June 16, 2024 • 36 mins
Season 3 Finale of the LAF Life Podcast is LIVE!
In this episode, we dive into the most surprising benefit of getting sober and explore alternative ways to find and experience relief without alcohol. It's been an incredible journey, and we’re excited to share these insights with you! We also take a walk down memory lane, recapping the amazing guests we've had this season. From inspiring stories to practical tips, each guest brought something unique to our LAF community.
Thank you all for your continued support and for being part of this incredible journey. Tune in now to catch the season finale, and let's keep living alcohol-free together!
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**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:02):
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsey Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF lifepodcast.
This is our season three finale.
(00:47):
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Okay.
How many episodes did we do thisseason?
Tracey (00:53):
28.
This would technically be 29.
Kelly (00:58):
29 smokes.
We've certainly had someinteresting topics and amazing
guests and Wow.
It's been awesome.
So tonight we're going to, chatabout how the season went and
one of the things that came upthat I really thought could use
a little more conversation waswhen we had Lindsay from She
(01:21):
Walks Canada on and she talkedabout relief.
Okay, great.
We talked about all the benefitsand, yeah, your skin's going to
be better, you're going to savemoney, you're going to sleep
better, all of these things.
But what about the relief?
This is something that we'returning to because we've got
these chaotic lives and at theend of the day I know for me, I
(01:41):
didn't know how to wind down.
I was like maxing out all my,everything.
And then I truly believed Ineeded it.
To sleep and for my relief fromthat chaos of all of the things
I was doing.
So I thought it'd be a reallygood conversation to have.
Tracey (01:58):
Yeah, for sure.
And I think like she spoke tothat becomes a fear for people
then, when they think aboutgiving it up or quitting, where
am I going to get my relief?
Like she had mentioned, and Iunderstand that even as someone
who has not drank now for threeyears, there are times where I
struggle with certain emotionsand having a lack of relief.
(02:20):
Per se, or a way to processthem.
That's not the quick fix of justhaving a drink and forgetting
about it.
So it's something that eventhough I'm very solid in my
sobriety, I still struggle withthat because it's more on the
processing of emotions.
Like you said, Kel, the windingdown and, It's not always easy
(02:44):
to find ways to do that thatdon't entail work and some of
the ways that you do that stillrequire effort.
Alcohol always these seems likethe easy way out or the easy way
that doesn't require a lot ofeffort.
Yeah, you can go to the gym,but.
That requires effort.
What about the days you don'tfeel like going to the gym,
(03:05):
right?
Then what's the alternative tothat?
So those scenarios I do runacross and sometimes I still
struggle, right?
Yeah.
And I find that was the hardestpart for me was just sitting in
the feelings.
Instead of trying to find arelief, like what if we could
just sit in them for a bit andjust be angry or sad or,
(03:28):
frustrated, whatever emotionthat is.
Bored.
Yeah.
Boredom.
We don't know how to be boredanymore.
Yeah.
But why is that?
We filled our lives and ourminds and our senses with so
much.
It's like the boredom and thejust sitting in it.
Is foreign to us now, 100%.
Lindsey (03:49):
Fill it with food.
I did it today.
I came home.
I had such a stressful was along day at work.
I had to rush right out of work.
Traffic was insane.
I barely made it to theappointment that I had to be at
and then I was like, I don'teven know if I can be on this
recording tonight.
And I came home and I'm like,I'm starving, but I'm like,
(04:10):
okay, I know protein first, butI still grabbed a bag of chips
and had 20 and then I'm like,what am I doing?
I'm trying to like, unwind.
in a quick way, and I used to doit with wine and food combined.
But now that I don't drink, Istill sometimes find myself
doing the stuffing, theemotional eating.
(04:30):
I'm gonna sit down in front ofthe TV and unwind, but I wanna
be munching on something.
Kelly (04:35):
Yeah.
I know.
The goal isn't to be perfect.
Of course we want healthierways.
And I remember in the beginningbeing like, same thing like.
With the chips and stuff beinglike it's not booze.
Yeah, that's the main thing.
If we've had a really toxicrelationship as I think I did,
like I was definitely addictedin the beginning.
It's you got to do what you gotto do just to not pick up.
(04:58):
I open a bottle of wine.
Like I was like on the Skittlesand bread and all kinds of
stuff.
But I just allowed myself to gothrough that.
Lindsey (05:07):
Yeah.
Kelly (05:08):
Now, like over six years later, my life is different.
My life is very different.
And that happened over time,like a long period of time, I've
built a pretty calm life.
I don't have a lot of stress inmy life.
And that was my decision tojust, do things differently.
Not everybody has that option.
I understand that.
But of course still things comeup.
(05:30):
But I think.
Having a lifestyle or havingpractices and disciplines where
you can manage stress.
So all three of us moving ourbodies, that's a very important
thing to us.
And that I think as far asstress management goes, that is
like number one, move your body.
And then we're learning so muchnow around all that we've
learned on our podcast, aboutthe somatic healing and that's,
(05:55):
body as well.
And so a lot to do with thebody, and breath work just
connecting to your breath takingsome long, deep breaths instead
of.
Drinking, maybe the next thingis chips, one thing at a time,
Tracey (06:08):
it always does amaze me how.
easy it is when you land onsomething, right?
Like taking those deep breathsthen you realize in the moment,
Oh, that was so easy andrefreshing.
And it's same with exercise.
I can't even tell you how much Ifeel like I push so much energy
(06:29):
out physically when I exercise.
Like all that negative energy, Ireally channel when I'm
exercising and not even in anintense way, I could just be on
the treadmill it's almost like aself affirmation of release that
energy.
I repeat that to myself as I'mjust walking on the treadmill or
(06:50):
strolling away on theelliptical.
So it's just a veryconscientious thought process of
pushing out that negative energyand releasing it.
So I think it's being, presentreally right in the present
moment and being very aware ofthat's what you're feeling
within your body and within yourmind, and you want to release it
(07:13):
or get rid of it.
Kelly (07:14):
Yeah, it's like in that moment, it's making a different
choice.
Yeah.
Lindsey (07:18):
I have this basic list and you know what I didn't do
when I got home.
I didn't have a big glass ofwater.
It's are you dehydrated?
Because I feel like a lot of thetimes I love coffee.
I'm still drinking coffee, butit's do I need a nap?
Do I need water?
Am I dehydrated or do I need tomove my body?
Just go through that simplechecklist and if you don't know
(07:39):
which one it is, try them all
Kelly (07:41):
There's an acronym.
I'm sure we've talked about thisbefore, but there's an acronym
in recovery halt, hungry, angry,lonely, tired.
So sometimes if you feel like adrink or if you feel like
numbing out, it could just beone of those things.
Tracey (07:54):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good check in.
Kelly (07:57):
Even just like when we're talking about moving our bodies,
it's not always a workout or ayoga class or a workout class,
walk around the block, just getoutside and walk around the
block, five minutes, 10 minutes.
Yeah, it changes you.
Tracey (08:10):
It is, I think that refreshing feeling of.
outside air, the sun on yourface at this time of year, that
type of thing that yes, even afive minute walk can make a huge
difference.
It's like taking 10 deep breathswhere it's pretty simple and
easy and can be quick.
It's just going to change thedirection for you immediately,
(08:34):
but it's hard sometimes in themoment to think of those things.
And for me with going throughmenopause, one of the things
I've been really challenged withis my energy level.
So sometimes it is harder thannormal on days.
To push myself to go to the gymor motivate myself just because
my energy level is not there andthat's part of menopause too.
(08:54):
We don't handle stress as wellwhen we're in menopause.
We don't process it as welleither.
So when I have a reallystressful day and my job day to
day is stressful and that's anenvironment that I've chose to
put myself in.
So sometimes just managing thaton a day to day.
