170: Name That Religion

In this episode, Shelly decides it will be really fun to quiz Mary on some of mainstream religions' more wacky beliefs. Can you guess which answers she got right? Also, we read a listener letter, and get stuck on an odd discussion about foreskins. It happens.

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://www.purple-planet.com.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
And today's episode. You know,Shelley's taken this one because I really have
no idea what we're doing. Whatare we doing? Well? You will
be reading a letter, oh okay, and I found an awesome religious quiz
A quiz don't Mary baby? Oh? All of you will be playing alone?
Well you can play at home game. Yes, m okay, Well

(00:23):
that sounds like a barrel of fun. It will be. Let's take a
break and get into it, alrightybere it back. Hey, everybody,
welcome to Latter Day Lesbian, thepodcast about an x more man gay girl
just trying to figure out her life. I'm Mary, I'm Shelley, and
here we are once again in thestudio. We are I think we've realized

(00:46):
that we're churning out about one episodeper month. Yeah, for those of
you keeping tracking, For those ofyou are like where the fox the episode?
We're in a slow roll. Yeah. Mary is very busy with her
full time job, and Mary doesa lot of the editing for the podcast
after Dan, so you know,we have to kind of put things in
order. You know. Also,after four years of podcasting once a week,

(01:08):
yeah, I have a lot.I burned out. Yes, that's
what happened. What was the expressionthat Kimberly said, don't set yourself on
fire trying to keep other people warm. Yep, I was trying to cover
for Mary, acting like she wassuper busy at work. Because I am
an apologizer, So I apologize.I apologize for that must just be real.
Like, Yeah, four and ahalf years of once a week podcasting

(01:30):
plus that stint of midweek letters,well that went away a while ago.
No, I know, I'm justsaying that was a lot. We have
more than just one hundred and seventyepisode, which is what the number we're
recording right now. Regardless, regardless, that's a lot. I got tired.
Yea. Yeah, we have lovedit and we are still loving it.
It's just less, there's less ofus to love. Well, I

(01:53):
just needed a little break, Yeah, I needed a breaking break. Yeah.
And also I think we're we're kindof running out of Mormon like strictly
Mormon contents. We gotta figure thatout. Yeah, we're shifting to some
other We're gonna have to shift alittle bit. Yeah, obviously the Mormon
Church will do some stupid fuck upshit from time to time, but we
will jump all over that because theycan't help themselves. Actually, there's a

(02:15):
little bit of one thing that wecan address today. Oh yeah, you
want to dive into it now?Should we? Should we? It's up
to you, apparent. Let memove my paperwork out. This is my
paperwork. Oh okay, that wasthe words all your notes right now,
Mary's like, we're gonna edit thatout. I don't know, depends on
if I feel like, yeah,that's true, that's true. So do
y'all remember when you're Mormon friends recentlyand my Mormon friends for sure are all

(02:42):
happy about the Mormon Church suddenly backingsame sex marriage rights. When did they
do that? Well, they kindof didn't, But there was this thing.
Let me read this because I'm surethat I will get it wrong.
Is this recent? Okay, thiswas the end of twenty twenty two,
so I'm not that old, allright. On Tuesday, ahead of the
Senate's planned vote on a law toprotect some rights of same sex couples,

(03:04):
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints released a surprising statement in support
of the Senate's Respect for Marriage Act. We believe this approach is the way
forward as we work together to preservethe principles and practices of religious freedom,
together with the rights of LGBTQ individuals, much can be accomplished to heal relationships
and foster greater understanding, wrote theMormon Church, which has long taught that

(03:29):
acting on same sex attraction is asin, and excluding the children of same
sex couples from baptism and naming ceremoniesonce again, who's acting? Sorry every
time? So so on the surface, and what the current Mormons are believing

(03:51):
is that, oh, look,the church is becoming even more progressive now.
They're like, yeah, same sexcouples. Yeah, we're so behind
that. Yes, that's weird,totally weird. And when something seems totally
weird and out of character for theMormon Church, when you're like, wow,
that's progressive, you gotta dig alittle deeper. Okay, So is

(04:12):
that what you did? We're about? Well, I just kept reading the
article. Okay, that's my digginga little deeper. Paragraph. Are you
going to launch your new career asan investigative reporter? You know, if
an investigation means the next paragraph?Cru yeah? Scroll? Okay. Of
course, the show of support forthis particular bill is not as much of

(04:35):
a bear hug to LGBTQ rights asit may seem, duh. A closer
look at the nuts and bolts ofthe Senate's Respect for Marriage Act shows that
it does not codify a federal rightto same sex marriage. Rather, requires
state governments to respect same sex marriagesthat happened when same sex marriage was legal.

(04:56):
Can you say, same sex marriageand sex same sex, same sex.
We need to make a drinking gameout of this, Okay, I
mean it's five o'clock somewhere. I'mdrinking water. Boring. Continue. So
basically, what this is saying islike, if people were married when gay
marriage was legal, we gotta likerespect that. Oh it's like grandfathered in

(05:17):
or something. Yeah. Yeah,And this I thought was interesting. The
bill requires the same for interracial marriedcouples. Seriously, did we not fucking
addressed this a long time ago?Like America? What the fuck? How
is that still in the books?Yeah? Wow, befling, Like,
oh, that's right, and theinterracial couples too, fuck forgot about that.
Next, dogs and cats will belying together, Jesus. Okay.

(05:43):
The Respect for Marriage Act as aresponse to the Supreme Court's decision to overturn
Roe v. Wade this summer,which prompted Justice Clarence Thomas to write a
concurring opinion setting up the courts previousdecisions around same sex and interracial marriage.
What the fuck, Clarence? Actuallyhe lived in the neighborhood I used to
live in, and we got hisChristmas letter all the time. Was he
putting pubic hair in your coke?Well, we don't drink coke because we're

(06:06):
Mormon. Okay, So let's getinto why the Mormon Church and other religious
churches religious groups are cool with thissupport of Marriage Act right? Do it?
It's a fucking facade. So here'swhy. In addition to not enshrining
a federal same sex marriage right,it also codifies strong religious freedom rights for

(06:29):
faith based groups and organizations. Sothey're like, yeah, we'll respect marriage,
but yeah, we're gonna fucking beour religions and do whatever the fuck
we want, which means this billgives them significant leeway to discriminate against LGBTQ
people and same sex couples, almostas a trade off for state governments to

(06:51):
recognize currently legal married same sex couplesno matter how the Supreme Court rules in
the future. So basically dun thisdown for me, actually, because I'm
confused. The law says that stategovernments have to recognize currently legally married same
sex couples. So even if waydown the road the federal government's like,

