Scooby Doodie and the Curious Case of Oyster Moisture

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, you know it's time to get it started.
Let me introduce you all toShane Hargis.
Okc.
Yeah, we got to rep that.
Sit back, I know that you'regoing to have a good laugh,
bringing you the comedy that youreally need.
Keep it entertaining, youbetter believe.
So let's get it popping.
No more talk Going to make uslaugh until we fart.
Ok, shane Hargis, that's who wewant.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Going to make us laugh until we fart.
Shane August, that's who wewant.
Gonna make us laugh until wefart.
Shane August, that's who wewant.
Oh, welcome back for a specialHalloween spooktacular episode.
With me tonight is yoursluttiest born-again virgin

(00:53):
co-host, taylor Lee.
Hello and off-camera.
Right there we have the former,most okayest co-host ever casey
sue, that's my name, and withus tonight.

Speaker 6 (01:16):
Tippy joins us again brought you back that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
That's right, doubt it I do have a great video to
show, uh, to get everybody readyfor trick or treating coming up
all right, that was so.
Ok, oklahoma, turn the tricks,here we go, let's watch.

(01:49):
Watch it with us.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
Aw little Wednesday, Aw little Wednesday.
Why is there so much screamingalready?

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Oh, you didn't grab the candy.
I'm scared, I'm scared Girls,grab your candy.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Grab your candy.
That's great.
She was fucking scared.

Speaker 5 (02:22):
I love trick-or-treating.

Speaker 8 (02:23):
I love being scared.

Speaker 5 (02:25):
Have you been to a haunted house yet this year?
No More.

Speaker 8 (02:28):
The next Saturday we're going to a haunted car
wash in Mustang.
I asked the kids if they wantto go and they were like, yeah,
that's fun, so we're going to goto a haunted car wash.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
And Tommy's oh my.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
God.

Speaker 8 (02:36):
Plug.

Speaker 6 (02:38):
Spons.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Wow, and they wanted to go.

Speaker 8 (02:42):
Yeah, both of them were like yeah, I want to go.
Ooh, okay, I don't know howinvolved or how gory, but I mean
, it's car wash, if we getripped out and murdered, or wet.
It's car wash Did you say wet,it's car wash.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Getting wet around your kids.
It's weird, but what do you do?

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Well, this should be fun.
What do you do?

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, I wanted to see put on your seat belt.
Kids watch mommy if um get wetif any viewers are out there and
you're going to have like uhwell, first of all, let me, let
me address something real quick.
I know it's the, the Halloweenepisode, and you're like you

(03:28):
lame fucks aren't even inHalloween costumes.
The plan is, each one of uswe're going to do a Halloween
costume contest and during theshow, one of us will leave, get
into their Halloween costume,prance, all in Prance, and then

(03:50):
we'll see how good theirHalloween costume is.

Speaker 8 (03:54):
Who's judging it?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
The viewers, the listeners.
We're not going to know.
Yeah, we're not going to know.
Our fans down in thePhilippines are going to write
in and go here you go Mine'spretty fucking cool.
We'll post something onInstagram and we'll do a poll.

Speaker 6 (04:14):
Mine shows my titties , your titties.
Vote for me.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Was that for Taylor's titties, mine's a poll.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
Oh, you're a couple's costume.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
So that's why we're not in costume yet.
Here after we get going, you'llsee some costumes.
Okay, coxtumes, coxtumes.
You'll see some costumes.
Now, if any of you uh, have ahalloween party you're planning,
I have the perfect song for youguys to play at your party to

(04:54):
get things crunk is that a wordstill?

Speaker 3 (04:58):
do, they do.

Speaker 8 (04:58):
The kids still say crunk, or yeah, uh, oh.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's bussin this party's bussin.
This is how you get your partybussin Right here.
I don't think they say that.
I think they do this is ubering.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yes.
Missy Elliott, missy Elliott.

Speaker 11 (05:43):
The background looks like he's laying on his mom's
belly or some shit.

Speaker 10 (05:50):
No, it's the bathroom.
It could almost be hangingupside down.
Get it, get it, get it.

Speaker 5 (06:22):
That is not the worst karaoke we've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
That was pretty good.

Speaker 9 (06:28):
That was good.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
He was on key.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
He just never made a different facial.
That is how you get the partycrump.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
That is how barbershop does pop.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Oh, oh God.
I don't know if that's a good.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
It's something to judge.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Alright.
Well, what about this?

Speaker 13 (06:52):
So I'm still fighting off this HIV, hiv,
jockage, jockage Are you gettingin all the creases.
And the antifungal spray andthe antifungal cream and the
ringworm cream, and I've beendoing this for I don't know two

(07:17):
months.
I probably just ramped up theshowers the past couple days,
but I've been doing at leastthree showers a day for the past
two months.

Speaker 7 (07:26):
And the jockhead.
Okay, you know what, you'refired okay.
You didn't follow Proto.

Speaker 5 (07:42):
It's the backlog.
Why are you?
Telling us.
Why is it on your face?
I don't know why.
Why would you hiv, sir?
You got the hiv.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
You got scabies on your balls.
Sorry, wow, why, I don't knowwhy.
Why scabies on his?
Why would you put this on yourtiktok, like he's gotta be doing
a a bit right?

Speaker 5 (08:03):
I don't think.
Look at his face.
He has ringworm on his fuckingface.

Speaker 11 (08:08):
This is his Tinder profile.

Speaker 8 (08:11):
Is he trying to get dates?
But he's trying to explain whyhe looks like that.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
Can somebody help me?
Is he trying to raise awareness?

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Alcohol swabs, and he has more videos talking about
his undercarriage issues.

Speaker 11 (08:31):
What he needs to do is teabag, a bottle of bleach or
something.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Leave it at.

Speaker 8 (08:37):
How about you just go to the goddamn doctor?
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I think he did, and they said here's a cream, here's
a body wash.
He's just gross.

Speaker 5 (08:49):
Well, you know what his face tells me?
He washes his face after hewashes his nuts.
That's what he does Look at hisface.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
He goes nuts butthole then.

Speaker 11 (09:00):
He goes nuts butts mouth, not butt mouth.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
This is the guy that showers, then shits.
Let me shave on the shitterhe's all backwards Shits on the
shaver.

Speaker 5 (09:11):
Shits on the shaver.

Speaker 9 (09:15):
Oh yeah, he shaves his ass hair, then his face.

Speaker 8 (09:18):
Yeah, what do you think?
His balls smell like.

Speaker 11 (09:21):
Oh God, His chin.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
His balls smell like his chin.

Speaker 9 (09:32):
I'm gonna say like blue cheese.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
That's gross.
Is he gonna continue to talkabout his Ringworms?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
I can't do it.
It's about to make me sick.
That is so gross.

Speaker 5 (09:47):
What's your favorite Halloween activity?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Parties Parties I like looking at all these cool
Halloween costumes that I can'tafford, oh yeah, and never buy.

Speaker 8 (10:01):
I always think, too, I'm going to do something
fucking cool this year.
And then I'm like You're a batBanana.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Banana, I bought a shirt that says this is my
Halloween costume.
No, I would never let you dothat you know nowadays, since I
am older, I like Was that youDid it drop Can you do that
again.

Speaker 6 (10:27):
I can't hold on.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
You're like Jaina.

Speaker 5 (10:35):
That sounds cool.
That sounds like a Disney movie, I know.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
But you're a new bell .

Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's what it sounds like when I get a boner.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
It makes noise.

Speaker 5 (10:46):
It's true, it's true.
I do like handing out candy forall the Timmy knows.

Speaker 11 (10:52):
My favorite activity is I was just guessing.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Yeah, my favorite activity now is being here when
all the kids in the neighborhoodcome around.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
Oh, my God you're an old man.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
He is.
I do.
I like that.
It's fun and.
I see all the little cutelittle kids with all their
costumes.

Speaker 5 (11:08):
We need pretty good candy.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Now what I do is, if it's a really good costume, I
get a big hand for it.

Speaker 8 (11:15):
I get dots.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
I love dots If you haven't been too creative with
your costume.

Speaker 8 (11:21):
People are poor man, Give us a break.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, you have a whole year to save up for your kids'
Halloween Dots.

Speaker 4 (11:30):
Yeah, fucking kids, fucking kids.

Speaker 5 (11:33):
What's your favorite Halloween activity, Timmy?

Speaker 11 (11:35):
Eating Reese's.

Speaker 5 (11:37):
So getting the dad tax.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
That's it, yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (11:40):
Got it.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Dad tax on the candy.

Speaker 11 (11:43):
My favorite thing about Halloween is the diabetes.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
Diabetes.

Speaker 11 (11:47):
I just have all this spooky stuff everywhere Scary.

Speaker 8 (11:52):
Scary things.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
Everywhere you go is spooky, spooky.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Spooky.
Will you stop doing it in themic?
It's freaking me out.

Speaker 8 (12:03):
It's like we go to a dimension or something I know.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Alright, I gotta get this guy off the screen here
Scabies face.
Yeah, what has?
Been your favorite Halloweencostume that you ever wore, like
as a kid.

Speaker 5 (12:27):
As a kid yeah, peter Pan.
My dad made me a Peter Pancostume.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
You were a boy.

Speaker 5 (12:36):
I had like a super short, like Peter.

Speaker 8 (12:38):
Pan, a boy or non-binary, I think.
Who was the first non-binary?

Speaker 5 (12:42):
Well, in the musical it was played by a girl no.
In the musical it was played bya girl.
No, in the musical it wasplayed by a girl.
Yeah, and after I saw thatmovie I was like I want that
haircut See non-binary and so Idid.
Non-binary, and I was Peter Pan.
It was really fucking cool.
He was the first.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
So Peter Pan was your favorite Halloween costume.

Speaker 5 (13:01):
As a kid your favorite?

Speaker 8 (13:10):
how about my?

Speaker 2 (13:10):
favorite kid costume.
Anyway, kid yeah devil.
It's only when I remember satan.

Speaker 5 (13:12):
It's only when you remember.
Yeah, I saw a picture of you asa cat but the cat by devil
tippy's been, tippy's beenthinking for a while I remember

Speaker 11 (13:28):
my mom made me a costume, a dracula costume.
I wore it for like two or threeyears.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
I liked it a lot mine was this.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
It was kind of a devilish mask.
There used to be that coolHalloween store on like.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
MG Novelty.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yes, that's it.
Mg Novelty and they used tohave like a hundred or so like
different badass rubber.
Like real looking yeah Masksand we would go there and get
them and I found this one crazyass devil-like mask that I would
wear and, uh, I would just wearlike maybe a flannel and some

(14:13):
jeans, but we would decorate ourgrandma's house and all I would
do.
I wouldn't go trick-or-treatinganymore, I would scare the kids
that came up to the house.

Speaker 8 (14:24):
Yeah, a dad or somebody maybe.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, and my buddy Brent had a weird-ass masked
goofy like frumpy-looking dudeand he would just lean up inside
this casket, this box, and justnot move the entire time.
And I would come running off mygrandma's roof at all these

(14:48):
kids and they would just freakout.

Speaker 8 (14:51):
We would hear them screaming blocks away.
We would be blocks awaytrick-or-treating because we
were little and we would hearkids like ah.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I scared some kids so bad they started crying and the
dad is laughing his ass off.
It was like that was the bestthing.

Speaker 8 (15:07):
I've ever saw.
Do you remember the kids thatjumped in the back of the car
and they were like go, go, go.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
That one was.
I could hear, I could hear thisyoung guy with his girlfriend
and he was talking all toughbecause we had all the music it
was like oh this isn't scary,we'll just go right up there.
And I happened to be in mygrandma's tree.

(15:33):
I was in the tree so I waswatching them walk under me and
as they got close I had the limbtucked right behind my knees
and I just flopped down likethis.
He freaked out, he ran, ditchedhis girlfriend like see ya
bitch.

(15:53):
She jumped on the back of hismom's car and was like COME ON,
GO.

Speaker 8 (16:02):
And we were like a few hours down watching because
we were just watching the kidsgo up and get scared.
It was so fun, but that mask.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
That was it.
It was great.
And then there was this groupof black girls that came up.

Speaker 5 (16:15):
Why'd they got to be black?

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Well, they were, because it was hilarious.
They were standing at the curband there was probably six of
them and they were like no, yougo up there, you go up there so
they were just standing therewatching people get scared and
finally I, just, I just had towalk out and be like come on,

(16:38):
get up here, come get some candy, whatever and then Brent came
out of the here's your dot.

Speaker 5 (16:44):
Here's your fucking dots.
Take your dots.
We're inclusive.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
It was fun, so that was my favorite.
We took out all the white dots.

Speaker 5 (16:52):
What about adult costume Like?
Since, being an adult, what wasyour favorite costume that you
wore?

Speaker 2 (16:59):
I always liked kind of scary type stuff.
My favorite one time was I gotlike some kind of cloak type
stuff.
My favorite one time was I gotsome kind of cloak or something
and it was one of the Halloweenparties we had out at Mom and
Dad's house and I just took redor white face paint, I can't
remember and I just did this andit was pretty creepy.

(17:24):
I like that one.

Speaker 12 (17:27):
Do you remember what , dave?

Speaker 5 (17:31):
did with the black guy, black face.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
I don't know if I remember that.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
I don't think so, not anyone on the podcast,
everybody, not anybody in thisroom.

Speaker 8 (17:42):
He had a fro on and he had a basketball jersey and
he had a basketball jersey andhe painted himself his arms all
black and he kept getting blackpaint all over mom and dad's
house he totally black facedholy shit, he black bodied wow
that's terrible.
Those before people were racist, I think are you?

Speaker 2 (18:04):
what's yours?
That's terrible.
It was before you were.
People were racist, I think.
Are you is yours?
Uh, what's yours?

Speaker 5 (18:09):
my favorite adult one that I did well in my slutty
days.
I did a really good sexyrainbow bright that I'm real
proud of.
I couldn't remember her name.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
I wanted to say star bright, but I knew that rainbow
bright man, rainbow Bright man,it was good.

Speaker 5 (18:23):
And Strawberry Shortcake Courtney was Sleddy
Strawberry Shortcake and Iyelled at cops that I thought
were people in costume.
I did, I thought, they wereYou're not a real cop.
I thought they were no, forreal.
I thought they were people incostume and I was super wasted.
I smell bacon and this guy and,and he was young.

(18:45):
So I was like oh, he's justanother guy at this party and he
walks in and he's likeeverybody's coming living and I
was like you're not around andthen shot her boyfriend bitch,
I'm real I didn't have aboyfriend, I was single and,
like I said in my slut era, butI did like our I did like our.

(19:11):
I did in fact, uh, I did likeour, uh, okay, jedi costume
fried out, fried out, man, I dolike our my jedi costume was
pretty legit at taylor's lasthalloween party.
I liked that costume.

Speaker 11 (19:25):
It was fun, we were Jedi Knights.
I don't have any adult costumes.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
Like even in college.
No, like you didn't dress up incollege, or anything, he just
went nude.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
What a fuddy-duddy, he went nude.
He went nude though.

Speaker 8 (19:36):
Mine was probably when I was the girl from the
Ring.
That was a brown wig and I hadall the hair in front of me.
And when people would drive onthe driveway, I'd be like Didn't
you.
I think you freaked out.
My friends, maybe I remembercalling my old boss Timmery at
the vet clinic.
And I was like seven days andthen she showed up and they were

(19:59):
driving down Because she wasalways scared of everything.
She was like what the fuck?
She still talks about that.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
You were so scary.
Are you just not a Halloweenperson, tibby?

Speaker 11 (20:11):
No not much Get out, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (20:15):
It's a holiday.

Speaker 11 (20:17):
Every day is a celebration for me, guys.

Speaker 6 (20:20):
Every day.

Speaker 11 (20:21):
Every day I wake up shining.
I wake up shining.
I wake up shining, shiningbright like an apple.
The world is my oyster.
I hate oysters.
What's?

Speaker 5 (20:31):
an oyster.
Yeah, what's an oyster?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oyster.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
Is it similar to an oyster?

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oyster.
Is that an Oklahoma oyster?
Oyster, oyster, oyster, oyster,oyster.

Speaker 5 (20:42):
Oyster, oyster, moisture.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
I don't like the way that smells.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
That's some oyster oyster that should be the name
of, like some.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
That's what it smells like when you're in those ski
bibs for too long.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
Oyster moisture, that's for sure.
That's the funk like in what'shappening.

Speaker 9 (21:16):
We took the exterior Hello there.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
We took your studio to the crew hostage.
They are in the other roomgetting their asses probed right
now.
Oh yeah.
With all the space lube, all ofit.
Oh yeah, with all the spacelube, all of it, el Cropitan

(21:59):
loves the space lube he loves it?
What do we do on this show?
What are we going to do now?
Cut shit, cut shit On humans.
You humans are fucking weird.
Yeah, yeah, let me show you,mmm.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
This is our real cat Human girls like this.

Speaker 17 (22:26):
She never wanted to be white, picky, fenced in
Hearts, like a feather in hertoes.
The wind, seaside breeze, abrain hurt.

