September 30, 2023 • 42 mins
Grief is a journey we all embark on at some point in our lives, and it's a journey we often experience alone. This episode is all about that journey. We've all experienced loss in some form or another—be it a loved one, a friendship, or a relationship—and we're sharing our personal experiences, from the numbness that grief can induce to how it can sneak up on us years later, triggered by something as simple as a memory, a fragrance, or a song. It's a raw, honest, and at times, heart-wrenching discussion about the never-ending process of grieving.
As we navigate through the complex labyrinth of grief, we shed light on the importance of patience and empathy, towards ourselves and towards others. There's a delicate balance between managing your own sorrow and being there for your loved ones, even when you can't fully grasp their emotions. And then there's the healing power of memories. Remembering our departed loved ones, keeps their presence alive, offering us a sense of connection and tranquility during tough times. We also explore how societal and cultural traditions can help us honor and remember them, bringing comfort.
The conversation then shifts towards a topic often neglected—men and grief. Society has imposed certain expectations on men when it comes to expressing emotions, often discouraging them from sharing their grief openly. We discuss the harmful consequences of this and underline the need for a safe space where men can express their feelings without judgment. The episode wraps up with a reminder that seeking help when coping with grief is a sign of strength, not weakness. We talk about the resources available, such as suicide and crisis lifeline, and encourage our listeners to reach out if they need to. Join us on this important conversation on Instagram and Facebook, where we continue to explore these topics beyond the podcast.
Music by DVNNIK
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created
by Latinas for all audiences,where we can share our
experiences about love, life andeverything in between.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Latina's State of Mind.
Hello, hello Hi ladies, how arewe doing?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Lovely Good After those quesadillas.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Senia's mom makes the best of the quesadillas.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
She was so cute.
Yeah, she was so cute.
Help me, help me.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
She gelled for us to call for with the quesadillas.
Yeah, that was from the bottomof the bag, so cute, oh my
goodness, yeah, so cute.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Anyway, today we're talking about an episode that's
going to be perhaps a littleheavy, a little difficult, but
we wanted to share with you thistopic because it's very close
to us and our hearts.
Yeah, we're going to be talkingabout grief, correct, yeah, and
(01:17):
I think we'll have differentperspectives and different
things that we're or we havegone through Grieved about
Exactly so yeah.
Where should we start?
Should we start by defining?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Let's start with defining it.
Grief is deep sorrow,especially that caused by
someone's death, but it can bethe loss of something friendship
, relationship a lot of things.
Something someone.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, I think I like that definition because we have
a lot of.
I think we all at one pointhave those grieving moments for
so many things.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, yeah, at least I don't know how to deal with it
.
I haven't dealt with it thebest way, but hopefully I can
get to a good point.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
A good, healthy way.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, I mean, it's so hard, grief sucks, you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Fucking painful, awful.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
At least for my experience, the grieving of like
losing my father has been, Ithink, the heaviest.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Like.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I've grieved relationships and friendships
and I remember being heartbrokenand just like remember thinking
like that hurt so bad.
But I remember when my dadpassed away I thought about
being heartbroken and I thoughtI would take a million
heartbreaks over this any day.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, it's interesting because it gives you
a different perspective.
I remember when my grandmapassed and it was the hardest
thing that I've had to deal with, in a grieving sense, and after
that, anytime I've had like abreakup or any situation like
that, I'm like this is not evenclose.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Like this, pain is not even close to what that was.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, I think so, my dad.
He passed away in Mexico.
He was in a car accident.
He fell asleep on the wheel andhit another car and he died on
his way to the hospital.
We couldn't find him becausethe place where he passed away
was very remote and theparamedics took his stuff like
(03:30):
they stole most of his stuff.
The only thing was, even thoughhe was hurt, he was so
responsible he called hiscoworker to tell him that he had
gone in a car accident and thathe wasn't going to make it to
work.
So that was the only reason whywe found out that he was in a
car accident.
And then he passed away in theambulance on his way to the
(03:53):
hospital.
And I remember thinking, okay,well, I'll find him.
I called every hospital that Icould ever think of.
I remember calling every policestation.
I googled all these places fromhere to Mexico.
I was looking in the wrongplace.
(04:15):
He was in the morgue and Iremember when my uncle called
and said, hey, he's gone and Ihad to call my brothers and I
had to give them the news.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
You got to do that yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm sorry and I heard just.
It was such a surreal momentbut since there was no body, I
was still hopeful that he wasnot dead and that they had made
a mistake and I was just theentire time I was like, no, it's
not him, it's not him, it's nothim.
And I think once I got the newsand my brothers were there and
(04:51):
they were able to recognize himand really confirm that it was
him, I feel like that's when mywhole world came crumbling down,
because my dad and I we weresuper close.
I was a daddy's girl.
Still I'm a daddy's girl.
I called him every day, twice aday, sometimes three times a
day.
I was always reminding him ofhis pills.
(05:13):
Whenever he was in town, I wasattached to his hip.
So it was heartbreaking, it wasso difficult.
I remember just being numb fora really long time and walking
around numb Like a zombie, likea zombie.
And work only gives you fivedays.
A breath.
A breath.
(05:33):
And I remember going back andthinking I don't what is life, I
don't need to be here, like I'mnot ready to be here After five
days.
Yeah, no.
Like I, just because it doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Right, nothing matters, like nothing mattered.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And I just remember there were times where I was
sitting at my desk just tearsrolling down my my eyes and I
just couldn't help it and Ididn't notice it and it was just
a smell, it was a and it's.
Somebody said it never goesaway, and I remember being like
I can't wait till it's a yearfrom now.
I can't wait till I'm not inthis current place where I'm not
(06:13):
hurting like this.
It's been six years and I cryabout my dad all the time and I
miss my dad all the time.
And sometimes it takes a song,sometimes it takes a smell of
word, it takes a lot Like.
Sometimes it's just watching mymom, my brothers, yeah, so
(06:35):
sometimes you can remember themwith this big old smile and say,
oh my gosh, he used to do this.
And sometimes you just fallapart because you miss them.
So grief sucked at thebeginning and grief sucks now,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
That was what asked never ending.
No, I don't.
I mean, I haven't been in asituation like that and I'm
sorry that you've been throughthat but, I don't think it's
ever ending.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It gets easier.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah, but it's, it's never it never goes away.
My mom lost her mom when Ithink it was 1995 and there are
songs that still come on andshe'll still cry.
Or she'll have a dream abouther and she'll still cry.
It's, yeah, it's never.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
yeah, that's true.
My grandma lost a kid to likesome sort of cancer and still to
this day she's almost 80 or sostill to this day she thinks
about her daughter, and the sameway she hears a song a more
eternal loses it, I can't listento the song.
(07:45):
I think that's everyone.
Right Kind of.
It's just so sad and it's so atleast for me.
It was very surprising, likeit's been decades.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It's still kind of freshly.
It still kind of hurts a lot,like if it was almost a fresh
pain sort of thing, and that'ssurprising how our brain kind of
messes you up that way, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And grief.
So in my process I learned andwe can talk about dealing with
grief, but I learned that theless you deal with grief, the
worse is for your physical body.
So I had an allergic reaction,like eight years ago, to a
medication where my hand swelledup pretty badly and the doctor
(08:31):
was like, oh, let's just do apanel of like all these
allergies to make sure thatyou're not allergic to like
gluten and all these things.
I wasn't allergic to anythingbut that medication and a couple
other things.
After my dad passed away, I wasin such a bad state of anxiety
and grief and all these thingsthat I was feeling terrible and
I just had this weirdbloatingness in my stomach and I
(08:52):
just like wasn't feeling good.
I developed celiac disease.
Damn Out of grief.
That's crazy.
Yeah, but you know so like yourbody responds to grief in so
many different ways that it canlike literally make you
physically sick.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Do you think it was because you weren't dealing it
out loud?
