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November 11, 2024 • 155 mins

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Have you ever wondered what it's like to transform a shed into a chicken coop or pondered the peculiarities of farm life? Join us for a rollicking Veterans Day special as El Crapitan Shane Harges and Taylor Lee, our co-host and self-proclaimed "born-again virgin," brings infectious laughter and quirky charm to the studio. Our conversation jumps from the comical logistics of fertilized eggs at Ripper Ranch to the bizarre world of balut, all while celebrating the lighter side of military service. With playful nods to troops' memories like the infamous duck walk at MEPS, we honor veterans with humor and heart.

From the chaos of political antics to the hilarity of everyday mishaps, our banter is as unpredictable as it is entertaining. We humorously tackle political figures and groups, like "White Dudes for Harris" and reflect on leadership dynamics with a comedic flair. Meanwhile, personal stories of unexpected flatulence in public places and debates over the best chicken sandwiches offer relatable and laugh-out-loud moments. Whether discussing vacation tales or the appeal of comfort food havens like Cracker Barrel, our exchanges are filled with warmth and wit.

We also navigate the unique challenges of military training and service, sharing anecdotes of sniper school aspirations and convoy missions in Kosovo. From the nostalgia of MREs to the thrill of sniper marksmanship, our stories highlight the camaraderie and humor found in military life. As we express gratitude to veterans and their families, we invite you to engage with us through live streaming, ensuring an interactive and enjoyable experience. Prepare for a whirlwind of laughter, reflection, and appreciation as we bring you an episode filled with unforgettable moments and heartfelt thanks to those who serve.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thank you.
Sit back.
I know that you're gonna have agood laugh, bringing you the
comedy that you really need.
Keep it entertaining you betterbelieve.
So let's get it popping.
No more talk.
Gonna make us laugh until wefart.
Shane hargis, that's who wewant.
Gonna make us laugh until wefart.
Shane hargis, that's who wewant.
Gonna make us laugh until wefart.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Oh baby, we are back in studio, toot and scoot and
live streaming on the YouTubes.
Don't be scared, don't bescared, don't be scared.
What?

Speaker 4 (00:59):
does that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:01):
I don't know what it means.
I'm not Apparently, if peoplego to YouTube and search Shane
Hargis comedy, click the channel.
Click the there should be alive on there.
Click the live Ba-boom.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I see us right now.
I see us right now, so can'tshow boobies.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
I will try to keep mine up.

Speaker 6 (01:26):
Keep your boobies up.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, I got my training bra on.
You want to perk it?

Speaker 6 (01:29):
I got my eight cup bra on.
Those are bees man, those aresolid bees.

Speaker 7 (01:34):
Solid.

Speaker 6 (01:35):
Thank you, thank you I made it myself.
I might do the whole showcupping them.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
It feels kind of good , I like to do it Comforting.

Speaker 6 (01:47):
Oh okay, it's a girl thing.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Girls do that just like dudes cup their balls for
comfort.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yes, let's do some introductions, hi.
Okay, I'm El Crapatan, yourcaptain of this ship.
I will not go down with itthough.

Speaker 8 (02:04):
Oh, that's fucking rude, I know.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
As always, your co-host Yay, your born-again
virgin co-host, taylor Lee,finally got here.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Babe, babe, babe.
Sorry, some of us have to work.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Loser.
And I'm still poor and thenback with us for another
Veterans Day special.
Our good friends, super fans ofthe podcast.

Speaker 7 (02:37):
Camel.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Toe Camel.

Speaker 6 (02:40):
Toe, that's fun.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
That's my new nickname for you we combined it
together.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
The Camel Toes.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Camel Toes you sound like you're from my new nickname
for you.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
We combined it together the Camel Toes Camel.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Toes.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
You sound like you're from Tennessee.
Huh, you sound like you're fromTennessee.

Speaker 10 (02:50):
Well, maybe sometimes you are the Tennessee
accent game again.
I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
None of us are good at it and off camera your former
OKS co-host ever.

Speaker 9 (03:02):
Where Casey?

Speaker 6 (03:04):
Su?
Where is okayest co-host ever?
Where Casey Sue?
Where is she?
Zoom in on her many tacosresumed in, say hi.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Resumed in on you say hi.

Speaker 7 (03:15):
I wouldn't knock out hey thank you for your service
thank you for your service buddyveterans

Speaker 3 (03:22):
day special and veterans out there watching
listening shooting service.
Buddy Veterans Day special.
And veterans out there watchinglistening shooting guns
dropping bombs America.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service.
Don't you knock over the camera.
We're live.
Why did?

Speaker 4 (03:41):
my voice crack, I don't know.
I love it.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
And my balls dropped.
My love it and my balls dropped.
My voice cracked and my ballsdropped.

Speaker 11 (03:48):
It's your day.
It's because it's your day, itis my day, that's right, it's
your day.

Speaker 9 (03:53):
Veterans Day makes your.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Ball whatever.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, you wouldn't know yeah you wouldn't know,
girl Exactly, maybe what does?
That have to do with it, maybeit's second puberty, she got no,
she got, she got I've seen itin there.

Speaker 6 (04:07):
She got nothing.
Oh, you see what where?

Speaker 11 (04:10):
come again, her nova what a nova vulva my fishy kiss
.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Oh, that's the back, maybe the back.
The back I meant to the cyclopskick us off with a little, with
a little opener video here.

Speaker 9 (04:34):
If you have a little friend back here, hello, let's
go over here.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Let's share a little video.
Watch this with me folks yes.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
I love watching.

Speaker 7 (04:49):
How you move your hips, girl, make me hypnotized.
How you like your eggs, I likethem.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
They're easy.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
I don't think they're really talking about that?

Speaker 8 (05:04):
How do you like your eggs?
They're talking about them.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
What are they talking about?

Speaker 1 (05:10):
I think they're talking about.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Actually cooking breakfast.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, ovulation.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
I think it's ovulation.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Do you have fertilized eggs at?

Speaker 6 (05:20):
breakfast yes, you can if you have a rooster,
that's true If you have a cock.

Speaker 11 (05:24):
Do tell that's true.
Yeah, if you have a cock.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Tell us more.

Speaker 11 (05:27):
Do tell, do tell.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
If your chickens are fucking.

Speaker 6 (05:30):
You're going to be eating, y'all like chickens, and
your rooster's doing his job.
Your eggs are fertilized, sodoes that mean you're eating a
baby chick?

Speaker 11 (05:37):
Yeah, no, because they haven't developed into it's
still a yolk.

Speaker 6 (05:41):
They have to be incubated.
So you're eating a chickenfetus.
It's not even a fetus, yettechnically it doesn't have a
heartbeat.
It's a yolk.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Jordan out.

Speaker 6 (05:55):
Now, if we were to incubate them for 21 days, yuck
Balut, but they're still justlike normal, just gooey.

Speaker 12 (06:01):
If you were offered a million dollars.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Would you eat balut?
What is Balut?

Speaker 11 (06:07):
It's when they're almost hatched, they're a little
bit crunchy.
They have feathers Are theychickens or ducks.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
I won't even eat chickens or ducks A meal.

Speaker 11 (06:14):
I couldn't do that.
We went to the Asian market andmy mistake Bought eggs.
Oh, scrambled eggs.

Speaker 6 (06:26):
Who did that I was, like I was a person for that
conversation yeah, hard lesson.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Walmart sets are better why do you know so much
about the chickens?

Speaker 4 (06:38):
yeah, go ahead, ma'am , because we have chickens and
turkeys we love them in my houseAt Ripper Ranch.

Speaker 6 (06:48):
That's where I was going for that's right.
That's where we have ourchickens, that's nice.
Our beautiful babies, we lovethem.
They survived the tornado justrecently.

Speaker 11 (06:55):
Yes, I was going to ask about that that was insane,
did everybody make it.

Speaker 6 (06:59):
Everybody survived, oh good.

Speaker 11 (07:01):
Physically, every single one Mentally Except for
their son.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
He flew away, no telling where he's at he's out
in the wilderness New York bynow.
Maybe, oh, lincoln, yeah.

Speaker 6 (07:13):
Maybe, he's feral.
I'll see him in a few days.
Well, he's looking for thetickets, he'll survive.
Yeah, he'll be fine, he's toonice.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
He's so sweet, he'll get adopted by anybody An angel.
I know he is an angel, angelbaby.

Speaker 6 (07:26):
Not anybody, though, he's Mike.

Speaker 7 (07:29):
Possessive, my friend lives out-ish where you live.
I don't know exactly where, butshe lost her house.

Speaker 6 (07:36):
Dang.
Yeah, it's bad, the devastation.
I mean we were so lucky.
It came kind of diagonalthrough our neighbor's backyard
and through our backyard and hitthe backside of our house and
our backyard and then it wentdiagonal and jumped over into
another neighborhood and thatwhole neighborhood leveled like
less than 300 yards.
And we, us and our neighbor,our immediate neighbor, are the

(07:57):
only ones that got any damage inour neighborhood.

Speaker 7 (07:59):
So it kind of clipped the edge of our neighborhood.
It's insane, yeah, she's offlike triple X.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Yes, we're off.

Speaker 6 (08:05):
Peabody, so that's just a mile to the yeah what
over.
So yeah, it was crazy.
It was really scary.
I'm so glad you're here.
Yeah, it was really scary.
Alive, we're all good, and allof our turkeys actually roost
outside of the coop, they rooston top or in the trees and I was

(08:26):
like, oh, they're gone.
I mean, how can you potentiallyhold on?
And we went out there at what?
3?
am yeah it was about 3 am whenit passed over us and we got out
of the bathroom and we all kindof collected ourselves for a
minute and just stood there andwe're like I was ready we were
like looking I was going youknow, I'm saying like looking
for the roof right to make sureit was still there, because it
was literally so loud, yeah,like the noise was so scary.

(08:46):
Basically, yeah, it sounds likea freight train and we are from
South Florida so we're used tohurricanes, so we're no stranger
to natural disasters We've beenthrough.
I lived through HurricaneAndrew, which is arguably the
worst hurricane that ever wentthrough Miami.
And I was only four, but Iremember my mom putting us under
a mattress in the living roomand just like holding us down my
brother and I and the dog, yeah, and she was just like hey,
hopefully you know you're fine,whatever.

(09:07):
But yeah it was.
We were sitting in the bathroomjust kind of all holding each
other, like well, I guess.
Yeah, you know this is it man,I don't know.

Speaker 11 (09:15):
Wow, you kind of start to panic.
About 1.30, I woke up becausebody has metal and it was
telling me, hey, there'ssomething weird going on.
It was eerily like.
So I turned on the, the news,and you know the the
meteorologist was like, ah, getto your safe zone.
I'm like, oh, shoot.
And then I felt the house justlike suctioning.
Bizarre like it felt like itwas breathing.

(09:37):
So I ran straight to ourbedroom, grabbed my boy.

Speaker 6 (09:41):
Told me let's go and dude we just went into the
bathroom yeah I mean this innerbar part of our house, and we
just were sitting there and youcould just hear it.
Yeah, and it was just sooverwhelmingly loud and you
could just hear the debrishitting you know you just,
you're just like okay, hopefullynothing flies in here and
impales me or whatever, suckswindows out.
I'm not sure, yeah, and thenwhen it passed, we all went
outside because I was like, ohmy God, my chickens, of course.

Speaker 11 (10:05):
She was like.
She was like tearing mychickens.
I was upset.

Speaker 6 (10:10):
I mean, it's like it's and it's scary.
Yeah, you know, when I, when wecame out of the bathroom,
you're still running on highlike you're running on
adrenaline and you literally arejust like Lincoln was asleep.
Thank God he didn't even reallyrealize what was happening.
That's good, so we just laidhim back down.
He kind of went back to sleep.
But him and I ran out to thebackyard and I was like looking
at the devastation.
I mean to see what if we had ayard, if we had a house, the

(10:33):
back part of our house orwhatever, and our neighbors?
The whole fence got blown downand they were in our yard
because his coop had got pickedup and like twisted and mangled
and flung into our yard and hewas pulling chickens out of
debris.

Speaker 11 (10:48):
It looked like.
It looked like aluminum foil,Just mangled metal like not
flimsy like plywood.

Speaker 6 (10:57):
I mean, it was like a built coop and he was digging
out all his chickens, and allhis chickens survived too.
Yeah, we found one crazy,pinned up under our ac unit and
we pulled her out and we justwere like grabbing them all and
I'm just like where's all mychickens and some of ours where
we had a pool.
The pool got thrown and likemangled all up and we had a
couple that were under the pool,some that were under fencing.

(11:17):
We had like patio furniturethat had got blown up against
the fence and they were underthe furniture, our blackstone.
The top got ripped and likemelted like yeah, it's like cast
iron solid past and it'stwisted.

Speaker 11 (11:29):
The top of it got twisted it's twisted it was wild
, but all of our animalssurvived, and I'm like shocked
when we went outside the firstthing was, hey, she's gonna go
check out the chickens.
But when I saw my neighbor likeout there, my first thought was
either his kids, yeah.
Wives.
So I ran to him and I'm like,hey, what's up.

Speaker 6 (11:48):
Are you okay, and he's like he has a little
headline.

Speaker 11 (11:50):
He's like my chickens, we're like who are you
looking for?
Are you looking for?

Speaker 6 (11:55):
a human or a because he's got two kids and a wife.
I mean we're like thinking theworst case scenario.
You know and we know his wifeworks nights at the casino.
So I'm like, oh god, what ifshe came home and got stuck in
it or something?
And we were just like freakingout, but it, it all ended up
fine nobody got hurt neighborsare fine yeah you really see
like community support cometogether when people yeah and we

(12:15):
got our neighborhood.
Uh, there's power.
There's only one way in and oneway out.
It's pretty small and the powerpoles got all like yeah, they,
they were basically at theentrance.
So we're stuck, we couldn'tleave or go anywhere.
So we were like, ok, we're kindof SOL.

Speaker 11 (12:28):
Does the post work and snap right in the middle?

Speaker 6 (12:31):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 11 (12:31):
Like on the road.
we couldn't leave and we werejust like water was everywhere,
so we were like, yeah, like ourneighbors, like, oh, his, his
rocking chair that he has at thefront of his house was grabbed
and like thrown three housesdown into a little ravine where,
like the power line's at.
When we saw it I was like, hey,well, they taught us in Miami.

(12:54):
It was like if you see downpower lines and you see water,
leave it alone.
And he looked at me and he goesyeah, I'm not touching that
thing, I'm good yeah, for sure.

Speaker 6 (13:03):
But so yeah, he goes.
Yeah, I'm not touching thatthing, I'm good Water and
electricity is a no-go in anystate, yeah, for sure, but so
yeah, it was wild.

Speaker 11 (13:10):
It could have been worse.

Speaker 6 (13:12):
We're super lucky that we didn't have any loss of
life or anything.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
I'm so glad y'all are okay and I'm really glad the
chickens are okay, and all myturkeys.

Speaker 6 (13:23):
One of our turkeys is blind, and he was the one that
I when I came outside to look athim, I did start crying because
he's the one I'm the mostattached to and I've raised him
since he was a baby and he'slike I don't know special needs,
whatever.

Speaker 11 (13:35):
He's blind.

Speaker 6 (13:37):
I feel like that death would have impacted me the
most.
I think because he wouldn'thave seen it coming, maybe in my
mind.

Speaker 11 (13:44):
Literally.

Speaker 6 (13:45):
Literally Ray Charles I didn't see what this scene is
.
You know what I'm saying.
He wouldn't have had a chanceto fly up or whatever.
No, it needs to be Ray Charles.
His name is Demarcus AnthonyCopeland III.
I'm so sorry.
White Chicks is my favoritemovie if you guys didn't catch

(14:05):
that reference he's an angel.
He's actually named after yeah,she went and hugged him oh my
god and I'm like grabbed him andhe's like a 40 pound chicken
but I or turkey.
But I was like, I was likedemarcus is in the group and I
started crying.

Speaker 11 (14:19):
I was like, oh my god, fuck the other guys in the
meantime I'm trying to tell hercan we go?
Cause we got things to do likeit's 3 o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 6 (14:28):
We gotta figure out what's going on nah, man, I'm
not turkey, I'm not turkey baby.
Yet I'm bringing him in thehouse.

Speaker 12 (14:34):
He's coming inside he's going to my bed.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
I love you, but you're staying outside.

Speaker 6 (14:38):
Well, thankfully we have a big.
We converted a big shed it'slike what, eight by five or
something into a coop.
We have two smaller coopsattached and then we have it
actually fenced in and like witha top or whatever, like a run.
So they're all living it up inthere and they're so mad.
They never get confined likethat because we always open it
every morning and let them freerange in our acre or whatever.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
So how do you choose which one's going to be the
fried chicken or the turkey legor Thanksgiving Day bird?
They don't, is there?

Speaker 6 (15:14):
just a random that ain't this kind of farm?

Speaker 3 (15:18):
We can use the eggs and.

Speaker 6 (15:19):
I save their feathers because I like making little
cracks with their feathers, andthat's about as far as it goes.
They are pets, we love them.
They.
That's about as far as it goes.
They are pets, we love them,they are pets.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
And they are good eggs, they're fantastic and
they're fantastic cleaners too.
They keep our property clean.
Yeah, I don't think I could.

Speaker 6 (15:34):
I'll just eat the eggs.
I can't, I don't want to.

Speaker 4 (15:37):
Dispatch them.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
I've seen when a chicken's been slaughtered and
they do the chopping of the head, yeah, and the body is just
running around the yard.

Speaker 6 (15:49):
It's bad they did that.
We actually had a dispatch.
We had a really really mean,really mean rooster.
We had to take him to the farmand he went to live on the farm.
This is what Lincoln knowsabout him.
We had to dispatch him and itwas it's like the train station
yellow stone.
Bloody fest man, yeah he wentto the farm, yeah during a full

(16:09):
moon, sacrifice and that's.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
That's why you got skin walkers.

Speaker 6 (16:15):
We're convinced that we don't have skin walkers
because they're scared of usbecause, we dispatched a chicken
on the full moon, yeah, I wasbloodshed blood.
I just sat in the dirt for aminute because I was like, wow,
that was really aggressive.
What just happened.
Yeah, that's the farm life.
That's part of it.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Well, in other news.

Speaker 11 (16:41):
What we're live.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
We are live.

Speaker 8 (16:46):
There's a group called White Dudes for Harris.
Have you seen this?

Speaker 12 (16:49):
Oh boy.

Speaker 8 (16:51):
Anybody know, are some of you here White Dudes for
?

