April 29, 2025 • 36 mins
What happens when a successful attorney discovers she has the financial literacy of a teenager? Attorney Heather Reese's journey from financial blindness to rebuilding her life after divorce at age 32 offers a raw, honest look at how money silence can impact anyone—regardless of education or career status.
Heather's story challenges the polished narratives often presented by financial influencers, offering instead a messy but authentic journey of rebuilding. "If a lawyer doesn't have it together, then it is not embarrassing if you don't have it together," she reminds listeners. Her experience demonstrates how financial literacy isn't automatically acquired through education or career success—it requires intentional learning, often through difficult personal experiences.
Follow Heather's continuing journey on Instagram at @heather_rxoxo, where she shares both struggles and victories. Have you ever had to rebuild your finances from scratch? Share your story with us and join the conversation about breaking the money silence.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hola, welcome to another episode of the Money
Chisme podcast.
I am Violeta, your host, andhere on the Money Chisme podcast
we talk about money and financeand entrepreneurship, but I
also share the stories, themoney journeys, and just like
stories from our community.
And so with me today to shareher story.
(00:22):
Her journey is Heather Reese,and she is here to just you know
, share her story.
Her journey is Heather Reeseand she's here to just you know,
share her journey, which ispretty interesting because I'm
curious to talk about, becauseshe has an interesting
background.
But I'm going to turn over toHeather so she can introduce
herself.
Hello, heather, thank you somuch for being here.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And thank you for having me.
Hello everybody.
So my name is Heather Reese andI am an attorney in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
I am also Latina, I am adoptedfrom Peru and I also do plus
size modeling and contentcreation.
And my biggest thing now is Istarted a series on Instagram
(01:00):
where I showcase Latino, Latinaand Latinx businesses, and my
money journey has been one thatis very unconventional.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
In the Latino community, we always talk about
like how, growing up we didn'thave many talks about money.
So, especially, like you know,first gens like myself or
whatever, are like trying tofigure out finances as they go.
So I'm interested to hear yourside, because you were actually
adopted by Jewish parents, right?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And so I want to go through your story how that went
, yeah, so I was adopted by aJewish mother and I guess you
could call him likepseudo-Catholic agnostic, I
don't know the right term forhim.
Father and my Jewish upbringingwas pretty like close knit,
like I went to a private Jewishschool for kindergarten through
(01:51):
sixth grade and my mom was likea very successful female
scientist Growing up.
My dad worked at like, workedat the same place, worked at a
lab in the building that she wasin, and I feel like money was
never, ever talked about, likeit was just, it was like uh, my
mom would kind of say it's likea taboo thing to discuss, um,
(02:16):
because it wasn't like we werehurting for it.
So I think that was the bigthing is that she was just like
you don't ever want to come offum, you know, overly privileged,
but be, but always be aware ofyour privilege, never, ever hide
it, never pretend you don'thave it, because it's
disingenuine.
So, yeah, I mean for me likemoney wasn't a big thing we
(02:37):
talked about growing up at allLike I think me and my sister
and my brother were all adopted.
Me and my sister are both fromPeru.
My brother is from Honduras.
Our parents were very openabout our adoption.
We had maps of our countrieswhen we were growing up.
We had toys, we had money fromour countries and little jewelry
(02:57):
boxes.
So it was really cool.
But, yeah, money was definitelynot something we really talked
about ever, like it was, and Idon't know if that's like very
common in the Jewish community.
I just know that that's how itwas in like my family upbringing
is that it wasn't likesomething that we had a long
talk about, which I really thinkdid a disservice to me as I
(03:20):
became an adult.
It was very much like don't beflashy, don't be taboo, because
it is taboo to be that way,because we didn't want to.
You know, there's that oldmoney versus new money kind of
concept and it was, and I thinkit was, like my mom was the
breadwinner.
You know what I mean.
My mom was making way moremoney than my father was making
and that was already, you know,in the nineties, seen as kind of
(03:42):
like you know, in the 90s, seenas kind of, like you know,
controversial happening.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
So I think she was very much like just be humble
and um, you know, hopefullyyou'll figure out money yourself
so, uh, so what kind of likescientists was she like, just
kind of like doing research oror like what kind of stuff was
she's doing, if you're able tosay it?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
because I don't know now.
She was a computer scientist atfirst, um, and then she worked
on some dna sequencing ofsomething and she would be so
mad that I can't rememberbecause she thought it was so
cool and I'm sure it is so cool.
People that don't know her um,but no, no, I know that she
worked computer scientist for along time.
She was one of um, like one ofthe first women in a group.
(04:28):
She was working at DuPont atthe time in Delaware, which is
like a big company.
But yeah, I don't know all thedetails of all the stuff that
she worked on.
I just know that she traveled alot.
And that when I was younger Iused to take your daughter to
work day and I used to get to goand see her at work and it was
like I would never reallyunderstand what's happening.
(04:49):
I just knew there were giantcomputers and she would go into
something called debug mode,which meant like I couldn't
bother her because she wastrying to fix some problem on a
computer and I would never knowwhat it was.
But like computers had beenaround my life since I was like
before I could talk like shewould.
She would say like other kidswere playing and you like with
games and you were playing withjavascript on your computer.
(05:10):
I couldn't tell you whatjavascript is now, but as a kid.
That was, you know, going to heroffice.
That's the things that I had toplay with.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
So, um, yeah, I mean that's what she was yeah, it's
funny because, um, when I wasyounger, we had the whole
myspace stuff and like it wasn'tuntil like um more recent years
when it started coming up wasthat we were all kind of like
coders and I was like I was,like I didn't even realize this,
(05:38):
what we were doing.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I was just trying to put a song.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
We were trying to.
I was just trying to put a songand make my page look all cute
and stuff and have the thingscome down like I remember.
I love that, I love the littlesparkly things that come down or
whatever, and oh man, I do kindof miss that sometimes.
But yeah, so so you mentionedthat that you went to private
(06:01):
school.
So I'm curious like, uh, whatabout in private school?
Did they kind of like have anytype of finance classes or
things?
Because I'm trying to rememberin my schools I think, uh, I
remember like there was oneclass that we did balance a
check and uh, like that's themost I can remember of learning
(06:24):
for the most part.
So I wonder like if in privateschool they did that or not.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, so I went to private school from K through
sixth grade and I went to aprivate Jewish school where you
like learned Hebrew half the day, english half the day.
It was like a very small school.
There was 12 kids in the classin my grade and they were the
same 12 kids from kindergartenthrough sixth grade.
But they did have somethingthat was called a spiral
(06:51):
curriculum which, like,introduced you, if I recall
correctly now I mean, somebodycould probably tell me I'm wrong
, I don't remember but it wouldbe like it would teach you a
concept two years before youwere actually going to learn it.
So when you learned it it wouldnot be foreign to you is the
way I remember understanding it.
So I would learn two yearsahead of my grade every year and
(07:13):
.
I do remember going into my nextschool like very advanced, but
um, also I had a privateone-on-one teacher, like I had a
private one-on-one aid becauseI had ADHD and no one taught me
about money.
No one ever taught me aboutmoney.
Like that's the funny, that'sthe gag of life, right?
Is that I didn't learn aboutmoney until I was 32 years old
(07:36):
and I was going through adivorce.
And then, very quickly, Ilearned about money.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
From high school you went to college.
Obviously, as soon as you gotyour lawyerate it's like so how
did that go?
Were you just like not paying?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
attention.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Literally not paying attention.
You were like me, where I wasjust like just not really having
a budget or anything.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
No, it's so embarrassing.
So I went to college, right?
Well, no, no.
