January 8, 2025 • 14 mins
Today on the podcast 'Landing Imperfect', I shared a personal story about my decision to quit alcohol. We explored the connection between ADHD and alcohol use, and why quitting can be so challenging. I emphasized the importance of finding your "why" for a sober life and surrounding yourself with a strong support system. Remember, recovery is a journey and asking for help is a sign of strength. Tune in to find strategies and inspiration for taking that first step toward a healthier, sober life. Let's do this together!
00:00 Sober nine months; overcame challenges, started podcast.
06:27 Alcohol's fleeting relief led to worsened symptoms.
07:23 To improve herself and model self-control.
12:00 Intentional movement, seek help, recovery journey possible.
Follow Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jenniferlander9
Resources for additional support:
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
- National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA):1 https://www.nih.gov/about-nih/what-we-do/nih-almanac/national-institute-drug-abuse-nida
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audio Only - All Participan (00:00):
And alcohol was temporarily giving
(00:02):
me some relief from all of thosesymptoms until it wasn't.
And as quickly as it helped.
It just as quickly worsened mysymptoms.
April 14th, 2024, I showed upalone to my son's basketball
game, looking and feeling likecomplete garbage, bloodshot
eyes, sunglasses on indoors, anda messy bun.
(00:25):
The 13th started by celebratingat a friend's wedding with my
husband and some close friends.
We were having a blast.
laughing, dancing the nightaway, and drinks were flowing.
I wouldn't have predicted thatthe start of that day would have
ended in such a mess.
Um, it was one of the worstfights that I have ever had with
(00:45):
my husband over something thatwasn't even worth fighting over,
and certainly a fight that wouldhave never happened with a sober
mind.
I stranded my husband at thehotel in the middle of the
night, Leaving him to figure outhow he was going to get to our
son's game in the morning.
I woke up with complete regret,anxiety, and deep sadness over
(01:07):
what had happened just hoursbefore I had enough, the days
that followed were hard torecover from.
I cried every day, making apromise to myself that that
would be the last time that Ilive my life.
So completely out of control,hurting myself and the people
that I love most.
I spent years wanting to quitdrinking alcohol, but.
(01:29):
That night, something changedinside of me, and I'm proud to
say, with a lot of work andsupport from friends and family,
I have kept that promise.
And it's been nine months sinceI took a sip of alcohol.
Far from easy, but it's beenworth every single sober day.
So, for those of you who don'tknow me, I'm Jen Lander, a
psychiatric nurse practitionerwho started this podcast,
(01:51):
Landing Imperfect, over a yearago, wanting to help people with
their mental health struggles,perfectionistic traits, and
developing a positive mindset.
I abruptly stopped postingpodcast episodes in September
after taking a promotion at workand feeling very stressed.
and very overwhelmed while I wasadjusting to the new role.
In the past, I would have justgiven up on restarting this
(02:12):
podcast because historically,I've been an all or nothing
black or white thinker.
This gray area and feeling likea failure for falling short of
my goal to post a podcastepisode every week would have
stopped me dead in my tracks.
But, because we're all human,and there's no such thing as a
perfect person, shocker, I know,but it's true, I'm committed to
(02:35):
showing up for my community andproving that just because we
fall off track doesn't mean thatwe have to give up on ourselves
and our goals.
So, I'm dedicating this episodeto anyone who has fallen down
and picked themselves back up.
Today I want to talk about ADHDand alcohol and why it might be
harder for someone with ADHD toquit drinking and what to do
(02:55):
about it.
So, I myself have ADHD and I'llbe speaking from personal
experience in this episode.
Um, ADHD is a neurodevelopmentaldisorder that affects how the
brain functions in areas likeattention, behavior, and
impulsivity.
I'm going to bet by just hearingthat brief sentence about ADHD,
things are already starting toclick about how that might be
(03:17):
problematic for someone who hasADHD and chooses to drink
alcohol.
I want to note that challengesrelated to drinking alcohol
don't only affect people withADHD, but people who have ADHD
may experience worsening ADHDsymptoms related to their
alcohol use.
Anyone who drinks alcohol maychoose to do that to cope with
their anxiety.