Speaker 5 (16:53):
Harris White Dudes, but I'm not one of them at all,
because their wives and theirwives' lovers are all voting for
me.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Oh, say hello to your next president of the United
States.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Was that Jim Gaffigan next to him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 (17:14):
Oh, it really was.
Yes, get out of here.
Yes, it's the Smith dinner.

Speaker 11 (17:18):
They have it every year, Mm-hmm oh my God.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
And Harris was not there.
People get roasted, yeah, andHarris didn't go Shocker it and
harris was not there.
Roasted, yeah, and harrisdidn't go shocker it was a wild
world, amazing, no like, and uh,tony hinchcliffe was there and
made, is that?

Speaker 6 (17:34):
when he made the puerto rico joke.
Hey yeah dude.

Speaker 11 (17:36):
Yeah, and that was so that joke very pg-13 compared
to the stuff that he comes outof his mouth.

Speaker 6 (17:43):
Oh yeah right, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
And he is a roast comic, yeah, so that's all he's
going to do.
So you knew what you weregetting.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
Don't expect anything else.
That shouldn't be a surprise.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Right, right, and it's all in fun and joking.

Speaker 7 (18:01):
No, it's Suey's business.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
Oh God, You're one of them fun and joking.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
No, it's Suey's business.
Oh God You're one of them,you're one of them.
You're one of them, yeah.
So what is?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
it.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Number 47?
He's number 47 now 47.
Trump.
What's everybody think aboutthat.
I mean because he, I'm scared,he kind of won big-ish.
I'm a little scared, you're alittle scared.
A lot of people are, a lot ofpeople are I don't know.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
I mean what are we going to do now?

Speaker 11 (18:37):
I don't know what to think.
Hold on, hey, he defeated twofemale presidential candidates.

Speaker 9 (18:41):
Two.

Speaker 11 (18:42):
Two, yeah, hillary.

Speaker 9 (18:44):
Clinton and.

Speaker 11 (18:44):
Harris.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Yikes.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Well, here's the thing.
My opinion is give us a womanthat we want to vote for.
It's not that I don't want tovote for whoever, but it's got
to be the right one.
For me, it just can't be.
Well, she's a person of colorand she's a woman.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
No, she's in my opinion.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
an idiot, she's an idiot.
Tulsi Gabbard, I'm on board.

Speaker 6 (19:21):
Or Candace Owens too.
Yes, I don't agree witheverything about Tulsi Whenard.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
I'm on board, or Candace Owens too.
Yes, she's great.
I don't agree with everythingabout Tulsi.
When she ran for president, Ilooked at her platform, dude,
and there were things that Icouldn't get behind.
However, you don't agree withsomeone 100% of the time, not?

Speaker 11 (19:40):
even your spouse.
We don't agree 100% of the time.

Speaker 6 (19:42):
What Are you serious?

Speaker 3 (19:48):
See, just like now, we don't agree See Case in point
.

Speaker 11 (19:52):
Hey, did you ever see Tulsi's debate with Harris
and she just dismantled her?

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, he had a whole don't know about it.

Speaker 6 (20:01):
I think, he would like.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Tulsi's butthole.

Speaker 5 (20:04):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 11 (20:07):
The Hershey kiss.
No, no, no.
Wasn't she a lieutenant carol?

Speaker 7 (20:09):
that noise no, I don't know.
Thank you for your servicethank you for your service.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Thank you yeah um what what I don't remember.

Speaker 8 (20:22):
This is America.
You dumb son of a bitch, Loveit.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Okay, yeah, I don't know about you guys.
Oh boy, what did you just throwout of?

Speaker 6 (20:34):
your butt.
He has a secret kangaroo stashof cock rubs in his butt hole
you weren't going to get it.

Speaker 10 (20:41):
It's in his prison pocket.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
You don't get first when you come in.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
You learned things in the.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
Navy and how to keister.

Speaker 10 (20:48):
That's right, I'm kistering.

Speaker 8 (20:49):
He's keister.

Speaker 11 (20:51):
Well, so I have this cough.

Speaker 6 (20:53):
You're like an old man, you carry cough drops they
came in with like a sand-sizedbag.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
I mean you are a person of color, but we weren't
going to frisk you as you cameinto the house.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
I'm not frisking.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
You could have just kept it in your jean pocket
instead of prison pocket.

Speaker 6 (21:10):
He can't reach his front pocket, oh yeah.

Speaker 11 (21:14):
You like it.

Speaker 6 (21:14):
I do, I love it Hi.

Speaker 8 (21:16):
Show them your boots off.
Show them my boots, my boots.

Speaker 6 (21:21):
And them socks.
Where's Waldo?

Speaker 4 (21:24):
Look at my boots.

Speaker 10 (21:26):
Now, there we go.
Now it's American.

Speaker 6 (21:30):
I got my muck baits on.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
I gotta do this one again.

Speaker 8 (21:32):
This is America, you dumb son of a bitch.
Okay, Beautiful.

Speaker 6 (21:36):
Spanx, they're fresh.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
This is their maiden voyage.

Speaker 6 (21:42):
What kind are they?

Speaker 1 (21:43):
You gotta break them in Justin.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
What kind are they?

Speaker 1 (21:46):
I have no idea.
You've got to break them in Dorainbows.

Speaker 6 (21:49):
Justin, what, ariana, what, what?
Who are these people?

Speaker 10 (21:51):
Ariana.
Who's Justin?
Who's Justin.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
They're Ariana Grande's.
Is that what I heard?

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Watch your voice crack, I don't know.
Second puberty.

Speaker 8 (22:02):
No, the second ball dropped, I think I don't know,
Is that going to be so saggy,Casey?
Oh my God.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
They free-fill, I think they hit terminal velocity
.

Speaker 6 (22:14):
Terminal.
Now they have space for Braille.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
I'm going to get him Botoxed, or something.

Speaker 6 (22:23):
On his knees.
That's how far they're going.
Ew Can.

Speaker 7 (22:29):
I please have a Dada.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Can you get me a beer , please?
Thank, you.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
Anybody else need a beer?
That was equivalent to yousnapping at me no, don't drink.

Speaker 11 (22:38):
Oh, doing this.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yes.

Speaker 11 (22:40):
He's winking at you.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
Not the winks.
No, I don't like it when hewinks.
He looks creepy when he winks.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Oh my hair got caught Because I do it on purpose.

Speaker 6 (22:48):
Does anybody need anything?
It's brown eyes Winking is justNormalized.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I have Topo Chico, do you want?

Speaker 11 (22:53):
to what is Topo Chico?

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Seltzer.

Speaker 11 (22:57):
It's Topo Chico, it's a seltzer.

Speaker 6 (22:59):
You want one.

Speaker 11 (23:04):
I thought she said soft serve In a can.
Soft serve in a can.
Yes, counting my calories.
Keeping it light and fit Hotgirl winter Already got my boots
going.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Winter's the best, because then you can just wear
sweats, sweaters.

Speaker 8 (23:26):
I was checking the stream Cozy Cozy time Checking
the stream.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
I hope it's, still streaming Is it nice?
It's probably like on thestream oh, I got a strong, I got
a healthy flow Ew.

Speaker 7 (23:40):
Casey does he?

Speaker 11 (23:41):
have a healthy flow.

Speaker 6 (23:43):
He pees real loud in the morning.

Speaker 11 (23:46):
That's a good urethra, does he?

Speaker 6 (23:48):
fart, he farts all the time.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
That's when I knew I hit over the hill Because I used
to hear old guys in thebathroom as a kid they would go
pee and they always farted.

Speaker 6 (24:02):
In the back door, get a little air out.
Fucking gross, turbo and gross.

Speaker 11 (24:05):
Turbo and then one day Get some air out.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
One day it happened, I peed.

Speaker 6 (24:13):
Oh my God, and you got it.

Speaker 11 (24:15):
And you're like oh.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Geronimo.

Speaker 11 (24:18):
Geronimo.

Speaker 6 (24:19):
Eureka, I'm old now I'm old now Is that what it is
when it slips out I'm old now.
I'm old now, is that?

Speaker 4 (24:25):
what it is when it slips out.
You're old, oh man.

Speaker 9 (24:33):
Dude, I was rounding the court and it was just like I
didn't even know there was aworld behind you.

Speaker 11 (24:37):
She got the burst mode.

Speaker 6 (24:39):
Uh-oh, must be it.
I don't know, man.
Yeah, speed bump, is that whatit's called?

Speaker 9 (24:45):
Yeah, is that a hemorrhoid?

Speaker 6 (24:48):
I don't want to talk about that.
I don't want to talk about that.
Oh crap, chan farted himselfout of the aisle at the store
one time.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (24:56):
Do tell what happened.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
I try to do that with other shoppers, Like I'll come
around a corner.
Yeah and I fart and I get awayreal quick and see if anybody
comes around.
No, he doesn't.
He doesn't do that, he doesn'tdo that.

Speaker 6 (25:10):
The barrier.
Setting up the trap.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
No, but one time I farted in an aisle and I
couldn't get away from it and Ihad to.
I went pushing her with thecart.
She's in front.
I'm like what the?

Speaker 11 (25:22):
the car she's in front.
It's a heat seeking missile.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
It was just chasing me down it was really bad nice,
very nice, mine's usually whenthe kids are with me and they
don't know and they don't care,and they just, oh my god.

Speaker 6 (25:38):
Lincoln's always like it's okay, the house farted
dude every time he comes inclutch man, that kid knows it he
protects her every single timethe house farted dude every time
he comes in.
Clutch man that kid knows it.

Speaker 11 (25:45):
That's right.
He protects her every singletime.

Speaker 6 (25:49):
I'm playing two versus one I think it's because
from birth he's always toldlincoln that he has to like
watch over me.
So lincoln basically just likebabies me for the most part.
If he gets in any way type ofway towards me, like it's like,
stop talking to my mom, likethis, and I'm like come at me,
bro, you'll like that.
And I'm like come at me bro,You're a protector.
He'll get you on your fuckingankles.

Speaker 11 (26:07):
What is he going to do to a four-year-old In your
shins, he'll fuck you up realquick, he said four.

Speaker 6 (26:13):
He said 40.
40?
Oh, I thought you said40-year-old.
I'm talking about you.

Speaker 7 (26:22):
He's 48.

Speaker 8 (26:25):
What?
Close enough, Dan.
You're 48.
Not yet.
You're 48 in two weeks.
Yeah, you have 20 days untilyou're 48.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
So I'm not 48, yet he has a turkey baby Mm-hmm.

Speaker 11 (26:36):
His balls haven't dropped yet.

Speaker 6 (26:37):
So you're 47.
Yes, I have Three times he'syour 37.

Speaker 9 (26:40):
So you guys are exactly 10 years apart, and his
birthday's in a couple weeks too.

Speaker 6 (26:44):
When's your birthday 17.

Speaker 11 (26:46):
17.

Speaker 6 (26:48):
Cuties.

Speaker 7 (26:49):
We're 10 years apart.

Speaker 6 (26:50):
We are Extra cute.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 8 (26:56):
Fremboy oh wait, wait , wait.
I don't know what you'retalking about Hold on hold

Speaker 5 (27:01):
on Do it.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
So Fremboy and Taylor might have gone on a Do it.
So Frimboy and Taylor mighthave gone on a little vacation.

Speaker 6 (27:10):
I heard about it and I have secret video of it, there
was backdoor action.

Speaker 8 (27:15):
No, there was not Backdoor of your cabin,
obviously.

Speaker 6 (27:20):
Where you saw the elephants Peeking.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Let me show you what happened.
You ready, I'm ready I don'tthink so, baby doll.

Speaker 8 (27:31):
Hey y'all, baby doll, I'm sitting out here with my
wife, shelly Poop.
We are fucked up.
We are loving life.
We're having a goddamn drink ofpoo, ain't we baby?
What are you doing?
Are you petting the doll?
Pet?
What are you doing?
Are you petting the dog?
Petting the dog.
I love you.
You are my main white girl.

Speaker 11 (27:50):
You're my main white girl.

Speaker 8 (27:51):
I love you.
So how many dogs do you have inyour lap right now?

Speaker 6 (27:56):
Because I gotta have another goddamn drink.
I'm confusing the orientationof this.
She fell down on the ground.
She's sitting on the ground.

Speaker 8 (28:01):
This goddamn pregnant zone and whiskey.

Speaker 11 (28:04):
Pregnantone and whiskey.
Oh, look at that.

Speaker 6 (28:10):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 (28:12):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 11 (28:14):
That's a lot of licking.

Speaker 8 (28:17):
He's licking his butt .
I love y'all.
We are fucked up.
We're getting goddamn right.
We're getting.

Speaker 11 (28:26):
Super redneck.

Speaker 6 (28:28):
I mean, I can see it.

Speaker 11 (28:29):
Looks like he's drinking and taking Molly's.

Speaker 8 (28:31):
Oh golly, yeah, that was goddamn straight whiskey.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
So how was it?

Speaker 3 (28:41):
That's Edmund.
How was?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
it man?
I think so.
I think that's Johnny to be, isit, ed I?

Speaker 6 (28:45):
think so, I don't know.
Blackie.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
So how was vacation?

Speaker 8 (28:49):
It looked like it was pretty fun he didn't go to
Tennessee, I didn't know youcould go to Tennessee and
Georgia just driving down thestreet, one turn, that's how
close they are.

Speaker 6 (29:02):
Which one?
Well, yeah, they're two yeah.
Which one?
Well, yeah, they're touchingwhat did you say?

Speaker 3 (29:07):
you didn't know you could get from somewhere to
somewhere like yeah that's whereroads go they just gotta go
what?

Speaker 8 (29:15):
they direct hotels in tennessee, and in the mornings
we would you know, gotta getyour head right.
So we would drive and we be ingeorgia.

Speaker 11 (29:21):
No, gotta, get your head right, so we would all
drive and we'd be in GeorgiaRoad head.

Speaker 8 (29:25):
No, gotta get your head right.
So we would all just be inGeorgia and just make a loop and
go to Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 6 (29:29):
Cracker Barrel, dang Cracker Barrel.
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 8 (29:33):
We're gonna go to all 87 Cracker Barrels.
We've got two down.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Do you got a pen?
Do you got?

Speaker 8 (29:41):
a little spreadsheet with a red line have you gone to
Cracker Barrel in Norman?

Speaker 10 (29:46):
No, norman, there's one in Edmond, like double date
it, triple date it.

Speaker 11 (29:50):
Triple date.
It we're down.
Triple date it.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
I love Cracker Barrel .

Speaker 11 (29:54):
Dude their steak and eggs on point, on point.

Speaker 9 (29:57):
I got the chicken rice steak.

Speaker 6 (29:58):
It's pretty good.
Oh, and the breakfast.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
It's a half-brown casserole man.

Speaker 6 (30:03):
I tell you what.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's good.
It's not the best, but it'salso not the worst.
I would probably choose CrackerBarrel or Denny's.

Speaker 6 (30:15):
The one in Midway City is trash.
You want a side of meth andCarl's Jr.

Speaker 11 (30:21):
Every time I see their commercials.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
I get sick to my stomach this one loves.
Carl's.

Speaker 6 (30:25):
Jr.

Speaker 11 (30:27):
He had a silent standing ovation ceremony when
they closed the one in MidwayCity.
He said I drove there wantingan avocado burger.

Speaker 6 (30:38):
I'm making one of those at home, damn.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Speaking of eating at places, we have some special
snacks.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, gross Speaking of eating at places.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
Oh, okay, we have some special snacks?
We have a tour.
And I got these special snacks.

Speaker 6 (30:50):
Someone said you have a healthy streak.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
It's my illegitimate son from the north.
Oh, buddy, hey, he's a futureveteran.

Speaker 6 (31:05):
Wow, thank you for your service.
Oh, buddy.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
hey, he's a future veteran, oh wow thank you for
your service and Justin when youwhere is he right now?

Speaker 11 (31:16):
what is he doing?
Is he in boot camp?

Speaker 3 (31:18):
not yet.
He's not even there yet he'sready and I think he ships out,
maybe after the first year, sohe already signed.
I think he's not even there yet.

Speaker 11 (31:26):
He's ready and I think he ships out, maybe after
the first year, so he alreadysigned, I think.
So Holy shit, that's awesome.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
Good on him.
Oh, and he said Waffle Housefor the win.
I do like Waffle.

Speaker 11 (31:35):
House.
Waffle House is good.
The hookers.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
The switchblades as long as my next stop is home.

Speaker 11 (31:44):
Waffle House is good .
The stripper fights the bidet.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
I try not to go at that time of night anymore.

Speaker 11 (31:52):
Oh, dude, that's the excitement.

Speaker 8 (31:53):
That's at 2 in the afternoon 2 in the afternoon On
a Tuesday.

Speaker 11 (32:00):
What do you have there?

Speaker 3 (32:02):
From my favorite dispensary in Norman, noble
Dispensary, and they have theprettiest bags I've ever seen.
I like these bags, but anyway,these are not infused snacks.

Speaker 6 (32:14):
Did you hear that they're?

Speaker 3 (32:15):
THC free.
Yes, they're just.

Speaker 6 (32:17):
For our federal workers.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Thank you, there are snacks from.

Speaker 6 (32:20):
Egypt.
I want to reiterate that Snacksfrom Egypt, I want to reiterate
that Japan.

Speaker 11 (32:24):
Not in America.
Weird stuff here, what?

Speaker 4 (32:27):
the fuck are weird stuff.
I had to get them before thetariffs started.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
We're sampling the damn tiers, so I have these
first.
They're special for Taylor.
Oh, what is that?
Crackers corn.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Ranchito Crackers corn.
I am a crackers corn, yeah,crackers.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
Ranchito Crackers.
So we need to try this.
I think these are from Egypt.

Speaker 11 (32:49):
Oh hang on.
Yeah, look at that.

Speaker 6 (32:53):
I want to go there.

Speaker 11 (32:55):
And then we got.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
We got some, we got some.

Speaker 11 (33:03):
That sounds like something I'll tell Mel.
Hey Mel, can I get someyin-yang?

Speaker 6 (33:08):
Is this Nutella?
This is Nutella.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Justin says boot camp is January 14th.

Speaker 11 (33:13):
Yes, Okay so he has been to the doctor that you know
.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
drop your drawers, yes yes, let's check him out.
Yes, now I'm bent over, let mecheck your drawers.
Yes, let's check him out.
Yes, now I'm bent over, let mecheck your hole.

Speaker 11 (33:27):
So, talking about veterans, do you mind if I share
this story real quick?
No, do it?
So I went into MEPS not knowingwhat the hell I was getting
into.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
What's MEPS?

Speaker 11 (33:38):
So MEPS is like the prerequisite for medical exams
to see if you're healthy.

Speaker 6 (33:43):
It's yeah where you go to like.

