March 25, 2025 • 26 mins
Nicole Stanley shares her journey from experiencing financial panic attacks to paying off $30,000 in debt with her husband in just 10 months and eventually building a quarter-million-dollar net worth on an average income of $56,000.
• Using therapy to address financial anxiety while simultaneously taking financial education courses
• Supplemented income through various side hustles like flipping furniture, nannying, and teaching English online
• Identifies five types of financial problems: spending, fixed expenses, income, money management, and financial strategy issues
• Views financial stress as a positive indicator that there's an opportunity waiting to be discovered
• Recommends creating a "spending plan" rather than a "budget" to reduce resistance and negative associations
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Violeta (00:01):
Hola mi gente, welcome to the money chisme podcast,
where we spill the real chismeon building wealth without the
bullshit.
Whether you're trying to invest, grow that side, hustle finally
get your money right or, myfavorite, buy rental properties,
you're in the right place.
I'm your host, violeta, afirst-gen Mexican immigrant real
(00:26):
estate investor, entrepreneurand your financial hype woman.
Get ready for tips, tricks andexpert advice straight from
nuestra comunidad, porque eldinero es power and we're here
to claim it.
Don't forget you can alwaysfind helpful resources down in
the show notes and indescriptions, so make sure you
(00:46):
check that out.
Hola, welcome to Money Chisme,where we talk about personal
finance, investing,entrepreneurship and really well
, it's in the name Money Chisme.
I am Violeta, and with me todayis financial coach and founder
of Arise Financial, nicoleStanley.
Hi, nicole, thank you so muchfor joining me here today.
Nicole (01:10):
Thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Violeta (01:13):
Yeah, yeah.
So again, we like to share ourstories, our financial journeys,
because I like to hear from,like when people were like
struggling, I not like that.
I I like to hear it.
But it's nice to um people tosee the journey because, like,
people hear of the end, like thesuccess and everything, and so
(01:37):
it makes it feel like I can'treach that or whatever.
Like it's it's unachievable forme, I'm never gonna get out of
this debt whatever, and so Ialways like to bring people here
to share their story, and so Iwant to start off with that on
your financial journey.
Nicole (01:59):
Yeah, so I started my financial journey when I first
got married.
I got married really young andgrowing up I grew up in a Puerto
Rican, american household.
My dad and mom came to thestates or stateside when my
sister older sister was a baby,and so my dad always told the
story of how he came to theStates with $20 in his pocket
(02:20):
and he had to get a pay advanceon his first paycheck so he
could buy diapers and pizza forhis young family.
And so my dad instilled a lotof hard work and pride into me
as a kid, but he also,unknowingly, kind of instilled
some fear, because he wanted meto be either an engineer like
him, a doctor or an attorney.
(02:40):
Those were the three options.
And he had told me that, youknow, the American dream is
harder than ever to reach, andso you need to make good money.
And so when I first introducedto him my boyfriend, who became
my fiance, who was making 26,000a year we were college, you
know, sweethearts my dad had alot of alarm bells go off.
(03:02):
And so I remember telling himyou know, money didn't matter
and it was all going to be okay,and I was right, but I was also
wrong, and so my dad.
I remember him driving methrough some of the rough parts
of town and telling me that Iwas going to live there if I
continued down this path.
And so you know, I thought itwouldn't affect me, but I
(03:26):
actually started to realize thatit did.
So when I was planning mywedding with my husband, I
started to get regular panicattacks looking at our budget,
and I remember telling him hey,you know, if we can't afford
this wedding where our friendsare doing the flowers and baking
the cake and bartending, howare we going to afford a life?
At that time we had $30,000worth of debt.
(03:48):
We were just starting out.
We didn't have an inheritance,anything like that or anything
to really get us started.
It was just him and I, and so Idid two things at that time.
The first was I started goingto therapy because I realized I
had a lot of stress and anxiety.
But the second was we startedto take financial courses
together and start to geteducated about personal finance.
(04:08):
So once we started to learnmore about budgeting and
financial goals and planning, weended up taking action quite
fast.
So we ended up paying off over$30,000 worth of debt in our
first 10 months of marriage ornot marriage, but in our first
10 months together, where we ornot marriage, but in our first
10 months together where we werebudgeting.
And then we ended up over thenext few years, building up our
(04:30):
cumulative net worth to over aquarter of a million dollars,
and our average annual salaryduring that time was $56,000 a
year.
And so I share that, becausethat was a really big aha moment
for me, where I realized thatit wasn't just about how much
money I made to make to havefinancial security, but it was
also about the financial skillsthat I started to build.
(04:50):
And so, before I knew financialcoaching was an industry or it
was even a thing, I just startedhelping friends and family for
free.
So I did that for a few yearsbecause I saw that a lot of
people felt like their financialgoals weren't or financial
problems weren't fixable forwhatever reason, and so I liked
getting in there, helping peoplemake a plan so they could start
(05:11):
to fix their financial problemsand feel less financial stress.
So that is how I ended upstarting my business in 2020.
And since then, I've been ableto help over 700, mostly
Americans achieve more financialsuccess, stability and
confidence.
So that's a little bit about mystory and where it started from
.
