March 28, 2024 • 21 mins
Amigas, you asked some questions and the Latina Approved community answered! In this episode Tani Estefy and Lily B. give their perspective on timing when it comes to intimacy and also read some encouraging words for mujeres going through a breakup.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh Lassos Latina approofed and we're your hosts Stanny, Steffi
and Lily B.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And this podcast is dedicated to our bilingual Latinas who
are resilientanas and.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
For the Latinas that resonate with the phrase zyvia ky
idyah yah.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Join us on this journey every week where we engage
in relatable conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Share uplifting stories and empowering insights from everything that.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Is Latina Approves. Hey, welcome to episode four.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, and on this episode, man, there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Here and I'm so excited for this one.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And this episode is about mheads under thirty who ask
questions and muheadas over thirty answered. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So to give you a little background, one thing that
we love to do on our Latina approved social media
on Instagram, we love to connect with our community and
ask them questions and get to learn about them. So
we did this post where we encourage our followers under
thirty to ask questions and are mohadas over thirty to
(01:13):
answer the questions. And boy, we got a lot of comments,
so many comments.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I'm talking about like over a thousand, Like just so
much interaction, right, so much interaction and it was beautiful
to see the Moheadas community just come together supporting one another.
So we want to talk about that. We want to
talk about community. If you haven't listened to our previous
episode podcast episode about how to build a community and
(01:42):
Mohada supporting Moheadas, I encourage you to please go check
it out. We provide different tips on there on how
to support other women and start building that community or
take and be part of that community. So with that,
we wanted to talk about some of the questions that
Muha is under thirty ass and what the responses were
and what we think about that.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yes, right, let's get into it, because it was a
beautiful to see girls really being vulnerable and asking these questions.
And honestly, the responses I saw were pretty much uplifting
and encouraging. So yeah, let's start with the first question.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, let's get into it. So we'll all maintain the
names anonymous. The response is anonymous, but if you would
like to take a look, the post is live on
our Instagram page and you'll see you'll see a picture there.
You'll see my picture, and then you'll see the question
and you'll see all the the amazing responses. So question
(02:39):
number one, here we go. So it's going to be
a read, so focusing and listen. Okay, So here we go.
My baby daddy and I had our baby at eighteen
and he was nineteen. I am now. I am now
twenty and he's twenty two. I know he's going to
come back because we've been on and off for the
(03:01):
past two point five years. I finally shut him off
this last time, but he tried. And I have moments
where I miss our family and him, but so much
has been done that I know it would be disrespectful
to myself and my daughter if I were to take
him back. Should I keep letting how young we were
(03:25):
and are be an excuse and maybe try again later.
I'm doing better without him, but I know there's still
so much love there. I don't know. Do you guys
really change? Do guys really change and mature as they're older?
That was a lot to impact there, right to impact there? Yeah, yeah,
(03:47):
and there's a lot. And I mean maybe we start
off with some of the responses that some of the
community community members of letting that prove advice.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yes, So one answer that we received, this person said nope,
as a forty seven year old. I can tell you
it won't work now or in the future. You're holding
yourself back from meeting your true love. Don't let the
idea of what could be keep you from the reality
(04:18):
of things.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Wow, that's deep. You know, that's super deep.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's super deep, because sometimes we do hold on to,
like the special moments that you share with someone, right.
So it's like it's hard to let go of those moments, right,
And there's so many moments that you live with someone
that other people don't see, right.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah. And you know, I do believe in giving people
second chances. Yeah. I also believe that people can change. However,
I also think that there's people that cannot change, and
there's people that do not deserve, you know, that do
(05:01):
not deserve a second chance. I know that this this comment,
this question that came in. She said that they've been
through a lot and that they're young, but that she's
doing something that's important here is that she mentions that she's.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Now doing better without him.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So why take that step back? And I know that
she mentions this because she misses her family and the daughter.
Why risk the progress?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Why ri is the progress? If you're already doing better?
Why take a step back?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
You know?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Badras? But what is that saying that goes or something
like that where it's like why look back to that?
And the why for her is because of her family,
which is totally And I think this can take different avenues, right,
It can take and try and again. But it sounds
(05:54):
like she already tried again, so what's new and retrying?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And I can speak from you know, my personal relationships
experience in a situation where do people change. I was
in an eight year relationship in the past and no,
I would say did you change? No? And time goes by,
(06:21):
you know, time goes by. So I think it can
be you know, you can see this from different perspectives
and giving the person the benefit of a doubt, but
how many how many tries are you going to get
to before you have to like move on? You know.