Speaker 11 (33:44):
I don't know what it says for medical exam peace.
They do all your medical stuff.
Yeah, they check you out,mental, all that stuff.
And I remember I walked inthey're like hey, you gotta pee
in a cup, and I'm a shy peer.
It took me an hour, oh my God.
Yeah, the dude knew my penis bythe time I peed.

Speaker 6 (34:04):
So that's how you knew you were staring at it for
so long.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 11 (34:07):
So check on that Navy boy.
And then we had to go to theBengay doctor because his office
smelled like Bengay and he'slike, hey, get naked, leave your
you know your boxers on.
I said, ok, he checked.
You know, oh, your sp, oh, yourspine is good, your shoulders,

(34:28):
all that.
And then he's like, pull downyour doors.
And I said so I put him likeright to the middle of my thigh.
He said no, I need him down allthe way to the ankles.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
How disrespectful and he grabbed and you were
standing like this oh dude dude,I had nothing.

Speaker 11 (34:44):
And I remember this dude pulled my sack Like he was
reading like the newspaper.

Speaker 10 (34:51):
Yeah, it was an e-reader he was reading the
Bible.

Speaker 11 (34:55):
He grabbed my testicles.
He was trying to figure out,like how many sperm I had in
there.

Speaker 12 (35:02):
That's how detailed.

Speaker 11 (35:04):
He had a big old nose, so I was very afraid that
if I coughed.
So anyways.

Speaker 8 (35:09):
Did he have gloves?

Speaker 11 (35:11):
on yeah.

Speaker 10 (35:12):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
Either way it was traumatic for me.

Speaker 11 (35:15):
It was black and white, I don't remember much.

Speaker 6 (35:18):
And then he goes hey, I need you to look at the sink.

Speaker 11 (35:24):
So I looked at the sink and he said, hey, I need
you to look at the sink.
So I looked at the sink and hesaid no, I need you to look at
it.
And I looked at it while he'sin front of me and he's like no,
I need you to turn around andbend over and grab your ankles,
oh.

Speaker 6 (35:36):
I don't even know your name.
Take me to dinner first.
Why?

Speaker 11 (35:41):
And that was his first experience For your
country, for your country.
Yeah, he looked like my littlepoop star.

Speaker 6 (35:47):
Chocolate starfish.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Hey, shout out to Justin for bringing up the
episode Burlap Boyfriends.
That was a good episode Withall the boys, a socky box.
And hey, we love you too.
Dude, proud of you what wasthat.

Speaker 11 (36:05):
Oh, so he's going to Michigan.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
He's in Michigan right now.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
He lives there, maybe , I don't know.
Do you live in Michigan?

Speaker 11 (36:12):
Yeah, we were talking through the stream.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
I love it.
He says I was first in everytesting room and first one out
of the building and I dropped myshorts and stepped out of them
and even farted a little bitwhen he was checking things out.

Speaker 11 (36:28):
He deserved it, like a true sailor.
Like a true sailor, I didn'tknow I was getting into.

Speaker 8 (36:34):
He just took them all the way off.

Speaker 11 (36:36):
He's like what's up, bro, let's go, let's go.

Speaker 8 (36:39):
Do they look in your butthole?
For a reason he's in Minnesotaright now I think he's in Justin
, maybe in your butthole for areason he's in.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Minnesota, right now.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
I think he's in Michigan I don't know In.

Speaker 6 (36:47):
Yeah, he's in Minnesota, right now they make
you cough to make sure nothingcomes out.

Speaker 11 (36:51):
No, they made you cough.

Speaker 6 (36:53):
When he asked me to cough, I did that.

Speaker 11 (36:56):
I need you to cough.

Speaker 6 (36:58):
Hemorrhoids maybe.
Yeah, he's checking hemorrhoids.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
I didn't have them then.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
I was clear Is that I didn't have them.
Then I was clear.
Is that how?

Speaker 6 (37:05):
Casey checks bend over and grab them.
What Casey does not check?
Good on you like a true troopergoing to the jungle by yourself
.
You get it, you get it no, Ihave had to look at his butthole
.
Here we go, story time, talkabout it story time.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
We've talked about it .

Speaker 7 (37:25):
Yeah, get over it.
He had a hemorrhoid ectomy.

Speaker 11 (37:29):
Oh, those hurt Good on you.
Thank you for your service,thank you.

Speaker 6 (37:33):
Thank you for your service.
And he was worried that hebusted a stitch.

Speaker 11 (37:37):
Oh, limo and stitch For real.
Yeah, for real.

Speaker 6 (37:40):
So he laid on his back.
So he laid on his back.
Oh poor.
Thing.

Speaker 10 (37:45):
He's like ah, Baby, yawn style Bro you baby yawned
her and I just kind of rolledand rocked.

Speaker 6 (37:50):
It was like hee, hee, hee, oh, my God.
Trying not to think about it.

Speaker 11 (37:53):
No, it was too bad.
Were you guys cleared, cleared,were you good.
I think it was fun.
It was just super painful.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Oh, take you to take a shit after.
Oh, my god, god, I bet that'sso scary.

Speaker 6 (38:07):
Oh, that's so terrible and I was.
I was taking like stool soft.
That's the worst, like when youhave a baby holding.
Holding, yeah, it's so bad andit's like you're like I'm
dilated.

Speaker 8 (38:20):
It's a boy, it's a girl it's a boy it.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I'm reaching.
Yeah, it was bad.
And then I would go it's aredhead, oh boy Right to the
bathtub and soak, oh my God, andlike cow gone, take me the fuck
away.

Speaker 6 (38:35):
It wasn't cow gone, it was all of my lush bad
thoughts yes, oh, of course itwas Okay.
So Okay, sorry, sorry sorry,not the Dr Teal's, I can't read.

Speaker 7 (38:43):
I can't read anything on this box except 100%.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
Is that so these are called 100% that little thing is
so cute.

Speaker 6 (38:53):
It's like those little cookie straws do you suck
them?

Speaker 1 (38:57):
always you were in the Navy.

Speaker 11 (38:59):
I'm gonna say yeah when I joined the Navy, I had no
lips.
Now, look hey, 100% you suckthem.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Oh, I did when I joined the.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Navy, I had no lips.
Now look 100% you something?

Speaker 3 (39:09):
Oh, I did.
Taylor said you guys like chips, so we have scallops flavored
chips.

Speaker 6 (39:16):
Ew, I'll tear those up.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
He doesn't eat seafood.

Speaker 6 (39:19):
He looks so scared.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
Probably from Japan.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
This guy is so cute, he's so cute.

Speaker 6 (39:24):
I know't eat seafood.
He hates seafood, probably fromJapan.
This guy is so cute.
You should give this tattoo.
He's so cute, I know.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Then we got a cake break donut cake, ooh, that'll
look good.

Speaker 11 (39:31):
What's up with you and donuts?
Last time when we had ourspecial, we had donuts Dude.

Speaker 7 (39:36):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
Have you seen my belly?

Speaker 7 (39:39):
Have you seen the?

Speaker 3 (39:40):
size of my person.

Speaker 11 (39:43):
Then that explains donuts.
I was going to say you have asix-pack, if I remember
correctly, party ball.

Speaker 6 (39:48):
Okay, oh yeah, I love it, party ball.

Speaker 11 (39:50):
See, my memory is just awful.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Ooh, what's that?
Grilled seafood flavored Ew why?

Speaker 8 (39:57):
are they all fish?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Ladies.

Speaker 6 (39:59):
Because they're fun.
It's fun, I'll try it.
I'm a little concerned aboutthe 8% that I can't read and the
9% that I can't read.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
So we're 8 and 9% of fish oil, scallop oil, I don't
know we have bidets in bothbathrooms when we lost power.

Speaker 6 (40:21):
So we're on a well.
So if we lose electricity, welose water, and the damn thing I
miss the most is my damn bidet,I'll tell you what wiping my
ass.
No, we had to.
Um, we couldn't even access it,like we couldn't hand pump it
or nothing, because we have anaerobic septic system.
So we had to have our friendsbring us five.
Well, we had five gallonbuckets.

(40:41):
We had to help them, have them,help us fill them so we could
flush our toilets.
It was a whole ordeal but man,that bidet I missed it, it was
camping.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
Do you have a generator?

Speaker 6 (40:51):
We do have a generator.
Well, we have a generator.
We have had a generator.
We could not get it to run ourlarge appliances, so we could
only get it to run.

Speaker 11 (41:06):
We had enough to plug in a power strip.
So you need a hefty baby?
Well, we have a big one, but wedidn't have the connections.

Speaker 6 (41:06):
What it is is.
We didn't have the adapter, soit wanted an adapter with the
four prongs for the fridge.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
Where do they use it?
Chernobyl?

Speaker 6 (41:15):
Dude, I don't even know man, we learned.

Speaker 11 (41:19):
We learned this time .

Speaker 6 (41:21):
But we did have a generator and it was enough to
like power, a power strip, so wecould, like you know, yeah,
entertain our five.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
You gotta think about doing is hiring an electrician
to put in like and I may not beusing the correct term, but you
can basically put right next toyour fuse box out in the garage
or your breaker box, they put ina second one and it's like a

(41:51):
transfer switch.
So, what would happen is powergoes out.
There's a little plate that youslide over and you can plug
your generator right into yourhouse.
And then you can choose on yourbreaker box if it can't power
the entire house.

(42:13):
You can just whatever breakeryou want on, choose, reset it.

Speaker 6 (42:17):
Oh sorry, we're actually looking into a whole
home generator, to be honest,because our neighbor like four
doors down has one and we werelike we need to do that he had a
fortress my dude, so theyBecause our neighbor, like four
doors down has one, and we werelike we need to do that.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
He had a fortress.
My dude.
So they'll do something likethat.
Yeah, now.

Speaker 6 (42:29):
But those ones are hooked up to natural gas so we
wouldn't even have to.
Ours runs on gasoline so we hadto, like, trek through an acre
of marshland to get to gas.

Speaker 11 (42:38):
Because it was wet.
It was eight inches of rain.

Speaker 9 (42:42):
Eight inches.

Speaker 6 (42:43):
We had an amazing amount of rain, oh, it was
fantastic.

Speaker 11 (42:49):
Wait, so Justin is shipping out dinner.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
See you, justin Bye.
Yeah, he was at Dad's Bye,signed on as an electrician's
mate, but he's going to SWCCSpecial Warfare Combatant Craft
Crewman as soon as I join.
I've already signed up.
He volunteered.
Good on him.

Speaker 6 (43:12):
Yeah, so explain what that is.

Speaker 11 (43:13):
So that is a volunteer position where you
become essentially like a crewchief the person in the aircraft
, that when a pilot's flying hedoesn't need to go to the back
and check out what's going onwith the aircraft.
He just has a crew chief tocheck for that for them.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Or like a helicopter, right yeah, helicopter aircraft
.
They have crew chiefs that arelooking at the ground, directing
they're also manning the ohyeah the 50 cal.

Speaker 8 (43:38):
Whoa.

Speaker 11 (43:39):
Yeah, so he, it is a .
At the beginning it's reallyhard because they're trying to
make sure to know that you'reresponsible, Right?
So if you do a mistake you getkicked out because of the
volunteer position.
It's very important, sowhenever you go to a school,

(44:00):
they're watching you like a hawk.
They're trying to make sure.
They're trying to weed you out.
If you do something wrong, theykick you out, but once you get
to your squadron, cake life.
That's awesome cake life.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, justin, we love you too, buddy.
Awesome, we're all super proudof you, proud, can't wait to see
your success and, uh, please,please let us know graduation
day graduation is, and yeah wedefinitely want to be there.

Speaker 4 (44:32):
We definitely want to be there.
Super proud of you.
That's awesome.

Speaker 5 (44:38):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
That was.

Speaker 3 (44:40):
Justin signing off.
Oh God.
Crackers corn, here we go.

Speaker 5 (44:46):
Just grab the smell, spicy it smells spicy it does
say hot cheese on it.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Oh does it.
It does say hot cheese on it.
Asmr, Everybody be quiet?

Speaker 11 (45:00):
That's what I tell her.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
Just camel cheese.
Cameltoe cheese it's like areally bad Cheeto.
Oh, the guy at Noble Said he'sgonna get Some more crazy snacks
.

Speaker 11 (45:15):
Oh dude One is like a.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
He said a Cheetos, a Cheetos cereal.

Speaker 6 (45:21):
Ew With milk.
I mean I would eat that.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
With milk.

Speaker 6 (45:24):
I love Cheetos With milk.
I eat my cereal dry.

Speaker 11 (45:27):
Yes, she does?

Speaker 6 (45:29):
I don't like milk, I am like cereal dry.
Yes, she does, I don't likemilk, I'm like real gross.

Speaker 11 (45:33):
I'm trying to figure it out, aren't we?

Speaker 2 (45:36):
all.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
This is disgusting.
It's like a Cheeto you foundunder the couch.

Speaker 6 (45:40):
That's what it tastes like.
Why do you know what thattastes like?

Speaker 11 (45:43):
It tastes like grass clippings.

Speaker 6 (45:45):
Grass clippings, so cellulose.

Speaker 11 (45:48):
All right.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
I'll try.

Speaker 6 (45:49):
We're doing scallops.

Speaker 11 (45:51):
I'm not a fan.
Not a fan.
Scallops I'm not a fan.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
I love scallops.

Speaker 6 (45:54):
I hope those are good Let me smell.
It looks like it, it doesn'tsmell like it, it does.

Speaker 11 (45:59):
It smells like potato chipsasco.

Speaker 6 (46:01):
It smells like pine salt the chip.

Speaker 11 (46:12):
What's going on there?

Speaker 6 (46:13):
This is not great.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
What's going on there , Shane?
I'm a quarter Native American.
That's why this cracker's corntastes bad.

Speaker 6 (46:23):
Because you're not a cracker and that tastes awful.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Shit.

Speaker 6 (46:27):
You ruined my joke, she's eating the clam.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
No, you did a cracker and that tastes awful Shit.
Yeah, you ruined my joke.
She's eating the clam.
No, you did Wait what?
The clam?
The?

Speaker 11 (46:33):
clam.
What is it the clam?

Speaker 8 (46:35):
She ate it.

Speaker 11 (46:37):
Clam, clam, clam jam the clap.

Speaker 9 (46:40):
She likes it.

Speaker 6 (46:41):
Scallop.

Speaker 10 (46:43):
Ooh, that was nice.

Speaker 8 (46:48):
That's a good.
They taste like a nice softbarbecue oh, soft barbecue.

Speaker 6 (46:50):
Barbecue, that sounds burby gentle barbecue either.
Good, I need to get that nastyI like that yeah, I'm with you
on that one it's like a dietbarbecue, is it diet?
It's just like a jet, like it's, you know, barbecue late is it?

Speaker 11 (47:05):
is it like diet soda , baby?
No, it's good.

Speaker 6 (47:07):
You know it's soda, but it's diet they're not bad at
all and they don't tasteanything like scallops.
To be honest, let me try thatshit.
Try that shit.
Not bad, I would eat that, nosure, okay, I got a little
something, but it's not maybeyeah maybe deep sea-ish over
here, but very mild, that's good.
I like that.

(47:27):
We all are eating it.
After the, I have a cleanpalate.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
I don't like it.

Speaker 6 (47:31):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Oh, oh, uh-oh Tastes like mercury, I should have had
a barf bag for everyone.

Speaker 4 (47:37):
Not the mercury.
That would be tuna.
I don't like that.
I don't get it.

Speaker 6 (47:43):
Well, I'm back to me.

Speaker 11 (47:45):
I don't get it.

Speaker 6 (47:46):
The flavor.

Speaker 11 (47:47):
Yeah, the flavor, I don't get it Like.
At first I got like a kick.
I like scallops, but and then Ididn't get a kick.

Speaker 6 (47:52):
Let's see the real seafood.
And then it tastes like potatochips Ew, it's like cat food.
It's like a Ladies, it doesn't.
It's like a soft barbecue.
That is such an exact JapaneseLays, sponsor me.
I like you.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
Hey, did you say Sawyer was playing basketball
again?
Because I got a video of himlast year playing basketball.
I want to show everybody.

Speaker 10 (48:16):
Yes, I love this.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
Here he is, there, he is right here, here he goes,
yes.

Speaker 8 (48:25):
Here's Saw, saw You'll get it, he was to dunk.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
You'll get it.

Speaker 7 (48:30):
He was so close.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
You'll get it one day buddy, you'll get it one day he
does not have brown hair.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
He's a baby.
Sasa the angel.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
No, I love watching him play.

Speaker 6 (48:41):
Why are you opening them like that?
I can't open them.
Can someone help me?
Help me?
I was wondering what washappening.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
It's child proof.

Speaker 6 (48:47):
It's real thick, I can't get it.
No, I'm kidding, for whatevermaterial this is.
It is kind of like aluminum.

Speaker 11 (48:51):
Oh my God, Aluminium , can you hold my beer?

Speaker 6 (48:53):
It's Republican proof I need to get it, it is.

Speaker 10 (48:57):
Yo, this is like.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Just squeeze it like this this is like yeah, like all
.

Speaker 6 (49:09):
Not the teeth.
They're so beautiful.
You're the only one in thefamily that has good teeth,
uh-oh.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
Uh-oh.

Speaker 7 (49:14):
Strip club.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Smells like a strip club.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
It smells like two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon
at Waffle House.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Oh my gosh, she's making a wink.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Emma's in a hole of sweet kids' eyes.
Emma's in a hole of sweet kids'eyes.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
I don't get it, her whispering eyes, whispering eyes
.

Speaker 6 (49:33):
Oh, whispering eyes.
That's it is, that's pussy.

Speaker 10 (49:39):
Does this smell?

Speaker 6 (49:40):
like patoosie.
It smells like bad fish.
It smells like you, let's do it.
I do not partake Dirty pussy,in that I'm not into women, so I
would notake dirty in that I'mnot into women, so I would not.

Speaker 11 (49:53):
I'm able to tolerate it that smells like bad fish.

Speaker 6 (49:57):
It's when you put the fish food in the thing.
Oh no, yeah it stinks like badfish what?

Speaker 8 (50:04):
that's?

Speaker 6 (50:04):
my fucking coochie that's hanging out you're gonna
eat it yeah you're gonna eat ityeah oh, you gotta smell it.

Speaker 11 (50:17):
You gotta smell it, smell it that's why he's so
opposed to it.

Speaker 6 (50:22):
Oh god, no, that smells like a really bad women's
locker room.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
It's really nasty man .

Speaker 6 (50:26):
Oh, my God oh.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Oh, that smells like bad cannabis.

Speaker 11 (50:32):
I had my nose in there and I held it for a while.
Is that what BB smells like?