(07:12):
we can't have same sex anymore,states recognize, yes, you were married
when it was legal, but yeah, but an exchange, it had to
give more leeway to religious groups sayingthat you can discriminate against LGBTQ people in
same sex couples, for example,not letting them in your church, not
marrying them, kicking them out ofyour church. What I'm saying is the

(07:35):
Mormon Church is only heralding themselves aslook, we're supporting the Gay Marriage Act.
Well, let's talk about what youhad to take. So it's like
a barter agree, a barter agreement, which means, okay, we'll leave
them alone, but also we havethe right to discriminate. Wow. So

(07:56):
reading on, despite its Tuesday's statement, the Mormon Church continues to hold a
hard line stance that same sex relationshipsare innately sinful. So in essence,
this basically says that states recognize samesex marriage, but on the federal level,
which trumps the state levels. Itgives the Mormon Church right to discriminate

(08:18):
against same sex couples by prohibiting thembeing married in the Mormon Church. They
are also allowed to tell them toleave the Mormon Church. They're also allowed
to if they want to go backand do the whole Okay, we won't
baptize children of gay couples, rightright, right, right right, unless
doesn't a child have to denounce theirgay parents or something. Yes, now

(08:41):
that rule was leaked, right,they were going to talk about that.
That was leaked and that's why thatblew up, and they're like, no,
no, it's not all we meant, which is a lie. So
the reason I bring this up isthat I again, I have current,
like two current Mormon friends who knowI'm gay, and they're like, oh
my gosh, you see the Mormonchurches now morning gear rights, and they're
so brainwashed to think that like theMormon Church is suddenly loving gays. Yeah

(09:05):
they're not. Yeah, So onceagain proving that the Mormon Church will say
whatever it needs to say to lookgood on the outside for their progressive members.
But if you dig deep, ifyou dig deep, it's all about
them being racist, bigoted assholes inthe name of Jesus Christ Seamon. Yeah,
and this barter thing, I'll giveyou this for this. I don't
know. It just seems so snakyand underhanded. I mean, we don't

(09:28):
talk politics here, but in politicsit's always i'll give you this for this.
I'll scratch your back, you scratchshine, you owe me a favor,
I'll pay you. It's all fuckedup. And then toe to see
this work in the way of beingable to discriminate against people really just chaps
my hide. I mean, that'swhat Jesus would do. Oh for sure,

(09:48):
remember Jesus, and he is like, listen, I will see I
love everyone as long as you kickout the horrors and the lepers. It
was just a random example of thatthing that in like Luke chapter three?
Is it? Speaking of Luke chapterthree? Our segment coming up with the
quiz pulls from biblical verses. Well, this should be a trait. Should

(10:11):
we get into it? You wantto just go for it? Yeah,
let's do it. We're calling thissegment a name that religion, So you're
gonna quiz me. Yeah, I'mgonna quiz you. This came from a
website called AlterNet. What that means, and the title is here are the
twenty weirdest religious beliefs. Oh fun, this twenty of the weirdest. I

(10:37):
mean, there's more more of God, most of them, So let me
just read the intro here. Wefind it easy to dismiss the fantastical beliefs
of people in other times and places, but those that we've been exposed to
since childhood seemed not so far out. Virgin birth water turning into wine,
a fig tree shriveling on the spotmust have been real cold dead people getting

(11:05):
up out of their graves and walkingaround. Hey, I saw walking dead.
That's exactly what that is. Deadpeople. Get okay. All of
the following beliefs are found in respectedreligions today. They have been long taught
by religions that either are considered partof the American mainstream or are homegrown,
made in the good old us ofA produced here and exported. Some of

(11:30):
these beliefs are ensconced it's a goodword, ensconced in sacred texts. Others
are simply traditional. All, atone time or another have had the sanction
of the highest church authorities, andmany still do. And all of them
are really fucked up. Yeah,of course and fake. Well yeah,
I'm starting to think, are youhow many of them can you match up

(11:52):
with a familiar religious tradition. Here'syour choices, y'all. Pay attention.
Evangelical or slash Bible believing Christianity okay, okay, Catholic Christianity. We might
have to go through these agin aswe move on. Judaism, Islam okay,
Scientology, Mormonism, Christian science,and Jehovah's witness. This ought to

(12:18):
be a good Are you right?You want me to show you the key?
Ye, it'll help me. Iwas gonna write them down bad since
you already did. Yeah, there'sa lot. Okay, you're ready.
Let's try this question one or statementone? The foreskin of a holy One?
When it inserts holy one, it'slike god allah whatever, right,

(12:39):
they're just more like a priest orsomething. No, it just puts that
in there too, because if yousaid priest, then your God doesn't have
foreskin. Oh my God, aholy one? All right, Jesus Christ.
Can I do this again? Mhow many times I have to say
foreskin? For seven years ago?Okay? The four skin of a holy

(13:01):
One may lie safeguarded in reliquary,reliquary? How the fuck reliquaries? R
E l I q u A rI E s M. That's an old
person word. No, I haveno idea. The new word for that
is things may lie safeguarded in thingsmade of gold and crystal and inlaid with

(13:22):
gems. Or it may have ascendedinto the heavens all by itself. Can
you imagine if you're an angel inheaven, he here comes these foreskins.
All right, Well, I'm narrowingthis down to two. I think it's
either Judaism or Islam. I don'tknow anything about Islam, but I'm gonna
go with Islam. It's two,which is Catholic. Yeah, that's Catholicism.

(13:45):
Any of you deeply rooted in Catholicism? Foreskinsure holy one? Foreskins for
the wind? Is it a wind? It would be a loss for the
guy who lost it? All right, I'm down by one? Are you
keeping schooler? Okay? Mary?Whatever? Zero. I'll just hold up
a finger when you actually get oneright. Number two. A race of

(14:07):
giants once roamed the earth, theresult of women and demigods interbreeding. And
this has a part two. OhAm, I supposed to guess already.
Yeah, go ahead, guess alreadyJudaism. So there's two religions that believe
this. Oh there's two. Yeah, I need you to tell me the
number and the religion. Three isJudaism. Okay, that's one guess and

(14:28):
uh sure eight Jehovah's Witness. Whynot? The answers are actually number one,
which is Evangelical yep, and numbersix, which is Mormonism. Go
Mormon. We'll wait a minute now. So I feel like any kind of
race of giants would have been mentionedin the Old Testament, which is Judaism.

