, that just ruins my wholecredibility right there.
That was really a major concernof mine.
So that was one of the thingsthat made me wanna quit
drinking.
I was blacking out, I got to apoint where I would have two
(08:33):
glasses of wine before I wentout, or three with my
girlfriends, and then I'd go andI'd have more drinks and then I
would come home and make surethat there was always one glass,
still at least one glass.
For me to be able to go to sleepat night.
Wow.
I didn't need that glass, but Ijust, psychologically I needed
to know that it was there as asecurity so I'd come home and
(08:54):
I'd drink even more and then I'dget even more drunk and I'd pass
out.
But it's funny how, when I quitdrinking, the amount of people
that said to me, oh, I didn'trealize you were that bad.
And I was like, yeah, I got thattoo.
Yeah.
Some of them were worse than Iwas, but still it doesn't
matter.
It just
Caroline (09:09):
yeah, nobody thought that I was, it was controlling
my life that much.
I started getting actuallydepressed.
I remember when my friends wouldsay, okay, we're gonna go out
tonight.
And I was like, oh, no.
It was like, I've already hadthe anxiety, already knew that
something was gonna happen, thatI was gonna black out and I was
actually going to AA for awhile.
And I was with my brother cuzhe's a recovering alcoholic, so
(09:31):
he's gonna be eight years soberin December.
And I am seven in September.
So I was still drinking.
Yeah, thanks.
I was still drinking while hewas going through this whole
process.
I had said to him, I'm worriedcause I'm blacking out.
He's was on a way worse levelthan I ever was.
And he was sitting beside me andsome guy was talking on the
stage and he was telling hisstory.
(09:53):
He goes, when you black out,you're an alcoholic.
And my brother turned to me andhe goes, that's you.
Oh.
And I, I remember that feelingof oh my God, you're an
alcoholic.
And I knew already cause I'dalready admitted it, but I
didn't need him to tell me thatI was an alcoholic because he
was worse than I was.
So it was like that whole,chills down my entire body.
I was like, okay.
(10:13):
That's it.
Yeah, I already knew, and wealready talked about it, but
just for him to tell me that Iwas like, okay, so this is it.
Yeah.
So then I was supposed to quitSeptember 1st that year, and
then I pushed it out toSeptember 10th.
Lindsey (10:28):
I went out and got really drunk with one of my
girlfriends and then came homeand that was it.
That was it.
I was 37 at that point.
Tracey (10:36):
Okay.
Okay.
But 10 years earlier?
I'd say I was 30 because I wasliving in Vancouver at that
point.
And I remember we had gone out,my cousin slept over at my house
and two of my other girlfriendswent out with one of my
girlfriends her fiance, and hehad bought us like all this
wine, took us up for a reallyfancy dinner and got so drunk.
And I woke up the next morningand I said to my cousin, one
day, I'm never gonna drinkagain.
(10:57):
And I meant that,
Lindsey (10:57):
wow.
I meant it, my stomach, I knewit was like my gut was saying to
me one day, this is not gonnahappen anymore.
So I was 30 and then it stuck inmy head after that.
And so that was it.
I slowly started looking upbecause I had my own business.
I started looking up people thatwere successful that don't
drink.
Wow.
Yeah.
Kelly (11:17):
You needed to see it.
Yeah, like Kim Kardashiandoesn't drink J Lo doesn't drink
they do periodically, butthey're not every night like I
was, and so I'd constantlylooking at people that were
successful that didn't drink butI did that for years.
Years until I said, that's it.
I'm done.
And then when I quit, I criedmyself to sleep for three weeks.
Lindsey (11:37):
Oh, wow.
My gosh.
Yeah.
Because I felt like I lost afriend.
Yes.
Like it was like, that canrelate.
That thing was always there forme no matter what.
If I was in a good mood, badmood.
I'm never really in a bad mood,but it just, whatever I was
feeling, if I was sad orwhatever it was there.
Yeah.
Then I lost that friend.
Kelly (11:55):
Yeah.
I talked about that on thepodcast about how it shocked me
that the grief hit me.
Yeah.
And I asked somebody and I said,is this a thing?
Is grief after quitting drinkinga thing?
They were like for sure that wasyour best friend.
And it just made so much sense.
But it shocked me to feel that.
Caroline (12:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (12:12):
It's funny.
I felt like that when I quitsmoking.
Yeah.
I didn't feel like that so muchwhen I quit drinking.
But I felt like that when I quitsmoking, I went through like a
depression.
Kelly (12:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (12:22):
See, and I would take cigarettes back.
I quit when I was 30.
I would take that back any day.
Like I love cigarettes.
But alcohol, I could care asmuch, like I like, yeah.
But the cigarettes, I criedmyself to sleep with the
alcohol, but with thecigarettes, I had the patch, so
I just felt like a little bit ofrage every now and again.
But like I was okay for the mostpart, with the cigarettes
(12:45):
though, if my friends go up forcigarettes, I still go out with
them.
Yeah.
I never provide myself to that.
Just if my friends, we all go upfor drink.
I say let's go for drinks.
Even though I don't drink, butwe'll go for drinks and I have
my soda water or my VirginCaesar and I'm fine, I just
didn't deprive myself of that.
But yeah, for me, that was mybest friend.
That was there.
Yeah, I always relied on it,wow.
