Our guest Katey Armstrong comes to us with a unique perspective on living alcohol free. Unlike most of our guests Katey didn't grow up struggling with her relationship with alcohol. Katey was actually only an occasional drinker who never really enjoyed it. What Katey did always struggle with, were the objections she continually got every time she said "No" to drinking. 3 years ago Katey realized there was no real reason for her to continue to consume alcohol, she didn't enjoy it nor did it align with her lifestyle as a health & wellness coach, so she gave it up completely. Katey explains to us how she finally found her voice after years of continuing to say "No" to alcohol. It's no surprise that Katey has found many sober curious people gravitating towards her now, as she is a perfect example of what it looks like to be living an abundantly energetic alcohol free life!
Follow Katey in Instagram https://www.instagram.com/healthyevolutionbykatey/
Check out her website: https://healthyevolution.ca/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelly (00:02):
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsey Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:40):
It's Tuesday and that means a brand new episode of the
LAF Life podcast and today I'mreally looking forward to this
episode because we have awonderful guest that I've been
really excited to speak to andher name is Katey Armstrong and
she is a health and happinesshuman.
(01:01):
How fun is that?
I love it.
So she's a special guest.
She's a speaker, she's awellness coach, she's an
instructor, and if I'm correct,Katie, you've been in the
wellness realm for 30 years,right?
Over 30.
In some capacity?
34.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, this is my 34th year.
That's insane.
(01:21):
I just love it.
You talk a lot about resiliencyand I met you at a work
conference where you were theguest speaker.
And I just remember sitting,listening to you.
And we did it through zoom.
And even though you weren'tthere in person, your energy was
amazing.
And then when I found out thatyou were alcohol free, I was
(01:44):
like, that's it.
I need to ask her to be on thepodcast because the things that
you were saying, your story, Iwas just sitting there and on, I
was like, our listeners need tomeet this.
Incredible woman.
So thank you so much, Katie, forjoining us today.
We're so excited to get to knowyou a little bit better and ask
(02:04):
you some questions and hearabout, your resilience journey,
your wellness journey, and howthat all kind of ties into you
living alcohol free.
So welcome.
Katey (02:15):
Thank you.
What a nice welcome.
Hi, Katie.
Hi.
Hi, Tracey I've been so excitedto meet you too, just from some
of the stuff you've been puttingout on social media, and we love
the energy and the support,yeah, your energy is infectious,
even virtually.
Nice.
Thank you.
I've worked on that the lastthree years, given the whole
(02:36):
world situation and, I run afull business online.
So it's important that I cansend this energy through a
screen now in person is frickingwild.
So I love in person events whenthey happen, but.
Even through a screen, I've beentold that and that's why I've
been continuing to run mybusiness through a screen, even
(02:57):
though the world's kind of allgone back to quote unquote
normal, there's still a largeaudience I have that I'm able to
reach through.
This device right here.
So yeah, we're going to probablygo down a few paths today.
I am so excited.
Lindsey (03:13):
We're super excited.
One of the first things I wantedto talk to you about or ask you
is what's your most.
vivid memory you have of yourfirst encounter with alcohol.
And part two to that question,and I tend to lose track of the
part twos.
So if you need a reminder I'llgive that to you.
Part two to that question is howdo you feel that has shaped your
(03:36):
relationship with sobriety andwellness today.
Katey (03:40):
Okay, so my first vivid encounter with alcohol, oh my
Lord, this is funny and I can'tsay who I was with because I
didn't ask permission, but ifthey listen to this episode, my
friends, I don't know, we wereabout 14, 15, 16, I think 14 ish
and we went and got a big bottleof Jack Daniels and my sister
(04:01):
and her boyfriend at the timehad their own apartment.
So I have a bunch of siblingsand I was able to go.
So I showed up at my sister'splace and we thought we had mix.
We had a giant bottle ofalcohol.
And like a liter of pop, wethought we were like, gonna do
this thing up.
Girl, let's just say we, I thinkshe let us get sick on purpose.
(04:23):
And that was one that was myfirst kind of fun, but really
scared to, and then the oneevent, and this is going to
sound crazy, but.
When I was in high school, earlyish, grade 9, grade 10, a bunch
of us got drunk before a schooldance, and I upchucked to the
(04:44):
floor.
All over at the dance and therewas a bunch of people that were
drunk that night and my mostvivid memory is being in a room
at the high school where theykept us all.
They detained us all shut downthe dance.
The police came.
And I remember being mortifiedwhen my dad walked in because I
knew that I had really,disappointed him.
(05:05):
Then I remember even throughhigh school, just really cutting
back, a lot of people would bepartying.
And I can remember being even aDD as soon as I got my license,
it was almost like, yes, likenow I can be the DD.
So I had a purpose at partiesversus just feeling like a
loser.
And I remember being at partiesand being like the Uber.
(05:26):
Not, I didn't mean Uber.
I meant like Uber as in super,not the Uber.
Okay.
Yeah.
I remember being super cocky,like sitting, drinking a glass
of milk just to prove a point.
I couldn't just sit and have apop.
I was being a bit of a shit andI was like, I'm drinking milk
and I'm having just as much funas the rest of you.
I drank alcohol right up untilthree years ago and then, but
(05:49):
not a lot.
So I was going to share with youguys when I told my children
that I was getting interviewed,I'm like, you guys, I'm getting
interviewed on another podcast.
This is.
Fuckin fun for me.
And I hope you guys can handle Fbombs because they sometimes fly
out of me.
I love it.
I love this opportunity.
And I just want to say thankyou.
This is like soul filling forthis human.
This is exactly what I love todo.
(06:11):
So thank you for theopportunity.
First off, so welcome.
But when I told my kids, I'mlike, I'm being interviewed on
this podcast and it's a livingalcohol free.
And they're like, And what's thebig deal mom, we've been drunk
like five times since we've beenalive and I'm like, they grew up
urging me, they wanted me to getdrunk because I'm pretty funny
(06:32):
human, on the normal life.
And they put alcohol on me.
I was more of a happy let's havemore fun.
Except sometimes I would gooverboard and then I felt
remorse.
I was a bit of a, like a drunkthat then felt guilty for,
whatever.
So I remember one time gettingreally drunk with a good friend
of mine, I was going through abit of a rough patch in life and
(06:54):
she texted me and she's do youneed a hug?
Hug, wine, a visit.
I'm like all three and I didn'teven like alcohol.
So she brought over this wineand I was like barf and I drank
it.
And I got so drunk and then Ithrew up that night and my
daughter, this is when my kidswere big.
My daughter held my hair backand I was in the toilet.
I'm like, Oh my Lord, that waslike around 2016, 2017.
(07:16):
It was a handful of times, likeit wasn't something I did a lot.
And then in around 2021, I justdecided for the amount that I
did do.
I'm like, why do I even fuckingdo it?
I'd rather be done with it.
And I actually can be a reallybig support to those who don't
want it in their life.
I've become, I don't know if youwould call me like an ally or a
(07:38):
friend or a sister in this life,but I definitely know.
That I attract people who areeither sober curious or are on a
sober sobriety journey in mywellness business.
I attract a lot of women.
Now that I am like for realdecided I'm done and for me it
wasn't like, sure a couple ofyears ago when I was married,
(08:01):
went on an all inclusivevacation and I was probably
drunk almost every day cause wepaid for it.
it was ridiculous.
I'm like, getting my money'sworth I'm not gonna lie.
going to leave here, and they'renot going to owe me a dime.
I'm going to drink and drinkthis resort dry.
Exactly.
I paid a lot of money and Iremember, just drinking to
drink.
Very early on though you askedabout how it related to my
(08:24):
wellness.
journey.
Okay.
So I got into wellness young.
Part of it was just out ofdefault.
All my friends were leavinguniversity.
I had just graduated high schooland I was working at Sears.
Do you guys remember Sears?
I remember Sears.
Okay.
I was working at Sears and afriend of mine, Tammy who were
still friends today and we stillare in wellness together.
(08:48):
She said to me, Hey, I'm takinga fitness course to be a fitness
instructor next weekend.
Want to take it with me?
And I was like, sure.
Cause I wanted to feel like Iwas doing something more than
working at Sears.
And I fell in love after thatcourse, that was in 1990 and I
haven't taken my foot off thegas.
Like I've been teaching in somecapacity.
(09:10):
in some way, shape or form for34 years.
Wow.
And it was very early on thatI'm like, this alcohol doesn't
mix.
It's empty calories.
So for me, it was a bit of adeterrent.
Cause I'm like, if I'm going tohave 300 calories in booze or
600 or 800, I'm having fuckingcheesecake.
I'm not drinking alcohol.
Like it was just, for me, thatwas a huge.
(09:32):
In my twenties, I was like, fuckthat, I'd rather eat food than
drink this shit.
And then when I had children, itwas another big anchor, let's
say.
Cause like I'm in a mom, thesechildren, and I was partnered
sometimes with unreliablepeople.
And so I was like their numberone and I'm like, what's that
(09:53):
going to be like if they're sickin the middle of the night and
I'm drunk and I can't take themto the hospital.
So shit like that crossed mymind and I don't know.
My oldest boy Jack.
He said mom like you've probablybeen drunk five times and
they're probably right yeah, Ijust didn't really want it and
I'm gonna tell you something candance I can really dance like me
and my best friend.
We would dance on dance floors.
People thought we were pissedAnd we were both like so sober,
(10:16):
and it's funner when you'resober.
And then when the night's done,it's done.
Like I hated after parties soTracey in Manitoba, we have
socials.
Do you have socials in Ontario?
Tracey (10:26):
I'm sure we have something similar.
What is a social?
Katey (10:30):
A social is like a dance where you drink and party and
have fun, but you can have drysocials as well.
But I would go to I guess wetones.
Yeah.
Are they called wet?
So we would go to socials anddance and we would be Like the
ones on the dance floor, I wasnever someone that had to be
like, Oh, wait till I have afew, then I'll go dance.
(10:51):
I was like, fuck that.
I'm not wasting that good song.
I'm going to go dance now.
And I didn't care.
So I'm very lucky that I had abit of a, don't give a shit
attitude.
I love that.
Not always.
I'll be straight.
Yeah, not always.
There was some situations when Iwould be in them and I really
hated intimate gatheringsbecause then people ask you yeah
(11:13):
oh, why don't you drink and I'mlike, yeah, I can ask you why
you do like I write I don't youknow when my youngest one he
played hockey and I rememberbeing on a hockey trip And I was
the mom that packed her own foodand worked out in her hotel.
I went to the games and shit,like I cheered him on, but it
wasn't all my life.
I had life and he had his lifeand we watched hockey or he
(11:36):
played hockey.
I watched we had that, but Iremember that being a big thing,
parents partying and I ofteneither wouldn't go party with
them or I would go and sit andhave a pop and I remember being
asked Hey, why don't you justhave one or two or, what would
you say?
Sometimes I wouldn't sayanything.
And sometimes I would say, youknow what?
I don't knock on your door atsix 30 and ask you to work out
(11:57):
with me.
So like you do you, and I'mgoing to do me and we're good.
Wow.
We're just good.
I don't need to, I once had akid ask a kid on the hockey
team.
How come you don't drink likethe other parents?
No, you didn't.
I did.
10 years old.
Oh my God.
I'm like.
Do I fucking punch him out nowor do I punch the parents?
Punch the parents out, for sure.
(12:18):
Also, why?
Like, why is it?
It's like the conferences, thehockey tournaments, where
everybody goes on the road andthey've got their tumblers with
their booze, and oh my god, it'ssuch a drinking culture.
We are in a drinking culture Iwould listen to an episode that
you guys shared a while back.
I've been trying to listen tothem and catch up and get to
know you guys a little bitbetter before coming here and
(12:41):
you talked about the mommy wineculture.
And I don't know if I heard itfrom you guys or another, and
it's so degrading that we womenor whoever, Would say, this is
my mommy juice or whatever.
Meaning like we can't do lifewithout it.
Are we inadequate that we needfucking alcohol to parent?
That's so sad, but then itbecomes trendy.
(13:03):
Ellen DeGeneres, okay tV showlady.
