May 4, 2024 • 45 mins
Embarking on the journey of motherhood comes with a myriad of twists and turns, and on our latest episode we share the intimate details of this wild ride. From the heart-wrenching moments of premature birth and the battle against preeclampsia to the lighter, laughter-filled discussions on cultural birth year superstitions, we dissect every aspect of new parenthood. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, and we're here to recount the highs and lows, including the societal pressures and choices surrounding birth methods.
As we navigate the waters of motherhood, we confront the stigmas and often unspoken challenges that come with the title of 'mom.' The pain associated with childbirth and breastfeeding can be immense, but we're taking a stand against the notion that it's a rite of passage for true motherhood. I share my own tribulations with breastfeeding and the transition to formula, reminding all mothers that their choices are valid and that a happy, healthy baby is the ultimate goal. This episode is a candid confession booth of our personal experiences, where no topic is too taboo.
We wrap this emotional rollercoaster with conversations on the indispensable need for a robust support system, the impact of gender stereotypes in parenting, and the importance of mental health awareness. Giving a special nod to the partners who step up to the plate, we celebrate the shared journey of parenthood. Join us for these heartfelt tales and more as we embrace this beautiful chaos called motherhood!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
this is latina state of mind, a podcast created by
latinas for all audiences, wherewe can share our experiences
about love, life and everythingin between.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofLatina State of Mind.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Woo, we're back.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What's up witches?
Oh wait, my bad Witches.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So this is Nancy, and I'm here with Vianna and Xenia.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
How are you guys?
Great, great, I missed you guysI miss you too.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's been a while.
I know we took a little breakand we're gonna be talking about
the reason why we took a littlebreak.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You know, we just wanted to take a break, we
needed it it's from each other,no, Todo menos flash.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
We were fighting.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
It was a physical fight.
Diana hit us.
Sounds about right.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We had a restraining order against Diana.
It finally dropped.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We're finally allowed to be in the same room.
Actually, we're all on Zoombecause, Jerome didn't drop his
side of the restraining order.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Jerome might even hit you.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Just kidding you guys , I would never do that.
Anyways, we were on maternityleave.
Yes, we were.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Who had a baby Me.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So we have a new member of Latina State of Mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yes, and he's perfect .
He is one of the producers.
Yeah, yep, he's a new editor,if you hear his squeaky noises.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It's because he's here Making sure that everything
runs smoothly.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He's the supervisor Talent manager, so we're very
excited we're new aunties, I'mthe fun one, obviously.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Who are you the favorite?
What are you His favorite?
That's debatable.
Anyways, hi, mom, hi.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Mom, mom, mom.
I know I know that's debatable.
Anyways, hi, mom, hi, mom, mom,mom.
No, I know, first mother's dayever.
Oh my god, I already gotemotional about it.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I already cried about it, yeah okay but, yeah, that's
completely understandable.
I'll just I understand this one, this crying about it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay, this one.
What do you mean?
If she cries next year, you'renot gonna understand.
Uh, no, she's gonna cry.
She cries next year, you're notgoing to understand.
No, she's going to cry.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
She cries for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
As a matter of fact, I showed up and I was sitting
there crying yes, because mynephew is graduating high school
, and I got an invitation andit's so sweet, and I was just
sitting there bawling.
This could be a littlepostpartum too, you would have
cried.
Yeah, I know it's a little bitof everything, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
So that's what we're here to talk about.
You as a new mother, especiallynew mother.
Yeah, what is it like it'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
First of all, let me tell you guys, baby, not due
till april 12th, um, but I hadbeen feeling pretty sick, like I
had gained a lot of weight.
I was really bloated, just likeI was um swollen, like my legs
and feet were double the size ofwhat they normally are, like.
Everything was just like it wasbad and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Isn't that normal it?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
is um, but to an extent.
To an extent, and I don't think, I don't think it was normal,
but it shouldn't be normal, atleast, but it is normal, a lot
of women swell towards the endum but um, towards the end I was
sleeping on a couch like Icouldn't lay down, like it was
just awful, it was really bad.
And then I started feeling likecramping, um, and I was like,
(04:10):
well, it's probably justsomething called braxton hicks,
which is like fake cramping isit like your body kind of
getting?
ready, ready for baby to comeand all that.
Um, how do you know the thingsshe's?
Just so smart, she's gettingready no, actually this is so um
.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I don't do this exactly like I'm taking down
notes.
Okay, don't do this, becausereason 345 you swell up you
swell up um.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But then I went to the hospital and we knew baby
was bigger than um, than what hewas supposed to be.
I had, uh, gestational diabetes, so that's why also one of the
reasons why baby was bigger.
But then when I got to the umhospital, I was diagnosed with
something called preeclampsiaand then, if you can google that
(05:03):
, yeah, I don't know what thatis um, and so my blood pressure
was really high and they werejust worried about what that
could do for baby and me.
And baby was already nine poundsand so he was way too big to be
in there.
So at nine, nine am, 10 am ish,they told us we were having a
(05:24):
C-section.
At 1 pm and we went from hey, Ijust need to check up and make
sure everything's okay to you'rehaving a C-section at 1 pm.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, and how early was that.
The due date was April 12th.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So here was some whole month and a week ahead, so
34 weeks.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Oh jeez, and I do have um definition of
preeclampsia, uh, formerly knownas toxemia.
Toxemia happens when you'repregnant and had and have high
blood pressure, too much proteinin your pee and also swelling
in your legs, feet and hands.
It can range from mild tosevere.
Happens late in pregnancy, um,though it can come earlier or
(06:02):
just after delivery.
The main cause of it, uh, theplacenta not developing properly
due to a problem with the bloodvessels supplying it oh, that's
scary.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, so it's a little scary then.
Um, baby had I'll get emotionalabout this one maybe had to go
to the I was just kidding.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You can get emotional about anything.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah, okay, stop baby had to go to the niki right
after he was born, um, and thenI had to have a c-section, so he
since he was a preemie, um,there was a lot of tests and
stuff that they needed to do forhim and I didn't get to hold
him for about five days and Ithink, out of all the experience
(06:44):
, I think that was the hardest,because you have this like dream
of being a mom and your dreamof being a mom looks like you
get a baby on your chest and youget to hold your baby and you
get to do skin to skin right,and I didn't, like I saw him, I
got to to hear him cry and thenthey took him and the next time
(07:05):
I saw him he had all theselittle tubes on him and we could
, we could touch him, but we Icouldn't hold him and that was
really hard and, yeah, that wasjust, I think, the hardest part
of it all.
And then I had to go to my ownroom without a baby and then you
can hear all the babies in theother rooms crying I'm so sorry
and I just remember longing tolike have this baby, because I
(07:28):
had been carrying this, carryingthis baby with me, yeah, inside
of me, for the last few monthsand now like he wasn't with me
and he wasn't near me, you know.
So it was like it was just sucha trip and it was just kind of
hard for me.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
That one was the hardest part of it because you
didn't have the usual experienceright like for example, that
you see on tv or something, orthe experience that you make up
yourself, you know you're alwayslike, um, oh, I'm gonna have a
baby and this is what's gonnahappen, or this is what's gonna
go down, um, and the thing islike nobody had.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I I didn't know until I spoke about this experience
that a lot of women have gonethrough c-sections, that a lot
of my friends had c-sections andhad preemies and had babies in
the nicu, and I was just likewhy didn't you talk?
about it like how come?
I didn't know, but I guess Iwasn't paying attention because
I was just assuming that it wasa beautiful birth fine and dandy
(08:23):
, but also, I feel like, becausesometimes we don't know if it's
inappropriate to ask I guess,depending on what kind of
relationship you have with yourfriends and also like this was
your first time having a baby.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
If you've never birthed a baby, then you don't
really know what kind ofquestions to ask unless, like,
the mom is willing to sharethose things.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So I really appreciate that you're so yeah
and I love you and I'm so proudof you yeah, but I mean now it's
just I can't believe baby'shere oh no, thank you for
holding our little diana's.
If you could see diana, she'sholding our little fingers
middle finger I'm holding.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I'm holding your index finger, I'm holding her
middle finger you like my middlefinger better.
I love it whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa.
I don't know what you'rethinking, but anyways, this is a
very sweet and emotionalepisode about motherhood.
I'm so happy no, but I'm gladthat you're talking about this
and I hope that um, I don't knowit opens up the conversation
(09:26):
for other mothers or otherexpecting mothers to like hey,
this may happen, it's verypossible.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, I think it's like it's OK to talk about
things that are difficult.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Obviously not everything is going to be
perfect all the time, or like wedon't think it's perfect, but I
mean it is perfect.
You have a beautiful baby, yeah, he came early so you get to
have him for longer than youexpected, like sooner, yeah, um,
so yeah, I don't know, I think.
Yeah, we really appreciate youropenness and willingness to
talk about it and, if it helps,eddie did come.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
My brother eddie did come in sooner, about a week,
about a month sooner, and heturned out okay, I think he
turned out.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I mean, he's here, he's alive and he's like healthy
and stuff yeah, he does wellthanks, diana, that does help a
lot you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
You know what's funny ?
Your son was born in the yearof the dragon.
Yes, and he's also a dragon, ohmy gosh.
So I don't know if that meansanything to you.
It means great things.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Do you like Eddie?
Yeah, he's really nice Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Putting me on the spot.
