November 22, 2023 • 62 mins
Discover the power of personal branding on LinkedIn as we share the microphone with Mildred Talabi, a visibility powerhouse and branding coach. Raised in the bustling streets of London with roots in Nigeria, Mildred brings an intriguing blend of cultures, experiences, and wisdom to the table. From her ambitious dreams of building a media empire to now helping individuals shine brightly on LinkedIn, her journey is a testament to the unexpected turns our inner vocations can lead us to.
The conversation takes an empowering turn as we tackle the elephant in the room - visibility challenges on LinkedIn, especially for women. You'll hear Mildred's passionate insights on how to overcome imposter syndrome and insecurities, and her proven strategies to confidently make your mark on LinkedIn. And perhaps you'll find a piece of your own story in my personal journey, from the gut-wrenching shock of a brain tumor diagnosis to the challenging road to recovery, reminding us all that we all harbor our own battles behind the scenes.
As we wind down, we delve into the strength cultivated in adversity. Listen as Mildred shares her inspiring story of facing a life-threatening brain tumor, and how her faith, which is also inscribed on her skin in the form of a tattoo, provided her much-needed comfort and strength.
You'll find food for thought in our discussion on the power of scripture and the healing strength of faith in overcoming life's adversities.
Listen, learn, and let us walk with you on this enlightening journey.
Be sure to subscribe, review, and share our podcast - together, let's inspire more people!
Connect with Mildred:
Website: http://www.mildredtalabi.com
https://www.visiblewomentribe.com
Book a call with Mildred: https://www.startbeingvisible.com/bookacall
Stay Connected with Maureen:
Mindsight Store: https://www.mindsightstore.com
Website: https://www.maureenchiana.com
Academy: https://www.themindsightacademy.com/
Mindsight Women's Network: https://bit.ly/3qvAzg1
Articles on Brainz: https://bit.ly/brainz-dig
Book A Consultation: https://calendly.com/maureen-77/30min
Thank you for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to hit 'Subscribe' to stay updated on future conversations.
For more insights and connections, follow me on LinkedIn, and don't miss out on our exclusive merchandise designed to inspire and rewire at our Online Shop.
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Stay curious and empowered!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
You're tuning in to the Lead toExcel podcast, the hub where
science meets leadership andtransformation begins.
I'm your host, maureen Cheyanna, founder of the Mindsight
Academy, a trail ofneuroleadership.
(00:22):
I'm an executive neurocoach,leadership transformer and a
neuroscience enthusiast,dedicated to empowering leaders,
entrepreneurs and change makerslike you.
Every week, we delve into theheart of neuroscience to learn
how you can unleash yourpotential, master your brain,
(00:45):
manage emotions yours and othersalter behaviors and exceed
expectations.
We are here to help you notjust to survive, but thrive and
flourish in the fast-paced world.
We are about to kick off anotherhigh-impact episode today,
(01:06):
diving into a topic that ispowerful, intriguing and has the
potential to shift yourleadership journey.
So, my friends, it's time toput on your thinking caps, grab
your favorite bep and getcomfortable.
It's time to elevate yourleadership, to excel and so,
(01:27):
hire, let's dive right in.
We are back again with anotherepisode of Lead to Excel podcast
, and today I am really lookingforward to actually having this
chat with Mildred Talavi.
Mildred is great and amazingand wonderful, and I'm excited
(01:50):
to have you on this podcasttoday.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Thank you so much, maureen, and you are equally
great and wonderful.
I look forward to ourconversation.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Thanks so much, so Mildred.
I'm just going to dive right inhere and I'll get you to kind
of introduce yourself and tellus what you do, and then we will
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Sure well, at the moment, the hat that I'm wearing
is I am a LinkedIn visibilityand personal branding coach for
a primarily served woman seniorleaders and careers and women in
business.
So essentially, what I do is tohelp women build powerful,
authentic personal brandsthrough being visible on
(02:37):
LinkedIn.
So, yeah, I love it.
It's very rewarding, veryfulfilling work and definitely
wasn't what I thought I'd bedoing when I started my career
many, many years ago, but it iswhat I'm doing now and I love it
.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So it's interesting you said that.