Energetically, I'm drained somedays, and so I think that's
(09:18):
where I've really seen thechallenge now from time to time,
not doing the easy thing or theeasy way out and trying to find
other things that I know arebetter for me and make me feel
better.
Kelly (09:32):
That's where we build the confidence and the self esteem
is just like in that momentwhere we make a different
choice, to choose not to numbout to, put some kombucha in the
wine glass instead of the wineor, yeah.
Tracey (09:43):
Yeah.
And at the end of the day, weall have been.
alcohol free for long enough torealize all the benefits that
we're reaping from doing thatfor ourselves.
It's easy sometimes to get offtrack and you need to pull
yourself back in and remindyourself of all those things.
(10:04):
Because I might be complainingright now about how menopause is
draining my energy.
But let me tell you, if I wasdrinking, it'd be doing it 10
times.
Worse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to, give myself thatbenefit of the doubt sometimes.
And remind myself.
Kelly (10:18):
kind to ourselves.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people would belike, okay, yeah, that's great.
The other side is great, butyeah, what is my relief?
What is my relief instead of thewine?
I think Lynn's just said trydifferent things.
That's what I did.
I just listened to the otherpeople.
I listened to podcasts.
I went into Facebook groups andwhat are they doing?
'cause I don't know what to do.
Lindsey (10:39):
That's a really, when podcasts.
Kelly (10:42):
Yeah,
Lindsey (10:43):
like just books and podcasts, keep your mind not
busy all the time, but, you'vegot to do something productive
with your mind too, because youcan't just sit around and dwell
or think about God I just wantto drink.
I just need a drink right now ordrink would make this so much
better.
Kelly (10:59):
Or talking to a friend, like calling a friend, or if you
have a neighbor, or, asksomebody to meet you for a walk
or something like that.
I think that connection in thosemoments too especially if you
had a really hard day or,calling your mom or whoever your
person is that you can talk to.
And those phone conversationsare sometimes all we need for
that relief, just get it off ourchest and chat about it.
Lindsey (11:23):
I feel like that could be outside of somebody's comfort
zone is picking up the phone andmaking a phone call or just
connecting with somebody.
Matthew Perry always I listenedto the, his audible book.
book is crazy.
So good, but he makes such agood point.
I've heard other people say thistoo, alcohol use disorder.
It wants you alone.
It wants to isolate you and makeyou feel bad about yourself and
(11:48):
have such low self esteem and Ifeel like I used to be there.
I used to love spending timealone.
Because I could drink alone,nobody would realize how much I
was actually drinking.
If you find it uncomfortable toreach out to people or have
phone conversations, it's goingto take you a little bit of
(12:08):
going outside of your comfortzone to engage in those things
because once you hang up, onceyou disconnect from that person,
you do feel a lot better.
And it can be really scary, itcan be really scary to pick up
the phone if you're not used todoing that and connecting with
somebody by voice, I think youhave to start acting differently
if you want different life.
Kelly (12:28):
Yeah, and I'm not talking about pick up the phone and say,
Oh, I feel like drinking justpick up the phone and be like,
Hey, how was your day?
Yeah.
Tracey (12:34):
Like the art of distraction, but in a positive
way, right?
Kelly (12:38):
Yeah, without numbing, connecting instead of numbing,
because we can numb, we canscroll, we can eat, we can,
binge watch, or we can connect.
Connect with ourselves,connecting with ourselves.
That's the doing the breath workand stuff like that or
connecting with others, callingsomebody that needs help.
Not make it not about you makeit somebody that's going through
(13:00):
a hard time.
Oh, you know what, on my wayhome, I'm going to call this
person because I know she'sgoing through a hard time.
There's connection right there.
Lindsey (13:07):
I just listened to a podcast about this.
When you are going through ahard time, especially when you
are quitting drinking a guest ona podcast was telling the
podcaster, he was talking to awoman and ended up giving her a
suicide hotline phone number andeverybody, when he was telling
the story, thought that he didthat because the woman was
(13:28):
suicidal, but he was like, no.
You need to go volunteer there.
You need to do something to giveback when you're going through a
hard time and you want to have adrink.
You're trying to make a betterlife or healthier choices for
yourself.
One of the things that you needto do is do something for other
people.
You need to volunteer.
Humane society, like connectwith animals help people, be
(13:50):
there on hotlines, go and serveat a soup kitchen for a couple
hours, do something that isn'tMaking you the center of
attention and the priority putyour efforts on helping another
person Love that
Tracey (14:03):
yeah, that's good too.
I just was thinking one of thebenefits of stopping drinking is
that our mind does become moreactive because we're not,
damaging or blocking thosechannels.
So that is a huge benefit, butit can also be a downfall in the
sense that have that expectationthat, that may happen, your
(14:28):
mind's going to be more active.
So you might feel the need tohave an outlet for that.
Also.
Energetically, you're going tohave more energy, so you might
need an outlet for that, too.
All those benefits that you seecould increase this need for
relief, too.
(14:48):
I think it's important forpeople to be aware of that and
we I just lost my train ofthought there.
Here comes the menopause kickingin.
Brain fog?
My brain channels aren't thatclear yet.
Lindsey (15:03):
It sounds like every single drunk conversation I
would have.
I'd be like mid sentence.
I'd be like, I don't know what Iwas gonna say.
Tracey (15:11):
What I was gonna say, I do recall, is that also, we're
going to be more emotional andin tune with our emotions
because we're not numbing themout.
That is another thing that wemay feel we need that relief
from.
Just reinforcing the importanceof having those healthy.
Things in place that make usfeel relief.
Kelly (15:32):
That was a shocker for me.
Just reminded me of that.
When Lindsay was talking aboutlistening to podcasts and stuff,
I didn't know what to do with,like you said, Tracy, there's
more space.
My mind was going crazy.
And then I was having all theseemotions.
I did not know what to do withmyself.
So I did constantly listen topodcasts because I couldn't be I
(15:52):
did not know how to be with myown thoughts.
So it was in between from when Ifirst quit drinking to when I
first saw my addictionstherapist, which I can't
remember how long that was, butmaybe like a couple of weeks.
But yeah, when I was awake, Iwas listening to podcasts.
I didn't know how to process myemotions or anything.
It was pretty messy.
But I didn't drink
Tracey (16:13):
and another benefit is time, right?
How many times we said you havemore time because you're not so
focused on drinking, right?
So you also have the benefit oftime that you need to then
occupy.
It's great to take this as atime to explore new things.
Explore things that you'repassionate about that you might
not have made time for before.
(16:35):
Or if you don't know what you'repassionate about, try to figure
it out, right?
Going back to trying new thingsI think one of the other
benefits is we've talked aboutthis too, is it creates space
for curiosity again andcreativity.
Really dive into that curiosity.
And that's where you candiscover new interests
Kelly (16:55):
yeah.
I'm following.
Yeah.
Lindsey (16:56):
I was so tired.
Kelly (16:57):
Yeah.
I spent a lot of time in my bed.
Lindsey (16:59):
I was going to say I didn't have the crazy energy.
I was fucking exhausted.
I couldn't actually, I couldn'tbelieve it.
I would have a nap every singleday.
I would come home from work andliterally and I was like, I
can't wait to go to bed.
I was so tired and I think itwas just my body trying to
repair internal.
or something
Kelly (17:20):
I think so.
Yeah, I had that too.
I had that, like I wasexhausted, but then also I
didn't know what to do withmyself because I didn't have any
new hobbies or passions oranything yet.
So I'm like I guess I'm justgoing to go to bed after the
kids went to bed.
Yeah.
Can't open wine.
Yeah.
And I didn't want to watch TV.
I think I told you the guys thatbefore that was such a trigger,
I guess you'd call it.
(17:41):
Yeah.
That went hand in hand TV andwine.
Tracey (17:44):
I wish I could nap, man.
I know.
That's like my goal.
Kelly (17:49):
I don't nap.
I don't nap.