Do you like Eddie Knowing thathe listens?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, Hi, knowing that he listens.
Yeah, hi, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I do like you.
It's all right.
He likes himself enough.
He doesn't need other people tolike him.
Anyways, motherhood it's beengreat.
So far it's been good.
Um, it's been nice to talk topeople and share those
experiences.
Also, I've been learning howmany shitty comments people make
to you when you're a mother.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Wait, has it happened to you already?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I've got a lot of.
Well, at least your vaginadidn't get teared up.
What the fuck, what is it theirbusiness?
Like at least you didn't birthyour actual baby.
Like at least you had aC-section.
That was easier.
That's not fucking easier Likemy stomach got cut up and I
couldn't move for like a while.
And why are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
My vagina, first of all, like the whole birthing
process, whether it is throughC-section or through your VJJ,
is traumatizing.
Yeah, it's painful.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And it's a birthing process it's a birthing process
period.
I didn't even know that therewas such a thing like.
I was talking to one of myco-workers and she had two
c-sections and she's like, yeah,people have a lot to say about
people that have had c-sections,that haven't had natural births
like they.
They make it seem like it waseasier because you had a
c-section and I was like yourbody being cut up.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I don't think that's easier yeah, because the
recovery time is longer.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, but then apparently like the, the thing
that takes away from you beinglike a mother.
Well, no, quote, unquote yeah,um, or as people see it, is that
you didn't actually go throughthe actual pain of birthing a
child, yeah exactly right, butin in those people's minds you
didn't.
Well, they're wrong and I wasjust like they're wrong there's
(12:31):
drugs nowadays.
If you're going through thatpain, like what a lot of people
choose to have natural birthsand that if that's what you want
, that's good for them.
Like it was never in my lifeplan to have a natural birth
anyway, like I wanted all thedrugs.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Like yeah, that I have heard about that, like
people judging yes, if youdecide to have a, an epidural
yeah, and I mean it's justnobody's business, right, right
we've been talking for so longabout my body, my choice yeah,
this is another aspect of mybody, my choice exactly, and I
think that's one of the things Ilearned as a mother.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Like a lot of people are like are you gonna do
natural birth?
And I was like, why would I?
We've come so far exactly ifyou could, you would.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
If you want to go for it, if you want to go like I
don't.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
For me personally, I don't understand the going
through the pain, like itdoesn't make me feel like more
of a mother if I feel more painlike I feel like if that helps
other mothers connect more totheir children, then that's like
cool, that's good for you but Idon't that pain connection was
never a thing for me there's.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
No, there is a correlation, but there shouldn't
really be a correlation, andplus there's women out there
that can just uh, kind of pushthem out and pain tolerance is
so different for everybody, but,and then I mean, if we're going
to talk about it, the conceptof motherhood.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
You can use a surrogate and still be a mother
right or you can adopt and be amother, or you can have kids in
so many different ways, sothat's just hurtful to say yeah,
yeah there's a lot in um, wehave a friend here hanging out
with us who is a mother.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
That all of my life, um and I don't know if you got
any of these stupid comments,but I feel like a lot of the
times, just the way people talkto you after being a mom, like
even the biggest torture for mehas been right now uh,
breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding has been roughfor me.
Breastfeeding it was somethingthat I envision as this, like
(14:33):
poetic, beautiful bonding timewith my child and I was gonna
sit there and I was just gonnayeah, exactly look into my
baby's eyes and rejoice andsomebody said that shit hurts
and I was like no way, likethere's no way that that can
hurt so much.
Like such a beautiful process sobeautiful, like your body's,
(14:53):
creating nutrients for your baby, and I, you know, was so
delusional I will tell you thatthat shit hurts so bad.
Yeah, like I wasn't prepared forit, like I remember sitting
there being like, oh my God, Idon't want to do this anymore.
Like I don't want it.
(15:13):
The baby was.
It was harder for him to latchbecause he's he's premature, so
he doesn't like, he doesn't doit like he's supposed to, so
sometimes he just hurts mynipples and then I have to.
A lot of the times I have tolike what I've been doing is
pumping so that he, he has mymilk along with formula.
So I'm like breastfeeding andgiving him formula both.
(15:34):
But it's hard, it's really hard, and like you have to pump
every so often so that your milksupply doesn't die down.
You, if you want your baby tobe breastfed and like latch onto
your breast, you have to reallywork hard at it.
And then your nipples are rawand you still have nipples
(15:55):
barely any okay reason 346, butthose are the things like I
didn't know it hurts.
So like people say it hurts likeyeah some people told.
Some people told me yeah, itreally hurts, but you don't
understand why it hurts, like Ididn't understand why it hurt.
Like it hurts because, likeyour boobs are extra heavy.
I had Diana touch my boobsearlier, Like they're so heavy.
(16:20):
Like I was like, do you guyswant to touch?
They're heavy, they're heavy,they're heavy and like they're
like hard right here, hard, okay.
Um.
Then the suctioning from thepump and the baby like makes
your nipples raw so they're justtender to the touch like it's,
it's, it's awful, yeah, and I'mglad that there are women out
(16:40):
there that really enjoy it and I, I applaud you because I don't
know or why yeah, I guess that'sthe thing.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It's such a unique experience for everyone because
we're all so different and wetalked about, like pain,
tolerance and things like that.
It's so, so different.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yes, yes um, but yeah , breastfeeding has been a trip
for me.
Um, I will continue to do it alittle longer okay I think I
want to go like up until threemonths and then maybe move him
to just formula and I I feelokay with it.
There are plenty of childrenthat are raised in formula and
they do just great.
I'm not going to allow myself tofeel any mom guilt, because one
(17:17):
of the things as a mother thatI got really good at was mom
guilt.
Did you get good at mom guilt?
It was like was mom guilt?
Did you get good at mom guilt?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
it was like instant, oh yeah instant mom, guilt like
mom guilt just came like it wasimmediately with the baby.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, you got baby, you got guilt.
Yeah, as soon as I saw itreally did.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Recent number 347 as soon as I saw that baby in that
nikki, I was like mom guiltimmediately.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It was my fault I did this to him.
I should have.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I should have taken better care of myself.
I should have had the sugar.
I should have done this if Iwould have walked more often, if
I would have like there was alist of things about why it was
my fault that this baby was inthe niki and, like you, are the
one that did it.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, it was my, was my fault.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
It was completely all my fault.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Sorry, we're just laughing in the background my.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
God, jerome and Diane are having a secret
conversation.
We want to know what'shappening.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
No, you guys are not cool enough.
Anyway, continue talking aboutyour mother, about your mother.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
We're going to have to edit so much of this.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
No, not even people enjoy this.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
People like this, not this this is provocative keep
talking about your tittiestitties hurt all the time, bro.
I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I remember that you had a little rant on Facebook
and like I saw that and I waslike oh my gosh, like I know I'm
not a mother and I don'tFacebook.
And like I saw that and I waslike, oh my gosh, Like I know
I'm not a mother and I don'tfeel it and I don't know what
that feels like, but like damn,it hurt me to like hear about
you hurting.
And then I clutched on my titsand I was like girls girls hold
on.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
You got this.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You got this.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Anyway.
I love how we went frommotherhood to titties.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I know, but don't feel guilty.
One thing I could say is don'tfeel guilty, you know.
You're right do you think kidsare born bad or created?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
oh man, what is it uh ?
Nature versus nurture uh-huh Ican't, I can't decide that yet.
I've thought about that mywhole life I think it's both of
them.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I think it has to be a little bit.
Yeah, I think so too yeah, sohow's your kid so far?
He's good, he better be good,he looks like a sweet kid yeah,
he's so cute, we're tired that'sanother thing, are you okay am?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I okay, um, I am okay now okay, I wasn't okay at the
beginning.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
I think the beginning was hard.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Um, postpartum is.
It's a.
It's a, it's a tough one.
Um, I don't have the I.
I didn't need my laptop.
No, it's okay.
But I was reading this thingabout how, like, your hormone
levels drop like I don't knowhow many hundreds of times when
you have.
Like like five days after youhave the baby, your hormones are
dropping a hundred percent orsomething like that than how
(20:19):
they were.
So that's why women feel theway they do, because, like you
have, that is like the most thebiggest drop in hormone there
ever will be in your body.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
After you have a baby , and that's why you're like.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Is that the?
Is that like postpartumdepression?
Is that that?
Is that like the start of it?
Or some could be the start ofit?
Yeah, because your hormones arelike at an all-time high when
you're pregnant and all of asudden it's like and I'm sorry
and we like know about this, butyet there's nothing being done
about this.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I don't know if there's much being done about it
.
I know I know that for me,because I do suffer from anxiety
that they did recommend my mymy doctor did recommend that I
kept myself in with my anxietymedication because that would
help my hormone levels.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Anxiety, um, after birth okay, so I did do that
okay, yeah, but unfortunatelyand I mean going back to the
mental health, uh kind ofconversation unfortunately it's
not very common for people totake care of themselves like
that, so a lot of times they maynot know what they're
experiencing.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The thing is like.
One of the things I realized isthat when you're a mom and I
wish we had a mic for her, nancycan you please move, my chair
doesn't move right now, I don'tknow why I'm stuck here.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
We'll have another mom episode.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Let me write it down but one of the things I did, uh,
realize is like, once youbecome a mom, like you start to
lose yourself in the baby, likeyou start to lose yourself and
I'm sure this happened to youyou have, you have to like
they're, they're giving you ababy to keep alive and you have
to focus on keeping this littleprecious soul alive.
