April 4, 2025 • 19 mins
On this episode of Landing Imperfect, host Jen Lander dives into the complex journey of making lasting behavioral changes. She explores why shifting habits can feel overwhelmingly difficult and the subconscious barriers that often hold us back. Jen explains how our brains are wired for efficiency, making familiar routines, even if unhealthy, hard to break free from. With personal anecdotes, she discusses the fear of the unknown and shares her own hurdles in launching a successful podcast. The episode is rich with practical strategies, from setting clear goals and celebrating small victories to embracing mindfulness and discipline as tools for change. Jen offers encouragement and concrete steps for listeners striving to rewire their minds, create new neural pathways, and ultimately transform their lives into what they truly want them to be. This episode is about embracing progress, overcoming fear, and never giving up on the journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves.
00:00 Overcoming Barriers to Behavioral Change
04:56 Embracing Change: Overcoming Familiarity
07:26 Breaking Comfort, Embracing Change
11:32 "Goal Setting for Healthy Living"
13:34 "Discipline Over Motivation: Key to Success"
17:17 "Lucky Deals: Thrilling Live Shopping"
Follow Jamie Gooch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathwork.ecc/
Follow Lucky Dealz on Whatnot App: https://www.whatnot.com/live/e4f2d074-6e45-40b5-8dc1-b4ebd2889315?referringSource=listings_serp&app=web&sharing_channel=copyLink&invitedBy=jenlan14593&sender_id=16464426
Follow Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jenniferlander9
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed.
(00:02):
Ready to finally release.
What's holding you back then.
You need to experience thetransformative power of somatic
breath.
Work with Jamie Gooch.
Jamie, isn't just a breathworkcoach.
She's a guide, a facilitator ofdeep healing and a true master
of connecting you to your body'score sense of balance.
Imagine releasing years oftension, finding profound, inner
(00:24):
peace, and unlocking a new foundsense of clarity and wellbeing.
Breath work with Jamie can helpyou reduce your stress and
anxiety release, emotionalblocks, improve, sleep, and
focus, deepen yourself-awareness and so much more.
I've personally experiencedJamie's incredible sessions and
I've always left feeling lighterand more centered.
(00:45):
She creates a safe, supportivespace where you can truly let
go.
Whether you're local or liveacross the country.
Jamie makes breathworkassessable.
She offers both deeply immersivein-person sessions and
convenient, transformativevirtual sessions.
So you can experience thebenefits from anywhere.
Don't let stress intentioncontrol your life any longer.
(01:07):
Take control of your wellbeingwith Jamie she's knowledgeable,
compassionate, and ready toguide you on your journey to a
calmer, more empowered.
You.
Jamie's contact info is linkedin the show notes so that you
can book your session today.
She rocks and you're absolutelygonna love her.
All right, everyone.
(01:28):
Welcome.
Welcome.
I'm so grateful that you'relistening in today.
We're going to talk a little bitabout how to make lasting
behavioral changes and what someof the barriers are that are
preventing us from making thosedesired changes.
So, if we're being real, thenwe're just going to name that
change in behaviors and habitsare really hard.
We all have habits and patternsthat we know aren't serving us.
(01:51):
But breaking free from themsometimes feels impossible.
So we know we should move ourbodies more, establish a healthy
relationship with food in ourbodies, be more patient, less
reactive, kinder, and morepresent.
Right.
But the gap between knowing anddoing can feel really
overwhelming.
So why has changed so difficult?
(02:12):
Our brains are wired forefficiency.
They crave predictability androutine.
So established habits, even theunhealthy ones, they require
less cognitive energy.
So it's like a well-worn path inthe forest.
It's easy to follow because it'sfamiliar.
The path has already been walkeddown time and time again, and
(02:34):
it's removed anything.
That's blocking its path.
So it's smooth to walk on Yourbrain wants to conserve that
energy.
So it puts everything it can onautopilot habits essentially are
pre-programmed responses, neuralpathways that have been
strengthened through repetition.
So when we try to introduce anew behavior, we're essentially
(02:55):
asking our brains to build a newroad and that takes time.
