July 16, 2024 • 29 mins
What if you could transform every area of your life through 7 pillars that enable you to achieve true balance, beauty, and abundance?
Rebecca Whitman intimately shares her incredible personal journey of evolving from childhood acting dreams to leading sold-out retreats empowering women globally.
We trace Rebecca's surprising shift from pursuing fame on iconic shows to discovering greater passion teaching performing arts to children. She reveals how embracing spiritual teachings radically transformed her world, equipping her to overcome a painful divorce and her father's death to become a self-made millionaire. From tragedy arose mission – to codify the 7 lifestyle pillars that had changed everything for her into a book and a movement.
Tune in to explore:
- Rebecca's unique 7 pillars framework for achieving fulfillment in relationships, wellness, spirituality, finance and more
- How to keep perspective during life’s ups and downs
- Why shifting from scarcity to abundance thinking is crucial
- A step-by-step process to call in your soulmate after heartbreak
- The freedom multiple streams of income can create
Connect with Rebecca:
website: https://www.rebeccaelizabethwhitman.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccaewhitman?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Connect with La'Quita:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to another amazing episode of
(00:05):
Laquita's Toolbox. I am your host, Laquita
Mandley, and I am having a fantastic day
today and I hope and pray that you guys
are as well. To all of our returning
listeners, thank you so much for your love
and support. And if you are new to the
toolbox, please consider hitting that like
share and subscribe button. Ding that
(00:27):
notification bell so that you can receive
notifications when we release new episodes
weekly of Laquita's Toolbox. You guys,
those of you that are returning, you know
the drill. Get something to write with and
something to write on because I have an
absolutely amazing guest in the studio
with us today. None other than Miss
(00:48):
Rebecca Whitman. Now, she is an
entrepreneur of entrepreneurs. She is the
definition of serial entrepreneurs.
Ladies, so you don't want to miss this. If
you're in your car, keep listening.
Remember, it's a podcast, so when you get
somewhere stable, hit that replay button
so you can make sure that you get all of
the gems that she's going to release on
(01:09):
today. But before we bring her up, let me
take a small moment to thank our sponsors
at Covenant Press. Covenant Press is a
faith based christian apparel and
accessory shop where we as believers are
able to shop online for clothing and
accessories that allow us to wear the
message of the love of Jesus Christ. Go
out to www. Dot Covenant dash press.com.
(01:32):
again, that's www. Dot Covenant dash
press.com. don't click on off those pop
ups too quickly because they contain a
valuable code that when placed in the
appropriate place at checkout, you can
receive some amazing savings on your
purchases through Covenant Press. Miss
(01:52):
Rebecca, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the
toolbox. Thank you so much, Lakita, for
having me on your show. I'm so happy to be
here. I am so excited to have you here. I
love having genuine conversations with
amazing women who are doing phenomenal
(02:13):
things because when we get to share a
piece of our story and our journey, at
least for me, that's how I receive and how
I learn best. And I'm all about having the
right tools in my toolbox. Absolutely
wonderful. So, Miss Rebecca, I know a
little bit about some of the amazing
(02:34):
things that you've done, but please take a
moment and introduce yourself to the
toolbox audience. Yeah. So I am so
surprised and delighted that I was rated
top five entrepreneurs to watch in USA
Today. It was never my intention to be a
top rated entrepreneur. I moved to LA 23
(02:55):
years ago to pursue my childhood dream of
being an actress. And although I had small
parts on big shows like friends, CSI, and
24. I never caught that big break. And I
found myself working in the children's
acting school business. It was really fun
for me because I don't have kids of my own
and I love their performing arts. And
(03:17):
while the kids were off at school, I would
study with great spiritual teachers and
attend their lectures. People like Michael
Beckwith, Abraham Hicks, Louise Hay,
Marian Williamson, Wayne Dyer. I and I
started applying their teachings to my
life, and I started to see my life
(03:38):
transform. I began making six figures
working part time in the kids acting
school business. I got healthier. But the
one area that really challenged me and
broke my heart too many times to count was
my love life. I had the habit of picking
emotionally unavailable, narcissistic
Mendez, and I tried to change one by
(04:00):
marrying him. And we all know how that
works out. He did not change. And three
years after marriage, I filed for divorce.
And as my marriage was painfully and
slowly unraveling, my dad was painfully
and slowly dying. And in one of my last
conversations with my dad, he asked me to
write a book. A few months later, my dad
had passed away, my marriage had been
(04:22):
dissolved, and I was sitting across the
desk from for my financial planner, and he
said, Rebecca, I know you lost your dad in
your marriage, but I'm shocked to inform
you that you are a self made millionaire
and you're having your best financial year
ever while you're going under, while
you're under loss and tragedy. And I think
you should write a book and teach women
(04:44):
how to be so resilient. So I wrote a book.
It's called how to make a six figure
income working part time. And in the book,
I divide life into seven key areas, which
I call my seven pillars of abundance. And
when your life is lined, aligned in these
seven key areas, you can be, do, or have
anything you want. Now, I empower women to
(05:06):
go from burned out to balance, beautiful
and abundant. I coach women one on one,
group coaching. And I'm leading my second
international retreat this year in Belize.
And I also have a hit podcast that you're
going to be on called the Balance
Beautiful and abundant show. That is so
awesome. I've got so many great questions
(05:27):
I want to ask, but before we get started,
let me take a moment to. Let me take a
pause. I can't get my words together,
y'all let me take a pause for a small
commercial break and we'll be right back.