How many times, if you watch hershow.
She would reference alcohol allthe time.
I never noticed that.
Oh, if you go back and watch it.
Yeah.
You'll pick it up now if youwatch old episodes, but there's
so much of it and I was justlike, God it's everywhere.
It's thirsty.
Thursdays, like these things,fishbowl Fridays.
(13:25):
Yeah.
And I think it's an escape.
It's disempowering and it isthere.
I took a lot of criticism.
So I have to share with you whenI was invited here, I was a
little bit like.
apprehensive because I'm like, Idon't have a sober journey.
I didn't know what I was cominghere for, to be honest.
Okay.
And then I was chatting with aniece of mine and she's allowing
(13:47):
me to share her journey here.
Alyssa, I love you.
And if you hear this, I am soincredibly proud of my niece.
Who's in her early thirties.
She's over.
I'm going to lose track, but Ibelieve August is her two year.
And yeah, Alyssa, I know.
And I've been able to be herauntie that has been able to be
(14:11):
there through the really shittytimes and then through this
journey as well.
And it was a couple of weeks agoI made a reel and I found a real
sound that suited my feelingsbecause.
I've taken a lot of hits beingthe non drinker.
I've taken a lot of ignorantcriticism and I've had to defend
(14:32):
myself numerous times, like morethan I can count getting older.
Now I am like, you don't haveany right to talk to me like
that.
I will stand up to myself now,but in my twenties and thirties,
I heard so many, why don't you,why don't you, you're a loser.
All of it.
And she said to me, you haveevery right to be on that show,
(14:55):
this show.
They need to hear you.
You've taken more of a hitbecause I took it from her and
my kids when they were younger,they were mom.
They just wanted me to drink it.
They just wanted to, theythought it was like.
I don't know what, I think theywere just curious to see me in
that capacity and then they sawit a couple of times, but
(15:15):
literally a couple of times andnever when they were little,
either I did it when they werelittle and I just had like good
babysitters overnight, theynever got to see it.
The few times that I did do it,I just felt like shit after, so
then why bother?
Because of my lifestyle too,they just didn't go together.
However, it goes with a lot ofpeople.
(15:36):
They work out all week, they eatall the healthy things and then
they drink all weekend long andthen they start again on Monday
and they wonder why they feellike shit for three days.
Lindsey (15:45):
That used to be me.
I was doing the green smoothies.
I was working out.
I was going to the gym five daysa week.
I looked like shit.
I felt like shit and I wasgaining weight.
I was super puffy.
Yeah.
And I was also drinking to thepoint of blocking out, but I was
alone when I drank.
And I was isolating myselfbecause I didn't feel good about
(16:07):
myself.
I think listening to you speak,you were so confident and you
were really somebody who like,I'm going to go out on the dance
floor and dance.
I don't give a shit if peopleare like, Oh my God.
I feel like when I was in mytwenties, I didn't have that
confidence.
And I felt that alcohol was.
something external that wasgoing to give that to me.
(16:30):
We call it liquid courage,right?
Exactly.
And then I would do ridiculousstuff and make really poor
decisions.
So instead of buildingconfidence, it ended up doing
the opposite.
And it ended up Making me feelalone, small, embarrassed,
ashamed, and it was just thisvicious cycle.
(16:51):
So I just think that people,need to hear your perspective
because you're this pillar ofWellness and you have this
holistic approach right now,it's trending to mix alcohol and
wellness.
You're seeing yoga events pairedwith wine.
Katey (17:07):
You're seeing memes sent right time.
Yeah.
And I don't even like themanymore.
I don't mix.
People send me them and you'reright, I heard you saying that
one gym offers shots on Fridaysor something.
And I'm like, I have to admitthough, because I take a pre
workout and I was thinking aboutthis all week.
(17:27):
Okay, all the good fucking dadsongs all talk about drinking
and partying and getting shitfaced And I'm like we need more
songs that are just like thatbut without the alcohol So like
I like this song by pink raiseyour glass.
Do you know that song?
But does she talk about whatshe's in her class?
Maybe she doesn't she just saysraise your glass We assume it's
(17:49):
alcohol.
Isn't that sad?
You know that song I think it'sby, I don't know who, that
Shots.
Shots! Shots! Shots! You knowthat song?
I have a video of myself doingthat with energized, like my pre
workout.
Love that.
But, I don't know is it stillpromoting alcohol like even if
it's a shot of and I don't knowI just think that I like to have
(18:11):
fun without it Now I'm almost 53years old and I don't know It's
a whole another chapter comingalong, menopause, do you guys
know that there's more link ofalcohol, the damage that this
does to you, cardiovascular andfor your brain health is the one
of the greatest, it's acarcinogen.
(18:32):
So people are just drinking itand it's so glamorized and it's
poison.
Yeah, but it's so beautifullywrapped and it tastes amazing
but so is a chocolate bar,right?
Beautifully wrapped.
Tastes great.
So it's a whole lot of shit thathas to take place.
Sometimes go way off topic, but
Tracey (18:53):
I just wanted to say Katie that you're definitely a
unique guest for us because wedo normally have guests that
struggled with theirrelationship with alcohol and
are coming from having some sortof sobriety journey.
But I think you're coming from aperspective that people need to
hear too, and the perspectiveyou're coming from is also
(19:14):
inspiring and encouraging forthose people that want to find
the confidence, or even thosepeople out there that currently
are doing the same thing as you,saying no to alcohol because
they don't really dig it.
And they're getting the pushbackor they're getting, the negative
responses.
So I think you're a good exampleof how you're responding to
(19:37):
those things and how you'retreating that type of scenario.
Also just showing as part ofwellness that you're not
encouraging that type ofbehavior.
Why you made the choices assomeone in wellness, not to do
it and that you came to theconclusion, you're speaking to
those occasional drinkers outthere when you came to the final
(19:59):
conclusion to say, why bother atall?
I can not do it and feel muchbetter.
And I can not do it and becauseI've made that absolute choice
that I am not doing that.
I can be an absolute rock to theclients that I have, to the
family members that I have thatdon't want to do this anymore.
Friends that don't want to doit.
(20:21):
And I have to just put this outbecause if anyone's listening, I
don't give a shit.
If you are, if you're a user andyou love it and you're living a
great life, I don't judge.
I don't judge people.
Everyone's entitled to livetheir own life.
But where I am done is notstanding up for myself.
I love that.
Oh,
Katey (20:41):
But anyways, back to the menopause and our health.
Because our health is soimportant, because I've been in
this industry for so long, and Ialso work your listeners can
I'll share a little bit aboutwhat I do.
For sure.
I work during the day.
I work at a retirement home so Iwork with clients that are 65 to
100 maybe I've got one or two ora hundred and one ish.
(21:02):
And so I can see the long termeffects of how we live, okay,
play out further.
And I've been working in thatdemographic for about 15 years.
And so I see that, okay.
So I see that what's that
Lindsey (21:16):
the first hand experience.
Yeah, like I see it every day.
I see it every day.
Aging population.
Yes.
And so when I look at say peoplein their twenties, thirties,
forties and fifties and I'vebeen working so much on trying
to help other people getstronger and put some good
nutrients in their body.
And I'm not perfect.
I am so not, I run really greatgroups and programs there for
(21:40):
that basic person that justwants it basic and easy.
Nothing too complicated becauseit just isn't who I am.
I've gotten this far on a realkind of basic duplicatable path
and alcohol now because I'mlearning so much about menopause
and how it's gonna make anylisteners, if you have
perimenopause menopausesymptoms.
(22:02):
They're going to multiple, notmultiply whatever it's going to
exacerbate those symptoms.
They're going to be worse.
If you're drinking and yeah, andyour long term, your cardiac
health, your brain health, thisis all impacting it.
And so I'm biohacking man.
I want a long health span.
I want to live well, long, likeI want to live full and well, I
(22:26):
don't want to just be like in achair and people roll me around
from room to room, sad.
And do you guys know how earlyit starts to decline?
like mobility decline in yourearly sixties.
Oh my god.
That's young.
Katey (22:41):
But it's when it starts.
So it starts there.
This lifestyle It's nowsomething I'm really conscious
of.
So like I drew the line in thesand, I think partly cause I
just was like, why bother?
And again, I could be more of asupport and an ally to others.
If I'm just that person.
I've had a few really greatfriends reach out to me.
(23:05):
that have decided to stop.
And they shared with meintimately how addicted they
were, but they didn't have thecourage to tell me some of my
clients that would even joke atme make fun of me.
Do you even have fun?
I get that a lot.
Do you even have fun?
I'm like, do you even spend timewith me?
I fun on fucking Wednesdays.
(23:25):
You people only have fun onFridays and Saturdays.
I have fun on Tuesdays.
I.
Don't need Friday to have a goodtime.
Tracey (23:34):
I don't know how anybody could question if you're having
fun or not.
Exactly.
You exude fun.
Katey (23:40):
It gets challenged, like when I'm out socially
Tracey (23:43):
people think they need it.
That's more about them than itis about you.
I just want to go back to themenopause thing for a moment
because I'm in menopause.
So I've been doing a lot ofresearch as well on it.
And I just recently heardsomething that was very shocking
to me, too, that our tolerancefor alcohol is less during
menopause.
Katey (24:02):
Absolutely.
Tracey (24:04):
So that's another thing for people to be conscious of
and be aware of because the wayyou're processing it is not the
same.
Yep.
When your hormones start tochange.
And also if you care about yoursleep and your quality of sleep,
and that's something that startsto deteriorate through
perimetopause, metapause, postmetapausal, goes on for a long
(24:25):
time.
Yeah.
If you're drinking.
That is detrimental to yoursleep.
I've heard people say you'rebasically making the decision
between having a glass of wineand getting a good night rest.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm super excited thatyou touched on that because that
speaks to me and the phase oflife I'm in, but I'm just so
thankful that I stopped drinkingbefore I started this phase of
(24:49):
life.
Yes, because I know that mysymptoms and what I've been
going through would have beenway worse if I was still
drinking.
Katey (24:56):
Absolutely.
Yeah,
Lindsey (24:58):
I'm just listening to you talk, Katie, and you said
something that sort of sparkedsomething in me.
Do you know how long I wasactually just super done with
drinking alcohol?
Before I actually quit the finaltime, two years.
Yeah.
But I would continue to consumeit because I didn't have any
(25:18):
other coping mechanisms.
So I feel like if I had somebodylike you in my life, even
following you on Instagram orworking with you, having you as
a wellness coach, you'resomebody that would inspire
people to.
Ditch it earlier, before theywere even ready because you are
(25:39):
just so aligned with wellnessand health and just living life
and a quality of life, living itto the fullest.
And.
Alcohol just doesn't fit in.
Like I tried so hard to keep it.
I was like, oh, okay, maybe it'sthis cupcake that I eat or, oh,
it's, I'm not getting reallygreat sleep.
My wonder why I'll start takingsleeping pills.
(26:02):
Let's, I'll go to the doctor,I'll get the sleeping pills.
And I'll do that because thenthat'll help me sleep better,
but I'll still binge drink onFriday night and then be hung
over all weekend.
I was so done and sick ofmyself, but I didn't have the
courage to give it up because Iwas so afraid of what would be
left, who I was without it, howwould I deal with life?
(26:23):
How would I deal with setbacks?
And I didn't know.
So I feel like, somebody likeyou could teach people.
This is how you can navigatelife, living it to your best and
living it to the fullest.
And you don't need thissubstance to do it.
Yeah.
I hear what you're saying.
I know that there's this partinside of me that I'm like, I
(26:46):
never really liked it.
So that was part of it.
Like I didn't get to that place,I would love to say, yes, I can
really help people because, butI don't know what that feeling
is
Tracey (26:57):
It's interesting that you never really liked it, but
you obviously still felt thepressure to do it.
Yeah.
Still made the choice ordecision, even speaking of an
all inclusive vacation.
Exactly what you said.
How many people are boozingthemselves to death on vacation
because they're paying for itand then how are they really
(27:18):
Enjoying the experience of theirvacation after getting drunk
every day, because they feel theneed to, because they're paying
for all inclusive.
