June 3, 2025 • 24 mins
It’s the end of the season, and in this finale episode, I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned from the incredible leaders who joined me. We’re talking about the ripple effect of leadership, why commitment matters more than motivation, and the reminder that no one should lead alone.
If you’ve ever wondered how your words as a leader echo beyond the workplace — or felt the weight of trying to get it all right — this one’s for you.
Tune in for a heartfelt wrap-up and a few of my favorite takeaways.
I'm also getting ready for next season and I want to hear from you. What leadership challenges are you facing? What do you want to explore next season? Drop me a note at Sara@leadintoit.co.
Let’s keep growing, together.
Let’s keep the conversation going—connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn, subscribe to my Sunday newsletter, or reach out at sara@leadintoitco.
Excited to be with you!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to episode 53 of the Lead into a
Podcast.
Hello and welcome to theepisode that is going to close
out the season of 10 episodes.
I'm so excited to talk with youall about this past season, all
(00:22):
the things that I've learned,what still resonates with me and
just kind of a reflection ofwhat I have seen and heard and
what I hope to continue for thenext upcoming season that'll
happen in the fall.
So we've reached the end of theseason and I just wanted to
take a moment to reflect on allthe things that I've learned
still, what sticks with me andwhy the season meant so much.
(00:44):
In a newsletter a couple ofweeks ago, I shared what my word
of the year was, and that wordwas commit and I felt very
determined to commit, especiallyto the season of Lead Into it.
For some weird reason, as Imentioned earlier in the intro
episode to the season, it wasvery challenging for me to kind
(01:05):
of hop back on board thispodcast.
I love this podcast.
I learned so much every singleepisode and I wanted to make
sure that I committed tofinishing out this season of 10
episodes and let me tell you itwas hard.
It's very challenging to dothese episodes and to make sure
that they get done.
And then, when I started outthe season, I always feel like I
(01:27):
have so much content, so muchinformation, and then, as you
get closer to the end of the 10episodes, you're like, oh, I
need another episode, I needanother episode.
And with me, using the wordcommit, I was realizing that I
was bringing it up in myconversations on a day-to-day
basis.
It was something that was topof mind for me, because I was
(01:47):
very focused on making sure thatthis goal of mine was going to
be completed, and so, with thatand that determination, I was
able to complete it.
Without that, without that wordof that reminder of committing,
I don't think I would havefinished the season, because
there's literally, I think, twoor three episodes that came up
(02:09):
because I was havingconversations with people about
the podcast that I was committedto completing, and I'm so
grateful for that, because I wasable to see how these all came
out to fruition and becamecompleted.
All came out to fruition andbecame completed, and this
podcast season was worth everyminute, every episode.
(02:30):
I learned so much from everysingle person I had on the
podcast, and each guestcontinues to teach me something
new, something I didn't realizeI need to learn, or they
reminded me of things that Ineeded to do, that I had
forgotten, and so I think theepisodes that I mean every
single episode resonated with me.
(02:51):
I learned so much from everysingle person I brought on the
show and I think what I continueto learn through this
experience of learning aboutleadership is one how important
leadership is, the leadershiparound you, the leadership that
is surrounding you impacts somuch of your day-to-day life,
(03:11):
and whether it's informalleadership or formal leadership,
I mean me personally.
While the season was going, Ihad experienced all different
forms of leadership bad, good,in between, neutral, my own
leadership and I could seecontinuously how these little
(03:33):
moments of leadership built andhelped me grow, not only for
this podcast, but for my ownleadership and what I hope to
provide for others.
I see how every person isdifferent when it comes to
leadership.
Every characteristic of aleader is so different, and each
person provides their ownperspective and own form of
(03:55):
leadership.
Nothing is going to be cookiecutter for every single person
and, in addition to that,everyone's reaction to the
different forms of leadership isnever going to be the same.
So, even if there is a cookiecutter response to a form of
(04:16):
leadership.
Your response is not going tobe that cookie cutter response.
You're going to responddifferently because you are
human and everyone is different.
So, understanding that, as Icontinue to move forward with
these conversations and that'swhy some of these conversations,
I love them dearly, some of thestuff I'm like I don't know if
that's my specific type ofleadership, but I always publish
(04:40):
what I have because I thinkthat everyone takes a little bit
something different from eachepisode, and I love that.
I think that everyone takes alittle bit something different
from each episode, and I lovethat.
I think that that shows thatleadership is different for
every single person and there isno specific or exactly correct
response.
I will say, though, that,coming from these leadership
(05:02):
conversations, is that I amcontinuously reminded how
important leadership is, andalso from my personal
experiences.