Violeta (05:29):
That's awesome that you were able to kind of, first of
all, that you went to therapyoff the bat.
Like I didn't start going totherapy till like maybe two
years ago, and it was just when,like I started having like a
real decline, when, like, Istarted having like a real
decline and you were able torecognize that pretty off the
(05:50):
bat that like, hey, I got somesome anxiety going on from
finances and I didn't realizethat that is what stemmed as
well with the anxiety that Ihave now, the instability and
things like that.
So it's pretty cool that youfigured that out off the bat and
that y'all, um, y'all startedto take action and created a
plan and started, uh, learningabout finance.
(06:13):
Uh, and it started, like I,because I think, um, I saw
recently, uh, somewhere where,like that's where people learn
most of the their uh finances,how to manage their money and
everything is through friends.
So you were that friend, youwere over there, like, hey, you
know, I learned something newand I'm going to share it and I
(06:34):
feel like that's where I'm atright now.
I was like I have this need.
I see my family I have an uncleright now that I'm like I need
to get in.
I need to call him and tell him, but I also had to know that,
like you know, all in with timetoo, because he might not be
ready.
You know, and so that's awesomethat y'all overcame a lot of
(06:58):
debt, that in 10 months that's.
That's a big deal, thirtythousand.
And so I kind of want to go inthat and go over like what are
some of the steps that y'alltook?
Nicole (07:10):
Yeah.
So when it comes to paying offthat amount of debt really
quickly, I know that we did itin a way that was a bit
unsustainable, so I don'tusually recommend this way, but
we lived very simply in ourfirst year of marriage this way.
But we lived very simply in ourfirst year of marriage and my
goal was that I was working acold call entry-level sales job,
(07:31):
which was absolutelysoul-sucking, Cold calling,
right All the things.
But I had a goal in mind.
I knew that every commissioncheck I could put towards debt
and I was very motivated by thatgoal, so much so that the
second we made enough money sothat we could pay off all of our
debt, I quit.
So it was a very not glamorousjourney of living really simply
(07:55):
as well as making some extramoney by working a cold call
sales job.
And then throughout the rest ofour financial journey, when we
were single income most of it,with my husband being the main
income earner at a church job,we did a lot of odds and ends.
So I picked up some nanny daysfrom a friend who needed
(08:17):
childcare.
I flipped furniture on Facebookmarketplace.
I taught English to Chinesekids online so that I could make
some extra money, like whateverthose little extra things you
could do.
I was doing them and that was ahuge part, I think, in us being
able to find that extra moneywas making it if we didn't have
(08:39):
it.
So doing those extra things,making a budget and then living
really simply.
Violeta (08:52):
Yeah, I find that's more effective finding ways to
kind of like, bring in moneyrather than to just live
frugally Like it's.
It's especially when you'realready kind of like at kind of
like where you're only payingthe basics already, so it's like
okay, what more can I cut backto be able to pay this debt and
everything so like.
The only other thing is to findways which flip furniture is
(09:14):
one of the things I'm interestedin doing.
So that's interesting that yousaid that I was like oh,
whenever I have some time, but Iwant to do it as a as a fun
hobby Cause I think it would bea fun to do, um, but yeah, those
are several ways that you canuh find when you where you have
some extra time, and it doesn'thave to be something like you
(09:37):
have to do like long-term.
It's just like you said you hadthis goal that you wanted to um
, pay off this 30,000 debt, thisgoal that you wanted to pay off
this 30,000 debt, and then,once you got that done, then you
quit your, your sales job andeverything, and so that's one
thing that a lot of people failto realize.
It can be a temporary thing.
(09:57):
We're not saying like go outthere and constantly do this,
but I mean you could switch thenlater to like turning that into
investing and things like that.
But I want to talk a little bit,give a little bit tips on
budgeting, because I guessthat's a new concept for a lot
of people that barely starttheir financial journey.
(10:19):
When I first had to start abudget, I didn't know what to do
, and so I wanted to hear your,your tips and how you took that
on on creating your budget.
I didn't know what to do, andso I wanted to hear your tips
and how you took that on oncreating your budget.
Nicole (10:29):
Yeah.
So when it comes to making abudget, I always like to remind
people that you want to makeyour budget with your goal in
mind in terms of what is theproblem that you're hoping to
fix with a spending plan, whichis what a budget is.
A budget is just a way to make aplan for your money.
It's not a way for you torestrict yourself or feel overly
(10:50):
burdened or overwhelmed in yourlife, and so a lot of people
make a budget before they knowwhat problem they're trying to
fix.
And so if you're listeningright now and you've made a
budget, it hasn't worked, oryou're making it for the first
time.
I want you to ask yourself whatis the problem you're trying to
fix?
Because every financial problemis fixable, but you want to
(11:14):
make sure you're fixing theright one.
So every problem falls into oneof five categories or a mix of
them, and the first is youeither have a true spending
problem, meaning you spend morethan you're able to based on
your income and your expenses.
A lot of people think they havethis problem, but it's not
always their problem.
The second is that it can be atrue fixed expense problem, so
housing, healthcare, childcarethis is often a very real
(11:34):
problem for people, especiallywith the cost of living today.