Before I went to college, I wasin high school.
I met my ex-husband when I was17 years old.
I moved in with his family whenI was 19.
They took full financialresponsibility of me oh, wow um,
I went to college.
(08:22):
Then I went to college around,then my mother paid for my
college and my mom paid, I think, for one year of my law school.
And then I took out loans and Igot to tell you, no one
explained to me any portion ofthese loans and any concept.
I was just like, okay, okay,okay, sign thing, yeah, free
(08:44):
money, yeah.
And so I think that was wherethe disconnect is right Is, I
went from, I, I went from onehome to another home where I
didn't have to worry about moneybecause my in-laws, I didn't
pay rent.
They never asked me for, theynever asked for us for a dime.
You know, even when I wasworking, like my, they, they,
(09:04):
they paid for everything.
They really took care of me.
Like you know, when I went tolaw school, anything I could
have ever needed, like in lawschool, they, they always paid
for.
Um, we were, we were.
The plan was because we'd gottenmarried, we were then
inheriting the home and that youknow, my ex father-in-law,
significantly older than my exmother-in-law, and she was like,
(09:27):
well, you guys will just livehere and take care of me and I
love her.
Like, even to this day, we'rebest friends, like we're going
out, we're going out later thisweek, and I was like, yeah, that
sounds great.
Like I, I love a family dynamicand you know I would never want
to leave her.
So I never thought about money,like money had no concept
because I had a paid off home,yeah, and you know, any money
(09:55):
that was coming in was mine.
And what I, what I kind ofagreed with with my ex-husband,
not knowingly was that they hadmade this seem like it made
sense.
They had said, well, you know,your ex-husband doesn't have any
, any, any like credit debt,right, like he doesn't have any
student loans.
So we'll make sure we take outall the debt in your name
because you already have thenegatives against you.
(10:16):
So one person will havecompletely clear, cool credit.
And it sounded great because,again, I was like I'm never
going to get divorced, I'll be,we'll be together forever.
This is fine, we have a home.
Well, everything came crumblingdown when we got divorced at 32
and I and I had inherited allthe debt and I had no idea.
(10:36):
I had no concept of rent, noconcept of money, no concept of
credit, like I remember peopletelling me about credit when I
was in my twenties and me beinglike, oh, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I don't need credit.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I already, I, I'm, I'm going to own this home Like
we're owning this home.
I don't need credit.
I already I I'm going to ownthis home Like we're owning this
home, I don't need to worryabout it, I never have to apply
for anything.
Yeah, and boy did that backfire.
So talk to your kids aboutcredit, even when they get
married.
Cause, darn, I mean like that,that was.
That's crazy to me.
Cause, at 32, it wasembarrassing to have to go to
(11:07):
like financial advisors and likeget turned down for renting and
getting a home when I make asignificant income, but because
my credit was so bad, because II wasn't even like monitoring,
like there was no monitoring ofanything going on oh wow.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So like did they?
Just like?
Leave you with all the debt andthen you, or like what?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
happened there, I mean.
So they paid for a lot of mylife when I was growing up.
So I have I have no ill willtowards them in any, in any
aspect.
There was an agreement that wasmade.
I decided to eat it.
There was a large portion.
There was some portion that waspaid to me and it was.
But at the end of the day, liketrying to rebuild something from
(11:54):
nothing, is the problem right?
Like he didn't have to rebuildanything.
He had like a 720 credit score.
I had like a 510.
Like I mean we were dealingwith totally different things,
because I didn't.
There was a lot of things Ididn't even know that were
getting done, because I didn'tcare, we were husband and wife.
Because I didn't care, we werehusband and wife.
You know what I mean.
And again, when people tell youthis fairy tale, like you're
(12:16):
going to own this home, you'regoing to do like you don't have
to worry about money and truly Iwouldn't have if we had stayed
together.
But you know, the chips fallwhere they may and then you kind
of have to deal with it.
And I said I'm a lawyer andthey were like we don't, we
(12:43):
don't care.
I was like check my income andthey were like no, no, we don't
care that you make this muchmoney, we that you have bad
credit, and I'm like what?
That's real.
That thing is real crazy it'sso embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
yeah, that's one of the things that like, uh, people
don't understand about credit.
And it goes the other way too,like, um, you not having any
credit, or like having a creditbut not using it, which is the
weirdest thing, right, you haveto.
In order to build credit, youhave to use your credit, which
is like okay, well then, how doI use you know?
(13:21):
Right, it's like okay.
So, yeah, like are people thatare make good money and able you
know more than enough to afforda certain thing or whatever,
but they get turned down becausethey don't have the right types
of accounts, like they don'thave long term debt, they have
(13:41):
just a credit card and theynever use the credit card, they
just have it there and sothey're like getting denied and
it's like it's really crazy.
Once I figured out, like howcredit works and, um, the whole
time growing up, like I was toldlike, yeah, don't use any type
of debt or credit or anything, Ithink that I will say, uh,
(14:03):
having that mindset from from my, from my mom and my dad, that,
uh, they were so scared of debt,like that's the only thing that
saved me from student loans.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
that's smart see, I wish my parents had done that.
Yeah, I was like it's not real,it's monopoly money it's fine, I
just remember swiping creditcards like I had a credit card
to every single like retailerthat you could probably think of
and also because no one reallyexplained things to me.
I closed accounts so I wouldfully pay them off and then I
would close them.
And it wasn't like it wasn'tlike I was leaving them up and
(14:37):
paid off, like the second I gotsome money.
I'd be like oh, I'm going topay this off and then close it,
and then they were like somebodysaid to me that's hurting, you
Don't do that, leave them open,they're paid off.
Well, I was supposed to just getrid of this.
Boss got credit card.
Like I mean it's crazy.
And it was like, yeah, it wasscary.
I mean it definitely it's beena journey.
(15:05):
It still is.
Like I mean, I think people havea conception that because I'm a
lawyer, I have my life together, and that is far from the truth
, because you know, you knowwhen divorce happens and you
kind of you rebuilding yourself.
And I think I really tried hardto destigmatize the fact of
saying I don't know and I'm lost.
You know what I mean.
Like I think that was the bigthing.
I I reached out and I was likeI have no idea what I'm doing
(15:27):
with money.
And if I don't, if a 32 yearold lawyer doesn't know, then I
don't know what we're teachingother kids.
And like, if I'm notembarrassed to tell you that I
had, like a credit score of likea 500, then like don't be
embarrassed.
Like because embarrassing, likeme sitting here and being
embarrassed wasn't going to helpit get better.
I was just going to like getstuck in this wave of me being
(15:50):
more and more upset of like howdid I get here, how did I get
here?
Instead of being like how do Ifix it?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
yeah, yeah, so, yeah, that's one of the things is
like this, this avoidance of theissue, and so I'm glad that you
decided to like, yeah, well,well, uh, yeah, it's it sucks.
I gotta figure out how to fixit now.
So, so what was that process?
Like what I guess?
Like, take us through a littlebit of that journey, like you
(16:19):
realize that, oh shit, like allmy stuff is jacked up and
everything.
So what did you do?
Like I guess first you kind ofmentioned that you did financial
planning a little bit.
But, is that what you did first?
Or like?
Did you just like?
What was it?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Oh, first I just like , was like panicking, right, so
I didn't do financial planninguntil much later.
But first I just said I waslike all right, I'm gonna write
down every single credit cardthat I have and I'm going well.
First I set my student loans upfor auto pay.
Then I said what I'm going todo is I'm going to take every
single credit card I have andI'm going to just pay the lowest
(16:53):
amount or not the lowest amount.
I'm going to pay the lowestcredit card.