(14:50):
I've read you what the what itsaid? Anywhere there's a part two?
Okay, they meaning the giants livedat the same time as fire breathing
dragons. Wow, that's fun stuff. I'm still guessing. I thought we
already gets it. Just puts nextto it number one. That's the Evangelicals.
Yeah, I don't remember the firebreathing dragons, but maybe they've been
watching a lot of like Game ofThrones or something. Could be, could

(15:11):
be, you know. I wouldalso say that anyone, any religion there
that believes the Old Testament to belike the true literal Word of God also
believes that. Yeah, could be. I can't remember about the giants from
the Old Testament, but anyway,I am scoring a big old goosec right
now, you're zero. Okay,Next up, number three, evil spirits

(15:33):
can take control of pigs. Ilove how they're putting this in like Layman's
terms to be you know how wewould say it. Well, okay,
that is in the Okay, soin the Old Testament. I don't remember
where this was. Somebody cast ademon out of a man, it went
into a bunch of pigs, andpeople believe that shit. Yeah, so
let's say how many how many answers? Is the one or two? This

(15:54):
one? Just one? He's gotto pick one. I mean, it
could be any of the Bible believeone, Catholic two. Nope, they've
put number one Evangelicals again, guessanything. I mean, I read it
in the Bible. To me,if it's in the Old Testament, it
should apply to Evangelicals, Catholics,possibly Mormons. And I don't even know

(16:18):
anything about Christian scientists, but Judy, there's them up here for Christian scientists
or whatever. I am sucking atthis. Yeah, she's a big zero.
Next a talking donkey scolded a prophet. Mormonism, I mean slightly true
because it's scripture roles. Number oneevangelicals again, it's it's anyone out there

(16:44):
who's evangelical, fucking sucker. AndI say that in the nicest possible way.
Um. Yes, Number one andthree, what's three? Well,
Bible believing Christianity. So again thiscomes from the Old Testament. Number three
is Judaism. Okay, well,you're still not guessing correctly. I think
the point of this is to realizehow much weird ass shit people believe and

(17:04):
how much Mary doesn't know about religion. That's okay, a dodge the bullet,
okay. Number five, a righteousman can control his wife's access to
eternal paradise. Number six Mormonism.Boom, got one, got one right,
hilarious. By the way, theystill believe that this isn't like an

(17:26):
old dumb right, I'm gonna leadyou through the veil hut flatter day saints.
Next up, brown skin is apunishment for disobeying God. Six Mormonism.
Yeah, bow, it's funny.I know more about Mormonism than on
any the other ones. I wonderwhy that is showing because I talk about

(17:51):
it have adcast you know more aboutmy religion than your own. It's so
true. Okay, Oh, here'sa good one. A prophet once traveled
between two cities on a miniature flyinghorse with the face of a woman and
the tale of a peacock. It'sfucking awesome. I want that religion.
I'm just telling you now. It'snot Mormonism, but I want that.

(18:12):
Can you repeat this like it matterslike you like your response is going to
change? Okay. A prophet oncetraveled between two cities on a miniature flying
horse with the face of a womanand the tale of a peacock. I'm
gonna just go as scientology number five. Nope, number four Islam interesting huhcause

(18:33):
you have some weird texts as well. Again, I don't know anything about
those two or Christians, well nowyou know, or Jehovah's Witness except for
like think we'll get to one ofthose. Celebrate your birthday at Christmas?
Much all I know. There wasJehovah's Witness named Elena in my elementary school,
and I remember because she was alwaysabsent. She's always absent. And
then I asked her, oh youmissed the blah blah, She's like,

(18:55):
Oh, we don't celebrate that.Mhmm. It sucks to be you.
Okay. Number eight, the HolyOne forbids a cat or dog receiving a
blood transfusion, and forbids blood mealbeing used as garden fertilizer. I'm gonna
say number three judaism. No.Number seven. Seven is Christian science.

(19:18):
I don't know science. It's funnyto me that there's science because of blood
trans sort of science. Yeah,doesn't Christian science. They don't only believe
in medicine. That's probably is.That's what it is. Anyway, I
don't know anything about it. Tobe honest, I'm the wrong person to
take this quiz. Yeah, you'reonly getting the Mormon answer at this point.

(19:38):
So read your garden fertilizer. Makesure there's no blood meal in it.
Okay, Okay, because that dum'sforbidden by the Holy One, and
do that later today. Cast upsacred underwear, Oh Jesus, it's the
fact that this is believed is likethe fact that I believed it. Honestly,

(20:02):
it's a dumbass. Okay. Sacredunderwear protects believers from spiritual contamination and,
according to some adherents, from fireand speeding bullets. Which one's that?
Mary? Six Mormons? Mormons gocrazy ass motherfuckers. I mean,

(20:22):
all this stuff sounds pretty waggy,huh. I think the Mormon one hits
me a little harder because I believethat shit. Yeah, I'm sure.
I mean all that stuff in theOld Testament, Like, seriously, the
evil spirit did go out of thedude and went into the pigs. Yeah,
how's that fair of the pigs?And why can't you just get rid
of the evil spirit in general?Yeah? But no, God was like,

(20:45):
well, at least pigs don't matter. Yeah, and the spirit's gotta
go somewhere. I mean, Iknow I'm God and all omnipotent, but
I gotta put them somewhere. Youknow, it's so weird because it's just
such a mixed message. So I'msaving this human who's more valuable than this
pig over here. I'm gonna makethe pig have the evil spirit and suffer.
But then Jesus is talking about evenbirds have nests or even like Laco

(21:07):
beautiful, the lilies of the fieldare you know, God cares about.
God notices every sparrow or whatever.So it's like the idea that God cares
for all things. But yeah,here's an example of God given them two
rats asses about the pigs, andfor no good reason, probably doesn't care
about the rats asses either. No, well, why didn't you give the
rats asses the spirits? I mean, pigs are very smart, right,
there's other choices God, as longas you're moving evil spirits around. I

(21:30):
mean, I'm kind of hungry fora ham sandwalt right now, just get
fever some spare ribs. Okay,moving on. When certain rites are performed
beforehand, bread turns into human fleshafter it is swallowed. I'm gonna say,
well, that's so many but Catholicismnumber two, Yes, okay,

(21:52):
I mean a lot of people whoare a work Catholic. Do you ever,
like, actually sit and think aboutthat? But only when it's swallowed?
I guess I didn't know that,But well, I guess I don't
want you chewing on Jesus. Youjust suck it down on a gulp.
There's so many things weight unless theyjust dissolve on your tongue. No,
you chew them, but it doesn'tactually turn into Jesus and tell what it's
in your I don't know if they'retalking about like your esophagus or your stomach

(22:15):
or an intestine. I don't know, a whip point. Yes, specifically
we should a digestive so you probablydo an ultrasound as you're swallowing. But
there it is. There's Jesus.Jesus is like face flush? Like what
kin? Where in the digestive tractis Jesus' foreskin? That's a fun game?

