July 3, 2023 • 51 mins
In our Season 2 Finale we celebrate 50 published episodes by taking a moment to reflect on our own personal "AF" journey's including what we have taken away from all our amazing guests this season. We have compiled our own lists of the things we know to be true in our healing journey that we coined "The LAF Life 12". These are things we believe could be helpful to others considering the path to an alcohol free life. Please tune in to this insightful closing episode! We look forward to celebrating another 25 episodes with our listeners next Season!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:02):
welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:25):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:42):
Hey everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF Lifepodcast.
We are so glad that you areback.
If you haven't already, makesure you hit that subscribe
button so that you don't missany new episodes that come out
on Tuesday.
This is our last episode of thisseason, and we have learned so
(01:04):
much this season from all ourguests and just the
conversations that we have thatare unanswered every week.
We were saying before we hitrecord.
This is like a little meetingfor us, we have officially hit
50 episodes.
Wow.
And I'm so proud of us, youguys.
Yay.
Yay, yay.
(01:26):
Reflecting back on our guestsand the conversations that we've
had with them, along with someof our own.
Experiences we were chattingabout some of the things that we
would recommend to friends oreven our listeners if they came
to us and said, I wanna ditchbooze, but I'm not really sure
(01:48):
where to start.
And we even coined it, the LAFLife, 12.
So today we're gonna talk aboutsome of the things that you can
do or follow or start to beginliving an alcohol-free life.
So let's get into it.
Okay.
So I don't know about you guys,but when I was thinking about
(02:09):
this, for me, the number onething is recognizing the need.
Coming to a point in your lifeor in your experience with
alcohol where you're like, man,shit just needs to change.
I can't keep doing this.
And I know when I was drinkingtowards the end, I would drink
(02:30):
every weekend regardless of thenegative things that happened or
any negative consequences thathappened.
I would always say to myself,I'm never drinking again.
And then guess where I woulddrive to every Friday?
The liquor store.
Yeah.
What do you guys think?
What would be your number onething?
Kelly (02:48):
My number one on my list is similar to yours, I think.
I wrote Surrender.
Oh.
So surrender to the fact Icouldn't do this anymore.
Yeah.
And part of that for me wasasking for help.
Lindsey (03:02):
Oh, that's hard.
Asking for help.
Oh, yeah.
That officially means thatthere's an issue.
When you reach out and asksomebody for help, that's okay,
this is beyond my control.
I can't do this anymore, and Ineed something outside myself to
help me here.
What do you think, Mike?
(03:23):
What do you think?
Mike (03:24):
Yeah I would agree with what you said, for sure.
Yeah.
I think the number one thing forme would be to listen to your
inner voice.
Listen to the voice I was gonnasay, was it hearing the little
voice for you that was like, itjust talks.
It's annoying.
It's trying to tell yousomething.
Yeah.
And I think it's goes withanything in life.
If you were trying to exercise,if you're trying to, budget,
(03:46):
you're trying to do whatever itis, the voice is always there
and nagging at you because it'sthat thing that's your focus.
And I think we get to a pointthat it starts to become our
focus of, is this a problem?
Why do I want to like all thesethings, go through your head.
At least for me went through myhead and I finally just, like we
talked about, you try maybe aweek, you try for two weeks.
(04:09):
Or some people just say, screwit, I'm done.
Everybody's got their ownplaybook.
Yeah, that was for sure thenumber one, two, and three thing
for me.
Love that.
I love that.
Three strikes and you're out.
Lindsey (04:19):
That's the thing, I recognized the need for a while,
but I didn't act on it.
There was a long period of timeTrace.
I don't know.
What about you?
Tracey (04:28):
Yeah, I think mine aligns with all of yours.
I had self-awareness oh.
Becoming aware that you have aproblem, aware that you need to
change surrendering to thatawareness.
Listening to that inner voice,so I think that's all connected.
It starts with that, whatever itis for you.
Kelly (04:47):
Yeah.
Tracey (04:47):
That brings recognition like you said, I like the
recognition of the need.
And I assume you're alluding tothe need to change Linds.
Lindsey (04:58):
You got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I sat with it for a whilebecause it's not like you
recognize the need and then bangthe next day.
You're like, that's it.
I'm quitting drinking.
And that might be for somepeople, there are some people
who do that.
But for me, it's like I knew, Irecognized, I sat on it for a
bit.
I knew I needed to make achange, but I would still go
(05:19):
back to drinking.
Despite all the negativity andthe hangovers and the arguments
and the hearing about the stuffI said and did I don't know, I,
for me to actually make thechange I had to sit with that
for a bit and that's just how itwent for me.
Kelly (05:36):
Yeah.
I think for a lot of people it'sa long time.
That makes me think of ourguest, Caroline, this season and
how.
She was so young and she hadthat recognition and that
self-awareness of, right?
Needing to change.
And she got, she drank for along time.
She was in her early twenties, Ithink she told us, yeah.
When she first recognized thefact that one day she was gonna
need to quit because she alreadyhad a problem.
(05:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
The second thing for me wasafter recognizing the need to
make a change, going throughyour social media and you don't
have to necessarily delete butbe mindful of what you're
consuming.
So if you've got a bunch offriends that love drinking and
are posting about it, if you'retrying to make a change in your
(06:21):
life, maybe hit that unfollowbutton.
Even celebrity accounts, ifyou're consuming, all these
party images and people who areposting their drinks and it, I
think just go through socialmedia and recognize the life
that you want to start to createand if there are things that are
(06:44):
contradictory to that, unfollowthat's good.
Yeah.
I had self-regulate Linds, whichI think, Ooh, ooh, what does
that mean?
Self-regulate.
To me it almost ties in withthat because mindful of
consumption would be likeself-regulation.
But I was more along the linesthinking of you start to begin
the process of you need toself-regulate your consumption
(07:08):
of alcohol, self-regulating inyour daily routine, and putting
those kind of guidelines inplace for yourself to set
yourself up for success so thatyou can cut it out or cut down
or whatever your goal is.
That's what I thought asself-regulation.
That's good.
My number two, which was hardfor me, was to forgive myself.
(07:31):
Oh yeah.
The fact that I had to give upthis part of my life and the
fact that I got to the pointwhere I needed to quit.
Tracey (07:38):
Yeah.
I have that Kel but mine's waydown on the list.
Cause to me, yes.
Forgiveness comes way later andit's an ongoing process.
Lindsey (07:49):
I was gonna say yes, Tracey.
It's not something that youprobably just say, okay, I
forgive myself.
No, you're probably working.
I feel like I can combine mynumber two and number three now
that I look at them like,forgive myself and then accept
where I'm at.
Acceptance.
Yeah.
But I love that kinda similarand the same step.
(08:10):
I love that.
That's funny that I didn't evenhave that on my list, but I
think too, when you're talkingabout forgiving yourself and
acceptance, we had just talkedabout on one of our previous
podcasts, the recognition thatthe person, you aren't the
problem.
It's that substance.
That's the problem, right?
(08:31):
I know that you know youractions and words and things you
control that, but I thinkfeeling shame around how you
behaved when you consumed asubstance that's addictive,
right?
And totally messes with yourbrain and body.
I think you gotta forgiveyourself.
You gotta cut yourself someslack, yeah.
You gotta get out of the shamecycle for sure.
(08:52):
Yes.
Tracey (08:52):
Yeah, part of that does happen naturally when you give
up alcohol.
You start to slowly pullyourself out of it, because I
think with every day you're notdrinking and you're keeping that
promise to yourself, the shamediminishes.
Lindsey (09:07):
That is so true.
And I think too, theself-acceptance and then the
recognition that there's a needto change.
When you bring something tolight, you take away the power.
When it's a secret, it has sucha hold over you.
You work so hard to hide it andit's exhausting, another thing I
have on my list here is knowwhat your triggers are.
And have a plan, right?
(09:27):
If there's a particularenvironment that's causes you
stress or environmental cuesthat cause you to wanna drink or
different relationships, likeyou're going to your mom's house
and you're like fuck, every timeI go there, all I wanna do is
drink wine.
Or I can't stand her.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Mike's just laughing.
(09:48):
Mike, talk to me.
What do you think about that?
Mike (09:50):
No, no, they're all good points.
They're all good points.
I think what women do betterthan men, and I'm of course
speaking of myself is you'vereally dialed it in and taken
the time to think about it.
I think about these things.
I'm a, yeah, really bad atwriting things down.
I can attest that in all areasof my life, it's my number one
thing I need to do better.
(10:11):
But I think when presented witha question I can certainly talk
about it.
And the one thing that comes tomind too is it hints on a few
things, but own your shit, man.
Yes, forgive yourself.
Yes, be cognizant of yourtriggers, but own your shit.
Because I think as humans, wemake excuses for ourselves to
make ourselves feel better, butthere's nothing wrong with
(10:33):
owning your shit and acceptingthat, I'm gonna be a better
person now cuz I'm owning mystuff.
I'm owning it.
I have to own it.
Yeah.
All those things you regretdoing and saying when you're
drunk, you own it.
I, many a times stuck my foot inmy mouth.
Probably still stick my foot inmy mouth sometimes when I'm
sober, but at least, if owningyour shit is part of healing in
(10:54):
some regards.
That for sure would be up therefor me.
Kelly (10:57):
Trace, what's your number three?
Tracey (10:59):
Self discovery.
In many different ways.
I think rediscovering yourselfis part of that.
Discovering new things, newthings and new ways to
experience life.
So yeah, I think self discoveryis something you start early in
the process and that's why I hadit as number three because right
(11:21):
off the hop for me, I waslooking for alternatives to my
everyday glass of wine.
Healthy alternatives.
What could I turn that into thatwould be beneficial to me
opposed to something that washarming me or not making me feel
good?
Mike (11:39):
New habits, new routines.
Walking and.
Tracey (11:41):
Yes.
Yeah.
Lindsey (11:43):
And I have start listening to podcasts about
living alcohol free or about theeffects of alcohol.
Get a book, educate yourself.
Educate yourself, and startfilling your feeds with,
educational things about theeffects of alcohol or people who
are sober.
(12:04):
Start surrounding yourself onsocial media space, virtually
with stuff like that.
Read a book, if anybody has orwants recommendations, there are
lots.
You can find them online.
You can reach out to one of us.
But yeah,
Kelly (12:18):
that was a big thing for me too.
With the podcast, I think Ijust, early on, right?
Or very early, yes.
On actually that's what led meto quit.
I've started listening to thembefore I quit.
But Yeah, that also gave me thatsense of not feeling so alone.
I would just listen to this onepodcast where all it was an hour
of one person's story, what wedo with our guest episodes.
But they literally just readtheir story for an hour and it
(12:42):
made me feel way less alone cuzI could see myself in some way
and all of them.
So that really helped me a lotbecause I also couldn't be with
my thoughts at that point.
I could not.
And that's ok.
Yeah, that's ok.
Yeah,
Tracey (12:57):
I was like that too.
Kel.
I started listening to podcastsand Yeah.
I was in a Facebook group.
That was another thing I didtoo.
Through the group just saw otherpeople Trying to live alcohol
free as well.
Getting to their two days, fivedays, one year and yeah.
Encouraging.
And that was, yeah, that wasvery motivational.
(13:17):
But along those same lines, Ijust had it further down my
list.
I had connection community,finding your tribe.
