On this episode of the Latinas with Masters Podcast, Christina interviews Sergio A. Gonzalez, a Bay Area native and proud Joto, Latinx, feminist, hijo de a first-generation Madre and Mexican Immigrant Padre, jotería scholar, & activist. Sergio received a BA in Communication Studies from Manhattanville College in Purchase New York and a Master's in Higher Education/Student Affairs from USC and a Master's of Arts in Applied Gender Studies from Claremont Graduate University.
His purpose and power as a jotería scholar/activist, he focuses on co-creating counter-narratives of queer Latinx/a/o individuals within higher education and shares how he created his own network by applying and attending college with his homies! Sergio is currently a PhD candidate and through the lens of jotería pedagogy, he is deeply committed in elevating joteria vibes in higher education by centering his studies and academic career on the lived experiences of queer and/or trans Latinx/a/o graduate students. Check out his new book co-authored by Manuel Diaz, "Queering Higher Education: The QTPOC Experience" and follow Sergio @gsoulstar on Instagram and on Twitter @serxiogonzalez
Thank you all for the love and support!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hi, everyone. You're listening to that Tina's
wet Masters podcast like And subscribe and comment down
below. Thank you for listening.
(00:25):
Latinos with Masters podcast is a culturally minded podcast
created to inspire Empower and educate the rest, a comunidad
and future generation leaders. Navigate The Hard Knocks of
higher education hosted by me, Christina, Rodriguez, founder
and creator of Latinas with Masters MBA graduate and future
doctora pursuing. My doctorate degree in
(00:46):
educational leadership and on a mission to master diversity,
equity and inclusion, and belonging in the spaces, we all
live work and learn All while embracing and preserving newest,
I could do that. Like, And subscribe and follow
Latinas with Masters on all social platforms.
Thank you for listening to Latinas with Masters podcast and
I hope you enjoy the show. Hey, what's up everyone?
(01:15):
This is Christina Rodriguez, your host and creator of the
Latinas with Masters podcast andwe are starting off season 2,
episode 4 with our with our new guest said he'll Gonzalez and
I'm going to read to you his intro because it is super
powerful and it's, honestly, it comes from the heart, I can see
(01:36):
the passion and I can see his intentional, his intention with
his leadership and the way that he shows up authentically in all
spaces, He exists from the so this is his bio.
I exist from the core of who I am Hotel lionex feminist equal
the first generation Madre and Mexican immigrant bothered a
(01:59):
Whole 30, a scholar and activistas Lord.
States, I have come to believe over and over again.
That what is more important to me must be spoken made verbal
and shared even at the risk of having being it bruised or Miss
understood for this reason. My connection to hold the idea
(02:19):
derived from my experiences, navigating, the Ivory Tower and
trying to understand where I exist within that space as a
scholar activist, I focus on co-creating counter, narratives
of queer Latin, X Latina Latino individuals within higher
education. So it is to no surprise that
(02:41):
when I was stocking stereo. On Instagram and I was just
seeing all of its content him using the word, hope that idea
and we actually connected through a workshop that we did
and he was talking exactly like that.
That I was just like, oh shit, Igotta get this.
I gotta, I have to get him on mypodcast because that's exactly
(03:02):
the vibe and the energy that we need to continue to elevate in
higher education. So without further Ado, I want
to introduce to you my new one. Mono stereo Gonzalez, what's up?
Get this ball on the podcast, real likes talking you, I was
(03:23):
like, okay cool. Alright, I see that energy all
day. Thank you for having me.
I'm happy to be here. We were just talking before we
got on the recording that was like oh we were like both in
tune and like we're going to hiteach other up and then it just
it happens. I was like oh yeah because we
have been trying to do this for a minute but we've been hella
busy. So I'm happy.
(03:44):
That we have the time to do it now.
No. Absolutely.
Thank you so much for being on the podcast for sharing your
story with us. You know, we're going to dig dig
right in because as you know, the theme of this podcast, it
started off and it continues to be, you know, let's share our
experiences on how we got into higher education, right.
I don't have a quote unquote traditional pathway into higher
(04:07):
education. No I feel like it really exists
although there is this perception that there's a
traditional Pathway, we can talkmore about that, but I
definitely would love to hear more about your experience and
how you got to where you are today.
But first, I definitely want to start off with who is said,
(04:28):
he'll like, where are you from? Where your family's from?
Where did you grow up? Yeah, so so thank you.
So, let's see. I'm from the Bay Area.
So I'm always thinking from the Gay born and raised and grew up
in South City. So for folks who know This girl.
And then my mom looked to EPA. So he's Palo Alto.
And I was there for a bit in theG.
(04:50):
So, first shout-out to the G andyay.
And then we moved to Redwood City.
And so, in my mind, I guess my trajectory, right?
So I went from, so I went from, Willow Oaks Elementary to then
Fair Oaks Elementary in Redwood City in the hood.
And then did Middle School, Kennedy, Middle School and I
went to Sequoia High School. One of like the five public high
(05:12):
schools in the whole District. So, That's where I was at.
And it was during that time, I guess connecting at education,
right? Like, I don't know what I was
gonna do. I'm like, I'm first gen raised
by a single mom and like, my mom.
My mom was born in California, born and raised in California,
but she dropped out of high school.
And so there was never an expectation.
Like go to college and blah blahblah.
(05:33):
It was more so like you got to figure out your path, right?
So if you're going to be in school and be in school, if
you're going to be you know working then go work.
And I think for me like how I was always like a bookworm I
love being like reading and writing and so it just felt easy
to me and I joined college track.
So shout out to college. Track does nonprofit and they do
(05:54):
a lot of like college access. So I was at college track back
in the day when it was like a little, like Shaq, like one
Center and EPA it, if it's on Bay Road.
But they used to be across the street on Bay Road and it was
like so small and then they expanded that space where the
warehouses are and then they went across the street now, It's
(06:14):
where they're at, and it's like,all big and like, they've,
they've gone to like different states and stuff.
So, college track really? Like, put this like
college-going mentality, like you can go to college, you can
make it happen and like they helped me through the all of it,
the good, the bad, the messy, like they were there.
And I've never gotten Yvonne like like a parent should write,
(06:34):
like, because I would get in trouble, because I would like
messed up in class, but they were like down and they were
like, you're gonna go to collegeand we're going to help you get
to college. And they did, you know, I want
to go back real quick because you just you lived all over the
peninsula. Similar to myself.
I grew up in San Francisco. Daly City.
Then I went to the South Bay. I came back to South City so as
(06:56):
you know, people in South City, don't leave South City.
So that's actually very and we were just talking before here.
How? Like, we still have family that
lives in South Sadie and I love South Sadie.
South city was like a second home to me.
That's where my husband is from.A lot of people that I know from
South City area, Genuine and hardworking and down-to-earth.
So shout out to South city. That is my second home for sure.
(07:18):
But I love what you said that your parents or your mom, you
know, even though she didn't go to college regardless of that,
it was like you want to go to school, then go to school.
If you're going to work, then work.
And I noticed that with our parents, especially that were
first generation. I mean, I can go to my parents
right now and be like I dropped out, and even though they'll be
like, obviously, I don't want you to drop out.
They would like, okay, well, what do you want to do next?
(07:38):
And let's, let's go ahead and let's focus on the energy on
where you need to be where You want I've noticed that with our
parents that, you know, we look at you'll get it or, you know,
get things like that. I'm just kind of like wow.
Okay they're actually very supportive because I did have a
gap year and there was a time where I'm just like, fuck I'm
already making like 20 plus an hour.
Why am I going to get a bachelor's degree?
(07:59):
And my parents were like, okay, we'll see.
Do get it. That's fine.
You know I said, oh yeah, show up to work on, time be hard
work, or do this and do that. And then I realized, oh, I can't
get past his job, because they require a bachelor's.
All right, let me go back to school, then The shit out.
So I love how you said that. The other thing is EPA.
I mean, I honestly didn't know too much about EPA and so I
(08:22):
lived in Mountain View and I wasactually working at the Expo
Design Center that no longer exists.
But before I was like Coolidge apartments or Cooley Apartments.
Yeah. And so that when I was working
at the Home Depot Expo, Design Center, people that were working
in, there are from EPA and therewere like, oh, you don't even
know. This used to be the apartment,
(08:42):
has to be the hood. Hood and this and that.
And so it's crazy. How East Palo Alto has evolved.
Like, I definitely seen it involved with Facebook and all
of these, you know, other tech companies, moving in there.
But the heart of EPA like peoplethat are from EPA, those are
another group of individuals. My best friend from EPA hard
working, you know, like like yousaid like dang, you know, I grew
(09:05):
up in the hood, you know and then call US track came and kind
of helped me you know, navigate a space that I had no idea where
this was going to lead. To you.
No, no that's so real. And then I don't know if you if
you like remember this or knew about this but where the Four
Seasons is used to be Whiskey's goltz what they call that.
I think it'd be like halfway house, they used to be like Cabo
(09:29):
and I was there because my mom would go there for meetings and
stuff. So and college track used to be
there, okay? Okay like for like a year or two
and then they went to the spot on Bay Road where I started
going. So like Yeah, they used to be so
much. They used to be so much more
access to like Community kind ofstuff, right?
And then enter vacation was likewhat's up grilled cheese?
(09:51):
Dog became real on that. So so regard.
So with college track, do you think that is your earliest
memory of going to college? Or did you know, someone that in
your family or through an acquaintance or someone that
went to college? And then you're like, huh?
Let me see if that's something that it could be like when
you're older to not necessarily as an adolescent.
(10:12):
So I think Me. So like I guess to give context
right on both sides of the family.
Like here, like in the states, right?
We were like we were the black sheep because my parents were
like, you know, like being cabrones like both of them in
all respect for a like in Quran.Is so, like, on my dad's side we
were like, you know, like equalsthe, my dad.
So, like the black sheep and then my mom Sykes, my mom was
(10:34):
like, well, damn, very like, youknow, sick independent woman
like no one's going to tell me what to do Vibe.
And so I would hear like, on my dad's side, like I would, You're
of like older like cousins or d as in fields that were like, oh
we think, you know, school but it was never like we were never
close where I was like, it's impacting me right?
And I think for me it was definitely college track.
(10:57):
Like I remember my freshman year, my best friend Jaime and I
so shout out to high. Mannheim is a he's like the one
of the directors at the boys andgirls club right there.
And EPA, and in Menlo Park, and there's a lot of work around
really supporting students get into college.
So the whole application processtime it goes Through with them
when they get accepted figuring out where to go, right?
(11:18):
So like we're like we were both in college track like we're
living and eating and breathing this like how can we keep
empowering our hint there? Right.
And so call this track, I remember my freshman year.
I apply Hyman, I applied to it and we got accepted and they
were like we're going to teach you what what going to college
means a through G requirements. And I'm like, what's that,
(11:39):
right? Because I was at this time, I
was going to my guidance counselor at Sequoia High
School. She's trash and she kept trying
to get me out of like AP EnglishAdvanced.
Now, she's trash very trash, very much trash because that's
the senior out. Like, I would go in right to
like, oh, like let's meet for like, what am I going to take
(12:01):
next semester? And she was like, you need to be
taking ESL English. When I was a singer Advanced
English, she was like, you need to go into the academies,
programme, that was the vocational program and I was
like, but I'm taking like I'm taking geometry as a freshman.
I'm taking Advanced English, like I'm taking like, courses,
(12:21):
that like count for a through G and had it, not been for college
track because they were like also, like they were, they were
also like counseling. And they were like, if you take,
if you switch out of your classes and going to these
classes, you're not going to be College eligible.
You won't meet these a through Grequirements and other.
Well, that's what the council keeps telling me.
(12:42):
So I would have to like from that moment is when I knew that
like I don't know how to explainit right in understanding, this
was institutionalized, oppression and racism and all
this shit. All this stuff's he's me and and
I didn't have Burbage for it, but I knew that I was like I
want to go to college, right? Because College argue like you
can't go to college and you can go to.
(13:02):
There's all kinds of schools, you're going to learn about it
while you're here. And you were going to do your
homework here. We're going to provide SAT prep
and ACT prep. We're going to like pay for you
to go take the test. As we're going to provide you
scholarship money depending on your grades every like semester,
right? And so I would just have to go
just go off to school. Do your thing and learn what you
need to do. So, I used to, I used to write
(13:23):
notes and Forge my mom's signature and put myself.
I had a cell phone at that time.I'll put my cell phone number
down and I would say to the counselor, oh my mom says, I
need to be an advanced English in advanced math and advanced
science. So here's my mom's letter.
Okay. One.
Oh my God. There's a lot.
(13:43):
There's a lot to unpack here youguys.
So I wish I would have had that at least because I went to a
continuation school and my teachers I mean I love them.
They did the best they could with the resources that they had
and it's just you know and even though you're in a quote unquote
Traditional High School, they'restill experiences where students
(14:06):
of color are being held back, you know, like in your
situation, right. And the other thing that I want
to talk about Is parents, unfortunately are not given
information from the school, district of what their rights
are as parents. Like, I listen to this shit now
as a parent and I'm, you know, helping my kids, you know, in
(14:28):
grade school and then I'm like, wait, I have power.