(13:05):
I think what you said aboutpeople not thinking you drank
that much or that you had aproblem, I think part of that is
to do with the fact that a lotof us drink in secret almost.
A lot of our drinking or thebulk of our drinking when we're
on our own.
Cuz I know that was like me too.
And I could go out with myfriends that didn't drink and
not drink while I was out withthem, but then I would come home
(13:28):
and have wine.
Lindsey (13:29):
I was the same Tracey.
I would almost be annoyed thatI'd have to go out and socialize
because I'm like, I just wannago home and put my comfy pants
on.
And open my bottle of wine thatI know is waiting for me there
and watch Netflix and eat awheel of brie.
Leave me a lot of money.
You know what I mean?
Kelly (13:50):
Yeah.
It was, I, towards the end, likefor sure I did most of my
drinking at home.
Didn't even really go out asmuch anymore.
But if there was somewhere thatthere wasn't a lot of alcohol or
people weren't drinking the wayI did, there was always wine
waiting for me at home.
Always.
Yeah.
Yeah, I made sure of it.
Caroline, there's a lot of yourstory I can relate to, but I am
amazed at how self-aware youwere at such a young age your
(14:14):
early twenties and you knew youhad a problem.
I was like I thought everybodywas drinking the way I was
drinking.
I was so wrong, but yeah.
That's amazing.
Has anybody ever,
Mike (14:22):
but were you wrong?
What?
There's a lot of, oh, that'ssuch a good point's success
right now.
Kelly (14:28):
No, people were not drinking the way I thought every
single person that I was outwith was drinking the way that I
was.
And that's not true.
They weren't, I was the blackoutqueen, whatever.
But have have you talked aboutthat before in your business or
have people pointed that out toyou before that you're super
self-aware at such a young age?
Caroline (14:45):
No, no one's ever pointed that out.
But actually no.
The dermatologist, when I wentto go see him like years ago, he
had said to me, he said yougotta stop tanning.
I said I quit tanning in thetanning bed a long time ago,
like in my early thirties.
Now I do the spray tans.
And then I quit smoking when Iwas 30.
But like he said to me, you wereyoung when you did that.
Because normally people do thatin their forties.
(15:06):
They start to reassesseverything and go, okay, no, I
can't be smoking like thisanymore.
I can't be drinking like this.
It's more of an older age thatyou like you wake up.
But yeah, I guess that was theonly person that's ever pointed
out to me yeah.
It was
Mike (15:18):
sounds like you were planting seeds along the way,
like you just I think, yeah.
Now that I look back at it,yeah, absolutely.
I would talk about it and Iremember saying to another
friend, too, one day, I'm nevergonna drink again.
It was like in my gut, I knewbecause it really, it bothered
me that I was like this, like,why am I so dependent on this?
Why am I, my whole life revolvedaround it.
See, I would've never have beenable to go out with people that
(15:39):
didn't drink like that.
Wouldn't have same, it wouldn'tworked for me.
Subconscious is just, trying toguide you and tell you.
And if you listen, like youdefinitely listened.
Yeah.
You just kept going and pushingyourself.
I think that's what a lot ofpeople's journey is about.
Are you listening to the voice,right?
Yeah.
I always reference the littlevoice, the, it's in your ear,
(16:00):
you're listening to it becauseit's trying to tell you
something.
Yeah.
It totally is.
Years ago, my brother's sober.
He's eight years sober.
And yeah.
Cause I'm gonna be seven andthen my best friend was a drug
addict and he passed away in2019.
So that's where I had thought,said to myself years ago that if
something happens, either one ofthem, that I would get into
working with people withaddiction.
(16:22):
Wow.
And that's where I got to therecovery coach because I had
promised myself I would dosomething along the lines.
Then I was told about thisrecovery coach, sober coach
role.
That's where I got into.
Working with this, cuz I made ita promise.
Yeah.
So what was your business storybefore that?
Senior care.
Okay.
So helping seniors.
Yeah.
Tracey (16:43):
You were in that caregiving kind of type of role
as it was.
Yeah,
Caroline (16:47):
so I couldn't lose my license.
I couldn't do anything I wasrestricted and I know so many
people where I live, so I didn'twanna run into anybody and say
anything else stupid I didn'twanna ruin any business for
myself, so that was a big dealfor me to stay, to get sober.
For sure.
Yeah.
That's a big motivation.
Yeah, I think it is common formost people.
(17:07):
I know Mike has spoken about itand I think the girls have too I
know we've all talked about howwe had those moments of.
I don't wanna drink anymore.
And it took us a long time toactually get to the place where
we weren't.
But I know for myself similar toyou looking at people that, were
successful and didn't drink.
(17:27):
I started doing stuff, likelistening to podcasts about
drinking and stuff like that.
Listening to The Naked Mind,preparing myself before I quit.
As inspiration, because I knewthat was the path that I wanted
to take too.
It was just a matter of gettingmyself there.
It's funny that you said thatbecause for me, I was looking up
those people, but I wasn'treally thinking I was gonna, I
(17:48):
had said it, I was gonna quitdrinking, but I wasn't thinking
I'm gonna quit drinking.
You know what I mean?
I wasn't putting the twotogether.
Yeah.
So when I was ready, I just,okay, that was it.
I did it.
You just had to jump right intoit.
Even if I was hungover, itdidn't matter.
I was still drinking the nextday.
I don't know about any of youguys, but I was still drinking.
