February 10, 2024 • 49 mins
Ever stumbled during a candid confession about your weight? That's exactly how we begin this heart-to-heart on the struggles and triumphs of personal body image journeys. Join us as we peel back the curtain on the societal and familial pressures that sculpt our self-perception from a tender age. Embark on a candid exploration through our past experiences, where hurtful remarks from loved ones and society's infatuation with a singular body type have left lasting impressions. Together, we challenge the detrimental belief that beauty comes in a one-size-fits-all package, advocating for a celebration of the unique shapes we embody and the convoluted path toward self-appreciation.
Grappling with ever-evolving beauty standards is like chasing a mirage, always just out of reach. We share our personal battles with weight loss ambitions amidst a culture enthralled by celebrity transformations and the unspoken realities of pursuing such drastic changes without a squad of professionals at our disposal. The conversation meanders through the controversial terrains of nudist beaches, piercing the veil of whether it's a statement of body positivity or an act of exhibitionism. We confide in our own aspirations, the arduous journey to fulfilling them, and the profound insecurities that drive these desires, offering a space where our vulnerabilities are not only voiced but also embraced.
Concluding our session, we unsparingly confront the stigmas and stereotypes tied to body weight and health. Through tales of personal endeavors in fitness activities like hiking and CrossFit, we shatter the myth that one's size is indicative of their health or vitality. We open up about the intricate factors that influence weight, from genetics to mental health, and stress the injustice of judging by appearances alone. Our talk culminates with a reflection on how these insecurities ripple through our romantic lives and the crucial practice of nurturing and honoring our bodies from a place of love. As we draw the curtain on this episode, we leave you with an invitation to continue these profound discussions with us, your Latina State of Mind familia.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created
by Latinas for all audiences,where we can share our
experiences about love, life andeverything in between.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back.
Hello, this is Latina's Stateof Mind and once again bringing
(00:38):
your joy.
Sorry, I was going to say thisis Latina's Daily Shits.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're not there yet.
Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We'll get there, we'll get there.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I'll rile up my horses.
What Anyway, so much fun Secondseason.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I hope everyone's excited for today's topic.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It's a serious one, never mind, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Tell us about it.
I'm excited about it.
Okay, yeah, we'll make it fun.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Anyways, we're going to be talking about weight loss.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's a difficult topic.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
But we'll do our best to cover it the best way we can
, something that we hear about alot, especially at the
beginning of the year, so very,you know, timely.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, I haven't.
Well, I haven't heard it, but Imean it's always a constant
reminder on social media becausethat's where we usually are now
Of like all of these fad dietsand equipment and what's it
called them, kind of liketraining exercises and all of
these things.
There's always so much pressureto lose weight.
(01:46):
What you guys have experiencedwith this.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
I feel like I'm excited aboutthis topic because it's
something that I have dealt withmy entire life, technically,
like since becoming a teenager,and like being aware of my body,
like weight loss has alwaysbeen a thing for me, like it's
(02:11):
somebody has always.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I don't know if I feel like it's more of like
someone made you aware of yourbody Right.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Right, like somebody made me aware of my body and
made a comment.
And how it wasn't the body thatI should, that everybody should
wear.
And then that made me thinkwell, I need to lose weight and
I've gone through so many linksto lose weight and to to fit
into that mold that doesn't evenbelong to me, like I didn't
(02:39):
even know what a perfect bodywas.
And now I understand that theperfect body is the body I have
and I'm in Right.
It's just been such a like forme such a heavy topic and such a
rough conversation, and it'sjust been a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do you remember what one of the first things that you
heard was when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think it comes from your parents.
Definitely, it always comesfrom your parents and you know,
and and the people around you,always saying how fat they are
and how they so, and so is gainweight.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Or even I think, like even making comments, to like
oh, you would look prettier ifyou were scared.
Oh, like saying in such a niceway but hurting you so much yeah
.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Like I you know, in our culture, like so bad about
talking about other people'sbodies or the way they talk
about, like if one of theirfriends would gain weight or one
of their friends.
I don't know anything.
I remember hearing it's that inGorda, like she's really fat or
he's really fat, or.
Oh my gosh, I can't believethey're like so fat.
(03:47):
You know, and I remember beinglike All right, so the goal is
to not be fat, got it?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I think for me I first started hearing it.
It wasn't directly from myparents, but it was comments
that other family members madeto them about me, and so they
yeah.
And so they started telling meand like they still were very
cautious about it.
But I had family members tellthem like, oh, like.
(04:12):
Exact same comment.
Like, oh, she would look betterif she was skinnier.
If she would, she would lookbetter in this outfit If there
was this and that.
Why does that anger me?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
so much.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's terrible.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It's hurtful, it's very hurtful, and I can.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Maybe my parents hurt my parents as well, and so they
had to do it.
Not they don't have to do it,but they were felt pressured to
mention it as well.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I remember one time a family member said something
about that I would look betterand my kids sing it a dress if I
would lose weight.
Yeah, and my mom?
This time my mom got mad atthese individuals and she was
like no, you stop that.
Yeah, I can't.
I don't know exactly.
She never told me the fulldetails of the conversation
(04:56):
because I mean, she was going tospare me of them.
Um, but she was like this is,first of all, I wasn't heavy.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
No no.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was.
I was skinny.
No, Was I heavy?
I wasn't, I wasn't.
But these individuals had thisperspective of me and like how I
would supposedly look better inmy kids sing and address
because I would have lost weight, if I would have lost weight at
15 years old.
I was, it was 14.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Ridiculous, it was 14 .
Ridiculous For my kids sing andI yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And so I don't think my body was fully formed at that
age.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, You're not even developed.
No, like fully developed.
Yeah right.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I feel like that's the time where most people hear
something about their body andhow they look.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Is that like 15,?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
14, when you're, when you're a teen, and your
hormones are not where they needto be and you still have a
little bit of baby fat or not,or you know, like exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Cause like at least puberty, for every girl is so
different, so different.
And it's honestly changing as awhole itself through each
generation.
So, even then, old ideas arenot fitting with current ideas,
cause it's you know, ourenvironment is changing us and I
mean, and all of these oldideas are still being pushed on
(06:16):
us when it's not the realityanymore, right, yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And then you become so.
I feel like for me I was sohard on myself, like I literally
was like a size nine or 10 andthat's like average, it's
totally average.
But I felt like the biggestwalk in cow on the planet, like
I remember just being like don'tlook at me, I would wear baggy
(06:40):
clothes and I would always likehide my belly Didn't have a
belly to hide Like I didn'treally like I was just built a
little different, like my bonesare not heavier, but like I'm
built a little different, likeI'm not meant to be a hundred
pounds, like that's not how Iwas built.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
A lot of it is genetics too Right.
Like your body is being like,the shape of your body is being
passed down from generations.
Of course you can lose weight,bring it up and down or whatever
, but the shape of it is goingto stay like whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Right.
You're not going to be able tochange that, especially at 14,
15, like that's crazy, that'snot even a thing.
Yeah, it shouldn't be a thing.
It shouldn't be a thing.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, For me.
I was very skinny and then Iwent to college and I started
gaining weight and I haven'tstopped since then, but even
when I wasn't really.
I don't know.
I felt like I was overweight,but now, looking back, I'm like
dude, now you're wearing likethat's so sad that you thought.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
So, yeah, a lot of those ideas were pushed onto us
and even if you weren't, we feltlike it and whether through it
was well, not social media, butlike back in the day was like
maybe TV, other type of media oryour family.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, a lot of it for me has been family comments and
stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I remember gosh, I still remember it's so sad.
I remember going into thefridge and bringing out like a
notebook with me and be likeokay, I'm not going to eat these
foods anymore.
I know I've, I still got like13 or 14.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
That's so sad.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
I still remember it to this day, sitting down
opening the fridge and I'm like,okay, I'm not going to eat
cheese, I'm not going to eatthis, I'm not going to eat that,
I'm not going to eat that, andI felt like I was going to make
a change or I was going to makea difference, but I mean, it
took me nowhere except for likean eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Exactly.
And then it's the saddest partLike you don't have to be super
skinny to have an eatingdisorder.
You can be at a healthy welland a different weight Right and
have an eating disorder.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I think that no, no, I was just going to say that's
the key word, right, healthyCause healthy can look different
for everybody, and everybody'sgoing to react different to
everything, so healthy might bea different way for someone
who's your same height, soyou're going to obviously look
different.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I think it's hard because, like, how unrealistic
are weight loss expectations?
You know like it's sounrealistic.
So it's not based onindividuals and it's based on
looks.
Like it's not like the three ofus sitting here.
Our body shapes are sodifferent.
We're different heights, wehave different body shapes.
If we lose 20 pounds it's goingto show different in all of us.
(09:35):
Like it's going to showdifferent in all of us and that
doesn't mean anything Like.
It just means we're different.
But society is expecting us toall look this one way Like
you're skinny, with big boobsand big butt.
Yeah, you're going to have aflat belly and that's what looks
good and it's like.
For how many years have youbeen hearing that Like?
For how many years have youbeen?
(09:56):
Like you just need to have aflat stomach?
Like in my era back in the1990s to.
Like early 2000s beautystandards were on a rex stick.
Like if we could see yourcollar bone and your rib like
bones up here in your collararea.
That's beauty.
Like that's considered beautyand that was my goal.
(10:17):
Like for me to be beautiful, Ineeded to be bony and also no
butt and no butt.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, that was such a long time, my impossible thing.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Nobody could never do that.
The perfect body that I was.
I guess Push on was like theNRX sick and thin because I grew
up in the 2000s and To me Iremember Dang it, I need to look
like Paris Hilton right becausewhen she was younger, when she
was super young, she was alittle stick and she was a
little Square body and that'sher body shape like that, that's
(10:53):
she's tall and she's thin andthat's how she spilt.
