August 3, 2024 • 11 mins
In today's episode, we're going to be talking about the important and sensitive topic of negative body image.
As a psychiatric nurse practitioner specializing in treating eating disorders, I've seen firsthand how negative body image can impact people of all ages, genders and sizes. We'll explore some of the roots of negative body image, including unrealistic media portrayals, social comparison, societal pressures, and personal experiences like bullying or trauma.
I'll also share some of my own story and how a traumatic dog bite I experienced as a child left physical and emotional scars that impacted my own body image for years.
Most importantly, we'll discuss coping strategies and a healthier approach I call "body neutrality" - accepting your body without judgment and focusing on what it can do, not just how it looks.
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or an eating disorder, know that you're not alone and that healing is possible. I hope this episode helps provide some guidance and resources for your journey.
So let's dive into this important discussion on negative body image, its causes, and how we can cultivate a healthier relationship with our bodies and ourselves.
00:00 Social media presents a curated view. Be mindful.
03:13 Challenge societal beauty standards, build genuine connections.
08:21 School bullying led to lasting facial scar.
Follow Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
Resources:
Landing Imperfect Website
https://landingimperfect.godaddysites.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So when I was 12 years old, Iwas bitten the face when I was
(00:03):
attacked by a dog.
And it got so close to my eyeand then on my neck, my carotid
artery.
So it was very, very fortunatethat it didn't take my eye out
and it didn't kill me.
Welcome to this episode forthose who don't know, my name is
Jen and I'm a psychiatric nursepractitioner and I specialize in
(00:24):
treating eating disorders.
And today I want to talk, talkabout a topic that.
Is very common with thispopulation and its negative body
image.
So this is a topic that reallyaffects millions of people
regardless of age, gender, orsize.
So I want to explore some.
Roots.
Of negative body image and a.
(00:45):
We'll discuss some practicaltips that can help you live a
healthier life and have ahealthier relationship with your
body.
Negative body images like thisuninvited guests that can creep
into our lives and wreak havocon our self esteem and just our
overall wellbeing.
So I want to explore some thingsthat can be the source of
(01:06):
negative body image.
And one of the things we couldtalk about is the media.
Media.
The media has.
A lot of unrealistic beautystandards, there's airbrushed
images.
I mean, the media cansignificantly impact how we
perceive our bodies.
So the constant.
Um, showing of these idolizedimages can just create this
(01:29):
distorted perception of what isconsidered normal.
Or even beautiful.
So this can lead to us feelinginadequate or having, and
struggling with feelings ofshame.
This is because we're comparingourselves to unattainable
standards.
It's crucial that we're beingmindful of the media's influence
(01:51):
and that we're.
We're seeking out diverserepresentations of what beauty
truly is.
The other thing that we couldtalk about is social comparison.
We are living in a day and agewhere there is social media, all
around us, and many of us areusing social media on a daily
basis.
And it's easy to compareourselves to other people.
(02:12):
The platforms like Instagram andTik TOK really do a good job of
showcasing.
Highlights of people's lives andit's often focusing on physical
appearance, unfortunately.
So this can create a distortedview of reality, and it just
leads to feelings of envy andeven self doubt and some people.
(02:33):
I just want you to remember thatsocial media is a highlight
reel.
It's not a true representationof someone's life.
And I'm not saying that there'sanything wrong with that.
You know, people.
People do want to put their bestfoot forward and they do want to
show very positive things abouttheir lives.
It's natural that it is ahighlight reel.
But please be mindful of that.
(02:53):
What you are seeing.
And how you're feeling about, ohmy gosh.
Like, I feel this way and I'mstruggling with negative body
image, but it looks like theyhave it all together and they're
doing great.
Okay.
Well, it's a 32nd reel most ofthe time, you know, there's a
lot of things that are going onbehind the camera that we don't
know about and they could bestruggling as well.
(03:13):
So just be very mindful of that.
And try focusing on building.
Genuine connections on socialmedia um, so societal pressures
to conform to this specificbody.
Uh, IDEO can often contribute tobody image issues.
Um, there's cultural messagesthat often influence the NIS as
(03:34):
a sign of success as a sign ofbeauty and, and health.
So it's important to challengethose narrow beauty.
Ideals and, and try tocelebrate.
The beauty of diversity.
And then personal experiences sopast traumas, um, this can be
bullying or weight-basedteasing.
This can leave really lastingscars on her body image.
(03:58):
So these experiences can shapeour self perception and create a
negative body image.
It is essential to address theimpact of these experiences.
If it's anything that you havestruggled with or gone through
in your life, and you can dothat through therapy or.
Or finding other ways to supportso that you can heal and rebuild
a positive body image.
(04:20):
And I want to emphasize thatit's okay to struggle with body
image.
You're not alone.
It's a very common humanexperience.