So what was the plan beforewhat this came about?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, the real plan was at some point I wanted to
build a media empire, likeRupert Murdoch because my
background is journalism, so Itrained as a journalist and I
worked in the media for a bitbefore I moved into PR and then
communications and then I alwayshad a business on the side.
(03:21):
So I've been entrepreneurialfor really young, because my
dad's done all kinds of stuff,so it's in my blood.
So at one point the big visionwas like right, I'm going to
build a media empire so, and Istarted kind of going down that
pathway at 19,.
I started a magazine.
I created a magazine while Iwas at university, use my
(03:43):
student loans to do it, and thenwe quickly ran out of money so
we only had like one edition.
But that was the beginning andthe end of the media empire.
So fast forward.
You know, two decades later,social media, LinkedIn wasn't
even around.
Now this is giving away my age,but LinkedIn wasn't even around
(04:04):
when I was doing my career andgoing along the career path.
So to think that I would cometo specialize in the whole idea
of personal branding and doingit by LinkedIn is just.
That wasn't even on the cards.
But it's amazing where yourcareer can take you when you
just follow the leading on theinside.
(04:25):
That I like to call your innervocation, you know.
So, unless it's where it'staking me today, and it's pretty
exciting.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Amazing.
I'm going to come back to thatpivoting and how you came into
it.
But so let's get to really getto know you a bit more.
So if you tell us a bit of yourbackground, so you grew up in
London, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yes, yes, I did.
I grew up in London, but I wasactually born in Nigeria, you
know.
So I came over to England withmy family when I was very little
I'm not that little, I was inprimary school age, so and then,
yeah, but I spent I've spentthe rest of my life here in the
UK, first London and now Kent'swhere I live.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And Nigeria is still home, even though I haven't been
since I came here, which isterrible, but I do To go.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I know I should, I should right, but I do have that
connection, being that it's mycultural background.
But I do call the UK home.
I am one of five children, sonumber four out of five.
So classic middle childsyndrome stuff growing up, you
know, very independent, verykind of left to my own devices,
(05:42):
sort of thing.
So yeah, today I'm a happilymarried wife and a mom of two
daughters and enjoying thisphase of life that I find myself
in at the moment.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
That's so cool.
So you said that your dad wasalways doing things, because
that interests me a lot, becauseI'm always fascinated by how
what we do as adults hassomething to do with what we see
when we are children.
And you know, it always bringsme back to that whole brain
(06:17):
nurturing what the brain sees.
So tell us a bit about that interms of you know what your dad
was doing and the first time youfound yourself running a
business because I know I spoketo you before and it wasn't when
you were 19.
So that would be interesting tohear.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, it's really funny because I didn't know what
business was and I didn't knowthat my dad was an entrepreneur.
There's a difference between anentrepreneur and a business
person kind of thing, and Ilearned this later on Because
sometimes as an entrepreneur youessentially yourself employed
and there's a difference betweenbeing self-employed and owning
a business.
(06:55):
So my dad was an entrepreneur.
He had different ideas hefollowed, but he was
self-employed like pretty muchfor most of his life.
One of the things I remember hehad a photography studio.
You know that he used to backin.
I was, as I said, I was littlewhen we left Nigeria, but I
remember he had a big studio inNigeria where he was doing
(07:16):
photos and all that kind ofstuff before we had to come over
.
So I think for the influence wasmore subconscious than
conscious and also it must be inmy DNA somewhere because, like
my all my, the five siblings,every single one of us have gone
into our own business, exceptfor one, you know.
(07:38):
But even then that sister, shehas doubled in business and then
decided career is for her, youknow.
So every single one of us hasgone into business.
My first business was at theage of 11, you know which I
started, me and my brothers andsisters.
We started a typing business.
You know a typing service, sothis is honestly, you really I'm
(08:00):
really dating myself here.
I do remember typewriters, youknow.
So I remember typewriters.
My dad was and is an author, sohe's written about and
published about, so publishedabout 27 books today, you know.
So there was a time when heused to manually write his books
(08:22):
pen and paper and then heupgraded to like typing his
books on the typewriter and thenwhen computers came in, he
bought a computer and guess whathe was like?
Huh, I've got five children mylittle brother was too young at
the time but they can type thisstuff for me, you know, and they
can do it for free, as freelabor.
(08:44):
So we used to type my dad'smanuscripts for his books and
they were, I'm telling you,maury, they were thick, they
were like this thick and wewould take like turns every week
during the weekends to typebits of it.
