168: Inappropriate Xmas Songs

In this year-end episode, we talk about those holiday tunes that should possibly be banned once and for all...or maybe a few of the examples are a stretch? Give a listen and decide for yourself. Also, Shelly discusses her recent trip to Utah, and there's even a surprise FUMPOTD at the end! We want to give special thanks to all of our Patreon and Supercast subscribers. We couldn't keep this show going without you! Sign up at www.latterdaylesbian.org/support, at the $5 and above level, by 12/31/22 to receive this year's Christmas letter (obviously not in time for Christmas). We'd really appreciate it. Happy holidays everybody!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://www.purple-planet.com.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
In today's episode. You know,I don't know why I'm laughing. I
don't know either. We were realizingthat this is probably the end of the
year episode. Yeah, I'm thinkingChristmas, Holidays, Hanukkah, all the
things, Festivus, Festivus for therest of us. I knew that was
coming all. In today's episode,we're really going to talk about specifically inappropriate

(00:25):
Christmas songs. There are a number, I bet there are. There are
lots and lots. Okay, Anddidn't you want to do a Utah trip
wrap up? Didn't you want todo that? You were going to talk
about that was next week? Oh? I think we're just doing Christmas songs
today. Well, we'll see howmuch time we have. Okay, next
week. What planet are you onnext time? Next time? Have you

(00:49):
seen our recording schedule? Is therea next week that I don't know?
Most time? Next time? Okay, I can get behind that. Okay,
all right, let's take a quickbreak and get into some inappropriate Christmas
music. You're right back. Hey, everybody, welcome to Latter Day Lesbian

(01:10):
the podcast. Been an ex Mormongay girl just trying to figure out her
life. My name's Mary. Myname is Shelley. Yeah, you know,
we are for the first time inour new studio. How many times
have we moved studios? Oh?God, five or six? I don't
even well. We started at theplace on Quinn Terrorists with this when we
started recording, and then we wentto Laurel Ridge, sure, and then

(01:33):
Prosperity Flats is in there. Ohgod, one Laurel Ridge backing it up.
Okay, Quinn Terrorists, Prosperity Flats, Laurel Ridge Lane, closet of
of here. Oh and Alexandria.That's Alexandria. So this isn't the closet.

(01:53):
This is so before we did inthe closet and your other right right,
right, right right? Okay,that's six. That's six. Well,
hopefully this one will be a permanentfixture, at least for a while,
since we're actually in a room that'snot a closet's a little bit bigger.
It's a it's a den. It'sconsidered a den like Daniel and the
lions Den Dan from Extension Audio,Daniel from Extension Audio. Okay, I

(02:17):
won't call you Daniel Daniel. DanielDaniel in the lions Den is another one
of those bullshit stupid stories by theway. Yeah, yeah, because he
refused to like bow down to theking or some shit. Yes, they
threw him in a lions den andthe line's just like, yeah, I
ate a gazelle earlier. I'm good. Is that what happened? Yeah?

(02:38):
Yeah, who the fuck knows,like like any of it ever fucking happened.
Yeah, it's like, well,we have to reward. See,
God smiled on him because he didn'tabandon his faith in the Lord. So
the lion didn't eat him. Let'slesson analyze that for a hot second.
Okay, so sidetrack, total sidetrack, We'll make a Christmas So it's

(02:58):
snowing out and bells are ringing inJerusalem whatever it is, and God's asking
this guy Daniel like to deny God. Right, It's typically how it goes
down. Yeah, well he wasjust like bowed down to me, and
he's like, no, I onlyworship Jesus or no, I guess Jesus
wasn't around yet, I only worshipthe Hebrew God, right, Eloheim,
Sure, Eloheim. So my questionis this, I'm assuming that Daniel has

(03:25):
possibly a wife, maybe kids,probably friends, and so you are asking
God God, I'm talking to you. You are asking this person to have
enough faith that you will save himfrom being eaten by the kittycats. But
all he has to do is say, no, I only worship you God.

(03:50):
Can we say narcissism at its finest. Well, Also, the lesson
is always worship your God. Don'tput any idols before God or something.
Yeah, right, right? Butwhat if you do all the things and
you still aren't blessed? Oh,I know there's a story of um.
I want to say, a Bena die real person in the Book of

(04:11):
Mormon, fake person and the realreal, made up name, and he
ends up being like burnt at thestake because he wouldn't like deny a God
or some shit the God or thethe God, the God. Oh well,
Book of Mormon. Yeah, Iknow. The point is that,
seriously, the point is you canlike do what God says in quotations,
but you might a still get burnedup in the fucking fire. You still

(04:31):
might be fucked. Yeah, it'sa roll of the dice. Yeah.
I love when you have that parentthat you just can't trust completely because they're
gonna just like, I don't know, are they in a good mood today?
Yeah? Today, good day forthat parent. You never are they
gonna take their shit out on meanyway? Yeah, they just rolling the
dice like today, Daniel survives,ben a die dies. Sorry boys,

(04:56):
what about Meshack, shad Wreck anda Bendigo. Well they didn't burn.
They didn't either. Remember, Ijust walk out of the fire and shit,
it's so dumb through the fire.Okay, shuck con Okay, Well
that's not the type of music we'regoing to be singing today. No,
we're singing. Well, we mightsing a lyric or two, just you
can't help yourself. I have lyricswritten down. If Mary sees a lyric,

(05:19):
is gonna get saying if I knowthe two, and I might jump
into it. All right, let'sjust speaking of jumping, jump right into
inappropriate Christmas songs. You know,I put on Oh. By the way,
if anybody has an Alexa device,you can this is what an Alexa.
Oh. This is not a promotionfor Alexa, by the way,

(05:42):
against Alexa. They're not a sponsor, right, but you can say Alexa
play I Heart Christmas, which iswhat I did. Okay the other day,
and I listened to Christmas music whileI was putting up a fake Christmas
tree in my apartment here got it. And I was starting to really listen
to some of the lyrics of someof the songs. I mean, some

(06:02):
are really obvious. We're gonna gothrough some better people already know about.
But then you get to start thinkingabout some of these other songs, You're
just like, what maybe it wasbecause they were written so long ago.
That's the other thing. It's like, we're listening to this Christmas music over
and over and over on repeat,and I cannot tell the difference between Andy

(06:24):
Williams, Perry what was his name, perrymo mel Tormet, like they all
sound the same to me. Well, they all did that dumb stylized singing.
I have an issue with old things. You know you do. She
barely will date me, everybody.It's a decision I need to make every

(06:46):
morning. She's taking the curlers outof her hair, okay, putting her
dentures back in. That's funny.Yeah, that's such an accurate picture of
me. I'm not that old,Shelly. I want to say the issue
the reason you were old acting,it's because when you were young your parents