And then me, oh my gosh.
Whenever I got a butt, I was sosad when I got a butt.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I was so sad when I didn't get.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Different stories, but I felt like so huge because
I had a big old butt and I waslike what the fuck?
Where did this come from?
Why is this here?
Why is this here?
Why is this so big?
Why doesn't it look like hers?
Why doesn't it look like hers?
Why doesn't look like ParisHilton's?
Yeah, and I still, I stillremember to this stage being
(11:29):
like more aware that I wasdifferent, that I was blushiest
and that I didn't fit the norm.
At that time I almost wasrelieved a little bit.
Whatever Cremacordation and JLocame more popular.
Yeah, okay, I look a little bitmore like that, but still,
there's a lot of unrealisticexpectations with those bodies.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
It's now, it's an extreme right.
So now it's like Okay that comeon.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
That's too much yeah but I hope that someday we make
the body itself like a Norm andjust having a body yeah.
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Have you guys seen that meme for like a beach body.
Oh, I don't get ready for abeach body.
You just have a body.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Just have a body.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Or if you're in a nudist beach you know, you would
know about that.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
You wanna talk about that?
What?
I've never would you do it?
Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
No no.
I think I would do it,especially if I had been
drinking.
I would be less, more inclined,yeah less inhibited.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I feel like a lot of those individuals are under some
sort of influence.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yeah, I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I think maybe, maybe, but I think they are
exhibitionists.
I think some people likeshowing and Not like a very body
positive wave, a more like aFetish way like a sexual thing
like a sexual thing.
I think that's more like it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I might.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I may be wrong, I may be completely wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
But if you've ever been to one, let us know what
the vibe was if it's sexual oror it was just chill.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I mean there has to be some level of respect.
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Would you stare?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I think I would.
I'd see a nice pee pee and it'dbe like whoa nice pee pee.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
You would actually come up, you would say that I
would not actually say that youwould look at it and smile.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
All right, let's bring it back way, lost anyway.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think it's because we see, like celebrities right,
and they go through atransformation, and then you're
like, okay, like I can do it.
The thing that we don't see isthat they have the money to pay
for a trainer.
To pay for a chef to pay forall of these things, which makes
it happen faster for them andit's more accessible, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
But it's so hard.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
It's so hard to lose weight.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Have you guys said unrealistic goals for yourself?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yes, all the time.
Do you want to share Well withweight?
Last year was I was actually.
I gained more weight and then Ilost some during the middle of
the year, but I've always hadlike I'm gonna lose 70 pounds in
three months.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I lost 150 pounds by separating from my partner.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah so yeah, I've done that for sure.
Maybe not 70, but yeah,something like crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That is unhealthy to lose Super unhealthy yeah what
about you?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
No same, I think for a really long time.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
First of all, I wasn't big, wasn't heavy, but I
was don't say was because you'restill not big and you're still
not heavy.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Sorry, that's the social pressured talking.
Sorry, but for a long time,whenever I was smaller, when I
was younger, I also did, andmaybe not many years ago I was
like, okay, same, same idea 50pounds in six months?
Mm-hmm, I mean that may bedoable, that I also have a
(15:40):
full-time job, mm-hmm, I havehobbies.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I do not have a personal chef like sometimes I,
sometimes I don't eat yeah, Iwould drink a lot so I could
never achieve my goal.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, no, for real, I only started this like
alcohol-free lifestyle, a couplelike actually a year ago, but
for a long time I was drinkingheavily the whole weekend and so
there was a lot of things thatI pressured myself into losing
weight.
But then here I am having likea normal life that's not really
(16:13):
gonna allow me to do this.
Mm-hmm or allow me to do this inthe time frame that I wanted to
do this?
Mm-hmm, I wanted to do it rightaway and I'm like no, I don't
have a personal trainer, I don'thave a chef, exactly like.
I said so.
It was.
It became.
It's very unrealistic as aaverage person to Set these
really difficult goals.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I think you can Set goals and lose weight if that's
what you want to do.
But I think you have to look atthe root of where your
insecurities coming from.
I think most of the time we'rethinking we're not, we're not
worth something right the loveof someone or the respect of
something or Whatever it isbecause your body's not the
standard exactly.
So I think that's the thingthat we have to heal first, and
(16:56):
then you know, if you want tolose weight, you want to go to
the gym, you want to becomestronger or whatever it is, then
you can look to waste to dothat, for ways to do that.
But I think if we don't look atwhat is causing us that Desire,
then it's just really difficultbecause then you go back.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, you're not gonna stay in the cycle, exactly
yeah yeah.
For me.
I feel like I had so manyunrealistic Explotations to, but
I think one of the many oneswas if I work out really hard,
like every single day, and Noteat like I'm not eating, oh my
(17:34):
god.
Like then I have to lose weight.
Like, then I have to loseweight.
Well, I have something calledPCOS that doesn't allow me to
lose weight as much as like theaverage person Some kind of
hormones, something and I wouldlove to talk more about this,
because there's a lot of womenout there that fit but I
(17:54):
Remember I was doing CrossFit,oh wow.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Isn't that a little intense?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It's very interesting , crazy, intense.
I was doing hundreds of burpeesa week and I was running and
lifting weights and Literallyeating chicken breasts and I
lost 15 pounds, damn.
And I did this for two monthsand I remember being like, how
is this even possible?
Like I'm a failure, like youknow.
(18:20):
And then you just I rememberbeing so hard on myself because
how could I work so hard andliterally not lose anything?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
But also like Then I was gaining muscle.
No, yeah, and that's the thing.
15 pounds is a lot of weight tolose.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's a lot of weight to lose, plus muscle weights
more than fat.
So I was losing the fat andgaining muscle.
You didn't have the perspective.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
But I didn't Like, I was just so unrealistic about
the number on the scale.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah that I was like this is so crazy, this is
ridiculous, and I droppedCrossFit.
Well, I also hurt my backpretty badly during a deadlift
and I stopped doing CrossFit.
And then I just started justeating badly and having bad
habits because I was angry atmyself.
Then I was punishing myself.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
And I mean the injury came itself from pushing too
hard, too hard.
So like salio contra por lossentes.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, it's like punishment, like I've learned
through my weight loss journeythat all I've done for myself is
try to punish myself for beingoverweight.
And that's such a sad place tolive.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It's really, it's extremely sad, but I don't think
you're the only one who can saythat.
I think that's the wholeoverall, most of the sentiment
individuals that want to loseweight.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I wonder how it is for men, because we were talking
about like earlier etc.
In our culture, especiallyright, people make made fun of
if they're heavier which happensto men all the time especially
boys, right Calling themgorditos and stuff like that.
I wonder how much that affectstheir mental health and their
everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I think it's terrible because it's more, it's more
normalized.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah, it's like it's funny.
It's funny.
You're just being funny.
Laugh at it.
It's silly.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, that's terrible .
I dang.
I only wish we could know howthat feels, but it can't feel
great.
No and for the longest time andstill to this day, you can't
really talk about it.
They couldn't share theirfeelings.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You're a man, figure it out.
You're a boy, You're notsupposed to feel blah, blah blah
Right yeah.
So a lot of times I don't thinkthey could complain.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
My mom tells a story.
Like my dad, he he had to get.
He gained a lot of weight.
Well, when he moved up here,when he lived in Mexico, like he
was a musician and he didsports and play soccer and stuff
and once he moved here, likethere was none of that, like he
just had to figure out how toget money and how to like
(20:53):
support us all up here.
So he started to gain a lot ofweight because he had driving
jobs and jobs where he had tosit for a lot of periods of time
and he gained a lot of weightand a lot of stress, and a lot
of stress and a lot of like justthings.
And she says that when they wentback to Mexico the first time
that his family made so much funof him, and that he cried.
(21:15):
He was just so hurt and insteadof like them being like, oh my
gosh, you're so glad to see you,it was like damn dude, you're
so fat and I can't believeyou're so fat.
And I remember being like whodid that to my dad?
You know, but it was so normalto them because, like, it's
funny, it's a joke.
You know, he is fat.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Take it as a joke, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And he's not supposed to be like offended because
it's funny and he's a guy and heshould just tough it out and
that's really sad.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, that's really sad.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So I cannot imagine like he never talked about how
that made him feel, of course,but I can't imagine how terrible
he must have felt, like goingback when he had him back in
like 15 years, and the onlything they could say was you're
fat.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Yeah, maybe we can try to see if we can find
someone to come talk about likeweight and body image with some
man in our culture to share thatexperience?
Because, yeah, I wonder, I wasjust wondering about that when
we were talking about it at thebeginning.
It's a different experience.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
It's rough on girls, it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It's rough on us, but we hear about it more.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Aha, now, now, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And so we hear about it more so we can, we have a
more of a perspective on that,but we don't really.
I don't know.
I don't really hear it from men.
Yeah, the only thing I don'tknow.
I feel like all of it.
At least, since we're Hispanic,we can say all of these
Hispanic families usually have atendency to call you out if
you're too heavy or so they'llcomment.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
They'll comment, they'll have something to say.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
They'll always have something to say.
But, man, I wish we can have amale perspective.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah, maybe in a future episode.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
What's the most annoying stigma that you guys
hear about, like overweight?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
people that they're not healthy that they can't do.
Whatever other people can do, Ifeel like for me is that
they're lazy Like that is thebiggest one.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, Because I remember there's.
I love hiking and I loveworking out, like I did CrossFit
for a really long time and Idid this other workout.
It's called orange theory.
That's so much fun and I loveit.
And you know, not a lot ofskinny people don't do it, Like
you know a lot of skinny peoplecan't do it Right and so like I
(23:28):
love doing things and moving mybody and so like for me to be
called lazy just because I gainweight or look a certain way.
Like it was always such a bother, like I'm always like, but I
can jog, but I can do this, butI can.