And so you have to feed it, youhave to bathe it, you have to
(22:02):
focus on keeping this littleprecious soul alive, and so you
have to feed it, you have tobathe it, you have to change it,
you have to tend to all thebaby's needs and then your 24-7.
24-7 reason 348 and then yourneeds kind of just go on the
back burner and so like thereare times when you're like, oh
shit, I'm tired, but the baby'shungry but, I need to pump, but
I need to feed, I need to, Ineed to, I need to.
(22:24):
Baby needs, baby needs, babyneeds.
And I want to give a huge shoutout to my husband because,
honestly, I don't know howpeople can do this on their own.
I don't know how you can be asingle parent Like if you.
(22:44):
I know so many women that aresingle parents.
I or men or men, I, you guys,are amazing, You're superheroes,
you're, you're, you're the best, because I, I couldn't do this
alone.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
There's no way in hell that I could do this alone
I was thinking about that whenyou were talking how important
is to have like a really goodsupport system.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Luckily for you, you have your husband your village,
yeah your mom and us like we'rehere for you all the time all
the ts.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
But yeah, I can't imagine how difficult it must be
for people who have to do it ontheir own there.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
There's no way.
There's no way I, I could Ipeople figure it out.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah you have to right, you have to have to but
how exhausting.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Like jerome took three weeks off and he was so
great and he was like I got babythroughout the night you sleep.
You know what that did for mybody and for me.
Like it was amazing, like I.
I was allowed to rest rest andrelax and be there for baby and
be there for myself, like I knowa lot of women didn't get to
(23:47):
because my husband took over atnight and he was like I'm also a
dad and I'm also going to takecare of him and teach me like,
let's do this.
He doesn't like diaper changingand you know what, I don't care
because he does everything elsefor this baby.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I'll change all the diapers, like I'm not gonna
shame him like I don't care.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I will take all the diapers because this man stays
up with this baby and he takescare of him go jerome.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Yes, he's the best.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Get him on the podcast and if you're a dad and
you're not being supportive stepup, figure it out figure
yourself out please this is notokay it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Whenever we hear about I think we mainly hear in
dads when they have to babysitthe kids.
Oh yeah, like, oh, you have tobabysit your own child.
You're supposed to call itparenting.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You're parenting your own child.
I'm sorry, you're supposed tocall it parenting.
You're parenting your own childno, yeah, but I've heard that
yeah, I've heard it too.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
No, thank you interesting I hate that.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I mean, I have no knowledge about this, but about
being a parent.
But, um, I've had experienceswhen males are like, oh, I'm
ready to be a dad, and they tellme this and I'm like what?
And then I'm like, okay, butare you really ready to be a
father?
Like you say you're ready to bea dad, but like, are you ready
for the dad duties, like thefatherly stuff?
(25:14):
And then he unblocked me andthen he blocked me.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I'm like okay, so that was a no yeah, so I was
like he wasn't wanted to say, hetook the trash he took himself
out the trash I was like becausehe was ready for you to be a
mom, so he could just pretend tobe it exactly and I hate that.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
That happens very often exactly, and he gets the
title and he gets the cool dadvibes or whatever, but you
didn't raise the kid.
Motherfucker.
How the fuck?
I'm over here raging and Idon't even have children he's
still blocked.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
On behalf of all the single, all the single parents I
was okay with that.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
I okay, I don't like, I don't mind it I don't mind it
when people like me.
Yeah, I'm like, bye, see, ya,have a good day.
Bye anyways, he took, yeah, hetook himself out, but yeah I
think it's very stupid wheneverpeople um they're like oh,
you're babysitting the kidstoday.
Like I know, these are my kidsI'm taking care of my kids.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, yeah, you see your kids.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You, you take care of your kids yeah, what else have
you learned from tell us nowthat you have a baby with you?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I've learned um.
I've learned that I wasn'tready.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I don't think anyone's ever really ready I was
like I'm ready.
I'm 40 years old okay, yes, wetalked about, yeah, you having
kids since I met you, yeah Iwanted to be a mother since I
was like 25 like oh shit I wasready and then baby came and I
was like oh shit, what am Idoing?
Speaker 3 (26:45):
how do you do this?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I think life was like oh you wanted um I've learned
that there are so many goodpeople in this that I've been so
blessed to surround myself withreally, really good people that
really love me and have shownso much support for me and
(27:06):
Jerome and the baby.
Like I always get texts andpeople come, show up and just
hang out and good vibes and whenbaby was in the NICU I always
had people checking in on me andmaking sure I was okay, so I'm
really grateful for that.
I've learned I have really good, good, good people in my life.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I think this is a good time to say you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I am so glad to be part of your village.
I won't be changing diaperseither.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
You're not a real tia until you change diapers.
Suck my dick A dirty one too.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
No, I'm sorry I didn't do that with my nephew
You're not a real tia.
But here's the thing my momtook over.
She was like mine.
No, lo estás haciendo bien?
No, I didn't even try.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
She knew you weren't capable.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Exactly, she was saving the baby from you, not
you from the baby.
I was just a little girl, thisis last year diana what do you
mean?
Hold on he's eight years old.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
This is last year.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Figure yourself out, diana oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Um yeah, no, I learned.
I keep learning every day everyday I learn something new.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, um, what about?
I know one thing that a lot ofmoms have to talk about because
they get asked.
Something that I think not alot of dads get asked about is
work.
Do you have anything to sayabout that?
Like you know, I think a lot of.
I've heard a lot of moms beingasked about oh, how do you
manage to do both, or why do youchoose to do one over the other
(28:46):
, or which I think is somethingthat you don't really ask the
dad.
Yeah, yeah that's weird, so Idon't know.
Do you have any thoughts onthat?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I feel like for me I would love to be able to stay
home with baby, just because Iam older, having him and I don't
have that energy that I used tohave, and also like I don't
want to miss all the littlethings you know.
But at the same time Iunderstand that for a lot, of, a
lot of us it's not apossibility.
You know, like sometimes wejust have to go back to work and
you just have to just have todo what you have to do, right,
um?
So I think, if you're able,mentally also, it's draining to
(29:24):
be with baby all the time, likethere are times when jerome gets
home and I'm like I want to godrive around.
I need to get out of the houselike and jerome will stay with
baby, you know, because it'shard to be home all the time,
right I?
I want to go to the store.
Just like to clear my head, fora little bit by yourself,
that's good.
And so you looked at you likewhat.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Excuse me.
Excuse me, are you?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
trying to leave me with dad.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Who's?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
always trying to teach me things.
But yeah, I feel like ifmentally it feels good for you,
then I feel like just do whatfeels good for you, like, yeah,
for me it would feel good to behome, be able to stay with him.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, I think what feels good and what works for
your family.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Exactly, and your situation and your needs.
I suppose If you don't havekids, don't ask people too many
of those questions, Becausesometimes it's hard for mothers
to be like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
It's a tough conversation Because if I had
that conversation for me, itwould make me me sad, because I
feel like I'd be missing out onwork and like missing out on
promotions and stuff like that.
Um, so for me it would be adifficult conversation.
So yeah maybe just be a littlemore sensible when inquiring
about that.
Yeah well, sorry, don't bepushed.
No, no, no, well, this isdifferent, hold on all right,
(30:49):
shame corner don't be pushyabout those conversations.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Oh, that's true, it's real that I've heard a lot of
people ask women and not menyeah about that and I don't know
.
It's just so interesting.
A lot of the times they're not.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
You're not gonna assume that, as a man, you're
gonna stay and watch a baby likeyou're not gonna be a
stay-at-home father right youknow like that's the assumption,
but I know plenty of men thathave that.
Do it like my brother did itfor a while.
Yeah, um, it worked out for himand his wife like his little
family.
He was going to school whileshe was working and he was
staying with baby, and it justworked out yeah and one of my
(31:24):
really good friends.
Her husband's a stay-at-home dadand they it works out really
well for them right but I thinkpeople assume because you're a
father, you're, that's just notmany enough.
Yeah, you're just a providerand you're gonna go and right
work.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I hope it changes me too I like the idea of like
having a stay-at-home dad.
It's a different vibe you.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You think you would like that I would like that.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Yeah, I would, I would do it.
I would work, work bitch, makemore money, shmoney.
Well, here's the thing Men domake more money, unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Well, so I would.
Something that we need to fix.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Yeah, first let's call the US government.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
We have a couple things to talk about stop it.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Give me the attention that I need.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
No, I mean nancy.
What do you want?
Do you want to talk aboutsomething?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
else, we haven't seen each other in a while.
What should we talk about?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
uh, what is something ?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
that bothers me.
No, no, no, you know, we live ahappy life.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
This is everyone's favorite segment.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
you say it I want you to hear it from your words
welcome, whack witches I had todo it.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I had to do it what are we talking shit about today.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
What are we talking?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
what pissed you off?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
it's been a long time and one of our listeners said
that you should have a wholeepisode and someday we will have
a whole rant everything will beranting coming soon 2030 just
wait for it 2030 will be thealso the one asmr and her full
episode about diana yep exactlyshoot.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
That was supposed to be this year 2030.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You didn't get the memo about the.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
I didn't dang it, you guys.