(07:06):
were hella old, especially your dad, So you were surrounded by oldness.
These songs, though, have beenplayed for a decade. Oh I I
decade you not the songs, butyes, correct, okay, let's just
just bring a bone in here.Probably did he well? Listeners, If
you hear bone, it's Domino sayhi, Yeah, Dan's pretty good about

(07:27):
getting that stuff out, all right, jumping in. Probably the most inappropriate
Christmas song ever is baby It's coldoutside. Yeah, yeah, it's the
date rape song. Yeah. Ohthis one lyric is funny. Baby it's
bad out there? Say what's inthis drink? No cabs to be had
out there? Say what's in thisstrenk? What did he roof for her?
That's the thing. He's like,Uh, it's bad out there,

(07:47):
and the girl's like, wait,what's in this drink? I just ignore
that, Like what you can't geta cab at this hour? Yeah,
you might as well stay like what'sin this drink? Wow? If you
have to question, what is inyour cocktail? Runaway? Run away?
Yeah? Danger stranger danger, nostranger, not so stranger danger rape.

(08:09):
Just can just just say it,just say what it is. I remember
last year, the year before,something I posted on Facebook about it being
away rapey song and people, notall people, but a lot of people
were pissed, like, oh,it's just a fun you know, back
and forth will be boys, Yeah, like how how is what's in this
drink? And you ignoring that youwere asked that question and going on with

(08:31):
those stay here to stay Like,how is that a fun conversation between a
man and a woman? Yeah,she sounds terrified. Mmmmmm. At least
she's got a lot of doubts aboutthe way that evening's headed. Yeah,
basically, right, I gotta go. He's like, no, you don't,
right, Okay, let's move onto everyone knows that. Yeah,
yeah, let's move on to Rudolph. Okay. Rudolph is one of those

(08:54):
things you don't really think about beinginappropriate, right, but if you really
think about the lyrics and also thestop motion animation special, oh yeah,
you know. The whole story isRudolph is a misfit, right, He
doesn't fit in, and he's bulliedby all the other reindeer. Yeah,
they used to laugh and call himname. They sure did. Until suddenly

(09:18):
Santa realizes he's got this red nosethat glows, and he becomes useful.
I don't know why didn't Santa stepin when they were first picking up,
right, Yeah, because Santa isan asshole. Yeah, well he represents
God, yeah totally Yeah, whichbrings me to another song in a minute.
But yeah, suddenly he becomes usefuland is accepted by the entire herd

(09:41):
at that point. So if ifRudolph never became useful whatever, right,
like his nose never glowed, Yeah, he'd always be an outcast. Yeah,
they would always make fun of him, and that would just be the
end of the story. It wouldthere'd be no silver bell lining the story.
It sucks to be off. Yeah, Okay, walking in a winter

(10:03):
wonderland? Do you know what I'mabout to say on this one thinks,
So go ahead, frolic and playthe Eskimo way. God, we can't,
guys, come on, that's culturalappropriation, Like you're making assumption that
some other culture all they do isfrolic and play. Yeah, that's kind
of the least of the song's worriesif you think about it. I mean,
don't act like you know what anentire culture is all about. Just

(10:26):
don't do that, right, badidea? Yeah, okay. Next,
Similarly, the Christmas song Chestnuts Roastingand an open fire or on an open
fire, folks dressed up like Eskimos. I tell you, everybody, we
really had it out for those allright, Like what the fuck I know,

(10:50):
stop singing about Eskimos, saying,don't assume that Eskimos like own all
Christmas time behaviors like the fuck tear. My cousin who lived in Canada went
to this camp one time, wasa summer camp or something in Ohio or
something like that, and she saidshe lived in Canada, and this kid
is like, oh, do youlive in an igloo? Oh my god.

(11:11):
Although when me and my family andmy family and I whatever moved from
Alabama to New Mexico, I wasunder the impression that it was like just
sand everywhere and camels and shit camels. Yeah, I was pumped. I
mean I was excited. And thenwhen we got there and it was like
a regular ass town. And thenmy dad was going to go to the

(11:33):
grocery store before we got to ournew house, and I want to go
with him because I wanted to seewhat a Mexican looked like. Oh gosh,
wow, Jesus Christ, you're partof the problem. She was,
all right, Moving on to it'sbeginning to look a lot like Christmas.
You know what's wrong with this song, Shelley, I'm not sure? All

(11:54):
right? Let me let me readthis lyric now sing it. A pair
of hop along boots and a pistolthat shoots is the wish of Barney and
Ben Dolls. That'll talk and we'llgo for a walk is the hope of
Janice and Jen. What's the problemhere? I would have loved to have
the pistol so it reinforces gender stereotypesfor the ways for the weak little girls

(12:18):
and guns for the boys shoot shitand hop along boots boots? Oh?
Is that what that is? Well, I'm just making horse sounds. Hop
along Cassidy, I don't know it'syeah, it's probably cowboy boots. Don't
you think Mary just showed her ageagain? Hop along boots? I bet
some of her friends in fourth gradegot hop along boots for Christmas. No,

(12:41):
I'm using the context clues to piecethis together. Listeners help me out
here. Okay, so super genderum gender stereotypes, yes, okay,
Frosty the Snowman, you know theproblem is here. In my opinion,
it's my opinion, we have agrown ass man, not a boy,
not a Frosty the snow boy who'splaying with children. Your parents are entrusting

(13:05):
you to like your kids to bea babysat by this weird grown man snow
man. And then he's just gonnamelt and die. He's gonna die,
and your kids are gonna be traumatizedanymore. But if your kids are gonna
be traumatized while their friend who's thisweird snow man, you know what I
mean, and he's gonna die andthen puddle, and that's so traumatized.

(13:28):
Bach of the West, right,Okay, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.
That's just all sorts of fucked up. It's also traumatizing children because okay,
you're watching your mother kiss Santa Okay, so the idea is that it's
dead Dad's dressed up as Santa sure, and Mom's kissing dad. And I

(13:48):
didn't actually get that until I wasway older. Oh what did you think
that she was kissing on Santa Claus? Oh? Really yes, because when
you believe in Santa Claus, it'snot going to be your dad. Well,
exact the actual Santa clause at yourmom's kissing adultery well, not only
that, it's traumatized into your kid. So you either have to fess up
and say, oh, sorry,a little Timmy or whoever, little Janey.

(14:11):
I don't know why I'm coming upwith these names, because its names
Tim and Jane and Janey. Putdown your little hop along boots. Mommy
wasn't kissing actual Santa Claus. Mommywas kissing daddy dressed up at Santa Claus.
Mommy, why was Daddy dressed upas Santa Claus? Where Santa's Santa
not real and fake? See,you either have to say Santa is not
real or you have to admit tothe affair. What do you do?