Lindsey (17:51):
I love it.
I'm going to nap as long as Ican.
Kelly (17:55):
Next stage in life.
Lately, I've been having acoffee in the afternoon, but I
think I'm just going to switchthat to an nap.
Tracey (18:01):
I love coffee though, too.
Kelly (18:04):
And I've been making it with the pampered chef.
Oh, you don't the foam makerthingy and all with my homemade
cashew milk.
Oh my god, you guys, it's sogood.
Amazing.
Tracey (18:17):
I think I told you girls that I bought myself a fancy for
me.
Yeah, that was my Mother's Daypresent to myself, but I was
like, all that money I saved onnot buying bottles of wine.
Kelly (18:30):
There you go.
You deserve it.
Tracey (18:32):
I can justify, paying for this.
Plus I'm not going to TimHortons as often, so I'm saving
that.
And that's garbage.
Yeah.
But I do have to say that issomething I've become more
passionate about and reallybegan to enjoy.
I always drank coffee, but Ienjoy it at a different level
now that I'm not drinking.
Definitely.
(18:52):
That's my indulgence.
Kelly (18:54):
Yeah.
And that's a benefit that youcan treat yourself to that.
Yeah.
Tracey (18:59):
Yeah.
Although I have to limit it nowbecause I am caffeine sensitive
in menopause.
Damn menopause, it's getting thebest of me in some ways, trying
to beat it down.
Kelly (19:12):
What else you got on your list there, Trace, for benefits?
Tracey (19:16):
For benefits, we talked on about this and touched on
this but Obviously, over time,the longer you're not drinking,
the more confidence you gain.
And it's a confidence booster.
We've talked about this manytimes, just saying no, and
making good, healthy choices foryourself.
All those things right there,boost your confidence and also
(19:40):
better sleep.
Less anxiety, as we know thereare physical benefits too, that
I was reading about just withinthe first 30 days, if you're not
drinking if you just talkedabout the physical benefits
alone less visceral fat yourbelly more than likely will
shrink, less inflammation.
Less joint pain, mentalalertness, more energy, less
(20:03):
fatigue gut healing, yourmicrobiome will be in much
better shape.
Better impulse control, right?
So if you are someone who'strying to be healthy all around
and change your eating habits atthe same time giving up alcohol
will definitely help becauseyou're not going to have those
late night binges with bad foodand bad choices.
(20:26):
And yeah, it helps with impulsecontrol healthier liver and it
can improve your libido.
So those are just some of thephysical things
Kelly (20:35):
within 30 days, you'd notice
Tracey (20:36):
within 30 days, there's some physical benefits you can
notice.
And that's only 30 days.
Kelly (20:42):
I noticed my skin right away, changed my eyes.
Lindsey (20:47):
My eyes for sure.
Yeah We said to puffiness,right?
Oh, we've said that so manytimes, like so much.
Kelly (20:54):
I can't stand seeing those pictures.
I know I am like, Oh my God,
Tracey (21:01):
it's incredible to see your girl's transformation.
I wish mine was that drastic.
It wasn't.
I don't think I have any prepictures that would be.
Lindsey (21:12):
I just think that must have indicated the level of
damage.
To be that puffy, like yourliver is not functioning
properly or something.
You're, Toxin removal systeminternally is messed up.
It is not okay.
And I feel like I can pinpointit in other people too.
Kelly (21:30):
I was going to just say that.
Yes, I can.
I notice it too.
Lindsey (21:34):
And then I'm like, Oh boy, I was there,
Tracey (21:37):
and as we age, it gets worse.
Talk about it ages you as well.
Yeah, you guys probably saw myreel about what happened to
Randy and I, you might not havesaw it, Kel.
So I had posted a reel and thiswould be an interesting
conversation going on a littlebit off track here, but I'll get
your guys input and thoughts onthis because I think it's
(22:00):
something that in my alcoholfree era for three years now,
and I've gotten more comfortablewith that decision in my life.
I lean into kind of having thoseconversations with people.
So Randy and I were out for his50th birthday.
We were in Collingwood for thenight.
We went to this great restaurantand we got seated very close to
(22:21):
this other couple, like rightnext to each other.
So they were very friendly, verynice people.
Obviously they were there fordinner.
They were just having a couple'sweekend.
They had seven kids.
between the two of them.
Like they were a second marriageto or a second union like Randy
and I and between the two ofthem they had seven kids and all
(22:42):
teenagers.
Kelly (22:43):
Oh, wow.
They needed a weekend away.
Tracey (22:45):
Yeah.
So they were away for theweekend and the waitress had
come over and wished Randy ahappy birthday.
She knew we were there for abirthday celebration.
We said, yeah, he's 50 and thepeople at the table beside us
were like, Oh my God, 50.
Seriously?
You guys.
Don't look 50.
Are you 50 to?
They say to me, and I said, I'mgoing to be in December.
And they're like, Oh my gosh,you guys look great.
(23:07):
And then as the night proceeded,they continued to chat with us
and the waitress came over andasked us what we wanted to
drink.
And of course I ordered a sodaand Randy ordered iced tea and
then observantly, the girl saysto me, Oh, you guys don't drink.
And I said no, we don't.
And she goes, Oh, that's why youlook so young.
It's a joke, right?
(23:27):
Correct.
Yeah, that is correct.
Yeah.
So then two things happen there.
I know, we always say you don'tneed to explain yourself, you
can just say no or no, thankyou.
And I could have left it atthat.
And I think early in yoursobriety or in being alcohol
free.
It's important to know that youdon't have to explain yourself.
(23:49):
I 100 percent agree with that,because in those situations, and
when you're new, you may not beas comfortable with it.
But I find myself more and morenow that I usually do respond
with no, but I used to, and Imade the choice three years ago
not to, because I think twothings happen then.
One, You recognize it's a choiceand you open people's eyes to
(24:13):
the fact that it is a choice forthem as well.
I also think it helps inbringing awareness and creating
less shame around not drinking.
I did tell the girl, I said,yeah, I used to drink actually,
but I gave it up three yearsago.
And then.
I had, the Lindsay scenario thatLindsay speaks about very often,
(24:35):
her whole explanation of why shedrinks because she had seven
children that are all teenagers.
Lindsey (24:41):
But see, here's a woman looking for relief, right?
Yes.
Tracey (24:45):
Yeah, so we had that whole conversation and it was
just really interesting.
It's the first time that someonejust out of observation Said to
me, oh, you guys don't drinkobviously I've had that question
when somebody's offered me adrink or I've been in a social
scenario where I'm saying no,thank you.
But I hadn't had it justrandomly like that.
(25:05):
So I thought it was reallyinteresting.
Kelly (25:07):
That's awesome.
I love it.
It's your truth, right?
Yeah, when we're open with ourtruth, then we subconsciously
liberate other people to.
Tracey (25:17):
But my point in that story is that it will make you
look younger.
Yes.
Exactly.
It does.
I think it's not going to make
Kelly (25:24):
me look older and not be drinking.
Yes, it ages.
I was talking to somebody who ispossibly getting back into the
dating scene and we were talkingabout people our age, like 45 to
55 age group, or up to 60 orwhatever.
At this age, this is the agewhere you can see.
Clearly, if somebody's takingcare of themselves or not like
(25:46):
it really shows because there'ssuch a difference.
Tracey (25:50):
I was going to say, yeah, I feel like I notice it
more now in people that are ourage.
You're saying you can See rightoff the hop, how the drinking is
starting to affect
Kelly (26:00):
catches up, but you cannot treat your body like that
forever.
I learned that the hard way, butalso your body is miraculous and
can heal itself.
I also learned
Tracey (26:12):
well, and don't get me wrong.
I was puffy too.
When I was drinking, I justwasn't as extreme as you to I
don't have the extreme beforeand afters to prove it.
Or I just didn't allow myself toget pictures when I was looking
that way.