I was still doing what?
(18:08):
I still had to sleep at night,so
Tracey (18:11):
I didn't get really bad hangovers.
So that definitely didn't determe from drinking the next day.
Caroline (18:17):
Okay.
I did, as I got older, I did andI would eat like poutine every
time
Kelly (18:24):
we've talked about that.
Caroline (18:26):
P tried to train and to
Kelly (18:28):
nourish my hangover with a green smoothie to start, but
always ended up eating fries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And then knowing that the onlything that was gonna make the
hangover go away was more booze.
Yeah.
I can relate to your not beingable to go to sleep without
alcohol.
I always made sure I had alcoholand if for some reason I didn't
drink that night, I was drink,like I was Yeah.
Drinking
Caroline (18:49):
night.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I've done that.
NyQuil and wine.
Yeah.
I just said to my old roommatethe other day we're still
friends obviously.
We were walking and we were inToronto and I said, do you
remember when we used to drinkNyQuil and drink wine at the
same time?
And she goes, really?
I don't remember that.
I'm like, oh yeah.
And whose idea was that?
That was mine.
Cause I like that little buzz,that little right before you go
(19:09):
to sleep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it was, right?
The buzz before you go to sleep.
It's like when you takemelatonin too, kinda like that.
It gives you the tiny little bitof that feeling as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, I still take every day.
Tracey (19:25):
So were you never a good sleeper or you just found that
became your norm when youstarted drinking?
Or you got that in your head?
Caroline (19:33):
I got it in my head.
I think it was allpsychological.
Yeah, I honestly think it wasall psychological because I
sleep just fine.
And I feel like I, I did beforeyeah, I think I just stuck it in
my head.
It was part of the disease,thinking that no, I need this to
get by today.
Like going before I go to themall, I need to have a bottle of
Smirnoff Ice.
I didn't need that, but in myhead I thought I did.
Tracey (19:54):
Yeah.
Cuz I, I would say I slept a lotbetter when I stopped drinking.
Oh
Caroline (19:59):
yes.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Because you have a real sleep,like you're actually sleeping.
You're actually Yeah,
Tracey (20:04):
exactly.
It's not rest.
Resting your body.
Yeah.
It's not disruptive.
Mike (20:09):
Do you guys have dreams when you, when you drank?
Caroline (20:12):
Yeah.
Like how do you mean remember?
Kelly (20:15):
How do you mean?
Yeah.
Lindsey (20:16):
I don't remember dreaming at all.
Cause I was usually blacked outand not remembering even going
to bed.
But I just had a dream.
Actually, I just told a friendthis.
I was on a work trip and I wokeup.
I had a dream that I was sodrunk.
Oh, this I'm having a lot ofthese.
This is gonna be, this Decemberwill be four years alcohol free.
Caroline (20:36):
Good for you.
Yeah.
Lindsey (20:37):
Thanks.
But it's like I'm having a lotof wasted dreams where I was
really drunk in this dream.
I was at a hotel and somebodykept saying, you're so wasted.
And I was acting like I wasn't,but I knew that I was, and I
could feel that feeling in mydream of me acting like an
idiot.
I was like, oh my God.
So I have dreams now.
Kelly (20:58):
I've had those.
Yeah.
They're awful.
I haven't had one for a longtime.
Yeah.
But they're the worst.
Mike (21:03):
So you did.
I never had dream, like I didn'thave dreams for 10 years,
easily.
I think it was.
Lindsey (21:09):
Why do you think that is?
Because you were drinking,
Kelly (21:11):
you don't go into the REM sleep
Mike (21:12):
because of the the alcohol and weed.
Yeah.
Oh, think the excessive weed.
Mixture with alcohol.
Yeah.
Put my dream on pause.
But I have crazy dreams now.
Like ridiculous.
Yeah.
Me what you're saying, Liz, but
Caroline (21:31):
What
Lindsey (21:32):
like some real vivid ones and you're like, oh my God.
They're like movies.
I'm like, who wrote this stuff?
This is crazy.
That movie.
Mike (21:40):
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
What kinda movies Kelly.
Kelly (21:45):
They don't even make any sense.
Actually we should do a dreamanalysis episode, but I'm always
in a hotel or a mall or like aconference center.
No.
And I'm always like not always,but I al also have luggage
dreams a lot, which,interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Baggage.
Yeah.
(22:06):
Yeah.
Caroline (22:07):
Do you look them up afterwards?
Yeah, I do.
Obsessively.
Kelly (22:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (22:11):
I'm, I do the same thing whenever I dream I, I
always look it up yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
But yeah, like that
Kelly (22:16):
when we're drinking, we don't get that rem sleep, so we
don't get into that deep statewhere we do get to dream.
Yeah.
Tracey (22:24):
I always find it funny that people smoke weed to sleep
well, I never sleep well,anytime I've ever smoked weed,
it gives me anxiety.
Yeah.
People say that.
Yeah, I don't think it reallyagrees with me, that's why it's
good.
It's never been my thing, butthe few times that I have done
it I'm like, I don't even knowwhat you guys are talking about.
I don't sleep well and then Iwake up and actually for me,
(22:47):
smoking weed is worse thanwaking up hungover cause Oh
really?
I wake up and I have zeromotivation.
Weed was the hangover cure forme.
That's probably how I was ableto drink.