There was a gentleman, in hispodcast episode, talked about
the worthiness of being a leader, and it's not your worth
because you have gained therespect or you've gotten a
(05:25):
promotion or a title, or youhave the experience in that
realm.
The worthiness comes from youunderstanding the responsibility
of what it means to be a leaderfor others and to carry that
weight with you as you continueto grow and be a leader for
others, understanding how thatworth can impact so many people.
(05:49):
And I was recently reminded ofthis because of a situation
where I had a leader that and itwas several levels above, but
it was incredible to see howthis leader could impact so many
people and their lives andbring.
(06:12):
This is hard to share, becauseit's like I don't want to share
too much, but also I want toshare just how impactful like
one person's decision and oneperson's reaction can have to a
group of like 20 people, and Imean or even more than 20 people
, because I've saw churn.
I saw people being impactedtrying to figure out what was
(06:37):
wanted, what was needed, becauseall they wanted to do was
support and help this person,but the person couldn't provide
specific guidance or thefeedback was varying throughout
the time that we were working onthis and there was just a lot
of churn, a lot of extra energytrying to figure out what was
wanted, because the leader didnot provide specific enough
feedback or it just wasn'tcorrect.
(06:58):
And me personally, I realizedhow much I was impacted by it
because of, like my own previousexperiences when it comes to
the leadership world, and Icould see how that, how I was
reacting, how I was showing up,and there was a lot of moments
where I was like, am I doingsomething wrong?
(07:19):
And I wasn't sure.
And this person's, thisleader's reaction made me unsure
, which is fine, like take thefeedback.
But I guess what I'm trying tosay is I could see how one
sentence from a high levelleader impacted a group of about
10 to 20 people to either domore work 10 to 20 people to
(07:49):
either do more work, adjust howthey were doing the work, being
unsure if they were doing thework correctly and thus creating
multiple options, spendinghours upon hours trying to
figure out what the right answerwas going to be, because they
weren't sure, and, in turn, thataffected their personal lives,
(08:09):
because what extra hours werebeing spent at work was not
being spent at home.
And even if that extra time wasbeing spent at home, how much
of that emotional or mentalenergy was continuously being
spent at work, even when theywere in the home space.
And so I wanted to bring thatup as a reminder to everyone,
(08:32):
saying if you lead one person,if you lead yourself, if you
lead a hundred, understand theworth and the responsibility of
your leadership and how thatimpacts every single person
around you, because you mightnot know that you sending one
email saying one thing couldimpact the mental energy of
(08:55):
somebody's night.
I think I brought this up in aprevious episode, but there was
a good comment that one of myprevious guest messages from an
earlier episode, jason Barnaby,and he brought up a conversation
where his manager, as he waspromoted to a new leadership
(09:16):
role, he said to Jason are youready to be the topic of
conversation at dinner amongstyour couples and families?
And I think that's aninteresting reminder to
understand that when you arepromoted into a role of
leadership and you aresupervising others, that your
(09:37):
actions and what you do and yourdecisions are going to impact
those around you and thus becometopic of conversation between
the people you supervise andtheir significant others.
And that shows how impactfulyour role is in people's lives.
(09:57):
And so I say this to say do nottake that for granted.
Take that for granted,understand the responsibility
you carry as a leader and knowthat the decisions and comments
and ways that you approachthings is not just impacting
yourself or your projects.
It is impacting each personindividually every single time
(10:21):
you talk about those things orevery single time you take an
action and the season, theepisodes and my personal
experience continuously remindme of that.
All of that to say wow.
You, as a leader, have impactaround others.
I understand how much controlyou have as an individual, too,
(10:44):
and you can lead yourself inways that you and I mean me
personally I continuously forget.
You can choose how you show up.
You can choose what you takeresponsibility for and how you
respond.
You choose what mental energyyou get to be at home.
You choose how much control youhave.
(11:07):
There's a lot of things thatyou do have control over, and
there's a lot of things that youdon't have control over.
One you don't have control overother people's reactions.
You don't have control over howpeople are going to take
information that you provide tothem.
You don't have control overwhat's going on in somebody
else's life when it comes tooutside impacts.
(11:27):
That is just part of theirpersonal life.
You do have control over yourreactions, your response, how
you want to take things andinterpret things, who you want
to be ultimately.
And so I had a coaching sessionrecently and we were talking
about, uh, how to get betterfeedback, and something else
(11:49):
that continues to come up inconversations throughout these
episodes is, uh, how to setexpectations and hold people
accountable.
I think a lot of times, weexpect to hear that from others,
but we don't even know what ourown expectations are of
ourselves.
