March 3, 2024 • 37 mins
What are we seeking when we are drinking? Are we searching for more meaning or lacking purpose in life and that's part of why we lose ourselves to alcohol. Is drinking part a ritual we practice? We explore these questions and many more in this episode. We reveal some of our favorite spiritual practices that have helped us find a deeper purpose in sobriety. Living alcohol free has allowed us to rediscover our child like curiosity and explore new rituals that have brought us closer to something bigger than ourselves!
Recommended Reads:
Eckhart Tolley https://eckharttolle.com/
Deepak Chopra https://www.deepakchopra.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:02):
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:39):
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF Lifepodcast.
We're so glad that you're herewith us today.
We are going to be talking aboutspirituality and sobriety and
how to find meaning withoutalcohol.
I think these two thingsintersect.
And alcohol, I think whensomebody uses alcohol, you're
(01:00):
trying to find meaning, oryou're trying to feel better.
And I think sobriety, it'sdefinitely a clearer lens.
When you are sober versus whenyou're drinking.
I definitely can say that fromexperience.
You're free from the distortionsthat alcohol causes, if that
makes any sense.
Yeah.
(01:21):
I don't know.
I think there are different wayswithout alcohol that you can
deepen your spiritual practice,meditation, prayer going to
church.
I think sobriety can open up adeeper understanding of yourself
and you're able then to connectwith others around you that have
common interests.
(01:42):
I know when I just, quitdrinking and the beginning of my
sober journey, I found my wayback to church.
Was going every week because Ifelt like really connected there
with the praise and worship thatwas happening I'm somebody that
believes in God.
I don't necessarily follow anysort of religion or I was raised
(02:05):
Catholic.
Do I believe in all of thereligious things?
No, but you definitely feel whenyou're around people who have
the same sort of beliefs.
You feel like a certain energy.
And I think that I was trying tofind that when I was using
alcohol, that connectedness, andit didn't go that way for me.
(02:27):
I didn't really feel that untilI stopped drinking.
Kelly (02:30):
Interesting.
Right off the hop, I think weshould talk about, there is a
difference between you touchedon it, Lynn's spirituality and
religion.
Yes.
I found a simple definition Iwill share my opinion too, but
this is a simple definition thatI found about spirituality.
Spirituality involves therecognition of a feeling or
sense or belief that there issomething greater than myself.
(02:53):
Something more to being humanthan sensory experience and that
the greater whole of which weare part of is cosmic or divine
in nature.
I love that.
I like that definition.
Tracey (03:05):
I was going to say that the definition of that is
different for everybody.
What spirituality means toanybody is.
Yeah.
And we shouldn't judge others,either.
I think there are some peoplethat are super religious, and
I'm just like, whatever worksfor you.
Everybody believes in differentthings, and I think ultimately
(03:27):
at the end of the day, we're allsaying the same thing.
We believe that there'ssomething bigger than ourselves.
And what practices Make you moreconnected to that energy of
something being bigger thanyourself.
For me, number one is nature.
Yeah.
That's a spiritual practice forme.
Number two is yoga moving mybody and like a moving
(03:50):
meditation.
Wherever you find thatconnection, that's feels bigger
than you, but it is you.
I think it's important to pointout the difference because none
of us went to a, or sorry,Kelly, you did temporarily, but
we didn't go through the wholeprogram and.
a lot of people don't want to gothrough that program.
(04:12):
Because they feel that it's onthe religious side.
And they may not be religious.
I have a question.
Yeah.
Lindsey (04:20):
Do you guys think that alcohol is a religious practice?
When I think alcohol, I had myrituals with it, right?
I would go to the same LC and Iwould buy the same bottle of
wine and then I would take thesame way home and then I would
buy the same, food to pair withit.
And then I would do my.
Netflix and bath, with my wineand it just dawned on me maybe
(04:42):
using alcohol.
Can be compared to religiouspractice even.
Yeah.
I know for myself that I alwayswas a seeker, I wasn't brought
up with church or anything likethat in my life, so I was
seeking it.
And we talked a little bit aboutthat before the recording, what
it was like while you weredrinking and it wasn't great.
But I was still seekingproactively probably since 2008,
(05:04):
and then I drank for another 10years.
Kelly (05:06):
Yes.
So I think there is ritual inpersonal spiritual practices.
I think that makes sense thatthat just came to you, that
there was ritual in yourdrinking because you probably at
that time did not have a strongspiritual practice.
It's something you need in yourlife.
So you were doing it with, andI'm I was too.
Yeah.
Like the There was a ritual,there was a certain glass that I
(05:29):
wanted to drink out of, therewas a certain chair that I sat
in.
Yeah, sure, that's a really goodpoint.
What do you think, Trace?
That's funny, Linds, I thoughtyou were going a different
avenue with that, because I'mthinking What avenue?
What do you think?
I'm thinking about when theybless you at church and they
give you wine and communion,right?
And so that's the avenue Ithought you were going with
(05:50):
that, but did I relate,religious practices or church to
that practice?
It being that wine is involvedin that practice or fake wine
normally at church.
But that's what the premise issupposed to be, right?
Lindsey (06:06):
I remember my first communion.
I think I was in what, nine?
And taking that, it is the realwine from the cup and thinking,
oh my gosh, like this tasteslike ass, like it was horrible,
so I couldn't imagine.
Actually drinking the stuff forfun or, to satisfy some sort of
(06:26):
inner need, yeah, I was justthinking about how it can be
very ritualistic,
Tracey (06:32):
yeah, speaking of that, I definitely had my rituals and
routine for sure.
If you want to look at it thatway.
I definitely had that too.
So where do you guys feel mostconnected to something bigger
than you?
What activity or what setting orwhat?
Lindsey (06:50):
Sitting in the sun, usually sitting on the floor.
I don't know what it is aboutsunshine, on my face with my
eyes closed and just feelingmyself breathing, deep breathing
in and out.
And I can just close my eyes.
And think about the things thatI'm grateful for and think about
all of the abundance in my life.
(07:11):
And I just think damn, even allof the bad things that I've been
through and all of the reallyhard times, I didn't know how I
was going to get through peoplethat I've met loss.
It all has brought me.
Here, right?
Even being grateful that I don'tdrink anymore.
I'm super grateful for that.
And I just think, wow, I can'timagine where my life would be
(07:35):
if I was still consuming alcoholthe way that I was because I was
doing it in such an abusive way.
It was just weekend bingedrinking.
yeah, I don't know.
So sitting on the floor, I usedto have a space in my previous
home that I owned in my officethere and I just loved that room
and I would just sit on thefloor, cross my legs, deep
(07:56):
breathe, sun on my face and Ijust felt so connected.
I don't know.
I love that.
I love it.
Kelly (08:03):
I love it.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, I definitely feel thatwhen I'm in a quiet space or on
my own I also feel it though incoincidences or what people
would consider coincidences,which I don't believe in, I
believe, things come into yourlife for a reason and happen for
(08:25):
a reason.
So I believe there's alwaysmessaging in that.
it's like connecting humanconnection to me, there's
definitely something about that.
Makes me feel in touch withsomething bigger and also
through learning education,learning new things.
I think being curious.
(08:46):
Those type of things are whatcreates a sense of something
bigger for me.
Lindsey (08:51):
I think alcohol blocks all that.
I think it blocks you fromconnecting to that inner voice
and the inner being and who youare.
I think when we're drinkingalcohol, we can't access that.
That
Tracey (09:06):
You're definitely not on the road to a higher purpose,
right?
Because in order to be on theroad to a higher purpose, you
really have to be doing a lot ofthings to be more self aware.
And when we're drinking alcohol,we're not self aware, we're
stuffing down our selfawareness.
I definitely don't think we'reon any kind of spiritual path.