Speaker 6 (50:38):
Probably Dude, I can't do it See if your dog
likes it, he don't puke fornothing.
So he'll try it, See if yourdog likes it, give it to Ruby
Ruby.

Speaker 8 (50:50):
Don't forfeit her Ruby.
I'll try one, but I ain'tsniffing it.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
She's got a big beaver, you okay.

Speaker 8 (50:57):
I just got a peeve.
Want to know how to take a shitin a coffee cup.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Yeah, more than those chips.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
I regret.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
My beard, I would do a whole lot.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
I regret this right now instead of sniffing those
chips.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Did someone try?

Speaker 6 (51:13):
it, yet I did I regret it.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
It's like a hot vagina it's spicy, let's do this
donut thing.
Let me try that with a cakedonut thing.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
No man, it's hot tuna .
It's like hot tuna.

Speaker 11 (51:33):
Oh, it has a kick, it does.

Speaker 9 (51:35):
Tuna kick.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Now I can't.

Speaker 11 (51:42):
It's like, it tastes like sriracha, that's not too
bad it does, but like fishy too,that's not too bad it does, but
like fishy too, that's a goodpalate cleanser.

Speaker 6 (51:54):
That's good.
We're going to do it in the.
Let me give you some.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
It's not bad.
It tastes like cake.
Where is?

Speaker 1 (52:03):
this from it tastes like cake.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
I don't know about that one.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Well, you probably should know.
Cake break.
This is from Malaysia.

Speaker 11 (52:09):
Diva.
Oh, isn't that the flight thatgot lost?

Speaker 6 (52:13):
Yes, open up that thing.
Well, we found this one.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
And that's actually an in-flight snack From Malaysia
, flight number 552.
571.
There you go.

Speaker 6 (52:25):
I almost said 471.
This is good.
It's good.

Speaker 11 (52:28):
It's good.
Why do you have so many holesin your jeans?

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Nah bro, is the chocolate bad?

Speaker 6 (52:34):
bad it's just cheapy or something.
Owls are active at night.
The little sticks have animalfacts.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
That is cute.
Wait, they're called Yan Yanand you can't read anything else
on that package but, that says.

Speaker 6 (52:51):
No this is in English oh, okay, oh okay.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Yan Yan.

Speaker 6 (52:54):
Yan Yan.
It's been translated Ruby Ruby.
That is extremely cute.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
Is it because they're using only no?

Speaker 1 (53:02):
preservatives.
Oh, maybe Is that Nutella.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
And we're just used to America's poison food.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
It does not taste like beautiful precious Nutella,
or if Kate's going to change it.

Speaker 6 (53:10):
Squid Black ink Squid .
This is cute.
This would be a cute kid'sthing.
You want to try that chocolate?
Because I don't want to do that, I'll try it.
I'll eat one of the cookies.
I'll try it.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
Darwin Let Yep.

Speaker 11 (53:24):
Cow Moo Moo.
What's a?
U, but it's M-U-U-U-U-U Moo.

Speaker 6 (53:33):
It's a Malaysian cow, it's a Malaysian cat, it's a
Malaysian cow.

Speaker 11 (53:38):
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
Look how far it could go.
You would think you could goall the way down.
You can't.

Speaker 8 (53:44):
Oh what oh.
They cheaped out, can't.
Oh what oh?

Speaker 11 (53:48):
they cheaped out.
They cheaped out, bro.
Wow, cheater the.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Malaysian cow says moo Moo.

Speaker 11 (53:53):
Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Not bad Not bad.
Alright.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
Pass that around.

Speaker 6 (53:56):
Not bad.

Speaker 5 (53:57):
Did I miss anything, yeah?

Speaker 11 (54:01):
All the little sticks have little animals and
some the vagina chips are spicy.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Yeah, that too Bat only in the night.

Speaker 11 (54:08):
Spicy vagina.
That's why it smells like that.
It is bb is it nutella?

Speaker 6 (54:19):
no it's like chocolate I dig it I love it do
you know those like panda orlittle koala cookies that are
hollow but they're filled withchocolate?
No, you know what?

Speaker 1 (54:32):
I'm talking about.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
Is it like that kind of chocolate Panda?

Speaker 6 (54:35):
Maybe, I don't know Similar.
Do you have a Michelob?

Speaker 11 (54:38):
Do you have a Michelob on your?

Speaker 6 (54:39):
table?

Speaker 1 (54:39):
We don't have a Michelob.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
We got.
Topo Chico's, I think.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
We have Topo Chico's and we have Dos Equis, lime and
salt.

Speaker 11 (54:47):
Dos Equis, por favor , dos Equis, he don't like salt.

Speaker 6 (54:50):
You're not an advocate, he could be.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I got a PGA.
Be right back.

Speaker 11 (54:55):
Depends on who's asking, don't miss me.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
How do I get out of here?

Speaker 11 (54:59):
Get out, go through the wall Out.
Hey Shane, honestly.
Thank you for your service,thank you, thank you, thank you,
and I'm glad it's Friday andshe went into the Air Force.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
Thank you for your service yes, thank you for your
service.
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (55:17):
I always forget about you my, it's okay, dad wouldn't
let me is uh my parents told meto get the fuck out yeah, I was
there.

Speaker 11 (55:25):
I was like oh, eso es malo.

Speaker 6 (55:28):
This is so bad, but I want this little brown boy.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
All I know is TGIF, oh yeah.

Speaker 11 (55:36):
Oh, that's my dance right there.
Yes, oh yeah, those are goodhips right there.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
Oh, whoa, oh, what Ew .

Speaker 11 (55:52):
She knows how to party.
No, ma'am, mm-hmm, whose sluttyGrammy is that?

Speaker 4 (56:02):
Someone get your meme off.

Speaker 11 (56:04):
Someone's Grammy is slutty.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
I think we just saw future taylor lee.
I have to show that when shecomes back oh hey, the trump
dance little arms.

Speaker 11 (56:18):
What so simple yeah so simple.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Oh my god you need to tell david that his white man
dance is almost a Trump dance.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
Or it is.
Maybe that's what he does.

Speaker 5 (56:33):
Conspiracy, salud.
Is it good?
What else we got?

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Oh, what's up?
Well, she's back now.
Taylor Lee, I got a chickenvideo.

Speaker 8 (56:49):
Oh yeah, taylor.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Yeah, we just found future you.

Speaker 11 (56:56):
Future Taylor Right now.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
Oh, here Sliding into Friday life, I dig it, oh, oh.

Speaker 8 (57:16):
She might come all over her.

Speaker 6 (57:19):
Oh no.
What's that movie when he putsit in his hair?
What about Mary?

Speaker 11 (57:26):
Grammy got the itch.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
I hope I don't.

Speaker 3 (57:31):
But I have a video that I've titled.
Chicken Guy for the chickenowners.
I don't remember what it is.
Hey, I'm at.

Speaker 10 (57:40):
Chicken Guy and I'm at Guy Fieri's place, Fieri
Fieri.
You know it depends on how youspell it and how you say it.
But swear to God, two chickensandwiches, two waters, $75.
What Fuck this?
Guy oh fuck this guy I didn'thear anything.
They're a dollar a piece.

(58:01):
Fuck you Guy.
Fuck you Guy.

Speaker 11 (58:04):
So he said two sandwiches for $75.

Speaker 10 (58:08):
These places are closing left and right.
This guy's a complete piece ofshit, Go fuck yourself.

Speaker 5 (58:13):
He said go fuck this guy.

Speaker 10 (58:14):
I love it.
He is mad.

Speaker 11 (58:16):
He's mad $75?

Speaker 6 (58:18):
I've never heard anybody talk bad about him.
Well damn if he charges $75 fortwo sandwiches.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
That is very good, but my thing, is you had the
menu you could have just said Idon't want to spend that much,
I'm out.
Maybe it didn't have the priceson it.
I doubt it when I heard thebill, I would have said peace.

Speaker 5 (58:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (58:38):
A chicken sandwich.

Speaker 6 (58:39):
Does it come with?

Speaker 11 (58:41):
a full body massage and you drive me home after A
happy ending.

Speaker 6 (58:45):
Do I get a happy ending?
Because damn yes, please Doesit come with yes, please.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Zaddy.
Oh no, oh, dan Taylor, danTaylor.

Speaker 4 (58:54):
So, after Veterans Day oh, so are you, are you?

Speaker 3 (58:56):
going to suck it, whoa Suck it.
A next good holiday is.

Speaker 7 (59:00):
Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Well depends on better than Turkey.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Day.

Speaker 4 (59:13):
But I'm just saying we gotta remember this.
What is this?

Speaker 3 (59:17):
About Thanksgiving.

Speaker 11 (59:20):
Baby come and stuff my turkey Baby, come and stuff
my turkey.

Speaker 9 (59:24):
I'm aching for a side of beef.
There's a sale at the fishmarket that angle is just so
unflattering without the meatman.
I want to put that pig in ablanket wow and I'm warming up
the apple pie.
If you want to get a littlefruity, I'll feed you grapes

(59:44):
right off the vine.
Sexy thanksgiving is the besttime of year.
Wash it down with some tang anda beer, nibble on my juicy
thighs and don't forget to dropa nut in the pie.
Bro, Thanksgiving is good.
I want a banana split.

(01:00:05):
You can eat a peach for hourstonight.
I'll suck the corn right offthe cob.
You'll get a watermelon sugarhigh.
My ham needs a good glazing.
Macaroni needs a stirrin' inthe pot.

Speaker 8 (01:00:21):
Okay.

Speaker 9 (01:00:22):
I got an all-you-can-eat kind of spread.

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:00:25):
And I think you're gonna like it a lot.
Thanksgiving is the best timeof year.
Oh no, you, you're gonna likeit a lot.
Thanksgiving is the best timeof year.
Oh no, you dropped one.
Watch it down with some gingeryeah, they good.
Nibble all my juicy dogs.

Speaker 12 (01:00:36):
And don't forget to drop a nut in the pile
Thanksgiving is good.

Speaker 9 (01:00:42):
I am thankful every day for the way your sausage
tastes.
I could sit and count myblessings or sip my roast beef
on your face.

Speaker 8 (01:00:54):
Damn Geraldine.

Speaker 11 (01:00:56):
She's speaking my language.
Public speaker 101 right there,amen.

Speaker 6 (01:01:05):
I need Geraldine and Teeth Guy.
These are good, these are Guyto hook up.
These are good these are goodOreos.
They're like Oreo and milk.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
These are good, mixed down whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Which ones wherever those are from, they're good
100% oh, 100% or 100% they'repretty good, they're good man
did you guys like

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
it.
Oh no, it's hollow.
It's got honey milk, I think,or something.
That cute little character,what's that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
Vanilla, vanilla.

Speaker 11 (01:01:29):
That's supposed to be a straw Hang on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Ew Is that beer?

Speaker 11 (01:01:34):
Hey, don't judge me.

Speaker 6 (01:01:35):
Oh, I'm judging.
We both did.
Why don't you fuck up your beer?

Speaker 11 (01:01:38):
Bro, you could.

Speaker 7 (01:01:40):
Yeah, bro.

Speaker 6 (01:01:41):
Have you had one of those Oreo Coke Zeros Ew?

Speaker 8 (01:01:47):
What?
What do I look like?

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
It is so confusing because it's not bad, but it's
not good.

Speaker 11 (01:01:52):
Like a diet soda.

Speaker 7 (01:01:53):
I mean you do have a choker on.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
This is Molly's choker.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
Did you?

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
put it on just for the pot.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:02:01):
Squeeze me, yeah, because you're going to see her
friend boy later Styling Friendboy.
Lincoln asked me earlier.
I said Mama Taylor's going tocome over.
You know we're going to do apodcast and then she's going to
come up with the fence.
And he's like.
I said oh, and her friend.
He said who, who?
I said Jay.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
No, we don't say his name.
God damn it.

Speaker 6 (01:02:21):
Quellen Quellen, Jaqueline.
And his immediate question waslike what's his middle name?
I said I have no idea, Jakefrom State Farm.
But that's all you want to knowabout Jake from State Farm.
What's his middle name?

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
What's his middle name?

Speaker 6 (01:02:38):
Maybe not my birthday .

Speaker 11 (01:02:39):
My birthday.

Speaker 6 (01:02:41):
You know, his perception of time is like years
.

Speaker 7 (01:02:44):
So hey, liberals, oh, and Democrats, what you think
now?

Speaker 8 (01:02:48):
buddy oh.
God Trump won all the sweetstates what it was a landslide
victory.

Speaker 9 (01:02:56):
Why are you so?
What happened?
So all my the gravitationalpull.

Speaker 8 (01:03:03):
Voters of other races that voted for Trump.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
God bless you, baby.
Are you a?
We did it.
God bless you, baby.
Are you a mother?
We did it.
We're taking America back.

Speaker 11 (01:03:12):
I don't Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
Thank you for your service.
I don't know what he's takingback.
He should take back his teeth,his weight.

Speaker 11 (01:03:23):
His penis.
We did it, america.
Come on, keep going, keep going.
Come on His penis, come on,keep going.

Speaker 7 (01:03:26):
Keep going.
Come on His penis.
What's next His gout.

Speaker 6 (01:03:29):
His gout, yes, his cholesterol.
His cholesterol His bloodpressure, his blood pressure
Clean underwear Clean underwear.
Yeah, his folds.

Speaker 11 (01:03:36):
His folds.
I think we know what his foldssmell like.
Where's that at?

Speaker 7 (01:03:41):
Hot tuna.

Speaker 11 (01:03:44):
Smell that smell that the grilled patoosey
seafood flavor.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Smell that.
You're smelling his fupa sexy,sexy, it's gross.

Speaker 11 (01:03:56):
Do you want to smell my folds?

Speaker 6 (01:04:00):
do you want to clean my folds?

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
I think right now.
I think right now we're goingto take a little intermission.
It's going to be very quickFive to seven minutes.

Speaker 11 (01:04:14):
Only takes me that she needs to poop.
No, I don't need to poop, we'rejust going to take an
intermission, I do have to pee.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
We'll get reset and we'll be back here in just a
second.

Speaker 11 (01:04:27):
I love your song.

Speaker 9 (01:04:28):
Thank you, we'll be back here in just a second.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
I love your song.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
We're back, Live baby .
Let's get this going.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
He doesn't recognize her dad.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
Good evening.
My name is Biff McMasterson andyou are watching the LUW.78.
Which is fart on your telephonedial.

(01:05:14):
Let's go.
Let's go to our reporters inthe field for some news stories,
jeff what do you have going onfor us?

Speaker 7 (01:05:30):
They're still inside searching for evidence.
I'm told six people have beenarrested and charged with intent
to possess and deliver cocaine.
I'm told as much as 44 times.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Well, hey, Jeff.

Speaker 8 (01:05:46):
They're making it laws where you can't drink when
you want to.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
You have to wear a seatbelt when you're driving.

Speaker 5 (01:05:54):
Pretty soon we're going to become this country.
Any attempt to restrictdrinking and driving here is
viewed by some as downrightundemocratic.

Speaker 6 (01:06:01):
It's kind of getting common.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
When a fella can't put in a hard day's work, put in
11, 12 hours a day and then getin your truck and at least rain
one or two beers.
Son of a bitch.

Speaker 6 (01:06:13):
Things a man gets, things that excite you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:17):
Commercial break time .

Speaker 9 (01:06:20):
A starched shirt, things that are stiff.

Speaker 3 (01:06:28):
Won $10,000.
Won ten thousand dollars I'mdone, I'm early welcome.

Speaker 8 (01:06:37):
Welcome to bill shire , good morning.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Good morning, carol airlines I don't think this heat
is very welcome at this time ofthe year.
No, but it's been nice not tohave those uh, thunder showers
in the afternoon.
That's true.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
The heat is making me as wet as the thundershowers.

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
Sharon what do you mean by that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
Chances are.
Take a shot of this.
I want you to get a shot ofthis.
Are you communist?
No, we're all Americans.
Man, you're an American, I'm anAmerican.
This is Ike Pappas at SocolowPark attempting to do a close.
Do you see what we have to gothrough?
Thank you very much.
Would you mind?
I've got 15 minutes before air.
Okay, come on really.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
Look, fellas, will you please leave us alone.
The news is hard, so am I.
I've been Biff McMasterson andthis has been L-U-W-F News Desk.
That's it.
That's a new segment.

(01:07:54):
It was me all along segment.
It was me all along.
It was me all along, guys, I'msorry guys, huh, put it on your
your hair.

Speaker 6 (01:08:00):
Yeah, I thought you're gonna put up.

Speaker 11 (01:08:03):
Oh, you want to wear the way?
Heck, yeah, let me see, I'venever had one.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
You never had what Hair.

Speaker 7 (01:08:10):
You got hair.

Speaker 11 (01:08:12):
You gotta figure that out dude.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
There you go, there you go.
If I could do a Trumpimpression, that's who I would
have just tried to do, but Ican't you want the dog.

Speaker 10 (01:08:32):
This room is excellent Overall, excellent and
beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
Beautiful people.
You're gay.

Speaker 6 (01:08:40):
Some people say it's the best.
I don't know, that's whatpeople say.

Speaker 11 (01:08:44):
Trust me, I'm the best one ever.

Speaker 7 (01:08:48):
Oh boy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:49):
Y'all ready for some funny TikToks?
Y'all really ready for toilettalks?
I have some great videos.
Me, mine.
That's the Brinley wig.
That's what I wore when Ifilmed that documentary.

(01:09:11):
Brindley Yep, that's maybe afamous wig one day.

Speaker 11 (01:09:21):
It's better than that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:23):
Really Wow, wow.

Speaker 11 (01:09:26):
Does that smell like Asian patoosie?

Speaker 6 (01:09:29):
Is it custom fitted to your head?
No, you look like the chickfrom 15 kids and counting kids
are just falling out or like canI speak to your manager?

Speaker 11 (01:09:43):
my name is Karen now please have an appetizer and
your manager hey listen, youneed more biscuits out here on
the buffet.
My name is Karen.

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
Now please have an appetizer and your manager hey,
listen, you need more biscuitsout here on the buffet.
You're out of biscuits.
You see a family of five walkin.
You get the biscuits going.
That was mom at Kentucky FriedChicken.

Speaker 8 (01:10:04):
I'm walking you, I'm walking you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
All right.

Speaker 8 (01:10:08):
Tresha I'm walking you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
All right, tresha, let's do it.

Speaker 12 (01:10:20):
Let's go full throttle.

Speaker 9 (01:10:21):
I just super daddied my pants.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
I smell, shit Did you see it, here we go.