Anyways, what pissed you off?
Um, today we're talking about Iknow you guys don't like to
hear about it, some of you do,some of you don't we're getting
political.
I know you guys don't like tohear about it Some of you do,
some of you don't we're gettingpolitical.
I don't give a fuck.
You suck my pee, pee Again.
Again, we are talking about theTikTok ban and the relief plan
(33:42):
that is attached to it 95billion, a 95 billy going
outside of the US.
This article says countries uh,we're gonna avoid that word
because some of it is going toisrael and gaza.
Um, we're just gonna talk shitabout them real quick.
By the way, no, I'm justkidding, I'm just annoyed, first
(34:04):
of all, that the first tiktok.
I don't really use it.
Good for people that do use it.
I think it's the dumbest ideato ban it just because it
doesn't meet the expectations ofthe us government well, because
they're not the ones gettingthe information from us exactly
they're getting it through everyother thing that we use exactly
(34:24):
, but not from that so they'regetting information from
facebook, they're gettinginformation from instagram,
basically part of it, they'remost likely getting a snapchat,
twitter x yeah yeah, I have tocover my phone, my phone
speakers, to make sure theydon't hear the stupid shit that
I'm saying all the time.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Cover it right now because, I know I'm doing it
right now.
The government's gonna comeafter you.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
How do I cover my laptop too, though wait,
someone's knocking.
Did you hear that Stop?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
CIA, cia, what Not that one?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Not that one.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
No, we're just.
Yeah, exactly.
They're not the ones receivingthe information, so they're here
.
So they either said you have tosell it within nine months, or
you have to, or it's going toget banned, it's going to get
shut down.
And I mean they want it to besold, most likely to someone in
the us, so they get theinformation from the users.
And I mean I don't like tiktok,but I do like the fact that it
(35:23):
shares a lot of information, alot of misinformation too, but
whatever you get the good withthe bad right, but it's sharing
a lot of information and peopleare not going to be able to
communicate like importantinformation within these apps.
And that's what the, thebiggest communicator, is right
now.
Right, right, and then the 29,the 99, the 95 billion.
(35:44):
First of all, do we not haveenough issues in the us?
Apparently not, apparently not.
We don't.
Is Apparently not, apparentlynot.
We don't.
I'm sorry, let's not take careof the veterans.
Yeah, let's just send the $95billion outside.
What?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
No, don't.
We have a homelessnesssituation.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
A pandemic.
I don't know if it's called apandemic or not.
We don't need any health care.
Yeah, we don't get any healthcare.
The food we don't get anyhealth care.
Uh, the food is becoming, Idon't want to say toxic, but I
mean there's all all these sortof issues with the food, um,
with viruses and bacteria andstuff like that.
We don't take care of that anduh, yeah, but here we are taking
(36:21):
care of other.
Let me take the other places itis.
Some of it is going to ukraine,I guess we'll give it to them
taiwan, israel, gaza and anotherplace.
But yeah, um, yeah.
So this is my little rant fortoday.
I wish we could isolate just alittle bit.
The us, so we should, you know,to take care of ourselves, to
(36:44):
maybe create a better healthcare system or actually create a
healthcare system and make itless private.
I feel like it is veryprivatized right now and that's
why they're they won't do it,cause they're making a shit ton
of money, um, but yeah, I reallywish we could isolate for a
little bit and just take care ofourselves first, before we
(37:04):
start taking it.
We will continue taking care ofother places and don't shut
down the fucking stupid app thatallows us to communicate and
talk shit about other stuff thatallows us to talk shit.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, exactly I mean obviously it serves a good
purpose to an extent I justhonestly, honestly, I just don't
see why it's such a big deal,like I mean, I get it, like I
get the political bullshit thatthey're talking about, but I'm
like a stupid app.
Yeah, like, really, like you'reso worried about it, like what?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
yeah it's just so dumb, I don't I yeah, I mean, I
guess I understand in the senseof like security, but, like I'm
saying, it's just becausethey're not the ones getting the
information, because we'regiving information to everyone,
to the government, all the timeyou have a phone.
If you have a phone with freeapplications.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Guess what you're giving it's not free information
.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yeah, it's not free.
You're just giving awaysomething else that you may or
may not know about yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So I think the issue is that it's just going to a
different country.
It's going to China.
It's going to China.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Do we like China?
Speaker 2 (38:16):
China as a country.
It looks beautiful.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It's a beautiful culture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Great.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I know we got to get us like quiet Walking on
eggshells here.
We don't want to get in trouble, huh.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Yeah, no, I don't want to get a knock from certain
government groups.
There's worse people out there,not me though.
I'm just a girl.
I'm just a girl.
Sometimes I have thoughts,opinions.
(38:57):
Sometimes I have opinions.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Sometimes yeah, sometimes I read those articles.
That's a problem for a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Let me tell you having a girl with opinions?
Okay, no, you don't have tiktok.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You have tiktok yeah, um, I was a tiktoker for a
while.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I posted like five things you need to keep going
with that because you're so good.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, thank you show me a tiktok dance.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Huh, tiktok dance I do anything, but oh no, no
dances, just because my nieceare not her niece.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
She's got old lady.
My knees are not healthy.
It's not just the knees, girl,you know what?
Speaker 3 (39:32):
Anyways, why did your career in TikTok end?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
As a TikToker.
I was a TikToker for a minute,but I just feel like I had to
focus on other things, you know,so I didn't invest enough time
she had to pursue herrelationships more.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I think it was taking a toll on her relationship, how
many Her family relationship topursue her relationships?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
more.
I think it was a toll on herrelationship.
Really, how many family andfamily relationships?
Speaker 3 (39:58):
all the relationships .
Yeah, you should check herphone where's your phone?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
nancy sen is very demanding.
This senior right here, yeah,she needs a lot of attention.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
So I'm sorry, I'm looking at both and I'm like
both of them do.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I'm just kidding.
We're not toxic here.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Not at all, not one bit um, I guess closing thoughts
on motherhood well, well, I'mglad we're back.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yes, I'm so happy to see you guys.
I've seen you and the baby.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yes, I'm glad to see you, diana.
Kind of Same.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Mutual.
I'm excited to start recordingagain.
I'm so happy for you and proudof you and Jerome.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
You guys have a beautiful baby.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
He's pretty cute.
We like him.
You're keeping the baby right.
Yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
We decided.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
As of today we're keeping him.
Almost two months in I feellike you had a good trial period
.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, I think so, even though he doesn't sleep
well at night and he doesn'tlike to be put down at all.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
What's the return method like?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
I don't know yet.
I didn't ask before the returnpolicy, the method.
What's the policy on these?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Is it a 30-day or 60-day?
Speaker 1 (41:22):
return, just kidding.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Does it have a lifetime warranty?
What if I used it already?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I don't know what happens.
Anyways, we're very proud ofyou.
You're proud of both of youguys congratulations.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I hope you have 20 more children I wish, I wish.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
I don't know if I'll have another one, but trust me
when I say that if I would havemet jerome many years ago, I
would have had like 12 hell.
Yeah, brother, I wish you guyswould have seen Gerald's face.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
He's like whoa.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
He's five, babe, five .
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Remember we're talking about hypothetical what
if children?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
He's still freaking out.
He's like no, no.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Not five.
He was freaked out about two,one and a half.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Absolutely not.
Ten years ago we'd be sittinghere, six kids up there minimum,
minimum, minimum.
Yeah, I believe it yeah, yeah,a pair of twins, oh yeah, that
would have been cool.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
What if that's like you're?
What if your next children?
That's why I don't know if I'mgonna have three kids.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like I was manifesting, twins for this one
go around, because I was likeyeah, you were I'm old and if I
can get twins and I'll have todo it again, yeah, but I
manifested twins so hard that ifI get pregnant again, I'll
probably have to or three orthree.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
I really did want triplets too.
Oh well.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I didn't know better.
Life happens.
Now I know You're like.
One at a time is fine, it'sokay.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Maybe just one more yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever works
out for you guys.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Any final thoughts from you, Diana?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I was going to say something bad.
I'm not going to say it.
It's going to be a bad word,but I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Good job, thanks.
Anyways, I do have a finalthought.
Um, go for it.
As somebody that just had ababy, I guess I didn't realize
and I did this often.
Um, I asked often people thatwere older and people that were
married if they wanted to havekids or what, when the kids were
coming and we had a little bitof trouble getting a baby or
getting to the baby, and it washard when people would ask us
(43:38):
hey, are you planning on havinga baby or what's the plan on
babies?
I know that a lot of the timesit doesn't come from a place of
like, mean or any bad, it's justexcitement.
But there are a lot of men andwomen just going through a lot
of problems or trouble when itcomes to with, when it comes to
babies and having babies ornavigating the idea of having a
(44:00):
baby.
Um.
So just be mindful of those, ofthose feelings for people.
A lot of people don't want tohave babies and that's okay.
You shouldn't have to explainwhy you don't want to have
babies, like you just don't wantto have babies, or you're
longing for a baby and you can'thave a baby, or you lost the
baby and you don't want to talkabout it.