Speaker 4 (22:35):
I'm laughing next to me, cause I ain't trying to tame
the love, I keep the windowsdown and the wind in her hair

(22:55):
keep her heart hanging allaround every turn.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
Okay, I think that's a.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
I think that's a specimen of human mind, human
human.
I hate to be a party pooper.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
You poop, party Kill him Hines, kill him, hey, kill
him.
Um, I hate to be a party pooper.
You poop parties.
I am sweating like crazy.
Ew, in this human skin.
Yeah, I'm going to go changefrom this human skin.
Why?
So you guys keep the show going.
I'll be right back.
I also want to check on ElCroquetan.

(23:32):
So you guys keep the show going, I'll be right back.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
I also want to check on El Crococan.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
You gonna go probe him.
I think he likes it in his butt.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
I want to go get in his ass, you gonna get all up in
his ass.
Careful, he fights.

Speaker 14 (23:51):
Us aliens don't fart .
I'm not sure if he wipes.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
He doesn't.
I don't think.

Speaker 16 (24:00):
We don't have to expel gas.
Good thing we don't have weirdanus holes.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
Yeah, I wonder what that feels like.
Ew, they push solids out of ourbody parts.
I wonder what it's like To poopno animal To get something in
the poop.

(24:25):
Oh, in and out it's like abreeze around the galaxy.
Do you feel better?
Now Is now a meteor shower.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
I feel much better.
How about?

Speaker 4 (24:50):
you Hi.
What happened to me?
Meteor shower.
I feel much better, hello Hi.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
What happened to Piko Piko.
Piko Piko was hot and sweaty.
Oh, so he said fuck that.
And he sent me in.
He said this is much better.
Yeah, this is this.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I can't do it.

(25:19):
Oh my God, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I think this is personal.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
It was me all along.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
It was me all along.
It was me all along, it was usall along, I know.
I know, I know we got you guysgood you really thought the
aliens were here.
You really did.
You hope they're gettingpranked.

Speaker 6 (25:48):
That's pretty hot.
That was really hot in there,oh my God.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
Oh, my God, oh my god , that's so funny.

Speaker 5 (25:57):
Well, that was a fun four minutes, four minutes.

Speaker 8 (26:01):
Just like every day.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
I couldn't tough through that bit.

Speaker 11 (26:06):
I couldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
But these are fucking sweet.

Speaker 9 (26:10):
Those are sweet.

Speaker 11 (26:11):
The suspenders are pretty rad those look awesome,
my eyes were fogging up.

Speaker 5 (26:17):
I was like how do?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
I breathe.
I put this on, started walkingback, couldn't see where the
fuck I was going.
I almost tripped over you rightthere.
I lost a shoe somewhere oh mygod, I got it, though I found it
Damn, we tried.
I lost a shoe somewhere.
Oh my God, I got it, though Ifound it Damn, we tried.

Speaker 5 (26:36):
Hey, Shane, how long have you had this plan in the
works?

Speaker 2 (26:39):
I've had this for like a month.

Speaker 5 (26:41):
Yeah, how disappointed do you feel right
now?

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Oh, that was great, actually, I think it turned out
really good.

Speaker 5 (26:46):
Good, I'm glad it turned out pretty funny.
We'll see.
It's stuck in my hair, can I?

Speaker 8 (26:52):
borrow this for work.
We have a work party.
Absolutely, yeah, that's yours.
Do you want to like?
No one wants to put their facein it.
Why is there a hole in the chinso you can say I was sucking
little wieners little I don'tknow, don't talk about friend
boys wiener like that

Speaker 11 (27:03):
that's a little, I don't know maybe it goes in
flaccid that's not.
It's at least seven inchesright right?

Speaker 6 (27:11):
Is that seven inches?
It's like one and a half.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
But no, it could still be seven.
It's just real skinny, skinnyand long.

Speaker 9 (27:19):
And thick too, Skinny and long.

Speaker 8 (27:21):
I'm talking girth, y'all.
Huh, I'm talking girth.

Speaker 5 (27:24):
You're a girth queen Girth queen Girth, that's not
even me.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Girth Queen.

Speaker 8 (27:28):
Girth.

Speaker 5 (27:29):
That's not even me.

Speaker 8 (27:29):
I don't know Girth.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Queen Sounds moist Babe can you give me another?

Speaker 11 (27:34):
For an oyster.

Speaker 5 (27:35):
Can't go wrong these right here, moisture oysters.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
With the girth, if you haven't been to the 405
Brewery in Norman Oklahoma.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm sure they're going to lovethat.
I said that so they probablywon't sponsor us.
Now I think they would.
Uh, it's a great little breweryhere in norman.
They got this, uh, root beerseltzer.
That is quite delicious.

Speaker 8 (27:59):
quite dangerous, dangerous, dangerous I got the
old topo chico oh, wow, and themeat man.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
These are just blowing up, though go follow the
meat man facebook the meat manfilm on the facebooks.
Do it, fuckhead the meat manman.
These are just blowing up,though.
Go follow the meat man Facebook.
The meat man film on the.

Speaker 8 (28:19):
Facebooks, Do it fuckhead the meat man film, the
meat man dash film on Facebook.
Look it up, fill up, look at me, love it, love it, love it.
Did you just fill up the meat?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Meat all up in you.

Speaker 8 (28:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
You know you want that meat up.
All in you, all in you.

Speaker 11 (28:30):
All in your ass, up in you.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Okay, guys.
Yeah, I'm sweaty, Good stuff,sweaty Betty.

Speaker 8 (28:38):
Let's talk more Halloween stuff.
Do you not go to saunas?
Ew, saunas.
God no, it's good for you oh.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I like a sauna.

Speaker 8 (28:45):
Get the toxin out.

Speaker 5 (28:47):
I step outside and I sweat.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
I'm good I gotta get the poison out.
Is that what it is?
Is that what it's like?

Speaker 8 (28:53):
I like the demons out .
I like them.
I'll mow the yard.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
I'll keep them.
Do you have a spooky Halloweenstory?

Speaker 5 (29:03):
Not from Halloween I mean a spooky ghost story.
It's not Halloween.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Story.
It's paranormal.

Speaker 5 (29:11):
Yeah.
I mean so is that you just wanta spooky story or does it have
to take place during?
Halloween.
I don't know, you're spookyjust spooky I'm.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
I like had some stuff when we were aliens, but uh,
that didn't pan out like Iplanned um, so um improvise you
just mentioned.
You want to keep talkinghalloween no, I was just
clarifying.

Speaker 5 (29:33):
I have spooky stories .
How much?

Speaker 2 (29:35):
I know that.

Speaker 5 (29:36):
Do you want it to be a story that happened on
Halloween?

Speaker 2 (29:39):
It's gotta be Halloween.

Speaker 8 (29:41):
Okay, but how much money have you spent on
Halloween decor this year, thisyear, just this year?

Speaker 5 (29:47):
Not a ton.
I added a little bit.
We haven't put it up yet, butI've added just a little bit.
We haven't put it up yet, butI've added just a little bit.
It's Halloween.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, it's yard decor so it'll go outside but.

Speaker 11 (29:56):
I got some.

Speaker 5 (29:56):
It'll be this weekend I got some tombstones,
tombstones, scary Uh-huh andsome spooky spider webby kind of
stuff, but not like the cottonpolyfill spider web stuff.
That's very bad.
Don't do that.
That's bad for the birds.
Oh, I have that.

Speaker 3 (30:16):
They kill spiders, what a damn bird.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
Feed them rice.
What do they do Fly into?

Speaker 5 (30:20):
it.

Speaker 8 (30:22):
They don't do shit with it, they get stuck.
They're dumb anyway.
They also fly into windows.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Are we going to take windows off buildings?

Speaker 8 (30:29):
Yeah, I've never had a bird in my fake spider webs.

Speaker 5 (30:33):
You might, I don't know.

Speaker 8 (30:35):
I saw it on.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
TikTok.
She saw it on TikTok, it's true.

Speaker 16 (30:38):
What is that?
It's just one of those fakecrows, honey, tiktok true.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
People just want to be mad about something.
What else we get?
We got some ghosts.
How much have?

Speaker 8 (30:54):
you spent on Halloween decor core this year
maybe like buck 50, not badbuffety dollar.

Speaker 9 (30:56):
50 dollar general that's where you went dollar
tree, the dollar, tree, thedollar 25 store.

Speaker 8 (30:59):
No, I fucking went to god damn home goods, oh no
crazy's birthday is coming upwho?

Speaker 11 (31:04):
my daughter?
Oh, she's 13 what'd she?
Get turning 13 um.

Speaker 5 (31:08):
She ignored me at school.
What is she getting?

Speaker 11 (31:10):
getting Tuesday.

Speaker 8 (31:11):
What yeah?

Speaker 11 (31:12):
She totally didn't know it was you.

Speaker 5 (31:13):
Oh no, she absolutely knew it was me.
She was in the hallway with herfriends yeah, she's too cool.
And I said Kenzie.

Speaker 11 (31:20):
She didn't go to school today.

Speaker 5 (31:22):
Is she okay?
She was puking this morning, ohno, yeah, I saw her in the
hallway and I was like, hey,kenzie, I even grabbed her she
said fuck off, teacher.

Speaker 8 (31:32):
She didn't give you a hug, or anything.

Speaker 5 (31:34):
She half looked at me and then turned away.
And then she walked by and Istarted laughing and I was I
don't care, Kenzie.
And she just started shakingher head and talking to her
friend I was like oh no, I'mgoing to tell her dad.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
She did not want to see any adult she knew at school
.
No Aunt.

Speaker 5 (31:53):
Casey None of it.
It made me laugh, it didn'thurt my feelings, it made me
giggle.
I was like, oh, that's aseventh grade thing, yeah that's
typical seventh grade Like ugh.
She looked good though.

Speaker 9 (32:05):
She looked happy.

Speaker 8 (32:06):
She was talking with her friends and I interrupted
her and I was like yep, Goddamnkids.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
What are your kids being for Halloween?

Speaker 8 (32:12):
Oh yeah, molly is a Squishmallow, specifically a fox
with a mermaid body.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
A fox.

Speaker 5 (32:21):
A fox maid what?

Speaker 2 (32:22):
A mer-fox Fox head and mermaid body.

Speaker 11 (32:25):
I mean, it's just a thing, you put on, she gonna
jump down the street with herfin.
I don't know.

Speaker 8 (32:30):
I mean she's feet.
She got got feet, she's gotlegs.
Are you going to fill up a?

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Are you going to fill up like an igloo cooler with
water and have her in it andthen pull her in like a wagon.

Speaker 8 (32:41):
No, your feet are out , you ding-dongs.
You said, mermaid, what's sauce?
Not going to be he don't know,Molly keeps saying a hot dog
she's like just get him a hotdog.
I don't know, he is not intoanything, he does not care, he's
just like the most kid thatI've ever known in my entire
life.
He's just going to go ask forcandy as.

(33:05):
Sawyer.

Speaker 5 (33:06):
Can I just have her?
I'm a YouTuber.
What about the girls?
What are they going to be?
Rylan is an angel, but ofcourse she is, she is molly was
gonna be that, but um notfitting lies yeah kenzie is a
character from some book that Idon't know.

Speaker 11 (33:25):
Good job, dad.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Yeah, I don't know that was the most dad answer
yeah, some movie I don't know,it.
That was the most dad answerit's a movie I don't know.

Speaker 8 (33:32):
Do you read it to him ?

Speaker 11 (33:33):
No, it's like what you know I can't read.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Why are you calling him out on the podcast?

Speaker 5 (33:43):
I'm a dick, my bad, do it.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
Taylor, you don't sound like that, I do.

Speaker 8 (33:49):
I haven't read my list.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
No, Molly's been she find your no Again no.

Speaker 8 (33:59):
She's been reading really well lately, because last
year she had trouble.
She's been reading Sawyer's Dogman books.

Speaker 12 (34:04):
Yay.

Speaker 8 (34:04):
Yeah.
But she was reading somethingelse and we were in the bed and
she was reading and I had to goto the bathroom and I could hear
her trying to sound it out andshe's like and then I walk out
of the bathroom and she's likeand I was like, what are you
reading?
And I was like it's Pocahontas.

Speaker 5 (34:26):
Pochitonimus, pochitonimus, pochitonimus
Pochitonimus Hip-hop anonymous,I did.

Speaker 8 (34:45):
She read her kitty cat unicorn, whatever books we
got her for christmas.
Yeah, I mean like I have tohelp her, but sure but the dog
man are really easy for herbecause they're like short kind
of you know yeah, absolutelyyeah.

Speaker 11 (34:55):
Good, that's good though.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, what you taught me ignore an eight casey is she
uh huh ignoring a casey he'sstill hung up on that.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
It was really funny and the teacher I was with was
like, do you know?

Speaker 7 (35:11):
her.
Yeah, no, are you sure?

Speaker 5 (35:13):
that was her I said, yeah, that's like kind of a
niece-ish yeah, this kid's kindof an asshole though, you know.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Hey, you need to, you need to ask kinsey act like you
don't know the story and didyou see casey on?
Tuesday did casey actually comeby?
Was she at highland east theother day, or whatever?

Speaker 11 (35:32):
no, and uh yeah, she had 20 bucks for you that I
told her to give to you yes didyou get it?

Speaker 5 (35:44):
did casey give you that 20 dollars?

Speaker 11 (35:47):
she's like god damn it.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
She had a hershey bar for you, just to see if Kinsey
was like, oh yeah, I talked toher and gave her a hug and be
like no, you didn't because Iembarrassed the shit out of her
in the hallway during passingperiod oh, she's a little liar
and I can't wait to do it againshe'll lie about it.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
I was so close because I saw her in the morning
.
It was like I don't know, aftersecond hour, maybe like between
second and third hour orsomething around there.
And in the morning I was like,oh, I'm going to find out
Kinsey's schedule, I'm going togo see her in class Like I'm
going to really lay it on thickand embarrass her.
And I saw her in the hallway.

(36:28):
I was like, oh, perfect, andthen I decided, ok, okay, I
won't do that, but I think I'mgonna do it like next week just
pop into her class and just sitand be like mckenzie, sloan
tibideau

Speaker 11 (36:44):
mckenzie, sloan, tibideau to the office, please
you have been naughty lickingdaddy said you're a little liar.
When's her birthday detentionOctober 21st no birthday for you
?

Speaker 5 (37:01):
is that during the week?

Speaker 8 (37:03):
I don't know, or is it?

Speaker 5 (37:04):
over a weekend.
It's a Monday.
A Monday, I'm gonna go sing toher on her birthday.
Happy birthday, oh my god do alike a.

Speaker 8 (37:12):
What do y'all a like a?
Do a, or what do I call them?
What do y'all call them?
Like a sing-a-gram or something.

Speaker 4 (37:17):
Yeah, like a birthday gram or something.

Speaker 5 (37:20):
Happy birthday.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Oh my God, do one of those things I don't know.
Barbershop, Barbershop.

Speaker 5 (37:25):
I am totally going to get a quartet together and
we're going to go sing Happybirthday.
Happy birthday to you.

Speaker 8 (37:34):
Happy birthday to you .
Shut up, it's a Kenzie, justtake Taylor.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Y'all do a duo.
Take Taylor.

Speaker 8 (37:43):
That was my Bruce Buffer there.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
I got a nickel in my pocket, a nickel in my pocket.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Got a penny in my pocket.

Speaker 9 (37:54):
A nickel in my pocket .
Bring Ted and grab it.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Got a penny in my shoe.
That's really my deck yeah see.

Speaker 6 (38:01):
Happy birthday Yank on her baby.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Happy birthday to you Smack my ass.

Speaker 5 (38:09):
Smack my ass and call me, sally.

Speaker 11 (38:11):
Call me Sally Call me.

Speaker 6 (38:12):
Sally, please, daddy, smack it.

Speaker 5 (38:19):
So, speaking of books , what was the last book you
read?
That's a lot of shit, did youshit?

Speaker 11 (38:23):
I didn't shit Huckleberry Finn Probably a menu
.

Speaker 5 (38:25):
A menu.

Speaker 11 (38:29):
What's the last thing you read?
Menu at BJ's Fucking menu man.

Speaker 5 (38:33):
Fucking Cheesecake Factory.
It's man fucking cheesecakefactory novel, yeah that is a
fucking novel chapter book manand it only has a few pictures
can we help you?

Speaker 15 (38:43):
uh with what uh?

Speaker 11 (38:44):
your order, sir.
I'm only on chapter three yeah,like god damn, give me like
hours.

Speaker 8 (38:50):
Can we get the?

Speaker 2 (38:51):
audio book.
I turned the light back on.

Speaker 8 (38:54):
I like the alien vibe .
Yeah, see.

Speaker 11 (38:57):
It's illumination, see.

Speaker 5 (39:00):
It's the 21st century Electricity.
Where are y'all going to?

Speaker 2 (39:05):
go.
You're just going to stickaround the neighborhood there
for trick-or-treating onHalloween.

Speaker 11 (39:11):
You're going to work your way around
trick-or-treating on halloween.
You're gonna work your way uharound what do you did
trick-or-treating.