So I was like, if I have thiscredit card for $100, I'm paying
it off, not closing it, payingit off.
So I paid off, I think, aroundfour credit cards and then I
said, all right, well, the nextbonus check I get or my next
referral check at my job, I'mgoing to use those.
(17:18):
I'm going to do the same thingagain and I'm going to start
backtracking and just paying offcredit cards.
Now, later I found out I shouldbe paying the credit cards with
the highest interest orwhatever.
But at the time I was just likeno, I'm just going to get them
off my credit report.
I just want to make sure thatyou know I'm, I'm paying
whatever I can, cause I cause inmy brain, which I know is not
correct now, I said well, I'drather have only three credit
(17:39):
cards, even if they have a superhigh interest rate, and I'm and
I'm paying the minimum on them,that have five at all.
Right, like I wanted to pay offthose three to get to that point
, or those two.
So that's what I did at first.
I also saw some like TikTokwhere it was like pay 15 months
before your due date, 15 daysbefore your due date, and then
(18:01):
pay, and it was like that'llraise you.
And I remember trying all theselittle schemes.
I was like maybe that will doit, maybe if I do that it'll fix
it.
But yeah, no, it's definitely alot of.
It was watching tiktoks and andreading.
And then you know having to bitethe bullet and talk to other
people and say like, like Iremember having to call, like my
, my, you know, my mom's friendsand being like hey, I, I know
(18:25):
everyone thinks I got ittogether, but like we really
don't.
And I just need, instead oflike judgment, because I think
it's so easy to be able to judgepeople about money and trust me
, like I judged myself, like Iwas like how did I let myself
get here?
And I think what was worse istelling people how I got there,
right, people being like wait,you took all the debt.
(18:45):
And I was like, yeah, I mean, Iknow it sounds crazy when you
say it, but when I said whenthey, when I said it when I was
17 years old it's a fairy tale.
It didn't sound crazy.
It sounded like I was choosingto be with somebody for the rest
of my life and you know, ourlife together was going to be
fine.
I didn't really even factor itin.
And it's like at 32, ifsomebody were, if my, if my now
(19:07):
fiance were to say, take thedebt, I'd say go get rocks now
at 32, I know better, like Ialways say to my fiance.
Now I'm like you know, when itcomes to money, like we, we, we
like check in once a month and,um, we go through, we go through
the credit cards all togetherand we say, all right, write
down all the credit cards again,let's see, you know, when one
(19:29):
of us gets a like, a like an endof the year bonus, like, or uh,
or like a referral, like I justgot a bonus, and I said, all
right, we're gonna write downboth credit cards, both people's
credit cards, and we're gonnago through them again.
And you know, when he gets his,we're gonna do it again.
And I think, like for me, thatthat was the beginning.
So the beginning was me payingoff the credit cards with the
lowest balance.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, and I will say like, yeah, there's like
strategies for credit cards, butI just like to say like
whatever is something that'sgoing to keep you paying the
credit cards is what's like,because there's no point of like
doing like the higher interest.
But then you get, like you losemotivation because you feel
(20:13):
like it's not going nowhere andso you just like give up,
Whereas like how you were doingit, you like seeing that, okay,
one checked off, another onechecked off, and then you get
some.
So it's whatever like actuallyhelps you reach the goal.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
in my opinion, the checkmark is the big thing.
Right Like?
I think that's for me.
I think the big hit to me wasin the confidence where I said,
damn, I'm really at a placewhere I'm a 32 year old
professional and I'm I have thecredit of somebody who has been
(20:47):
like I don't even know whatright Like, and I think for me,
like even now, like I still payoff the lowest things, like, and
then I, and then I I do thatthing where I like take the
credit card out of my wallet andthen I go put it somewhere
where I can't touch it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And I'm like all right.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Well, I'm not going to touch this credit card for
like a year, right Once I pay itoff.
I'm not going to touch it for ayear.
And then I'm going to work onthe next one.
I'm not going to touch it for ayear Because, you know, when I
first did it, I paid almost allof them off and then I ran them
all right back up.
Because it's like then Istarted living again, right?
So once I got myself back intoa good space I was like, okay,
(21:27):
well, I'm getting an apartment,I need to get furniture for
apartment, I need to get a bed,I need to get all this stuff.
And I ran everything back upagain.
And it's so easy to get in thatmindset, especially like when
you know your income is decent,right, like when you know your
income is decent, the like zerointerest sounds great, right?
Like so many furniturecompanies are like zero interest
(21:49):
If you pay it off by the state.
Well, I never listened to that.
So then I end up payinginterest anyway because I end up
not paying it by the date.
And I'm like, well, see, that'sjust me not being as
responsible and not financiallysound.
Now I'm like when somebodyhands me something, I'm like I
gotta read this whole thing, Igotta put the dates in my thing.
I know it's annoying to you.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
I'm sorry, but like I've just gotten played too many
times, I play myself, so I haveto really be like holding
myself accountable, because ifnot, I refuse to let myself get
in a situation like that againyeah, yeah, and that's why I I
feel like it's important toshare our stories, because it's
so easy to see like the big, youknow financial gurus or
(22:32):
influencers or whatever, andthey're like, oh, I'm a
millionaire or whatever, and itfeels like it's unachievable and
like it's not really relatablewhen the reality of most of our
stories are going through thingslike that, learning things the
hard way, like we, um, like Idid, like you did, and we tend
(22:53):
to just kind of hide that aspectof our journeys in with money.
And I feel like it's importantto share that and that way
people don't feel so much of theshame and guilt.
It's like it's just part oflife, it's part of like, um, it
would be awesome if we didn'thave to go through that by you
(23:13):
know, like you were mentioning.
Okay, now we teach the nextgeneration not to fall for some
of these things that we fell forand um, but we gotta show our
our uh downfalls too and how uhwe picked ourselves up.
So you're back up on thepicking yourself up and learning
(23:33):
and and you said you went tofinancial advising or financial
planning and things like that.
So it sounds like you're you'reyou're on the right on the, on
a good track now.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, I'm trying hard .
It's definitely like.
You know, things are sotempting to go on by buy,
especially like for me, likewhen I get a big check, you know
, I'm like, I'm like, oh god,you know I could get all this
stuff.
And then I really have toremind myself.
I have to be like no, likethat's just not, because back in
the day that was my life, rightwhen I was, when I was married
to my ex-husband it was like ifwe got money, it was money that
(24:08):
we got and we could do anythingwe want with it.
Now I'm like all right, well, Iwant to have children next year
.
Like I want to be able to feedmy children.
You know what I mean.
Like you know, I have a partnernow who's who works at a bank.
So like he's always like whatdo you mean?
You didn't read that?
And I'm like what do you mean?
I'm supposed to read it.
And he's like, yeah, like he'slike I tell you this all the
(24:30):
time.
So like he's definitely morefinancially aware than I ever
was, because he he didn't, youknow, he didn't much understand.
So it's, it's alwaysinteresting, you know, entering
a space where I'm like oh wow,you guys all know this kind of
stuff and I'm like, well, thankGod, because I don't.
(25:05):
So it's been, it's been, it'sbeen great.
Because for me, like, Idefinitely need that, that
accountability with my partnertoo.
Because I think the otherproblem is a lot of the times
people get in relationships withpeople where two people are
both living in a living beyondtheir means.
Right, and that's really how itwas with me and my ex-husband.
We had no sense of money, uh,no sense of means, and now, very
(25:27):
much like my, my fiance will belike, uh, do we need to go out
and eat dinner tonight?
Like, can we just eat?
You know the 30 things we havein the home?