It could be depression,loneliness.
(03:39):
low self esteem, those socialpressures that we all know
about, temptations, cravings,obsessive thoughts, lack of
support, trauma, or day to daytriggers.
They may feel like they have tocontinue drinking to prevent or
stop physical withdrawalsymptoms, which can be severely
uncomfortable.
(03:59):
This makes it even moredifficult to stay sober in those
early days of recovery.
Professional support may benecessary, so please open up to
a health care professional,because chronic alcohol use can
be deadly if it's stoppedabruptly.
And I can't stress that enough.
Please, please ask for help.
Um, I wasn't someone who drankevery day.
(04:20):
I mostly would drink on theweekends.
There were several reasons why Ichose to drink.
So not only do I have ADHD, butI also am introverted and I'm
married to an extrovert.
So my husband is a very socialperson.
And before I learned how torespect what my needs were as an
introvert, I often overextendedmyself to keep up with my
(04:41):
husband whose battery was beingcharged, being around others
while my battery was beingdrained.
Someone who's introverted uses alot of energy to socialize.
And if you add ADHD on top ofthat, I was exhausting myself
trying to organize my thoughtsand be as social as possible.
Um, just being around friendsand family without being,
(05:03):
having, without having much timeto recharge my battery.
Um, because if you'reintroverted, You really need
that time to decrease thatstimulation and just be by
yourself.
Um, alcohol was this unhealthytool that I was using to help
myself loosen up and become moretalkative in those social
situations.
(05:24):
People with ADHD often haveimbalances in dopamine,
norepinephrine, and serotonin.
Dopamine is crucial for ourmotivation, reward pathways, and
attention.
So alcohol was, alcohol caninitially Increased dopamine
levels, which can give people asense of pleasure and reward.
(05:44):
So I'm sure you can see howappealing that would be to
someone who has ADHD with alower baseline level of
dopamine.
Alcohol can also temporarilyincrease serotonin levels and it
can inhibit the release ofnorepinephrine.
When this happens, um, It canmake people feel more relaxed,
more calm initially, and it candecrease anxiety.
(06:07):
So I signed my ADHD self rightup for all those initial
feelings for years, because thesound of that is pretty darn
good for someone who has ADHDsymptoms.
For me, my ADHD symptoms includeanxiety, depression, emotional
dysregulation, process delays,processing delays, difficulty
(06:29):
focusing, and listening whenpeople are talking to me,
daydreaming, procrastination,that's a big one, jumping from
task to task without completingany of the tasks, and racing
thoughts.
And alcohol was temporarilygiving me some relief from all
of those symptoms until itwasn't.
And as quickly as it helped.
It just as quickly worsened mysymptoms.
(06:51):
So one night of fun wouldusually lead to three or four
days of out of control ADHDsymptoms.
And I knew that one positivenight equaled four negative days
for me.
I still chose the negativebecause the power of that
positive effect had a stronghold on me.
Until my why became stronger.
I read this quote in a bookcalled man's search for meeting,
(07:13):
meaning recently.
And it wasn't the author'squote, but he referenced it in a
book.
And I'm sure many of you haveheard it before the quote is he
who has a why to live for canbear almost anyhow.
I fully believe in this quote.
It is my why that keeps me fromthose social pressures or the
(07:35):
temptations to drink.
So everyone's why will look alittle bit different, but my why
is to be a better wife and abetter mom.
A wife who doesn't start fightswith her husband because her
brain's flooded with alcohol, ora mom who can be called anytime,
day or night, to pick up my kidswithout worrying about having
drink and not being able to pickthem up or drive them around.
(07:58):
Modeling self control to my kidsand showing them that I can
manage my mental health andhealthy ways.
I do this by putting in a lot ofeffort and learning and
practicing healthy ways to copewith my anxiety, depression in
the past and ADHD symptoms.
My why also includes wanting tobe fully present and clear
(08:22):
minded at work and building upthis podcast.
My, um, My why is to heal andtake care of myself so that I
can mentor others and show themthat they can also heal and be
courageous and do really hardthings.
My why is this one life that Ihave to live.
