August 29, 2024 • 52 mins
We all wear masks, concealing parts of ourselves that feel too raw, too vulnerable to reveal. But what happens when that mask turns into a self-imposed prison, trapping you in an inauthentic existence?
TyShaundra Davis knows this struggle all too well, as she found herself rejecting the profound meaning woven into the very name bestowed upon her at birth.
In this soul-stirring episode, TyShaundra Davis peels back the layers of her transformative journey from denial to radical self-acceptance. With refreshing candor, she recounts how a divine encounter shattered her resistance, unveiling the empowering essence of her name
—TyShaundra: Strong, Godly Leader. This revelation became the catalyst for her to boldly claim her truth and step into her purpose.
Join us for a deep and powerful conversation that explores the significance of silence, the courage to embrace your true identity, and the transformative power of stepping into your God-given purpose.
Connect with TyShundra:
Who God Says Podcast: https://www.whogodsays.com/
Website: https://sites.google.com/emeraldserve.com/emeraldservices/home
Connect with La'Quita:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back
(00:03):
to another amazing episode of Laquita's
Toolbox. I am your host, Laquita Mandley,
and it is a fantastic day in the Lord, you
guys. I know. I'm excited today because I
have an amazing guest in the studio with
me today. I want to introduce her and have
you guys give her a very warm welcome in
(00:25):
the Laquita's toolbox community, none
other than Miss Tysaundra. And Tysaundra
is a tax accountant and podcast host, and
the name of her show is who God says.
We're going to talk about that a little
bit more in this broadcast, but right now,
what I'd like for you guys to do is take a
moment to hit those, like, share and
(00:47):
subscribe buttons. And let's make sure we
get today's episode out into the hands of
as many people as possible. If you're new
to the podcast, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Consider hitting that subscribe button,
ringing those notification bells so that
you can receive notification when new
episodes of Laquita's toolbox drop on
Tuesday mornings at 05:00 a.m. central
(01:10):
standard time. Miss Tysaundra, welcome to
the show today. Ma'am. How are you? Hi,
hi, hi. I am well. Good to hear you. You
know what I'm doing. All right. I could
complain about quite a few things, but we
ain't gonna complain today. I'm gonna tell
the Lord. Thank you. This is the day that
(01:30):
you have made. I'm trying to rejoice and
be glad in it. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
Amen. Amen. So, look, tell us more about
who you are and what you do. Oh, who am I?
I am Tyshondra in all my glory. Like,
enough to. Right there? Yeah. Like, I
(01:52):
tried to fight it for so long. I wanted to
be everything else but Tyshondra. Oh, no,
I did. I did. I didn't like my name. I
didn't. I just didn't want to be
tashonger. I was like, what is this mess?
This is a whole mess right here. I wanted
to be everything else. I wanted to be
called anything else for that name. Yeah.
(02:15):
God had to make sure he put that on.
Explain to me what that was. Okay, why he
gave me that name. I am the oldest of five
that was raised by my dad. So I was the
little mommy in the house then. I modeled
(02:37):
after my father, like, with everything,
how his mannerisms, his characteristics,
everything. And I became the little man
Mandev. And as I got older, had babies,
got married, got divorced, started a
(02:58):
business. I'm a tax accountant. I have a
tax and booking practice called Emerald
Services. So all of our services are
online now. We're virtual due to the
pandemic. All right, all right, all right.
That's all right. And I opened other
businesses as well. So when I was running
(03:18):
from that name, God had to sit me down and
show me there was a reason I gave you this
name. Tysondra Strong, godly leader. There
was a reason I gave you that name. Yes.
Yes. That was the meaning. That's the
meaning of my name. Come on now. Name set.
(03:38):
Destiny. Come on now. Let's talk about it.
But I ran from it. But hey, now that I
know that we've, me and God has had this
conversation and he made sure, you know, I
couldn't pout about it anymore, I embrace
it. I submit it to him. And I completely
understand why, especially going through
(04:00):
everything that I went through, I
understand why I had to have that name
spoken over me. That's amazing. That's
amazing. Listen, guys, I'm going to leave
you out there in the Laquita's toolbox.
Audience have struggled with your name in
some shape, form or capacity, whether it
was your first name, your last name,
slash, surname. For those of you that
(04:21):
aren't american and or your, or your
middle name, have any of you ever
struggled with that part of who you are?
Your name, because it's amazingly
significant to understanding who we are in
Christ and why we're here, what he created
us to do. So if you have that struggle or
you've had that struggle, what I'd like
(04:42):
you to do, wherever you are listening to
this broadcast, go ahead and reach out to
us. And if you don't mind sharing, share
about. Share with the community about your
struggle with your name and what you've
done to overcome it, or if you are still
yet working through that, let's talk about
that. And maybe someone in our community.
(05:03):
And even in this conversation, we can
bless you with some tips, tools or
strategies that can help you grow past
that struggle. And you can reach out to
podcast acquittamonly.com. again, that's
podcast acquittamonly.com. and let us know
about. And share with us a bit about your
(05:24):
story and your journey with understanding
your name, accepting your name and being
empowered by your name. Yeah. So you have
that struggle with your name. The Lord
took you through a process. He allowed you
to go through a growth process where you
can understand better, understand why your
(05:46):
name had to be Tyshandra. And on the end
of that, were you sitting in that space.
Now, how much of that process, how much of
you know, the things that you gleaned out
of that process are you using for the
success in your spiritual and natural
(06:07):
life? All of it. Absolutely all of it. All
of it. I've always been this no nonsense
type person, and I think all of that came
from my dad. And I'm actually learning
that it's a masculine trait to see things
(06:28):
black and white. And so I picked that up
from my dad. It was like, either you're
all in and you're all out. It's always
been black and white. You do it this way
or not at all. And that kind of. It
traveled. It traveled. It went through my
(06:49):
whole life with parenting, in marriage and
relationships, in business, in pretty much
everything. So just looking at who I was
and who I'm supposed to be, it's like
those traits, even though men sometimes,
(07:11):
I'm gonna say sometimes, a lot of times,
have problems with it, that was just the
core of it. And I had to be refined. I had
to be polished and molded, but that core
of it was absolutely needed. I'm not timid
(07:34):
about a lot of things that people are
timid about. I'm not real good. I don't
really have the kind of, and I'm going to
say care. I don't care a lot about a lot
of things that other people care about. It
doesn't bother me. It's not, you know, I
don't spend my time focusing on things
(07:55):
that regular people focus on, what's on
social media. I don't care whose baby
daddy is, whose baby daddy. It's a lot.
And so I know that I frustrate a lot of
people, but that core had to be developed
in me again. It had to be refined because
(08:18):
I have a mouth. That mouth is piercing.
Oh, my God. That mouth. Oh, my God. If God
did not work on my mouth, I don't think I
would be sitting here right now. And I
just thought I was doing everyone a
service of letting you know. I thought you
(08:39):
needed to know, no matter how you felt
about it. Now I feel like, yes, you should
still be honest, and you should still tell
people what they need to hear. But there's
a way to express that. Yes. Yes. Wait.
(09:01):
That's part of refining. Come on, now.
Let's talk about that refinement process.
How many of y'all need to be refined in
Laquitus toolbox audience today of those
that may be listening for the very first
time? I can identify with you because, my
(09:23):
God. Yeah, my mouth. My husband used to.
And he'll tell me that today. So let me
just be transparent. He'll tell me that
today. So did you have to say that? And
I'm thinking, do you know how many filters
that went through before Ori came out?
Lord have mercy. I might have to go back
in my prayer closet for more filters. But
(09:45):
you're right. You're right. It's, um. Even
when I'm, even when I'm talking about that
in, in the form of, you know, what is
emotional intelligence or what is
effective communication, I go back to
what, what pops up in my mind as a theme
from the Cosby show. And in this scene, it
(10:10):
is when Vanessa brought Dabness home and
wanted them to accept him. Dabnis was a
great fellow. Vanessa, however, was shaky.
And so as they got to know Vanessa, as
they got to know Dabness, their irritation
with Vanessa was like, tenfold. But they
(10:31):
also knew she was going to drop Dabnis.
But nevertheless, they're at the dinner
table, and Cliff gives them a scenario. He
told Dabnis, hey, think of your very
favorite meal. Your very favorite meal.
And Davness told him what that meal was. I
can't remember what the meal is, but it
was a great meal. And he said, now imagine
(10:52):
me cooking that up to perfection just like
you want it, and then taking my trash can
lid, putting that food on the trash can
lid, and then serving you that food. It's
all about how you do it. Presentation,
tone, everything. And so that seeing that
as a kid and even as a young adult, it was
(11:13):
just haha, funny. But, you know, as I
matured, that scene makes so much sense.