(09:28):
When we're drinking, you'reright, Linz, I think alcohol
acts almost as a blocker todefinitely a higher self and
limits our potential as well, asfar as going down that path.
Lindsey (09:40):
You're vibing at such a low level.
I've heard that.
I've heard other people andother podcasters and people on
this topic say, being drunk isone of the lowest frequencies
that you can vibe at.
So if you're putting that outthere, geez.
Tracey (09:54):
If you think about the people you're surrounding
yourself with too, because thepeople you're surrounding
yourself with will also affectyour vibration.
Lindsey (10:03):
Eliminating alcohol will let you and allow you to
step up and go higher andconnect with the people, that
are at a higher vibration.
Tracey (10:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
Lindsey (10:13):
Not in a way that it's like, Oh, I'm better than you
now because I don't drink.
It's in a, I think we, inside ofus, we know who we are.
Even if we're distorted anddrinking alcohol and we don't
have our quote unquote shittogether, I think we know who we
are.
We have this feeling inside ofus We know the kind of person we
want to be the life we want tohave I think we all sit and
(10:34):
daydream about things I think ifyou're daydreaming about things
too, I'm a big daydreamer.
I just envision things and Ithink of things and yeah, I do
that more often Now that I'm notdrinking and I think if you put
that out there, that kind ofcomes back to you.
Kelly (10:52):
Yes.
Yeah, I feel like that's thesame energy Trace was talking
about, like the curiosity, ifyou think of all of the things
that made you an amazing littlehuman when you were small, those
are the things that come back.
Like we numb it out and there'salso not just alcoholic society
you lose that curiosity aroundall things and creation and
(11:14):
stuff like that.
But yeah, I feel like that's oneof the gifts being alcohol free
is having all that come back tome.
Creativity.
That's another.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Making art or just beingcreative.
I just moved and, trying to fit.
Things in new spaces and that'sa spiritual act that nesting and
(11:35):
all of that.
But I have that creation.
I'm like, how am I going to fitthis over here when I bring this
here?
Yeah.
I wouldn't have had space forthat before.
Going back to what Lindsay saidit's that inner voice is
something speaking to you.
That is, pushing you to adifferent or potentially higher
place that inner voice is asignal of you connecting with
(11:57):
your spirituality I believe.
And yes, Energy in general, likeyou're saying, Kel, the energy
you're creating in your space.
All of that, is connected totaking you to a different place
or a different level, or tryingto create a different vibration
for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(12:17):
Plants, all the plants in yourspace, they're breathing life
and energy into it.
Yeah.
Love that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Taking care of plants.
That's a spiritual practice.
Love
Lindsey (12:28):
It is for sure.
Taking care of yourself is aspiritual practice.
When you're not drinking andyou're choosing to do healthier
things, that is a real act ofself love, I think.
And self love and self care, canbe very spiritual.
Kelly (12:44):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I do want people to understandthat they don't necessarily need
to find a higher power to quitdrinking though, because I think
a lot of people connect those 2things as well.
Inevitably, it's a decision thatstarts with yourself.
And then you'll probably findthat naturally you just evolve
(13:06):
from there once you make thatdecision, because you're no
longer shutting down those partsof yourself that kind of take
you or lead you to more selfawareness a higher sense of self
and inevitably going down thepath of being more spiritually
connected to something biggerthan yourself.
(13:26):
Yes.
And I like what Lindsay saidabout her spiritual practice is
sitting on the floor and beingin the sunshine.
It doesn't have to be, have analtar set up or going to church
or, it's so simple.
Like I'm a big believer inmeditation with my Reiki
clients.
I'm like, you don't have tolight the incense and sit on
your special pillow and all thatstuff.
(13:47):
It could be three really longdeep breaths in your car before
you go into the grocery store.
That's a meditation.
That's a spiritual practice.
Don't overcomplicate it.
Yeah.
It's the little things again.
Yeah.
We say that a lot, but evengoing for a walk, which is
connected to just being out innature.
Yeah.
My gosh, getting that energyflowing through your body and
(14:10):
the lessons in nature, thelessons that we can learn from
just observing nature and theflow of nature and how a tree
goes through the seasons,everything we can learn in
nature is direct, reflection ofliving here as a human.
Yeah.
And I think there's just a lotto learn going for a walk
because you have the space to bewith your own thoughts.
(14:35):
Yeah, go for a walk without yourphone.
I highly recommend leaving yourphone at home.
And going back to what Linz wassaying about sitting on the
floor, like for me, there'ssomething about the sunshine on
my face that instantly brings megratitude.
Lindsey (14:47):
And calm, like instant calm,
Kelly (14:50):
the sun is medicine.
I truly believe that.
Yeah.
It's that shot of vitamin D thatwe all so desperately need.
Yeah.
So have you guys read any good?
Spiritual books, what would you,if somebody was like, yeah, this
all sounds great, but like, howdo I bring something like this
into my life?
Ooh,
Lindsey (15:09):
that's a great question.
I'm like the Bible.
Good.
Okay.
But I don't know, take that witha grain of salt.
I could get into so manydifferent topics on that, but
I'm just like, I think it's moreof.
Reading one of those stories andthen finding the metaphor in it
and how it relates to real life,right?
(15:31):
Even today, I think there's alot of relevant stories about
perseverance and overcomingchallenges.
And I think even studies showthat people who have faith in
something live better qualitiesof life.
So it's just, yeah, I'm tryingto think off the top of my head.
I do have a bunch of books andI'm trying to think of titles
(15:52):
now, but I'm put on the spot andI'm just like, Alzheimer's
Tracey (15:56):
I like Deepak Chopra, he has a lot of great books.
One of my favorite books growingup was called The Way of the
Wizard.
It wasn't probably 1 of his moreknown or popular ones, but I
really liked that 1.
The Celestine Prophecy.
That was a good 1 to Mike hadtalked about there's a little
(16:17):
movie on YouTube.
That's based on that book.
But I read the book and the bookwas very good.
The book to me was a lot morepowerful messaging, like a lot
of books in comparison tomovies.
There's lots of podcasts outthere too even Deepak Chopra has
spiritual, like littlemeditations.
They're very short and each ofthem has is intentional and very
(16:40):
specific.
And you can listen to them inthe car on a 10 minute drive.
Those I found really great.
And they just open your mind tothink about more things.
That's what it's all aboutreally, it's a journey.
Like there's no end, I don'tthink.
Like being spirituallyenlightened or whatever that
means.
But, yeah, it's a daily.
(17:02):
Thing to have in your life.
Yeah.
I love the book, the Alchemist.
Oh yeah.
The great book.
I just gave that to my almost18-year-old and Eckhart Toley.
The first one I read is called ANew Earth, but I think the first
introductory book of his wouldbe The Power of Now.
Yeah.
And it's about living inpresence and Yeah.
(17:23):
And the ego.
Lots on the ego, but it's reallygood.
It's an easy read.
That would be my.
go to's for beginner books.
But I still read Eckhart all thetime.
I like that you mentioned thingslike gratitude as a practice.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a spiritual practice.
Yeah.
For sure.
I think the three things you'regrateful for right now.
Lindsey (17:43):
It can be so quick.
Even do it daily.
Like when you wake up, youralarm goes off.
Don't go to your phone rightaway.
I used to do that.
I used to just immediately,first of all, I used to have my
cell phone as my alarm.
So you've got to reach for it toturn it off and then guess what?
It's in your hand and thenyou're in the scroll hole and
what a crappy way to start yourday.
But yeah, just take a deepbreath, sit on the edge of the
(18:04):
bed, think of the three thingsthat you are thankful for,
grateful for, or think of, howyou're going to have a great
day.
Think of that cup of coffee,that's the first thing I think
of, right?
You can enjoy that, think of Idon't know, listen to an audio
book as you're getting ready.
look at yourself in the mirror.