(22:41):
Or was that just Calamaria had?Sorry Jesus, if you are real
and this is offensive, I meanwe're kind of not sorry. You know
you're laughing. It's fucking hilarious.For real. What's the next? Sorry?
Invisible supernatural being reveal themselves in mundaneobjects like oozing paint or cooking food.

(23:04):
Number five scientology, No, seriously, come on, what who always
sees the virgin Mary in their toast? Oh? All right? Number two
catholicis yes, Oh my god,what is wrong with people? I know,
I don't know. This is phenomenalthough. The next one is too

(23:29):
easy, but we're gonna play itanyway. Isn't Mormonism side eye to Mary?
In the end times, the HolyOnes chosen people will gather together in
Missouri. That's right. Jackson County, Missouri, who said that whose religion
is that thinking? Is number six? Mormonism. Go Mormons, Go Mormons.

(23:49):
Jackson County, missouris the place tobe so stupid. Huh Okay.
The next one, believers can drinkpoison or get by snakes without being harmed.
It feels like evangelical number one hasnumber one. Yeah, yeah,
oh, I got an evangelical abouttime. It's you. It's the religion
of your childhood. Yeah, butwe were not into snakes and all that.

(24:11):
There's so many different nuances within theevangelical movement. True, I'm just
laughing at just the pure words here. Weren't you raised that? Well?
Yeah, but we weren't really intosnakes and all that. Right. Well,
but there's a great book. Ithink it's something called Miracle on Sand
Mountain, something about Sand Mountain.I feel like it takes place in Georgia
or somewhere where people handle snakes.It's probably still happens, but the yeah,

(24:34):
because they're trying to test God,like will I survive yet again?
So they get in this weird trancelike state praising Jesus or whatever, holding
these snakes, and then it's almostlike they're daring God, Like if God
so dumb, it is like ifGod should love people all think that they're
sinners, not because their hands arenubs, but they didn't die, see,

(24:55):
well not all of them. Theydidn't die. If you didn't die,
then you're righteous. So I'm goingto play the game with God that
like, if I eat five SnickersBars a day and live through it,
God loves me. I think you'lllive through it. You may. Let
mean, I am not a sinnerif I live through the Stickers bars.
It's a weird analogy. You're right, I want to bar if if I

(25:17):
had five Snickers Bars every day.So if you can have five and not
barf, then you're not a sinner. I think i'd rather have pop tarts.
Oh yeah, yeah. Now doyou count that as like the one
pack of pop tarts as part ofthe five or is it the one individual
because it's a two pack. Whenwas the last time you opened a two
pack and only eight one but notthe other one within like five whole packs?

(25:38):
Or is it the box you're touched? Okay, we're so sidetracked.
It's not a thing anyway. Let'smove on to another great one. Sprinkling
water on a newborn, if donecorrectly, can keep the baby from eons
of suffering should he or she dieprematurely. So growing up Methodist, they
did some sprinkling on the forehead.But I don't know. I'm gonna say
Catholic number two. Yep, fromthe one, the original guilt and shame.

(26:03):
Can you imagine like you give birthto a baby and then it dies
and the baby is basically in helltoo, Bet it didn't have a few
drops of water sprinkles on its head. Gosh that wow, it sucks to
be you baby in hell forever.We're a number sixteen. Here a Holy
One climbed a mountain and could seethe whole Earth from the mountain peak,
the whole Earth. Number four Islam. No, it's number one and number

(26:26):
two. Oh Evangelicals and Catholics.Yeah, it's like the Christian type belief.
Well, must be in the OldTestaments. Yeah, isn't it when
Jesus climbed the earth and he sawthe whole like you climb the earth,
he climb the whole mountain. Thismust be for the flat earthers. So
if you can sit on a mountainand sort of turn in three hundred sixty
degrees. You'd see all of it. Oh, I see the signs now

(26:49):
sees that that's not true. Yeah, thinking he didn't see the whole earth.
Well, we believe that. Mhm oh, I love this one
pudding. A dirty milk glass anda plate from roast beef sandwiches in the
same dishwasher can contaminate your soul.Number three judaism You got it. I'm
getting better. I'm getting better.Can you imagine? I mean, I

(27:11):
suck at doing dishes in the dishwasheranyway. They're all just like crammed on
top of each other. But canyou imagine if we had to sort through
the dishes according to what was eatenin them before we put them through the
dishwasher. Just don't drink milk.I'm not a big fan, but can
milk cheese? I don't know.Is that yogurt play the same thing?
Yeah? It comes from a Bibleverse that says do not boil a kid,

(27:33):
meaning goat, young goat, Andit's mother's milk. That's what that
stems from. But I don't knowanything about that, Like why that was
a thing, I don't I don'tknow. I don't sounds kind of gross.
Yeah, I'm not about it.I've never wanted to like use milk
as a base for like a soupstock. Do I mean there's that cream
soups. Maybe it's a goat creamkid goat cream soup. You know,

(27:56):
I say, I don't think youneed to say kid and got Well.
If I done kid soup, itjust kind of creeps me. It's true,
it's true. Okay, we havethree more left, but I need
to take a break to go eatsome cream of kids soup, cream of
a kid goats mouth Mama soup.So yeah, we'll be right back.
Okay, Okay, we're back.I just got back from climbing up to

(28:19):
the roof of my apartment building hereand I saw the entire world flat earther.
It's amazing, it's beautiful. Yeah, well, my foeskin just flew
up to heaven. I was wonderingwhat happened to that's gone down? Which
is or was that the calamaria Iate last night. The calamari is right
next to the Jesus flesh and themerry toast. There's some weird beliefs,

(28:44):
some weird ass beliefs. I thinka statue is crying somewhere. You made
it cry a statue. Yeah,you have never heard of that, when
statues of Mary cry weeping Mary statues, I've never heard that. You have
it. Sometimes they weep blood.Shut the fuck. No, this is
because all this is something Mary's statueswheat blood when you're a sinner, not
necessarily when you're a sinner. Justit's a miracle. I don't know,

(29:06):
because it's a miracle the statue bloodor wet God? Any who? Moving
on? Next one's easy. Ohyeah, there will be an afterlife in
which exactly one hundred and forty fourthousand people get to live eternally in paradise.
This is like the other thing thatI know about Jehovah's Witnesses number eight.