And I'm like, yeah, and he'slike, no, we should do that.
Like, you know, we're going todo the savings book.
You know we write down all thisstuff.
Like I said, we have moneycheck-ins where we're kind of
like you know both like, hey,you know, this is what we have
(25:49):
to put in the pot this month.
Like, let's start making surewe save up.
So it's a journey, and I thinkI always said I was going to be
completely transparent.
When I went on the Internet, Istarted going on the.
Internet two years ago, when Iwent through the divorce and the
Internet saw the good, the badand the ugly and I said I might
(26:10):
as well take them on thisjourney too.
They might as well hear itbecause you're right, it is.
There are so many contentcreators and influencers that
have lavish lives and like areout here with like a you know a
Prada bag and like skiing in theAspen and I'm like, well, I'm
going to probably use just flyto pay for my ticket to go to.
(26:30):
Colorado make seven easypayments, um, and and I'm going
to be wearing an outfit from um,I don't know Target cider Like
I mean, for me it's just you putit into perspective and I think
I really always wanted to be asauthentic and real and let
people see like, even peoplethat expect you expect to have
it all together, don't like.
(26:51):
I'm sure it was a shock to a lotof people when I came out and
was like I'm like not only broke, I'm like beyond broke, Like
I'm in debt because I, you know,when you go through a divorce,
you were like you're talkingabout that and I'm like, yeah, I
mean, because if I'm not, noone I mean everyone expects it
to be like I don't know.
I just feel like it's tough torelate to influencers and
(27:16):
content creators when their lifealways seems perfect and I
think there's a stigma on thelike everyday person to have
everything together.
So when you see people that youexpect to have it together or
not have it together, I thinkit's like a nice refreshing
taste.
It's like watching like thereality show, that like is like
a train wreck, like I'm that,I'm that train wreck.
That's like going up and it'slike working out, but I want you
(27:38):
to see that there's still timeswhere it's like you know, I'm
like not doing all that wellyeah, um, I'm kind of the same
way.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I'm trying to kind of like show, uh, the the reality
of a lot of stuff, becauseyou'll see, like with um, real
estate investors, you see, likethe ads and stuff, I see them
all the time and they'll be likeoh, I'm a billionaire, I have a
over a million blah, blah, blah, and it's all like rainbows and
and sunshine over there, andit's like the reality is
(28:10):
different, like especially thefirst few years of when you get
into it.
It's like you actuallysometimes you lose money,
sometimes you make money orwhatever, and it's a up and down
cycle.
2024 was rough.
I just ran the numbers likeoverall I still came out at
(28:31):
least making some money.
Money, but not what I hadplanned because so many issues
and I share that, because it'simportant to share the journey
and share the reality we stillare gonna get there, you're
still gonna get and you know,get done with your dead and come
back up and then you know putyourself back on top and same
(28:53):
with with me and everything likethat.
But we don't need to likesugarcoat it and show like at at
the end because, like you said,you could just like hide it and
then all of a sudden, when youare good, like, oh, look at me,
or whatever, but hide all thethe the downs that you had.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
So I'm glad you're you're being very authentic,
thank you yeah, I mean, I thinkthe journey is half of the ride,
right.
I mean, for me it's like, it'slike nothing hits you, like your
life changing in a in a day,and I think that was the big
thing, like people were shockedthat I wasn't embarrassed and I
said I can't get any moreembarrassed.
(29:30):
Like nothing in my entire lifewill ever, ever, ever make me
feel embarrassed more so than me, literally like my husband left
me a week into my brand new joband a day before our
anniversary and I had to go backto work and everyone at my job
(29:51):
was asking me how my anniversarytrip was and I had to say, um,
it was a trip.
And then I had to speak topeople that have known me less
than a week and say, hey, we gota real issue right now because,
you know, my husband just leftme and I am now not going to be
living in that home and I haveto figure out where I'm going to
(30:11):
live and what I'm going to do.
And my boss at the time, who Istill I was still at the firm
now was so gracious, so kind,was like we will do anything.
We can tell us what you need.
Do you need us to help you getan apartment?
Do you need us to help you getyour, your dogs?
Like what do you need us tohelp you do?
Let me work like two days a weekfor almost seven months,
(30:32):
probably like my first yearthere, because I was like, hey,
guys, like this is I, I'mfiguring out where I'm going to
reside.
Like, I have my clothes in theback of my car.
So I mean, I think nothingcould embarrass me more than
having to talk to people thathad known me less than two weeks
to say, hey, my life justshattered apart when you just
asked me how my anniversary tripwas, and um, now I need to tell
(30:56):
you that I can't be at work.
And um so I mean, the moneything was so secondary to that.
So it was like it was like youknow, I, I shouldn't, I didn't
do anything wrong, I'm not goingto get embarrassed by anything
decisions that people make, andall I can do is, you know, build
myself up and try to get backto the starting line.
(31:17):
And then also, like there's adifferent level of appreciation,
I have doing it myself.
Like I think about that all thetime.
Like, even when there'sstruggles with like money and
stuff, I'm like well, I'm payingmy own rent.
Well, I bought this.
Like this'm paying my own rent.
Well, I bought this.
Like this is my bed, this is mytable.
Like you know, when me and myfiance were furnishing our
(31:39):
apartment, it was like it waslike for him he had lived in
other places before, he had hadhis own place before, but for me
I had never.
And at 32, I got to experienceall these amazing firsts because
I got to be like, oh no, thisis mine.
Like this is this, is thisthing that's actually mine.
You know, when I got my car,you know, signed over to me,
like I'm like, oh, this is mine.
(31:59):
Now, this is like my stuff thatI own and I have responsibility
for, and I think that's alsodifferent, you know, when you
look at things through your ownpockets.
It's like my mom used to saywell, if you were paying for
college, I'm sure you'd show upto class every day.
And I think it's like that withlike life.
Right now that I know I'mpaying for it, I'm like I'm
(32:20):
going to treat it better, like.
I'm like go, don't jump on that.
You know what I mean.
Be nice to that couch.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Like now I'm different Cause circle with,
like all the things that yourparents tell you well, I'm glad
that you're, uh, you're, you're,you learn, you're learning from
that and coming back up andthat sounds like going through a
cool journey.
Um of you know, basically kindof like self-discovery too,
because you start learning aboutyourself as you go through your
(32:49):
, your money journey.
And for those that are likeinterested in following your
journey, where can they reachyou?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram the most.
It's Heather, underscore r,xoxo.
And yeah, I mean there, I'm onthere.
I'm on threads.
I'm pretty active on threads.
I love threads.
It has all of my intrusivethoughts, so good.
Threads is a great place toalso find stuff.
But instagram is my main baseand I honestly like, if people
ever want to reach out to mebecause they feel like they have
(33:21):
something to be embarrassed of,please I am.
I will love to tell you someembarrassing stories and I'd
love to make people feel goodbecause at the end of the day,
like, if a lawyer doesn't haveit together, then he does not.
Embarrassing if you don't haveit together.
People expect me to knoweverything about money all the
time and I'm like.
I didn't go to school for money.
I went to school for for beinga lawyer, arguing and being good
(33:45):
at telling facts in a differentway, not nothing to do with
counting.
My boss, even to this day, willbe like have me do something
with money and I'll be like God.
Did they not teach you aboutmoney in school?
And I'm like no, I had acalculator, like you want me to
do this by hand.
Like I had a calculator.
So yeah, yeah, Awesome.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Well, thank you so much for coming on here and
sharing your story and showingthe reality of a journey that we
go through, because it'simportant, like I said, to share
our stories from our communityand so that way we could get rid
of that stigma of like thinkingthat we should all be like, you
(34:28):
know, financial gurus or moneyprofessionals, or that we got
all our shit together, when nolife, life is different, life is
going to throw you.