I want it to be bigger than myneed to self sabotage myself any
(08:46):
longer.
Life can already be verychallenging, um, at times, and I
just got really sick of makingthings harder than they needed
to be for temporary relief.
I want Long term relief that Ican achieve in a healthy ways.
My why is so that I don't ruinthis one life that I have by
making impulsive decisions on anight that I'm just not thinking
(09:09):
clearly enough.
If you're in the same boat thatI was in nine months ago, I hope
that you take some time todayand picture what your life could
look like without alcohol.
Find your why.
Because once you got that lockedin, you can bear the how that
it's going to take to live asober life.
There's going to be challenges,and there's going to be
temptations and sobriety, soit's good to find a good support
(09:32):
system.
That's going to be key.
So surround yourself with soberpeople, people who support you,
people who love you.
I was so nervous to tell myfriends that I used to drink
with that I was no longerdrinking because I was worried.
That I wouldn't be fun to themanymore.
Um, there are times where I dochoose to not go to parties or
(09:52):
gatherings if I'm not in a goodmindset.
This alone can feel isolatingand it has been a challenge for
me.
The fear I had for years aboutbeing judged or not being
accepted by friends if I stoppeddrinking is the piece that kept
me drinking.
Or it's not the whole piece, butit's a piece that kept me
drinking even when I knew itwasn't a good choice for me.
(10:16):
What I'm about to say isn't andwon't be the case for everyone,
but it will be for some and itwas for me.
Once I had the courage to tellmy friends that I wasn't
drinking anymore, I was met witha lot of support and I'm
incredibly grateful for that.
With that being said, don't belike me and let fear keep you in
an unhealthy place because youjust may be surprised by the
(10:38):
love and support that you'regoing to find on the other end.
If you don't have support fromfriends and family, because
that's definitely not the casefor everyone.
You still don't have to gothrough this alone.
And I want to encourage you tofind support through support
groups like AA, smart recovery.
It could be a therapist, acoach.
Maybe it's God and your church.
Um, everyone's support will looka little bit different, but my
(11:01):
point here is that there issupport out there and it's.
Likely not going to come to you,and if it doesn't, then you go
to it.
You find the support that youneed because it is out there
waiting for you.
There's some additionalresources that I will link in
the show notes for anyone that'slistening in the U.
S., so take a peek at those ifyou're looking for a little bit
more support.
(11:21):
Um, not only is good support,like a good support team crucial
for your recovery and sustainingsobriety, But it's also
important to learn and topractice ways to cope with
stress, anxiety, depression, andADHD in healthy ways.
So you can do this in manydifferent ways.
This may look like finding ahobby that you enjoy.
I recently started learning howto make sourdough, so that's
(11:44):
been a hobby of mine.
It's been fun, but it'sdefinitely been a challenge.
Um, reading is another interestof mine.
Practicing mindfulness andrelaxation techniques can be
helpful.
I have personally been using thesauna and I've been doing breath
work daily to help improve mysleep, which has really been
really helpful for me, reducinganxiety, reducing stress and
(12:08):
getting enough sleep at night.
Getting movement in every day isa great way to boost your mood.
So the winter has been a littlebit more challenging for me to
get out and get some movement.
So I have to be very intentionalabout.
Moving my body during this time.
If you have comorbidities thatare an underlying cause of
alcohol use, much like my ADHDand anxiety were for me, then I
(12:32):
encourage you to find aprofessional who has experience
working with substance useaddictions and ADHD, or whatever
the underlying mental healthcondition or concern is, if you
are thinking about gettingsober, I encourage you to take
the first step today.
Your recovery is possible, and Iwish for your life to be blessed
and free from the hold thatalcohol or any other substances
(12:55):
may have on it.
There will be ups and downs.
Recovery is a journey, and somedays will be more challenging
than others, but I believe inyou, and I believe it's worth
it.
So be patient with yourself andbe patient with those who are
around you that are trying toget sober as well.
We all deserve some compassionwhile we try to create new paths
(13:16):
in our lives.
Please share this episode withsomeone who you would like to
see living their very best soberlife.