And after a while of doing this,we all kind of thought you know
what, if my dad has got thisneed, and now that more people
(09:07):
are getting computers, theremust be other people like my dad
who have got stuff that theywant to type and we can charge
them to do it.
You know, and that was how ourbusiness, which was called Lynx
Typing Service, you know, wasborn.
We created that business mybrother, who's amazing at art
and design, my older brother, hecreated the logo and the flyers
(09:29):
and we went out to the stationnearest at the time I was living
in Leighton East London and wewent to the station and we
started handing out flyers, youknow, and it took yeah, it
wasn't long, it was maybe acouple of weeks and then we got
our first business.
You know, our first person whopaid us was like a professor or
something who was he wanted his,his thesis typed.
(09:49):
And then we had other, mainlyacademics, would pay us to type
their stuff and we're like thisis good business.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
And then, and then school got in the way, because
we had to go back to schoolbecause of due, some oddities
within most of this, and thatwas where the business ended,
from there that's incrediblethough and it just brings me
back to that point that becauseour brains are wired
subconsciously as children andyou see how you guys saw what
(10:20):
your dad did, because for you,for as for young kids at that
age to think, see, we're doingit for our dad, so we might as
well make money from this,that's, that's really, that's
special, that's great.
And when you say typewriters,gosh, I remember those days of
typewriters, you know.
Oh, yeah.
I still have one in my garagesomewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, it's probably worth a lot.
Right now, we still got one,you know.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm gonna go searching, because I think I do
have one.
Yeah, that's, that's good,great memories, right?
Okay, so now, with thatfoundation, you then started
your career.
Why LinkedIn in particular, andwhy women specifically?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Sure.
So, as I said I was, I had themedia career and I had the
business like side by side.
I was side hustling for myentire career and one of the
businesses that I had for a longtime was a CV makeover business
.
So this is where I was writingCVs.
If you have an internationalaudience, raise your maze, you
(11:30):
know, for mid to senior levelprofessionals and I would help
them to get jobs with the CVsthat I would write for them,
because one of the things I'vealways been good at from very
young is writing.
You know writing, editing words, it's that just they came
natural to me and you know I was.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Well, it's a nice dad that has written how many books
that exactly Right.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So it was in the blood.
You know, as one of thoseannoying kids that would like be
correcting people's work, youknow, whether you ask for it or
not, you know I was, I would doit.
So.
So that was always something Iwas good at and that's how I
ended up starting the CVbusiness.
Because actually I was workingfor a magazine at the time and I
(12:13):
was assistant editor and partof my job was to recruit people
into the role and then intodifferent roles, and then I used
to get CVs and cover lettersand most of them were just
rubbish.
You know, I was like why can'tpeople just write a good CV and
cover letter and then anotherlight bulb whenever you see a
problem and you can meet thatneed?
(12:34):
That is called a business.
You know that is a business.
So I was like here's theproblem.
I've got the skills to meetthis need.
And again, my brother designflies for me and that was the.
I was in business and that thattook off.
Gradually took off my CVbusiness.
I ended up running workshops,writing two books around jump
(12:55):
hunting and speaking indifferent places.
But LinkedIn was a place where Iwas fine and at the time I
wasn't intentional aboutbuilding my profile on LinkedIn.
I was just there, maybe, likesome of you listen, I was there
because it's where you needed tobe if you're a professional,
but I would find that peoplewould contact me and approach me
through LinkedIn on a fairlyregular basis and most of my
(13:18):
business came through LinkedInand this was me doing little
activity.
And then I also found thatLinkedIn was also helped with my
career but that's something foranother point, possibly a
little explore later.
But because of that I startedto see that actually LinkedIn as
a platform is quite powerful,you know, and in those days it
(13:38):
was still kind of an early daysin terms of people clocking on
to the fact that you can use itas more than just a job search
site, you know so, and fastforward the process of this.
I did about 12 years in thisbusiness and I got to the point
where at this time I was alsodoing LinkedIn profiles and CVs
for people.
But I was realizing thatthere's more to LinkedIn than
(14:00):
just the profile.
I was like you know what I'msick of talking about CVs now,
because after two years I'vesaid everything I can say, but I
really want to hone in onLinkedIn because I felt I felt
very much led to focus on thisplatform.