(29:26):
Yeah, man, what if you'renumber one hundred forty four thousand and
one, you're crew sorry, livein hell forever instead of being in paradise
and petting deer all day? Dear, Can I tell you about this.
Jehovah's witness came to my house forevergoing. They were passing out this pamphlet,
and it's like, where do wego when we die? Do you
have questions? Blah blah and it'sa picture of someone in heaven, like

(29:47):
a drawn picture on a national photograph, and they're just standing in this beautiful
field and they're petting a deer.I'm like, is that what the funk
We're gonna do all day? Likethat'd be fun for about three hours,
you know, petting a deer ispretty cool, But eventually the de there's
gonna be like, stop fucking touchingme. Dude, I've a dent in
myself, and then you end upwith lime disease. It's the whole thing.
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead andpass on being one of those one

(30:08):
hundred forty four thousand. I'll figuresomething else out, sure, all right.
Number nineteen, Each human being containsmany alien spirits that were trapped in
volcanoes by hydrogen bombs. Number fivescientology. Yeah, oh, I'm getting
a little bit better at this.I actually didn't know that one, and
now I really want to explore scientologybecause I mean, I don't believe that,

(30:29):
but that's a fucking awesome belief.I just low start, but I'm
rallying here near the end, doingbetter, doing better. Last one,
this is your chance a supernatural beingcares tremendously about what you do with your
penis. Uh wow, for Islam, Can I just say that it's all

(30:56):
of them except for number five?No, right, number five again scientology,
they don't give a shit, likedo what you want, fuck everyone,
And then then all the others arelike, I care about what you
do, like don't use your penis. That was a trick question, it
was. It was technically I gotit right because it was all of them,
that's true, except for one.And I didn't guess that one.

(31:18):
So I think I did probably likeforties sixty forty percent, right. I
don't know it means all right,you did all right? I mean it's
still an f but whatever. Ikind of want to rest this article because
it has some funny things to sayabout this. Okay. Each of these
beliefs is remarkable in its own way, but the composite goes beyond remarkable to
revealing. What it reveals is anunderlying belief that is something like this.

(31:41):
The process that produced this world andhuman life is best unveiled not by the
scientific method, but by the musingsof iron age herdsman or science fiction writers
or con artists. That's number six. Joseph smith huh, whose theories are
best judged by examining only assertions thatcannot be falsified. Underlying that belief is

(32:04):
sort of rational Swiss cheese. That'sgoing to keep cognitive scientists investigating and arguing
for decades. We humans are astoundinglysusceptible too handed down nonsense. Human children
are dependent on their parents for adecade or even two, which is why
nature made children credulous. When parentssay, eat your peas, they're good
for you, kids may argue aboutto eat your peas part, but they

(32:28):
don't usually question the factual assertion aboutnutrition. And when parents say, Noah,
put all of the animals into thearc, it's the rare child who
asks, why didn't the lion eatthe guinea pigs? Kids just fucking believe
this and all the animals really don't. I have to really suspend my disbelief.
Maybe they are miniaturized to be ableto shrunk, shrunk them down.

(32:52):
It was like, honey, Ishrunk the animals. Yeah. I don't
know how else you'd fit them onthat arc. I mean, I don't
know exactly how big a cubit is, but people have figured that out.
People have figured out how big Noah'sark would have been. Isn't there like
a reconstruction of the No's arc insome southern state. It's going to be
in a southern state, I don'tknow. But even then, you're like,
I don't know where everyone's sitting neara car hinge? Do you know

(33:15):
about car hinge where the cars arelike stonehenge? Yeah? Yeah, that's
an attraction, roadside attraction. Ilike it. Let me do one more
paragraph I skipped a few, justtalks about how stupid humans are. This
one says some of our ancestors weredoing the best they could to understand the
world around them, but had avery limited set of tools at their disposal.

(33:36):
Yeah. Sure, because, forinstance, if you're an early person
and there's a tornado or an earthquakeor a hurricane or what have you,
a drought, I mean you gotto blame it on something you don't understand.
You don't know about science yet,right, right, So you might
as well make it spiritual. Andif we had only done better, we
would have not had this only paidor tithing or did sacrifices, right,

(33:59):
I mean tithing was born out ofsacrifices, for sure. Well, we
won't kill any more animals in thetemple if you give us your money.
I would have given the money becauseI feel bad for the animal. I
mean, can we eat the animalafter it seems like a waste? No,
they just like kill them and burnham. Yeah, total waste. Is
that like poor one out for myhomie? I think so. But you
would also think that they could putthe evil spirits in those animals are about

(34:21):
to kill anyway, I don't knowwhat does that taste like? Does that
make them meat tough? They burnthem, you don't get to eat them.
God Mary. Anyway, After theytalk about that, early people had
very limited set of tools to understand, you know, just religious shit,
it would appear, he goes onthat others were simply making stuff up.

(34:44):
Mormonism and scientology appear to fall inthat camp. When it comes to religious
credulity, the difference matters surprisingly little. For example, Mormonism is more easily
debunked than most other religions, bothbecause of its recency and because it makes
so many historically or scientifically wild claims, and also is one of the fastest

(35:06):
growing religions in the world proportional toits membership. I mean This was back
in twenty nineteen, so it's sloweddown because people are reading the internet.
Wild claims matter less than whether areligion has certain viral characteristics. I mean,
is it really fast moving still incomparison to how big they are,
Like the Catholic Church is huge,right? Yeah, I say, right,
I see what you're saying. However, again, this is an older

(35:28):
article and the church growth has definitelyslowed down. Yeah. So I like
that it threw Mormonism in with scientologyfor sure. I mean, who hasn't
done that? God, I meanMormons, I guess, Yeah, we're
not a cult. You're a culture, were there, But we're not a
cult. We're the restored Truth Missourifor the why. So that's the end

(35:52):
of that end of the segment.You did not do well on that quiz.
I'm just gonna say that out hey, un till the end, un
till you got really warm up.Huh. I feel a lot of judgment
coming my way, Mormon. I'mgonna judge the fuck out of you all
your Mormon now was Okay, Imaintain the judgment. M that's the best
part of Mormonism to stick with you. So this whole thing makes me want

(36:14):
to go eat calamari. Now I'mgoing to go make some more toast and
look for the Virgin Mary. Okay, that sounds good. Maybe she's bleeding
somewhere she bro out of her eye. If my toast Virgin Mary is bleeding,
there's gonna be a problem. Unlessit was like grape jelly, which
I like on toast, well,that can be confusing. Maybe some cranberry
jelly would be the better color.Anyway, that was name that religion.