So it's definitely something to think about. And there's another
(06:42):
answer like, well, we'll share another answer from another community
member from Latina proof that she says and it's super important.
Like what she said, it just kind of makes you
think things in a different perspective. She goes, question, would
you want your daughter dating that type of man? Straight up,
(07:03):
straight up? Do you want your daughter dating that type
of man? Both of you are so young and have
so much discovering to do. Locus, invest in yourself, become
the woman you want for your daughter to see, it's
normal to mourn your relationship and family.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
That that that is That's another deep response, you know.
I think just the thought of like, do you want
your daughter dating that type of man? I think you
have your immediate answer there, right, Yeah, Like I think
that says a lot, whether good or bad. Like that
says a lot. And I'm also the believer, like it's
so true what's meant for you will be for you
(07:46):
and find its way and definitely a plus a plus
sign to like investing yourself and becoming the woman that
you want to be, especially for your daughter. Right And
I think through relationships, it's important to know that you
do more. In relationships, you do go through a stage
of grief that you possibly will never see this person again.
(08:09):
So but in this case he is the father of her.
But it is a process of like healing as well. Yes,
absolutely so.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Sending positive vibes and love.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
To to our.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Our community member, our friend or amiga you know that
that took a lot of courage to say, you know what,
let me speak up and let me comment my situation,
and just there's hundreds of responses to just this one
one question, So feel free to go show some support,
show some love, words of encouragement, they're always beautiful and
(08:49):
much needed.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yes, yes, So moving on to our next question. Our
next question from our anonymous follower is when is the
best time to be intimate with anyone?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
If there is such a thing as too as too early?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Is there a game to play in terms of waiting
to be intimate with someone?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Oh that is a good that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
That's a super good question. Oh my mind, this one
is a spicy one. Seriously, in terms of waiting to
be when is when is the best time to be
intimate with anyone? Okay, let's break the ice. One of
the answers that one of our community Latina FRO community
(09:37):
members said, she goes, do you booth? Well, that's one
way to look at it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Right, No, that's definitely one way to look at it.
And I mean, I think it's a fair question. I
think it's a question that we kind of all have
had at some point. So another response that is interesting.
This person writes, Okay, no game, do what feels right
to you when it feels right. I worked hard to
(10:06):
be the good girl in my early years, and I
regret it. I wish I would have allowed myself the
grace of doing what felt right for me instead of
working working about what someone else was good going to think.
I think she met worrying, worrying about what someone else
was going to think. The man I thought I was
going to end up with shamed me when we broke up.
(10:28):
He said I gave it up too quick, and in
quotes in parentheses, she puts, not true, but he knew
it would hurt. I slept with my now husband on
our first day birthday.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It just felt right.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
We clicked, and nineteen years later, we still click.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
There is no one size fits all solution. Do what
is right for you.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
There you go, And you know what. I love that
she said, there is no one size fits all solution. Yeah, No,
that's absolutely true, and I think that is the ultimate truth.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Like it.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
A woman's body is a woman's body, and she should
do what she wants with her body, what she, however
she wants, you know, and I think, as long as
it feels right, right, and it's natural, and it's your choice, right,
you're not feeling pressured like it's what you want to do. Yeah,
as long as it's I feel like coming from a
(11:28):
good space, from a good place, and you feel that
completely comfortable. Most importantly and also most importantly safe, you know,
practicing safe intimacy. I would say it's super important to
take into account and take into accounting your emotions and
what makes you happy, not what makes the other person happy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Right, So there isn't really like a right time. It's
your time is the right time.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, exactly, you said it. You say at it mess,
your time is the right time, and that is inclusive
of you feeling comfortable, you feeling happy, and you feel
feeling okay and one hundred percent sure with your choice
and and your you know what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, And I think that the most of the responses
that we got on this question did say that, So
I think I think that was great.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, that that is great. I mean should we should
we sum this up with another answer that that we got. Yeah,
let's do it, okay, So they the next answer that
we got to this question was I think it's up
to you and what you are comfortable with. I would
say sometimes it's worth the wait because you want your
relationship to be based on more than intimacy. There are
(12:45):
other ways to be intimate, to enjoy each other. I
love that. Yeah, that is so true. There's other ways
to be intimate with a person beyond just physically, and
that is emotional intimate and spiritually intimate, which are also
important points. So I love that she said that. And
(13:09):
you know, what do you think about it's worth the wait?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I definitely think it's worth the wait personally, just because
I've always been like more shy and like willing to wait.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
That's just like my personal preference. But I definitely think
things like the things that are worth it are worth
like waiting for.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah, it's definitely worth waiting for, my agree. And also
this keeps This is more. This is more of like
from Steve Harvey, if you know, you know where he says,
and I don't know, maybe this is another topic to