Yeah, and you were justinternalizing, internalizing and
your body said well, here yougo.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, here's the results of that I think it was a
little bit of that I think itwas just like so devastating and
so overwhelming that I didn'tknow how else to deal with it.
And at this point, like peoplealways say, oh, you know just,
you just have to let them rest.
You just have to let peoplerest and don't cry so much.
Like be strong, exactly, youjust got to be strong.
(09:46):
So then you internalize allthose things and you're just
like, okay, I got to be strong,but being strong never helped.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
No, you shouldn't have to put a front like that.
You know, feel whatever youneed to feel.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
But it's difficult because a lot of other people
need your support.
Yeah, it's easy to say.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I'm sorry, friend, thank you, I love you,
yeah, with my grandma I think Iwas more angry than anything.
She had breast cancer and thenit just spread all over her body
and it was really bad at theend.
She suffered a lot before shepassed and I always thought like
(10:33):
it's so unfair, yeah, like forsomeone who was such a good
person to go like that Uh-huh.
And then it kind of like mademe question then what's the
point of being good if you canend like that?
Yeah, so it puts life intoperspective.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, very, much so I feel like that's part of you
know.
The grieving process is like nomatter how you lose someone or
how you.
It puts so many questions inyour mind and like I remember
thinking, why did I have to bemy dad?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
like he was a good person.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You know like there's some terrible people that are
still alive.
Why are they still here?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It just feels so unfair.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Yeah, it just does feel unfair.
It's always the good peoplethat go first.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, and it feels terrible now to say or think
those things because you're likethat person is somebody's dad
and somebody's gonna miss themor you know.
But it just when you're in thatmoment of pain, like I think
you become kind of self-fair.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I don't.
I don't see a problem with that.
I mean I'm a selfish person,but I don't know.
I think it's okay to ask thosequestions.
Yeah, because it's I feel likea maybe part of your anger.
Yes, that you're like why, whythis, why that?
Why do I have to go throughthis?
Why did they have to go throughthis?
Why did I have to lose them?
I mean, it's it's tough to doit, but I think it's okay
(12:01):
because it's let go of thatanger and say it out loud.
Take care of it in that way, Iguess, and there's so many.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I don't know if you can look this up, but I know
there's a lot of stages of grief.
I remember going to therapy andlearning about how like it just
like people feel grief in somany different ways there's like
very many different stages thatyou go through when you're
grieving someone or something.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, there's five stages of grief denial, the
quote like this can't behappening to me, sort of thing.
Anger why is this happening tome?
Who is to blame?
Bargain in bargain I can't saythat word.
Bargaining, yeah, thank you.
Make this not happen.
And in return, I'll do X, y andZ.
(12:47):
Then comes depression and toosad to do anything.
And finally, acceptance I'm atpeace with what happened.
Yeah, I feel like I don't knowif I'd be able to get to that
point.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I went through all of them and my bargain one was I
still watch a show calledSupernatural and I always watch
them like bring people to life.
So I was like is there?
Like I literally Google if Icould bring someone back to life
.
And it was like, why am IGoogling this?
Like, how is this even like?
(13:20):
But I was so delusional at thatpoint and in so much pain that
I like I couldn't think straight.
Like I just wanted my dad back.
It didn't matter how, like, Ijust needed him back.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, you would have done anything except anything,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
It is.
It's it's a wild thing to thinkabout and I I'm going to sound
terrible, I always do.
I lost my grandma on my mom'sside.
I didn't have a greatrelationship with her and
towards through a lot of it, Idisliked her because the way
(13:56):
that she treated my mom.
I will never forget that, butstill I had to learn how to be
there for my mom and even thoughthat I didn't personally feel
bad for the death of my grandma,I did feel terrible that my mom
was going through this.
And I had to learn to somehowkind of I'm a very impatient
(14:18):
person.
I had to learn to be patient.
Yeah, because she, I'm aterrible person, you're not, I'm
not a terrible person, but Ihave a different way of thinking
things through and I move ontoo quickly and stuff like that,
and so for me it's very easy tosay, oh, just don't think about
this anymore.
And to I I had to bite mytongue so many times so I
(14:43):
wouldn't say that to my mom,because I'm like you know what I
don't want to make this worsefor her.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I want to make sure that she looks at me and she
says I'm, you know this is mymom.
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
This is my support.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I miss my mom and I just it's difficult but dang it.
I had to learn how to do thatand it's different for everyone.
And still to the stay.
I mean it hasn't been that long, but still to the stage.
She mentions it and I'm like inmy head I'm like come on, let's
just like move on.
And I'm like, but in realityI'm like I'm, I'm so sorry.
(15:15):
I'm sorry that you feel thatway.
I'm sorry that this, this ishow you feel.
I'm sorry, you know, for thememory and that all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So I'm proud of you for being there, because it no
like it's so easy for people to.
I was told so many times, somany times.
Oh, you know, the more you cryabout him you don't let him rest
in peace and like, the more youdon't is that a cultural thing?
I think so and like you just gotto move on and I remember being
(15:46):
like it's my dad.
I don't got to move on.
Like I can miss my dad for therest of my life and cry about
him for the rest of my life, andthat's just how that's going to
work.
And you did that for her.
You are letting her cry abouther mom, regardless of what
relationship was between you andher.
(16:07):
You're letting her grieve.
You're letting her feel youdon't have to understand, like
yeah, and I honestly don't, butyou choose to support and that's
all that matters.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, it made me think of something else too when
you were saying that and I,because when you lose someone
close to you like that, it hurts, obviously because you lost
them.
But then I imagine you canrelate, Sanya, but it hurts you
to see your mom missing herperson, your brothers missing
(16:40):
their dad.
It's like heartbreaking in awhole different level.
So it's the grandkids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so sad.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It really is.
I feel like it's it's lifealtering in so many ways.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yes, yesterday I think it was yesterday that I
cried about my dad Because mydad and my nephew Chase were
really close and my nephew istrying to get an Xbox and he's
been trying to hustle everybodyfor some money.
And I started crying because Iknow for a fact that my dad
(17:18):
would have picked him up, takenhim to Walmart and bought him
the stupid Xbox on the spot.
Yeah like no words, like Chasewould have not had to explain
anything.
And I cried because he doesn'tget that.
You know, he doesn't get toexperience my dad away.
And I cried because when I havea kid, my kid doesn't get to
(17:41):
experience my dad that way.
And I cried because I wish Icould have gone to Walmart with
him to buy the stupid Xbox formy nephew.
And so I've been helping Chasehustle some people.
So, we called his sister and shesaid she'd give him 25 bucks.
And we called his uncle and hisuncle was going to give him 50.
(18:03):
So we're up to 180.
No 160.
I think 160.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I got a dollar 161.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
So I'm helping my dad .
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes, I mean, yes, that is so unfortunate, it's
ridiculously sad and once again,I'm so sorry that you have to
go through that, because if I'mputting myself in my, in your
shoes and just thinking aboutthat, me getting married, the
starting of family and not beingable to share it with my dad
(18:40):
would break me, so shout out toyou for actually holding it
together.
Thank you, and I mean you're, Idon't know.
Just the memory being keptalive is going to be at one
point good enough.
Not right now, but I mean ithas to be even right now.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And you know, like, and you understand this, I feel
like with your grandma, you,there's probably things that you
wanted to do with her, that youdidn't get to do and I think if
you think about them enoughlike for me it's the whole don't
think about them, you don't letthem rest.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
It's so stupid and it's so annoying because I feel
like the more you think aboutthem.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
The more life you give them, the more, yes, you
keep their memories alive.
I tell Jerome about my dad.
All the time.
I play my dad's music aroundJerome, I always tell him oh my,
this is my dad's favorite song,or this, my dad's this, and my
dad would have loved this and mydad used to make a sandwich
like this, and so that, eventhough he didn't know he didn't
(19:42):
get to meet my dad, that in away, he gets to meet him through
me you know yeah that'sbeautiful.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
And I mean I'm pretty sure your dad has about him.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I think he picked him for me.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I think so too yeah sent him my way.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Do we?