(36:40):
I'm supposed to say that with you. That's okay, all right? Sorry,
Okay, should we jump into alistener letter? Yeah, you're reading
this one. Oh, change listener'sname. Okay, we'll do. So.
This is a recent ish letter fromMelody. Melody rites Hi, Mary,
and Shelley. This letter is mostlyfor Shelley. So I'm a parado.

(37:02):
You're just a reader, and I'mgonna be okay, all right.
I was hoping for maybe a response, for some reassurance, rather than to
have this shared on the podcast whoop. See. Sorry, but if you
should choose to share it, that'sokay too. Well we're sharing. We're
sharing, that's what we chose.Yeah, I'm writing this really needing some

(37:22):
guidance and reassurance. Right now,I'm in the process of ending a ten
year marriage after realizing that I haven'tbeen happy for a very long time and
neither has my husband, and comingto the realization that I'm gay in parentheses,
still not entirely sure is being gaywith the exception of Chris Evans a

(37:44):
thing. Isn't Chris Evans an actorthat's hot? Oh? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, probably. Imean, there are some male actors
that I think are just fucking hot, and I would look at them a
lot. Chris helms Helmsworth. Isn'tthat his name? Is it Helmsworth Helmsworth?
There are a few male actors.Well, I'm like, damn,
he's hot. Doesn't mean I want. Most of the ones that are hot
to me are just pretty. IfI'm going to be honest, oh yeah,

(38:05):
we're like gay man. Can Isay that and not sound like I'm
stereotyping? Well, I don't thinkChris is a gay man, but I
think he's kind of hot. He'skind of pretty, you know what I'm
saying now, when he's like thorhe's really handsome in that almost pretty way.
Okay, in my opinion. Allright, anyway, whatever we're sidetrack,
what us okay? Melody writes,I have lots of questions for you,

(38:28):
which are below, But I'd liketo know that I'm going to be
okay on the other side of us, because I don't feel okay right now.
So I guess after potentially separation ora divorce, Melody wants to know,
am I going to be okay?You can be okay? Absolutely.
I'm not going to say you willbe because you might get hit by a

(38:49):
truck yesterday. I don't know yesterday. Well, yeah, maybe she already
got hit by a truck. Jesus. I'm just saying I can't promise anything.
However, my experience with divorce aftera long time in dealing with issues
of sexuality, I'm okay. Right, A lot of people are okay.
I would venture most people are okay. It's hard as shit change. Yeah,
it's super hard. I mean,I'm five years out at this point.

(39:13):
Well, when you were facing it, you had no idea how you
were gonna change your life that wouldbe okay, how it would be okay?
Well, how would your kids takeit? How are you going to
support yourself? Yeah? You hada ton of fears going into it,
tons of fears, tons of questions, no answers, just fear. Yeah,
but also my blinders on knowing regardlessof all these fears, I have

(39:37):
to do this. Like I can'teven see all this external ship at this
point. I know it's there.It's scary as fun, But I have
to leave this marriage scary shit.Yeah, but I guess the need for
change outweighed the fear. Ultimately itdid. I'd hit rock bottom for numerous
reasons. For sure, you hadlots of reasons. Okay, Melody says

(39:59):
some of my many questions when youwere going through your divorce, where there
are times that you questioned whether ornot you're making the right decision? No,
really, only because I knew Iwouldn't and couldn't go back to the
situation. It was over. Itwas done, absolutely not. That didn't
take away from me being scared shitlessabout what I needed to do. You

(40:22):
never had any doubts, though,No, because you know, as opposed
to I think a lot of peoplewho divorce. My ex husband and I
we were not best friends. Wellwait a minute, I'm going to call
a little bit of bullshit fuck becauseas I recall there was something really unpleasant
offensive said to you in front ofyour kids, and you didn't come home

(40:42):
for a couple of days. Butthat's not correct. I didn't come home
when he was home. No,No, I get it. Okay.
What I'm saying is you and yourmind were thinking of divorcing, but then
you were willing to go back tothe marriage. It was his idea to
divorce, yes, and in thattime I don't know if my brain had
comprehended that. To back up,it was his idea to separate, because

(41:05):
in Virginia you separate for a yearbefore you divorced, so there could have
been a time through that entire separationwhere we could have gotten back together.
Right. Once the separation was decidedupon, I knew that was it and
it needed to be it right,and it was not easy. You know,
this is the guy I've been withwith twenty one years. It wasn't
all bad times. I had knownhim longer than anyone else in my life.

(41:28):
Fix it for family, you know. I guess The point is it
doesn't have to be the decision thathits you and then you don't ever question
it, or you don't wait iton it. I'm just saying no,
I'm just saying I didn't question itbecause there wasn't. But I think it
would be natural to question it atfirst and maybe think through it a bunch
of times and look at it abunch of different ways, you know.

(41:50):
Absolutely. Unfortunately that can also bea very exhausting process, emotionally exhausting.
I think, to my X andI, we would get into a huge
argument since like that's done, we'reover, and then we would have some
good times and it was easier tonot be done and over, you know,
And so that's the natural process.I think. You know, they
say breaking up is hard to do, but Melody says, right now,

(42:15):
I don't feel like I made theright decision, and I feel like I'm
tearing my family apart and losing everything. I don't know if that's normal.
If you did question whether it wasthe right thing to do, how did
you distinguish between your actual feelings andbeing afraid of change. I think that
no matter what you choose, it'sgoing to be scary because change is scary.

(42:37):
Change is scary as shit. Andif you decide to stay in the
marriage, that's scary because you're nothappy like, either way is scary as
shit. I knew I wasn't goingto stay in the marriage. I also
knew that my kids were going tobe hurt. Well, it's like that
time you went into the bathroom andcried because you realized that you were going
to be stuck in a life thatwasn't working for you. Yeah, and

(43:00):
you were at that point, I'mgoing to stay. Yeah, you were
going to stay. How much beforethe actual separation was that? Do you
have any idea? Oh? God, it was I don't know, a
year. Maybe I'm just throwing thatout there because I'm not positive. Roughly
probably, yeah, maybe two.I don't even know. So you knew
it was in the works, butit took a while to get to the
point. I didn't know the divorcewas in the works. I knew that

(43:22):
I was staying with him, andI wasn't. You're misery about that,
and that was terrible. That wasa terrible realization that just defeated me,
sitting on the bathroom floor crying inthe middle of the night with nobody knowing.
Yeah, and I'm glad that Ididn't stay there. I mean,
I guess I could say I'm gladthe marriage got even worse due to both