Yeah. And can be applied in every way. And
that's what I, that's what I saw when I
heard you talking about refinement. And
even, you know, for those of you that
might be saying, yeah, but you got to tell
the truth. I ain't lie. You write, you
(11:36):
trying to help them and bless them by
telling them something because you
recognizing something and you got a
solution to the problem. How you
delivering it matters. Yes, it didn't
matter that that meal was perfect, what
they wanted and what their body needed.
You gave me, you know, a $200 meal, a
$3400 meal. However, you know, the value
(11:58):
of that meal is, and you put it on a nasty
trash can. I don't want that. Turn that
down and let all that go in the can. Like,
yeah, value is no longer there. It's no
longer there. So listen, y'all, I hope
y'all taking notes. Miss Tashandra has
been blessing us. If you new to the
(12:20):
toolbox, let me tell you how we operate
and how we float. We get something to
write with and to write on, so that when
these tools are blessing our hearts and
minds, we, you know, we write that down,
because that won't forget. We forget as
humans, we flaw. We forget. But when you
write that stuff down, you notate it. It
don't forget. And you can always go back
(12:42):
and learn more. But even in addition to
that, don't hit that save button. So you
could come back, rewind this episode, and
watch it as much as you need to or listen
to it as much as you need to in order to
absorb these tools and then learn how to
implement them. Yeah. So, you know, you.
(13:03):
You walking through that refinement
process, you know, like those of us that
are real, you know, if you spiritually
deep in this place, she was, you know, she
was going through a period. She had done
been delivered. Now she walking in her
deliverance. Right? She's working at her
(13:23):
sanctification of her mouth. Yes. You
think it's like David said, he had to put
a gait about his lips. That mean his mouth
too? I mean, come on now. It was fly.
Yeah. It got to a point where my sister
told me the only time she would call and
(13:44):
ask for any advice or anything was when
she knew there was nobody else to call.
Oh, my. Come on. How did. How did that
make you feel? I was like, you should have
just been called me. What you mean nobody
else to call? I still didn't get it. But,
(14:06):
like, my cousin told me she was going
through something with a guy. And then she
said, I told her I don't even remember.
She asked me a question, I gave her an
answer. She was like, do you even have
feelings? That one I remember. And so I
was like, oh, I'm human. I have feelings.
(14:29):
But, yeah, you know, maybe I shouldn't
have said it like that. That wasn't. I
don't think she's like that. That was a
little clicking moment. That was when it
was like, oh, the light bulb went off. I
can imagine your face being like, you
know, how you. How you look when you. In,
(14:51):
like, a light bulb moment. What? I was
like, okay, okay, okay. Maybe that wasn't
the best way to go about that. Okay. And
then it was crazy. After that, my pastor
asked, well, his wife at the time, she
asked me to, um, help with the praise
(15:14):
dance at the church. And I filtered that
answer had to be 72 times before. That's
when I really started to filter. Like to
sit and filter. At first, it was like you
(15:34):
were talking to a mute. It's like, did you
hear what I said? Second breath of how to
respond. Give me a minute. Oh, my
goodness. Is. Look, y'all, for those of
(15:54):
you that don't go to church, you gotta
understand. Let me give you some
background. So. But, yeah, a lot of my
followers are creatives. You know, whether
you're in the music industry, whatever,
you some type of creative. It ain't no
different in church than it is outside of
church. As creatives, we tend to be a
(16:16):
little tender. Yeah. And a whole lot of. I
won't say a whole lot of crazy, but a
whole lot of different. Now you got a
group of them. Yep. And she is a no
nonsense person that has just learned. I
just can't say everything the way I. You
(16:36):
know, my first thought to say, I probably
should think it twice. Yeah. And now she's
being asked to work with a bunch of
emotional people. Yes. Did your heart
skip? And they were all teenagers. Oh, my
God. Oh, my God. We were all teenagers.
(17:02):
And I'm like, in this generation of, you
know, well, this is my truth. You might
have wanted to say something towards that
little truth, what you do. Oh, my God. So
I was like, okay. The first thing that
(17:23):
came out was excuse. Cause I was like,
well, I don't have any formal training to
do. I'm not formal, you know, I don't know
anything about. And she was like, oh, no.
You know, it's just like, you're just
expressing yourself and let the music hit
you, and whatever God gives you, you just
move that way. And I was like, but they
can do that without me. You know, they
(17:45):
don't need me to do that. And I'm like, in
my head, what kept popping up was, oh, no,
ma'am. You did cheer, you did gymnastics,
you did dance in high school. And I'm
sitting in the back of my head like, shut
up. I don't have training, is what I hear.
That's what I hear. I'm like, shut up. I
(18:07):
didn't go to Juilliard dance school. And
none of this. I'm not doing this. I can't
do this. She was like, her daughter. Oh,
well, she does ballet and everything, so
she can help you out. And I was like, but
why don't she do it? And then you have
someone else that, you know. It was a
whole bunch of excuses. The excuses came
(18:28):
out first, and then she was like, well,
how about this? How about we just go to my
house, we bring all the girls, and you
just see what comes out. And I was like,
okay. The whole time I sat there and I let
her see what came out, like she was doing
it, and. And I was like, yeah, that looks
nice. Yep, yep, that looked nice. And I'm
(18:49):
just going through my head, like, I want
to say this, but I can't say that. I can't
say that. No, I can't say that. Oh, she
gonna put me out her house if I say that?
It was just the whole time I sat in a
chair and I watched, and I had to keep my
(19:11):
mouth closed. That was hard. Hard. I
understand. So hard. Like, it. It is. So,
people, listeners, listen, we're not
saying this is easy. As Tashandra just
said, this part of your. Your growth. This
(19:33):
part of your growth. Um, and this is
important for every aspect of your life,
uh, personally and professionally, your
growth in knowing what to say, when to
say, and how to say it in order to
effectively communicate to your intended
audience. Right? And so here with this,
(19:55):
she had two intended audiences. One is the
leader over it, ie supervisor, you know,
ie customer, as it were, or. And she had
the group of youth, which, again, could
be, you know, end user of your product. If
(20:15):
you have a b, two b product, your end
user, what are. You know, what are they
thinking? What are they saying? How are
they feeling? Are they receiving what I'm,
you know, really, truly receiving what it
is I'm trying to say? Because this is all
about, you know, our growth, and our
growth involves learning how to
effectively communicate, recognizing it's
(20:36):
a problem and what we are willing to give
and do in order to fix that problem and
implement the things that we've learned.
And so you got these audiences, and I, you
know, I love your response better than
mine. My. My daughter is a praise dancer,
and I, you know, full transparency. I got
(20:58):
two left feet, but my daughter does not.
She's wonderful. She could do
choreography, all that. Imagine the style
and the designs of the garments,
everything. And so we were in Germany, and
she was over at the dance ministry, and I
was the adult over her, and it was kids.
(21:18):
So there arose the situation won't go into
the situation. At the end of the day, what
the situation ended up being was a parent
was unhappy with my decision not to allow
their child to perform that Sunday. And
the reason was the child had not been to
enough practices to know everything
(21:39):
correctly. And so she went and told the
pastor, and they called me to the office
and asked me about it, and I told him my
reason. He told me what she said. She was
sitting there and I turned and said, you
need to grow up. Where else at in the
world can you participate in any activity
and you have not been involved in a
preparation for said activity? Make it
(22:01):
make sense, because at this point, we're
all professionals. Right? Like, we're all
professionals. Got a lot of letters behind
our names. I paid a lot of money for these
degrees. Why are we having this
conversation that didn't go well with
nobody? Like, the look on. I don't care
(22:21):
about the look on her face at all. I'm, I
was still growing. Tashandra was still
growing. Yep. And the look on the pastor's
face and his wife was like, wow, you just
said that like that. Mm hmm. I did. For.
No, don't do that, y'all. Don't do that.
(22:43):
Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do
that. Don't do what liquidity. Do what
Tashandra did. Well, sometimes you have to
learn that you, you don't always have to
speak and then you just have to discern
when. When is that time? When is it that
time? When I, this is a time where I
should actually hold my tongue. Do not say
(23:04):
anything. I know a lot of times people
might feel like they're not taking up for
themselves or they're not speaking their
truth or they're not. They're just letting
somebody run over them. Sometimes it's
wise to not say anything. Yeah, I agree.