The third problem is that it'sa true income problem, meaning
no matter how much we lower yourexpenses, how much we lower
your spending, then math won'tmath, and so knowing if this is
the problem you're trying to fixis really important.
The fourth problem is that youcan have a true money management
problem, meaning you makeenough money, your expenses are
(11:57):
all right, your spending is allright, but you have no system,
which is the budget or thespending plan, to hold you
accountable or to keep the moneyfrom just leaving you, and so a
money management problem isoften a problem for a lot of
Americans.
The fifth problem is that youcan have a financial strategy
problem, meaning the goal thatyou have is not actually the
right goal based on where youare financially.
(12:19):
So this is an example of youknow, maybe, an elderly or an
older couple who isn't investingat all and they have all their
money in cash.
That would be a financialstrategy problem, right?
Or they are putting all theirmoney towards debt.
Some person is putting alltheir money towards paying off
debt, but they have no savings,so every time they have a
financial trouble or emergency,they have to go further into
(12:42):
debt.
That would be an example of afinancial strategy problem.
To go further into debt, thatwould be an example of a
financial strategy problem.
And so your mindset affects allof these.
But when you make a budget, youneed to know which of these is
your actual problem.
Does that make sense?
And so budgeting with a goal inmind makes it less about the
process of planning yourspending and more about solving
(13:04):
a problem, which I find actuallykeeps people motivated for
longer.
The second tip that I wouldgive is that you should automate
as much as possible if you can,because if you take the choice
out of your financial goals andyou just make it happen, you're
going to have a lot more success.
Violeta (13:20):
Two of those that you mentioned were the main causes
of when I first started myfinancial journey.
One, I just wasn't tracking mymoney.
It's like, yeah, I was like,look, every month I was like
what did I spend my money onthis month?
Like I have the income, andit's more.
It was, you know, more thanenough to cover my expenses.
(13:43):
I mean I was single with justlike basic bills, right, and,
but I didn't know.
And then once I started likebudgeting, it got better, and
one of the good things I did waslike to start automating.
But then after that is like,okay, so I know I'm sending
money, sending it to aninvestment account, you know
(14:05):
which.
Later on I found out I was notactually putting it into a right
stock.
So I, the step was there, but,like you said, the goal, uh,
then I had like the goalstrategy, like the whole
strategy.
Um, I'm sending money to places, but it's not really doing what
it needed to do, and, and sothat was a hard lesson learned
(14:27):
that I had to figure out and,you know, fixed it.
So now, now, now my money isstrategically being invested in
places.
Didn't really think of breakingit down into those five issues,
and it's true, like you have allall of those that affect how
(14:50):
you manage your money or, uh,your budget differently, and so
you do have to create adifferent plan for each one,
because, yeah, if you don't haveenough money, it doesn't make
sense to like then budget for ainvestment or anything like that
.
So, yeah, I agree this kind ofthe same way with real estate
investing.
(15:10):
I would say, like you know,find your goal first and then
create your plan from there.
And so one of the things that,when I went to like your website
and you know through followingyou, I like that you don't cater
to, like the whole frugalityand like the stress because
creating a budget which I didnotice that you also called it a
(15:33):
money plan, which I like tocall it I think it's like a mind
trick for myself that insteadof thinking of it as a budget, I
just think of it as a moneyplan, I just think of it as a
(16:02):
money plan is like finding waysto create a spending plan that
works for you, and financialanxiety and that stress that
comes up when you start thinkingabout like oh my God, I got to
look at where my money is goingand all that, and facing the
reality of what's going on withthat.
Nicole (16:18):
Yeah, I love to just remind people that our stress
about money is not something tobe afraid of.
It's actually a really greatindicator that there's
opportunity that you haven'tfound out yet, right?
So if you feel financial stress, it's because your body is
trying to tell you thatsomething isn't right, and so
often a lot of people can feelthat they want to avoid that or
(16:40):
that they just need to ignorethat, but what happens is the
stress gets bigger, the worrygets bigger, and it's because
we're trying our bodies aretrying to get us to focus on the
thing that's bringing stressinto our life.
And so, if you're feelingstressed, think of it less as a
bad thing and more of it like amystery that needs to be solved
Right, and so it's nothing to beafraid of.
(17:03):
Like I said, every financialproblem is fixable.
Go into looking at your moneywith that mentality, even if you
don't know how to fix it yet,or you don't know how you're
going to solve it.
That's going to be the key tofeeling less stressed.
So, really, if we know what theproblem that you're overcoming
(17:30):
is and we start making a plan,you're going to notice that,
even before your plan happens,your stress is going to go down,
because there's a difference inknowing okay, I know what I'm
going to do one, two, three andI know this is going to help me
move forward here.
Right, when we see the fullplan in front of us, our stress
(17:53):
will naturally go down, andthat's what a lot of people
don't realize about financiallystarting to make a plan is that
it's not just achieving it, it'seven making the plan.
That's going to see that stressgo down, and so I would always
encourage someone that, if youfeel like it's going to be too
much for you, I want you toremember that you're really
(18:15):
smart, like you're super smart.
You can overcome anything.
You can overcome many thingsyou already have in your life,
so why not just make yourfinances a part of one of those
things that you've overcame?