It takes effort.
And there's a lot of resistancethat we're going to get.
One of our biggest barriers isthe subconscious mind.
So it's operating beneath ourconscious awareness.
It's where our beliefs valuesand ingrained patterns live.
(03:15):
It loves the status quo.
So it's comfortable with thefamiliar, even if the familiar
is detrimental.
Let's use relationships for anexample.
So we can get into a pattern ofpicking the same partner over
and over again.
So different person, but samesituation.
So it feels like the sameperson, right?
We may be attracting people whoare, let's say controlling.
(03:38):
So this can be tricky because atfirst it can look like the two
of you were always together andyou think, oh my goodness, they
just, they can't get enough ofme.
They are so obsessed with me.
They just love me so much.
This can feel really good forsomeone who struggles with
feelings of unworthiness.
Then over time, this behaviorturns into when you guys aren't
(03:59):
together, then they want to knoweverywhere you are.
And they're calling 10, 15 timesa day asking you questions that
make you end up feelingdefensive or making you feel
bad.
And then you start trying tohelp calm the situation.
Let's say eventually thisrelationship ends not so great.
Number four, you know, it you'reright back into the same
scenario with a new partner.
(04:22):
So if the drive for attractingpartners like this is coming
from a place of unworthinessthat is within your subconscious
mind, until this belief isbrought to light and addressed,
the pattern will continue torepeat itself because it's
familiar.
It is driven by core beliefsthat are forming our behaviors.
(04:42):
Another major hurdle that someof us are jumping over is fear.
Fear of the unknown fear offailure.
Fear of discomfort.
We could be afraid of steppingoutside of our comfort zones and
facing the uncertainty thatcomes along with change.
We clean to familiar.
So even if it's painful, We willclean to it because it feels
safe.
(05:02):
This one is me.
I am currently jumping over thishurdle and I'll let you guys and
on how this is showing up in mylife.
So this is vulnerable to share,but because I believe that
lasting change does require someaction to overcome.
I'm going to dig deep here forsome courage and I'm going to
share.
Now a year and a half ago, I hada goal to start a very
(05:25):
successful podcast.
There was so much excitementwhen I first started this
podcast.
The goals that I had were, orstill have, are reaching
thousands of people and helpingthem reach their personal
mindset goals, and overcomemental health challenges.
It also includes having sponsorsfor the podcast so that I can
bring in money to help pay andsustain the show.
(05:47):
And I know that I'm aware ofsome of these changes that I
need to make to make thishappen.
I need let's say so.
I need to be.
Consistent.
I need to network.
I need to have guests on thepodcast.
I also need to be a guest onpodcast.
I need to promote and talk aboutmy podcast so that the word gets
out there and I need to be ableto reach out to companies for
(06:10):
sponsorships.
Well, somewhere down the line, Igot stuck in the weeds of being
busy.
So I was putting episodestogether, which take a fair
amount of time to put thesetogether.
If they're quality episodes.
And I was calling this busy andjust being consistent.
So I started becomingdiscouraged and telling myself,
I don't know how I'm going to beable to keep this up without
(06:31):
gaining some momentum.
So after about a year, I becameaware of what was going on here.
I was filling up my schedule tobecome so busy that I wasn't
doing the things that I neededto do to move the needle.
I wasn't asking other people tobe on their podcast.
I wasn't reaching out tocompanies for sponsorships.
(06:52):
I wasn't trying to makeconnections for networking with
other people.
And I was just convincing myselffor some time that it was
because I was so busy and I hadlow energy.
So anytime I have moved theneedle and made any progress, I
was vibing on a much higherfrequency, more energy, a more
positive attitude.
(07:12):
But the fear of actually beingseen, caused me to create all
this busy-ness so that Icouldn't find the time to do the
things that I really needed todo.
The fear that I held comes froma core belief of not being good
enough.
So I was hiding behind all thesetasks that took me nowhere, or
was just keeping me in mycomfort zone.
And now that I've called myselfout.
(07:34):
I'm going to need to take somesteps to make some changes here.
I need to build up some courageto reach out to people.
And I need to show up in abigger way than I've been
showing up.