Right, like, just don't pressthe conversations about children
(44:22):
, because there's so much behindit than just yes or no you know
, so, um, I think that's one ofthe things I really learned with
having a baby, and that's oneof the things I wish we could
change as a society I like it besensitive.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
Be courteous, be considerate, mind your own
business mind your own businessthat's my closing thought.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Mind your own business that was was my thought
, so technically you need yourown I well, you know what I'm
going to say.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Say it I miss you, nancy, love you.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, well, thank you for listening and welcome back.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yay, glad to be back, mother.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Yes, bye, bye, love you, welcome back.
Yay, glad to be back.
Yes, bye, love you.
Thank you for listening tolatina state of mind produced by
us, your awesome hosts, dianasenia and yancy.
Special shout out to jerome,our editor don't forget to
follow us on instagram at lsomunderscore podcast and on
facebook at latina state of mind.
Hasta la proxima.
this is latina state of mind, a podcast created by
latinas for all audiences, wherewe can share our experiences
about love, life and everythingin between.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofLatina State of Mind.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Woo, we're back.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What's up witches?
Oh wait, my bad Witches.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So this is Nancy, and I'm here with Vianna and Xenia.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
How are you guys?
Great, great, I missed you guysI miss you too.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's been a while.
I know we took a little breakand we're gonna be talking about
the reason why we took a littlebreak.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You know, we just wanted to take a break, we
needed it it's from each other,no, Todo menos flash.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
We were fighting.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
It was a physical fight.
Diana hit us.
Sounds about right.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We had a restraining order against Diana.
It finally dropped.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We're finally allowed to be in the same room.
Actually, we're all on Zoombecause, Jerome didn't drop his
side of the restraining order.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Jerome might even hit you.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Just kidding you guys , I would never do that.
Anyways, we were on maternityleave.
Yes, we were.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Who had a baby Me.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So we have a new member of Latina State of Mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yes, and he's perfect .
He is one of the producers.
Yeah, yep, he's a new editor,if you hear his squeaky noises.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It's because he's here Making sure that everything
runs smoothly.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He's the supervisor Talent manager, so we're very
excited we're new aunties, I'mthe fun one, obviously.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Who are you the favorite?
What are you His favorite?
That's debatable.
Anyways, hi, mom, hi.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Mom, mom, mom.
I know I know that's debatable.
Anyways, hi, mom, hi, mom, mom,mom.
No, I know, first mother's dayever.
Oh my god, I already gotemotional about it.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I already cried about it, yeah okay but, yeah, that's
completely understandable.
I'll just I understand this one, this crying about it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay, this one.
What do you mean?
If she cries next year, you'renot gonna understand.
Uh, no, she's gonna cry.
She cries next year, you're notgoing to understand.
No, she's going to cry.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
She cries for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
As a matter of fact, I showed up and I was sitting
there crying yes, because mynephew is graduating high school
, and I got an invitation andit's so sweet, and I was just
sitting there bawling.
This could be a littlepostpartum too, you would have
cried.
Yeah, I know it's a little bitof everything, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
So that's what we're here to talk about.
You as a new mother, especiallynew mother.
Yeah, what is it like it'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
First of all, let me tell you guys, baby, not due
till april 12th, um, but I hadbeen feeling pretty sick, like I
had gained a lot of weight.
I was really bloated, just likeI was um swollen, like my legs
and feet were double the size ofwhat they normally are, like.
Everything was just like it wasbad and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Isn't that normal it?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
is um, but to an extent.
To an extent, and I don't think, I don't think it was normal,
but it shouldn't be normal, atleast, but it is normal, a lot
of women swell towards the endum but um, towards the end I was
sleeping on a couch like Icouldn't lay down, like it was
just awful, it was really bad.
And then I started feeling likecramping, um, and I was like,
(04:10):
well, it's probably justsomething called braxton hicks,
which is like fake cramping isit like your body kind of
getting?
ready, ready for baby to comeand all that.
Um, how do you know the thingsshe's?
Just so smart, she's gettingready no, actually this is so um
.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I don't do this exactly like I'm taking down
notes.
Okay, don't do this, becausereason 345 you swell up you
swell up um.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But then I went to the hospital and we knew baby
was bigger than um, than what hewas supposed to be.
I had, uh, gestational diabetes, so that's why also one of the
reasons why baby was bigger.
But then when I got to the umhospital, I was diagnosed with
something called preeclampsiaand then, if you can google that
(05:03):
, yeah, I don't know what thatis um, and so my blood pressure
was really high and they werejust worried about what that
could do for baby and me.
And baby was already nine poundsand so he was way too big to be
in there.
So at nine, nine am, 10 am ish,they told us we were having a
(05:24):
C-section.
At 1 pm and we went from hey, Ijust need to check up and make
sure everything's okay to you'rehaving a C-section at 1 pm.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, and how early was that.
The due date was April 12th.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So here was some whole month and a week ahead, so
34 weeks.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Oh jeez, and I do have um definition of
preeclampsia, uh, formerly knownas toxemia.
Toxemia happens when you'repregnant and had and have high
blood pressure, too much proteinin your pee and also swelling
in your legs, feet and hands.
It can range from mild tosevere.
Happens late in pregnancy, um,though it can come earlier or
(06:02):
just after delivery.
The main cause of it, uh, theplacenta not developing properly
due to a problem with the bloodvessels supplying it oh, that's
scary.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, so it's a little scary then.
Um, baby had I'll get emotionalabout this one maybe had to go
to the I was just kidding.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You can get emotional about anything.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah, okay, stop baby had to go to the niki right
after he was born, um, and thenI had to have a c-section, so he
since he was a preemie, um,there was a lot of tests and
stuff that they needed to do forhim and I didn't get to hold
him for about five days and Ithink, out of all the experience
(06:44):
, I think that was the hardest,because you have this like dream
of being a mom and your dreamof being a mom looks like you
get a baby on your chest and youget to hold your baby and you
get to do skin to skin right,and I didn't, like I saw him, I
got to to hear him cry and thenthey took him and the next time
(07:05):
I saw him he had all theselittle tubes on him and we could
, we could touch him, but we Icouldn't hold him and that was
really hard and, yeah, that wasjust, I think, the hardest part
of it all.
And then I had to go to my ownroom without a baby and then you
can hear all the babies in theother rooms crying I'm so sorry
and I just remember longing tolike have this baby, because I
(07:28):
had been carrying this, carryingthis baby with me, yeah, inside
of me, for the last few monthsand now like he wasn't with me
and he wasn't near me, you know.
So it was like it was just sucha trip and it was just kind of
hard for me.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
That one was the hardest part of it because you
didn't have the usual experienceright like for example, that
you see on tv or something, orthe experience that you make up
yourself, you know you're alwayslike, um, oh, I'm gonna have a
baby and this is what's gonnahappen, or this is what's gonna
go down, um, and the thing islike nobody had.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I I didn't know until I spoke about this experience
that a lot of women have gonethrough c-sections, that a lot
of my friends had c-sections andhad preemies and had babies in
the nicu, and I was just likewhy didn't you talk?
about it like how come?
I didn't know, but I guess Iwasn't paying attention because
I was just assuming that it wasa beautiful birth fine and dandy
(08:23):
, but also, I feel like, becausesometimes we don't know if it's
inappropriate to ask I guess,depending on what kind of
relationship you have with yourfriends and also like this was
your first time having a baby.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
If you've never birthed a baby, then you don't
really know what kind ofquestions to ask unless, like,
the mom is willing to sharethose things.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So I really appreciate that you're so yeah
and I love you and I'm so proudof you yeah, but I mean now it's
just I can't believe baby'shere oh no, thank you for
holding our little diana's.
If you could see diana, she'sholding our little fingers
middle finger I'm holding.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I'm holding your index finger, I'm holding her
middle finger you like my middlefinger better.
I love it whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa.
I don't know what you'rethinking, but anyways, this is a
very sweet and emotionalepisode about motherhood.
I'm so happy no, but I'm gladthat you're talking about this
and I hope that um, I don't knowit opens up the conversation
(09:26):
for other mothers or otherexpecting mothers to like hey,
this may happen, it's verypossible.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, I think it's like it's OK to talk about
things that are difficult.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Obviously not everything is going to be
perfect all the time, or like wedon't think it's perfect, but I
mean it is perfect.
You have a beautiful baby, yeah, he came early so you get to
have him for longer than youexpected, like sooner, yeah, um,
so yeah, I don't know, I think.
Yeah, we really appreciate youropenness and willingness to
talk about it and, if it helps,eddie did come.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
My brother eddie did come in sooner, about a week,
about a month sooner, and heturned out okay, I think he
turned out.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I mean, he's here, he's alive and he's like healthy
and stuff yeah, he does wellthanks, diana, that does help a
lot you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
You know what's funny ?
Your son was born in the yearof the dragon.
Yes, and he's also a dragon, ohmy gosh.
So I don't know if that meansanything to you.
It means great things.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Do you like Eddie?
Yeah, he's really nice Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Putting me on the spot.
Do you like Eddie Knowing thathe listens?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, Hi, knowing that he listens.
Yeah, hi, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I do like you.
It's all right.
He likes himself enough.
He doesn't need other people tolike him.
Anyways, motherhood it's beengreat.
So far it's been good.
Um, it's been nice to talk topeople and share those
experiences.
Also, I've been learning howmany shitty comments people make
to you when you're a mother.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Wait, has it happened to you already?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I've got a lot of.
Well, at least your vaginadidn't get teared up.
What the fuck, what is it theirbusiness?
Like at least you didn't birthyour actual baby.
Like at least you had aC-section.