All right, that's enough for them to
(05:48):
insert that there. And welcome back to
Laquita's toolbox, you guys. We have the
amazing Miss Rebecca Whitman with us in
the office and in the studio. Excuse me.
And if you've missed the first half of
this podcast, go ahead and hit that rewind
button now so that you can be empowered.
(06:10):
Simply by her intro, ladies. Simply by her
intro. I mean, you were going through some
stuff, sis. Like you were going through
some stuff, only to be told that, wow. In
the midst of what had to be one of the
most traumatic times in your life, you've
(06:32):
suffered loss after loss. The loss of your
father, the loss of your marriage, to be
told by your financial advisor, yet you
lost, but you won. You're having the best
financial year. And then out of that loss
of your father, you kept a promise and
wrote a book. Yes. That was also advised
(06:56):
to you then as well by others. Hey, you
should write a book about how you were
able to do this despite your circumstances
and situations and, and that. And out of
that, we have the, um, the. You've created
the seven pillars of abundance. So can you
talk to us, please talk to us more about
(07:19):
those seven pillars of abundance because
how did you do that in the midst of all of
that? How did you not just. I'm not like,
becoming a self made millionaire is
nothing to, like, downplay, but I'm
thinking of myself. I don't even know how
I would have made it to work, much less
(07:40):
earn money. That the money can make money
for me. Yes. And do that in that time. So
talk to us more, please, about those seven
pillars of abundance. The seven pillars of
abundance are the seven key areas of life.
And even though I had a lot of pain in my
love life and with watching my dad
decline, I was really aware to keep all
(08:03):
the other areas of my life at a level ten.
So the seven pillars are in order of
importance. The first one is spirituality.
I am a huge believer in having a morning
ritual, and journaling has been such a
crucial part of my connection to my higher
power, which I choose to call God. And
(08:23):
every morning I journal. I met a woman 30
years ago at a twelve step meeting, and
she gave me a few life changing journal
prompts that I've been writing every
morning for 30 years. I added a few of my
own and it has helped turn my negative
situations to learning experiences. Be
aware of my wins, celebrate others wins.
(08:45):
And with your permission, Lakita, I'd love
to gift your audience with this abundance
journal because it's been the number one
tool to keep me positive and connected to
the divine. Is that okay with you? That is
absolutely okay with me. Such a great
gift, guys, listen, y'all need to get this
episode out to as many people as possible,
(09:06):
because that journal, 30 years of use, 30
years of applying these print, applying
these principles have been a blessing in
every aspect of her life. So principles
work. So let's work these principles. I
need a journal. Awesome. The second area
of abundance is physical. So I'm a huge
(09:28):
believer in putting your body before your
business. I believe in working out, moving
your body every single morning. The third
pillar of abundance is emotional. And all
emotions come from a base emotion of fear
or love, or you could say of scarcity or
abundance. So, thinking there's not enough
(09:50):
of whatever it is that you want, not
enough time, not enough money, not enough
love, not enough energy. That is scarcity
thinking. The goal is to flip it into
abundance. I have more than enough time. I
have more than enough love, more than
enough energy, more than enough money to
be happy. So it is a discipline that you
(10:11):
want to be aware of when you're in
scarcity. And there's two ways to switch
into abundance. One is through
affirmations. I am a huge believer in
affirmations. After every chapter in this
book, you get three customized
affirmations for each pillar of abundance.
For example, I am a spiritual being having
(10:33):
a human experience. I have a connection to
the divine that gives me peace and ease,
and I am able to go with the flow, knowing
that everything works out for me. So those
are three affirmations. Then, after
emotion is romance. I encourage my clients
to walk away from relationships that no
(10:55):
longer serve their highest good, to walk
away from toxic relationships because the
romance affects all the other areas of
your life. And I teach women how to
manifest their soulmate in midlife. I'm
now happily married to my soulmate for two
years, and I teach women how to manifest
their soulmate in midlife in seven simple
(11:17):
steps. We'll have to save those for
another episode. The next area. Oh, yeah,
that's a hot topic. Yep. The next area of
abundance after romantic is a mental. And
that is what you guys are all doing right
here, right now, listening to the awesome
show Lakita's toolbox. You are working on
(11:39):
your mental growing your mind, working on
that growth mindset. It could be listening
to a podcast, an audible, a YouTube, or
learning a new skill like cooking a new
recipe or learning a new sport. Even
travel helps grow our mindset. The next
area is social, and we are in an epidemic
(12:02):
of loneliness, suicide, depression. People
are hiding out at home behind their
technology, and they're not connecting
enough. So now that the world is opened
up, I am a big believer in going to live
events, go to classes, go to church, go to
temple, go to a dog park, wherever the
(12:23):
coffee shop, meet people, go out into the
world and connect. Your community helps
your immunity. And it's, you know, during
that hard year when I was losing my dad in
my marriage, it was women in my community
that carried me through. Yes. Finally, the
7th pillar of abundance is financial. And
(12:45):
I am a huge believer in having multiple
streams of income. One of my programs is
teaching women to create a six figure side
hustle and I believe in multiple streams
of income. Most coaches say quit your job,
max out your credit cards. You have to put
a all your cards on the table. But that
(13:07):
causes a lot of anxiety, especially for
women. So I say keep your job, get your
health insurance and your bills paid, and
then create a side hustle where we can
turn your passion into profit. And that is
an overview of my seven pillar framework.
That is amazing. I mean, we can pick that.