Like, even me, I'm like, wait. So if I don't want my kid to do
that, they don't have to do it, you know.
And I feel like with us our parents, they send it to school
because they entrusted, Today inthe school district oil, sobbing
right, I would get a bad grade or the teacher to be like, oh,
Christina, look, he's always talking in class or she's always
(14:49):
interrupting. Oh my God, like, he get the
haciendo. You're not doing it, and I'm
just kind of like, it wasn't even like that, you know, and my
parents believed in me, but it was always, like, why is it
teacher gonna lie like, but Kayla when I see that soap or
NADA, right? So almost home.
Now, I tell my teachers and I tell the school, Know that I'm
(15:13):
always gonna believe my kid first.
So you better get your story straight.
You better figure it out becauseI find out.
Come correct, might lie what yousaid, we're going to have
problems, you know, but I love the school that my kids are at,
but I'm also, I also got to protect me and my kids and know
what our rights are as parents, you know, in situations like
that. No, it's real.
(15:35):
Like, like, same with me, right?Like my parents, my parents
didn't know any better. My dad was never.
My parents are divorced. Like my dad was never.
Really like involved in like thewhole process and my dad you
know, coming from from Jalisco, right?
Like he, he also dropped out like thinking like like Middle
School like he was like I'm doneI'm out.
I'm going to work and then he ended up in the Bay Area and my
mom, right? They had my older sister and I
(15:56):
had and they split so like he wasn't involved in like the
processes of like this is what it means to go to school and
this is what I want to do. Like I remember my senior year,
he was like I was like oh I likeI'm applying to colleges like
I'm going through the whole application.
And process college track is paying some of them have fee
waivers for others because like the best time to be broken when
(16:19):
you're applying to college. And my mom was broke.
We were on Section 8, we were onfood stamps and it was like,
this is the best because everything's fucking free right
now. Like, everything and I remember
he was like, what do you mean you're going to go to college?
Obviously in Spanish, but he waslike, we have the college and I
was like, yeah, I want to go to college and he was, I thought
you were just gonna get a job and work where I work, because
(16:40):
my dad works for the The garbage, the garbage company,
and in the city of San Franciscoand he was like, I just figured
you were just gonna get a job there.
And I was like, no, I want to goto school and he was like stuck
like why would you want to go toschool?
Yeah. Like very much like I guess I
don't understand it and and whatI went through the application
(17:01):
process, I got wait-listed at Cal Berkeley.
So I said y'all suck a few because that's where I wanted to
go. I got into SF state, I'm like I
think it was like a full ride Like some change or whatever.
And then I got into manhattanville college in New
York, a little liberal arts college.
You know, like not like a bed, right?
(17:21):
And I was like, I don't ever, I don't ever want to regret like
not going. Like I don't know what it's
gonna be like but I don't want to regret being like I could
have gone like a way, right? Like mind, you know, family like
so my best friend Angie and I hey Lika to she applied to a
couple schools in New York too and she got it we both got into
me. A handbill and she went to go
(17:43):
check it out during like you know the flying programs when
they try to create the long timeor something or in the
summertime or like you know whenyou get accepted the like come
and check out the come and checkout this cool blah blah blah.
So I was like based on what you say, I'll say yes.
Like if you're like I'm about itand I'm gonna go fa also.
Yeah, referral. We're yeah.
(18:04):
Yeah. I was like I'll say yes.
And let's go because, why not? And so we left.
And I remember when I said yes and I like I told Dad, he was
like. Look at that was here in New
York like getting my calluses. And I was just like that's where
I want to go. And he was like, I better
continue them because I'm not and very much was like you're
(18:26):
going to New York because you'redumb and you're going to get
into some trouble. And I'm not going to help you
when I'm gonna go fuck around and some shit.
Yeah. And I was just like, well, I'm
not really asking you at this point.
I'm letting, you know, I just submitted the deposit with my
scholarship money to, like, confirm really like intent to
enroll. Whatever its called I like.
(18:47):
So I'm just letting you know like I already made the decision
and I leave in August. So tell us about your experience
at was it called manhattanville?Yeah, manhattanville College.
Well it was really weird right because you know, being not
being in the from the Bay Area and and like, you know, being
broke. It's not like I was traveling
left and right and I got to knowthe world, right?
(19:08):
So like a, I was like, I don't know, New York like that one,
the world to us, right from New York.
That's the world right now. A Whole New World just like
what? Yeah, I've never been on a plane
for that long, right? Like I've never like I've never
I've never been a minority because I got to campus and I
(19:31):
come to find out. I was like one of like for
Mexicans on the whole campus andI was like this is so weird
because you know like coming from the bay where it's very I
mean it's very Mexican Centric so I think that was also like a
blessing in disguise for me, right?
So I get out of this. Mexican bubble and Mexican world
and see like this. And let me know some from all
over and this is what it's like.So, I loved it.
(19:54):
I was scared at first, right? Because it was like, shit.
We're in a whole new place and then I met like my best friends
to this day. So shout out to them.
So it's like, yeah, mati Danny, my roommate Darlene.
We call her Lolly, Jean-Marie. And so on Helicon, I had like
our group of friends and everybody was from somewhere
else. So like I'm not he's Puerto
Rican, Jenny's, Dominican and Ecuadorian from Um, the Lower
(20:16):
East Side Gym, Murray's from Washington Heights.
In is Dominican. LOL, he's from the Bronx and
Dominican. And so just like we just like
merged and it was like and I would always say, I think we
became friends because we're allfrom the hood and it was just
that like Zoop that connection and it was like, I got you got
my back and that's how we did it.
Like there was times when I get paid this week I'll like I got
(20:40):
us for the week to like by like whatever food we need to get.
And when you get paid next week,you got us for The food.
We need to get because we lived in like, like everyone lived in
the dorm for the most part. Yeah.
Right. Because it was a small liberal
arts college. So we had like 2,500 students
maximum amongst freshmen, sophomores, Juniors and seniors,
right? And so, it was like, we like I
lived on the dorms all four years and what I loved about it
(21:04):
for me, right? Because I'm the type command
below. Like, I'll be like, Oh, I'm
lost. And so, like I always reflect
now and I'm like, if I would have gone like let's say I would
have gotten accepted to Cal. If I would have gone to Cal and
I would have gone to those lecture halls, I would have
failed because I was in a class of 12 people and the profit
would be like, said, he'll call me by my name.
(21:26):
Keep you like said, he'll like, you weren't in class last week
and you're from California. So where were you?
Mike is not like you just dippedfor the day where were you?
Like what's going on, right? So like for me like I needed to
get checked and that kind of environment was very nurturing
to me, right? Because I was like, I need
attention, I need help, I need attention.
(21:48):
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm figuring this out as I go
and like being in a space like that, like I think you're really
cultivated and nurtured my mind and like I felt accountable to
people like I was like, I got togo to class because the prophet
knows me and they're going to belike, you didn't call Like you
didn't say you were going to be sick or bubble like you know,
you didn't annoy for master. You just dip.
So where were you? Yeah.
(22:08):
Yeah. That's not true.
Because I want to SS day in. There were a couple of classes
that were, like, Seminars, the teacher that I know if I did or
not. You know, like, that's what does
I'm like. Oh shit, I want to go to class
because I didn't go last time, but she ain't noticed at all
like and if, you know, but when you had those small intimate
ones, yeah, for sure. Hey Christina where were you or
a look? You, let's start off.
(22:29):
You start off the lecture and I'm like, yeah, I'm good thing.
I did my shit because it was Yeah, like winging it half the
time to you know. But but that is so true.
You know, you don't know what you need until you experience it
right to be like, wow, a I need you know, certain things
motivate you and that was your motivation, right?
Like, you needs to be checked like you said, so what did you
(22:49):
end up? Majoring in at manhattanville
like how did you know your majorthere?
Yeah. So like you know, you know as
the first gen Little Hook, people trying to figure out my
life. I thought I wanted to go into
psychology. So I took psych courses like the
first semester. Right.
And I was like, oh no I can't dothis, this is not and I was like
okay cool. Like I'm going to do more social
(23:11):
classes, right? And so she's cool like I've I
had with it but I wasn't like ohI love this.
Tampoco and then so that was like the second semester, right?
But the cool thing about my school's you could do a lot of
like General Ed kind of courses right to figure out what you
want to do and they were really good about like keeping you on a
timeline. Like because I was in and out in
(23:34):
four years, no summer school, nothing in and out.
I did my thing every semester and then like you graduate,
right? Which was something I didn't
think about either. I just was like, oh well this is
the environment that I'm in and so like we're all gonna like do
our stuff get to work past and like move on, right.
And so then sophomore year I started taking Communications
courses and I was like this is it, I found myself and so I did.
(23:57):
So I majored in communication studies and I doubled my nerd
and sociology and Lattimer. Studies volume rho nerdy reunion
with my stuff and, like, our eyes, the type of work, I'm
going to do right? But I loved it because I did a
lot of, like, a lot of like filmand photography courses, in my
communications major. So I was able to like, merge
(24:18):
that stuff together. So how did you decide to go into
graduate school like walk with us?
Yeah. How was that experience?
Because I feel like everybody has an experience where they
don't really, They don't really consider it until the last
minute and I say last minute as in like admission applications
are due like within a couple of weeks or like some people know
(24:41):
during undergrad, like yes, I want to go get my masters and
kind of start doing the work then and others are just like,
you know let me just see what happens and then not and then
just decide it's not for them. So walk with us how that came to
said. Yeah.
So so I I'm going to date myselfbut if I graduated and me 2008,
(25:03):
summer, like Amity and I'm like a Senora in my age.
So I graduated in May 2008 and Iwent, you know, like I don't
know what I was doing. I was just like I got to
college, excuse me, I got to college.
I'm going to graduate college but I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what like a career is.
I don't know. None of that.
Like I didn't prepare for any ofthat.
I was just like I did it. I graduated got a degree and I
(25:26):
went back to the bay. And at that time I was living
with my dad because I was only home for like Christmas or for
the summer, right? Because I was always in school.
So I basically live at his houseand And it was the peak of the
recession, I couldn't find a jobfor the life of me.
I'm talking. Like I would submit applications
(25:48):
the now that like Nava and I started getting frustrated and
my dad was like, penis kitagawa.Yeah, like like that after.
Like two months, right up. Like searching.
He's like, Dennis, get out of a hot.
And that was like, yeah. Basically, it was like, why did
you go to school? How did you get this piece of
(26:08):
paper, right? Because he was like, not, yeah.
For it. So he was on his leg on his high
horse about like what kind of vibe and I was like oh man.
And that was like I think such ahumbling like time and
experience because I started applying to like jobs like
Starbucks McDonald's to like retail jobs because I was like I
need to find some kind of job and it was just really hard.
(26:33):
And I fell into I fell into a part-time position at the Dior
counter at the Stanford ShoppingCenter at Macy's.
And I started working my way up and makeup because I was like,
I'm gonna make money and I left Macy's and I went to yeah.
Yes, I was like I'm gonna hustle, I'm gonna hustle, I'm
going to live and I was a makeupartist like counter manager for
(26:55):
Laura Mercier Cosmetics for likethree years.
And I was like, I was doing my thing making my money and I was
like on my grind cuz it's all hustles commission.
So you're like, let's go and I was like, this is cool, like I
can do this, I love being social, I love, you know.
No, I love makeup and I love playing with makeup.
I love being in this space rate,but I was like, I'm bored.
(27:18):
Like, like this, isn't get like,this isn't fulfilling me.
It's just, I clock in and clock out and I make my money and
that's when when high man. My best friend was like, oh,
college, track EPA is hiring forlike the like the assistant to
the site director position. Like you should apply because
(27:39):
you want to go into Ed. No.
And I was like, well. Yeah, yeah.
Cuz like, I always thought I wasgoing to avoid education because
I was like they treat teachers like crap and I don't want to be
a teacher and be and be treated like crap.
And so then I applied to the college our position and I got
it. And so I gave my two weeks and I
started working at college trackone year as the assistant to the
(28:01):
site director. So like I had all my little high
school career as as I like to call them.
And I would like, hey, go to your, you got to go to your
tutoring sessions. I had everything in order like
loud, pick them up from school. I would work with them.
I would talk to their parents. I was like the point person for
a lot of the Latino parents, right?
And EPA and then there was a position that opened up as a
(28:22):
college success, fellow to work with the students on the college
and for college track like National, right?
And so it was like all the sitesin the Bay Area, not just EPA.
So, I applied and I got it. And I worked there for four
years and I worked with Three ass as they like, went through
their processes and help them transition into college, you do
the whistle, and then I started applying to leadership positions
(28:44):
at college track and I kept getting denied because I don't
have a master's degree and boom.There it is, ladies and
gentlemen. There the the kicker out of
everything when people are, like, why should I get a masters
degree because there's positionsregardless of how much
experience you have. And it's unfortunate.
I'm not saying that it's right, but there's positions where
(29:05):
they're lying. And then you need a master's.
Yeah. So so I was like this is a like
you know, this is like me being like critically reflecting on
this. I was like college track is
problematic because I'm a product of college track.
I know the system really well. Like I work with these kids.
Like I know their parents like asked me about a student.
And I'll tell you about their parents, their siblings, if
(29:27):
they're in it, what school? They're at.