So fear, isn't just going to goaway.
We need to build up some courageto do the work in the presence
of fear.
Then there's a lack of clarity.
So we often have vague goals.
(07:54):
Like I want to be healthier.
But without clear specificplans, we're setting ourselves
up for failure.
So we need to define whathealthier means.
Break it down into actionablesteps and then create a roadmap
for our success.
This can be challenging if youhave ADHD and you struggle with
executive function.
So decision-making planning,organizing.
(08:16):
Leaning into tools that can helpyou address these issues can
help you gain some clarity andstart putting a plan together to
help you reach your goals.
And let's not forget externalinfluences.
So the people that we surroundourselves with the environments
that we live in, the informationthat we're consuming.
All of these factors can eithersupport or sabotage our efforts.
(08:40):
If we're, let's say trying toquit smoking, but you have
friends who are consistentlylightened up.
You're facing an uphill battle.
Behavioral changes are already abattle, but adding in these
types of influences really domake this, that uphill battle as
a battling, just isn't hardenough, right?
To do it on flat ground flatground.
(09:00):
Let's just throw a hill in thereand we're going to raise the
risk of staying stuck in oldhabits.
No, thank you.
And I'm definitely notsuggesting that you need to get
all new friends because you wantto make these changes in your
life.
Instead, what can be helpful isputting some physical distance
between you and these friendsand family members temporarily.
So you can chat on the phone andyou can stay connected and meet
(09:22):
up occasionally, but trying tosurround yourself with
non-smokers while you'revulnerable to reverting back to
old habits is wise and it can bevery supportive.
Um, our brains are incrediblyadaptable neuroplasticity.
It allows our brains to changeand to reorganize themselves all
throughout our lives.
(09:43):
So when we repeatedly engage ina new behavior, we are rewiring
our brains and we're creatingnew neural connections.
Every thought, every action itstrengthens or weakens the
connection between neurons.
So this is where repetitioncomes in.
The more that we repeat.
The behavior, the stronger theneural pathway becomes making it
(10:04):
easier and more automatic.
So our autonomic nervoussystems, a and S play a role
here.
Our ans control, our involuntarybodily functions.
Including our stress response.
So when we're under stress, thesympathetic nervous system that
fight or flight response kicksin.
This can lead to reactivebehaviors, impulsive decisions,
(10:25):
and those emotional outburst.
And this response can show upwhen we're trying to make
changes in our behavior.
So we can learn to regulate ourans our autonomic nervous system
through practices likemindfulness, deep breathing and
meditation.
These practices activate theparasympathetic nervous system
that rest or digest response.
(10:47):
Which is helping us to feelrelaxed and to feel calm.
So when we're consistentlypracticing these techniques,
we're training our autonomicnervous system to respond
differently to stress, which canhelp us to feel more in control
and to have more intentionalbehaviors.
Which is a good thing, right?
So let's talk about some stepsthat we can take to actually
(11:08):
make changes.
First, you want to get clear onthe vision?
What do you want to change andbe specific?
So instead of saying, I want tobe healthier, say.
I want to exercise for 30minutes, three times a week, do
something that you enjoy forexercise.
Maybe it's swimming, playingbasketball with friends, walking
outside, lifting, whatever feelsgood.
(11:30):
So specific.
I want to exercise for 30minutes, three times a week, and
I want to have a healthyrelationship with food by
including proteins, fats carbsand two meals during the day.
And having snacks that aredelicious and feel my body.
And then we want to write ourgoals down.
So putting goals into writingthis makes them more tangible
(11:51):
and increases our commitment tothem.
And imagine yourself alreadyachieving your goals.
So seeing yourself exercise,eating in a way that brings joy
and fuels your brain and bodyand responding to stress more
calmly.
Visualizing your goals will helpyou to strengthen the neural
pathways that are associatedwith whatever behavior change
(12:13):
that you're trying to make.
And then create some positiveaffirmations because this will
reinforce the behavior as well.
I say things like I am strongand capable of achieving my
goals.
Well, heck yes you are.
And then repeat the statementdaily, especially in the morning
and before bed.