(14:35):
There's there's traumatize your kids. Youtraumatize your kids. Here's what you do.
You sing a song about it.That's what you do. Uh huh
uh. And then this is aweird line that a kid is singing.
Oh, what a laugh it wouldhave been if Daddy had only seen I
think it's supposed to bean and seenmaybe a rhyme they always make ben and
seeing rhyme they don't anyway, ifdaddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus

(14:58):
last night, what a laugh itwould be you know, and when I
see my parents engaged in adultery,it's just funny. It's a nice slapper.
Oh, hilarious. That is alittle weird. I forgot about that
section of the song, isn't itweird? Okay, most wonderful time of
the year. It's the most wonderfultime of the year. Yeah, it's

(15:24):
forced happiness, shelly, seriously,seriously, much jingle belling and everyone telling
you of good gee, damn itbetter. Don't be sad. Don't be
sad. It's Christmas, for foxsake. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
It's Christmas, that's right. Patthat smile on, that's right.

(15:45):
Turn that frown upside down. It'sChristmas, right, don't be sad.
It's the most wonderful time of theyear. It is. Yeah, all
right, this is a little bitof a stretch, but I thought it
was really funny when I heard itthe other day. Okay, we wish
you a merry Christmas. You knowwhat's wrong with a song. It's rude,
threatening behavior by a bunch of hungrycarolers. Just wait, please explain.

(16:10):
Um. Oh, bring us somefiggy pudding. Oh, oh,
bring us some figgy pudding. Bringus some fig pudding, and bring it
right here. We won't go untilwe get some. We won't go until
we get some. We won't gountil we get some. So bring it
right here. Yeah, that isaggressive. I don't think that's a stretch
at all. That's blackmail. Wow, I'm gonna camp out. We're hungry,

(16:30):
kitch, pass right here on yourporch. Yeah, we're not leaving
until you feed us. What thefuck that is? Anyway? Am I
gonna make it? I don't know. I think i'd rather have whastle.
You know, here we come awhastling. Yeah, yeah, would you
rather have um cider and pumpkin pie? That's later in the show. Okay,
sorry, carry on all right?Seriously, Eartha kit and Madonna Santa

(16:52):
Baby. Seriously, it's so I'ma whore by me shit? Yeah,
materialistic? Um, Yeah, giveme a fucking diamond ring and some right
minx or whatever she wants. Sableput a sable in the house, added
to a house. Yeah, Imean i'd take that. I mean,
like, oh, it's a funcutesy song. Sure, however you want
to seduce Santa and yeah to Baby, I don't know, I've never liked

(17:17):
that song. If I'm being honest, Well, you just wouldn't throw yourself
at Santa. No, he's kindof gross. Maybe missus Claus and well
she's kind of older, oh reallylike older than you even. Okay,
Plus she likes to knit, shewants to do We don't know. Maybe
she's cool and slutty. I don'tI don't know. I have no idea
what she's like. That changed myentire view of Christmas. Thank you very

(17:40):
much. Ye slutty missus Claus,missus Claws. Well, you know Santa's
out doing his thing. I mean, he's out there kissing the moms,
right, so missus Claus should getsome, That's what I'm saying. Okay,
Grandma got run over by a raindeer. I just well, here's the
thing. She's poured drunk, Grandma, like she's had too much egg nog

(18:02):
at a party or whatever. Seriously, she forgot to take her meds.
That is in the song. Sheforgot to take her medication, and she
like has a hoofprint on her foreheadfrom being run over by dear God.
Yeah. Oh, and this isa great lyric It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the families dressed in black andwe just can't help. But wonder

(18:22):
should we open up her gifts orsend them back? What the fuck Grandma's
Jesus? Oh, do you hearwhat I hear? It's a blatant disregard
for the hearing and later seeing impairedWhen they say do you see what I
see? There's no do you smellwhat I do? You smell what I

(18:44):
smell? Like? Manger smells yeah, cowshit, cow shit, yep.
And who are the people hearing allthat? Is it like a shepherd boy?
It's like a shepherd boy. Yeah, the shepherd boy just kind of
like hanging around this day. Shepherdboy. Oh, for sure. Girls
don't do shit Chmas time. No, it's the only thing a girl does
for Christmas. Is Mary gets knockedup by God in an adulterous situation pedophilia

(19:08):
situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's forced to um give birth
to the newborn king, probably rejectedat the end because you know, like
Jesus was a bastard. Oh Ijust said that Jesus was a bastard.
Well yeah, maybe born out ofwedlock, you know. And so they
had to go to the stable becausethey weren't fit to be in the inn

(19:29):
with the respectable folk. Nope,it's scandalous if you think about it.
Truly, it's like a lifetime movie. And that's how Jesus story. Jesus
stories a lifetime it really is.We should make it into one. Oh,
jingle bell rock, it's animal abuse, right, here's the lyric,
giddy up, jingle horse, pickup your feet. Oh, let's go,
let's go, jingle horse, entertainus, Mary stretching the shit out

(19:56):
so much. I love it.White Christmas? Is it just about wanting
it to snow? Is it aboutthe white and delights in Christmas which leads
us to motab Absolutely? Okay,so we've talked about sleigh ride a million
times. We're not going to playthat clip this year. If you want
to hear that funny clip about thelast two Christmas episode, now the Coffee

(20:17):
and the pumpkin Pie or the ciderand the pumpkin pie. Say the word
coffee, Yeah, can't even sayit. Um Oh. Also, you
were saying that joy to the world, heaven and nature, saying when do
they change it to? Yeah,the Mormon switch it up to saints and
angels sing, We've got to throwsaints in there because we are the Latter
day Saints. Yeah, yeah,yeah, we'll be singing with the angels.
Uh huh. This reminds me ofsomething else that Christians have done with

(20:41):
Have yourself a Mary Little Christmas.I think it's um, through the years,
we all will be together. Maybeif the fates allow allow that's the
original. If the fates allow whatthe Christians do, If the Lord allows,
that's what the Christians change. There'sno faith because the Lord is oh
yeah, yeah, yeah, Lord'scharge. He's moving those chess pieces around

(21:03):
on a board up in heaven somewhere. Yeah. So basically it's like,
well, we'll be together unless youknow, God wants to kill one of
us off. Thanks God. Basicallyis what U saying, What a fucker
he is? That's hilarious, youknow. To wrap this section up,
I was going to talk about allthe gay mentions and going on Christmas.