(43:43):
of us, you know, justwhatever, and then it did get the
point where it was like rock bottomor separating because I again, I don't
know if I would have made thatstep to divorce because of the kids,
honestly, because of seven children andme having nowhere to go. Yeah,
I think a lot of women getstuck. For sure. You didn't have
any career prospects at that point yet. Yeah, I know, Melody says,

(44:07):
from everything you've shared on the podcast, it seems like you and your
ex have a really good relationship,and Melody would really like to get to
that place for her and her husband. How did your kids take it?
How did you tell them? Becausewe're getting to the point where we have
to tell our ten year old childand I'm terrified to hurt them. They're
a non binary child. So wehave talked about this, yeah, on

(44:30):
the podcast. I can't remember whatepisode it is, it's probably been a
while ago. Let me tell youthough, the first, Melody, this
will hurt your children. There's nogetting around it. It's gonna hurt your
Divorce is hard. Absolutely, itdoesn't mean it's not right. Divorce is
so tough on kids. Yeah,it just is. It's gonna hurt you,
it's gonna hurt your spouse, it'sgonna hurt your extended family. It's
sure gonna hurt your kids. Butguess what that doesn't mean it's the wrong

(44:52):
choice. Yeah. People heal,people move, People will look back and
understand. Oh yeah, I'm gladyou got divorce. That's the point my
kids are. They look back inthere like, I'm glad you and dad
divorced. They get it. Yeah, they do get it. They don't
understand how you all probably might makesense and sure, sure absolutely so.
Is it going to hurt people,but people experience pain, Yeah, they

(45:15):
move through their pain. They moveon. Yep. And there are good
lessons to be learned for your kidsgoing through divorce. You know, my
kids have learned. You don't haveto stick with a choice because you made
a choice. I don't agree withmarriages forever. If you get married and
it works, great, If youget married it quits working, get out

(45:37):
of it. You don't have tostick by something that you said forever ago
if it no longer works for you. Yeah. Speaking of religion, that
is a principle or an idea firmlyentrenched in religion, that idea that you
know, you make your vow andyou are now committed forever and in Mormonism
even into eternity. Yeah, justdoesn't always work out. Yeah, I

(46:00):
feel like you can also teach kidshow to be kind to an X well,
and sometimes it's a really good exampleto kids to maybe not stay in
something that could be abusive, forinstance. Yeah, I mean there's a
lot of reasons to not stay withsomeone too, right, it can just
be that you've grown apart, period, end of story. It's okay to
leave a marriage my opinion, simplybecause it doesn't work for you anymore.

(46:23):
Doesn't have to be abuse, doesn'thave to be someone cheating, It doesn't
have to be any of that stuffthat we hear about. And it can
just be, you know what,we've grown apart. It's just not working.
I want to pursue other things,and and so to you and the
best to you. We can remainfriends or just completely disconnect. Let's be
the best parents in the fucking worldfor these children. Yeah, you know

(46:45):
you mentioned the relationship with my X. It's not perfect. Sometimes it's not
easy. A lot of times it'sgreat, A lot of times. We
do a great job juggling the kidsand getting to them to all their shit.
You know, I wouldn't avoid divorceif all of your reasons for divorce
are there, but you're worried about, well, what if we don't get
along after we divorce. Yeah,you're already not getting along clearly, you

(47:06):
know. I mean, that's true, and there's growth in there for both
parties. Yeah. So it's goingto be scary no matter how you slice
it. But it's not the endof the world. No, And there
is support, Shelley, she hada whole huge support system. Yeah.
Yeah, you can always reach outto the Lattery Lesbian Podcast support group on
Facebook. Yep, if he walksto the discussion group Lattery Lesbian Podcast Discussion

(47:30):
Group on Facebook. Oh my god, that's always a mouthful for me name.
Yeah, but that's an option aswell. Okay. To wrap this
up, Melody says, I haveone million questions and don't really know anyone
who's been through divorce because I'm onlythirty one and surprisingly, despite the fact

(47:50):
that I got married at twenty one, I was never Mormon or any sort
of religion. But my ex wasin the military, which is its own
kind of cult. I guess itis, yes, very true. I
know you all are busy and getinundated with messages, So if you don't
get around to reading this, Iunderstand, But if you do and are
willing to talk to me, I'dreally appreciate it because I'm struggling right now.

(48:12):
Best Melody, Melodie. We're herefor you. Yeah, we're here
for you, and I hope youlistened to this episode. You should if
you're a listener, and if you'reon Facebook, oh gosh, I really
strongly recommend you get into that Facebookgroup Latter Day Lesbian Podcast Discussions and just
openly talk about it. It's safein there. People get it, people
are kind. We booted out thetrolls and it's like to but it's a

(48:37):
great, great place to get supportand advice and encouragement and just somewhere to
be honest. Well, Shelley gotthrough it, yeah, with tons of
support, and now her kids arefine, Yeah, flourishing. It's great.
Yeah, things are going very well, So it's possible to do.
We wish you the best, Melody. Thank you for writing in. Yes,

(49:00):
thank you everyone out. Send inthe ladders. Yeah, if you'd
like to write us a letter.I've got to figure out what's going on
with our website. So let's justgive our email address. Yeah, let's
do that. Contact at latter daylesbian dot org. It's dot org dot
o RG. Yes, yeah,send them there directly. It's easier.
Yeah. Right now, I don'tknow. Something's fucked up. Well,

(49:22):
I'll just blame it on Mary becausechime this this releases, I'm sure it
won't be fucked up, so Iwould hope so, because it will be
like two months from now this episodegets released. I'm kidding maybe a month.
We'll see. Yeah, we'll seehow it goes. Why don't we
take our last commercial break and getinto some patron names? Want to?
I like it? Be right back? All right? We are back with

(49:44):
exactly five patrons. Can weave it? I know, really weird. I'm
reading the names today for some reason. The first patron is, wait,
how are we going to do thesenames? Oh? Yeah, we talked
about it during the break, butwe didn't say it out loud. We
won't record the game. Microphones werenot Yeah, we're probably just gonna give
him some sort of wacky religious ideaticstory thing we can make up our own

(50:07):
beliefs. I mean, why noteveryone else ship? Why not us?
Okay, well, let's see howShelley does. The first one is Sarah
g g M. Well, goat, what about the goats? You don't
use the goat's breast milk to cookthe goats kids in? Okay, Sarah
goat? Sorry Sarah, go aheadand take that recipe out of you.