Do we feel like they stay withus afterwards.
Is that kind of what we're in?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
memory, uh-huh.
But I mean spiritually?
I don't think so, but Icompletely believe in keeping
the memory alive of thisindividual.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't think energy ever dies.
That's a thing right.
Energy never dies.
And humans for energy and Ithink energy is always with us
and I think my dad's energystays with me and with my
brothers and with my mom.
So I don't think it's just amemory for me, like I think it's
(20:39):
more energy and maybe that'swhat spirit is.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
And I mean I feel like you having that feeling
kind of keeps me yeah, and itproves that yes, this, you guys
still with you.
Yeah, because if you didn'tfeel it, then if you didn't have
that then I wouldn't.
Exactly that thought process,like, oh, I'm gonna be sharing
this with my dad as well, then,yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah, I mean, I would like to believe that they are
with us in one way or another.
But I agree with you.
I feel like it's impossible notto think about them, like
you're basically lying toyourself if you think that you
can.
Yeah, and you're kind of goingback.
So yeah, I have a picture of mygrandma that's right above my
(21:29):
desk in my room.
So I wake up in the morning andI spy on her like good morning.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, I always.
I have a picture of my dad inthe in my car.
What is that?
Visor?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
The visor yeah my car .
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So every morning when I go to work I tell him good
morning, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I have a picture of my great grandma.
Yeah, I didn't get to well Imet her, but I was a baby when
she passed.
But I have a picture of her andI together and I do the same.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I feel like I love the other Los Muertos Day of the
Dead because I feel like Iconnect with it, like not only
just because my dad passed away,but before.
It was like my grandma, andlike people that I never got to
meet, like I always hope that itwas true that they do come
visit you that day, but you canhang out with them and even if
(22:21):
they're like in the movie Coco,you know, like whatever you may
imagine, like I like to thinkthat they're there.
So I think for me it's reallyspecial and I always try to put
up an altar just to like, maybe,if it's true, that they do show
up.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yeah yeah, I've started doing that as well.
Um, because, either way, thatlittle moment of delusion yeah,
exactly that little moment ofdelusion brings comfort brings,
brings peace you know, it may ormay not be true, it doesn't
matter to the overall, itmatters to you only.
But that little moment it'sgonna provide comfort and I, I
(22:59):
don't know, I think it's nice.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yes, I've never celebrated Day of the Dead and I
don't know if I would, but Imean I respect it and.
I understand why people do it.
I just think I've never grew updoing it, so it's not.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, no, I didn't grow up doing it either it
wasn't until later on in life.
Yeah, I knew about it, yeah metoo.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I started doing it after my grandma passed away and
we mainly did it for my dad andwe made sure that we had a
picture of her and flowers, andthen I asked him what her
favorite food was and for Day ofthe Dead, like we would put a
coke, because she loved to drinkcoke and she loved coffee, so
it always put coffee.
And so for my dad, how my momalways makes his favorite food
(23:42):
and my dad used to lovemarshmallows like really loved
marshmallows he could have awhole bag of marshmallows in one
sitting, so I always buy himmarshmallows and like little
orange gummies.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So yeah, I have to learn how to make pipian it's
like it's like a.
It's like a mole, but it's likea, like a red mole, and as I
have not made it with chicken,but that was my great grandma's
favorite food, so I have tolearn to make it from my altar,
(24:14):
but but yeah, same sentiment.
You know, I don't know it'staking care of that illusion.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Maybe try it this year yeah, I might do it.
Yeah, I could just be onelittle picture with flowers yeah
and whatever.
You know that she liked.
Yeah, drink, yeah, I might dothat.
You people better put tequilain my altar, because I'm gonna
be coming back for it every yeargirl, that's actually a good
(24:41):
question.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Let's talk about that .
What?
What would you want in youraltar?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
okay um tequila.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Tequila for sure for sure um tequila and bread,
because I couldn't have breadand like that's really good, so
at least you can have it in theafterlife.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I think I would want beer and pizza yes, um let's do
it same candy.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I like, uh like gummy candy and a martini a dirt a
gin dirty martini.
Please three olives on the pick.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Thanks, gerald wants chocolate and chocolate.
Any juice, okay.
What kind of juice?
Any sweet juice.
Mango juice is his favoriteokay, that's pretty delicious.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
All right, I like it.
Oh my gosh, for a quick moment,can I talk about?
Can we talk about the dealing,dealing with the grieving
process?
Yeah, um, do you want to shareyour experience?
I do have a resource here withme if you want me to share first
yeah, um, let me tell you,let's see, grieving was
(25:52):
difficult.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Um, after I've realized that I wasn't okay,
because I think I went throughthe process of being sad, not
accepting it, being angry I wasreally angry.
Um, then I realized, oh hey, thesinger is taking me into a
really dark place and I probablyshouldn't stay here for too
(26:15):
long and then you hit yourdepression, yeah, and I was in a
really, really dark place and Imany times thought about taking
my own life because I just wasso lost in that grief and I
didn't know how to pull myselfout of it.
Because I'm the feeling kind ofperson.
(26:36):
I can't be the person that says, oh, this is not happy, like
this happened, and I'm movingaway from it, I don't want to
deal with it, I don't know howto do that.
I have to deal with things.
So my way of dealing with itwas crying and eating, crying
and eating and I gained a lot ofweight and a lot of anxiety and
a lot of depression.
So I found a therapist and shehelped me understand the
(26:59):
different stages of grief.
She helped me understand thatme being angry at my dad was
normal, that being angry atmyself was normal, that feeling,
that guilt I was feeling,because there's so much guilt
that comes with grief as well,and people don't tell you that,
like there's all this whoa, Ishould have been there more, I
should have done this more, Ishould have spent more time, I
(27:20):
should have like, you know, it'stoo late.
Then it's too late and lifehappens and there's nothing you
can change.
Now you move on and try to bebetter.
That's what I learned.
But I really had to go totherapy.
I had to put myself on anxietymedication that helped a lot and
(27:43):
I had to give myself grace.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I think that was it, like I was being really hard on
myself, I was being really angry, so I had to really really give
myself grace.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I mean, it sounds understandable that you'd be
angry, but I didn't think aboutthe guilty part.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Yeah, I felt guilty about not calling him that day.
I was really because I wouldcall him every morning and I
thought if I would have calledhim at 6 AM he would have not
been in a car accident and hewould have still been alive.
And I blame myself for it for areally long time that's awful.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But yeah, just kind of piggybacking into that, do
you think your therapist kind ofallowed you to acknowledge her
pain?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
100%.
Yeah, she's awesome, but yeah,she helped me acknowledge the
pain.
She also helped me see where itwas coming from, like
understand why I feel likethere's just so much confusion
in your body and your soul whenyou lose somebody so close.
(28:48):
Now you don't even know whereit's coming from.
Like I feel like it comes fromeverywhere, like you're not
prepared for it.
I don't know if you had thesame experience.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, I feel like maybe I haven't dealt with it
completely, like maybe I shouldyou, and I are right, Fakeryl.
Yeah, it was a similar process,but I started with anger and I
think I stayed there for a longtime and then, because I was in
a really bad place, that led meinto a really bad relationship
(29:17):
and depression, but also that'swhen I started taking unto the
presence.
But yeah, I think, now that Ithink about it, maybe it's
something that I still have towork on.
I'm not fully there yet.
It's hard to talk, Like evenfor my sisters and I when we
talk about it.
It's hard to talk about itwithout crying.
(29:38):
Yeah, it's.
Yeah, I should work on it.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Self-awareness Keep coming back I know Crazy.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
No, I completely understand that.
There's me looking at thisresource right now and hearing
you talk about it and I'm like Istill may have someone resolved
issues.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Just like a little bit.
This is a tonsure though.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
But here I want to share kind of this short list of
how to possibly deal with thegrieving process.
I like it, and the first one isacknowledge your pain.
