October 27, 2023 • 21 mins
Prepare yourself to journey through the intricate layers of identity, purpose, and success, specifically designed to empower black women, but universally beneficial for anyone seeking growth. I unravel the gift of identity, spotlighting the necessity of owning our narratives and strengths. The conversation takes a deep dive into how our upbringing and cultural exposure mould our values, and how these values, in turn, shape our lives.
The crucial aspect? Taking time to reflect, to ensure our values lead us towards the path we desire.
But there's more. I venture further into the realms of mental well-being and self-empowerment. In the hustle of daily routines, we often forget the vitality of nourishing our minds, of being intentional about our desires, and of managing expectations during challenging times.
Interweaving personal experiences and professional insights, I, demonstrate how these elements of self-empowerment are deeply linked to our mental well-being.
The crux of this episode is understanding the power within us, loving ourselves first, and strutting confidently in our purpose.
Embark on this empowering conversation with me, aimed at nurturing our identity, uncovering our purpose, and defining success on our own terms.
Stay Connected with Maureen:
Mindsight Store: https://www.mindsightstore.com
Website: https://www.maureenchiana.com
Academy: https://www.themindsightacademy.com/
Mindsight Women's Network: https://bit.ly/3qvAzg1
Articles on Brainz: https://bit.ly/brainz-dig
Book A Consultation: https://calendly.com/maureen-77/30min
Thank you for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to hit 'Subscribe' to stay updated on future conversations.
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Stay curious and empowered!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, incredible listeners, welcome to the Lead
to Excel podcast.
I'm your host, maureen Chihana,ceo and founder of the Mindsite
Academy.
Before we dive into today'sempowering episode, uniquely
designed for black women becauseyou know what we are coming to
(00:22):
the end of Black History Month,so it's time for me to speak to
sisters I want to remind you toplease subscribe, rate and
review our podcast.
Your support helps us reachmore listeners like you and it
ensures that you don't miss anyupcoming episodes.
(00:42):
Today, we're all aboutunveiling the power within us.
As much as I'm speakingspecifically to black women, I
feel that everyone will benefitfrom this episode.
Kind of listen and personalizeit to you.
So we're diving deep intoidentity, purpose, success and
(01:09):
mental well-being.
Are you ready?
Let's dive in First off.
Let's unwrap the gift ofidentity.
As a black woman, it'simportant to recognize that you
carry a rich legacy and heritage.
(01:29):
Embrace the beautiful spectrumof our shades, shapes and
stories.
Our identity is not just indeep.
It's woven into the very fabricof who we are, and that's why
it's so important to own yournarratives, your strengths and
(01:50):
your experiences.
As we go through life, we allhave different cultures,
different expectations,externally and internally.
It's so important to becomereally aware of who you are
(02:12):
aware of who you want to be.
I was raised in the UK and alsoin Africa, in Nigeria, and the
culture in both places is sodifferent.
One of the things that reallystruck me as a young black girl
(02:33):
growing up in Africa was theemphasis on the male child, and
in the tribe actually come from,it was even more pronounced
that if you did not have a malechild, you had no one to carry
on your name or legacy.
As I grew up, I startedwondering the impact this had on
(02:57):
me and as a young girl itactually made me feel inadequate
, unimportant.
But one thing I'm so gratefulto God for was the kind of
mother I had.
My mother, bless her soul, wassuch a strong force that she had
(03:21):
two girls and the pressure onher or discrimination and biases
were immense.
But she raised us to be strongwomen.
She made us see ourselves asimportant and value ourselves,
(03:42):
and that really helped meimmensely.
Today, in the work I do as aneuroleadership consultant and
coach, I see so many women whofeel lost because of this
identity crisis, of growing up,when you're brought up to feel
(04:03):
that you're not important orthat you're less important than
a boy, child or than a man andthis is why I'm specifically
doing this podcast today is toreally get you as a woman,
especially a black woman.
(04:24):
There's the bias in the culturewhen you really look at the
data, of where women are.