Which is thousand percent. It's hard,
(23:25):
y'all. It's hard. But the payoff is great
in the end. Yes, the payoff is great in
the end. I mean, if we can honestly assess
right now, and you guys, again, don't
hesitate to reach out to us on your
favorite podcast listening platform. Let
us know in the comments, because you can
leave comments on those platforms. Let us
(23:46):
know in the comments what you think about
today's conversation. Give us some
scenarios. But if you were like, oh,
Laquita, and enough space in the comments
podcast, acquittamondley.com, go ahead and
shoot me that email. And while you shoot
me that email, you could go out to my
website as well and join our podcast
community where we continue in these types
(24:07):
of discussions. Because, again, the
purpose of Laquita's toolbox is to provide
you tools that are easily implementable,
that you can use to help yourself grow
personally and professionally. And
Tashandra is blessing us today with some
tools on maturity and improving and
growing in the space of effective
(24:29):
communication. And right now, what she
said is sometimes the wisdom is just to
shut up. Don't say nothing. Don't say
nothing. And that's amazing. Like, let's
and talk a little bit more about why being
quiet in those times can be actually more
(24:51):
beneficial. And how do we know when to be
quiet? I can give you an example that
actually happened with me on my job. I'm
not going to say where I work because I'm
about to talk about the people. That
person is an active listener. She may feel
(25:11):
differently. Well, you know, but I'm
going. I'm only going to say the truth. So
every year we have a yearly bonus, and
there was three supervisors who kind of
(25:31):
get with the department head and they talk
about everybody and how they did and
what's their interaction with, you know,
what their interaction was with each
employee underneath them, and, you know,
just how do they feel? We did overall,
there was one supervisor in particular who
did not care for me, and I don't know her
(25:56):
reasoning. I just know that I will say
every time she said something in a meeting
that I knew was incorrect, I would correct
her. That would probably be the reason,
but go ahead. Well, because you have a
team of people and you're supposed to be
(26:18):
the person that they look to say, hey, I
got a question about this. And she's given
an answer and the answer is incorrect.
Yeah, I have to correct it because then
somebody's going to do something
incorrect. Correct. Correct. So I will say
that every time she says something that
was incorrect, I would correct her. So
(26:39):
they had this meeting. It was basically
going to determine what our bonus was. And
apparently, yes, she took issue and I
didn't qualify for my bonus that year. Oh,
my. Right. Oh, my. And so when the
(27:01):
department head, we had a. A personal one
on one meeting, and we talked and they
were like, well, there was one person in
particular that really had an issue. And
because we didn't interact with you as
much during this quarter, we had her to go
off of it based on that. And so I was
(27:26):
like, oh, okay. So what I wanted to say
was, can you pull up the transcripts of
these meeting when she's telling these
employees the wrong information about them
doing their reviews and everything and
where that information was corrected? Who
was that information corrected by? Can you
(27:50):
pull up the review forms where she's
reviewed accounts that I've done and
purposely put things into the review that
was not there and who corrected? I did.
Right. But again, it wasn't my job to
correct it. It was the department's head
to job to correct. Right, right. So even
(28:11):
though she was doing things she was not
supposed to, I was also doing things I was
not supposed to. So during this one on
one, I just let the department head talk,
and I didn't say anything. I was like,
okay. I was, oh, my God, steaming mad. But
I was like, okay. So I got off that
(28:32):
meeting, and I clocked out. I was like,
I'm going. I'm done. I am done. And when I
get into my venting stage, I go in my
room, I fuss to myself, or I might go in
my car and drive and fuss, and people
think I'm listening to the radio, but I'm
fussing and saying everything I needed to
(28:53):
say. And the craziest thing was, I was on
a pilot program where the job that she has
was basically set up by me. All right,
come on. I didn't say. I didn't say, you
know what? If it wasn't for me, you
wouldn't even have this job. I didn't say
(29:15):
any of that. I just said, okay. I went on
my little venting. I was driving in my
car, said everything that I wanted to say.
It was just me, God, and the radio. And so
I took two days off of work, went back to
work. I was in my little stage where I was
like, you know what? I'm gonna do the bare
(29:35):
minimum. I'm not doing. I'm doing what I'm
getting paid for. When you tell me to
clock in, that's it. I'm doing the bare
minimum. Then the department head started
seeing a decline in things that I would
do, and she wanted to have another meeting
with me. She had another meeting, and she
(29:56):
was like, you know, I was going to put you
up for a promotion. And I was like, oh,
no, I don't think I want to do. I don't
think I want to do that. She was like,
okay, well, just let me know, you know,
whenever you're ready, we'll put you on
that path and we'll try to get. I was
like, okay, no problem. Not even, let me
(30:18):
see. I don't even think it was another pay
period. The person who had an issue with
me. Mm hmm. She couldn't work anymore.
Mmm. Wow. She couldn't work anymore.
Nobody knew what happened. There was no
(30:40):
PSA or anything. They were just like, oh,
she's gonna be out for a while. We don't
know how long she's gonna be out. We need
somebody to help fill our spot. Kiss. You
said, who you doing one of these? You?
(31:02):
Cause, not me. So during the time when I
wanted to scream at the top of my lungs
and say, she didn't do this. She did this
wrong. She didn't do this. Check this. I
didn't say anything. When things came full
circle, I had the opportunity to actually
(31:24):
be promoted past her position. I didn't
take that. And now I work in her position.
But if I went off and said everything I
wanted to say, none of. Those
opportunities came to you. Yeah. Because
that is not attractive at all. It's not
attractive to anyone in business. It is
(31:47):
not. Now, having a paper trail, having a
record for something that's detrimental to
the business, that's attractive. Very much
so. But if it's a tiff in between two
employees, nobody wants to hear, well, she
said this, and she did that, and she did
this. You're not showing accountability.
You're not showing that you're capable for
(32:11):
any growth within the company. You're not
showing that you could be responsible for
anyone else in the company. So that's not
attractive. I held my tongue, and, yeah.
Wow. Yeah. So, look, y'all, that was so
(32:32):
much blessings in that story. I'm gonna,
you know, summarize it real quick. We can
find ourselves in situations where we're
doing our very best. Matter of fact, we're
going above and beyond what we are
assigned to do. And then, through no fault
(32:55):
of our own, of what we can see, there is
an attack, whether it's on our character,
the quality of our work, our integrity.
You know, we've just been passed and done
wrong. Whatever the case may be, you may
find yourself in that position. And the
takeaway from what Tysonra just said and
her growth moment, because this is the
(33:17):
moment. This is the test. That was the
test. And then we got a growth moment. We
got to glean something from it. What did
we learn in that moment? Her decision to
say nothing resulted in two promotion
opportunities. One promotional opportunity
(33:39):
to sit in the seat of the person who was
actually giving her the problem to be
promoted above that person's position. And
why did that happen? Because the quality
of her work was always impeccable. But
(34:00):
more importantly than the quality of her
work, Doctor King said the content of her
character came out in this conversation
with the suit with the head supervisor in
her. Just saying, okay, I'm going to, as
we say, take this to the head. I'm just
going, you know, let this ride. I'm absorb
this blow right here. I'm not gonna say
(34:22):
anything. I'm still going to do what it is
you're paying me to do. Mm hmm. And let's
see what happens in the, what happened is
the two opportunities for promotion. So
there are significant times to be quiet. I
also heard in that story, keep a paper
trail. Listen. Yeah. You are entrepreneur,
(34:44):
whether you are a w two earner, c suite
exec, whatever the case may be. Keep a
paper trail. Keep a paper trail. Contrary
clients, for our entrepreneurs, contrary
clients, vendors, collaborative partners.
Keep a paper trail. Yep. So that when
(35:07):
these situations arise, it's not if, it's
when. Because it's going to happen. These
situations arise. You have the ability to
protect yourself and defend yourself if
needed. But the important part is the
discern when I need to do that versus when
I need to just say, okay, got you, and
(35:32):
keep moving forward. And so that was an
amazing, amazing story right there.
Tashandra, let me, and also, y'all, let me
take a minute. Don't y'all forget to hit
them, like share and subscribe buttons.
Let's get this podcast out to as many
people as possible. Possible. Because
these types of tools, these right here,
what you just said in that, in that story,
in the last few minutes, that can change
(35:54):
some people's lives. Yeah. Right. Thank
you. Because it's so simple. Not easy to
do, not easy, not easy, but real simple.
And you can reap some great rewards from
the simplest things, right? Yep. Look,
this is, this conversation is real good to
(36:15):
me. So we've been diving into aspects of
effective communication, knowing what to
say, when to say, how to say it, most
importantly, understanding when to say
nothing at all and the benefits that we
can get from that. And so when you, when
you're looking at that, because, so let me
(36:36):
ask you, at this point in your life, were
you already excited about the meaning of
your name? No. At that point, I was kind
of saying why it was at that. During that
(36:56):
time, God was saying, this is your name.
Embrace it. There's a reason why I'm
calling you by this name. And as a matter
of fact, he called my name audibly three
times. And every time, all I thought was
Samuel. That's all I thought, come on,
(37:18):
now. And I, um, he called my name three
times. And I was just like, but why? But
why? So I didn't, I understood that
that's, it had, there's a meaning there.