If this episode helped you,please Um, if you found it
useful and you learned somethingfrom it and enjoyed it, then
please consider writing a reviewon the podcast platform that you
listen on.
A sentence or two makes a hugedifference in spreading this
(13:39):
message to others.
And also letting me know that,um, Um, you liked it and if you
have any suggestions that you'dlike me to know so that I can
better help you or anyone elsewho may be listening.
So I'm sending you so much loveand I hope that you have the
very best day and I'll see younext time on landing imperfect.
(14:01):
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
And alcohol was temporarily giving
(00:02):
me some relief from all of thosesymptoms until it wasn't.
And as quickly as it helped.
It just as quickly worsened mysymptoms.
April 14th, 2024, I showed upalone to my son's basketball
game, looking and feeling likecomplete garbage, bloodshot
eyes, sunglasses on indoors, anda messy bun.
(00:25):
The 13th started by celebratingat a friend's wedding with my
husband and some close friends.
We were having a blast.
laughing, dancing the nightaway, and drinks were flowing.
I wouldn't have predicted thatthe start of that day would have
ended in such a mess.
Um, it was one of the worstfights that I have ever had with
(00:45):
my husband over something thatwasn't even worth fighting over,
and certainly a fight that wouldhave never happened with a sober
mind.
I stranded my husband at thehotel in the middle of the
night, Leaving him to figure outhow he was going to get to our
son's game in the morning.
I woke up with complete regret,anxiety, and deep sadness over
(01:07):
what had happened just hoursbefore I had enough, the days
that followed were hard torecover from.
I cried every day, making apromise to myself that that
would be the last time that Ilive my life.
So completely out of control,hurting myself and the people
that I love most.
I spent years wanting to quitdrinking alcohol, but.
(01:29):
That night, something changedinside of me, and I'm proud to
say, with a lot of work andsupport from friends and family,
I have kept that promise.
And it's been nine months sinceI took a sip of alcohol.
Far from easy, but it's beenworth every single sober day.
So, for those of you who don'tknow me, I'm Jen Lander, a
psychiatric nurse practitionerwho started this podcast,
(01:51):
Landing Imperfect, over a yearago, wanting to help people with
their mental health struggles,perfectionistic traits, and
developing a positive mindset.
I abruptly stopped postingpodcast episodes in September
after taking a promotion at workand feeling very stressed.
and very overwhelmed while I wasadjusting to the new role.
In the past, I would have justgiven up on restarting this
(02:12):
podcast because historically,I've been an all or nothing
black or white thinker.
This gray area and feeling likea failure for falling short of
my goal to post a podcastepisode every week would have
stopped me dead in my tracks.
But, because we're all human,and there's no such thing as a
perfect person, shocker, I know,but it's true, I'm committed to
(02:35):
showing up for my community andproving that just because we
fall off track doesn't mean thatwe have to give up on ourselves
and our goals.
So, I'm dedicating this episodeto anyone who has fallen down
and picked themselves back up.
Today I want to talk about ADHDand alcohol and why it might be
harder for someone with ADHD toquit drinking and what to do
(02:55):
about it.
So, I myself have ADHD and I'llbe speaking from personal
experience in this episode.
Um, ADHD is a neurodevelopmentaldisorder that affects how the
brain functions in areas likeattention, behavior, and
impulsivity.
I'm going to bet by just hearingthat brief sentence about ADHD,
things are already starting toclick about how that might be
(03:17):
problematic for someone who hasADHD and chooses to drink
alcohol.
I want to note that challengesrelated to drinking alcohol
don't only affect people withADHD, but people who have ADHD
may experience worsening ADHDsymptoms related to their
alcohol use.
Anyone who drinks alcohol maychoose to do that to cope with
their anxiety.
It could be depression,loneliness.
(03:39):
low self esteem, those socialpressures that we all know
about, temptations, cravings,obsessive thoughts, lack of
support, trauma, or day to daytriggers.
They may feel like they have tocontinue drinking to prevent or
stop physical withdrawalsymptoms, which can be severely
uncomfortable.
(03:59):
This makes it even moredifficult to stay sober in those
early days of recovery.