Yes, we talk a lot about womenempowerment, but the black woman
is even more disadvantaged, andI've told on this podcast how I
was working in a place with anEnglishman doing the same role
(04:50):
it wasn't actually the same rolebecause I was managing a bigger
area than he was and he waspaid about 10K more than I was
and when I found out and Iapproached the leadership team
and HR, they did not do anythingabout it.
(05:11):
So you kind of have this notionof where are you.
I must say that that experienceeven propelled me more to get
the best for myself, which I did.
So, even though they did notincrease my pay, actually got
out of them something that washigher than my pay grade and
(05:35):
actually helped me when I thenlaunched out on my own to set up
my own business.
But it also helped me to helpso many other women understand
how to negotiate for themselvesthis power of our brain in terms
of how we think and how weperceive ourselves.
(05:59):
The value we place on ourselvesis so important, because if you
do not value who you are, if youdo not know who you are, who
you are, then you will struggleto actually achieve much or get
what you want for yourself.
There's also the interestingaspect of when we talk about
(06:20):
value.
The thing about value is if you, if your identity of who you
are, is wrong, your value ofyourself would be so low as well
, and that's why inorganizations, you see a lot of
women leaders who try to be menor true, who try to act like
(06:43):
them.
Act like a man.
You don't need to to beinfluential.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to be somebodyelse to achieve the success you
want.
That is when you start feelingvery Inauthentic and it actually
comes across that you're notbeing authentic.
The issue of identity alsoBecomes a problem where you see
(07:09):
a lot of women Leaders or women,in particular women in business
, who constantly comparethemselves to other people and
not able to Achieve what isright for them.
And this actually brings me tothe topic of Puppies.
(07:30):
Puppies is like the not star.
It guides us through life'svoyage.
Mal's Monroe is quoted asrightly saying that you don't
find purpose, rather, youdiscover Purpose.
Your purpose has always beenthere.
It's your why, the drivingforce behind your actions.
(07:51):
So, for every single person,it's important For you to
discover what your purpose is.
It's important to nurture yourpassions, your skills and your
values and align them withopportunities that come your way
to enable you rise and thrive.
(08:13):
The problem is, you will notsee the opportunities that will
get you to your purpose If youdon't know what that purpose is
and if your values are wrong.
Now, values, like I was saying,come from your upbringing, your
culture, what you've beenexposed to, what you're exposed
(08:36):
to through education, throughyour teachers.
So it's important, as an adult,but also as an adult, we need
to teach the young, the children, our youth, how to look deep
into themselves and understandthe values that have been wired
into them or Into us, so you canmake the decision if that value
(08:59):
is truly what you want it to beand if it will get you to where
you want to go.
Because if you have the wrongvalue, it will take you to the
wrong destination, where you areachieving the wrong thing.
That and then that's why youhear, a lot of times, people
saying that they don't feelFulfilled, they don't feel that
(09:22):
they're enjoying what they'redoing.
So it's so important to reallyunderstand what your purpose is,
so that when life happens maybeyou've been made redundant,
maybe your business fails,different challenges happen in
your relationship you're able tocome back to your purpose and
(09:44):
align yourself and make surethat you don't deviate out of it
because of the challenge thatyou face.
Because when we go throughchallenges, our emotional brain
gets activated and if you don'ttake that control, it will
direct you to take actions orlead you off course.
(10:08):
So it's important to be incontrol by coming back to your
value, coming back to yourpurpose, rather and it's also
important to remember thatpurpose isn't static.
It evolves as we journeythrough the different stages of
life and it's actually unfoldingas you go through life.
(10:31):
But you've got to go throughlife to really understand what
your full purpose is, and thatmeans taking action, that means
doing something and not juststaying still and waiting for
things to happen for you.
I just want to take a minutehere and announce the reopening
(10:52):
of membership registrations atthe MindSight Women's Network.
This is a network that I set upto bring women together to
really dig deep into scripture,using science and scripture to
truly understand what ourpurpose and values and identity
(11:15):
is, to enable us to live thelife that we are called to live.