be discussed. This is not my own personal like I
guess advice, but it just came to mind where Steve
(13:52):
Steve Harvey says that he has like a nighty day, Yes,
Ny day rule, so that you can get to know
the pres I do think it's important to get to
know a person. You know the person from I guess
personal preference. You need to get to know the person,
and it's up to you. It's ultimately, we're all different
(14:13):
and we all approach intimacy in a different way.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
So, right, some people are more casual about intimacy versus
some people want to only be intimate with people that
they're in a relationship with.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Both are you know.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Very respectable.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Whatever you want is, you know what you want. But
you know, for those of.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Us who you know, like to be intimate with people
that were in a relationship with than that ninety day.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
So these are great, great topics. Now let's dive into
one more final question. And by the way, there's so
many questions on that thread which are worth the read,
but we'll do one more.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yes, so let's dive into it, all right, what is
the most important thing you wish you knew in your twenties.
I'm scared to wake up one day and realize I
had wasted mind.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Oh wow, Yeah, that's a really good question. And you
know what, shout out to these moveheads that are posting
up their questions, like seriously shout out to them because
it takes a lot. And this is a great question.
What's the most important thing you wish you knew in
your twenties. Let's start off with one of one of
the answers, right, So one of.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
The answers says that there is a lesson in every stage,
and when you look back, you will love and understand
your past self better. You'll be easier on your past
self than you currently are with your present self. Look
at yourself with kind eyes and know you're growing with
the little heart.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And I love that, you know. I think every stage
in your life, when you look back, it's it's a learning,
you know, and I think you need to learn to
embrace because that has shaped who you now are, whichever
age you're currently at. So it's like looking at, you know,
the lessons that you have learned in every stage. Like
(16:14):
they like this comment and saying, Okay, what did I learn?
What What did I really enjoy through, you know, from
that stage in my life? And what didn't I enjoy
in that stage in my life? So it's also living
in the present moment.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think, yeah, and let me ask you what is
something you wish you knew in your twenties that maybe
you know now you.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Know something is something that I wish I knew in
my twenties, is like, don't rush to be older.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Oh my god, that rush.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
To be older. I felt like I wanted to be
older always. I always wanted to be older in my twenties.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Oh yeah, and I felt like that since I was
a little girl, like, oh, I couldn't wait to be
you know, in high school or to get dressed up.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I couldn't wait to be twenty one, you know, to
go out.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And it's like, uh yeah. Now in my thirties, I'm like, whoa,
let's slow it down. Wait, wait, hold on.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Things only get better.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, but it only gets better. But now you know
something that I've learned it is like, just embrace the
present moment, embrace the current year, and have no regrets.
You know, if you know you did feel like that
in your twenties, then you know it's okay you learn
from it. But something I'll tell my younger self is like, girl,
(17:31):
there's no rush and joy enjoy every moment. There's no
stop trying to be.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Grown and stop worrying so much. Like just you're gonna
figure it out.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You're Yeah, you're gonna figure it out. You're smart, you're capable,
you got this.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, looking back at some things, I'm like, why did
I worry so much about like that one thing, like
instead of like enjoying whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Right exactly exactly, So that that's definitely, yeah, that that's
something I wish I knew. How about you any other
that you wish you knew in your twenties.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I wish I would have been more financially responsible. Okay, Okay,
I did some traveling, which I'm I do not regret traveling.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I love traveling, but I did spend some credit card.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Bills.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
So I just wish I would have been a little
bit more responsible, save more money.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But you're living, you learn, you live in you learn,
and that's and that's important. You know, It's like sure,
but you got to enjoy it. You learn, and you know,
that's just another topic, you know, financial literacy when it
comes to being Latino and how that's perceived as So
definitely that that's a great point. Now let's go into
(18:47):
reading a couple more questions. These are very I mean answers,
these are very interesting. So another one says, don't waste
your time where you are not wanted anything you have
to chase. It isn't for you. But here is the
good news. What is what is for you is waiting.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I love that that. That is so true motivating.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That is like, don't waste your time where you're not wanted. No, honey,
If like, rejection is redirection, So just redirect to the
places where you are wanted and don't chase anything, or like,
don't chase anyone.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I mean no, don't chase anyone.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah. So and I like how she said. But the
good news is what is for you is waiting. Oh yeah,
I love that positivity. Slay queen.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Sleigh.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Let's read one more, one more.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Answer and more who this is a word you one?