You know, I'm not lazy Like, Ido so much, like I have a
full-time job, I go to full-timeschool, I like I'm always
(23:50):
moving, like what do you meanlazy?
Like in what sense?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Yeah, there are so many other things that affect
that part of yourself, not onlylike we were talking about
genetics, right?
Obviously, if there's somethinglike PCOS or anything like that
, I know depression can be acause.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Anxiety.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Anxiety if you're taking some sort of medication
that might be making you gainweight too.
There are so many other thingsthat affect your weight.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
There are so many determinants that could be going
on with an individual and it'snot okay to be like oh it's
because you're lazy.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, yeah let's not say that.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And you're not going to be like, oh, it's because I'm
taking medication for this, sothat affects my weight Right,
because it's not anybody'sbusiness.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Why would you have to say that?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I feel like people think that they deserve that
explanation.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
And sometimes just because life happens like
there's nothing else but, thatright Like there's there doesn't
have to be any freakingexplanation for anyone.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Well, you know what I'm going to eat?
Like a cake, because I deserveit.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, right, there's a lot of things going on and I
don't know.
I feel like we need to work onour judging yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
When my dad passed away, I would get up, cry eat,
go back to bed, cry, eat, likeliterally that's all I could do,
Like I was trying to keepmyself alive.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah, you were in survival mode and I was in
survival mode.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And then when I looked at gain like 20 pounds
and I was like, oh shit, likenow I need to work on this.
But that wasn't even after thepain I was feeling like weight
was the last worry that I had.
Like I didn't care about losingor gaining weight at the time
because the only thing I caredabout was that my dad was gone.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yeah, and then did it ever happen to you guys when
you were thinking?
Because I remember, like I said, I was gaining weight since
college.
But then I was like, okay, I'mjust going to get to this point
and then I'll start working outso I can still eat a bunch of
Taco Bell or whatever, and thenI would get there and I'd be
like, oh, it's so hard, okay,I'm just going to get to this
point and then I'm going tostart working out.
(25:54):
Did you guys ever do that?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Just me?
I'm pretty sure it's not justyou.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, I did it, I just did it recently.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I was like, okay, I'm going to give myself.
I was going through, I was justworking a little bit more and
so I didn't pay attention tomoving my body a whole lot.
But I was like, okay, I'm justgoing to do this right now, and
then I'm going to make the bestof what I can with what I got
and then enjoy myself.
And starting the year Iactually started beforehand, but
(26:24):
still around that same time Iwas like and then I'm going to
start moving more.
And that's when I added my goal.
I'm like, okay, I'm going tostart being more mindful of what
I eat.
I'm going to start eating lesswas basically my goal as well.
I started eating less outsidemy bed.
I should have added that on noteating less, because I don't
think that I eat a whole lot,but I wanted to be, I don't know
(26:48):
, I just didn't want to go outand eat out a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And that's just how I'm moving more.
But yes, I totally did that, Idid that recently and I don't
know if it's healthy on healthy,but I already did that.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But we do it all the time.
Yeah, I would do it all thetime.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's either if, if I'll start on Monday or I'll
start and so on, the first I'llstart on, you know okay for now,
because this is the last dayI'm going to pizza.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Pizza is so good I know, did you guys ever?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
hear about pizza Is the pizza, the distractor.
I have a question.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
For me, dating was really difficult because I I was
so insecure about my body and Istill am insecure insecure
about my body.
Was it difficult?
And the reason I'm asking isbecause to me you both are so
confident, Like I have learnedabout confidence because of both
(27:46):
of you, and I love like one ofthe things I love with being
around you guys is like how much, like Diana, you love your body
and Nancy, like you alwaysdress to impress and I could
never do that Like I could.
I always dress to hide, Like,always dress to hide.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Like to be honest, though.
Yes, I don't love my body and Idon't dress to impress.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You fakers, you lie to me.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
That's how I deal with it.
Fake it till you, make it.
You know, maybe eventually Iwon't have that feeling anymore,
but at this time I do.
But I don't love my body.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, hold on hold on , so it was dating hard for you.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It has been very difficult Okay.
Cause I'm like.
I'm like oh, what if they don'tlike me?
What if it's that?
What if it's that, what if it'sthat?
No, no, no, no, no, Really,yeah.
Okay, let me rephrase thisthough I love myself, I love my
body because it gives me.
I love myself, I love my bodybecause it gives me.
I love myself, I love myself, Ilove myself, I love myself, I
love myself, I love myselfliteral life.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I can move.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
literally I can do everything.
So I love my body for that.
I don't love how exactly how itlooks, but I think that can be
worked on and so I'm trying tochange my mindset.
But like just to be completelyclear, I don't full on love it
all the time, Okay, all the time.
It's all.
The time is the key.
I like it.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah.
I know you're going to say that?
No, I was just going to say so.
I don't know if it everaffected my dating, but I know
in my last relationship when Istarted gaining more weight, it
was really hard to like even beintimate because I was so
insecure Like I didn't.
I didn't want to show anythingbecause I didn't.
I felt so bad about myself.
(29:30):
Yeah, but yeah, that'sdefinitely happened.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I feel like for me it has gosh.
It makes me want to cryhonestly to think about it,
because it has been such a big,constant thing in my life.
And even meeting my husband,like I remember being like, oh,
what if he doesn't like my, mystretch marks?
And like I have stretch marksin my belly and he, man, I don't
(29:53):
have a big button.
Oh, guys, like big butts and Ihave a double chin or oh, I have
this.
And it's things that I just sitthere knit and pick at.
That are probably not thatserious, but I see them so big.
And during pregnancy, like I waslike, well, I'm never going to
show, like because I'm heavierset, so like I'll never get that
(30:17):
experience of having like apretty belly that shows and like
it has.
It has been so hard to to lookat weight and to look at myself
within that weight and feel likeI'm worthy and I'm beautiful.
And I'm so lucky that I got apartner that loves me and finds
(30:37):
me attractive and and helps mebe confident and I'm finding
that through him and today I cansay, yeah, maybe this, this
body, was not, it's not perfect,but it's creating a life.
And I have a belly and it isfucking and it's growing and I'm
(31:00):
loving seeing the growth ofthis belly and, yeah, I am
growing with the belly, but atthe same time, you know like.
I'm, I'm, I'm growingemotionally, I'm growing in so
many ways and I'm learning tolove myself and and every day
when I'm like, oh man, this ishard, I think my body's doing
(31:24):
this, like my body is getting methrough this.
My body has gotten me to thispoint where, at 40 years old, I
can be pregnant.
And and why have I beenpunishing myself, like, why have
I been being so mean to myself,you know, and and it's all
those things we talk about, it'sall those things, all the
(31:45):
stigmas, all the judgments,until finally I, I come to the
realization that we should moveour bodies because we love our
bodies and not because we'repunishing our bodies.
And we should feed our bodiesgood nutrient, nutrient stuff
because we love our bodies, notbecause we're punishing our
bodies.
(32:05):
And that has really helped mechange the way I look at my, at
my weight loss or not weightloss, you know, like, at who I
am and how I look and lovemyself for that it's so funny
how we have those like internalbattles because, just like you
were saying, like you see, dianaand myself, the way I've always
(32:25):
seen you is just like fuckingbeautiful.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
All the fucking time, like no, it has not ever been a
question Like that's never been, like oh never.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Like you're fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Yeah you are, so it's interesting, right, how we have
all these ideas inside of usand not
Speaker 1 (32:45):
really what other?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
people are necessarily seeing.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Because you're fucking amazing, right.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Yeah, you sit there and you pick, you know, like yes
oh, I don't like this, I don'tlike that, I don't like that.
And and like you're right, likeI met Diana and I was like
smitten, like I was in love.
I was just like thank you, whois this wild child?
And she's so fucking beautifuland she's so confident and I met
(33:17):
you and I felt the same way andit's like for me in my eyes,
like when I talk about myfriends all of my friends are
like fucking gorgeous, like Ilike to me, my friends are like
the most beautiful people, notonly inside but outside, like I
don't have an ugly friend.
I don't You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I don't think we'd be friends if we were ugly inside
or out.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Inside for sure.
Inside for sure.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Inside especially.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Because that.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I think that makes it or breaks it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Because shitty person , shitty person, but you're
pretty Still.
Yeah, that's true, not sorry.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I remember what I was gonna say before?
No, because we were talkingabout the like expectations that
we can create.
Did it ever happen to you guysthat you set a goal because you
had, like something coming up?
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh my gosh, my wedding party.
A wedding or?
Speaker 3 (34:13):
something we do it all the time.
All the time Like torturingyourself to fit that whatever
you wanna wear.
Why?
Because how fun.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Right.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Oh my gosh, I used to buyclothes and, okay, I'm gonna
look way I'm gonna fit into it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
And I'm gonna fit into it I still have clothes
hanging in my closet that I'mgonna fit into.
Ooh Ooh.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I hate it.
And I look at him and I'm likefuck.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I threw a pair of pants away today, really, cause
I'm like I'm not fitting in themright now and if I ever did,
I'm just gonna buy new pants,like I'm not gonna wear these
pants.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I don't need to see them here just occupying space.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Remind me what, torturing me For what?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, basically torturing yourself.
Like, oh, I'm gonna fit intothis eventually.
So I've started to change mymindset about that as well,
Cause I'm like buy clothes thatfit you.
That feel nice that feel good,that feel nice, that are gonna
good quality clothes that aregonna last you.
I've started to, I've startedto take well, it's been a while
that I've started to take thatinitiative, I guess.
(35:15):
But yeah, it's like don't worryabout the size Cause, first of
all, there's no actual unit size.
That is, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Thank you for saying that, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah, so like a size large on this brand could be a
size small on this brand.