Like I it was very much like that's how interconnected we
were right. And so I was like This is why I
work and like this and like thismake this makes no sense like
college track, your being problematic because I'm a
product of the environment like of this, really, we're bringing
the yeah and I was like and you're hiring someone based on
(29:49):
like a piece of paper. Yeah.
For like Mitchell, angle for go like the fact that this was
happening. So I was like, okay, we're going
to play that. I'm gonna apply to masters
programs and I applied to the University of San Francisco's,
higher ed program. And I applied to the University
of Southern California's higher ed program.
And honestly, I was like, I'm not gonna get into USC because
(30:10):
they're like one of the top-ranked schools in the
country at that time for the higher ed program.
And I was like whatever blah blah blah.
Tell me when I get notified thatI got accepted after I thought
it was going to go to USF. Yeah I got accepted and I was
like again I was right back at that.
I don't want to regret not taking this opportunity.
Yeah Dan. What's up with the bag?
(30:31):
Not like you know like it was very folks some love year with
This is damn. And so, I was like, I told my
job in three months, I'm leavingbecause I'm moving to La, cuz
I'm gonna I'm accepting. I was like, I'm accepting the
Masters, the program, and I'm leaving.
I'm going to go to USC. Yeah, and I loved and I, and it
(30:54):
was in that time in that space, right?
Like like being out of school for so long, right?
Like coming back it was a lot oflike imposter syndrome during
that time. Like, I learned like I learned,
I learned, I had generalized anxiety disorder and I learned
that I had ADHD. What's generalized anxiety
(31:15):
disorder is this anxiety that like creeps up on you and it's
just like chronic like you're going through it and you're like
why am I why do I feel like hella nervous what I feel hella
anxious why am I getting like itwill show up as insomnia for me.
Yeah and I didn't understand whyI like I was like what's wrong
with me? Like why can't I fall asleep?
Like I'm taking melatonin he nowthat I'm trying to like take
(31:36):
Seeing Ava I'm trying to smoke another like I cannot all
asleep. Like what's wrong with me?
And that's when that's when I just I was like you know what,
I'm like, I went to the therapist and the therapist was
like you should get tested like psychological testing and I was
like, I've never done that because in my family that means
you're crazy. Like they don't.
(31:56):
It's not like a normal. Like let's figure out what's
going on and that's when I foundout they're like, yeah, you have
generally incisor, you have ADHDand based on what you're telling
me about your experiences and undergrad.
Like I was like I never knew that.
I just thought I was tripping during like final season and
then I would finish and keep it moving.
Or that's normal right? Well, that's normal.
(32:16):
Yeah, so now that you have now that you're in your master's
program, what is the experience from your Masters in your
undergrad? Did you because you went from
like being the only Latinos in the program you will see.
I don't know. Enough about USC, you know.
It's in SoCal where there's you know, very large.
Relation of Latinos. But what is the population of
(32:38):
Latinos on campus and in the program?
Yeah, so that's like, it's still, it's really white saw
like, well, you gotta tell you, it's like, even though you were
so even though USC is in, in theheart of South Central, like,
it's right there in south-central really close to
downtown, right? And it's weird, it's very much a
(32:59):
Latino Hood, right? And more Central American than
anything, because I've lived there until just recently
raised. So So a lot of Salvadoran your
folks which I love because like that's just, you know, I grew up
with those people in the beta cells to me was like, I know
this kind of vibe I can get withthis, you know, I'll be alright.
But inside can track. Once you get on campus.
(33:19):
It's very white. It's very elitist because, you
know, you will see Praises itself on like being like a top
institution, blah, blah, blah like and I didn't get that
because I'm like, I'm not from here and then it clicked that oh
USC is like they want to be likeStanford and then it's UCLA.
And like Cal Berkeley, right? So like like those vibes.
(33:40):
Like that's what it is in LA to UCLA and USC.
And in the bay, it's Berkeley and Stanford like.
So the elitism was like, very real and so, like, that's why
like, I went through a lot of like, Stress and Anxiety.
And so, I had to when I got tested, they were like Gods
because of abanazar. Well, yeah, because I'm
first-gen, I don't know what thehell to do in this master's
(34:00):
program. I haven't been in school in like
years and still like to go back and start writing papers all
over. Over again.
Like I don't know about this life so it was it was definitely
a process but like I did like I actively seek out Cooney that so
like I joined a fraternity in myfirst semester which I was like,
I'm so crazy like I would never go through a process.
(34:21):
I would never go through doing that again.
Because it was so time-consumingbecause I had two internships, I
was taking three classes and I was going through my process to
become part of a fraternity and I was like, there's like no time
to sleep and rest. You might think but I found my
comunidad. So like I stuck to that and then
(34:42):
I did my thing. Yeah.
That's what I was going to ask you next because I feel that at
least in my experience, undergrad and Masters graduate
program are very different. Yeah.
That's they have a diverse, right?
I know a lot of people there from the bay.
There's a lot of people from spoke out to and all over, but
like you said it's very diverse.I didn't have a problem, right?
(35:03):
It's like living in EPA South City, all that Afraid to say.
No. And then I went to my master's
program and I'm like, damn, not gonna beat up in here.
Like, what the hell? I didn't really trip off it and
then it wasn't until later on atyou, I figured out like what I
was searching for was a culture of belonging here, I'm saying
like I realize that I did need that letting me that like I
(35:24):
needed that you know community of Latin X individuals who look
like me who have shared experiences perspective of us.
Right? And so it sounds like you act,
you knew right away like hold upa second like I'm gonna need to
find something here if I'm goingto get through this program.
(35:46):
So like what advice would you give to someone?
If they're the only Latino Latina and eggs that are in a
master's program? Because I, that's probably one
of the things that I get a lot is, I don't want to be here.
I'm going to drop out. I'm the only lat Not the
program. This and that is just.
So disheartening of how common that statement is as like boils
(36:06):
my blood. No, that's so real.
So I think what I would say, youknow, and like not to offend
anybody, but if you believe in like therapy, go to like, go to
therapy because that's one thingthat I did, when I started was,
I was like, oh, I'm going to start going to therapy because
something tells me that I'm going to be like, yeah, I'm
going to be going through some ups and downs so therapy, right?
(36:28):
And then like, I I made the callto be like, let me go get tested
and figure out like I took advantage of that resource,
right? I wasn't, I was look.
I looked for Community outside of my program.
Yes, there were like Latinos Latinas in line next folks in my
program, but it was like really small.
So, I honestly like, it was, it was me who know there was a
(36:51):
couple and so, like, the black and brown kids got together
based. Yeah, I was about to say that
and so like my my Master's experience was Me and like my
homies and we were like Latino like next Latina or black and
like we it was like we would ride and die together, take the
classes together. If we could and support each
other on campus, like we would go to the cultural centers
(37:13):
because I worked at the LGBT Resource Center as I would have
liked my internships because in the hired program, you do a lot
of like, little internships like, gain experience.
And I would be like, oh, I have access to get into the space
after hours, so let's Y'all wantto come to campus and let's go
to the lgbtq resource center anddo work.
(37:33):
So, like my fraternity brothers would come with me, sometimes,
my cohort mates would come with me.
I've nowhere to go to, like, theblack student union, which is
on, like, the fifth, or sixth floor, because someone had
access to one of the conference rooms.
And like, that's where we were applying to Greta to PHD
programs. Wow.
Like so, it was like, we createdour networks, right?
In our communities to like certain to sustain ourselves to
(37:56):
survive and like yeah, yeah. And like my fraternity Brothers.
Nobody was in grad. School are Buddy was under like
all of them were undergrad. So for me I loved it because it
was like this is a space and place away from what I have to
do academically. Yeah I like so like I can leave
that over there and then I come to like cuz we ended up renting
(38:18):
a house the last year together, right?
They can I come home and it's myfraternity brothers, who I trust
and they're all in different spaces and different like majors
and stuff. So we can support each other and
just kick it and relax and not have to be caught up with the
the stress and anxiety of like All I have to do well because
that's another thing you will see is very much.
So like, I gotta do what I gottado.
(38:39):
Well like that academic competition was real.
And it's crazy because used later on start figuring out that
grades owe me shit, right? They don't if you want to apply
for scholarships and that's whatthey use as criterias.
Unfortunately, we can't change that, that's what it is.
But like psychologically, like mentally emotionally, get this
(39:00):
in your head grades. Only shit.
Like to this day when you apply to jobs, or when you apply two
spaces, nobody's asking me aboutmy GPA.
What grade did you get in this class?
How well do you Jenna School know?
At the end of the day, there were like, oh, what degree do
you Okay great and then you keepit moving, you know, they're
talking about work experience atthat point.
But yeah, it's interesting how you learn that on?
(39:22):
I learned that later on and actually I didn't learn that
until my grad my doctoral program because I was fixated on
grades and and in my undergrad and Masters because that's what
we're conditioned to do, right? I was on the Dean's List, I was
getting A's and B's. I was like, oh I have this.
I have that. And then you go on to your
doctoral program. One of my professors was like I
don't give a shit about grades. I just have to give them out
(39:42):
because it's been Ettore. But listen, you turn in the few
turning your work. You learn you participate.
You pass, you know? And I was just kind of like, oh
shit for real like even that I would like oh my God I'm so
sorry. I didn't get a chance.
She's like it's cool. Just turn it in when you can you
know. Yeah.
Like even that edition of like supporting me and not stressing
(40:06):
me out was even new to me. Like, what you're not tripping,
I'm not turning it in or you're not tripping off this or
tripping off that it's like, no.The fact that you participate,
you show up, you're learning. You're asking questions
demonstrating to me what you're getting out?
This course. Not this piece of paper, you
know, they never it is right? So I'm just kind of like, wow.
Okay, cool. So but then you said something
(40:30):
that was interesting. You started to apply to PHD
programs while you're in your master's program.
Yeah. Again, some people like myself
do it at the last minute, do it.Here's later when they're out of
school. All, you know, I wasn't, you
know, really considering a PhD Ilike like vaguely thought about
(40:51):
it. Like, oh that we try if I have a
PhD but like that's as far as itwent here, Jose like I didn't
really do anything. I was just trying to graduate
and I honestly thought I was going to end at my master's
program. So talk to me about what made
you decide to get a PhD. Like, if you have a particular
experience, or like now that youare in a higher ed program and
you're being exposed to all of these spaces, And theories and
(41:16):
pedagogies. Right now you're kind of like
hold up a second. Like there's more to this that I
want to kind of, you know, like you said, fulfill my purpose in.
Yeah. So for me, it's like I thought
when I, when I got to USC, I thought I was like, cool.
I'm gonna get this master's degree.
I'm going to learn about this higher ed like student affairs
(41:36):
Administration stuff. I'm just gonna work at a I'm
gonna work out of college. Yeah, you know and I'm going to
support kids and do my Well, in this program, I started like
seeing the realities of like what does it mean to work in
student affairs? How to put in a professional get
treated and I was like this is some BS.
Like they don't get paid enough.Like just didn't travel handle
(41:58):
like nobody's business at all hours because they're on salary
was not good salaries and I was like hell no.
I'm not like spending this moneyand taking this time to get this
degree to like to go to what I thought.
Thought was square one again like to go back to like no I
want to make boohoo money and I want to be comfortable and I
(42:18):
want to be able to so, you know,live my life.
And so like that first year I that's when it clicked for me
that I was like I want to be a broken because bravas have
autonomy. They have like like the freedom
to be like, this is what I'm going to focus on, I'm going to
work with these times, I'm goingto like, you know, whatever, I
mean, they're overworked regardless, but there's more
(42:40):
like I have autonomy to do this,this is what's gonna happen in
my Last bubble blah and I was like that's the best way that
I'm going to be able to like create impact.
Create change like research teaching students in the
University as opposed to just being like a support service
which is nothing wrong with that.
I just wait for for me to createthat kind of impact, right?
(43:03):
And resistance resistance to the, to the system, like I have
to be like a profit and not justlike a assistant professor, like
I want to be like an endowed chair, kind of Tenured
professor? Oh, that's like this is what I'm
doing like, okay, we're at the table.
Yeah, like I'm bringing this to the table.
Like this is where what? We're studying this is the
center. I'm going to create in the
(43:24):
future like that's how I want toshow up in Academia and so and I
want to publish and present withstudents and like, you know,
like that's how we're going to show up in Academia, and that
like the master's program exposed me to, like, you can go
this route to, it's going to be hard.
But if you like, if you're like about it and like, You know,
it's a you connect to it, do it.And for me, I've always been
(43:46):
like, if it's easy, if it cut like easy in the sense that I
can connect to it and I can makesense of it, then follow it
because that's like your intuition.
That's like all these things, right?
And so so yes. Why I applied to like eight
programs in my second year of the master's program and I got
into two And it was just like a process because you have to like
(44:12):
it's personal statement got to submit information, got to ask
for letters of Rec like it's like this whole thing and I was
like, I don't know what I'm doing and so people I started
hitting people up on Facebook and people started like meeting
with me on the phone. People started meeting with me
in person to look over like my personal statements.
Like this is what I would recommend below blind.
You know, you don't know what you don't know, and I didn't
(44:32):
know like what all this was about, you know.