And this is also important.
Do not try to change everythingat once.
(12:36):
Start.
With one small manageable step.
So focus on consistency overintensity.
And this is a hard one for mebecause I, I tried to go.
Very hard.
So I need to just slow down,take it one small step at a
time.
Consistency is your friend focuson that.
(12:56):
So I'm definitely giving youseveral steps here, but maybe
you just want to start with oneor two of these steps this week,
and then you can start to stackthese.
So maybe in a week or two,you're going to add another step
towards reaching your goals.
And then repetition, repetition,repetition.
This is key.
So repeat your new behaviordaily, even when you don't feel
(13:20):
like it.
Every repetition strengthensneural pathways.
So you are absolutely going towake up.
I promise you this.
You are going to wake up one dayand feel very unmotivated to
repeat your new behavior.
This is normal, and this is whenyou need to rely on discipline,
not motivation.
So you don't have to feelmotivated to do the thing that
(13:41):
needs to get done.
You can do it anyways, becauseyou're going to rely on
discipline, not motivationduring those days.
Acknowledging and celebratingour achievements, even the small
ones.
So this will reinforce thebehavior as well, and it can
help keep you motivated mostdays, not all like we were
saying, but most days.
And then find a supportivecommunity.
(14:02):
So whether that's a friend, acoach, a family member, a
support group, having a supportsystem can really push you
through the unmotivated days.
It's calling them and talking tothem when you're having a tough
time weather.
You know, you're trying to justlet them know that you need some
advice or maybe you just need tolet them know.
(14:24):
I, I really just want to kind ofvent or talk to you.
I just need you to listen.
Because feeling alone duringyour journey can feel very
isolating.
So being able to reach out toyour support, people can be
extremely effective and it canfeel really good to have a habit
team behind you.
We want to make sure that we'reminimizing our exposure to the
(14:45):
triggers that lead us to oldhabits as well.
So we want to become aware ofour thoughts, our emotions, and
our triggers.
This will give you more controlover your reactions.
And we do this throughmindfulness practices.
So it's regulating our nervoussystems.
On the same note, we want to beable to manage our stress
levels.
So doing yoga, exercising,meditating, and deep breathing
(15:07):
exercises, deep breathingexercises are my jam.
I will go down swinging withlike, yes, yes, yes.
To breathing exercises.
It has been the most helpfulexercises to help reduce my
stress levels.
And I try to do this every day.
Sometimes I miss a day andthat's okay if you do.
Cause life happens.
(15:27):
But I try to do this every day.
And when I was going through avery stressful time in my life
recently, these exercises werenon-negotiable.
I was doing these one, two,sometimes three times a day.
And it really did help toregulate my stress levels.
So change.
It just takes time.
Your brain is working reallyhard to make changes, and this
(15:49):
is going deep down into cellularlevel.
So don't get discouraged.
If the change feels like it'staking much longer than we
expected.
This is when acknowledging theprogress that you've already
made comes in handy.
If you're starting to feelfrustrated.
So don't let yourself forgetabout the progress that you've
made.
Our subconscious mind learnsthrough repetition.
(16:12):
The more we repeat a behavior,the more ingrained it becomes,
you got into the habit throughrepetition and it is through
repetition that you're going toget out of the old habit and
into the new one.
With that consistent repetition,we can really create new neural
pathways and new patterns ofbehavior.
And that my friend is prettydang cool.
(16:32):
So changing behavior, like wesaid, it's definitely not easy.
It requires your commitment,your patience, and
self-compassion.
But it is very possible.
So we have the power to rewireour brains, to create new habits
and to transform our lives intowhat we want them to be.
So you are definitely notdefined by your old patterns.
(16:56):
You can choose a different path.
So hold on tight, embrace thejourney, celebrate the progress
and never give up on yourself.
I so appreciate you.
I'm so glad that you're a partof this community and until next
time.
I keep landing strong and keepstriving to become the best
version of yourself.
(17:17):
Looking for a thrilling new wayto snag amazing deals on your
favorite health and beautyproducts.
Then you need to check out luckydeals on the whatnot app.