That from others, but we don'teven know what our own
expectations are of ourselves.
So, when you're asking forfeedback or to be held
(12:12):
accountable, what is thatmeasurement that you're asking
to be held to?
Who do you want to be as youcontinue to grow, and if you are
holding yourself accountable tothat, what does that look like?
And so I would encourage you toask that question moving
forward as you're growing inyour career, as you're reaching
for those goals, who do you wantto be and what expectations do
(12:36):
you have for yourself and howcan you hold yourself
accountable?
And then, how can you askothers to hold you accountable
in those moments as well?
Because that's a huge aspect ofwhat you can control and how
you can determine how you wantto show up.
Another thing that continuouslycame up in conversations
throughout the season was thatleadership is not about being
(12:59):
perfect.
In fact, I would say it's aboutfeeling as much as you can,
because that's how you learn,and I know Sarah Blakely from
Spanx talks about how she grewup and she had dinners with her
dad and her dad would ask theirentire family how did you fail
(13:19):
today?
And that would be the topic ofconversation.
And when it comes to leadership, there's a lot of moments where
we have to make decisions andI've felt this personally.
I know others have too whenyou're afraid to make a decision
because you're afraid it'sgoing to be the wrong decision.
When I was at Charleston, I wasleading a team of about 20
people and that's when theAfghanistan withdrawal was
(13:42):
happening and our team on theground was going in Charleston,
was going to be involved in amajor aspect of the Afghanistan
withdrawal.
And when it comes to publicaffairs, I had to figure out how
to provide the historicalcoverage because it was going to
be a newsworthy event, and sowe had to preemptively decide
(14:03):
how we were going to take photos, take videos.
And I remember thinking thiswas on a Friday that I had to
make a decision of are we goingto go on 24 hour ops and on
Friday I had to tell my teamthat we were going on 24 hour
ops for the weekend, and it wasa decision I did not make
(14:25):
lightly and honestly I hate thatI had to take away people's
time, but the decision was madebecause I knew for the future of
the military aspect of what weneeded.
The video and photos of whatwas going on was going to have a
major impact on the newscoverage.
Leadership is about makingdecisions and it is hard to make
(14:49):
decisions.
This season also reminded methat leadership isn't perfect.
Being a leader, you're going tomake a lot of mistakes
continuously.
That is just part of theprocess of being a leader and
there's many ways that you cantry to approach the aspect of
(15:14):
not being perfect.
What's come up a lot in theseconversations is everyone's
human.
If you're an individualcontributor and you're butting
heads with your leader, yourleader's probably thinking we're
butting heads and I don't knowwhy.
I think the biggest thing isgiving grace to all those people
(15:39):
that surround you when it comesto being a leader, because you
don't know what people are goingthrough personally and being a
leader is a human endeavor.
It is something that willforever evolve, forever change,
and how you approach it willevolve and change.
There is no perfect leader.
(16:00):
There's no perfect leader.
There's as much as I haveleaders that I admire as much as
there are people who I thinkare really great leaders.
There will never be a perfectleader.
Everyone will make mistakes,everyone will make a wrong
decision, and that is part of it.
(16:21):
And part of the reason I'msaying this aloud is because it
is a reminder for myself too, assomeone who really tries hard
to be, probably, a perfectleader, because I would love to
think that, as a leadershipcoach, that I would be a perfect
leader, and that is absolutely100% false.
(16:43):
And I would love to say that Ihave all the answers and I've
seen all the things.
But I can tell you from aday-to-day experience that I
myself have to remind, as wellas my friends have to remind me,
that, oh, this experience isgoing to be a really good
(17:06):
opportunity to learn aboutleadership.
Why don't you talk about thisexperience on your podcast?
Why don't you talk about youknow?
This will only make you abetter leadership coach.
Oh, it's so frustrating to hear, because sometimes, you know, I
just want all the answers too,as I'm sure everyone does.
If we had all the answers tobeing the perfect leader,
wouldn't that make the world somuch better?
(17:26):
And I will say that's part ofthe intent of this podcast and
my leadership coaching isbecause I would love to create
easier, simpler experiences whenit comes to being in the
workplace and growing in yourcareer and growing in your
(17:50):
career.
But it's messy.
Leadership is a messyexperience and while we can try
to be the best leaders that wecan be, I think the
understanding that giving graceis probably the best experience
that you can have on both ends.
So earlier I talked about theexperience with I saw a leader
who, like, impacted a lot ofpeople.
There's moments where I take astep back to and, while it
(18:11):
frustrates me to no end to seesomebody who does not understand
the impact of their decisionsand how they react to others, I
also remind myself that I needto give them grace because I
don't know what their personalexperience is in this moment.