The key is to develop tools andstrategies to challenge those
negative thoughts and to build ahealthy relationship with your
body.
So some of the things that youcan try are mindfulness, um,
practices.
This involves paying attentionto the present moment without
(04:43):
feelings of judgment.
And it helps us to become awareof what our thoughts are and
what our feelings are about ourbody without getting caught up
in them.
And by practicing mindfulnessactivities we can.
Develop a greater sense ofacceptance and appreciation for
our bodies and make sure thatwe're practicing self-compassion
(05:04):
too.
So it's about treating yourselfwith kindness and understanding
just as you would a friend.
And this involves challengingthose negative thoughts and
replacing them with supportivemessages.
Um, and then we could talk aboutbody neutrality.
So shifting your focus from bodypositivity, there's a lot of
messages, you know, like we needto focus on body positivity,
(05:25):
body positivity, but sometimesthat's unrealistic for a lot of
people, especially when you'restruggling with negative body
image to go from negative bodyimage, straight to positive.
So focusing on body neutralitycan be very helpful for some
people.
So instead of striving for thatconstant love and acceptance of
your body, Body neutralityinvolves accepting your body as
(05:47):
it is without judgment.
It's about recognizing that yourbody is a vessel that allows you
to experience life rather thansolely defining your worth.
And by focusing and practicingbody neutrality.
It helps you to focus on whatyour body can do, not what it
looks like.
Healthy lifestyle habits.
So focusing on.
(06:08):
Your overall wellbeing can helpimprove your body image.
Make sure that you're engagingin regular, um, physical
activity, get your blood flow ina little bit there and making
sure it's something that youenjoy.
Joyful movement, that's reallykey.
And that's very important.
Nourishing your body withbalanced nutrition and getting
enough sleep.
All of those things are soessential for both your physical
(06:29):
and your mental health.
Remember that it's about takingcare of your body, not punishing
it.
And I want to say that again, itis about taking care of your
body.
Not punching it.
By prioritizing.
A healthier lifestyle, you'llfeel stronger and more energized
and more confident in your body.
So I know firsthand thechallenges of body image.
(06:51):
There were times when I felttrapped in this cycle of self
criticism and dissatisfaction,So when I was 12 years old, I
was bitten the face when I wasattacked by a dog.
And it got so close to my eyeand then on my neck, my carotid
artery.
So it was very, very fortunatethat it didn't take my eye out
(07:12):
and it didn't kill me.
Um, But I will say when I wentto the ER, when I was taken to
the ER, after this happened, Iwas in the ER room.
And there was a healthcareworker there who kind of looked
back.
At me and just mouth the wordslike, oh my God.
And I, that honestly crushed me.
(07:34):
I just was like, oh my God, myface.
Cause I hadn't seen myself atthat point.
And I was like, oh my God, like,what is this?
Like, I'm so ugly.
This is terrible.
Like, it just, it was soupsetting to me.
And then after the surgery hadhappened, I remember I was
having a very hard time lookingat myself in the mirror.
And I had asked my dad if hecould cover up some of the
(07:55):
mirrors and he was so sweet andI can only imagine as a parent,
how crushing that was for him tohear me say that.
Um, and he was so sweet and hewas so kind, and he was just
telling me that, you know, I'mbeautiful and it's okay.
You know, so he just was tryingto validate and support me the
best that he could.
(08:16):
But it still was very hard forme because I was very aware that
people were staring at me whileI was healing.
And then this happened in thesummertime.
So when I went back to school asa seventh grader, there was a
boy who.
Was not a very nice boy.
And he was like mimicking a dogbite, like being attacked, like
(08:37):
he was putting his hands up tohis face and going, ah, like,
like someone was being like adog was attacking him.
Well, I was just walking downthe hall and that was also very
upsetting to me, you know, causeI'm going through my own
emotional experience and justtrying to recover from something
that was very traumatic.
Um, For me.
So it's something that I don'tlove that I have a scar on my
(09:01):
face, even as an almost 40 yearold, when this happened to me
when I was 12 years old.
So it's not something that Ilove about myself or my body.
And.
It's something that I've had topractice over and over.
It's not about body positivityand loving everything about my
body, because I have a scar onmy face that I do not love, and
(09:22):
I don't think I'll ever lovenow.
I'm very grateful that I'malive.
And I'm very grateful that Ihave both my eyes and I can see,
you know, cause it could havebeen a lot worse.
But it's more about mepracticing body neutrality
versus body positivity when itcomes to my face and this the
scar.
Um, so, and I will say that,yes, I do have body neutrality.
(09:45):
Now.
I.
I mean, obviously I have my dayswhere it's still is upsetting or
it still bothers me, but I justtry to say, okay, well, you can
see, you know, you're alive likeI've had beautiful babies, like
so many wonderful experiences inlife, so just trying to be
grateful and having some selfcompassion for.