You know and again, I mentionedearlier about this inner
vocation thing and I called itlike you know, if you're a
(14:21):
spiritual person, you know youmight recognize it as leading of
the Holy Spirit but I felt verymuch led to kind of focus on
LinkedIn as a platform in termsof this is where the future is,
you know.
So, beginning of 2020, I dabbledall my energy from all the
different platforms to focus onLinkedIn.
I bought every book I could getmy hands on, went to courses,
(14:44):
you know, paid for programs,everything just to kind of deep
dive to and knew some stuffabout it.
But I wanted to know everything, you know, everything there was
to know.
And then I emerged from thatand joined a challenge.
You know somebody was running a30 day challenge on LinkedIn to
kind of help you to post everyday on 30 days.
(15:04):
That was a challenge go fromwherever you are to posting
every single day on LinkedIn for30 days to help start the
journey to visibility.
And I was like OK.
I'm going to do it, you know,and I did it, and it was a
challenge.
But I didn't stop After those 30days.
I didn't stop.
I kept on posting every day onLinkedIn and now I've been
(15:27):
posting every single week downLinkedIn for almost four years
now and I still have a lot moreto say.
But in the process of doingthat, I really kind of started
to teach people what I'velearned about using LinkedIn as
a platform to build your brand,but specifically using the
visibility method, because thisis where my journalism and media
(15:48):
background comes into it interms of.
I knew from working in thatarena that very often it's not
the person who's mostknowledgeable, who's being asked
to contribute to all thesedifferent things, to feature in
the news, to be to give a quoteas a source, whatever it is.
It's the person who is mostvisible, you know.
(16:08):
So the question is can we seeyou?
You know you can be the best atwhat you do.
Do we know about you?
Do other people know about you?
Do the people that need to knowabout you know about you?
Can they see you?
Can they hear you?
Will they remember you?
And if you can't answer yes tothat question, it's probably
because you're not visible andthat's going to limit the
(16:29):
opportunities that you get toadvance your career and your
business.
So that's why I started kind ofreally preaching that message.
My book is called Start beingVisible and the podcast I
recently launched is calledStart being Visible, because my
mantra is for you to start beingvisible and do it today.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
That's amazing and congratulations on the launch of
your podcast.
So and I'll put the link in thedescription as well, for the
podcast and your book and anyother thing actually.
So, coming back to visibility,for someone that says, because
you ask questions now, are youbeing seen?
(17:07):
Can people, if you know, dopeople recognize you, and all
those.
If someone then asks how do Iknow if I'm being visible, how
do you answer that you know andI'm just talking.
For someone that says I see,I'm posting, I'm talking, but I
don't know if I'm being visible.
So how do we, how does one know?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
That's a good question and I do have a.
I have a measure.
So when I do coaching myclients and I work with the
women that I work with sometimesmen too but what I really say
to them is there's three thingsthat's going to come out of your
visibility.
These are ways that you canmeasure that it's working.
Number one is an increase inyour influence.
(20:37):
You know so how are youincreasingly influenced?
The people around you sayingthings to you like oh you know
that post resonated, oh you saidthis the other day, or LinkedIn
or wherever, and it made methink of this or it made me do
this.
That's called influence.
You're affecting the minds, thebehavior of people around you.
The second one is that you'regoing to increase your income.
(21:00):
You know there will beopportunities that come your way
to increase your income.
Other people are inviting youto things like speaking
engagements, or maybe you'regetting a job promotion in your
current role or you're beingheadhunted for a new role.
Or, if you're in business,you're getting more clients
because more people are seeingyou.
And actually also, if you're inbusiness, you can actually get
(21:22):
charged more when you have astronger personal brand, because
now people are not just lookingfor someone who does something
like you.
They're looking to work withyou specifically.
You know so.
Your income will increase as aresult of being visible.
And then the last one is yourimpact.
You know so.
This is about the footsteps youleave in the world.
(21:42):
You know the change that youreally want to make.
How can you make a change, howcan you make an impact in the
world around you for the longerterm without being visible?
You know so, when you startbeing visible and people start
to see you or like, maybe likeand this is it for a lot of us
the particular causes that maybeyou're passionate about, you
(22:03):
know.