Professional support may benecessary, so please open up to
a health care professional,because chronic alcohol use can
be deadly if it's stoppedabruptly.
And I can't stress that enough.
Please, please ask for help.
Um, I wasn't someone who drankevery day.
(04:20):
I mostly would drink on theweekends.
There were several reasons why Ichose to drink.
So not only do I have ADHD, butI also am introverted and I'm
married to an extrovert.
So my husband is a very socialperson.
And before I learned how torespect what my needs were as an
introvert, I often overextendedmyself to keep up with my
(04:41):
husband whose battery was beingcharged, being around others
while my battery was beingdrained.
Someone who's introverted uses alot of energy to socialize.
And if you add ADHD on top ofthat, I was exhausting myself
trying to organize my thoughtsand be as social as possible.
Um, just being around friendsand family without being,
(05:03):
having, without having much timeto recharge my battery.
Um, because if you'reintroverted, You really need
that time to decrease thatstimulation and just be by
yourself.
Um, alcohol was this unhealthytool that I was using to help
myself loosen up and become moretalkative in those social
situations.
(05:24):
People with ADHD often haveimbalances in dopamine,
norepinephrine, and serotonin.
Dopamine is crucial for ourmotivation, reward pathways, and
attention.
So alcohol was, alcohol caninitially Increased dopamine
levels, which can give people asense of pleasure and reward.
(05:44):
So I'm sure you can see howappealing that would be to
someone who has ADHD with alower baseline level of
dopamine.
Alcohol can also temporarilyincrease serotonin levels and it
can inhibit the release ofnorepinephrine.
When this happens, um, It canmake people feel more relaxed,
more calm initially, and it candecrease anxiety.
(06:07):
So I signed my ADHD self rightup for all those initial
feelings for years, because thesound of that is pretty darn
good for someone who has ADHDsymptoms.
For me, my ADHD symptoms includeanxiety, depression, emotional
dysregulation, process delays,processing delays, difficulty
(06:29):
focusing, and listening whenpeople are talking to me,
daydreaming, procrastination,that's a big one, jumping from
task to task without completingany of the tasks, and racing
thoughts.
And alcohol was temporarilygiving me some relief from all
of those symptoms until itwasn't.
And as quickly as it helped.
It just as quickly worsened mysymptoms.
(06:51):
So one night of fun wouldusually lead to three or four
days of out of control ADHDsymptoms.
And I knew that one positivenight equaled four negative days
for me.
I still chose the negativebecause the power of that
positive effect had a stronghold on me.
Until my why became stronger.
I read this quote in a bookcalled man's search for meeting,
(07:13):
meaning recently.
And it wasn't the author'squote, but he referenced it in a
book.
And I'm sure many of you haveheard it before the quote is he
who has a why to live for canbear almost anyhow.
I fully believe in this quote.
It is my why that keeps me fromthose social pressures or the
(07:35):
temptations to drink.
So everyone's why will look alittle bit different, but my why
is to be a better wife and abetter mom.
A wife who doesn't start fightswith her husband because her
brain's flooded with alcohol, ora mom who can be called anytime,
day or night, to pick up my kidswithout worrying about having
drink and not being able to pickthem up or drive them around.
(07:58):
Modeling self control to my kidsand showing them that I can
manage my mental health andhealthy ways.
I do this by putting in a lot ofeffort and learning and
practicing healthy ways to copewith my anxiety, depression in
the past and ADHD symptoms.
My why also includes wanting tobe fully present and clear
(08:22):
minded at work and building upthis podcast.
My, um, My why is to heal andtake care of myself so that I
can mentor others and show themthat they can also heal and be
courageous and do really hardthings.
My why is this one life that Ihave to live.
I want it to be bigger than myneed to self sabotage myself any
(08:46):
longer.
Life can already be verychallenging, um, at times, and I
just got really sick of makingthings harder than they needed
to be for temporary relief.
I want Long term relief that Ican achieve in a healthy ways.
My why is so that I don't ruinthis one life that I have by
making impulsive decisions on anight that I'm just not thinking
(09:09):
clearly enough.
If you're in the same boat thatI was in nine months ago, I hope
that you take some time todayand picture what your life could
look like without alcohol.