So, since this exceptionalopportunity to join a community
where unique amalgamation ofscience and biblical principles
flourish, empowering women likeyou to thrive beyond boundaries,
our network is not just amembership.
(11:35):
It's a transformative journeyand it's your opportunity to
dive into an enrichingenvironment where you can
cultivate resilience, nurturemeaningful connections and
embolden your spirit.
At MindSight Women's Network,you will experience the powerful
convergence of collectivewisdom and individual growth.
(11:57):
Don't miss your chance to bepart of a network that
reverberates with empowermentand profound insight, uniquely
designed to foster theflourishing of women in manifold
dimensions of life.
You can join our waiting listnow to ensure that you join and
(12:18):
embark on this transformativejourney where you're empowered
to thrive.
So back to our journey.
Let's explore success now.
Success isn't a one size fitsall concept, so you need to
define what success means to you.
The amount of times people havecome to me for coaching and we
(12:43):
start talking about success,they can't even define what it
means to them.
A lot of times, people aredefining success by somebody
else definition of success.
So you need to define whatsuccess means to you, and this
will align with the purpose wetalked about previously.
(13:04):
And once you define whatsuccess means to you, then you
need to set goals.
And setting goals is a veryimportant one, especially as we
come to this time of the yearwhere everybody starts talking
about setting goals and Icreated a program about this a
few years ago, which is now partof this MindSight Women's
(13:26):
Network because the problem iswhat a lot of people do is it's
time to set goals.
Okay, I need to sit down andbrainstorm and then just jot
down the goals I'm setting, andthat's why most times, you don't
achieve them or you get amidway through.
When life happens or challengeshappen, you find yourself
(13:47):
giving reasons why you can'ttake the actions you know you
need to take to achieve thosegoals.
You know what I'm talking aboutthe self-subtract, the
procrastination, those thingsthat come up when the brain
starts telling you put it off,we'll do it later.
The reason for that is thatyour goals are not aligned with
(14:09):
your emotional brain.
What do I mean by that?
But when you're setting goals alot of times we're setting
goals consciously what actuallywill enable you achieve those
goals is when it's connected toyour subconscious brain, because
that's connected to yourpurpose, connected to who you
(14:32):
truly are and where you want togo, and that's what will enable
you to stay resilient, staymotivated, that's what will keep
the passion going, that's what,when the passion even goes down
because of life, you're able tostay focused.
And the honest truth is, ashuman beings, most times we
can't do this on our own, andthat's why we need connecting to
(14:56):
people.
So crafting a path thatresonates with your aspirations
is so important.
Celebrate each milestone youachieve, because this is what
will enable you to keep going,to reach the end and achieve
that success.
And celebrate these milestones,no matter how small, because
(15:18):
every step forward is a triumphover challenges that you faced.
Finally, but profoundlysignificant, is mental
well-being.
It's essential to nourish ourminds as we do our bodies.
And you know something?
I ask people the things thatyou say to yourself in your mind
(15:41):
would you actually say tosomebody else?
Would you tell somebody thosethings you tell yourself?
It's unbelievable how cruelhuman beings can be to
themselves.
It's unbelievable how women inparticular can be so
(16:02):
self-critical of themselves, butthey are quick to give other
people advice, but we don't takethe advice ourselves.
So you need to stop and startpaying attention to what you
tell yourself.
When you're in a relationshipand you're unhappy, what do you
(16:23):
do?
A lot of women don't sayanything the amount of women
going through divorce in toxicrelationships and they keep
quiet because of the shame,because of what the church will
say.
And this is where you need tobe so careful, because in
suppressing and keeping a lot ofthat inward and not doing
(16:47):
anything about it is even moreharmful to you, to your body,
because that will create a lotof anxiety, consistent anxiety
and consistent stress, whichthen damages ourselves and can
then lead to different types ofailments.
And that's the whole point ofdisease when we move away from
(17:08):
ease and it becomes a disease.
So knowing how to speak to isimportant, doing something about
your situation is important,and it's worth remembering that
the only person you can changeis yourself, and that change has
to start from what you'retelling yourself, from your
(17:28):
thought process.