That was easier.
That's not fucking easier Likemy stomach got cut up and I
couldn't move for like a while.
And why are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
My vagina, first of all, like the whole birthing
process, whether it is throughC-section or through your VJJ,
is traumatizing.
Yeah, it's painful.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And it's a birthing process it's a birthing process
period.
I didn't even know that therewas such a thing like.
I was talking to one of myco-workers and she had two
c-sections and she's like, yeah,people have a lot to say about
people that have had c-sections,that haven't had natural births
like they.
They make it seem like it waseasier because you had a
c-section and I was like yourbody being cut up.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I don't think that's easier yeah, because the
recovery time is longer.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, but then apparently like the, the thing
that takes away from you beinglike a mother.
Well, no, quote, unquote yeah,um, or as people see it, is that
you didn't actually go throughthe actual pain of birthing a
child, yeah exactly right, butin in those people's minds you
didn't.
Well, they're wrong and I wasjust like they're wrong there's
(12:31):
drugs nowadays.
If you're going through thatpain, like what a lot of people
choose to have natural birthsand that if that's what you want
, that's good for them.
Like it was never in my lifeplan to have a natural birth
anyway, like I wanted all thedrugs.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Like yeah, that I have heard about that, like
people judging yes, if youdecide to have a, an epidural
yeah, and I mean it's justnobody's business, right, right
we've been talking for so longabout my body, my choice yeah,
this is another aspect of mybody, my choice exactly, and I
think that's one of the things Ilearned as a mother.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Like a lot of people are like are you gonna do
natural birth?
And I was like, why would I?
We've come so far exactly ifyou could, you would.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
If you want to go for it, if you want to go like I
don't.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
For me personally, I don't understand the going
through the pain, like itdoesn't make me feel like more
of a mother if I feel more painlike I feel like if that helps
other mothers connect more totheir children, then that's like
cool, that's good for you but Idon't that pain connection was
never a thing for me there's.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
No, there is a correlation, but there shouldn't
really be a correlation, andplus there's women out there
that can just uh, kind of pushthem out and pain tolerance is
so different for everybody, but,and then I mean, if we're going
to talk about it, the conceptof motherhood.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
You can use a surrogate and still be a mother
right or you can adopt and be amother, or you can have kids in
so many different ways, sothat's just hurtful to say yeah,
yeah there's a lot in um, wehave a friend here hanging out
with us who is a mother.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
That all of my life, um and I don't know if you got
any of these stupid comments,but I feel like a lot of the
times, just the way people talkto you after being a mom, like
even the biggest torture for mehas been right now uh,
breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding has been roughfor me.
Breastfeeding it was somethingthat I envision as this, like
(14:33):
poetic, beautiful bonding timewith my child and I was gonna
sit there and I was just gonnayeah, exactly look into my
baby's eyes and rejoice andsomebody said that shit hurts
and I was like no way, likethere's no way that that can
hurt so much.
Like such a beautiful process sobeautiful, like your body's,
(14:53):
creating nutrients for your baby, and I, you know, was so
delusional I will tell you thatthat shit hurts so bad.
Yeah, like I wasn't prepared forit, like I remember sitting
there being like, oh my God, Idon't want to do this anymore.
Like I don't want it.
(15:13):
The baby was.
It was harder for him to latchbecause he's he's premature, so
he doesn't like, he doesn't doit like he's supposed to, so
sometimes he just hurts mynipples and then I have to.
A lot of the times I have tolike what I've been doing is
pumping so that he, he has mymilk along with formula.
So I'm like breastfeeding andgiving him formula both.
(15:34):
But it's hard, it's really hard, and like you have to pump
every so often so that your milksupply doesn't die down.
You, if you want your baby tobe breastfed and like latch onto
your breast, you have to reallywork hard at it.
And then your nipples are rawand you still have nipples
(15:55):
barely any okay reason 346, butthose are the things like I
didn't know it hurts.
So like people say it hurts likeyeah some people told.
Some people told me yeah, itreally hurts, but you don't
understand why it hurts, like Ididn't understand why it hurt.
Like it hurts because, likeyour boobs are extra heavy.
I had Diana touch my boobsearlier, Like they're so heavy.
(16:20):
Like I was like, do you guyswant to touch?
They're heavy, they're heavy,they're heavy and like they're
like hard right here, hard, okay.
Um.
Then the suctioning from thepump and the baby like makes
your nipples raw so they're justtender to the touch like it's,
it's, it's awful, yeah, and I'mglad that there are women out
(16:40):
there that really enjoy it and I, I applaud you because I don't
know or why yeah, I guess that'sthe thing.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It's such a unique experience for everyone because
we're all so different and wetalked about, like pain,
tolerance and things like that.
It's so, so different.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yes, yes um, but yeah , breastfeeding has been a trip
for me.
Um, I will continue to do it alittle longer okay I think I
want to go like up until threemonths and then maybe move him
to just formula and I I feelokay with it.
There are plenty of childrenthat are raised in formula and
they do just great.
I'm not going to allow myself tofeel any mom guilt, because one
(17:17):
of the things as a mother thatI got really good at was mom
guilt.
Did you get good at mom guilt?
It was like was mom guilt?
Did you get good at mom guilt?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
it was like instant, oh yeah instant mom, guilt like
mom guilt just came like it wasimmediately with the baby.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, you got baby, you got guilt.
Yeah, as soon as I saw itreally did.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Recent number 347 as soon as I saw that baby in that
nikki, I was like mom guiltimmediately.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It was my fault I did this to him.
I should have.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I should have taken better care of myself.
I should have had the sugar.
I should have done this if Iwould have walked more often, if
I would have like there was alist of things about why it was
my fault that this baby was inthe niki and, like you, are the
one that did it.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, it was my, was my fault.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
It was completely all my fault.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Sorry, we're just laughing in the background my.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
God, jerome and Diane are having a secret
conversation.
We want to know what'shappening.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
No, you guys are not cool enough.
Anyway, continue talking aboutyour mother, about your mother.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
We're going to have to edit so much of this.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
No, not even people enjoy this.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
People like this, not this this is provocative keep
talking about your tittiestitties hurt all the time, bro.
I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I remember that you had a little rant on Facebook
and like I saw that and I waslike oh my gosh, like I know I'm
not a mother and I don'tFacebook.
And like I saw that and I waslike, oh my gosh, Like I know
I'm not a mother and I don'tfeel it and I don't know what
that feels like, but like damn,it hurt me to like hear about
you hurting.
And then I clutched on my titsand I was like girls girls hold
on.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
You got this.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You got this.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Anyway.
I love how we went frommotherhood to titties.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I know, but don't feel guilty.
One thing I could say is don'tfeel guilty, you know.
You're right do you think kidsare born bad or created?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
oh man, what is it uh ?
Nature versus nurture uh-huh Ican't, I can't decide that yet.
I've thought about that mywhole life I think it's both of
them.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I think it has to be a little bit.
Yeah, I think so too yeah, sohow's your kid so far?
He's good, he better be good,he looks like a sweet kid yeah,
he's so cute, we're tired that'sanother thing, are you okay am?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I okay, um, I am okay now okay, I wasn't okay at the
beginning.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
I think the beginning was hard.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Um, postpartum is.
It's a.
It's a, it's a tough one.
Um, I don't have the I.
I didn't need my laptop.
No, it's okay.
But I was reading this thingabout how, like, your hormone
levels drop like I don't knowhow many hundreds of times when
you have.
Like like five days after youhave the baby, your hormones are
dropping a hundred percent orsomething like that than how
(20:19):
they were.
So that's why women feel theway they do, because, like you
have, that is like the most thebiggest drop in hormone there
ever will be in your body.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
After you have a baby , and that's why you're like.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Is that the?
Is that like postpartumdepression?
Is that that?
Is that like the start of it?
Or some could be the start ofit?
Yeah, because your hormones arelike at an all-time high when
you're pregnant and all of asudden it's like and I'm sorry
and we like know about this, butyet there's nothing being done
about this.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I don't know if there's much being done about it
.
I know I know that for me,because I do suffer from anxiety
that they did recommend my mymy doctor did recommend that I
kept myself in with my anxietymedication because that would
help my hormone levels.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Anxiety, um, after birth okay, so I did do that
okay, yeah, but unfortunatelyand I mean going back to the
mental health, uh kind ofconversation unfortunately it's
not very common for people totake care of themselves like
that, so a lot of times they maynot know what they're
experiencing.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The thing is like.
One of the things I realized isthat when you're a mom and I
wish we had a mic for her, nancycan you please move, my chair
doesn't move right now, I don'tknow why I'm stuck here.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
We'll have another mom episode.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Let me write it down but one of the things I did, uh,
realize is like, once youbecome a mom, like you start to
lose yourself in the baby, likeyou start to lose yourself and
I'm sure this happened to youyou have, you have to like
they're, they're giving you ababy to keep alive and you have
to focus on keeping this littleprecious soul alive.
And so you have to feed it, youhave to bathe it, you have to
(22:02):
focus on keeping this littleprecious soul alive, and so you
have to feed it, you have tobathe it, you have to change it,
you have to tend to all thebaby's needs and then your 24-7.
24-7 reason 348 and then yourneeds kind of just go on the
back burner and so like thereare times when you're like, oh
shit, I'm tired, but the baby'shungry but, I need to pump, but
I need to feed, I need to, Ineed to, I need to.