Very important, you know justrecognize that you're going
through something.
Accept that grief can triggermany different and unexpected
emotions Anger, guilt, that was.
(30:27):
It's different.
It's different from what youfeel.
Understand that your grievingprocess will be unique to you,
and I think this one's superimportant, because a lot of
people think they're puttingthemselves in the other person's
shoes.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
But mm-hmm, Let people grieve.
However they're going to grieve.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Yes, this one, and this is what you actually do.
So good for you.
Seek out face-to-face supportfrom people who care about you.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I love that.
Yes, yes, super important.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Support yourself emotionally by taking care of
yourself physically.
Yes, you know, now that I'mreading this, I'm like oh.
Let's do that a little bit andfinally, kind of one of the last
steps that it provides here,recognize the difference between
grief and depression.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Oh, that one's OK.
That's tough, yeah, I feel likemine led to depression.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
And I was stuck there for a long time afterwards.
I mean still working through it.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
It's a comfortable place to be.
Once you're there, it'suncomfortable, uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's safe?
Yeah, it's safe.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
You know what to expect Exactly, and it's
unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Right, wow, we're just like stage, so quiet.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, because is it time, oh my gosh it's time.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Time to add the pockets.
Yes, I think we're done.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
We're done with this topic.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Thank you for listening.
This has been a toughconversation.
Yeah, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But, she's like this has been a tough conversation, I
understand, but it's mad time.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You guys should see her smile right now.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
I think it's time for some of that Diana's daily show
.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
We're going to keep it light.
That makes no sense.
It's so light.
And today we're going to betalking about men.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Why, men why.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Part two.
I love this.
No, and I mean this kind ofsort of goes hand in hand with
the conversation that we'rehaving.
But men not sharing emotions,not complaining To one extent I
think it's OK to complain, justkind of get it out of your
system, sort of thing, it's OK.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Men, if you are listening to this podcast, it's
OK to feel and it's OK to talkabout feelings.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I love how you just made it simple.
It's OK to feel yeah, just keepit at that.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
That's it, feeling's.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
OK, yeah, feelings are OK.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Feelings are fine, they're normal, feeling's good.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Not sharing bad.
Oh sorry, I shouldn't be likethat, no, but I think it's very
unfortunate that society hasheld men to a standard that they
shouldn't, and they can'texpress themselves or be
emotional or complain becausejust the simple fact of being a
(33:37):
man I am raging with this topic.
Let it out, ok, so.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
I have four brothers.
My brothers are pretty awesomeand they share.
They share some stuff.
But, going back to grief, Ifeel like they just never really
wanted to talk up.
They still to this.
They don't want to talk aboutit.
They deal with it, of course,in their own way, and I feel
(34:04):
like there are so many timeswhere I just want to be like
guys I miss my dad, let's hugand cry about it and they're
like bro.
I don't want to talk or cryabout this, but I feel like it's
healing to cry about it and I'mhoping that they cry on their
own and I'm hoping that theyhave a safe space within their
spouses to share that.
(34:26):
But I know that there are menout there that don't even feel
like they have that safe spacewithin the relationship they're
in within their own family, andI have read that men don't have
the moral support that womenhave.
Like they don't.
We as women can tell each otheroh my gosh, this asshole broke
(34:48):
my heart and I feel a certainway, but men don't do that.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
They need to, they need to, and it's unfortunate
because, depending on the man,they're going to say oh my gosh,
you're such a pussy.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Get over it and that's OK, because you know what
Pussies are so tough, if youever hear that if someone else
tells you that, let them know.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Pussies are fucking tough, yes, no, but it's very
unfortunate and to your point.
I do hope that at least yourbrothers or anyone else you have
some sort of safe space.
I find a safe space.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Let's give men a safe space.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Thinking about what you were talking about before,
how you developed celiacsExactly, and you cried a lot, I
cry all the time they're notcrying.
I can't imagine how much theirphysiological selves are being
impacted by that, and it's justlike let's talk about the rate
of suicide in men.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Let's talk about the addiction, the alcoholism Like
and still after all of these,the things yes and they're not.
Oh, I'm so angry.
Love this society is teachingour men to just be manly man and
be tough.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yes To.
That's the thing.
We're not really defining itcorrectly.
It is tough to be able toexpress your emotions Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
It takes some major courage to go up to another
human being and say I need help.
I'm struggling and I reallyneed support.
Like that takes some guts and Iknow guys have them.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, so because they do it for everything else.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yeah, let's use them and let's be emotionally
supportive of each other,especially men especially men.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
This one is like Sanyas Delishit, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
No, didn't you hear me say Sanyas Delishit earlier?
Yeah, sanyas Delishit, I'm okaywith that.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I think this is a topic I'm super passionate about
, because I feel like there areso many good men out there.
Like they're terrible men outthere.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
But there are so many good men that are falling
through the cracks, that are notgetting the support they need,
that are not being listened to,that are feeling lonely and
committing suicide because theydon't have.
They don't see another option,exactly, and they shouldn't be
happening, like we should besupporting our men and helping
them out and bringing them up,and like just take care of our
(37:24):
human race Exactly and as awhole.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Not men, women, men or women or in between, but just
like as a whole.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
But don't you think?
I think, that if men were ableto share more and like have that
knowledge of feelings, thenthey would be able to support
women better in all thoseimportant decisions and like be
allies for us.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
They'd be more.
I think they'd be moreunderstanding.
Yeah, and honestly, sometimes alot of times, that's all we
need, there wouldn't be thispatriarchy, this toxic
patriarchy.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
I was listening to another podcast and they were
talking about how it was a guyand he was saying how.
Sometimes because this is howwe're, how we were raised as a
culture women don't like men whoare.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Emotional, because then they feel like they're not
men enough for them.
So that's a problem too.
Like we have as women and wehave to understand that it's a
normal thing to have emotionsand feelings and everyone can
express them.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Yes, you know the moment that I had a joint
conversation with one of mybrothers and he opened up and it
changed our siblingrelationship.
Yeah, and even though we weredrunk, it's fine.
Whatever, we were still able toshare what we were feeling at
that moment and from there on itchanged.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
And now he's more comfortable with sharing things
with me, and I'm so glad that heopened up even just a tendency
bit.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
He has an outlet now.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Somebody that he can.
Maybe he's not going to tellyou everything, but he's going
to share a little bit.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
That's going to take some of that pressure out.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
And I hope that I can continue doing that for him,
because life is tough Hell.
Yeah, we go through a lot ofthings, man, women and everyone
else Like let's just share it alittle bit.
I hope this helps.
I hope so too, men.
If the first person you go tois not supportive, go to the
next one.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yes, Send us a DM.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Well, it's supportive , we'll be.
We'll turn.
It will be as supportive as wecan.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And we have resources , we'll send them your way.
Hell yeah, you're not alone.
We love you, most of you Ifyou're nice and you haven't
broken anybody's brokenanybody's heart.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
No, I well never mind .
Anyway, start All right.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Let's go back to our discussion.
Close it up a little bit Anyfinal thoughts.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Don't.
Let's see, let's see.
Don't listen Whenever peopletell you oh my gosh, get over it
or do it this other way, don't.
Don't listen to them.
That's they're not helping youat all, they're just getting
worse.
So just try to ignore that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Or don't say that to anyone.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
And first of all, don't, don't put like a time
frame to anyone, to anyone'sgrief.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah.
Yeah just, I guess, berespectful of you know how
they're grieving, consider it,consider it and supportive, and
supportive Love that.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
The end Done.
We solved it.
Look at us.
The three of us could solve theworld, world problems.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I mean, give me the right resources and I'll do it
yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
As lonely as grief can feel because it can feel
really, really lonely yeah, youare not alone.
There's always somebody willingto help.
There's always somebody thereto listen.
Yeah, and whatever it is thatyou're grieving, whether it's a
relationship, a loved one, a pet, whatever it is that you're
(41:10):
grieving it's okay to cry aboutit, it's okay to be sad about it
, but it's also okay to be happyafter you've lost someone.