I don't know, but I couldprobably drum up a few from when
I lived in Calgary because Iremember specifically when I
(26:33):
lived in Calgary, I drank a lotof beer.
And I was always.
Inflamed.
Lindsey (26:38):
Yeah.
I always felt bloated too, allof the time, even like I was a
binge weekend drinker, just inthe week I was super bloated all
the time.
And since quitting, it took alittle while, I would say, all
these benefits, I wasn't feelingthem or seeing them immediately.
It took about a year.
I don't have issues withbloating anymore.
(27:00):
I don't have that puffy face andI think, those things you can
see.
And that's the biggest reasonthat I continue not to drink is
it's just part of my self carenow.
One of the ways that I take careof myself, just like working out
or running or, trying to eat,balanced foods that agree with
(27:21):
my body it's just my self care,but yeah man, I used to be so
bloated.
Tracey (27:27):
That was hot on the list of physical benefits Linds was
less bloating and that has to dosomewhat with the visceral fat
and the inflammation.
Lindsey (27:36):
The visceral fat, if people don't know what that is,
that's the fat that's aroundyour internal organs.
So it's not the subcutaneous,like underneath the skin fat.
This is the deep internal fatthat's in between your liver and
kidneys and it's just jammed inthere.
If you have a high visceral fatnumber, that is not a good
thing.
Tracey (27:56):
Yeah, and alcohol doesn't help it.
Lindsey (27:58):
No, it makes it worse.
Kelly (28:01):
I was also because I was so hung over, I was waking up in
the morning and I'm takingnaproxen and chugging pepto.
So imagine what that was doingto my body and my cells and God.
Tracey (28:16):
I think I have mentioned probably on my episode or around
the beginning of us starting thepodcast that another thing that
was happening to me was I wasgetting heartburn all the time.
Kelly (28:27):
Yeah.
Tracey (28:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So same thing, I was poppingRolaids and all those.
It is so bad.
Antacid medication, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
And even Advil, I would takeAdvil a lot more often one
because of hangover.
If I had a headache, cause oftenI think I mentioned how when I
(28:49):
was drinking red wine regularlythen I was waking up all the
time with this dull headache andthen of course joint pain, like
achiness, right?
And Advil's.
over time when you're taking itregularly isn't good for your
liver either.
Kelly (29:04):
No.
Tracey (29:04):
Pile that on with the alcohol and you're really doing
a number on your liver.
Sheesh.
Lindsey (29:13):
I asked our last guest.
I think Tracey you had mentionedto that was a good closing
question, right?
What the most surprising benefitof getting sober was and I think
maybe to close us out.
Do you think we should answerthat question?
Kelly's thinking.
Tracey (29:30):
Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to think what wouldbe
Lindsey (29:33):
the most surprising benefit, like maybe something
that you didn't expect from.
Kelly (29:37):
Oh, my god.
Creating a completely differentlife for myself.
Like I thought I had my wholelife figured out.
And that's the way it was goingto be forever.
And nope, alcohol revealed thatwas not true.
And I faced a lot of truths andcreated a life that I really
(29:58):
love.
Lindsey (29:58):
Oh, I love that.
It was a shocker plot twist.
Yeah.
Huge.
Tracey (30:04):
Yeah.
Yeah, your whole life changedcompletely.
I would have to say definitelythe increase in motivation and I
think mental clarity.
Which in turn really boosted myconfidence, because it just gave
me this drive to really go afterthings that I hadn't and give
(30:24):
myself that push to do thethings.
I wasn't holding myself backanymore.
That was the big thing, I wasconfident enough in myself and
my abilities to push forward tothe things that I wanted to do.
And out of that came creatingthis podcast with you guys.
Mike used to joke, he wasshocked that I actually went
through with it.
And then it came about soquickly.
(30:46):
But that was part of it.
I saw a vision for this and Iwrote it down and I did it.
And that was probably the firsttime I've done that in my life.
But it wasn't the first time Ihad so many ideas or thoughts or
desires and drive to do things.
It's just like that part of mewas living dormant inside of me
(31:07):
for so long.
So that breaking free was thebiggest surprise benefit of
quitting alcohol for me.
Kelly (31:16):
That's so awesome.
Trace.
Like I told the story abouthaving a coach, the year before
I quit, I didn't tell him aboutmy drinking, but I knew after
these coaching sessions, I knewthat everything I wanted was on
the other side of alcohol.
My intuition was telling me thatthe year before I quit.
Yeah.
What about you, Ms.
(31:36):
Lenz?
Lindsey (31:37):
Oh, man.
Even as I asked the question, Iwas like, Oh, what is mine?
And I was going to say theconfidence and everything
because I feel like in my 40s,I'm in my early 40s, I am the
most confident I have ever been.
Not only does that come withage, but I think for me that
also came with ditching booze,but then this really just popped
(31:58):
in my mind.
It almost brought tears to myeyes.
So one of my most surprisingbenefits of getting sober and
staying that way is being ableto look in the mirror.
And look at myself and smile andfeel like looking at the person
staring back at me.
I like this person.
I love this person.
And holy shit, like we're here.
(32:20):
I feel good.
And looking at pictures ofmyself, not wanting to look away
or have this shock of holy shit,that's me.
In a bad way where I look at aphoto and I'm like, I just look
horrible my eyes were so sad, Iwas so puffy, I was so
overweight, and I just lookedhorrible.
(32:40):
And I was like, who the hell isthat?
That can't be me, but now I seepictures of myself and I'm like,
Oh hello there.
Just have this the looking inthe mirror and just being able
to really look at myself, lookinto my own eyes and feel like I
love myself.
That was.
So surprising.
I didn't expect.
I think I felt the opposite forso long, a self loathing, a
(33:02):
shame and embarrassment.
Maybe like I wasn't where Iwanted to be in life where, I'm
looking at other people aroundme and I'm like, wow, like
they're so far ahead or how arethey there?
And I'm here I just feel theconfidence now.
I feel the self love and yeah,it's the looking in the mirror
and seeing pictures of myself.
Those two really surprised me.
Tracey (33:22):
I just want to say, Lins, that I feel like we've
watched that transformation foryou in the time that we've been
on this podcast.
Like I have seen you change intoalmost a totally different
person than when I first metyou, in season one and it's been
amazing.
Kelly (33:41):
Yes, and
Tracey (33:43):
yeah, it's been incredible to watch.
So good for you.
To that point, and what I wassaying too, I feel like we took
our power back.
Kelly (33:55):
Yeah.
Lindsey (33:56):
Yeah.
You go well like that.
That's so well said.
Kelly (34:00):
So true trace that shit had such a hold on me.
Lindsey (34:05):
Look at us.
Yeah.
We took our power back.
I love it.
That is the quote of the season.
Tracey (34:16):
There you go.
That's one to end on, yeah, Ijust want to say before we wrap
it up, thank you to all ourincredible guests this season.
I always like to give a shoutout to them because the show
wouldn't be what it is withoutthem.
We had so many amazingcontributors this year and we
love it.
(34:37):
Keep reaching out to us.
Keep coming on and sharing yourknowledge and everything you're
doing in this space with usbecause it's incredible.
It's an incredible gift.
Everybody's giving when theycome on and share their story.
So yes, just a shout out to ouramazing guests.
Our guests are the best.
As they say.
(34:57):
They're awesome.
It was an incredible year fullof lots and lots of guests and
incredible stories.
Kelly (35:03):
Yeah.
Lindsey (35:04):
Absolutely.
Tracey (35:05):
All right, girls.
I think that's a wrap.
Lindsey (35:07):
Is that a wrap?
Should I close us out?
Tracey (35:10):
Our closing queen, Lindsay.
Lindsey (35:14):
Hey.
Everybody, that is a wrap onseason three of the LAF Life
podcast, but if you haven'tlistened to season one and two,
don't go anywhere, go backanywhere.