What not is a dynamic liveshopping platform.
That's revolutionizing onlineretail.
And lucky deals brings anincredible energy to that
experience.
Simply download the free whatnotapp onto your phone search for
(17:38):
lucky deals and join theirlively streams.
You'll be able to participate inlive auctions, ask questions and
become a part of that vibrantcommunity.
Lucky deals offers fantasticbargains on a wide range of
health and beauty items, bothindividually and in bundles.
So you're sure to find somethingthat you love.
Plus they frequently hostexciting giveaways during their
(17:59):
shows, giving you a chance towin amazing products.
Enjoy the convenience ofshopping from the comfort of
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Lucky deal streams most days ofthe week.
So be sure to download thewhatnot app search for and
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(18:19):
shows.
Get ready for a fun andrewarding shopping, adventure
and experience the excitement oflive shopping.
With lucky deals on whatnot.
The link to the whatnot app willbe in the show notes.
Now, go get those deals Thankyou so much for joining me on
this episode of landing andperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
sharing this journey with me.
(18:41):
And remember, this podcast is apersonal project.
It's unrelated to the full-timework I do for the company.
I help treat those with eatingdisorders.
While I aim to provideprofessional and educational
inspirational content.
It's important to understandthat the podcast is not a
substitute for professionaltreatment.
(19:01):
So if you or someone that youknow is struggling with any
issues I've discussed, pleaseconsider seeking the help of a
qualified healthcareprofessional.
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed.
(00:02):
Ready to finally release.
What's holding you back then.
You need to experience thetransformative power of somatic
breath.
Work with Jamie Gooch.
Jamie, isn't just a breathworkcoach.
She's a guide, a facilitator ofdeep healing and a true master
of connecting you to your body'score sense of balance.
Imagine releasing years oftension, finding profound, inner
(00:24):
peace, and unlocking a new foundsense of clarity and wellbeing.
Breath work with Jamie can helpyou reduce your stress and
anxiety release, emotionalblocks, improve, sleep, and
focus, deepen yourself-awareness and so much more.
I've personally experiencedJamie's incredible sessions and
I've always left feeling lighterand more centered.
(00:45):
She creates a safe, supportivespace where you can truly let
go.
Whether you're local or liveacross the country.
Jamie makes breathworkassessable.
She offers both deeply immersivein-person sessions and
convenient, transformativevirtual sessions.
So you can experience thebenefits from anywhere.
Don't let stress intentioncontrol your life any longer.
(01:07):
Take control of your wellbeingwith Jamie she's knowledgeable,
compassionate, and ready toguide you on your journey to a
calmer, more empowered.
You.
Jamie's contact info is linkedin the show notes so that you
can book your session today.
She rocks and you're absolutelygonna love her.
All right, everyone.
(01:28):
Welcome.
Welcome.
I'm so grateful that you'relistening in today.
We're going to talk a little bitabout how to make lasting
behavioral changes and what someof the barriers are that are
preventing us from making thosedesired changes.
So, if we're being real, thenwe're just going to name that
change in behaviors and habitsare really hard.
We all have habits and patternsthat we know aren't serving us.
(01:51):
But breaking free from themsometimes feels impossible.
So we know we should move ourbodies more, establish a healthy
relationship with food in ourbodies, be more patient, less
reactive, kinder, and morepresent.
Right.
But the gap between knowing anddoing can feel really
overwhelming.
So why has changed so difficult?
(02:12):
Our brains are wired forefficiency.
They crave predictability androutine.
So established habits, even theunhealthy ones, they require
less cognitive energy.
So it's like a well-worn path inthe forest.
It's easy to follow because it'sfamiliar.
The path has already been walkeddown time and time again, and
(02:34):
it's removed anything.
That's blocking its path.
So it's smooth to walk on Yourbrain wants to conserve that
energy.
So it puts everything it can onautopilot habits essentially are
pre-programmed responses, neuralpathways that have been
strengthened through repetition.
So when we try to introduce anew behavior, we're essentially
(02:55):
asking our brains to build a newroad and that takes time.
It takes effort.