Exactly.
If you think of that experiencealone, yeah, it's crazy that
people will put themselvesthrough that just because it's
something that they paid for,regardless of whether they
(27:39):
really enjoyed it or not and notexpensive vacation that they're
paying for.
Is like a big blur because theyspent the whole time drunk.
Did they really have fun andwhat parts of it did they
remember?
Katey (27:51):
Yeah, it is.
It's something that like I said,I've done it and I don't even
desire a hot vacation.
I know this sounds crazy, butlike I've created such a life.
That I really just and it'staken me a minute.
I'm so happy that we're heretoday chatting together because
I moved to Winnipeg one year agoand it wasn't easy for me.
(28:12):
And there's absolutely probablyno way that.
We would have even met Lindsayuntil the timing was right.
And I'm so glad we met when wemet because I've been able to
curate a good life for myselfhere now, but it took time and
it took me putting in the work.
That's one thing I will sharewith listeners as I don't care,
give a shit what you're tryingto do, what you're trying to
(28:34):
heal or fix or change.
You have to do the work.
Nobody's coming to do it for youand you have to take absolute
responsibility for yourself.
And when you do, it's empoweringas fuck, but you've got to do
it.
I can't expect my children to dolife for me, my friends, my
colleagues or clients, I'm theonly one.
(28:57):
And your listener are the onlyone.
So if you're hearing thislistener, you have got to do it.
You've got to do the research.
You've got to put down thebottle.
You've got to do the work andit's not easy work.
So I've been living one year nowalone.
She's my only roommate.
So I've had this year of a lotof solitude, a lot of alone time
(29:20):
to do a lot of thinking andthings that are coming to me.
Some of them are going to beturning into workplace
presentations like I've donewith Lindsay's group.
When you learn a skill andreally get good at it, you can
then teach it.
To others, that's part of whereI want to go with this journey I
don't talk a lot about livingalcohol free, but the couple of
(29:43):
times I've shared about it, andI will be now, I feel like I've
ripped the bandaid off.
I will be helping others.
So the couple times I have, Ican't believe how many people.
Have either wrote me privatelyor commented.
I'm so happy you shared this.
I don't like it either or yougive a voice to somebody that's
not ready to shout it out.
(30:04):
Yes I'm just so happy I'm heretoday with you guys.
Cause like I said, a year ago, Icouldn't say that I wouldn't
want a Mexico vacation.
And I'm not saying listen,listeners, if someone wants to
give me a vacation, I'll takeit, but I'm not like.
I don't hate my life that I needto go escape and not that people
hate their life.
(30:24):
I'm not saying that, but I trulylove my day to day.
But I really, I like the classesI teach.
I like the interactions I have.
I have.
Really good friends that I chatwith.
I don't see them a lot here, butI've really created a life in
this space and without alcohol,without drugs, and it doesn't
(30:47):
make me better.
I don't feel better than anyone.
I'm just here for myself.
I'm better for me so that I canbe like, I walked into work
today.
And I'm like walking, I'm fullof energy.
And one of the guys, our busdriver, he's man, you're always
like that, aren't you?
And I said I fill my cup beforeI get here.
And he's what?
I said, I fill my cup before Icome and see you guys.
(31:10):
I said, I wake up and I primemyself to come here.
I don't just show up.
I like wake up two to threehours before I go to work so
that I am ready to pour intoothers.
And Instead of just showing upempty cup feel like shit hate my
job hate my life, and there wastimes I did hate my life so I
had to make changes, but it'staking that full responsibility.
(31:31):
I think that's a big word thatpeople They we want to blame we
just do.
And I think it boils down to whowe surround ourselves with and
not just people, but like theplaces we frequent how we live,
our surroundings your reality.
I read somewhere that yourpersonal reality becomes your
personality.
(31:51):
And so if you're surroundingyourself with toxic shit,
whether it's input, I always saythis, you can go to the gym, you
can eat the good food, you cantake the vitamins, but if you're
still not taking care of thisupstairs.
What's the point?
What's the point?
So I've had to do a lot of thework in my head in the last five
years, like a lot of work I'velived in my head for a few years
(32:14):
now.
And it's hard.
It's dark sometimes, but it'salso everything starts in the
dark, right?
That eventually blooms.
So
Lindsey (32:22):
You did this what dirty water Yes.
Demonstration.
Yeah.
At the presentation I was atwhere you were speaking, and I
want you to tell our listeners alittle bit about that and what
the point of that was, becausethe illustration of what you
were saying at the time, youactually doing it, that blew my
(32:43):
mind.
That was the first time I hadever heard that.
And I was like, Okay, this isawesome.
Yeah, tell our listeners, I'lltry to explain it and it's
something that I turn to a lotand I turned to it before I saw,
ever saw that illustration Andthen I'm like, Oh my God, this
is amazing.
So what you do is when you thinkabout life, you think of your
life as a nice tall glass ofwater.
(33:06):
And in that tall glass of wateris all the goodness of life.
The good health, good energy,all the goodness is in this cup,
you have a glass.
And then all of a sudden, I tossa little bit of dirt in the cup
and I swirl it around.
And the dirt is like thedisappointments, the failed
marriages, the, I have pluralanyways different things like.
People cutting you off intraffic bad diagnosis, like
(33:28):
really serious stuff is thedirt.
Sometimes even when I moved hereinto this apartment, I focused
on everything wrong with it.
Everything.
I was just picking at the dirt.
And so as I was picking at thedirt and trying to get the dirt
out of the cup, out came all thegoodness out of the cup as well.
And the illustration is.
(33:48):
If I could pour more goodnessin.
So then I took a pitcher ofwater and I poured more water in
till my cup was overflowing andsoon almost all the dirt was
gone.
So whatever you focus onexpands.
So if I'm going to sit there andpick and pick, so when I moved
into this apartment, it wasunder a bit of a tough time in
(34:08):
my life.
And I remember.
Being in this place and my bestfriend, Tammy, the one I took
the fitness course with in 1990,we're still friends.
We were on the phone and shesays, Katie, go find some water.
That's all she had to say to me.
Oh, on the second day that Imoved in here and I went for a
walk and I walked down to theend of my road and I found water
(34:32):
like an actual river and I'mlike, holy shit by river is five
minutes away.
And then I walked back, I walkedinto my building and my neighbor
across the hall, she came at mea little bit like aggressively I
won't say the C word, but shewas actual a C word.
And thank God I went and sawthat water because I handled her
(34:53):
very well and I just basicallyput her in her place.
And we have not spoken a wordsince because she was very out
of line.
She was trying to tell me whatlight fixtures I should use in
here.
She was telling me the fan wasgoing to make too much noise in
the hallway.
And so she was my dirt.
And if I allowed to just pick atthat and focus on only her, I
would have never stayed livinghere.
(35:15):
And now I leave the fan onwhenever I feel like it.
And it's really loud in thehallway.
But the moral of this littlestory is the more you can focus
on the good that's in your lifeand add to it, listeners, let's
say you got a lot of shit goingon and you had a lot of dirt in
your cup.
If you can start finding onething.
Even adding to the cup, maybeyour cup, you feel like, Oh my
(35:38):
God, I can't add one more thing.
Add three minutes of breathing.
into your day.
It doesn't have to be a hugething.
Go do a wash, load, fold, andput away.
You'll feel like a fucking boss.
If you do all four of thosesteps, you're going to feel
accomplished.
And as you do another win andanother little win and another
(35:59):
little, they start stacking andthat's where you get confidence
from.
From the stacking those wins.
And they don't have to be bigthings.
They can be little things, butback to that illustration.
Sorry, I get a littlesidetracked.
The moral of that story is wecould run through our whole life
picking at the dirt, or we canadd nice fresh water instead.
(36:19):
There's always going to be somedirt, our lives are not perfect.
The less we focus on the thingswe can't control.
Things we can't change.
When I was in my first marriage,relationship, marriage,
whatever, the father of mychildren, I'll just say that I
went to counseling for a goodcouple of years before ending.
And I remember sitting in heroffice one time and she said to
(36:42):
me, Katie, you can't changeanybody.
You can't change what they say.
You can't change what they do.
All you can do is act.
And I've taken that with me inso many situations where you
want to be able to changesomething and you can try and
get help as a couple orwhatever.
But if things are.
(37:02):
I can't change that person.
And so many times now had tobuild up my own self again.
And now I'm 52 and I don't knowthat I meant to be coupled with
someone.
I just don't putting that out tothe universe world.
And I don't give a shit.
Like I, I don't need that.
I don't know yet where that isgoing to go, but I know that I
(37:27):
really love my career.
I love what I do each day and Iput my career right now.
I, probably a lot of people say,Oh, you don't, you love your
kids.
I love my children, but they aregrown adults and have lives.
So I had to find a new love formy day to day here.
Empty nest.
Oh, it has not been my favorite.
(37:48):
favorite season of life.
And so this year was my fullfirst year of empty nest and
I've had to recreate parts of mycareer and pour what I need
anyways, going a little all overthe map.
I just love it.
Cause I feel like that.
If somebody is struggling withalcohol and using it as a
(38:08):
substance to cope.
This is relevant.
Focusing on the good things,focus on adding things in
instead of taking things away.
We look at not drinking as apunishment, as something being
taken away from our life, butinstead change your mindset and
focus on what you can add in tomake your life better.
(38:28):
I think it's with all things.
I'm just going to say this withalcohol, with finances, with
nutrition, with exercise,there's always this okay, the
word discipline, when you thinkof a five year old, And you're
disciplining them for puttingcrayons on the wall or something
like that.
It's called discipline.
Hey, you don't do that.
(38:49):
Here, use the paper.
We redirect them, whatever.
The word responsibility we shyaway from that word.
Who's going to be responsible?
I'm running right now a foodgroup in a, about four days.
And it's called food focus.
I hear so much in the worldright now in the Instagram world
and all of this stuff.
Everyone wants freedom, foodfreedom.
They just want to eat what theywant and feel good.
(39:11):
Guess what?
If you don't get a littlefocused for a little while, then
that freedom comes withfinances.
Same thing.
Some people might want to reducetheir alcohol maybe some want to
remove it.
The other pillars of life, wecan live without alcohol,
people, but you can't livewithout food, and you can't live
(39:32):
without exercise, and you needsome form of income.
But alcohol is the one variablein this.
equation that you could actuallyeliminate and live.
The other ones are quite trickyto manage because if you have a
food addiction or an unhealthaddiction, like people get
addicted to not doing things intheir life.
And so I work with old peopleand yesterday one member got
(39:57):
upset in my group.
And she was talking down toherself, and this little 93 year
old woman said to me, shedoesn't mean to say that about
herself.
Nobody would choose to talk tothemselves that way.
There must be something wrong.
93 years old, and then she says,She said this, she's very, she
(40:19):
comes to every activity I run.
She goes, it's just likeexercise, people don't choose to
not do this for whatever reason,something inside of them tells
them not to go.
Like it was so profound.
I feel like I'm talking about alot of things, but when it comes
to All of those things.
So nutrition, fitness, exercise,mobility, whatever you want to
(40:42):
call it, your word for it,finances and alcohol.
We tend to talk about the, wegive the negative all the glory.
And then the positive we call itpunishment.
Oh, I have to go to the gym.
Oh, I better go to the gym.
And I'm not someone who, I don'tlove exercise.
(41:03):
Like I've conditioned myself toit.
It's part of what I am.
I brush my teeth.
I comb my hair.
I actually exercise more than Ibrush my hair.
Katey (41:13):
Anyways, it's just, I think that life, sometimes the
things that, you know aren't thebest for us do get glamorized
and unfortunately it's going totake a long time to make the
switch, but I have listened tosome of your episodes and there
is definitely more of a upswingright now of people that are
removing alcohol and a lot offamous people that are coming
(41:35):
out that always helps, right?
When they decide to share thatthey're no longer using and
Tracey (41:41):
I'm just having a delayed thought here about what
you were saying there.
Because it's so true, you'reright.
Why do we see everything that'sgood for us as a punishment?
We do.
And then we're glamorizing allthe shit that's bad for us.