They might be under a lot ofstress, they might be going
(18:32):
through a lot of other personalaspects of their life.
So it is understanding thatmaybe it's not personal and
maybe this is me just expressinghow I'm feeling when it comes
to experiencing moments ofdifferent types of leadership
over the course of the past sixmonths, but leadership feels
(18:53):
personal because it does impacta lot of different aspects of
our life, but it isn't personaloverall.
And so what you're hearing, whatI'm hearing myself say, is two
different perspectives.
One is that you shouldunderstand the worthiness and
(19:14):
responsibility of the being aleader and what it carries, but
also understand that leadershipis a human endeavor and we're
not perfect.
Leadership is a human endeavorand we're not perfect.
And so, with those two bookendswhich sometimes feel like the
opposite ends of spectrum kindof meet in the middle, and I
(19:39):
understand that leadership is ajourney and there's going to be
ups and downs and it's going tobe a roller coaster and it's all
about who you want to be in theend.
As I build the next season, I'mreally excited.
I have some people lined up forinterviews and, again, I just
love talking with people and thebest thing about these podcast
interviews for me personally isthat I get to have the
(20:01):
conversation once and then Ilisten to it when I'm editing it
and I gain so much through thatsecond time of listening.
And so I'd love to know what ison your mind and what you want
to hear about, and what topicsare you craving.
I talked to my friends aboutthis and I have received
feedback on some of the episodesand I'm glad to hear that so
(20:23):
many people are getting a lot ofgood information from these
episodes and learning from them.
But I really want to make animpact on.
Maybe there's an area in whichyou want to hear about
personally, and I'm in a silosometimes when it comes to
leadership, because I have myown experiences.
So what is that experience thatyou're like?
Oh, I just I have no idea howto approach it, and there's a
(20:52):
lot of things where I thinkwe're just kind of told to deal
with it.
And what if there was somebodyout there who had an answer?
And I'd love to try to findthat for you.
So send me an email, sarah atelite into it.
That's in the show notes.
Feel free to Instagram, dm meor follow up through my
newsletter, and I'd be happy tofind these answers for you,
(21:12):
because no one should have to gothrough a leadership journey on
their own.
It is a commitment and it is acommunity event being a leader.
If you are doing leadership onyour own, you're doing it wrong.
There's no way to be a leaderon your own, no way, and so I
will tell you right now if youare like I'm just doing it on my
(21:34):
own, I'm not seeking any advice.
That is the absolute wrong wayto do it.
There is a community out there.
You should have at least oneperson that you are bouncing
ideas off of, and so let'screate that community here of
your sounding board, of yourcabinet of people who you have,
maybe a devil's advocate, maybesomebody who is somebody who you
(21:58):
admire.
Let's create that communityhere, and I'd love to create
that sounding board or thatcabinet or that mentor for you
in this podcast in some wayshape or form.
So send me your questions, sendme your concerns, send me a
situation that you'reencountering that you're like I
have no idea how to approachthis, and we will work to create
(22:20):
.
It might not be the answer, butmaybe a path or a way forward
for you.
And, last but not least, thanksfor being on this journey with
me.
Again, I have so much fun doingthese episodes and, yes, they're
a lot of work.
I think they're worth the timeand the effort If it helps one
person to either explore anexperience in a different way or
(22:42):
help to be a better supervisor,because if we have better
leaders in the world, thenpeople see what good leadership
is like, and then they alsocreate the world of better
leadership for the people thatare after them, and it is a 100%
trickle effect.
I just I know that people aregoing through hard times all
(23:05):
over when it comes to trying tofigure out the next step in
their career building a business, uh, working with somebody who
they're just like.
I like this person, but I feellike I'm not working the best
that we can together and we canhelp create that experience to
help make it a little bit easierand to help grow in ourselves
(23:26):
and in others.
And I love this journey.
I love it.
It's hard, it's messy, it's.
It has really good moments.
It has hard moments.
I mean there's laughter tears,I mean it's.
I mean there's laughter tears.
I mean it's the whole wicked ofleadership, is the whole thing.
(23:46):
But ultimately, I'm loving thisjourney and I hope that you
continue joining me with it.
The next season will come out inthe fall.
Look out for another set ofepisodes coming out in the fall.
Until then, you can find me onInstagram, which is linked in
the show notes, and feel free tosign up for my weekly
(24:11):
newsletter, which comes out onSunday.
But ultimately, I want to makethis leadership journey easier
and more fun and moreapproachable, and I just I hope
that you take this journey withme.