And that's one thing that I cando now that I would just want to
(18:27):
vomit when I did that.
Waking up after a weekend ofbinge drinking and looking in
the mirror just felt likegarbage.
I didn't even want to look atmyself.
I don't think I did, honestly.
I don't even think I was reallylooking.
No, you can see, but you're noteven really looking look in your
eyes and tell yourself threethings about yourself that you
(18:48):
are thankful for or that youlove.
Start your morning like thatwith gratitude, I think is such
an important thing.
You can even write quickly justthree things down on a piece of
paper or in a little book.
Keep it by your bed.
Tracey (19:01):
I was going to say journaling or using
affirmations.
Yes.
Affirmations can be good too.
Kel, coffee is a ritual too.
Absolutely.
It's a spiritual ritual.
My morning ritual is, I love mymorning ritual so much.
And yeah, coffee's the maincharacter.
Lindsey (19:22):
I think just also seek inspiration, surround yourself
with inspirational content,whether you're getting that on
Instagram or books or podcasts,listen, do something like that
for yourself, driving to workand you're going to be, the
drive is hard or it's, long,learn something.
Yeah.
Tracey (19:40):
I agree.
I think inspiration.
Seek inspiration.
Is a big driver.
Yeah.
What did you say, Trace?
I think, I agree.
I think inspiration is a bigdriver.
Yeah.
And do something creative.
like you were saying, like paintor, yeah, I bought a paint by
number.
I started it just before mymove, so I saw it today.
(20:01):
I'm like, oh, I can't wait toget back to this, or
Lindsey (20:03):
no, not the paint by number.
What am I remembering?
Didn't you buy an adult coloringbook?
Yeah.
You do that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah,
Tracey (20:09):
When you quit drinking.
You might not think you're avery creative person and then
you might surprise yourselfbecause I think that's something
you also shut down or block isyour creative energy.
We all have creativity in us,but yeah, we block it I used to
say to myself all the time.
I'm not creative.
Where'd that come from?
I don't know.
Music as a spiritual practice.
(20:31):
Ooh, I love that one.
Music and dancing and singing.
Open your throat chakra.
You need help with that.
And get all that energy out ofyour body, right?
That's what dancing does, justlike exercise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Releasing a lot of physicalenergy.
Shaking off the cobwebs.
Yeah.
(20:52):
running.
I know people that run, that's aspiritual practice running to me
is like a very A typepersonality.
Yeah.
I have never.
I'm just, I'm not an A typeperson, so that is why I've
never ran.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I've talked to runnersbefore and it's that same, body
(21:13):
mind soul spirit connection thatI get on the yoga mat, they get
it when they're out thererunning.
So I can relate.
Do I ever have a desire to tryit out?
I do not.
It's like a ritual.
Yeah.
The people that I know that run.
It is like ritualistic to them.
Lindsey (21:34):
It's about pushing yourself to just when you think
you want to quit or you thinkyou can't, and then you go just
like even 30 seconds more andyou're like, huh, I did it.
Like I could go further.
I could push harder that feelsreally good.
I know I just got a treadmill.
I did my first one yesterday andI'm like, I am sore today, but
(21:57):
what am I going to do?
After this recording, I'mgetting back on it.
I just feel like it's improving,me physically and challenges me
mentally and emotionally becausethere's a lot of emotion that
comes up when you do somethinglike running.
You can get really pissed offand I get sometimes even
irritable or frustrated and youjust have to like work through
(22:18):
that.
And then you're like, okay, Igot through it and I'm still
going, Yeah, resilience.
You're building resilience thatI don't think you're just born
resilient.
You have to build that upbuilding character.
Yeah,
Tracey (22:30):
I have ran before.
And 1 thing I can say is I dothink it definitely helps
mentally clear your mind almostlike walking.
But.
It wasn't my favorite activity.
That's for sure.
It's not something that camenaturally to me either.
It required a lot of work toeven get to say, 5k.
There's so many other physicalactivities that I enjoy so much
(22:53):
better.
Lindsey (22:54):
Yeah, and pick something that resonates with
you, right?
You don't want to
Kelly (22:58):
think to yeah in early days, I was like, oh, my God,
what am I going to do with allthis time?
And I had no idea what I wantedmy hobbies to be or what I was
interested in because I lost allof it.
My hobby was drinking.
So just be curious listen topodcasts, go into, the community
alcohol free groups and thingslike that and see what other
(23:19):
people are doing.
That's how I found the colouringbooks, Linz.
Yeah.
Like I'm like, Oh, that soundsinteresting.
I don't know if I'll like it,but I'll try it.
Cause this person said, just becurious and try out different
things.
Try walking, try running, tryyoga, try treadmills, like
whatever.
Something's going to be like,Hey, this is good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lindsey (23:38):
I never thought of that, how I lost hobbies or
motivation, drinking alcohol wasa total motivation killer.
Yeah.
I didn't want to do anything.
I didn't want to do anything butdrink and eat.
And then the next day I didn'twant to do anything at all.
I just wanted to stay in bed andI just wanted to eat garbage,
Kelly (23:58):
but weren't you shocked by how much extra time you, I
know you were a weekend drinkerweren't you shocked with all the
extra time you had on theweekends?
Lindsey (24:05):
I was actually, because here's the thing, I'm up at 6 or
8 a.
m.
I'm not sleeping till 1 p.
m., and I used to find theweekends would go so fast, so
fast.
They still fly by, but, I'm justlike more mindful about what I'm
doing with my time.
I don't have to accommodate ahangover, right?
That would often dictate what Icould do, right?
(24:28):
Even, I would be so hungoversometimes that I couldn't even
go to the thing that I committedto doing.
the next day, right?
Then I become this person thatbails, doesn't show up for
people.
I couldn't even show up formyself.
So spiritually that's killing meinside because I know that don't
want to be that person, yeah, Iused to do that a lot.
Kelly (24:52):
Yeah.
I was trying to do that at theend.
Yeah, I just found thateverything really opened up for
me when I stopped drinking asfar as my motivation, my
creativity my curiosity again,my willingness and desire to
learn new things and.
Yeah, everything came backtenfold from what I remember
(25:13):
being like, when I was in myearly 20s, trying to explore
life my zest for life just cameback, right?
Yeah, that's such a good way todescribe it.
Yeah, and everything was justlike, everything just opened up.
And with that opening.
I think I really became moreself aware because of all that
openness and all thatinformation and energy from so
(25:37):
many different things is flowingin.
And, you're doing things toincrease that and to be more
intentional and focusing on it.
It's amazing.
Then with all those thingscombined, you just start being
at a higher vibration andfeeling more connected to
(25:57):
yourself and your spirit and.
On a higher path, and I don'tthink it necessarily starts out
amazing like I remember thefirst few weeks of not drinking,
just feeling really agitated andemotional and thinking.
This fucking sucks.
(26:19):
I don't feel good, wasn't likepicking up a Eckhart Tolle book
the first day I quit drinkingand Lindsay, I don't think you
were going to church.
I was not.
Yeah.
It's no, I was in bed.
Like I could barely stand myselfto be in my, this, what is this
life?
And I think I was so exhausted.
When you say I was in bed here'sthe thing, on a Friday after a
(26:42):
long week of work, I would becompletely drained and exhausted
from work, but also the previousweekend's recovery, right?
And I remember feeling so tiredthinking to myself, I just want
to go to bed.
I just want to crawl into mybed.
(27:02):
At eight o'clock PM and go tobed and sleep till eight the
next day.
But what did I do instead?
I went and I got wine.
I was still tired.
I sat up and did stupid thingslike, not that Netflix is
stupid, you're not doinganything meaningful and I'm
staying up for this and I'mpushing myself to stay up later
(27:23):
than I should be staying updrinking.