There was a reason why I still was not in
the place where I'm like, okay, I'm going
to accept everything that you've called,
everything that you've said over me. I
(37:39):
wasn't in acceptance right then. Okay,
okay. No, come on, listen. But he called
it anyway. He called it anyway. And you
heard it? I heard it three times, and I
was sleeping. So that's another reason I
was like, are you calling Samuel? For
(38:01):
sure, for sure. Look, y'all, if y'all
don't know the story of Samuel, for those
of you who may not know that, para just go
to Google and type in story of Samuel. In
the Bible, it's called pop up. And it's
amazing because he called his name three
(38:21):
times. He recognized the voice, not the
owner of the voice. And then someone had
to tell him the leader had to tell him the
leader at that time is named for. And I'm
summarizing this in a way that everybody
can understand, right? The leader. The
leader where Samuel was serving at the
(38:42):
time, his name was Eli. So he went because
he kept going to Eli to say, what's up?
You keep calling me what you want. And Eli
was like, it is not me that is calling
you. It's the Lord. So this is what you do
next time with a head, let your answer be
(39:03):
different. Speak, lord. Yes. Speak, lord.
Servant is listening. Yes, thy servant is
listening. How many of y'all are feeling
that right now? But you feel that the Lord
is calling you to something greater. He's
capturing your attention, is your answer.
(39:26):
Speak, lord. Thy servant is listening. Are
we still at a place where we looking
around like, who you talking to? Where
this coming from? Who this man? How? Focus
me about my sleep. I'm resting. And you
(39:49):
call somebody calling me. It also in that
story shows the significance, because, you
know, in the beginning of your story, your
dad played a significant role in your
life. And so at this time in your life,
you probably either you still have someone
in your life that is in that capacity.
(40:11):
Let's call it mentorship, like that. That
is mentoring you in. In your comparison,
in here. It's always a great idea, this
life that we walk. We can't walk it alone,
right? We gotta walk it with someone else.
Samuel went to Eli. Yeah. Who did you go
(40:31):
to? Tashandra. But more importantly, those
in the listening audience, who do you go
to? And if your answer is nobody, you got
find somebody and make sure they are the
right somebody. Yes, yes, yes. Come on
now. You know, the crazy thing is, the
voice that I heard, it was my dad's voice,
(40:52):
but my dad had passed, so I knew it was
the familiar. The familiar part of that
voice was like that sound like my dad. But
again, he had passed. So I knew it wasn't
my dad. And that's why my next reaction
was, speak, lord, your servant is
listening. Yeah. The person that I go to
(41:13):
will be my pastor. And he has always said,
you know, I love you like you're my
daughter. Like you're my own daughter. And
at first I was like, okay, yeah. Cause
he's a pastor. He gotta, you gotta love
all of us like that. Right, right. I do
that, sir, you better do your job. But he
(41:37):
has been such a resource with my growth
and with my walk with God. I understand.
He says, I love you like you're my
daughter. I understand it now. Yes, yes.
He has been so instrumental in helping me
along. He's been interpreting my dreams.
(42:00):
He's been, which is mind blowing because
I'm on that. What? What? Um. And then he
basically lets me know because I'm, I'm a
checks and balances type girl and God
knows I don't want to. I used to think I
was being annoying with my prayer saying,
(42:20):
okay, but do you want me to do this? But
do you want me to do this? What do you
want me to do? This? Is it like this? Is
it like this? And so now I don't do that
anymore, but I will. He knows that I need
some type of confirmation. He knows I'm
one of those kids that I have always
wanted to know that I was doing the right
(42:42):
thing. I was supposed to do it. Yeah. And
having reassurance was always big for. Me,
and that's good. My pastor, he has
instrumentally used him as my reassurance.
He lives in a whole nother state now and
he will call me and say, you know, I'm so
(43:02):
proud of you. You are definitely doing
what God told you to do. He'll say
something very specific. And I was just
going, oh my God. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
(43:22):
Yeah. Sometimes we need that confirmation.
We do. I'm a person that I definitely have
to have confirmation. I'm, I'm all in. But
I need to know that I'm all in for the
right thing. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to
question whether I'm in or I'm out. I'm
in. I just need to know that I'm in for
(43:43):
the right thing. For the right thing.
Yeah. The right way. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I
love that. I love that. All in. All in.
Man, we can unbox so many different things
today. Doctor Hunter, you want to come
back in for like two, three episodes?
Usually I ask people to come back for one
more. I'm asking you to come back for two,
three more because, listen, look, we are
(44:04):
here trying to grow personally and
professionally and unlocking the different
components of effective communication,
mentorship, having an ear to hear and
receive. Yeah, right. It does you no good
to have a mentor if you don't listen to
them. None at all. None at all. It does
(44:26):
you no good to just receive a boatload of
information if we don't take the time to
learn how to implement it and turn that
information into wisdom. Turn that
knowledge into wisdom and not, you know,
knowledge applied equals wisdom. Wisdom
means taking what I've learned and caused
it to bear fruit in some way. Yeah, in
(44:49):
some way, it has bear fruit for me and the
people connected to me. And I want to make
sure we respect your time. But I have said
that we was gonna talk about who God says
podcast. So that's why we got to come
back, you know, two, three more times,
because some other stuff. But before you
do. Before we do wrap this up, go on to
(45:10):
drop the plug for who God says podcast and
let people know how they can connect with
you. Okay, so I am the host of who God
says podcast. It's basically we're all on
our spiritual journey, but we're all real
people, and life happens. So how do we get
through that as christians, as people,
(45:33):
period. Like, how do we get through that?
If you're not a christian, you still have
standards. How do you live up to those
standards and still go through everyday
life? Still go through boyfriends and
cheating, husbands and children acting
crazy, and people getting on your nerves
at the job, and you relate on your bills?
(45:53):
How do we get through that and still stand
on our principles? So that's what who God
says is about. You can go to the
website@whogosses.com you can see all of
the past episodes. You can follow us on
Instagram. What is it? It's x now, not
Twitter. TikTok, Facebook. We're all over
(46:16):
on all that stuff. Who got sis? And you
can send me an email if you would like to
be a part of the show or if there's
anything that you feel like the church
does not talk about that we should talk
about, send me an email at who God
saysmail.com. Oh, you gonna get a bunch of
(46:39):
emails. That's one of my biggest things. I
know a lot of times, church is too
churchy, and they don't want to talk about
real life. So I want to address
everything. We just did a. Come on. We
just did an episode about sex addiction.
Nobody talks about that in church. Listen,
come on, now. And one of the other things
(47:00):
that they don't feel like that popped in
my head and about that like sex addiction.
But what the church also don't like to
talk about a lot is women. We had a
problem, too. A lot of us have been
delivered from it, still going through it.
(47:22):
But more importantly, because outdated was
never right thinking that we don't have
those desires in the first place. Yeah.
Yeah, we do. Yep, we do. And we are here
being predators. On the low. Yes, we have
(47:44):
some of these poor, defenseless brothers.
Ain't never see it comment and marriage.
Don't fix it. That's not. It's not. It.
Don't fix it. Look, I got it. I don't. I'm
gonna listen to that one. And we don't
talk about it. Look, who got says podcast.
(48:05):
Y'all go out to who God says podcast?
Calm, right? Who got says calm? Who got
says.com? check out the podcast. Yours
truly was a guest on the podcast. We have
a great episode. You can find that episode
actually on my YouTube channel as well. If
you look under my guest appearances,
(48:27):
you'll see my appearance on the who God
says podcast. Y'all going out there, hit
them, subscribe, and like buttons for who
God says. Connect with her on social
media. I assure you, you will be blessed
by the content that you receive. So, you
got anything coming up where we could
connect support in any kind of way? Oh,
(48:55):
the only thing I have coming up is more
episodes. So, you guys, more episodes. I
am stepping into a role that I don't want
to say anything about, that I'm very
nervous about. So I would accept your
prayers. Amen. For strength and capacity
(49:15):
to perform in Jesus name. Amen. And we
would definitely be praying and covering
you, woman of God, as you prepare to step
into this role. I'm going ahead and say
it. The Lord has already prepared you. You
just got to accept it and walk in it,
because let me just leave that right there
for you. You are more than capable and
(49:36):
more than ready. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be
great. Look, for those of you also that
are listening, coming up on July 11 and
12th. And that's in less than two weeks,
y'all. We have the tv media tour, and it
will be right here in Killeen, Texas. Come
one, come all. The tv media tour has been
(49:59):
curated to be a blessing to micro and
small business owners, where in this two
days of workshops, not only will you
understand the importance of community and
collaboration, you will understand the
importance and significance of digital
media and digital effective digital media
strategies. We will be having guests
(50:19):
coming in from across the country teaching
on an abundance of topics that is relevant
to help you develop and grow your personal
brand monetization and how to effectively
enter into the digital marketing space
with ads and having your your brand seen
(50:40):
on tv. You don't want to miss it. July 11
and 12th, right here in Killeen, Texas. Go
out to tv www.tvmediatour.com. get
registered. We want to see your amazing
face in the place on those two days. And
right now we are currently running a
special for if you want to come and just
(51:01):
enjoy the workshops, 150 to come in and
enjoy the workshops. If you want to leave
with a professionally written press
release, professional photos, magazine
articles, and tv interviews, gonna upgrade
that to our regular package. And that
package is $450, y'all. I'll see you all
(51:22):
at the tv media tour in July. Until next
time, I am your host, Laquita Manley. You
guys be great and have an amazing rest of
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back
(00:03):
to another amazing episode of Laquita's
Toolbox. I am your host, Laquita Mandley,
and it is a fantastic day in the Lord, you
guys. I know. I'm excited today because I
have an amazing guest in the studio with
me today. I want to introduce her and have
you guys give her a very warm welcome in
(00:25):
the Laquita's toolbox community, none
other than Miss Tysaundra. And Tysaundra
is a tax accountant and podcast host, and
the name of her show is who God says.