And I think I was also in a space where like I want to get
in Good program, blah blah, blah.
And I didn't understand like what I what I really wanted
under needed and saw like I applied to like, programs that
are hella hard to get into were like, you have to come.
Unfortunately, you have to come with with like elitist, like
(44:55):
backgrounds to, right? So, like, I applied to Stanford,
I got tonight. I applied to Harvard.
I got tonight. I applied to Columbia got
tonight, and it's like your thumb, man.
Like, I'm applying to places where it's like, they Their own
people and just recycle in that way, they're not big on like
thinking outside the box and I was writing about work.
(45:16):
I want to do with queer like next like students which was not
trending which is not, you know,popping off or anything.
And so I got into two programs and then I ended up if that'd
the whole PhD is like a whole story in itself because I kind
of ended up transferring after ayear of my original Ph.D
program. So where are you now?
(45:38):
So now I'm at Claremont GraduateUniversity in Southern
California. So I'm literally, I'm part of
the, they call it the Claremont Consortium, The Claremont
colleges, so like Pomona Pitzer and all of that.
Those are the undergrad schools and then my school and KGI which
is like the science medical school, that my school is on
(46:01):
campus while kg eyes like a couple blocks away from the
actual campus. But yeah.
So that's where I go to school now, and I'm in In my, I'm
finishing up my fourth year of the PHD here at Claremont and
I'm a PhD candidate, so I'm justworking on my dissertation.
No more classes or anything? Oh yeah.
So I'm getting close like the mygoal is to wrap up by the end of
(46:24):
the Fall. So like by December, hopefully,
I'll be graduated by that time and tell us about your
dissertation. What's your dissertation topic
about? Yeah, so my dissertation.
I'm focusing on the lived experiences of queer and or
Brands that next 80 identifying graduate students.
And so the reason why I decided to do that, a because it
(46:45):
connects to like, who I am and how I show up, right?
And I think, you know, in a lot of ways, the personal is very
political in today's age, oh, and song like the personal is
political and I'm not here to beobjective because that's what
they say. And, you know, in social science
research, we need to be objective as researchers, epos.
When I'm like f that. It's very subjective and I'm
(47:07):
centering. We're queer and queer and trans
Latin next day, all lives because they're not centered or
talked about spaces. And so I'm going to do a whole
dissertation. And what belonging looks like
for these folks in their grad programs, through a hole through
the identity and Consciousness lens.
So through whole three, a pedagogy where we sent her queer
(47:28):
and trans like next day, all folks, we're going to go
through. What does it mean to be a grad
student here? How do you, how does how do you
live in this space? How do you exist?
How do Breathe and we did it through platicas because I was
like the best way to engage in this work is to have authentic
platicas, where we cut, we co-create.
Oh, none of these people are my participants there, my
(47:49):
co-creators and we like cry. We've cried we've laughed.
We've like, you know, said aftersystem we've supported each
other outside of these blood because was like how can like I
support you in your program. How can you like also like you
know, build community that and support me?
Me and my programmer, you know, so I've had platicas with 40
(48:12):
people and now I'm going throughlike coding, it analyzing it and
what are, you know, what are things that are coming up from
these plots because of yeah. So that's what I'm doing with my
dissertation. Wow.
So we were definitely meant to cross paths because my
dissertation is very similar to yours which is you know, culture
of belonging for Latinas in graduate school you know and
(48:36):
putting in my own personal experience.
I own lived experience and then not only that the gap of the
literature is where do you see me?
Gotta winces on there, where do you see Central Americans on it?
Right. So it's like identify with the
experiences of black women and women of color of Chicanos of
Mexicanas. But like where is the central
Americans, right? Worth of Salvadorian own doing
(48:57):
and you got a Wednesday Panamanian beliefs will study
call that? It's like you know where again
we're also conforming to other people's experiences, which we
have similarities but like It's still not my experience though.
Your Dome say like I have my ownexperience and so that is so
great. I'm glad that this generation
Our Generation, you know, with the experiences that we've had,
(49:18):
you know, with undergrad, graduate school and even the
whole process being first generation, it's like damn, all
those microaggressions. All of all these things that I
experienced was not supposed to happen to me, but we conformed
and we accept it and we shoved it under the rug because we
thought this was the process, you know?
Now that we're in this space of higher education.
(49:41):
Now we're like, oh shit doesn't have to be hard for the people
that are following us. It could be a lot easier for
queer and trans. Will be a lot easier for Latin
X. Could be a lot easier for women
of color. And so, let's create that
culture, right? Let's create, yeah.
That is supposed to exist and beauthentically available for
(50:01):
anyone who identifies in this space, you know?
Yeah, Anna. And I think that's a, that's
another like important piece, right?
Like Like that people don't liketo talk about or like, it's not
really like mentioned, but the higher you go, the less you see,
is the wider it gets. Oh yeah.
Like people making decisions like people at the top rail Akin
(50:21):
in like my Ph.D program. Like, there's very few of us
that are like, folks of color inthese spaces.
Right? And so and then the environment
tell the toxic, right? Because they create like and I
say this across the board, like least in the bubble that I'm in
higher education. It creates a very competitive
like environment, right? Like, you got to be the, it
(50:42):
Factor, the golden star, the one, it's never about being in
community and like, you know, through my experiences like
reflecting on myself, how I can be problematic and perpetuate a
lot of shit, right? Because I think of the day like
I also like like I am male presenting identify as cisgender
yes I'm queer and I'm hopeful right?
(51:03):
But I'm a man and there's privileges that come with that
regard. Alice, whether I say anything or
not your sexuality, yeah. Like whether or not like I still
will look like a man in spaces and I will have privileges over
like, over women of color rate, specifically, black and Latina
women have to navigate these spaces.
(51:23):
It's very fucked up. And so to me I'm like that's
like representation. And I tell like my family part
of it is like I need to be at the table so they can like
students can see look there's a there's a prophet Like Us in
this space. At the table to correct,
correct? Yeah, I mean that's all oh my
(51:44):
God, you are speaking my language because I feel like
that's all I thrive for, you know, is to I look at, I look at
anything. I look at a website.
I look at a program. I look at his face anything and
I'm like, who here? Looks like me and I instantly
get fucking frustrated when I'm like nobody.
(52:05):
Nobody here. Looks like me.
What the hell. And so I'm are, it's like
already. Become already with this like
Vibe, like okay, well then here's my chingon, a hat, it
would go like here, I am fighting for the space for us.
Someone that looks like us to beat the table for this and so
it's just you know it's it's disheartening you know and I
feel like I'm also going throughthat space right now with my
(52:25):
doctoral program being in a merger, a whole other podcast
for that trust and that will definitely come out because a
lot of people need to know what questions to ask and how to hold
higher. Education, Administration
accountable, yes, those spaces. But yesterday I was someone sent
(52:46):
me something. And I was looking at the Board
of Trustees and I'm like hold ona second and I know it's not
unique to probably any other institutions to but I'm like,
hold up a second. This new institution, it's going
to take over the entire Board ofTrustees.
There's not one Latin X latina/latino on this board.
Not one and this. Board of Trustees is going to
(53:10):
make decisions based on my educational path as a Latinas
first generation, you know? And so I was just, I was so
frustrated yesterday, I went on a whole tweet war.
Look at my tweet, look at my Twitter on Monday, doesn't
matter, because I was just kind of like that is ridiculous.
Like, I've been the way that I like to explain it is, you know,
I kind of was just like letting time pass, you know, I don't
(53:31):
work in higher ed so I don't know the process.
Yeah. I come more from like a
corporate America business lens.So, I'm I'm like okay give it
time. They're going to figure it out
and now that all these information is, you know, Kind
of coming up. I'm like, oh, okay.
Now the bear has been poked. Like I'm awake.
I'm out of hibernation. Yeah, I'm just going full-blown
(53:52):
status. Like, I have nothing to lose at
this point, you know? And if I'm not fighting for my
own education, what gives me theright to fight for someone
else's education, it starts where I'm at right now.
So I can continue to fight the inequities and obstacles that
exist for our own Community, youknow, so again, whole nother.
(54:12):
I don't know. It could be IG live.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I'll definitely be
something for sure. It's definitely calculated on
how it would come out. But this is a lot.
This is a lot of information that you shared with us.
And I really think it's very necessary for the listeners to
hear, you know, your experience your journey, what you're
(54:33):
navigating right now the work that you're doing and your
continue to do for our community.
Because you're right. It's not I don't hear queer.
And trans be talked about a lot,you know, if it's not In some
type of negative perspective, unfortunately, right.
And so, I love everything about counter storing, telling your
narrative, platicas co-creating,all that stuff, because we need
(54:57):
people that look like us at the table to speak for us at the
table. Not, you know, I'm saying.
And so, I feel like that's very important.
So, I, you know, I want to kind of end it here because I know
that we have a lot more to say, and I wanted to keep it You
know, towards graduate school and your experience and so
forth. But if you would like to share
(55:18):
with us where they can contact you, if they have any questions
or anything that you would like to share that you're working on
or maybe anything that you're collaborating with another
individual or Community, this isyour time to shine and let us
share that. Ya know, the first of all thank
you because you're spot-on, right?
I think we need to continue to push these boundaries and
(55:40):
disrupt these academic spaces with with like this, this in
itself was like a whole co-creation of this dope ass
blood because I reminiscing and understanding who we are how we
show up in spaces how to make meaning of it and how to move
forward, right. And I think, I think about like
what do I want to do is I move forward.
And so like I always tell people, I was just doing a
(56:02):
presentation earlier today for this group, at San Diego, State
University. And I was like, throughout this
whole process, right? The good, the bad, the messy,
I'm like, I do what I love with the people that Love is that
just gives it more me and it's not the academic way because the
Academic Way tells me, right? And tells us you got to publish
(56:23):
on your own, you got a present on your own.
You have to like be like the, you know, like the valedictorian
or like the it the golden star and I'm like, no, I want to work
in community with people. Like I want to be with people
and like, let's that's publishedtogether.
Let's go present these conferences together on our
radical work right on the way wesee and how we're making were
theorizing. We're creating our own little
(56:44):
Pedagogy wait and so so thank you because it's needed, right?
I think about how can I like I've been thinking about what
are ways that I can like dive into start creating podcasts like
of my of my own and just reflectand share my experiences write
and share my cheese, man. We call it ethical cheese me,
right? We started saying that mess like
couple years ago. We're like this is our ethical
(57:05):
cheese man. What we're sharing this stuff to
uplift, each other to warn each other, right?
So like support and sustain eachother in these academic spaces
because they were never meant for us.
Whoever's listening, whoever he,you are as much as you think the
system, the educational system is here for you.
They were never created from your you to thrive.
(57:25):
They were created on the backs of indigenous, folks of black,
folks for the white man to succeed.
Correct? Because all these ivy league
institutions are carving, cutouts of the English.
Elitist institutions like King'sCollege Cambridge, and all that
Miss, right? And so it's a replica.
Of this like internalized colonization and racism that
(57:47):
exists. So higher ed is definitely in
the same FM, boat. And so we need to like continue
to push and say no I'm showing up through an asset-based, lens
doing work that's going to for me in the communities that I
want to be with. So I think the only thing that I
wanna or the thing that I'm really excited about right now
(58:08):
is we're in, like, in drafts of publishing because like, we're
going, Can force. So they call it like revise and
resubmit. And so, we're working on this
whole article about queer platicas, and how they're
different from the traditional platicas and education through
like doctora fierros, and the government.
(58:30):
Because they talk about it, theytalk about plastic as amusing as
using it as method or methodology to do research rate.
And that's what I've been using like in my, in my dissertation
and then like, other work that I've published.
But right now me and Two of my Icall them my scholar sister.
So dr. Angel Gonzalez.
And dr. Robert Orozco we're like we're
(58:52):
writing and developing and like pushing these boundaries of
platica research and we're like,these are queer platicas and
they should be done for queer people, by queer people to be in
community. Correct.
And so, I'm excited for that. I don't know when it's going to
come out because we're like, going back and forth right to
like, make sure we have everything like set up a blah
blah. We have great like editors
though that are doing like, Likeamazing, like they're like
(59:15):
amazing doctor has the like I'm a fan girl of life in the work
that they do and stuff. So I'm just I'm grateful to be
in that space to learn from them.
And yeah, that should be coming out.
Hopefully sometime this year, will definitely keep us informed
or keep me informed, and I will share on the platforms and where
they can access the article and support you and support
everything. You're doing with the bloody
(59:37):
guys and stuff. But thank you so much set of
y'all. I really appreciate it.
Myself City EPA, brother Jalisco, all that we have so
many A man within our own family.
And I again, I cannot thank you enough for you sharing the
story. You know, just to give you a
quick little history before we end off, you know, when I
started letting us with Masters,you know, it's just, I identify
(59:59):
with Athena and I have a master's degree.
So I wanted to just continue, you know, assisting and helping
women and Latinas get into graduate school.
And then I had, you know, the guys latino man, you know, queer
all that. Talk to me like, hey, I got a I
got a master's to like, what's up?
Let's share our story and I said, you know what, you're
absolutely right, let's go aheadand do that, you know?