To make an impact there, yourvoice needs to be heard, and in
order for your voice to be heard, you need to be visible, you
need to be elevated.
You know this is whycelebrities are so good at like
campaigns and all of that.
People go to celebrities topromote particular campaigns and
to be ambassadors because theyare visible, and when they lend
(22:23):
their voice to a cause, it makesan impact.
You can replicate that samething as you build your own
profile on platforms, atLinkedIn and beyond.
So now, when you speak, whenyou say something, you have a
contribution to make that willimpact the field that you're
passionate about.
So those three things, you willsee your influence increased in
(22:43):
, your income will increase andyour impact will increase when
you start being invisible.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's actually really good.
Thank you for sharing that,because a lot of times, people
on show what's how to, how theyknow if they're being visible.
So, yeah, no, that's, that'sreally great, thank you.
Now I want to move on a bitinto all before I do.
(23:10):
Actually, how do people workwith you?
And I'm bringing this herebecause I want us to go into
something else which I'm goingto explain in a second so, how
do people work with you, how youknow what's the journey like
for them and you can give us anexample or a case study of
someone you've worked with andthe difference that it made?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think what I love most aboutthe the work that I do and and I
actually asked me a questionabout why women that I didn't I
forgot to answer, you know.
So the reason I love workingwith women in particular is that
we tend to have, as women,certain hang ups around really
(23:53):
showing up.
You know that sometimes mendon't have in the same way, so
we get overly concerned aboutwhat other people think of us.
We might not like ourselves,the way we look, the way we
sound.
Sometimes we have what's beingtermed as imposter syndrome, you
know, in terms of not feelinglike you belong in a room or
that you should really be there,that you should have a seat at
(24:16):
the table.
You know all of these areissues that I've encountered in
clients that I've worked with isnow.
So showing up on LinkedIn andbeing visible is more than just
about what should I post today,you know, because before we even
get to the point of what shouldI post today, there are a lot
of barriers that we overcome andI help my clients to overcome,
(24:38):
you know, in terms of theirresistance to be invisible in
the first place.
So we work through thosechallenges and then we get to
the place of okay.
Once we get through thosechallenges, what is the message
that you want to communicate tothe world?
And I know message sounds bigand grand, and by that is simply
, if you have a business,there's a particular message
(24:59):
that you want to communicate toreach your audience.
So, because there's aparticular type of people that
you serve and there's aparticular service that you
provide for them, all of that isyour message and it's about if
you're going to be effective andbe invisible, and it's about
learning how to communicate thatmessage really well, first on
your personal profile and thenon the content that you put out.
(25:22):
So these are the things that Iwork with my women on, and then
also on the business front aswell.
We look at how you structureyour business, because business
coaching is actually a key partof what I do in my work is how
do you structure a businessthat's profitable as well as
visible?
We look at things like gettingclarity around your services and
(25:43):
the pricing strategies, all ofthat.
But to give you an example, oneof my favorite examples of
clients that I've worked with isI won't give her a name, but
there's a lady, let's call herDana.
I give them different nameseach time.
I just give them the same name,but let's call her Dana.
(26:09):
Dana is one of my favoriteclients because when she first
reached out to me, she startedto reach out to me on LinkedIn
via direct messaging.
Now, she didn't comment on myposts, didn't like my posts
publicly, but she would gobehind the scenes and message me
about things.
Now, at first I thought Danawasn't a real person because her
(26:30):
profile picture was a cartoon,cartoon character Now, and I was
like kind of 50-50 aboutengaging with her because I'm
like I don't know, is this oneof these spammers, is this a bot
?
But then she would tune into myLinkedIn live sessions and she
would come and she would messageme and comment.
And then she finally said to meMildred, I'm ready to be
(26:51):
visible.
I've been watching you for awhile.
I'm ready to be visible.
Can we talk?
So we get on a phone call andshe's a real person.
And the first thing I asked herwas like why the cartoon?
Why the cartoon as a profilepicture?
She said that is how much Ihated the idea of showing up.
(27:11):
I didn't even want to use areal picture of myself because I
wanted to stay hidden.
I didn't want people to see me.
But she's like I'm done withthat now.
It's been years.
This has been my life for years.
I'm done with that.
I'm in a place where I havethis business that I'm trying to
grow and I know that I can't doit in hiding anymore.
I need to start the process ofbeing visible.