So thank you all again.
This incident's been so fun andI can't wait to talk to you
further in the fall.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of lead into it.
(24:34):
If you enjoyed this episode, itwould mean a lot to me If you
would leave a review on Applepodcast or Spotify to help
future listeners.
If you want to learn more aboutthe podcast or me, go to
leadintoitco.
That's leadintoitco.
Thanks again.
You're listening to episode 53 of the Lead into a
Podcast.
Hello and welcome to theepisode that is going to close
out the season of 10 episodes.
I'm so excited to talk with youall about this past season, all
(00:22):
the things that I've learned,what still resonates with me and
just kind of a reflection ofwhat I have seen and heard and
what I hope to continue for thenext upcoming season that'll
happen in the fall.
So we've reached the end of theseason and I just wanted to
take a moment to reflect on allthe things that I've learned
still, what sticks with me andwhy the season meant so much.
(00:44):
In a newsletter a couple ofweeks ago, I shared what my word
of the year was, and that wordwas commit and I felt very
determined to commit, especiallyto the season of Lead Into it.
For some weird reason, as Imentioned earlier in the intro
episode to the season, it wasvery challenging for me to kind
(01:05):
of hop back on board thispodcast.
I love this podcast.
I learned so much every singleepisode and I wanted to make
sure that I committed tofinishing out this season of 10
episodes and let me tell you itwas hard.
It's very challenging to dothese episodes and to make sure
that they get done.
And then, when I started outthe season, I always feel like I
(01:27):
have so much content, so muchinformation, and then, as you
get closer to the end of the 10episodes, you're like, oh, I
need another episode, I needanother episode.
And with me, using the wordcommit, I was realizing that I
was bringing it up in myconversations on a day-to-day
basis.
It was something that was topof mind for me, because I was
(01:47):
very focused on making sure thatthis goal of mine was going to
be completed, and so, with thatand that determination, I was
able to complete it.
Without that, without that wordof that reminder of committing,
I don't think I would havefinished the season, because
there's literally, I think, twoor three episodes that came up
(02:09):
because I was havingconversations with people about
the podcast that I was committedto completing, and I'm so
grateful for that, because I wasable to see how these all came
out to fruition and becamecompleted.
All came out to fruition andbecame completed, and this
podcast season was worth everyminute, every episode.
(02:30):
I learned so much from everysingle person I had on the
podcast, and each guestcontinues to teach me something
new, something I didn't realizeI need to learn, or they
reminded me of things that Ineeded to do, that I had
forgotten, and so I think theepisodes that I mean every
single episode resonated with me.
(02:51):
I learned so much from everysingle person I brought on the
show and I think what I continueto learn through this
experience of learning aboutleadership is one how important
leadership is, the leadershiparound you, the leadership that
is surrounding you impacts somuch of your day-to-day life,
(03:11):
and whether it's informalleadership or formal leadership,
I mean me personally.
While the season was going, Ihad experienced all different
forms of leadership bad, good,in between, neutral, my own
leadership and I could seecontinuously how these little
(03:33):
moments of leadership built andhelped me grow, not only for
this podcast, but for my ownleadership and what I hope to
provide for others.
I see how every person isdifferent when it comes to
leadership.
Every characteristic of aleader is so different, and each
person provides their ownperspective and own form of
(03:55):
leadership.
Nothing is going to be cookiecutter for every single person
and, in addition to that,everyone's reaction to the
different forms of leadership isnever going to be the same.
So, even if there is a cookiecutter response to a form of
(04:16):
leadership.
Your response is not going tobe that cookie cutter response.
You're going to responddifferently because you are
human and everyone is different.
So, understanding that, as Icontinue to move forward with
these conversations and that'swhy some of these conversations,
I love them dearly, some of thestuff I'm like I don't know if
that's my specific type ofleadership, but I always publish
(04:40):
what I have because I thinkthat everyone takes a little bit
something different from eachepisode, and I love that.
I think that everyone takes alittle bit something different
from each episode, and I lovethat.
I think that that shows thatleadership is different for
every single person and there isno specific or exactly correct
response.
I will say, though, that,coming from these leadership
(05:02):
conversations, is that I amcontinuously reminded how
important leadership is, andalso from my personal
experiences.
There was a gentleman, in hispodcast episode, talked about
the worthiness of being a leader, and it's not your worth
because you have gained therespect or you've gotten a
(05:25):
promotion or a title, or youhave the experience in that
realm.
The worthiness comes from youunderstanding the responsibility
of what it means to be a leaderfor others and to carry that
weight with you as you continueto grow and be a leader for
others, understanding how thatworth can impact so many people.