All right?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Follow along forties here. Know that it's never too late
to reinvent yourself. Of all the things you can do
for yourselves, start with strengthening your mind. Give yourself grace
and forgiveness. Give gratitude every day, especially on those days
when you question your existen Never let doubt and fear
(20:02):
take a permanent residence in your mind. Know that it's
only final for you after death, So keep making moves
until you can't.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Wow. I love that. Yeah, I love that. And she
said so many good things like give yourself, grace forgiveness
super important, to forgive yourself, you know, for anything that
you might need forgiveness for. Forgive yourself first, Have grace
for yourself. Give gratitude every day, which we talked about
(20:31):
in another episodes, like gratitude is so important. And on
those days when you question your existence, never let doubt
and fear take up permanent residence in your mind.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That is, that just takes up so much of your
energy that you can be putting out on something that's
gonna benefit you.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, and then you become your own worst enemy.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Your own you're your worst self critic.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yes, yes, And it's like, don't let be fearless. Live
your life happily, do positive things, things that are good
for your spirit, your mind, and your soul. Forgive yourself,
have grace for yourself, and you know, be grateful for
everything positive that you do have or everything positive that
(21:15):
comes into your life.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Absolutely, absolutely, but definitely want to thank everyone who participated
in this post. If you're listening and you haven't seen
this post, go and comment. Go look at all the
questions We're definitely going to be doing more of this,
so stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
We have so many more amazing episodes for you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, thank you so much us for listening to us
and we love you guys. Thank you for building this
amazing community with us.
Oh Lassos Latina approofed and we're your hosts Stanny, Steffi
and Lily B.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And this podcast is dedicated to our bilingual Latinas who
are resilientanas and.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
For the Latinas that resonate with the phrase zyvia ky
idyah yah.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Join us on this journey every week where we engage
in relatable conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Share uplifting stories and empowering insights from everything that.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Is Latina Approves. Hey, welcome to episode four.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, and on this episode, man, there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Here and I'm so excited for this one.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And this episode is about mheads under thirty who ask
questions and muheadas over thirty answered. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So to give you a little background, one thing that
we love to do on our Latina approved social media
on Instagram, we love to connect with our community and
ask them questions and get to learn about them. So
we did this post where we encourage our followers under
thirty to ask questions and are mohadas over thirty to
(01:13):
answer the questions. And boy, we got a lot of comments,
so many comments.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I'm talking about like over a thousand, Like just so
much interaction, right, so much interaction and it was beautiful
to see the Moheadas community just come together supporting one another.
So we want to talk about that. We want to
talk about community. If you haven't listened to our previous
episode podcast episode about how to build a community and
(01:42):
Mohada supporting Moheadas, I encourage you to please go check
it out. We provide different tips on there on how
to support other women and start building that community or
take and be part of that community. So with that,
we wanted to talk about some of the questions that
Muha is under thirty ass and what the responses were
and what we think about that.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yes, right, let's get into it, because it was a
beautiful to see girls really being vulnerable and asking these questions.
And honestly, the responses I saw were pretty much uplifting
and encouraging. So yeah, let's start with the first question.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, let's get into it. So we'll all maintain the
names anonymous. The response is anonymous, but if you would
like to take a look, the post is live on
our Instagram page and you'll see you'll see a picture there.
You'll see my picture, and then you'll see the question
and you'll see all the the amazing responses. So question
(02:39):
number one, here we go. So it's going to be
a read, so focusing and listen. Okay, So here we go.