(27:32):
I need to start coming out onLinkedIn to build my clients.
So she joined one of my programs, one of my group coaching
programs, and over a period of afew months I saw her slowly
transform.
She came out of a shell, shestarted to find her voice.
She started to use her voice.
She started to put out posts onLinkedIn Fast forward.
(27:53):
Now it's been about a year or sosince we finished working
together and I see her onLinkedIn and every time I do, my
heart just glows, because sheregularly puts out content.
She even puts out videos.
She puts out videos on aregular basis.
She's established like acommunity on LinkedIn that's
plugged into the work that shedoes.
She's confidently showing up,she has a voice and her business
(28:18):
is doing well and going fromstrength to strength as a result
, and none of that would havehappened had she not decided to
push past that comfort zone, toreach out and get help and to
actually take the actions andimplement what was required for
her to transform her life.
So it's absolutely thetransformation that comes when
(28:39):
you start being visible.
Honestly, I cannot oversell itbecause it is amazing and it
will do great benefits for yourpersonal and your professional
life when you start that journey.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's so true.
Of course, that is a great casestudy.
Actually, that's a great onebecause there are so many people
who are lurkers no face, novoice so that's a good one.
Anyone out there that is likethat and knows that they do need
to show up, please do something, even if you don't feel like it
(29:11):
.
I think the example you gaveyou got to a point that she was
fed up of lurking.
I would say that honestly.
Even if you are the point thatyou know you need to do it but
you don't feel ready, reach outto Mildred, because that's the
whole point of the coaching shecan help you through that
process.
So thank you for sharing that.
(29:34):
Mildred, I've known you forquite a few years on LinkedIn
actually, we've never met inperson, which we need to do
something about but it wasrecently.
You posted something thatreally got me and I went oh my
gosh, I've got to speak toMildred and I've got to get you
(29:55):
onto the podcast, and that wassomething you went through
recently or a few years ago.
Could you just share that storywith us please, because I think
it's one that people need tohear, and your journey through
it was just incredible and justseeing the power of God come
(30:19):
through just blew my mind, soI'll let you share the story
with us.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Thanks, maureen.
Yes, because I posted aboutthis back in the beginning of.
Where are we now?
October, that's the beginningof September.
So four years ago, in the monthof September in 2019, I went to
well, I was on my way to workand I ended up collapsing
(30:48):
outside of work and woke up inthe hospital.
And the long version of the,the short version of a long
story, is, by the time I woke upin the hospital and they
checked me over, they saidMildred was sorry to tell you,
but we've discovered a braintumor.
So I was diagnosed with a braintumor and prior to that,
(31:10):
actually, I had been living forquite a few months prior to that
day, with incrediblyexcruciating pain at the back of
my head and the back of my neckthat area there.
So I knew something was wrong.
I just didn't know what waswrong, and they did all kinds of
tests prior to that and theydidn't know exactly what the
issue was.
And then, on this day where Ijust collapsed outside of work,
(31:33):
woke up in hospital, they wereable to determine and tell me
that it was a brain tumor.
So what happened was I thenended up having to stay in
hospital for that whole month ofSeptember they operated on the
tumor, took it out surgery.
It was the tumor, it's a.
It's the tumor.
The exact name is called anependymoma.
(31:55):
So it was a, not malignant, itwas a benign.
It was a benign tumor, you know.
But the place that it waslocated was under my stem cells
in the back of my head, so theplace that very close to the
place that controlled themovement.
So what they told me at thetime was this the tumor we could
see is so intertwined with yourstem cells that we have to
(32:19):
carefully operate because if wedon't, we might get rid of the
healthy cells and that's goingto cause problems in how you
move and operate and all of that.
So you know, we needed all thebray is being able to make sure
that the surgeon performed thesurgery to the best of their
ability.
And they did an excellent joband they were able to remove
(32:41):
pretty much all the tumor, youknow.
And so, yeah, there's a smallbit remaining that they wanted
me to do radiotherapy on to getrid of.
And I was like you know whatand and I'm a person of faith
when I was that, listen, youknow, god has brought me this
far, he's gonna take me all theway through.
So I don't.
(33:01):
I believe that whatever's leftis gonna go, because it's so
small and Radio therapy has somuch side effects and by the
time they finish telling me allthe side effects of it and how
I'll basically be Like a Quarterof myself once is done I
thought, no, this is notsomething that I want to go
through again.