So now I'm putting this stuffinto my system and now it's two
in the morning.
And I thought to myself before Ijust want to be in bed by eight,
right?
So just perpetually exhausted.
So I think when you said all Iwanted to do was lay in bed when
I first stopped drinking, thatis also what I thought to
(27:46):
myself.
I'm gonna have this time tosleep.
I haven't slept well in so longthat, now I'm like, if I want to
take a nap on a weekend guesswhat?
That's what I'm gonna do.
And if I'm going to bed onFriday at 10 p.
m.
instead of three in the morningbecause I decided to stay up and
listen to music by myself andwatch Netflix and down two
(28:09):
bottles of red wine.
I'm going to go to bed and thenI'm going to wake up the next
day.
And then I'm like, okay, I hadto play catch up basically for
how I treated myself so badlyall those years.
Crazy.
Tracey (28:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's funny.
It's like you made it up withsleep and rest.
I was making it upenergetically.
As soon as I stopped drinking, Iwas like energized.
It's like my energy was low andI was at When you were drinking.
Yeah.
A lower level.
Oh yeah.
And then you're like, Hey,drinking.
Yeah.
So it really suppressed myenergy.
(28:46):
So I've always been a highenergy person.
I used to drive my ex nuts'causeI wouldn't sit down on the couch
for three minutes.
Yeah.
So for me almost instantly, myenergy was increased, but then
it's like, what do I do with allthis energy?
I think for me, there was youthink it's a boredom factor oh,
I'm bored.
What am I going to do now?
(29:07):
Until you figure out what youwant to do and the things you
want to focus on, then you'renot bored anymore.
That's where the creativitycomes from boredom.
And I just want to say, I'vesaid this before on the podcast,
but like something that reallyshook me and shocked me was the
grief that I had to go throughwhile I was in bed.
(29:28):
The grief of losing that bestfriend really hit me hard.
What best friend?
My wine.
So that was pretty shocking andI didn't expect it at all.
So I like to just mention thatwhen we talk about these things
because I'm glad you did saythat because I think we, our
listeners need to hear that.
(29:48):
It isn't all going to berainbows and unicorns when
you're like, okay I'm decidingI'm not drinking starting
tomorrow.
You're going to go through somestuff.
Yeah.
I went through, I didn't gothrough alcohol withdrawal.
I went through sugar withdrawal.
So yeah, I was craving sugarlike crazy and I would, if
anybody goes through that, Iwould just say, just listen to
your body.
Like you can only do one thingat a time.
(30:09):
So eat the Skittles, whatever.
Yeah.
It's three years later and I'mstill going through that Kel
with yourself.
I think for me, it's an all ornothing thing.
I think that's what I figuredout about myself.
I can't moderate sugar, justlike I couldn't moderate
alcohol, I'm just a person thatif those types of things I have
(30:33):
to be all or nothing.
Yeah, so for me, it's justbetter to abstain because then
I'll get to a point where Idon't crave it or don't want it.
And then don't crack from there,because the 2nd, I crack or let
some sugar seep into that littlecrack.
I'm on it.
I'm back on the crack pipe,right?
(30:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're super self aware,Trace.
And yeah, that's, that comeswith cutting out alcohol also is
having that self awareness ofwhat's good for us and what's
not it's like smoking.
I used to smoke, right?
I actually had that experiencewith smoking more than I did
with wine, Kel.
When I quit smoking, I wentthrough a grieving process, like
(31:20):
I had lost my best friend.
Yeah.
So I can totally relate because100 percent I went through that
and I went through like a milddepression.
Yeah.
Lindsey (31:29):
How did you get through that?
I think for me, it was just morethe longer I abstain, the more
it was out of my system andbroke some of those routines up
I did with alcohol as wellbreaking those kind of rituals.
And creating new ones.
It's just time.
It's like time heals all wounds.
They say you just got to giveyourself time.
(31:50):
There's going to be, it's likethe grieving process, you have
to give yourself time andeventually over time, things get
better.
I was the same way withcigarettes.
I couldn't moderate cigarettes.
I couldn't be all of a sudden asocial smoker.
That was never happening for me,so I couldn't do it with
cigarettes.
I couldn't do it with wine.
(32:10):
So shocker.
I can't do it with sugar either,yeah.
Yeah.
And back to the spiritualpractices.
I think the biggest one for meof all has been to learn how to
live in a state of surrender andknow that there's something
bigger than me.
Guiding me and that there isalready a plan and to stop
(32:30):
trying to control everythingbecause that's something that's
still, yeah, that's something Istill, it's a big work in
progress for me is that tryingto control things.
Wow.
Instead of just surrendering andknowing okay, Jesus, take the
wheel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think when you'redrinking, it helps you not give
(32:51):
a shit.
It takes that.
I don't know how to even wordit.
I just remember feelingwhatever.
I don't care for right now.
I'll worry about that tomorrow.
But some more comes and it'sstill there or worse.
And
Kelly (33:08):
yeah.
Yeah, You guys think you drankthen to give up control
temporarily.
I think so alleviate yourselffrom.
Needing or feeling the need tocontrol things, knowing that
while you were drinking, youdidn't care so much yeah.
(33:31):
Probably.
Yeah.
I thought about it that way, butyeah.
It's an escape.
Quiet.
Like quiet the mind.
Yeah.
Lindsey (33:39):
Yeah.
But to see that happensartificially with alcohol,
because you can work on, withoutsubstances actually quieting
your mind.
It's really hard.
It is so hard to sit there insilence and not.
Yeah.
Have your brain.
Kelly (33:53):
Oh, it's got to be impossible.
That's a misconception aboutmeditation.
So you think you're going to sitthere and your mind is going to
be blank.
That's not true.
Yeah, but I feel like it'sactually easier when you're not
drinking.
Because for me, I think drinkingincreased that because of the
anxiety.
Definitely the next day, my mindwas way busier than it is now
(34:19):
because of the increasedanxiety.
I actually think that drinkingmade that worse, constant voice
and things in your head.
The day after?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The next day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just mean while I was drinkingthrough my drinking career, I
definitely had more buzzinggoing on in my head because of
(34:43):
the alcohol and the increasedanxiety.
I find it way easier now to calmthat and control that I can get
myself out of those type of.
Thoughts way easier and quickernow that I'm not drinking
because I'm clear minded.
For sure.
Yeah, I feel like I would alsorespond to things irrationally
(35:06):
and like knee jerk when I wasdrinking alcohol.
If somebody said something to mein person, I would have a
response for it.
And I would probably regret whatI said, but now without alcohol,
you're more mindful,, I'm like,okay, wait 24 hours before you
send that email, or okay, let'sreally process this or just even
(35:27):
not even process it.
Let's just sit with it.
And come back to it tomorrow.
And I think when you drinkalcohol, you don't give yourself
that ability.
You take that ability away toprocess things.
You just make these snap remarksand judgments and opinions about
things.
(35:47):
And you may not even beunderstanding something in the
reality of it.
You have this distorted view ofthings or opinions.
You're reactive.
I was a more reactive person,for sure.
I think not drinking reallyhelps to have control over your
emotions and not be reactive andto be able to take that minute
(36:11):
to think about things or processthings that is very empowering.
Lindsey (36:16):
I love that.
This is a good convo.
I think.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think I would bewhere I'm at six years later
without a strong spiritualpractice.
I think it's important to meanyway.
I think it's all individual,right?
Whatever you find peace inthat's your spiritual practice.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Tracey (36:36):
Yeah.
And whatever you find is guidingyou.
To where you want to be I loveit.
And if you're drawn tosomething, if you're curious
about something, a book or apodcast or a religion or
anything like follow it.
I love that advice.
That's the best advice.
Lindsey (36:54):
All right, everybody.
Thank you again so much fortuning in to the LAF Life
podcast.