Similar to what you're saying,Lynn's, surrounding yourself
with the right people and theright support as well.
Yeah.
This community is amazing aswe've spoken to so many times on
this podcast.
(13:38):
But really in doing this podcastthat exposed me to what an
amazing community it is.
I didn't even realize howsupportive and abundant it was
until we started doing this.
And we've had so many peoplereach out and we've connected
with so many wonderful peopleand it's been awesome.
Kelly (13:58):
Yeah.
I put I don't know.
What number are you keep keepingtrack of our numbers.
I'm not even, I think we're likefour, four or five.
I think we're on four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Around there.
I had to commit to the work,like really commit to the work
around building a whole newlife, really.
And then digging into why Idrank like that, but committing
(14:21):
like it's work.
It's takes a lot and it's hard,but I think it takes a big
commitment.
Mike (14:27):
Self discovery, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Lindsey (14:30):
I have on my list number five, time to ditch it,
set a date and stick to it.
It's okay, this is the date.
Mark it down in your calendar.
And that's it.
Set it and forget it we'reditching it today and then pour
it all down the drain.
Pour it all down the drain.
(14:50):
I actually did that.
I had some booze in my house andI was like, Kate, nope.
It's all going down the drain.
And then track your milestones.
Yes.
You made it 24 hours.
Fucking mark that shit with agold star and get some stickers
and some colored markers andmake mark it down in your
calendar.
I did, I forgot about that.
I printed off calendars, like amonthly view calendar, and I had
(15:11):
them in my bedroom and every dayI put like an X on the day that
I didn't drink.
I love it.
And then I'd print up the nextmonth and stick it on there.
I probably did it for say five,six months.
Yeah.
I needed that.
So helpful.
I love the visual of that.
Tracey (15:25):
That's part of Kelly's commitment too.
And it's accountability.
Holding yourself accountable.
And going back to keeping yourpromise to yourself.
I had self care, self-love.
We've touched on that many atimes on the podcast and the
importance of that you reallyneed to focus on that,
especially in the early stages
Lindsey (15:46):
So true.
Yeah.
A lot of people lump in winewith self-care, Chloe danger,
Mike's laughing.
Oh,
Mike (15:54):
mommy.
Wine culture.
That's what, yep.
Yeah.
I think early on, I remember Ithink I said this to Tracey a
few times, but what shocked meabout, one of the reasons why I
got off Facebook was Just theglorification.
We've talked about thisthousands of times and these
Hey, it's 11:00 AM it's oneo'clock.
My biggest I don't even knowwhat you call this, but it's
(16:16):
it's okay for women, and it wasmostly women saying, Hey, it's
11:00 AM and it's, but yet ifsome dude puts something on,
it's 12 o'clock somewhere, thefirst person to hate on the man
is a woman.
And it's oh it's ridiculous.
Wow.
Now here I am defending thewhole, it's 12, 12 o'clock
(16:36):
somewhere, but my point I'mtrying to make is that, It's
bullshit from either sides, andit seemed to me, maybe it's
because I'm a man, I don't knowthat it was more accepting of a
woman to post something with abig wine glass I would agree.
Ridiculously sized wine glass.
You could fit a family inside ofit and make a joke out of it.
But,
Lindsey (16:56):
have you seen my old Instagram post?
I know.
I was just gonna say that wasme.
That was me.
Oh,
Tracey (17:02):
Mike.
Yeah.
I think we're all guilty ofthat.
Yep.
Mike (17:07):
But I think we do it to feel like part of a group, part
of included we're talking aboutright now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a culture out there thatTracey just hit on it's society
or it's a group, whatever youwant to call it, of people who
are the opposite ends of thespectrum of these other groups
that people are, talking aboutall the time.
(17:27):
It's.
This is why you gotta clean upyour social media.
You don't necessarily have todelete things or people just
unfollow them so that it's notappearing in your feed.
Do you know what I mean?
So when you're, if you'rescrolling or don't go on social
media
Kelly (17:39):
or don't go on social media.
Yeah.
But I'm like, one thing at atime.
If we're gonna try and quitbooze, let's not try and quit
social media at the same time.
But you're right.
Sorry Lynn, go ahead.
No.
Yeah, I just wanted to say that.
No, I was just gonna say, Ialways think about what was life
like before cell phones?
What was life like before theinternet?
Before, yeah.
(17:59):
Facebook, we all lived, we'realive when these things were
happening.
So there's something, I don'tknow what it is, but I wonder if
there was a way to do parents,the socialized, it was always
drinking, at least as far as,yeah.
I remember my mom taking mysister and I to a friend's
house, and for sure she'd have aglass of wine.
(18:20):
It wasn't like she was gettingbombed, but it was just socially
acceptable.
And I think now it's not, butmaybe it's more, I don't know.
I don't know.
I think that, I was thinking, asyou guys were talking earlier, I
think a certain personality cando certain things that another
can't, like introvert versusextrovert passive versus
aggressive.
(18:40):
Some are good at some things andsome aren't, and maybe that has
a factor in how someone goesabout quitting.
Like you guys alluded to, Kellysaid, gold stars or, markers
visualized being visual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I would never even think todo that, but it makes a lot of
sense.
Goals, I think if you're nottaught that in other areas of
(19:00):
your life, then yeah, maybe it'stime to explore it.
For sure.
That was already part of mylife.
Yeah, that makes sense.
That I did it right.
Lindsey (19:07):
Interesting.
Yeah.
It wasn't for me.
I'm stubborn, I just was like,no, I'm not doing this anymore.
Willpower, is when you wannacall it, it's funny because
people have said recently, ohhey, you don't drink.
How long has it been, you say, Idon't know.
Three years.
Three and a half years.
It's not even a number anymore.
Oh, good for you.
Oh, that's great.
(19:27):
Good for you.
And it's thanks.
Yeah.
I don't dunno what to say.
Yeah.
Thanks.
That's all you have to say.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's weird.
Thanks for what I know.
Thanks for being a rebel in thissociety.
That's so completely boo soaked,but is it them saying, Good for
you.
Because they're trying tosubliminally say they wish they
could do it,
Kelly (19:48):
or they probably think they could never do it.
I don't know about wishing theycould do it, but they probably
think they wouldn't do it.
It's interesting.
Ooh,
Lindsey (19:57):
interesting.
I think, yeah.
I'm trying to think back too,when somebody would tell me that
they were alcohol free for somany months or years, I would be
like, good for you.
That's awesome.
But I would say that from aplace of, I don't think I could
ever do that.
Oh, too, I was like,fascinating.
I'm like, what?
How.
Mike (20:13):
Yeah.
No, I probably would say you'rewasting your time.
good luck with that.
Kelly (20:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get outta here.
Yeah.
Get outta here.
Okay.
Where are we?
What's next?
Lens?
Lindsey (20:25):
Oh, geez.
I am number six on my list wasfind.
Wait, you wait.
Oh, no.
Number five.
I didn't share number.
Okay.
What was your
Kelly (20:32):
share your Similar to what's already come up, but find
replacements.
Be open to trying new thingsbecause if you've just been
drinking, like I was, drinkingwas my hobby.
That was my hobby.
Me too.
So I didn't know what kind ofhobbies.
And I've talked to other peoplewith similar, experiences.
So like I don't even know how tofill my time now.
Cuz you do end up having a lotof time when you're not Yeah.
(20:52):
Drinking and chasing hangovers.
So for my top three replacementsfor wine moving my body,
spending time in nature and whatI put in my body, like food
wise.
I love that.
That's what I have on my list.
That's next.
Find new beverages.
Find new things that you like todrink, enjoy.
(21:12):
So kombucha.
Some people are like, hatekombucha.
Great.
Then don't drink it.
There's a lot of alcohol free.
Beverages that are delicious.
I've got this Cavita sparklingfermented drink It's like a
lemon cayenne thing.
And I get it at Superstore inthe green aisle and it's one of
my favorite things.
Take a trip to the health foodstore.
(21:33):
The health food aisle, or in,you live in Winnipeg?
The sober markets.
Sober markets, yeah.
All those places.
St.
Leon Lens.
I know you love.
Yes, I They've got tons there.
Yes, they have tons of boostfree choices this year.
Tracey (21:46):
I'm only on number five too.
And number five for me was self.
That's okay.
Got number five for me was whatwas self preservation setting
boundaries, which, oh gosh.
We had a whole episode onboundaries.
Such a good episode.
Lindsey (22:02):
Yeah.
Would you set boundaries?
With other people, setboundaries with people, set
boundaries with yourself.
Set boundaries for things thattrigger you, right?
Your environment.
So yeah.
Whether that be social media,whether that be social events,
whatever it is.
So it's okay to say no and notparticipate and remove yourself
(22:24):
even if in the middle ofsomething too.
If you're not feeling good aboutit, it's okay to be like, okay,
I gotta go now.
Yes.
See you later.
And you don't have to explaineither.
No.
Tracey (22:33):
Yeah.
Like I said, I think it's aboutself preservation in that period
of your life when you're tryingto accomplish and do something
better for yourself.
Lindsey (22:43):
Yeah.
And be kind and gentle withyourself too, right?
Tracey (22:47):
Yeah.
And then my number six wasconnection and community, which
we already touched on.
That was seven.
Number seven for me is findsupport groups that are
supportive of your new healthylife that you're trying to
create for yourself, because youare the average of the five
people that you hang around withthe most, right?
(23:08):
So it's about either connectingwith new environments and people
weed'em out.
We weed'em out, right?
If you've decided to uplevelyourself you've made it clear
what you're doing with yourlife, a vision you have for
yourself.
The substance no longer fits.
(23:29):
And you invite them up to joinyou and they say, no, we're
gonna stay down here.
That's okay.
I'm not coming back down.
I'm gonna stay up here.
Kelly (23:37):
And that can be really challenging.
It was for me.
I'm not sure if I ever sharedthis on the podcast before, but
I remember I was having sometrouble in some of my
relationships when I first quit.
Friendships, marriage, all ofthose things.
And I remember my therapistsaying to me just remember
Kelly, you are the one whochanged.
And I think that's reallyimportant.
(23:57):
We can't expect other people tocome along with us.
Or even like that we've changed.
And that's okay.
That's okay.
That's the point.
Yeah.
That's okay.
That's true.
I think it's important thoughand we've touched on this you
need, some sort of level ofsupport from people that are in
(24:18):
the same place as you.
Other alcohol free people.
Yes.
Like we have connected with oneanother, but that doesn't
necessarily mean, as we'vealluded to, that you need to do
the 12 step program.
Find what works for you, findthe support group, whether it be
the three people that we haveright here, or one person even.
(24:42):
That works for you.
Yes.
My number seven was mindfulnessand meditation.
Oh, that's good.
I can't believe I don't evenhave that on my list, but that's
so good.
I know Mike would agree withthat one because he is touched
on it many times and he utilizesthat one for himself.
Mike (25:03):
Not lately, but maybe you need to get back on it.
That's a daily, multiple timesdaily practice for me at this
point.
But yeah, if I'm not carving outa little bit of time to meditate
a few times a day it's gonna bea pretty chaotic day in my
brain.
Lindsey (25:18):
I have that on my list.
Start a new hobby and practicehealthy living.
Walking, joining a new gym,swimming, I don't know whatever
it is.
Golf.
Golf.
Yep.
Knitting, crochet, somethingyeah.