Four to five nights a week andgo to work.
Wow.
It was like, oh my God.
It was the first thing I reachedfor, as pathetic as it is, it's
(23:07):
just, it was like, yeah.
I did smoke weed for a bit, butnot I never really got, it was
alcohol.
It was a hundred percent alcoholfor me.
Yeah.
Lindsey (23:18):
I just wanted to know so when you quit, did you ever
have a slip up or drink againafter that?
And what did you do to keepyourself sober and stay on
track?
I worked out, so I worked out, Iwent to this the gym.
I kept myself busy with that andI didn't have a slip up.
(23:38):
And in that time, since I'vebeen sober, I lost my best
friend due to a drug overdose.
saw him dead on the kitchenfloor.
But I chose to see him deadbecause I needed to register.
And then my dog, that was mybaby died and then my ex and I
split up.
The only time out of all thatwas when my ex and I split up
(24:00):
that I really felt like I neededa drink.
I just kept on thinking of mywhy.
Why do I not drink?
Because I don't wanna get intothat.
I would've been way worse.
Yeah, at this point right now, Iwouldn't be here at this point
in my life, it would, I would bestill drinking and it would be
awful.
It was a choice.
Either I go down that rabbithole and get really drunk and
(24:22):
get depressed, or I just try andfight it.
And that's what I did.
So that's the only time in theseven years.
Because I was really distraughtover that breakup.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
You know what it was a differentfrom my friend dying was he was
dead and he I knew he loved me.
It was a totally differentfeeling, and he was gone,
(24:43):
whereas this one was still aliveand just chose not to be with
me.
So that was, that's a wholedifferent feeling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a lot to process thosefeelings without numbing them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Caroline (24:57):
Yeah.
That was the first time I had todo that.
Yeah.
Tracey (25:00):
Yeah.
I've had that experience sinceI've been sober.
Just having very hurt feelingsand then trying to process them
and really fighting that kind offeeling of wanting them to just
go away, which would benaturally why I would drink.
Yeah.
Caroline (25:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mike (25:19):
That's part of the growth is that you.
You go through it, you sit withthose feelings that you never
sat through.
It's, it sucks shit.
It really does.
Yeah.
And I think it's, and I don'tspeak for anybody else, but I
think we've all kind of beenthere in certain levels and,
whether it's losing a friend, arelationship whatever it is we
have to go through, you have toride through it.
(25:41):
Cuz those temptations are thereto say, deal with it tomorrow,
come visit me.
Yeah.
I went golfing on the weekendwith some guys and it's, Hey, I
miss old Mike.
I've told you guys this before.
And it's I just look at them andI laugh and it's a challenge.
It's a challenge to sit thereand say, what's one beer?
Like?
What's one beer?
(26:01):
And it's to me it's one beer isright now.
It's not the end of the world,but it took a lot to get to this
point.
Why do you want, and would it beone beer, Mike?
No, that's the thing too, right?
I dunno.
Honestly, I think I had one beerand I'd be on my ass.
I used to smoke weed when Igolfed cuz I would focus, you
couldn't distract me.
(26:22):
I would be focused looking atthe ball again.
Okay.
I tell myself one, two backthrough or whatever, and now I
have to go through the voices inmy head like, oh, don't hit it.
Oh know, don't stub the ball.
I'll shut up.
I just want to swing and hit theball.
Those things, it's, I don'tknow, part of me is like, what
would it be like to be honestwith you, but I haven't done it.
(26:44):
So
Lindsey (26:45):
Do you ever miss it?
Anybody on the podcast here?
Do you ever miss the feeling of,I don't know.
Cuz when I used to drink, I usedto like that first drink.
It's oh, okay.
I'm relaxing.
But then it's at a certain pointit turns, but sometimes if I'm
honest I've even said this onthe podcast sometimes I miss it.
Would I ever do it again?
(27:05):
I feel like I've come to a pointwhere I know my answer is no.
Mike (27:09):
Yeah.
I can't say that.
And we've talked about thisbefore.
I just don't know.
I think so, but I don't know.
We all talked about duringCovid, every single person was
like, I'm drinking too much.
Oh my God.
Immense amount of people werelike, how do you get through
this whole lockdown scenarioswithout drinking?
It's I don't know.
I just,
Caroline (27:29):
I feel my feelings.
Kelly (27:30):
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't miss drinking atall, and I'm grateful, I just
find at least one moment everyday to be grateful that I don't
have alcohol in my life anymore.
And my intention is to never,ever drink again.
I've worked really hard on thiswhole alcohol free thing and I
don't want it to go away.
It's pretty, pretty beautiful.
Mike (27:50):
What about you Carolyn?
No, I'm good.
I'm got done but the only thingI miss, sometimes, I'm dating
now, right?
So it's hard because oh, here wego.
A lot of guys my favorite,second favorite topic, yay.
Oh, these girls love you forbringing this.
Caroline (28:05):
Sorry, I got two things against me.
I want kids still and Yep.
I, yeah, and I don't drink, soit's like guys my age don't
technically want kids unlessI've got one that's that has
probably hasn't had in years.
Is a total family guy in schoolhaving five or six.
Also I don't drink so quiteoften if they find out I don't
drink, they're gone.
(28:26):
They are gone within a second.
Wow.
Can we ask how old you are?