Speaker 5 (39:17):
What do?

Speaker 2 (39:17):
you did.
You're gonna find a richneighborhood to take them to my
face.
Does that to people?

Speaker 8 (39:25):
I don't know.
We hadn't thought about itbecause bobby lane is probably
not very popping, so probablynot.
That's where I we usually go isthe Eric and the Glenn's
neighborhood.

Speaker 11 (39:33):
Just typical serial killers out there.

Speaker 8 (39:36):
So either we go to my ghetto neighborhood or you
should come to our neighborhood.

Speaker 11 (39:40):
I bet this neighborhood's great.

Speaker 8 (39:43):
I ain't driving over here on like a Tuesday or
something.
It's a Thursday, same season.
Take Friday off.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
I think they should actually do like the next day
off, for I agree for kids, for Ithink, for teachers monday off
after fall break, thanks.

Speaker 5 (40:01):
Now I have to fuck on my whole week, the following
week too I think three days offschool should be off the day
after halloween, just forteacher's sake.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I was gonna say for teachers, yeah, fuck maybe
that's where they ought to putfall break.

Speaker 8 (40:16):
Fucking makes sense or those stupid professional
days yeah fucking professionalstupid fucking professional
professional development daysthat's

Speaker 3 (40:26):
my job, that's my job that's my job and, like all the
don't do it on the day afterHalloween.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
I've been working on it for months On professional
day, I've got to watch thesemandatory videos.

Speaker 8 (40:37):
About what.

Speaker 5 (40:39):
The professional development I put on is fucking
great.
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 11 (40:43):
Bob and Sally are sitting down for lunch.
And one of them slides theirhand over to oh wait I had pg,
you had rated, r, rated triple xbob slides off his shoe and
puts it up sally's skirt andsally says, not my moisture

(41:06):
oyster your toenails need trimthere.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Bob, that's a switch.

Speaker 7 (41:12):
Try it out man.

Speaker 11 (41:13):
Try it out, hard fucking core.
Yeah, bob feels assaulted aboutthe toenail comment, so he goes
to HR.

Speaker 5 (41:24):
If it takes him four minutes to walk to HR at a rate
of Bob, but Bob's toenails areextra long, so it takes him 4.7
minutes.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
There's wind resistance and they're scrapey,
you got to learn HIPAA and FERPA, ferpa.

Speaker 4 (41:42):
And.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
EII.

Speaker 16 (41:43):
Not.

Speaker 5 (41:43):
HIPAA Show me your co-tangents.
Sally, I did Not in schools.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
I thought we were talking about school
professional development.
You're not the only person.

Speaker 8 (41:53):
We were talking about .
You're not the onlyprofessional that needs
developing in this room.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
We're talking about I love having control of the.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Fuck you Bob.
Did she call you Bob?
Yeah, she called me Bob, I wasjust trying to Don't fuck you.

Speaker 8 (42:10):
What are you wanting from me?
Oh my god, we got a packagetoday at my job.

Speaker 11 (42:14):
Was it a big package ?

Speaker 8 (42:16):
It kind of was Was it a big game of box?
I don't know what that was.
Why are you fucking?

Speaker 5 (42:23):
with my voice.
You're an ass and you're notgetting any blowjobs.

Speaker 11 (42:31):
Filter off oh.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
Okay, tell us about your dick in a box package.

Speaker 8 (42:44):
Oh yeah, so we got a package at work and they're
doing construction across thestreet.
Turn it off Getting a newbuilding.
And the package was for RichardBrown.
I go, do we have a Dick Brown?
Dick Brown.

Speaker 5 (42:56):
Brown, dick Brown, dick Brown.
So hard.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
Where's the?

Speaker 9 (43:05):
Brown.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
Dick, it was all the construction workers yeah,
they're all.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Show it to me, show it to me they to me Prove it.

Speaker 8 (43:15):
They were like he's the GC, the general contractor,
he's in the, he's in the.
What do they call it?

Speaker 11 (43:21):
Trailer the shitter.

Speaker 8 (43:23):
I was like Dick's in the trailer, Got it.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
He was Richard Brown.

Speaker 11 (43:29):
Is he in the Brown trailer?
It was white, it was white, itwas white it was round, it was
the best part of my day brown.

Speaker 8 (43:37):
Yeah, I go by rick.
Is there a dick brown in here?
I would definitely go by dickbrown ricky, ricky, ricky ricky

Speaker 5 (43:43):
ricky, ricky, ricky, ricky ricky, ricky, ricky ricky
ricky ricky, ricky, ricky oh mygod, you're gonna wear those
fucking suspenders all the time.

Speaker 8 (43:54):
Oh, I thought you were going to say something else
.
Oh my God, You're going to wearthose bad.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
Maybe I'm going to hook him to my underwear Two
spannies.

Speaker 5 (44:02):
Alien mask?
Oh God, Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Oh no, Take me to your leader.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Probe me, baby.
I wouldn't put your face inthat mask now.
It probably smells like oystermoisture.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Can that be the name of the episode?
Oyster moisture?
Yeah, you're going to forgetOyster moisture, the Halloween
special.

Speaker 8 (44:28):
Oyster moisture, oyster moisture in the clamshell
gang.
It's like a Spongebob episodeit is Oyster Moisture.
Isn't that the Krabby Pattyfrom Wendy's I?

Speaker 2 (44:40):
wanna get it Oyster Moisture and the Clamshell Gang
Bang.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
Gang bang, no, gang bang, no.
Oyster Moisture should be aLike a Toot scoot A new like
it's a skincare.

Speaker 5 (44:56):
Oyster moisture should be like a new Summer's
Eve or like female deodorantOyster moisturizer.

Speaker 8 (45:04):
Moisturizing wipe.

Speaker 11 (45:05):
Oyster de-moisture.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
Oyster moisturizer yeah, when you're too dry.

Speaker 9 (45:10):
It's lube.
It's lube.
Oyster moisturizer is lube whenyou're too dry it's lube, it's
lube.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Oyster moisturizer is lube.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Did Hurricane Milton give you oyster moisture?
Well, try oyster moisture anddry it all up.

Speaker 11 (45:25):
Is there a clam leaving?

Speaker 2 (45:27):
snail trails.
Yeah, that's why I'm so gladsummer is almost done.

Speaker 4 (45:33):
Is there a clam leaving snail trails.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
I leave snail trails during the hot months.
I'm tired of it.

Speaker 11 (45:41):
I'm sagging, I know Dripping, I know oh dripping.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
When I get off that seat and I see there's a snail
trail, I kind of do this and tryto help it dry off real quick.
I hate that it's soembarrassing.

Speaker 11 (45:55):
I do it all the time you get a moose knuckle drag
mark.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
No it happens like Every now and then it skips.
It doesn't drip.
No it's moist If I'm wearinglike I drip If I'm wearing
shorts.

Speaker 8 (46:07):
Oh well, go to the doctor.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
I think it's leaking.

Speaker 5 (46:13):
Uh-oh.
If I'm wearing shorts or like askirt or something, and I sit
on like a vinyl seat at arestaurant.

Speaker 8 (46:20):
You leave a trail.

Speaker 5 (46:21):
Just from where my thighs are Not from the oyster.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
My butt hole does.
Oh, I thought you meant yourballs, when my mermaid thighs
touch Dude all the time.

Speaker 5 (46:28):
No, my vagina's fine.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
I have to have it cold, so I don't leave a snell
trail your balls.
That's what?
No, my butthole it just oozes.
That's why he doesn't get hissalad tossed, I would not want
that that is no one's going downto chernobyl and putting their
face right there.

Speaker 8 (46:48):
Good parts, you can go on, that aren't gross.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
What.

Speaker 5 (46:52):
What did you say?

Speaker 8 (46:53):
To go on.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
What is it A cruise.

Speaker 8 (46:55):
No, I said, there's plenty of good parts you can
diddle on or whatever I said.
Diddle With a bunch of washablemarkers that aren't gross like
a fucking bubble With my tongue.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Oh, you said diddle, not doodle.
Well, I mean.

Speaker 5 (47:08):
I lick his balls, okay.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Here we go, the party's over here we go.
Hold on, hold on there we go.
I have to have that butt in thebathroom.

Speaker 5 (47:20):
Repeat.
I don't lick on him a lotthough.
Okay, hold on Repeat.
All right, Play it back.

Speaker 6 (47:27):
The party's over, all right.
I back party's over, all right,like that, can you?

Speaker 8 (47:30):
turn that party's over into a soundbite.
I don't know.
Yeah, you're fucked up.
You don't know what's going on,man I got something.
I think it's great what y'alldo before I got here.
What did I do to this nothing?

Speaker 5 (47:40):
oh nothing well, just rewind the video beep, I feel
it I'm singing, yeah I won't youmean business okay you're a

(48:02):
singer, that makes sense, feelit hey man, yeah ready.

Speaker 4 (48:08):
Amen, amen, ready I don't know the words.

Speaker 5 (48:15):
I feel this in my bones.
What is she wearing?

Speaker 9 (48:18):
I feel it every day.

Speaker 5 (48:39):
Amen, lord.
Is that like in Psalms, orsomething?
I think so.
I like that one.
That was a good one.
I like that.
I want to go to that church.
I like that?

Speaker 2 (48:48):
Oh, I like that.
Lord, help me from slappingsomebody today.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
Dang it Seth stop.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
I like it.
I like it.
Hey, you know what?
It's time for Toilet Talks,what's?

Speaker 8 (49:02):
that, albert Finn, let's go full throttle.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
Full throttle, I just super dotted my pants Super
dotted my pants Beep boop, bop.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Oh no Green donuts.
Oh God Donuts, they'redelicious.

Speaker 8 (49:28):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (49:29):
And if you had one, you would want another one.
Mm-mm.
Amen to that, yeah sister Speakmy language.

Speaker 8 (49:36):
I mean, I do like them.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
I used to love her.

Speaker 16 (49:40):
The lady's like, oh dude, this is so easy, I'm ready
for the ring.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
Oh my God, oh my God, I don't like that.

Speaker 5 (49:49):
What were?

Speaker 8 (49:49):
you going to say have you seen the one?
What, oh where?
It's like when you're not goodat small talk and the old lady's
like have you ever had a KrispyKreme donut?

Speaker 5 (50:01):
She's very caring.

Speaker 8 (50:01):
She goes was it Krispy?
And the lady goes no, she goesexactly.

Speaker 7 (50:06):
Exactly.

Speaker 8 (50:09):
Was it creamy, that's my favorite.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
Oh God, what is he doing?
Oh get it.

Speaker 5 (50:15):
Go, boy go.
That's Tibby Jungle favoritethat is Tibby.

Speaker 11 (50:22):
That's after my wife falls asleep.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
I love you, oh buck buck.

Speaker 6 (50:30):
Bunk he likes it.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Hang on, guys, I'm hard they're all giggling like
little girls.

Speaker 8 (50:39):
Hang on you remember dick, put your boner away like
oh, oh, that's a great time topause.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
The answer is no I almost put this guy in tiktok
Bachelors but it is sodisturbing.
I did not Just wait.
Where does he want it?

Speaker 11 (51:02):
He's gonna let you know.
He's gonna let you know Does hehave teeth.

Speaker 5 (51:07):
I bet that nose can do some work, though.

Speaker 7 (51:09):
Yeah this guy knows some shit man in the canoe.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Oh, give me some sugar this morning.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
Oh no, Pause it.

Speaker 11 (51:25):
Why is his tongue black?
I don't know, licorice, he'sbeen eating the licorice.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
It's not rotting, it's not drugs.
He's been eating licorice, theblack licorice.
No, no, licorice.
Oh my God, he's been eating thelicorice, the licorice.
It's around my nose.
It's not rotting, it's notdrugs.
He's been eating licorice, theblack licorice.

Speaker 5 (51:36):
No, no that doodle, that doodle right there, that
doodle man, that doodle boyDoodle right there.
Chocolate.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Chocolate Eye surgery or something?
You can see his glasses behindthose glasses.

Speaker 11 (51:52):
He gave him frostbite in the tongue.

Speaker 5 (51:55):
The voice was not what I was expecting.

Speaker 12 (51:57):
That was almost as.

Speaker 5 (51:58):
Oh that was so disturbing.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Oh, just wait, oh there's more.

Speaker 8 (52:02):
I am so dry right now .

Speaker 5 (52:05):
There was zero oyster moisture happening.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
No, oyster moisture.

Speaker 11 (52:09):
Alright, here we go.
Oysters are out to sea, stop it.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Do you think Dad and Jeff do this on their like guide
trips?

Speaker 5 (52:24):
Do you think he had like a cupcake with black icing
or something?
I'm going to go with that.
I'm so uncomfortable.
Did he just raspberry eclipse?

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Oh yeah, I'm a cookie musher, I will do.
I'm good this morning.
Just get up, I need subtitles.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
Please, I really need .

Speaker 11 (53:04):
I wouldn't want to dirty up my butthole.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
That's what he gave the other guy.

Speaker 5 (53:15):
That's what happened, that is one of the best things
you've ever said to me.
That's one of the best thingsyou've ever said.
I don't want to dirty up mybutthole with this mouth.

Speaker 11 (53:21):
No, no that's a dirty seat, you're gonna have to
wash out your mouth before youget to my butthole, will you
please?

Speaker 4 (53:27):
Stop.
Oh my god, I can't Does he?

Speaker 5 (53:35):
have a plate.
It's a super power.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
What is he saying?
Scooby-dooby-doo in the morning, scooby-dooby-doo,
scooby-dooby-doo,scooby-dooby-doo,
scooby-dooby-doo.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Scooby-dooby-Doo, scooby-doo and Scrappy-Doo.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
Scrappy-Doo and Scrappy-Doo, scrappy-doo and
Scrappy-Doo.

Speaker 13 (53:56):
He pulls the mask off If I wasn't for you kids, I
wouldn't be here.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
Thank you, baby.

Speaker 5 (54:04):
Oh, we understood that.
Thank you, baby.
Is he like the penguin?
Will you please turn him into?

Speaker 9 (54:12):
Turn it off Stop raspberry-ing Clint.

Speaker 5 (54:15):
That's so wrong.
Will you please use him on thesoundboard from now on?
Thank you baby, thank you baby.

Speaker 7 (54:22):
In the morning.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
Thank you baby, oh, oh.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Hey girl Is that her hey girl, me or Tibby, I can't
tell.

Speaker 5 (54:38):
Who, which I think it's Tibby.

Speaker 9 (54:40):
Ah, I think it's.

Speaker 4 (54:42):
Tibby.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
It's Tibby.
No, taylor, she wants Taylor.

Speaker 11 (54:45):
I think it's.

Speaker 5 (54:46):
Mmm, ah, pepperoni titties.
What about?

Speaker 8 (54:52):
your own melons Challenge.
I didn't know this.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Is this like the ice bucket challenge?
I didn't know this was goingaround.

Speaker 11 (54:59):
now, oh you motorboat them boys.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
I think you started it.

Speaker 7 (55:02):
You are a motorboat, son of a bitch.
This is the motorboat your ownmelons challenge.
Oh no, okay.

Speaker 5 (55:10):
Oh, my God.
He won.
Taylor, can you motorboat yourown melons?
No, toss me my keys, that hurts.

Speaker 14 (55:18):
I said my keys, I thought you said printer.
Why the fuck, would I sayprinter.

Speaker 11 (55:23):
Why the fuck would I ?

Speaker 4 (55:25):
say printer?
What's that?
Why the fuck would I sayprinter?
It's your cousin from Boston,it's your cousin from Boston,
from Boston, from Boston, fromBoston, from Boston, from Boston
, from Boston from Boston, fromBoston, from Boston from Boston
from Boston from Boston fromBoston, from Boston, from Boston
, from Boston from Boston fromBoston from Boston from Boston,
from Boston, from Boston, fromBoston, from Boston, from Boston
, from Boston from Boston from.

Speaker 5 (55:43):
Boston.
Oh no, I'm gone.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
Oh no.

Speaker 5 (55:53):
Goodbye.
What is he gonna hump?
What's your bet?

Speaker 9 (55:57):
Mom has left the fucking house, baby, you're
gonna just destroy thatfurniture.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
He's gonna hump.
Oh, oh, you're mine.

Speaker 7 (56:06):
Oh, my god, I'm gonna give it to ya.
Wait, oh, is she coming back?
I heard the keys.

Speaker 11 (56:14):
I can't just put it away.

Speaker 8 (56:16):
It stings Every male's instinct is to just hump,
no matter the breed species,human, alien, it don't matter
Dog, cat.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Casey, you're going shopping with your mom.
Okay, see you later.

Speaker 5 (56:31):
Not even masturbating , just humping.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
Driving, pillows Pushing, I'm okay.

Speaker 11 (56:43):
I don't need an armchair.

Speaker 4 (56:47):
I'm okay.

Speaker 5 (56:48):
That's me.

Speaker 8 (56:51):
Oh God, oh no Me in the future.
Yeah, this is you and friendboy.

Speaker 5 (56:58):
Oh, they're swingers.
Look at that they're pineapples.