You get your podcast, listen toseason one and two, replay your
favorite episodes.
We will be back in Septemberwith brand new episodes and
(35:35):
guests.
We're so excited to reconnectwith you.
We're also excited to have alittle bit of a break.
But, until we meet again, guys,you know what to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (35:45):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsey Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF lifepodcast.
This is our season three finale.
(00:47):
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Okay.
How many episodes did we do thisseason?
Tracey (00:53):
28.
This would technically be 29.
Kelly (00:58):
29 smokes.
We've certainly had someinteresting topics and amazing
guests and Wow.
It's been awesome.
So tonight we're going to, chatabout how the season went and
one of the things that came upthat I really thought could use
a little more conversation waswhen we had Lindsay from She
(01:21):
Walks Canada on and she talkedabout relief.
Okay, great.
We talked about all the benefitsand, yeah, your skin's going to
be better, you're going to savemoney, you're going to sleep
better, all of these things.
But what about the relief?
This is something that we'returning to because we've got
these chaotic lives and at theend of the day I know for me, I
(01:41):
didn't know how to wind down.
I was like maxing out all my,everything.
And then I truly believed Ineeded it.
To sleep and for my relief fromthat chaos of all of the things
I was doing.
So I thought it'd be a reallygood conversation to have.
Tracey (01:58):
Yeah, for sure.
And I think like she spoke tothat becomes a fear for people
then, when they think aboutgiving it up or quitting, where
am I going to get my relief?
Like she had mentioned, and Iunderstand that even as someone
who has not drank now for threeyears, there are times where I
struggle with certain emotionsand having a lack of relief.
(02:20):
Per se, or a way to processthem.
That's not the quick fix of justhaving a drink and forgetting
about it.
So it's something that eventhough I'm very solid in my
sobriety, I still struggle withthat because it's more on the
processing of emotions.
Like you said, Kel, the windingdown and, It's not always easy
(02:44):
to find ways to do that thatdon't entail work and some of
the ways that you do that stillrequire effort.
Alcohol always these seems likethe easy way out or the easy way
that doesn't require a lot ofeffort.
Yeah, you can go to the gym,but.
That requires effort.
What about the days you don'tfeel like going to the gym,
(03:05):
right?
Then what's the alternative tothat?
So those scenarios I do runacross and sometimes I still
struggle, right?
Yeah.
And I find that was the hardestpart for me was just sitting in
the feelings.
Instead of trying to find arelief, like what if we could
just sit in them for a bit andjust be angry or sad or,
(03:28):
frustrated, whatever emotionthat is.
Bored.
Yeah.
Boredom.
We don't know how to be boredanymore.
Yeah.
But why is that?
We filled our lives and ourminds and our senses with so
much.
It's like the boredom and thejust sitting in it.
Is foreign to us now, 100%.
Lindsey (03:49):
Fill it with food.
I did it today.
I came home.
I had such a stressful was along day at work.
I had to rush right out of work.
Traffic was insane.
I barely made it to theappointment that I had to be at
and then I was like, I don'teven know if I can be on this
recording tonight.
And I came home and I'm like,I'm starving, but I'm like,
(04:10):
okay, I know protein first, butI still grabbed a bag of chips
and had 20 and then I'm like,what am I doing?
I'm trying to like, unwind.
in a quick way, and I used to doit with wine and food combined.
But now that I don't drink, Istill sometimes find myself
doing the stuffing, theemotional eating.
(04:30):
I'm gonna sit down in front ofthe TV and unwind, but I wanna
be munching on something.
Kelly (04:35):
Yeah.
I know.
The goal isn't to be perfect.
Of course we want healthierways.
And I remember in the beginningbeing like, same thing like.
With the chips and stuff beinglike it's not booze.
Yeah, that's the main thing.
If we've had a really toxicrelationship as I think I did,
like I was definitely addictedin the beginning.
It's you got to do what you gotto do just to not pick up.
(04:58):
I open a bottle of wine.
Like I was like on the Skittlesand bread and all kinds of
stuff.
But I just allowed myself to gothrough that.
Lindsey (05:07):
Yeah.
Kelly (05:08):
Now, like over six years later, my life is different.
My life is very different.
And that happened over time,like a long period of time, I've
built a pretty calm life.
I don't have a lot of stress inmy life.
And that was my decision tojust, do things differently.
Not everybody has that option.
I understand that.
But of course still things comeup.
(05:30):
But I think.
Having a lifestyle or havingpractices and disciplines where
you can manage stress.
So all three of us moving ourbodies, that's a very important
thing to us.
And that I think as far asstress management goes, that is
like number one, move your body.
And then we're learning so muchnow around all that we've
learned on our podcast, aboutthe somatic healing and that's,
(05:55):
body as well.
And so a lot to do with thebody, and breath work just
connecting to your breath takingsome long, deep breaths instead
of.
Drinking, maybe the next thingis chips, one thing at a time,
Tracey (06:08):
it always does amaze me how.
easy it is when you land onsomething, right?
Like taking those deep breathsthen you realize in the moment,
Oh, that was so easy andrefreshing.
And it's same with exercise.
I can't even tell you how much Ifeel like I push so much energy
(06:29):
out physically when I exercise.
Like all that negative energy, Ireally channel when I'm
exercising and not even in anintense way, I could just be on
the treadmill it's almost like aself affirmation of release that
energy.
I repeat that to myself as I'mjust walking on the treadmill or
(06:50):
strolling away on theelliptical.
So it's just a veryconscientious thought process of
pushing out that negative energyand releasing it.
So I think it's being, presentreally right in the present
moment and being very aware ofthat's what you're feeling
within your body and within yourmind, and you want to release it
(07:13):
or get rid of it.
Kelly (07:14):
Yeah, it's like in that moment, it's making a different
choice.
Yeah.
Lindsey (07:18):
I have this basic list and you know what I didn't do
when I got home.
I didn't have a big glass ofwater.
It's are you dehydrated?
Because I feel like a lot of thetimes I love coffee.
I'm still drinking coffee, butit's do I need a nap?
Do I need water?
Am I dehydrated or do I need tomove my body?
Just go through that simplechecklist and if you don't know
(07:39):
which one it is, try them all
Kelly (07:41):
There's an acronym.
I'm sure we've talked about thisbefore, but there's an acronym
in recovery halt, hungry, angry,lonely, tired.
So sometimes if you feel like adrink or if you feel like
numbing out, it could just beone of those things.
Tracey (07:54):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good check in.
Kelly (07:57):
Even just like when we're talking about moving our bodies,
it's not always a workout or ayoga class or a workout class,
walk around the block, just getoutside and walk around the
block, five minutes, 10 minutes.
Yeah, it changes you.
Tracey (08:10):
It is, I think that refreshing feeling of.
outside air, the sun on yourface at this time of year, that
type of thing that yes, even afive minute walk can make a huge
difference.
It's like taking 10 deep breathswhere it's pretty simple and
easy and can be quick.
It's just going to change thedirection for you immediately,
(08:34):
but it's hard sometimes in themoment to think of those things.
And for me with going throughmenopause, one of the things
I've been really challenged withis my energy level.
So sometimes it is harder thannormal on days.
To push myself to go to the gymor motivate myself just because
my energy level is not there andthat's part of menopause too.
(08:54):
We don't handle stress as wellwhen we're in menopause.
We don't process it as welleither.
So when I have a reallystressful day and my job day to
day is stressful and that's anenvironment that I've chose to
put myself in.
So sometimes just managing thaton a day to day.
Energetically, I'm drained somedays, and so I think that's
(09:18):
where I've really seen thechallenge now from time to time,
not doing the easy thing or theeasy way out and trying to find
other things that I know arebetter for me and make me feel
better.
Kelly (09:32):
That's where we build the confidence and the self esteem
is just like in that momentwhere we make a different
choice, to choose not to numbout to, put some kombucha in the
wine glass instead of the wineor, yeah.