I don't know.
Start something new.
Oh, yeah.
I, you don't wanna listen, I amterrible at golf.
(25:41):
That would probably, yeah.
And find some golfers that don'tdrink because that is a big
place for drinking.
That's, you're not the rightpeople challenge.
Yeah.
But there are people that don'tdrink that do golf.
There are people.
Mike (25:55):
Yeah.
Yes.
Usually my experience with golfis you want to golf with the
people who drink the morningafter, after they've gotten
drunk.
Kelly (26:02):
Cause then your game is gonna be way better than yours.
Mike (26:06):
They're hungover then.
Yeah.
It's good.
Nice.
It's good.
But no, that's yeah that'schallenge.
Challenge for me, golfing withmost people I golf would drink,
but for the most part.
They're not pushing it on you oranything like that.
That's good.
Yeah.
Some people just golf to dodrinking.
Oh, yeah.
They golf just to drink.
Lindsey (26:28):
I used to go just to drive the cart to drink.
You drink beer?
Kelly (26:32):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
If I think of any golfing thatI've done in the past, there was
a lot of alcohol consumption.
There's guy drunken cart drivingfor sure.
Oh, for sure.
There's the guys that will buythe first drink and then have 20
drinks in their bag, just it's,comic.
Yeah.
Not just guys, Mike.
Not just guys.
Mike (26:51):
Yeah, fair enough.
Fair enough.
Lindsey (26:54):
I would have on my wine bra.
No, I'm just kidding.
Have you seen that?
Geez.
Yeah.
There.
Kelly (27:08):
Okay.
When I made this part I musthave been thinking about going
through the healing processbecause for me, a lot of my
drinking has to do withunresolved childhood stuff and
stuff like that.
Yeah.
So I wrote surrender to whatcomes up when it comes up.
Like I really believe that wedon't get these things that come
(27:29):
up to deal with until we'reready.
So surrender to it and be like,okay, time to deal with this
thing.
And then
Lindsey (27:35):
was I'm no.
It out.
Yeah.
Kelly (27:39):
Something that I work on daily is dropping the
self-judgment and any timeexpectations.
So sometimes I'll, do all thiswork around healing and then it
takes me so long sometimes, or Ithink it's done and then it
comes back so I can be reallyhard on myself with things like
that.
So just dropping theself-judgment and not having any
(28:00):
expectations as to how long thisthing is going to take to heal.
Just I love that I said like Ihave on this list too, but what
goes along with this?
Oh, you think that what you guyssaid was the self-love and the
self-care, it's gotta be part ofthat and be, what did you say
there, Lynn?
Be kind and gentle withyourself.
I think that's all part Patient.
And patient, my gosh.
(28:21):
Yeah.
Patients tattooed on myforehead.
I said, why do you think itcomes back?
Because I'm not done with it.
Or it's not done with you orit's not done with me.
There's still something for meto learn
Lindsey (28:29):
but you spent so many years drinking, for me, you
spent so many years, we'retalking, we crazy.
I drank for 30 years.
That's fucking crazy.
Think about that.
Abusively.
Think about that.
You're gonna be just magicallyhealed in 30 days.
This is a lifelong process of,being alcohol free.
(28:50):
Oh shit.
Why am I crying so much?
I don't know.
Let's maybe start journaling.
Oh, why does this trigger me?
I don't know.
Okay.
Write it down.
Why does this trigger me again,it's the same thing.
I don't get it.
Let's think about this.
Let's listen to some podcastsabout trauma and relationships.
Oh, okay it's not gonna be anice package of this is how
you're going to heal and getmessy, sober.
(29:11):
And it's a
Kelly (29:12):
freaking, it's messy
Lindsey (29:14):
mess, and you continue to do the work.
Sometimes there are days I justunexplainably unexplained,
what's the word?
I can't even say it withoutexplanation.
I'm just bawling my eyes out,yeah.
I, and then I'm like, what isthat all about?
I don't flow, let those tears.
But yeah.
Like I just feel better after,or, yeah.
(29:35):
You're not drowning yourself inalcohol anymore and Oh, that's
right.
Kelly (29:39):
Brain was always there.
I just drank so I didn't have todeal with it and cry and feel
angry for 30 years.
With that, sorry, I'm just gonnago with these here.
Just go for it.
Yeah, that's okay.
Because it kinda all goestogether.
With that acceptance of yourpast, accepting every single
thing.
Lindsey (29:57):
Mistakes you made, everything shit.
You said shit.
You said shit that happened toyou, shit that other people did
to you.
How long you stayed inrelationships that you shouldn't
have stayed in acceptingeverything.
Thanks.
And then what also goes alongwith that is forgiving others.
(30:18):
So forgiving other people thatmaybe played a part in some of
those things.
Do you have to physicallycontact them and be like, oh,
very good question,
Kelly (30:26):
Lindsay.
I wrote in brackets, like Isaid, often without getting an
apology.
So forgiveness doesn't meangetting something from somebody
else to me to on my journey.
Tracey (30:38):
No.
Forgiveness is a gift toyourself.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you guys got?
Oh I had journaling, whichLindsay just brought up
journaling or writing stuffdown, getting, I would not be to
hear if I didn't journal.
Yeah.
Getting your thoughts out onpaper, even some way creatively,
if that helps.
(30:59):
Or even to a therapist orwhatever, however you want to
get something out of your mindand.
Out in the world.
Yeah.
So we don't keep it all lockedup there where we were keeping
it when we were drinking andjust flushing it down.
Lindsey (31:16):
So good.
After on my list, starting a newhobby and practice healthy
living, then I had the celebratemy milestones and track things
and focus on experiences andactivities that support your
healthy lifestyle.
Tracey (31:32):
That's a really good one.
You should celebrate yourself.
Totally.
Absolutely.
Kelly (31:38):
If any of our listeners aren't following Lindsay on
social media, she does a reallygood job She's part of a
community.
It's like a workout gym, right?
Yeah.
I, you guys all work outtogether, but you guys also
celebrate together too and we dothose really fun pictures and
Yeah.
I like how much you guyscelebrate your milestones and
stuff.
Good.
Yeah.
It is awesome.
Lindsey (31:59):
And then I only have one final point on my list.
I had 10 things, but I thoughtthis was important to realize,
don't freak out if you slip up.
I haven't, this December will befour years alcohol free for me.
Sometimes I have dreams aboutdrinking or being drunk, and
(32:23):
sometimes I'm like I've hadthoughts in the past like, Would
I ever drink again?
I don't know.
But I think if you had a slipup, if you've gone any length of
time, even like new 30 days in,and then you had a drink I don't
think that it erases all thework you did.
I think you just have to belike, okay let's recalibrate
(32:45):
here.
What are my priorities?
Why did I decide to ditch it inthe first place?
Because I know for me, it didn'twork in my life at all.
It was very destructive and camewith so many negative
consequences.
And then start over what do youguys think?
What's on your list?
Oh, talk to
Kelly (33:03):
mem.
I was gonna just say what yousaid I love some of our guests
and how many times they tried,yeah.
How many times?
Just keep trying just keeptrying.
Don't quit.
Have as many quitting day.
Yeah.
Don't quit quitting.
Have as many day ones as youneed to have.
You'll get it.
Like you will get it.
Mike, what do you think?
Mike (33:24):
I think having, back to what you said, it's you start
something because you're tiredof the way your life is, or
you've got something need thatneeds to be fixed.
I think there's a lot of good tobe said in the fact that you're
working towards fixingsomething.
And I've always said that Idon't know if, I can never say
(33:44):
never.
I just don't know.
And I know you guys have said,I, Kelly said, I'm never again.
I just don't know.
I'll still say that.
I just don't know if, I couldnever say never.
But I think for damn sure thelast three and a half years it's
been such a.
Rewarding experience for myselfto know that I can do things
that I didn't think I could do.
(34:05):
Yes.
And yes, I did those things formyself, not for anybody else but
myself.
Nobody no one challenged me.
No one bet me
Kelly (34:15):
no anything, no ultimatums.
Mike (34:17):
Yeah.
There was no you're going tojail if you don't do this.
Nothing like that.
It was own your shit.
I had to own my shit and I gottired of, getting myself into
bad situations and amongst otherthings.
And I just, enough, it'sunfortunate that, it got to a
point of a bad scenario of whatI perceive to be a bad scenario
(34:39):
in my mind that I had to stop Ithink it was you, Lindsay said,
pick a date, send it and forgetit.
That might work for some forsure, but, I wish it was that
easy for me where I said, thisis the date I'm doing it and, I
wish I could do that with otherstuff.
How did you do it again?
Remind me.
Cause just you, you weren't apicnic date and said it.
No, I just woke up after beingcrazy drunk and just, that was
(35:03):
it.
I was done.
I physically was done.
I think for me, what, so youfelt it That really pushed me
over the edge was I went on atrip with my buddies to play in
a tournament in Arizona themonth prior.
It was every single day therewas drinking.
It was just constant drinking.
You'd finish game beers and thenwe'd drink all night, get drunk,
(35:23):
wake up at, 7:00 AM and go playin the heat.
And it just was like, I'mphysically worn out, and I told
you guys this, I found a videowhere I videotaped myself
walking home the last night, andI saw that and I thought, what
the fuck, dude?
You don't even remember takingthis video.
Yeah.
And I swear there's cop sirensand there's all this stuff,
(35:45):
there's all this backgroundnoise.
It's like literally a scene outof a movie where a guy's what
the fuck's going on?
Are you gonna change or what?
And I don't know that I saw thatvideo after the trip or what,
but I was emotionally andphysically done.
I just, wow.
Wasn't there yet.
From the end of that trip, ittook maybe six more weeks and
(36:08):
then I was like, okay.
My analogy is 12 round boxingmatch.
You're getting the bejesusbeaten out.
You're like rocky gotten thecrap beating outta you.
Wow.
Yeah.
Just absolutely knocked out.
Here we are.
And I feel, my brain feelsbetter.
Yeah.
I do.
I feel physically better somedays.
(36:29):
But yeah, my brain feels better.
There's, not brain fog.
There's so many pluses.
And Kelly alluded to, you dealwith a lot of suppressed 30 plus
year bullshit that you neverdealt with.
Cause you drank it, you drank,you just pushed it underneath
the carpet and it sucks.
Lindsey (36:49):
Those recordings, like your walking recording where you
didn't even realize that youmaybe took that video, or you
see it the next day and you'relike, oh my God.
I'm like, those are divinethings.
Oh, yes.
I think, yeah, I think you weremeant to see that and maybe
you're not even conscious thatyou're doing it, but I remember
seeing things or picture orvideos that people took of me
(37:09):
and I was like, holy shit.
Kelly (37:12):
Yep.
Totally.
Can I say what my next thing is?
Cuz it's totally like what youjust said.
A huge thing for me is myspiritual practice.
I would not be still alcoholfree without my spiritual
practice.
I know for sure that's somethingthat was lacking in my life, my
whole life.
I'm not talking about religionbut spirituality is a big one
(37:32):
for me.
And that helps obviously with, Imentioned surrender a few times
and that obviously helps withsurrender.
Cuz I believe that there is aplan for me and I am guided
divinely like Lynn said.
Yeah.
Love it.
Tracey (37:46):
I have a couple here that you guys hadn't mentioned
yet.
Ooh.