Violeta (18:30):
finance is a part of one of those things that you've
overcame.
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad.
Yeah, that's definitely uhsomething to to remember is like
you've got, you've gone throughlife and accomplished several
things uh, and overcome a lot ofthings.
Especially, uh, just especiallynow, with all the the high cost
of living and everything likethat.
It's like, yeah, you uh can getthis done.
It's just like this resistancethat we all feel at the very
(18:54):
beginning, like I avoidedlooking at my budget or creating
a budget for so long because Iwas like, whatever, as long as
my bills paid or whatever.
And then after that I saw like,okay, where's my money going?
Then I just was afraid to look.
But then, now that I overcamethat mentality and I have my
(19:17):
plan and everything, I I feel insome way, like you said.
It's like now I feel like Ihave something to do.
I was like all right, so nowevery month is easy.
And my husband had to overcomethat mentality as well, because
he had a lot of uh a debt aswell.
He had like about 40k of thatand he did the same thing.
(19:37):
He just did not look at it.
He just was like okay, I'mgonna send money here, pay it
off.
And, like, once I got with him,then we sat down all right, we
actually have to create a planon how you're going to manage
your money.
So now he's not as scared tolook at his.
He still gets a little bitanxiety.
It's just kind of like that.
(19:58):
Something that kind of doesn'treally go away.
You have to slowly overcome andmanage.
And so now he's more consistentand able to look at our budgets
and how he does our togetherbudget and his individual budget
.
But he's more confident in thatnow.
So it does take time and it is,you know, something that you
(20:20):
have to just like talk yourselfthrough.
And I always say, give yourselfgrace, like looking back
through your mistakes, that yourpast money mistakes, or just,
um, you feel like if only I knewthis.
Or I always try to like stopmyself from going down that
route of like, oh, if I hadknown this I would be here and
(20:41):
blah, blah, blah.
Um, you just gotta like, youjust gotta go, go with it and
give yourself the grace, likeyou didn't know at that at that
time, but now you know.
So now you move forward, youhave your plan and all that, and
so, um, just wanted to end with, like what final tips do you
have for those that are tryingto, especially now during the
(21:04):
time of this recording?
We just got through the seasonof the holidays and so there's a
little bit of anxiety that'sprobably coming up of like
scared to look at your, youraccounts from the holidays
spending, and just what are yourfinal thoughts and tips for
someone that's going throughthat?
Nicole (21:24):
Yeah, if you find yourself scared or wanting to
avoid your money, what I alwayslike to remind people is the
problem is bigger when you avoidit.
The longer you wait, the biggerit becomes right.
The more debt you have, themore interest you have.
And so the best way if you wantto feel less stressed about
your money is to start bylooking at it and not to blame
(21:48):
yourself or to be overlycritical.
Imagine if you're looking at afriend in this situation, a
friend that you love, a friendthat you respect.
Try to look at it through thoseeyes, because chances are you
would be a lot quicker to giveyour friend grace, a lot quicker
to not blame your friend or behypercritical.
(22:10):
And so if you can look at itlike that, you'll find that
maybe it's not as scary as youthink.
Maybe, too, if you can imaginethat it's someone else, you can
start to think of ideas that youhaven't thought of before.
But it will get better.
And it can get better, but itcan't get better if you don't
start by looking at it.
Violeta (22:29):
So give yourself that grace, but yeah, and with that
like, uh, how can they work withyou and how can you uh, what
kind of services do you providefor someone that is looking to
uh start?
You know managing their money.
Nicole (22:46):
Yeah.
So if you are somebody who'sinspired by the story, our
conversation, and you're readyto take action in your life, I
always encourage people to startby listening to everything free
and putting that into practice.
So listening to books, podcasts, and you can also use the free
resources we offer.
So we're are super active onInstagram, on our website, as
(23:06):
well as our newsletter, tiktok,facebook threads, and we host a
lot of free classes so that youcan start to get educated about
where you are financially, whatyour next step should be, what
your one financial goal shouldbe.
So we host two free classeswhere we help you identify which
financial goal you should befocused on right now.
And then our second class isaround helping women understand
(23:29):
how the investing world works.
I know a lot of women feeloverwhelmed by that, so that
class is called investingdemystified.
We also have free resources onour website, which is www.
Arisefinancial, where you canstart to take an action five
minute money moves that canreally improve your financial
life in under five minutes a day.
And if you find that freeresources aren't cutting it, you
(23:51):
aren't making the progress youwant to make.
You still feel stressed aboutmoney.
Consider working one-on-onewith one of our coaches.
You can apply for financialcoaching at arisefinancial and
we'll have a conversation withyou for free to talk about where
you're at, where you want to be, and point you in the right
direction to see if we're a goodfit for you at where you want
to be and point you in the rightdirection to see if we're a
(24:11):
good fit for you.
Violeta (24:14):
Awesome, yeah, I went through your website.
It's awesome Like there's a lotof a lot of stuff on there that
that I will have linked downbelow.
So definitely check out and thefree resources and glad that
you're out here like helpingpeople and, you know, get their
money right and stuff.