Tracey (09:43):
Yeah.
And at the end of the day, weall have been.
alcohol free for long enough torealize all the benefits that
we're reaping from doing thatfor ourselves.
It's easy sometimes to get offtrack and you need to pull
yourself back in and remindyourself of all those things.
(10:04):
Because I might be complainingright now about how menopause is
draining my energy.
But let me tell you, if I wasdrinking, it'd be doing it 10
times.
Worse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to, give myself thatbenefit of the doubt sometimes.
And remind myself.
Kelly (10:18):
kind to ourselves.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people would belike, okay, yeah, that's great.
The other side is great, butyeah, what is my relief?
What is my relief instead of thewine?
I think Lynn's just said trydifferent things.
That's what I did.
I just listened to the otherpeople.
I listened to podcasts.
I went into Facebook groups andwhat are they doing?
'cause I don't know what to do.
Lindsey (10:39):
That's a really, when podcasts.
Kelly (10:42):
Yeah,
Lindsey (10:43):
like just books and podcasts, keep your mind not
busy all the time, but, you'vegot to do something productive
with your mind too, because youcan't just sit around and dwell
or think about God I just wantto drink.
I just need a drink right now ordrink would make this so much
better.
Kelly (10:59):
Or talking to a friend, like calling a friend, or if you
have a neighbor, or, asksomebody to meet you for a walk
or something like that.
I think that connection in thosemoments too especially if you
had a really hard day or,calling your mom or whoever your
person is that you can talk to.
And those phone conversationsare sometimes all we need for
that relief, just get it off ourchest and chat about it.
Lindsey (11:23):
I feel like that could be outside of somebody's comfort
zone is picking up the phone andmaking a phone call or just
connecting with somebody.
Matthew Perry always I listenedto the, his audible book.
book is crazy.
So good, but he makes such agood point.
I've heard other people say thistoo, alcohol use disorder.
It wants you alone.
It wants to isolate you and makeyou feel bad about yourself and
(11:48):
have such low self esteem and Ifeel like I used to be there.
I used to love spending timealone.
Because I could drink alone,nobody would realize how much I
was actually drinking.
If you find it uncomfortable toreach out to people or have
phone conversations, it's goingto take you a little bit of
(12:08):
going outside of your comfortzone to engage in those things
because once you hang up, onceyou disconnect from that person,
you do feel a lot better.
And it can be really scary, itcan be really scary to pick up
the phone if you're not used todoing that and connecting with
somebody by voice, I think youhave to start acting differently
if you want different life.
Kelly (12:28):
Yeah, and I'm not talking about pick up the phone and say,
Oh, I feel like drinking justpick up the phone and be like,
Hey, how was your day?
Yeah.
Tracey (12:34):
Like the art of distraction, but in a positive
way, right?
Kelly (12:38):
Yeah, without numbing, connecting instead of numbing,
because we can numb, we canscroll, we can eat, we can,
binge watch, or we can connect.
Connect with ourselves,connecting with ourselves.
That's the doing the breath workand stuff like that or
connecting with others, callingsomebody that needs help.
Not make it not about you makeit somebody that's going through
(13:00):
a hard time.
Oh, you know what, on my wayhome, I'm going to call this
person because I know she'sgoing through a hard time.
There's connection right there.
Lindsey (13:07):
I just listened to a podcast about this.
When you are going through ahard time, especially when you
are quitting drinking a guest ona podcast was telling the
podcaster, he was talking to awoman and ended up giving her a
suicide hotline phone number andeverybody, when he was telling
the story, thought that he didthat because the woman was
(13:28):
suicidal, but he was like, no.
You need to go volunteer there.
You need to do something to giveback when you're going through a
hard time and you want to have adrink.
You're trying to make a betterlife or healthier choices for
yourself.
One of the things that you needto do is do something for other
people.
You need to volunteer.
Humane society, like connectwith animals help people, be
(13:50):
there on hotlines, go and serveat a soup kitchen for a couple
hours, do something that isn'tMaking you the center of
attention and the priority putyour efforts on helping another
person Love that
Tracey (14:03):
yeah, that's good too.
I just was thinking one of thebenefits of stopping drinking is
that our mind does become moreactive because we're not,
damaging or blocking thosechannels.
So that is a huge benefit, butit can also be a downfall in the
sense that have that expectationthat, that may happen, your
(14:28):
mind's going to be more active.
So you might feel the need tohave an outlet for that.
Also.
Energetically, you're going tohave more energy, so you might
need an outlet for that, too.
All those benefits that you seecould increase this need for
relief, too.
(14:48):
I think it's important forpeople to be aware of that and
we I just lost my train ofthought there.
Here comes the menopause kickingin.
Brain fog?
My brain channels aren't thatclear yet.
Lindsey (15:03):
It sounds like every single drunk conversation I
would have.
I'd be like mid sentence.
I'd be like, I don't know what Iwas gonna say.
Tracey (15:11):
What I was gonna say, I do recall, is that also, we're
going to be more emotional andin tune with our emotions
because we're not numbing themout.
That is another thing that wemay feel we need that relief
from.
Just reinforcing the importanceof having those healthy.
Things in place that make usfeel relief.
Kelly (15:32):
That was a shocker for me.
Just reminded me of that.
When Lindsay was talking aboutlistening to podcasts and stuff,
I didn't know what to do with,like you said, Tracy, there's
more space.
My mind was going crazy.
And then I was having all theseemotions.
I did not know what to do withmyself.
So I did constantly listen topodcasts because I couldn't be I
(15:52):
did not know how to be with myown thoughts.
So it was in between from when Ifirst quit drinking to when I
first saw my addictionstherapist, which I can't
remember how long that was, butmaybe like a couple of weeks.
But yeah, when I was awake, Iwas listening to podcasts.
I didn't know how to process myemotions or anything.
It was pretty messy.
But I didn't drink
Tracey (16:13):
and another benefit is time, right?
How many times we said you havemore time because you're not so
focused on drinking, right?
So you also have the benefit oftime that you need to then
occupy.
It's great to take this as atime to explore new things.
Explore things that you'repassionate about that you might
not have made time for before.
(16:35):
Or if you don't know what you'repassionate about, try to figure
it out, right?
Going back to trying new thingsI think one of the other
benefits is we've talked aboutthis too, is it creates space
for curiosity again andcreativity.
Really dive into that curiosity.
And that's where you candiscover new interests
Kelly (16:55):
yeah.
I'm following.
Yeah.
Lindsey (16:56):
I was so tired.
Kelly (16:57):
Yeah.
I spent a lot of time in my bed.
Lindsey (16:59):
I was going to say I didn't have the crazy energy.
I was fucking exhausted.
I couldn't actually, I couldn'tbelieve it.
I would have a nap every singleday.
I would come home from work andliterally and I was like, I
can't wait to go to bed.
I was so tired and I think itwas just my body trying to
repair internal.
or something
Kelly (17:20):
I think so.
Yeah, I had that too.
I had that, like I wasexhausted, but then also I
didn't know what to do withmyself because I didn't have any
new hobbies or passions oranything yet.
So I'm like I guess I'm justgoing to go to bed after the
kids went to bed.
Yeah.
Can't open wine.
Yeah.
And I didn't want to watch TV.
I think I told you the guys thatbefore that was such a trigger,
I guess you'd call it.
(17:41):
Yeah.
That went hand in hand TV andwine.
Tracey (17:44):
I wish I could nap, man.
I know.
That's like my goal.
Kelly (17:49):
I don't nap.
I don't nap.
Lindsey (17:51):
I love it.
I'm going to nap as long as Ican.
Kelly (17:55):
Next stage in life.
Lately, I've been having acoffee in the afternoon, but I
think I'm just going to switchthat to an nap.
Tracey (18:01):
I love coffee though, too.