We're going to talk about that a little
bit more in this broadcast, but right now,
what I'd like for you guys to do is take a
moment to hit those, like, share and
(00:47):
subscribe buttons. And let's make sure we
get today's episode out into the hands of
as many people as possible. If you're new
to the podcast, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Consider hitting that subscribe button,
ringing those notification bells so that
you can receive notification when new
episodes of Laquita's toolbox drop on
Tuesday mornings at 05:00 a.m. central
(01:10):
standard time. Miss Tysaundra, welcome to
the show today. Ma'am. How are you? Hi,
hi, hi. I am well. Good to hear you. You
know what I'm doing. All right. I could
complain about quite a few things, but we
ain't gonna complain today. I'm gonna tell
the Lord. Thank you. This is the day that
(01:30):
you have made. I'm trying to rejoice and
be glad in it. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
Amen. Amen. So, look, tell us more about
who you are and what you do. Oh, who am I?
I am Tyshondra in all my glory. Like,
enough to. Right there? Yeah. Like, I
(01:52):
tried to fight it for so long. I wanted to
be everything else but Tyshondra. Oh, no,
I did. I did. I didn't like my name. I
didn't. I just didn't want to be
tashonger. I was like, what is this mess?
This is a whole mess right here. I wanted
to be everything else. I wanted to be
called anything else for that name. Yeah.
(02:15):
God had to make sure he put that on.
Explain to me what that was. Okay, why he
gave me that name. I am the oldest of five
that was raised by my dad. So I was the
little mommy in the house then. I modeled
(02:37):
after my father, like, with everything,
how his mannerisms, his characteristics,
everything. And I became the little man
Mandev. And as I got older, had babies,
got married, got divorced, started a
(02:58):
business. I'm a tax accountant. I have a
tax and booking practice called Emerald
Services. So all of our services are
online now. We're virtual due to the
pandemic. All right, all right, all right.
That's all right. And I opened other
businesses as well. So when I was running
(03:18):
from that name, God had to sit me down and
show me there was a reason I gave you this
name. Tysondra Strong, godly leader. There
was a reason I gave you that name. Yes.
Yes. That was the meaning. That's the
meaning of my name. Come on now. Name set.
(03:38):
Destiny. Come on now. Let's talk about it.
But I ran from it. But hey, now that I
know that we've, me and God has had this
conversation and he made sure, you know, I
couldn't pout about it anymore, I embrace
it. I submit it to him. And I completely
understand why, especially going through
(04:00):
everything that I went through, I
understand why I had to have that name
spoken over me. That's amazing. That's
amazing. Listen, guys, I'm going to leave
you out there in the Laquita's toolbox.
Audience have struggled with your name in
some shape, form or capacity, whether it
was your first name, your last name,
slash, surname. For those of you that
(04:21):
aren't american and or your, or your
middle name, have any of you ever
struggled with that part of who you are?
Your name, because it's amazingly
significant to understanding who we are in
Christ and why we're here, what he created
us to do. So if you have that struggle or
you've had that struggle, what I'd like
(04:42):
you to do, wherever you are listening to
this broadcast, go ahead and reach out to
us. And if you don't mind sharing, share
about. Share with the community about your
struggle with your name and what you've
done to overcome it, or if you are still
yet working through that, let's talk about
that. And maybe someone in our community.
(05:03):
And even in this conversation, we can
bless you with some tips, tools or
strategies that can help you grow past
that struggle. And you can reach out to
podcast acquittamonly.com. again, that's
podcast acquittamonly.com. and let us know
about. And share with us a bit about your
(05:24):
story and your journey with understanding
your name, accepting your name and being
empowered by your name. Yeah. So you have
that struggle with your name. The Lord
took you through a process. He allowed you
to go through a growth process where you
can understand better, understand why your
(05:46):
name had to be Tyshandra. And on the end
of that, were you sitting in that space.
Now, how much of that process, how much of
you know, the things that you gleaned out
of that process are you using for the
success in your spiritual and natural
(06:07):
life? All of it. Absolutely all of it. All
of it. I've always been this no nonsense
type person, and I think all of that came
from my dad. And I'm actually learning
that it's a masculine trait to see things
(06:28):
black and white. And so I picked that up
from my dad. It was like, either you're
all in and you're all out. It's always
been black and white. You do it this way
or not at all. And that kind of. It
traveled. It traveled. It went through my
(06:49):
whole life with parenting, in marriage and
relationships, in business, in pretty much
everything. So just looking at who I was
and who I'm supposed to be, it's like
those traits, even though men sometimes,
(07:11):
I'm gonna say sometimes, a lot of times,
have problems with it, that was just the
core of it. And I had to be refined. I had
to be polished and molded, but that core
of it was absolutely needed. I'm not timid
(07:34):
about a lot of things that people are
timid about. I'm not real good. I don't
really have the kind of, and I'm going to
say care. I don't care a lot about a lot
of things that other people care about. It
doesn't bother me. It's not, you know, I
don't spend my time focusing on things
(07:55):
that regular people focus on, what's on
social media. I don't care whose baby
daddy is, whose baby daddy. It's a lot.
And so I know that I frustrate a lot of
people, but that core had to be developed
in me again. It had to be refined because
(08:18):
I have a mouth. That mouth is piercing.
Oh, my God. That mouth. Oh, my God. If God
did not work on my mouth, I don't think I
would be sitting here right now. And I
just thought I was doing everyone a
service of letting you know. I thought you
(08:39):
needed to know, no matter how you felt
about it. Now I feel like, yes, you should
still be honest, and you should still tell
people what they need to hear. But there's
a way to express that. Yes. Yes. Wait.
(09:01):
That's part of refining. Come on, now.
Let's talk about that refinement process.
How many of y'all need to be refined in
Laquitus toolbox audience today of those
that may be listening for the very first
time? I can identify with you because, my
(09:23):
God. Yeah, my mouth. My husband used to.
And he'll tell me that today. So let me
just be transparent. He'll tell me that
today. So did you have to say that? And
I'm thinking, do you know how many filters
that went through before Ori came out?
Lord have mercy. I might have to go back
in my prayer closet for more filters. But
(09:45):
you're right. You're right. It's, um. Even
when I'm, even when I'm talking about that
in, in the form of, you know, what is
emotional intelligence or what is
effective communication, I go back to
what, what pops up in my mind as a theme
from the Cosby show. And in this scene, it
(10:10):
is when Vanessa brought Dabness home and
wanted them to accept him. Dabnis was a
great fellow. Vanessa, however, was shaky.
And so as they got to know Vanessa, as
they got to know Dabness, their irritation
with Vanessa was like, tenfold. But they
(10:31):
also knew she was going to drop Dabnis.
But nevertheless, they're at the dinner
table, and Cliff gives them a scenario. He
told Dabnis, hey, think of your very
favorite meal. Your very favorite meal.
And Davness told him what that meal was. I
can't remember what the meal is, but it
was a great meal. And he said, now imagine
(10:52):
me cooking that up to perfection just like
you want it, and then taking my trash can
lid, putting that food on the trash can
lid, and then serving you that food. It's
all about how you do it. Presentation,
tone, everything. And so that seeing that
as a kid and even as a young adult, it was
(11:13):
just haha, funny. But, you know, as I
matured, that scene makes so much sense.
Yeah. And can be applied in every way. And
that's what I, that's what I saw when I
heard you talking about refinement. And
even, you know, for those of you that
might be saying, yeah, but you got to tell
the truth. I ain't lie. You write, you
(11:36):
trying to help them and bless them by
telling them something because you
recognizing something and you got a
solution to the problem. How you
delivering it matters. Yes, it didn't
matter that that meal was perfect, what
they wanted and what their body needed.