And don't forget, you can findus on Instagram at LAF Life
podcast.
And we also have our website,laflifepodcast.
com.
And we'll see you back here nextTuesday with a brand new
(37:15):
episode.
Tracey (37:16):
So until then, you guys know what to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (37:22):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsay Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:39):
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to the LAF Lifepodcast.
We're so glad that you're herewith us today.
We are going to be talking aboutspirituality and sobriety and
how to find meaning withoutalcohol.
I think these two thingsintersect.
And alcohol, I think whensomebody uses alcohol, you're
(01:00):
trying to find meaning, oryou're trying to feel better.
And I think sobriety, it'sdefinitely a clearer lens.
When you are sober versus whenyou're drinking.
I definitely can say that fromexperience.
You're free from the distortionsthat alcohol causes, if that
makes any sense.
Yeah.
(01:21):
I don't know.
I think there are different wayswithout alcohol that you can
deepen your spiritual practice,meditation, prayer going to
church.
I think sobriety can open up adeeper understanding of yourself
and you're able then to connectwith others around you that have
common interests.
(01:42):
I know when I just, quitdrinking and the beginning of my
sober journey, I found my wayback to church.
Was going every week because Ifelt like really connected there
with the praise and worship thatwas happening I'm somebody that
believes in God.
I don't necessarily follow anysort of religion or I was raised
(02:05):
Catholic.
Do I believe in all of thereligious things?
No, but you definitely feel whenyou're around people who have
the same sort of beliefs.
You feel like a certain energy.
And I think that I was trying tofind that when I was using
alcohol, that connectedness, andit didn't go that way for me.
(02:27):
I didn't really feel that untilI stopped drinking.
Kelly (02:30):
Interesting.
Right off the hop, I think weshould talk about, there is a
difference between you touchedon it, Lynn's spirituality and
religion.
Yes.
I found a simple definition Iwill share my opinion too, but
this is a simple definition thatI found about spirituality.
Spirituality involves therecognition of a feeling or
sense or belief that there issomething greater than myself.
(02:53):
Something more to being humanthan sensory experience and that
the greater whole of which weare part of is cosmic or divine
in nature.
I love that.
I like that definition.
Tracey (03:05):
I was going to say that the definition of that is
different for everybody.
What spirituality means toanybody is.
Yeah.
And we shouldn't judge others,either.
I think there are some peoplethat are super religious, and
I'm just like, whatever worksfor you.
Everybody believes in differentthings, and I think ultimately
(03:27):
at the end of the day, we're allsaying the same thing.
We believe that there'ssomething bigger than ourselves.
And what practices Make you moreconnected to that energy of
something being bigger thanyourself.
For me, number one is nature.
Yeah.
That's a spiritual practice forme.
Number two is yoga moving mybody and like a moving
(03:50):
meditation.
Wherever you find thatconnection, that's feels bigger
than you, but it is you.
I think it's important to pointout the difference because none
of us went to a, or sorry,Kelly, you did temporarily, but
we didn't go through the wholeprogram and.
a lot of people don't want to gothrough that program.
(04:12):
Because they feel that it's onthe religious side.
And they may not be religious.
I have a question.
Yeah.
Lindsey (04:20):
Do you guys think that alcohol is a religious practice?
When I think alcohol, I had myrituals with it, right?
I would go to the same LC and Iwould buy the same bottle of
wine and then I would take thesame way home and then I would
buy the same, food to pair withit.
And then I would do my.
Netflix and bath, with my wineand it just dawned on me maybe
(04:42):
using alcohol.
Can be compared to religiouspractice even.
Yeah.
I know for myself that I alwayswas a seeker, I wasn't brought
up with church or anything likethat in my life, so I was
seeking it.
And we talked a little bit aboutthat before the recording, what
it was like while you weredrinking and it wasn't great.
But I was still seekingproactively probably since 2008,
(05:04):
and then I drank for another 10years.
Kelly (05:06):
Yes.
So I think there is ritual inpersonal spiritual practices.
I think that makes sense thatthat just came to you, that
there was ritual in yourdrinking because you probably at
that time did not have a strongspiritual practice.
It's something you need in yourlife.
So you were doing it with, andI'm I was too.
Yeah.
Like the There was a ritual,there was a certain glass that I
(05:29):
wanted to drink out of, therewas a certain chair that I sat
in.
Yeah, sure, that's a really goodpoint.
What do you think, Trace?
That's funny, Linds, I thoughtyou were going a different
avenue with that, because I'mthinking What avenue?
What do you think?
I'm thinking about when theybless you at church and they
give you wine and communion,right?
And so that's the avenue Ithought you were going with
(05:50):
that, but did I relate,religious practices or church to
that practice?
It being that wine is involvedin that practice or fake wine
normally at church.
But that's what the premise issupposed to be, right?
Lindsey (06:06):
I remember my first communion.
I think I was in what, nine?
And taking that, it is the realwine from the cup and thinking,
oh my gosh, like this tasteslike ass, like it was horrible,
so I couldn't imagine.
Actually drinking the stuff forfun or, to satisfy some sort of
(06:26):
inner need, yeah, I was justthinking about how it can be
very ritualistic,
Tracey (06:32):
yeah, speaking of that, I definitely had my rituals and
routine for sure.
If you want to look at it thatway.
I definitely had that too.
So where do you guys feel mostconnected to something bigger
than you?
What activity or what setting orwhat?
Lindsey (06:50):
Sitting in the sun, usually sitting on the floor.
I don't know what it is aboutsunshine, on my face with my
eyes closed and just feelingmyself breathing, deep breathing
in and out.
And I can just close my eyes.
And think about the things thatI'm grateful for and think about
all of the abundance in my life.
(07:11):
And I just think damn, even allof the bad things that I've been
through and all of the reallyhard times, I didn't know how I
was going to get through peoplethat I've met loss.
It all has brought me.
Here, right?
Even being grateful that I don'tdrink anymore.
I'm super grateful for that.
And I just think, wow, I can'timagine where my life would be
(07:35):
if I was still consuming alcoholthe way that I was because I was
doing it in such an abusive way.
It was just weekend bingedrinking.
yeah, I don't know.
So sitting on the floor, I usedto have a space in my previous
home that I owned in my officethere and I just loved that room
and I would just sit on thefloor, cross my legs, deep
(07:56):
breathe, sun on my face and Ijust felt so connected.
I don't know.
I love that.
I love it.
Kelly (08:03):
I love it.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, I definitely feel thatwhen I'm in a quiet space or on
my own I also feel it though incoincidences or what people
would consider coincidences,which I don't believe in, I
believe, things come into yourlife for a reason and happen for
(08:25):
a reason.
So I believe there's alwaysmessaging in that.
it's like connecting humanconnection to me, there's
definitely something about that.
Makes me feel in touch withsomething bigger and also
through learning education,learning new things.
I think being curious.
(08:46):
Those type of things are whatcreates a sense of something
bigger for me.
Lindsey (08:51):
I think alcohol blocks all that.
I think it blocks you fromconnecting to that inner voice
and the inner being and who youare.
I think when we're drinkingalcohol, we can't access that.
That
Tracey (09:06):
You're definitely not on the road to a higher purpose,
right?
Because in order to be on theroad to a higher purpose, you
really have to be doing a lot ofthings to be more self aware.
And when we're drinking alcohol,we're not self aware, we're
stuffing down our selfawareness.
I definitely don't think we'reon any kind of spiritual path.
(09:28):
When we're drinking, you'reright, Linz, I think alcohol
acts almost as a blocker todefinitely a higher self and
limits our potential as well, asfar as going down that path.
Lindsey (09:40):
You're vibing at such a low level.
I've heard that.
I've heard other people andother podcasters and people on
this topic say, being drunk isone of the lowest frequencies
that you can vibe at.