I'm 44, so yeah, so guys my agedon't necessarily wanna have
kids and I've noticed that, I'llsay to them all I don't drink,
and then with I'm on the datingsites and then all of a sudden
I'm deleted.
So it is what it is.
I feel you, I'm in the sameboat.
Yeah.
(28:46):
It's brutal.
Tracey (28:47):
I did say to a girlfriend the other day that I
am happy that I drank through mydaughter being a toddler and
dating.
Yeah.
Because I swear I survived thosetwo things because of drinking
at the time.
Yeah.
But other than that, I don'tmiss it.
(29:07):
I think it's the best decisionI've ever made in my life and I
find many opportunities to showme why I made that decision.
I just had one recently and Icouldn't have been happier that,
I wasn't drinking anymore andthat wasn't my life.
Caroline (29:24):
Yeah.
I actually drink the fake wine.
So I go to Fortinos or toSobey's.
I might run after this to go getsome, but it's just the fake red
wine and it tastes exactly likered wine no way I shouldn't be
doing it because technicallywhen you quit drinking, you
shouldn't be doing it.
But it's that's says who though.
Yeah, exactly.
Lindsey (29:42):
I was gonna say no, don't say that.
You do.
You do.
Yeah.
It's my treat.
It's my treat at the end of thenight.
So I put it in a wine glass andthen I'll go to parties and have
it in a wine glass.
I went to my cousin's babyshower a couple weeks ago and
this couple came in and the guycomes into the house and he goes
to the host.
Can I have a glass of red winefor my wife?
And she goes, yeah, go on thecounter there and go grab some
(30:03):
while He grabbed my red wine soI went up to her later and I go,
that was non-alcoholic red wine.
Just so you know.
And she's really?
She goes, I would've never haveknown.
No.
It tastes just like it.
Now there's new things.
There's gin, there's vodka.
It's all non-alcoholic or going,having mocktails at the bar
instead of having a soda waterlike I do or Virgin Caesar.
(30:24):
There's more options now.
Yeah.
So yeah, now I'm in that habitof going and getting a nice big,
a bottle of wine and I drinkthat I was drinking them like I
was drinking alcohol before, soI was like, okay, I need to slow
down, so stop for a minute.
And now I'll have one glass of.
So unless I'm at a party andthen I'll drink the bottle, it's
okay.
Then I feel included, right?
I feel like I'm a part of theeveryone's except for I don't
(30:47):
get the hangover, which isfantastic.
That's so cool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Tell us a little more about howyour business came about then,
and so was how long you've beendoing that.
Caroline (30:58):
Technically I've been doing it for 20 years cuz I've
been helping people get soberfor that amount of time.
But then I found out about itand I didn't even know that this
was something that you could do,being a recovery coach or a
sober coach.
And then from there I looked itup and got the course ready.
I took a course I actually tookabout three courses and just got
(31:18):
all set up with it.
I did it online, and then I juststarted, now, I'm a recovery
coach, sober coach.
So Rob Ford had a a sober coach.
I don't know if you recall whenhe was going, through his whole
thing, he had a recovery coachand he was in the papers, and I
do recall seeing him.
There's not many in Canada.
There's tons in the states, buthe's been doing that for a long
(31:39):
time.
I did know about it a long timeago, but it didn't click until
it was actually brought to myattention.
I made that promise that I wasgonna help people with this I
know every angle being a familymember with a loved one that is
going through it, me goingthrough it, and then losing my
best friend to it.
I know in all aspects.
I understand it.
(31:59):
What's the process?
The course itself?
Mike (32:02):
Yeah, what's the process for somebody who would use you
for your resources?
They would contact you and whatare they to expect from working
with you?
So what we do is we work out aplan to help them get sober and
stay sober.
So basically it's an everydaything, I'll go to AA meetings,
na meetings with them, I'll doall that stuff.
(32:22):
I'm their support.
And then there's other like acompanion where you can go to
like events, if they feel likethey're gonna have a slip up
they would have me as their datein a sense, and to be there to
stop them from having thattemptation to drink.
The process is they reach out tome and then we go from there.
We work at a plan.
We work at the plan A to getthem sober.
(32:43):
If they need to go into a rehabfacility, we work on that.
And then keep them soberafterwards.
Lindsey (32:49):
So are you meeting with them then, or having calls or
Zoom calls
Caroline (32:53):
or, I'm getting a lot of calls.
Yeah.
Personally for me, I prefer tomeet them in person, so they'll
call first, then we meet inperson.
it's better to meet in personbecause it's more of a
connection, person than being,yeah.
Especially with somebody who'sstruggling, it's just better
that you're there and they cansee you and you share your
story.
I don't have to share my story.
There's little bits and piecesthat I do share with them.
(33:15):
I'm pretty open about it.
I'm on Instagram and I share itthere, but yeah.
So we go through that.
We sit down, we talk aspect.
Yeah, exactly right.
Yeah.
So that, I've been through it,so I know.
I probably don't know everyaspect of what they're going
through, but I do know a greatdeal of it.
Great.
And then we go from there.
Yeah.
Tracey (33:33):
do you find a lot of people reaching out to you are
people trying to get sober?
They know or have acknowledgedthey have a problem and they're
looking for assistance to getsober.
More so than say, people thatneed the support after the fact.
Yeah.
When they need to get sober is,that's it.
When their wife has left them,or the hospital says, listen,
you gotta be very carefulbecause you're walking on
(33:55):
eggshells now.