(21:27):
Yeah, lots of gay mentions.Um, have yourself a Mary Little Christmas
again. Make the Yule Tide gay? I think the Uld Tide should be
gay right always? Um, orthe most wonderful time of the year again,
did we talk about that when already? Yeah, we've talked about gayness
yet. Oh, just holiday holidaygreetings and gay happy meetings. Meetings come

(21:51):
to call gay happy meetings. Oh, Carol of the bells gaily. They're
rating well, people say songs ofgood cheer. Christmas is here, gaily,
gaily. That's not really an adverbI use very often. I'm gonna
start, yeah, three goal yournew year resolution? Okay, bring back

(22:11):
gaily? H deck the halls.Don we now are gay apparel? It's
like put on gay clothes. Thisis so great. Yeah, flannel,
flannel, maybe some Doc Martins.Oh hell yeah, cargo pants, cargo
pants. And then we go toyeah mm hmmm. Oh and I found

(22:33):
this interesting little tidbit. In twentythirteen, the Hallmark company came under fire
for removing the word gay from oneof its Christmas ornaments. No ship.
Yeah. So it was like atiny sweater on an ornament. Okay,
and the sweater had the expression,don we now are fun apparel? That
is not the song. You can'tjust change coffee to cider those fuckers.

(22:59):
But why haven't they changed the worddawn? While they're at it? Don
down our apparel? Who says thatyou would? But most of the world
wouldn't say Dawn we now, Iwouldn't say that instead of let's get dressed
my shoes. No, I havenever said that on my underwear. Who's
down? Why is she dressing you? It's d o n I know Jesus.

(23:25):
All right, That's all I've gotin this segment for um an inappropriate
Christmas song, loves inappropriate Christmas?For sure. I guess we should take
a little break. Yep, don'ttalk about Utah. Sure, Okay,
well let's do it. We'll beright bagged. We are back here,
we are, we are. Soyou went to Utah a little bit ago.

(23:51):
Your mom had a doctor's appointment.You wanted to take her too,
Yes, And I hadn't been outthere for a while, so I want
to get out there and see him. I knew that my mom's health was
declined because my brother Mark had beenout there a few times. And you
know, you can't really talk toher on the phone. Yeah, they
were actually throwing around hospice for her, which when you went out there and
you were describing your time with her, it seemed like that's not yet the

(24:14):
case, right. It seems likeyou're way is away from hospital and this
is the thing. It depends.But let me let me back up.
This might take two episodes, butlet me let me start from from go
okay, Once upon a time,just killing Okay. So I flew in
to the Salt Like airport. Wow, you are really going back. I'm
actually going to go back. Iflew into the Detroit airport. You got

(24:37):
the right airport this time, Idid. I did. It's very happy
about that. I had to layover there of like fifteen minutes, not
a good thing. So they dumpedme off on Gate A one and I
needed to get to Gate A seventyeight, and so I thought, well,
I can walk this. So Istarted walking, and then I started
jogging. And then I realized afterfive minutes of jogging, and I'm not
in shape right now at all carryingluggage. I'm like at Gate A twenty

(25:02):
six or some shit. So nowI'm panicking because I can hear them all
the way down the hall saying lastcall for boarding to Salt Lake City.
I'm like fuck. So I runto some other gate and say, hey,
can you call ahead to Gate seventyeight blah blah blah, Like yeah,
why don't you take the tram Ididn't know there was a tram.
Oh shit, I didn't see thetram. So I ran upstairs to trim

(25:23):
and yeah, they got me there, but I was still late. I'm
like hauling ass through all the chairsand ship to get there. And there
were like two agents staying there,and one's like, it's okay, you
don't have to run. The otherone goes you better hurry. I know.
It's funny. So there's nothing morefun than getting on a plane that
they have held up for you andhaving to walk down the aisle with your

(25:44):
luggage hitting people on the head asyou're walking, and they know, the
people there know that it's your faultthat they're running late. Yeah, what
do you just carrying your luggage andyour arms? Is that why? I
had a backpack and I had twobackpacks, and I had the bigger ones
lung over only one shoulder, whichisn't good because then it's like heavy on
the right side with a big neckpillow on it, and so that was

(26:06):
hitting people in the face. Yeah. Wow, you sound like a good
time on an airplane. Such agood time. How many airplane neck pillows
do you own at this point?So this is a It's like a running
joke between It used to be acause for contention. Now it's just a
running joke. Marriage given in tryingto make me stop this. But I
always of the time forget to bringmy airplane pillow when I travel and I

(26:30):
get to the airport. Now I'mlike, fuck, and so I buy
another airplane pillow. I probably haveat least twenty in my closet, you
thank Yeah, that many sit fifteenminimum. I mean I have taken several.
I use them like to read andstuff in bed. I put them
under my behind my neck, andI have them like at all of our
airbnbs and everywhere. I've got oneeverywhere, Yeah for every place. Yeah,

(26:52):
yeah, that I inherited from Shelley. Yes, but I did remember
this time. Oh yeah, lookat you go? No, thank you?
Wow? Any who, so weland in salt like I don't know
if those of you know this whowere kind of newer listeners. But back
in the day Mary created a ringtone. Can they still download that?
Yeah? Yeah, yeats camp.Anyone can download it. If you're anyone

(27:15):
at all, you can download this. Well, why don't you just tell
what it is and then I'll saythe link to get there. Well,
I want you to sing it.It's the fucked up more men call of
the day, but m bomb.So let's just call the dancer phrase.
So we've talked about the ring tone. I know it's been a while,
but it's so great, and thatis my dad's ring tone. I think
you can just go to letterday lesbiandot org slash ring tones. Okay,

(27:36):
go find it. I think that'swhat that is. Anyway, it's phenomenal.
So every time your dad calls,which is a lot, it's at
least once a day. Oh,but when I was in Utah, it
was probably every thirty minutes average,like like Psycho and so kip. It's
the second we land, right,you know, we pull into the Oh
there's clean and explicit versions on thatlink. By the way, Oh,

(27:57):
what's the not fucked it's the fedup I chose. I went with fucked
up. Yeah. Yeah, myringer was on super loud. I didn't
realize it, and of course mydad calls and it blasts. I was
on the airplane, but it wasquite on the airplane because we were like
we had taxied up to the gatething and we're just waiting for them.