Katey (41:56):
Yeah, it's like discipline
Lindsey (41:58):
and motivation.
Anything that requiresdiscipline is bad, is a
punishment.
Tracey (42:03):
Yeah we've talked very often about the idea and the
fact that alcohol or even food,for example, is a reward.
Doing these bad things arereward, but it's a complete
contradiction because you'rerewarding yourself with these
bad things after you're doingsomething good for yourself.
Yeah, but yeah, the same goesfor what you were saying.
(42:25):
I've never thought of it thatway.
But what you said is
Katey (42:29):
I've studied it for a long time, right?
I've been studying habits.
I've been studying people and Ialso follow And watch a lot of
accounts.
So if I post a a post about abootcamp I'm running or
something like that four peoplelike it.
And then if I post somethingabout my dog humping my leg, a
thousand people like it, there'ssomething that people don't want
to acknowledge things sometimesTaking responsibility is hard.
(42:53):
It's not easy.
Sometimes when you're forced,like I've been forced into
responsibility because when youbecome a person like for me I've
decided to live my life on myown.
I had to take my health into myown hands.
I had to do research for my ownself and.
I talk to a lot of people workonline all over the place that
(43:13):
it's so easy to just say, Oh,I'll just do it tomorrow.
I'll just get to it tomorrow.
And there's some things I putoff until tomorrow.
And then there's a lot of thingsthat I'm like, just get her
done.
Just get her done.
And it goes back to stackingthose wins and it just feels
good it gives me a little bit ofa confidence boost when I get it
done.
And I also.
Something like cleaning mykitchen before going to bed at
(43:35):
night.
I love waking up to my kitchennice and clean, even though I'm
only by myself.
It's still nice.
I want to do it for me.
I'm not doing it for anyoneelse.
Just doing it for myself.
Lindsey (43:46):
The environment you create, right?
And I think action, people thinkthat they need to feel
motivated.
To do the thing, but it's theaction that creates the
motivation.
A hundred percent.
We're motivated when we'remotivated.
Okay.
So that's a word I don't usewith my classes.
I am like, you will not alwaysbe motivated, but you can work
(44:09):
with momentum, but momentum canroll both ways.
So you can be like, I tell myparticipants and anyone
listening, if you don't.
Want to move your body or dowhatever the thing is, first
start by having your workoutclothes ready to go.
Have them piled, just pile themfor a month.
Don't even worry about workingout.
(44:30):
Just get that consistent habitof my workout clothes are
sitting there.
Good.
Now get them on your body.
Okay.
So you woke up 30 mornings in arow and you put your workout
clothes on, then you're going tobuild the next step.
Of moving your body and buildslowly.
I say this all the time,consistency over any other, like
(44:50):
I could give a client thehardest, most grueling workout,
but if they're not going to comeback and do it another two or
three times that week, what'sthe sense?
Like we just can't do that.
It's the same with nutrition.
We can't eat one salad and oneprotein shake and be like, Hey,
I'm good.
But we expect that we expect it.
And that's just the way it is.
(45:12):
motivation, is only there whenyou're motivated, when you're
motivated, things are rolling,things are good.
And then you have a day whereit's not good.
And then what you got nomotivation.
It's not going to get you going,action, take action.
And sometimes you don't want to,that's when the support system
helps.
Someone you can text, call,whatever.
(45:32):
Like I run groups and if peopleare like, okay I'm not feeling
it.
Just pop into the group.
If they popped in and said, Idon't feel like doing my workout
today.
10 people are going to say, comeon, let's go.
Let's do it, and I
Tracey (45:43):
think that's where consistency comes in.
Katey (45:45):
Yeah, and just having accountability, like you girls,
ladies I sometimes say girls orladies, it's all the same, but
you guys have each other on thisjourney, right?
Isn't that lovely that you havethat?
It's neat when you can find yourpeople.
In whatever you're trying toaccomplish.
Yeah.
I think community is a reallygood thing and connection.
Tracey (46:07):
That's been huge for us for sure.
I think Lindsay would agree withme in the sense that.
That I had no idea this bigcommunity exists before we
started this podcast.
And it is an amazing, supersupportive community.
So it's been mind blowing toexperience that.
Absolutely.
And I just want to say again,Katie, that I think that you are
(46:32):
a perfect example for people ofliving a great alcohol free
life.
It's not shocking to me thatpeople looking to potentially
give up.
alcohol would gravitate towardsyou when I was looking to give
up.
alcohol I definitely would havegravitated towards you.
I ended up with a partner thatdidn't drink.
And I think that was.
(46:53):
Unconsciously because of where Iwas trying to take my life and I
think I probably gravitatedtowards him because he didn't
drink.
And it was the total oppositeexperience of my previous
relationship.
And I admired the fact that hedidn't drink because there was a
(47:13):
time I wasn't a drinker and Irecognized a lot of my older
self in him.
So I can totally see why peoplewould gravitate towards you.
And that's why I think you'vebeen an amazing guest for us to
have on the podcast, regardlessof the fact that you haven't had
a sobriety journey per se.
(47:35):
You're just an inspiration andwellness and making that
decision and being confident init.
Also, teaching those casualdrinkers how to tackle those
situations where people arepressuring them or keep
questioning why they're notdrinking.
Lindsey (47:51):
Katie, I wanted to ask you a question to close us off.
And you touched a little bit onit.
I could see how my questionrelates to the things that you
just said, but as a wellnesscoach And doing your groups,
what strategies would yourecommend for our listeners who
want to embrace an alcohol freelifestyle or cut back, but they
(48:14):
struggle with societal pressureor social situations?
Katey (48:20):
I'm just going to share a recommendation and work on
yourself, period, because as youwork on yourself and you do
things that build yourconfidence, you will grow the
strength that you need in thosepressures.
Cause you're going to have morethan just alcohol pressures in
life.
So for instance, when I'mteaching class last night, we
were in the middle of a hardexercise.
(48:40):
And I said to them, we are goingto do this hard together so that
when you're in your next boardmeeting and you want to stand
up, you're going to have thestrength to come here.
And when you're in a situationand you want to have that
strength, we're going to bethere with you.
I'm not saying that we replaceone thing with the other.
So for 10 years, I didn't evenshare this part for 10 years.
(49:03):
I worked in an addictionsrehabilitation center.
So the AFM, have you ever heardof that addiction foundation of
Manitoba?
So I worked for them for 10years.
Wow.
Yeah.
I taught fitness classes.
Two mornings a week.
And I would often say we're nottaking an addiction and making
another addiction.
Like we don't want to replace,but lifestyle has to change and
(49:26):
period.
So if you're going to changethat lifestyle.
From a drinker, maybe you don'twant to your friend group might
change and that might be thecase your tolerance is gonna
change you might no longerreally want to tolerate Certain
behaviors because you're justnot there anymore And you might
(49:49):
take a hit because your friendsmight think you're better than
them or whatever so if you workon yourself and I'm a big
believer in that I've beenworking on my own self for a
long time and when I'm goingthrough a really tough time, I
double down on it like and how Ido self work, I listen to
(50:10):
podcasts that are good for mybrain and not just podcasting.
Rah, like you go girl.
Like I listened to some of that,but then I listened to like real
thought, how my brain isthinking and processing and food
and getting enough sleep andhaving good humans in my life.
Laughter.
I didn't realize, like you guyscall your podcast LAF life.
(50:32):
Is that what it's called?
So like the word laugh, I justlove it.
Totally.
Yes.
Totally.
I laugh a lot and I do.
And so finding the right peoplethat you vibe with, I wrote on
this little note in my gym here,like you vibe or it's bye, like
vibe or bye.
(50:52):
If I don't vibe, I'm not gonnaspend a lot of time in a certain
space.
I think no matter what you'retrying to change in your life,
your health, your finances, yourthought processes, whatever it
is, it has to start from within.
And it goes back there everytime too, whenever I'm in a
crossroads or something'schallenging me.
(51:15):
It always has to go inside andit's the hardest place to go.
It's dark.
It stirs up a lot of stuff, butit's the only place you're going
to be able to get to the truth.
Lindsey (51:24):
Geez, you're amazing, Katie.
If our listeners are vibing withyou.
Where can they find you onsocial media so that they can go
and follow you and listeners youneed to follow Katie Yes to see
her reels and her stories.
She's amazing.
So where can people find youkatie?
Katey (51:42):
People can find me on Instagram.
My handle I believe is justhealthy evolution By Katie and I
have a website I'm actuallymeeting with my web designer
after this call I had a websiteand it's great, but I completely
rebranded to something.
That's more my vibe.
(52:02):
So different colors, differentschemes.
Everything is It's going to be alittle different over there.
And I made my first website twoyears ago and I've evolved.
It's called Healthy Evolutionand I've evolved in two years.
So my website needed an upgrade.
So it's getting an upgrade andit should be live.
So that's healthyevolution.
ca.
(52:23):
And Facebook, if you want tohang there too, I do have a lot
of people that find me onFacebook.
If you send me a friend requestthough if you could just send me
a message too, because friendrequests, I find people can just
follow you on Instagram.
But when I get a friend request,if it was like, just say, Hey,
and I won't be weird.
(52:43):
Don't worry.
Don't be like, Oh fuck.
She's going to hell me with allher shit.
No, I am not that person.
I am so not.
Now, if you want to join mybubble, that's totally cool, but
I'm not a hounder.
I'm not a shove it down yourthroat type, unless you choose
to follow my stuff, then yes,I'm going to share with you
daily my opinions and thoughts.
(53:04):
Cause it's my page.
I can do that.
But if you come into my inbox,don't worry, I won't be a crazy
person, but I just find onFacebook when people friend
requests me, if I have no mutualfriends.
I tend to not friend them back.
Yeah.
And if they have a mutual, I'llgo check.
I protect myself because you geta lot of creepers out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyways, those are the mainplaces that I like to hang out.
(53:30):
I love hanging out on Instagram.
That's my favorite place to hangout.
I love watching you onInstagram.
I have fun.
I just do.
And I just think life is reallyshort and I don't have time to
fuck around.
I have a lot of stuff I want todo and I only have 50 ish, 60,
70 years left to do it.
So who wants to fuck around inthat time?
(53:52):
When I got this opportunity toshare, I was hoping to get this
chance to share that messagewith others.
Like it's way too short and andif you are looking for a sober
coach and you want to start yourwellness journey and you don't
want to worry about me saying,Hey, let's get drinks on Friday
or whatever.
And I also don't hound people ifthat's their thing and they want
(54:14):
to come in my world and they arehaving drinks on Friday, we can
work that into your plan to Iwork with everybody, but I know
that I've been a real.
support to the sober communitythat's just wanting to live
differently.
Thank you for that.
Cause it's needed and it isneeded and really down to earth.
(54:35):
If you were, tell us what yoursweatshirt says.
Holy shitballs.
Holy shitballs.
I love that.
Katie, this has been an amazinginterview with you.
Your little nuggets, they justreally resonate with me and
stick with me.
And I truly feel like you aregoing to impact our listeners
and we will probably getmessages, direct messages from
(54:58):
people after your episode comesout with people telling us the
same things.
So I'm so grateful that youdecided to come and join us for
this conversation this evening.
And thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with us.
Oh, so appreciated.
And you're just an amazingperson.
It was my pleasure and I justwant to say thanks for the
(55:19):
invite.
I'm so happy.
We connected at that conferenceand now we're here so nice to
meet you, Katie.
I want to say thank you.
It's been such a pleasure tomeet you.
You're such a light.
You're such a great energy andwe love that.
You have such a good highvibration, which we've been
living at and trying to executeourselves since we gave up
(55:42):
alcohol.
Yeah.
It's a good, it's a good vibe.
It's a good place to hang out.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Lindsey (55:50):
Everybody, that is a wrap on today's episode.
Don't forget to head over toInstagram where you can follow
us at LAF Life Podcast andsubscribe to our show as well.
That is going to be superhelpful.
Getting us out there spreadingthe word and you just never know
who this could help.
So share this episode with yourfriends, your family, and
(56:12):
anybody that you think needssome positivity in their life.
So we'll be back next Tuesdaywith a brand new episode.