Speaker 11 (01:10:32):
Oh, right out the corner of the fun hotel, boney,
the double-sup, triple-sup, ohmy God.

Speaker 9 (01:10:39):
Paul oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 7 (01:10:44):
Down the stairs Sounds like Badog Ba-ba,
ho-ho-ho-ho.

Speaker 4 (01:10:49):
Something's in my ass that was loud, sir.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
I think it's only that one.

Speaker 12 (01:10:57):
I'm going to space today and I'm going to the
smaller rocket, buzz Lightyear,to the rescue.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
Buzz Light Rear.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
To all the mechanics out there.
Can you please tell me why mycar is making this noise?

Speaker 3 (01:11:15):
You got to check your O2 sensor.

Speaker 9 (01:11:20):
Was that like a female quagmire.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
In case y'all need a reason to get a porch camera and
wear a helmet at all times,ouch.

Speaker 9 (01:11:37):
I am straight.

Speaker 8 (01:11:40):
I'm not gay.

Speaker 7 (01:11:43):
I'm not gay.
God, you're gay, I'm straightand I You're gay, I'm straight
and I like women and women.
Only.
There's nothing wrong withbeing gay, but I'm not.

Speaker 5 (01:12:01):
I'm not.

Speaker 7 (01:12:03):
Is he a Navi from Avatar?

Speaker 4 (01:12:05):
What.

Speaker 3 (01:12:07):
Dude, you're gay, you have no eyebrows, and why are
you sweating so bad Okay.

Speaker 11 (01:12:18):
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh no, oh no.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
Oh my god, is that what y'all did At your little
elephant overnighter?
Yeah, that's what they did allnight.
Friend boy took a dong to theface.
Wow, and it wasn't yours, itwasn't.
Yeah, that happened.

Speaker 11 (01:12:48):
Oh, is this the guy who like slaps?
Oh no, this is look at the guy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:01):
Watch the guy smile.
He's like what is this fooldoing?

Speaker 4 (01:13:06):
no one part gets really full doing.

Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
No one part gets really disturbing for me here in
just a second.
No, no, no, I would get up andI would scissor kick you in your
fucking gizzard.
Whoa, they stay at home.

(01:13:40):
Got a little tent, a little puptent.

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
And done.

Speaker 7 (01:13:54):
Boink, boink, boink, boink.

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
Ow Ow, I should have clipped this Worth that.
Oh my god, it's Jason Bourne.

Speaker 6 (01:14:19):
Yes, I don't know.
Is that money?
What Is he?
A Nazi?

Speaker 4 (01:14:27):
Casey I don't know there is something so healing
about this he had Chuck E Cheesetokens.

Speaker 7 (01:14:31):
By the leaves and the trees and just taking a moment,
I am healed.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
He took an epic bong.
Rip Mom, I can do a doublebackflip.
No, you can't.
I kind of find it funny whenkids get hurt.

Speaker 6 (01:14:55):
Do not hurt yourself.
No, do not hurt yourself?

Speaker 8 (01:15:01):
What are you doing?
Picking up?

Speaker 4 (01:15:09):
dog shit.
What kind of video games doesLincoln say dad plays?

Speaker 6 (01:15:13):
Lincoln says dad plays Kill Motherfuckers.
Oh no, daddy, she's playingKill Motherfuckers again.
I said okay, don't say thatonly in the house what does that

(01:15:34):
say?

Speaker 11 (01:15:34):
coming what?

Speaker 9 (01:15:34):
coming, my asshole, you're sick.
Thank you, mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:15:46):
Is that better?
I think everyone has been.

Speaker 11 (01:15:52):
You've been talking to yourself, good sir.

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
It still picked it up , I think.

Speaker 11 (01:15:58):
Oh no.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
This is going to go badly, oh, I think.
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:16:02):
No, this is going to go badly, no, no.

Speaker 6 (01:16:06):
Yes.

Speaker 11 (01:16:06):
Oh, why, though?
And that's why women livelonger why is that?

Speaker 6 (01:16:10):
part of your body.
Why?

Speaker 3 (01:16:13):
Why did it sound so loud?
What did he just set off Asound, and, yeah, that didn't
feel good.
I don't think.

Speaker 1 (01:16:23):
Not with that face.
Pop his cherry too, will it?

Speaker 6 (01:16:27):
Is it like a rite of passage or something?
What do?

Speaker 11 (01:16:29):
they think I missed that one.

Speaker 7 (01:16:32):
So I'm going to get you to say the alphabet
backwards, from Z to A.
Whoa.

Speaker 11 (01:16:37):
He's stuck in the simulation.

Speaker 7 (01:16:39):
Well, me neither.
Can you just put the lightsaberaway for us first the
lightsaber.

Speaker 9 (01:16:45):
Oh, it's retractable, Is it?
Oh, oh.

Speaker 8 (01:16:51):
Oh, god oh.

Speaker 3 (01:16:52):
God, yes, it's going to go in your butt.

Speaker 5 (01:16:57):
I got it, I'll get it .

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
I got it.
Shit I got.
I'll get it.
I got Shit.

Speaker 7 (01:17:00):
I got it, damn it, I got it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Speaker 7 (01:17:04):
Hell no.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
I can't X.

Speaker 11 (01:17:07):
Z X, damn, you failed, you drunk, you drunk
girl.

Speaker 8 (01:17:12):
I am not, I'm sober.

Speaker 4 (01:17:16):
I got Z Y X.
That is such a dumb question.

Speaker 3 (01:17:19):
I feel like they're just trying to get you.
I don't know what I would sayif they really thought I was
drunk which I don't drink anddrive but if they thought, I
don't either and they said canyou say the alphabet backwards?
I think I would have to go youdo it first.

Speaker 4 (01:17:40):
Let me see how you can do it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:42):
Spell it Spell it backwards.
But he said can you say thealphabet backwards from?

Speaker 4 (01:17:50):
Z to.

Speaker 3 (01:17:51):
A, that's what the cop said.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Some people say Z for Z who.
Some people In FloridaSocialists.
Yeah is that in Florida?

Speaker 11 (01:17:59):
Thank you for your service.

Speaker 8 (01:18:01):
Damn, I've never heard of them.

Speaker 11 (01:18:05):
Oh yeah, she shit herself.

Speaker 4 (01:18:07):
Spiritual.

Speaker 1 (01:18:15):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:18:17):
The correction oh.

Speaker 6 (01:18:19):
I'm so afraid of that .

Speaker 11 (01:18:21):
Yeah, one in the chamber, one in the chamber and
fourth, place the squirrel oh.

Speaker 4 (01:18:30):
He said shit.

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
Oh my god, the bench clench.

Speaker 5 (01:18:43):
Oh no, that forehead though.

Speaker 3 (01:18:45):
Get it, dude.
That's a big one.
Get it, dude, you do it.
One time he could shoot hisface, oh god.

Speaker 11 (01:18:51):
That's a lot of torque, is that his dick Right?

Speaker 5 (01:18:54):
over his face.

Speaker 11 (01:18:54):
Yeah, see, that's my nightmare.
Somebody just teabagged me.

Speaker 6 (01:19:01):
They're squealing like girls.
And you know when people laugh,they go like weak.

Speaker 11 (01:19:15):
Oh no.

Speaker 6 (01:19:17):
It's winking action Whisperin'.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
I's winking, actually Spring is winking, oh good
morning lady.
Chicken dance.

Speaker 11 (01:19:27):
And done.
Why does it look like that?

Speaker 7 (01:19:30):
Why is it winking?
You just watched the entirevideo.

Speaker 5 (01:19:35):
The entire.
Thing.

Speaker 7 (01:19:38):
What did you expect to happen?
I don't know what happened isexactly.
Did you expect to happen?
I don't know.
What happened is exactly whatyou expected to happen and you
watched the entire video.

Speaker 11 (01:19:46):
You're right, taylor , you're sick.
What your family's worried?

Speaker 8 (01:19:52):
about you Stop watching weird shit on the
internet.
But I can't, yeah, taylor.

Speaker 6 (01:19:57):
Is that Geraldine's brother internet?
But I can, yeah Taylor, help.
It Is that Geraldine's brother.

Speaker 11 (01:20:02):
Yo, oh my God, metal .
That's Molly on the playground.
That's Molly right there.

Speaker 8 (01:20:09):
Molly, god damn, son of a bitch.
That's me Fucking thing.

Speaker 10 (01:20:15):
God damn it.
Fuck.
That's me on my office.

Speaker 11 (01:20:19):
That's me on my office get the fuck out.

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
I'm on meetings at work and I have to double triple
check my mute button on my mic.

Speaker 9 (01:20:32):
I do if I'm cussing and I'm like you, dumb
motherfucker, I don't really dothat if you're having a bad day,
just remember there's somebodyout there pulling a door that
says push.

Speaker 5 (01:20:44):
Oh, that's me.

Speaker 8 (01:20:45):
Taylor.

Speaker 5 (01:20:45):
That's me.

Speaker 6 (01:20:50):
You're doing great.
That's me too.
Oh, oh, sexy, sexy, oh, thepatoosie.

Speaker 11 (01:20:58):
Right in the clam.

Speaker 8 (01:20:59):
Ow, not the patoosie ow not the patoosie how sweet
that was trick boy, wait aminute, replay that hang on one
second.

Speaker 3 (01:21:12):
What?
Hold on one second hold on,just to make sure first, hotel
room together.

Speaker 11 (01:21:19):
I'm leaving pregnant .
What Hold on?
Hold on One second.
Hold on, just to make sure.
First hotel room together.
I'm leaving, right, right.

Speaker 4 (01:21:24):
Okay, yo.

Speaker 3 (01:21:29):
It's what I thought.

Speaker 11 (01:21:30):
I saw.
Well, in this time of age youcan't assume Fuck around.

Speaker 12 (01:21:34):
Fuck around, fuck around, fuck around, fuck around
.

Speaker 11 (01:21:40):
Fuck around.

Speaker 8 (01:21:41):
Yo, that's Molly Doo.

Speaker 2 (01:21:44):
It's called the Dank Tank.
It's a mobile hotbox.
You can see it's got an AC uniton it and it's a trailer.
So what they'll do is pull itup to a party or wherever you
want to be where you can't smokeinside and you'll hotbox in the
Dank Tank.
So it's like a mobile rentalhotbox.

Speaker 3 (01:21:59):
That's fucking brilliant.

Speaker 10 (01:22:02):
With the blow-up nightclub.

Speaker 9 (01:22:04):
They have blow-up nightclubs, yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:22:06):
And they're so cool, and a dank tank.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
We're getting a dank tank.

Speaker 8 (01:22:10):
For my 50th birthday.
Oh yeah, When's?

Speaker 6 (01:22:12):
that, oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:22:14):
Five minutes In five minutes, two weeks.
You're every 50 in two weeks.

Speaker 4 (01:22:19):
No oh.

Speaker 6 (01:22:21):
He'll be 48.

Speaker 1 (01:22:21):
48.

Speaker 6 (01:22:22):
Oh Well, we got to wait two years.
Fuck that, he's going to be abig boy.

Speaker 11 (01:22:26):
Is that too long?

Speaker 8 (01:22:26):
There'll be no world then, yikes.

Speaker 11 (01:22:28):
Come on.

Speaker 4 (01:22:29):
Oh.

Speaker 11 (01:22:46):
Vianna it's a little girl, girl, vianna Vianna
confidence oh no, oh, mr Fulton,yo look at that chin, oh shit
okay, I didn't see that comingsomething tells me you did.

Speaker 6 (01:23:07):
That's not the first time that's the kind of selfie
Shane sent me the day of ourfirst date.

Speaker 11 (01:23:16):
You did Sexy, it was pretty bad.

Speaker 6 (01:23:18):
Sexy, I didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:23:23):
Did you get all ready and then you were like when I
open my camera on my phone, andit's always forward facing.
I'm down here and I'm like andthen all the photos or the
videos I post on TikTok.
I'll start the video here andI'm like oh fuck.

Speaker 6 (01:23:46):
No, so I immediately took that picture to my friend
Emily and said please tell methat this is just a bad picture.

Speaker 2 (01:23:51):
You said, I did not go on this date.

Speaker 6 (01:23:53):
Because all the other pictures I have of him are not
this and I have not met this manin person.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
Do you remember?
It was like y'all's third dateor something that we were all
there.

Speaker 10 (01:24:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:24:03):
We were Dave and Buster's.
Yeah, it was oh, yeah, yeahbecause I thought Melinda was
one of your sisters.

Speaker 11 (01:24:08):
That's right.
Yeah, one of the sisters.
I thought, I was one of thesisters Hello.
What's your name?

Speaker 7 (01:24:18):
Oh, how pretty of you .

Speaker 9 (01:24:22):
We were like we like her.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
My mom didn't like it when we said fart.

Speaker 7 (01:24:25):
And my dad Called them panty burps.
So a little bit differentParenting styles from the two of
them.

Speaker 6 (01:24:35):
That's why that person Looks like that.

Speaker 7 (01:24:38):
Explain why.

Speaker 11 (01:24:39):
Panty, burps.

Speaker 7 (01:24:41):
Growing up my mom didn't like it when we said fart
and my dad called them pantyburps.
So a little bit differentparenting styles from the two of
them.

Speaker 11 (01:24:53):
That's very disturbing.

Speaker 8 (01:24:55):
So uh.
I guess my girl forgot that Ihad cameras in the house.
Uh-oh, and what I seen her dotoday broke my heart.

Speaker 2 (01:25:07):
Why are you punching, are you?

Speaker 11 (01:25:13):
farting Nice.

Speaker 3 (01:25:16):
Nice Because she went , mmm.

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
Every girl does that.
Really everybody does iteverybody listen, listen.

Speaker 11 (01:25:29):
I don't get no cooter shots.

Speaker 6 (01:25:33):
Leave my hair alone to keep the hair, talking about
farts or cooter shots.

Speaker 11 (01:25:37):
Either way, I don't get none.

Speaker 6 (01:25:40):
Oh, whatever, whatever, you're full of crap.
We wouldn't be married if youweren't getting nothing.
Yeah, you don't get no tootercooter.

Speaker 11 (01:25:47):
The penny burps.
Oh, is it getting the pennyburps?

Speaker 4 (01:25:49):
I can't take this anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
What's tooter?
Cooter and penny burps.
That's what you look like Camwith the glasses on.

Speaker 7 (01:26:04):
So, if anybody, If anybody, my name is.

Speaker 11 (01:26:07):
Yolanda.

Speaker 3 (01:26:09):
If anybody really wants to know why Trump.

Speaker 11 (01:26:17):
Yolanda.

Speaker 3 (01:26:20):
Why Trump won in a landslide.
Okay, okay, it's because ofthis lady.
What did she say?

Speaker 11 (01:26:26):
handle it okay.

Speaker 1 (01:26:29):
So we're closing in on almost 5 pm eastern time.
Everything that's been going onacross the country today, and
my most important encounter waswhen I went out to get my
champagne.
I was talking to the guy in thestore, of course, asking him

(01:26:50):
did he vote?
And he said he did early voting.
And he asked me if I earlyvoted.
And he asked me you know why Iwas getting the champagne?
And I said because I'm going tobe toasting, madam President,
tonight.
And he just looked at me withkind of like a smirk on his face
and I said you know she's goingto win this right.

(01:27:11):
And he says oh well, it's very,very close.
And I said no, it's not.
He says well, what do you mean?
I said no, it's not.
The women of America are makingtheir voices heard.
Reproductive rights is what itall comes down to, and the women
are voting in numbers relativeto men that are unbelievable.
She's won this and I said tohim she's going to take every

(01:27:32):
one of the swing states plusIowa.
And he said oh, but the numbersare so close.
I said I'm a political analyst.
I'm telling you right now thenumbers.
Sounds like she's talking a lot.
Political analyst and I said tohim you realize, and he didn't
tell me who he voted for, but ofcourse I knew and I said you do

(01:27:52):
realize you wasted your vote,right, she likes, and I didn't
care, I walked out with my mom.

Speaker 11 (01:27:58):
She needs some moisture on her neck.

Speaker 1 (01:28:00):
She happily walked home.

Speaker 11 (01:28:01):
Her face is like, very like.

Speaker 3 (01:28:04):
And I bet you were crying later on.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 11 (01:28:08):
So I didn't hear that.
So what happened?
That was a minute and 35 secondvideo.

Speaker 3 (01:28:13):
So this lady was very pretentious and huge Kamala
supporter, whatever Good on her.
And then she's like well, youknow, I'm watching the election
and Kamala is just running awaywith it.

(01:28:33):
And so I went ahead and went tothe store and I'm checking out
with my champagne, you mean?

Speaker 11 (01:28:41):
the champagne.

Speaker 3 (01:28:42):
And the clerk was like, oh, what are you
celebrating?
And she's like, oh, I'm goingto be making a toast to Madam
President.

Speaker 5 (01:28:49):
Madam and he was like oh oh okay, is it?

Speaker 3 (01:28:54):
how close, is it or something?
And he was like well, trump'swinning no you said, the numbers
are super close.
Yeah, they're super close andshe goes no, no, they're not.

Speaker 8 (01:29:08):
They're not.
And what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:29:12):
I'm a political analyst.
Analyst.
I'm a political analyst, so youwasted your vote bud you look
like to not to not, it's not aface, mom it's not a face, mom.

Speaker 4 (01:29:33):
This is who I am you should get the glasses, the
sunglasses you look like an.

Speaker 1 (01:29:40):
American dad when Roger dresses.

Speaker 6 (01:29:43):
When Roger wears the wigs Stan.

Speaker 7 (01:29:47):
Stan.

Speaker 11 (01:29:48):
Listen, I have a great idea, oh baby farts, baby
farts, I love baby farts.

Speaker 8 (01:29:57):
Here we go.
I'll sound them out so you canhear it.

Speaker 4 (01:29:59):
Okay, please.

Speaker 7 (01:30:05):
Oh wow, can I just say change his diaper.

Speaker 3 (01:30:16):
It's a long one.
He can't hear you doing that.
I'm doing it for him.
I can have a long one.

Speaker 8 (01:30:20):
He can't hear you doing that.
I'm doing it for him.
I can have a weird face.

Speaker 6 (01:30:27):
Oh, it's like a motorcycle.
Yeah, thanks.

Speaker 3 (01:30:32):
Oh, a little.

Speaker 11 (01:30:35):
Oh, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:30:37):
That's a happy face.
I get that face.
You know that feels good.
Oh, yeah, I get that face.

Speaker 12 (01:30:40):
You know that feels, good.

Speaker 11 (01:30:42):
Oh yeah, the pressure Is that popcorn Nope
COVID.

Speaker 3 (01:30:50):
COVID, that's how it started.