Yeah, that's important toremember.
There is life after, after youlose somebody.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Yeah, I'm sure it can be like a source of guilt yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Feel like you don't deserve to live after somebody's
lost their lives, but you do,and they would want that for you
, definitely do.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I'm just going to share the suicide and crisis
lifeline.
It's just 988 and you can textthat as well.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Text and called there you go, right.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Connect with people you trust.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Bye Thank you for listening to Latina State of
Mind produced by us, yourawesome hosts, diana, senia and
Nancy.
Special shout out to Jerome,our editor.
Don't forget to follow us onInstagram at LSOM underscore
podcast and on Facebook atLatina State of Mind.
Hasta la próxima.
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created
by Latinas for all audiences,where we can share our
experiences about love, life andeverything in between.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of
Latina's State of Mind.
Hello, hello Hi ladies, how arewe doing?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Lovely Good After those quesadillas.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Senia's mom makes the best of the quesadillas.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
She was so cute.
Yeah, she was so cute.
Help me, help me.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
She gelled for us to call for with the quesadillas.
Yeah, that was from the bottomof the bag, so cute, oh my
goodness, yeah, so cute.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Anyway, today we're talking about an episode that's
going to be perhaps a littleheavy, a little difficult, but
we wanted to share with you thistopic because it's very close
to us and our hearts.
Yeah, we're going to be talkingabout grief, correct, yeah, and
(01:17):
I think we'll have differentperspectives and different
things that we're or we havegone through Grieved about
Exactly so yeah.
Where should we start?
Should we start by defining?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Let's start with defining it.
Grief is deep sorrow,especially that caused by
someone's death, but it can bethe loss of something friendship
, relationship a lot of things.
Something someone.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, I think I like that definition because we have
a lot of.
I think we all at one pointhave those grieving moments for
so many things.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, yeah, at least I don't know how to deal with it
.
I haven't dealt with it thebest way, but hopefully I can
get to a good point.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
A good, healthy way.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, I mean, it's so hard, grief sucks, you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Fucking painful, awful.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
At least for my experience, the grieving of like
losing my father has been, Ithink, the heaviest.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Like.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I've grieved relationships and friendships
and I remember being heartbrokenand just like remember thinking
like that hurt so bad.
But I remember when my dadpassed away I thought about
being heartbroken and I thoughtI would take a million
heartbreaks over this any day.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, it's interesting because it gives you
a different perspective.
I remember when my grandmapassed and it was the hardest
thing that I've had to deal with, in a grieving sense, and after
that, anytime I've had like abreakup or any situation like
that, I'm like this is not evenclose.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Like this, pain is not even close to what that was.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, I think so, my dad.
He passed away in Mexico.
He was in a car accident.
He fell asleep on the wheel andhit another car and he died on
his way to the hospital.
We couldn't find him becausethe place where he passed away
was very remote and theparamedics took his stuff like
(03:30):
they stole most of his stuff.
The only thing was, even thoughhe was hurt, he was so
responsible he called hiscoworker to tell him that he had
gone in a car accident and thathe wasn't going to make it to
work.
So that was the only reason whywe found out that he was in a
car accident.
And then he passed away in theambulance on his way to the
(03:53):
hospital.
And I remember thinking, okay,well, I'll find him.
I called every hospital that Icould ever think of.
I remember calling every policestation.
I googled all these places fromhere to Mexico.
I was looking in the wrongplace.
(04:15):
He was in the morgue and Iremember when my uncle called
and said, hey, he's gone and Ihad to call my brothers and I
had to give them the news.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
You got to do that yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm sorry and I heard just.
It was such a surreal momentbut since there was no body, I
was still hopeful that he wasnot dead and that they had made
a mistake and I was just theentire time I was like, no, it's
not him, it's not him, it's nothim.
And I think once I got the newsand my brothers were there and
(04:51):
they were able to recognize himand really confirm that it was
him, I feel like that's when mywhole world came crumbling down,
because my dad and I we weresuper close.
I was a daddy's girl.
Still I'm a daddy's girl.
I called him every day, twice aday, sometimes three times a
day.
I was always reminding him ofhis pills.
(05:13):
Whenever he was in town, I wasattached to his hip.
So it was heartbreaking, it wasso difficult.
I remember just being numb fora really long time and walking
around numb Like a zombie, likea zombie.
And work only gives you fivedays.
A breath.
A breath.
(05:33):
And I remember going back andthinking I don't what is life, I
don't need to be here, like I'mnot ready to be here After five
days.
Yeah, no.
Like I, just because it doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Right, nothing matters, like nothing mattered.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And I just remember there were times where I was
sitting at my desk just tearsrolling down my my eyes and I
just couldn't help it and Ididn't notice it and it was just
a smell, it was a and it's.
Somebody said it never goesaway, and I remember being like
I can't wait till it's a yearfrom now.
I can't wait till I'm not inthis current place where I'm not
(06:13):
hurting like this.
It's been six years and I cryabout my dad all the time and I
miss my dad all the time.
And sometimes it takes a song,sometimes it takes a smell of
word, it takes a lot Like.
Sometimes it's just watching mymom, my brothers, yeah, so
(06:35):
sometimes you can remember themwith this big old smile and say,
oh my gosh, he used to do this.
And sometimes you just fallapart because you miss them.
So grief sucked at thebeginning and grief sucks now,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
That was what asked never ending.
No, I don't.
I mean, I haven't been in asituation like that and I'm
sorry that you've been throughthat but, I don't think it's
ever ending.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It gets easier.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah, but it's, it's never it never goes away.
My mom lost her mom when Ithink it was 1995 and there are
songs that still come on andshe'll still cry.
Or she'll have a dream abouther and she'll still cry.
It's, yeah, it's never.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
yeah, that's true.
My grandma lost a kid to likesome sort of cancer and still to
this day she's almost 80 or sostill to this day she thinks
about her daughter, and the sameway she hears a song a more
eternal loses it, I can't listento the song.
(07:45):
I think that's everyone.
Right Kind of.
It's just so sad and it's so atleast for me.
It was very surprising, likeit's been decades.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It's still kind of freshly.
It still kind of hurts a lot,like if it was almost a fresh
pain sort of thing, and that'ssurprising how our brain kind of
messes you up that way, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And grief.
So in my process I learned andwe can talk about dealing with
grief, but I learned that theless you deal with grief, the
worse is for your physical body.
So I had an allergic reaction,like eight years ago, to a
medication where my hand swelledup pretty badly and the doctor
(08:31):
was like, oh, let's just do apanel of like all these
allergies to make sure thatyou're not allergic to like
gluten and all these things.
I wasn't allergic to anythingbut that medication and a couple
other things.
After my dad passed away, I wasin such a bad state of anxiety
and grief and all these thingsthat I was feeling terrible and
I just had this weirdbloatingness in my stomach and I
(08:52):
just like wasn't feeling good.
I developed celiac disease.
Damn Out of grief.
That's crazy.
Yeah, but you know so like yourbody responds to grief in so
many different ways that it canlike literally make you
physically sick.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Do you think it was because you weren't dealing it
out loud?
Yeah, and you were justinternalizing, internalizing and
your body said well, here yougo.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, here's the results of that I think it was a
little bit of that I think itwas just like so devastating and
so overwhelming that I didn'tknow how else to deal with it.
And at this point, like peoplealways say, oh, you know just,
you just have to let them rest.
You just have to let peoplerest and don't cry so much.
Like be strong, exactly, youjust got to be strong.
(09:46):
So then you internalize allthose things and you're just
like, okay, I got to be strong,but being strong never helped.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
No, you shouldn't have to put a front like that.
You know, feel whatever youneed to feel.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
But it's difficult because a lot of other people
need your support.
Yeah, it's easy to say.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I'm sorry, friend, thank you, I love you,
yeah, with my grandma I think Iwas more angry than anything.
She had breast cancer and thenit just spread all over her body
and it was really bad at theend.