Speaker 6 (57:01):
They're swingers, pineapple pen.

Speaker 5 (57:04):
I got a pineapple.
And he wants it in the butt.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
I'm a quick pumper.
I'm a quick pumper.

Speaker 11 (57:12):
Oh shit, oh shit.

Speaker 4 (57:13):
Oh no, where the fuck did he?

Speaker 2 (57:17):
fall to Do it again Do it again.

Speaker 8 (57:19):
Why would you do that ?

Speaker 2 (57:21):
He was screaming forever.

Speaker 5 (57:24):
Oh, oh, we get the humpers again.
Yeah, sorry about that.
They're doing that in Walmart.

Speaker 8 (57:31):
Can you imagine if you saw them videoing that?
I know.
I'd be like they're swingers.

Speaker 5 (57:36):
Are they making a TikTok?

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Is that how you check ?

Speaker 5 (57:37):
pineapples, You're going to buy those right?
They're swingers who are openfor business.

Speaker 11 (57:42):
That's what that means.
I saw you get some of thatoyster Okay.

Speaker 8 (57:52):
Where does this dude fall?
To this dude falls too.
I think he's in China, manChina, what's in there?

Speaker 4 (58:02):
Fuck sake, oh fuck sake.
I love babies, that cuss.

Speaker 6 (58:07):
I think it's the best thing Fuck sake.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
I'm so sad.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
Oh boy, oh no.

Speaker 5 (58:22):
You're fucked up for life.
The thing is, I don't likethose videos.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
The thing is that's not the first time someone
slipped on that fucking tileoutside of that house.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
I guarantee that I hate those videos.
That looks different.
I can't watch those.
All right, supreme, oh god,wait for it.

Speaker 7 (58:46):
The N-word.
The N-word.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
Of course, the N-word , the N-word, the N-word.
Why, why did?

Speaker 5 (59:20):
you say that that's a dog, the N-word.

Speaker 6 (59:23):
Mice fart louder than you right now.

Speaker 4 (59:25):
Here it is.

Speaker 11 (59:25):
Oh, you're going to poop.

Speaker 8 (59:35):
She's excited.
I peed my pants.
Oh no, I peed my pants.

Speaker 5 (59:42):
It happens.
Oh, she really peed her pants,oh, peed her pants.

Speaker 11 (59:48):
Laughing words again .
Wasn't that your favoritecostume?

Speaker 4 (59:51):
Yeah, I just peed my pants Peter Pan oh no.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
When you accidentally become important at work and
everybody starts asking you howto do things this is Taylor at
work what the fuck shit, goddamn it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:13):
I don't know.
This is Taylor at work.
Listen.
What the fuck, shit, shit, goddamn it.
Shit, shit, the fuck, the fuck.

Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
Man, god damn, is Taylor in her office.
That is me, god damn God damn.

Speaker 16 (01:00:28):
The average dong is 5.17 inches long One mile.17
inches long One mile is.
I love math.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
There's about to be some serious science going on
right here.

Speaker 16 (01:00:38):
Just listen, ready 5,280 feet, so we multiply that
by 12.
We get 63,360 inches.
So we take that number and wedivide it by dong and we get
12,255.3191 dong.

Speaker 5 (01:00:52):
That's a lot of dongs Dongs per mile, no wait.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
So if 3.14 is pi, 5.17 is dong.

Speaker 8 (01:01:03):
Oh, pi and dong, Okay got it Per mile.

Speaker 16 (01:01:05):
So the circumference of Earth is 24,901.461 miles.
So we multiply that by dongsper mile.
By dongs we have a total of305,175,351 dongs to go around
Earth.
We're not just down there.
You're probably asking yourselfhow many dongs is the average
man?
Well, the average man is 5 feet7.5 inches.

(01:01:28):
So some quick math is 67.5inches.
So we divide that again bydong.5 inches.
So some quick math is 67.5inches.
So we divide that again by dong.
And I get 13.0560928 dong'stall.
Oh, that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
And look, we get that information from that guy, not
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Speaker 5 (01:01:49):
Hey you be nice about Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
I'm sure he'll calculate how many dongs it
takes to go around the universe.
He didn't even know what dongwas.
I bet he does.
5.17.

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
I bet his dong is.
Who are you talking about?
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Speaker 11 (01:02:03):
I bet his dong's in deGrasse, degrasse.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Not deGrasse, andre deGrasse.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Andre Degrassi, didn't he play tennis, his
dong's that long long dong, longdong silver wait.

Speaker 5 (01:02:23):
Why do we do long?

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
dong in an.

Speaker 5 (01:02:24):
Asian accent that's not accurate we got a long dong
here.
We got a long dong here youLong dong, long dong.

Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
We got a long dong here.

Speaker 6 (01:02:33):
You want long dong.
A long dong you a happy ending.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
I got special or long dong.
You want long dong?
Very special.
You want long dong turkeyspecial.

Speaker 5 (01:02:39):
You'll get fried rice Super moist.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Come inside of Ostro.
Moisture, super moist we'recanceled.
Well, we finish this.
Sorry, Philippines.
Okay, here we go, next toMoistop today.

Speaker 3 (01:02:51):
The fart pedal.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:03:01):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
Ask Casey after.

Speaker 4 (01:03:20):
Baskin-Boobs, I told you don't go to Ricky's.
Who had the Ricky's, who hadthe Ricky's.

Speaker 5 (01:03:26):
Is that the new podcast song?

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
The next podcast intro song will be all done on
the fart pit.
It better be.
Can I have another?

Speaker 11 (01:03:39):
Burger King will do that to me.

Speaker 6 (01:03:41):
Burger King Burger King.

Speaker 5 (01:03:44):
We can pause and you can go pee pee.

Speaker 11 (01:03:45):
Burger King gives me the toots.
Who does the King the?

Speaker 5 (01:03:48):
King, ew, I don't eat there.

Speaker 8 (01:03:49):
Burger King Me either .
I love the king.
Ew, I don't eat there.

Speaker 11 (01:03:51):
Burger King Me either.

Speaker 5 (01:03:52):
I love.

Speaker 9 (01:03:53):
Burger King.
Oh, you know what's worse thanBurger King Carl's Jr Ew.

Speaker 8 (01:03:59):
Just fucking white trash me now.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Jesus.

Speaker 8 (01:04:01):
Christ White trash me now.

Speaker 11 (01:04:04):
I haven't had that for a while.

Speaker 5 (01:04:06):
I don't like.
I love Burger King.
Ew, I do.

Speaker 9 (01:04:12):
Flame.
I love Burger.

Speaker 11 (01:04:13):
King Ew, I do Flame broiled, flame broiled farts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
I want fake, oh I think a little came out, oh shit
.

Speaker 11 (01:04:22):
Damn.
Oh, it blinks, and shit too, oh, okay.

Speaker 5 (01:04:27):
And now you have a Kentucky Fried Chicken shirt.

Speaker 11 (01:04:30):
Oh, dude, I love this.
I'm going to wear this to mynext day at work.
I'm not shitting you, oh no.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
I saw that at the store today and I was like I
just have to buy this.

Speaker 17 (01:04:41):
I love it.
I've never seen a Kentucky.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
Fried Chicken shirt.
So why did?

Speaker 5 (01:04:45):
you get us all shirts .
Do you want to tell that story,since we didn't get to get our?

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
shirts.
Okay, so the aliens weredressed as humans.
Oh so, and this is what humanswear?
Yeah, suspenders, uh graphictees.

Speaker 11 (01:05:02):
Sure, yeah, cool and such.
Yeah, back your t-shirt overyour head for some tp well, that
makes your bunghole yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
They don't have bungholes.
I don't know, we didn't get tointerview them.

Speaker 5 (01:05:15):
Aliens don't have bungholes.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
We don't know that, do you know?

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
that that was such a dainty sit that you just did.

Speaker 8 (01:05:24):
Yeah, because I tried to finger one and they were
like I don't have a bunghole.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
She got a cable plug in oh my God, was it an alien or
a legal alien?
I?

Speaker 9 (01:05:34):
have presence?
What?

Speaker 8 (01:05:37):
Huh, there's this.
I don't think he's illegal, butthere's this illegal alien, I
think, at work.
He's a landscaper and he alwayssays hey my friend and he tries
to talk to me for so long andI'm like he's like he's your
husband and I'm like he's likewhat's your husband?
And I'm like he's at work.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
He's trying to get that green card.
You got kids, and then I foundout he was like.

Speaker 8 (01:05:58):
I know you from somewhere.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
I know the podcast.

Speaker 8 (01:06:02):
And I was like the podcast.
I said, well, where are youfrom?
And he goes Mexico.
And I said no.
I said where do you live?
I said where do you live now?
And he goes Mustang.
I said oh, that's where I livein Mustang.
And he's like oh, you go to LasFuerzas.

Speaker 7 (01:06:21):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
He waited on you?

Speaker 8 (01:06:23):
No, I think he just eats there.
Oh, that means it's goodMexican.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
Yeah, if he eats there.

Speaker 8 (01:06:30):
It is good what's happening right now?

Speaker 9 (01:06:33):
Your headphones aren't even on Stop.

Speaker 12 (01:06:39):
Stop right now, quit , don't you dare move the knock
hard.

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
It's coming, it's coming, that's.

Speaker 5 (01:06:47):
Daniel, that's.

Speaker 4 (01:06:48):
Daniel, he crapped, he crapped, he crapped.
I smell a shit.
That's Daniel.
He crapped, he crapped, hecrapped, he crapped.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
I don't know if I'm gonna throw up or shit.

Speaker 8 (01:06:54):
That was Daniel oh.

Speaker 5 (01:07:00):
I guess that answers that question.

Speaker 11 (01:07:01):
What was the question?
I missed the question.
If he farts, he'll leave shitin his pants.

Speaker 8 (01:07:05):
Yeah well, he shit Always, you're a boy.

Speaker 4 (01:07:09):
My car.
It's coming, jeff, jeff.

Speaker 7 (01:07:14):
I'm about gone.

Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
Did he cry?

Speaker 7 (01:07:16):
out.
I like the dad.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
The dad's been quiet.

Speaker 7 (01:07:20):
The whole time.
Did he cry out, did he cry out.

Speaker 11 (01:07:23):
I don't think I smell it.

Speaker 7 (01:07:26):
I don't know if I'm not a throw up or shit my pants.
Oh.

Speaker 11 (01:07:42):
Throw up or shit, my Fuck the fuck you, the dogs
love.
What in your?

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
face get beyondip.
Jones, what Sniff, sniff Deep.

Speaker 11 (01:07:52):
Oh, he's going to get pink eye.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
This is the oddest father-son trip.

Speaker 5 (01:07:59):
Are you sure they're father-son?
That's a weird kink.
I don't know that might betweaked.
I mean, I think, one of themcalls the other one daddy but I
don't think it's father-son Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:08:29):
Yeah, this is the last.
Come clean me up, mommy.
What the heck.

Speaker 5 (01:08:34):
Oh, my God the kid was reflecting on his own shit.
What, what, the heck.

Speaker 4 (01:08:39):
What the heck.

Speaker 8 (01:08:40):
So funny.
Oh my God, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:08:49):
Oh boy, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, she was more like a bootyqueen From a movie scene.
I said not mine.
But what do you mean?
I am the one who will dance onthe floor In the warm.
She said I am the one who willdance on the floor in the one.

(01:09:09):
She said I am the one who willdance on the floor in the one.
She told me her name was BillieJean, magical justine.
She said we dance, we will winthe dream of being the one who

(01:09:31):
will dance on the floor in theone?

Speaker 4 (01:09:34):
is he French?
Don't go around doing what to ayoung girl Pardon, I don't know
, I'm making no joke.
What to a young girl?
Uh, farting, I don't know.
Make a ninja a fart.

Speaker 10 (01:09:53):
Gonna rest on me, because what you love, because
love's what you do, we likebecause we do.

Speaker 4 (01:09:56):
Yeah, anything.
You knock my doorbell me just a.
Can you saying that to a younggirl?

Speaker 11 (01:10:05):
She's just a cool girl.

Speaker 4 (01:10:07):
And she claimed that I had the one.
The kitty clean the iron don'tI Ducky, ducky, ducky, ducky.

Speaker 6 (01:10:14):
As a blind mom of two .
Here's how I know my toddler isripped off his diaper and peed
somewhere in the house.
I love this one oh dang.

Speaker 5 (01:10:23):
She does the funniest fucking video as a blind mom of
two my God, she's so fuckingfunny as a blind mom of two.

Speaker 6 (01:10:28):
Here's how I know my toddler has ripped off his
diaper and peed somewhere in thehouse.

Speaker 11 (01:10:39):
Peacocks refers to the males of the peafowl species
.

Speaker 14 (01:10:43):
The females are called paginas.

Speaker 5 (01:10:48):
As they should be, hey look.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
We've had some serious science on this show, as
they should be.

Speaker 7 (01:10:55):
Hey look, Paginas.
We've had some serious scienceon this show right now on this
episode.
That's pretty scientific PaginaPagina.
Did you see the?

Speaker 5 (01:11:00):
vagina.
Did you see that vagina?
Look at the peacock in thevagina Stunning.
Look at the vagina in the wild.
I see a peacock in the vagina.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
Did that peacock go in the vagina?
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:11:14):
Did you know that IBS is a?

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
symptom of parasites.

Speaker 9 (01:11:25):
No, it's not Did you know that acne is a sign of
parasites.

Speaker 5 (01:11:34):
It's not In your butthole.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
Okay.

Speaker 12 (01:11:37):
Constipation.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
Okay.

Speaker 11 (01:11:39):
Acne is diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
Got that Urethra.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
Got that Wait, I have parasites.
I have constipation anddiarrhea.

Speaker 5 (01:11:49):
I don't know how you have those simultaneously, but I
got them Two differentparasites.

Speaker 8 (01:11:55):
Oh no, that's whenever your butthole's gagging
.

Speaker 5 (01:12:00):
Your butthole's dry, even Dry even.

Speaker 12 (01:12:05):
Not sleeping at night, insomnia yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:12:11):
Anxiety yeah, anxiety yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
Wait.
I can't sleep at night becausemy booty parasites are keeping
me up.

Speaker 5 (01:12:20):
Those are called demons.
And your acne.

Speaker 11 (01:12:24):
Itchy butthole, wait , wait.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Wait, wait, hang on.
I didn't hear her, I wasscratching my butt.

Speaker 11 (01:12:32):
What is he saying?
Wait, wait, itchy butthole,itchy butt Is that the technical
term?

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Sometimes I can't sleep at night.
I have constipation anddiarrhea at the same time.
I get IBS from breathing.

Speaker 11 (01:12:49):
Itchy butt syndrome.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
And I got itchy butt, I got fucking parasite y'all A
clean butthole TMJ.

Speaker 8 (01:12:57):
What TMJ Uh-uh.

Speaker 11 (01:13:00):
That's how you scratch in your butthole.
Symptoms of parasites.

Speaker 8 (01:13:03):
Oh my God, Drink it Fucking idiot.

Speaker 5 (01:13:09):
I want that to be a sound of the board too.
Drink it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
I got a surprise for everyone.

Speaker 12 (01:13:14):
Maybe not Tibby, he may not know her, but yes, man,
I was wondering how long it wasgonna take somebody to ask me
this.

Speaker 9 (01:13:26):
I love her, hmm, hmm well, I love her Hmm.

Speaker 12 (01:13:34):
Hmm, well, smells a little bit like Spam, the kind
in the can.
I love her.
Maybe a little bit like aVianney sausage, geraldine, god
damn it.
No more.
Like Spam Spam, but the spicykind.
Like Spam Spam, but the spicykind of Spam.
You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 11 (01:13:55):
Oh my God, because today's Tuesday and shit.

Speaker 12 (01:13:58):
I'm not that good at it when it smells, so I hope
that that answered your question.
And, groff, think of me nexttime you open a can of spicy
Spam, would ya?

Speaker 11 (01:14:13):
Hold that tight.

Speaker 12 (01:14:14):
Alright, have a good day.

Speaker 5 (01:14:16):
Talk to y'all later bye, I need her and
what's-his-face-with-the-teeth?
The rollerblading teeth guy.

Speaker 6 (01:14:22):
Oh yeah.
I need them to do a duet.

Speaker 8 (01:14:25):
So how you doing today Caught me blading I was
blading to die.

Speaker 7 (01:14:33):
The black tongue guy.

Speaker 8 (01:14:34):
No, no but have you seen troll the blade guy?

Speaker 5 (01:14:35):
you know the little girl on trolls, that's a troll,
that's what you're the littlegirl on troll like in the first
one, yeah, like the one thatthey like kind of boost up,
boost your self-esteem, isn't?

Speaker 8 (01:14:50):
she a troll yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:14:52):
She's a.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
We're not talking about internet trolls, no.

Speaker 8 (01:15:00):
The movie Trolls she looks like a Borgendorger or
whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
A Borgendorger.

Speaker 8 (01:15:05):
The orcs or whatever that eat the trolls.
She's not an orc, aBorgendorger.

Speaker 5 (01:15:09):
They're a Borgendorgen, a Borgendorgen.