So it's at that point they callme quite often, they'll call me
and I don't hear from them.
I'm not chasing after them.
They have to wanna do this.
Yeah.
So I'll wait for them to call meand I'll be there.
I've learned to this is my life.
And if I have plans at night andsomeone calls me and needs my
help.
That's how it's gonna work.
I'm gonna be there for them.
This is what I'm giving up in mylife to do.
(34:16):
So That's amazing.
I know, how crucial it is thatlike, when they've made that
decision, it's gotta be doneright now.
Let's go ahead and let's getthem started.
Yeah.
I'm curious if you continued onwith the 12 step meetings.
Did you go through that wholeprogram?
I did a year.
Okay.
And then I was like I needed abreak.
I was good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I would like to go back.
(34:36):
I'm starting to slowly go back.
My schedule is still crazy rightnow, so, I haven't had a chance,
but I wanna start to get backinto it maybe twice a week
because I went back, a friend ofmine who's trying to sober her
up.
We went in Toronto, and I wentand I was like, huh.
It was just, it felt good to bethere.
Because they talked about beinga dry drunk, and I was like, oh.
Maybe I am, it's it's just thoselittle things of you're still
(34:59):
those mannerisms of being drunkand like an addict, but you're
not drinking.
I could see that in myself andit's just a good reminder to get
yourself grounded again and belike, okay.
Yep.
I need to do this.
Yeah.
So I definitely wanna go back.
Kelly (35:14):
Cool.
Yeah, no, I was just curious.
That's one of the reasons why wedecided to do this podcast was
just a lot of people, Thinkthat's the only way to do it.
So we've talked to so manydifferent people that have taken
so many different paths.
So I was just curious, but I hadthat moment that you had with
your brother in that meeting.
I had a girlfriend take me to myfirst meeting, and it did happen
(35:35):
to be my only meeting, but stillthe realization.
I remember going through my headlike, oh my God, girl, you got
yourself here.
This is where you are.
Yes, you are in a churchbasement at an AA meeting.
It was a big eye opener for me.
Yeah.
I could relate to that part ofyour story.
I remember the chills, like allday morning.
I was like, oh, I was so mad athim.
(35:56):
Like I was mad at him, but Iwasn't mad at him.
Yeah.
You were mad at yourself.
That's it.
Frustration myself.
Yeah, she's Okay.
Fine.
Yeah.
So yeah.
What a great way for you toserve the recovery community to
be a coach.
That's awesome.
Caroline (36:13):
Yeah.
A couple months ago, I started agrief group as well for people
that have lost something due todrugs and alcohol.
Because when my friend died, Ireached out to a lot of people
and there wasn't much out there.
Because I wasn't a relative Ihad people say to me we can't
help you cuz you're not blood.
You're not his sibling orwhatever, or his wife.
No, no way.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
You're not his wife.
I can't help you.
(36:33):
So I called because his brotherand I wanted to go together
because his brother was reallystruggling with it.
So they said we can help hisbrother, but we can't help you.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and I called I reputableplaces, and this is what I got
back in return.
I started Monday meetings forpeople grieving and dealing with
this, because you're goingthrough this way beforehand,
(36:53):
right?
You're dealing with somebodywho's an addict and then
afterwards you have to deal withthem die, so it's like you have
got the be before and after.
I started that on Monday nights,and I stopped in the new year,
but I think I'm gonna start backup again because I think it's so
important that there is somebodyfor people to talk to.
Yeah.
There's such a stigmatism.
I went to therapy shortly afterhe had died it was a group
(37:15):
therapy and there people wereall passing away from cancer.
So when I would tell my story,they were like, oh it was and I
kept on saying he was reallyeducated and he was really good
with his money, and it's Ishouldn't have to make those say
that.
No.
I shouldn't be a part of anyprocess.
Yeah.
So I'd like to start that backup again.
Monday nights.
Yeah.
That's great.
Tracey (37:33):
That's great.
Yeah.
I agree with you that there'sprobably not a lot out there.
I lost my stepbrother toaddiction too.
Actually, interesting, itwould've been his 40th birthday
last week, and, I know mystepdad has still obviously
struggles with it being his son.
Yeah, I don't think there is alot of support out there for
(37:55):
people going through that.
You're right.
So good for you to think of thatand provide that as well.
Yeah.
It's a hard process, right?
Are you finding that a lot ofpeople that are coming to you
for help are similar in thesense that maybe, They think
their drinking is normal orpeople think that they don't
really have a problem or whatkind of area are they at in
(38:17):
their life?
Or are they really just hit rockbottom?
Caroline (38:20):
I think a lot of the times that someone else has told
them, listen, you gotta stopdrinking.
And that's why they're notcalling me back.
Those ones are not calling backbecause they're calling me
because someone else told themto call me.
And they say, I need help.
I need help.
And then, okay, awesome.
I'm here to help you, butthey're not ready.
They haven't hit rock bottomrock do it for themselves.
They can never do it forsomebody else.
(38:41):
Yeah.
That's why I don't call them, Idon't chase them because if I do
that, then that's not doing themany favors it's more like they
need to call me and then wannado this.
Right now some of'em are callingand they don't call back.
they have to be ready,honorable.
I think two people are scared,right?
I think sometimes you're scaredto change, too, scared to
change, and you're scared of ohmy God, how am I gonna live
without this substance?