(50:30):
I really think you should have savedgoat for Billy. Who's coming up?
We've got three g names in arow. Oh God, okay, I
The next is b G. That'sfunny, b Stay in alive, Stay
in ELIVET, stay in ALIVET didI make Here's the rule? The Holy
One sings disco tunes when that personor whatever being puts their foreskin on angel

(50:57):
wings and it gets taken up toheaven. That one so BG's BIG's So
basically you have the same name,but it means something different. You welcome
Beg's. Well, the next oneis Billy Ge. Sorry, missed opportunity
for go fuck Billy g G.So I think Billy G is going to

(51:24):
be gathering in Jackson County, Missouri. There you go. I also want
to make sure that Billy understands.I mean, Billy Gathering should know this,
but ke she them, Uh,make sure you bring your foreskin.

(51:44):
If your foreskin was removed at birth, you could just borrow someone if you
never had foreskin again, borrow afur skin, You borrow a foreskin.
Ask sometimes you got a bribe.Huh. So Billy familiar with the foreskin
bribery. It doesn't matter. Youmake shit up and people believe it.
That's what we're doing here. Okay, Yeah, so Billy Gathering get a

(52:06):
foreskin and head to Jackson County,Missouri. Well didn't we read that verse
one time about how was it KingDavid that was supposed to bring back foreskins?
I don't think it was King David, but it was someone supposed to
bring back one hundred four skins.He trade them for the bride girl that's
worth a hundred four skins, andhe was like, I love her so
much, I'm bringing back two hundred. Still not a great gift. Still

(52:28):
not just saying, you know,Hallmark doesn't have a card for that ecage.
They should. We need to startriding Hallmark cards. Okay, so
I know you expected two hundred foreskinsthat I caught you this card. I
want to think it would take todraw two hundred foreskins. Oh this is
perfect. You know how sometimes cardshave like a little thing taped on the
inside. Oh it pops up.Well, it could be like the just

(52:50):
you know, the top of theballoon, like the part you blow into.
You just cut that off and itkind of looks like a foreskin.
And I'm talking, yeah you wantjust leave that there? You could tape
it on the inside of the card. But we need two hundred. Well,
oh, I only got you thisidea. You know those cards where
you open them and they pop openand all this confetti goes overwhere everywhere?
Skins, two hundred of them?How much does that to mail these hydrated

(53:13):
foreskins? We need to be Yeah, we need to be less stinky.
Could we move on? Oh god, so billy gathering, Yeah and thinking
about foreskins? Thank you, slash, We're sorry? All right? Is
w w Oh? I got it? Is wine? Like that is wine?
And it was water wine water intowine? Oh yeah, okay,

(53:37):
is water into wine? I likeit. That's a good name. You
should get that. I think thatis should get that actually changed on their
ID. Please do you go?Good? Suggestion. Thank you know what
to do is yep, let usknow. We'll send you a coffee mug.
Last patron for this week Rebecca B. B. You have a note

(53:57):
here that Rebecca b is from Australia. Yeah, Rebecca Bee's an Aussie,
so we should probably incorporate some kindof Australian word like barbie another shrimp on
the bobby. All right, Igot this, so Shelley, Shelley's accent.
This is about to be a longstory into your new last name.
That's not terrible, you know,you know, Rebecca's like, shut the

(54:20):
fuck up, sorry, Rebecca WaltzingMatilda, Waltzing Matilda. Sorry, we'll
get it. Sorry right now.Recca's like, you stupid as did you
bring the gear? It's like everythingwe know is from what was that present?
Sure went went that crocodile hunters?You know, it's a what if

(54:45):
they say instead of getting sucked up, they always said something that's getting It
wasn't screwed up, it was somethingelse. I'm sure rebeccasca what I don't
know, what the hell something?Anyway, Rebecca's new last name is supposed
to be a bee, right,be barbecue and you know why put another
shrimp on the bobby? But howdoes it say? How say you want

(55:06):
me to do an accent? Yes? Do you always do the accent?
I'm not good on the in theAmerican accent. Put another shrimp on the
barbie. But it's not a shrimp. It's put another pig on the barbie.
Oh, the pig has the devilhas the devil. Also it's a
demon. It's a demon spirit thatwas cast out from the human beings by
God. Barbecue demon pork demon yamsauce, diablo sauce ding ding ding ding

(55:36):
ding. That's all there you go, Rebecca Barbecue, that's your name,
and put another This is really weird. Okay, we got um. Yeah,
thanks to all the patrons we have. Thank you for real. We
have one super cast member today.Kayla Oh all right, Kayla oh,
because giants have already been taken,We're gonna go with Kayla Ogres. So

(56:00):
Ogres came about when did you usegiants earlier? And her name doesn't start
with ge anyway. Oh, Goddamnit, Mary, I'm talking about in
the episode we were talking about,there's the giants that Yeah, we're on
the earth because women slept with demigods. Right, giants have been taken.
Oh, Ogres, we have tocome up with a new thing to teach

(56:21):
our children to fuck them up.So Ogres. Yeah, we're brought about
by virgin women sleeping with aliens.Oh, we're gonna mix in a little
scientology to this. Yeah, okay, okay, and finding Mary. Oh
sure, bring her into it inMissouri and Missouri in the side of a

(56:44):
tree trunk underneath a tree in Pelmira, New York, next to the Golden
plates. But people will believe thatit huh. So Kayla has to have
a last name Ogre. Sorry,Kayla. Yeah, you know what's funny
and fucked up about all this iseverything we've said sounds so wonky and crazy.

(57:05):
Is it any crazier? Though?It's not. That's what I'm saying.
It's not any crazier. It's reallynot Jesus and we believed it did.
Yeah, we believed it. I'mgonna go eat some some Jesus flesh
now and walk and see word endsup. See when it becomes Jesus.
I'm gonna go eat at Jesus cracker. You need to eat it and have
like an ultrasound or something. Yeah, That's that's what I'm doing this afternoon.

(57:27):
Okay, join us live for Shelley'swaggy ultrasound eating going in there even
better if it was like like aCatholic hospital and be like, so,
here's what's up. I want tosee. At what point does it become
Jesus and my system? Huh?Does insurance cover those kind of ultrasounds?
Huh? That's right up there withthat doctor that makes house calls in Vegas,

(57:50):
Like when you're hungover, you canjust get an IVY. I know
that would be real handy sometimes.Well, thank you everyone for your support.
We could not do this podcast withoutyou. We really couldn't. We
really couldn't. If you would liketo show us some support once the website
is fixed, hopefully by the timethis episode is a latter b I know,

(58:10):
please visit Latter Day Lesbian dot orgslash support and throw us a little
love. We appreciate that, andwe appreciate Dan from Extension Audio thanks for
leaving Eden. Dan, thanks toyou and everyone listening, and remember steer
clear of cults because they are nojoke, no joke at all. Talked
everybody later. Bye,