(01:00:21):
And so season two is definitely dedicated, you know, just bring
more diversity into the space, you know.
So so we can hear these stories and, and and, you know, get some
type of motivation and inspiration from what you've
experienced, right? That is similar to someone else
that's listening to the podcast.So, I want to thank my guest.
(01:00:44):
He'll Gonzalez. Future future looked, or we here
talking about queer and trans what that he has space.
So catch him at the table for sure.
And then thank you everybody forlistening to the Latinas with
Masters podcast. I appreciate all your love and
support and I will talk to you later.
Alright, peace out. Bye.
Hi, everyone. You're listening to that Tina's
wet Masters podcast like And subscribe and comment down
below. Thank you for listening.
(00:25):
Latinos with Masters podcast is a culturally minded podcast
created to inspire Empower and educate the rest, a comunidad
and future generation leaders. Navigate The Hard Knocks of
higher education hosted by me, Christina, Rodriguez, founder
and creator of Latinas with Masters MBA graduate and future
doctora pursuing. My doctorate degree in
(00:46):
educational leadership and on a mission to master diversity,
equity and inclusion, and belonging in the spaces, we all
live work and learn All while embracing and preserving newest,
I could do that. Like, And subscribe and follow
Latinas with Masters on all social platforms.
Thank you for listening to Latinas with Masters podcast and
I hope you enjoy the show. Hey, what's up everyone?
(01:15):
This is Christina Rodriguez, your host and creator of the
Latinas with Masters podcast andwe are starting off season 2,
episode 4 with our with our new guest said he'll Gonzalez and
I'm going to read to you his intro because it is super
powerful and it's, honestly, it comes from the heart, I can see
(01:36):
the passion and I can see his intentional, his intention with
his leadership and the way that he shows up authentically in all
spaces, He exists from the so this is his bio.
I exist from the core of who I am Hotel lionex feminist equal
the first generation Madre and Mexican immigrant bothered a
(01:59):
Whole 30, a scholar and activistas Lord.
States, I have come to believe over and over again.
That what is more important to me must be spoken made verbal
and shared even at the risk of having being it bruised or Miss
understood for this reason. My connection to hold the idea
(02:19):
derived from my experiences, navigating, the Ivory Tower and
trying to understand where I exist within that space as a
scholar activist, I focus on co-creating counter, narratives
of queer Latin, X Latina Latino individuals within higher
education. So it is to no surprise that
(02:41):
when I was stocking stereo. On Instagram and I was just
seeing all of its content him using the word, hope that idea
and we actually connected through a workshop that we did
and he was talking exactly like that.
That I was just like, oh shit, Igotta get this.
I gotta, I have to get him on mypodcast because that's exactly
(03:02):
the vibe and the energy that we need to continue to elevate in
higher education. So without further Ado, I want
to introduce to you my new one. Mono stereo Gonzalez, what's up?
Get this ball on the podcast, real likes talking you, I was
(03:23):
like, okay cool. Alright, I see that energy all
day. Thank you for having me.
I'm happy to be here. We were just talking before we
got on the recording that was like oh we were like both in
tune and like we're going to hiteach other up and then it just
it happens. I was like oh yeah because we
have been trying to do this for a minute but we've been hella
busy. So I'm happy.
(03:44):
That we have the time to do it now.
No. Absolutely.
Thank you so much for being on the podcast for sharing your
story with us. You know, we're going to dig dig
right in because as you know, the theme of this podcast, it
started off and it continues to be, you know, let's share our
experiences on how we got into higher education, right.
I don't have a quote unquote traditional pathway into higher
(04:07):
education. No I feel like it really exists
although there is this perception that there's a
traditional Pathway, we can talkmore about that, but I
definitely would love to hear more about your experience and
how you got to where you are today.
But first, I definitely want to start off with who is said,
(04:28):
he'll like, where are you from? Where your family's from?
Where did you grow up? Yeah, so so thank you.
So, let's see. I'm from the Bay Area.
So I'm always thinking from the Gay born and raised and grew up
in South City. So for folks who know This girl.
And then my mom looked to EPA. So he's Palo Alto.
And I was there for a bit in theG.
(04:50):
So, first shout-out to the G andyay.
And then we moved to Redwood City.
And so, in my mind, I guess my trajectory, right?
So I went from, so I went from, Willow Oaks Elementary to then
Fair Oaks Elementary in Redwood City in the hood.
And then did Middle School, Kennedy, Middle School and I
went to Sequoia High School. One of like the five public high
(05:12):
schools in the whole District. So, That's where I was at.
And it was during that time, I guess connecting at education,
right? Like, I don't know what I was
gonna do. I'm like, I'm first gen raised
by a single mom and like, my mom.
My mom was born in California, born and raised in California,
but she dropped out of high school.
And so there was never an expectation.
Like go to college and blah blahblah.
(05:33):
It was more so like you got to figure out your path, right?
So if you're going to be in school and be in school, if
you're going to be you know working then go work.
And I think for me like how I was always like a bookworm I
love being like reading and writing and so it just felt easy
to me and I joined college track.
So shout out to college. Track does nonprofit and they do
(05:54):
a lot of like college access. So I was at college track back
in the day when it was like a little, like Shaq, like one
Center and EPA it, if it's on Bay Road.
But they used to be across the street on Bay Road and it was
like so small and then they expanded that space where the
warehouses are and then they went across the street now, It's
(06:14):
where they're at, and it's like,all big and like, they've,
they've gone to like different states and stuff.
So, college track really? Like, put this like
college-going mentality, like you can go to college, you can
make it happen and like they helped me through the all of it,
the good, the bad, the messy, like they were there.
And I've never gotten Yvonne like like a parent should write,
(06:34):
like, because I would get in trouble, because I would like
messed up in class, but they were like down and they were
like, you're gonna go to collegeand we're going to help you get
to college. And they did, you know, I want
to go back real quick because you just you lived all over the
peninsula. Similar to myself.
I grew up in San Francisco. Daly City.
Then I went to the South Bay. I came back to South City so as
(06:56):
you know, people in South City, don't leave South City.
So that's actually very and we were just talking before here.
How? Like, we still have family that
lives in South Sadie and I love South Sadie.
South city was like a second home to me.
That's where my husband is from.A lot of people that I know from
South City area, Genuine and hardworking and down-to-earth.
So shout out to South city. That is my second home for sure.
(07:18):
But I love what you said that your parents or your mom, you
know, even though she didn't go to college regardless of that,
it was like you want to go to school, then go to school.
If you're going to work, then work.
And I noticed that with our parents, especially that were
first generation. I mean, I can go to my parents
right now and be like I dropped out, and even though they'll be
like, obviously, I don't want you to drop out.
They would like, okay, well, what do you want to do next?
(07:38):
And let's, let's go ahead and let's focus on the energy on
where you need to be where You want I've noticed that with our
parents that, you know, we look at you'll get it or, you know,
get things like that. I'm just kind of like wow.
Okay they're actually very supportive because I did have a
gap year and there was a time where I'm just like, fuck I'm
already making like 20 plus an hour.
Why am I going to get a bachelor's degree?
(07:59):
And my parents were like, okay, we'll see.
Do get it. That's fine.
You know I said, oh yeah, show up to work on, time be hard
work, or do this and do that. And then I realized, oh, I can't
get past his job, because they require a bachelor's.
All right, let me go back to school, then The shit out.
So I love how you said that. The other thing is EPA.
I mean, I honestly didn't know too much about EPA and so I
(08:22):
lived in Mountain View and I wasactually working at the Expo
Design Center that no longer exists.
But before I was like Coolidge apartments or Cooley Apartments.
Yeah. And so that when I was working
at the Home Depot Expo, Design Center, people that were working
in, there are from EPA and therewere like, oh, you don't even
know. This used to be the apartment,
(08:42):
has to be the hood. Hood and this and that.
And so it's crazy. How East Palo Alto has evolved.
Like, I definitely seen it involved with Facebook and all
of these, you know, other tech companies, moving in there.
But the heart of EPA like peoplethat are from EPA, those are
another group of individuals. My best friend from EPA hard
working, you know, like like yousaid like dang, you know, I grew
(09:05):
up in the hood, you know and then call US track came and kind
of helped me you know, navigate a space that I had no idea where
this was going to lead. To you.
No, no that's so real. And then I don't know if you if
you like remember this or knew about this but where the Four
Seasons is used to be Whiskey's goltz what they call that.
I think it'd be like halfway house, they used to be like Cabo
(09:29):
and I was there because my mom would go there for meetings and
stuff. So and college track used to be
there, okay? Okay like for like a year or two
and then they went to the spot on Bay Road where I started
going. So like Yeah, they used to be so
much. They used to be so much more
access to like Community kind ofstuff, right?
And then enter vacation was likewhat's up grilled cheese?
(09:51):
Dog became real on that. So so regard.
So with college track, do you think that is your earliest
memory of going to college? Or did you know, someone that in
your family or through an acquaintance or someone that
went to college? And then you're like, huh?
Let me see if that's something that it could be like when
you're older to not necessarily as an adolescent.
(10:12):
So I think Me. So like I guess to give context
right on both sides of the family.
Like here, like in the states, right?
We were like we were the black sheep because my parents were
like, you know, like being cabrones like both of them in
all respect for a like in Quran.Is so, like, on my dad's side we
were like, you know, like equalsthe, my dad.
So, like the black sheep and then my mom Sykes, my mom was
(10:34):
like, well, damn, very like, youknow, sick independent woman
like no one's going to tell me what to do Vibe.
And so I would hear like, on my dad's side, like I would, You're
of like older like cousins or d as in fields that were like, oh
we think, you know, school but it was never like we were never
close where I was like, it's impacting me right?
And I think for me it was definitely college track.
(10:57):
Like I remember my freshman year, my best friend Jaime and I
so shout out to high. Mannheim is a he's like the one
of the directors at the boys andgirls club right there.
And EPA, and in Menlo Park, and there's a lot of work around
really supporting students get into college.
So the whole application processtime it goes Through with them
when they get accepted figuring out where to go, right?
(11:18):
So like we're like we were both in college track like we're
living and eating and breathing this like how can we keep
empowering our hint there? Right.
And so call this track, I remember my freshman year.
I apply Hyman, I applied to it and we got accepted and they
were like we're going to teach you what what going to college
means a through G requirements. And I'm like, what's that,
(11:39):
right? Because I was at this time, I
was going to my guidance counselor at Sequoia High
School. She's trash and she kept trying
to get me out of like AP EnglishAdvanced.
Now, she's trash very trash, very much trash because that's
the senior out. Like, I would go in right to
like, oh, like let's meet for like, what am I going to take
(12:01):
next semester? And she was like, you need to be
taking ESL English. When I was a singer Advanced
English, she was like, you need to go into the academies,
programme, that was the vocational program and I was
like, but I'm taking like I'm taking geometry as a freshman.
I'm taking Advanced English, like I'm taking like, courses,
(12:21):
that like count for a through G and had it, not been for college
track because they were like also, like they were, they were
also like counseling. And they were like, if you take,
if you switch out of your classes and going to these
classes, you're not going to be College eligible.
You won't meet these a through Grequirements and other.
Well, that's what the council keeps telling me.
(12:42):
So I would have to like from that moment is when I knew that
like I don't know how to explainit right in understanding, this
was institutionalized, oppression and racism and all
this shit. All this stuff's he's me and and
I didn't have Burbage for it, but I knew that I was like I
want to go to college, right? Because College argue like you
can't go to college and you can go to.
(13:02):
There's all kinds of schools, you're going to learn about it
while you're here. And you were going to do your
homework here. We're going to provide SAT prep
and ACT prep. We're going to like pay for you
to go take the test. As we're going to provide you
scholarship money depending on your grades every like semester,
right? And so I would just have to go
just go off to school. Do your thing and learn what you
need to do. So, I used to, I used to write
(13:23):
notes and Forge my mom's signature and put myself.
I had a cell phone at that time.I'll put my cell phone number
down and I would say to the counselor, oh my mom says, I
need to be an advanced English in advanced math and advanced
science. So here's my mom's letter.
Okay. One.
Oh my God. There's a lot.
(13:43):
There's a lot to unpack here youguys.
So I wish I would have had that at least because I went to a
continuation school and my teachers I mean I love them.
They did the best they could with the resources that they had
and it's just you know and even though you're in a quote unquote
Traditional High School, they'restill experiences where students
(14:06):
of color are being held back, you know, like in your
situation, right. And the other thing that I want
to talk about Is parents, unfortunately are not given
information from the school, district of what their rights
are as parents. Like, I listen to this shit now
as a parent and I'm, you know, helping my kids, you know, in
(14:28):
grade school and then I'm like, wait, I have power.
Like, even me, I'm like, wait. So if I don't want my kid to do
that, they don't have to do it, you know.
And I feel like with us our parents, they send it to school
because they entrusted, Today inthe school district oil, sobbing
right, I would get a bad grade or the teacher to be like, oh,
Christina, look, he's always talking in class or she's always
(14:49):
interrupting. Oh my God, like, he get the
haciendo. You're not doing it, and I'm
just kind of like, it wasn't even like that, you know, and my
parents believed in me, but it was always, like, why is it
teacher gonna lie like, but Kayla when I see that soap or
NADA, right? So almost home.