Find your why.
Because once you got that lockedin, you can bear the how that
it's going to take to live asober life.
There's going to be challenges,and there's going to be
temptations and sobriety, soit's good to find a good support
(09:32):
system.
That's going to be key.
So surround yourself with soberpeople, people who support you,
people who love you.
I was so nervous to tell myfriends that I used to drink
with that I was no longerdrinking because I was worried.
That I wouldn't be fun to themanymore.
Um, there are times where I dochoose to not go to parties or
(09:52):
gatherings if I'm not in a goodmindset.
This alone can feel isolatingand it has been a challenge for
me.
The fear I had for years aboutbeing judged or not being
accepted by friends if I stoppeddrinking is the piece that kept
me drinking.
Or it's not the whole piece, butit's a piece that kept me
drinking even when I knew itwasn't a good choice for me.
(10:16):
What I'm about to say isn't andwon't be the case for everyone,
but it will be for some and itwas for me.
Once I had the courage to tellmy friends that I wasn't
drinking anymore, I was met witha lot of support and I'm
incredibly grateful for that.
With that being said, don't belike me and let fear keep you in
an unhealthy place because youjust may be surprised by the
(10:38):
love and support that you'regoing to find on the other end.
If you don't have support fromfriends and family, because
that's definitely not the casefor everyone.
You still don't have to gothrough this alone.
And I want to encourage you tofind support through support
groups like AA, smart recovery.
It could be a therapist, acoach.
Maybe it's God and your church.
Um, everyone's support will looka little bit different, but my
(11:01):
point here is that there issupport out there and it's.
Likely not going to come to you,and if it doesn't, then you go
to it.
You find the support that youneed because it is out there
waiting for you.
There's some additionalresources that I will link in
the show notes for anyone that'slistening in the U.
S., so take a peek at those ifyou're looking for a little bit
more support.
(11:21):
Um, not only is good support,like a good support team crucial
for your recovery and sustainingsobriety, But it's also
important to learn and topractice ways to cope with
stress, anxiety, depression, andADHD in healthy ways.
So you can do this in manydifferent ways.
This may look like finding ahobby that you enjoy.
I recently started learning howto make sourdough, so that's
(11:44):
been a hobby of mine.
It's been fun, but it'sdefinitely been a challenge.
Um, reading is another interestof mine.
Practicing mindfulness andrelaxation techniques can be
helpful.
I have personally been using thesauna and I've been doing breath
work daily to help improve mysleep, which has really been
really helpful for me, reducinganxiety, reducing stress and
(12:08):
getting enough sleep at night.
Getting movement in every day isa great way to boost your mood.
So the winter has been a littlebit more challenging for me to
get out and get some movement.
So I have to be very intentionalabout.
Moving my body during this time.
If you have comorbidities thatare an underlying cause of
alcohol use, much like my ADHDand anxiety were for me, then I
(12:32):
encourage you to find aprofessional who has experience
working with substance useaddictions and ADHD, or whatever
the underlying mental healthcondition or concern is, if you
are thinking about gettingsober, I encourage you to take
the first step today.
Your recovery is possible, and Iwish for your life to be blessed
and free from the hold thatalcohol or any other substances
(12:55):
may have on it.
There will be ups and downs.
Recovery is a journey, and somedays will be more challenging
than others, but I believe inyou, and I believe it's worth
it.
So be patient with yourself andbe patient with those who are
around you that are trying toget sober as well.
We all deserve some compassionwhile we try to create new paths
(13:16):
in our lives.
Please share this episode withsomeone who you would like to
see living their very best soberlife.
If this episode helped you,please Um, if you found it
useful and you learned somethingfrom it and enjoyed it, then
please consider writing a reviewon the podcast platform that you
listen on.
A sentence or two makes a hugedifference in spreading this
(13:39):
message to others.
And also letting me know that,um, Um, you liked it and if you
have any suggestions that you'dlike me to know so that I can
better help you or anyone elsewho may be listening.
So I'm sending you so much loveand I hope that you have the
very best day and I'll see younext time on landing imperfect.
(14:01):
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
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