So thank you so much for comingon the show and sharing your
(24:34):
story and motivating and showingpeople that it can be done,
cause that's what I like sharingthis, these stories, like I
mentioned earlier, was that itmakes it seem more doable and
more achievable and providingresources as well.
So thank you so much for comingon here.
Nicole (24:54):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Violeta (24:56):
All right.
Well, that's it for thisepisode.
I will see everyone in the nextone.
Bye.
Hola mi gente, welcome to the money chisme podcast,
where we spill the real chismeon building wealth without the
bullshit.
Whether you're trying to invest, grow that side, hustle finally
get your money right or, myfavorite, buy rental properties,
you're in the right place.
I'm your host, violeta, afirst-gen Mexican immigrant real
(00:26):
estate investor, entrepreneurand your financial hype woman.
Get ready for tips, tricks andexpert advice straight from
nuestra comunidad, porque eldinero es power and we're here
to claim it.
Don't forget you can alwaysfind helpful resources down in
the show notes and indescriptions, so make sure you
(00:46):
check that out.
Hola, welcome to Money Chisme,where we talk about personal
finance, investing,entrepreneurship and really well
, it's in the name Money Chisme.
I am Violeta, and with me todayis financial coach and founder
of Arise Financial, nicoleStanley.
Hi, nicole, thank you so muchfor joining me here today.
Nicole (01:10):
Thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Violeta (01:13):
Yeah, yeah.
So again, we like to share ourstories, our financial journeys,
because I like to hear from,like when people were like
struggling, I not like that.
I I like to hear it.
But it's nice to um people tosee the journey because, like,
people hear of the end, like thesuccess and everything, and so
(01:37):
it makes it feel like I can'treach that or whatever.
Like it's it's unachievable forme, I'm never gonna get out of
this debt whatever, and so Ialways like to bring people here
to share their story, and so Iwant to start off with that on
your financial journey.
Nicole (01:59):
Yeah, so I started my financial journey when I first
got married.
I got married really young andgrowing up I grew up in a Puerto
Rican, american household.
My dad and mom came to thestates or stateside when my
sister older sister was a baby,and so my dad always told the
story of how he came to theStates with $20 in his pocket
(02:20):
and he had to get a pay advanceon his first paycheck so he
could buy diapers and pizza forhis young family.
And so my dad instilled a lotof hard work and pride into me
as a kid, but he also,unknowingly, kind of instilled
some fear, because he wanted meto be either an engineer like
him, a doctor or an attorney.
(02:40):
Those were the three options.
And he had told me that, youknow, the American dream is
harder than ever to reach, andso you need to make good money.
And so when I first introducedto him my boyfriend, who became
my fiance, who was making 26,000a year we were college, you
know, sweethearts my dad had alot of alarm bells go off.
(03:02):
And so I remember telling himyou know, money didn't matter
and it was all going to be okay,and I was right, but I was also
wrong, and so my dad.
I remember him driving methrough some of the rough parts
of town and telling me that Iwas going to live there if I
continued down this path.
And so you know, I thought itwouldn't affect me, but I
(03:26):
actually started to realize thatit did.
So when I was planning mywedding with my husband, I
started to get regular panicattacks looking at our budget,
and I remember telling him hey,you know, if we can't afford
this wedding where our friendsare doing the flowers and baking
the cake and bartending, howare we going to afford a life?
At that time we had $30,000worth of debt.
(03:48):
We were just starting out.
We didn't have an inheritance,anything like that or anything
to really get us started.
It was just him and I, and so Idid two things at that time.
The first was I started goingto therapy because I realized I
had a lot of stress and anxiety.
But the second was we startedto take financial courses
together and start to geteducated about personal finance.
(04:08):
So once we started to learnmore about budgeting and
financial goals and planning, weended up taking action quite
fast.
So we ended up paying off over$30,000 worth of debt in our
first 10 months of marriage ornot marriage, but in our first
10 months together, where we ornot marriage, but in our first
10 months together where we werebudgeting.
And then we ended up over thenext few years, building up our
(04:30):
cumulative net worth to over aquarter of a million dollars,
and our average annual salaryduring that time was $56,000 a
year.
And so I share that, becausethat was a really big aha moment
for me, where I realized thatit wasn't just about how much
money I made to make to havefinancial security, but it was
also about the financial skillsthat I started to build.
(04:50):
And so, before I knew financialcoaching was an industry or it
was even a thing, I just startedhelping friends and family for
free.
So I did that for a few yearsbecause I saw that a lot of
people felt like their financialgoals weren't or financial
problems weren't fixable forwhatever reason, and so I liked
getting in there, helping peoplemake a plan so they could start
(05:11):
to fix their financial problemsand feel less financial stress.
So that is how I ended upstarting my business in 2020.
And since then, I've been ableto help over 700, mostly
Americans achieve more financialsuccess, stability and
confidence.
So that's a little bit about mystory and where it started from
.
Violeta (05:29):
That's awesome that you were able to kind of, first of
all, that you went to therapyoff the bat.
Like I didn't start going totherapy till like maybe two
years ago, and it was just when,like I started having like a
real decline, when, like, Istarted having like a real
decline and you were able torecognize that pretty off the
(05:50):
bat that like, hey, I got somesome anxiety going on from
finances and I didn't realizethat that is what stemmed as
well with the anxiety that Ihave now, the instability and
things like that.