My baby daddy and I had our baby at eighteen
and he was nineteen. I am now. I am now
twenty and he's twenty two. I know he's going to
come back because we've been on and off for the
(03:01):
past two point five years. I finally shut him off
this last time, but he tried. And I have moments
where I miss our family and him, but so much
has been done that I know it would be disrespectful
to myself and my daughter if I were to take
him back. Should I keep letting how young we were
(03:25):
and are be an excuse and maybe try again later.
I'm doing better without him, but I know there's still
so much love there. I don't know. Do you guys
really change? Do guys really change and mature as they're older?
That was a lot to impact there, right to impact there? Yeah, yeah,
(03:47):
and there's a lot. And I mean maybe we start
off with some of the responses that some of the
community community members of letting that prove advice.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yes, So one answer that we received, this person said nope,
as a forty seven year old. I can tell you
it won't work now or in the future. You're holding
yourself back from meeting your true love. Don't let the
idea of what could be keep you from the reality
(04:18):
of things.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Wow, that's deep. You know, that's super deep.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's super deep, because sometimes we do hold on to,
like the special moments that you share with someone, right.
So it's like it's hard to let go of those moments, right,
And there's so many moments that you live with someone
that other people don't see, right.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah. And you know, I do believe in giving people
second chances. Yeah. I also believe that people can change. However,
I also think that there's people that cannot change, and
there's people that do not deserve, you know, that do
(05:01):
not deserve a second chance. I know that this this comment,
this question that came in. She said that they've been
through a lot and that they're young, but that she's
doing something that's important here is that she mentions that she's.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Now doing better without him.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So why take that step back? And I know that
she mentions this because she misses her family and the daughter.
Why risk the progress?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Why ri is the progress? If you're already doing better?
Why take a step back?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
You know?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Badras? But what is that saying that goes or something
like that where it's like why look back to that?
And the why for her is because of her family,
which is totally And I think this can take different avenues, right,
It can take and try and again. But it sounds
(05:54):
like she already tried again, so what's new and retrying?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And I can speak from you know, my personal relationships
experience in a situation where do people change. I was
in an eight year relationship in the past and no,
I would say did you change? No? And time goes by,
(06:21):
you know, time goes by. So I think it can
be you know, you can see this from different perspectives
and giving the person the benefit of a doubt, but
how many how many tries are you going to get
to before you have to like move on? You know.
So it's definitely something to think about. And there's another
(06:42):
answer like, well, we'll share another answer from another community
member from Latina proof that she says and it's super important.
Like what she said, it just kind of makes you
think things in a different perspective. She goes, question, would
you want your daughter dating that type of man? Straight up,
(07:03):
straight up? Do you want your daughter dating that type
of man? Both of you are so young and have
so much discovering to do. Locus, invest in yourself, become
the woman you want for your daughter to see, it's
normal to mourn your relationship and family.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
That that that is That's another deep response, you know.
I think just the thought of like, do you want
your daughter dating that type of man? I think you
have your immediate answer there, right, Yeah, Like I think
that says a lot, whether good or bad. Like that
says a lot. And I'm also the believer, like it's
so true what's meant for you will be for you
(07:46):
and find its way and definitely a plus a plus
sign to like investing yourself and becoming the woman that
you want to be, especially for your daughter. Right And
I think through relationships, it's important to know that you
do more. In relationships, you do go through a stage
of grief that you possibly will never see this person again.
(08:09):
So but in this case he is the father of her.
But it is a process of like healing as well. Yes,
absolutely so.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Sending positive vibes and love.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
To to our.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Our community member, our friend or amiga you know that
that took a lot of courage to say, you know what,
let me speak up and let me comment my situation,
and just there's hundreds of responses to just this one
one question, So feel free to go show some support,
show some love, words of encouragement, they're always beautiful and
(08:49):
much needed.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yes, yes, So moving on to our next question. Our
next question from our anonymous follower is when is the
best time to be intimate with anyone?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
If there is such a thing as too as too early?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Is there a game to play in terms of waiting
to be intimate with someone?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Oh that is a good that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
That's a super good question. Oh my mind, this one
is a spicy one. Seriously, in terms of waiting to
be when is when is the best time to be
intimate with anyone? Okay, let's break the ice. One of
the answers that one of our community Latina FRO community
(09:37):
members said, she goes, do you booth? Well, that's one
way to look at it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Right, No, that's definitely one way to look at it.