(13:28):
I could pick each one of those and that's
just an episode all by itself. But, you
know, the thing that I noticed most there
is this. You say the 7th pillar as
finance. We can look at that as that's the
biggest foundation and everything goes up
from there. But from where I'm sitting, in
(13:49):
my perspective, if the way I see it is the
order of importance that you laid them
out, at least for me personally, I don't
know how you, the viewers are going to
review it, but for me personally, if I get
those first six working synergistically
together, then it keeps me in a space
(14:11):
mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that I
have the energy required to do number
seven. Yeah. So most people, most people,
Lakita, think abundance means money and
they put all their effort and energy into
making money. They think I'll just focus
(14:32):
on making money. I'll finally have enough
money to hire a trainer and get in shape.
Then I'll look really good, I'll attract
my soulmate, we'll go on spiritual
retreats and we'll socialize with other
couples and then I'll be happy. But you're
exactly correct, Lakita. It is the last
piece of the puzzle and they are in order
(14:53):
of importance. So when you have a strong
relationship with spirituality, when
you're healthy, when you're happy, when
you're in love, when you have friends,
when you're working on your growth
mindset, that is when financial abundance
comes in. It is actually, in my
experience, the last piece of the puzzle
(15:15):
to click. Into place, into place, you
know? And I said that per my own
experience, it's like, I've been married
a. Long time, and I have how many years
and how many children? We've just
celebrated 27 years of marriage and five
(15:36):
children. Congratulations. That's
inspiring to me. Thank you. Thank you.
It's some hard work, but when, when you
were laying out those seven pillars, I
had, like, a mental road trip in my mind
of things from when we were younger and
first married into where we are now. And
(15:56):
we put so much energy into earning the
money. My husband's climbing the ladder in
the military. I'm trying to figure out
what I want to do to earn money in a way
that we could afford daycare because we
have so many children, working outside the
home became difficult. And so I finally
figured out the route to establishing an
(16:19):
in home daycare as my way of still being
able to be 100% present for my kids. But I
needed to earn money because it made me
feel good, like I was contributing, but we
needed it. Let's flat out needed it. And
we were so busy grinding that the other
pillars you were talking about, we didn't
pay a lot of attention to them. And it was
(16:41):
really what you said, we've got to make
this money, because we often have more
month than money, or we need to know so
many things we want our children to do and
all of these things. And it wasn't until
2010, and we were married in 98, it wasn't
until 2010 we moved out of the country to
(17:01):
the UK. And the first three months we
lived in the UK, we were very angry
because no one was in a hurry. It was the
mindset. The mindset was different. And
one day, my husband and I were at a coffee
shop having a conversation, and it just
dawned on us, like, why are we in a hurry?
(17:25):
Why are we always, you know, all of the
negative things, like, why are we always
chasing this, chasing that? Why aren't we
putting ourselves first? Putting ourselves
first, you know, doing the. Doing the
exercise, spending the time with each
other, spending the time with the kids,
you know, growing spiritually, growing
(17:48):
personally, looking at our own personal
development, all of these things, it took
us leaving the country to have, and it.
The first 90 days outside of the country,
we weren't happy about it, but when it
clicked and we started working on the
things that matter, the money came. I was
like, if one day we woke up and realized,
oh, we're not struggling. When did that
(18:11):
happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when
you just chase money, it's like chasing
the butterfly. It flies away. But if you
just find a way to sit still and feel
centered, the butterfly might just fly in,
you know, graze your shoulder or sit on
(18:32):
your shoulder. And when you're in survival
mode, it's like, well, if I don't work,
then I'm not going to get paid. But you
can also get really sick if you don't take
care of your health. And if you don't take
care of your emotions, you can actually
get so sick that you miss out on way more
work than if you just would have taken
(18:52):
that, you know, 30 minutes to walk every
day or, you know, just spent an extra ten
minutes in the kitchen cooking rather than
doing a microwave meal to get a little
healthier. So it. It really is true that
if you want to stay abundant and balanced,
beautiful, like the. My slogan says,
(19:13):
balance, beautiful and abundant, you want
to take time, and there's different
seasons. You know, if you have five kids
under 18, obviously you're not going to
have as much time to socialize with your
girlfriends because your priority is your
family. But just know that, you know,
maybe you can socialize with your friends,
like, once a month and have, like, a
(19:34):
coffee or a lunch or a walk with a
girlfriend, just. Just knowing that these
seven key areas of life are there and that
you want to touch all of them when you're
living your life. You're absolutely
correct. I'm just. Had I read this book,
had this book been available when I was
old, maybe about 25, things would have
(19:59):
been a lot different, because, yes, you
know, whether you have the big families
like we did, or whatever the case may be,
I found that the Lord designed us mind,
body, and spirit, and we have to take care
of that. And when we take care of
ourselves in that way, literally
(20:22):
everything else is taken care of. When we
take care of ourselves in that way,
everything else is taken care of. And it
took us a long time to figure that out
when we took care of ourselves
individually. And it was scary for me as a
parent, and I know a lot of women will
attest to this. How can I not put my
children first? Or even married women? How
can I not put my husband first? Well,
(20:44):
here's the deal, sis. If you don't put you
first, you have nothing to give them. You
will eventually run out, and then you'll
be upset because nobody is giving to you.