So it's pretty cool that youfigured that out off the bat and
that y'all, um, y'all startedto take action and created a
plan and started, uh, learningabout finance.
(06:13):
Uh, and it started, like I,because I think, um, I saw
recently, uh, somewhere where,like that's where people learn
most of the their uh finances,how to manage their money and
everything is through friends.
So you were that friend, youwere over there, like, hey, you
know, I learned something newand I'm going to share it and I
(06:34):
feel like that's where I'm atright now.
I was like I have this need.
I see my family I have an uncleright now that I'm like I need
to get in.
I need to call him and tell him, but I also had to know that,
like you know, all in with timetoo, because he might not be
ready.
You know, and so that's awesomethat y'all overcame a lot of
(06:58):
debt, that in 10 months that's.
That's a big deal, thirtythousand.
And so I kind of want to go inthat and go over like what are
some of the steps that y'alltook?
Nicole (07:10):
Yeah.
So when it comes to paying offthat amount of debt really
quickly, I know that we did itin a way that was a bit
unsustainable, so I don'tusually recommend this way, but
we lived very simply in ourfirst year of marriage this way.
But we lived very simply in ourfirst year of marriage and my
goal was that I was working acold call entry-level sales job,
(07:31):
which was absolutelysoul-sucking, Cold calling,
right All the things.
But I had a goal in mind.
I knew that every commissioncheck I could put towards debt
and I was very motivated by thatgoal, so much so that the
second we made enough money sothat we could pay off all of our
debt, I quit.
So it was a very not glamorousjourney of living really simply
(07:55):
as well as making some extramoney by working a cold call
sales job.
And then throughout the rest ofour financial journey, when we
were single income most of it,with my husband being the main
income earner at a church job,we did a lot of odds and ends.
So I picked up some nanny daysfrom a friend who needed
(08:17):
childcare.
I flipped furniture on Facebookmarketplace.
I taught English to Chinesekids online so that I could make
some extra money, like whateverthose little extra things you
could do.
I was doing them and that was ahuge part, I think, in us being
able to find that extra moneywas making it if we didn't have
(08:39):
it.
So doing those extra things,making a budget and then living
really simply.
Violeta (08:52):
Yeah, I find that's more effective finding ways to
kind of like, bring in moneyrather than to just live
frugally Like it's.
It's especially when you'realready kind of like at kind of
like where you're only payingthe basics already, so it's like
okay, what more can I cut backto be able to pay this debt and
everything so like.
The only other thing is to findways which flip furniture is
(09:14):
one of the things I'm interestedin doing.
So that's interesting that yousaid that I was like oh,
whenever I have some time, but Iwant to do it as a as a fun
hobby Cause I think it would bea fun to do, um, but yeah, those
are several ways that you canuh find when you where you have
some extra time, and it doesn'thave to be something like you
(09:37):
have to do like long-term.
It's just like you said you hadthis goal that you wanted to um
, pay off this 30,000 debt, thisgoal that you wanted to pay off
this 30,000 debt, and then,once you got that done, then you
quit your, your sales job andeverything, and so that's one
thing that a lot of people failto realize.
It can be a temporary thing.
(09:57):
We're not saying like go outthere and constantly do this,
but I mean you could switch thenlater to like turning that into
investing and things like that.
But I want to talk a little bit,give a little bit tips on
budgeting, because I guessthat's a new concept for a lot
of people that barely starttheir financial journey.
(10:19):
When I first had to start abudget, I didn't know what to do
, and so I wanted to hear your,your tips and how you took that
on on creating your budget.
I didn't know what to do, andso I wanted to hear your tips
and how you took that on oncreating your budget.
Nicole (10:29):
Yeah.
So when it comes to making abudget, I always like to remind
people that you want to makeyour budget with your goal in
mind in terms of what is theproblem that you're hoping to
fix with a spending plan, whichis what a budget is.
A budget is just a way to make aplan for your money.
It's not a way for you torestrict yourself or feel overly
(10:50):
burdened or overwhelmed in yourlife, and so a lot of people
make a budget before they knowwhat problem they're trying to
fix.
And so if you're listeningright now and you've made a
budget, it hasn't worked, oryou're making it for the first
time.
I want you to ask yourself whatis the problem you're trying to
fix?
Because every financial problemis fixable, but you want to
(11:14):
make sure you're fixing theright one.
So every problem falls into oneof five categories or a mix of
them, and the first is youeither have a true spending
problem, meaning you spend morethan you're able to based on
your income and your expenses.
A lot of people think they havethis problem, but it's not
always their problem.
The second is that it can be atrue fixed expense problem, so
housing, healthcare, childcarethis is often a very real
(11:34):
problem for people, especiallywith the cost of living today.
The third problem is that it'sa true income problem, meaning
no matter how much we lower yourexpenses, how much we lower
your spending, then math won'tmath, and so knowing if this is
the problem you're trying to fixis really important.
The fourth problem is that youcan have a true money management
problem, meaning you makeenough money, your expenses are
(11:57):
all right, your spending is allright, but you have no system,
which is the budget or thespending plan, to hold you
accountable or to keep the moneyfrom just leaving you, and so a
money management problem isoften a problem for a lot of
Americans.