You are in control of who youare.
You've got to be intentionalabout what you want.
Stop living your life for otherpeople.
Take time out for yourself todo what you enjoy doing.
Take time out for yourself tojust be you, to think about what
(17:51):
you want to read, to walk, toexercise if you enjoy exercising
, going for coffee but don'tsuppress emotions.
Experience what you're goingthrough and reach out to the
right people for help.
And this is where I would saythat our churches need to start
(18:14):
being more helpful.
When women struggle in church,they keep quiet because most
times when they speak out, theyare told to go and pray.
Praying is good, but that's notenough.
You need to understand, as awoman, that you're not a second
class citizen.
You don't have to be oppressedby anyone and stop relying on
(18:36):
someone to love you.
Do you understand what I mean?
Love yourself first.
Remember that God loves youabove anyone and anything.
But love yourself first so thatsomebody else that you're
expecting to love you doesn'tand it completely throws you.
(18:58):
Manage your expectations ofother people when you're in a
situation that you're not happy.
Stop and reflect on yourselffirst to see what the situation
is, and if it's one that istoxic, that is dangerous, then
look after yourself by gettingout.
(19:19):
If it's one that you're puttingexpectations onto somebody else
to give you something, give youlove, give you affection, give
you finances.
First and foremost, do it foryourself.
Love yourself.
What do you need to do to giveyourself finances?
Do you need to start a business, and you can start small.
(19:41):
Do you need to get a skill?
Do you need to build up yourskills so that you can do
something that will give you thesuccess and the finances you
need?
My message literally is you can.
You really really can.
You can do all things.
You are enough.
Surround yourself withpositivity, and that includes
(20:08):
what you're telling yourself.
Engage in activities that bringyou joy and don't hesitate to
seek professional advice whenneeded.
If you're listening to thispodcast and you really want to
talk to someone, I'm gonna put alink in the description.
Book a call with me and let'shave a chat.
(20:28):
Don't stay as a victim.
Arise and do what you've beencalled to do.
There are people out therewaiting for you, waiting for
that gift that you have to helpthem.
So reach out and let's talk.
As I wrap up this episode,remember your path is uniquely
(20:50):
beautiful and your path isuniquely yours.
Own it.
Continue nurturing youridentity, walking in your
purpose, chasing your successand taking care of your mental
health.
Stay empowered in, build withthe richness of our shared
(21:11):
heritage and incredible power ofour potentials.
And before you go, don't forgetto subscribe, rate and review
this podcast.
It's a simple way to support usand it ensures that essential
conversations like this keepcoming your way.
Thank you for joining today andremember you're not alone on
(21:33):
this journey.
Stay empowered and excel inevery area of your life.
Remember you are limitless.
Hello, incredible listeners, welcome to the Lead
to Excel podcast.
I'm your host, maureen Chihana,ceo and founder of the Mindsite
Academy.
Before we dive into today'sempowering episode, uniquely
designed for black women becauseyou know what we are coming to
(00:22):
the end of Black History Month,so it's time for me to speak to
sisters I want to remind you toplease subscribe, rate and
review our podcast.
Your support helps us reachmore listeners like you and it
ensures that you don't miss anyupcoming episodes.
(00:42):
Today, we're all aboutunveiling the power within us.
As much as I'm speakingspecifically to black women, I
feel that everyone will benefitfrom this episode.
Kind of listen and personalizeit to you.
So we're diving deep intoidentity, purpose, success and
(01:09):
mental well-being.
Are you ready?
Let's dive in First off.
Let's unwrap the gift ofidentity.
As a black woman, it'simportant to recognize that you
carry a rich legacy and heritage.
(01:29):
Embrace the beautiful spectrumof our shades, shapes and
stories.
Our identity is not just indeep.
It's woven into the very fabricof who we are, and that's why
it's so important to own yournarratives, your strengths and
(01:50):
your experiences.
As we go through life, we allhave different cultures,
different expectations,externally and internally.
It's so important to becomereally aware of who you are
(02:12):
aware of who you want to be.