(28:18):
To open the door. Anyways,had laughed myself, so I didn't really
care, and I'm sure there wereMormons there, but I did turn my
finger down a bit. So thedrive m it doesn't matter. Didn't you
rent a card or not? Idid, but it was an orum doesn't
matter. Okay, So the driveback, my dad just starts calling.
He can't not call. Um he'sgot dementia, but he also has OCD

(28:41):
for sure, one hundred percent.This is not me like making fun of
an OCD issue, but it's sofucking annoying with my dad because I don't
think he called because he forgets tocall. Maybe some of it. I
don't think he calls because he thinkshe has important things to say. I
don't know. But it's it's likehe gets this urge to call and he
can't not call. Yeah, Iknow, too bad. He can't just

(29:03):
channel that OCD energy to someplace.So it's something else, like cleaning cleaning
he does. He does that topicking up little pieces of lint off my
mom's carpet. Oh wow, he'sfastidious. He is. He is,
and again like a person word Idon't even know what that meant. But
again, not making fun of anyonewho suffers from OCD. I'm just explaining
how it is for me dealing withmy dad with the OCD. Well,

(29:26):
I have to say, you knowyou're venting about it now, but on
the phone with him, you areso patient. Thank you, because it's
literally the same conversation every time hecalls you. Yeah, whether it's daily
or multiple times a day, andI know it's going to be zact and
conversation. I didn't have that sortof patience with my mother quicksidebar. My

(29:48):
mother would tell me the same storymore than once. I would just help
her with filling in the details andan engaging, interactive way. Sure,
I bet she appreciated that. Well, she didn't at all. I'd be
like, she'd start telling the story. I was like, oh, yeah,
that's the story where you left yourI don't know, purse or whatever
in Pat's car, whatever happened withthat, right, I was trying to
be engaging, and she'd say,well, you could at least pretend you'd

(30:08):
never heard it before. So muchfor making conversation. Yeah, so much.
But you're really good about pretending you'venever heard it before. Thank you.
You really are. I mean,I under as much as annoying as
it is, I understand that hecan't control it, and it doesn't do
any good to get angry at him, doesn't do any good to point it
out because it's no And I feellike he probably doesn't realize how bad his

(30:33):
dementia is because I think that Idon't know. Probably not, yeah,
because that's part of dementia's You don'tknow that you're dealing with it. Possibly,
Why would I want to sort ofshame him and remind him of him
getting old and having dementia, Likethat's, oh yeah, you're you're very
patient, thank you. So you'repatient with older people as you are with

(30:53):
your children. You're a very patientperson. Thank you. Maybe I'm just
too lazy to actually'd fucking say anything. You're not really listening, that could
be well, you know when tostop listening. Like when my dad calls,
I just tune out. I knowwhen he pauses, I say,
oh yeah, Dad thinks that's awesome, Like I get it. Anyway,
As I'm driving toward or Um,my dad starts calling, and of course

(31:14):
he's asking me what time I'm goingto be there for the twelfth time,
and I just remind him and everything. But the best best slash worst part
is he keeps saying, well,now do you know where to park?
And you know I've been there abunch of times. Oh yeah, Dad,
there's a there's a parking lot there. Well, you can't park in
the musing dad voice, Well,you can't park in the parking lot because
it's only for residents. And I'mthinking, how may those residents actually drive?

(31:37):
Yeah, you don't want them tobe driving. Probably, No,
you certainly don't want your parents drive. Oh god, no, they haven't
driven in forever. And so hewas telling me, Oh, you need
it. You need to park atMagglebees and just walk across the street.
Like okay, Dad, I'll goout there and wait for you to show
you Dora park my dad, it'ssnowing. Like no, Dad, Dad,
you don't need to oy. Yeahyeah, I'll hope you get across
the street like Dad, I knowhow to cross a street. Like I

(32:00):
can do this, you can?I sure she can't. Well, you
know, I need to show youwhere the door is, Like Dad,
I know where the door is.Why don't you go inside and warm up?
I know it's snowing, Go inside, warm up. I'll just call
you soon as I get there.Wow, okay, ten minutes later,
Ah, so looks like there's parkingon the street. My dad, go
inside. There's been outside the wholetime? Yes, Why because he didn't

(32:22):
think that his daughter knew how todrive or park or walk or find a
door. You know, we're helplesswomen, little ladies. Would he do
the same for your brothers? No? Really? Yeah, okay, he
might call a few times or remindingwhere in the park, but he's not
going to make sure they could walkacross a road like stand out in the
parking lot. I should compare noteswith your brother Mark to see if he's

(32:43):
ever had that. You should askif he ever if he ever stands in
the snow waiting for him to helphim get across the street. I doubt
it. I sincerely doubt it.Oh my god. So, as I'm
getting closer and closer, he's literallycalling every ten fifteen minutes reminding me of
where to be right the last timebecause I'm like, Dad, I'll be
there in a minute. Just goinside. I know where to park,
YadA YadA. As I'm pulling up, I'm like, I don't even want

(33:07):
to see him, right now Iwant to go spend time with my mom,
because when I'm with my mom andmy dad, my dad really takes
over the conversation and he's very speaksfor her. He does granted she can't
really speak for herself right now,but he's always spoken for her, and
he's very down, like, well, your mom's arthritis and blah blah blah
and Russia and Ukraine, and Imean, it's always just something end of

(33:29):
worlds shit. So I parked aroundthe side of the building and I snuck
in the side door so I wouldn'thave to see my dad because I wanted
some time with my mom. SoI went in there and I'm sitting there
chatting with my mom and will notreally chatting. I'm just kind of saying
hi to her and hugging her.She she wasn't being at all conversational at

(33:50):
all the first night I was there, and within a few minutes, I
look out through the blinds and there'smy dad staring into her room. Why
did he just come in because hewas trying to wait for me to in
the snow, to show me whereto park and how to walk. I
got a great picture of that.By the way, too, when he
should probably make that the picture thatgoes with this episode, okay, of

(34:13):
my dad in the snow, staringinto a window, and I'm like,
oh my god. Then I partof the blinds and saw my dad now
just trying to call me over andover. Oh okay, see who's on
the phone trying to call me?Is your fucked up Mormon call of the
day ringtone? Hell? Absolutely,This is why it's so funny to me.
Did your mom flinch? No?However, finally answered the phone,

(34:34):
I'm like, oh, yeah,Dad, I'm inside. How would you
get in there? Like? Ijust went inside the door? He was?
He was. You couldn't believe it. No, I couldn't believe you
got in there on your own?Yeah, Like wow, how what kind
of a miracle that's a dendermercy?Is a Dendo mercy? Well, maybe
you're a little more intelligent than hegives you credit for. Could be Could
you figured out how to get intoa building all on your own? Well,

(34:54):
at first I figured out how topark, where to park, and
how to walk. Yeah, you'redoing You're doing a great job. Thanks.
Thanks. Despite my upbringing, thefirst time I got any reaction out
of my mom that first evening andthat I was there was when I told
her that I snuck in past Dadaand that he's standing out in the snow

(35:15):
not knowing where I am, butI snuck passing because I don't want to
deal with him. She smiled.I got a smile out of her.
There's something some kind of connection betweenme and my mom making fun of my
dad that we kind of bond overyea, And that always makes her smile,
always lifts her spirits, And Iknow I can always bring that when
I'm visiting. So now, inmy regular fashion, I'm going to back