So there's-.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
And it messes so much with your head Oof.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Oof.
Whenever I was buying jeans andjust having that realization, I
was like, oh wait, I have tobuy a larger size in, like in
Levi's, but I'm over here a sizeover here on Express.
I'm like when is going?
Speaker 1 (35:50):
on.
Yeah, I'm getting weight fromone store to the other.
It's terrible.
Was it that churro that I waseating on my way here?
I could have not.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
It was like I see the coffee and then yes, but I've
started to buy clothes that feelgood on me, that fit me well,
and it's difficult it's not easyto not look at the size, but
it's doable.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I remember when I went to go get my wedding dress
like the sizes are off, likethey're huge.
Okay, they're very off Cause.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I love watching say yes to the dress.
That's the point.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, cause I don't know it is.
It's like I don't know what'son the HBO, no, but like we went
in there and the lady was likeyou're a size, Like it was just
like a 55.
What?
It was a huge number and I wasjust like that's an actual
number.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I don't know what's the size?
There's no, it's an actualnumber.
I don't know what's the size.
I don't know what's the size 55.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
No 55 is the number.
55 is the number of the dress.
Anyway.
But I remember being like what?
And then I was like, oh, I haveto, I have to lose weight, I
have to lose weight, oh my gosh.
And we got the dress, wealtered it and the lady was like
, oh, this looks perfect, like,don't gain weight and don't lose
weight because we've alreadygotten it perfect.
(37:16):
And I was like, no, I'm, I'mgoing to lose weight.
She's like no, but Like I saidno.
And I lost a little bit ofweight, but it was still doable.
And I remember on my weddingday I was like I'm a princess,
I'm so beautiful Look at mydress Gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
Thank you, gorgeous, you're dressed.
Yeah, you look so beautiful.
She's wearing it again.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, I'm going to wear it all the time Once I have
this baby every.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Friday night Go wear it right now.
No, I can't fit in it right now?
Speaker 1 (37:42):
No baby, baby, he's in the way.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
All right, you wear your wedding dress and all when
my kinsengera.
Do you have your kinsengeradress?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I don't think I have it anymore.
All right, let's get you adress.
Ok, ok, I have a dress.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
We'll just record in our dresses Like a poofy
princess dress.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
That's not my style it's going to be.
We should do pictures like that.
Like a photo session.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
My mom would love it honestly.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
We can go to Jaycee Penney and get those pictures.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
All right, that's a wonderful idea Pictures coming
up.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Pictures coming up Coming soon.
I see all pictures coming soon.
Yes, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Oh man, I think our next segment kind of goes into
what we're talking right now.
So do you want to tell themwhat that is?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I think it's Diana's Daily Shirt.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Woo, this one yes, it is actually my little ramp.
It's going to be related toweight loss.
Nice, first one.
First comment Skinny peoplesaying that they're fat.
It's so fucking annoying.
I don't know if you're doing itto fish for compliments, I
don't care.
Honestly, don't, especially infront of a fat person.
(39:03):
Yeah, especially in front of afat person Like you, saying you
feel so fat right now and you'relike 100 pounds.
No, no, don't do that, keep itto yourself.
Can I tell you a story aboutthat?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So I was in a choir class in community college and
there was this girl.
She was kind of annoying buteverybody tolerated her, and
every day she would walk in andbe like I'm so fat.
She was not fat, she wasbeautiful, not fat at all.
I'm just so fat, I'm just so fatand I was just like OK, so one
day one of the guys was like ifyou think you're so fat, like
(39:38):
why don't you work out?
And the guy I think the guy wasjust trying to help, like he
wasn't being a jerk, like heliterally was just trying to
like she's got a problem, here'sa solution.
And she was upset, like she waslike I can't believe you called
me fat what I'm?
(39:58):
At least not fat like theMexican women.
You know, because they eat lardand I was like oh girl, you
went the wrong way, like thatwas not OK.
And then we had these other twogirls that were pretty gangster
and they got up and they werelike, what do you say?
And then she just like panickedand just left.
But then I was like girl, wait,you're the one calling yourself
(40:20):
.
Yeah, you started thisconversation.
He was just trying to behelpful, yeah, and she cried
about it and made a whole dramaabout it and the other two girls
were ready to beat her up.
It's just like shut up to theother girls.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I don't know what to tell you, and why did she have
to make the Mexican comment?
I don't know, that wasn'tnecessary.
Yeah, she was just so out ofline, exactly Because the guy
that told her that was Mexican.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
So maybe she was trying to offend him.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I don't know, that's super fucking weird though.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
Yeah, but also Also I bet there are some people who
suffer from body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
So it could be that they legitimately feel like that
.
I think that a lot of peoplejust do it for attention, which
is also something that they haveto work on with their therapist
.
But, we do have to considerthat it can be a legitimate
issue that some people have.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I mean the cult for attention is still an issue in
itself, exactly, exactly, in anysituation, in any situation.
Yeah, in her case it may or maynot have been body dysmorphia,
but I don't think that wouldhave been her reaction was an
appropriate reaction, especiallyif she was calling the
attention to her bird weeks.
(41:34):
Yeah exactly, and this one's mysecond comment Fat people
telling other fat people thatthey're fat Like.
Excuse me, where's theawareness.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yeah, I don't have anything to say about that.
I don't let you have it.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
I mean the rage is building.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
No, not even.
I'm just trying to say thiscarefully, okay.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Oh, look at me, what was it?
Oh are you going to work onconsciousness?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
No, not that one no, ok, mindful.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Mindful, mindful, mindful.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
That's the word of the week I still haven't reached
my conscious, maybe just in thefuture.
We'll see.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Will they get there?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Well, we get there.
No, but like, if you are at acertain body weight and you are
judging others, individual,other individuals don't do that
either.
Just because you are at acertain body weight doesn't give
you the right to say or saysomething mean or judgmental to
another person who may beheavier than you, who may look
(42:43):
different than you, who may looklarger than you.
That still doesn't give you theright.
So and I think that's I thinkat least in my family other
individuals are of a certainsize and then they comment on me
and I'm like, and I don't wantto be rude and disrespectful,
but I want to be like, ok, let'slook both in a mirror, let's
(43:07):
see where we both are, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
If you're going to be mean, I'm going to be mean back
, but my parents are here, soI'm not going to do it because
I'm going to yell at me.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
I remember one time, one of my mom.
I don't want to be yelled at bymy parents.
It hurts my feelings.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
I have feelings.
Yeah, we'll come back to thatone.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I remember one time one of my mom's friends came
over and she said that commentto me that I is.
That's one of that Like you'reso pretty, but it'd be prettier
if you were skinny.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Not a bit.
I'm pretty now.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
And my dad was like at least she's one of that I
like love that.
Not a lot of people can saythat.
Like you know, and I justlooked at him and he was like
you're pretty, she's not likeyou can lose weight.
She can't fix her ugly, it'sinside and out.
And I was like dad, that's mean.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
But yes, thank you.
I think the moral of the storyis just don't comment on other
people's bodies, exactly.
Especially if you don't knowthe context of what's going on.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Like it's not.
It's unnecessary.
It's unnecessary, and justbecause you feel bad for your
body doesn't mean that you makeyou have to make other people
feel bad for their body.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Yeah, how do we feel about the word fat?
I don't really care for it.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
It is what it is Like if you have fat, you are fat.
We all have fat, though.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
We all have fat.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
There's just different levels of of fat.
Yeah, but I mean I don't thinkit should be a word that should
be used against people.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, it does have a negative connotation, though it
has.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
It does have a very negative connotation, but I
don't think it should be usednegatively, and that comes with
making comments like these, likeyou're bringing me whatever and
I'm like baby, just look atyourself.
But yes, it definitely is aword used to describe
(45:13):
individuals negatively, andmaybe don't use that description
at all, or maybe just don'tfreaking comment on other
people's bodies.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
You don't know what they're going through.
Just keep it to yourself.
It's their body, exactly.
Worry about yourself.
Worry about yourself, theirbody, their choice, exactly.
Yes, queen, you're welcome.
Nova agreed with that becausehe just came.
I love that, nova.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
He's already a feminist.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
I love him so much.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
We're doing such a good job as gantams.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
It's going to be great.
The podcast is working.
Yes, we are changing oneperson's mind at a time,
including babies, a baby's mindat a time Any closing thoughts.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
It's definitely a struggle that a lot of us deal
with.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It's not just your own struggle, honestly.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Yes, I think, especially in our culture,
something that has beennormalized and that it's seen as
something that is funny whenit's actually very hurtful,
especially when it's said tosomeone who's really young.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
So, hopefully, my hope is that now that we're
growing up and we're having kids, we can change the way that we
can talk to our kids, the way wetalk about our bodies, the way
they see that we love ourselvesas we are.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Love in a respectful way.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
That's what I'm hoping that things will change.
But yes, it's definitelysomething really really
difficult still.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yes, so I hope that people hearing our version of
our experiences with white losswill help them understand theirs
a little bit more.
So I hope that happens.
But yes, the theme of this yearis be mindful.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Oh, I like it.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Mindful.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Be mindful of Word of the.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Week Word of the Week .
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Every week Every week , honestly For the next season,
for the next full season.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yep, be more mindful of yourself.
Give yourself grace We'vetalked about this before and
that includes your body and mind.
Your own business.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
The body is lacking person, the body that you are,
real body is not your body,Unless that's your child or
service Damage being done.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah, Before you say your closing thoughts.
We didn't even mention anythingabout all the fake pills and
diets that are out, we will haveto do a part two because I
think we should do part two fearmothering you lose weight, it's
gonna melt your fat.
Oh my god, yeah, yeah, we'lltalk about that.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
I think for me is something that I've been trying
to practice a lot when it comesto my body and my weight is move
your body because you love it,not because you hate it.
Do positive things for yourbody because of love and not
because I hate Like.