And there's a lot of resistancethat we're going to get.
One of our biggest barriers isthe subconscious mind.
So it's operating beneath ourconscious awareness.
It's where our beliefs valuesand ingrained patterns live.
(03:15):
It loves the status quo.
So it's comfortable with thefamiliar, even if the familiar
is detrimental.
Let's use relationships for anexample.
So we can get into a pattern ofpicking the same partner over
and over again.
So different person, but samesituation.
So it feels like the sameperson, right?
We may be attracting people whoare, let's say controlling.
(03:38):
So this can be tricky because atfirst it can look like the two
of you were always together andyou think, oh my goodness, they
just, they can't get enough ofme.
They are so obsessed with me.
They just love me so much.
This can feel really good forsomeone who struggles with
feelings of unworthiness.
Then over time, this behaviorturns into when you guys aren't
(03:59):
together, then they want to knoweverywhere you are.
And they're calling 10, 15 timesa day asking you questions that
make you end up feelingdefensive or making you feel
bad.
And then you start trying tohelp calm the situation.
Let's say eventually thisrelationship ends not so great.
Number four, you know, it you'reright back into the same
scenario with a new partner.
(04:22):
So if the drive for attractingpartners like this is coming
from a place of unworthinessthat is within your subconscious
mind, until this belief isbrought to light and addressed,
the pattern will continue torepeat itself because it's
familiar.
It is driven by core beliefsthat are forming our behaviors.
(04:42):
Another major hurdle that someof us are jumping over is fear.
Fear of the unknown fear offailure.
Fear of discomfort.
We could be afraid of steppingoutside of our comfort zones and
facing the uncertainty thatcomes along with change.
We clean to familiar.
So even if it's painful, We willclean to it because it feels
safe.
(05:02):
This one is me.
I am currently jumping over thishurdle and I'll let you guys and
on how this is showing up in mylife.
So this is vulnerable to share,but because I believe that
lasting change does require someaction to overcome.
I'm going to dig deep here forsome courage and I'm going to
share.
Now a year and a half ago, I hada goal to start a very
(05:25):
successful podcast.
There was so much excitementwhen I first started this
podcast.
The goals that I had were, orstill have, are reaching
thousands of people and helpingthem reach their personal
mindset goals, and overcomemental health challenges.
It also includes having sponsorsfor the podcast so that I can
bring in money to help pay andsustain the show.
(05:47):
And I know that I'm aware ofsome of these changes that I
need to make to make thishappen.
I need let's say so.
I need to be.
Consistent.
I need to network.
I need to have guests on thepodcast.
I also need to be a guest onpodcast.
I need to promote and talk aboutmy podcast so that the word gets
out there and I need to be ableto reach out to companies for
(06:10):
sponsorships.
Well, somewhere down the line, Igot stuck in the weeds of being
busy.
So I was putting episodestogether, which take a fair
amount of time to put thesetogether.
If they're quality episodes.
And I was calling this busy andjust being consistent.
So I started becomingdiscouraged and telling myself,
I don't know how I'm going to beable to keep this up without
(06:31):
gaining some momentum.
So after about a year, I becameaware of what was going on here.
I was filling up my schedule tobecome so busy that I wasn't
doing the things that I neededto do to move the needle.
I wasn't asking other people tobe on their podcast.
I wasn't reaching out tocompanies for sponsorships.
(06:52):
I wasn't trying to makeconnections for networking with
other people.
And I was just convincing myselffor some time that it was
because I was so busy and I hadlow energy.
So anytime I have moved theneedle and made any progress, I
was vibing on a much higherfrequency, more energy, a more
positive attitude.
(07:12):
But the fear of actually beingseen, caused me to create all
this busy-ness so that Icouldn't find the time to do the
things that I really needed todo.
The fear that I held comes froma core belief of not being good
enough.
So I was hiding behind all thesetasks that took me nowhere, or
was just keeping me in mycomfort zone.
And now that I've called myselfout.
(07:34):
I'm going to need to take somesteps to make some changes here.
I need to build up some courageto reach out to people.
And I need to show up in abigger way than I've been
showing up.