I had gratitude, oh practicinggratitude.
I think that there's so manythings to be grateful for.
Grateful for the fact thatyou've made this decision in
your life, grateful for thepeople that are supporting it.
(38:07):
Grateful for the fact that youmight not have ended up in the
same rock bottom place thatother people did.
So yeah, I think gratitude isbig.
And my last and final thing wasself-actualization.
And I had self-forgiveness, butI had those as my last two
things because I think those arethe things that are ongoing that
(38:30):
we continue to try to do is togo through the self-forgiveness
process.
For me, it's ongoing.
You forgive yourself for a lotof things I find, and then
something comes up or somethingtriggers you and then you have
to forgive yourself for thattoo.
And then self-actualization,same thing.
That's throughout your wholeentire life.
(38:52):
But that's what I think we allwork towards when you're a
person that's self-aware andwants to improve themselves.
Continuously.
Yeah.
That's really good.
That is so good.
I love that.
I have two more.
Oh, that's hear.
Do you have any more left?
No, that was my list.
Lindsay, you said this one asyour number two, but weed out,
like when you mentioned socialmedia, but weed out what and
(39:14):
who's not in alignment with yourbest.
You.
And I just, oh, I love the wayyou worded that.
I love that.
I really think the energy iseverything.
It's everything who you shareyour energy with, what's in your
space, what your space lookslike, where you live, who you
spend time with, what youconsume, social media, things
like that.
Then my last one I said, thereis no destination.
(39:37):
You are perfect now.
Practice presence, be here now.
And not everything is going tochange at once.
That's good.
Yeah.
So good.
That's really good.
That is so good.
I was gonna say just a littleearlier when Lindsay, when you
were talking about having a slipup and just in general when
we're talking about trying newthings, it's like we just need
(39:59):
the reset button.
It's just a whole reset on life.
And then same thing if you feellike you failed because you had
a slip up.
Just press the reset button.
Yes.
Yeah.
Kelly (40:12):
And it's never too late.
Love that.
Like it's never too late toditch it.
Sometimes it takes people 10, 15tries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't mean you're afailure.
We're human.
Human.
Sorry.
Yeah,
Tracey (40:28):
I think we had a lot of guests that are good examples of
that.
Kelly (40:31):
Yeah.
Mike (40:32):
So what if it's about, you've said slip up, reset,
everybody's alluded to thosethings.
The bigger thing I think is, Ithink you guys would agree, is
that we know what the positivesthat have come out of this
experience to this point in timefor each one of us.
And if someone decided to, Go ayear, two, three, whatever.
(40:54):
Just the realization that howdid your life change?
How did it become better?
And if you decided that you weregoing to drink and I've known
people that went four years andwent back to drinking and they
went back for, six months andthey said, no, that's it.
I shouldn't have done it, butwhatever.
I'm cool.
(41:14):
The awareness factor thateverybody's alluded to, I don't
know about the whole flip theswitch or whatnot.
I think I definitely understandthe meaning behind it.
Just, yeah.
My message was more be cognizantof the things that you've done
in the time that you weren'tconsuming alcohol that are
benefits to your life and, ridewith it cuz you know that you
(41:35):
can do a lot of good.
It's not a negative, I guess iswhat I'm trying to say.
That if you decide that, youwant to go back, I don't know,
slip up.
Lindsey (41:43):
I think if that's the case, that for whoever it
happens to, I think that was theexperience they were supposed to
have because they were supposedto learn something from it.
Mike (41:52):
Yeah, very well.
Could be very well.
Don't dwell on it as a negative,I guess look at it as, yeah,
hey, I have a skillset now whereI have experience in living that
way and I have to assume a lotof the positive aspects of that
experience helped me and not me.
The person in general getsomewhere where they were
(42:13):
struggling to get for sure.
So it's interesting.
That's for sure.
Tracey (42:18):
So before we conclude, has everybody finished their
list?
Yes.
I just wanna give a shout out toour guests this season.
Lindsey (42:28):
Yeah.
Tracey (42:29):
Can you guess, how many guests we had in season two?
There's a trivia question foryou.
Lindsey (42:36):
Oh, geez.
Are we bad podcasters if wedon't get it right?
Mike (42:40):
How many we had?
You said 12.
12.
I was gonna say 10.
How many had or 10?
Many.
Many.
How many have
Tracey (42:46):
you had?
We had in season two.
Mike (42:49):
Oh.
And that's since when to when?
What month?
September.
Eptember to now.
Sorry.
12.
12.
September.
To now.
Oh, I'm gonna go with 14.
Kelly (42:58):
You guys are so close, but nobody's lucky number 13.
Tracey (43:06):
Yeah.
Okay, so starting with ourfriend and fellow podcaster,
Matt Gardner from RecoveryRoadmap.
Oh, good.
And fellow Canadian too, whichis awesome.
Kelly (43:19):
And I was on his podcast.
I was a guest on his podcast.
Oh yeah, that's right.
That's right.
You guys didn't even listen.
Thanks a lot.
No, we will have to listen.
I'm not, I don't think youadvertised
Tracey (43:32):
it enough for yourself there.
Kel,
Kelly (43:38):
did you post that on social media, Kel?
Lindsey (43:41):
I didn't see, I remember seeing it.
Yeah, she did.
Tracey (43:46):
Our next guest was Kelly's friend, Jamie?
Yes.
And what's okay, because I'vebastardized this season with
people's last names.
I should have a whole blooperreel of doing thatwe.
No Swalie.
See.
Look, I can't do it.
Kelly (44:04):
I know, but British Wheel's fun to say weird.
Tracey (44:09):
Yeah.
So Kelly's friend, Jamie, he wasgreat.
And our next guest was MartinLockett.
Kelly (44:17):
Oh.
Tracey (44:19):
That was an extremely intense and impactful episode.
Guys, if you haven't listened tothat episode, after you finish
with this one, go to MartinLockets episode and hit play.
Just do it and
Kelly (44:34):
follow him on social media and see the amazing work
he is doing.
Tracey (44:38):
He's really turned into an inspiration, that's for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steven McDonald, our friendSteven, who wrote his book of
collection of quotes
Lindsey (44:50):
from you guys.
I just got that from him in,from Amazon.
I did.
You just got it a week ago.
Really?
He sent me
Tracey (44:57):
yeah.
And I'd like to mention he wroteanother book of poems that he
sent me as well.
And I do have copies.
I just need to send them to youguys.
I just got it as well.
Kelly (45:08):
And he read us a poem at the end of that episode, so make
sure you listen to that.
Yeah, that poem was awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was great.
And then we had Kim Kearns onthe Edge of Shattered, another
author.
Oh, yes.
That was a good one.
Has anybody read her book yet?
No.
Tracey (45:28):
No.
I know we should because I knowwe all were interested in that
and we,
Kelly (45:33):
her story was very relatable to me.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we had my yogi friend,Deb McNain Oh.
From Shadowlands Yoga.
And she has also doing greatwork Yeah.
Y 12 yoga program that issupporting people that our in
the sober community.
(45:54):
Then we had our friend SonyaKahlon, another Canadian to
start.
Now she's American, but she wasCanadian at heart from ever
bloom.
And she says, oh yes, she'sdoing great work and the
recovery community.
Oh yes.
That was my favorite afterrecording conversation.
(46:14):
Yes.
Oh God, we shoulda keptrecording.
Lindsey (46:17):
Yeah.
We shoulda have kept recording.
Tracey (46:19):
She was a lot of fun.
And then we had.
Sweet, sweet Carter Evans,Kelly's son.
Kelly (46:26):
Oh my God.
One, yeah, I was traveling Ithink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's still living alcohol free.
Lindsey (46:33):
He's awesome.
Tracey (46:34):
That's awesome.
Yeah, he was so sweet.
And then Ben, Tuff Swim tuff.
Ben's documentary has started tobe released in a couple of
different cities in the USThere's been some showings.
It'll be great when we can getit on YouTube or whatever
platform it ends up on.
I'm very excited to watch that.
Kelly (46:55):
Yes.
Tracey (46:56):
And then we had Hayley Schreders
Lindsey (46:59):
Got it right this time you did get it right?
Yes.
You did.
Kelly (47:04):
Living over the influence.
Tracey (47:06):
Another fellow Canadian Haley was awesome too, and she's
doing some great work in therecovery community as well.
And then we had Mr.
Jamie Wild from Feragaia, ourfirst non-alcoholic beverage
company.
I missed yeah, that was prettyamazing what they,
Kelly (47:26):
and he has a crush on Lindsay or Lindsay has a crush
on him.
What was that?
Lindsey (47:29):
I have a crush on him.
I'm just gonna put it out there.
Also, do you know Kelly?
They have his product Feragaiaat supermarket.
Oh, really?
Carry.
Okay.
We'll have to go check it out.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yep.
We'll have to do a shopping.
Day there together.
Yes.
Stock up for our summersupplies.
I love it.
(47:49):
I love that.
That's a good idea.
Girls.
Dry July.
Kelly (47:55):
Yeah.
Tracey (47:55):
Throw together some mocktails for dry Ju July in
support of dry July.
That's a hard one to say.
That's like a freaking, I lovehow you say it.
Yeah.
Like slur in my words here.
Not seeming to dry on that one.
(48:15):
Anyways, and then we had goodold Caroline Barrett, which was
Mike's friend from Sober Me.
She is doing great things withthe recovery community as well.
Yeah.
Lots of recovery coaches, whichis awesome.
Yes.
So much support out there.
I love it.
And then last but not least, ournew friend Deb Masner, and I
(48:36):
think I got that one right thistime too.
From Alcohol Tipping Point andDeb is been posting all over her
social media for us today.
Yeah, she is awesome.
And I loved it.
Cause she's a nurse and shecomes from that health
background, so
Kelly (48:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (48:53):
No, and I love that she is, trying to spread awareness
on the health risks.
And that is her mission and herbig focus.
And I loved her alcoholidays.
Kelly (49:04):
Yeah.
Alcohol day.
I was just trying to rememberwhat she called that.
Yeah.
Tracey (49:07):
Alcohol.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah.
Oh my
Lindsey (49:09):
God.
So great.
And you wanna
Kelly (49:10):
take it so grateful that we've been connected with all
these people.
Holy.
I know.
I never imagined I'd meet thatmany people around the world
and, yeah.
This is amazing.
Lindsey (49:19):
We're interviewing guests, you guys that's awesome.
Tracey (49:24):
And so many people are just so passionate and creative,
in what they're doing.
And like I said, I just can't,it's like an immense amount of
support that you receive fromall these people.
And it's amazing.
Kelly (49:38):
That's another thing we could add to our list that we've
made is being of service, andthat's what we're doing here.
Oh.
And I am finding I'm gaining somuch for my own alcohol free
journey.
Everything that I'm learningfrom you guys and from the
guests is being of service.
And it's keeping me accountabletoo.
A hundred percent.
So true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But all of these guests are ofservice in the community.
(50:00):
I love it.
Lindsey (50:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess that's the end of seasontwo.
We are so grateful to you guysfor tuning in every Tuesday and
listening and we would love foryou to.
Share this episode especially ifyou think it can help somebody
that you know.
So we're gonna take a break forthe summer.
(50:21):
We will be back in the fall withexciting guests and interviews.
If you wanna be featured on ourshow, reach out to us.
We would love to hear from you.