She suffered a lot before shepassed and I always thought like
(10:33):
it's so unfair, yeah, like forsomeone who was such a good
person to go like that Uh-huh.
And then it kind of like mademe question then what's the
point of being good if you canend like that?
Yeah, so it puts life intoperspective.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, very, much so I feel like that's part of you
know.
The grieving process is like nomatter how you lose someone or
how you.
It puts so many questions inyour mind and like I remember
thinking, why did I have to bemy dad?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
like he was a good person.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You know like there's some terrible people that are
still alive.
Why are they still here?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It just feels so unfair.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Yeah, it just does feel unfair.
It's always the good peoplethat go first.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, and it feels terrible now to say or think
those things because you're likethat person is somebody's dad
and somebody's gonna miss themor you know.
But it just when you're in thatmoment of pain, like I think
you become kind of self-fair.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I don't.
I don't see a problem with that.
I mean I'm a selfish person,but I don't know.
I think it's okay to ask thosequestions.
Yeah, because it's I feel likea maybe part of your anger.
Yes, that you're like why, whythis, why that?
Why do I have to go throughthis?
Why did they have to go throughthis?
Why did I have to lose them?
I mean, it's it's tough to doit, but I think it's okay
(12:01):
because it's let go of thatanger and say it out loud.
Take care of it in that way, Iguess, and there's so many.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I don't know if you can look this up, but I know
there's a lot of stages of grief.
I remember going to therapy andlearning about how like it just
like people feel grief in somany different ways there's like
very many different stages thatyou go through when you're
grieving someone or something.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, there's five stages of grief denial, the
quote like this can't behappening to me, sort of thing.
Anger why is this happening tome?
Who is to blame?
Bargain in bargain I can't saythat word.
Bargaining, yeah, thank you.
Make this not happen.
And in return, I'll do X, y andZ.
(12:47):
Then comes depression and toosad to do anything.
And finally, acceptance I'm atpeace with what happened.
Yeah, I feel like I don't knowif I'd be able to get to that
point.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I went through all of them and my bargain one was I
still watch a show calledSupernatural and I always watch
them like bring people to life.
So I was like is there?
Like I literally Google if Icould bring someone back to life
.
And it was like, why am IGoogling this?
Like, how is this even like?
(13:20):
But I was so delusional at thatpoint and in so much pain that
I like I couldn't think straight.
Like I just wanted my dad back.
It didn't matter how, like, Ijust needed him back.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, you would have done anything except anything,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
It is.
It's it's a wild thing to thinkabout and I I'm going to sound
terrible, I always do.
I lost my grandma on my mom'sside.
I didn't have a greatrelationship with her and
towards through a lot of it, Idisliked her because the way
(13:56):
that she treated my mom.
I will never forget that, butstill I had to learn how to be
there for my mom and even thoughthat I didn't personally feel
bad for the death of my grandma,I did feel terrible that my mom
was going through this.
And I had to learn to somehowkind of I'm a very impatient
(14:18):
person.
I had to learn to be patient.
Yeah, because she, I'm aterrible person, you're not, I'm
not a terrible person, but Ihave a different way of thinking
things through and I move ontoo quickly and stuff like that,
and so for me it's very easy tosay, oh, just don't think about
this anymore.
And to I I had to bite mytongue so many times so I
(14:43):
wouldn't say that to my mom,because I'm like you know what I
don't want to make this worsefor her.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I want to make sure that she looks at me and she
says I'm, you know this is mymom.
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
This is my support.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I miss my mom and I just it's difficult but dang it.
I had to learn how to do thatand it's different for everyone.
And still to the stay.
I mean it hasn't been that long, but still to the stage.
She mentions it and I'm like inmy head I'm like come on, let's
just like move on.
And I'm like, but in realityI'm like I'm, I'm so sorry.
(15:15):
I'm sorry that you feel thatway.
I'm sorry that this, this ishow you feel.
I'm sorry, you know, for thememory and that all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So I'm proud of you for being there, because it no
like it's so easy for people to.
I was told so many times, somany times.
Oh, you know, the more you cryabout him you don't let him rest
in peace and like, the more youdon't is that a cultural thing?
I think so and like you just gotto move on and I remember being
(15:46):
like it's my dad.
I don't got to move on.
Like I can miss my dad for therest of my life and cry about
him for the rest of my life, andthat's just how that's going to
work.
And you did that for her.
You are letting her cry abouther mom, regardless of what
relationship was between you andher.
(16:07):
You're letting her grieve.
You're letting her feel youdon't have to understand, like
yeah, and I honestly don't, butyou choose to support and that's
all that matters.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, it made me think of something else too when
you were saying that and I,because when you lose someone
close to you like that, it hurts, obviously because you lost
them.
But then I imagine you canrelate, Sanya, but it hurts you
to see your mom missing herperson, your brothers missing
(16:40):
their dad.
It's like heartbreaking in awhole different level.
So it's the grandkids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so sad.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It really is.
I feel like it's it's lifealtering in so many ways.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yes, yesterday I think it was yesterday that I
cried about my dad Because mydad and my nephew Chase were
really close and my nephew istrying to get an Xbox and he's
been trying to hustle everybodyfor some money.
And I started crying because Iknow for a fact that my dad
(17:18):
would have picked him up, takenhim to Walmart and bought him
the stupid Xbox on the spot.
Yeah like no words, like Chasewould have not had to explain
anything.
And I cried because he doesn'tget that.
You know, he doesn't get toexperience my dad away.
And I cried because when I havea kid, my kid doesn't get to
(17:41):
experience my dad that way.
And I cried because I wish Icould have gone to Walmart with
him to buy the stupid Xbox formy nephew.
And so I've been helping Chasehustle some people.
So, we called his sister and shesaid she'd give him 25 bucks.
And we called his uncle and hisuncle was going to give him 50.
(18:03):
So we're up to 180.
No 160.
I think 160.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I got a dollar 161.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
So I'm helping my dad .
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes, I mean, yes, that is so unfortunate, it's
ridiculously sad and once again,I'm so sorry that you have to
go through that, because if I'mputting myself in my, in your
shoes and just thinking aboutthat, me getting married, the
starting of family and not beingable to share it with my dad
(18:40):
would break me, so shout out toyou for actually holding it
together.
Thank you, and I mean you're, Idon't know.
Just the memory being keptalive is going to be at one
point good enough.
Not right now, but I mean ithas to be even right now.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And you know, like, and you understand this, I feel
like with your grandma, you,there's probably things that you
wanted to do with her, that youdidn't get to do and I think if
you think about them enoughlike for me it's the whole don't
think about them, you don't letthem rest.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
It's so stupid and it's so annoying because I feel
like the more you think aboutthem.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
The more life you give them, the more, yes, you
keep their memories alive.
I tell Jerome about my dad.
All the time.
I play my dad's music aroundJerome, I always tell him oh my,
this is my dad's favorite song,or this, my dad's this, and my
dad would have loved this and mydad used to make a sandwich
like this, and so that, eventhough he didn't know he didn't
(19:42):
get to meet my dad, that in away, he gets to meet him through
me you know yeah that'sbeautiful.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
And I mean I'm pretty sure your dad has about him.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I think he picked him for me.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I think so too yeah sent him my way.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Do we?
Do we feel like they stay withus afterwards.
Is that kind of what we're in?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
memory, uh-huh.
But I mean spiritually?
I don't think so, but Icompletely believe in keeping
the memory alive of thisindividual.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't think energy ever dies.
That's a thing right.
Energy never dies.
And humans for energy and Ithink energy is always with us
and I think my dad's energystays with me and with my
brothers and with my mom.
So I don't think it's just amemory for me, like I think it's
(20:39):
more energy and maybe that'swhat spirit is.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
And I mean I feel like you having that feeling
kind of keeps me yeah, and itproves that yes, this, you guys
still with you.
Yeah, because if you didn'tfeel it, then if you didn't have
that then I wouldn't.