Don't punish yourself forsomething that's not even a bad
thing.
You know, like you just loveyourself enough and make those
(48:26):
changes that you need to make,and just love your body.
Learn to love your body.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Learn to love and appreciate your body.
Hell yeah, brother.
Yep, that was very country ofme, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Anyway, have a good night.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Have any questions and follow us on social media at
LLOM underscore podcast onInstagram and the Facebook and
TikTok.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Latin State of Mind on Facebook and TikTok is I
think the same, I believe.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
So, yeah, bye, bye, have a good night.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Thank you for listening to.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
Latina State of Mind produced by us.
Your awesome host, Diana, Soniaand Nancy.
Special shout out to Jerome,our editor, don't forget to
follow us on Instagram at LSOMunderscore podcast and on
Facebook at Latina State of Mind.
I'll see you next time.
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created
by Latinas for all audiences,where we can share our
experiences about love, life andeverything in between.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back.
Hello, this is Latina's Stateof Mind and once again bringing
(00:38):
your joy.
Sorry, I was going to say thisis Latina's Daily Shits.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're not there yet.
Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We'll get there, we'll get there.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I'll rile up my horses.
What Anyway, so much fun Secondseason.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I hope everyone's excited for today's topic.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It's a serious one, never mind, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Tell us about it.
I'm excited about it.
Okay, yeah, we'll make it fun.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Anyways, we're going to be talking about weight loss.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's a difficult topic.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
But we'll do our best to cover it the best way we can
, something that we hear about alot, especially at the
beginning of the year, so very,you know, timely.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, I haven't.
Well, I haven't heard it, but Imean it's always a constant
reminder on social media becausethat's where we usually are now
Of like all of these fad dietsand equipment and what's it
called them, kind of liketraining exercises and all of
these things.
There's always so much pressureto lose weight.
(01:46):
What you guys have experiencedwith this.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
I feel like I'm excited aboutthis topic because it's
something that I have dealt withmy entire life, technically,
like since becoming a teenager,and like being aware of my body,
like weight loss has alwaysbeen a thing for me, like it's
(02:11):
somebody has always.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I don't know if I feel like it's more of like
someone made you aware of yourbody Right.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Right, like somebody made me aware of my body and
made a comment.
And how it wasn't the body thatI should, that everybody should
wear.
And then that made me thinkwell, I need to lose weight and
I've gone through so many linksto lose weight and to to fit
into that mold that doesn't evenbelong to me, like I didn't
(02:39):
even know what a perfect bodywas.
And now I understand that theperfect body is the body I have
and I'm in Right.
It's just been such a like forme such a heavy topic and such a
rough conversation, and it'sjust been a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do you remember what one of the first things that you
heard was when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think it comes from your parents.
Definitely, it always comesfrom your parents and you know,
and and the people around you,always saying how fat they are
and how they so, and so is gainweight.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Or even I think, like even making comments, to like
oh, you would look prettier ifyou were scared.
Oh, like saying in such a niceway but hurting you so much yeah
.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Like I you know, in our culture, like so bad about
talking about other people'sbodies or the way they talk
about, like if one of theirfriends would gain weight or one
of their friends.
I don't know anything.
I remember hearing it's that inGorda, like she's really fat or
he's really fat, or.
Oh my gosh, I can't believethey're like so fat.
(03:47):
You know, and I remember beinglike All right, so the goal is
to not be fat, got it?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I think for me I first started hearing it.
It wasn't directly from myparents, but it was comments
that other family members madeto them about me, and so they
yeah.
And so they started telling meand like they still were very
cautious about it.
But I had family members tellthem like, oh, like.
(04:12):
Exact same comment.
Like, oh, she would look betterif she was skinnier.
If she would, she would lookbetter in this outfit If there
was this and that.
Why does that anger me?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
so much.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's terrible.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It's hurtful, it's very hurtful, and I can.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Maybe my parents hurt my parents as well, and so they
had to do it.
Not they don't have to do it,but they were felt pressured to
mention it as well.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I remember one time a family member said something
about that I would look betterand my kids sing it a dress if I
would lose weight.
Yeah, and my mom?
This time my mom got mad atthese individuals and she was
like no, you stop that.
Yeah, I can't.
I don't know exactly.
She never told me the fulldetails of the conversation
(04:56):
because I mean, she was going tospare me of them.
Um, but she was like this is,first of all, I wasn't heavy.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
No no.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was.
I was skinny.
No, Was I heavy?
I wasn't, I wasn't.
But these individuals had thisperspective of me and like how I
would supposedly look better inmy kids sing and address
because I would have lost weight, if I would have lost weight at
15 years old.
I was, it was 14.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Ridiculous, it was 14 .
Ridiculous For my kids sing andI yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And so I don't think my body was fully formed at that
age.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, You're not even developed.
No, like fully developed.
Yeah right.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I feel like that's the time where most people hear
something about their body andhow they look.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Is that like 15,?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
14, when you're, when you're a teen, and your
hormones are not where they needto be and you still have a
little bit of baby fat or not,or you know, like exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Cause like at least puberty, for every girl is so
different, so different.
And it's honestly changing as awhole itself through each
generation.
So, even then, old ideas arenot fitting with current ideas,
cause it's you know, ourenvironment is changing us and I
mean, and all of these oldideas are still being pushed on
(06:16):
us when it's not the realityanymore, right, yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And then you become so.
I feel like for me I was sohard on myself, like I literally
was like a size nine or 10 andthat's like average, it's
totally average.
But I felt like the biggestwalk in cow on the planet, like
I remember just being like don'tlook at me, I would wear baggy
(06:40):
clothes and I would always likehide my belly Didn't have a
belly to hide Like I didn'treally like I was just built a
little different, like my bonesare not heavier, but like I'm
built a little different, likeI'm not meant to be a hundred
pounds, like that's not how Iwas built.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
A lot of it is genetics too Right.
Like your body is being like,the shape of your body is being
passed down from generations.
Of course you can lose weight,bring it up and down or whatever
, but the shape of it is goingto stay like whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Right.
You're not going to be able tochange that, especially at 14,
15, like that's crazy, that'snot even a thing.
Yeah, it shouldn't be a thing.
It shouldn't be a thing.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, For me.
I was very skinny and then Iwent to college and I started
gaining weight and I haven'tstopped since then, but even
when I wasn't really.
I don't know.
I felt like I was overweight,but now, looking back, I'm like
dude, now you're wearing likethat's so sad that you thought.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
So, yeah, a lot of those ideas were pushed onto us
and even if you weren't, we feltlike it and whether through it
was well, not social media, butlike back in the day was like
maybe TV, other type of media oryour family.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, a lot of it for me has been family comments and
stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I remember gosh, I still remember it's so sad.
I remember going into thefridge and bringing out like a
notebook with me and be likeokay, I'm not going to eat these
foods anymore.
I know I've, I still got like13 or 14.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
That's so sad.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
I still remember it to this day, sitting down
opening the fridge and I'm like,okay, I'm not going to eat
cheese, I'm not going to eatthis, I'm not going to eat that,
I'm not going to eat that, andI felt like I was going to make
a change or I was going to makea difference, but I mean, it
took me nowhere except for likean eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Exactly.
And then it's the saddest partLike you don't have to be super
skinny to have an eatingdisorder.
You can be at a healthy welland a different weight Right and
have an eating disorder.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I think that no, no, I was just going to say that's
the key word, right, healthyCause healthy can look different
for everybody, and everybody'sgoing to react different to
everything, so healthy might bea different way for someone
who's your same height, soyou're going to obviously look
different.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I think it's hard because, like, how unrealistic
are weight loss expectations?
You know like it's sounrealistic.
So it's not based onindividuals and it's based on
looks.
Like it's not like the three ofus sitting here.
Our body shapes are sodifferent.
We're different heights, wehave different body shapes.
If we lose 20 pounds it's goingto show different in all of us.
(09:35):
Like it's going to showdifferent in all of us and that
doesn't mean anything Like.
It just means we're different.
But society is expecting us toall look this one way Like
you're skinny, with big boobsand big butt.
Yeah, you're going to have aflat belly and that's what looks
good and it's like.
For how many years have youbeen hearing that Like?
For how many years have youbeen?
(09:56):
Like you just need to have aflat stomach?
Like in my era back in the1990s to.
Like early 2000s beautystandards were on a rex stick.
Like if we could see yourcollar bone and your rib like
bones up here in your collararea.
That's beauty.
Like that's considered beautyand that was my goal.
(10:17):
Like for me to be beautiful, Ineeded to be bony and also no
butt and no butt.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, that was such a long time, my impossible thing.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Nobody could never do that.
The perfect body that I was.
I guess Push on was like theNRX sick and thin because I grew
up in the 2000s and To me Iremember Dang it, I need to look
like Paris Hilton right becausewhen she was younger, when she
was super young, she was alittle stick and she was a
little Square body and that'sher body shape like that, that's
(10:53):
she's tall and she's thin andthat's how she spilt.
And then me, oh my gosh.
Whenever I got a butt, I was sosad when I got a butt.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I was so sad when I didn't get.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Different stories, but I felt like so huge because
I had a big old butt and I waslike what the fuck?
Where did this come from?
Why is this here?
Why is this here?
Why is this so big?
Why doesn't it look like hers?
Why doesn't it look like hers?
Why doesn't look like ParisHilton's?
Yeah, and I still, I stillremember to this stage being
(11:29):
like more aware that I wasdifferent, that I was blushiest
and that I didn't fit the norm.
At that time I almost wasrelieved a little bit.
Whatever Cremacordation and JLocame more popular.
Yeah, okay, I look a little bitmore like that, but still,
there's a lot of unrealisticexpectations with those bodies.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
It's now, it's an extreme right.