So if you're putting that outthere, geez.
Tracey (09:54):
If you think about the people you're surrounding
yourself with too, because thepeople you're surrounding
yourself with will also affectyour vibration.
Lindsey (10:03):
Eliminating alcohol will let you and allow you to
step up and go higher andconnect with the people, that
are at a higher vibration.
Tracey (10:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
Lindsey (10:13):
Not in a way that it's like, Oh, I'm better than you
now because I don't drink.
It's in a, I think we, inside ofus, we know who we are.
Even if we're distorted anddrinking alcohol and we don't
have our quote unquote shittogether, I think we know who we
are.
We have this feeling inside ofus We know the kind of person we
want to be the life we want tohave I think we all sit and
(10:34):
daydream about things I think ifyou're daydreaming about things
too, I'm a big daydreamer.
I just envision things and Ithink of things and yeah, I do
that more often Now that I'm notdrinking and I think if you put
that out there, that kind ofcomes back to you.
Kelly (10:52):
Yes.
Yeah, I feel like that's thesame energy Trace was talking
about, like the curiosity, ifyou think of all of the things
that made you an amazing littlehuman when you were small, those
are the things that come back.
Like we numb it out and there'salso not just alcoholic society
you lose that curiosity aroundall things and creation and
(11:14):
stuff like that.
But yeah, I feel like that's oneof the gifts being alcohol free
is having all that come back tome.
Creativity.
That's another.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Making art or just beingcreative.
I just moved and, trying to fit.
Things in new spaces and that'sa spiritual act that nesting and
(11:35):
all of that.
But I have that creation.
I'm like, how am I going to fitthis over here when I bring this
here?
Yeah.
I wouldn't have had space forthat before.
Going back to what Lindsay saidit's that inner voice is
something speaking to you.
That is, pushing you to adifferent or potentially higher
place that inner voice is asignal of you connecting with
(11:57):
your spirituality I believe.
And yes, Energy in general, likeyou're saying, Kel, the energy
you're creating in your space.
All of that, is connected totaking you to a different place
or a different level, or tryingto create a different vibration
for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(12:17):
Plants, all the plants in yourspace, they're breathing life
and energy into it.
Yeah.
Love that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Taking care of plants.
That's a spiritual practice.
Love
Lindsey (12:28):
It is for sure.
Taking care of yourself is aspiritual practice.
When you're not drinking andyou're choosing to do healthier
things, that is a real act ofself love, I think.
And self love and self care, canbe very spiritual.
Kelly (12:44):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I do want people to understandthat they don't necessarily need
to find a higher power to quitdrinking though, because I think
a lot of people connect those 2things as well.
Inevitably, it's a decision thatstarts with yourself.
And then you'll probably findthat naturally you just evolve
(13:06):
from there once you make thatdecision, because you're no
longer shutting down those partsof yourself that kind of take
you or lead you to more selfawareness a higher sense of self
and inevitably going down thepath of being more spiritually
connected to something biggerthan yourself.
(13:26):
Yes.
And I like what Lindsay saidabout her spiritual practice is
sitting on the floor and beingin the sunshine.
It doesn't have to be, have analtar set up or going to church
or, it's so simple.
Like I'm a big believer inmeditation with my Reiki
clients.
I'm like, you don't have tolight the incense and sit on
your special pillow and all thatstuff.
(13:47):
It could be three really longdeep breaths in your car before
you go into the grocery store.
That's a meditation.
That's a spiritual practice.
Don't overcomplicate it.
Yeah.
It's the little things again.
Yeah.
We say that a lot, but evengoing for a walk, which is
connected to just being out innature.
Yeah.
My gosh, getting that energyflowing through your body and
(14:10):
the lessons in nature, thelessons that we can learn from
just observing nature and theflow of nature and how a tree
goes through the seasons,everything we can learn in
nature is direct, reflection ofliving here as a human.
Yeah.
And I think there's just a lotto learn going for a walk
because you have the space to bewith your own thoughts.
(14:35):
Yeah, go for a walk without yourphone.
I highly recommend leaving yourphone at home.
And going back to what Linz wassaying about sitting on the
floor, like for me, there'ssomething about the sunshine on
my face that instantly brings megratitude.
Lindsey (14:47):
And calm, like instant calm,
Kelly (14:50):
the sun is medicine.
I truly believe that.
Yeah.
It's that shot of vitamin D thatwe all so desperately need.
Yeah.
So have you guys read any good?
Spiritual books, what would you,if somebody was like, yeah, this
all sounds great, but like, howdo I bring something like this
into my life?
Ooh,
Lindsey (15:09):
that's a great question.
I'm like the Bible.
Good.
Okay.
But I don't know, take that witha grain of salt.
I could get into so manydifferent topics on that, but
I'm just like, I think it's moreof.
Reading one of those stories andthen finding the metaphor in it
and how it relates to real life,right?
(15:31):
Even today, I think there's alot of relevant stories about
perseverance and overcomingchallenges.
And I think even studies showthat people who have faith in
something live better qualitiesof life.
So it's just, yeah, I'm tryingto think off the top of my head.
I do have a bunch of books andI'm trying to think of titles
(15:52):
now, but I'm put on the spot andI'm just like, Alzheimer's
Tracey (15:56):
I like Deepak Chopra, he has a lot of great books.
One of my favorite books growingup was called The Way of the
Wizard.
It wasn't probably 1 of his moreknown or popular ones, but I
really liked that 1.
The Celestine Prophecy.
That was a good 1 to Mike hadtalked about there's a little
(16:17):
movie on YouTube.
That's based on that book.
But I read the book and the bookwas very good.
The book to me was a lot morepowerful messaging, like a lot
of books in comparison tomovies.
There's lots of podcasts outthere too even Deepak Chopra has
spiritual, like littlemeditations.
They're very short and each ofthem has is intentional and very
(16:40):
specific.
And you can listen to them inthe car on a 10 minute drive.
Those I found really great.
And they just open your mind tothink about more things.
That's what it's all aboutreally, it's a journey.
Like there's no end, I don'tthink.
Like being spirituallyenlightened or whatever that
means.
But, yeah, it's a daily.
(17:02):
Thing to have in your life.
Yeah.
I love the book, the Alchemist.
Oh yeah.
The great book.
I just gave that to my almost18-year-old and Eckhart Toley.
The first one I read is called ANew Earth, but I think the first
introductory book of his wouldbe The Power of Now.
Yeah.
And it's about living inpresence and Yeah.
(17:23):
And the ego.
Lots on the ego, but it's reallygood.
It's an easy read.
That would be my.
go to's for beginner books.
But I still read Eckhart all thetime.
I like that you mentioned thingslike gratitude as a practice.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a spiritual practice.
Yeah.
For sure.
I think the three things you'regrateful for right now.
Lindsey (17:43):
It can be so quick.
Even do it daily.
Like when you wake up, youralarm goes off.
Don't go to your phone rightaway.
I used to do that.
I used to just immediately,first of all, I used to have my
cell phone as my alarm.
So you've got to reach for it toturn it off and then guess what?
It's in your hand and thenyou're in the scroll hole and
what a crappy way to start yourday.
But yeah, just take a deepbreath, sit on the edge of the
(18:04):
bed, think of the three thingsthat you are thankful for,
grateful for, or think of, howyou're going to have a great
day.
Think of that cup of coffee,that's the first thing I think
of, right?
You can enjoy that, think of Idon't know, listen to an audio
book as you're getting ready.
look at yourself in the mirror.
And that's one thing that I cando now that I would just want to
(18:27):
vomit when I did that.
Waking up after a weekend ofbinge drinking and looking in
the mirror just felt likegarbage.
I didn't even want to look atmyself.
I don't think I did, honestly.
I don't even think I was reallylooking.