But you've trained everybody around you to
take and not give. And I had to get over
that. Like, I had to go through therapy to
(21:04):
process that. Like, what are. What is
happening here? And not be angry all the
time. But your seven pillars are. I mean,
I don't want to say revolutionary. Cause
it's practical, right? But it
revolutionary. It makes you stop and think
and do the simple things, because we can
(21:24):
have time for simple things like putting
ourselves first. But what are we willing
to sacrifice and recognize that we need to
get rid of in order to be able to put
ourselves first and know that that's not
selfish is necessary. And it's life giving
to me, because if I can't give it to me, I
(21:46):
don't have anything to give to the people
who I'm killing myself to give stuff to.
That's right. I like to say that self care
is not selfish, because the worst thing
you could call a woman is selfish. Women
are taught to nurture and give to everyone
else first and put themselves last. But if
(22:08):
a woman is coming from depletion and
burnout, she's not going to be a good mom.
She's not going to be a good wife. She's
not going to be a joyful, cheerful giver.
She's going to be a resentful giver and a
tired giver. And when you are burned out,
you're not of maximum service to God and
to your fellows. So we want to give from a
(22:31):
full cup. Pour into yourself first with
all seven pillars. With having a morning
practice of prayer, journaling,
meditation, with exercise, with keeping
your emotions and abundance and love, not
letting yourself drop down to fear and
(22:51):
scarcity. Socialize, have fun, have that
date night, do all that stuff. And then
you can show up and be a better mom and be
a better boss, be a better employee,
sister, a daughter. When you are. When
you're full. When you're full of joy. Yes,
yes, yes, yes. And more yeses on top of
(23:14):
that. Ladies, I hope you've been
listening. I hope you have been listening.
And this is one of those episodes where
you. You kind of gotta listen to it once
or twice a and then come back and take
some notes on it. It has to. You have to
roll this over in your spirit. You have to
think on this and meditate on it, because
some of you may be saying liquid. And
(23:35):
Rebecca, y'all make it sound so easy,
because honestly, it is. We make it hard
by carrying a burden that we were never
designed to carry. Like all of these
things that the world has said or culture
has said that we have to be. It's not
true. And as Rebecca said, self care and
(23:59):
putting yourself first is not selfish. At
all. But it is what will make you one of
the tools that you need in your toolbox to
help you become the best version of
yourself at any given moment. Miss
Rebecca, I've definitely been enjoying
this conversation, but before we wrap it
(24:22):
up, and I hate to wrap it up, I'm inviting
you back to another amazing episode of
Laquita's toolbox because I really want to
take some time and unpack maybe one or two
of your pillars and talk more about some
of the programs that you have and making
sure that the Laquita's toolbox audience
knows when and how to connect with you.
(24:43):
So, please, before we wrap up, leave us
one more tool and let us know how to
connect with you and what you have coming
up. Thank you. I will leave you with one
more tool, and that is keeping your mind
in the present. When you think about the
past, it's usually depression or regret. I
(25:06):
am a recovering perfectionist, so it's
like using the words could have, would
have, and should have are ways that I used
to beat myself up. Take would have, could
have, and should have out of your
vocabulary. The past, it's over. It's
done. It all happened the way it was
supposed to. And your divine design by
(25:27):
God. Stop second guessing yourself in the
past. The future is anxiety. Oh, my God.
How am I going to pay my bills? How am I
going to take care of my kids? What's
going to happen? What's going to happen in
the world? You know, there's wars, there's
an election. There's all kinds of stuff to
worry about in the future. We could be an
anxiety sting way out ahead of ourselves,
(25:49):
catastrophizing. I am going to leave you
with the tool of staying in the present
moment. Now, how do you get into the
present moment? You use your five senses.
What am I seeing? What am I smelling? What
am I tasting? What am I touching? What am
I listening to? And you get grounded in
your five senses. And if you're still in
(26:10):
your head, by the way, if you're in your
head, you're dead. But if you still can't
get into the senses and into your body,
then just do the next right thing. If you
are in overwhelm, do the next indicated
action. Ask God. I can tell that you guys
(26:30):
speak about God on this show. Jesus. What
is my next indicated action? Guide my
feet. Guide my feet. Your head can be
spinning. Guide my feet. What is my next
right step? And then you will be amazed if
you keep asking for guidance. We're in the
next right step and the next right step
(26:51):
and the next right step. Before you know
it, your day will be over and you will
have had a peaceful day. And that is the
goal. To live a life of peace, ease, and
spiritual dignity. I love that peace,
ease, and spiritual dignity. You should
write a book on that. I love that peace,
ease and spiritual dignity. Love it, love
(27:12):
it, love it. Listen, Miss Rebecca, it has
been my pleasure, and again, we're going
to have you on again real soon so we can
talk more about the seven pillars of
abundance and stay connected with you.
Because I am a firm believer in having the
right tools in your toolbox. And not just
(27:32):
having them, but knowing how to use them
and easily implement them so they can go
and become a part of who you are to create
the change you need to be need to have in
order to become the best version of
yourself. Thank you again. Thank you to
those that are tuned into this episode of
Laquita's Toolbox. We appreciate you and
(27:53):
love you. Thank you so much for that
support. Please hit that like share and
subscribe button on your favorite podcast
listening platforms. Don't forget to ring
that notification bell as well so you can
be notified when we release new episodes
of Laquita's Toolbox. Until next time, I
am your host, Laquita Manley. You guys be
(28:14):
blessed and have an. Amazing I forgot to
say how to stay in touch with me, so let's
get that. Let's get that. Sorry. Thank you
for having me on your show. I'd love to
stay in touch with your amazing audience.
You can find me on Instagram. Ebeka E.