(39:02):
I can't visualize how life isgonna be without it, and I don't
know if I really wanna give itup.
Am I ready for that?
The social part of it.
Everyone drinks.
Yeah.
Their friends are drinking andwhat am I gonna do?
Am I to sit at home?
No, you don't need to do that.
I go out with my friends andsometimes I'll stay up till two
in the morning with them.
Not always, but yeah, for sure.
You know what I mean?
Kelly (39:19):
I think some of our listeners would like to hear
that part of your story that youare still really social and you
do still go out.
It doesn't sound like you missmuch, and I think that is a big
fear, like Lindsay's saying,there's a lot of fear around it
and a fear that you're gonnamiss having fun.
When I quit drinking, I wasworried that I would be, I was
part of the Chamber of Commerceand I was not shy, but I was
(39:41):
never shy in my life, but I wasmore Worried about approaching,
when I drank, at least I feltthat I was more relaxed and I
could approach people more.
I was part of the Chamber ofCommerce.
They have those business nightsand then you can go and just
Hey, how are you?
Blah, blah, blah.
But I find that it took a littlebit of time and now I'm totally
fine.
I can do that to with people.
Whereas I wouldn't have done itso much before.
(40:02):
I would've had to have a drinkbefore to go and socialize with
people.
You just have to get through therough patch and then you can get
to this part in your life.
I have more of a social life nowthan I've ever had.
And it gives you confidence.
Doing all this work and doingall it gives you the confidence
to just be whoever you'resupposed to be in any situation.
(40:23):
That's what
Caroline (40:23):
it does.
It does.
Because I'm self-consciousbefore, I was drinking, I was
feeling for sure.
And now I'm like, No, I'm good.
I don't need to worry about whatI'm gonna say tonight.
What I'm gonna do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Am I gonna embarrass?
Kelly (40:37):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Tracey (40:39):
Yeah, you can also discover along the way that your
interests are in differentthings, that maybe your
interests isn't to be out at thebar with your friends all the
time.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
I think I am by nature a moreintroverted person, although I
can be extroverted as well.
But I think that I've resortedback to being more introverted.
(41:00):
I was more introverted before Istarted drinking, and I think
naturally that's who I am.
The drinking may be moreextroverted, and I think it's
okay that I'm don't have to bethat person all the time.
Yeah.
And sometimes we're drinkingbecause we're doing things that
aren't in alignment with who wereally are.
Yeah.
We're around people we're notreally supposed to be around,
(41:20):
yeah.
Yeah.
Did you find that you lost a lotof friends when you quit
drinking?
Lindsey (41:24):
Naturally, I didn't wanna hang out with people that
I was naturally people, not justalcohol, but my whole personal
growth.
My marriage ended a year after Iquit drinking.
So just the natural process ofmy whole healing thing, not just
the alcohol.
Yes.
People left and I also chose toleave situations.
I found that people would belike, oh, I'm only drinking
(41:44):
this.
making excuses around me.
I was like I'm choosing to dothis for myself.
Yes, for me, it was actually athree month plan that it was
supposed to be, and then I endup, someone said to me you might
as well make it life changingand just keep going.
And that's why I kept on going.
But people would be like, oh no,I'm only drinking this much.
And I said, I don't care whatyou drink, I'm doing this for
me.
And I found that my friends thatdrank didn't call me so much.
(42:04):
Yes.
Now they do, because I still,again, I'm like social, so they
see that I'm not staying at homeand stuff like that.
So they're okay with, us goingout and I don't judge them.
I don't care if they drink,that's up to them.
They can make that decision ontheir own.
Yeah.
Kelly (42:19):
Yeah.
Lindsey (42:21):
When I think back to me quitting drinking I was
listening to a lot of podcaststoo, or reading books.
I started to get curious atfirst, but I think.
The easy part in this process isquitting the substance or
reducing the amount that youdrink.
But the hard part is recreatingyour life to not include the
(42:43):
substance and then filling itwith things that excite you or,
spark curiosity and, help yourealize what your dreams are.
When I quit, I didn't even thinkabout, contacting a recovery
coach, but I think that's wheresomeone like you would come in,
is to help somebody see, okay,we're gonna reduce or quit the
substance.
(43:04):
That can be the easy partsometimes, but then it's now
what?
I think that's what holds peopleback from actually quitting
because they're like wait, what?
What am I gonna do?
Caroline (43:13):
Yeah, I think it's just that scary thought of oh my
God, I'm never gonna drinkagain.
So I just tell people think ofit, it's one minute at a time.
You can't jump the gun becausethat's gonna make you wanna go
back to drinking.
You have to just take it onestep at a time, one minute at a
time.
Yeah.
You don't look at it like, oh myGod, this is never gonna happen
again, because yeah.
It might never happen again.
And really, to be honest withyou, it doesn't really matter.
(43:34):
It really doesn't matter.
It's just that you're in a panicat that moment in time.
So yes.
Sometimes a thought of things isworse than actually doing it.
Yeah.
Lindsey (43:42):
For sure.
That's for sure.
I think it's good too, you'vegot professional, you've got the
course and all of that behindyou, but you're also a peer,
you're somebody that's gonethrough this.
Yeah.
So you've got like the bothperspectives on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On every angle having a siblingthat's an alcoholic, I'm myself
and losing somebody.