(10:05):
That experience in my life andfocusing on neutrality, not
positivity.
So by time, by practicing andhaving support I've learned, and
I know that anyone can learn tohave a healthy relationship with
their bodies.
It's an ongoing journey, like Iwas saying, and there will be
some ups and downs, but progressis possible.
(10:26):
I want you to remember that youare worthy of love and
acceptance just as you are.
And if you are struggling withbody image or an eating
disorder, please reach out forhelp.
There are resources availablethat can support you.
I really, really appreciate youtaking a lesson and until next
time, please take good care ofyour body.
(10:48):
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
(11:09):
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
So when I was 12 years old, Iwas bitten the face when I was
(00:03):
attacked by a dog.
And it got so close to my eyeand then on my neck, my carotid
artery.
So it was very, very fortunatethat it didn't take my eye out
and it didn't kill me.
Welcome to this episode forthose who don't know, my name is
Jen and I'm a psychiatric nursepractitioner and I specialize in
(00:24):
treating eating disorders.
And today I want to talk, talkabout a topic that.
Is very common with thispopulation and its negative body
image.
So this is a topic that reallyaffects millions of people
regardless of age, gender, orsize.
So I want to explore some.
Roots.
Of negative body image and a.
(00:45):
We'll discuss some practicaltips that can help you live a
healthier life and have ahealthier relationship with your
body.
Negative body images like thisuninvited guests that can creep
into our lives and wreak havocon our self esteem and just our
overall wellbeing.
So I want to explore some thingsthat can be the source of
(01:06):
negative body image.
And one of the things we couldtalk about is the media.
Media.
The media has.
A lot of unrealistic beautystandards, there's airbrushed
images.
I mean, the media cansignificantly impact how we
perceive our bodies.
So the constant.
Um, showing of these idolizedimages can just create this
(01:29):
distorted perception of what isconsidered normal.
Or even beautiful.
So this can lead to us feelinginadequate or having, and
struggling with feelings ofshame.
This is because we're comparingourselves to unattainable
standards.
It's crucial that we're beingmindful of the media's influence
(01:51):
and that we're.
We're seeking out diverserepresentations of what beauty
truly is.
The other thing that we couldtalk about is social comparison.
We are living in a day and agewhere there is social media, all
around us, and many of us areusing social media on a daily
basis.
And it's easy to compareourselves to other people.
(02:12):
The platforms like Instagram andTik TOK really do a good job of
showcasing.
Highlights of people's lives andit's often focusing on physical
appearance, unfortunately.
So this can create a distortedview of reality, and it just
leads to feelings of envy andeven self doubt and some people.
(02:33):
I just want you to remember thatsocial media is a highlight
reel.
It's not a true representationof someone's life.
And I'm not saying that there'sanything wrong with that.
You know, people.
People do want to put their bestfoot forward and they do want to
show very positive things abouttheir lives.
It's natural that it is ahighlight reel.
But please be mindful of that.
(02:53):
What you are seeing.
And how you're feeling about, ohmy gosh.
Like, I feel this way and I'mstruggling with negative body
image, but it looks like theyhave it all together and they're
doing great.
Okay.
Well, it's a 32nd reel most ofthe time, you know, there's a
lot of things that are going onbehind the camera that we don't
know about and they could bestruggling as well.
(03:13):
So just be very mindful of that.
And try focusing on building.
Genuine connections on socialmedia um, so societal pressures
to conform to this specificbody.
Uh, IDEO can often contribute tobody image issues.
Um, there's cultural messagesthat often influence the NIS as
(03:34):
a sign of success as a sign ofbeauty and, and health.
So it's important to challengethose narrow beauty.
Ideals and, and try tocelebrate.
The beauty of diversity.
And then personal experiences sopast traumas, um, this can be
bullying or weight-basedteasing.
This can leave really lastingscars on her body image.
(03:58):
So these experiences can shapeour self perception and create a
negative body image.
It is essential to address theimpact of these experiences.
If it's anything that you havestruggled with or gone through
in your life, and you can dothat through therapy or.
Or finding other ways to supportso that you can heal and rebuild
a positive body image.
(04:20):
And I want to emphasize thatit's okay to struggle with body
image.
You're not alone.
It's a very common humanexperience.
The key is to develop tools andstrategies to challenge those
negative thoughts and to build ahealthy relationship with your
body.
So some of the things that youcan try are mindfulness, um,
practices.
This involves paying attentionto the present moment without
(04:43):
feelings of judgment.
And it helps us to become awareof what our thoughts are and
what our feelings are about ourbody without getting caught up
in them.
And by practicing mindfulnessactivities we can.
Develop a greater sense ofacceptance and appreciation for
our bodies and make sure thatwe're practicing self-compassion
(05:04):
too.
So it's about treating yourselfwith kindness and understanding
just as you would a friend.