And I mean, I think it's a fair question. I
think it's a question that we kind of all have
had at some point. So another response that is interesting.
This person writes, Okay, no game, do what feels right
to you when it feels right. I worked hard to
(10:06):
be the good girl in my early years, and I
regret it. I wish I would have allowed myself the
grace of doing what felt right for me instead of
working working about what someone else was good going to think.
I think she met worrying, worrying about what someone else
was going to think. The man I thought I was
going to end up with shamed me when we broke up.
(10:28):
He said I gave it up too quick, and in
quotes in parentheses, she puts, not true, but he knew
it would hurt. I slept with my now husband on
our first day birthday.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It just felt right.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
We clicked, and nineteen years later, we still click.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
There is no one size fits all solution. Do what
is right for you.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
There you go, And you know what. I love that
she said, there is no one size fits all solution. Yeah, No,
that's absolutely true, and I think that is the ultimate truth.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Like it.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
A woman's body is a woman's body, and she should
do what she wants with her body, what she, however
she wants, you know, and I think, as long as
it feels right, right, and it's natural, and it's your choice, right,
you're not feeling pressured like it's what you want to do. Yeah,
as long as it's I feel like coming from a
(11:28):
good space, from a good place, and you feel that
completely comfortable. Most importantly and also most importantly safe, you know,
practicing safe intimacy. I would say it's super important to
take into account and take into accounting your emotions and
what makes you happy, not what makes the other person happy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Right, So there isn't really like a right time. It's
your time is the right time.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, exactly, you said it. You say at it mess,
your time is the right time, and that is inclusive
of you feeling comfortable, you feeling happy, and you feel
feeling okay and one hundred percent sure with your choice
and and your you know what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, And I think that the most of the responses
that we got on this question did say that, So
I think I think that was great.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, that that is great. I mean should we should
we sum this up with another answer that that we got. Yeah,
let's do it, okay, So they the next answer that
we got to this question was I think it's up
to you and what you are comfortable with. I would
say sometimes it's worth the wait because you want your
relationship to be based on more than intimacy. There are
(12:45):
other ways to be intimate, to enjoy each other. I
love that. Yeah, that is so true. There's other ways
to be intimate with a person beyond just physically, and
that is emotional intimate and spiritually intimate, which are also
important points. So I love that she said that. And
(13:09):
you know, what do you think about it's worth the wait?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I definitely think it's worth the wait personally, just because
I've always been like more shy and like willing to wait.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
That's just like my personal preference. But I definitely think
things like the things that are worth it are worth
like waiting for.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah, it's definitely worth waiting for, my agree. And also
this keeps This is more. This is more of like
from Steve Harvey, if you know, you know where he says,
and I don't know, maybe this is another topic to
be discussed. This is not my own personal like I
guess advice, but it just came to mind where Steve
(13:52):
Steve Harvey says that he has like a nighty day, Yes,
Ny day rule, so that you can get to know
the pres I do think it's important to get to
know a person. You know the person from I guess
personal preference. You need to get to know the person,
and it's up to you. It's ultimately, we're all different
(14:13):
and we all approach intimacy in a different way.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
So, right, some people are more casual about intimacy versus
some people want to only be intimate with people that
they're in a relationship with.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Both are you know.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Very respectable.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Whatever you want is, you know what you want. But
you know, for those of.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Us who you know, like to be intimate with people
that were in a relationship with than that ninety day.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
So these are great, great topics. Now let's dive into
one more final question. And by the way, there's so
many questions on that thread which are worth the read,
but we'll do one more.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yes, so let's dive into it, all right, what is
the most important thing you wish you knew in your twenties.
I'm scared to wake up one day and realize I
had wasted mind.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Oh wow, Yeah, that's a really good question. And you
know what, shout out to these moveheads that are posting
up their questions, like seriously shout out to them because
it takes a lot. And this is a great question.
What's the most important thing you wish you knew in
your twenties. Let's start off with one of one of
the answers, right, So one of.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
The answers says that there is a lesson in every stage,
and when you look back, you will love and understand
your past self better. You'll be easier on your past
self than you currently are with your present self. Look
at yourself with kind eyes and know you're growing with
the little heart.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And I love that, you know. I think every stage
in your life, when you look back, it's it's a learning,
you know, and I think you need to learn to
embrace because that has shaped who you now are, whichever
age you're currently at. So it's like looking at, you know,
the lessons that you have learned in every stage. Like
(16:14):
they like this comment and saying, Okay, what did I learn?