So yeah.
(44:03):
The experience I didn't reallywanna have, but I'm glad I
didn't have it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's beneficial and whatyou're doing though, people
wanna know that you can relateand understand where they're
coming from, right?
Yeah.
I think it would be hard to takesomeone's advice if it was
coming from someone who hadnever drank or had that
experience, right?
Yeah.
So true.
(44:23):
I'm sure your experience reallyhelps when you're working with
people.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (44:29):
Where can people get in touch with you, and what kind of
services are you actuallyoffering?
The recovery coach, sober coach.
Basically, like I said, we workat a plan to get people sober,
stay sober.
I'll go to NA meetings, AAmeetings, we'll sit down and
discuss however they wanna work.
And then if they have to go intoa recovery facility, then I will
(44:50):
help them get into that as well.
How they can reach me is on mywebsite would be probably the
best is www.soberme.
ca.
And then you can always emailme.
I'm having issues in my emailaddress right now, but it's
caroline@soberme.ca and I'm onInstagram as well, soberme.ca on
Instagram anyone can reach outto me there too.
(45:11):
And just follow my story aswell.
Okay, perfect.
We'll put all that in our shownotes so people know how to get
ahold of you.
So you're doing primarilyone-on-one type of stuff then?
No meetings or anything likethat, other than the grief
group.
Is it a group that you startedyeah, so I was doing that.
I haven't started back up again,but I'm going to within the next
(45:31):
couple of weeks get it going.
But yes, all one-on-one, okay.
Okay.
Confidential, nobody needs toknow.
No one gets told anything.
It's just between myself and theclient and yeah, we'll go from
there.
Okay.
That's great.
Thanks for joining us, Caroline.
Caroline (45:47):
Thank you for having me.
I really enjoyed this.
This is good.
That's awesome.
Oh yeah.
Mike (45:51):
I knew, like I said, way back when we first met.
We met through my sisterindirectly and we had mutual
friends and then we talked onetime and it was like, I
honestly, I was like, wait asecond.
What?
You don't drink?
I swear to you I thought hedoesn't drink like everybody
drinks, but then.
And I was going on a trip toArizona to play baseball and I
(46:17):
don't think the thought startedthere, but ironically, three
years later when I went to thatsame trip was the last hurrah
for me.
And I came back and I drankevery freaking day and I
thought, I can't do thisanymore.
I actually was cleaning my phoneout about a month ago cuz it
said no memory.
And I started deleting photosand videos.
I would look at them before Idelete them.
(46:39):
There was a video that I took atthat Arizona trip.
I was so drunk and I was walkinghome from the bar and I was
videotaping the sidewalk as Iwas walking there, cough sirens.
In Scottsdale Arizona.
It was just my feet, just downthe sidewalk.
And I thought, oh, that'sprobably a good indication that
it's time to have given it up,yeah.
Kelly (46:58):
I always think we're meant to see those things, those
little things.
Yes.
What's that Kel?
I always think we're meant tosee those things.
Mike (47:05):
Thousand percent?
Yeah.
Oh no.
A thousand percent.
Yeah.
And some of the old photos arestill out there that are, old
trips.
I'm sure everybody's got thoseand those are good to have
because you know what, you'reallowed to live, you lived your
life back then, and you can't beashamed of every single moment
of your life.
No, my God, you wouldn't be whoyou are without some of those
moments.
So take the good with the badand it's, you can conquer stuff.
(47:28):
It's amazing what you can do.
And if you've got a person likeCaroline, that can be helpful.
Kelly (47:33):
There you go.
Whoa.
It's funny that you say that,Mike, because I remember saying
to somebody once I wasted somany years in the bar drinking
I'm so mad.
And she was like, yeah, but youhad a lot of fun.
Still, to me that was a waste oftime, but I wouldn't be where
I'm at today without drinkingthe way that I did.
Yeah.
I would be able to be doing thiswithout having done that.
(47:54):
So Yeah.
And it's like just an example ofdon't ever look back and think,
oh my God.
Why did I do this?
Why did I do that?
It got to you to where you'reat, so I agree.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
A thousand percent.
A thousand, 10000%.
Yeah.
I wouldn't trade any of theDeBry.
There's just no way.
So we all needed that experienceto be who we are today.
Mike (48:18):
Hundred percent.
Thanks for joining us.
It's been great getting to knowa little bit more about you, and
I'm glad you got to meet theLadies of the LAF Life podcast.
Tracey (48:30):
Thanks for joining us, Carolyn.
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate It's a pleasuremeeting you.
Thanks Listeners.
You'll be able to find us on ourInstagram LAF Life podcast and
our Facebook page at Laugh Lifethat's a good Mike.
I like that voice.
,that's great.
This is a new one, Mike.
This isn't going on.
(48:50):
What?
This?
The stripper DJ one.
Mike (48:54):
why?
I'm working strip bar.
I've been to too many stripbars.
What is this one?
Drinking Boring.
Tracey (48:59):
This is like the commercial Mike voice or
something.
Lindsey (49:03):
Wasn't there a nickname?
What was the nickname?
I can't remember.
Didn't, wasn't there like a Oh,it's my alias, it's Wayne
Maplewood.
Yeah.
Yes.
Kelly (49:19):
Thank you, caroline.
Nice meeting.
Yes.
nice meeting you too thank youguys.
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
(49:39):
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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