Speaker 11 (01:15:11):
They're a Borgend Borgendorgen.
Yeah, they're pretty her up,the little girl Borgern.
She looks just like that shedoes A Buggerborgen A?

Speaker 5 (01:15:18):
Buggerborgen With her buck teeth yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:15:23):
That's what I remember.
Ooh, can I, can I go?

Speaker 5 (01:15:31):
for that, for Halloween Geraldine or
Bufenberger or whatever.

Speaker 8 (01:15:33):
Yes, geraldine the Borganberger, that haircut Ooh.

Speaker 6 (01:15:36):
Is there anybody here with us willing to communicate?

Speaker 11 (01:15:39):
No, I'm going to fart, Monica.

Speaker 8 (01:15:45):
That was loud that was loud.
Monica.
Yes, girl Monica, that was loud.

Speaker 5 (01:15:51):
That was loud, Monica .
Yes, I'll do it again, GirlWell.

Speaker 12 (01:15:55):
I look beautiful.
Yeah, you do, I look vibrant.

Speaker 5 (01:15:58):
Yeah, you do.

Speaker 12 (01:15:59):
I'm a blowing bombshell.
Hell yeah, pretty much.
Look like an angel now.

Speaker 8 (01:16:04):
You are an angel, I'm glowing, ain't I Glowing?

Speaker 5 (01:16:09):
The men are going to be in my DMs after they see this
video, that's for sure.

Speaker 12 (01:16:13):
You're the prettiest it's been a little bit slow
lately, to tell you the truth.
I know Not, no more, not withthese bangs.

Speaker 8 (01:16:20):
Those bangs are.
They're banging.

Speaker 12 (01:16:22):
Boss, geraldine's a new woman, just look at me.

Speaker 11 (01:16:31):
I am Go ahead, look at it.

Speaker 12 (01:16:35):
I've never looked better.

Speaker 4 (01:16:37):
I know, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me,
call me, call me, call me Callme Every time boss calls me.

Speaker 5 (01:16:58):
that's why I picture.

Speaker 1 (01:17:01):
We're able to mimic Nessie Amun's more science for
the audience Voice by recreatinghis mouth and vocal cords with
a 3D printer.
It allowed them to produce asingle sound, god damn Jimmy,
this is some serious gourmetshit.

Speaker 4 (01:17:21):
God damn Jimmy.
God damn Jimmy.

Speaker 11 (01:17:27):
Some serious gourmet shit, god damn, this's a juicy
burger.

Speaker 1 (01:17:34):
Scientists were able to mimic Nessie Amun's voice by
recreating his mouth and vocalcords with a 3D printer.
It allowed them to produce asingle sound God damn Jimmy,
this is some serious gourmetshit.

Speaker 4 (01:17:49):
Did they rock my dick ?
Good?

Speaker 12 (01:17:51):
Did it make it Look how pretty she is, Rita you keep
bugging for my attention, soyou're getting a video.
No video, you're begging.
Which has did come true.
And since you keep telling meto hush it when I'm doing my
singing videos, I'm going tosing you a song.
Oh, it's a classic.

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
GEB.
Hit her with it, geraldine, geb, geraldine, yeah, you know, get
it.

Speaker 12 (01:18:17):
I hovered to the Walmart with hopes high in the
sky.
Oh, this is powerful.
I wandered up and down everyaisle.

Speaker 5 (01:18:30):
Raise your ladders, everybody.

Speaker 12 (01:18:35):
Papaw picked me up About twenty minutes later.

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
Oh, papaw, papaw the cashier.

Speaker 11 (01:18:41):
Man said EBT won't get you a vibrator?

Speaker 12 (01:18:46):
Oh that's stupid.
But I couldn't tell Papaw,Papaw oh that's stupid, Papaw.

Speaker 5 (01:19:03):
It's a heartbreak song.

Speaker 12 (01:19:08):
You can't tell Papaw , definitely not.
No, tell pap off like how muchyou want to bone?
Definitely not his old bestfriend gary.
No, she's pretty hot, I raninto my room, threw myself onto
the bed.
Oh, I cried and cried, and thenI wept and wept.

Speaker 5 (01:19:29):
What's the difference between crying and weeping?

Speaker 12 (01:19:32):
It wasn't long until my hand found the heat of
undercarriage Moisturizer.
This ain't the kind of lovewhere you gotta wait until
marriage.
Sorry, I'm doing it Half all.
Come to check on me.
He said why's it stinking here,geraldine?

Speaker 4 (01:19:55):
But I couldn't tell Papaw.

Speaker 12 (01:19:59):
He will never know why my running hands smell like
a tomboy Sometimes you can'ttell Papaw.

Speaker 4 (01:20:10):
You can't tell Papaw it's going to go.
Sonny, make it some spicy spamNow, Papaw, go back to bed.

Speaker 5 (01:20:26):
Papaw.
Make sure you take yourMetamucil, papaw make a tuna
bowl in there your.
Metamucil.

Speaker 6 (01:20:30):
Metamucil, metamucil.

Speaker 5 (01:20:30):
Buy this and I'll make a tuna bowl in there, your
Metamucil, metamucil.

Speaker 11 (01:20:32):
Metamucil.
There's that spicy spam, did Ijust go?
Inside this shed in a Costco tofart.
No.

Speaker 4 (01:20:40):
Selena Spooky, boo Spooky.

Speaker 5 (01:20:43):
Boo.
She's one of my very favoriteswho?
Selena Spooky Boo, that's hername.

Speaker 8 (01:20:47):
Who I wasn.
Selena Spooky Boo, that's hername.

Speaker 3 (01:20:50):
Who.

Speaker 8 (01:20:50):
I'm not sure yet.

Speaker 4 (01:20:51):
Camera recording.

Speaker 8 (01:20:57):
Not again.

Speaker 4 (01:20:58):
Yeah, you broke her back.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no youbroke my back.

Speaker 5 (01:21:01):
Oh, I don't like those videos.
Don't do those anymore.
What I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:21:04):
I guarantee it's not the first time.

Speaker 8 (01:21:06):
Someone's broke my back.
Yeah, she fucked herself up.

Speaker 10 (01:21:11):
He just learned how it feels to be folded like
washing, oh shit.

Speaker 5 (01:21:16):
Oh no, oh no.

Speaker 11 (01:21:17):
This is when he knew .
This is going poorly.
This is not age.
Well, I feel like.

Speaker 5 (01:21:25):
This is a before video, for sure.

Speaker 11 (01:21:27):
Two seconds later.

Speaker 14 (01:21:34):
No, this is a before video, for sure, two seconds
later.

Speaker 8 (01:21:36):
There's no way he didn't fart right there, You're
dead man.

Speaker 5 (01:21:40):
We got a full butt.
Crack on that video.

Speaker 16 (01:21:43):
Heart attack and everything.

Speaker 8 (01:21:44):
Why is?

Speaker 5 (01:21:45):
his shirt tucked in.

Speaker 2 (01:21:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:21:48):
We already saw her taint.
I mean, saw it.
Ah, hey, we already saw hertaint.

Speaker 9 (01:21:50):
I mean saw it we saw it.

Speaker 11 (01:21:53):
How many videos have you watched?

Speaker 5 (01:21:58):
Rubberblades, hobby horse oh, I love this guy yes.

Speaker 17 (01:22:02):
Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:22:02):
God.

Speaker 4 (01:22:03):
Jump.

Speaker 5 (01:22:05):
Sweet jump.
Oh, that's a good hat.
That is a good hat, oh.

Speaker 11 (01:22:10):
Congrats on Rookie of the year.

Speaker 14 (01:22:12):
You went by Yama looking piece of shit.

Speaker 13 (01:22:20):
God damn sniper mailbox shot my head off.
Yeah, look at this standoffishpiece of shit.

Speaker 4 (01:22:37):
Standoffish?
All right, I won't give you ahug you, prick.

Speaker 5 (01:22:42):
I found my Halloween costume howdy, howdy, howdy you
wanna do a couple's costume?
I'll dress as a mailbox.
You can dress as that guyyou'll meet daily, that's how
you know who your true friendsare.

Speaker 2 (01:23:01):
It's true somebody's sit down here what's it smell?

Speaker 8 (01:23:08):
like I can smell your nappy pussy.

Speaker 3 (01:23:12):
What does it smell like?

Speaker 2 (01:23:21):
I can smell your nappy pussy.
What is that from?
What is that?
It's a movie on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
Yes it is what movie?

Speaker 3 (01:23:31):
That whole thing's been going around for I can
smell your nappy pussy.

Speaker 4 (01:23:34):

Speaker 5 (01:23:38):
I think you promised, please tell me.
I think you promised, I'll tellyou.

Speaker 4 (01:23:44):
I'm like, okay, what, what'sthe matter?

Speaker 7 (01:23:49):
I'm going to tell you tomorrow.

Speaker 5 (01:23:53):
Whether it's true or not, I'm going to tell you
anyway.

Speaker 4 (01:23:57):
I can smell your nappy pussy?
I hope not.
Oh my God, I'm on a datetonight.

Speaker 6 (01:24:06):
This is the worst thing I've ever heard Her teeth.

Speaker 5 (01:24:10):
This is the worst thing I've ever heard Teeth I
can smell.
You're not being pussy.

Speaker 2 (01:24:12):
You know who that is?
No.

Speaker 5 (01:24:13):
Is it Tilda Swinton?

Speaker 2 (01:24:14):
No, that's Glenn Close.

Speaker 5 (01:24:16):
Back it up.
Back it up what?

Speaker 8 (01:24:18):
movie is this.
I think I've seen it.
I need to see this movie now.
It was like some.

Speaker 2 (01:24:22):
It is.
Glenn Close, I know I wasn'tlying, you might have been.

Speaker 5 (01:24:29):
Sit down air.
Sit down air.
We all know what that is too.

Speaker 11 (01:24:38):
I don't recognize that at all.

Speaker 4 (01:24:40):
I've never seen anything so good in my life.
Some vampire or something.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
It's like a possession.

Speaker 8 (01:24:46):
Like demon possession , that would be the devil.
You gotta keep watching.
Oh, hello, damn Possession.
Like demon possession, thatwould be the devil.

Speaker 17 (01:24:52):
You gotta keep watching.
Oh hello, Damn Freaky ass.

Speaker 5 (01:24:55):
Water bottle Freaky ass water bottle Only when you
do it right.

Speaker 4 (01:25:01):
Damn.

Speaker 16 (01:25:02):
Shit.
If we need illegal aliens to dothe jobs Americans won't do who
did all these jobs before wehad illegal aliens?

Speaker 5 (01:25:20):
Oh shit Tell me.

Speaker 9 (01:25:25):
With a pretty-ass mouth.

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
Oh God Damn, I can smell your nappy bushes.
Oh God Damn, I can smell yournappy pussy.

Speaker 9 (01:25:34):
Oh no.

Speaker 5 (01:25:34):
What.

Speaker 4 (01:25:37):
Uh-uh, oh my God, why do you?

Speaker 5 (01:25:40):
have so many holes in your face, aw so.

Speaker 11 (01:25:44):
I can't smell your nappy pussy.

Speaker 17 (01:25:49):
What?
What are we doing this?
Why, why, why, why, why wegotta do this for uh I don't
understand.
I I do have questions.
I, I do real big.
I have a statement for I haveone big, big, big, big.
You, you put your spit in yournose.

Speaker 8 (01:26:10):
That's what he's worried about.

Speaker 17 (01:26:11):
Real big like that oh no, you put your spit in your
nose.
It's more, you reverse boogerate.
Instead of putting your boogerin your mouth, you put your
mouth in your booger and thenyou meowed at the end and meowed
at the end.
You're not a cat he meowed.

Speaker 3 (01:26:29):
Yeah, he went meow.

Speaker 17 (01:26:29):
You're at the end and me out at the end.
Not a cat.
Yeah, you're not a cat.

Speaker 8 (01:26:31):
You're not a cat I well, if you would turn him into
a sound too.
Not at all oh, no, casey meow,oh no, casey meow.

Speaker 9 (01:26:49):
What, what, what are we doing?

Speaker 17 (01:26:53):
What are we doing?

Speaker 9 (01:26:55):
What are we?

Speaker 4 (01:26:56):
doing.

Speaker 17 (01:26:58):
I don't understand Reverse book right.
I have a statement.
I have a statement.
You put your spit in your noseReal big like that.
You put your spit in your nose.
Reverse booger ate.
Reverse booger ate.

(01:27:19):
Instead of putting your boogerin your mouth, you put your
mouth in your booger and thenyou meowed at the end.

Speaker 2 (01:27:27):
I'll take that root beer.

Speaker 17 (01:27:28):
I'll take that root beer.
You're not a cat.
You're not a cat, you're not abear, but you're not a cat, not
at all, not, not not one secondthat's tall.

Speaker 5 (01:27:35):
No, not one little bit what is he most upset about?

Speaker 2 (01:27:39):
uh, reverse boogery yeah reverse boogering yeah.
I never seen it.

Speaker 8 (01:27:47):
Oh, my God, oh my God , uh-oh, there's shit in there.
Oh no, you're gonna pluck it.
Take a picture, take a picture.

Speaker 12 (01:28:14):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
Uh-oh, get your pick on, get your pick on that was us
last saturday.

Speaker 8 (01:28:23):
Oh my god, it's been a week well, there's a reason
for that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:29):
Bleeds leave.
Oh my God, you're not supposedto tell people.

Speaker 5 (01:28:34):
Bleeds leave.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
Oh God, bleeds leave, okay so.

Speaker 8 (01:28:38):
Did she say, bleeds leave?
I said bleeds leave.

Speaker 2 (01:28:40):
I said bleeds leave.
I came up with that Because Ifeel like there should be a
separate leave category forwomen so they can take off work.

Speaker 8 (01:28:50):
Oh, I love that idea.
Bleeds leave separate leavecategory for women so they can
take off work.
Oh, I love that idea.
Bleeds leave, bleed leave.
Oh, aunt Flo was in town,that's not a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
But here's what I'm going to say about this video
real quick before I unpause it.
And I know, these are gorillas,they're not monkeys, thank you.
But the people that say mandidn't evolve from monkeys and I
know again, these are notmonkeys Watch this gorilla.

Speaker 5 (01:29:17):
Can we just say primates?

Speaker 2 (01:29:19):
Just watch this gorilla.
Just keep your eye on him,watch what he does.

Speaker 5 (01:29:26):
The humper.

Speaker 2 (01:29:27):
No, the one against the glass, the jack-o'-lantern
Now watch what he does.

Speaker 5 (01:29:43):
the humper, no, the one against the glass he's
holding her face, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:29:46):
Yeah.
He's like, no, you get a littlecloser, he's a little cuck,
look at it.
He's like, yeah, you're aboutto get a facial.

Speaker 5 (01:29:49):
Do that?
Is that a real thing that theydo, like often?

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
Put your face right here, mm-hmm, money shot.

Speaker 5 (01:29:57):
Don't watch kids.
Watch Is that a real thing thatgorillas do.
Look how she just lays thereand takes it girls.
Who are Bonobos?
Are those the ones that wearthe noses?
No, who are the bonobos?

Speaker 8 (01:30:08):
They look like weird chimps, like human chimps.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
They look more human right.
The bonobo does.

Speaker 8 (01:30:14):
They have sex for pleasure.

Speaker 5 (01:30:15):
I need an image Google immediately.

Speaker 2 (01:30:19):
Well, you're going to do it later.
You're going to get it later.
Do it later.

Speaker 11 (01:30:22):
Is that what those were?

Speaker 8 (01:30:26):
They look like they're pleasuring.

Speaker 9 (01:30:27):
No, those gorillas do that too.

Speaker 11 (01:30:28):
They have sex for pleasure.
It's non-stop.

Speaker 5 (01:30:32):
I'm gonna Google it myself.

Speaker 2 (01:30:35):
You have a phone.
You have a computer in yourpocket.

Speaker 8 (01:30:42):
You what?

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
Oh my god, you're obsessed.
No man, this is a video righthere.
This is a public serviceannouncement for guys like me
and Tibby.

Speaker 5 (01:30:54):
I can miss them late yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:30:56):
You didn't know about them.

Speaker 18 (01:30:58):
No, hey, you guys ever been having your butt hurt,
what that okay.
That okay, I'm havinghemorrhoid too.
That's why I'm using propPropane edge and edge If your
butt hurts you're making yourbutt hurt and feeling better.
Short hair and butt stachPropane edge and edge.
If you cannot be sit down,propane edge and edge.

(01:31:20):
Propane edge and edge.
If it hurts to use the toilet,propane edge, and I'm not
getting butt hurt anymore.
Propanation H Butthurt butter.
Making your butt hurt andfeeling better, butt butter
making your butt hurt it's likeBunch of Totemus.

Speaker 2 (01:31:35):
Butthurt butter making your butt hurt.
Bunch of.
Totemus Butthurt butterPreparation H Preparation.

Speaker 11 (01:31:41):
H Preparation.

Speaker 5 (01:31:42):
H Preparation.
H Preparation.

Speaker 11 (01:31:44):
H.
Preparation H.