What What did I really enjoy through, you know, from
that stage in my life? And what didn't I enjoy
in that stage in my life? So it's also living
in the present moment.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think, yeah, and let me ask you what is
something you wish you knew in your twenties that maybe
you know now you.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Know something is something that I wish I knew in
my twenties, is like, don't rush to be older.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Oh my god, that rush.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
To be older. I felt like I wanted to be
older always. I always wanted to be older in my twenties.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Oh yeah, and I felt like that since I was
a little girl, like, oh, I couldn't wait to be
you know, in high school or to get dressed up.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I couldn't wait to be twenty one, you know, to
go out.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And it's like, uh yeah. Now in my thirties, I'm like, whoa,
let's slow it down. Wait, wait, hold on.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Things only get better.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, but it only gets better. But now you know
something that I've learned it is like, just embrace the
present moment, embrace the current year, and have no regrets.
You know, if you know you did feel like that
in your twenties, then you know it's okay you learn
from it. But something I'll tell my younger self is like, girl,
(17:31):
there's no rush and joy enjoy every moment. There's no
stop trying to be.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Grown and stop worrying so much. Like just you're gonna
figure it out.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You're Yeah, you're gonna figure it out. You're smart, you're capable,
you got this.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, looking back at some things, I'm like, why did
I worry so much about like that one thing, like
instead of like enjoying whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Right exactly exactly, So that that's definitely, yeah, that that's
something I wish I knew. How about you any other
that you wish you knew in your twenties.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I wish I would have been more financially responsible. Okay, Okay,
I did some traveling, which I'm I do not regret traveling.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I love traveling, but I did spend some credit card.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Bills.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
So I just wish I would have been a little
bit more responsible, save more money.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But you're living, you learn, you live in you learn,
and that's and that's important. You know, It's like sure,
but you got to enjoy it. You learn, and you know,
that's just another topic, you know, financial literacy when it
comes to being Latino and how that's perceived as So
definitely that that's a great point. Now let's go into
(18:47):
reading a couple more questions. These are very I mean answers,
these are very interesting. So another one says, don't waste
your time where you are not wanted anything you have
to chase. It isn't for you. But here is the
good news. What is what is for you is waiting.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I love that that. That is so true motivating.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That is like, don't waste your time where you're not wanted. No, honey,
If like, rejection is redirection, So just redirect to the
places where you are wanted and don't chase anything, or like,
don't chase anyone.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I mean no, don't chase anyone.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah. So and I like how she said. But the
good news is what is for you is waiting. Oh yeah,
I love that positivity. Slay queen.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Sleigh.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Let's read one more, one more.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Answer and more who this is a word you one?
All right?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Follow along forties here. Know that it's never too late
to reinvent yourself. Of all the things you can do
for yourselves, start with strengthening your mind. Give yourself grace
and forgiveness. Give gratitude every day, especially on those days
when you question your existen Never let doubt and fear
(20:02):
take a permanent residence in your mind. Know that it's
only final for you after death, So keep making moves
until you can't.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Wow. I love that. Yeah, I love that. And she
said so many good things like give yourself, grace forgiveness
super important, to forgive yourself, you know, for anything that
you might need forgiveness for. Forgive yourself first, Have grace
for yourself. Give gratitude every day, which we talked about
(20:31):
in another episodes, like gratitude is so important. And on
those days when you question your existence, never let doubt
and fear take up permanent residence in your mind.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That is, that just takes up so much of your
energy that you can be putting out on something that's
gonna benefit you.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, and then you become your own worst enemy.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Your own you're your worst self critic.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yes, yes, And it's like, don't let be fearless. Live
your life happily, do positive things, things that are good
for your spirit, your mind, and your soul. Forgive yourself,
have grace for yourself, and you know, be grateful for
everything positive that you do have or everything positive that
(21:15):
comes into your life.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Absolutely, absolutely, but definitely want to thank everyone who participated
in this post. If you're listening and you haven't seen
this post, go and comment. Go look at all the
questions We're definitely going to be doing more of this,
so stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
We have so many more amazing episodes for you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, thank you so much us for listening to us
and we love you guys. Thank you for building this
amazing community with us.
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