No, you can see, but you're noteven really looking look in your
eyes and tell yourself threethings about yourself that you
(18:48):
are thankful for or that youlove.
Start your morning like thatwith gratitude, I think is such
an important thing.
You can even write quickly justthree things down on a piece of
paper or in a little book.
Keep it by your bed.
Tracey (19:01):
I was going to say journaling or using
affirmations.
Yes.
Affirmations can be good too.
Kel, coffee is a ritual too.
Absolutely.
It's a spiritual ritual.
My morning ritual is, I love mymorning ritual so much.
And yeah, coffee's the maincharacter.
Lindsey (19:22):
I think just also seek inspiration, surround yourself
with inspirational content,whether you're getting that on
Instagram or books or podcasts,listen, do something like that
for yourself, driving to workand you're going to be, the
drive is hard or it's, long,learn something.
Yeah.
Tracey (19:40):
I agree.
I think inspiration.
Seek inspiration.
Is a big driver.
Yeah.
What did you say, Trace?
I think, I agree.
I think inspiration is a bigdriver.
Yeah.
And do something creative.
like you were saying, like paintor, yeah, I bought a paint by
number.
I started it just before mymove, so I saw it today.
(20:01):
I'm like, oh, I can't wait toget back to this, or
Lindsey (20:03):
no, not the paint by number.
What am I remembering?
Didn't you buy an adult coloringbook?
Yeah.
You do that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah,
Tracey (20:09):
When you quit drinking.
You might not think you're avery creative person and then
you might surprise yourselfbecause I think that's something
you also shut down or block isyour creative energy.
We all have creativity in us,but yeah, we block it I used to
say to myself all the time.
I'm not creative.
Where'd that come from?
I don't know.
Music as a spiritual practice.
(20:31):
Ooh, I love that one.
Music and dancing and singing.
Open your throat chakra.
You need help with that.
And get all that energy out ofyour body, right?
That's what dancing does, justlike exercise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Releasing a lot of physicalenergy.
Shaking off the cobwebs.
Yeah.
(20:52):
running.
I know people that run, that's aspiritual practice running to me
is like a very A typepersonality.
Yeah.
I have never.
I'm just, I'm not an A typeperson, so that is why I've
never ran.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I've talked to runnersbefore and it's that same, body
(21:13):
mind soul spirit connection thatI get on the yoga mat, they get
it when they're out thererunning.
So I can relate.
Do I ever have a desire to tryit out?
I do not.
It's like a ritual.
Yeah.
The people that I know that run.
It is like ritualistic to them.
Lindsey (21:34):
It's about pushing yourself to just when you think
you want to quit or you thinkyou can't, and then you go just
like even 30 seconds more andyou're like, huh, I did it.
Like I could go further.
I could push harder that feelsreally good.
I know I just got a treadmill.
I did my first one yesterday andI'm like, I am sore today, but
(21:57):
what am I going to do?
After this recording, I'mgetting back on it.
I just feel like it's improving,me physically and challenges me
mentally and emotionally becausethere's a lot of emotion that
comes up when you do somethinglike running.
You can get really pissed offand I get sometimes even
irritable or frustrated and youjust have to like work through
(22:18):
that.
And then you're like, okay, Igot through it and I'm still
going, Yeah, resilience.
You're building resilience thatI don't think you're just born
resilient.
You have to build that upbuilding character.
Yeah,
Tracey (22:30):
I have ran before.
And 1 thing I can say is I dothink it definitely helps
mentally clear your mind almostlike walking.
But.
It wasn't my favorite activity.
That's for sure.
It's not something that camenaturally to me either.
It required a lot of work toeven get to say, 5k.
There's so many other physicalactivities that I enjoy so much
(22:53):
better.
Lindsey (22:54):
Yeah, and pick something that resonates with
you, right?
You don't want to
Kelly (22:58):
think to yeah in early days, I was like, oh, my God,
what am I going to do with allthis time?
And I had no idea what I wantedmy hobbies to be or what I was
interested in because I lost allof it.
My hobby was drinking.
So just be curious listen topodcasts, go into, the community
alcohol free groups and thingslike that and see what other
(23:19):
people are doing.
That's how I found the colouringbooks, Linz.
Yeah.
Like I'm like, Oh, that soundsinteresting.
I don't know if I'll like it,but I'll try it.
Cause this person said, just becurious and try out different
things.
Try walking, try running, tryyoga, try treadmills, like
whatever.
Something's going to be like,Hey, this is good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lindsey (23:38):
I never thought of that, how I lost hobbies or
motivation, drinking alcohol wasa total motivation killer.
Yeah.
I didn't want to do anything.
I didn't want to do anything butdrink and eat.
And then the next day I didn'twant to do anything at all.
I just wanted to stay in bed andI just wanted to eat garbage,
Kelly (23:58):
but weren't you shocked by how much extra time you, I
know you were a weekend drinkerweren't you shocked with all the
extra time you had on theweekends?
Lindsey (24:05):
I was actually, because here's the thing, I'm up at 6 or
8 a.
m.
I'm not sleeping till 1 p.
m., and I used to find theweekends would go so fast, so
fast.
They still fly by, but, I'm justlike more mindful about what I'm
doing with my time.
I don't have to accommodate ahangover, right?
That would often dictate what Icould do, right?
(24:28):
Even, I would be so hungoversometimes that I couldn't even
go to the thing that I committedto doing.
the next day, right?
Then I become this person thatbails, doesn't show up for
people.
I couldn't even show up formyself.
So spiritually that's killing meinside because I know that don't
want to be that person, yeah, Iused to do that a lot.
Kelly (24:52):
Yeah.
I was trying to do that at theend.
Yeah, I just found thateverything really opened up for
me when I stopped drinking asfar as my motivation, my
creativity my curiosity again,my willingness and desire to
learn new things and.
Yeah, everything came backtenfold from what I remember
(25:13):
being like, when I was in myearly 20s, trying to explore
life my zest for life just cameback, right?
Yeah, that's such a good way todescribe it.
Yeah, and everything was justlike, everything just opened up.
And with that opening.
I think I really became moreself aware because of all that
openness and all thatinformation and energy from so
(25:37):
many different things is flowingin.
And, you're doing things toincrease that and to be more
intentional and focusing on it.
It's amazing.
Then with all those thingscombined, you just start being
at a higher vibration andfeeling more connected to
(25:57):
yourself and your spirit and.
On a higher path, and I don'tthink it necessarily starts out
amazing like I remember thefirst few weeks of not drinking,
just feeling really agitated andemotional and thinking.
This fucking sucks.
(26:19):
I don't feel good, wasn't likepicking up a Eckhart Tolle book
the first day I quit drinkingand Lindsay, I don't think you
were going to church.
I was not.
Yeah.
It's no, I was in bed.
Like I could barely stand myselfto be in my, this, what is this
life?
And I think I was so exhausted.
When you say I was in bed here'sthe thing, on a Friday after a
(26:42):
long week of work, I would becompletely drained and exhausted
from work, but also the previousweekend's recovery, right?
And I remember feeling so tiredthinking to myself, I just want
to go to bed.
I just want to crawl into mybed.
(27:02):
At eight o'clock PM and go tobed and sleep till eight the
next day.
But what did I do instead?
I went and I got wine.
I was still tired.
I sat up and did stupid thingslike, not that Netflix is
stupid, you're not doinganything meaningful and I'm
staying up for this and I'mpushing myself to stay up later
(27:23):
than I should be staying updrinking.
So now I'm putting this stuffinto my system and now it's two
in the morning.
And I thought to myself before Ijust want to be in bed by eight,
right?
So just perpetually exhausted.
So I think when you said all Iwanted to do was lay in bed when
I first stopped drinking, thatis also what I thought to
(27:46):
myself.