Speaker 18 (01:31:47):
Propanation H Pippin' itch and itch.
I gotta hear the last partagain Pippin' itch and itch.
And that's why now I'm notgetting butt hurt anymore.
Pippin' itch and itch, butthurt.
Butter making you butt hurt andfeeling better.

Speaker 5 (01:31:56):
Butt hurt and feeling better.
Bick, you have pulled so manygood things that need to be on
the soundboard Pippin' itch anditch, butt hurt and butter.
I'm not butt hurt buttholeanymore.

Speaker 8 (01:32:06):
Do you have hemorrhoids?

Speaker 5 (01:32:08):
Of course he has hemorrhoids.
He's had a hemorrhoidectomy.
What's that?
They cut it out.
Yes, they cut a hemorrhoid thatwas like the size of the tip of
his thumb.

Speaker 8 (01:32:18):
She looked at her thumb yeah, and then Isn't a
hemorrhoid, like when yourmuscle protrudes out your
butthole?
Or your butt protrudes out yourbooty hole you have a lot of
loose skin because you have alot of hemorrhoids.

Speaker 5 (01:32:31):
He has a loose butthole.
I do not have a loose butthole.
He has a loose butthole.

Speaker 8 (01:32:39):
Intestine Hernia, he has a lot of hernias and
butthole hernias.
Okay look.

Speaker 2 (01:32:45):
Hernias are not related to hemorrhoids.

Speaker 8 (01:32:47):
I think it's tissue protruding out of a weak area,
my butthole's not weak.
All of his insides want to beoutsides.

Speaker 2 (01:32:56):
My insides want to be outsides.

Speaker 5 (01:32:58):
Yeah, and when he had his hemorrhoidectomy this man?

Speaker 2 (01:33:02):
Oh, it's the worst Two things that.
I want to tell you.

Speaker 5 (01:33:04):
Hell.
No, I didn't touch his butthole.
You put cream on it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:07):
No, I didn't.
She used Proposition 8.
Who put?

Speaker 5 (01:33:10):
cream on the Proposition 8?
No, Three things now.
One I did not touch his weirdbooty hole.
Two why is it weird?
I tried.

Speaker 6 (01:33:19):
Why is it weird?
It's weird down there?

Speaker 5 (01:33:22):
Does it have a hole in it now?
Now we have tools, it has tools.

Speaker 2 (01:33:34):
Two, two, two.

Speaker 11 (01:33:34):
He used all every single one of my lush bath bombs
.
That's true.
Oh yeah, my booty hole everytime.

Speaker 2 (01:33:37):
Let me tell you that that first poop after a
hemorrhoid to me.
I know I had a baby dangerous,and so every time I would go
doo-doo, I'd go right into thebathtub throwing a bath bomb.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:33:54):
And just get hurt so bad I had gotten all of them.
Did you use your bougie ones?
He used my bougie ones that Igot for-.
Those are like $12 a piece.
Yes, I got them from Courtneyfor my birthday.
Cal, go on, take me away hetook all of them and used them
for his butthole baths.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
She never used them.

Speaker 5 (01:34:09):
That is false.
I had gotten them that yearNever used them.
No.

Speaker 2 (01:34:13):
So we had an ample supply.

Speaker 11 (01:34:15):
We did not have an ample, I mean, they did their
purpose.

Speaker 5 (01:34:19):
They were not ample.

Speaker 6 (01:34:20):
They healed your rhinus.

Speaker 5 (01:34:22):
And then three.
Third thing he was reallyworried that a stitch had busted
.
He laid on the bed.
What made you look, baby?
I had to baby pose knees to hisears, spread the cheeks and
said I need you to look and makesure I didn't bust a stitch.
I said I'm not looking at yourasshole, shane.

(01:34:44):
Do you even know what a bustedstitch would look like?
I would assume.
And I glanced and I saw nothingbut a butthole.
That felt like it should looknormal in my emotions, not
physically.
His butthole looked like anormal butthole that just had a
piece cut out of it like brownbeef.

(01:35:09):
He had a puzzle piece he had apuzzle piece butthole and I feel
like that was normal.
I don't know your poop goes out, he poops puzzle pieces now and
now he still has hemorrhoids,but thanks to the bidet it has

(01:35:31):
done great wonders.

Speaker 2 (01:35:33):
We constantly have it's not from pushing.

Speaker 5 (01:35:35):
We always have Tuck's .
What is that?
Tuck's butt wipes.

Speaker 2 (01:35:40):
Tuck's medicated pads .

Speaker 5 (01:35:43):
He had to wear During his recovery from his
hemorrhoidectomy.
He had some, some anal leak andhe's like I don't juice, not
really poop, just just juicejust booty juice he's like I
don't know what to do and I said, well, I guess they were

(01:36:06):
expressed constantly said Iguess you could use a pad like a
lady period pad.

Speaker 12 (01:36:11):
Put it in your butthole.

Speaker 5 (01:36:14):
He put a pad in your butthole.

Speaker 2 (01:36:16):
Poise pads.

Speaker 5 (01:36:17):
No, not poise, they were full-on.

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
Always pads with wings no that was the first, but
we went to the store and gotremember those thick-ass pads.

Speaker 5 (01:36:25):
They weren't poise, but we did get thick pads.

Speaker 2 (01:36:29):
And then, I got full on dependence.

Speaker 5 (01:36:31):
You depended, he did, he depended for a couple days.
And then shortly after that hewas like my butthole feels
really dry and I said yeah, itabsorbs moisture.

Speaker 2 (01:36:42):
It, absorbs it, absorbs it absorbs all the
moisture juices.

Speaker 11 (01:36:47):
It absorbs all the moisture.

Speaker 2 (01:36:49):
You gotta get your mouth really moist to say it.
It absorbs all the oystermoisture.

Speaker 11 (01:36:50):
Yeah, Tony, it absorbs.
You got to get your mouthreally moist to say it Absorb
all the moisture, oystermoisture, it absorbs all the
boys' moisties, don't you know.
And the butthurt butter.
I got a pee.
It makes your butthurt betterfrom the butthurt butter, the
butthurt butter makes yourbutthurt better.
Your butthurt butter Got to goto Kenosha different kind.

Speaker 5 (01:37:10):
The butthole butter.
Make the butthole better.
Your butt hurt better.

Speaker 11 (01:37:11):
Gotta go Kenosha the butthole butter make the
butthole better Can you pleasepause while I go pee pee.
No just go, I'm gonna keep itrolling.

Speaker 5 (01:37:17):
No don't keep it rolling.
I wanna see.

Speaker 2 (01:37:20):
No, I'm not gonna play, we're just.
This is why she was fired asco-host.

Speaker 8 (01:37:28):
How do you get such a much?
I get so many hemorrhoids.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
Actually, the one thing that will give you
hemorrhoids is sitting on thepot for too long, and that's
what I would do.
Thank God it wasn't frompushing I don't sit very long,
it was from just sitting on thepot.

Speaker 8 (01:37:48):
For fucking 30, 40 minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
Well, I mean, even before scrolling so much just
Can't empty, Just sitting there.

Speaker 8 (01:37:58):
No, I don't do that.
I hate sitting on the toilet.
I'm just like get it out.

Speaker 2 (01:38:02):
But the bidet is super, super helpful in not
causing, you know, hemorrhoids.

Speaker 8 (01:38:12):
I know you love talking about hemorrhoids yeah,
on a Friday night.

Speaker 11 (01:38:16):
Oh yeah, I love it, I've had the same surgery.
You have yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:38:21):
What's an old?

Speaker 2 (01:38:21):
guy's, we're butthole buddies.

Speaker 8 (01:38:23):
I'm an ass friend boy .
Is that an old guy thing?

Speaker 11 (01:38:26):
No, I mean.

Speaker 5 (01:38:27):
I wasn't old.

Speaker 8 (01:38:29):
Wait, what's going on ?
Hysterectomy had a buttholehysterectomy.

Speaker 11 (01:38:34):
I had a hysterectomy .

Speaker 2 (01:38:38):
I didn't even know she was in here.

Speaker 11 (01:38:40):
I stressed the erect part, you stressed erect, erect
me.

Speaker 4 (01:38:45):
You have an erective set.
What did you say?

Speaker 11 (01:38:51):
I went to get checked again too.
I had to get another one.

Speaker 4 (01:38:54):
A hemorrhoid.

Speaker 11 (01:38:55):
This year Ectomy?
No, no, I had anothercolonoscopy this year Was it all
good.
Yeah, they said I had morehemorrhoids.

Speaker 8 (01:39:04):
On your you don't know, you don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:39:07):
Sometimes, they're internal and you don't feel them
.
Yeah, they're internal and youdon't feel them.

Speaker 11 (01:39:10):
Yeah, they're internal.

Speaker 2 (01:39:11):
There can be internal and external.

Speaker 8 (01:39:14):
Okay, so here's your inside a butthole and there's
doo-doos coming out.

Speaker 2 (01:39:18):
Doo-doos.
A hemorrhoid is not doo-doos.
No, I know, but it's like.

Speaker 8 (01:39:23):
It's like a vein it's like a vein Ruby get out of
here.
It's gross.

Speaker 11 (01:39:29):
It's a capillary that gets rough.
He has hemorrhoids right now.

Speaker 2 (01:39:35):
What?
Who has hemorrhoids?

Speaker 5 (01:39:37):
now.

Speaker 2 (01:39:38):
Both of us probably do?

Speaker 5 (01:39:40):
What are internal hemorrhoids?
What are they doing?
I bet it's because you don'thave gay sex probably.

Speaker 11 (01:39:46):
I had seven hemorrhoids removed.

Speaker 12 (01:39:48):
Seven, what At one time?

Speaker 8 (01:39:51):
yeah, do you hold in farts or something?
Jesus christ, no.
What causes hemorrhoids?

Speaker 11 (01:39:56):
I just said, sitting on the toilet for too long just
being athletic and stuff all itguys have hemorrhoids maybe.
Maybe that doesn't help askfriend boy.

Speaker 5 (01:40:08):
If he has hemorrhoids right now, text him, ask him do
you have hemorrhoids?
Maybe hey ask Friend Boy if hehas hemorrhoids Right now, text
him, ask him Do you havehemorrhoids?
It's for the podcast Research.
Immediate answer required.
I keep trying to take a drinkof this.
Let me put that in the tree.
Oh, did I hurt your hemorrhoids?
You're on my shoulder.

Speaker 8 (01:40:24):
Oh my god, your butthole and your shoulder.
Do you need?

Speaker 2 (01:40:28):
preparation shoulder.

Speaker 6 (01:40:30):
Yeah, do you need pepper-ish?
No, my preparation-ish.

Speaker 9 (01:40:34):
What's a good thing about being old.

Speaker 8 (01:40:36):
What's a good thing I did have polyps though, or just
401k or something.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
You're older than me.
Yeah what, I have a good littleretirement nest egg kind of
going.

Speaker 8 (01:40:47):
What's good about being old?
Because you have hemorrhoids?
You have.
What did you?

Speaker 5 (01:40:50):
say Impingement in his shoulder.
A lot of times I say shit anddon't care anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:40:58):
I don't think that's age?

Speaker 8 (01:40:59):
I think that's asshole.
No, I think that's age.
No, that's.
Old men are rude but I don'ttry to be rude to people.

Speaker 5 (01:41:06):
Yeah.
Jeff did call me a bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:41:09):
Not that I'm rude to people, but you have no
tolerance.
I like calling out people thatare being rude to like servers.

Speaker 8 (01:41:16):
Yeah, you don't care about being polite.

Speaker 5 (01:41:20):
Is Friend Boy, polite , like to wait staff and stuff.

Speaker 8 (01:41:23):
Do you know what he does to homeless people?

Speaker 9 (01:41:26):
Homeless, homeless.

Speaker 4 (01:41:32):
He gives them a joint and money and like a piece of
gum.
What a nice guy.

Speaker 5 (01:41:35):
Like a little package I'm like can he give me that
for my for christmas?

Speaker 8 (01:41:40):
I wouldn't be mad at all.

Speaker 5 (01:41:42):
Like a joint in their life when they're like a joint
and gum.
I'd be so happy there's like a$10 bill and a joint and gum
they're like, is that?

Speaker 4 (01:41:50):
not the nicest thing you've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (01:41:53):
Tell him to do some Tic Tacs.
Better be good weed, maybeMentos.
It is good weed, mentos.

Speaker 4 (01:41:58):
Freshness, freshness, ta-da Fresh, fresh, fresh,
fresh, fresh.

Speaker 5 (01:42:04):
Fresh, Fresh Santos commercials I do too.

Speaker 9 (01:42:07):
Let's make some.

Speaker 5 (01:42:08):
The.

Speaker 2 (01:42:09):
Freshmaker.

Speaker 5 (01:42:10):
The Freshmaker.

Speaker 2 (01:42:11):
We'll do like some homeless ones.

Speaker 8 (01:42:12):
Because you know you like suck up, and then somebody
looks at you and you're like, ah, wait, wait wait.

Speaker 2 (01:42:16):
Wait, wait, wait.
They're houseless individuals.

Speaker 5 (01:42:19):
Homeless?
No, they're unhoused.

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
Well, I've also heard of houseless.

Speaker 11 (01:42:31):
Oh.
I haven't got no job.
You ain't got no home.
Where's your tent?

Speaker 5 (01:42:39):
Oh, is that wrong bips guy?
He's so hairy.
I love massive wrong bips guy.

Speaker 2 (01:42:49):
This is me and Tippi and Red Ripper.

Speaker 8 (01:42:57):
Oh my god, who's who my best?

Speaker 4 (01:43:00):
friend, we're the same who's who.

Speaker 9 (01:43:06):
I go one block, then we switch and we, you know, go
another block.
A white ball flips in.
She's like I, we go anotherblock.

Speaker 2 (01:43:10):
I wipe off my chin.

Speaker 1 (01:43:10):
She's like I want to ride now I wipe off my chin and
then switch.

Speaker 4 (01:43:16):
Oh, that's really sweet here.

Speaker 11 (01:43:18):
I go.

Speaker 7 (01:43:19):
I feel so alone.
That's a goat, you goat fuckingmotherfucker hey look, that dog
is fucking a goat.

Speaker 2 (01:43:27):
That's a guardian dog and he's like you're earning my
guardianship right here bitch.

Speaker 11 (01:43:33):
That's a female dog too.
Get it.
That's the kind of dog thatwhiskey is my dog.

Speaker 5 (01:43:43):
That's a great Pyrenees.
That's where the devil comesfrom.

Speaker 3 (01:43:46):
Girl fuck that hump too.

Speaker 8 (01:43:48):
I'm gonna turkey gobble that motherfucker.

Speaker 5 (01:43:57):
I bet she was in an rv park, do you?
Is that what you want?

Speaker 2 (01:44:02):
it's just a funny noise I'm gonna turkey.

Speaker 8 (01:44:07):
gobble that motherfucker With no teeth.

Speaker 5 (01:44:10):
Oh my God, when she bends over the wrinkles from her
arms, go onto her hands, oh,yeah, oh gobble, gobble gobble.
This starts good here.
Oh, no, I bet.
She has three teeth.

Speaker 2 (01:44:25):
This looks like an upstanding citizen right here.

Speaker 7 (01:44:30):
This is for Jasper County Sheriff's Department in
Carthage, missouri.
You toenail-eatingmotherfuckers, fuck you.
Fuck you.
You fucking lousy failures.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, toenail-eatingmotherfuckers.

Speaker 5 (01:44:47):
Toenail-eating motherfuckers.

Speaker 9 (01:44:49):
I love that I want to turn that into a sticker.
I love that.

Speaker 5 (01:44:51):
I want to turn that into a sticker.

Speaker 8 (01:44:52):
All right, toenail-eating, motherfuckers

Speaker 13 (01:44:55):
Oh no, no, no, no.
These scary Can this up Can itkeep coming out.

Speaker 3 (01:45:01):
We need very very.

Speaker 5 (01:45:02):
Oh, I want to get this done, oh my.

Speaker 8 (01:45:04):
God, I tried, it didn't do shit.
Really yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:08):
I did it a long time ago.
What is this?
No, her In this candle shit.
Okay, let me tell you, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:45:20):
It's a candle, it's a candle.

Speaker 8 (01:45:22):
Look, you can't use your back and body like a candle
, god damn it.

Speaker 2 (01:45:26):
I would look at her butthole for hemorrhoids before
watching her lay sideways on thecouch and like, hey, hold this
candle in my ear so it can suckout the wax you want to talk
about the weirdest Asianmedicine man thing going on in

(01:45:53):
the fucking living room.
I was like, hey, you want me toget you a horn so you can hear
better, you know.

Speaker 11 (01:46:06):
I only burned half of it.
You want the rest?

Speaker 8 (01:46:09):
Eastern medicine?
I've done it.
You want the rest Easternmedicine?
I've done it.
It didn't do anything.

Speaker 5 (01:46:13):
Oh, mine would.
I wish it would.

Speaker 2 (01:46:15):
She probably didn't have anything in there.
You probably didn't go deep.