(05:49):
And I was recently reminded ofthis because of a situation
where I had a leader that and itwas several levels above, but
it was incredible to see howthis leader could impact so many
people and their lives andbring.
(06:12):
This is hard to share, becauseit's like I don't want to share
too much, but also I want toshare just how impactful like
one person's decision and oneperson's reaction can have to a
group of like 20 people, and Imean or even more than 20 people
, because I've saw churn.
I saw people being impactedtrying to figure out what was
(06:37):
wanted, what was needed, becauseall they wanted to do was
support and help this person,but the person couldn't provide
specific guidance or thefeedback was varying throughout
the time that we were working onthis and there was just a lot
of churn, a lot of extra energytrying to figure out what was
wanted, because the leader didnot provide specific enough
feedback or it just wasn'tcorrect.
(06:58):
And me personally, I realizedhow much I was impacted by it
because of, like my own previousexperiences when it comes to
the leadership world, and Icould see how that, how I was
reacting, how I was showing up,and there was a lot of moments
where I was like, am I doingsomething wrong?
(07:19):
And I wasn't sure.
And this person's, thisleader's reaction made me unsure
, which is fine, like take thefeedback.
But I guess what I'm trying tosay is I could see how one
sentence from a high levelleader impacted a group of about
10 to 20 people to either domore work 10 to 20 people to
(07:49):
either do more work, adjust howthey were doing the work, being
unsure if they were doing thework correctly and thus creating
multiple options, spendinghours upon hours trying to
figure out what the right answerwas going to be, because they
weren't sure, and, in turn, thataffected their personal lives,
(08:09):
because what extra hours werebeing spent at work was not
being spent at home.
And even if that extra time wasbeing spent at home, how much
of that emotional or mentalenergy was continuously being
spent at work, even when theywere in the home space.
And so I wanted to bring thatup as a reminder to everyone,
(08:32):
saying if you lead one person,if you lead yourself, if you
lead a hundred, understand theworth and the responsibility of
your leadership and how thatimpacts every single person
around you, because you mightnot know that you sending one
email saying one thing couldimpact the mental energy of
(08:55):
somebody's night.
I think I brought this up in aprevious episode, but there was
a good comment that one of myprevious guest messages from an
earlier episode, jason Barnaby,and he brought up a conversation
where his manager, as he waspromoted to a new leadership
(09:16):
role, he said to Jason are youready to be the topic of
conversation at dinner amongstyour couples and families?
And I think that's aninteresting reminder to
understand that when you arepromoted into a role of
leadership and you aresupervising others, that your
(09:37):
actions and what you do and yourdecisions are going to impact
those around you and thus becometopic of conversation between
the people you supervise andtheir significant others.
And that shows how impactfulyour role is in people's lives.
(09:57):
And so I say this to say do nottake that for granted.
Take that for granted,understand the responsibility
you carry as a leader and knowthat the decisions and comments
and ways that you approachthings is not just impacting
yourself or your projects.
It is impacting each personindividually every single time
(10:21):
you talk about those things orevery single time you take an
action and the season, theepisodes and my personal
experience continuously remindme of that.
All of that to say wow.
You, as a leader, have impactaround others.
I understand how much controlyou have as an individual, too,
(10:44):
and you can lead yourself inways that you and I mean me
personally I continuously forget.
You can choose how you show up.
You can choose what you takeresponsibility for and how you
respond.
You choose what mental energyyou get to be at home.
You choose how much control youhave.
(11:07):
There's a lot of things thatyou do have control over, and
there's a lot of things that youdon't have control over.
One you don't have control overother people's reactions.
You don't have control over howpeople are going to take
information that you provide tothem.
You don't have control overwhat's going on in somebody
else's life when it comes tooutside impacts.
(11:27):
That is just part of theirpersonal life.
You do have control over yourreactions, your response, how
you want to take things andinterpret things, who you want
to be ultimately.
And so I had a coaching sessionrecently and we were talking
about, uh, how to get betterfeedback, and something else
(11:49):
that continues to come up inconversations throughout these
episodes is, uh, how to setexpectations and hold people
accountable.
I think a lot of times, weexpect to hear that from others,
but we don't even know what ourown expectations are of
ourselves.
That from others, but we don'teven know what our own
expectations are of ourselves.
So, when you're asking forfeedback or to be held
(12:12):
accountable, what is thatmeasurement that you're asking
to be held to?
Who do you want to be as youcontinue to grow, and if you are
holding yourself accountable tothat, what does that look like?