I knew some people that had itall all good and then they go
through something too and likethey go back down and then they
have to pick themselves back upand everything.
So, um, thank you for sharingyour journey, of course.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Awesome.
Well, that's it for thisepisode and I will see y'all in
the next one.
Bye.
Hola, welcome to another episode of the Money
Chisme podcast.
I am Violeta, your host, andhere on the Money Chisme podcast
we talk about money and financeand entrepreneurship, but I
also share the stories, themoney journeys, and just like
stories from our community.
And so with me today to shareher story.
(00:22):
Her journey is Heather Reese,and she is here to just you know
, share her story.
Her journey is Heather Reeseand she's here to just you know,
share her journey, which ispretty interesting because I'm
curious to talk about, becauseshe has an interesting
background.
But I'm going to turn over toHeather so she can introduce
herself.
Hello, heather, thank you somuch for being here.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And thank you for having me.
Hello everybody.
So my name is Heather Reese andI am an attorney in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
I am also Latina, I am adoptedfrom Peru and I also do plus
size modeling and contentcreation.
And my biggest thing now is Istarted a series on Instagram
(01:00):
where I showcase Latino, Latinaand Latinx businesses, and my
money journey has been one thatis very unconventional.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
In the Latino community, we always talk about
like how, growing up we didn'thave many talks about money.
So, especially, like you know,first gens like myself or
whatever, are like trying tofigure out finances as they go.
So I'm interested to hear yourside, because you were actually
adopted by Jewish parents, right?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And so I want to go through your story how that went
, yeah, so I was adopted by aJewish mother and I guess you
could call him likepseudo-Catholic agnostic, I
don't know the right term forhim.
Father and my Jewish upbringingwas pretty like close knit,
like I went to a private Jewishschool for kindergarten through
(01:51):
sixth grade and my mom was likea very successful female
scientist Growing up.
My dad worked at like, workedat the same place, worked at a
lab in the building that she wasin, and I feel like money was
never, ever talked about, likeit was just, it was like uh, my
mom would kind of say it's likea taboo thing to discuss, um,
(02:16):
because it wasn't like we werehurting for it.
So I think that was the bigthing is that she was just like
you don't ever want to come offum, you know, overly privileged,
but be, but always be aware ofyour privilege, never, ever hide
it, never pretend you don'thave it, because it's
disingenuine.
So, yeah, I mean for me likemoney wasn't a big thing we
(02:37):
talked about growing up at allLike I think me and my sister
and my brother were all adopted.
Me and my sister are both fromPeru.
My brother is from Honduras.
Our parents were very openabout our adoption.
We had maps of our countrieswhen we were growing up.
We had toys, we had money fromour countries and little jewelry
(02:57):
boxes.
So it was really cool.
But, yeah, money was definitelynot something we really talked
about ever, like it was, and Idon't know if that's like very
common in the Jewish community.
I just know that that's how itwas in like my family upbringing
is that it wasn't likesomething that we had a long
talk about, which I really thinkdid a disservice to me as I
(03:20):
became an adult.
It was very much like don't beflashy, don't be taboo, because
it is taboo to be that way,because we didn't want to.
You know, there's that oldmoney versus new money kind of
concept and it was, and I thinkit was, like my mom was the
breadwinner.
You know what I mean.
My mom was making way moremoney than my father was making
and that was already, you know,in the nineties, seen as kind of
(03:42):
like you know, in the 90s, seenas kind of, like you know,
controversial happening.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
So I think she was very much like just be humble
and um, you know, hopefullyyou'll figure out money yourself
so, uh, so what kind of likescientists was she like, just
kind of like doing research oror like what kind of stuff was
she's doing, if you're able tosay it?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
because I don't know now.
She was a computer scientist atfirst, um, and then she worked
on some dna sequencing ofsomething and she would be so
mad that I can't rememberbecause she thought it was so
cool and I'm sure it is so cool.
People that don't know her um,but no, no, I know that she
worked computer scientist for along time.
She was one of um, like one ofthe first women in a group.
(04:28):
She was working at DuPont atthe time in Delaware, which is
like a big company.
But yeah, I don't know all thedetails of all the stuff that
she worked on.
I just know that she traveled alot.
And that when I was younger Iused to take your daughter to
work day and I used to get to goand see her at work and it was
like I would never reallyunderstand what's happening.
(04:49):
I just knew there were giantcomputers and she would go into
something called debug mode,which meant like I couldn't
bother her because she wastrying to fix some problem on a
computer and I would never knowwhat it was.
But like computers had beenaround my life since I was like
before I could talk like shewould.
She would say like other kidswere playing and you like with
games and you were playing withjavascript on your computer.
(05:10):
I couldn't tell you whatjavascript is now, but as a kid.
That was, you know, going to heroffice.
That's the things that I had toplay with.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
So, um, yeah, I mean that's what she was yeah, it's
funny because, um, when I wasyounger, we had the whole
myspace stuff and like it wasn'tuntil like um more recent years
when it started coming up wasthat we were all kind of like
coders and I was like I was,like I didn't even realize this,
(05:38):
what we were doing.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I was just trying to put a song.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
We were trying to.
I was just trying to put a songand make my page look all cute
and stuff and have the thingscome down like I remember.
I love that, I love the littlesparkly things that come down or
whatever, and oh man, I do kindof miss that sometimes.
But yeah, so so you mentionedthat that you went to private
(06:01):
school.
So I'm curious like, uh, whatabout in private school?
Did they kind of like have anytype of finance classes or
things?
Because I'm trying to rememberin my schools I think, uh, I
remember like there was oneclass that we did balance a
check and uh, like that's themost I can remember of learning
(06:24):
for the most part.
So I wonder like if in privateschool they did that or not.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, so I went to private school from K through
sixth grade and I went to aprivate Jewish school where you
like learned Hebrew half the day, english half the day.
It was like a very small school.
There was 12 kids in the classin my grade and they were the
same 12 kids from kindergartenthrough sixth grade.
But they did have somethingthat was called a spiral
(06:51):
curriculum which, like,introduced you, if I recall
correctly now I mean, somebodycould probably tell me I'm wrong
, I don't remember but it wouldbe like it would teach you a
concept two years before youwere actually going to learn it.
So when you learned it it wouldnot be foreign to you is the
way I remember understanding it.
So I would learn two yearsahead of my grade every year and
(07:13):
.
I do remember going into my nextschool like very advanced, but
um, also I had a privateone-on-one teacher, like I had a
private one-on-one aid becauseI had ADHD and no one taught me
about money.
No one ever taught me aboutmoney.
Like that's the funny, that'sthe gag of life, right?
Is that I didn't learn aboutmoney until I was 32 years old
(07:36):
and I was going through adivorce.
And then, very quickly, Ilearned about money.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
From high school you went to college.
Obviously, as soon as you gotyour lawyerate it's like so how
did that go?
Were you just like not paying?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
attention.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Literally not paying attention.
You were like me, where I wasjust like just not really having
a budget or anything.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
No, it's so embarrassing.
So I went to college, right?
Well, no, no.
Before I went to college, I wasin high school.
I met my ex-husband when I was17 years old.
I moved in with his family whenI was 19.
They took full financialresponsibility of me oh, wow um,
I went to college.
(08:22):
Then I went to college around,then my mother paid for my
college and my mom paid, I think, for one year of my law school.
And then I took out loans and Igot to tell you, no one
explained to me any portion ofthese loans and any concept.