I was raised in the UK and alsoin Africa, in Nigeria, and the
culture in both places is sodifferent.
One of the things that reallystruck me as a young black girl
(02:33):
growing up in Africa was theemphasis on the male child, and
in the tribe actually come from,it was even more pronounced
that if you did not have a malechild, you had no one to carry
on your name or legacy.
As I grew up, I startedwondering the impact this had on
(02:57):
me and as a young girl itactually made me feel inadequate
, unimportant.
But one thing I'm so gratefulto God for was the kind of
mother I had.
My mother, bless her soul, wassuch a strong force that she had
(03:21):
two girls and the pressure onher or discrimination and biases
were immense.
But she raised us to be strongwomen.
She made us see ourselves asimportant and value ourselves,
(03:42):
and that really helped meimmensely.
Today, in the work I do as aneuroleadership consultant and
coach, I see so many women whofeel lost because of this
identity crisis, of growing up,when you're brought up to feel
(04:03):
that you're not important orthat you're less important than
a boy, child or than a man andthis is why I'm specifically
doing this podcast today is toreally get you as a woman,
especially a black woman.
(04:24):
There's the bias in the culturewhen you really look at the
data, of where women are.
Yes, we talk a lot about womenempowerment, but the black woman
is even more disadvantaged, andI've told on this podcast how I
was working in a place with anEnglishman doing the same role
(04:50):
it wasn't actually the same rolebecause I was managing a bigger
area than he was and he waspaid about 10K more than I was
and when I found out and Iapproached the leadership team
and HR, they did not do anythingabout it.
(05:11):
So you kind of have this notionof where are you.
I must say that that experienceeven propelled me more to get
the best for myself, which I did.
So, even though they did notincrease my pay, actually got
out of them something that washigher than my pay grade and
(05:35):
actually helped me when I thenlaunched out on my own to set up
my own business.
But it also helped me to helpso many other women understand
how to negotiate for themselvesthis power of our brain in terms
of how we think and how weperceive ourselves.
(05:59):
The value we place on ourselvesis so important, because if you
do not value who you are, if youdo not know who you are, who
you are, then you will struggleto actually achieve much or get
what you want for yourself.
There's also the interestingaspect of when we talk about
(06:20):
value.
The thing about value is if you, if your identity of who you
are, is wrong, your value ofyourself would be so low as well
, and that's why inorganizations, you see a lot of
women leaders who try to be menor true, who try to act like
(06:43):
them.
Act like a man.
You don't need to to beinfluential.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to be somebodyelse to achieve the success you
want.
That is when you start feelingvery Inauthentic and it actually
comes across that you're notbeing authentic.
The issue of identity alsoBecomes a problem where you see
(07:09):
a lot of women Leaders or women,in particular women in business
, who constantly comparethemselves to other people and
not able to Achieve what isright for them.
And this actually brings me tothe topic of Puppies.
(07:30):
Puppies is like the not star.
It guides us through life'svoyage.
Mal's Monroe is quoted asrightly saying that you don't
find purpose, rather, youdiscover Purpose.
Your purpose has always beenthere.
It's your why, the drivingforce behind your actions.
(07:51):
So, for every single person,it's important For you to
discover what your purpose is.
It's important to nurture yourpassions, your skills and your
values and align them withopportunities that come your way
to enable you rise and thrive.
(08:13):
The problem is, you will notsee the opportunities that will
get you to your purpose If youdon't know what that purpose is
and if your values are wrong.
Now, values, like I was saying,come from your upbringing, your
culture, what you've beenexposed to, what you're exposed
(08:36):
to through education, throughyour teachers.
So it's important, as an adult,but also as an adult, we need
to teach the young, the children, our youth, how to look deep
into themselves and understandthe values that have been wired
into them or Into us, so you canmake the decision if that value
(08:59):
is truly what you want it to beand if it will get you to where
you want to go.
Because if you have the wrongvalue, it will take you to the
wrong destination, where you areachieving the wrong thing.