(35:37):
up. Oh where are we going? Mary loves a good backup. I'm
like, where where is the storyheaded? I said, wherever I take
it, wherever it lands. Listeners, just try to keep up, stay
on board. We have to reverseand try to stay awake. Yeah what
wake everybody? Okay. So,for some re in this particular drive from

(36:01):
Salt Lake to Oorum, maybe becauseit wasn't dark out yet I got in
at like two o'clock, I wasjust having a lot of nostalgia, I
guess, just from seeing the landscape. Yeah, but lots of lots of
memories just coming through and maybe it'sbecause I'm not angry anymore. I think
I'm more like like that was mystory, that was my upbringing. I

(36:22):
don't know it's weird. I'm notangry. I just don't think I'm angry
anymore. Well good, I mean, I don't know. Be whatever you're
gonna say, I mean, becauseyou too, It doesn't matter. Moved
through a lot of that. Yes, And that doesn't mean I'm better or
I've improved. Doesn't mean a damnthing except for for me personally. I've
moved through the anger. Does itfeel better to not carry anger around?

(36:42):
Yes. Having said that, othermemories then started popping up, and it
was weird because it was God,I don't even know how to describe it.
It's it's like there were a lotof not great memories in my marriage.
It's very difficult. Sure. Atthe same time, I always enjoyed
Christmas time in Utah like snowy andit felt like Christmas, and it smelled

(37:06):
like Christmas and you'd go see family, and so it was weird to have
these good memories but also the badmemories. At the same time, it
was almost like it was more goodmemories because I wasn't angry anymore. Yeah,
either memory good, bad, indifferent They're all valid, right,
But to have I don't know,it's like the less angry memories. Does
this make any sense? Feeling?The angry memories were not there, Okay,

(37:31):
it was the good memories that werethere. And then that kind of
threw me off because typically back inUtah, angry memories, right, So
it was this weird feeling of Idon't want to say visiting home because it
wasn't quite like that, but itwas visiting something familiar, but not not
in an angry way that it was. It was just in a this is

(37:52):
my past feelings? Did it makesense? Good feelings about it? Sad?
What were you feeling? I don'tknow. It wasn't good like,
oh my gosh, I loved ithere, and it wasn't sad like like,
oh this sucked. It was itwas nostalgia, yeah, but usually
I think that we when we talkabout nostalgia, we talk about good feelings.
It was like I was feeling thefeelings of when I was there.

(38:12):
You are good at that? Though? Am I better or worse? When
I think of old memories For themost part, unless it's of my father
dying. I don't really picture itso vividly. I think you just have
a really vivid picture of a lotof things. I think, so it's
probably trauma. It's probably a trauma. Yeah, trauma response. I'm constantly
having nightmares awake or sleep you are, Yeah, because that's why I probably

(38:35):
can remember finding my father dead.Is because it's a trauma response and I
remember it. You know, Ican't make it go away. It's imprinted
on my brain. Yeah. SoI think similarly, you just have these
really visceral responses to memories because it'sprobably a lot of it as trauma.
Sure, like some of the thingsyou've been through with some of the fun
patriarchs in your life. Good times, Yeah, good time. We get

(39:00):
into that more on scandal session.We do, fact the most recent scandal
session. It's about family. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty in depth.
Yes, yeah, saved it forscandals. I don't want that out everywhere.
Yeah, you really don't, Yeah, you don't. I'm wondering too,
if my drive was more nostalgic,whatever you want to call it,

(39:20):
less angry, more feeling feelings thatare not I wish there was a word
for the feeling I can't get thatfeeling into words. I U see.
A'm good at describing feelings, butthis is escaping me. It kind of
felt like it wasn't that long ago, but it was. And the Christmas
Eve feelings were there, but theywere distant, but they weren't gone when
they used to be just gone?Is it conflicting because those memories were steeped

(39:44):
in Mormonism for you, you know, for some reason, that didn't cross
my mind, the Mormon aspect ofit. And I'm just talking about the
drive there. I mean, someMormon shit obviously seeped in on the visit
and we'll talk about it later.Maybe that's what it was. There was
no Mormons shit involved in my feelingsas I was driving, because I wasn't

(40:04):
thinking about the MOTAB. I wasn'tthinking about anything warm and related. Honestly,
there was nothing for that part ofthe trip. I didn't you do
some sort of church service with yourparents? Yes, and we will get
I know the Church is true,Okay, that's what I contribute. That's
what I would say. That's allI would notice say, which I don't
think the church is do it alllie? I know the church is fake.
That would be what I would say. Yeah, they probably don't wuld

(40:25):
appreciate that. Yeah, I'd beenkicked out, they'd shut down my mic.
Yeah. I wonder too if myfeelings were what they were in knowing
that my mom is so kind ofnear the end dish. I mean,
who knows she could go on livingfor a long long time, but she
is mentally checked out. Yea,And so maybe that was part of it.

(40:46):
It was just so different. Idon't know. I wonder if few
listeners have had a time where you'vesort of worked through your trauma and then
when the anger's gone, like otherthings seep in that are not angered,
but they're just I mean, werethey good feelings for you? Good memories
or hard to describe? Yeah,it wasn't. It wasn't necessarily specific memories,

(41:09):
although I did remember back when welived there, I would go horseback
riding up in the mountains and thesnow a lot, and I love that,
And that popped into my head becausethe mountains were covered in snow.
And I'm sure you have a conflictingchildhood and young adulthood because you, I'm
sure enjoyed many aspects of it.Then you had a lot of trauma and

(41:30):
you're abused a lot. Yeah,so it's it's got to be challenging.
Yeah, you know, you're stillworking through your stuff. You may not
feel angry right this minute, oreven most of the time, but yeah,
I'm sure you're still processing. Ohsure, And so when you go
back there, it's gonna bring upa lot of things. We are definitely
complex beings. Indeed, there's there'sno black and white. It's just a

(41:52):
big mixture of a bunch of shit. Yeah, and then we peel it
apart and feel different things. Andyeah, I mean, and I'm here
for it, Like really, I'malong for the ride. I feel like
this as hard as things can be, sometimes as traumatizing as saying it's it's
who I am. Yeah, thesethings make me who I am. Could

(42:13):
I have done without some of thethings? Hell yeah, but it is
what it is. And so nowmoving through it and having other emotions come
in, other feelings come in,Like that's the human experience. It's kind
of badass if you think about it, that we have all that within us.
Don't you wish though, that someof the memories or some of the

(42:35):
events that were not so great thattrigger memories today. Don't you wish you
could just be done with them?I wish I could be done with them.
Sure, Yeah, it's awful.Some of them are horrible to have.
I'm not saying that like, oh, I'm I'm so glad that I
was molested when I was date.Let's think about that now. Fuck,
that absolutely not matter if I hadn'tthought about that in a while. Thanks