But until then, you guys knowwhat to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (56:27):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast
based on living alcohol free anda booze soaked world.
My name is Kelly Evans andtogether with my friends, Tracey
Djordjevic, and Lindsey Harik.
We share uncensored.
Unscripted real conversationsabout what our lives have been
like since we ditched alcoholand how we got here by sharing
(00:24):
our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn'tjust one way to do this, no
matter where you are on yourjourney from sober, curious to
years in recovery and everyonein between, you are welcome
here, no judgment and a ton ofsupport.
Lindsey (00:40):
It's Tuesday and that means a brand new episode of the
LAF Life podcast and today I'mreally looking forward to this
episode because we have awonderful guest that I've been
really excited to speak to andher name is Katey Armstrong and
she is a health and happinesshuman.
(01:01):
How fun is that?
I love it.
So she's a special guest.
She's a speaker, she's awellness coach, she's an
instructor, and if I'm correct,Katie, you've been in the
wellness realm for 30 years,right?
Over 30.
In some capacity?
34.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, this is my 34th year.
That's insane.
(01:21):
I just love it.
You talk a lot about resiliencyand I met you at a work
conference where you were theguest speaker.
And I just remember sitting,listening to you.
And we did it through zoom.
And even though you weren'tthere in person, your energy was
amazing.
And then when I found out thatyou were alcohol free, I was
(01:44):
like, that's it.
I need to ask her to be on thepodcast because the things that
you were saying, your story, Iwas just sitting there and on, I
was like, our listeners need tomeet this.
Incredible woman.
So thank you so much, Katie, forjoining us today.
We're so excited to get to knowyou a little bit better and ask
(02:04):
you some questions and hearabout, your resilience journey,
your wellness journey, and howthat all kind of ties into you
living alcohol free.
So welcome.
Katey (02:15):
Thank you.
What a nice welcome.
Hi, Katie.
Hi.
Hi, Tracey I've been so excitedto meet you too, just from some
of the stuff you've been puttingout on social media, and we love
the energy and the support,yeah, your energy is infectious,
even virtually.
Nice.
Thank you.
I've worked on that the lastthree years, given the whole
(02:36):
world situation and, I run afull business online.
So it's important that I cansend this energy through a
screen now in person is frickingwild.
So I love in person events whenthey happen, but.
Even through a screen, I've beentold that and that's why I've
been continuing to run mybusiness through a screen, even
(02:57):
though the world's kind of allgone back to quote unquote
normal, there's still a largeaudience I have that I'm able to
reach through.
This device right here.
So yeah, we're going to probablygo down a few paths today.
I am so excited.
Lindsey (03:13):
We're super excited.
One of the first things I wantedto talk to you about or ask you
is what's your most.
vivid memory you have of yourfirst encounter with alcohol.
And part two to that question,and I tend to lose track of the
part twos.
So if you need a reminder I'llgive that to you.
Part two to that question is howdo you feel that has shaped your
(03:36):
relationship with sobriety andwellness today.
Katey (03:40):
Okay, so my first vivid encounter with alcohol, oh my
Lord, this is funny and I can'tsay who I was with because I
didn't ask permission, but ifthey listen to this episode, my
friends, I don't know, we wereabout 14, 15, 16, I think 14 ish
and we went and got a big bottleof Jack Daniels and my sister
(04:01):
and her boyfriend at the timehad their own apartment.
So I have a bunch of siblingsand I was able to go.
So I showed up at my sister'splace and we thought we had mix.
We had a giant bottle ofalcohol.
And like a liter of pop, wethought we were like, gonna do
this thing up.
Girl, let's just say we, I thinkshe let us get sick on purpose.
(04:23):
And that was one that was myfirst kind of fun, but really
scared to, and then the oneevent, and this is going to
sound crazy, but.
When I was in high school, earlyish, grade 9, grade 10, a bunch
of us got drunk before a schooldance, and I upchucked to the
(04:44):
floor.
All over at the dance and therewas a bunch of people that were
drunk that night and my mostvivid memory is being in a room
at the high school where theykept us all.
They detained us all shut downthe dance.
The police came.
And I remember being mortifiedwhen my dad walked in because I
knew that I had really,disappointed him.
(05:05):
Then I remember even throughhigh school, just really cutting
back, a lot of people would bepartying.
And I can remember being even aDD as soon as I got my license,
it was almost like, yes, likenow I can be the DD.
So I had a purpose at partiesversus just feeling like a
loser.
And I remember being at partiesand being like the Uber.
(05:26):
Not, I didn't mean Uber.
I meant like Uber as in super,not the Uber.
Okay.
Yeah.
I remember being super cocky,like sitting, drinking a glass
of milk just to prove a point.
I couldn't just sit and have apop.
I was being a bit of a shit andI was like, I'm drinking milk
and I'm having just as much funas the rest of you.
I drank alcohol right up untilthree years ago and then, but
(05:49):
not a lot.
So I was going to share with youguys when I told my children
that I was getting interviewed,I'm like, you guys, I'm getting
interviewed on another podcast.
This is.
Fuckin fun for me.
And I hope you guys can handle Fbombs because they sometimes fly
out of me.
I love it.
I love this opportunity.
And I just want to say thankyou.
This is like soul filling forthis human.
This is exactly what I love todo.
(06:11):
So thank you for theopportunity.
First off, so welcome.
But when I told my kids, I'mlike, I'm being interviewed on
this podcast and it's a livingalcohol free.
And they're like, And what's thebig deal mom, we've been drunk
like five times since we've beenalive and I'm like, they grew up
urging me, they wanted me to getdrunk because I'm pretty funny
(06:32):
human, on the normal life.
And they put alcohol on me.
I was more of a happy let's havemore fun.
Except sometimes I would gooverboard and then I felt
remorse.
I was a bit of a, like a drunkthat then felt guilty for,
whatever.
So I remember one time gettingreally drunk with a good friend
of mine, I was going through abit of a rough patch in life and
(06:54):
she texted me and she's do youneed a hug?
Hug, wine, a visit.
I'm like all three and I didn'teven like alcohol.
So she brought over this wineand I was like barf and I drank
it.
And I got so drunk and then Ithrew up that night and my
daughter, this is when my kidswere big.
My daughter held my hair backand I was in the toilet.
I'm like, Oh my Lord, that waslike around 2016, 2017.
(07:16):
It was a handful of times, likeit wasn't something I did a lot.
And then in around 2021, I justdecided for the amount that I
did do.
I'm like, why do I even fuckingdo it?
I'd rather be done with it.
And I actually can be a reallybig support to those who don't
want it in their life.
I've become, I don't know if youwould call me like an ally or a
(07:38):
friend or a sister in this life,but I definitely know.
That I attract people who areeither sober curious or are on a
sober sobriety journey in mywellness business.
I attract a lot of women.
Now that I am like for realdecided I'm done and for me it
wasn't like, sure a couple ofyears ago when I was married,
(08:01):
went on an all inclusivevacation and I was probably
drunk almost every day cause wepaid for it.
it was ridiculous.
I'm like, getting my money'sworth I'm not gonna lie.
going to leave here, and they'renot going to owe me a dime.
I'm going to drink and drinkthis resort dry.
Exactly.
I paid a lot of money and Iremember, just drinking to
drink.
Very early on though you askedabout how it related to my
(08:24):
wellness.
journey.
Okay.
So I got into wellness young.
Part of it was just out ofdefault.
All my friends were leavinguniversity.
I had just graduated high schooland I was working at Sears.
Do you guys remember Sears?
I remember Sears.
Okay.
I was working at Sears and afriend of mine, Tammy who were
still friends today and we stillare in wellness together.
(08:48):
She said to me, Hey, I'm takinga fitness course to be a fitness
instructor next weekend.
Want to take it with me?
And I was like, sure.
Cause I wanted to feel like Iwas doing something more than
working at Sears.
And I fell in love after thatcourse, that was in 1990 and I
haven't taken my foot off thegas.
Like I've been teaching in somecapacity.
(09:10):
in some way, shape or form for34 years.
Wow.
And it was very early on thatI'm like, this alcohol doesn't
mix.
It's empty calories.
So for me, it was a bit of adeterrent.
Cause I'm like, if I'm going tohave 300 calories in booze or
600 or 800, I'm having fuckingcheesecake.
I'm not drinking alcohol.
Like it was just, for me, thatwas a huge.
(09:32):
In my twenties, I was like, fuckthat, I'd rather eat food than
drink this shit.
And then when I had children, itwas another big anchor, let's
say.
Cause like I'm in a mom, thesechildren, and I was partnered
sometimes with unreliablepeople.
And so I was like their numberone and I'm like, what's that
(09:53):
going to be like if they're sickin the middle of the night and
I'm drunk and I can't take themto the hospital.
So shit like that crossed mymind and I don't know.
My oldest boy Jack.
He said mom like you've probablybeen drunk five times and
they're probably right yeah, Ijust didn't really want it and
I'm gonna tell you something candance I can really dance like me
and my best friend.
We would dance on dance floors.
People thought we were pissedAnd we were both like so sober,
(10:16):
and it's funner when you'resober.
And then when the night's done,it's done.
Like I hated after parties soTracey in Manitoba, we have
socials.
Do you have socials in Ontario?
Tracey (10:26):
I'm sure we have something similar.
What is a social?
Katey (10:30):
A social is like a dance where you drink and party and
have fun, but you can have drysocials as well.
But I would go to I guess wetones.
Yeah.
Are they called wet?
So we would go to socials anddance and we would be Like the
ones on the dance floor, I wasnever someone that had to be
like, Oh, wait till I have afew, then I'll go dance.
(10:51):
I was like, fuck that.
I'm not wasting that good song.
I'm going to go dance now.
And I didn't care.
So I'm very lucky that I had abit of a, don't give a shit
attitude.
I love that.
Not always.
I'll be straight.
Yeah, not always.
There was some situations when Iwould be in them and I really
hated intimate gatheringsbecause then people ask you yeah
(11:13):
oh, why don't you drink and I'mlike, yeah, I can ask you why
you do like I write I don't youknow when my youngest one he
played hockey and I rememberbeing on a hockey trip And I was
the mom that packed her own foodand worked out in her hotel.
I went to the games and shit,like I cheered him on, but it
wasn't all my life.
I had life and he had his lifeand we watched hockey or he
(11:36):
played hockey.
I watched we had that, but Iremember that being a big thing,
parents partying and I ofteneither wouldn't go party with
them or I would go and sit andhave a pop and I remember being
asked Hey, why don't you justhave one or two or, what would
you say?
Sometimes I wouldn't sayanything.
And sometimes I would say, youknow what?
I don't knock on your door atsix 30 and ask you to work out
(11:57):
with me.
So like you do you, and I'mgoing to do me and we're good.
Wow.
We're just good.
I don't need to, I once had akid ask a kid on the hockey
team.
How come you don't drink likethe other parents?
No, you didn't.
I did.
10 years old.
Oh my God.
I'm like.
Do I fucking punch him out nowor do I punch the parents?
Punch the parents out, for sure.
(12:18):
Also, why?
Like, why is it?
It's like the conferences, thehockey tournaments, where
everybody goes on the road andthey've got their tumblers with
their booze, and oh my god, it'ssuch a drinking culture.
We are in a drinking culture Iwould listen to an episode that
you guys shared a while back.
I've been trying to listen tothem and catch up and get to
know you guys a little bitbetter before coming here and
(12:41):
you talked about the mommy wineculture.
And I don't know if I heard itfrom you guys or another, and
it's so degrading that we womenor whoever, Would say, this is
my mommy juice or whatever.
Meaning like we can't do lifewithout it.
Are we inadequate that we needfucking alcohol to parent?
That's so sad, but then itbecomes trendy.
(13:03):
Ellen DeGeneres, okay tV showlady.
How many times, if you watch hershow.
She would reference alcohol allthe time.
I never noticed that.
Oh, if you go back and watch it.
Yeah.
You'll pick it up now if youwatch old episodes, but there's
so much of it and I was justlike, God it's everywhere.
It's thirsty.
Thursdays, like these things,fishbowl Fridays.
(13:25):
Yeah.