That and then that's why youhear, a lot of times, people
saying that they don't feelFulfilled, they don't feel that
(09:22):
they're enjoying what they'redoing.
So it's so important to reallyunderstand what your purpose is,
so that when life happens maybeyou've been made redundant,
maybe your business fails,different challenges happen in
your relationship you're able tocome back to your purpose and
(09:44):
align yourself and make surethat you don't deviate out of it
because of the challenge thatyou face.
Because when we go throughchallenges, our emotional brain
gets activated and if you don'ttake that control, it will
direct you to take actions orlead you off course.
(10:08):
So it's important to be incontrol by coming back to your
value, coming back to yourpurpose, rather and it's also
important to remember thatpurpose isn't static.
It evolves as we journeythrough the different stages of
life and it's actually unfoldingas you go through life.
(10:31):
But you've got to go throughlife to really understand what
your full purpose is, and thatmeans taking action, that means
doing something and not juststaying still and waiting for
things to happen for you.
I just want to take a minutehere and announce the reopening
(10:52):
of membership registrations atthe MindSight Women's Network.
This is a network that I set upto bring women together to
really dig deep into scripture,using science and scripture to
truly understand what ourpurpose and values and identity
(11:15):
is, to enable us to live thelife that we are called to live.
So, since this exceptionalopportunity to join a community
where unique amalgamation ofscience and biblical principles
flourish, empowering women likeyou to thrive beyond boundaries,
our network is not just amembership.
(11:35):
It's a transformative journeyand it's your opportunity to
dive into an enrichingenvironment where you can
cultivate resilience, nurturemeaningful connections and
embolden your spirit.
At MindSight Women's Network,you will experience the powerful
convergence of collectivewisdom and individual growth.
(11:57):
Don't miss your chance to bepart of a network that
reverberates with empowermentand profound insight, uniquely
designed to foster theflourishing of women in manifold
dimensions of life.
You can join our waiting listnow to ensure that you join and
(12:18):
embark on this transformativejourney where you're empowered
to thrive.
So back to our journey.
Let's explore success now.
Success isn't a one size fitsall concept, so you need to
define what success means to you.
The amount of times people havecome to me for coaching and we
(12:43):
start talking about success,they can't even define what it
means to them.
A lot of times, people aredefining success by somebody
else definition of success.
So you need to define whatsuccess means to you, and this
will align with the purpose wetalked about previously.
(13:04):
And once you define whatsuccess means to you, then you
need to set goals.
And setting goals is a veryimportant one, especially as we
come to this time of the yearwhere everybody starts talking
about setting goals and Icreated a program about this a
few years ago, which is now partof this MindSight Women's
(13:26):
Network because the problem iswhat a lot of people do is it's
time to set goals.
Okay, I need to sit down andbrainstorm and then just jot
down the goals I'm setting, andthat's why most times, you don't
achieve them or you get amidway through.
When life happens or challengeshappen, you find yourself
(13:47):
giving reasons why you can'ttake the actions you know you
need to take to achieve thosegoals.
You know what I'm talking aboutthe self-subtract, the
procrastination, those thingsthat come up when the brain
starts telling you put it off,we'll do it later.
The reason for that is thatyour goals are not aligned with
(14:09):
your emotional brain.
What do I mean by that?
But when you're setting goals alot of times we're setting
goals consciously what actuallywill enable you achieve those
goals is when it's connected toyour subconscious brain, because
that's connected to yourpurpose, connected to who you
(14:32):
truly are and where you want togo, and that's what will enable
you to stay resilient, staymotivated, that's what will keep
the passion going, that's what,when the passion even goes down
because of life, you're able tostay focused.
And the honest truth is, ashuman beings, most times we
can't do this on our own, andthat's why we need connecting to
(14:56):
people.
So crafting a path thatresonates with your aspirations
is so important.
Celebrate each milestone youachieve, because this is what
will enable you to keep going,to reach the end and achieve
that success.
And celebrate these milestones,no matter how small, because
(15:18):
every step forward is a triumphover challenges that you faced.