Speaker 9 (01:46:19):
Well then, I found out that I have eczema in my ear
canal.
Oh my.

Speaker 7 (01:46:24):
God, can you hear that thing's growing legs?

Speaker 8 (01:46:30):
It's growing legs.
Can she hear that thing's?

Speaker 5 (01:46:33):
growing legs, it's growing legs, can you hear?
He's not even done.

Speaker 9 (01:46:36):
Oh my.

Speaker 5 (01:46:36):
God, Wait, there's more.
Oh yeah, oh my.

Speaker 2 (01:46:39):
God, is that like a Like they're sucking brain out
at this point?
Can you turn the volume down?

Speaker 4 (01:46:45):
What are those called A snake?

Speaker 2 (01:46:49):
Huh Like a snake.
Like a Roto-Rooter yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:46:55):
Jesus.

Speaker 5 (01:47:01):
That's like her whole life 65 years, bitch, you never
used a.

Speaker 2 (01:47:06):
Q-tip, right?
No, that's probably because shewas shoving the wax back in
with a Q-tip.
I got none.
That's the thing You're notsupposed to a Q-tip, right?
No, that's probably because shewas shoving the wax back in.
I got none.
That's the thing You're notsupposed to use Q-tips.

Speaker 5 (01:47:15):
I use Q-tips every day, but I don't go in-in.

Speaker 2 (01:47:19):
I use a Q-tip right after a hot shower because the
wax is kind of warmed up, yeah,and I just get in there just a
little bit.

Speaker 5 (01:47:31):
But I get right into the base of the canal to itch
the eczema, did you just saycanal.
I just realized how old I sound.
I think I just went to thefucking room.
I got eczema in my ear canal.

Speaker 11 (01:47:42):
I have one of the scoopers at my desk.

Speaker 5 (01:47:44):
I got medicated drops and she had a little weird
teacup with a candle coming outI didn't have a teacup, I just
had a candle plate.
Can you light it?
I did have them light it,though I laid on the love seat
and said will you light thecandle for my ear please?

Speaker 2 (01:48:06):
please oh wow, oh wow , oh my god, when the doctor
goes, oh wow, yeah I want.

Speaker 5 (01:48:15):
That's I want to do that I want to get my earwax
because I feel like that'swhat's happening, but I'm sure
it's not.
I just have itchy ears.
It's like a fucking dog itchingmy ears the time.
You hate people.
Where did that come from?
People are so gross.
Yeah, is that all right?
Monkeys and guinea pigs allright.
Are we ready?

(01:48:36):
Apes?

Speaker 8 (01:48:37):
and getting ready doing monkeys apes, I have
monkeys, monkeys I went to theliquor store today and a lady
had a monkey in there.
She brought it in.

Speaker 2 (01:48:44):
I have a picture yeah , there's like like different
regulations some states did yougive own a monkey?
I did.

Speaker 8 (01:48:51):
I said that's a motherfucking monkey, Some guy
walks in and goes what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:48:56):
I know you're a monkey, I need to give you a
shot.
Why did she have a?

Speaker 5 (01:48:58):
monkey.

Speaker 8 (01:48:59):
Can you have pet monkeys in?

Speaker 5 (01:49:01):
Oklahoma, I think so.

Speaker 8 (01:49:02):
I don't think you can have apes, but you can have
monkeys.

Speaker 5 (01:49:05):
I'm sorry.
Can you educate the populace onthe difference between an ape
and a monkey?

Speaker 8 (01:49:09):
Fend over and I'll show you.

Speaker 2 (01:49:12):
An ape.
Just put them in an enclosure.

Speaker 8 (01:49:16):
They'll find out.
An ape is a gorilla, a bonobo,an orangutan and a chimpanzee
Without tails.
They typically don't have tails.

Speaker 3 (01:49:26):
And then a monkey has tails Like humans.

Speaker 5 (01:49:30):
So evolutionarily Non-human primates Are monkeys
primates.

Speaker 8 (01:49:37):
Yeah, they're non-human primates.

Speaker 5 (01:49:40):
Apes are Non-human primates, then how are they
different?
Because they don't have tails.
Who doesn't?
And they're smart.
The apes don't have tails.

Speaker 2 (01:49:49):
Apes are smart and don't have tails.
And they don't have tails.
Who doesn't?
And they're smart, the apesdon't have tails.

Speaker 5 (01:49:51):
The apes are smart and don't have tails, and they
don't have tails.
So are you saying that monkeysare dumb, fucking racist?

Speaker 2 (01:49:59):
No, they can be trained.

Speaker 5 (01:50:01):
Well, yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:50:05):
Bill, I'm a trained guy.

Speaker 4 (01:50:08):
My strong can be trained.
Hey, let me tell you aboutmonkeys.

Speaker 8 (01:50:13):
So here's an example, thank you.
So if you give a mirror to anape, they recognize themselves.
If you give a mirror to amonkey, they think it's a
different monkey.

Speaker 6 (01:50:20):
And they're like, ah, and they attack it.

Speaker 8 (01:50:23):
Ah, ah.
Who the fuck is that?
An ape's?

Speaker 5 (01:50:26):
like Look at me.

Speaker 4 (01:50:31):
I'm so pretty.
Look at my hemorrhoid.
Yeah, can I see my tail Moreadvanced?

Speaker 5 (01:50:33):
Do they diddle themselves in front of a mirror?
Who Apes?
Apes?

Speaker 8 (01:50:37):
Probably because the monkeys jack off all the time,
all day.
Who does the monkeys at work?

Speaker 11 (01:50:42):
Yeah, Teenage boys.
They jack off all the time.
They're little Tom Jackerymotherfuckers and they do it
like this.

Speaker 8 (01:50:50):
And they squeeze the tip really tight.
I was like stop.
That's what Shane likes Ew, ohmy God, oh my God, that's how
Shane likes it.

Speaker 5 (01:50:58):
Oh my God.
No, I'm going to tell you moreabout it.

Speaker 11 (01:51:00):
Pinch the tip, pinch the tip.
Pinch it Just move on, squeezeit tight, all right, wait do you
.

Speaker 5 (01:51:06):
Wait, no Wait, wait.
Married men, that's you two.

Speaker 11 (01:51:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:51:10):
Do you masturbate?
Yes, Sometimes, All guysmasturbate.
Come on, shane doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:51:15):
I don't think.
Well, I had to for the.

Speaker 5 (01:51:18):
When we were doing fertility training.

Speaker 2 (01:51:20):
Yeah, that was.

Speaker 11 (01:51:21):
I try not to.
I like to make an impression.

Speaker 5 (01:51:24):
On your wife of how many years 20?
I don't know no, every guymasturbates no, when I met shane
he said I don't really, I don't, I don't look at porn, I don't
really masturbate, don't touchyour dick.
Oh yeah I touch it when hewashes it.

Speaker 2 (01:51:43):
But like he doesn't play with it move on.

Speaker 5 (01:51:45):
Yeah, no, we can't move on.
This is your brother and youneed to understand how his
wiener works.

Speaker 2 (01:51:48):
Whoa yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 7 (01:51:57):
Perfect timing, though Not doing that.
Good morning, julia.

Speaker 11 (01:52:02):
Julia, I need a release Julia, here we go.

Speaker 2 (01:52:07):
Did you say that oh no, here we go.
Did you say that oh no.

Speaker 5 (01:52:12):
Immediately hard pass .

Speaker 4 (01:52:15):
What In a long time?
Krispy Kreme, is it Krispy?
Ah, you didn't say the name.
Hi, I'm so upset.

Speaker 2 (01:52:30):
No, ah yeah, your granddaughter's right behind you
.
Dude, your granddaughter.

Speaker 11 (01:52:39):
You see how he eats donuts, michael, there's a
progressive poster in the backof the.

Speaker 2 (01:52:44):
Michael, calm down, michael, you got a long jaw and
dirty nails Fucking gross.
Ew, you got long, johns anddirty nails Fucking gross.
Ew, I hate that.
I hate that more than anything.
That's chocolate.
Oh, get a taste.

Speaker 5 (01:53:04):
That's him having a heart attack.
That's a kink for somebody.

Speaker 4 (01:53:13):
That was the whale.

Speaker 5 (01:53:14):
Ugh.

Speaker 6 (01:53:16):
Oh, look at the dance moves, those jeans he can
jackhammer, oh he can.

Speaker 11 (01:53:23):
He's missing a couple ribs.
He had to lower ribs for movesso he could do that.

Speaker 5 (01:53:29):
Look at the zippers on his jeans.
That's how you know he's hip.
Oh no, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-ohskinny jeans.

Speaker 8 (01:53:35):
Can you imagine if you walked in on your dad doing
that?

Speaker 2 (01:53:38):
First of all, I have two.

Speaker 11 (01:53:44):
Well, go ahead.
You walked in on your dad doingthat, no.

Speaker 8 (01:53:48):
Dancing.

Speaker 2 (01:53:49):
Our dad can't move like that, only when he's
stumbling and it's not that likeDrop foot.

Speaker 11 (01:53:55):
No, but I have that flexi.

Speaker 2 (01:53:58):
I have two things that I would like to make, or
suggest that they be laws Indeed.
One of them is I feel like Ican see his bowl.
If you are over the age of 28and or you don't participate in
extreme sports, you don't get towear flat bill hats.

(01:54:19):
That's number one, that's good.
Number two if you're over theage of I'll say 32, I might go
35.
Over the age of 35, no morefucking skinny jeans.
Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:54:39):
For everybody.
I mean look how this looks,Look at this muffin top
motherfucker Do you mean likemen and women.

Speaker 2 (01:54:45):
No men.

Speaker 5 (01:54:47):
Can you please clarify that?
Restate with clarification.

Speaker 2 (01:54:51):
These are rules, regulations, laws for men Over
28, and.
Or don't compete, stop it.
No, or you don't compete, huh.

Speaker 5 (01:55:09):
How do y'all not pee?

Speaker 2 (01:55:10):
Not pee I already peed.
I just don't need to pee.

Speaker 11 (01:55:14):
Bad kidneys.
My bladder's bigger than a12-year-old's, so here's what I
said.

Speaker 2 (01:55:18):
I'm a baby.
Here's my laws for the malepopulation Laws yes, I haven't
drank any water If you are overthe age of 28 and or you don't
play or participate in anextreme sport.

Speaker 5 (01:55:35):
I thought you said over the age of 35.

Speaker 2 (01:55:37):
Will you stop?

Speaker 5 (01:55:39):
No, I'm just restating what you said.
I'm not following, don't youmute my mic.

Speaker 4 (01:55:45):
You dick.

Speaker 2 (01:55:46):
I said first, you said Fist.

Speaker 8 (01:55:50):
Fisting.

Speaker 2 (01:55:50):
I'm going to mute your mic again.
Listen here asshole If you'reover the age of 28.
Admiralty, asshole.
And you don't participate inextreme sports like the X Games
or something.
You can't wear a flat bill hat.
That's rule number one that Isaid.
Oh, okay, agreed, thank you,okay.
Number two Don't be an assholeIf you're over the age of 35, no

(01:56:14):
more skinny jeans.

Speaker 8 (01:56:16):
I agree.

Speaker 5 (01:56:18):
For men.

Speaker 8 (01:56:18):
What are we doing?
Well, men yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:56:20):
Women can wear skinny jeans forever.
We can do every what Right?
What's their type of these?
Oh, zipper jeans too.
Are those K-Swiss shoes?
I think they are.
Oh, he's got a little.

Speaker 7 (01:56:33):
Corvette in the garage.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Thanks, he'sso hot.
He's got a breath right now.
He's a big kid.
It's a club that he goes to.
He's Ruby's girls Ask.

Speaker 5 (01:56:46):
Ruby's girls?
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:56:50):
Old guys don't really do this.
I'm going to, I think it'scalled the wreck.

Speaker 11 (01:56:52):
He roofies girls at roofies Girls.
I'm going to disagree with thegirls.

Speaker 5 (01:56:54):
I bet he's not as old as we think he is.

Speaker 2 (01:56:58):
I bet he's not wrecking any girls, you're right
.

Speaker 5 (01:57:03):
He's probably 34.

Speaker 16 (01:57:06):
He graduated in 20.
My name is Smithers O'Neal andI like big booty bitches.
Oh oh, graduated in 20.
My name is Smithers O'Neal andI like big booty bitches.

Speaker 4 (01:57:10):
Oh, oh, I need that all over again.

Speaker 5 (01:57:16):
Nope, go back.
I want that all over again.

Speaker 8 (01:57:21):
Oh, God oh.

Speaker 11 (01:57:24):
Don't yell at me.

Speaker 8 (01:57:25):
Smithers.

Speaker 16 (01:57:26):
My name is Smithers O'Neal and I like big booty
bitches.
Yeah, oh my.

Speaker 4 (01:57:32):
God, mm-hmm, big booty bitches, mm-hmm, your hair
is hollow gold.
Oh yeah, your lips sweet spots.
Yeah, mm-hmm.

Speaker 12 (01:57:45):
Her hands are never cold.

Speaker 5 (01:57:47):
Mm-hmm, she's got better days better always with
the tongue no, welcome to myboardroom I love teeth guy
mustache rides yes, welcome tomy boardroom, let's go.

Speaker 14 (01:58:12):
Chad, from Chad Nation, just out here hanging at
the mall food court.
Okay, pause, this is where Igrind, pause.
Okay, this is where I meet allthe At that food court Food
court.

Speaker 2 (01:58:26):
You made me pause for that, for the mall.

Speaker 5 (01:58:28):
Hey, listen, don't be a dick to your wife.

Speaker 4 (01:58:35):
You fucking ass, are they?

Speaker 14 (01:58:37):
fighting Cracks me up Look my.
Ces.
Okay, never eat alone, right?
Okay, have a meal.
Close the deal.
He's sad.
Okay, let's do this thing.
I'll be out here about 30 moreminutes or so.
So, coming out here, I want toget you on that auto ship.
Okay, because I'm not out here?
Because I'm hungry for theChinese buffet?
No, friend, no.

(01:59:00):
No bourbon chicken for him.
I'm out here because I'm hungryfor another pay day and I think
that you are too Okay, you feelme.
I'm not out here just to breakbread.
I'm here to make some bread,you feel me.
So let's cool, rise and GrindRise and Grind.

Speaker 5 (01:59:18):
I love him Rise and Grind no.

Speaker 7 (01:59:22):
Put some music.
Baby, lock the door and turnthe lights down low.

Speaker 4 (01:59:29):
Put some music on.
It's soft and slow.
I'm uncomfortable.

Speaker 7 (01:59:34):
Baby, we ain't got no place to go.
Did that take a?

Speaker 2 (01:59:38):
picture.
A picture or a video?
How do I make this a video?

Speaker 5 (01:59:46):
I catch you staring at me in the club.

Speaker 4 (01:59:51):
Oh, now you got it, is this Hunter?

Speaker 2 (01:59:57):
I think it is.
Is this Hunter in the bathroomgetting ready for work?

Speaker 5 (02:00:02):
Oh yeah, when I was in my 20s and a guy when I was
in my 20s, and if a guy dancedlike that at the club, I'd be
like yep, yeah, moist oystermoisture oyster for sure he's

(02:00:23):
pretty good.
Actually, this one's all rightyeah look at his jeans man,
highlighting what needs to behighlighted His airbrushed
t-shirt it's a star.

Speaker 2 (02:00:34):
Thank you, star of the show.
Star of the show.

Speaker 5 (02:00:43):
Go boy go, Look at those horses Ride, pony ride.

Speaker 15 (02:00:57):
Whoa See ya bitch 100%.
See ya bitch who's horses ridepony ride whoa 100 share bitch,
I've been all over that if wedate, just know that I'm a
psychopath, rainbow bright, butI'll never hurt you, I'll never
lay a hand on you but, if youcan't accept that I'm a
psychopath because of my pain.

Speaker 9 (02:01:11):
I'm sorry you're wearing a fucking nautica shirt
let's let's dissect this imageright here.

Speaker 8 (02:01:23):
I don't even know.
He's in a bathroom.

Speaker 2 (02:01:25):
He has a mattress because I see a mattress.
Is that a pee jug?
Maybe I was just trying tofigure it out or is it bubble
bath.
No, that's a pee jug.

Speaker 5 (02:01:36):
It could be orange juice.
I think it's bubble bath.

Speaker 2 (02:01:40):
Bubble bath in a one-gallon container.
Member's mark Sunny delightbottle.

Speaker 5 (02:01:50):
It's Kirkland's, he's got Costco.

Speaker 2 (02:01:54):
Also, ladies, ladies, the first thing you need to
look at look at the bed.

Speaker 5 (02:02:03):
Not made, no, not even that.

Speaker 11 (02:02:06):
The back spring doesn't have a cover on it.

Speaker 5 (02:02:09):
He's got no bed skirt or nothing.

Speaker 11 (02:02:11):
You ain't even got a bed skirt.

Speaker 2 (02:02:14):
The blankets just piled up in the middle of the
bed there's probably a bodythere.
That's his roommate sleeping.

Speaker 11 (02:02:23):
It looks like what.