Exactly that thought process,like, oh, I'm gonna be sharing
this with my dad as well, then,yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah, I mean, I would like to believe that they are
with us in one way or another.
But I agree with you.
I feel like it's impossible notto think about them, like
you're basically lying toyourself if you think that you
can.
Yeah, and you're kind of goingback.
So yeah, I have a picture of mygrandma that's right above my
(21:29):
desk in my room.
So I wake up in the morning andI spy on her like good morning.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, I always.
I have a picture of my dad inthe in my car.
What is that?
Visor?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
The visor yeah my car .
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So every morning when I go to work I tell him good
morning, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I have a picture of my great grandma.
Yeah, I didn't get to well Imet her, but I was a baby when
she passed.
But I have a picture of her andI together and I do the same.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I feel like I love the other Los Muertos Day of the
Dead because I feel like Iconnect with it, like not only
just because my dad passed away,but before.
It was like my grandma, andlike people that I never got to
meet, like I always hope that itwas true that they do come
visit you that day, but you canhang out with them and even if
(22:21):
they're like in the movie Coco,you know, like whatever you may
imagine, like I like to thinkthat they're there.
So I think for me it's reallyspecial and I always try to put
up an altar just to like, maybe,if it's true, that they do show
up.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yeah yeah, I've started doing that as well.
Um, because, either way, thatlittle moment of delusion yeah,
exactly that little moment ofdelusion brings comfort brings,
brings peace you know, it may ormay not be true, it doesn't
matter to the overall, itmatters to you only.
But that little moment it'sgonna provide comfort and I, I
(22:59):
don't know, I think it's nice.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yes, I've never celebrated Day of the Dead and I
don't know if I would, but Imean I respect it and.
I understand why people do it.
I just think I've never grew updoing it, so it's not.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, no, I didn't grow up doing it either it
wasn't until later on in life.
Yeah, I knew about it, yeah metoo.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I started doing it after my grandma passed away and
we mainly did it for my dad andwe made sure that we had a
picture of her and flowers, andthen I asked him what her
favorite food was and for Day ofthe Dead, like we would put a
coke, because she loved to drinkcoke and she loved coffee, so
it always put coffee.
And so for my dad, how my momalways makes his favorite food
(23:42):
and my dad used to lovemarshmallows like really loved
marshmallows he could have awhole bag of marshmallows in one
sitting, so I always buy himmarshmallows and like little
orange gummies.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So yeah, I have to learn how to make pipian it's
like it's like a.
It's like a mole, but it's likea, like a red mole, and as I
have not made it with chicken,but that was my great grandma's
favorite food, so I have tolearn to make it from my altar,
(24:14):
but but yeah, same sentiment.
You know, I don't know it'staking care of that illusion.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Maybe try it this year yeah, I might do it.
Yeah, I could just be onelittle picture with flowers yeah
and whatever.
You know that she liked.
Yeah, drink, yeah, I might dothat.
You people better put tequilain my altar, because I'm gonna
be coming back for it every yeargirl, that's actually a good
(24:41):
question.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Let's talk about that .
What?
What would you want in youraltar?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
okay um tequila.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Tequila for sure for sure um tequila and bread,
because I couldn't have breadand like that's really good, so
at least you can have it in theafterlife.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I think I would want beer and pizza yes, um let's do
it same candy.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I like, uh like gummy candy and a martini a dirt a
gin dirty martini.
Please three olives on the pick.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Thanks, gerald wants chocolate and chocolate.
Any juice, okay.
What kind of juice?
Any sweet juice.
Mango juice is his favoriteokay, that's pretty delicious.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
All right, I like it.
Oh my gosh, for a quick moment,can I talk about?
Can we talk about the dealing,dealing with the grieving
process?
Yeah, um, do you want to shareyour experience?
I do have a resource here withme if you want me to share first
yeah, um, let me tell you,let's see, grieving was
(25:52):
difficult.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Um, after I've realized that I wasn't okay,
because I think I went throughthe process of being sad, not
accepting it, being angry I wasreally angry.
Um, then I realized, oh hey, thesinger is taking me into a
really dark place and I probablyshouldn't stay here for too
(26:15):
long and then you hit yourdepression, yeah, and I was in a
really, really dark place and Imany times thought about taking
my own life because I just wasso lost in that grief and I
didn't know how to pull myselfout of it.
Because I'm the feeling kind ofperson.
(26:36):
I can't be the person that says, oh, this is not happy, like
this happened, and I'm movingaway from it, I don't want to
deal with it, I don't know howto do that.
I have to deal with things.
So my way of dealing with itwas crying and eating, crying
and eating and I gained a lot ofweight and a lot of anxiety and
a lot of depression.
So I found a therapist and shehelped me understand the
(26:59):
different stages of grief.
She helped me understand thatme being angry at my dad was
normal, that being angry atmyself was normal, that feeling,
that guilt I was feeling,because there's so much guilt
that comes with grief as well,and people don't tell you that,
like there's all this whoa, Ishould have been there more, I
should have done this more, Ishould have spent more time, I
(27:20):
should have like, you know, it'stoo late.
Then it's too late and lifehappens and there's nothing you
can change.
Now you move on and try to bebetter.
That's what I learned.
But I really had to go totherapy.
I had to put myself on anxietymedication that helped a lot and
(27:43):
I had to give myself grace.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I think that was it, like I was being really hard on
myself, I was being really angry, so I had to really really give
myself grace.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I mean, it sounds understandable that you'd be
angry, but I didn't think aboutthe guilty part.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Yeah, I felt guilty about not calling him that day.
I was really because I wouldcall him every morning and I
thought if I would have calledhim at 6 AM he would have not
been in a car accident and hewould have still been alive.
And I blame myself for it for areally long time that's awful.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But yeah, just kind of piggybacking into that, do
you think your therapist kind ofallowed you to acknowledge her
pain?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
100%.
Yeah, she's awesome, but yeah,she helped me acknowledge the
pain.
She also helped me see where itwas coming from, like
understand why I feel likethere's just so much confusion
in your body and your soul whenyou lose somebody so close.
(28:48):
Now you don't even know whereit's coming from.
Like I feel like it comes fromeverywhere, like you're not
prepared for it.
I don't know if you had thesame experience.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, I feel like maybe I haven't dealt with it
completely, like maybe I shouldyou, and I are right, Fakeryl.
Yeah, it was a similar process,but I started with anger and I
think I stayed there for a longtime and then, because I was in
a really bad place, that led meinto a really bad relationship
(29:17):
and depression, but also that'swhen I started taking unto the
presence.
But yeah, I think, now that Ithink about it, maybe it's
something that I still have towork on.
I'm not fully there yet.
It's hard to talk, Like evenfor my sisters and I when we
talk about it.
It's hard to talk about itwithout crying.
(29:38):
Yeah, it's.
Yeah, I should work on it.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Self-awareness Keep coming back I know Crazy.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
No, I completely understand that.
There's me looking at thisresource right now and hearing
you talk about it and I'm like Istill may have someone resolved
issues.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Just like a little bit.
This is a tonsure though.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
But here I want to share kind of this short list of
how to possibly deal with thegrieving process.
I like it, and the first one isacknowledge your pain.
Very important, you know justrecognize that you're going
through something.
Accept that grief can triggermany different and unexpected
emotions Anger, guilt, that was.
(30:27):
It's different.
It's different from what youfeel.
Understand that your grievingprocess will be unique to you,
and I think this one's superimportant, because a lot of
people think they're puttingthemselves in the other person's
shoes.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
But mm-hmm, Let people grieve.
However they're going to grieve.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Yes, this one, and this is what you actually do.
So good for you.
Seek out face-to-face supportfrom people who care about you.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I love that.
Yes, yes, super important.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Support yourself emotionally by taking care of
yourself physically.
Yes, you know, now that I'mreading this, I'm like oh.
Let's do that a little bit andfinally, kind of one of the last
steps that it provides here,recognize the difference between
grief and depression.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Oh, that one's OK.