Whitman Lakita is going to give you that
(28:35):
free journal prompt with my Linktree link,
and you can also go to my website, Rebecca
Elizabeth Whitman with a z. Thank you so
much for having me on this amazing show
and I love Lakita's toolbox. I can't wait
to be back. No problem. Thank you. Listen,
guys, make sure you connect with her. IG
is awesome. I was trolling it recently, so
(28:57):
yes, because she's got some amazing things
there and I know we do have a lot of. You
guys are also on LinkedIn. She is also
showing up absolutely fire on LinkedIn as
well. So make sure you connect with her.
Stay in connection. Look in the show
notes, find that link tree, get that, um.
Get that journal so that you can begin to
(29:19):
work on the best version of you. Until
next time, I'm Laquita Manley. You guys be
blessed and have an amazing rest of your
Welcome back to another amazing episode of
(00:05):
Laquita's Toolbox. I am your host, Laquita
Mandley, and I am having a fantastic day
today and I hope and pray that you guys
are as well. To all of our returning
listeners, thank you so much for your love
and support. And if you are new to the
toolbox, please consider hitting that like
share and subscribe button. Ding that
(00:27):
notification bell so that you can receive
notifications when we release new episodes
weekly of Laquita's Toolbox. You guys,
those of you that are returning, you know
the drill. Get something to write with and
something to write on because I have an
absolutely amazing guest in the studio
with us today. None other than Miss
(00:48):
Rebecca Whitman. Now, she is an
entrepreneur of entrepreneurs. She is the
definition of serial entrepreneurs.
Ladies, so you don't want to miss this. If
you're in your car, keep listening.
Remember, it's a podcast, so when you get
somewhere stable, hit that replay button
so you can make sure that you get all of
the gems that she's going to release on
(01:09):
today. But before we bring her up, let me
take a small moment to thank our sponsors
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(01:32):
again, that's www. Dot Covenant dash
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receive some amazing savings on your
purchases through Covenant Press. Miss
(01:52):
Rebecca, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the
toolbox. Thank you so much, Lakita, for
having me on your show. I'm so happy to be
here. I am so excited to have you here. I
love having genuine conversations with
amazing women who are doing phenomenal
(02:13):
things because when we get to share a
piece of our story and our journey, at
least for me, that's how I receive and how
I learn best. And I'm all about having the
right tools in my toolbox. Absolutely
wonderful. So, Miss Rebecca, I know a
little bit about some of the amazing
(02:34):
things that you've done, but please take a
moment and introduce yourself to the
toolbox audience. Yeah. So I am so
surprised and delighted that I was rated
top five entrepreneurs to watch in USA
Today. It was never my intention to be a
top rated entrepreneur. I moved to LA 23
(02:55):
years ago to pursue my childhood dream of
being an actress. And although I had small
parts on big shows like friends, CSI, and
24. I never caught that big break. And I
found myself working in the children's
acting school business. It was really fun
for me because I don't have kids of my own
and I love their performing arts. And
(03:17):
while the kids were off at school, I would
study with great spiritual teachers and
attend their lectures. People like Michael
Beckwith, Abraham Hicks, Louise Hay,
Marian Williamson, Wayne Dyer. I and I
started applying their teachings to my
life, and I started to see my life
(03:38):
transform. I began making six figures
working part time in the kids acting
school business. I got healthier. But the
one area that really challenged me and
broke my heart too many times to count was
my love life. I had the habit of picking
emotionally unavailable, narcissistic
Mendez, and I tried to change one by
(04:00):
marrying him. And we all know how that
works out. He did not change. And three
years after marriage, I filed for divorce.
And as my marriage was painfully and
slowly unraveling, my dad was painfully
and slowly dying. And in one of my last
conversations with my dad, he asked me to
write a book. A few months later, my dad
had passed away, my marriage had been
(04:22):
dissolved, and I was sitting across the
desk from for my financial planner, and he
said, Rebecca, I know you lost your dad in
your marriage, but I'm shocked to inform
you that you are a self made millionaire
and you're having your best financial year
ever while you're going under, while
you're under loss and tragedy. And I think
you should write a book and teach women
(04:44):
how to be so resilient. So I wrote a book.
It's called how to make a six figure
income working part time. And in the book,
I divide life into seven key areas, which
I call my seven pillars of abundance. And
when your life is lined, aligned in these
seven key areas, you can be, do, or have
anything you want. Now, I empower women to
(05:06):
go from burned out to balance, beautiful
and abundant. I coach women one on one,
group coaching. And I'm leading my second
international retreat this year in Belize.
And I also have a hit podcast that you're
going to be on called the Balance
Beautiful and abundant show. That is so
awesome. I've got so many great questions
(05:27):
I want to ask, but before we get started,
let me take a moment to. Let me take a
pause. I can't get my words together,
y'all let me take a pause for a small
commercial break and we'll be right back.
All right, that's enough for them to
(05:48):
insert that there. And welcome back to
Laquita's toolbox, you guys. We have the
amazing Miss Rebecca Whitman with us in
the office and in the studio. Excuse me.
And if you've missed the first half of
this podcast, go ahead and hit that rewind
button now so that you can be empowered.