So now it's like Okay that comeon.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
That's too much yeah but I hope that someday we make
the body itself like a Norm andjust having a body yeah.
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Have you guys seen that meme for like a beach body.
Oh, I don't get ready for abeach body.
You just have a body.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Just have a body.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Or if you're in a nudist beach you know, you would
know about that.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
You wanna talk about that?
What?
I've never would you do it?
Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
No no.
I think I would do it,especially if I had been
drinking.
I would be less, more inclined,yeah less inhibited.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I feel like a lot of those individuals are under some
sort of influence.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yeah, I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I think maybe, maybe, but I think they are
exhibitionists.
I think some people likeshowing and Not like a very body
positive wave, a more like aFetish way like a sexual thing
like a sexual thing.
I think that's more like it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I might.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I may be wrong, I may be completely wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
But if you've ever been to one, let us know what
the vibe was if it's sexual oror it was just chill.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I mean there has to be some level of respect.
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Would you stare?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I think I would.
I'd see a nice pee pee and it'dbe like whoa nice pee pee.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
You would actually come up, you would say that I
would not actually say that youwould look at it and smile.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
All right, let's bring it back way, lost anyway.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think it's because we see, like celebrities right,
and they go through atransformation, and then you're
like, okay, like I can do it.
The thing that we don't see isthat they have the money to pay
for a trainer.
To pay for a chef to pay forall of these things, which makes
it happen faster for them andit's more accessible, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
But it's so hard.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
It's so hard to lose weight.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Have you guys said unrealistic goals for yourself?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yes, all the time.
Do you want to share Well withweight?
Last year was I was actually.
I gained more weight and then Ilost some during the middle of
the year, but I've always hadlike I'm gonna lose 70 pounds in
three months.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I lost 150 pounds by separating from my partner.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah so yeah, I've done that for sure.
Maybe not 70, but yeah,something like crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That is unhealthy to lose Super unhealthy yeah what
about you?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
No same, I think for a really long time.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
First of all, I wasn't big, wasn't heavy, but I
was don't say was because you'restill not big and you're still
not heavy.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Sorry, that's the social pressured talking.
Sorry, but for a long time,whenever I was smaller, when I
was younger, I also did, andmaybe not many years ago I was
like, okay, same, same idea 50pounds in six months?
Mm-hmm, I mean that may bedoable, that I also have a
(15:40):
full-time job, mm-hmm, I havehobbies.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I do not have a personal chef like sometimes I,
sometimes I don't eat yeah, Iwould drink a lot so I could
never achieve my goal.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, no, for real, I only started this like
alcohol-free lifestyle, a couplelike actually a year ago, but
for a long time I was drinkingheavily the whole weekend and so
there was a lot of things thatI pressured myself into losing
weight.
But then here I am having likea normal life that's not really
(16:13):
gonna allow me to do this.
Mm-hmm or allow me to do this inthe time frame that I wanted to
do this?
Mm-hmm, I wanted to do it rightaway and I'm like no, I don't
have a personal trainer, I don'thave a chef, exactly like.
I said so.
It was.
It became.
It's very unrealistic as aaverage person to Set these
really difficult goals.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I think you can Set goals and lose weight if that's
what you want to do.
But I think you have to look atthe root of where your
insecurities coming from.
I think most of the time we'rethinking we're not, we're not
worth something right the loveof someone or the respect of
something or Whatever it isbecause your body's not the
standard exactly.
So I think that's the thingthat we have to heal first, and
(16:56):
then you know, if you want tolose weight, you want to go to
the gym, you want to becomestronger or whatever it is, then
you can look to waste to dothat, for ways to do that.
But I think if we don't look atwhat is causing us that Desire,
then it's just really difficultbecause then you go back.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, you're not gonna stay in the cycle, exactly
yeah yeah.
For me.
I feel like I had so manyunrealistic Explotations to, but
I think one of the many oneswas if I work out really hard,
like every single day, and Noteat like I'm not eating, oh my
(17:34):
god.
Like then I have to lose weight.
Like, then I have to loseweight.
Well, I have something calledPCOS that doesn't allow me to
lose weight as much as like theaverage person Some kind of
hormones, something and I wouldlove to talk more about this,
because there's a lot of womenout there that fit but I
(17:54):
Remember I was doing CrossFit,oh wow.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Isn't that a little intense?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It's very interesting , crazy, intense.
I was doing hundreds of burpeesa week and I was running and
lifting weights and Literallyeating chicken breasts and I
lost 15 pounds, damn.
And I did this for two monthsand I remember being like, how
is this even possible?
Like I'm a failure, like youknow.
(18:20):
And then you just I rememberbeing so hard on myself because
how could I work so hard andliterally not lose anything?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
But also like Then I was gaining muscle.
No, yeah, and that's the thing.
15 pounds is a lot of weight tolose.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's a lot of weight to lose, plus muscle weights
more than fat.
So I was losing the fat andgaining muscle.
You didn't have the perspective.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
But I didn't Like, I was just so unrealistic about
the number on the scale.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah that I was like this is so crazy, this is
ridiculous, and I droppedCrossFit.
Well, I also hurt my backpretty badly during a deadlift
and I stopped doing CrossFit.
And then I just started justeating badly and having bad
habits because I was angry atmyself.
Then I was punishing myself.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
And I mean the injury came itself from pushing too
hard, too hard.
So like salio contra por lossentes.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, it's like punishment, like I've learned
through my weight loss journeythat all I've done for myself is
try to punish myself for beingoverweight.
And that's such a sad place tolive.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It's really, it's extremely sad, but I don't think
you're the only one who can saythat.
I think that's the wholeoverall, most of the sentiment
individuals that want to loseweight.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I wonder how it is for men, because we were talking
about like earlier etc.
In our culture, especiallyright, people make made fun of
if they're heavier which happensto men all the time especially
boys, right Calling themgorditos and stuff like that.
I wonder how much that affectstheir mental health and their
everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I think it's terrible because it's more, it's more
normalized.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah, it's like it's funny.
It's funny.
You're just being funny.
Laugh at it.
It's silly.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, that's terrible .
I dang.
I only wish we could know howthat feels, but it can't feel
great.
No and for the longest time andstill to this day, you can't
really talk about it.
They couldn't share theirfeelings.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You're a man, figure it out.
You're a boy, You're notsupposed to feel blah, blah blah
Right yeah.
So a lot of times I don't thinkthey could complain.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
My mom tells a story.
Like my dad, he he had to get.
He gained a lot of weight.
Well, when he moved up here,when he lived in Mexico, like he
was a musician and he didsports and play soccer and stuff
and once he moved here, likethere was none of that, like he
just had to figure out how toget money and how to like
(20:53):
support us all up here.
So he started to gain a lot ofweight because he had driving
jobs and jobs where he had tosit for a lot of periods of time
and he gained a lot of weightand a lot of stress, and a lot
of stress and a lot of like justthings.
And she says that when they wentback to Mexico the first time
that his family made so much funof him, and that he cried.
(21:15):
He was just so hurt and insteadof like them being like, oh my
gosh, you're so glad to see you,it was like damn dude, you're
so fat and I can't believeyou're so fat.
And I remember being like whodid that to my dad?
You know, but it was so normalto them because, like, it's
funny, it's a joke.
You know, he is fat.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Take it as a joke, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And he's not supposed to be like offended because
it's funny and he's a guy and heshould just tough it out and
that's really sad.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, that's really sad.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So I cannot imagine like he never talked about how
that made him feel, of course,but I can't imagine how terrible
he must have felt, like goingback when he had him back in
like 15 years, and the onlything they could say was you're
fat.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Yeah, maybe we can try to see if we can find
someone to come talk about likeweight and body image with some
man in our culture to share thatexperience?
Because, yeah, I wonder, I wasjust wondering about that when
we were talking about it at thebeginning.
It's a different experience.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
It's rough on girls, it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It's rough on us, but we hear about it more.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Aha, now, now, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And so we hear about it more so we can, we have a
more of a perspective on that,but we don't really.
I don't know.
I don't really hear it from men.
Yeah, the only thing I don'tknow.
I feel like all of it.
At least, since we're Hispanic,we can say all of these
Hispanic families usually have atendency to call you out if
you're too heavy or so they'llcomment.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
They'll comment, they'll have something to say.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
They'll always have something to say.
But, man, I wish we can have amale perspective.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah, maybe in a future episode.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
What's the most annoying stigma that you guys
hear about, like overweight?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
people that they're not healthy that they can't do.
Whatever other people can do, Ifeel like for me is that
they're lazy Like that is thebiggest one.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, Because I remember there's.
I love hiking and I loveworking out, like I did CrossFit
for a really long time and Idid this other workout.
It's called orange theory.
That's so much fun and I loveit.
And you know, not a lot ofskinny people don't do it, Like
you know a lot of skinny peoplecan't do it Right and so like I
(23:28):
love doing things and moving mybody and so like for me to be
called lazy just because I gainweight or look a certain way.
Like it was always such a bother, like I'm always like, but I
can jog, but I can do this, butI can.
You know, I'm not lazy Like, Ido so much, like I have a
full-time job, I go to full-timeschool, I like I'm always
(23:50):
moving, like what do you meanlazy?
Like in what sense?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Yeah, there are so many other things that affect
that part of yourself, not onlylike we were talking about
genetics, right?
Obviously, if there's somethinglike PCOS or anything like that
, I know depression can be acause.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Anxiety.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Anxiety if you're taking some sort of medication
that might be making you gainweight too.
There are so many other thingsthat affect your weight.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
There are so many determinants that could be going
on with an individual and it'snot okay to be like oh it's
because you're lazy.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, yeah let's not say that.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And you're not going to be like, oh, it's because I'm
taking medication for this, sothat affects my weight Right,
because it's not anybody'sbusiness.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Why would you have to say that?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I feel like people think that they deserve that
explanation.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
And sometimes just because life happens like
there's nothing else but, thatright Like there's there doesn't
have to be any freakingexplanation for anyone.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Well, you know what I'm going to eat?