Speaker 1 (01:30:56):
Jess, oh wow.
Hey, you want to tell your mamaif you're sick.

Speaker 11 (01:31:02):
Oh wow, hey, you want to tell your mama if you're
sick, oh whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:31:07):
Oh, look at this evil .
Look, that's how Mel looks whenshe farts.

Speaker 10 (01:31:12):
Oh my.

Speaker 4 (01:31:13):
God Okay he's laughing.

Speaker 10 (01:31:14):
Okay, we're good.

Speaker 3 (01:31:20):
All right Interesting , that's all your farts.

Speaker 1 (01:31:24):
That's all your farts , that's all the farts.

Speaker 11 (01:31:28):
I love them and thank you for interpreting.

Speaker 1 (01:31:33):
You're welcome.
Interpreted fart dance.
People did not choose grocery.

Speaker 11 (01:31:36):
I was looking at Casey's face the whole entire
time.

Speaker 9 (01:31:38):
You were doing it too .

Speaker 3 (01:31:39):
Oh, taylor, you said you were going to be.
You know you're kind of scaredafter the election results.
Oh yeah, see, if this helps, Idon't know.

Speaker 12 (01:31:49):
People did not choose grocery prices over your
human rights.
People chose grocery pricesover your delusions that your
rights were being taken away inthe first place.
Nobody is taking away yourrights.
Trump was already president andhe didn't take away gay
marriage.
He didn't enact a nationalabortion ban.
So stop scolding working classpeople because they didn't

(01:32:10):
prioritize your delusions overtheir ability to put food on the
table.
The people who talk so muchabout privilege don't seem to
understand what a privilegedposition it is to be in to be
able to prioritize your owndelusions that your rights are
being taken away, to be able toprioritize that over your
ability to put food on the table.

(01:32:30):
I see so many people doinganything but reflecting on why
the Democrat Party's message wassuch a resounding failure with
the American people thiselection cycle.
This was a sweeping red wavebecause people are tired of
prioritizing fake issues.
People are tired of coddlingadults who demand that everybody
prioritize their feelings overeveryone else's ability to feed

(01:32:53):
themselves.

Speaker 11 (01:32:56):
It looked very energetic.

Speaker 7 (01:32:57):
I think he's really hungry.

Speaker 1 (01:32:59):
I get it.
His voice is so nice yeah, hehad a really long face like
really long

Speaker 9 (01:33:05):
prioritizing food on your table a really small
forehead so you gotta beproportionate with a.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
With a like his eyes were like pretty close too, oh
yeah do y'all want to hang outand friend boy come over, or no?

Speaker 2 (01:33:18):
hey, or do you want us to just go?

Speaker 6 (01:33:19):
home or done now he's gonna be on this what's her
name?

Speaker 3 (01:33:23):
well, we'll probably wrap up we got our, we got our
tiktok bachelors and and thenwe'll close out the show.

Speaker 11 (01:33:36):
So oh yeah, wait, but there's a friend boy.
How does that work?
Oh no, it's still opening forthe market I'm polyamorous.

Speaker 6 (01:33:46):
Oh, are you probably who?
I don't know polyamorouspolyamory good morning.

Speaker 9 (01:33:53):
Julia material that's my period.

Speaker 5 (01:33:55):
Let's hang out got a big beaver free country, man big
beaver not, do you got a bigbeaver Free country man, she's
got a big beaver.

Speaker 6 (01:34:00):
Do you not?
Do you got a big beaver?
Uh-uh, that's how.

Speaker 11 (01:34:04):
I found her.
Yes, how many pounds is it?

Speaker 6 (01:34:06):
Two shacks Ah Roasts, oops.

Speaker 5 (01:34:08):
Oops, I'm drilling George Foreman style George
Foreman.

Speaker 12 (01:34:14):
Mother's word.

Speaker 7 (01:34:21):
She got the big one check this thing out.
We got it loaded down with guystwo wieners, we got everything
we need.

Speaker 5 (01:34:23):
Well, I guess the only thing he knows how to party
, that's you, okay, so grab yourfavorite cider salad.
Who knows, you know, maybemother will let you.
Mother Kiss the cook, kiss thecook Sexy.

Speaker 10 (01:34:51):
He's definitely a taker.

Speaker 7 (01:34:54):
Blessings, blessings.

Speaker 6 (01:34:55):
He's so funny oh here we go, hey lady, if lady like a
guy who'll give your lower liplots of lovin.

Speaker 2 (01:35:04):
I'm your what is he saying?

Speaker 6 (01:35:06):
lower lips.
Lovin, a proper lovin, no, yourlower lips your lower lips a
proper lovin talking about yourbeaver, your beaver.
He's talking about your beaver.
He has that nose, I mean.

Speaker 11 (01:35:17):
I think that's thank you well it could be a
compliment like hey, what's inthere?
Hey, ladies.

Speaker 3 (01:35:23):
If you're looking for a guy that'll give you lower
lips of lovin'.

Speaker 11 (01:35:27):
I don't like it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:29):
How about this?

Speaker 1 (01:35:30):
How about Elvis Joe I feel like that's your mom's
boyfriend.

Speaker 10 (01:35:35):
Fucking dead Ricky Hi.

Speaker 6 (01:35:37):
Richard, he's got a shovel, ricky Richard he's got a
shovel it's hooked to his glasshold on

Speaker 3 (01:35:52):
is that our dad cleaning out that one room?
Is that why it's taking him solong?

Speaker 6 (01:35:56):
no, that's why he's taking him so long.
One for the money, two for theshow, one for the money.

Speaker 3 (01:36:02):
No, that's why he's shimmying.
He's trying to stay up.
One for the money, two for Joe.

Speaker 8 (01:36:10):
Joe what?

Speaker 5 (01:36:12):
are you talking about Glasses?
What Sexy.

Speaker 11 (01:36:17):
Why are these guys single?
They should be first dibs.

Speaker 3 (01:36:24):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:36:25):
Thank you, thank you so much, yes, yes.

Speaker 5 (01:36:35):
Looks like you caught me jamming.

Speaker 3 (01:36:36):
He really likes Taylor Ew.

Speaker 5 (01:36:38):
Ooh Taylor.
He really likes Taylor.
Ew, ooh Taylor.

Speaker 11 (01:36:41):
He likes talking to her lower lips.

Speaker 5 (01:36:43):
I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
, I like it, I like it, I likeit, I like it, I like it, I like
it, I like it, I like it, Ilike it.

Speaker 4 (01:36:54):
I like it.

Speaker 5 (01:36:55):
He's stuck in with that bandana right there, but
she still doesn't end with theband, so I guess she's getting
backstage passes.

Speaker 8 (01:37:05):
You know who that reminds?

Speaker 5 (01:37:06):
me of.
So if you're interested in anight at a rock show, okay.

Speaker 6 (01:37:11):
He has a mouth like that.

Speaker 5 (01:37:13):
Do a little air guitar during the guitar cells.
Make it look like we're theones playing.

Speaker 6 (01:37:19):
That sounds good, we've got plans.

Speaker 5 (01:37:24):
Tokyo.

Speaker 11 (01:37:25):
Oh my God.

Speaker 6 (01:37:27):
Yo, not the Tokyo, not the tune in Tokyo.

Speaker 11 (01:37:30):
Oh, remember what I said.

Speaker 6 (01:37:30):
What do you call it?
The tune in Tokyo?
What do you call it?
Maybe Japanese radio, japanese?

Speaker 5 (01:37:35):
radio.
It was good living with you, ohyou better radio.

Speaker 8 (01:37:43):
It was good we're living with you yo that forearm
though she's in four arms, lookat that who's he?

Speaker 6 (01:37:57):
talking to right now his mom his mom boy boy.

Speaker 7 (01:38:01):
I am Cobras.
Cobras and babies will tear youup what's his tiger shirt?

Speaker 11 (01:38:09):
I like how he fights , watch right here whoa he's
Roger as the punk me he's arobot, he's not a robot.

Speaker 6 (01:38:18):
You don't think I'm.
He's a killing machine.
I don't know, he's a rock androll robot.

Speaker 7 (01:38:21):
He's a killing machine.

Speaker 11 (01:38:23):
He's a killing machine.

Speaker 8 (01:38:24):
Oh yes, Baby, you're my angel.
You're just a false man.

Speaker 3 (01:38:31):
For our first date.
I'm taking a couple stairs.
The humidity in here went down.

Speaker 8 (01:38:36):
Hey, he's mental health as a priority Is this.

Speaker 3 (01:38:40):
Guy Fieri Fuck your chicken sandwiches.
Guy, fuck you.
Guy Fuck you.

Speaker 8 (01:38:46):
Guy.

Speaker 3 (01:38:47):
It's a cute dress.
Oh, thank you.
Wonder what it would look likeon my floor, nice Floor of my
trailer.

Speaker 5 (01:38:55):
Park next to the river.

Speaker 7 (01:38:56):
Cumberland River, love the name Cumberland.
Cumberland River, love the name.

Speaker 11 (01:39:01):
Cumberland, cumberland First three letters.

Speaker 8 (01:39:05):
That's why Nice Cumberland.

Speaker 6 (01:39:07):
Cumberland.
We didn't get it.
Oh, clifton, clifton, ohClifton, you pick up girls fast
oh.

Speaker 11 (01:39:16):
It's like that, granny.

Speaker 6 (01:39:18):
Is he a down center?

Speaker 9 (01:39:19):
Maybe, maybe Not.
It's like that, granny.

Speaker 11 (01:39:21):
Not with those moves .

Speaker 8 (01:39:25):
Nice Clifton, oh no.

Speaker 7 (01:39:30):
Let me know if you're a sexy animal and I will let
others know as well If you wouldlike me to.
Alright later, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:39:37):
Yes.

Speaker 6 (01:39:38):
Find the stop button Nice, like me too.
Alright, later y'all.

Speaker 7 (01:39:40):
Yes, what Find the stop?

Speaker 8 (01:39:42):
button Nice.
Let me know if you're a sexyanimal and I'll let others know
too.

Speaker 11 (01:39:50):
He's tall, wow, he's tall.
Look how tall he is compared tothe door.
The door is so small Yo, that'sa full hand.
The door is so small Yo, that'sa full hand.
That's a thrusting machine.
You saw that it's tiny, it's abig ass, motherfucker.

Speaker 3 (01:40:13):
Smooth corner right there.
That dude was super tall.
Or what kind of shit was hebuilt out of that?

Speaker 8 (01:40:17):
was a tree house or something.
He had a tree house orsomething.

Speaker 6 (01:40:24):
Jesus oh.

Speaker 8 (01:40:27):
Does he have a wrist brace?
I couldn't.

Speaker 3 (01:40:30):
What's happened to Matt Carpenter?
Oh?
No, oh no, or is that theirbuddy, mikey?
I can't tell.

Speaker 10 (01:40:38):
I can't tell either.

Speaker 8 (01:40:41):
Oh no.

Speaker 6 (01:40:51):
The only thing he brings to the table is his
criminal record.
Yikes Yo who's that oh damn Seewho's this though, who is it
Alex and Chase?

Speaker 1 (01:41:00):
Oh damn, see those boots, though.
What was it?
Alex and Chase, alex and ChaseHell yeah, look at those hips,
they're good.

Speaker 8 (01:41:07):
No hip replacements, ow, oh, I mean.

Speaker 6 (01:41:11):
Wow, wow, hey move's pretty good.

Speaker 11 (01:41:13):
That's a lot of moves.

Speaker 6 (01:41:15):
Oh boy, yes, he's on it Less.

Speaker 8 (01:41:17):
Oh boy, yes, he's on it.

Speaker 5 (01:41:20):
With the election going on, I thought I would take
this opportunity just toformally announce my candidacy.

Speaker 4 (01:41:28):
For your heart.

Speaker 5 (01:41:30):
For your lover.
I'm hoping to become your chiefromance officer.
Chief romance officer I'mrunning on the platform of long
walks on sandy beaches, whoaLots of dinners at reasonably
priced restaurants oh okay,reasonably priced, uninterrupted
eye contact Ew.
I'm cast about by just givingme the old what was that.

Speaker 11 (01:41:57):
Can you do it one more time?
Can you go?

Speaker 6 (01:41:59):
back, please go back, please go back.

Speaker 11 (01:42:11):
I'm loving this.
I look forward to taking office.

Speaker 5 (01:42:16):
Taking office I'm Steven Stevenson.
I approve this message.

Speaker 3 (01:42:21):
Steven Stevenson you wouldn't even have to change
your last name.

Speaker 1 (01:42:27):
That's easy that's true, oh, winky man.

Speaker 8 (01:42:31):
Winky man, he's my favorite.
He's back got it yo that hairthough that mustache.

Speaker 10 (01:42:40):
Hey, he's back, got it.
Yo Got hair, though Gotmustache.

Speaker 6 (01:42:44):
Ah, oh, I thought you grabbed a snipple.

Speaker 9 (01:42:50):
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:42:57):
I get it, I would leave me for him.

Speaker 4 (01:42:59):
Is it a man or a woman?
I would leave me for him.
Is it a man or a?

Speaker 3 (01:43:00):
woman.

Speaker 11 (01:43:01):
I might leave you for him.

Speaker 4 (01:43:03):
That's testosterone coming out of his ears.

Speaker 3 (01:43:06):
Hit me up, buddy, I want to try your nuts.

Speaker 10 (01:43:09):
Ew.

Speaker 3 (01:43:12):
There's a ton of them Ew.

Speaker 12 (01:43:13):
Yes, that winky.

Speaker 3 (01:43:31):
Tease winch, do it again do it again.

Speaker 4 (01:43:32):
Oh, I'm about to buzz all right, there we go I love
him so much.

Speaker 6 (01:43:38):
Who's the winner?

Speaker 11 (01:43:38):
so what's what's the winner?
Who's the winner?
Blessings, I think.

Speaker 8 (01:43:43):
Blessings.

Speaker 9 (01:43:45):
I think.

Speaker 2 (01:43:46):
Mess shirt Mess shirt those hips.

Speaker 8 (01:43:52):
Those hips don't lie, I can see the nips.

Speaker 1 (01:43:56):
I think the hips broke.

Speaker 3 (01:43:59):
I don't know he's getting it, he's got some nice
boots.
He'll probably let you borrowthem.

Speaker 11 (01:44:06):
Maybe I do like boot skating those boots look like
from the human centipede Biteshim.
Human centipede, you've seen it.

Speaker 6 (01:44:16):
We've seen all of them Freaks, we gotta do a
better job.

Speaker 3 (01:44:19):
Centipede, you've seen it?
Oh yeah, we've seen all of them, freaks.

Speaker 6 (01:44:22):
I'm so concerned we gotta do a better job of vetting
our guests on the show Freaks.

Speaker 1 (01:44:29):
You didn't do the background check no.

Speaker 3 (01:44:33):
We don't have a budget for that.
What's?

Speaker 11 (01:44:36):
that You're getting paid.
I got these.

Speaker 6 (01:44:41):
I got these.
They're just doing compensateexams at the door Prestige.

Speaker 3 (01:44:44):
I got these snacks on credit, man oh damn Credit,
damn Fucking.

Speaker 11 (01:44:48):
Discovered for me.
Thanks Obama, Not Discovered.

Speaker 3 (01:44:51):
Yeah, thanks, Obama.
Well, what are you going to doon this Veterans Day holiday?

Speaker 11 (01:45:00):
I was going to say grill, but I don't have a grill.

Speaker 4 (01:45:04):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:45:05):
I know somebody that has a George Foreman.

Speaker 6 (01:45:07):
Oh yeah, Blessings.

Speaker 3 (01:45:08):
Blessings Loaded up with all kinds of dowels.

Speaker 1 (01:45:11):
I'll be honest.

Speaker 11 (01:45:18):
I think we might go to the 45th Infantry Museum,
that's cool, our grandpa's inthere.

Speaker 1 (01:45:24):
They do a really cool ceremony and they do a great
ceremony.

Speaker 11 (01:45:27):
One of my favorite parts is they put All the songs.
So whatever song you belong to,you stand up and everybody
claps for you.

Speaker 4 (01:45:36):
I always enjoy it.

Speaker 11 (01:45:37):
You see the old timers, you're like Get up there
and everybody claps for you.
I always enjoy it.
You see, the old timers, you'relike barely came and you're
like yes, get up there,Basically.
Get up there.
So that's the plan, unless it'slike zero degrees, which I
don't want.

Speaker 6 (01:45:54):
I don't want.
Is it supposed to be cold?

Speaker 11 (01:45:57):
I don't know, but every year on Veterans Day it's
super cold.

Speaker 3 (01:46:01):
I will be.
What are you going to do?
I will be planted on my couch,yes, and I'm going to watch my
favorite movies.
Nice 13 hours Nice 13 hours Gotto watch that, the Benghazi
story.
If you haven't watched it, gowatch it.
It's great.
And then probably AmericanSniper oh, that's a good one.

Speaker 6 (01:46:26):
Lone Survivor, maybe, maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:46:32):
It could be Shooter.

Speaker 4 (01:46:34):
Shooter's a good one, I really like.

Speaker 3 (01:46:36):
Shooter.
I think I would watch Shooterbefore Lone Survivor.
That might be a good one.
Will you save Shooter's?
A good one.
I really like Shooter.
I think I would watch Shooterbefore Lone Survivor.

Speaker 6 (01:46:42):
That might be a good one.
Will you save Shooter?

Speaker 11 (01:46:44):
What about Enemy Behind, behind, emily, behind.

Speaker 9 (01:46:47):
Emily.

Speaker 6 (01:46:49):
Behind Emily.

Speaker 1 (01:46:51):
Behind Emily's lines.

Speaker 6 (01:46:52):
Yikes, we'll do that.

Speaker 4 (01:46:56):
Monday night.

Speaker 3 (01:46:56):
Thank you for your service.
Who the fuck is Emily?
We're going to role play.
You're Emily.

Speaker 6 (01:46:58):
Well, we'll do that Monday night.
Thank you for your service.
Who the fuck is Emily?

Speaker 3 (01:47:00):
Thank you for your service.
Who the fuck?
Is Emily we're going to roleplay.
You're Emily and I'm.
You've got to wear the wig theline.
The line.

Speaker 6 (01:47:08):
The line.

Speaker 4 (01:47:08):
There you go, Wait no , oh, oh.

Speaker 6 (01:47:11):
No, he's behind my back.
Oh, oh, oh yeah we don't.
You're Emily, who's?

Speaker 3 (01:47:16):
Emily here.

Speaker 6 (01:47:17):
You have the wig.

Speaker 3 (01:47:18):
Yeah, it's going to be like we're going to reenact
being at MEPs again.
That's what we're going to doKinky?