And thank you for the support.
We love you guys.
Until next time, keep laughing.
Bye everybody.
Kelly (50:38):
Bye guys.
Lindsey (50:39):
Mike is word.
Word.
Kelly (50:42):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, Mike Sutton andLindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:25):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:42):
Hey everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF Lifepodcast.
We are so glad that you areback.
If you haven't already, makesure you hit that subscribe
button so that you don't missany new episodes that come out
on Tuesday.
This is our last episode of thisseason, and we have learned so
(01:04):
much this season from all ourguests and just the
conversations that we have thatare unanswered every week.
We were saying before we hitrecord.
This is like a little meetingfor us, we have officially hit
50 episodes.
Wow.
And I'm so proud of us, youguys.
Yay.
Yay, yay.
(01:26):
Reflecting back on our guestsand the conversations that we've
had with them, along with someof our own.
Experiences we were chattingabout some of the things that we
would recommend to friends oreven our listeners if they came
to us and said, I wanna ditchbooze, but I'm not really sure
(01:48):
where to start.
And we even coined it, the LAFLife, 12.
So today we're gonna talk aboutsome of the things that you can
do or follow or start to beginliving an alcohol-free life.
So let's get into it.
Okay.
So I don't know about you guys,but when I was thinking about
(02:09):
this, for me, the number onething is recognizing the need.
Coming to a point in your lifeor in your experience with
alcohol where you're like, man,shit just needs to change.
I can't keep doing this.
And I know when I was drinkingtowards the end, I would drink
(02:30):
every weekend regardless of thenegative things that happened or
any negative consequences thathappened.
I would always say to myself,I'm never drinking again.
And then guess where I woulddrive to every Friday?
The liquor store.
Yeah.
What do you guys think?
What would be your number onething?
Kelly (02:48):
My number one on my list is similar to yours, I think.
I wrote Surrender.
Oh.
So surrender to the fact Icouldn't do this anymore.
Yeah.
And part of that for me wasasking for help.
Lindsey (03:02):
Oh, that's hard.
Asking for help.
Oh, yeah.
That officially means thatthere's an issue.
When you reach out and asksomebody for help, that's okay,
this is beyond my control.
I can't do this anymore, and Ineed something outside myself to
help me here.
What do you think, Mike?
(03:23):
What do you think?
Mike (03:24):
Yeah I would agree with what you said, for sure.
Yeah.
I think the number one thing forme would be to listen to your
inner voice.
Listen to the voice I was gonnasay, was it hearing the little
voice for you that was like, itjust talks.
It's annoying.
It's trying to tell yousomething.
Yeah.
And I think it's goes withanything in life.
If you were trying to exercise,if you're trying to, budget,
(03:46):
you're trying to do whatever itis, the voice is always there
and nagging at you because it'sthat thing that's your focus.
And I think we get to a pointthat it starts to become our
focus of, is this a problem?
Why do I want to like all thesethings, go through your head.
At least for me went through myhead and I finally just, like we
talked about, you try maybe aweek, you try for two weeks.
(04:09):
Or some people just say, screwit, I'm done.
Everybody's got their ownplaybook.
Yeah, that was for sure thenumber one, two, and three thing
for me.
Love that.
I love that.
Three strikes and you're out.
Lindsey (04:19):
That's the thing, I recognized the need for a while,
but I didn't act on it.
There was a long period of timeTrace.
I don't know.
What about you?
Tracey (04:28):
Yeah, I think mine aligns with all of yours.
I had self-awareness oh.
Becoming aware that you have aproblem, aware that you need to
change surrendering to thatawareness.
Listening to that inner voice,so I think that's all connected.
It starts with that, whatever itis for you.
Kelly (04:47):
Yeah.
Tracey (04:47):
That brings recognition like you said, I like the
recognition of the need.
And I assume you're alluding tothe need to change Linds.
Lindsey (04:58):
You got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I sat with it for a whilebecause it's not like you
recognize the need and then bangthe next day.
You're like, that's it.
I'm quitting drinking.
And that might be for somepeople, there are some people
who do that.
But for me, it's like I knew, Irecognized, I sat on it for a
bit.
I knew I needed to make achange, but I would still go
(05:19):
back to drinking.
Despite all the negativity andthe hangovers and the arguments
and the hearing about the stuffI said and did I don't know, I,
for me to actually make thechange I had to sit with that
for a bit and that's just how itwent for me.
Kelly (05:36):
Yeah.
I think for a lot of people it'sa long time.
That makes me think of ourguest, Caroline, this season and
how.
She was so young and she hadthat recognition and that
self-awareness of, right?
Needing to change.
And she got, she drank for along time.
She was in her early twenties, Ithink she told us, yeah.
When she first recognized thefact that one day she was gonna
need to quit because she alreadyhad a problem.
(05:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
The second thing for me wasafter recognizing the need to
make a change, going throughyour social media and you don't
have to necessarily delete butbe mindful of what you're
consuming.
So if you've got a bunch offriends that love drinking and
are posting about it, if you'retrying to make a change in your
(06:21):
life, maybe hit that unfollowbutton.
Even celebrity accounts, ifyou're consuming, all these
party images and people who areposting their drinks and it, I
think just go through socialmedia and recognize the life
that you want to start to createand if there are things that are
(06:44):
contradictory to that, unfollowthat's good.
Yeah.
I had self-regulate Linds, whichI think, Ooh, ooh, what does
that mean?
Self-regulate.
To me it almost ties in withthat because mindful of
consumption would be likeself-regulation.
But I was more along the linesthinking of you start to begin
the process of you need toself-regulate your consumption
(07:08):
of alcohol, self-regulating inyour daily routine, and putting
those kind of guidelines inplace for yourself to set
yourself up for success so thatyou can cut it out or cut down
or whatever your goal is.
That's what I thought asself-regulation.
That's good.
My number two, which was hardfor me, was to forgive myself.
(07:31):
Oh yeah.
The fact that I had to give upthis part of my life and the
fact that I got to the pointwhere I needed to quit.
Tracey (07:38):
Yeah.
I have that Kel but mine's waydown on the list.
Cause to me, yes.
Forgiveness comes way later andit's an ongoing process.
Lindsey (07:49):
I was gonna say yes, Tracey.
It's not something that youprobably just say, okay, I
forgive myself.
No, you're probably working.
I feel like I can combine mynumber two and number three now
that I look at them like,forgive myself and then accept
where I'm at.
Acceptance.
Yeah.
But I love that kinda similarand the same step.
(08:10):
I love that.
That's funny that I didn't evenhave that on my list, but I
think too, when you're talkingabout forgiving yourself and
acceptance, we had just talkedabout on one of our previous
podcasts, the recognition thatthe person, you aren't the
problem.
It's that substance.
That's the problem, right?
(08:31):
I know that you know youractions and words and things you
control that, but I thinkfeeling shame around how you
behaved when you consumed asubstance that's addictive,
right?
And totally messes with yourbrain and body.
I think you gotta forgiveyourself.
You gotta cut yourself someslack, yeah.
You gotta get out of the shamecycle for sure.
(08:52):
Yes.
Tracey (08:52):
Yeah, part of that does happen naturally when you give
up alcohol.
You start to slowly pullyourself out of it, because I
think with every day you're notdrinking and you're keeping that
promise to yourself, the shamediminishes.
Lindsey (09:07):
That is so true.
And I think too, theself-acceptance and then the
recognition that there's a needto change.
When you bring something tolight, you take away the power.
When it's a secret, it has sucha hold over you.
You work so hard to hide it andit's exhausting, another thing I
have on my list here is knowwhat your triggers are.
And have a plan, right?
(09:27):
If there's a particularenvironment that's causes you
stress or environmental cuesthat cause you to wanna drink or
different relationships, likeyou're going to your mom's house
and you're like fuck, every timeI go there, all I wanna do is
drink wine.
Or I can't stand her.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Mike's just laughing.
(09:48):
Mike, talk to me.
What do you think about that?
Mike (09:50):
No, no, they're all good points.
They're all good points.
I think what women do betterthan men, and I'm of course
speaking of myself is you'vereally dialed it in and taken
the time to think about it.
I think about these things.
I'm a, yeah, really bad atwriting things down.
I can attest that in all areasof my life, it's my number one
thing I need to do better.
(10:11):
But I think when presented witha question I can certainly talk
about it.
And the one thing that comes tomind too is it hints on a few
things, but own your shit, man.
Yes, forgive yourself.
Yes, be cognizant of yourtriggers, but own your shit.
Because I think as humans, wemake excuses for ourselves to
make ourselves feel better, butthere's nothing wrong with
(10:33):
owning your shit and acceptingthat, I'm gonna be a better
person now cuz I'm owning mystuff.
I'm owning it.
I have to own it.
Yeah.
All those things you regretdoing and saying when you're
drunk, you own it.
I, many a times stuck my foot inmy mouth.
Probably still stick my foot inmy mouth sometimes when I'm
sober, but at least, if owningyour shit is part of healing in
(10:54):
some regards.
That for sure would be up therefor me.
Kelly (10:57):
Trace, what's your number three?
Tracey (10:59):
Self discovery.
In many different ways.
I think rediscovering yourselfis part of that.
Discovering new things, newthings and new ways to
experience life.
So yeah, I think self discoveryis something you start early in
the process and that's why I hadit as number three because right
(11:21):
off the hop for me, I waslooking for alternatives to my
everyday glass of wine.
Healthy alternatives.
What could I turn that into thatwould be beneficial to me
opposed to something that washarming me or not making me feel
good?
Mike (11:39):
New habits, new routines.
Walking and.
Tracey (11:41):
Yes.
Yeah.
Lindsey (11:43):
And I have start listening to podcasts about
living alcohol free or about theeffects of alcohol.
Get a book, educate yourself.
Educate yourself, and startfilling your feeds with,
educational things about theeffects of alcohol or people who
are sober.
(12:04):
Start surrounding yourself onsocial media space, virtually
with stuff like that.
Read a book, if anybody has orwants recommendations, there are
lots.
You can find them online.
You can reach out to one of us.
But yeah,
Kelly (12:18):
that was a big thing for me too.
With the podcast, I think Ijust, early on, right?
Or very early, yes.
On actually that's what led meto quit.
I've started listening to thembefore I quit.
But Yeah, that also gave me thatsense of not feeling so alone.
I would just listen to this onepodcast where all it was an hour
of one person's story, what wedo with our guest episodes.
But they literally just readtheir story for an hour and it
(12:42):
made me feel way less alone cuzI could see myself in some way
and all of them.
So that really helped me a lotbecause I also couldn't be with
my thoughts at that point.
I could not.
And that's ok.
Yeah, that's ok.
Yeah,
Tracey (12:57):
I was like that too.
Kel.
I started listening to podcastsand Yeah.
I was in a Facebook group.
That was another thing I didtoo.
Through the group just saw otherpeople Trying to live alcohol
free as well.
Getting to their two days, fivedays, one year and yeah.
Encouraging.
And that was, yeah, that wasvery motivational.
(13:17):
But along those same lines, Ijust had it further down my
list.
I had connection community,finding your tribe.
Similar to what you're saying,Lynn's, surrounding yourself
with the right people and theright support as well.
Yeah.
This community is amazing aswe've spoken to so many times on
this podcast.
(13:38):
But really in doing this podcastthat exposed me to what an
amazing community it is.