I'm gonna have this time tosleep.
I haven't slept well in so longthat, now I'm like, if I want to
take a nap on a weekend guesswhat?
That's what I'm gonna do.
And if I'm going to bed onFriday at 10 p.
m.
instead of three in the morningbecause I decided to stay up and
listen to music by myself andwatch Netflix and down two
(28:09):
bottles of red wine.
I'm going to go to bed and thenI'm going to wake up the next
day.
And then I'm like, okay, I hadto play catch up basically for
how I treated myself so badlyall those years.
Crazy.
Tracey (28:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's funny.
It's like you made it up withsleep and rest.
I was making it upenergetically.
As soon as I stopped drinking, Iwas like energized.
It's like my energy was low andI was at When you were drinking.
Yeah.
A lower level.
Oh yeah.
And then you're like, Hey,drinking.
Yeah.
So it really suppressed myenergy.
(28:46):
So I've always been a highenergy person.
I used to drive my ex nuts'causeI wouldn't sit down on the couch
for three minutes.
Yeah.
So for me almost instantly, myenergy was increased, but then
it's like, what do I do with allthis energy?
I think for me, there was youthink it's a boredom factor oh,
I'm bored.
What am I going to do now?
(29:07):
Until you figure out what youwant to do and the things you
want to focus on, then you'renot bored anymore.
That's where the creativitycomes from boredom.
And I just want to say, I'vesaid this before on the podcast,
but like something that reallyshook me and shocked me was the
grief that I had to go throughwhile I was in bed.
(29:28):
The grief of losing that bestfriend really hit me hard.
What best friend?
My wine.
So that was pretty shocking andI didn't expect it at all.
So I like to just mention thatwhen we talk about these things
because I'm glad you did saythat because I think we, our
listeners need to hear that.
(29:48):
It isn't all going to berainbows and unicorns when
you're like, okay I'm decidingI'm not drinking starting
tomorrow.
You're going to go through somestuff.
Yeah.
I went through, I didn't gothrough alcohol withdrawal.
I went through sugar withdrawal.
So yeah, I was craving sugarlike crazy and I would, if
anybody goes through that, Iwould just say, just listen to
your body.
Like you can only do one thingat a time.
(30:09):
So eat the Skittles, whatever.
Yeah.
It's three years later and I'mstill going through that Kel
with yourself.
I think for me, it's an all ornothing thing.
I think that's what I figuredout about myself.
I can't moderate sugar, justlike I couldn't moderate
alcohol, I'm just a person thatif those types of things I have
(30:33):
to be all or nothing.
Yeah, so for me, it's justbetter to abstain because then
I'll get to a point where Idon't crave it or don't want it.
And then don't crack from there,because the 2nd, I crack or let
some sugar seep into that littlecrack.
I'm on it.
I'm back on the crack pipe,right?
(30:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're super self aware,Trace.
And yeah, that's, that comeswith cutting out alcohol also is
having that self awareness ofwhat's good for us and what's
not it's like smoking.
I used to smoke, right?
I actually had that experiencewith smoking more than I did
with wine, Kel.
When I quit smoking, I wentthrough a grieving process, like
(31:20):
I had lost my best friend.
Yeah.
So I can totally relate because100 percent I went through that
and I went through like a milddepression.
Yeah.
Lindsey (31:29):
How did you get through that?
I think for me, it was just morethe longer I abstain, the more
it was out of my system andbroke some of those routines up
I did with alcohol as wellbreaking those kind of rituals.
And creating new ones.
It's just time.
It's like time heals all wounds.
They say you just got to giveyourself time.
(31:50):
There's going to be, it's likethe grieving process, you have
to give yourself time andeventually over time, things get
better.
I was the same way withcigarettes.
I couldn't moderate cigarettes.
I couldn't be all of a sudden asocial smoker.
That was never happening for me,so I couldn't do it with
cigarettes.
I couldn't do it with wine.
(32:10):
So shocker.
I can't do it with sugar either,yeah.
Yeah.
And back to the spiritualpractices.
I think the biggest one for meof all has been to learn how to
live in a state of surrender andknow that there's something
bigger than me.
Guiding me and that there isalready a plan and to stop
(32:30):
trying to control everythingbecause that's something that's
still, yeah, that's something Istill, it's a big work in
progress for me is that tryingto control things.
Wow.
Instead of just surrendering andknowing okay, Jesus, take the
wheel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think when you'redrinking, it helps you not give
(32:51):
a shit.
It takes that.
I don't know how to even wordit.
I just remember feelingwhatever.
I don't care for right now.
I'll worry about that tomorrow.
But some more comes and it'sstill there or worse.
And
Kelly (33:08):
yeah.
Yeah, You guys think you drankthen to give up control
temporarily.
I think so alleviate yourselffrom.
Needing or feeling the need tocontrol things, knowing that
while you were drinking, youdidn't care so much yeah.
(33:31):
Probably.
Yeah.
I thought about it that way, butyeah.
It's an escape.
Quiet.
Like quiet the mind.
Yeah.
Lindsey (33:39):
Yeah.
But to see that happensartificially with alcohol,
because you can work on, withoutsubstances actually quieting
your mind.
It's really hard.
It is so hard to sit there insilence and not.
Yeah.
Have your brain.
Kelly (33:53):
Oh, it's got to be impossible.
That's a misconception aboutmeditation.
So you think you're going to sitthere and your mind is going to
be blank.
That's not true.
Yeah, but I feel like it'sactually easier when you're not
drinking.
Because for me, I think drinkingincreased that because of the
anxiety.
Definitely the next day, my mindwas way busier than it is now
(34:19):
because of the increasedanxiety.
I actually think that drinkingmade that worse, constant voice
and things in your head.
The day after?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The next day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just mean while I was drinkingthrough my drinking career, I
definitely had more buzzinggoing on in my head because of
(34:43):
the alcohol and the increasedanxiety.
I find it way easier now to calmthat and control that I can get
myself out of those type of.
Thoughts way easier and quickernow that I'm not drinking
because I'm clear minded.
For sure.
Yeah, I feel like I would alsorespond to things irrationally
(35:06):
and like knee jerk when I wasdrinking alcohol.
If somebody said something to mein person, I would have a
response for it.
And I would probably regret whatI said, but now without alcohol,
you're more mindful,, I'm like,okay, wait 24 hours before you
send that email, or okay, let'sreally process this or just even
(35:27):
not even process it.
Let's just sit with it.
And come back to it tomorrow.
And I think when you drinkalcohol, you don't give yourself
that ability.
You take that ability away toprocess things.
You just make these snap remarksand judgments and opinions about
things.
(35:47):
And you may not even beunderstanding something in the
reality of it.
You have this distorted view ofthings or opinions.
You're reactive.
I was a more reactive person,for sure.
I think not drinking reallyhelps to have control over your
emotions and not be reactive andto be able to take that minute
(36:11):
to think about things or processthings that is very empowering.
Lindsey (36:16):
I love that.
This is a good convo.
I think.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think I would bewhere I'm at six years later
without a strong spiritualpractice.
I think it's important to meanyway.
I think it's all individual,right?
Whatever you find peace inthat's your spiritual practice.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Tracey (36:36):
Yeah.
And whatever you find is guidingyou.
To where you want to be I loveit.
And if you're drawn tosomething, if you're curious
about something, a book or apodcast or a religion or
anything like follow it.
I love that advice.
That's the best advice.
Lindsey (36:54):
All right, everybody.
Thank you again so much fortuning in to the LAF Life
podcast.
And don't forget, you can findus on Instagram at LAF Life
podcast.
And we also have our website,laflifepodcast.
com.
And we'll see you back here nextTuesday with a brand new
(37:15):
episode.
Tracey (37:16):
So until then, you guys know what to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (37:22):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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