I was just like, okay, okay,okay, sign thing, yeah, free
(08:44):
money, yeah.
And so I think that was wherethe disconnect is right Is, I
went from, I, I went from onehome to another home where I
didn't have to worry about moneybecause my in-laws, I didn't
pay rent.
They never asked me for, theynever asked for us for a dime.
You know, even when I wasworking, like my, they, they,
(09:04):
they paid for everything.
They really took care of me.
Like you know, when I went tolaw school, anything I could
have ever needed, like in lawschool, they, they always paid
for.
Um, we were, we were.
The plan was because we'd gottenmarried, we were then
inheriting the home and that youknow, my ex father-in-law,
significantly older than my exmother-in-law, and she was like,
(09:27):
well, you guys will just livehere and take care of me and I
love her.
Like, even to this day, we'rebest friends, like we're going
out, we're going out later thisweek, and I was like, yeah, that
sounds great.
Like I, I love a family dynamicand you know I would never want
to leave her.
So I never thought about money,like money had no concept
because I had a paid off home,yeah, and you know, any money
(09:55):
that was coming in was mine.
And what I, what I kind ofagreed with with my ex-husband,
not knowingly was that they hadmade this seem like it made
sense.
They had said, well, you know,your ex-husband doesn't have any
, any, any like credit debt,right, like he doesn't have any
student loans.
So we'll make sure we take outall the debt in your name
because you already have thenegatives against you.
(10:16):
So one person will havecompletely clear, cool credit.
And it sounded great because,again, I was like I'm never
going to get divorced, I'll be,we'll be together forever.
This is fine, we have a home.
Well, everything came crumblingdown when we got divorced at 32
and I and I had inherited allthe debt and I had no idea.
(10:36):
I had no concept of rent, noconcept of money, no concept of
credit, like I remember peopletelling me about credit when I
was in my twenties and me beinglike, oh, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I don't need credit.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I already, I, I'm, I'm going to own this home Like
we're owning this home.
I don't need credit.
I already I I'm going to ownthis home Like we're owning this
home, I don't need to worryabout it, I never have to apply
for anything.
Yeah, and boy did that backfire.
So talk to your kids aboutcredit, even when they get
married.
Cause, darn, I mean like that,that was.
That's crazy to me.
Cause, at 32, it wasembarrassing to have to go to
(11:07):
like financial advisors and likeget turned down for renting and
getting a home when I make asignificant income, but because
my credit was so bad, because II wasn't even like monitoring,
like there was no monitoring ofanything going on oh wow.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So like did they?
Just like?
Leave you with all the debt andthen you, or like what?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
happened there, I mean.
So they paid for a lot of mylife when I was growing up.
So I have I have no ill willtowards them in any, in any
aspect.
There was an agreement that wasmade.
I decided to eat it.
There was a large portion.
There was some portion that waspaid to me and it was.
But at the end of the day, liketrying to rebuild something from
(11:54):
nothing, is the problem right?
Like he didn't have to rebuildanything.
He had like a 720 credit score.
I had like a 510.
Like I mean we were dealingwith totally different things,
because I didn't.
There was a lot of things Ididn't even know that were
getting done, because I didn'tcare, we were husband and wife.
Because I didn't care, we werehusband and wife.
You know what I mean.
And again, when people tell youthis fairy tale, like you're
(12:16):
going to own this home, you'regoing to do like you don't have
to worry about money and truly Iwouldn't have if we had stayed
together.
But you know, the chips fallwhere they may and then you kind
of have to deal with it.
And I said I'm a lawyer andthey were like we don't, we
(12:43):
don't care.
I was like check my income andthey were like no, no, we don't
care that you make this muchmoney, we that you have bad
credit, and I'm like what?
That's real.
That thing is real crazy it'sso embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
yeah, that's one of the things that like, uh, people
don't understand about credit.
And it goes the other way too,like, um, you not having any
credit, or like having a creditbut not using it, which is the
weirdest thing, right, you haveto.
In order to build credit, youhave to use your credit, which
is like okay, well then, how doI use you know?
(13:21):
Right, it's like okay.
So, yeah, like are people thatare make good money and able you
know more than enough to afforda certain thing or whatever,
but they get turned down becausethey don't have the right types
of accounts, like they don'thave long term debt, they have
(13:41):
just a credit card and theynever use the credit card, they
just have it there and sothey're like getting denied and
it's like it's really crazy.
Once I figured out, like howcredit works and, um, the whole
time growing up, like I was toldlike, yeah, don't use any type
of debt or credit or anything, Ithink that I will say, uh,
(14:03):
having that mindset from from my, from my mom and my dad, that,
uh, they were so scared of debt,like that's the only thing that
saved me from student loans.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
that's smart see, I wish my parents had done that.
Yeah, I was like it's not real,it's monopoly money it's fine, I
just remember swiping creditcards like I had a credit card
to every single like retailerthat you could probably think of
and also because no one reallyexplained things to me.
I closed accounts so I wouldfully pay them off and then I
would close them.
And it wasn't like it wasn'tlike I was leaving them up and
(14:37):
paid off, like the second I gotsome money.
I'd be like oh, I'm going topay this off and then close it,
and then they were like somebodysaid to me that's hurting, you
Don't do that, leave them open,they're paid off.
Well, I was supposed to just getrid of this.
Boss got credit card.
Like I mean it's crazy.
And it was like, yeah, it wasscary.
I mean it definitely it's beena journey.
(15:05):
It still is.
Like I mean, I think people havea conception that because I'm a
lawyer, I have my life together, and that is far from the truth
, because you know, you knowwhen divorce happens and you
kind of you rebuilding yourself.
And I think I really tried hardto destigmatize the fact of
saying I don't know and I'm lost.
You know what I mean.
Like I think that was the bigthing.
I I reached out and I was likeI have no idea what I'm doing
(15:27):
with money.
And if I don't, if a 32 yearold lawyer doesn't know, then I
don't know what we're teachingother kids.
And like, if I'm notembarrassed to tell you that I
had, like a credit score of likea 500, then like don't be
embarrassed.
Like because embarrassing, likeme sitting here and being
embarrassed wasn't going to helpit get better.
I was just going to like getstuck in this wave of me being
(15:50):
more and more upset of like howdid I get here, how did I get
here?
Instead of being like how do Ifix it?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
yeah, yeah, so, yeah, that's one of the things is
like this, this avoidance of theissue, and so I'm glad that you
decided to like, yeah, well,well, uh, yeah, it's it sucks.
I gotta figure out how to fixit now.
So, so what was that process?
Like what I guess?
Like, take us through a littlebit of that journey, like you
(16:19):
realize that, oh shit, like allmy stuff is jacked up and
everything.
So what did you do?
Like I guess first you kind ofmentioned that you did financial
planning a little bit.
But, is that what you did first?
Or like?
Did you just like?
What was it?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Oh, first I just like , was like panicking, right, so
I didn't do financial planninguntil much later.
But first I just said I waslike all right, I'm gonna write
down every single credit cardthat I have and I'm going well.
First I set my student loans upfor auto pay.
Then I said what I'm going todo is I'm going to take every
single credit card I have andI'm going to just pay the lowest
(16:53):
amount or not the lowest amount.
I'm going to pay the lowestcredit card.
So I was like, if I have thiscredit card for $100, I'm paying
it off, not closing it, payingit off.
So I paid off, I think, aroundfour credit cards and then I
said, all right, well, the nextbonus check I get or my next
referral check at my job, I'mgoing to use those.
(17:18):
I'm going to do the same thingagain and I'm going to start
backtracking and just paying offcredit cards.
Now, later I found out I shouldbe paying the credit cards with
the highest interest orwhatever.