And I think it's an escape.
It's disempowering and it isthere.
I took a lot of criticism.
So I have to share with you whenI was invited here, I was a
little bit like.
apprehensive because I'm like, Idon't have a sober journey.
I didn't know what I was cominghere for, to be honest.
Okay.
And then I was chatting with aniece of mine and she's allowing
(13:47):
me to share her journey here.
Alyssa, I love you.
And if you hear this, I am soincredibly proud of my niece.
Who's in her early thirties.
She's over.
I'm going to lose track, but Ibelieve August is her two year.
And yeah, Alyssa, I know.
And I've been able to be herauntie that has been able to be
(14:11):
there through the really shittytimes and then through this
journey as well.
And it was a couple of weeks agoI made a reel and I found a real
sound that suited my feelingsbecause.
I've taken a lot of hits beingthe non drinker.
I've taken a lot of ignorantcriticism and I've had to defend
(14:32):
myself numerous times, like morethan I can count getting older.
Now I am like, you don't haveany right to talk to me like
that.
I will stand up to myself now,but in my twenties and thirties,
I heard so many, why don't you,why don't you, you're a loser.
All of it.
And she said to me, you haveevery right to be on that show,
(14:55):
this show.
They need to hear you.
You've taken more of a hitbecause I took it from her and
my kids when they were younger,they were mom.
They just wanted me to drink it.
They just wanted to, theythought it was like.
I don't know what, I think theywere just curious to see me in
that capacity and then they sawit a couple of times, but
(15:15):
literally a couple of times andnever when they were little,
either I did it when they werelittle and I just had like good
babysitters overnight, theynever got to see it.
The few times that I did do it,I just felt like shit after, so
then why bother?
Because of my lifestyle too,they just didn't go together.
However, it goes with a lot ofpeople.
(15:36):
They work out all week, they eatall the healthy things and then
they drink all weekend long andthen they start again on Monday
and they wonder why they feellike shit for three days.
Lindsey (15:45):
That used to be me.
I was doing the green smoothies.
I was working out.
I was going to the gym five daysa week.
I looked like shit.
I felt like shit and I wasgaining weight.
I was super puffy.
Yeah.
And I was also drinking to thepoint of blocking out, but I was
alone when I drank.
And I was isolating myselfbecause I didn't feel good about
(16:07):
myself.
I think listening to you speak,you were so confident and you
were really somebody who like,I'm going to go out on the dance
floor and dance.
I don't give a shit if peopleare like, Oh my God.
I feel like when I was in mytwenties, I didn't have that
confidence.
And I felt that alcohol was.
something external that wasgoing to give that to me.
(16:30):
We call it liquid courage,right?
Exactly.
And then I would do ridiculousstuff and make really poor
decisions.
So instead of buildingconfidence, it ended up doing
the opposite.
And it ended up Making me feelalone, small, embarrassed,
ashamed, and it was just thisvicious cycle.
(16:51):
So I just think that people,need to hear your perspective
because you're this pillar ofWellness and you have this
holistic approach right now,it's trending to mix alcohol and
wellness.
You're seeing yoga events pairedwith wine.
Katey (17:07):
You're seeing memes sent right time.
Yeah.
And I don't even like themanymore.
I don't mix.
People send me them and you'reright, I heard you saying that
one gym offers shots on Fridaysor something.
And I'm like, I have to admitthough, because I take a pre
workout and I was thinking aboutthis all week.
(17:27):
Okay, all the good fucking dadsongs all talk about drinking
and partying and getting shitfaced And I'm like we need more
songs that are just like thatbut without the alcohol So like
I like this song by pink raiseyour glass.
Do you know that song?
But does she talk about whatshe's in her class?
Maybe she doesn't she just saysraise your glass We assume it's
(17:49):
alcohol.
Isn't that sad?
You know that song I think it'sby, I don't know who, that
Shots.
Shots! Shots! Shots! You knowthat song?
I have a video of myself doingthat with energized, like my pre
workout.
Love that.
But, I don't know is it stillpromoting alcohol like even if
it's a shot of and I don't knowI just think that I like to have
(18:11):
fun without it Now I'm almost 53years old and I don't know It's
a whole another chapter comingalong, menopause, do you guys
know that there's more link ofalcohol, the damage that this
does to you, cardiovascular andfor your brain health is the one
of the greatest, it's acarcinogen.
(18:32):
So people are just drinking itand it's so glamorized and it's
poison.
Yeah, but it's so beautifullywrapped and it tastes amazing
but so is a chocolate bar,right?
Beautifully wrapped.
Tastes great.
So it's a whole lot of shit thathas to take place.
Sometimes go way off topic, but
Tracey (18:53):
I just wanted to say Katie that you're definitely a
unique guest for us because wedo normally have guests that
struggled with theirrelationship with alcohol and
are coming from having some sortof sobriety journey.
But I think you're coming from aperspective that people need to
hear too, and the perspectiveyou're coming from is also
(19:14):
inspiring and encouraging forthose people that want to find
the confidence, or even thosepeople out there that currently
are doing the same thing as you,saying no to alcohol because
they don't really dig it.
And they're getting the pushbackor they're getting, the negative
responses.
So I think you're a good exampleof how you're responding to
(19:37):
those things and how you'retreating that type of scenario.
Also just showing as part ofwellness that you're not
encouraging that type ofbehavior.
Why you made the choices assomeone in wellness, not to do
it and that you came to theconclusion, you're speaking to
those occasional drinkers outthere when you came to the final
(19:59):
conclusion to say, why bother atall?
I can not do it and feel muchbetter.
And I can not do it and becauseI've made that absolute choice
that I am not doing that.
I can be an absolute rock to theclients that I have, to the
family members that I have thatdon't want to do this anymore.
Friends that don't want to doit.
(20:21):
And I have to just put this outbecause if anyone's listening, I
don't give a shit.
If you are, if you're a user andyou love it and you're living a
great life, I don't judge.
I don't judge people.
Everyone's entitled to livetheir own life.
But where I am done is notstanding up for myself.
I love that.
Oh,
Katey (20:41):
But anyways, back to the menopause and our health.
Because our health is soimportant, because I've been in
this industry for so long, and Ialso work your listeners can
I'll share a little bit aboutwhat I do.
For sure.
I work during the day.
I work at a retirement home so Iwork with clients that are 65 to
100 maybe I've got one or two ora hundred and one ish.
(21:02):
And so I can see the long termeffects of how we live, okay,
play out further.
And I've been working in thatdemographic for about 15 years.
And so I see that, okay.
So I see that what's that
Lindsey (21:16):
the first hand experience.
Yeah, like I see it every day.
I see it every day.
Aging population.
Yes.
And so when I look at say peoplein their twenties, thirties,
forties and fifties and I'vebeen working so much on trying
to help other people getstronger and put some good
nutrients in their body.
And I'm not perfect.
I am so not, I run really greatgroups and programs there for
(21:40):
that basic person that justwants it basic and easy.
Nothing too complicated becauseit just isn't who I am.
I've gotten this far on a realkind of basic duplicatable path
and alcohol now because I'mlearning so much about menopause
and how it's gonna make anylisteners, if you have
perimenopause menopausesymptoms.
(22:02):
They're going to multiple, notmultiply whatever it's going to
exacerbate those symptoms.
They're going to be worse.
If you're drinking and yeah, andyour long term, your cardiac
health, your brain health, thisis all impacting it.
And so I'm biohacking man.
I want a long health span.
I want to live well, long, likeI want to live full and well, I
(22:26):
don't want to just be like in achair and people roll me around
from room to room, sad.
And do you guys know how earlyit starts to decline?
like mobility decline in yourearly sixties.
Oh my god.
That's young.
Katey (22:41):
But it's when it starts.
So it starts there.
This lifestyle It's nowsomething I'm really conscious
of.
So like I drew the line in thesand, I think partly cause I
just was like, why bother?
And again, I could be more of asupport and an ally to others.
If I'm just that person.
I've had a few really greatfriends reach out to me.
(23:05):
that have decided to stop.
And they shared with meintimately how addicted they
were, but they didn't have thecourage to tell me some of my
clients that would even joke atme make fun of me.
Do you even have fun?
I get that a lot.
Do you even have fun?
I'm like, do you even spend timewith me?
I fun on fucking Wednesdays.
(23:25):
You people only have fun onFridays and Saturdays.
I have fun on Tuesdays.
I.
Don't need Friday to have a goodtime.
Tracey (23:34):
I don't know how anybody could question if you're having
fun or not.
Exactly.
You exude fun.
Katey (23:40):
It gets challenged, like when I'm out socially
Tracey (23:43):
people think they need it.
That's more about them than itis about you.
I just want to go back to themenopause thing for a moment
because I'm in menopause.
So I've been doing a lot ofresearch as well on it.
And I just recently heardsomething that was very shocking
to me, too, that our tolerancefor alcohol is less during
menopause.
Katey (24:02):
Absolutely.
Tracey (24:04):
So that's another thing for people to be conscious of
and be aware of because the wayyou're processing it is not the
same.
Yep.
When your hormones start tochange.
And also if you care about yoursleep and your quality of sleep,
and that's something that startsto deteriorate through
perimetopause, metapause, postmetapausal, goes on for a long
(24:25):
time.
Yeah.
If you're drinking.
That is detrimental to yoursleep.
I've heard people say you'rebasically making the decision
between having a glass of wineand getting a good night rest.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm super excited thatyou touched on that because that
speaks to me and the phase oflife I'm in, but I'm just so
thankful that I stopped drinkingbefore I started this phase of
(24:49):
life.
Yes, because I know that mysymptoms and what I've been
going through would have beenway worse if I was still
drinking.
Katey (24:56):
Absolutely.
Yeah,
Lindsey (24:58):
I'm just listening to you talk, Katie, and you said
something that sort of sparkedsomething in me.
Do you know how long I wasactually just super done with
drinking alcohol?
Before I actually quit the finaltime, two years.
Yeah.
But I would continue to consumeit because I didn't have any
(25:18):
other coping mechanisms.
So I feel like if I had somebodylike you in my life, even
following you on Instagram orworking with you, having you as
a wellness coach, you'resomebody that would inspire
people to.
Ditch it earlier, before theywere even ready because you are
(25:39):
just so aligned with wellnessand health and just living life
and a quality of life, living itto the fullest.
And.
Alcohol just doesn't fit in.
Like I tried so hard to keep it.
I was like, oh, okay, maybe it'sthis cupcake that I eat or, oh,
it's, I'm not getting reallygreat sleep.
My wonder why I'll start takingsleeping pills.
(26:02):
Let's, I'll go to the doctor,I'll get the sleeping pills.
And I'll do that because thenthat'll help me sleep better,
but I'll still binge drink onFriday night and then be hung
over all weekend.
I was so done and sick ofmyself, but I didn't have the
courage to give it up because Iwas so afraid of what would be
left, who I was without it, howwould I deal with life?
(26:23):
How would I deal with setbacks?
And I didn't know.
So I feel like, somebody likeyou could teach people.
This is how you can navigatelife, living it to your best and
living it to the fullest.
And you don't need thissubstance to do it.
Yeah.
I hear what you're saying.
I know that there's this partinside of me that I'm like, I
(26:46):
never really liked it.
So that was part of it.
Like I didn't get to that place,I would love to say, yes, I can
really help people because, butI don't know what that feeling
is
Tracey (26:57):
It's interesting that you never really liked it, but
you obviously still felt thepressure to do it.
Yeah.
Still made the choice ordecision, even speaking of an
all inclusive vacation.
Exactly what you said.
How many people are boozingthemselves to death on vacation
because they're paying for itand then how are they really
(27:18):
Enjoying the experience of theirvacation after getting drunk
every day, because they feel theneed to, because they're paying
for all inclusive.
Exactly.
If you think of that experiencealone, yeah, it's crazy that
people will put themselvesthrough that just because it's
something that they paid for,regardless of whether they
(27:39):
really enjoyed it or not and notexpensive vacation that they're
paying for.
Is like a big blur because theyspent the whole time drunk.
Did they really have fun andwhat parts of it did they
remember?