You gave me, you know, a $200 meal, a
$3400 meal. However, you know, the value
(11:58):
of that meal is, and you put it on a nasty
trash can. I don't want that. Turn that
down and let all that go in the can. Like,
yeah, value is no longer there. It's no
longer there. So listen, y'all, I hope
y'all taking notes. Miss Tashandra has
been blessing us. If you new to the
(12:20):
toolbox, let me tell you how we operate
and how we float. We get something to
write with and to write on, so that when
these tools are blessing our hearts and
minds, we, you know, we write that down,
because that won't forget. We forget as
humans, we flaw. We forget. But when you
write that stuff down, you notate it. It
don't forget. And you can always go back
(12:42):
and learn more. But even in addition to
that, don't hit that save button. So you
could come back, rewind this episode, and
watch it as much as you need to or listen
to it as much as you need to in order to
absorb these tools and then learn how to
implement them. Yeah. So, you know, you.
(13:03):
You walking through that refinement
process, you know, like those of us that
are real, you know, if you spiritually
deep in this place, she was, you know, she
was going through a period. She had done
been delivered. Now she walking in her
deliverance. Right? She's working at her
(13:23):
sanctification of her mouth. Yes. You
think it's like David said, he had to put
a gait about his lips. That mean his mouth
too? I mean, come on now. It was fly.
Yeah. It got to a point where my sister
told me the only time she would call and
(13:44):
ask for any advice or anything was when
she knew there was nobody else to call.
Oh, my. Come on. How did. How did that
make you feel? I was like, you should have
just been called me. What you mean nobody
else to call? I still didn't get it. But,
(14:06):
like, my cousin told me she was going
through something with a guy. And then she
said, I told her I don't even remember.
She asked me a question, I gave her an
answer. She was like, do you even have
feelings? That one I remember. And so I
was like, oh, I'm human. I have feelings.
(14:29):
But, yeah, you know, maybe I shouldn't
have said it like that. That wasn't. I
don't think she's like that. That was a
little clicking moment. That was when it
was like, oh, the light bulb went off. I
can imagine your face being like, you
know, how you. How you look when you. In,
(14:51):
like, a light bulb moment. What? I was
like, okay, okay, okay. Maybe that wasn't
the best way to go about that. Okay. And
then it was crazy. After that, my pastor
asked, well, his wife at the time, she
asked me to, um, help with the praise
(15:14):
dance at the church. And I filtered that
answer had to be 72 times before. That's
when I really started to filter. Like to
sit and filter. At first, it was like you
(15:34):
were talking to a mute. It's like, did you
hear what I said? Second breath of how to
respond. Give me a minute. Oh, my
goodness. Is. Look, y'all, for those of
(15:54):
you that don't go to church, you gotta
understand. Let me give you some
background. So. But, yeah, a lot of my
followers are creatives. You know, whether
you're in the music industry, whatever,
you some type of creative. It ain't no
different in church than it is outside of
church. As creatives, we tend to be a
(16:16):
little tender. Yeah. And a whole lot of. I
won't say a whole lot of crazy, but a
whole lot of different. Now you got a
group of them. Yep. And she is a no
nonsense person that has just learned. I
just can't say everything the way I. You
(16:36):
know, my first thought to say, I probably
should think it twice. Yeah. And now she's
being asked to work with a bunch of
emotional people. Yes. Did your heart
skip? And they were all teenagers. Oh, my
God. Oh, my God. We were all teenagers.
(17:02):
And I'm like, in this generation of, you
know, well, this is my truth. You might
have wanted to say something towards that
little truth, what you do. Oh, my God. So
I was like, okay. The first thing that
(17:23):
came out was excuse. Cause I was like,
well, I don't have any formal training to
do. I'm not formal, you know, I don't know
anything about. And she was like, oh, no.
You know, it's just like, you're just
expressing yourself and let the music hit
you, and whatever God gives you, you just
move that way. And I was like, but they
can do that without me. You know, they
(17:45):
don't need me to do that. And I'm like, in
my head, what kept popping up was, oh, no,
ma'am. You did cheer, you did gymnastics,
you did dance in high school. And I'm
sitting in the back of my head like, shut
up. I don't have training, is what I hear.
That's what I hear. I'm like, shut up. I
(18:07):
didn't go to Juilliard dance school. And
none of this. I'm not doing this. I can't
do this. She was like, her daughter. Oh,
well, she does ballet and everything, so
she can help you out. And I was like, but
why don't she do it? And then you have
someone else that, you know. It was a
whole bunch of excuses. The excuses came
(18:28):
out first, and then she was like, well,
how about this? How about we just go to my
house, we bring all the girls, and you
just see what comes out. And I was like,
okay. The whole time I sat there and I let
her see what came out, like she was doing
it, and. And I was like, yeah, that looks
nice. Yep, yep, that looked nice. And I'm
(18:49):
just going through my head, like, I want
to say this, but I can't say that. I can't
say that. No, I can't say that. Oh, she
gonna put me out her house if I say that?
It was just the whole time I sat in a
chair and I watched, and I had to keep my
(19:11):
mouth closed. That was hard. Hard. I
understand. So hard. Like, it. It is. So,
people, listeners, listen, we're not
saying this is easy. As Tashandra just
said, this part of your. Your growth. This
(19:33):
part of your growth. Um, and this is
important for every aspect of your life,
uh, personally and professionally, your
growth in knowing what to say, when to
say, and how to say it in order to
effectively communicate to your intended
audience. Right? And so here with this,
(19:55):
she had two intended audiences. One is the
leader over it, ie supervisor, you know,
ie customer, as it were, or. And she had
the group of youth, which, again, could
be, you know, end user of your product. If
(20:15):
you have a b, two b product, your end
user, what are. You know, what are they
thinking? What are they saying? How are
they feeling? Are they receiving what I'm,
you know, really, truly receiving what it
is I'm trying to say? Because this is all
about, you know, our growth, and our
growth involves learning how to
effectively communicate, recognizing it's
(20:36):
a problem and what we are willing to give
and do in order to fix that problem and
implement the things that we've learned.
And so you got these audiences, and I, you
know, I love your response better than
mine. My. My daughter is a praise dancer,
and I, you know, full transparency. I got
(20:58):
two left feet, but my daughter does not.
She's wonderful. She could do
choreography, all that. Imagine the style
and the designs of the garments,
everything. And so we were in Germany, and
she was over at the dance ministry, and I
was the adult over her, and it was kids.
(21:18):
So there arose the situation won't go into
the situation. At the end of the day, what
the situation ended up being was a parent
was unhappy with my decision not to allow
their child to perform that Sunday. And
the reason was the child had not been to
enough practices to know everything
(21:39):
correctly. And so she went and told the
pastor, and they called me to the office
and asked me about it, and I told him my
reason. He told me what she said. She was
sitting there and I turned and said, you
need to grow up. Where else at in the
world can you participate in any activity
and you have not been involved in a
preparation for said activity? Make it
(22:01):
make sense, because at this point, we're
all professionals. Right? Like, we're all
professionals. Got a lot of letters behind
our names. I paid a lot of money for these
degrees. Why are we having this
conversation that didn't go well with
nobody? Like, the look on. I don't care
(22:21):
about the look on her face at all. I'm, I
was still growing. Tashandra was still
growing. Yep. And the look on the pastor's
face and his wife was like, wow, you just
said that like that. Mm hmm. I did. For.
No, don't do that, y'all. Don't do that.
(22:43):
Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do
that. Don't do what liquidity. Do what
Tashandra did. Well, sometimes you have to
learn that you, you don't always have to
speak and then you just have to discern
when. When is that time? When is it that
time? When I, this is a time where I
should actually hold my tongue. Do not say
(23:04):
anything. I know a lot of times people
might feel like they're not taking up for
themselves or they're not speaking their
truth or they're not. They're just letting
somebody run over them. Sometimes it's
wise to not say anything. Yeah, I agree.
Which is thousand percent. It's hard,
(23:25):
y'all. It's hard. But the payoff is great
in the end. Yes, the payoff is great in
the end. I mean, if we can honestly assess
right now, and you guys, again, don't
hesitate to reach out to us on your
favorite podcast listening platform. Let
us know in the comments, because you can
leave comments on those platforms. Let us
(23:46):
know in the comments what you think about
today's conversation. Give us some
scenarios. But if you were like, oh,
Laquita, and enough space in the comments
podcast, acquittamondley.com, go ahead and
shoot me that email. And while you shoot
me that email, you could go out to my
website as well and join our podcast
community where we continue in these types
(24:07):
of discussions. Because, again, the
purpose of Laquita's toolbox is to provide
you tools that are easily implementable,
that you can use to help yourself grow
personally and professionally. And
Tashandra is blessing us today with some
tools on maturity and improving and
growing in the space of effective
(24:29):
communication. And right now, what she
said is sometimes the wisdom is just to
shut up. Don't say nothing. Don't say
nothing. And that's amazing. Like, let's
and talk a little bit more about why being
quiet in those times can be actually more
(24:51):
beneficial. And how do we know when to be
quiet? I can give you an example that
actually happened with me on my job. I'm
not going to say where I work because I'm
about to talk about the people. That
person is an active listener. She may feel
(25:11):
differently. Well, you know, but I'm
going. I'm only going to say the truth. So
every year we have a yearly bonus, and
there was three supervisors who kind of
(25:31):
get with the department head and they talk
about everybody and how they did and
what's their interaction with, you know,
what their interaction was with each
employee underneath them, and, you know,
just how do they feel? We did overall,
there was one supervisor in particular who
did not care for me, and I don't know her
(25:56):
reasoning. I just know that I will say
every time she said something in a meeting
that I knew was incorrect, I would correct
her. That would probably be the reason,
but go ahead. Well, because you have a
team of people and you're supposed to be
(26:18):
the person that they look to say, hey, I
got a question about this. And she's given
an answer and the answer is incorrect.