And so I would encourage you toask that question moving
forward as you're growing inyour career, as you're reaching
for those goals, who do you wantto be and what expectations do
(12:36):
you have for yourself and howcan you hold yourself
accountable?
And then, how can you askothers to hold you accountable
in those moments as well?
Because that's a huge aspect ofwhat you can control and how
you can determine how you wantto show up.
Another thing that continuouslycame up in conversations
throughout the season was thatleadership is not about being
(12:59):
perfect.
In fact, I would say it's aboutfeeling as much as you can,
because that's how you learn,and I know Sarah Blakely from
Spanx talks about how she grewup and she had dinners with her
dad and her dad would ask theirentire family how did you fail
(13:19):
today?
And that would be the topic ofconversation.
And when it comes to leadership, there's a lot of moments where
we have to make decisions andI've felt this personally.
I know others have too whenyou're afraid to make a decision
because you're afraid it'sgoing to be the wrong decision.
When I was at Charleston, I wasleading a team of about 20
people and that's when theAfghanistan withdrawal was
(13:42):
happening and our team on theground was going in Charleston,
was going to be involved in amajor aspect of the Afghanistan
withdrawal.
And when it comes to publicaffairs, I had to figure out how
to provide the historicalcoverage because it was going to
be a newsworthy event, and sowe had to preemptively decide
(14:03):
how we were going to take photos, take videos.
And I remember thinking thiswas on a Friday that I had to
make a decision of are we goingto go on 24 hour ops and on
Friday I had to tell my teamthat we were going on 24 hour
ops for the weekend, and it wasa decision I did not make
(14:25):
lightly and honestly I hate thatI had to take away people's
time, but the decision was madebecause I knew for the future of
the military aspect of what weneeded.
The video and photos of whatwas going on was going to have a
major impact on the newscoverage.
Leadership is about makingdecisions and it is hard to make
(14:49):
decisions.
This season also reminded methat leadership isn't perfect.
Being a leader, you're going tomake a lot of mistakes
continuously.
That is just part of theprocess of being a leader and
there's many ways that you cantry to approach the aspect of
(15:14):
not being perfect.
What's come up a lot in theseconversations is everyone's
human.
If you're an individualcontributor and you're butting
heads with your leader, yourleader's probably thinking we're
butting heads and I don't knowwhy.
I think the biggest thing isgiving grace to all those people
(15:39):
that surround you when it comesto being a leader, because you
don't know what people are goingthrough personally and being a
leader is a human endeavor.
It is something that willforever evolve, forever change,
and how you approach it willevolve and change.
There is no perfect leader.
(16:00):
There's no perfect leader.
There's as much as I haveleaders that I admire as much as
there are people who I thinkare really great leaders.
There will never be a perfectleader.
Everyone will make mistakes,everyone will make a wrong
decision, and that is part of it.
(16:21):
And part of the reason I'msaying this aloud is because it
is a reminder for myself too, assomeone who really tries hard
to be, probably, a perfectleader, because I would love to
think that, as a leadershipcoach, that I would be a perfect
leader, and that is absolutely100% false.
(16:43):
And I would love to say that Ihave all the answers and I've
seen all the things.
But I can tell you from aday-to-day experience that I
myself have to remind, as wellas my friends have to remind me,
that, oh, this experience isgoing to be a really good
(17:06):
opportunity to learn aboutleadership.
Why don't you talk about thisexperience on your podcast?
Why don't you talk about youknow?
This will only make you abetter leadership coach.
Oh, it's so frustrating to hear, because sometimes, you know, I
just want all the answers too,as I'm sure everyone does.
If we had all the answers tobeing the perfect leader,
wouldn't that make the world somuch better?
(17:26):
And I will say that's part ofthe intent of this podcast and
my leadership coaching isbecause I would love to create
easier, simpler experiences whenit comes to being in the
workplace and growing in yourcareer and growing in your
(17:50):
career.
But it's messy.
Leadership is a messyexperience and while we can try
to be the best leaders that wecan be, I think the
understanding that giving graceis probably the best experience
that you can have on both ends.
So earlier I talked about theexperience with I saw a leader
who, like, impacted a lot ofpeople.
There's moments where I take astep back to and, while it
(18:11):
frustrates me to no end to seesomebody who does not understand
the impact of their decisionsand how they react to others, I
also remind myself that I needto give them grace because I
don't know what their personalexperience is in this moment.
They might be under a lot ofstress, they might be going
(18:32):
through a lot of other personalaspects of their life.
So it is understanding thatmaybe it's not personal and
maybe this is me just expressinghow I'm feeling when it comes
to experiencing moments ofdifferent types of leadership
over the course of the past sixmonths, but leadership feels
(18:53):
personal because it does impacta lot of different aspects of
our life, but it isn't personaloverall.