Speaker 11 (01:47:23):
Hey, did you have the same experience that I had
when you did your MEPs?

Speaker 3 (01:47:27):
Or was it as comfortable?
So get through everything elseand then the last spot you go
into this little office and Ithink it had a door here and a
door here, so it was like this,and then you went out.
Anyway so I go in and he's like, okay, do you remember smells.

Speaker 9 (01:47:53):
Ew sterile.

Speaker 3 (01:47:54):
Can you do the duck walk?

Speaker 1 (01:47:56):
Oh yeah, I remember that one.

Speaker 8 (01:47:57):
Oh, the duck walk.

Speaker 3 (01:47:58):
So, I did the duck walk, whatever he had me do,
some other stupid shit, and thenit was the okay, now I need you
to undress.
And I was just like okay, allright, oh, wow, I did whatever

(01:48:18):
and yeah, the whole little, andthen, and then he was like now I
need you to.
He might have said about face,maybe even whoa, and I went okay
okay and then I need you toreach down and grab your ankles
and give me a hard cough oh,give you a hard cough.

(01:48:41):
Oh, give you a hard cough.

Speaker 1 (01:48:42):
Not a soft one, a hard one.

Speaker 11 (01:48:44):
I did Good on you See, I failed, I did.

Speaker 3 (01:48:50):
I think I just like disassociated from everything
when.

Speaker 7 (01:48:54):
I was in there Happy place.

Speaker 3 (01:48:57):
I want to do this, so I guess I got to do this to get
there.

Speaker 11 (01:49:01):
I was thinking the whole entire time.
Does this make?

Speaker 7 (01:49:05):
me gay no.

Speaker 3 (01:49:08):
But then I remember getting to me and my brother Dan
talked about this the other daythere's like you, you go to
this company or this battalion.
No, I think it's a company,this little welcoming unit.
Before we go to our actualtraining unit in BASIC, we're at

(01:49:33):
this place.
I want to say somewhere inthere we had to go get all of
our shots, oh yeah.
And it was in the gun that hadlike 74 needles.

Speaker 11 (01:49:46):
I remember that one and I was like Next, next.

Speaker 3 (01:49:53):
Okay.
That was sore the next day andI had to take that and then it
was a Okay, now pull down onepant, pull out one butt, cheek
Penicillin.
And then they had us like sitthe other butt cheek on a table
so we wouldn't tighten up ourcheek, or fall.
I don't know yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:50:13):
Because you had someone pass out, didn't you?

Speaker 11 (01:50:15):
Yeah, we had this guy called.
His nickname was Rooster.
It was because he was a redheadand man.
He passed out, like they said,alcohol and the guy went not
even with a shot.
Oh my God.

Speaker 3 (01:50:31):
I bet Dan did, because Dan hates needles.

Speaker 12 (01:50:34):
Yeah, he does Like he's fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:50:36):
I think he said he passed out, he did.

Speaker 4 (01:50:39):
Maybe he's a big guy too.

Speaker 3 (01:50:41):
Yeah, wow, yeah, he can't.
We're losing.
He'll never have a tattoo.
No, oh, he can't come, he can't.

Speaker 7 (01:50:49):
He can't, come he can't even look at it.

Speaker 3 (01:50:51):
He can't even look at knitting needles.
Knitting needles, yeah,knitting needles, I don, but the
the best part about themilitary.
One of the things that I usedto do was, every time we had a

(01:51:12):
random drug test, yeah, it wasalways early in the morning and
I had to wake up earlier becauseI lived off post and so I
hadn't taken that good morningshit yet.
So when they were like, oh, yougotta go get in line for a drug
test and you can't get out ofthis line, you had to poop.
And I said to the surgeons, theyhad to be the pecker checkers,

(01:51:32):
the Peter watchers.
I was like hey.

Speaker 6 (01:51:37):
Peter peepers.

Speaker 11 (01:51:38):
I'm turtling here, I'm turtling.
I got to poop too.
I got to poop, poop.

Speaker 3 (01:51:43):
Because you have to sit there with the stall door
open.
Yeah, you have to pee, becauseyou have to pee in the cup right
there.

Speaker 8 (01:51:52):
And they watch you poop.

Speaker 3 (01:51:53):
They have to and I'm like, all right, all right, have
fun, because infantry, mortarmen, we're sick guys and all the
guys watching us were probablysupport guys and we're like
we're going to make you pay.
So here you go, watch me,dookie as I pee in this little

(01:52:15):
cup.

Speaker 1 (01:52:15):
Damn it grows.

Speaker 11 (01:52:16):
Boys are gross, so you've got to also admire the
precision of pooping and peeingat the same time.

Speaker 10 (01:52:23):
Girls do it all the time.

Speaker 11 (01:52:23):
No no no, no, no, no , no no no no no, no, no, no,
like you have to be a good shot.
Well, yeah, you do have to like.
I'm not saying that you guysaren't doing it.

Speaker 8 (01:52:31):
No, I'm saying that like You've got to aim and your
butthole can't go away.

Speaker 3 (01:52:38):
And then always dribble a little bit on the
outside of the cup.
I mean they have gloves on, butit's like sorry dude.

Speaker 1 (01:52:49):
Did you even get any in the cup?
A little tart in there.

Speaker 8 (01:52:52):
You want that too.

Speaker 6 (01:52:54):
He's good, is this kind?

Speaker 3 (01:52:56):
of sample, not that kind Spaghetti.

Speaker 7 (01:52:57):
That's good.
You need a stool sample.
Is this kind of sample?
Ew Ugh.

Speaker 3 (01:53:01):
Not that kind Spaghetti, that's gross.

Speaker 6 (01:53:06):
Shooting ropes.
Go to the doctor.

Speaker 1 (01:53:09):
Go to the doctor.

Speaker 10 (01:53:10):
Shooting ropes.
Shooting ropes.

Speaker 11 (01:53:13):
Yo, so was that your favorite experience in the
military?

Speaker 3 (01:53:19):
No, no.

Speaker 11 (01:53:19):
So if you, had a favorite memory, what would it
be?

Speaker 1 (01:53:25):
The whole time, no, just one.

Speaker 3 (01:53:30):
Oh, that's tough.
I think probably when ourentire battalion went to a, we
had to go do our riflemarksmanship qualification and I
shot 40 out of 40 and was theonly one in the battalion that

(01:53:50):
did it.

Speaker 4 (01:53:51):
Like a badass and then got an award for it later
on Michael.

Speaker 11 (01:53:55):
Yeah, marksman Dude, that's awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:53:58):
Marksman.

Speaker 3 (01:53:58):
Which 40 out of 40 was what I did all the time
what's yours, oh mine like yourfavorite memory.

Speaker 11 (01:54:13):
I don't, jessica, damn it, jessica.
I guess my favorite memory I'msorry I'm thinking too hard, I
wasn't ready for it.
Well, it's going to sound lame,I guess, but this is the best I
could think of it's when I wentto the chaplain and it was what

(01:54:39):
our 10-year anniversary oh yeah, that was fun and and uh, we
and I and I planned our 10-yearanniversary to have, uh, our uh
renewal vows yeah, on base onbase and she didn't know, like I
, we bought her dress,everything.
And she came in and the chaplain, like I was like oh, let's, let

(01:55:00):
me show the chaplain.
She's like okay, and literallyeverybody was there.
And then she's like what'sgoing on?
I'm like, hey, go into thatroom, change, we're gonna renew
our love house.
And she's like what?
I guess that's the best memory,yeah yeah yeah I mean, and I
was, I wearing my uniform.

Speaker 3 (01:55:17):
Best memory of the military really has not much to
do with the military.

Speaker 7 (01:55:24):
That's fair.
Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 11 (01:55:26):
But it was Family.
Oh, and that was after Ilearned how to re-walk again, so
I was trying to figure it out.

Speaker 6 (01:55:34):
Yeah, a lot of his military was spent recovering
from surgery.

Speaker 10 (01:55:39):
So it was fuzzy.

Speaker 6 (01:55:40):
That was not good times.

Speaker 3 (01:55:42):
Yeah, and then, man, I do have quite a bit.
So I was so proficient inmarksmanship that they would
have me two lanes over.
They would have me two lanesover and we would have a soldier
trying to qualify for rangerschool or airborne no, not

(01:56:10):
airborne Something.
Special forces.

Speaker 4 (01:56:12):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:56:14):
But their marksmanship was awful Also you
needed help you needed help, youneed to help call.
So I shot two lanes over just tohelp them at their targets.
Wow.
And then there was one range wewould go to all the time and I
noticed, like the hundred metertarget and the 250 meter target,

(01:56:37):
their shoulders just barelyoverlapped and I was like I
wonder if I can shoot both ofthem with one round.
Did you ever try?
Because these were pop-uptargets and then they would do
singles and then they would dodoubles, and so I did it and

(01:56:57):
both of them went down.
And then that came around againknocked them both down.
So when we got done, I shot 40out of 40.
And then at the end, when theydid a brass and ammo check, I
said, hey, I have rounds left.
They're like what?
Like I got two rounds left.
You shot 40 out of 40.

(01:57:20):
How do you have rounds left?
I said I could take two downWith one shot, with one.
They were like bullshit, I'll doit again you said dude, and so
he sent me back out Two roundsleft over Dang.
So I was very good in that.

(01:57:42):
In fact, my first award was inbasic for having the highest
basic rifle marksmanship scoreout of the entire training
battalion Whoa.
And that time I only shot like37 or 38 out of 40.
I hadn't even gotten better yet.
So I got better after that andthen every time it was 40 out of

(01:58:06):
40.

Speaker 11 (01:58:07):
So so if you had to do it again, would you go to
like sniper school or anythinglike that?

Speaker 3 (01:58:14):
Funny story about that.
Okay, when guys say I want togo home, home, and yeah, casey,
did you do that?
Okay, okay, uh, I want to gohome and beat the shit out of my
recruiter, yeah, you know, guyssay that.
So I walked into therecruiter's office and I said I

(01:58:34):
want to enlist in the army, Iwant to be a sniper, so let's go
.
And he said, well, you saw, youuh sign up as uh infantry,
there's a bonus.
So I don't know, I got like 15,20 grand guys, we're gonna pay
or something, yeah, and then umhe said, and then when you get

(01:58:56):
to basic, they will ask you whatschool you want next, and then
you'll.

Speaker 11 (01:59:00):
That's how they got you.

Speaker 3 (01:59:02):
I was like.
And so I was like yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah.
So when we did get to ourtraining battalion, they did say
are there any schools you wouldlike to go to?
And you write those down, butthey don't.
Maybe maybe guys going toairborne school or air assault
school, maybe they would do that.

(01:59:22):
That's all I wanted to do.
So I just put sniper and theywere like 11 Charlies, don't go
to sniper school, motherfucker.
Well, I'm here.
And then at my duty station inGermany, there was something

(01:59:46):
like they were having like amock sniper school and they had
all these different battalionshaving people qualify for it.
Well, yeah, I'm going to dothat.
My rifleman score is fuckingbetter than anybody.
So, yeah, let me do it.
There was an infantry guy.

(02:00:11):
He might have been an 11Charlie, I don't know.
Infantry mortarman, that's whatI was but he had gotten hurt at
somewhere, so he was working inthe personnel office.
He sent his packet in.

Speaker 4 (02:00:27):
Yeah, for the company , not me oh, of course they
weren't going to choose himyou're hurt, you're a broke dick
.

Speaker 3 (02:00:35):
You're a broke dick, yeah, and so that screwed me out
of that.
And then, uh, I get to fortirwin, california, after I
re-enlist, and then, uh, therewas like a commander's
inspection or something, so wehad to clean all the vehicles

(02:00:57):
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blahoh, make sure you have all your
gear, all your tools,everything spread out yeah and
they just look at oh my bad theylook at it and you're like,
yeah, come on, it's anold ordeal thing.
I was kind of new to theplatoon and I was.
I was recovering from myhernias but I was kicking all of

(02:01:18):
their asses in like riflemanscores, um, and then on our
mortar systems we would havegunner tests and so you would
have to qualify on your mortarequipment and I was beating
their top guy.
And that is all because of myplatoon in germany and how hard

(02:01:42):
we trained, hated it at times,right, but we trained fucking
hard.
We, we all knew our fucking job.
That's awesome.
And so I get to fort erwin,california, which is a big
training base I think it's NTCand so we play the OPFOR, the

(02:02:03):
opposing force, and all theother fighting forces come to
NTC to do like laser tag battles, war with the OPFOR, war games
so they could train.
Yeah, war games with the op wargames so they could train.
Yeah, war games.
Well, I'm not sure how hardthey trained on their mortar

(02:02:25):
systems, but maybe that's why Iwas kicking all their asses.
But they hated it because I wasstill on light duty getting to
the platoon, cause I came off ahernia surgery, hernia surgery.
I was hurting really bad, notknowing that that repair had

(02:02:48):
failed.
Oh, and I still had one on theother side.
So I had two hernias this wholetime.
When I got back, when I got to,when I got to california, fort
irwin, and I was beating theseguys and they fucking hated it.
And so, anyway, we have thiscommander's inspection, or

(02:03:09):
whatever they called it ourvehicle.
The commander was like thisthis has been the best fucking
like everything's Squared awaySquared away.
If there was perfect, it wouldhave been this and then.
But that squad leader had mesitting away from them at the

(02:03:31):
back of the vehicle, sittingaway from them at the back of
the vehicle, and we had so wewere mechanized infantry and our
mortar systems were mounted inthese little armored personnel
carriers, little bitty tankthings.
They were standing at that theback ramp, and I was.
They had me off somewhere else,like out of sight, out of mind,
and that commander but I couldstill overhear that commander

(02:03:55):
was asking them kind of as likea reward, I guess yeah, like
what kind of school you guyswant to go to?
Oh shit, and we'll see aboutgetting you qualified and
getting you.
And I was like motherfucker Icould have you know.

Speaker 11 (02:04:13):
There goes another opportunity.

Speaker 3 (02:04:14):
There goes another opportunity.

Speaker 11 (02:04:16):
Shit.

Speaker 3 (02:04:17):
Yeah, but whatever Damn.

Speaker 5 (02:04:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:04:22):
Damn dude.

Speaker 11 (02:04:24):
Well, that's pretty awesome.

Speaker 3 (02:04:26):
Yeah, I mean I don't really like to brag about
anything I did in the military.
Which pills in comparison to alot of other veterans?

Speaker 11 (02:04:36):
Yeah, dude, like pills, wearing the hat, wearing
all their medals, and you'relike dude, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (02:04:42):
Oh, I know, shut the fuck up Be humble, but the one
thing I will be.

Speaker 6 (02:04:47):
Those are the ones that don't have any.

Speaker 3 (02:04:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:04:50):
Because the people who have things are quiet about
it.

Speaker 3 (02:04:53):
Yeah, the one thing I will be very confident about.
And anybody challenged me inrifle marksmanship, I will say
Game on.
I want you to know that it maynot be fair.
That's awesome Because I have asupernatural ability.

Speaker 11 (02:05:14):
You're like look at my nutsack Dude, that's awesome.

Speaker 3 (02:05:19):
Yeah, wow, there's so many things like that, just
little moments that happen.
We did this thing one time.
Our platoon had this trainingarea kind of up in the small
little mountain area and we weredoing um mount training, um,

(02:05:39):
where you're battling inbuildings and small towns, and
we had the laser tag kind of setup what do they call those?
I don't remember.
I thought I had it but I didn't.
Anyway, we they had these bermssurrounding this little town.
That was built out, huge berm,and we start to go over and on

(02:06:03):
one of the buildings at the verytop they had a mounted like
probably uh 60 and so it waslike we started taking fire.
So we get back down and as we'redoing that, I could see that if
we barely come up over the berm, he can't see us, and it had.

(02:06:25):
It was winter time and so itwas.
It was snowy, so I was like,hey, we need to crawl up, we
need to low crawl up and slidedown on our bellies and we'll
make it to the first buildingand this guy won't see us.
They were like okay, okay.
So I was the first one.
I said and I'll go first.
And so we all get up there, Ivolunteer as tribute.

(02:06:46):
We all start coming down.
We had an NCO later say thatwas a fucking movie, because
what happened, what we didn'tknow.
They sent a guy on the outsideof the berm.
This guy was supposed to pin usdown and this guy was coming
around to flank us.
Well, we came down.

(02:07:08):
This guy didn't see so when hisbuddy flanked came up, no, the
m60 guy destroyed him friendlyfire yeah, friendly fire took
him out, and so the nco that sawus do that saw that and was
like, oh yeah, dude, you're gone.
They got you.
And then we cleared the entireplace.

(02:07:31):
Whoa, so that was cool, just bethe tactics though I was a
private new to the platoon and Iwas like hey, let's do this.
And they said that was fuckinga movie.
And I was like man, no one hadcell phones back then yeah, you
know.
And I guarantee somebody wouldhave been recording that now.

Speaker 11 (02:07:50):
Yeah.
Right and we would have beenable to see it for the future
and people aren't like oh,you're fucking lying dude,
that's awesome You're lying, no,but anyway, it's just little
moments like that.

Speaker 3 (02:08:00):
Yeah, like I even have.
It was fun going through thegas chamber.
Yeah, me too.
I had a great time.
I don't know why.

Speaker 11 (02:08:16):
It too.
I had a great time.

Speaker 4 (02:08:17):
I don't know why it was awful.
Yeah, you're not jewish.
Yikes too soon, casey too soon.

Speaker 3 (02:08:21):
I'm not quick enough, I gotta have it oh my god I'm
probably right yeah well theyweren.
They didn't say let's go to theshowers.
They didn't say that.
Yeah, but it was just funny,just like the snot and the stuff
that just exits your body afterthat is insane.

Speaker 11 (02:08:44):
See, when it happened to me when I went
through the gas chamber, Ididn't really have any like side
effects at all.
Like everybody, I'm just thereand the, the, the trainer, like
he grabbed the fan because thislittle fan and a little thing,
and he just started pointingtowards me because everybody's

(02:09:04):
like you know they had to dosomething with this and and it
yeah, from like behind yourbrain is just snot coming out
and I'm just there going.
But at the same time I likespicy.
Well, not only spicy, but whatI was doing was I was slow,

(02:09:25):
breathing, super slow.
I was like, yeah, just tinybreaths, you know, and everybody
and everybody.
And of course I got a littlebit teary.
But once they said, okay, youknow, you know, recite your
social security number and yourname, your name and last name, I
said and they're like, well,you're too confident, you're
you'll be the last one.