Yeah, I have to correct it because then
somebody's going to do something
incorrect. Correct. Correct. So I will say
that every time she says something that
was incorrect, I would correct her. So
(26:39):
they had this meeting. It was basically
going to determine what our bonus was. And
apparently, yes, she took issue and I
didn't qualify for my bonus that year. Oh,
my. Right. Oh, my. And so when the
(27:01):
department head, we had a. A personal one
on one meeting, and we talked and they
were like, well, there was one person in
particular that really had an issue. And
because we didn't interact with you as
much during this quarter, we had her to go
off of it based on that. And so I was
(27:26):
like, oh, okay. So what I wanted to say
was, can you pull up the transcripts of
these meeting when she's telling these
employees the wrong information about them
doing their reviews and everything and
where that information was corrected? Who
was that information corrected by? Can you
(27:50):
pull up the review forms where she's
reviewed accounts that I've done and
purposely put things into the review that
was not there and who corrected? I did.
Right. But again, it wasn't my job to
correct it. It was the department's head
to job to correct. Right, right. So even
(28:11):
though she was doing things she was not
supposed to, I was also doing things I was
not supposed to. So during this one on
one, I just let the department head talk,
and I didn't say anything. I was like,
okay. I was, oh, my God, steaming mad. But
I was like, okay. So I got off that
(28:32):
meeting, and I clocked out. I was like,
I'm going. I'm done. I am done. And when I
get into my venting stage, I go in my
room, I fuss to myself, or I might go in
my car and drive and fuss, and people
think I'm listening to the radio, but I'm
fussing and saying everything I needed to
(28:53):
say. And the craziest thing was, I was on
a pilot program where the job that she has
was basically set up by me. All right,
come on. I didn't say. I didn't say, you
know what? If it wasn't for me, you
wouldn't even have this job. I didn't say
(29:15):
any of that. I just said, okay. I went on
my little venting. I was driving in my
car, said everything that I wanted to say.
It was just me, God, and the radio. And so
I took two days off of work, went back to
work. I was in my little stage where I was
like, you know what? I'm gonna do the bare
(29:35):
minimum. I'm not doing. I'm doing what I'm
getting paid for. When you tell me to
clock in, that's it. I'm doing the bare
minimum. Then the department head started
seeing a decline in things that I would
do, and she wanted to have another meeting
with me. She had another meeting, and she
(29:56):
was like, you know, I was going to put you
up for a promotion. And I was like, oh,
no, I don't think I want to do. I don't
think I want to do that. She was like,
okay, well, just let me know, you know,
whenever you're ready, we'll put you on
that path and we'll try to get. I was
like, okay, no problem. Not even, let me
(30:18):
see. I don't even think it was another pay
period. The person who had an issue with
me. Mm hmm. She couldn't work anymore.
Mmm. Wow. She couldn't work anymore.
Nobody knew what happened. There was no
(30:40):
PSA or anything. They were just like, oh,
she's gonna be out for a while. We don't
know how long she's gonna be out. We need
somebody to help fill our spot. Kiss. You
said, who you doing one of these? You?
(31:02):
Cause, not me. So during the time when I
wanted to scream at the top of my lungs
and say, she didn't do this. She did this
wrong. She didn't do this. Check this. I
didn't say anything. When things came full
circle, I had the opportunity to actually
(31:24):
be promoted past her position. I didn't
take that. And now I work in her position.
But if I went off and said everything I
wanted to say, none of. Those
opportunities came to you. Yeah. Because
that is not attractive at all. It's not
attractive to anyone in business. It is
(31:47):
not. Now, having a paper trail, having a
record for something that's detrimental to
the business, that's attractive. Very much
so. But if it's a tiff in between two
employees, nobody wants to hear, well, she
said this, and she did that, and she did
this. You're not showing accountability.
You're not showing that you're capable for
(32:11):
any growth within the company. You're not
showing that you could be responsible for
anyone else in the company. So that's not
attractive. I held my tongue, and, yeah.
Wow. Yeah. So, look, y'all, that was so
(32:32):
much blessings in that story. I'm gonna,
you know, summarize it real quick. We can
find ourselves in situations where we're
doing our very best. Matter of fact, we're
going above and beyond what we are
assigned to do. And then, through no fault
(32:55):
of our own, of what we can see, there is
an attack, whether it's on our character,
the quality of our work, our integrity.
You know, we've just been passed and done
wrong. Whatever the case may be, you may
find yourself in that position. And the
takeaway from what Tysonra just said and
her growth moment, because this is the
(33:17):
moment. This is the test. That was the
test. And then we got a growth moment. We
got to glean something from it. What did
we learn in that moment? Her decision to
say nothing resulted in two promotion
opportunities. One promotional opportunity
(33:39):
to sit in the seat of the person who was
actually giving her the problem to be
promoted above that person's position. And
why did that happen? Because the quality
of her work was always impeccable. But
(34:00):
more importantly than the quality of her
work, Doctor King said the content of her
character came out in this conversation
with the suit with the head supervisor in
her. Just saying, okay, I'm going to, as
we say, take this to the head. I'm just
going, you know, let this ride. I'm absorb
this blow right here. I'm not gonna say
(34:22):
anything. I'm still going to do what it is
you're paying me to do. Mm hmm. And let's
see what happens in the, what happened is
the two opportunities for promotion. So
there are significant times to be quiet. I
also heard in that story, keep a paper
trail. Listen. Yeah. You are entrepreneur,
(34:44):
whether you are a w two earner, c suite
exec, whatever the case may be. Keep a
paper trail. Keep a paper trail. Contrary
clients, for our entrepreneurs, contrary
clients, vendors, collaborative partners.
Keep a paper trail. Yep. So that when
(35:07):
these situations arise, it's not if, it's
when. Because it's going to happen. These
situations arise. You have the ability to
protect yourself and defend yourself if
needed. But the important part is the
discern when I need to do that versus when
I need to just say, okay, got you, and
(35:32):
keep moving forward. And so that was an
amazing, amazing story right there.
Tashandra, let me, and also, y'all, let me
take a minute. Don't y'all forget to hit
them, like share and subscribe buttons.
Let's get this podcast out to as many
people as possible. Possible. Because
these types of tools, these right here,
what you just said in that, in that story,
in the last few minutes, that can change
(35:54):
some people's lives. Yeah. Right. Thank
you. Because it's so simple. Not easy to
do, not easy, not easy, but real simple.
And you can reap some great rewards from
the simplest things, right? Yep. Look,
this is, this conversation is real good to
(36:15):
me. So we've been diving into aspects of
effective communication, knowing what to
say, when to say, how to say it, most
importantly, understanding when to say
nothing at all and the benefits that we
can get from that. And so when you, when
you're looking at that, because, so let me
(36:36):
ask you, at this point in your life, were
you already excited about the meaning of
your name? No. At that point, I was kind
of saying why it was at that. During that
(36:56):
time, God was saying, this is your name.
Embrace it. There's a reason why I'm
calling you by this name. And as a matter
of fact, he called my name audibly three
times. And every time, all I thought was
Samuel. That's all I thought, come on,
(37:18):
now. And I, um, he called my name three
times. And I was just like, but why? But
why? So I didn't, I understood that
that's, it had, there's a meaning there.
There was a reason why I still was not in
the place where I'm like, okay, I'm going
to accept everything that you've called,
everything that you've said over me. I
(37:39):
wasn't in acceptance right then. Okay,
okay. No, come on, listen. But he called
it anyway. He called it anyway. And you
heard it? I heard it three times, and I
was sleeping. So that's another reason I
was like, are you calling Samuel? For
(38:01):
sure, for sure. Look, y'all, if y'all
don't know the story of Samuel, for those
of you who may not know that, para just go
to Google and type in story of Samuel. In
the Bible, it's called pop up. And it's
amazing because he called his name three
(38:21):
times. He recognized the voice, not the
owner of the voice. And then someone had
to tell him the leader had to tell him the
leader at that time is named for. And I'm
summarizing this in a way that everybody
can understand, right? The leader. The
leader where Samuel was serving at the
(38:42):
time, his name was Eli. So he went because
he kept going to Eli to say, what's up?