But at the time I was just likeno, I'm just going to get them
off my credit report.
I just want to make sure thatyou know I'm, I'm paying
whatever I can, cause I cause inmy brain, which I know is not
correct now, I said well, I'drather have only three credit
(17:39):
cards, even if they have a superhigh interest rate, and I'm and
I'm paying the minimum on them,that have five at all.
Right, like I wanted to pay offthose three to get to that point
, or those two.
So that's what I did at first.
I also saw some like TikTokwhere it was like pay 15 months
before your due date, 15 daysbefore your due date, and then
(18:01):
pay, and it was like that'llraise you.
And I remember trying all theselittle schemes.
I was like maybe that will doit, maybe if I do that it'll fix
it.
But yeah, no, it's definitely alot of.
It was watching tiktoks and andreading.
And then you know having to bitethe bullet and talk to other
people and say like, like Iremember having to call, like my
, my, you know, my mom's friendsand being like hey, I, I know
(18:25):
everyone thinks I got ittogether, but like we really
don't.
And I just need, instead oflike judgment, because I think
it's so easy to be able to judgepeople about money and trust me
, like I judged myself, like Iwas like how did I let myself
get here?
And I think what was worse istelling people how I got there,
right, people being like wait,you took all the debt.
(18:45):
And I was like, yeah, I mean, Iknow it sounds crazy when you
say it, but when I said whenthey, when I said it when I was
17 years old it's a fairy tale.
It didn't sound crazy.
It sounded like I was choosingto be with somebody for the rest
of my life and you know, ourlife together was going to be
fine.
I didn't really even factor itin.
And it's like at 32, ifsomebody were, if my, if my now
(19:07):
fiance were to say, take thedebt, I'd say go get rocks now
at 32, I know better, like Ialways say to my fiance.
Now I'm like you know, when itcomes to money, like we, we, we
like check in once a month and,um, we go through, we go through
the credit cards all togetherand we say, all right, write
down all the credit cards again,let's see, you know, when one
(19:29):
of us gets a like, a like an endof the year bonus, like, or uh,
or like a referral, like I justgot a bonus, and I said, all
right, we're gonna write downboth credit cards, both people's
credit cards, and we're gonnago through them again.
And you know, when he gets his,we're gonna do it again.
And I think, like for me, thatthat was the beginning.
So the beginning was me payingoff the credit cards with the
lowest balance.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, and I will say like, yeah, there's like
strategies for credit cards, butI just like to say like
whatever is something that'sgoing to keep you paying the
credit cards is what's like,because there's no point of like
doing like the higher interest.
But then you get, like you losemotivation because you feel
(20:13):
like it's not going nowhere andso you just like give up,
Whereas like how you were doingit, you like seeing that, okay,
one checked off, another onechecked off, and then you get
some.
So it's whatever like actuallyhelps you reach the goal.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
in my opinion, the checkmark is the big thing.
Right Like?
I think that's for me.
I think the big hit to me wasin the confidence where I said,
damn, I'm really at a placewhere I'm a 32 year old
professional and I'm I have thecredit of somebody who has been
(20:47):
like I don't even know whatright Like, and I think for me,
like even now, like I still payoff the lowest things, like, and
then I, and then I I do thatthing where I like take the
credit card out of my wallet andthen I go put it somewhere
where I can't touch it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And I'm like all right.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Well, I'm not going to touch this credit card for
like a year, right Once I pay itoff.
I'm not going to touch it for ayear.
And then I'm going to work onthe next one.
I'm not going to touch it for ayear Because, you know, when I
first did it, I paid almost allof them off and then I ran them
all right back up.
Because it's like then Istarted living again, right?
So once I got myself back intoa good space I was like, okay,
(21:27):
well, I'm getting an apartment,I need to get furniture for
apartment, I need to get a bed,I need to get all this stuff.
And I ran everything back upagain.
And it's so easy to get in thatmindset, especially like when
you know your income is decent,right, like when you know your
income is decent, the like zerointerest sounds great, right?
Like so many furniturecompanies are like zero interest
(21:49):
If you pay it off by the state.
Well, I never listened to that.
So then I end up payinginterest anyway because I end up
not paying it by the date.
And I'm like, well, see, that'sjust me not being as
responsible and not financiallysound.
Now I'm like when somebodyhands me something, I'm like I
gotta read this whole thing, Igotta put the dates in my thing.
I know it's annoying to you.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
I'm sorry, but like I've just gotten played too many
times, I play myself, so I haveto really be like holding
myself accountable, because ifnot, I refuse to let myself get
in a situation like that againyeah, yeah, and that's why I I
feel like it's important toshare our stories, because it's
so easy to see like the big, youknow financial gurus or
(22:32):
influencers or whatever, andthey're like, oh, I'm a
millionaire or whatever, and itfeels like it's unachievable and
like it's not really relatablewhen the reality of most of our
stories are going through thingslike that, learning things the
hard way, like we, um, like Idid, like you did, and we tend
(22:53):
to just kind of hide that aspectof our journeys in with money.
And I feel like it's importantto share that and that way
people don't feel so much of theshame and guilt.
It's like it's just part oflife, it's part of like, um, it
would be awesome if we didn'thave to go through that by you
(23:13):
know, like you were mentioning.
Okay, now we teach the nextgeneration not to fall for some
of these things that we fell forand um, but we gotta show our
our uh downfalls too and how uhwe picked ourselves up.
So you're back up on thepicking yourself up and learning
(23:33):
and and you said you went tofinancial advising or financial
planning and things like that.
So it sounds like you're you'reyou're on the right on the, on
a good track now.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, I'm trying hard .
It's definitely like.
You know, things are sotempting to go on by buy,
especially like for me, likewhen I get a big check, you know
, I'm like, I'm like, oh god,you know I could get all this
stuff.
And then I really have toremind myself.
I have to be like no, likethat's just not, because back in
the day that was my life, rightwhen I was, when I was married
to my ex-husband it was like ifwe got money, it was money that
(24:08):
we got and we could do anythingwe want with it.
Now I'm like all right, well, Iwant to have children next year
.
Like I want to be able to feedmy children.
You know what I mean.
Like you know, I have a partnernow who's who works at a bank.
So like he's always like whatdo you mean?
You didn't read that?
And I'm like what do you mean?
I'm supposed to read it.
And he's like, yeah, like he'slike I tell you this all the
(24:30):
time.
So like he's definitely morefinancially aware than I ever
was, because he he didn't, youknow, he didn't much understand.
So it's, it's alwaysinteresting, you know, entering
a space where I'm like oh wow,you guys all know this kind of
stuff and I'm like, well, thankGod, because I don't.
(25:05):
So it's been, it's been, it'sbeen great.
Because for me, like, Idefinitely need that, that
accountability with my partnertoo.
Because I think the otherproblem is a lot of the times
people get in relationships withpeople where two people are
both living in a living beyondtheir means.
Right, and that's really how itwas with me and my ex-husband.
We had no sense of money, uh,no sense of means, and now, very
(25:27):
much like my, my fiance will belike, uh, do we need to go out
and eat dinner tonight?
Like, can we just eat?
You know the 30 things we havein the home?
And I'm like, yeah, and he'slike, no, we should do that.
Like, you know, we're going todo the savings book.
You know we write down all thisstuff.
Like I said, we have moneycheck-ins where we're kind of
like you know both like, hey,you know, this is what we have
(25:49):
to put in the pot this month.
Like, let's start making surewe save up.
So it's a journey, and I thinkI always said I was going to be
completely transparent.
When I went on the Internet, Istarted going on the.