So fear, isn't just going to goaway.
We need to build up some courageto do the work in the presence
of fear.
Then there's a lack of clarity.
So we often have vague goals.
(07:54):
Like I want to be healthier.
But without clear specificplans, we're setting ourselves
up for failure.
So we need to define whathealthier means.
Break it down into actionablesteps and then create a roadmap
for our success.
This can be challenging if youhave ADHD and you struggle with
executive function.
So decision-making planning,organizing.
(08:16):
Leaning into tools that can helpyou address these issues can
help you gain some clarity andstart putting a plan together to
help you reach your goals.
And let's not forget externalinfluences.
So the people that we surroundourselves with the environments
that we live in, the informationthat we're consuming.
All of these factors can eithersupport or sabotage our efforts.
(08:40):
If we're, let's say trying toquit smoking, but you have
friends who are consistentlylightened up.
You're facing an uphill battle.
Behavioral changes are already abattle, but adding in these
types of influences really domake this, that uphill battle as
a battling, just isn't hardenough, right?
To do it on flat ground flatground.
(09:00):
Let's just throw a hill in thereand we're going to raise the
risk of staying stuck in oldhabits.
No, thank you.
And I'm definitely notsuggesting that you need to get
all new friends because you wantto make these changes in your
life.
Instead, what can be helpful isputting some physical distance
between you and these friendsand family members temporarily.
So you can chat on the phone andyou can stay connected and meet
(09:22):
up occasionally, but trying tosurround yourself with
non-smokers while you'revulnerable to reverting back to
old habits is wise and it can bevery supportive.
Um, our brains are incrediblyadaptable neuroplasticity.
It allows our brains to changeand to reorganize themselves all
throughout our lives.
(09:43):
So when we repeatedly engage ina new behavior, we are rewiring
our brains and we're creatingnew neural connections.
Every thought, every action itstrengthens or weakens the
connection between neurons.
So this is where repetitioncomes in.
The more that we repeat.
The behavior, the stronger theneural pathway becomes making it
(10:04):
easier and more automatic.
So our autonomic nervoussystems, a and S play a role
here.
Our ans control, our involuntarybodily functions.
Including our stress response.
So when we're under stress, thesympathetic nervous system that
fight or flight response kicksin.
This can lead to reactivebehaviors, impulsive decisions,
(10:25):
and those emotional outburst.
And this response can show upwhen we're trying to make
changes in our behavior.
So we can learn to regulate ourans our autonomic nervous system
through practices likemindfulness, deep breathing and
meditation.
These practices activate theparasympathetic nervous system
that rest or digest response.
(10:47):
Which is helping us to feelrelaxed and to feel calm.
So when we're consistentlypracticing these techniques,
we're training our autonomicnervous system to respond
differently to stress, which canhelp us to feel more in control
and to have more intentionalbehaviors.
Which is a good thing, right?
So let's talk about some stepsthat we can take to actually
(11:08):
make changes.
First, you want to get clear onthe vision?
What do you want to change andbe specific?
So instead of saying, I want tobe healthier, say.
I want to exercise for 30minutes, three times a week, do
something that you enjoy forexercise.
Maybe it's swimming, playingbasketball with friends, walking
outside, lifting, whatever feelsgood.
(11:30):
So specific.
I want to exercise for 30minutes, three times a week, and
I want to have a healthyrelationship with food by
including proteins, fats carbsand two meals during the day.
And having snacks that aredelicious and feel my body.
And then we want to write ourgoals down.
So putting goals into writingthis makes them more tangible
(11:51):
and increases our commitment tothem.
And imagine yourself alreadyachieving your goals.
So seeing yourself exercise,eating in a way that brings joy
and fuels your brain and bodyand responding to stress more
calmly.
Visualizing your goals will helpyou to strengthen the neural
pathways that are associatedwith whatever behavior change
(12:13):
that you're trying to make.
And then create some positiveaffirmations because this will
reinforce the behavior as well.
I say things like I am strongand capable of achieving my
goals.
Well, heck yes you are.
And then repeat the statementdaily, especially in the morning
and before bed.
And this is also important.