I didn't even realize howsupportive and abundant it was
until we started doing this.
And we've had so many peoplereach out and we've connected
with so many wonderful peopleand it's been awesome.
Kelly (13:58):
Yeah.
I put I don't know.
What number are you keep keepingtrack of our numbers.
I'm not even, I think we're likefour, four or five.
I think we're on four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Around there.
I had to commit to the work,like really commit to the work
around building a whole newlife, really.
And then digging into why Idrank like that, but committing
(14:21):
like it's work.
It's takes a lot and it's hard,but I think it takes a big
commitment.
Mike (14:27):
Self discovery, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Lindsey (14:30):
I have on my list number five, time to ditch it,
set a date and stick to it.
It's okay, this is the date.
Mark it down in your calendar.
And that's it.
Set it and forget it we'reditching it today and then pour
it all down the drain.
Pour it all down the drain.
(14:50):
I actually did that.
I had some booze in my house andI was like, Kate, nope.
It's all going down the drain.
And then track your milestones.
Yes.
You made it 24 hours.
Fucking mark that shit with agold star and get some stickers
and some colored markers andmake mark it down in your
calendar.
I did, I forgot about that.
I printed off calendars, like amonthly view calendar, and I had
(15:11):
them in my bedroom and every dayI put like an X on the day that
I didn't drink.
I love it.
And then I'd print up the nextmonth and stick it on there.
I probably did it for say five,six months.
Yeah.
I needed that.
So helpful.
I love the visual of that.
Tracey (15:25):
That's part of Kelly's commitment too.
And it's accountability.
Holding yourself accountable.
And going back to keeping yourpromise to yourself.
I had self care, self-love.
We've touched on that many atimes on the podcast and the
importance of that you reallyneed to focus on that,
especially in the early stages
Lindsey (15:46):
So true.
Yeah.
A lot of people lump in winewith self-care, Chloe danger,
Mike's laughing.
Oh,
Mike (15:54):
mommy.
Wine culture.
That's what, yep.
Yeah.
I think early on, I remember Ithink I said this to Tracey a
few times, but what shocked meabout, one of the reasons why I
got off Facebook was Just theglorification.
We've talked about thisthousands of times and these
Hey, it's 11:00 AM it's oneo'clock.
My biggest I don't even knowwhat you call this, but it's
(16:16):
it's okay for women, and it wasmostly women saying, Hey, it's
11:00 AM and it's, but yet ifsome dude puts something on,
it's 12 o'clock somewhere, thefirst person to hate on the man
is a woman.
And it's oh it's ridiculous.
Wow.
Now here I am defending thewhole, it's 12, 12 o'clock
(16:36):
somewhere, but my point I'mtrying to make is that, It's
bullshit from either sides, andit seemed to me, maybe it's
because I'm a man, I don't knowthat it was more accepting of a
woman to post something with abig wine glass I would agree.
Ridiculously sized wine glass.
You could fit a family inside ofit and make a joke out of it.
But,
Lindsey (16:56):
have you seen my old Instagram post?
I know.
I was just gonna say that wasme.
That was me.
Oh,
Tracey (17:02):
Mike.
Yeah.
I think we're all guilty ofthat.
Yep.
Mike (17:07):
But I think we do it to feel like part of a group, part
of included we're talking aboutright now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a culture out there thatTracey just hit on it's society
or it's a group, whatever youwant to call it, of people who
are the opposite ends of thespectrum of these other groups
that people are, talking aboutall the time.
(17:27):
It's.
This is why you gotta clean upyour social media.
You don't necessarily have todelete things or people just
unfollow them so that it's notappearing in your feed.
Do you know what I mean?
So when you're, if you'rescrolling or don't go on social
media
Kelly (17:39):
or don't go on social media.
Yeah.
But I'm like, one thing at atime.
If we're gonna try and quitbooze, let's not try and quit
social media at the same time.
But you're right.
Sorry Lynn, go ahead.
No.
Yeah, I just wanted to say that.
No, I was just gonna say, Ialways think about what was life
like before cell phones?
What was life like before theinternet?
Before, yeah.
(17:59):
Facebook, we all lived, we'realive when these things were
happening.
So there's something, I don'tknow what it is, but I wonder if
there was a way to do parents,the socialized, it was always
drinking, at least as far as,yeah.
I remember my mom taking mysister and I to a friend's
house, and for sure she'd have aglass of wine.
(18:20):
It wasn't like she was gettingbombed, but it was just socially
acceptable.
And I think now it's not, butmaybe it's more, I don't know.
I don't know.
I think that, I was thinking, asyou guys were talking earlier, I
think a certain personality cando certain things that another
can't, like introvert versusextrovert passive versus
aggressive.
(18:40):
Some are good at some things andsome aren't, and maybe that has
a factor in how someone goesabout quitting.
Like you guys alluded to, Kellysaid, gold stars or, markers
visualized being visual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I would never even think todo that, but it makes a lot of
sense.
Goals, I think if you're nottaught that in other areas of
(19:00):
your life, then yeah, maybe it'stime to explore it.
For sure.
That was already part of mylife.
Yeah, that makes sense.
That I did it right.
Lindsey (19:07):
Interesting.
Yeah.
It wasn't for me.
I'm stubborn, I just was like,no, I'm not doing this anymore.
Willpower, is when you wannacall it, it's funny because
people have said recently, ohhey, you don't drink.
How long has it been, you say, Idon't know.
Three years.
Three and a half years.
It's not even a number anymore.
Oh, good for you.
Oh, that's great.
(19:27):
Good for you.
And it's thanks.
Yeah.
I don't dunno what to say.
Yeah.
Thanks.
That's all you have to say.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's weird.
Thanks for what I know.
Thanks for being a rebel in thissociety.
That's so completely boo soaked,but is it them saying, Good for
you.
Because they're trying tosubliminally say they wish they
could do it,
Kelly (19:48):
or they probably think they could never do it.
I don't know about wishing theycould do it, but they probably
think they wouldn't do it.
It's interesting.
Ooh,
Lindsey (19:57):
interesting.
I think, yeah.
I'm trying to think back too,when somebody would tell me that
they were alcohol free for somany months or years, I would be
like, good for you.
That's awesome.
But I would say that from aplace of, I don't think I could
ever do that.
Oh, too, I was like,fascinating.
I'm like, what?
How.
Mike (20:13):
Yeah.
No, I probably would say you'rewasting your time.
good luck with that.
Kelly (20:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get outta here.
Yeah.
Get outta here.
Okay.
Where are we?
What's next?
Lens?
Lindsey (20:25):
Oh, geez.
I am number six on my list wasfind.
Wait, you wait.
Oh, no.
Number five.
I didn't share number.
Okay.
What was your
Kelly (20:32):
share your Similar to what's already come up, but find
replacements.
Be open to trying new thingsbecause if you've just been
drinking, like I was, drinkingwas my hobby.
That was my hobby.
Me too.
So I didn't know what kind ofhobbies.
And I've talked to other peoplewith similar, experiences.
So like I don't even know how tofill my time now.
Cuz you do end up having a lotof time when you're not Yeah.
(20:52):
Drinking and chasing hangovers.
So for my top three replacementsfor wine moving my body,
spending time in nature and whatI put in my body, like food
wise.
I love that.
That's what I have on my list.
That's next.
Find new beverages.
Find new things that you like todrink, enjoy.
(21:12):
So kombucha.
Some people are like, hatekombucha.
Great.
Then don't drink it.
There's a lot of alcohol free.
Beverages that are delicious.
I've got this Cavita sparklingfermented drink It's like a
lemon cayenne thing.
And I get it at Superstore inthe green aisle and it's one of
my favorite things.
Take a trip to the health foodstore.
(21:33):
The health food aisle, or in,you live in Winnipeg?
The sober markets.
Sober markets, yeah.
All those places.
St.
Leon Lens.
I know you love.
Yes, I They've got tons there.
Yes, they have tons of boostfree choices this year.
Tracey (21:46):
I'm only on number five too.
And number five for me was self.
That's okay.
Got number five for me was whatwas self preservation setting
boundaries, which, oh gosh.
We had a whole episode onboundaries.
Such a good episode.
Lindsey (22:02):
Yeah.
Would you set boundaries?
With other people, setboundaries with people, set
boundaries with yourself.
Set boundaries for things thattrigger you, right?
Your environment.
So yeah.
Whether that be social media,whether that be social events,
whatever it is.
So it's okay to say no and notparticipate and remove yourself
(22:24):
even if in the middle ofsomething too.
If you're not feeling good aboutit, it's okay to be like, okay,
I gotta go now.
Yes.
See you later.
And you don't have to explaineither.
No.
Tracey (22:33):
Yeah.
Like I said, I think it's aboutself preservation in that period
of your life when you're tryingto accomplish and do something
better for yourself.
Lindsey (22:43):
Yeah.
And be kind and gentle withyourself too, right?
Tracey (22:47):
Yeah.
And then my number six wasconnection and community, which
we already touched on.
That was seven.
Number seven for me is findsupport groups that are
supportive of your new healthylife that you're trying to
create for yourself, because youare the average of the five
people that you hang around withthe most, right?
(23:08):
So it's about either connectingwith new environments and people
weed'em out.
We weed'em out, right?
If you've decided to uplevelyourself you've made it clear
what you're doing with yourlife, a vision you have for
yourself.
The substance no longer fits.
(23:29):
And you invite them up to joinyou and they say, no, we're
gonna stay down here.
That's okay.
I'm not coming back down.
I'm gonna stay up here.
Kelly (23:37):
And that can be really challenging.
It was for me.
I'm not sure if I ever sharedthis on the podcast before, but
I remember I was having sometrouble in some of my
relationships when I first quit.
Friendships, marriage, all ofthose things.
And I remember my therapistsaying to me just remember
Kelly, you are the one whochanged.
And I think that's reallyimportant.
(23:57):
We can't expect other people tocome along with us.
Or even like that we've changed.
And that's okay.
That's okay.
That's the point.
Yeah.
That's okay.
That's true.
I think it's important thoughand we've touched on this you
need, some sort of level ofsupport from people that are in
(24:18):
the same place as you.
Other alcohol free people.
Yes.
Like we have connected with oneanother, but that doesn't
necessarily mean, as we'vealluded to, that you need to do
the 12 step program.
Find what works for you, findthe support group, whether it be
the three people that we haveright here, or one person even.
(24:42):
That works for you.
Yes.
My number seven was mindfulnessand meditation.
Oh, that's good.
I can't believe I don't evenhave that on my list, but that's
so good.
I know Mike would agree withthat one because he is touched
on it many times and he utilizesthat one for himself.
Mike (25:03):
Not lately, but maybe you need to get back on it.
That's a daily, multiple timesdaily practice for me at this
point.
But yeah, if I'm not carving outa little bit of time to meditate
a few times a day it's gonna bea pretty chaotic day in my
brain.
Lindsey (25:18):
I have that on my list.
Start a new hobby and practicehealthy living.
Walking, joining a new gym,swimming, I don't know whatever
it is.
Golf.
Golf.
Yep.
Knitting, crochet, somethingyeah.
I don't know.
Start something new.
Oh, yeah.
I, you don't wanna listen, I amterrible at golf.
(25:41):
That would probably, yeah.
And find some golfers that don'tdrink because that is a big
place for drinking.