Internet two years ago, when Iwent through the divorce and the
Internet saw the good, the badand the ugly and I said I might
(26:10):
as well take them on thisjourney too.
They might as well hear itbecause you're right, it is.
There are so many contentcreators and influencers that
have lavish lives and like areout here with like a you know a
Prada bag and like skiing in theAspen and I'm like, well, I'm
going to probably use just flyto pay for my ticket to go to.
(26:30):
Colorado make seven easypayments, um, and and I'm going
to be wearing an outfit from um,I don't know Target cider Like
I mean, for me it's just you putit into perspective and I think
I really always wanted to be asauthentic and real and let
people see like, even peoplethat expect you expect to have
it all together, don't like.
(26:51):
I'm sure it was a shock to a lotof people when I came out and
was like I'm like not only broke, I'm like beyond broke, Like
I'm in debt because I, you know,when you go through a divorce,
you were like you're talkingabout that and I'm like, yeah, I
mean, because if I'm not, noone I mean everyone expects it
to be like I don't know.
I just feel like it's tough torelate to influencers and
(27:16):
content creators when their lifealways seems perfect and I
think there's a stigma on thelike everyday person to have
everything together.
So when you see people that youexpect to have it together or
not have it together, I thinkit's like a nice refreshing
taste.
It's like watching like thereality show, that like is like
a train wreck, like I'm that,I'm that train wreck.
That's like going up and it'slike working out, but I want you
(27:38):
to see that there's still timeswhere it's like you know, I'm
like not doing all that wellyeah, um, I'm kind of the same
way.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I'm trying to kind of like show, uh, the the reality
of a lot of stuff, becauseyou'll see, like with um, real
estate investors, you see, likethe ads and stuff, I see them
all the time and they'll be likeoh, I'm a billionaire, I have a
over a million blah, blah, blah, and it's all like rainbows and
and sunshine over there, andit's like the reality is
(28:10):
different, like especially thefirst few years of when you get
into it.
It's like you actuallysometimes you lose money,
sometimes you make money orwhatever, and it's a up and down
cycle.
2024 was rough.
I just ran the numbers likeoverall I still came out at
(28:31):
least making some money.
Money, but not what I hadplanned because so many issues
and I share that, because it'simportant to share the journey
and share the reality we stillare gonna get there, you're
still gonna get and you know,get done with your dead and come
back up and then you know putyourself back on top and same
(28:53):
with with me and everything likethat.
But we don't need to likesugarcoat it and show like at at
the end because, like you said,you could just like hide it and
then all of a sudden, when youare good, like, oh, look at me,
or whatever, but hide all thethe the downs that you had.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
So I'm glad you're you're being very authentic,
thank you yeah, I mean, I thinkthe journey is half of the ride,
right.
I mean, for me it's like, it'slike nothing hits you, like your
life changing in a in a day,and I think that was the big
thing, like people were shockedthat I wasn't embarrassed and I
said I can't get any moreembarrassed.
(29:30):
Like nothing in my entire lifewill ever, ever, ever make me
feel embarrassed more so than me, literally like my husband left
me a week into my brand new joband a day before our
anniversary and I had to go backto work and everyone at my job
(29:51):
was asking me how my anniversarytrip was and I had to say, um,
it was a trip.
And then I had to speak topeople that have known me less
than a week and say, hey, we gota real issue right now because,
you know, my husband just leftme and I am now not going to be
living in that home and I haveto figure out where I'm going to
(30:11):
live and what I'm going to do.
And my boss at the time, who Istill I was still at the firm
now was so gracious, so kind,was like we will do anything.
We can tell us what you need.
Do you need us to help you getan apartment?
Do you need us to help you getyour, your dogs?
Like what do you need us tohelp you do?
Let me work like two days a weekfor almost seven months,
(30:32):
probably like my first yearthere, because I was like, hey,
guys, like this is I, I'mfiguring out where I'm going to
reside.
Like, I have my clothes in theback of my car.
So I mean, I think nothingcould embarrass me more than
having to talk to people thathad known me less than two weeks
to say, hey, my life justshattered apart when you just
asked me how my anniversary tripwas, and um, now I need to tell
(30:56):
you that I can't be at work.
And um so I mean, the moneything was so secondary to that.
So it was like it was like youknow, I, I shouldn't, I didn't
do anything wrong, I'm not goingto get embarrassed by anything
decisions that people make, andall I can do is, you know, build
myself up and try to get backto the starting line.
(31:17):
And then also, like there's adifferent level of appreciation,
I have doing it myself.
Like I think about that all thetime.
Like, even when there'sstruggles with like money and
stuff, I'm like well, I'm payingmy own rent.
Well, I bought this.
Like this'm paying my own rent.
Well, I bought this.
Like this is my bed, this is mytable.
Like you know, when me and myfiance were furnishing our
(31:39):
apartment, it was like it waslike for him he had lived in
other places before, he had hadhis own place before, but for me
I had never.
And at 32, I got to experienceall these amazing firsts because
I got to be like, oh no, thisis mine.
Like this is this, is thisthing that's actually mine.
You know, when I got my car,you know, signed over to me,
like I'm like, oh, this is mine.
(31:59):
Now, this is like my stuff thatI own and I have responsibility
for, and I think that's alsodifferent, you know, when you
look at things through your ownpockets.
It's like my mom used to saywell, if you were paying for
college, I'm sure you'd show upto class every day.
And I think it's like that withlike life.
Right now that I know I'mpaying for it, I'm like I'm
(32:20):
going to treat it better, like.
I'm like go, don't jump on that.
You know what I mean.
Be nice to that couch.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Like now I'm different Cause circle with,
like all the things that yourparents tell you well, I'm glad
that you're, uh, you're, you're,you learn, you're learning from
that and coming back up andthat sounds like going through a
cool journey.
Um of you know, basically kindof like self-discovery too,
because you start learning aboutyourself as you go through your
(32:49):
, your money journey.
And for those that are likeinterested in following your
journey, where can they reachyou?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram the most.
It's Heather, underscore r,xoxo.
And yeah, I mean there, I'm onthere.
I'm on threads.
I'm pretty active on threads.
I love threads.
It has all of my intrusivethoughts, so good.
Threads is a great place toalso find stuff.
But instagram is my main baseand I honestly like, if people
ever want to reach out to mebecause they feel like they have
(33:21):
something to be embarrassed of,please I am.
I will love to tell you someembarrassing stories and I'd
love to make people feel goodbecause at the end of the day,
like, if a lawyer doesn't haveit together, then he does not.
Embarrassing if you don't haveit together.
People expect me to knoweverything about money all the
time and I'm like.
I didn't go to school for money.
I went to school for for beinga lawyer, arguing and being good
(33:45):
at telling facts in a differentway, not nothing to do with
counting.
My boss, even to this day, willbe like have me do something
with money and I'll be like God.
Did they not teach you aboutmoney in school?
And I'm like no, I had acalculator, like you want me to
do this by hand.
Like I had a calculator.
So yeah, yeah, Awesome.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Well, thank you so much for coming on here and
sharing your story and showingthe reality of a journey that we
go through, because it'simportant, like I said, to share
our stories from our communityand so that way we could get rid
of that stigma of like thinkingthat we should all be like, you
(34:28):
know, financial gurus or moneyprofessionals, or that we got
all our shit together, when nolife, life is different, life is
going to throw you.
I knew some people that had itall all good and then they go
through something too and likethey go back down and then they
have to pick themselves back upand everything.
So, um, thank you for sharingyour journey, of course.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Awesome.
Well, that's it for thisepisode and I will see y'all in
the next one.
Bye.
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