Do not try to change everythingat once.
(12:36):
Start.
With one small manageable step.
So focus on consistency overintensity.
And this is a hard one for mebecause I, I tried to go.
Very hard.
So I need to just slow down,take it one small step at a
time.
Consistency is your friend focuson that.
(12:56):
So I'm definitely giving youseveral steps here, but maybe
you just want to start with oneor two of these steps this week,
and then you can start to stackthese.
So maybe in a week or two,you're going to add another step
towards reaching your goals.
And then repetition, repetition,repetition.
This is key.
So repeat your new behaviordaily, even when you don't feel
(13:20):
like it.
Every repetition strengthensneural pathways.
So you are absolutely going towake up.
I promise you this.
You are going to wake up one dayand feel very unmotivated to
repeat your new behavior.
This is normal, and this is whenyou need to rely on discipline,
not motivation.
So you don't have to feelmotivated to do the thing that
(13:41):
needs to get done.
You can do it anyways, becauseyou're going to rely on
discipline, not motivationduring those days.
Acknowledging and celebratingour achievements, even the small
ones.
So this will reinforce thebehavior as well, and it can
help keep you motivated mostdays, not all like we were
saying, but most days.
And then find a supportivecommunity.
(14:02):
So whether that's a friend, acoach, a family member, a
support group, having a supportsystem can really push you
through the unmotivated days.
It's calling them and talking tothem when you're having a tough
time weather.
You know, you're trying to justlet them know that you need some
advice or maybe you just need tolet them know.
(14:24):
I, I really just want to kind ofvent or talk to you.
I just need you to listen.
Because feeling alone duringyour journey can feel very
isolating.
So being able to reach out toyour support, people can be
extremely effective and it canfeel really good to have a habit
team behind you.
We want to make sure that we'reminimizing our exposure to the
(14:45):
triggers that lead us to oldhabits as well.
So we want to become aware ofour thoughts, our emotions, and
our triggers.
This will give you more controlover your reactions.
And we do this throughmindfulness practices.
So it's regulating our nervoussystems.
On the same note, we want to beable to manage our stress
levels.
So doing yoga, exercising,meditating, and deep breathing
(15:07):
exercises, deep breathingexercises are my jam.
I will go down swinging withlike, yes, yes, yes.
To breathing exercises.
It has been the most helpfulexercises to help reduce my
stress levels.
And I try to do this every day.
Sometimes I miss a day andthat's okay if you do.
Cause life happens.
(15:27):
But I try to do this every day.
And when I was going through avery stressful time in my life
recently, these exercises werenon-negotiable.
I was doing these one, two,sometimes three times a day.
And it really did help toregulate my stress levels.
So change.
It just takes time.
Your brain is working reallyhard to make changes, and this
(15:49):
is going deep down into cellularlevel.
So don't get discouraged.
If the change feels like it'staking much longer than we
expected.
This is when acknowledging theprogress that you've already
made comes in handy.
If you're starting to feelfrustrated.
So don't let yourself forgetabout the progress that you've
made.
Our subconscious mind learnsthrough repetition.
(16:12):
The more we repeat a behavior,the more ingrained it becomes,
you got into the habit throughrepetition and it is through
repetition that you're going toget out of the old habit and
into the new one.
With that consistent repetition,we can really create new neural
pathways and new patterns ofbehavior.
And that my friend is prettydang cool.
(16:32):
So changing behavior, like wesaid, it's definitely not easy.
It requires your commitment,your patience, and
self-compassion.
But it is very possible.
So we have the power to rewireour brains, to create new habits
and to transform our lives intowhat we want them to be.
So you are definitely notdefined by your old patterns.
(16:56):
You can choose a different path.
So hold on tight, embrace thejourney, celebrate the progress
and never give up on yourself.
I so appreciate you.
I'm so glad that you're a partof this community and until next
time.
I keep landing strong and keepstriving to become the best
version of yourself.
(17:17):
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And remember, this podcast is apersonal project.
It's unrelated to the full-timework I do for the company.
I help treat those with eatingdisorders.
While I aim to provideprofessional and educational
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