Now, I tell my teachers and I tell the school, Know that I'm
(15:13):
always gonna believe my kid first.
So you better get your story straight.
You better figure it out becauseI find out.
Come correct, might lie what yousaid, we're going to have
problems, you know, but I love the school that my kids are at,
but I'm also, I also got to protect me and my kids and know
what our rights are as parents, you know, in situations like
that. No, it's real.
(15:35):
Like, like, same with me, right?Like my parents, my parents
didn't know any better. My dad was never.
My parents are divorced. Like my dad was never.
Really like involved in like thewhole process and my dad you
know, coming from from Jalisco, right?
Like he, he also dropped out like thinking like like Middle
School like he was like I'm doneI'm out.
I'm going to work and then he ended up in the Bay Area and my
mom, right? They had my older sister and I
(15:56):
had and they split so like he wasn't involved in like the
processes of like this is what it means to go to school and
this is what I want to do. Like I remember my senior year,
he was like I was like oh I likeI'm applying to colleges like
I'm going through the whole application.
And process college track is paying some of them have fee
waivers for others because like the best time to be broken when
(16:19):
you're applying to college. And my mom was broke.
We were on Section 8, we were onfood stamps and it was like,
this is the best because everything's fucking free right
now. Like, everything and I remember
he was like, what do you mean you're going to go to college?
Obviously in Spanish, but he waslike, we have the college and I
was like, yeah, I want to go to college and he was, I thought
you were just gonna get a job and work where I work, because
(16:40):
my dad works for the The garbage, the garbage company,
and in the city of San Franciscoand he was like, I just figured
you were just gonna get a job there.
And I was like, no, I want to goto school and he was like stuck
like why would you want to go toschool?
Yeah. Like very much like I guess I
don't understand it and and whatI went through the application
(17:01):
process, I got wait-listed at Cal Berkeley.
So I said y'all suck a few because that's where I wanted to
go. I got into SF state, I'm like I
think it was like a full ride Like some change or whatever.
And then I got into manhattanville college in New
York, a little liberal arts college.
You know, like not like a bed, right?
(17:21):
And I was like, I don't ever, I don't ever want to regret like
not going. Like I don't know what it's
gonna be like but I don't want to regret being like I could
have gone like a way, right? Like mind, you know, family like
so my best friend Angie and I hey Lika to she applied to a
couple schools in New York too and she got it we both got into
me. A handbill and she went to go
(17:43):
check it out during like you know the flying programs when
they try to create the long timeor something or in the
summertime or like you know whenyou get accepted the like come
and check out the come and checkout this cool blah blah blah.
So I was like based on what you say, I'll say yes.
Like if you're like I'm about itand I'm gonna go fa also.
Yeah, referral. We're yeah.
(18:04):
Yeah. I was like I'll say yes.
And let's go because, why not? And so we left.
And I remember when I said yes and I like I told Dad, he was
like. Look at that was here in New
York like getting my calluses. And I was just like that's where
I want to go. And he was like, I better
continue them because I'm not and very much was like you're
(18:26):
going to New York because you'redumb and you're going to get
into some trouble. And I'm not going to help you
when I'm gonna go fuck around and some shit.
Yeah. And I was just like, well, I'm
not really asking you at this point.
I'm letting, you know, I just submitted the deposit with my
scholarship money to, like, confirm really like intent to
enroll. Whatever its called I like.
(18:47):
So I'm just letting you know like I already made the decision
and I leave in August. So tell us about your experience
at was it called manhattanville?Yeah, manhattanville College.
Well it was really weird right because you know, being not
being in the from the Bay Area and and like, you know, being
broke. It's not like I was traveling
left and right and I got to knowthe world, right?
(19:08):
So like a, I was like, I don't know, New York like that one,
the world to us, right from New York.
That's the world right now. A Whole New World just like
what? Yeah, I've never been on a plane
for that long, right? Like I've never like I've never
I've never been a minority because I got to campus and I
(19:31):
come to find out. I was like one of like for
Mexicans on the whole campus andI was like this is so weird
because you know like coming from the bay where it's very I
mean it's very Mexican Centric so I think that was also like a
blessing in disguise for me, right?
So I get out of this. Mexican bubble and Mexican world
and see like this. And let me know some from all
over and this is what it's like.So, I loved it.
(19:54):
I was scared at first, right? Because it was like, shit.
We're in a whole new place and then I met like my best friends
to this day. So shout out to them.
So it's like, yeah, mati Danny, my roommate Darlene.
We call her Lolly, Jean-Marie. And so on Helicon, I had like
our group of friends and everybody was from somewhere
else. So like I'm not he's Puerto
Rican, Jenny's, Dominican and Ecuadorian from Um, the Lower
(20:16):
East Side Gym, Murray's from Washington Heights.
In is Dominican. LOL, he's from the Bronx and
Dominican. And so just like we just like
merged and it was like and I would always say, I think we
became friends because we're allfrom the hood and it was just
that like Zoop that connection and it was like, I got you got
my back and that's how we did it.
Like there was times when I get paid this week I'll like I got
(20:40):
us for the week to like by like whatever food we need to get.
And when you get paid next week,you got us for The food.
We need to get because we lived in like, like everyone lived in
the dorm for the most part. Yeah.
Right. Because it was a small liberal
arts college. So we had like 2,500 students
maximum amongst freshmen, sophomores, Juniors and seniors,
right? And so, it was like, we like I
lived on the dorms all four years and what I loved about it
(21:04):
for me, right? Because I'm the type command
below. Like, I'll be like, Oh, I'm
lost. And so, like I always reflect
now and I'm like, if I would have gone like let's say I would
have gotten accepted to Cal. If I would have gone to Cal and
I would have gone to those lecture halls, I would have
failed because I was in a class of 12 people and the profit
would be like, said, he'll call me by my name.
(21:26):
Keep you like said, he'll like, you weren't in class last week
and you're from California. So where were you?
Mike is not like you just dippedfor the day where were you?
Like what's going on, right? So like for me like I needed to
get checked and that kind of environment was very nurturing
to me, right? Because I was like, I need
attention, I need help, I need attention.
(21:48):
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm figuring this out as I go
and like being in a space like that, like I think you're really
cultivated and nurtured my mind and like I felt accountable to
people like I was like, I got togo to class because the prophet
knows me and they're going to belike, you didn't call Like you
didn't say you were going to be sick or bubble like you know,
you didn't annoy for master. You just dip.
So where were you? Yeah.
(22:08):
Yeah. That's not true.
Because I want to SS day in. There were a couple of classes
that were, like, Seminars, the teacher that I know if I did or
not. You know, like, that's what does
I'm like. Oh shit, I want to go to class
because I didn't go last time, but she ain't noticed at all
like and if, you know, but when you had those small intimate
ones, yeah, for sure. Hey Christina where were you or
a look? You, let's start off.
(22:29):
You start off the lecture and I'm like, yeah, I'm good thing.
I did my shit because it was Yeah, like winging it half the
time to you know. But but that is so true.
You know, you don't know what you need until you experience it
right to be like, wow, a I need you know, certain things
motivate you and that was your motivation, right?
Like, you needs to be checked like you said, so what did you
(22:49):
end up? Majoring in at manhattanville
like how did you know your majorthere?
Yeah. So like you know, you know as
the first gen Little Hook, people trying to figure out my
life. I thought I wanted to go into
psychology. So I took psych courses like the
first semester. Right.
And I was like, oh no I can't dothis, this is not and I was like
okay cool. Like I'm going to do more social
(23:11):
classes, right? And so she's cool like I've I
had with it but I wasn't like ohI love this.
Tampoco and then so that was like the second semester, right?
But the cool thing about my school's you could do a lot of
like General Ed kind of courses right to figure out what you
want to do and they were really good about like keeping you on a
timeline. Like because I was in and out in
(23:34):
four years, no summer school, nothing in and out.
I did my thing every semester and then like you graduate,
right? Which was something I didn't
think about either. I just was like, oh well this is
the environment that I'm in and so like we're all gonna like do
our stuff get to work past and like move on, right.
And so then sophomore year I started taking Communications
courses and I was like this is it, I found myself and so I did.
(23:57):
So I majored in communication studies and I doubled my nerd
and sociology and Lattimer. Studies volume rho nerdy reunion
with my stuff and, like, our eyes, the type of work, I'm
going to do right? But I loved it because I did a
lot of, like, a lot of like filmand photography courses, in my
communications major. So I was able to like, merge
(24:18):
that stuff together. So how did you decide to go into
graduate school like walk with us?
Yeah. How was that experience?
Because I feel like everybody has an experience where they
don't really, They don't really consider it until the last
minute and I say last minute as in like admission applications
are due like within a couple of weeks or like some people know
(24:41):
during undergrad, like yes, I want to go get my masters and
kind of start doing the work then and others are just like,
you know let me just see what happens and then not and then
just decide it's not for them. So walk with us how that came to
said. Yeah.
So so I I'm going to date myselfbut if I graduated and me 2008,
(25:03):
summer, like Amity and I'm like a Senora in my age.
So I graduated in May 2008 and Iwent, you know, like I don't
know what I was doing. I was just like I got to
college, excuse me, I got to college.
I'm going to graduate college but I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what like a career is.
I don't know. None of that.
Like I didn't prepare for any ofthat.
I was just like I did it. I graduated got a degree and I
(25:26):
went back to the bay. And at that time I was living
with my dad because I was only home for like Christmas or for
the summer, right? Because I was always in school.
So I basically live at his houseand And it was the peak of the
recession, I couldn't find a jobfor the life of me.
I'm talking. Like I would submit applications
(25:48):
the now that like Nava and I started getting frustrated and
my dad was like, penis kitagawa.Yeah, like like that after.
Like two months, right up. Like searching.
He's like, Dennis, get out of a hot.
And that was like, yeah. Basically, it was like, why did
you go to school? How did you get this piece of
(26:08):
paper, right? Because he was like, not, yeah.
For it. So he was on his leg on his high
horse about like what kind of vibe and I was like oh man.
And that was like I think such ahumbling like time and
experience because I started applying to like jobs like
Starbucks McDonald's to like retail jobs because I was like I
need to find some kind of job and it was just really hard.
(26:33):
And I fell into I fell into a part-time position at the Dior
counter at the Stanford ShoppingCenter at Macy's.
And I started working my way up and makeup because I was like,
I'm gonna make money and I left Macy's and I went to yeah.
Yes, I was like I'm gonna hustle, I'm gonna hustle, I'm
going to live and I was a makeupartist like counter manager for
(26:55):
Laura Mercier Cosmetics for likethree years.
And I was like, I was doing my thing making my money and I was
like on my grind cuz it's all hustles commission.
So you're like, let's go and I was like, this is cool, like I
can do this, I love being social, I love, you know.
No, I love makeup and I love playing with makeup.
I love being in this space rate,but I was like, I'm bored.
(27:18):
Like, like this, isn't get like,this isn't fulfilling me.
It's just, I clock in and clock out and I make my money and
that's when when high man. My best friend was like, oh,
college, track EPA is hiring forlike the like the assistant to
the site director position. Like you should apply because
(27:39):
you want to go into Ed. No.
And I was like, well. Yeah, yeah.
Cuz like, I always thought I wasgoing to avoid education because
I was like they treat teachers like crap and I don't want to be
a teacher and be and be treated like crap.
And so then I applied to the college our position and I got
it. And so I gave my two weeks and I
started working at college trackone year as the assistant to the
(28:01):
site director. So like I had all my little high
school career as as I like to call them.
And I would like, hey, go to your, you got to go to your
tutoring sessions. I had everything in order like
loud, pick them up from school. I would work with them.
I would talk to their parents. I was like the point person for
a lot of the Latino parents, right?
And EPA and then there was a position that opened up as a
(28:22):
college success, fellow to work with the students on the college
and for college track like National, right?
And so it was like all the sitesin the Bay Area, not just EPA.
So, I applied and I got it. And I worked there for four
years and I worked with Three ass as they like, went through
their processes and help them transition into college, you do
the whistle, and then I started applying to leadership positions
(28:44):
at college track and I kept getting denied because I don't
have a master's degree and boom.There it is, ladies and
gentlemen. There the the kicker out of
everything when people are, like, why should I get a masters
degree because there's positionsregardless of how much
experience you have. And it's unfortunate.
I'm not saying that it's right, but there's positions where
(29:05):
they're lying. And then you need a master's.
Yeah. So so I was like this is a like
you know, this is like me being like critically reflecting on
this. I was like college track is
problematic because I'm a product of college track.
I know the system really well. Like I work with these kids.
Like I know their parents like asked me about a student.
And I'll tell you about their parents, their siblings, if
(29:27):
they're in it, what school? They're at.
Like I it was very much like that's how interconnected we
were right. And so I was like This is why I
work and like this and like thismake this makes no sense like
college track, your being problematic because I'm a
product of the environment like of this, really, we're bringing
the yeah and I was like and you're hiring someone based on
(29:49):
like a piece of paper. Yeah.
For like Mitchell, angle for go like the fact that this was
happening. So I was like, okay, we're going
to play that. I'm gonna apply to masters
programs and I applied to the University of San Francisco's,
higher ed program. And I applied to the University
of Southern California's higher ed program.