Kelly (18:04):
And I've been making it with the pampered chef.
Oh, you don't the foam makerthingy and all with my homemade
cashew milk.
Oh my god, you guys, it's sogood.
Amazing.
Tracey (18:17):
I think I told you girls that I bought myself a fancy for
me.
Yeah, that was my Mother's Daypresent to myself, but I was
like, all that money I saved onnot buying bottles of wine.
Kelly (18:30):
There you go.
You deserve it.
Tracey (18:32):
I can justify, paying for this.
Plus I'm not going to TimHortons as often, so I'm saving
that.
And that's garbage.
Yeah.
But I do have to say that issomething I've become more
passionate about and reallybegan to enjoy.
I always drank coffee, but Ienjoy it at a different level
now that I'm not drinking.
Definitely.
(18:52):
That's my indulgence.
Kelly (18:54):
Yeah.
And that's a benefit that youcan treat yourself to that.
Yeah.
Tracey (18:59):
Yeah.
Although I have to limit it nowbecause I am caffeine sensitive
in menopause.
Damn menopause, it's getting thebest of me in some ways, trying
to beat it down.
Kelly (19:12):
What else you got on your list there, Trace, for benefits?
Tracey (19:16):
For benefits, we talked on about this and touched on
this but Obviously, over time,the longer you're not drinking,
the more confidence you gain.
And it's a confidence booster.
We've talked about this manytimes, just saying no, and
making good, healthy choices foryourself.
All those things right there,boost your confidence and also
(19:40):
better sleep.
Less anxiety, as we know thereare physical benefits too, that
I was reading about just withinthe first 30 days, if you're not
drinking if you just talkedabout the physical benefits
alone less visceral fat yourbelly more than likely will
shrink, less inflammation.
Less joint pain, mentalalertness, more energy, less
(20:03):
fatigue gut healing, yourmicrobiome will be in much
better shape.
Better impulse control, right?
So if you are someone who'strying to be healthy all around
and change your eating habits atthe same time giving up alcohol
will definitely help becauseyou're not going to have those
late night binges with bad foodand bad choices.
(20:26):
And yeah, it helps with impulsecontrol healthier liver and it
can improve your libido.
So those are just some of thephysical things
Kelly (20:35):
within 30 days, you'd notice
Tracey (20:36):
within 30 days, there's some physical benefits you can
notice.
And that's only 30 days.
Kelly (20:42):
I noticed my skin right away, changed my eyes.
Lindsey (20:47):
My eyes for sure.
Yeah We said to puffiness,right?
Oh, we've said that so manytimes, like so much.
Kelly (20:54):
I can't stand seeing those pictures.
I know I am like, Oh my God,
Tracey (21:01):
it's incredible to see your girl's transformation.
I wish mine was that drastic.
It wasn't.
I don't think I have any prepictures that would be.
Lindsey (21:12):
I just think that must have indicated the level of
damage.
To be that puffy, like yourliver is not functioning
properly or something.
You're, Toxin removal systeminternally is messed up.
It is not okay.
And I feel like I can pinpointit in other people too.
Kelly (21:30):
I was going to just say that.
Yes, I can.
I notice it too.
Lindsey (21:34):
And then I'm like, Oh boy, I was there,
Tracey (21:37):
and as we age, it gets worse.
Talk about it ages you as well.
Yeah, you guys probably saw myreel about what happened to
Randy and I, you might not havesaw it, Kel.
So I had posted a reel and thiswould be an interesting
conversation going on a littlebit off track here, but I'll get
your guys input and thoughts onthis because I think it's
(22:00):
something that in my alcoholfree era for three years now,
and I've gotten more comfortablewith that decision in my life.
I lean into kind of having thoseconversations with people.
So Randy and I were out for his50th birthday.
We were in Collingwood for thenight.
We went to this great restaurantand we got seated very close to
(22:21):
this other couple, like rightnext to each other.
So they were very friendly, verynice people.
Obviously they were there fordinner.
They were just having a couple'sweekend.
They had seven kids.
between the two of them.
Like they were a second marriageto or a second union like Randy
and I and between the two ofthem they had seven kids and all
(22:42):
teenagers.
Kelly (22:43):
Oh, wow.
They needed a weekend away.
Tracey (22:45):
Yeah.
So they were away for theweekend and the waitress had
come over and wished Randy ahappy birthday.
She knew we were there for abirthday celebration.
We said, yeah, he's 50 and thepeople at the table beside us
were like, Oh my God, 50.
Seriously?
You guys.
Don't look 50.
Are you 50 to?
They say to me, and I said, I'mgoing to be in December.
And they're like, Oh my gosh,you guys look great.
(23:07):
And then as the night proceeded,they continued to chat with us
and the waitress came over andasked us what we wanted to
drink.
And of course I ordered a sodaand Randy ordered iced tea and
then observantly, the girl saysto me, Oh, you guys don't drink.
And I said no, we don't.
And she goes, Oh, that's why youlook so young.
It's a joke, right?
(23:27):
Correct.
Yeah, that is correct.
Yeah.
So then two things happen there.
I know, we always say you don'tneed to explain yourself, you
can just say no or no, thankyou.
And I could have left it atthat.
And I think early in yoursobriety or in being alcohol
free.
It's important to know that youdon't have to explain yourself.
(23:49):
I 100 percent agree with that,because in those situations, and
when you're new, you may not beas comfortable with it.
But I find myself more and morenow that I usually do respond
with no, but I used to, and Imade the choice three years ago
not to, because I think twothings happen then.
One, You recognize it's a choiceand you open people's eyes to
(24:13):
the fact that it is a choice forthem as well.
I also think it helps inbringing awareness and creating
less shame around not drinking.
I did tell the girl, I said,yeah, I used to drink actually,
but I gave it up three yearsago.
And then.
I had, the Lindsay scenario thatLindsay speaks about very often,
(24:35):
her whole explanation of why shedrinks because she had seven
children that are all teenagers.
Lindsey (24:41):
But see, here's a woman looking for relief, right?
Yes.
Tracey (24:45):
Yeah, so we had that whole conversation and it was
just really interesting.
It's the first time that someonejust out of observation Said to
me, oh, you guys don't drinkobviously I've had that question
when somebody's offered me adrink or I've been in a social
scenario where I'm saying no,thank you.
But I hadn't had it justrandomly like that.
(25:05):
So I thought it was reallyinteresting.
Kelly (25:07):
That's awesome.
I love it.
It's your truth, right?
Yeah, when we're open with ourtruth, then we subconsciously
liberate other people to.
Tracey (25:17):
But my point in that story is that it will make you
look younger.
Yes.
Exactly.
It does.
I think it's not going to make
Kelly (25:24):
me look older and not be drinking.
Yes, it ages.
I was talking to somebody who ispossibly getting back into the
dating scene and we were talkingabout people our age, like 45 to
55 age group, or up to 60 orwhatever.
At this age, this is the agewhere you can see.
Clearly, if somebody's takingcare of themselves or not like
(25:46):
it really shows because there'ssuch a difference.
Tracey (25:50):
I was going to say, yeah, I feel like I notice it
more now in people that are ourage.
You're saying you can See rightoff the hop, how the drinking is
starting to affect
Kelly (26:00):
catches up, but you cannot treat your body like that
forever.
I learned that the hard way, butalso your body is miraculous and
can heal itself.
I also learned
Tracey (26:12):
well, and don't get me wrong.
I was puffy too.
When I was drinking, I justwasn't as extreme as you to I
don't have the extreme beforeand afters to prove it.
Or I just didn't allow myself toget pictures when I was looking
that way.
I don't know, but I couldprobably drum up a few from when
I lived in Calgary because Iremember specifically when I
(26:33):
lived in Calgary, I drank a lotof beer.
And I was always.
Inflamed.
Lindsey (26:38):
Yeah.