(42:57):
for bringing it up, Mary,But just that we are capable, I
guess, of experiencing so many thingsand moving through it and processing it and
feeling the different emotions. I don'tknow. Maybe that's just me, Maybe
that's just how I work. Isnow I'm finally recognizing all the shit that
I feel. Well, you're opento it. You have to be open

(43:17):
to that experience because it's not alwaysfun, you know, and it doesn't
hit you all at once, andsometimes it can be like, oh,
I didn't expect to feel this feelingright now about something completely unrelated that will
happen to me. Yeah, youand I have difficulty over schedules and planning.
We do. And I got tothinking about it. Why I can

(43:38):
be so rigid about schedule stuff andknowing what the schedule is, knowing what
the plan is, knowing what isexpected to me, and all that sort
of thing is because what was themost unexpected, horrible surprise ever in my
entire life, Oh, finding myfather dead at age twelve. Yeah,

(44:00):
with no one in the house,no one in the house, no coping
skills, no right, And thatwas my main panic attack that I've ever
had in my life. Was thenyeah, right, And that's why it's
so vivid. And that's why Ithink I try to control the unexpected.
I just don't like the unexpected.I like to know what's happening, what
to expect. It's got to berelated to that. It's got to be

(44:20):
related to that. It might be. I'm trying to be like mitigate that
whole process and keep the surprises onthe lowest level. Right, I can't
handle it, right, So we'reall working through our shit. Man in
different ways and affects us in differentways. So that thing that happened when
I was a kid still affects meto this day. Yeah, it affects

(44:40):
your behavior, It affects how youtake things in. You know, it
hurts your feelings in a way thatI don't that I don't understand until you
sort of understood it and explained itto me. It's not even as simple
as it hurts my feelings, itsends me into a panic. Well yeah,
but a lot of it was beingabandoned. Yeah, sure you felt
abandoned. And when when we talkedall that through and you were like,

(45:01):
I feel abandoned if you ditch mefor something else. Yeah, like if
you're I feel and you know,we process that and I realized, fuck,
I don't. I know, I'mnot abandoning you. But your feelings
are legit, they're real, theycome from trauma. Like, I'm not
going to argue that shit. Wellright, yeah, there's no point in
doing that. We have right,your experience as yours and mine is mine.

(45:22):
There's there's no right or wrong.Absolutely right, yeah, absolutely,
I know this stuff's complicated. Isthis how we really want to wrap up
our Christmas holiday episode? Christmas?You don't celebrate Christmas? Happy holidays to
you. Actually, let me throwone more thing in there to stop this

(45:43):
section of the Christmas holiday, becausethere's a lot more about sacrament, meeting
with my parents, and I meanthere's a lot in there, just jammed
into three days. One thing thatI was able to enjoy Christmas related is.
And I've said this before, Imissed the Christmas songs, whether they're
bullshit or not, I just kindof miss appropriate Christmas songs. Do you
miss those? Sure? No,because they were still played it. It

(46:04):
was like the Jesus Christmas ship thatI had to let go of is it
was like fuck that lie. Well, now that my boy David Archie Letta
has left the church and has comeout of the closet as a full blown
gay, I listened to his Christmasmusic and I loved it. Somehow,
I didn't feel like I was beingcoerced. Does that make sense? It

(46:24):
does, Okay. I wonder ifhe would release an album like that now
though, because he didn't you releasethat album when he was still in the
Mormon Church. Probably there's a recentone. Yeah, yeah, I don't
know. I'm not saying that thatmatters, but I'm just wondering if he
would release something like that now.I don't know. For some reason,
I appreciated that he's now gay andleft the church and I could listen to

(46:45):
the Christmas ship. Well, theChristmas songs are pretty like oh Holy night,
it's a beautiful song. But Ijust don't buy it. I'm sorry
where he's like, I'm not aboutit. It's a pretty song. Let's
change. I'm sorry. I thinkit's all fake. Yeah, sorry,
can't can't get behind that. Wow? Okay, but happy holidays? Yeah

(47:06):
and all? Yes, we reallyknow how to bring the Christmas cheer,
don't it was excited for Christmas?Nah? We fucking crushed this episode?
Yeh? Did we? If you'rekilling sad? I just want to sleep
through to the new year. Wedon't blame you are bad. Maybe we
want to do that too, Iactually we do. Fuck? I know.

(47:27):
Well, maybe it'll be better afterwe do some patron names. Oh
yeah, we should name them afterinappropriate Christmas songs. Perfect, Okay,
let's take a break and do that. When get back sounds good. Did
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awesome deal on the your fucking awesomeblend from Modest Mixed Ease and Happy fucking
holidays. We are back for somepatrons. Before we jump into patron names,
just a little reminder about the Christmasletter, which will not be delivered
in time for Christmas but never reallymight be your thing. It's written,

(49:01):
we gotta do all the things.We gotta print out some sort of card
thing that you want to sneak overto my ex's and print out the paper.
Oh yeah, in a picture.We're trying to get a picture lined
up too, so sure, yeah, yeah, I don't know all that's
involved out What do you think thisepisode will come out probably in the next
couple of weeks before Christmas, rightbefore Christmas. So let's say anyone who

(49:22):
joins by December thirty first atay fivedollars level Patreon or supercast, you will
get a Christmas letter. And canI just say this letter is three pages
front and back. Whoa Shelly gosh, do you have carpal tunnel? All
right? You all right? Alittle bit? You might kissed them later,

(49:44):
Okay, one at a time,one at a time. So yeah,
it's a good one. And youremembered that our other listening platform is
super Cast. I'm so proud ofyou. Christmas Mirrica, squad Cast,
super Cast a Christmas miracle. Thankyou, baby Jesus. If you are
interested in getting of three pages frontand back Christmas letter from Shelley and whatever

(50:07):
else we're throwing in them, stickwhatever we can, whatever we can find,
throw in their dog hare I likeit. You can join us at
latter day lesbian dot org slash supportthat's the one, yeah, and join
us at the five dollars in abovelevel to get your Christmas letter. Okay,
first, Patron, I've got thelist here this week, I want
to say him, oh, you'regonna say, wrote them down. Oh,

(50:29):
okay, okay. First patron isBecky b B. I want to
do this one. Okay, balls, duh, Christmas balls, Chrismus balls,
Becky balls, Becky balls. You'rewelcome to the walls the balls with
Becky's balls. Speaking of balls,next one is Rachel h. What does