And this involves challengingthose negative thoughts and
replacing them with supportivemessages.
Um, and then we could talk aboutbody neutrality.
So shifting your focus from bodypositivity, there's a lot of
messages, you know, like we needto focus on body positivity,
(05:25):
body positivity, but sometimesthat's unrealistic for a lot of
people, especially when you'restruggling with negative body
image to go from negative bodyimage, straight to positive.
So focusing on body neutralitycan be very helpful for some
people.
So instead of striving for thatconstant love and acceptance of
your body, Body neutralityinvolves accepting your body as
(05:47):
it is without judgment.
It's about recognizing that yourbody is a vessel that allows you
to experience life rather thansolely defining your worth.
And by focusing and practicingbody neutrality.
It helps you to focus on whatyour body can do, not what it
looks like.
Healthy lifestyle habits.
So focusing on.
(06:08):
Your overall wellbeing can helpimprove your body image.
Make sure that you're engagingin regular, um, physical
activity, get your blood flow ina little bit there and making
sure it's something that youenjoy.
Joyful movement, that's reallykey.
And that's very important.
Nourishing your body withbalanced nutrition and getting
enough sleep.
All of those things are soessential for both your physical
(06:29):
and your mental health.
Remember that it's about takingcare of your body, not punishing
it.
And I want to say that again, itis about taking care of your
body.
Not punching it.
By prioritizing.
A healthier lifestyle, you'llfeel stronger and more energized
and more confident in your body.
So I know firsthand thechallenges of body image.
(06:51):
There were times when I felttrapped in this cycle of self
criticism and dissatisfaction,So when I was 12 years old, I
was bitten the face when I wasattacked by a dog.
And it got so close to my eyeand then on my neck, my carotid
artery.
So it was very, very fortunatethat it didn't take my eye out
(07:12):
and it didn't kill me.
Um, But I will say when I wentto the ER, when I was taken to
the ER, after this happened, Iwas in the ER room.
And there was a healthcareworker there who kind of looked
back.
At me and just mouth the wordslike, oh my God.
And I, that honestly crushed me.
(07:34):
I just was like, oh my God, myface.
Cause I hadn't seen myself atthat point.
And I was like, oh my God, like,what is this?
Like, I'm so ugly.
This is terrible.
Like, it just, it was soupsetting to me.
And then after the surgery hadhappened, I remember I was
having a very hard time lookingat myself in the mirror.
And I had asked my dad if hecould cover up some of the
(07:55):
mirrors and he was so sweet andI can only imagine as a parent,
how crushing that was for him tohear me say that.
Um, and he was so sweet and hewas so kind, and he was just
telling me that, you know, I'mbeautiful and it's okay.
You know, so he just was tryingto validate and support me the
best that he could.
(08:16):
But it still was very hard forme because I was very aware that
people were staring at me whileI was healing.
And then this happened in thesummertime.
So when I went back to school asa seventh grader, there was a
boy who.
Was not a very nice boy.
And he was like mimicking a dogbite, like being attacked, like
(08:37):
he was putting his hands up tohis face and going, ah, like,
like someone was being like adog was attacking him.
Well, I was just walking downthe hall and that was also very
upsetting to me, you know, causeI'm going through my own
emotional experience and justtrying to recover from something
that was very traumatic.
Um, For me.
So it's something that I don'tlove that I have a scar on my
(09:01):
face, even as an almost 40 yearold, when this happened to me
when I was 12 years old.
So it's not something that Ilove about myself or my body.
And.
It's something that I've had topractice over and over.
It's not about body positivityand loving everything about my
body, because I have a scar onmy face that I do not love, and
(09:22):
I don't think I'll ever lovenow.
I'm very grateful that I'malive.
And I'm very grateful that Ihave both my eyes and I can see,
you know, cause it could havebeen a lot worse.
But it's more about mepracticing body neutrality
versus body positivity when itcomes to my face and this the
scar.
Um, so, and I will say that,yes, I do have body neutrality.
(09:45):
Now.
I.
I mean, obviously I have my dayswhere it's still is upsetting or
it still bothers me, but I justtry to say, okay, well, you can
see, you know, you're alive likeI've had beautiful babies, like
so many wonderful experiences inlife, so just trying to be
grateful and having some selfcompassion for.
(10:05):
That experience in my life andfocusing on neutrality, not
positivity.
So by time, by practicing andhaving support I've learned, and
I know that anyone can learn tohave a healthy relationship with
their bodies.
It's an ongoing journey, like Iwas saying, and there will be
some ups and downs, but progressis possible.
(10:26):
I want you to remember that youare worthy of love and
acceptance just as you are.
And if you are struggling withbody image or an eating
disorder, please reach out forhelp.
There are resources availablethat can support you.
I really, really appreciate youtaking a lesson and until next
time, please take good care ofyour body.
(10:48):
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
(11:09):
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.