That's, you're not the rightpeople challenge.
Yeah.
But there are people that don'tdrink that do golf.
There are people.
Mike (25:55):
Yeah.
Yes.
Usually my experience with golfis you want to golf with the
people who drink the morningafter, after they've gotten
drunk.
Kelly (26:02):
Cause then your game is gonna be way better than yours.
Mike (26:06):
They're hungover then.
Yeah.
It's good.
Nice.
It's good.
But no, that's yeah that'schallenge.
Challenge for me, golfing withmost people I golf would drink,
but for the most part.
They're not pushing it on you oranything like that.
That's good.
Yeah.
Some people just golf to dodrinking.
Oh, yeah.
They golf just to drink.
Lindsey (26:28):
I used to go just to drive the cart to drink.
You drink beer?
Kelly (26:32):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
If I think of any golfing thatI've done in the past, there was
a lot of alcohol consumption.
There's guy drunken cart drivingfor sure.
Oh, for sure.
There's the guys that will buythe first drink and then have 20
drinks in their bag, just it's,comic.
Yeah.
Not just guys, Mike.
Not just guys.
Mike (26:51):
Yeah, fair enough.
Fair enough.
Lindsey (26:54):
I would have on my wine bra.
No, I'm just kidding.
Have you seen that?
Geez.
Yeah.
There.
Kelly (27:08):
Okay.
When I made this part I musthave been thinking about going
through the healing processbecause for me, a lot of my
drinking has to do withunresolved childhood stuff and
stuff like that.
Yeah.
So I wrote surrender to whatcomes up when it comes up.
Like I really believe that wedon't get these things that come
(27:29):
up to deal with until we'reready.
So surrender to it and be like,okay, time to deal with this
thing.
And then
Lindsey (27:35):
was I'm no.
It out.
Yeah.
Kelly (27:39):
Something that I work on daily is dropping the
self-judgment and any timeexpectations.
So sometimes I'll, do all thiswork around healing and then it
takes me so long sometimes, or Ithink it's done and then it
comes back so I can be reallyhard on myself with things like
that.
So just dropping theself-judgment and not having any
(28:00):
expectations as to how long thisthing is going to take to heal.
Just I love that I said like Ihave on this list too, but what
goes along with this?
Oh, you think that what you guyssaid was the self-love and the
self-care, it's gotta be part ofthat and be, what did you say
there, Lynn?
Be kind and gentle withyourself.
I think that's all part Patient.
And patient, my gosh.
(28:21):
Yeah.
Patients tattooed on myforehead.
I said, why do you think itcomes back?
Because I'm not done with it.
Or it's not done with you orit's not done with me.
There's still something for meto learn
Lindsey (28:29):
but you spent so many years drinking, for me, you
spent so many years, we'retalking, we crazy.
I drank for 30 years.
That's fucking crazy.
Think about that.
Abusively.
Think about that.
You're gonna be just magicallyhealed in 30 days.
This is a lifelong process of,being alcohol free.
(28:50):
Oh shit.
Why am I crying so much?
I don't know.
Let's maybe start journaling.
Oh, why does this trigger me?
I don't know.
Okay.
Write it down.
Why does this trigger me again,it's the same thing.
I don't get it.
Let's think about this.
Let's listen to some podcastsabout trauma and relationships.
Oh, okay it's not gonna be anice package of this is how
you're going to heal and getmessy, sober.
(29:11):
And it's a
Kelly (29:12):
freaking, it's messy
Lindsey (29:14):
mess, and you continue to do the work.
Sometimes there are days I justunexplainably unexplained,
what's the word?
I can't even say it withoutexplanation.
I'm just bawling my eyes out,yeah.
I, and then I'm like, what isthat all about?
I don't flow, let those tears.
But yeah.
Like I just feel better after,or, yeah.
(29:35):
You're not drowning yourself inalcohol anymore and Oh, that's
right.
Kelly (29:39):
Brain was always there.
I just drank so I didn't have todeal with it and cry and feel
angry for 30 years.
With that, sorry, I'm just gonnago with these here.
Just go for it.
Yeah, that's okay.
Because it kinda all goestogether.
With that acceptance of yourpast, accepting every single
thing.
Lindsey (29:57):
Mistakes you made, everything shit.
You said shit.
You said shit that happened toyou, shit that other people did
to you.
How long you stayed inrelationships that you shouldn't
have stayed in acceptingeverything.
Thanks.
And then what also goes alongwith that is forgiving others.
(30:18):
So forgiving other people thatmaybe played a part in some of
those things.
Do you have to physicallycontact them and be like, oh,
very good question,
Kelly (30:26):
Lindsay.
I wrote in brackets, like Isaid, often without getting an
apology.
So forgiveness doesn't meangetting something from somebody
else to me to on my journey.
Tracey (30:38):
No.
Forgiveness is a gift toyourself.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you guys got?
Oh I had journaling, whichLindsay just brought up
journaling or writing stuffdown, getting, I would not be to
hear if I didn't journal.
Yeah.
Getting your thoughts out onpaper, even some way creatively,
if that helps.
(30:59):
Or even to a therapist orwhatever, however you want to
get something out of your mindand.
Out in the world.
Yeah.
So we don't keep it all lockedup there where we were keeping
it when we were drinking andjust flushing it down.
Lindsey (31:16):
So good.
After on my list, starting a newhobby and practice healthy
living, then I had the celebratemy milestones and track things
and focus on experiences andactivities that support your
healthy lifestyle.
Tracey (31:32):
That's a really good one.
You should celebrate yourself.
Totally.
Absolutely.
Kelly (31:38):
If any of our listeners aren't following Lindsay on
social media, she does a reallygood job She's part of a
community.
It's like a workout gym, right?
Yeah.
I, you guys all work outtogether, but you guys also
celebrate together too and we dothose really fun pictures and
Yeah.
I like how much you guyscelebrate your milestones and
stuff.
Good.
Yeah.
It is awesome.
Lindsey (31:59):
And then I only have one final point on my list.
I had 10 things, but I thoughtthis was important to realize,
don't freak out if you slip up.
I haven't, this December will befour years alcohol free for me.
Sometimes I have dreams aboutdrinking or being drunk, and
(32:23):
sometimes I'm like I've hadthoughts in the past like, Would
I ever drink again?
I don't know.
But I think if you had a slipup, if you've gone any length of
time, even like new 30 days in,and then you had a drink I don't
think that it erases all thework you did.
I think you just have to belike, okay let's recalibrate
(32:45):
here.
What are my priorities?
Why did I decide to ditch it inthe first place?
Because I know for me, it didn'twork in my life at all.
It was very destructive and camewith so many negative
consequences.
And then start over what do youguys think?
What's on your list?
Oh, talk to
Kelly (33:03):
mem.
I was gonna just say what yousaid I love some of our guests
and how many times they tried,yeah.
How many times?
Just keep trying just keeptrying.
Don't quit.
Have as many quitting day.
Yeah.
Don't quit quitting.
Have as many day ones as youneed to have.
You'll get it.
Like you will get it.
Mike, what do you think?
Mike (33:24):
I think having, back to what you said, it's you start
something because you're tiredof the way your life is, or
you've got something need thatneeds to be fixed.
I think there's a lot of good tobe said in the fact that you're
working towards fixingsomething.
And I've always said that Idon't know if, I can never say
(33:44):
never.
I just don't know.
And I know you guys have said,I, Kelly said, I'm never again.
I just don't know.
I'll still say that.
I just don't know if, I couldnever say never.
But I think for damn sure thelast three and a half years it's
been such a.
Rewarding experience for myselfto know that I can do things
that I didn't think I could do.
(34:05):
Yes.
And yes, I did those things formyself, not for anybody else but
myself.
Nobody no one challenged me.
No one bet me
Kelly (34:15):
no anything, no ultimatums.
Mike (34:17):
Yeah.
There was no you're going tojail if you don't do this.
Nothing like that.
It was own your shit.
I had to own my shit and I gottired of, getting myself into
bad situations and amongst otherthings.
And I just, enough, it'sunfortunate that, it got to a
point of a bad scenario of whatI perceive to be a bad scenario
(34:39):
in my mind that I had to stop Ithink it was you, Lindsay said,
pick a date, send it and forgetit.
That might work for some forsure, but, I wish it was that
easy for me where I said, thisis the date I'm doing it and, I
wish I could do that with otherstuff.
How did you do it again?
Remind me.
Cause just you, you weren't apicnic date and said it.
No, I just woke up after beingcrazy drunk and just, that was
(35:03):
it.
I was done.
I physically was done.
I think for me, what, so youfelt it That really pushed me
over the edge was I went on atrip with my buddies to play in
a tournament in Arizona themonth prior.
It was every single day therewas drinking.
It was just constant drinking.
You'd finish game beers and thenwe'd drink all night, get drunk,
(35:23):
wake up at, 7:00 AM and go playin the heat.
And it just was like, I'mphysically worn out, and I told
you guys this, I found a videowhere I videotaped myself
walking home the last night, andI saw that and I thought, what
the fuck, dude?
You don't even remember takingthis video.
Yeah.
And I swear there's cop sirensand there's all this stuff,
(35:45):
there's all this backgroundnoise.
It's like literally a scene outof a movie where a guy's what
the fuck's going on?
Are you gonna change or what?
And I don't know that I saw thatvideo after the trip or what,
but I was emotionally andphysically done.
I just, wow.
Wasn't there yet.
From the end of that trip, ittook maybe six more weeks and
(36:08):
then I was like, okay.
My analogy is 12 round boxingmatch.
You're getting the bejesusbeaten out.
You're like rocky gotten thecrap beating outta you.
Wow.
Yeah.
Just absolutely knocked out.
Here we are.
And I feel, my brain feelsbetter.
Yeah.
I do.
I feel physically better somedays.
(36:29):
But yeah, my brain feels better.
There's, not brain fog.
There's so many pluses.
And Kelly alluded to, you dealwith a lot of suppressed 30 plus
year bullshit that you neverdealt with.
Cause you drank it, you drank,you just pushed it underneath
the carpet and it sucks.
Lindsey (36:49):
Those recordings, like your walking recording where you
didn't even realize that youmaybe took that video, or you
see it the next day and you'relike, oh my God.
I'm like, those are divinethings.
Oh, yes.
I think, yeah, I think you weremeant to see that and maybe
you're not even conscious thatyou're doing it, but I remember
seeing things or picture orvideos that people took of me
(37:09):
and I was like, holy shit.
Kelly (37:12):
Yep.
Totally.
Can I say what my next thing is?
Cuz it's totally like what youjust said.
A huge thing for me is myspiritual practice.
I would not be still alcoholfree without my spiritual
practice.
I know for sure that's somethingthat was lacking in my life, my
whole life.
I'm not talking about religionbut spirituality is a big one
(37:32):
for me.
And that helps obviously with, Imentioned surrender a few times
and that obviously helps withsurrender.
Cuz I believe that there is aplan for me and I am guided
divinely like Lynn said.
Yeah.
Love it.
Tracey (37:46):
I have a couple here that you guys hadn't mentioned
yet.
Ooh.
I had gratitude, oh practicinggratitude.
I think that there's so manythings to be grateful for.
Grateful for the fact thatyou've made this decision in
your life, grateful for thepeople that are supporting it.
(38:07):
Grateful for the fact that youmight not have ended up in the
same rock bottom place thatother people did.