I always felt bloated too, allof the time, even like I was a
binge weekend drinker, just inthe week I was super bloated all
the time.
And since quitting, it took alittle while, I would say, all
these benefits, I wasn't feelingthem or seeing them immediately.
It took about a year.
I don't have issues withbloating anymore.
(27:00):
I don't have that puffy face andI think, those things you can
see.
And that's the biggest reasonthat I continue not to drink is
it's just part of my self carenow.
One of the ways that I take careof myself, just like working out
or running or, trying to eat,balanced foods that agree with
(27:21):
my body it's just my self care,but yeah man, I used to be so
bloated.
Tracey (27:27):
That was hot on the list of physical benefits Linds was
less bloating and that has to dosomewhat with the visceral fat
and the inflammation.
Lindsey (27:36):
The visceral fat, if people don't know what that is,
that's the fat that's aroundyour internal organs.
So it's not the subcutaneous,like underneath the skin fat.
This is the deep internal fatthat's in between your liver and
kidneys and it's just jammed inthere.
If you have a high visceral fatnumber, that is not a good
thing.
Tracey (27:56):
Yeah, and alcohol doesn't help it.
Lindsey (27:58):
No, it makes it worse.
Kelly (28:01):
I was also because I was so hung over, I was waking up in
the morning and I'm takingnaproxen and chugging pepto.
So imagine what that was doingto my body and my cells and God.
Tracey (28:16):
I think I have mentioned probably on my episode or around
the beginning of us starting thepodcast that another thing that
was happening to me was I wasgetting heartburn all the time.
Kelly (28:27):
Yeah.
Tracey (28:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So same thing, I was poppingRolaids and all those.
It is so bad.
Antacid medication, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
And even Advil, I would takeAdvil a lot more often one
because of hangover.
If I had a headache, cause oftenI think I mentioned how when I
(28:49):
was drinking red wine regularlythen I was waking up all the
time with this dull headache andthen of course joint pain, like
achiness, right?
And Advil's.
over time when you're taking itregularly isn't good for your
liver either.
Kelly (29:04):
No.
Tracey (29:04):
Pile that on with the alcohol and you're really doing
a number on your liver.
Sheesh.
Lindsey (29:13):
I asked our last guest.
I think Tracey you had mentionedto that was a good closing
question, right?
What the most surprising benefitof getting sober was and I think
maybe to close us out.
Do you think we should answerthat question?
Kelly's thinking.
Tracey (29:30):
Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to think what wouldbe
Lindsey (29:33):
the most surprising benefit, like maybe something
that you didn't expect from.
Kelly (29:37):
Oh, my god.
Creating a completely differentlife for myself.
Like I thought I had my wholelife figured out.
And that's the way it was goingto be forever.
And nope, alcohol revealed thatwas not true.
And I faced a lot of truths andcreated a life that I really
(29:58):
love.
Lindsey (29:58):
Oh, I love that.
It was a shocker plot twist.
Yeah.
Huge.
Tracey (30:04):
Yeah.
Yeah, your whole life changedcompletely.
I would have to say definitelythe increase in motivation and I
think mental clarity.
Which in turn really boosted myconfidence, because it just gave
me this drive to really go afterthings that I hadn't and give
(30:24):
myself that push to do thethings.
I wasn't holding myself backanymore.
That was the big thing, I wasconfident enough in myself and
my abilities to push forward tothe things that I wanted to do.
And out of that came creatingthis podcast with you guys.
Mike used to joke, he wasshocked that I actually went
through with it.
And then it came about soquickly.
(30:46):
But that was part of it.
I saw a vision for this and Iwrote it down and I did it.
And that was probably the firsttime I've done that in my life.
But it wasn't the first time Ihad so many ideas or thoughts or
desires and drive to do things.
It's just like that part of mewas living dormant inside of me
(31:07):
for so long.
So that breaking free was thebiggest surprise benefit of
quitting alcohol for me.
Kelly (31:16):
That's so awesome.
Trace.
Like I told the story abouthaving a coach, the year before
I quit, I didn't tell him aboutmy drinking, but I knew after
these coaching sessions, I knewthat everything I wanted was on
the other side of alcohol.
My intuition was telling me thatthe year before I quit.
Yeah.
What about you, Ms.
(31:36):
Lenz?
Lindsey (31:37):
Oh, man.
Even as I asked the question, Iwas like, Oh, what is mine?
And I was going to say theconfidence and everything
because I feel like in my 40s,I'm in my early 40s, I am the
most confident I have ever been.
Not only does that come withage, but I think for me that
also came with ditching booze,but then this really just popped
(31:58):
in my mind.
It almost brought tears to myeyes.
So one of my most surprisingbenefits of getting sober and
staying that way is being ableto look in the mirror.
And look at myself and smile andfeel like looking at the person
staring back at me.
I like this person.
I love this person.
And holy shit, like we're here.
(32:20):
I feel good.
And looking at pictures ofmyself, not wanting to look away
or have this shock of holy shit,that's me.
In a bad way where I look at aphoto and I'm like, I just look
horrible my eyes were so sad, Iwas so puffy, I was so
overweight, and I just lookedhorrible.
(32:40):
And I was like, who the hell isthat?
That can't be me, but now I seepictures of myself and I'm like,
Oh hello there.
Just have this the looking inthe mirror and just being able
to really look at myself, lookinto my own eyes and feel like I
love myself.
That was.
So surprising.
I didn't expect.
I think I felt the opposite forso long, a self loathing, a
(33:02):
shame and embarrassment.
Maybe like I wasn't where Iwanted to be in life where, I'm
looking at other people aroundme and I'm like, wow, like
they're so far ahead or how arethey there?
And I'm here I just feel theconfidence now.
I feel the self love and yeah,it's the looking in the mirror
and seeing pictures of myself.
Those two really surprised me.
Tracey (33:22):
I just want to say, Lins, that I feel like we've
watched that transformation foryou in the time that we've been
on this podcast.
Like I have seen you change intoalmost a totally different
person than when I first metyou, in season one and it's been
amazing.
Kelly (33:41):
Yes, and
Tracey (33:43):
yeah, it's been incredible to watch.
So good for you.
To that point, and what I wassaying too, I feel like we took
our power back.
Kelly (33:55):
Yeah.
Lindsey (33:56):
Yeah.
You go well like that.
That's so well said.
Kelly (34:00):
So true trace that shit had such a hold on me.
Lindsey (34:05):
Look at us.
Yeah.
We took our power back.
I love it.
That is the quote of the season.
Tracey (34:16):
There you go.
That's one to end on, yeah, Ijust want to say before we wrap
it up, thank you to all ourincredible guests this season.
I always like to give a shoutout to them because the show
wouldn't be what it is withoutthem.
We had so many amazingcontributors this year and we
love it.
(34:37):
Keep reaching out to us.
Keep coming on and sharing yourknowledge and everything you're
doing in this space with usbecause it's incredible.
It's an incredible gift.
Everybody's giving when theycome on and share their story.
So yes, just a shout out to ouramazing guests.
Our guests are the best.
As they say.
(34:57):
They're awesome.
It was an incredible year fullof lots and lots of guests and
incredible stories.
Kelly (35:03):
Yeah.
Lindsey (35:04):
Absolutely.
Tracey (35:05):
All right, girls.
I think that's a wrap.
Lindsey (35:07):
Is that a wrap?
Should I close us out?
Tracey (35:10):
Our closing queen, Lindsay.
Lindsey (35:14):
Hey.
Everybody, that is a wrap onseason three of the LAF Life
podcast, but if you haven'tlistened to season one and two,
don't go anywhere, go backanywhere.
You get your podcast, listen toseason one and two, replay your
favorite episodes.
We will be back in Septemberwith brand new episodes and
(35:35):
guests.
We're so excited to reconnectwith you.
We're also excited to have alittle bit of a break.
But, until we meet again, guys,you know what to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (35:45):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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