(06:10):
Simply by her intro, ladies. Simply by her
intro. I mean, you were going through some
stuff, sis. Like you were going through
some stuff, only to be told that, wow. In
the midst of what had to be one of the
most traumatic times in your life, you've
(06:32):
suffered loss after loss. The loss of your
father, the loss of your marriage, to be
told by your financial advisor, yet you
lost, but you won. You're having the best
financial year. And then out of that loss
of your father, you kept a promise and
wrote a book. Yes. That was also advised
(06:56):
to you then as well by others. Hey, you
should write a book about how you were
able to do this despite your circumstances
and situations and, and that. And out of
that, we have the, um, the. You've created
the seven pillars of abundance. So can you
talk to us, please talk to us more about
(07:19):
those seven pillars of abundance because
how did you do that in the midst of all of
that? How did you not just. I'm not like,
becoming a self made millionaire is
nothing to, like, downplay, but I'm
thinking of myself. I don't even know how
I would have made it to work, much less
(07:40):
earn money. That the money can make money
for me. Yes. And do that in that time. So
talk to us more, please, about those seven
pillars of abundance. The seven pillars of
abundance are the seven key areas of life.
And even though I had a lot of pain in my
love life and with watching my dad
decline, I was really aware to keep all
(08:03):
the other areas of my life at a level ten.
So the seven pillars are in order of
importance. The first one is spirituality.
I am a huge believer in having a morning
ritual, and journaling has been such a
crucial part of my connection to my higher
power, which I choose to call God. And
(08:23):
every morning I journal. I met a woman 30
years ago at a twelve step meeting, and
she gave me a few life changing journal
prompts that I've been writing every
morning for 30 years. I added a few of my
own and it has helped turn my negative
situations to learning experiences. Be
aware of my wins, celebrate others wins.
(08:45):
And with your permission, Lakita, I'd love
to gift your audience with this abundance
journal because it's been the number one
tool to keep me positive and connected to
the divine. Is that okay with you? That is
absolutely okay with me. Such a great
gift, guys, listen, y'all need to get this
episode out to as many people as possible,
(09:06):
because that journal, 30 years of use, 30
years of applying these print, applying
these principles have been a blessing in
every aspect of her life. So principles
work. So let's work these principles. I
need a journal. Awesome. The second area
of abundance is physical. So I'm a huge
(09:28):
believer in putting your body before your
business. I believe in working out, moving
your body every single morning. The third
pillar of abundance is emotional. And all
emotions come from a base emotion of fear
or love, or you could say of scarcity or
abundance. So, thinking there's not enough
(09:50):
of whatever it is that you want, not
enough time, not enough money, not enough
love, not enough energy. That is scarcity
thinking. The goal is to flip it into
abundance. I have more than enough time. I
have more than enough love, more than
enough energy, more than enough money to
be happy. So it is a discipline that you
(10:11):
want to be aware of when you're in
scarcity. And there's two ways to switch
into abundance. One is through
affirmations. I am a huge believer in
affirmations. After every chapter in this
book, you get three customized
affirmations for each pillar of abundance.
For example, I am a spiritual being having
(10:33):
a human experience. I have a connection to
the divine that gives me peace and ease,
and I am able to go with the flow, knowing
that everything works out for me. So those
are three affirmations. Then, after
emotion is romance. I encourage my clients
to walk away from relationships that no
(10:55):
longer serve their highest good, to walk
away from toxic relationships because the
romance affects all the other areas of
your life. And I teach women how to
manifest their soulmate in midlife. I'm
now happily married to my soulmate for two
years, and I teach women how to manifest
their soulmate in midlife in seven simple
(11:17):
steps. We'll have to save those for
another episode. The next area. Oh, yeah,
that's a hot topic. Yep. The next area of
abundance after romantic is a mental. And
that is what you guys are all doing right
here, right now, listening to the awesome
show Lakita's toolbox. You are working on
(11:39):
your mental growing your mind, working on
that growth mindset. It could be listening
to a podcast, an audible, a YouTube, or
learning a new skill like cooking a new
recipe or learning a new sport. Even
travel helps grow our mindset. The next
area is social, and we are in an epidemic
(12:02):
of loneliness, suicide, depression. People
are hiding out at home behind their
technology, and they're not connecting
enough. So now that the world is opened
up, I am a big believer in going to live
events, go to classes, go to church, go to
temple, go to a dog park, wherever the
(12:23):
coffee shop, meet people, go out into the
world and connect. Your community helps
your immunity. And it's, you know, during
that hard year when I was losing my dad in
my marriage, it was women in my community
that carried me through. Yes. Finally, the
7th pillar of abundance is financial. And
(12:45):
I am a huge believer in having multiple
streams of income. One of my programs is
teaching women to create a six figure side
hustle and I believe in multiple streams
of income. Most coaches say quit your job,
max out your credit cards. You have to put
a all your cards on the table. But that
(13:07):
causes a lot of anxiety, especially for
women. So I say keep your job, get your
health insurance and your bills paid, and
then create a side hustle where we can
turn your passion into profit. And that is
an overview of my seven pillar framework.
That is amazing. I mean, we can pick that.
(13:28):
I could pick each one of those and that's
just an episode all by itself. But, you
know, the thing that I noticed most there
is this. You say the 7th pillar as
finance. We can look at that as that's the
biggest foundation and everything goes up
from there. But from where I'm sitting, in
(13:49):
my perspective, if the way I see it is the
order of importance that you laid them
out, at least for me personally, I don't
know how you, the viewers are going to
review it, but for me personally, if I get
those first six working synergistically
together, then it keeps me in a space
(14:11):
mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that I
have the energy required to do number
seven. Yeah. So most people, most people,
Lakita, think abundance means money and
they put all their effort and energy into
making money. They think I'll just focus
(14:32):
on making money. I'll finally have enough
money to hire a trainer and get in shape.