Like a cake, because I deserveit.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, right, there's a lot of things going on and I
don't know.
I feel like we need to work onour judging yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
When my dad passed away, I would get up, cry eat,
go back to bed, cry, eat, likeliterally that's all I could do,
Like I was trying to keepmyself alive.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah, you were in survival mode and I was in
survival mode.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And then when I looked at gain like 20 pounds
and I was like, oh shit, likenow I need to work on this.
But that wasn't even after thepain I was feeling like weight
was the last worry that I had.
Like I didn't care about losingor gaining weight at the time
because the only thing I caredabout was that my dad was gone.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yeah, and then did it ever happen to you guys when
you were thinking?
Because I remember, like I said, I was gaining weight since
college.
But then I was like, okay, I'mjust going to get to this point
and then I'll start working outso I can still eat a bunch of
Taco Bell or whatever, and thenI would get there and I'd be
like, oh, it's so hard, okay,I'm just going to get to this
point and then I'm going tostart working out.
(25:54):
Did you guys ever do that?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Just me?
I'm pretty sure it's not justyou.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, I did it, I just did it recently.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I was like, okay, I'm going to give myself.
I was going through, I was justworking a little bit more and
so I didn't pay attention tomoving my body a whole lot.
But I was like, okay, I'm justgoing to do this right now, and
then I'm going to make the bestof what I can with what I got
and then enjoy myself.
And starting the year Iactually started beforehand, but
(26:24):
still around that same time Iwas like and then I'm going to
start moving more.
And that's when I added my goal.
I'm like, okay, I'm going tostart being more mindful of what
I eat.
I'm going to start eating lesswas basically my goal as well.
I started eating less outsidemy bed.
I should have added that on noteating less, because I don't
think that I eat a whole lot,but I wanted to be, I don't know
(26:48):
, I just didn't want to go outand eat out a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And that's just how I'm moving more.
But yes, I totally did that, Idid that recently and I don't
know if it's healthy on healthy,but I already did that.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But we do it all the time.
Yeah, I would do it all thetime.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's either if, if I'll start on Monday or I'll
start and so on, the first I'llstart on, you know okay for now,
because this is the last dayI'm going to pizza.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Pizza is so good I know, did you guys ever?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
hear about pizza Is the pizza, the distractor.
I have a question.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
For me, dating was really difficult because I I was
so insecure about my body and Istill am insecure insecure
about my body.
Was it difficult?
And the reason I'm asking isbecause to me you both are so
confident, Like I have learnedabout confidence because of both
(27:46):
of you, and I love like one ofthe things I love with being
around you guys is like how much, like Diana, you love your body
and Nancy, like you alwaysdress to impress and I could
never do that Like I could.
I always dress to hide, Like,always dress to hide.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Like to be honest, though.
Yes, I don't love my body and Idon't dress to impress.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You fakers, you lie to me.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
That's how I deal with it.
Fake it till you, make it.
You know, maybe eventually Iwon't have that feeling anymore,
but at this time I do.
But I don't love my body.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, hold on hold on , so it was dating hard for you.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It has been very difficult Okay.
Cause I'm like.
I'm like oh, what if they don'tlike me?
What if it's that?
What if it's that, what if it'sthat?
No, no, no, no, no, Really,yeah.
Okay, let me rephrase thisthough I love myself, I love my
body because it gives me.
I love myself, I love my bodybecause it gives me.
I love myself, I love myself, Ilove myself, I love myself, I
love myself, I love myselfliteral life.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I can move.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
literally I can do everything.
So I love my body for that.
I don't love how exactly how itlooks, but I think that can be
worked on and so I'm trying tochange my mindset.
But like just to be completelyclear, I don't full on love it
all the time, Okay, all the time.
It's all.
The time is the key.
I like it.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah.
I know you're going to say that?
No, I was just going to say so.
I don't know if it everaffected my dating, but I know
in my last relationship when Istarted gaining more weight, it
was really hard to like even beintimate because I was so
insecure Like I didn't.
I didn't want to show anythingbecause I didn't.
I felt so bad about myself.
(29:30):
Yeah, but yeah, that'sdefinitely happened.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I feel like for me it has gosh.
It makes me want to cryhonestly to think about it,
because it has been such a big,constant thing in my life.
And even meeting my husband,like I remember being like, oh,
what if he doesn't like my, mystretch marks?
And like I have stretch marksin my belly and he, man, I don't
(29:53):
have a big button.
Oh, guys, like big butts and Ihave a double chin or oh, I have
this.
And it's things that I just sitthere knit and pick at.
That are probably not thatserious, but I see them so big.
And during pregnancy, like I waslike, well, I'm never going to
show, like because I'm heavierset, so like I'll never get that
(30:17):
experience of having like apretty belly that shows and like
it has.
It has been so hard to to lookat weight and to look at myself
within that weight and feel likeI'm worthy and I'm beautiful.
And I'm so lucky that I got apartner that loves me and finds
(30:37):
me attractive and and helps mebe confident and I'm finding
that through him and today I cansay, yeah, maybe this, this
body, was not, it's not perfect,but it's creating a life.
And I have a belly and it isfucking and it's growing and I'm
(31:00):
loving seeing the growth ofthis belly and, yeah, I am
growing with the belly, but atthe same time, you know like.
I'm, I'm, I'm growingemotionally, I'm growing in so
many ways and I'm learning tolove myself and and every day
when I'm like, oh man, this ishard, I think my body's doing
(31:24):
this, like my body is getting methrough this.
My body has gotten me to thispoint where, at 40 years old, I
can be pregnant.
And and why have I beenpunishing myself, like, why have
I been being so mean to myself,you know, and and it's all
those things we talk about, it'sall those things, all the
(31:45):
stigmas, all the judgments,until finally I, I come to the
realization that we should moveour bodies because we love our
bodies and not because we'repunishing our bodies.
And we should feed our bodiesgood nutrient, nutrient stuff
because we love our bodies, notbecause we're punishing our
bodies.
(32:05):
And that has really helped mechange the way I look at my, at
my weight loss or not weightloss, you know, like, at who I
am and how I look and lovemyself for that it's so funny
how we have those like internalbattles because, just like you
were saying, like you see, dianaand myself, the way I've always
(32:25):
seen you is just like fuckingbeautiful.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
All the fucking time, like no, it has not ever been a
question Like that's never been, like oh never.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Like you're fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Yeah you are, so it's interesting, right, how we have
all these ideas inside of usand not
Speaker 1 (32:45):
really what other?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
people are necessarily seeing.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Because you're fucking amazing, right.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Yeah, you sit there and you pick, you know, like yes
oh, I don't like this, I don'tlike that, I don't like that.
And and like you're right, likeI met Diana and I was like
smitten, like I was in love.
I was just like thank you, whois this wild child?
And she's so fucking beautifuland she's so confident and I met
(33:17):
you and I felt the same way andit's like for me in my eyes,
like when I talk about myfriends all of my friends are
like fucking gorgeous, like Ilike to me, my friends are like
the most beautiful people, notonly inside but outside, like I
don't have an ugly friend.
I don't You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I don't think we'd be friends if we were ugly inside
or out.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Inside for sure.
Inside for sure.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Inside especially.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Because that.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I think that makes it or breaks it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Because shitty person , shitty person, but you're
pretty Still.
Yeah, that's true, not sorry.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I remember what I was gonna say before?
No, because we were talkingabout the like expectations that
we can create.
Did it ever happen to you guysthat you set a goal because you
had, like something coming up?
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh my gosh, my wedding party.
A wedding or?
Speaker 3 (34:13):
something we do it all the time.
All the time Like torturingyourself to fit that whatever
you wanna wear.
Why?
Because how fun.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Right.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Oh my gosh, I used to buyclothes and, okay, I'm gonna
look way I'm gonna fit into it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
And I'm gonna fit into it I still have clothes
hanging in my closet that I'mgonna fit into.
Ooh Ooh.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I hate it.
And I look at him and I'm likefuck.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I threw a pair of pants away today, really, cause
I'm like I'm not fitting in themright now and if I ever did,
I'm just gonna buy new pants,like I'm not gonna wear these
pants.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I don't need to see them here just occupying space.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Remind me what, torturing me For what?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, basically torturing yourself.
Like, oh, I'm gonna fit intothis eventually.
So I've started to change mymindset about that as well,
Cause I'm like buy clothes thatfit you.
That feel nice that feel good,that feel nice, that are gonna
good quality clothes that aregonna last you.
I've started to, I've startedto take well, it's been a while
that I've started to take thatinitiative, I guess.
(35:15):
But yeah, it's like don't worryabout the size Cause, first of
all, there's no actual unit size.
That is, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Thank you for saying that, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah, so like a size large on this brand could be a
size small on this brand.
So there's-.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
And it messes so much with your head Oof.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Oof.
Whenever I was buying jeans andjust having that realization, I
was like, oh wait, I have tobuy a larger size in, like in
Levi's, but I'm over here a sizeover here on Express.
I'm like when is going?
Speaker 1 (35:50):
on.
Yeah, I'm getting weight fromone store to the other.
It's terrible.
Was it that churro that I waseating on my way here?
I could have not.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
It was like I see the coffee and then yes, but I've
started to buy clothes that feelgood on me, that fit me well,
and it's difficult it's not easyto not look at the size, but
it's doable.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I remember when I went to go get my wedding dress
like the sizes are off, likethey're huge.
Okay, they're very off Cause.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I love watching say yes to the dress.
That's the point.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, cause I don't know it is.
It's like I don't know what'son the HBO, no, but like we went
in there and the lady was likeyou're a size, Like it was just
like a 55.