You keep calling me what you want. And Eli
was like, it is not me that is calling
you. It's the Lord. So this is what you do
next time with a head, let your answer be
(39:03):
different. Speak, lord. Yes. Speak, lord.
Servant is listening. Yes, thy servant is
listening. How many of y'all are feeling
that right now? But you feel that the Lord
is calling you to something greater. He's
capturing your attention, is your answer.
(39:26):
Speak, lord. Thy servant is listening. Are
we still at a place where we looking
around like, who you talking to? Where
this coming from? Who this man? How? Focus
me about my sleep. I'm resting. And you
(39:49):
call somebody calling me. It also in that
story shows the significance, because, you
know, in the beginning of your story, your
dad played a significant role in your
life. And so at this time in your life,
you probably either you still have someone
in your life that is in that capacity.
(40:11):
Let's call it mentorship, like that. That
is mentoring you in. In your comparison,
in here. It's always a great idea, this
life that we walk. We can't walk it alone,
right? We gotta walk it with someone else.
Samuel went to Eli. Yeah. Who did you go
(40:31):
to? Tashandra. But more importantly, those
in the listening audience, who do you go
to? And if your answer is nobody, you got
find somebody and make sure they are the
right somebody. Yes, yes, yes. Come on
now. You know, the crazy thing is, the
voice that I heard, it was my dad's voice,
(40:52):
but my dad had passed, so I knew it was
the familiar. The familiar part of that
voice was like that sound like my dad. But
again, he had passed. So I knew it wasn't
my dad. And that's why my next reaction
was, speak, lord, your servant is
listening. Yeah. The person that I go to
(41:13):
will be my pastor. And he has always said,
you know, I love you like you're my
daughter. Like you're my own daughter. And
at first I was like, okay, yeah. Cause
he's a pastor. He gotta, you gotta love
all of us like that. Right, right. I do
that, sir, you better do your job. But he
(41:37):
has been such a resource with my growth
and with my walk with God. I understand.
He says, I love you like you're my
daughter. I understand it now. Yes, yes.
He has been so instrumental in helping me
along. He's been interpreting my dreams.
(42:00):
He's been, which is mind blowing because
I'm on that. What? What? Um. And then he
basically lets me know because I'm, I'm a
checks and balances type girl and God
knows I don't want to. I used to think I
was being annoying with my prayer saying,
(42:20):
okay, but do you want me to do this? But
do you want me to do this? What do you
want me to do? This? Is it like this? Is
it like this? And so now I don't do that
anymore, but I will. He knows that I need
some type of confirmation. He knows I'm
one of those kids that I have always
wanted to know that I was doing the right
(42:42):
thing. I was supposed to do it. Yeah. And
having reassurance was always big for. Me,
and that's good. My pastor, he has
instrumentally used him as my reassurance.
He lives in a whole nother state now and
he will call me and say, you know, I'm so
(43:02):
proud of you. You are definitely doing
what God told you to do. He'll say
something very specific. And I was just
going, oh my God. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
(43:22):
Yeah. Sometimes we need that confirmation.
We do. I'm a person that I definitely have
to have confirmation. I'm, I'm all in. But
I need to know that I'm all in for the
right thing. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to
question whether I'm in or I'm out. I'm
in. I just need to know that I'm in for
(43:43):
the right thing. For the right thing.
Yeah. The right way. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I
love that. I love that. All in. All in.
Man, we can unbox so many different things
today. Doctor Hunter, you want to come
back in for like two, three episodes?
Usually I ask people to come back for one
more. I'm asking you to come back for two,
three more because, listen, look, we are
(44:04):
here trying to grow personally and
professionally and unlocking the different
components of effective communication,
mentorship, having an ear to hear and
receive. Yeah, right. It does you no good
to have a mentor if you don't listen to
them. None at all. None at all. It does
(44:26):
you no good to just receive a boatload of
information if we don't take the time to
learn how to implement it and turn that
information into wisdom. Turn that
knowledge into wisdom and not, you know,
knowledge applied equals wisdom. Wisdom
means taking what I've learned and caused
it to bear fruit in some way. Yeah, in
(44:49):
some way, it has bear fruit for me and the
people connected to me. And I want to make
sure we respect your time. But I have said
that we was gonna talk about who God says
podcast. So that's why we got to come
back, you know, two, three more times,
because some other stuff. But before you
do. Before we do wrap this up, go on to
(45:10):
drop the plug for who God says podcast and
let people know how they can connect with
you. Okay, so I am the host of who God
says podcast. It's basically we're all on
our spiritual journey, but we're all real
people, and life happens. So how do we get
through that as christians, as people,
(45:33):
period. Like, how do we get through that?
If you're not a christian, you still have
standards. How do you live up to those
standards and still go through everyday
life? Still go through boyfriends and
cheating, husbands and children acting
crazy, and people getting on your nerves
at the job, and you relate on your bills?
(45:53):
How do we get through that and still stand
on our principles? So that's what who God
says is about. You can go to the
website@whogosses.com you can see all of
the past episodes. You can follow us on
Instagram. What is it? It's x now, not
Twitter. TikTok, Facebook. We're all over
(46:16):
on all that stuff. Who got sis? And you
can send me an email if you would like to
be a part of the show or if there's
anything that you feel like the church
does not talk about that we should talk
about, send me an email at who God
saysmail.com. Oh, you gonna get a bunch of
(46:39):
emails. That's one of my biggest things. I
know a lot of times, church is too
churchy, and they don't want to talk about
real life. So I want to address
everything. We just did a. Come on. We
just did an episode about sex addiction.
Nobody talks about that in church. Listen,
come on, now. And one of the other things
(47:00):
that they don't feel like that popped in
my head and about that like sex addiction.
But what the church also don't like to
talk about a lot is women. We had a
problem, too. A lot of us have been
delivered from it, still going through it.
(47:22):
But more importantly, because outdated was
never right thinking that we don't have
those desires in the first place. Yeah.
Yeah, we do. Yep, we do. And we are here
being predators. On the low. Yes, we have
(47:44):
some of these poor, defenseless brothers.
Ain't never see it comment and marriage.
Don't fix it. That's not. It's not. It.
Don't fix it. Look, I got it. I don't. I'm
gonna listen to that one. And we don't
talk about it. Look, who got says podcast.
(48:05):
Y'all go out to who God says podcast?
Calm, right? Who got says calm? Who got
says.com? check out the podcast. Yours
truly was a guest on the podcast. We have
a great episode. You can find that episode
actually on my YouTube channel as well. If
you look under my guest appearances,
(48:27):
you'll see my appearance on the who God
says podcast. Y'all going out there, hit
them, subscribe, and like buttons for who
God says. Connect with her on social
media. I assure you, you will be blessed
by the content that you receive. So, you
got anything coming up where we could
connect support in any kind of way? Oh,
(48:55):
the only thing I have coming up is more
episodes. So, you guys, more episodes. I
am stepping into a role that I don't want
to say anything about, that I'm very
nervous about. So I would accept your
prayers. Amen. For strength and capacity
(49:15):
to perform in Jesus name. Amen. And we
would definitely be praying and covering
you, woman of God, as you prepare to step
into this role. I'm going ahead and say
it. The Lord has already prepared you. You
just got to accept it and walk in it,
because let me just leave that right there
for you. You are more than capable and
(49:36):
more than ready. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be
great. Look, for those of you also that
are listening, coming up on July 11 and
12th. And that's in less than two weeks,
y'all. We have the tv media tour, and it
will be right here in Killeen, Texas. Come
one, come all. The tv media tour has been
(49:59):
curated to be a blessing to micro and
small business owners, where in this two
days of workshops, not only will you
understand the importance of community and
collaboration, you will understand the
importance and significance of digital
media and digital effective digital media
strategies. We will be having guests
(50:19):
coming in from across the country teaching
on an abundance of topics that is relevant
to help you develop and grow your personal
brand monetization and how to effectively
enter into the digital marketing space
with ads and having your your brand seen
(50:40):
on tv. You don't want to miss it. July 11
and 12th, right here in Killeen, Texas. Go
out to tv www.tvmediatour.com. get
registered. We want to see your amazing
face in the place on those two days. And
right now we are currently running a
special for if you want to come and just
(51:01):
enjoy the workshops, 150 to come in and
enjoy the workshops. If you want to leave
with a professionally written press
release, professional photos, magazine
articles, and tv interviews, gonna upgrade
that to our regular package. And that
package is $450, y'all. I'll see you all
(51:22):
at the tv media tour in July. Until next
time, I am your host, Laquita Manley. You
guys be great and have an amazing rest of
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