Then I'll look really good, I'll attract
my soulmate, we'll go on spiritual
retreats and we'll socialize with other
couples and then I'll be happy. But you're
exactly correct, Lakita. It is the last
piece of the puzzle and they are in order
(14:53):
of importance. So when you have a strong
relationship with spirituality, when
you're healthy, when you're happy, when
you're in love, when you have friends,
when you're working on your growth
mindset, that is when financial abundance
comes in. It is actually, in my
experience, the last piece of the puzzle
(15:15):
to click. Into place, into place, you
know? And I said that per my own
experience, it's like, I've been married
a. Long time, and I have how many years
and how many children? We've just
celebrated 27 years of marriage and five
(15:36):
children. Congratulations. That's
inspiring to me. Thank you. Thank you.
It's some hard work, but when, when you
were laying out those seven pillars, I
had, like, a mental road trip in my mind
of things from when we were younger and
first married into where we are now. And
(15:56):
we put so much energy into earning the
money. My husband's climbing the ladder in
the military. I'm trying to figure out
what I want to do to earn money in a way
that we could afford daycare because we
have so many children, working outside the
home became difficult. And so I finally
figured out the route to establishing an
(16:19):
in home daycare as my way of still being
able to be 100% present for my kids. But I
needed to earn money because it made me
feel good, like I was contributing, but we
needed it. Let's flat out needed it. And
we were so busy grinding that the other
pillars you were talking about, we didn't
pay a lot of attention to them. And it was
(16:41):
really what you said, we've got to make
this money, because we often have more
month than money, or we need to know so
many things we want our children to do and
all of these things. And it wasn't until
2010, and we were married in 98, it wasn't
until 2010 we moved out of the country to
(17:01):
the UK. And the first three months we
lived in the UK, we were very angry
because no one was in a hurry. It was the
mindset. The mindset was different. And
one day, my husband and I were at a coffee
shop having a conversation, and it just
dawned on us, like, why are we in a hurry?
(17:25):
Why are we always, you know, all of the
negative things, like, why are we always
chasing this, chasing that? Why aren't we
putting ourselves first? Putting ourselves
first, you know, doing the. Doing the
exercise, spending the time with each
other, spending the time with the kids,
you know, growing spiritually, growing
(17:48):
personally, looking at our own personal
development, all of these things, it took
us leaving the country to have, and it.
The first 90 days outside of the country,
we weren't happy about it, but when it
clicked and we started working on the
things that matter, the money came. I was
like, if one day we woke up and realized,
oh, we're not struggling. When did that
(18:11):
happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when
you just chase money, it's like chasing
the butterfly. It flies away. But if you
just find a way to sit still and feel
centered, the butterfly might just fly in,
you know, graze your shoulder or sit on
(18:32):
your shoulder. And when you're in survival
mode, it's like, well, if I don't work,
then I'm not going to get paid. But you
can also get really sick if you don't take
care of your health. And if you don't take
care of your emotions, you can actually
get so sick that you miss out on way more
work than if you just would have taken
(18:52):
that, you know, 30 minutes to walk every
day or, you know, just spent an extra ten
minutes in the kitchen cooking rather than
doing a microwave meal to get a little
healthier. So it. It really is true that
if you want to stay abundant and balanced,
beautiful, like the. My slogan says,
(19:13):
balance, beautiful and abundant, you want
to take time, and there's different
seasons. You know, if you have five kids
under 18, obviously you're not going to
have as much time to socialize with your
girlfriends because your priority is your
family. But just know that, you know,
maybe you can socialize with your friends,
like, once a month and have, like, a
(19:34):
coffee or a lunch or a walk with a
girlfriend, just. Just knowing that these
seven key areas of life are there and that
you want to touch all of them when you're
living your life. You're absolutely
correct. I'm just. Had I read this book,
had this book been available when I was
old, maybe about 25, things would have
(19:59):
been a lot different, because, yes, you
know, whether you have the big families
like we did, or whatever the case may be,
I found that the Lord designed us mind,
body, and spirit, and we have to take care
of that. And when we take care of
ourselves in that way, literally
(20:22):
everything else is taken care of. When we
take care of ourselves in that way,
everything else is taken care of. And it
took us a long time to figure that out
when we took care of ourselves
individually. And it was scary for me as a
parent, and I know a lot of women will
attest to this. How can I not put my
children first? Or even married women? How
can I not put my husband first? Well,
(20:44):
here's the deal, sis. If you don't put you
first, you have nothing to give them. You
will eventually run out, and then you'll
be upset because nobody is giving to you.
But you've trained everybody around you to
take and not give. And I had to get over
that. Like, I had to go through therapy to
(21:04):
process that. Like, what are. What is
happening here? And not be angry all the
time. But your seven pillars are. I mean,
I don't want to say revolutionary. Cause
it's practical, right? But it
revolutionary. It makes you stop and think
and do the simple things, because we can
(21:24):
have time for simple things like putting
ourselves first. But what are we willing
to sacrifice and recognize that we need to
get rid of in order to be able to put
ourselves first and know that that's not
selfish is necessary. And it's life giving
to me, because if I can't give it to me, I
(21:46):
don't have anything to give to the people
who I'm killing myself to give stuff to.
That's right. I like to say that self care
is not selfish, because the worst thing
you could call a woman is selfish. Women
are taught to nurture and give to everyone
else first and put themselves last. But if
(22:08):
a woman is coming from depletion and
burnout, she's not going to be a good mom.
She's not going to be a good wife. She's
not going to be a joyful, cheerful giver.