Katey (27:51):
Yeah, it is.
It's something that like I said,I've done it and I don't even
desire a hot vacation.
I know this sounds crazy, butlike I've created such a life.
That I really just and it'staken me a minute.
I'm so happy that we're heretoday chatting together because
I moved to Winnipeg one year agoand it wasn't easy for me.
(28:12):
And there's absolutely probablyno way that.
We would have even met Lindsayuntil the timing was right.
And I'm so glad we met when wemet because I've been able to
curate a good life for myselfhere now, but it took time and
it took me putting in the work.
That's one thing I will sharewith listeners as I don't care,
give a shit what you're tryingto do, what you're trying to
(28:34):
heal or fix or change.
You have to do the work.
Nobody's coming to do it for youand you have to take absolute
responsibility for yourself.
And when you do, it's empoweringas fuck, but you've got to do
it.
I can't expect my children to dolife for me, my friends, my
colleagues or clients, I'm theonly one.
(28:57):
And your listener are the onlyone.
So if you're hearing thislistener, you have got to do it.
You've got to do the research.
You've got to put down thebottle.
You've got to do the work andit's not easy work.
So I've been living one year nowalone.
She's my only roommate.
So I've had this year of a lotof solitude, a lot of alone time
(29:20):
to do a lot of thinking andthings that are coming to me.
Some of them are going to beturning into workplace
presentations like I've donewith Lindsay's group.
When you learn a skill andreally get good at it, you can
then teach it.
To others, that's part of whereI want to go with this journey I
don't talk a lot about livingalcohol free, but the couple of
(29:43):
times I've shared about it, andI will be now, I feel like I've
ripped the bandaid off.
I will be helping others.
So the couple times I have, Ican't believe how many people.
Have either wrote me privatelyor commented.
I'm so happy you shared this.
I don't like it either or yougive a voice to somebody that's
not ready to shout it out.
(30:04):
Yes I'm just so happy I'm heretoday with you guys.
Cause like I said, a year ago, Icouldn't say that I wouldn't
want a Mexico vacation.
And I'm not saying listen,listeners, if someone wants to
give me a vacation, I'll takeit, but I'm not like.
I don't hate my life that I needto go escape and not that people
hate their life.
(30:24):
I'm not saying that, but I trulylove my day to day.
But I really, I like the classesI teach.
I like the interactions I have.
I have.
Really good friends that I chatwith.
I don't see them a lot here, butI've really created a life in
this space and without alcohol,without drugs, and it doesn't
(30:47):
make me better.
I don't feel better than anyone.
I'm just here for myself.
I'm better for me so that I canbe like, I walked into work
today.
And I'm like walking, I'm fullof energy.
And one of the guys, our busdriver, he's man, you're always
like that, aren't you?
And I said I fill my cup beforeI get here.
And he's what?
I said, I fill my cup before Icome and see you guys.
(31:10):
I said, I wake up and I primemyself to come here.
I don't just show up.
I like wake up two to threehours before I go to work so
that I am ready to pour intoothers.
And Instead of just showing upempty cup feel like shit hate my
job hate my life, and there wastimes I did hate my life so I
had to make changes, but it'staking that full responsibility.
(31:31):
I think that's a big word thatpeople They we want to blame we
just do.
And I think it boils down to whowe surround ourselves with and
not just people, but like theplaces we frequent how we live,
our surroundings your reality.
I read somewhere that yourpersonal reality becomes your
personality.
(31:51):
And so if you're surroundingyourself with toxic shit,
whether it's input, I always saythis, you can go to the gym, you
can eat the good food, you cantake the vitamins, but if you're
still not taking care of thisupstairs.
What's the point?
What's the point?
So I've had to do a lot of thework in my head in the last five
years, like a lot of work I'velived in my head for a few years
(32:14):
now.
And it's hard.
It's dark sometimes, but it'salso everything starts in the
dark, right?
That eventually blooms.
So
Lindsey (32:22):
You did this what dirty water Yes.
Demonstration.
Yeah.
At the presentation I was atwhere you were speaking, and I
want you to tell our listeners alittle bit about that and what
the point of that was, becausethe illustration of what you
were saying at the time, youactually doing it, that blew my
(32:43):
mind.
That was the first time I hadever heard that.
And I was like, Okay, this isawesome.
Yeah, tell our listeners, I'lltry to explain it and it's
something that I turn to a lotand I turned to it before I saw,
ever saw that illustration Andthen I'm like, Oh my God, this
is amazing.
So what you do is when you thinkabout life, you think of your
life as a nice tall glass ofwater.
(33:06):
And in that tall glass of wateris all the goodness of life.
The good health, good energy,all the goodness is in this cup,
you have a glass.
And then all of a sudden, I tossa little bit of dirt in the cup
and I swirl it around.
And the dirt is like thedisappointments, the failed
marriages, the, I have pluralanyways different things like.
People cutting you off intraffic bad diagnosis, like
(33:28):
really serious stuff is thedirt.
Sometimes even when I moved hereinto this apartment, I focused
on everything wrong with it.
Everything.
I was just picking at the dirt.
And so as I was picking at thedirt and trying to get the dirt
out of the cup, out came all thegoodness out of the cup as well.
And the illustration is.
(33:48):
If I could pour more goodnessin.
So then I took a pitcher ofwater and I poured more water in
till my cup was overflowing andsoon almost all the dirt was
gone.
So whatever you focus onexpands.
So if I'm going to sit there andpick and pick, so when I moved
into this apartment, it wasunder a bit of a tough time in
(34:08):
my life.
And I remember.
Being in this place and my bestfriend, Tammy, the one I took
the fitness course with in 1990,we're still friends.
We were on the phone and shesays, Katie, go find some water.
That's all she had to say to me.
Oh, on the second day that Imoved in here and I went for a
walk and I walked down to theend of my road and I found water
(34:32):
like an actual river and I'mlike, holy shit by river is five
minutes away.
And then I walked back, I walkedinto my building and my neighbor
across the hall, she came at mea little bit like aggressively I
won't say the C word, but shewas actual a C word.
And thank God I went and sawthat water because I handled her
(34:53):
very well and I just basicallyput her in her place.
And we have not spoken a wordsince because she was very out
of line.
She was trying to tell me whatlight fixtures I should use in
here.
She was telling me the fan wasgoing to make too much noise in
the hallway.
And so she was my dirt.
And if I allowed to just pick atthat and focus on only her, I
would have never stayed livinghere.
(35:15):
And now I leave the fan onwhenever I feel like it.
And it's really loud in thehallway.
But the moral of this littlestory is the more you can focus
on the good that's in your lifeand add to it, listeners, let's
say you got a lot of shit goingon and you had a lot of dirt in
your cup.
If you can start finding onething.
Even adding to the cup, maybeyour cup, you feel like, Oh my
(35:38):
God, I can't add one more thing.
Add three minutes of breathing.
into your day.
It doesn't have to be a hugething.
Go do a wash, load, fold, andput away.
You'll feel like a fucking boss.
If you do all four of thosesteps, you're going to feel
accomplished.
And as you do another win andanother little win and another
(35:59):
little, they start stacking andthat's where you get confidence
from.
From the stacking those wins.
And they don't have to be bigthings.
They can be little things, butback to that illustration.
Sorry, I get a littlesidetracked.
The moral of that story is wecould run through our whole life
picking at the dirt, or we canadd nice fresh water instead.
(36:19):
There's always going to be somedirt, our lives are not perfect.
The less we focus on the thingswe can't control.
Things we can't change.
When I was in my first marriage,relationship, marriage,
whatever, the father of mychildren, I'll just say that I
went to counseling for a goodcouple of years before ending.
And I remember sitting in heroffice one time and she said to
(36:42):
me, Katie, you can't changeanybody.
You can't change what they say.
You can't change what they do.
All you can do is act.
And I've taken that with me inso many situations where you
want to be able to changesomething and you can try and
get help as a couple orwhatever.
But if things are.
(37:02):
I can't change that person.
And so many times now had tobuild up my own self again.
And now I'm 52 and I don't knowthat I meant to be coupled with
someone.
I just don't putting that out tothe universe world.
And I don't give a shit.
Like I, I don't need that.
I don't know yet where that isgoing to go, but I know that I
(37:27):
really love my career.
I love what I do each day and Iput my career right now.
I, probably a lot of people say,Oh, you don't, you love your
kids.
I love my children, but they aregrown adults and have lives.
So I had to find a new love formy day to day here.
Empty nest.
Oh, it has not been my favorite.
(37:48):
favorite season of life.
And so this year was my fullfirst year of empty nest and
I've had to recreate parts of mycareer and pour what I need
anyways, going a little all overthe map.
I just love it.
Cause I feel like that.
If somebody is struggling withalcohol and using it as a
(38:08):
substance to cope.
This is relevant.
Focusing on the good things,focus on adding things in
instead of taking things away.
We look at not drinking as apunishment, as something being
taken away from our life, butinstead change your mindset and
focus on what you can add in tomake your life better.
(38:28):
I think it's with all things.
I'm just going to say this withalcohol, with finances, with
nutrition, with exercise,there's always this okay, the
word discipline, when you thinkof a five year old, And you're
disciplining them for puttingcrayons on the wall or something
like that.
It's called discipline.
Hey, you don't do that.
(38:49):
Here, use the paper.
We redirect them, whatever.
The word responsibility we shyaway from that word.
Who's going to be responsible?
I'm running right now a foodgroup in a, about four days.
And it's called food focus.
I hear so much in the worldright now in the Instagram world
and all of this stuff.
Everyone wants freedom, foodfreedom.
They just want to eat what theywant and feel good.
(39:11):
Guess what?
If you don't get a littlefocused for a little while, then
that freedom comes withfinances.
Same thing.
Some people might want to reducetheir alcohol maybe some want to
remove it.
The other pillars of life, wecan live without alcohol,
people, but you can't livewithout food, and you can't live
(39:32):
without exercise, and you needsome form of income.
But alcohol is the one variablein this.
equation that you could actuallyeliminate and live.
The other ones are quite trickyto manage because if you have a
food addiction or an unhealthaddiction, like people get
addicted to not doing things intheir life.
And so I work with old peopleand yesterday one member got
(39:57):
upset in my group.
And she was talking down toherself, and this little 93 year
old woman said to me, shedoesn't mean to say that about
herself.
Nobody would choose to talk tothemselves that way.
There must be something wrong.
93 years old, and then she says,She said this, she's very, she
(40:19):
comes to every activity I run.
She goes, it's just likeexercise, people don't choose to
not do this for whatever reason,something inside of them tells
them not to go.
Like it was so profound.
I feel like I'm talking about alot of things, but when it comes
to All of those things.
So nutrition, fitness, exercise,mobility, whatever you want to
(40:42):
call it, your word for it,finances and alcohol.
We tend to talk about the, wegive the negative all the glory.
And then the positive we call itpunishment.
Oh, I have to go to the gym.
Oh, I better go to the gym.
And I'm not someone who, I don'tlove exercise.
(41:03):
Like I've conditioned myself toit.
It's part of what I am.
I brush my teeth.
I comb my hair.
I actually exercise more than Ibrush my hair.
Katey (41:13):
Anyways, it's just, I think that life, sometimes the
things that, you know aren't thebest for us do get glamorized
and unfortunately it's going totake a long time to make the
switch, but I have listened tosome of your episodes and there
is definitely more of a upswingright now of people that are
removing alcohol and a lot offamous people that are coming
(41:35):
out that always helps, right?
When they decide to share thatthey're no longer using and
Tracey (41:41):
I'm just having a delayed thought here about what
you were saying there.
Because it's so true, you'reright.
Why do we see everything that'sgood for us as a punishment?
We do.
And then we're glamorizing allthe shit that's bad for us.
Katey (41:56):
Yeah, it's like discipline
Lindsey (41:58):
and motivation.
Anything that requiresdiscipline is bad, is a
punishment.
Tracey (42:03):
Yeah we've talked very often about the idea and the
fact that alcohol or even food,for example, is a reward.
Doing these bad things arereward, but it's a complete
contradiction because you'rerewarding yourself with these
bad things after you're doingsomething good for yourself.