What?
It was a huge number and I wasjust like that's an actual
number.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I don't know what's the size?
There's no, it's an actualnumber.
I don't know what's the size.
I don't know what's the size 55.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
No 55 is the number.
55 is the number of the dress.
Anyway.
But I remember being like what?
And then I was like, oh, I haveto, I have to lose weight, I
have to lose weight, oh my gosh.
And we got the dress, wealtered it and the lady was like
, oh, this looks perfect, like,don't gain weight and don't lose
weight because we've alreadygotten it perfect.
(37:16):
And I was like, no, I'm, I'mgoing to lose weight.
She's like no, but Like I saidno.
And I lost a little bit ofweight, but it was still doable.
And I remember on my weddingday I was like I'm a princess,
I'm so beautiful Look at mydress Gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
Thank you, gorgeous, you're dressed.
Yeah, you look so beautiful.
She's wearing it again.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, I'm going to wear it all the time Once I have
this baby every.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Friday night Go wear it right now.
No, I can't fit in it right now?
Speaker 1 (37:42):
No baby, baby, he's in the way.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
All right, you wear your wedding dress and all when
my kinsengera.
Do you have your kinsengeradress?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I don't think I have it anymore.
All right, let's get you adress.
Ok, ok, I have a dress.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
We'll just record in our dresses Like a poofy
princess dress.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
That's not my style it's going to be.
We should do pictures like that.
Like a photo session.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
My mom would love it honestly.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
We can go to Jaycee Penney and get those pictures.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
All right, that's a wonderful idea Pictures coming
up.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Pictures coming up Coming soon.
I see all pictures coming soon.
Yes, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Oh man, I think our next segment kind of goes into
what we're talking right now.
So do you want to tell themwhat that is?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I think it's Diana's Daily Shirt.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Woo, this one yes, it is actually my little ramp.
It's going to be related toweight loss.
Nice, first one.
First comment Skinny peoplesaying that they're fat.
It's so fucking annoying.
I don't know if you're doing itto fish for compliments, I
don't care.
Honestly, don't, especially infront of a fat person.
(39:03):
Yeah, especially in front of afat person Like you, saying you
feel so fat right now and you'relike 100 pounds.
No, no, don't do that, keep itto yourself.
Can I tell you a story aboutthat?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So I was in a choir class in community college and
there was this girl.
She was kind of annoying buteverybody tolerated her, and
every day she would walk in andbe like I'm so fat.
She was not fat, she wasbeautiful, not fat at all.
I'm just so fat, I'm just so fatand I was just like OK, so one
day one of the guys was like ifyou think you're so fat, like
(39:38):
why don't you work out?
And the guy I think the guy wasjust trying to help, like he
wasn't being a jerk, like heliterally was just trying to
like she's got a problem, here'sa solution.
And she was upset, like she waslike I can't believe you called
me fat what I'm?
(39:58):
At least not fat like theMexican women.
You know, because they eat lardand I was like oh girl, you
went the wrong way, like thatwas not OK.
And then we had these other twogirls that were pretty gangster
and they got up and they werelike, what do you say?
And then she just like panickedand just left.
But then I was like girl, wait,you're the one calling yourself
(40:20):
.
Yeah, you started thisconversation.
He was just trying to behelpful, yeah, and she cried
about it and made a whole dramaabout it and the other two girls
were ready to beat her up.
It's just like shut up to theother girls.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I don't know what to tell you, and why did she have
to make the Mexican comment?
I don't know, that wasn'tnecessary.
Yeah, she was just so out ofline, exactly Because the guy
that told her that was Mexican.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
So maybe she was trying to offend him.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I don't know, that's super fucking weird though.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
Yeah, but also Also I bet there are some people who
suffer from body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
So it could be that they legitimately feel like that
.
I think that a lot of peoplejust do it for attention, which
is also something that they haveto work on with their therapist
.
But, we do have to considerthat it can be a legitimate
issue that some people have.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I mean the cult for attention is still an issue in
itself, exactly, exactly, in anysituation, in any situation.
Yeah, in her case it may or maynot have been body dysmorphia,
but I don't think that wouldhave been her reaction was an
appropriate reaction, especiallyif she was calling the
attention to her bird weeks.
(41:34):
Yeah exactly, and this one's mysecond comment Fat people
telling other fat people thatthey're fat Like.
Excuse me, where's theawareness.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yeah, I don't have anything to say about that.
I don't let you have it.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
I mean the rage is building.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
No, not even.
I'm just trying to say thiscarefully, okay.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Oh, look at me, what was it?
Oh are you going to work onconsciousness?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
No, not that one no, ok, mindful.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Mindful, mindful, mindful.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
That's the word of the week I still haven't reached
my conscious, maybe just in thefuture.
We'll see.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Will they get there?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Well, we get there.
No, but like, if you are at acertain body weight and you are
judging others, individual,other individuals don't do that
either.
Just because you are at acertain body weight doesn't give
you the right to say or saysomething mean or judgmental to
another person who may beheavier than you, who may look
(42:43):
different than you, who may looklarger than you.
That still doesn't give you theright.
So and I think that's I thinkat least in my family other
individuals are of a certainsize and then they comment on me
and I'm like, and I don't wantto be rude and disrespectful,
but I want to be like, ok, let'slook both in a mirror, let's
(43:07):
see where we both are, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
If you're going to be mean, I'm going to be mean back
, but my parents are here, soI'm not going to do it because
I'm going to yell at me.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
I remember one time, one of my mom.
I don't want to be yelled at bymy parents.
It hurts my feelings.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
I have feelings.
Yeah, we'll come back to thatone.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I remember one time one of my mom's friends came
over and she said that commentto me that I is.
That's one of that Like you'reso pretty, but it'd be prettier
if you were skinny.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Not a bit.
I'm pretty now.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
And my dad was like at least she's one of that I
like love that.
Not a lot of people can saythat.
Like you know, and I justlooked at him and he was like
you're pretty, she's not likeyou can lose weight.
She can't fix her ugly, it'sinside and out.
And I was like dad, that's mean.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
But yes, thank you.
I think the moral of the storyis just don't comment on other
people's bodies, exactly.
Especially if you don't knowthe context of what's going on.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Like it's not.
It's unnecessary.
It's unnecessary, and justbecause you feel bad for your
body doesn't mean that you makeyou have to make other people
feel bad for their body.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Yeah, how do we feel about the word fat?
I don't really care for it.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
It is what it is Like if you have fat, you are fat.
We all have fat, though.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
We all have fat.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
There's just different levels of of fat.
Yeah, but I mean I don't thinkit should be a word that should
be used against people.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, it does have a negative connotation, though it
has.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
It does have a very negative connotation, but I
don't think it should be usednegatively, and that comes with
making comments like these, likeyou're bringing me whatever and
I'm like baby, just look atyourself.
But yes, it definitely is aword used to describe
(45:13):
individuals negatively, andmaybe don't use that description
at all, or maybe just don'tfreaking comment on other
people's bodies.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
You don't know what they're going through.
Just keep it to yourself.
It's their body, exactly.
Worry about yourself.
Worry about yourself, theirbody, their choice, exactly.
Yes, queen, you're welcome.
Nova agreed with that becausehe just came.
I love that, nova.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
He's already a feminist.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
I love him so much.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
We're doing such a good job as gantams.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
It's going to be great.
The podcast is working.
Yes, we are changing oneperson's mind at a time,
including babies, a baby's mindat a time Any closing thoughts.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
It's definitely a struggle that a lot of us deal
with.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It's not just your own struggle, honestly.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Yes, I think, especially in our culture,
something that has beennormalized and that it's seen as
something that is funny whenit's actually very hurtful,
especially when it's said tosomeone who's really young.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
So, hopefully, my hope is that now that we're
growing up and we're having kids, we can change the way that we
can talk to our kids, the way wetalk about our bodies, the way
they see that we love ourselvesas we are.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Love in a respectful way.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
That's what I'm hoping that things will change.
But yes, it's definitelysomething really really
difficult still.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yes, so I hope that people hearing our version of
our experiences with white losswill help them understand theirs
a little bit more.
So I hope that happens.
But yes, the theme of this yearis be mindful.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Oh, I like it.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Mindful.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Be mindful of Word of the.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Week Word of the Week .
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Every week Every week , honestly For the next season,
for the next full season.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yep, be more mindful of yourself.
Give yourself grace We'vetalked about this before and
that includes your body and mind.
Your own business.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
The body is lacking person, the body that you are,
real body is not your body,Unless that's your child or
service Damage being done.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah, Before you say your closing thoughts.
We didn't even mention anythingabout all the fake pills and
diets that are out, we will haveto do a part two because I
think we should do part two fearmothering you lose weight, it's
gonna melt your fat.
Oh my god, yeah, yeah, we'lltalk about that.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
I think for me is something that I've been trying
to practice a lot when it comesto my body and my weight is move
your body because you love it,not because you hate it.
Do positive things for yourbody because of love and not
because I hate Like.
Don't punish yourself forsomething that's not even a bad
thing.
You know, like you just loveyourself enough and make those
(48:26):
changes that you need to make,and just love your body.
Learn to love your body.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Learn to love and appreciate your body.
Hell yeah, brother.
Yep, that was very country ofme, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Anyway, have a good night.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Have any questions and follow us on social media at
LLOM underscore podcast onInstagram and the Facebook and
TikTok.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Latin State of Mind on Facebook and TikTok is I
think the same, I believe.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
So, yeah, bye, bye, have a good night.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Thank you for listening to.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
Latina State of Mind produced by us.
Your awesome host, Diana, Soniaand Nancy.
Special shout out to Jerome,our editor, don't forget to
follow us on Instagram at LSOMunderscore podcast and on
Facebook at Latina State of Mind.
I'll see you next time.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.