She's going to be a resentful giver and a
tired giver. And when you are burned out,
you're not of maximum service to God and
to your fellows. So we want to give from a
(22:31):
full cup. Pour into yourself first with
all seven pillars. With having a morning
practice of prayer, journaling,
meditation, with exercise, with keeping
your emotions and abundance and love, not
letting yourself drop down to fear and
(22:51):
scarcity. Socialize, have fun, have that
date night, do all that stuff. And then
you can show up and be a better mom and be
a better boss, be a better employee,
sister, a daughter. When you are. When
you're full. When you're full of joy. Yes,
yes, yes, yes. And more yeses on top of
(23:14):
that. Ladies, I hope you've been
listening. I hope you have been listening.
And this is one of those episodes where
you. You kind of gotta listen to it once
or twice a and then come back and take
some notes on it. It has to. You have to
roll this over in your spirit. You have to
think on this and meditate on it, because
some of you may be saying liquid. And
(23:35):
Rebecca, y'all make it sound so easy,
because honestly, it is. We make it hard
by carrying a burden that we were never
designed to carry. Like all of these
things that the world has said or culture
has said that we have to be. It's not
true. And as Rebecca said, self care and
(23:59):
putting yourself first is not selfish. At
all. But it is what will make you one of
the tools that you need in your toolbox to
help you become the best version of
yourself at any given moment. Miss
Rebecca, I've definitely been enjoying
this conversation, but before we wrap it
(24:22):
up, and I hate to wrap it up, I'm inviting
you back to another amazing episode of
Laquita's toolbox because I really want to
take some time and unpack maybe one or two
of your pillars and talk more about some
of the programs that you have and making
sure that the Laquita's toolbox audience
knows when and how to connect with you.
(24:43):
So, please, before we wrap up, leave us
one more tool and let us know how to
connect with you and what you have coming
up. Thank you. I will leave you with one
more tool, and that is keeping your mind
in the present. When you think about the
past, it's usually depression or regret. I
(25:06):
am a recovering perfectionist, so it's
like using the words could have, would
have, and should have are ways that I used
to beat myself up. Take would have, could
have, and should have out of your
vocabulary. The past, it's over. It's
done. It all happened the way it was
supposed to. And your divine design by
(25:27):
God. Stop second guessing yourself in the
past. The future is anxiety. Oh, my God.
How am I going to pay my bills? How am I
going to take care of my kids? What's
going to happen? What's going to happen in
the world? You know, there's wars, there's
an election. There's all kinds of stuff to
worry about in the future. We could be an
anxiety sting way out ahead of ourselves,
(25:49):
catastrophizing. I am going to leave you
with the tool of staying in the present
moment. Now, how do you get into the
present moment? You use your five senses.
What am I seeing? What am I smelling? What
am I tasting? What am I touching? What am
I listening to? And you get grounded in
your five senses. And if you're still in
(26:10):
your head, by the way, if you're in your
head, you're dead. But if you still can't
get into the senses and into your body,
then just do the next right thing. If you
are in overwhelm, do the next indicated
action. Ask God. I can tell that you guys
(26:30):
speak about God on this show. Jesus. What
is my next indicated action? Guide my
feet. Guide my feet. Your head can be
spinning. Guide my feet. What is my next
right step? And then you will be amazed if
you keep asking for guidance. We're in the
next right step and the next right step
(26:51):
and the next right step. Before you know
it, your day will be over and you will
have had a peaceful day. And that is the
goal. To live a life of peace, ease, and
spiritual dignity. I love that peace,
ease, and spiritual dignity. You should
write a book on that. I love that peace,
ease and spiritual dignity. Love it, love
(27:12):
it, love it. Listen, Miss Rebecca, it has
been my pleasure, and again, we're going
to have you on again real soon so we can
talk more about the seven pillars of
abundance and stay connected with you.
Because I am a firm believer in having the
right tools in your toolbox. And not just
(27:32):
having them, but knowing how to use them
and easily implement them so they can go
and become a part of who you are to create
the change you need to be need to have in
order to become the best version of
yourself. Thank you again. Thank you to
those that are tuned into this episode of
Laquita's Toolbox. We appreciate you and
(27:53):
love you. Thank you so much for that
support. Please hit that like share and
subscribe button on your favorite podcast
listening platforms. Don't forget to ring
that notification bell as well so you can
be notified when we release new episodes
of Laquita's Toolbox. Until next time, I
am your host, Laquita Manley. You guys be
(28:14):
blessed and have an. Amazing I forgot to
say how to stay in touch with me, so let's
get that. Let's get that. Sorry. Thank you
for having me on your show. I'd love to
stay in touch with your amazing audience.
You can find me on Instagram. Ebeka E.
Whitman Lakita is going to give you that
(28:35):
free journal prompt with my Linktree link,
and you can also go to my website, Rebecca
Elizabeth Whitman with a z. Thank you so
much for having me on this amazing show
and I love Lakita's toolbox. I can't wait
to be back. No problem. Thank you. Listen,
guys, make sure you connect with her. IG
is awesome. I was trolling it recently, so
(28:57):
yes, because she's got some amazing things
there and I know we do have a lot of. You
guys are also on LinkedIn. She is also
showing up absolutely fire on LinkedIn as
well. So make sure you connect with her.
Stay in connection. Look in the show
notes, find that link tree, get that, um.
Get that journal so that you can begin to
(29:19):
work on the best version of you. Until
next time, I'm Laquita Manley. You guys be
blessed and have an amazing rest of your
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