(02:09:46):
And I'm like, okay, my lastname is you.
So what's new?
So I'll sit in the back and mylast name is you, so what's new?
so I'll sit in the back andlooking like that, his choker on
and everything.
Yeah, everybody hold me.
But uh, yeah, when I came out,like I just the you know the
mask that you have, yeah, it wasburning from the mask like the

(02:10:08):
little seal.
I was just a little bit tearand that's it.
I was like, well, it's becauseyou eat spice.
I'm like I don't eat spicy seal.
I was just a little bit tearyand that's it.
I was like, well, it's becauseyou eat spice.
I'm like I don't eat spicy.
But I was controlling you said Iwas controlling my breath the
whole entire time.
I'm like don't, don't, blink.
That was such a fun day.

Speaker 3 (02:10:23):
Yeah, it was fun, so fun.
I don't know why, but the funny, one of the funniest things
that I ever saw in the militarywas one of our last big things
before we graduated.
We had this huge field trainingexercise.
We road marched with all thisgear mortar equipment for parts

(02:10:48):
of it, and I don't know how farwe rode march, but when we were
done and we even had they, letus at least put tennis shoes on
afterwards we were walking likeold men.
My feet have never hurt.
Well, they hurt like that nowif I walk too long and that's

(02:11:08):
what reminds me of it AnytimeI'm on my feet way too long.
Just how they fucking burnedand we're just so fucking.
Your feet were so angry, youcould feel the anger and we were
walking around like old men,like, oh my God, okay, okay,
yeah.
And then we had to build anddig a huge mortar pit and dig a

(02:11:29):
huge mortar pit and then thenext morning all these guys were
like I got to go to sick call.
Like just pussing out because itstarted to rain.

Speaker 2 (02:11:40):
It was cold it was muddy.

Speaker 3 (02:11:42):
It sucked, yeah, but there was no way I was doing
that.
But all these broke dicks thatgot into this.
Uh, this five ton um, oh, themedic uh to go to sick, call one
of the ncos, one of thetraining guys, whoever it was,

(02:12:04):
probably a drill sergeant,pulled a cs grenade, pin on a cs
grenade and just tossed it intothe.
Because this is wartime, we'resimulating wartime and
everybody's dead.
You're gonna play dead.
You're gonna play dead and tosee these broke dicks that were
saying I can't walk, I can't doanything jumping out and moving

(02:12:28):
fast.
Oh my God, that shit was comical.
Wow, I was like that's exactlywhy I didn't do that.
Are you guys fucking dumb?
They've been fucking with usthe whole time.
Yeah, you think they're notgoing to?
This is wartime right here.
You don't think someone's goingto fuck with you?
You're fucking dumb.
Go to the Marines.

(02:12:48):
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 11 (02:12:49):
We had to stay up for I think it was 72 hours, oh
yeah.
And after that we had to do ourwar game, our simulation, and
it was a ship.
We were in this giant ship, butit's all like a roller coaster
ride and it was a simulation ofa ship sinking, oh shit.

(02:13:11):
So they put me as my job was tobe a plumber and I had like
about 10, 18 year olds and I'mlike, ok, you know, I'm 26.
I'm like, let's go, like let'sgo do our duties and all that
stuff.
I was the line leader, whatever.
And you know, you know lineleader whatever.

(02:13:33):
And you know, incoming missilebrace for impact.
And then the ship startssinking and they're like, hey,
you, you need to go fix damages.
So of course I go down with theteam and the instructor.
They're watching us and they'relike, okay, figure it out.
And there's pipes everywhere.
And they're watching us andthey're like, okay, figure it
out, and there's pipeseverywhere and they're leaking.

(02:13:54):
And I was like, okay, well, wegotta start fixing the holes and
we start gonna startredirecting the water supply so
we don't drown.
Well, when I started doing that, the tuner said oh, you got
shot, so now you gotta stand onthe side and let these guys take

(02:14:15):
care yeah, so I'm going.
What like?
We had a plan, like we likewater was like up our boot.
We were good.
By the time we were done, waterwas at our neck.
Great Lakes water, cold as hell.
These idiots.

(02:14:37):
They didn't know what lefty,righty, tighty, they didn't
understand any of that.
And I'm just going like, oh mygod, these idiots.
But enjoyed the experience,hated the experience.

Speaker 4 (02:14:52):
Enjoyed it.

Speaker 3 (02:14:52):
upon reflection, I think ours at the end was a live
fire exercise where we it wasnight and we had to move
infiltrate an area and there wasbarbed wire, mud water that we

(02:15:12):
had to low crawl under.

Speaker 11 (02:15:15):
Don't they shoot like over your head.

Speaker 3 (02:15:17):
Yeah, they were shooting, right, and you could
see the tracers.
Now I don't know how high theywere shooting, and people will
tell you stories.
Oh yeah, the man last trainingcycle had a guy stand up, took
his head right off.
Now you don't know if thosethings are true, right, yeah.
But when you're down therecrawling and it's, you hear the

(02:15:41):
whip and you see the tracersflying by, you're like I don't
want to test how high thoserounds go.
Yeah, so I'm just going to staydown here, yeah.

Speaker 11 (02:15:55):
Crawl in the mud, suck it up.
I kind of want to embrace thesuck.

Speaker 3 (02:15:56):
Yeah, exactly, whoa.
Yeah, that's pretty cool yeah Imean where else are you gonna
do shit like that?
Yeah, you know what I mean yeah, no, I.

Speaker 11 (02:16:06):
I when people say like what, what is?
One of the one of thoseexperiences that you've had that
you cannot have it anywhereelse was being right next to a
jet landing on a carrier andyou're just feet away and you
just feel that torque goingthrough your body and how
everything just moves one holycrap.

(02:16:30):
That that is you think of we.
There's a reason why we are thethe top of the food chain
because the amount of stuff thatwas happening during that time,
I'm like, oh my god, I coulddie.
But at the same time, like yousaid, when you train and train
and train, you're like, hey,yellow, white I mean well, white

(02:16:51):
and red, don't cross it, okay,because that could be your leg
or your head or whatever youknow.
So I will say that that's beingin the carrier.
Yeah, I remember like for twoweeks I couldn't figure out
where I was.
Yeah, I'm like, what the hell amI?
I'm like, so I would go out andthey have floors.

(02:17:12):
If they're blue, those are theofficer floors.
But what I would do is I wouldwalk through them and they're
like hey, what the hell are youdoing here?
I was like, oh, I'm looking forMr Smith.
You know his aircraft, we needhim to like check it out.
Well, what are you doingtalking to me?
I'm sorry, you know, but Iwould say those excuses, because

(02:17:33):
they will never like.
You know, well, there's there'slike 5000 people in there, so
it's not like they're going togo find that one person there.
Yeah, you know, if you could go.
Hey, man, I don't know where itis, You're not going to go
around the carrier trying tofind that one dude, right?
You know, I remember one time Iopened a door and there was the
military police with theirrifles.

(02:17:54):
And when I opened it they'relike hey you hang on.
I closed that door and I bookedit.
Yeah, no, Nope.
When they say hey, hey, comehere.

Speaker 5 (02:18:04):
They don't speak English.

Speaker 3 (02:18:05):
No, what what?

Speaker 11 (02:18:09):
How did I get here In those ships there?

Speaker 10 (02:18:12):
was tons of there's a cruise ship.
I'm looking Carnival.
What?

Speaker 9 (02:18:16):
buffet Carnival.

Speaker 11 (02:18:17):
No, they had a buffet, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:18:20):
So those experiences you're talking about being right
next to the jet got two likethat.
Two examples Field trainingexercise in Germany, wintertime,
cold as shit.
The best place was to standbehind an m1 abrams, no matter

(02:18:40):
how much exhaust you werebreathing in the co2.
It was so fucking warm, reallylike there could be snow all
behind it and within a minuteseconds all that snow is melted.
That's just how much heat'scoming, Cause it's a jet turbine
.

Speaker 11 (02:19:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:19:00):
In a Abrams and you want to talk about million
dollars worth of personnelheater was right there.
You can see all the infantryguys standing behind the tank
going oh my God, I don't careabout those powdered eggs, I'm
fucking warm.
Finally, and then, when myplatoon deployed to Kosovo, we

(02:19:25):
had to do this thing and I don'tknow if I was chosen or I just
volunteered I was like I'm nevergoing to be able to do this
again.
I don't know if I was chosen orI just volunteered.
I was like I'm never going tobe able to do this again.
But we were combat loading aHumvee to a Chinook helicopter,

(02:19:47):
and so I was the guy that stoodon top of the Humvee with a
grounding rod that had to havethe Chinook helicopter lower
down right above me Hook it so Icould start touching it to
ground it out, because thestatic.
Okay, guys, we're good.
Yikes, Can we get this thinghooked up?
Can we hurry?

Speaker 9 (02:20:05):
please yeah.

Speaker 11 (02:20:06):
My first job was to be a plane captain.
I was the one who would tellyou know, hey, you know it, we
always had that one personvolunteering usually wasn't a
person who had a high iq level.
We would have not saying thatyou have one.
No, no, no, no, no, but this isnavy.
We had that one designatedvolunteer.
You know I would go like, hey,you know, we gotta ground it

(02:20:29):
because the amount of staticelectricity that's in the air is
gonna to shock somebody andkill them.
And I remember I'm doing allthe hand signals and everything
and I'm like, dude, if this guydies, better him than me, you
know.

Speaker 9 (02:20:43):
Tee hee, tee hee yeah .

Speaker 3 (02:20:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (02:20:46):
The other thing, about Kosovo.

Speaker 6 (02:20:48):
No, I love it.
Committed to the character atthis point.

Speaker 3 (02:20:53):
No, I love it.
Committed to the characterthing about, uh, kosovo too,
being on deployment was the chowhall was open like 24 7 and
there were days we got king crablegs and like mongolian
barbecue and stuff and thedefect had the best chicken
wings ever.
Wow, we would go at like two inthe morning if we were still up

(02:21:16):
just to go get chicken wings.
Whoa.
But then also when you had todo laundry, you dropped it off.
What?
And these local national ladieswould go do your laundry, and
then you would get it back.

Speaker 7 (02:21:31):
Fold your little pants Perfectly folded,
underwear folded, socks folded,would go do your laundry and
then you would get it backperfectly perfectly folded.

Speaker 3 (02:21:34):
Yeah, underwear folded, socks folded.
I was like I never want to gohome, I just want to stay here.
Yeah, the locals will like foodall the time we could also on
the outside of our um, what dothey call them?
Sea huts?
This is what they called them.
I think on the outside of thedoor we could put a list of like

(02:21:54):
drinks, juice, pops that wewanted in our fridge and they'd
have a little local, nationalguy come around, take the things
go shopping.
for us it was like Walmart, plusYo Walmart delivery, and they
would bring it in and stock ourfridge.
We come back at the end of theday and it was like Mountain

(02:22:15):
Dew's Dr Peppers, do you?

Speaker 6 (02:22:16):
think they were hired by the military to help you
guys out.

Speaker 3 (02:22:20):
Oh sure, because they were probably more hired by a
contractor.
So we had a contractor calledBrown and Root, similar to
Halliburton, and I bet they werehired probably from them.

Speaker 6 (02:22:36):
I mean, it gave them jobs and stuff.
I mean you know and and likesome corottery between like the
military like the locals andstuff like that.

Speaker 3 (02:22:42):
I mean that's a good thing to do and the brown and
root guys when we had to domaintenance on our vehicle.
We do our preventativemaintenance, so it was like oh
man the oil.
Change the oils a court low.
Even if the oil was a court low, hey, what do I do?
Take it over to Brown and root,so drive over there wait for

(02:23:03):
and you're just waiting for themto put a quarter oil in and you
drive back.

Speaker 11 (02:23:10):
That's awesome.

Speaker 3 (02:23:11):
It was great, that's awesome.
It was great, that's awesome.
Those brown and root guys andthe local nationals got paid in
cash.
So my platoon was the qrf teamfor qr for quick reaction force
for kosovo and the surroundingarea.
One of our missions we wouldget would be to transport guys,

(02:23:35):
plainclothes, guys with likemp5s briefcase, actually
handcuffed to their wrist,because they paid all their
people.
They paid their people in cash,the local national people.
We were escorting millions uponmillions of dollars in cash and

(02:24:00):
I want to say they're like justjust a little bit just like
we're talking, god, if you loveme on average maybe like 17 to
$20 million in fucking cash, andso we would either do them by
Blackhawk or we would do them byconvoy.
I always loved the convoybecause and we trained this I

(02:24:25):
mean we're bumper to bumper,yeah, and if any car tries to
break into the convoy line we'rein up-armored Humvees.
So I don't know a few tons andI had a little car try to come

(02:24:46):
in and you wouldn't have to evenhit it very hard.
It's a little compact car.
Dude would just go flying Nottoday.

Speaker 11 (02:24:55):
And you think they know better.
You will think, see, if I see aconvoy, I'm like I'm just going
to step aside and just watchwho goes by.

Speaker 3 (02:25:08):
And I've told this story before but.
I was the driver Squad leaderwanted me driving, so I was the
driver and I would want to rollwith the windows up sometimes
and I'd blast the AC and he'd belike I don't think it's fucking

(02:25:29):
cold.
I was like, dude, do you knowhow hot it is out there?
Anyway, but another reason wewould also write windows down is
if you take any fire.
Well, even that armored door isstill hollow, and so you had
the ballistics glass in thewindows and so you put that
glass also in the door.

(02:25:49):
Oh yeah, so you put that glassin the window, all the time
It'll stop them.
Is the round going to comethrough the window?
I don't know.
It's a small target.
Depending on the distance.
It's going to hit the body ofthe vehicle more than anything.
But they also had trafficlights and parts of like
Macedonia and if we had to stopwe'd have these kids rush the

(02:26:12):
vehicle and they would grabanything off you.
So you had to dummy cordeverything to you because they
would just come in reaching foreverything.
Well, our lieutenant at the timeloved atomic fireballs, the
candy, and we would have thoseon us all the time and when

(02:26:33):
those kids came to we would belike, hey, have some candy, and
they take this candy and we wedrive off.
Well, that worked, becauseanytime we stopped at those
lights we'd look over those kidswould not approach the vehicle
and we were like hey, and they'dbe like, oh, the vehicle.
And we'd be like hey, andthey'd be like, oh, it burns.

(02:26:55):
But there was one camp we wouldgo to in Macedonia.
I don't remember why we wouldgo there, but anyway they had
this little sister and brotherthat was kind of outside the
gate, that was always around andthey were sweet kids.

(02:27:18):
We gave them fireballs, oh, andwe watched them from the Humvee
and at first they were like,and then, and then I take it out
and their drool would hit theground and it was like they were
so hungry that they oh no.

(02:27:41):
And we would give those kidswater and MREs and all kinds of
stuff.

Speaker 11 (02:27:46):
Hey, talking about MREs, Do you remember what are
you doing?
Do you remember when you eat anMRE, like the first stump right
after, oh yeah, solid, the pain, the pain.

Speaker 3 (02:28:05):
Solid.
Oh yeah, dude, they're made toplug you up.
It was a log.

Speaker 11 (02:28:09):
They are made to plug you up for a bit oh man, I
remember the first time I hadone, I was like, oh you know, I
don't know what was yourfavorite one.
Mine was the Fittipino Alfredoand it was just sauce, sauce,
and noodles.

Speaker 3 (02:28:24):
Favorite one.
I don't know.
I think I got to the point andsome people didn't like them,
but they had this thing justcalled a ham slice.
To the point, and some peopledidn't like them, but, uh, they
had this thing just called a hamslice.
I've heard about ham slice bigchunk of ham and weird gelatin,
but it was just.
It was so easy to eat like youcould.
You could eat.
It be done cold, it was okay.

(02:28:47):
You could warm it up.
That was probably it.
We would figure out which oneshad the jalapeno cheddar cheese
with the crackers.
Oh boy, yeah, you might justfight over some fucking jalapeno
cheese.

Speaker 6 (02:29:04):
That right.
There is how I know I would nothave made it in the military.

Speaker 5 (02:29:09):
Really.

Speaker 2 (02:29:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:29:10):
MREs.

Speaker 2 (02:29:11):
Fucking MREs?
No way, bro.
Wait did the Air Force?
Yeah, mres Fucking.

Speaker 7 (02:29:12):
MREs, no way.

Speaker 3 (02:29:13):
Wait, did the.

Speaker 7 (02:29:14):
Air Force have to eat MREs Probably not Probably at
times.

Speaker 3 (02:29:17):
Sometimes maybe I bet not.

Speaker 11 (02:29:19):
You're a fucking nut .
Maybe at times I bet they'reMREs.
Depending on their job, I'massuming.

Speaker 6 (02:29:24):
Delicates.

Speaker 11 (02:29:26):
Delicates.
Well, you know, once you haveone, you're good to go who?

Speaker 1 (02:29:29):
Well, I have to ask my dad hey dad, did you have
MREs he?

Speaker 3 (02:29:33):
did.
Well, let's wrap this bitch up.
We've been going three hours,now Three.
Let's wrap it up.
It was fun, bro.
Whoa, hey, whoa.
Is that dick size, dick size.
Anyway hey, veteran veteran, toall the other veterans out

(02:29:55):
there, thank you for yourservice.

Speaker 11 (02:29:58):
Veteran, thank you for your service and everybody
who supports supports themilitary.

Speaker 3 (02:30:06):
Good job, anya.
Hope you guys have a goodveterans day holiday do whatever
you want to go to the 45thinfantry museum or whatever.

Speaker 11 (02:30:16):
Hope you guys have a good Veterans Day holiday.

Speaker 3 (02:30:17):
Do whatever you want to Go to the 45th Infantry
Museum or whatever militarymuseum may be near you or be
safe.

Speaker 11 (02:30:20):
Stay home.

Speaker 3 (02:30:21):
Or stay home, get couch locked and watch war
movies.
I know for guys that sometimesit's a calming effect when we
watch those.
It's kind of weird.
I had to explain it to Casey.
But do that, do what you want.
Vets on Veterans Day withinreason it's your day.

(02:30:42):
It's your day.
Your motherfuckers earned it,just like we earned it, so I'm
just glad I now have the day off.

Speaker 11 (02:30:51):
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 (02:30:53):
Thank you for your service.

Speaker 7 (02:30:53):
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for being a dependent.
Hell yeah, hell yeah, yeah yeah.
Favorite life.

Speaker 3 (02:31:02):
Thank you.
If you watch the YouTube livestream.
I don't know, we know Justindid, yeah, he's a future veteran
, hey, but I think it worked andwe may do this more, so maybe I
give people more of a heads upnext time we do it.
Anyway, thank you for watchingor listening.
We'll catch you next time.
Ciao, baby.

Speaker 11 (02:31:28):
That was awesome.
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