Finally, but profoundlysignificant, is mental
well-being.
It's essential to nourish ourminds as we do our bodies.
And you know something?
I ask people the things thatyou say to yourself in your mind
(15:41):
would you actually say tosomebody else?
Would you tell somebody thosethings you tell yourself?
It's unbelievable how cruelhuman beings can be to
themselves.
It's unbelievable how women inparticular can be so
(16:02):
self-critical of themselves, butthey are quick to give other
people advice, but we don't takethe advice ourselves.
So you need to stop and startpaying attention to what you
tell yourself.
When you're in a relationshipand you're unhappy, what do you
(16:23):
do?
A lot of women don't sayanything the amount of women
going through divorce in toxicrelationships and they keep
quiet because of the shame,because of what the church will
say.
And this is where you need tobe so careful, because in
suppressing and keeping a lot ofthat inward and not doing
(16:47):
anything about it is even moreharmful to you, to your body,
because that will create a lotof anxiety, consistent anxiety
and consistent stress, whichthen damages ourselves and can
then lead to different types ofailments.
And that's the whole point ofdisease when we move away from
(17:08):
ease and it becomes a disease.
So knowing how to speak to isimportant, doing something about
your situation is important,and it's worth remembering that
the only person you can changeis yourself, and that change has
to start from what you'retelling yourself, from your
(17:28):
thought process.
You are in control of who youare.
You've got to be intentionalabout what you want.
Stop living your life for otherpeople.
Take time out for yourself todo what you enjoy doing.
Take time out for yourself tojust be you, to think about what
(17:51):
you want to read, to walk, toexercise if you enjoy exercising
, going for coffee but don'tsuppress emotions.
Experience what you're goingthrough and reach out to the
right people for help.
And this is where I would saythat our churches need to start
(18:14):
being more helpful.
When women struggle in church,they keep quiet because most
times when they speak out, theyare told to go and pray.
Praying is good, but that's notenough.
You need to understand, as awoman, that you're not a second
class citizen.
You don't have to be oppressedby anyone and stop relying on
(18:36):
someone to love you.
Do you understand what I mean?
Love yourself first.
Remember that God loves youabove anyone and anything.
But love yourself first so thatsomebody else that you're
expecting to love you doesn'tand it completely throws you.
(18:58):
Manage your expectations ofother people when you're in a
situation that you're not happy.
Stop and reflect on yourselffirst to see what the situation
is, and if it's one that istoxic, that is dangerous, then
look after yourself by gettingout.
(19:19):
If it's one that you're puttingexpectations onto somebody else
to give you something, give youlove, give you affection, give
you finances.
First and foremost, do it foryourself.
Love yourself.
What do you need to do to giveyourself finances?
Do you need to start a business, and you can start small.
(19:41):
Do you need to get a skill?
Do you need to build up yourskills so that you can do
something that will give you thesuccess and the finances you
need?
My message literally is you can.
You really really can.
You can do all things.
You are enough.
Surround yourself withpositivity, and that includes
(20:08):
what you're telling yourself.
Engage in activities that bringyou joy and don't hesitate to
seek professional advice whenneeded.
If you're listening to thispodcast and you really want to
talk to someone, I'm gonna put alink in the description.
Book a call with me and let'shave a chat.
(20:28):
Don't stay as a victim.
Arise and do what you've beencalled to do.
There are people out therewaiting for you, waiting for
that gift that you have to helpthem.
So reach out and let's talk.
As I wrap up this episode,remember your path is uniquely
(20:50):
beautiful and your path isuniquely yours.
Own it.
Continue nurturing youridentity, walking in your
purpose, chasing your successand taking care of your mental
health.
Stay empowered in, build withthe richness of our shared
(21:11):
heritage and incredible power ofour potentials.
And before you go, don't forgetto subscribe, rate and review
this podcast.
It's a simple way to support usand it ensures that essential
conversations like this keepcoming your way.
Thank you for joining today andremember you're not alone on
(21:33):
this journey.
Stay empowered and excel inevery area of your life.
Remember you are limitless.
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