And so what you're hearing, whatI'm hearing myself say, is two
different perspectives.
One is that you shouldunderstand the worthiness and
(19:14):
responsibility of the being aleader and what it carries, but
also understand that leadershipis a human endeavor and we're
not perfect.
Leadership is a human endeavorand we're not perfect.
And so, with those two bookendswhich sometimes feel like the
opposite ends of spectrum kindof meet in the middle, and I
(19:39):
understand that leadership is ajourney and there's going to be
ups and downs and it's going tobe a roller coaster and it's all
about who you want to be in theend.
As I build the next season, I'mreally excited.
I have some people lined up forinterviews and, again, I just
love talking with people and thebest thing about these podcast
interviews for me personally isthat I get to have the
(20:01):
conversation once and then Ilisten to it when I'm editing it
and I gain so much through thatsecond time of listening.
And so I'd love to know what ison your mind and what you want
to hear about, and what topicsare you craving.
I talked to my friends aboutthis and I have received
feedback on some of the episodesand I'm glad to hear that so
(20:23):
many people are getting a lot ofgood information from these
episodes and learning from them.
But I really want to make animpact on.
Maybe there's an area in whichyou want to hear about
personally, and I'm in a silosometimes when it comes to
leadership, because I have myown experiences.
So what is that experience thatyou're like?
Oh, I just I have no idea howto approach it, and there's a
(20:52):
lot of things where I thinkwe're just kind of told to deal
with it.
And what if there was somebodyout there who had an answer?
And I'd love to try to findthat for you.
So send me an email, sarah atelite into it.
That's in the show notes.
Feel free to Instagram, dm meor follow up through my
newsletter, and I'd be happy tofind these answers for you,
(21:12):
because no one should have to gothrough a leadership journey on
their own.
It is a commitment and it is acommunity event being a leader.
If you are doing leadership onyour own, you're doing it wrong.
There's no way to be a leaderon your own, no way, and so I
will tell you right now if youare like I'm just doing it on my
(21:34):
own, I'm not seeking any advice.
That is the absolute wrong wayto do it.
There is a community out there.
You should have at least oneperson that you are bouncing
ideas off of, and so let'screate that community here of
your sounding board, of yourcabinet of people who you have,
maybe a devil's advocate, maybesomebody who is somebody who you
(21:58):
admire.
Let's create that communityhere, and I'd love to create
that sounding board or thatcabinet or that mentor for you
in this podcast in some wayshape or form.
So send me your questions, sendme your concerns, send me a
situation that you'reencountering that you're like I
have no idea how to approachthis, and we will work to create
(22:20):
.
It might not be the answer, butmaybe a path or a way forward
for you.
And, last but not least, thanksfor being on this journey with
me.
Again, I have so much fun doingthese episodes and, yes, they're
a lot of work.
I think they're worth the timeand the effort If it helps one
person to either explore anexperience in a different way or
(22:42):
help to be a better supervisor,because if we have better
leaders in the world, thenpeople see what good leadership
is like, and then they alsocreate the world of better
leadership for the people thatare after them, and it is a 100%
trickle effect.
I just I know that people aregoing through hard times all
(23:05):
over when it comes to trying tofigure out the next step in
their career building a business, uh, working with somebody who
they're just like.
I like this person, but I feellike I'm not working the best
that we can together and we canhelp create that experience to
help make it a little bit easierand to help grow in ourselves
(23:26):
and in others.
And I love this journey.
I love it.
It's hard, it's messy, it's.
It has really good moments.
It has hard moments.
I mean there's laughter tears,I mean it's.
I mean there's laughter tears.
I mean it's the whole wicked ofleadership, is the whole thing.
(23:46):
But ultimately, I'm loving thisjourney and I hope that you
continue joining me with it.
The next season will come out inthe fall.
Look out for another set ofepisodes coming out in the fall.
Until then, you can find me onInstagram, which is linked in
the show notes, and feel free tosign up for my weekly
(24:11):
newsletter, which comes out onSunday.
But ultimately, I want to makethis leadership journey easier
and more fun and moreapproachable, and I just I hope
that you take this journey withme.
So thank you all again.
This incident's been so fun andI can't wait to talk to you
further in the fall.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of lead into it.
(24:34):
If you enjoyed this episode, itwould mean a lot to me If you
would leave a review on Applepodcast or Spotify to help
future listeners.
If you want to learn more aboutthe podcast or me, go to
leadintoitco.
That's leadintoitco.
Thanks again.
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