And honestly, I was like, I'm not gonna get into USC because
(30:10):
they're like one of the top-ranked schools in the
country at that time for the higher ed program.
And I was like whatever blah blah blah.
Tell me when I get notified thatI got accepted after I thought
it was going to go to USF. Yeah I got accepted and I was
like again I was right back at that.
I don't want to regret not taking this opportunity.
Yeah Dan. What's up with the bag?
(30:31):
Not like you know like it was very folks some love year with
This is damn. And so, I was like, I told my
job in three months, I'm leavingbecause I'm moving to La, cuz
I'm gonna I'm accepting. I was like, I'm accepting the
Masters, the program, and I'm leaving.
I'm going to go to USC. Yeah, and I loved and I, and it
(30:54):
was in that time in that space, right?
Like like being out of school for so long, right?
Like coming back it was a lot oflike imposter syndrome during
that time. Like, I learned like I learned,
I learned, I had generalized anxiety disorder and I learned
that I had ADHD. What's generalized anxiety
(31:15):
disorder is this anxiety that like creeps up on you and it's
just like chronic like you're going through it and you're like
why am I why do I feel like hella nervous what I feel hella
anxious why am I getting like itwill show up as insomnia for me.
Yeah and I didn't understand whyI like I was like what's wrong
with me? Like why can't I fall asleep?
Like I'm taking melatonin he nowthat I'm trying to like take
(31:36):
Seeing Ava I'm trying to smoke another like I cannot all
asleep. Like what's wrong with me?
And that's when that's when I just I was like you know what,
I'm like, I went to the therapist and the therapist was
like you should get tested like psychological testing and I was
like, I've never done that because in my family that means
you're crazy. Like they don't.
(31:56):
It's not like a normal. Like let's figure out what's
going on and that's when I foundout they're like, yeah, you have
generally incisor, you have ADHDand based on what you're telling
me about your experiences and undergrad.
Like I was like I never knew that.
I just thought I was tripping during like final season and
then I would finish and keep it moving.
Or that's normal right? Well, that's normal.
(32:16):
Yeah, so now that you have now that you're in your master's
program, what is the experience from your Masters in your
undergrad? Did you because you went from
like being the only Latinos in the program you will see.
I don't know. Enough about USC, you know.
It's in SoCal where there's you know, very large.
Relation of Latinos. But what is the population of
(32:38):
Latinos on campus and in the program?
Yeah, so that's like, it's still, it's really white saw
like, well, you gotta tell you, it's like, even though you were
so even though USC is in, in theheart of South Central, like,
it's right there in south-central really close to
downtown, right? And it's weird, it's very much a
(32:59):
Latino Hood, right? And more Central American than
anything, because I've lived there until just recently
raised. So So a lot of Salvadoran your
folks which I love because like that's just, you know, I grew up
with those people in the beta cells to me was like, I know
this kind of vibe I can get withthis, you know, I'll be alright.
But inside can track. Once you get on campus.
(33:19):
It's very white. It's very elitist because, you
know, you will see Praises itself on like being like a top
institution, blah, blah, blah like and I didn't get that
because I'm like, I'm not from here and then it clicked that oh
USC is like they want to be likeStanford and then it's UCLA.
And like Cal Berkeley, right? So like like those vibes.
(33:40):
Like that's what it is in LA to UCLA and USC.
And in the bay, it's Berkeley and Stanford like.
So the elitism was like, very real and so, like, that's why
like, I went through a lot of like, Stress and Anxiety.
And so, I had to when I got tested, they were like Gods
because of abanazar. Well, yeah, because I'm
first-gen, I don't know what thehell to do in this master's
(34:00):
program. I haven't been in school in like
years and still like to go back and start writing papers all
over. Over again.
Like I don't know about this life so it was it was definitely
a process but like I did like I actively seek out Cooney that so
like I joined a fraternity in myfirst semester which I was like,
I'm so crazy like I would never go through a process.
(34:21):
I would never go through doing that again.
Because it was so time-consumingbecause I had two internships, I
was taking three classes and I was going through my process to
become part of a fraternity and I was like, there's like no time
to sleep and rest. You might think but I found my
comunidad. So like I stuck to that and then
(34:42):
I did my thing. Yeah.
That's what I was going to ask you next because I feel that at
least in my experience, undergrad and Masters graduate
program are very different. Yeah.
That's they have a diverse, right?
I know a lot of people there from the bay.
There's a lot of people from spoke out to and all over, but
like you said it's very diverse.I didn't have a problem, right?
(35:03):
It's like living in EPA South City, all that Afraid to say.
No. And then I went to my master's
program and I'm like, damn, not gonna beat up in here.
Like, what the hell? I didn't really trip off it and
then it wasn't until later on atyou, I figured out like what I
was searching for was a culture of belonging here, I'm saying
like I realize that I did need that letting me that like I
(35:24):
needed that you know community of Latin X individuals who look
like me who have shared experiences perspective of us.
Right? And so it sounds like you act,
you knew right away like hold upa second like I'm gonna need to
find something here if I'm goingto get through this program.
(35:46):
So like what advice would you give to someone?
If they're the only Latino Latina and eggs that are in a
master's program? Because I, that's probably one
of the things that I get a lot is, I don't want to be here.
I'm going to drop out. I'm the only lat Not the
program. This and that is just.
So disheartening of how common that statement is as like boils
(36:06):
my blood. No, that's so real.
So I think what I would say, youknow, and like not to offend
anybody, but if you believe in like therapy, go to like, go to
therapy because that's one thingthat I did, when I started was,
I was like, oh, I'm going to start going to therapy because
something tells me that I'm going to be like, yeah, I'm
going to be going through some ups and downs so therapy, right?
(36:28):
And then like, I I made the callto be like, let me go get tested
and figure out like I took advantage of that resource,
right? I wasn't, I was look.
I looked for Community outside of my program.
Yes, there were like Latinos Latinas in line next folks in my
program, but it was like really small.
So, I honestly like, it was, it was me who know there was a
(36:51):
couple and so, like, the black and brown kids got together
based. Yeah, I was about to say that
and so like my my Master's experience was Me and like my
homies and we were like Latino like next Latina or black and
like we it was like we would ride and die together, take the
classes together. If we could and support each
other on campus, like we would go to the cultural centers
(37:13):
because I worked at the LGBT Resource Center as I would have
liked my internships because in the hired program, you do a lot
of like, little internships like, gain experience.
And I would be like, oh, I have access to get into the space
after hours, so let's Y'all wantto come to campus and let's go
to the lgbtq resource center anddo work.
(37:33):
So, like my fraternity brothers would come with me, sometimes,
my cohort mates would come with me.
I've nowhere to go to, like, theblack student union, which is
on, like, the fifth, or sixth floor, because someone had
access to one of the conference rooms.
And like, that's where we were applying to Greta to PHD
programs. Wow.
Like so, it was like, we createdour networks, right?
In our communities to like certain to sustain ourselves to
(37:56):
survive and like yeah, yeah. And like my fraternity Brothers.
Nobody was in grad. School are Buddy was under like
all of them were undergrad. So for me I loved it because it
was like this is a space and place away from what I have to
do academically. Yeah I like so like I can leave
that over there and then I come to like cuz we ended up renting
(38:18):
a house the last year together, right?
They can I come home and it's myfraternity brothers, who I trust
and they're all in different spaces and different like majors
and stuff. So we can support each other and
just kick it and relax and not have to be caught up with the
the stress and anxiety of like All I have to do well because
that's another thing you will see is very much.
So like, I gotta do what I gottado.
(38:39):
Well like that academic competition was real.
And it's crazy because used later on start figuring out that
grades owe me shit, right? They don't if you want to apply
for scholarships and that's whatthey use as criterias.
Unfortunately, we can't change that, that's what it is.
But like psychologically, like mentally emotionally, get this
(39:00):
in your head grades. Only shit.
Like to this day when you apply to jobs, or when you apply two
spaces, nobody's asking me aboutmy GPA.
What grade did you get in this class?
How well do you Jenna School know?
At the end of the day, there were like, oh, what degree do
you Okay great and then you keepit moving, you know, they're
talking about work experience atthat point.
But yeah, it's interesting how you learn that on?
(39:22):
I learned that later on and actually I didn't learn that
until my grad my doctoral program because I was fixated on
grades and and in my undergrad and Masters because that's what
we're conditioned to do, right? I was on the Dean's List, I was
getting A's and B's. I was like, oh I have this.
I have that. And then you go on to your
doctoral program. One of my professors was like I
don't give a shit about grades. I just have to give them out
(39:42):
because it's been Ettore. But listen, you turn in the few
turning your work. You learn you participate.
You pass, you know? And I was just kind of like, oh
shit for real like even that I would like oh my God I'm so
sorry. I didn't get a chance.
She's like it's cool. Just turn it in when you can you
know. Yeah.
Like even that edition of like supporting me and not stressing
(40:06):
me out was even new to me. Like, what you're not tripping,
I'm not turning it in or you're not tripping off this or
tripping off that it's like, no.The fact that you participate,
you show up, you're learning. You're asking questions
demonstrating to me what you're getting out?
This course. Not this piece of paper, you
know, they never it is right? So I'm just kind of like, wow.
Okay, cool. So but then you said something
(40:30):
that was interesting. You started to apply to PHD
programs while you're in your master's program.
Yeah. Again, some people like myself
do it at the last minute, do it.Here's later when they're out of
school. All, you know, I wasn't, you
know, really considering a PhD Ilike like vaguely thought about
(40:51):
it. Like, oh that we try if I have a
PhD but like that's as far as itwent here, Jose like I didn't
really do anything. I was just trying to graduate
and I honestly thought I was going to end at my master's
program. So talk to me about what made
you decide to get a PhD. Like, if you have a particular
experience, or like now that youare in a higher ed program and
you're being exposed to all of these spaces, And theories and
(41:16):
pedagogies. Right now you're kind of like
hold up a second. Like there's more to this that I
want to kind of, you know, like you said, fulfill my purpose in.
Yeah. So for me, it's like I thought
when I, when I got to USC, I thought I was like, cool.
I'm gonna get this master's degree.
I'm going to learn about this higher ed like student affairs
(41:36):
Administration stuff. I'm just gonna work at a I'm
gonna work out of college. Yeah, you know and I'm going to
support kids and do my Well, in this program, I started like
seeing the realities of like what does it mean to work in
student affairs? How to put in a professional get
treated and I was like this is some BS.
Like they don't get paid enough.Like just didn't travel handle
(41:58):
like nobody's business at all hours because they're on salary
was not good salaries and I was like hell no.
I'm not like spending this moneyand taking this time to get this
degree to like to go to what I thought.
Thought was square one again like to go back to like no I
want to make boohoo money and I want to be comfortable and I
(42:18):
want to be able to so, you know,live my life.
And so like that first year I that's when it clicked for me
that I was like I want to be a broken because bravas have
autonomy. They have like like the freedom
to be like, this is what I'm going to focus on, I'm going to
work with these times, I'm goingto like, you know, whatever, I
mean, they're overworked regardless, but there's more
(42:40):
like I have autonomy to do this,this is what's gonna happen in
my Last bubble blah and I was like that's the best way that
I'm going to be able to like create impact.
Create change like research teaching students in the
University as opposed to just being like a support service
which is nothing wrong with that.
I just wait for for me to createthat kind of impact, right?
(43:03):
And resistance resistance to the, to the system, like I have
to be like a profit and not justlike a assistant professor, like
I want to be like an endowed chair, kind of Tenured
professor? Oh, that's like this is what I'm
doing like, okay, we're at the table.
Yeah, like I'm bringing this to the table.
Like this is where what? We're studying this is the
center. I'm going to create in the
(43:24):
future like that's how I want toshow up in Academia and so and I
want to publish and present withstudents and like, you know,
like that's how we're going to show up in Academia, and that
like the master's program exposed me to, like, you can go
this route to, it's going to be hard.
But if you like, if you're like about it and like, You know,
it's a you connect to it, do it.And for me, I've always been
(43:46):
like, if it's easy, if it cut like easy in the sense that I
can connect to it and I can makesense of it, then follow it
because that's like your intuition.
That's like all these things, right?
And so so yes. Why I applied to like eight
programs in my second year of the master's program and I got
into two And it was just like a process because you have to like
(44:12):
it's personal statement got to submit information, got to ask
for letters of Rec like it's like this whole thing and I was
like, I don't know what I'm doing and so people I started
hitting people up on Facebook and people started like meeting
with me on the phone. People started meeting with me
in person to look over like my personal statements.
Like this is what I would recommend below blind.
You know, you don't know what you don't know, and I didn't
(44:32):
know like what all this was about, you know.
And I think I was also in a space where like I want to get
in Good program, blah blah, blah.
And I didn't understand like what I what I really wanted
under needed and saw like I applied to like, programs that
are hella hard to get into were like, you have to come.
Unfortunately, you have to come with with like elitist, like
(44:55):
backgrounds to, right? So, like, I applied to Stanford,
I got tonight. I applied to Harvard.
I got tonight. I applied to Columbia got
tonight, and it's like your thumb, man.