(22:24):
Baby needs, baby needs, babyneeds.
And I want to give a huge shoutout to my husband because,
honestly, I don't know howpeople can do this on their own.
I don't know how you can be asingle parent Like if you.
(22:44):
I know so many women that aresingle parents.
I or men or men, I, you guys,are amazing, You're superheroes,
you're, you're, you're the best, because I, I couldn't do this
alone.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
There's no way in hell that I could do this alone
I was thinking about that whenyou were talking how important
is to have like a really goodsupport system.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Luckily for you, you have your husband your village,
yeah your mom and us like we'rehere for you all the time all
the ts.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
But yeah, I can't imagine how difficult it must be
for people who have to do it ontheir own there.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
There's no way.
There's no way I, I could Ipeople figure it out.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah you have to right, you have to have to but
how exhausting.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Like jerome took three weeks off and he was so
great and he was like I got babythroughout the night you sleep.
You know what that did for mybody and for me.
Like it was amazing, like I.
I was allowed to rest rest andrelax and be there for baby and
be there for myself, like I knowa lot of women didn't get to
(23:47):
because my husband took over atnight and he was like I'm also a
dad and I'm also going to takecare of him and teach me like,
let's do this.
He doesn't like diaper changingand you know what, I don't care
because he does everything elsefor this baby.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I'll change all the diapers, like I'm not gonna
shame him like I don't care.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I will take all the diapers because this man stays
up with this baby and he takescare of him go jerome.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Yes, he's the best.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Get him on the podcast and if you're a dad and
you're not being supportive stepup, figure it out figure
yourself out please this is notokay it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Whenever we hear about I think we mainly hear in
dads when they have to babysitthe kids.
Oh yeah, like, oh, you have tobabysit your own child.
You're supposed to call itparenting.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You're parenting your own child.
I'm sorry, you're supposed tocall it parenting.
You're parenting your own childno, yeah, but I've heard that
yeah, I've heard it too.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
No, thank you interesting I hate that.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I mean, I have no knowledge about this, but about
being a parent.
But, um, I've had experienceswhen males are like, oh, I'm
ready to be a dad, and they tellme this and I'm like what?
And then I'm like, okay, butare you really ready to be a
father?
Like you say you're ready to bea dad, but like, are you ready
for the dad duties, like thefatherly stuff?
(25:14):
And then he unblocked me andthen he blocked me.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I'm like okay, so that was a no yeah, so I was
like he wasn't wanted to say, hetook the trash he took himself
out the trash I was like becausehe was ready for you to be a
mom, so he could just pretend tobe it exactly and I hate that.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
That happens very often exactly, and he gets the
title and he gets the cool dadvibes or whatever, but you
didn't raise the kid.
Motherfucker.
How the fuck?
I'm over here raging and Idon't even have children he's
still blocked.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
On behalf of all the single, all the single parents I
was okay with that.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
I okay, I don't like, I don't mind it I don't mind it
when people like me.
Yeah, I'm like, bye, see, ya,have a good day.
Bye anyways, he took, yeah, hetook himself out, but yeah I
think it's very stupid wheneverpeople um they're like oh,
you're babysitting the kidstoday.
Like I know, these are my kidsI'm taking care of my kids.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, yeah, you see your kids.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You, you take care of your kids yeah, what else have
you learned from tell us nowthat you have a baby with you?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I've learned um.
I've learned that I wasn'tready.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I don't think anyone's ever really ready I was
like I'm ready.
I'm 40 years old okay, yes, wetalked about, yeah, you having
kids since I met you, yeah Iwanted to be a mother since I
was like 25 like oh shit I wasready and then baby came and I
was like oh shit, what am Idoing?
Speaker 3 (26:45):
how do you do this?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I think life was like oh you wanted um I've learned
that there are so many goodpeople in this that I've been so
blessed to surround myself withreally, really good people that
really love me and have shownso much support for me and
(27:06):
Jerome and the baby.
Like I always get texts andpeople come, show up and just
hang out and good vibes and whenbaby was in the NICU I always
had people checking in on me andmaking sure I was okay, so I'm
really grateful for that.
I've learned I have really good, good, good people in my life.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I think this is a good time to say you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I am so glad to be part of your village.
I won't be changing diaperseither.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
You're not a real tia until you change diapers.
Suck my dick A dirty one too.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
No, I'm sorry I didn't do that with my nephew
You're not a real tia.
But here's the thing my momtook over.
She was like mine.
No, lo estás haciendo bien?
No, I didn't even try.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
She knew you weren't capable.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Exactly, she was saving the baby from you, not
you from the baby.
I was just a little girl, thisis last year diana what do you
mean?
Hold on he's eight years old.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
This is last year.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Figure yourself out, diana oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Um yeah, no, I learned.
I keep learning every day everyday I learn something new.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, um, what about?
I know one thing that a lot ofmoms have to talk about because
they get asked.
Something that I think not alot of dads get asked about is
work.
Do you have anything to sayabout that?
Like you know, I think a lot of.
I've heard a lot of moms beingasked about oh, how do you
manage to do both, or why do youchoose to do one over the other
(28:46):
, or which I think is somethingthat you don't really ask the
dad.
Yeah, yeah that's weird, so Idon't know.
Do you have any thoughts onthat?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I feel like for me I would love to be able to stay
home with baby, just because Iam older, having him and I don't
have that energy that I used tohave, and also like I don't
want to miss all the littlethings you know.
But at the same time Iunderstand that for a lot, of, a
lot of us it's not apossibility.
You know, like sometimes wejust have to go back to work and
you just have to just have todo what you have to do, right,
um?
So I think, if you're able,mentally also, it's draining to
(29:24):
be with baby all the time, likethere are times when jerome gets
home and I'm like I want to godrive around.
I need to get out of the houselike and jerome will stay with
baby, you know, because it'shard to be home all the time,
right I?
I want to go to the store.
Just like to clear my head, fora little bit by yourself,
that's good.
And so you looked at you likewhat.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Excuse me.
Excuse me, are you?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
trying to leave me with dad.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Who's?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
always trying to teach me things.
But yeah, I feel like ifmentally it feels good for you,
then I feel like just do whatfeels good for you, like, yeah,
for me it would feel good to behome, be able to stay with him.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, I think what feels good and what works for
your family.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Exactly, and your situation and your needs.
I suppose If you don't havekids, don't ask people too many
of those questions, Becausesometimes it's hard for mothers
to be like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
It's a tough conversation Because if I had
that conversation for me, itwould make me me sad, because I
feel like I'd be missing out onwork and like missing out on
promotions and stuff like that.
Um, so for me it would be adifficult conversation.
So yeah maybe just be a littlemore sensible when inquiring
about that.
Yeah well, sorry, don't bepushed.
No, no, no, well, this isdifferent, hold on all right,
(30:49):
shame corner don't be pushyabout those conversations.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Oh, that's true, it's real that I've heard a lot of
people ask women and not menyeah about that and I don't know
.
It's just so interesting.
A lot of the times they're not.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
You're not gonna assume that, as a man, you're
gonna stay and watch a baby likeyou're not gonna be a
stay-at-home father right youknow like that's the assumption,
but I know plenty of men thathave that.
Do it like my brother did itfor a while.
Yeah, um, it worked out for himand his wife like his little
family.
He was going to school whileshe was working and he was
staying with baby, and it justworked out yeah and one of my
(31:24):
really good friends.
Her husband's a stay-at-home dadand they it works out really
well for them right but I thinkpeople assume because you're a
father, you're, that's just notmany enough.
Yeah, you're just a providerand you're gonna go and right
work.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I hope it changes me too I like the idea of like
having a stay-at-home dad.
It's a different vibe you.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You think you would like that I would like that.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Yeah, I would, I would do it.
I would work, work bitch, makemore money, shmoney.
Well, here's the thing Men domake more money, unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Well, so I would.
Something that we need to fix.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Yeah, first let's call the US government.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
We have a couple things to talk about stop it.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Give me the attention that I need.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
No, I mean nancy.
What do you want?
Do you want to talk aboutsomething?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
else, we haven't seen each other in a while.
What should we talk about?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
uh, what is something ?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
that bothers me.
No, no, no, you know, we live ahappy life.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
This is everyone's favorite segment.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
you say it I want you to hear it from your words
welcome, whack witches I had todo it.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I had to do it what are we talking shit about today.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
What are we talking?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
what pissed you off?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
it's been a long time and one of our listeners said
that you should have a wholeepisode and someday we will have
a whole rant everything will beranting coming soon 2030 just
wait for it 2030 will be thealso the one asmr and her full
episode about diana yep exactlyshoot.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
That was supposed to be this year 2030.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You didn't get the memo about the.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
I didn't dang it, you guys.
Anyways, what pissed you off?
Um, today we're talking about Iknow you guys don't like to
hear about it, some of you do,some of you don't we're getting
political.
I know you guys don't like tohear about it Some of you do,
some of you don't we're gettingpolitical.
I don't give a fuck.
You suck my pee, pee Again.
Again, we are talking about theTikTok ban and the relief plan
(33:42):
that is attached to it 95billion, a 95 billy going
outside of the US.
This article says countries uh,we're gonna avoid that word
because some of it is going toisrael and gaza.
Um, we're just gonna talk shitabout them real quick.