Speaker 2 (02:02:25):
It looks like your bed Gross.
That's how close her bathtub isto her bed too it is.

Speaker 6 (02:02:33):
I bet that bathroom has carpet in it.

Speaker 2 (02:02:35):
It does.

Speaker 5 (02:02:37):
What else is on the left there?

Speaker 2 (02:02:39):
I see a bottle A candle.
I see a bottle of meat marinade.

Speaker 6 (02:02:44):
Is that Chianti?

Speaker 11 (02:02:46):
I think it's a bath bomb from Courtney.

Speaker 2 (02:02:50):
There's a lush bath.
No, that's a bath bomb fromCourtney.

Speaker 11 (02:02:51):
There's a lush bath.

Speaker 2 (02:02:52):
No, that's a white onion right there, maybe a
yellow onion.
It's an onion For body steam, asea salt caramel candle, I
think I see a bottle of meat,marinade, chianti and a bottle
to pee in.
I don't know.

Speaker 11 (02:03:11):
I'm pretty sure he hasn't stepped out of that
bathtub in seven weeks.

Speaker 8 (02:03:14):
And what's behind him ?
What's he holding on to in hispocket?

Speaker 16 (02:03:18):
The black wall.

Speaker 5 (02:03:20):
His tiny penis.

Speaker 2 (02:03:21):
It doesn't look like those shorts should even have
pockets.
But what's behind?

Speaker 8 (02:03:26):
him.
Those are camera cutoffs, man.

Speaker 2 (02:03:28):
What's behind him?

Speaker 4 (02:03:29):
That's a wall.

Speaker 2 (02:03:30):
The wall.
No, that is not a.
That looks like A temporarywall.

Speaker 5 (02:03:34):
He's leaning on it?
I don't think he is.
Yes, he's leaning on the wallin his flat.

Speaker 2 (02:03:40):
I don't think it's a wall.

Speaker 5 (02:03:42):
What is a studio that is?
I don't know who do you For a?
Thank you for a new drink.

Speaker 2 (02:03:47):
Is that what that says?
This is a dungeon.
I think I don't know.
Cacau, Cacau.

Speaker 4 (02:03:52):
I don't want a toy.

Speaker 2 (02:03:58):
All right, here we go .

Speaker 5 (02:03:59):
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm so busy right now, so busy.

Speaker 11 (02:04:12):
Busy.

Speaker 5 (02:04:13):
Will you give that to her?

Speaker 8 (02:04:15):
Yes, oh God, are you wearing Birkenstocks?

Speaker 2 (02:04:17):
Oh, no, I'm okay.

Speaker 8 (02:04:18):
Loser?
Yes, he always wearsBirkenstocks.
Are you wearing Birkenstocks?
He wore them last time he washere, yeah.
Yeah, he has a nose piercing.

Speaker 5 (02:04:26):
Well, I know he has a nose piercing.
He and his wife have matchingnose.
I think I put a couple what yougo on you, sorry.
Okay, can you restart our romeo?
Not, not a romeo placemarshalls marshalls marshalls

Speaker 15 (02:04:43):
we gotta start at marshalls if we date.
No, just know that I'm apsychopath, oh.

Speaker 5 (02:04:49):
God Okay.

Speaker 15 (02:04:50):
But I'll never hurt you.

Speaker 3 (02:04:51):
Lies.

Speaker 15 (02:04:52):
I'll never lay a hand on you.
You will, but if you can'taccept that I'm a psychopath
because of my pain, then you'llprobably break up with me.
Okay, I know for a fact.
That's why all of myrelationships have ended.
I don't think that's it Plus, Ididn't have good communication
skills when I was younger, so ifyou don't have good

(02:05:15):
communication skills, you canget tense when there's a
disagreement and when you gettense you're in more pain when
you're in more pain, you turninto a psychopath.

Speaker 2 (02:05:26):
Believe me, I do.
Yeah, he's got a black eye Calmdown.

Speaker 11 (02:05:29):
Wait Pause, because his last girlfriend got away
wait, wait, the last captive gotaway does he, does he I think
she's under those sheets, doeshe?

Speaker 5 (02:05:40):
know the difference between a psychopath and a
sociopath definitely look atthis guy's room.

Speaker 2 (02:05:45):
Look at this guy.

Speaker 11 (02:05:46):
You think he knows much.
I don't see a nightstand, muchless a book.
Look at this guy.
He doesn't have a nightstand,so the books would be all over
the floor.

Speaker 6 (02:05:58):
What is up with this guy?

Speaker 11 (02:06:00):
Look at this guy, look at this guy Get a load of
this guy.

Speaker 5 (02:06:05):
Why is he giving me a Chinese toy?
Why is he giving me a Chinesetoy?

Speaker 15 (02:06:09):
Literally every single thing possible not to
become a psychopath, but I amone For sure.
And I know that that will never,change For sure, and if you
can't accept that, then we willnot work out.
So there's no point of evengetting in a relationship with
me.
Why is he wearing black socks?
And you also have to realizethat your parents, your family

(02:06:32):
members, everyone in your family, is going to have to accept
that I'm a psychopath too Notjust you, I mean.
They may not like it, but youmight have to remind them that
there's nothing I can do aboutit.

Speaker 5 (02:06:47):
Are you a psychopath because you have black walls?

Speaker 8 (02:06:50):
What makes you, oh no ?
It's time to use my peanuts.

Speaker 4 (02:06:55):
Pause Peanuts.

Speaker 2 (02:06:58):
Gosh, stop yelling Peanuts.
I'm the only one that yellsDon't steal my thunder, then be
better at it, ooh.

Speaker 8 (02:07:11):
Did she say peanuts?

Speaker 2 (02:07:12):
And that's the podcast.
See y'all everybody.

Speaker 8 (02:07:14):
Did he say peanuts or penis?
I don't know what he saidPeanuts so far.

Speaker 5 (02:07:19):
His hair looks like Hunter's right now.
Hunter's growing his hair out.
Have you seen it?
I have.
It's not okay, it's fluffy.
I don't like it, it's fluffy.

Speaker 2 (02:07:31):
Just gotta get out of the closing stage.
Yeah, awkward, Awkward man?

Speaker 5 (02:07:32):
No, he just needs to shave his head and show off the
age that he.
He can just show off the sides,I mean shave his head.

Speaker 2 (02:07:38):
Oh, just the sides Like me.

Speaker 4 (02:07:41):
Yeah, shave, no.
No, that's shaved in the middle.

Speaker 11 (02:07:46):
If.

Speaker 5 (02:07:46):
I let it grow out.
No, he needs to reverse you.

Speaker 11 (02:07:54):
Just like you, but Inverted, inverted, that's right
.

Speaker 5 (02:08:02):
It's time to use my Penis.

Speaker 14 (02:08:05):
You can't say penis right Penis.

Speaker 5 (02:08:09):
There's a T in there.

Speaker 2 (02:08:11):
All right, let's I guess let's see you use your
peanuts.

Speaker 3 (02:08:14):
What he?

Speaker 2 (02:08:14):
does.

Speaker 13 (02:08:18):
No, don't look away, look at me.
Oh, okay, look at me.

Speaker 4 (02:08:22):
Taylor and I are not looking.
I'm looking, no.

Speaker 8 (02:08:25):
Nothing happened.
I'm not doing it, don't lookaway.

Speaker 11 (02:08:29):
Oh, it's this sexy son of a bitch.

Speaker 8 (02:08:32):
Oh, he's back.
Someone's dad needs to stop, nodad Damn it.

Speaker 11 (02:08:37):
You're not getting laid, you're not getting your
dick sucked.

Speaker 2 (02:08:40):
Dick Brown Does this guy own?

Speaker 11 (02:08:46):
a shirt?
No, no, just a sweet tattoo.

Speaker 8 (02:08:49):
He thinks he's awesome tribal and he's fucking
hot that looks like a very freshtattoo.

Speaker 2 (02:08:54):
He got it yesterday I think this guy recently went
through a divorce.
He got it yesterday and he'slike you know what, I'm gonna
get that tribal tattooMotorcycle Fucking Susan.

Speaker 8 (02:09:06):
Susan wouldn't let me get ink Now.
I can but Debbie down thestreet.

Speaker 11 (02:09:11):
Never wearing sleeves again.

Speaker 5 (02:09:14):
He has orthopedic inserts in his boots.

Speaker 2 (02:09:17):
I bet he also knows the people with the pineapples
yeah he does Mustache, butnobody wants to?
Ah, I've been waiting for solong.

Speaker 11 (02:09:27):
Oh, that's Patrick Swayze, now recognizing those
are some nimble hips, thoughthose are pepperoni nipples.

Speaker 5 (02:09:31):
Wait, nimble hips.

Speaker 2 (02:09:34):
I noticed what you guys haven't yet.

Speaker 11 (02:09:37):
What?
His belly button?
His fucking belly button.

Speaker 5 (02:09:39):
Oh, his hernia belly button.

Speaker 11 (02:09:42):
His herniated button .

Speaker 2 (02:09:44):
His belly button looks like a prolapsed anus.
Well, it happens.

Speaker 9 (02:09:52):
Yeah, because he has a honey gun.

Speaker 6 (02:09:53):
What about, what a giant looks like?
Hello.

Speaker 16 (02:09:55):
Oh, he's got some tribal.
Is that a mortal combat?
I think so.

Speaker 4 (02:10:02):
I bet he fucks.
No, he doesn't For sure.

Speaker 8 (02:10:09):
I hate him like that.

Speaker 2 (02:10:11):
Can you imagine that belly, with that belly button on
your body?

Speaker 4 (02:10:16):
I'm just buying your belly button I'd stick my finger
in.
In whose belly?

Speaker 2 (02:10:27):
button In James, maybe mine.

Speaker 5 (02:10:29):
You would want to be sticking his finger in your
belly button.

Speaker 2 (02:10:34):
No, of course not I am already paused.
Never going to happen.

Speaker 5 (02:10:39):
Pause the whole conversation Never going to
happen.
Oh, my God you and I are goingto fucking fight right now.
I swear to fucking God she justwanted to put a hammer through
your head.

Speaker 8 (02:10:48):
I saw it.
I saw it.
She wanted to put a hammerthrough your head.
I saw it.
I saw it.

Speaker 5 (02:10:50):
She wanted to put a hammer through your head Marital
homicide happening rightfucking now.
No, I just want to tell a story, if that's fucking allowed.

Speaker 2 (02:11:03):
Oh my God, you're cussing right now.

Speaker 8 (02:11:09):
I farted early oh.

Speaker 2 (02:11:18):
I was trying to like be proactive with it.
That was bad timing bad timing.
I'm sorry, bad timing, I'msorry early.

Speaker 5 (02:11:32):
I am so f***ed Bad timing.
I'm sorry Bad timing.

Speaker 11 (02:11:35):
I'm sorry Early, I am so f***ed.

Speaker 2 (02:11:36):
Your mic's muted.
That was a mistake.

Speaker 8 (02:11:46):
Nope, no, we're fighting.

Speaker 5 (02:11:50):
This is a motherfucking trough you.
We're done I don't right nowknow what that means.

Speaker 8 (02:11:55):
A trough I have no idea what does that?

Speaker 2 (02:11:58):
mean, I'm eating trash eat my slop eat my slap ew
.

Speaker 5 (02:12:07):
One time early in our relationship I didn't realize
the trauma his belly button hadexperienced with prior hernia
repair surgeries.
I didn't know, and one time Ikept threatening I didn't even
do it, but it's threatening thatI'm gonna tickle your belly

(02:12:27):
button, I'm to put a finger inyour belly button.
He had a whole ass panic attackand cried and I felt so bad
yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:12:35):
I have a belly button man.

Speaker 2 (02:12:38):
It messed up the nerves of my belly button.
I can't even Like it hurts.
No, the nerves just activelyfire and it's just a weird.
I don't know, I can't explainit.
It's just a weird.

Speaker 8 (02:12:52):
I can't explain it.
It's weird Do you orgasm out ofyour belly button?

Speaker 2 (02:12:58):
If you rub my butthole right, that's right.

Speaker 9 (02:13:03):
That's right, work it out.

Speaker 2 (02:13:07):
Work it out.
This has been a scientificepisode.
You'll work it out, I out.
This has been a scientificepisode.

Speaker 5 (02:13:12):
You'll work it out.
Let's see.
I bet that happens to him.
Wait, can the new?
Can the new name, the updatedname of the episode, be
scientific?
Exploration yeah, yeah I can'twait to absolutely beat your ass
when we go to bed tonight.

Speaker 8 (02:13:31):
Oh, they're going to fight.

Speaker 5 (02:13:32):
No, not even in a sexy way.
Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 11 (02:13:36):
Getting a pound in your ass.
Damn, because you've beenabsolutely cool to me tonight
Karate fighting Karate.

Speaker 4 (02:13:44):
Remember you're the one thing, more is freshies.

Speaker 8 (02:13:49):
Thanks, Thanks, that's so fresh.

Speaker 2 (02:13:53):
Yeah, look at that freshie.
So I'll tell you something.

Speaker 4 (02:13:59):
This could be love, because I've had I could slow
most down.
Oh, I've never felt this waybefore I could slow most down oh
.

Speaker 8 (02:14:14):
I bet he does it.
I bet he does it oh my.
God.

Speaker 1 (02:14:18):
Oh, he's got a shirt.
What the fuck.
Why is it in Utah?
Oh, he did.

Speaker 2 (02:14:30):
Spucked next time at dance with me.

Speaker 8 (02:14:33):
If Frimbyte ever does this, I would break it Frimbyte
.

Speaker 12 (02:14:37):
Smiled so high, got up and asked for his name.

Speaker 9 (02:14:41):
Baby, baby, that don't matter, he said, cause
it's all the same.

Speaker 1 (02:14:47):
So can I take you home, where we can't be alone?

Speaker 6 (02:14:53):
It's just Mary Makes me move it on.

Speaker 8 (02:14:56):
Yeah, you got ring on that's what's right now?

Speaker 12 (02:14:59):
Is he a widower?
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:15:02):
Ah, it's him.

Speaker 9 (02:15:04):
It's the slur, it's the slur, it's the slur, it's
the slur, it's the slur, it'sthe slur, it's the slur it's.

Speaker 4 (02:15:17):
Oh, my Santa.
Oh no, he wanted that.

Speaker 11 (02:15:25):
That's why.
That's why I.

Speaker 9 (02:15:29):
That's why I added that guy in there because I saw
that video later and I was likeoh yeah this is bingo see, I bet
he is a good fucker thoughdonut hole because he's gay?

Speaker 5 (02:15:43):
probably not.
He knows how to put it in thebutt I don't want it in there
you don't want it in the butt.

Speaker 8 (02:15:49):
no, I don't want it in there.
You don't want it in the butt,no, you don't want anal.

Speaker 5 (02:15:54):
I feel like we had a discussion prior that
contradicts that statement.
Tolerate or we'll.
You don't want any butt.
Play Nothing.
Nothing in the butt, not in hisbutt In the butt.

Speaker 11 (02:16:10):
I understand whose butt hole.

Speaker 5 (02:16:10):
Nothing.
Nothing in the butt, not in hisbutt.

Speaker 8 (02:16:12):
I understand whose butthole it is.

Speaker 11 (02:16:16):
Hang on, is this mine or yours?

Speaker 4 (02:16:18):
Not his butthole, but your butthole.

Speaker 11 (02:16:23):
Babe, I'm fist deep.
What do you mean?
Whose butthole is it?

Speaker 2 (02:16:33):
Yeah, see mean whose butthole is this.

Speaker 11 (02:16:35):
See, I'm in my body, I'm six knuckles in.

Speaker 5 (02:16:39):
What do you think about that I?

Speaker 11 (02:16:40):
don't like this.
Six knuckles I'm six knucklesin.

Speaker 2 (02:16:46):
Oh boy, okay, on that note, butter it up, baby.
No anal for Taylor.
Hey, I hope if If you want tomake your butt hurt better, just

(02:17:08):
get some butt hurt cream.
Butt hurt butter.
Butt hole butter.
Butt hole butter.
Make that butter.
Butt hurt butter.
Butter Buddy, I can't believeit's not butt butter.
All right, everybody.
I hope you have a Make thatbutt hole better.

Speaker 4 (02:17:27):
Use that little butt.
Make that butt hole better,buddy.

Speaker 2 (02:17:30):
I hope you have a safe and fun Halloween and get
lots of fucking candy.
No, that's it.
No, we're done on the buttbutter.
We're done on the butt hurtbutter All right, ciao, baby.

Speaker 4 (02:17:46):
You can make a bottle of butter buddy Buddy.
Hey, you know it's time to getit started.
Let me introduce you all toShane Hargis.

Speaker 1 (02:17:53):
OKC, yeah, we got to rep that.
Sit back.
I know that you're going tohave a good laugh, bringing you
the comedy that you really need.
Keep it entertaining.
You better believe.
So let's get it popping.
No more talk.
Going to make us laugh until wefart.
Shane Hargis, that's who wewant Gonna make us laugh until
we fart.
Shane Hawkins, that's who wewant.

(02:18:14):

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