That's tough, yeah, I feel likemine led to depression.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
And I was stuck there for a long time afterwards.
I mean still working through it.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
It's a comfortable place to be.
Once you're there, it'suncomfortable, uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's safe?
Yeah, it's safe.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
You know what to expect Exactly, and it's
unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Right, wow, we're just like stage, so quiet.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, because is it time, oh my gosh it's time.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Time to add the pockets.
Yes, I think we're done.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
We're done with this topic.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Thank you for listening.
This has been a toughconversation.
Yeah, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But, she's like this has been a tough conversation, I
understand, but it's mad time.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You guys should see her smile right now.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
I think it's time for some of that Diana's daily show
.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
We're going to keep it light.
That makes no sense.
It's so light.
And today we're going to betalking about men.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Why, men why.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Part two.
I love this.
No, and I mean this kind ofsort of goes hand in hand with
the conversation that we'rehaving.
But men not sharing emotions,not complaining To one extent I
think it's OK to complain, justkind of get it out of your
system, sort of thing, it's OK.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Men, if you are listening to this podcast, it's
OK to feel and it's OK to talkabout feelings.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I love how you just made it simple.
It's OK to feel yeah, just keepit at that.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
That's it, feeling's.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
OK, yeah, feelings are OK.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Feelings are fine, they're normal, feeling's good.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Not sharing bad.
Oh sorry, I shouldn't be likethat, no, but I think it's very
unfortunate that society hasheld men to a standard that they
shouldn't, and they can'texpress themselves or be
emotional or complain becausejust the simple fact of being a
(33:37):
man I am raging with this topic.
Let it out, ok, so.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
I have four brothers.
My brothers are pretty awesomeand they share.
They share some stuff.
But, going back to grief, Ifeel like they just never really
wanted to talk up.
They still to this.
They don't want to talk aboutit.
They deal with it, of course,in their own way, and I feel
(34:04):
like there are so many timeswhere I just want to be like
guys I miss my dad, let's hugand cry about it and they're
like bro.
I don't want to talk or cryabout this, but I feel like it's
healing to cry about it and I'mhoping that they cry on their
own and I'm hoping that theyhave a safe space within their
spouses to share that.
(34:26):
But I know that there are menout there that don't even feel
like they have that safe spacewithin the relationship they're
in within their own family, andI have read that men don't have
the moral support that womenhave.
Like they don't.
We as women can tell each otheroh my gosh, this asshole broke
(34:48):
my heart and I feel a certainway, but men don't do that.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
They need to, they need to, and it's unfortunate
because, depending on the man,they're going to say oh my gosh,
you're such a pussy.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Get over it and that's OK, because you know what
Pussies are so tough, if youever hear that if someone else
tells you that, let them know.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Pussies are fucking tough, yes, no, but it's very
unfortunate and to your point.
I do hope that at least yourbrothers or anyone else you have
some sort of safe space.
I find a safe space.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Let's give men a safe space.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Thinking about what you were talking about before,
how you developed celiacsExactly, and you cried a lot, I
cry all the time they're notcrying.
I can't imagine how much theirphysiological selves are being
impacted by that, and it's justlike let's talk about the rate
of suicide in men.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Let's talk about the addiction, the alcoholism Like
and still after all of these,the things yes and they're not.
Oh, I'm so angry.
Love this society is teachingour men to just be manly man and
be tough.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yes To.
That's the thing.
We're not really defining itcorrectly.
It is tough to be able toexpress your emotions Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
It takes some major courage to go up to another
human being and say I need help.
I'm struggling and I reallyneed support.
Like that takes some guts and Iknow guys have them.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, so because they do it for everything else.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yeah, let's use them and let's be emotionally
supportive of each other,especially men especially men.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
This one is like Sanyas Delishit, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
No, didn't you hear me say Sanyas Delishit earlier?
Yeah, sanyas Delishit, I'm okaywith that.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I think this is a topic I'm super passionate about
, because I feel like there areso many good men out there.
Like they're terrible men outthere.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
But there are so many good men that are falling
through the cracks, that are notgetting the support they need,
that are not being listened to,that are feeling lonely and
committing suicide because theydon't have.
They don't see another option,exactly, and they shouldn't be
happening, like we should besupporting our men and helping
them out and bringing them up,and like just take care of our
(37:24):
human race Exactly and as awhole.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Not men, women, men or women or in between, but just
like as a whole.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
But don't you think?
I think, that if men were ableto share more and like have that
knowledge of feelings, thenthey would be able to support
women better in all thoseimportant decisions and like be
allies for us.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
They'd be more.
I think they'd be moreunderstanding.
Yeah, and honestly, sometimes alot of times, that's all we
need, there wouldn't be thispatriarchy, this toxic
patriarchy.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
I was listening to another podcast and they were
talking about how it was a guyand he was saying how.
Sometimes because this is howwe're, how we were raised as a
culture women don't like men whoare.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Emotional, because then they feel like they're not
men enough for them.
So that's a problem too.
Like we have as women and wehave to understand that it's a
normal thing to have emotionsand feelings and everyone can
express them.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Yes, you know the moment that I had a joint
conversation with one of mybrothers and he opened up and it
changed our siblingrelationship.
Yeah, and even though we weredrunk, it's fine.
Whatever, we were still able toshare what we were feeling at
that moment and from there on itchanged.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
And now he's more comfortable with sharing things
with me, and I'm so glad that heopened up even just a tendency
bit.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
He has an outlet now.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Somebody that he can.
Maybe he's not going to tellyou everything, but he's going
to share a little bit.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
That's going to take some of that pressure out.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
And I hope that I can continue doing that for him,
because life is tough Hell.
Yeah, we go through a lot ofthings, man, women and everyone
else Like let's just share it alittle bit.
I hope this helps.
I hope so too, men.
If the first person you go tois not supportive, go to the
next one.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yes, Send us a DM.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Well, it's supportive , we'll be.
We'll turn.
It will be as supportive as wecan.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And we have resources , we'll send them your way.
Hell yeah, you're not alone.
We love you, most of you Ifyou're nice and you haven't
broken anybody's brokenanybody's heart.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
No, I well never mind .
Anyway, start All right.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Let's go back to our discussion.
Close it up a little bit Anyfinal thoughts.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Don't.
Let's see, let's see.
Don't listen Whenever peopletell you oh my gosh, get over it
or do it this other way, don't.
Don't listen to them.
That's they're not helping youat all, they're just getting
worse.
So just try to ignore that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Or don't say that to anyone.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
And first of all, don't, don't put like a time
frame to anyone, to anyone'sgrief.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah.
Yeah just, I guess, berespectful of you know how
they're grieving, consider it,consider it and supportive, and
supportive Love that.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
The end Done.
We solved it.
Look at us.
The three of us could solve theworld, world problems.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I mean, give me the right resources and I'll do it
yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
As lonely as grief can feel because it can feel
really, really lonely yeah, youare not alone.
There's always somebody willingto help.
There's always somebody thereto listen.
Yeah, and whatever it is thatyou're grieving, whether it's a
relationship, a loved one, a pet, whatever it is that you're
(41:10):
grieving it's okay to cry aboutit, it's okay to be sad about it
, but it's also okay to be happyafter you've lost someone.
Yeah, that's important toremember.
There is life after, after youlose somebody.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Yeah, I'm sure it can be like a source of guilt yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Feel like you don't deserve to live after somebody's
lost their lives, but you do,and they would want that for you
, definitely do.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I'm just going to share the suicide and crisis
lifeline.
It's just 988 and you can textthat as well.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Text and called there you go, right.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Connect with people you trust.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Bye Thank you for listening to Latina State of
Mind produced by us, yourawesome hosts, diana, senia and
Nancy.
Special shout out to Jerome,our editor.
Don't forget to follow us onInstagram at LSOM underscore
podcast and on Facebook atLatina State of Mind.
Hasta la próxima.
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