By the way, no, I'm justkidding, I'm just annoyed, first
(34:04):
of all, that the first tiktok.
I don't really use it.
Good for people that do use it.
I think it's the dumbest ideato ban it just because it
doesn't meet the expectations ofthe us government well, because
they're not the ones gettingthe information from us exactly
they're getting it through everyother thing that we use exactly
(34:24):
, but not from that so they'regetting information from
facebook, they're gettinginformation from instagram,
basically part of it, they'remost likely getting a snapchat,
twitter x yeah yeah, I have tocover my phone, my phone
speakers, to make sure theydon't hear the stupid shit that
I'm saying all the time.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Cover it right now because, I know I'm doing it
right now.
The government's gonna comeafter you.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
How do I cover my laptop too, though wait,
someone's knocking.
Did you hear that Stop?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
CIA, cia, what Not that one?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Not that one.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
No, we're just.
Yeah, exactly.
They're not the ones receivingthe information, so they're here
.
So they either said you have tosell it within nine months, or
you have to, or it's going toget banned, it's going to get
shut down.
And I mean they want it to besold, most likely to someone in
the us, so they get theinformation from the users.
And I mean I don't like tiktok,but I do like the fact that it
(35:23):
shares a lot of information, alot of misinformation too, but
whatever you get the good withthe bad right, but it's sharing
a lot of information and peopleare not going to be able to
communicate like importantinformation within these apps.
And that's what the, thebiggest communicator, is right
now.
Right, right, and then the 29,the 99, the 95 billion.
(35:44):
First of all, do we not haveenough issues in the us?
Apparently not, apparently not.
We don't.
Is Apparently not, apparentlynot.
We don't.
I'm sorry, let's not take careof the veterans.
Yeah, let's just send the $95billion outside.
What?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
No, don't.
We have a homelessnesssituation.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
A pandemic.
I don't know if it's called apandemic or not.
We don't need any health care.
Yeah, we don't get any healthcare.
The food we don't get anyhealth care.
Uh, the food is becoming, Idon't want to say toxic, but I
mean there's all all these sortof issues with the food, um,
with viruses and bacteria andstuff like that.
We don't take care of that anduh, yeah, but here we are taking
(36:21):
care of other.
Let me take the other places itis.
Some of it is going to ukraine,I guess we'll give it to them
taiwan, israel, gaza and anotherplace.
But yeah, um, yeah.
So this is my little rant fortoday.
I wish we could isolate just alittle bit.
The us, so we should, you know,to take care of ourselves, to
(36:44):
maybe create a better healthcare system or actually create a
healthcare system and make itless private.
I feel like it is veryprivatized right now and that's
why they're they won't do it,cause they're making a shit ton
of money, um, but yeah, I reallywish we could isolate for a
little bit and just take care ofourselves first, before we
(37:04):
start taking it.
We will continue taking care ofother places and don't shut
down the fucking stupid app thatallows us to communicate and
talk shit about other stuff thatallows us to talk shit.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, exactly I mean obviously it serves a good
purpose to an extent I justhonestly, honestly, I just don't
see why it's such a big deal,like I mean, I get it, like I
get the political bullshit thatthey're talking about, but I'm
like a stupid app.
Yeah, like, really, like you'reso worried about it, like what?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
yeah it's just so dumb, I don't I yeah, I mean, I
guess I understand in the senseof like security, but, like I'm
saying, it's just becausethey're not the ones getting the
information, because we'regiving information to everyone,
to the government, all the timeyou have a phone.
If you have a phone with freeapplications.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Guess what you're giving it's not free information
.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yeah, it's not free.
You're just giving awaysomething else that you may or
may not know about yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So I think the issue is that it's just going to a
different country.
It's going to China.
It's going to China.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Do we like China?
Speaker 2 (38:16):
China as a country.
It looks beautiful.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It's a beautiful culture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Great.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I know we got to get us like quiet Walking on
eggshells here.
We don't want to get in trouble, huh.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Yeah, no, I don't want to get a knock from certain
government groups.
There's worse people out there,not me though.
I'm just a girl.
I'm just a girl.
Sometimes I have thoughts,opinions.
(38:57):
Sometimes I have opinions.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Sometimes yeah, sometimes I read those articles.
That's a problem for a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Let me tell you having a girl with opinions?
Okay, no, you don't have tiktok.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You have tiktok yeah, um, I was a tiktoker for a
while.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I posted like five things you need to keep going
with that because you're so good.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, thank you show me a tiktok dance.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Huh, tiktok dance I do anything, but oh no, no
dances, just because my nieceare not her niece.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
She's got old lady.
My knees are not healthy.
It's not just the knees, girl,you know what?
Speaker 3 (39:32):
Anyways, why did your career in TikTok end?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
As a TikToker.
I was a TikToker for a minute,but I just feel like I had to
focus on other things, you know,so I didn't invest enough time
she had to pursue herrelationships more.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I think it was taking a toll on her relationship, how
many Her family relationship topursue her relationships?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
more.
I think it was a toll on herrelationship.
Really, how many family andfamily relationships?
Speaker 3 (39:58):
all the relationships .
Yeah, you should check herphone where's your phone?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
nancy sen is very demanding.
This senior right here, yeah,she needs a lot of attention.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
So I'm sorry, I'm looking at both and I'm like
both of them do.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I'm just kidding.
We're not toxic here.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Not at all, not one bit um, I guess closing thoughts
on motherhood well, well, I'mglad we're back.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yes, I'm so happy to see you guys.
I've seen you and the baby.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yes, I'm glad to see you, diana.
Kind of Same.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Mutual.
I'm excited to start recordingagain.
I'm so happy for you and proudof you and Jerome.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
You guys have a beautiful baby.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
He's pretty cute.
We like him.
You're keeping the baby right.
Yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
We decided.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
As of today we're keeping him.
Almost two months in I feellike you had a good trial period
.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, I think so, even though he doesn't sleep
well at night and he doesn'tlike to be put down at all.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
What's the return method like?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
I don't know yet.
I didn't ask before the returnpolicy, the method.
What's the policy on these?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Is it a 30-day or 60-day?
Speaker 1 (41:22):
return, just kidding.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Does it have a lifetime warranty?
What if I used it already?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I don't know what happens.
Anyways, we're very proud ofyou.
You're proud of both of youguys congratulations.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I hope you have 20 more children I wish, I wish.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
I don't know if I'll have another one, but trust me
when I say that if I would havemet jerome many years ago, I
would have had like 12 hell.
Yeah, brother, I wish you guyswould have seen Gerald's face.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
He's like whoa.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
He's five, babe, five .
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Remember we're talking about hypothetical what
if children?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
He's still freaking out.
He's like no, no.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Not five.
He was freaked out about two,one and a half.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Absolutely not.
Ten years ago we'd be sittinghere, six kids up there minimum,
minimum, minimum.
Yeah, I believe it yeah, yeah,a pair of twins, oh yeah, that
would have been cool.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
What if that's like you're?
What if your next children?
That's why I don't know if I'mgonna have three kids.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like I was manifesting, twins for this one
go around, because I was likeyeah, you were I'm old and if I
can get twins and I'll have todo it again, yeah, but I
manifested twins so hard that ifI get pregnant again, I'll
probably have to or three orthree.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
I really did want triplets too.
Oh well.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I didn't know better.
Life happens.
Now I know You're like.
One at a time is fine, it'sokay.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Maybe just one more yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever works
out for you guys.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Any final thoughts from you, Diana?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I was going to say something bad.
I'm not going to say it.
It's going to be a bad word,but I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Good job, thanks.
Anyways, I do have a finalthought.
Um, go for it.
As somebody that just had ababy, I guess I didn't realize
and I did this often.
Um, I asked often people thatwere older and people that were
married if they wanted to havekids or what, when the kids were
coming and we had a little bitof trouble getting a baby or
getting to the baby, and it washard when people would ask us
(43:38):
hey, are you planning on havinga baby or what's the plan on
babies?
I know that a lot of the timesit doesn't come from a place of
like, mean or any bad, it's justexcitement.
But there are a lot of men andwomen just going through a lot
of problems or trouble when itcomes to with, when it comes to
babies and having babies ornavigating the idea of having a
(44:00):
baby.
Um.
So just be mindful of those, ofthose feelings for people.
A lot of people don't want tohave babies and that's okay.
You shouldn't have to explainwhy you don't want to have
babies, like you just don't wantto have babies, or you're
longing for a baby and you can'thave a baby, or you lost the
baby and you don't want to talkabout it.
Right, like, just don't pressthe conversations about children
(44:22):
, because there's so much behindit than just yes or no you know
, so, um, I think that's one ofthe things I really learned with
having a baby, and that's oneof the things I wish we could
change as a society I like it besensitive.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
Be courteous, be considerate, mind your own
business mind your own businessthat's my closing thought.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Mind your own business that was was my thought
, so technically you need yourown I well, you know what I'm
going to say.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Say it I miss you, nancy, love you.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, well, thank you for listening and welcome back.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yay, glad to be back, mother.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Yes, bye, bye, love you, welcome back.
Yay, glad to be back.
Yes, bye, love you.
Thank you for listening tolatina state of mind produced by
us, your awesome hosts, dianasenia and yancy.
Special shout out to jerome,our editor don't forget to
follow us on instagram at lsomunderscore podcast and on
facebook at latina state of mind.
Hasta la proxima.
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