Yeah, but yeah, the same goesfor what you were saying.
(42:25):
I've never thought of it thatway.
But what you said is
Katey (42:29):
I've studied it for a long time, right?
I've been studying habits.
I've been studying people and Ialso follow And watch a lot of
accounts.
So if I post a a post about abootcamp I'm running or
something like that four peoplelike it.
And then if I post somethingabout my dog humping my leg, a
thousand people like it, there'ssomething that people don't want
to acknowledge things sometimesTaking responsibility is hard.
(42:53):
It's not easy.
Sometimes when you're forced,like I've been forced into
responsibility because when youbecome a person like for me I've
decided to live my life on myown.
I had to take my health into myown hands.
I had to do research for my ownself and.
I talk to a lot of people workonline all over the place that
(43:13):
it's so easy to just say, Oh,I'll just do it tomorrow.
I'll just get to it tomorrow.
And there's some things I putoff until tomorrow.
And then there's a lot of thingsthat I'm like, just get her
done.
Just get her done.
And it goes back to stackingthose wins and it just feels
good it gives me a little bit ofa confidence boost when I get it
done.
And I also.
Something like cleaning mykitchen before going to bed at
(43:35):
night.
I love waking up to my kitchennice and clean, even though I'm
only by myself.
It's still nice.
I want to do it for me.
I'm not doing it for anyoneelse.
Just doing it for myself.
Lindsey (43:46):
The environment you create, right?
And I think action, people thinkthat they need to feel
motivated.
To do the thing, but it's theaction that creates the
motivation.
A hundred percent.
We're motivated when we'remotivated.
Okay.
So that's a word I don't usewith my classes.
I am like, you will not alwaysbe motivated, but you can work
(44:09):
with momentum, but momentum canroll both ways.
So you can be like, I tell myparticipants and anyone
listening, if you don't.
Want to move your body or dowhatever the thing is, first
start by having your workoutclothes ready to go.
Have them piled, just pile themfor a month.
Don't even worry about workingout.
(44:30):
Just get that consistent habitof my workout clothes are
sitting there.
Good.
Now get them on your body.
Okay.
So you woke up 30 mornings in arow and you put your workout
clothes on, then you're going tobuild the next step.
Of moving your body and buildslowly.
I say this all the time,consistency over any other, like
(44:50):
I could give a client thehardest, most grueling workout,
but if they're not going to comeback and do it another two or
three times that week, what'sthe sense?
Like we just can't do that.
It's the same with nutrition.
We can't eat one salad and oneprotein shake and be like, Hey,
I'm good.
But we expect that we expect it.
And that's just the way it is.
(45:12):
motivation, is only there whenyou're motivated, when you're
motivated, things are rolling,things are good.
And then you have a day whereit's not good.
And then what you got nomotivation.
It's not going to get you going,action, take action.
And sometimes you don't want to,that's when the support system
helps.
Someone you can text, call,whatever.
(45:32):
Like I run groups and if peopleare like, okay I'm not feeling
it.
Just pop into the group.
If they popped in and said, Idon't feel like doing my workout
today.
10 people are going to say, comeon, let's go.
Let's do it, and I
Tracey (45:43):
think that's where consistency comes in.
Katey (45:45):
Yeah, and just having accountability, like you girls,
ladies I sometimes say girls orladies, it's all the same, but
you guys have each other on thisjourney, right?
Isn't that lovely that you havethat?
It's neat when you can find yourpeople.
In whatever you're trying toaccomplish.
Yeah.
I think community is a reallygood thing and connection.
Tracey (46:07):
That's been huge for us for sure.
I think Lindsay would agree withme in the sense that.
That I had no idea this bigcommunity exists before we
started this podcast.
And it is an amazing, supersupportive community.
So it's been mind blowing toexperience that.
Absolutely.
And I just want to say again,Katie, that I think that you are
(46:32):
a perfect example for people ofliving a great alcohol free
life.
It's not shocking to me thatpeople looking to potentially
give up.
alcohol would gravitate towardsyou when I was looking to give
up.
alcohol I definitely would havegravitated towards you.
I ended up with a partner thatdidn't drink.
And I think that was.
(46:53):
Unconsciously because of where Iwas trying to take my life and I
think I probably gravitatedtowards him because he didn't
drink.
And it was the total oppositeexperience of my previous
relationship.
And I admired the fact that hedidn't drink because there was a
(47:13):
time I wasn't a drinker and Irecognized a lot of my older
self in him.
So I can totally see why peoplewould gravitate towards you.
And that's why I think you'vebeen an amazing guest for us to
have on the podcast, regardlessof the fact that you haven't had
a sobriety journey per se.
(47:35):
You're just an inspiration andwellness and making that
decision and being confident init.
Also, teaching those casualdrinkers how to tackle those
situations where people arepressuring them or keep
questioning why they're notdrinking.
Lindsey (47:51):
Katie, I wanted to ask you a question to close us off.
And you touched a little bit onit.
I could see how my questionrelates to the things that you
just said, but as a wellnesscoach And doing your groups,
what strategies would yourecommend for our listeners who
want to embrace an alcohol freelifestyle or cut back, but they
(48:14):
struggle with societal pressureor social situations?
Katey (48:20):
I'm just going to share a recommendation and work on
yourself, period, because as youwork on yourself and you do
things that build yourconfidence, you will grow the
strength that you need in thosepressures.
Cause you're going to have morethan just alcohol pressures in
life.
So for instance, when I'mteaching class last night, we
were in the middle of a hardexercise.
(48:40):
And I said to them, we are goingto do this hard together so that
when you're in your next boardmeeting and you want to stand
up, you're going to have thestrength to come here.
And when you're in a situationand you want to have that
strength, we're going to bethere with you.
I'm not saying that we replaceone thing with the other.
So for 10 years, I didn't evenshare this part for 10 years.
(49:03):
I worked in an addictionsrehabilitation center.
So the AFM, have you ever heardof that addiction foundation of
Manitoba?
So I worked for them for 10years.
Wow.
Yeah.
I taught fitness classes.
Two mornings a week.
And I would often say we're nottaking an addiction and making
another addiction.
Like we don't want to replace,but lifestyle has to change and
(49:26):
period.
So if you're going to changethat lifestyle.
From a drinker, maybe you don'twant to your friend group might
change and that might be thecase your tolerance is gonna
change you might no longerreally want to tolerate Certain
behaviors because you're justnot there anymore And you might
(49:49):
take a hit because your friendsmight think you're better than
them or whatever so if you workon yourself and I'm a big
believer in that I've beenworking on my own self for a
long time and when I'm goingthrough a really tough time, I
double down on it like and how Ido self work, I listen to
(50:10):
podcasts that are good for mybrain and not just podcasting.
Rah, like you go girl.
Like I listened to some of that,but then I listened to like real
thought, how my brain isthinking and processing and food
and getting enough sleep andhaving good humans in my life.
Laughter.
I didn't realize, like you guyscall your podcast LAF life.
(50:32):
Is that what it's called?
So like the word laugh, I justlove it.
Totally.
Yes.
Totally.
I laugh a lot and I do.
And so finding the right peoplethat you vibe with, I wrote on
this little note in my gym here,like you vibe or it's bye, like
vibe or bye.
(50:52):
If I don't vibe, I'm not gonnaspend a lot of time in a certain
space.
I think no matter what you'retrying to change in your life,
your health, your finances, yourthought processes, whatever it
is, it has to start from within.
And it goes back there everytime too, whenever I'm in a
crossroads or something'schallenging me.
(51:15):
It always has to go inside andit's the hardest place to go.
It's dark.
It stirs up a lot of stuff, butit's the only place you're going
to be able to get to the truth.
Lindsey (51:24):
Geez, you're amazing, Katie.
If our listeners are vibing withyou.
Where can they find you onsocial media so that they can go
and follow you and listeners youneed to follow Katie Yes to see
her reels and her stories.
She's amazing.
So where can people find youkatie?
Katey (51:42):
People can find me on Instagram.
My handle I believe is justhealthy evolution By Katie and I
have a website I'm actuallymeeting with my web designer
after this call I had a websiteand it's great, but I completely
rebranded to something.
That's more my vibe.
(52:02):
So different colors, differentschemes.
Everything is It's going to be alittle different over there.
And I made my first website twoyears ago and I've evolved.
It's called Healthy Evolutionand I've evolved in two years.
So my website needed an upgrade.
So it's getting an upgrade andit should be live.
So that's healthyevolution.
ca.
(52:23):
And Facebook, if you want tohang there too, I do have a lot
of people that find me onFacebook.
If you send me a friend requestthough if you could just send me
a message too, because friendrequests, I find people can just
follow you on Instagram.
But when I get a friend request,if it was like, just say, Hey,
and I won't be weird.
(52:43):
Don't worry.
Don't be like, Oh fuck.
She's going to hell me with allher shit.
No, I am not that person.
I am so not.
Now, if you want to join mybubble, that's totally cool, but
I'm not a hounder.
I'm not a shove it down yourthroat type, unless you choose
to follow my stuff, then yes,I'm going to share with you
daily my opinions and thoughts.
(53:04):
Cause it's my page.
I can do that.
But if you come into my inbox,don't worry, I won't be a crazy
person, but I just find onFacebook when people friend
requests me, if I have no mutualfriends.
I tend to not friend them back.
Yeah.
And if they have a mutual, I'llgo check.
I protect myself because you geta lot of creepers out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyways, those are the mainplaces that I like to hang out.
(53:30):
I love hanging out on Instagram.
That's my favorite place to hangout.
I love watching you onInstagram.
I have fun.
I just do.
And I just think life is reallyshort and I don't have time to
fuck around.
I have a lot of stuff I want todo and I only have 50 ish, 60,
70 years left to do it.
So who wants to fuck around inthat time?
(53:52):
When I got this opportunity toshare, I was hoping to get this
chance to share that messagewith others.
Like it's way too short and andif you are looking for a sober
coach and you want to start yourwellness journey and you don't
want to worry about me saying,Hey, let's get drinks on Friday
or whatever.
And I also don't hound people ifthat's their thing and they want
(54:14):
to come in my world and they arehaving drinks on Friday, we can
work that into your plan to Iwork with everybody, but I know
that I've been a real.
support to the sober communitythat's just wanting to live
differently.
Thank you for that.
Cause it's needed and it isneeded and really down to earth.
(54:35):
If you were, tell us what yoursweatshirt says.
Holy shitballs.
Holy shitballs.
I love that.
Katie, this has been an amazinginterview with you.
Your little nuggets, they justreally resonate with me and
stick with me.
And I truly feel like you aregoing to impact our listeners
and we will probably getmessages, direct messages from
(54:58):
people after your episode comesout with people telling us the
same things.
So I'm so grateful that youdecided to come and join us for
this conversation this evening.
And thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with us.
Oh, so appreciated.
And you're just an amazingperson.
It was my pleasure and I justwant to say thanks for the
(55:19):
invite.
I'm so happy.
We connected at that conferenceand now we're here so nice to
meet you, Katie.
I want to say thank you.
It's been such a pleasure tomeet you.
You're such a light.
You're such a great energy andwe love that.
You have such a good highvibration, which we've been
living at and trying to executeourselves since we gave up
(55:42):
alcohol.
Yeah.
It's a good, it's a good vibe.
It's a good place to hang out.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Lindsey (55:50):
Everybody, that is a wrap on today's episode.
Don't forget to head over toInstagram where you can follow
us at LAF Life Podcast andsubscribe to our show as well.
That is going to be superhelpful.
Getting us out there spreadingthe word and you just never know
who this could help.
So share this episode with yourfriends, your family, and
(56:12):
anybody that you think needssome positivity in their life.
So we'll be back next Tuesdaywith a brand new episode.
But until then, you guys knowwhat to do.
Keep laughing.
Kelly (56:27):
Thank you for listening.
Please give us a five starrating like and subscribe, share
on social media and tell yourfriends.
We love getting your feedbackand ideas of what you'd like to
hear on upcoming episodes of theLAF life podcast.
If you yourself are livingalcohol free and want to share
your story here, please reachout.
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