(50:51):
that have to do with balls?Hung? Oh Jesus, these are appropriate
Christmas songs. Well they are RachelHung. They are now Becky's balls,
and Rachel is hung. Thank you. Well, I'll take the next one.
Okay. Jody I and a funnystory about Jody. We have been

(51:12):
friends for I think twenty seven plusyears. Actually that was the last time
we saw each other. It's probablyabout I don't know, over thirty years.
I'm guessing we've known each other.We've lost touch off and on,
but we are back in touch.In fact, she and her husband just
came for a visit. Shout outto Jody and Steve. Jody and Steve,
sorry I couldn't make the visit.Thanks for picking up the tab at
the ship. I wish I wouldhave made the right I know. There

(51:36):
was such a lovely surprise there atthe end anyway, we gotta give Jody
a new name. And because it'sinappropriate, I don't know. Maybe the
I can stand for Eglu because that'sdid you say Eglu? What did I
did? I say it wrong?You said Eglu? It's an Igloo.
I'm pretty sure they have eglus andZion. Oh my god, I am
pretty sure. No one, nolistener here says eglu. All say the

(52:00):
sentences lived in igloos say it.I'm not saying, just say. I
want to say. You say it'sterrible. I know it is, but
we're going after the stupid song godIgloo coolers. Doesn't the Igloo company make
well? Now you're saying igl youwere saying Eagle, I say something between
Igloo and I can't even say itnow, Jody Igloo, thank you?
Sorry about pronunciation for your name.Oh my god, who's next? Chris

(52:28):
Chris w w Wastle? I cando better than that? What white,
White and delights some Christmas? Yes, I'm dreaming of a white and delights
some Christmas. Yes, Chris whiteand delights some Christmas. That you're dreaming,
Chris, Christmas, it's even better, Chris White delights some Christmas.
Thank you for your patronage. That'slong. That's too long to get on

(52:50):
a license fast for It might taketwo or three lines, but it might.
Okay, who's the last patriots?Lastly, Emily are are? And
you know if you have not heardyour name yet, we're back in June.
Kids, We're we're backloged. Idon't know. Shelley likes to dull
them out in these tiny little amounts. I said, we could do more
of the problem as you're like,I can't think of enough Christmas names.

(53:13):
Oh it's my problem. Yes,I would do them all right now with
Christmas names? Boom boom boom.Okay, do you have one for Emily
R? Reindeer? Enough? Appropriate? Just was the first thing that came
to my head. It's not wordassociation, okay, Emily, Oh Rufy?
Like, what's in this drink?Say? What's in this drink?

(53:35):
Rufi? Brought to you by EmilyRufy. Emily Rufy. Oh my god,
that's kind of horrible and funny andhorrible. Sorry, it's like two
horribles and one funny all at once. Oh my god, what a fucked
up song. And sorry Emily Rufy, But thank you, thank you for
your support. Thank you everybody foryour support. We really really appreciate it.
One day we're going to get throughthat list. Gosh darn it.

(53:58):
You know it's funny because some peoplewill drop off Patreon for various reasons and
then come back six months or ayear later what have you, and we
read them again and give them anew name. Is that fair? People
trying to collect new names? Isthat what's happening? We need to keep
a record. I know I'm terribleat record. Record in Heaven. Keep
the record of who's been in arecord? Ven your name? Okay,

(54:28):
here's the problem is I don't knowthe exact name of it. Just go
with record in Heaven? Whatever record? Did we keep the music already?
Yeah? Okay, Um the fuck? That Mormon phrase of the day today
is record in Heaven or Heaven's record, Heavenly record, heavenly record. Now
record sounds really weird time the moreyou say it, what do you think?

(54:51):
Uh? Well, is it likeif you become baptized here on this
planet, you are now entered,Like maybe you're name is entered into some
sort of book, like Heavenly book. Fine, she got it right.
That ding ding ding ding ding dingding ding ding. Yes, well it
makes sense. But there's also thepart of that where if you and I

(55:15):
don't know if this is actually taught. It was taught to me that if
you leave your church and have yourrecords removed, they like your name is
blotted out, expunged, no blotted. The word was blotted. Oh from
the heavenly record book. Yeah.Did any else hear this, grown up
Mormon? Or is it? I'msure it's not just me? Who else?
What else have you guys heard about? Maybe that's why they need a

(55:36):
lawyer to remove your name here onearth, because I don't know how we're
gonna get to heaven and block thatshit. That's right. They send More's
code up there. Yeah, orfacts, because facts they're really behind the
times. The Mormons. Oh,I just paused and looked up Record in
Heaven LDS. It says when aperson has a testimony of the Gospel and

(55:57):
bears witness to others, that testteimony is recorded in heaven and the angels
rejoice. That sounds so fucking dumb, And then let's talk about how boring
acid is to be an angel.It's like you're sitting through eternal fast and
testimony meetings. Well. Also,I still am flummixed old person by the

(56:20):
fact that angels were humans according toMormons. Of course there were angel or
humans who never got married or sealedto anyone. Now they're just angels.
Oh my god. They have tocome up with reasons for again. It's
like, well, then, okay, then that seems like a better,
more exalted thing to be than ahuman. No, sure, So why
there was angel Morona? I washe married? I don't fucking know.

(56:42):
Like again, we're arguing about fakeshit. M hm, yes we are
whatever, and on that we're gonnawish you a merry fucking fake christ Man.
Just kidding. That was a weirdepisode. It was a little weird
kind of meandered it did. Imean, don't they all guess Christmas is
based on the birth of a saviorand I don't believe that's true. So

(57:07):
does that make it marry fake missMary? Fake mess? Oh wait,
we're really bringing people up. Sorryif we brought you down too much in
this episode, everybody. I hada good time though. If you're feeling
down, you just sing those inappropriateChristmas songs and cheer yourself right the fuck
back up? Yeah, what wasthat one. It's the most wonderful time

(57:30):
of the year. Don't be depressed. See yeah, the funk out of
bed. It's the most wonderful timeof the Year's right, It got nothing
to be sad about. It's right. Plow yourself up by your damn Christmas
bootstraps. Santa's boots. Wait,what were those boots? Boots are made
for walking? No, the bootsthat little boys get for Christmas. Oh,
hop along, hop along boots.Plow yourself up by your hop along

(57:52):
bootstraps. And now we have comefull circle. We really have Thank Dan
from Extension Audio. Thanks for leavingit in Dan for another whole year.
We really appreciate you, and weappreciate all of you listening. Thank you
so much. Happy New Year,Mary, Holidays, all that stuff.

(58:14):
Happy New Year to everyone listening.We'll talk to you in twenty twenty three.
Wait, why still? Oh?I have to stare clear of cults
because they're no joke, no jokeat all, even in twenty twenty three.
Yeah, I'm gonna start the newyear right, all right, everybody,
talk to you later. Bye.