Like, I'm applying to places where it's like, they Their own
people and just recycle in that way, they're not big on like
thinking outside the box and I was writing about work.
(45:16):
I want to do with queer like next like students which was not
trending which is not, you know,popping off or anything.
And so I got into two programs and then I ended up if that'd
the whole PhD is like a whole story in itself because I kind
of ended up transferring after ayear of my original Ph.D
program. So where are you now?
(45:38):
So now I'm at Claremont GraduateUniversity in Southern
California. So I'm literally, I'm part of
the, they call it the Claremont Consortium, The Claremont
colleges, so like Pomona Pitzer and all of that.
Those are the undergrad schools and then my school and KGI which
is like the science medical school, that my school is on
(46:01):
campus while kg eyes like a couple blocks away from the
actual campus. But yeah.
So that's where I go to school now, and I'm in In my, I'm
finishing up my fourth year of the PHD here at Claremont and
I'm a PhD candidate, so I'm justworking on my dissertation.
No more classes or anything? Oh yeah.
So I'm getting close like the mygoal is to wrap up by the end of
(46:24):
the Fall. So like by December, hopefully,
I'll be graduated by that time and tell us about your
dissertation. What's your dissertation topic
about? Yeah, so my dissertation.
I'm focusing on the lived experiences of queer and or
Brands that next 80 identifying graduate students.
And so the reason why I decided to do that, a because it
(46:45):
connects to like, who I am and how I show up, right?
And I think, you know, in a lot of ways, the personal is very
political in today's age, oh, and song like the personal is
political and I'm not here to beobjective because that's what
they say. And, you know, in social science
research, we need to be objective as researchers, epos.
When I'm like f that. It's very subjective and I'm
(47:07):
centering. We're queer and queer and trans
Latin next day, all lives because they're not centered or
talked about spaces. And so I'm going to do a whole
dissertation. And what belonging looks like
for these folks in their grad programs, through a hole through
the identity and Consciousness lens.
So through whole three, a pedagogy where we sent her queer
(47:28):
and trans like next day, all folks, we're going to go
through. What does it mean to be a grad
student here? How do you, how does how do you
live in this space? How do you exist?
How do Breathe and we did it through platicas because I was
like the best way to engage in this work is to have authentic
platicas, where we cut, we co-create.
Oh, none of these people are my participants there, my
(47:49):
co-creators and we like cry. We've cried we've laughed.
We've like, you know, said aftersystem we've supported each
other outside of these blood because was like how can like I
support you in your program. How can you like also like you
know, build community that and support me?
Me and my programmer, you know, so I've had platicas with 40
(48:12):
people and now I'm going throughlike coding, it analyzing it and
what are, you know, what are things that are coming up from
these plots because of yeah. So that's what I'm doing with my
dissertation. Wow.
So we were definitely meant to cross paths because my
dissertation is very similar to yours which is you know, culture
of belonging for Latinas in graduate school you know and
(48:36):
putting in my own personal experience.
I own lived experience and then not only that the gap of the
literature is where do you see me?
Gotta winces on there, where do you see Central Americans on it?
Right. So it's like identify with the
experiences of black women and women of color of Chicanos of
Mexicanas. But like where is the central
Americans, right? Worth of Salvadorian own doing
(48:57):
and you got a Wednesday Panamanian beliefs will study
call that? It's like you know where again
we're also conforming to other people's experiences, which we
have similarities but like It's still not my experience though.
Your Dome say like I have my ownexperience and so that is so
great. I'm glad that this generation
Our Generation, you know, with the experiences that we've had,
(49:18):
you know, with undergrad, graduate school and even the
whole process being first generation, it's like damn, all
those microaggressions. All of all these things that I
experienced was not supposed to happen to me, but we conformed
and we accept it and we shoved it under the rug because we
thought this was the process, you know?
Now that we're in this space of higher education.
(49:41):
Now we're like, oh shit doesn't have to be hard for the people
that are following us. It could be a lot easier for
queer and trans. Will be a lot easier for Latin
X. Could be a lot easier for women
of color. And so, let's create that
culture, right? Let's create, yeah.
That is supposed to exist and beauthentically available for
(50:01):
anyone who identifies in this space, you know?
Yeah, Anna. And I think that's a, that's
another like important piece, right?
Like Like that people don't liketo talk about or like, it's not
really like mentioned, but the higher you go, the less you see,
is the wider it gets. Oh yeah.
Like people making decisions like people at the top rail Akin
(50:21):
in like my Ph.D program. Like, there's very few of us
that are like, folks of color inthese spaces.
Right? And so and then the environment
tell the toxic, right? Because they create like and I
say this across the board, like least in the bubble that I'm in
higher education. It creates a very competitive
like environment, right? Like, you got to be the, it
(50:42):
Factor, the golden star, the one, it's never about being in
community and like, you know, through my experiences like
reflecting on myself, how I can be problematic and perpetuate a
lot of shit, right? Because I think of the day like
I also like like I am male presenting identify as cisgender
yes I'm queer and I'm hopeful right?
(51:03):
But I'm a man and there's privileges that come with that
regard. Alice, whether I say anything or
not your sexuality, yeah. Like whether or not like I still
will look like a man in spaces and I will have privileges over
like, over women of color rate, specifically, black and Latina
women have to navigate these spaces.
(51:23):
It's very fucked up. And so to me I'm like that's
like representation. And I tell like my family part
of it is like I need to be at the table so they can like
students can see look there's a there's a prophet Like Us in
this space. At the table to correct,
correct? Yeah, I mean that's all oh my
(51:44):
God, you are speaking my language because I feel like
that's all I thrive for, you know, is to I look at, I look at
anything. I look at a website.
I look at a program. I look at his face anything and
I'm like, who here? Looks like me and I instantly
get fucking frustrated when I'm like nobody.
(52:05):
Nobody here. Looks like me.
What the hell. And so I'm are, it's like
already. Become already with this like
Vibe, like okay, well then here's my chingon, a hat, it
would go like here, I am fighting for the space for us.
Someone that looks like us to beat the table for this and so
it's just you know it's it's disheartening you know and I
feel like I'm also going throughthat space right now with my
(52:25):
doctoral program being in a merger, a whole other podcast
for that trust and that will definitely come out because a
lot of people need to know what questions to ask and how to hold
higher. Education, Administration
accountable, yes, those spaces. But yesterday I was someone sent
(52:46):
me something. And I was looking at the Board
of Trustees and I'm like hold ona second and I know it's not
unique to probably any other institutions to but I'm like,
hold up a second. This new institution, it's going
to take over the entire Board ofTrustees.
There's not one Latin X latina/latino on this board.
Not one and this. Board of Trustees is going to
(53:10):
make decisions based on my educational path as a Latinas
first generation, you know? And so I was just, I was so
frustrated yesterday, I went on a whole tweet war.
Look at my tweet, look at my Twitter on Monday, doesn't
matter, because I was just kind of like that is ridiculous.
Like, I've been the way that I like to explain it is, you know,
I kind of was just like letting time pass, you know, I don't
(53:31):
work in higher ed so I don't know the process.
Yeah. I come more from like a
corporate America business lens.So, I'm I'm like okay give it
time. They're going to figure it out
and now that all these information is, you know, Kind
of coming up. I'm like, oh, okay.
Now the bear has been poked. Like I'm awake.
I'm out of hibernation. Yeah, I'm just going full-blown
(53:52):
status. Like, I have nothing to lose at
this point, you know? And if I'm not fighting for my
own education, what gives me theright to fight for someone
else's education, it starts where I'm at right now.
So I can continue to fight the inequities and obstacles that
exist for our own Community, youknow, so again, whole nother.
(54:12):
I don't know. It could be IG live.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I'll definitely be
something for sure. It's definitely calculated on
how it would come out. But this is a lot.
This is a lot of information that you shared with us.
And I really think it's very necessary for the listeners to
hear, you know, your experience your journey, what you're
(54:33):
navigating right now the work that you're doing and your
continue to do for our community.
Because you're right. It's not I don't hear queer.
And trans be talked about a lot,you know, if it's not In some
type of negative perspective, unfortunately, right.
And so, I love everything about counter storing, telling your
narrative, platicas co-creating,all that stuff, because we need
(54:57):
people that look like us at the table to speak for us at the
table. Not, you know, I'm saying.
And so, I feel like that's very important.
So, I, you know, I want to kind of end it here because I know
that we have a lot more to say, and I wanted to keep it You
know, towards graduate school and your experience and so
forth. But if you would like to share
(55:18):
with us where they can contact you, if they have any questions
or anything that you would like to share that you're working on
or maybe anything that you're collaborating with another
individual or Community, this isyour time to shine and let us
share that. Ya know, the first of all thank
you because you're spot-on, right?
I think we need to continue to push these boundaries and
(55:40):
disrupt these academic spaces with with like this, this in
itself was like a whole co-creation of this dope ass
blood because I reminiscing and understanding who we are how we
show up in spaces how to make meaning of it and how to move
forward, right. And I think, I think about like
what do I want to do is I move forward.
And so like I always tell people, I was just doing a
(56:02):
presentation earlier today for this group, at San Diego, State
University. And I was like, throughout this
whole process, right? The good, the bad, the messy,
I'm like, I do what I love with the people that Love is that
just gives it more me and it's not the academic way because the
Academic Way tells me, right? And tells us you got to publish
(56:23):
on your own, you got a present on your own.
You have to like be like the, you know, like the valedictorian
or like the it the golden star and I'm like, no, I want to work
in community with people. Like I want to be with people
and like, let's that's publishedtogether.
Let's go present these conferences together on our
radical work right on the way wesee and how we're making were
theorizing. We're creating our own little
(56:44):
Pedagogy wait and so so thank you because it's needed, right?
I think about how can I like I've been thinking about what
are ways that I can like dive into start creating podcasts like
of my of my own and just reflectand share my experiences write
and share my cheese, man. We call it ethical cheese me,
right? We started saying that mess like
couple years ago. We're like this is our ethical
(57:05):
cheese man. What we're sharing this stuff to
uplift, each other to warn each other, right?
So like support and sustain eachother in these academic spaces
because they were never meant for us.
Whoever's listening, whoever he,you are as much as you think the
system, the educational system is here for you.
They were never created from your you to thrive.
(57:25):
They were created on the backs of indigenous, folks of black,
folks for the white man to succeed.
Correct? Because all these ivy league
institutions are carving, cutouts of the English.
Elitist institutions like King'sCollege Cambridge, and all that
Miss, right? And so it's a replica.
Of this like internalized colonization and racism that
(57:47):
exists. So higher ed is definitely in
the same FM, boat. And so we need to like continue
to push and say no I'm showing up through an asset-based, lens
doing work that's going to for me in the communities that I
want to be with. So I think the only thing that I
wanna or the thing that I'm really excited about right now
(58:08):
is we're in, like, in drafts of publishing because like, we're
going, Can force. So they call it like revise and
resubmit. And so, we're working on this
whole article about queer platicas, and how they're
different from the traditional platicas and education through
like doctora fierros, and the government.
(58:30):
Because they talk about it, theytalk about plastic as amusing as
using it as method or methodology to do research rate.
And that's what I've been using like in my, in my dissertation
and then like, other work that I've published.
But right now me and Two of my Icall them my scholar sister.
So dr. Angel Gonzalez.
And dr. Robert Orozco we're like we're
(58:52):
writing and developing and like pushing these boundaries of
platica research and we're like,these are queer platicas and
they should be done for queer people, by queer people to be in
community. Correct.
And so, I'm excited for that. I don't know when it's going to
come out because we're like, going back and forth right to
like, make sure we have everything like set up a blah
blah. We have great like editors
though that are doing like, Likeamazing, like they're like
(59:15):
amazing doctor has the like I'm a fan girl of life in the work
that they do and stuff. So I'm just I'm grateful to be
in that space to learn from them.
And yeah, that should be coming out.
Hopefully sometime this year, will definitely keep us informed
or keep me informed, and I will share on the platforms and where
they can access the article and support you and support
everything. You're doing with the bloody
(59:37):
guys and stuff. But thank you so much set of
y'all. I really appreciate it.
Myself City EPA, brother Jalisco, all that we have so
many A man within our own family.
And I again, I cannot thank you enough for you sharing the
story. You know, just to give you a
quick little history before we end off, you know, when I
started letting us with Masters,you know, it's just, I identify
(59:59):
with Athena and I have a master's degree.
So I wanted to just continue, you know, assisting and helping
women and Latinas get into graduate school.
And then I had, you know, the guys latino man, you know, queer
all that. Talk to me like, hey, I got a I
got a master's to like, what's up?
Let's share our story and I said, you know what, you're
absolutely right, let's go aheadand do that, you know?
(01:00:21):
And so season two is definitely dedicated, you know, just bring
more diversity into the space, you know.
So so we can hear these stories and, and and, you know, get some
type of motivation and inspiration from what you've
experienced, right? That is similar to someone else
that's listening to the podcast.So, I want to thank my guest.
(01:00:44):
He'll Gonzalez. Future future looked, or we here
talking about queer and trans what that he has space.
So catch him at the table for sure.
And then thank you everybody forlistening to the Latinas with
Masters podcast. I appreciate all your love and
support and I will talk to you later.
Alright, peace out. Bye.
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