So yeah, I think gratitude isbig.
And my last and final thing wasself-actualization.
And I had self-forgiveness, butI had those as my last two
things because I think those arethe things that are ongoing that
(38:30):
we continue to try to do is togo through the self-forgiveness
process.
For me, it's ongoing.
You forgive yourself for a lotof things I find, and then
something comes up or somethingtriggers you and then you have
to forgive yourself for thattoo.
And then self-actualization,same thing.
That's throughout your wholeentire life.
(38:52):
But that's what I think we allwork towards when you're a
person that's self-aware andwants to improve themselves.
Continuously.
Yeah.
That's really good.
That is so good.
I love that.
I have two more.
Oh, that's hear.
Do you have any more left?
No, that was my list.
Lindsay, you said this one asyour number two, but weed out,
like when you mentioned socialmedia, but weed out what and
(39:14):
who's not in alignment with yourbest.
You.
And I just, oh, I love the wayyou worded that.
I love that.
I really think the energy iseverything.
It's everything who you shareyour energy with, what's in your
space, what your space lookslike, where you live, who you
spend time with, what youconsume, social media, things
like that.
Then my last one I said, thereis no destination.
(39:37):
You are perfect now.
Practice presence, be here now.
And not everything is going tochange at once.
That's good.
Yeah.
So good.
That's really good.
That is so good.
I was gonna say just a littleearlier when Lindsay, when you
were talking about having a slipup and just in general when
we're talking about trying newthings, it's like we just need
(39:59):
the reset button.
It's just a whole reset on life.
And then same thing if you feellike you failed because you had
a slip up.
Just press the reset button.
Yes.
Yeah.
Kelly (40:12):
And it's never too late.
Love that.
Like it's never too late toditch it.
Sometimes it takes people 10, 15tries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't mean you're afailure.
We're human.
Human.
Sorry.
Yeah,
Tracey (40:28):
I think we had a lot of guests that are good examples of
that.
Kelly (40:31):
Yeah.
Mike (40:32):
So what if it's about, you've said slip up, reset,
everybody's alluded to thosethings.
The bigger thing I think is, Ithink you guys would agree, is
that we know what the positivesthat have come out of this
experience to this point in timefor each one of us.
And if someone decided to, Go ayear, two, three, whatever.
(40:54):
Just the realization that howdid your life change?
How did it become better?
And if you decided that you weregoing to drink and I've known
people that went four years andwent back to drinking and they
went back for, six months andthey said, no, that's it.
I shouldn't have done it, butwhatever.
I'm cool.
(41:14):
The awareness factor thateverybody's alluded to, I don't
know about the whole flip theswitch or whatnot.
I think I definitely understandthe meaning behind it.
Just, yeah.
My message was more be cognizantof the things that you've done
in the time that you weren'tconsuming alcohol that are
benefits to your life and, ridewith it cuz you know that you
(41:35):
can do a lot of good.
It's not a negative, I guess iswhat I'm trying to say.
That if you decide that, youwant to go back, I don't know,
slip up.
Lindsey (41:43):
I think if that's the case, that for whoever it
happens to, I think that was theexperience they were supposed to
have because they were supposedto learn something from it.
Mike (41:52):
Yeah, very well.
Could be very well.
Don't dwell on it as a negative,I guess look at it as, yeah,
hey, I have a skillset now whereI have experience in living that
way and I have to assume a lotof the positive aspects of that
experience helped me and not me.
The person in general getsomewhere where they were
(42:13):
struggling to get for sure.
So it's interesting.
That's for sure.
Tracey (42:18):
So before we conclude, has everybody finished their
list?
Yes.
I just wanna give a shout out toour guests this season.
Lindsey (42:28):
Yeah.
Tracey (42:29):
Can you guess, how many guests we had in season two?
There's a trivia question foryou.
Lindsey (42:36):
Oh, geez.
Are we bad podcasters if wedon't get it right?
Mike (42:40):
How many we had?
You said 12.
12.
I was gonna say 10.
How many had or 10?
Many.
Many.
How many have
Tracey (42:46):
you had?
We had in season two.
Mike (42:49):
Oh.
And that's since when to when?
What month?
September.
Eptember to now.
Sorry.
12.
12.
September.
To now.
Oh, I'm gonna go with 14.
Kelly (42:58):
You guys are so close, but nobody's lucky number 13.
Tracey (43:06):
Yeah.
Okay, so starting with ourfriend and fellow podcaster,
Matt Gardner from RecoveryRoadmap.
Oh, good.
And fellow Canadian too, whichis awesome.
Kelly (43:19):
And I was on his podcast.
I was a guest on his podcast.
Oh yeah, that's right.
That's right.
You guys didn't even listen.
Thanks a lot.
No, we will have to listen.
I'm not, I don't think youadvertised
Tracey (43:32):
it enough for yourself there.
Kel,
Kelly (43:38):
did you post that on social media, Kel?
Lindsey (43:41):
I didn't see, I remember seeing it.
Yeah, she did.
Tracey (43:46):
Our next guest was Kelly's friend, Jamie?
Yes.
And what's okay, because I'vebastardized this season with
people's last names.
I should have a whole blooperreel of doing thatwe.
No Swalie.
See.
Look, I can't do it.
Kelly (44:04):
I know, but British Wheel's fun to say weird.
Tracey (44:09):
Yeah.
So Kelly's friend, Jamie, he wasgreat.
And our next guest was MartinLockett.
Kelly (44:17):
Oh.
Tracey (44:19):
That was an extremely intense and impactful episode.
Guys, if you haven't listened tothat episode, after you finish
with this one, go to MartinLockets episode and hit play.
Just do it and
Kelly (44:34):
follow him on social media and see the amazing work
he is doing.
Tracey (44:38):
He's really turned into an inspiration, that's for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steven McDonald, our friendSteven, who wrote his book of
collection of quotes
Lindsey (44:50):
from you guys.
I just got that from him in,from Amazon.
I did.
You just got it a week ago.
Really?
He sent me
Tracey (44:57):
yeah.
And I'd like to mention he wroteanother book of poems that he
sent me as well.
And I do have copies.
I just need to send them to youguys.
I just got it as well.
Kelly (45:08):
And he read us a poem at the end of that episode, so make
sure you listen to that.
Yeah, that poem was awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was great.
And then we had Kim Kearns onthe Edge of Shattered, another
author.
Oh, yes.
That was a good one.
Has anybody read her book yet?
No.
Tracey (45:28):
No.
I know we should because I knowwe all were interested in that
and we,
Kelly (45:33):
her story was very relatable to me.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we had my yogi friend,Deb McNain Oh.
From Shadowlands Yoga.
And she has also doing greatwork Yeah.
Y 12 yoga program that issupporting people that our in
the sober community.
(45:54):
Then we had our friend SonyaKahlon, another Canadian to
start.
Now she's American, but she wasCanadian at heart from ever
bloom.
And she says, oh yes, she'sdoing great work and the
recovery community.
Oh yes.
That was my favorite afterrecording conversation.
(46:14):
Yes.
Oh God, we shoulda keptrecording.
Lindsey (46:17):
Yeah.
We shoulda have kept recording.
Tracey (46:19):
She was a lot of fun.
And then we had.
Sweet, sweet Carter Evans,Kelly's son.
Kelly (46:26):
Oh my God.
One, yeah, I was traveling Ithink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's still living alcohol free.
Lindsey (46:33):
He's awesome.
Tracey (46:34):
That's awesome.
Yeah, he was so sweet.
And then Ben, Tuff Swim tuff.
Ben's documentary has started tobe released in a couple of
different cities in the USThere's been some showings.
It'll be great when we can getit on YouTube or whatever
platform it ends up on.
I'm very excited to watch that.
Kelly (46:55):
Yes.
Tracey (46:56):
And then we had Hayley Schreders
Lindsey (46:59):
Got it right this time you did get it right?
Yes.
You did.
Kelly (47:04):
Living over the influence.
Tracey (47:06):
Another fellow Canadian Haley was awesome too, and she's
doing some great work in therecovery community as well.
And then we had Mr.
Jamie Wild from Feragaia, ourfirst non-alcoholic beverage
company.
I missed yeah, that was prettyamazing what they,
Kelly (47:26):
and he has a crush on Lindsay or Lindsay has a crush
on him.
What was that?
Lindsey (47:29):
I have a crush on him.
I'm just gonna put it out there.
Also, do you know Kelly?
They have his product Feragaiaat supermarket.
Oh, really?
Carry.
Okay.
We'll have to go check it out.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yep.
We'll have to do a shopping.
Day there together.
Yes.
Stock up for our summersupplies.
I love it.
(47:49):
I love that.
That's a good idea.
Girls.
Dry July.
Kelly (47:55):
Yeah.
Tracey (47:55):
Throw together some mocktails for dry Ju July in
support of dry July.
That's a hard one to say.
That's like a freaking, I lovehow you say it.
Yeah.
Like slur in my words here.
Not seeming to dry on that one.
(48:15):
Anyways, and then we had goodold Caroline Barrett, which was
Mike's friend from Sober Me.
She is doing great things withthe recovery community as well.
Yeah.
Lots of recovery coaches, whichis awesome.
Yes.
So much support out there.
I love it.
And then last but not least, ournew friend Deb Masner, and I
(48:36):
think I got that one right thistime too.
From Alcohol Tipping Point andDeb is been posting all over her
social media for us today.
Yeah, she is awesome.
And I loved it.
Cause she's a nurse and shecomes from that health
background, so
Kelly (48:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tracey (48:53):
No, and I love that she is, trying to spread awareness
on the health risks.
And that is her mission and herbig focus.
And I loved her alcoholidays.
Kelly (49:04):
Yeah.
Alcohol day.
I was just trying to rememberwhat she called that.
Yeah.
Tracey (49:07):
Alcohol.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah.
Oh my
Lindsey (49:09):
God.
So great.
And you wanna
Kelly (49:10):
take it so grateful that we've been connected with all
these people.
Holy.
I know.
I never imagined I'd meet thatmany people around the world
and, yeah.
This is amazing.
Lindsey (49:19):
We're interviewing guests, you guys that's awesome.
Tracey (49:24):
And so many people are just so passionate and creative,
in what they're doing.
And like I said, I just can't,it's like an immense amount of
support that you receive fromall these people.
And it's amazing.
Kelly (49:38):
That's another thing we could add to our list that we've
made is being of service, andthat's what we're doing here.
Oh.
And I am finding I'm gaining somuch for my own alcohol free
journey.
Everything that I'm learningfrom you guys and from the
guests is being of service.
And it's keeping me accountabletoo.
A hundred percent.
So true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But all of these guests are ofservice in the community.
(50:00):
I love it.
Lindsey (50:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess that's the end of seasontwo.
We are so grateful to you guysfor tuning in every Tuesday and
listening and we would love foryou to.
Share this episode especially ifyou think it can help somebody
that you know.
So we're gonna take a break forthe summer.
(50:21):
We will be back in the fall withexciting guests and interviews.
If you wanna be featured on ourshow, reach out to us.
We would love to hear from you.
And thank you for the support.
We love you guys.
Until next time, keep laughing.
Bye everybody.
Kelly (50:38):
Bye guys.
Lindsey (50:39):
Mike is word.
Word.
Kelly (50:42):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of thelaugh life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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