The fifth problem is that youcan have a financial strategy
problem, meaning the goal thatyou have is not actually the
right goal based on where youare financially.
(12:19):
So this is an example of youknow, maybe, an elderly or an
older couple who isn't investingat all and they have all their
money in cash.
That would be a financialstrategy problem, right?
Or they are putting all theirmoney towards debt.
Some person is putting alltheir money towards paying off
debt, but they have no savings,so every time they have a
financial trouble or emergency,they have to go further into
(12:42):
debt.
That would be an example of afinancial strategy problem.
To go further into debt, thatwould be an example of a
financial strategy problem.
And so your mindset affects allof these.
But when you make a budget, youneed to know which of these is
your actual problem.
Does that make sense?
And so budgeting with a goal inmind makes it less about the
process of planning yourspending and more about solving
(13:04):
a problem, which I find actuallykeeps people motivated for
longer.
The second tip that I wouldgive is that you should automate
as much as possible if you can,because if you take the choice
out of your financial goals andyou just make it happen, you're
going to have a lot more success.
Violeta (13:20):
Two of those that you mentioned were the main causes
of when I first started myfinancial journey.
One, I just wasn't tracking mymoney.
It's like, yeah, I was like,look, every month I was like
what did I spend my money onthis month?
Like I have the income, andit's more.
It was, you know, more thanenough to cover my expenses.
(13:43):
I mean I was single with justlike basic bills, right, and,
but I didn't know.
And then once I started likebudgeting, it got better, and
one of the good things I did waslike to start automating.
But then after that is like,okay, so I know I'm sending
money, sending it to aninvestment account, you know
(14:05):
which.
Later on I found out I was notactually putting it into a right
stock.
So I, the step was there, but,like you said, the goal, uh,
then I had like the goalstrategy, like the whole
strategy.
Um, I'm sending money to places, but it's not really doing what
it needed to do, and, and sothat was a hard lesson learned
(14:27):
that I had to figure out and,you know, fixed it.
So now, now, now my money isstrategically being invested in
places.
Didn't really think of breakingit down into those five issues,
and it's true, like you have allall of those that affect how
(14:50):
you manage your money or, uh,your budget differently, and so
you do have to create adifferent plan for each one,
because, yeah, if you don't haveenough money, it doesn't make
sense to like then budget for ainvestment or anything like that
.
So, yeah, I agree this kind ofthe same way with real estate
investing.
(15:10):
I would say, like you know,find your goal first and then
create your plan from there.
And so one of the things that,when I went to like your website
and you know through followingyou, I like that you don't cater
to, like the whole frugalityand like the stress because
creating a budget which I didnotice that you also called it a
(15:33):
money plan, which I like tocall it I think it's like a mind
trick for myself that insteadof thinking of it as a budget, I
just think of it as a moneyplan, I just think of it as a
(16:02):
money plan is like finding waysto create a spending plan that
works for you, and financialanxiety and that stress that
comes up when you start thinkingabout like oh my God, I got to
look at where my money is goingand all that, and facing the
reality of what's going on withthat.
Nicole (16:18):
Yeah, I love to just remind people that our stress
about money is not something tobe afraid of.
It's actually a really greatindicator that there's
opportunity that you haven'tfound out yet, right?
So if you feel financial stress, it's because your body is
trying to tell you thatsomething isn't right, and so
often a lot of people can feelthat they want to avoid that or
(16:40):
that they just need to ignorethat, but what happens is the
stress gets bigger, the worrygets bigger, and it's because
we're trying our bodies aretrying to get us to focus on the
thing that's bringing stressinto our life.
And so, if you're feelingstressed, think of it less as a
bad thing and more of it like amystery that needs to be solved
Right, and so it's nothing to beafraid of.
(17:03):
Like I said, every financialproblem is fixable.
Go into looking at your moneywith that mentality, even if you
don't know how to fix it yet,or you don't know how you're
going to solve it.
That's going to be the key tofeeling less stressed.
So, really, if we know what theproblem that you're overcoming
(17:30):
is and we start making a plan,you're going to notice that,
even before your plan happens,your stress is going to go down,
because there's a difference inknowing okay, I know what I'm
going to do one, two, three andI know this is going to help me
move forward here.
Right, when we see the fullplan in front of us, our stress
(17:53):
will naturally go down, andthat's what a lot of people
don't realize about financiallystarting to make a plan is that
it's not just achieving it, it'seven making the plan.
That's going to see that stressgo down, and so I would always
encourage someone that, if youfeel like it's going to be too
much for you, I want you toremember that you're really
(18:15):
smart, like you're super smart.
You can overcome anything.
You can overcome many thingsyou already have in your life,
so why not just make yourfinances a part of one of those
things that you've overcame?
Violeta (18:30):
finance is a part of one of those things that you've
overcame.
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad.
Yeah, that's definitely uhsomething to to remember is like
you've got, you've gone throughlife and accomplished several
things uh, and overcome a lot ofthings.
Especially, uh, just especiallynow, with all the the high cost
of living and everything likethat.
It's like, yeah, you uh can getthis done.
It's just like this resistancethat we all feel at the very
(18:54):
beginning, like I avoidedlooking at my budget or creating
a budget for so long because Iwas like, whatever, as long as
my bills paid or whatever.
And then after that I saw like,okay, where's my money going?
Then I just was afraid to look.
But then, now that I overcamethat mentality and I have my
(19:17):
plan and everything, I I feel insome way, like you said.
It's like now I feel like Ihave something to do.
I was like all right, so nowevery month is easy.
And my husband had to overcomethat mentality as well, because
he had a lot of uh a debt aswell.
He had like about 40k of thatand he did the same thing.
(19:37):
He just did not look at it.
He just was like okay, I'mgonna send money here, pay it
off.
And, like, once I got with him,then we sat down all right, we
actually have to create a planon how you're going to manage
your money.
So now he's not as scared tolook at his.
He still gets a little bitanxiety.
It's just kind of like that.
(19:58):
Something that kind of doesn'treally go away.
You have to slowly overcome andmanage.
And so now he's more consistentand able to look at our budgets
and how he does our togetherbudget and his individual budget
.
But he's more confident in thatnow.
So it does take time and it is,you know, something that you
(20:20):
have to just like talk yourselfthrough.
And I always say, give yourselfgrace, like looking back
through your mistakes, that yourpast money mistakes, or just,
um, you feel like if only I knewthis.
Or I always try to like stopmyself from going down that
route of like, oh, if I hadknown this I would be here and
(20:41):
blah, blah, blah.
Um, you just gotta like, youjust gotta go, go with it and
give yourself the grace, likeyou didn't know at that at that
time, but now you know.
So now you move forward, youhave your plan and all that, and
so, um, just wanted to end with, like what final tips do you
have for those that are tryingto, especially now during the
(21:04):
time of this recording?
We just got through the seasonof the holidays and so there's a
little bit of anxiety that'sprobably coming up of like
scared to look at your, youraccounts from the holidays
spending, and just what are yourfinal thoughts and tips for
someone that's going throughthat?
Nicole (21:24):
Yeah, if you find yourself scared or wanting to
avoid your money, what I alwayslike to remind people is the
problem is bigger when you avoidit.
The longer you wait, the biggerit becomes right.
The more debt you have, themore interest you have.
And so the best way if you wantto feel less stressed about
your money is to start bylooking at it and not to blame
(21:48):
yourself or to be overlycritical.
Imagine if you're looking at afriend in this situation, a
friend that you love, a friendthat you respect.
Try to look at it through thoseeyes, because chances are you
would be a lot quicker to giveyour friend grace, a lot quicker
to not blame your friend or behypercritical.
(22:10):
And so if you can look at itlike that, you'll find that
maybe it's not as scary as youthink.
Maybe, too, if you can imaginethat it's someone else, you can
start to think of ideas that youhaven't thought of before.
But it will get better.
And it can get better, but itcan't get better if you don't
start by looking at it.
Violeta (22:29):
So give yourself that grace, but yeah, and with that
like, uh, how can they work withyou and how can you uh, what
kind of services do you providefor someone that is looking to
uh start?
You know managing their money.
Nicole (22:46):
Yeah.
So if you are somebody who'sinspired by the story, our
conversation, and you're readyto take action in your life, I
always encourage people to startby listening to everything free
and putting that into practice.
So listening to books, podcasts, and you can also use the free
resources we offer.
So we're are super active onInstagram, on our website, as
(23:06):
well as our newsletter, tiktok,facebook threads, and we host a
lot of free classes so that youcan start to get educated about
where you are financially, whatyour next step should be, what
your one financial goal shouldbe.
So we host two free classeswhere we help you identify which
financial goal you should befocused on right now.
And then our second class isaround helping women understand
(23:29):
how the investing world works.
I know a lot of women feeloverwhelmed by that, so that
class is called investingdemystified.
We also have free resources onour website, which is www.
Arisefinancial, where you canstart to take an action five
minute money moves that canreally improve your financial
life in under five minutes a day.
And if you find that freeresources aren't cutting it, you
(23:51):
aren't making the progress youwant to make.
You still feel stressed aboutmoney.
Consider working one-on-onewith one of our coaches.
You can apply for financialcoaching at arisefinancial and
we'll have a conversation withyou for free to talk about where
you're at, where you want to be, and point you in the right
direction to see if we're a goodfit for you at where you want
to be and point you in the rightdirection to see if we're a
(24:11):
good fit for you.
Violeta (24:14):
Awesome, yeah, I went through your website.
It's awesome Like there's a lotof a lot of stuff on there that
that I will have linked downbelow.
So definitely check out and thefree resources and glad that
you're out here like helpingpeople and, you know, get their
money right and stuff.
So thank you so much for comingon the show and sharing your
(24:34):
story and motivating and showingpeople that it can be done,
cause that's what I like sharingthis, these stories, like I
mentioned earlier, was that itmakes it seem more doable and
more achievable and providingresources as well.
So thank you so much for comingon here.
Nicole (24:54):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Violeta (24:56):
All right.
Well, that's it for thisepisode.
I will see everyone in the nextone.
Bye.
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