(33:22):
So I did the, we did the surgery, and I prayed that that surgery
would take out whatever wasneeded, as much of it as
possible.
And it did, you know, and Ispent a few days after that in
intensive care, getting back Tomyself, recovering, spent some
time in hospital, just kind oflearning how to re-walk again.
You know, I was constantlyblacking out.
(33:44):
It took about three monthsAfter returning home before I
didn't black out anymore Like Iwouldn't.
I'll be talking to you as weare now more in the middle of
conversation and I'll be justI'll disappear for like and come
back like three minutes laterwith right now and because I
would have gone, you know sowould you remember the
(34:05):
conversation you were having?
I would not, you know, I wouldnot remember is literally like
and a lot of it was when I gothome.
It's like my husband would belike.
You know, that's what it goes.
Why are you like come, I'll comeback and be saying this I'm not
what happened, what, what?
What happened?
Like I had no Recollection ofwhat just happened, because if
(34:26):
one minute I was there, nextminute I wasn't, you know.
And then other things like Iwould like, just I couldn't make
it to the toilet on my own, youknow, because again I could
black out and faint, you know.
And I had two young kids at thetime.
My kids, my girls, were threeand four, you know, they're a
bit older now.
But so even things like takingmy little one to nursery Because
(34:47):
my husband took my older oneand then the little one I used
to walk her to nursery aroundthe corner, but after the
operation I couldn't even dothat on my own because it wasn't
safe, because I could black outat any minute, and then doing
that over the puddle I wasn't,you know, it was very dangerous.
So I felt good, I had a lot ofFriends, family support, you
(35:09):
know, a lot of.
Even my neighbors, you know,came round, everybody rally
together and just kind ofsupported not just me but my
family through that wholeSituation, you know.
And then, yeah, today, fouryears later, I think, god, I'm a
hundred percent whole, walkingwas all recovered, driving, all
(35:29):
of those things I took forgranted I wasn't able to do, and
I must.
Like a year of the tumor andthe surgery.
I can do all of that againtoday.
So every year, part of how Imark the occasion is I put a
post out on LinkedIn twice ayear.
I talk about it on theanniversary and then the second
time is when I go in for mycheckup with my surgeon, which I
(35:51):
do once a year now, and hegives me the all-clear.
So those two periods I use itas like a memorial days.
You know, just kind of toreflect and, you know, praise
God for the fact that I'm stillhere and also inspire other
people, because as we talk aboutthis whole being visible and
you see people out there, youjust don't know what people are
(36:13):
going through or have beenthrough behind closed doors.
You know, sometimes it's easyto think, oh, it's easy for that
person to be visible becausetheir life is great and all of
that.
No, it's not, you know.
So, whatever you're goingthrough, I guarantee you that
there is space for you to startbeing visible, to show up with
that, because that is going toencourage Somebody else in your
(36:37):
world when you show up asyourself.
So I'm grateful that I'm heretoday to tell the story.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Absolutely.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere today to tell the story
honestly.
So, in terms of your memory,did it impact any?
Any of your memory, whetherlong-term, short-term, immediate
, during that period or evenlater, was any of your memory
(37:06):
impacted?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
This is the amazing thing not even a single bit of
my memory, because they, theytold me that.
My surgeon told me that.
So the Tuma was connected to mybrain, the stem cells, you know
.
So the part that controlled themovement, as opposed to the
part of my brain that controlledmy thinking.
So my thinking was still likesharp, you know, I was even
(37:28):
running my business, like youknow, because I'm not the kind
of person I'm not trying to laydown a bit all day long, even
when I was at the hospital,right, you know, afterwards I
wanted to keep my mind likegoing.
So when I, as soon as I could, Istarted, you know, trying to do
bits of my business Again,because I could think, I could,
(37:51):
you know, use my brain, but Ijust physically I couldn't do
the things that I wanted to do.
My body would not respond.
I would say walk, and it wouldcollapse my legs before love up.
You know, I'd want to be up andI had fatigue, I was tired all
the time, you know, slept like ababy, you know, except a
painful, very painful babybecause I was in steroids and
stuff.
But yeah, but it was that wholeperiod of time.
It was just a physical thingrather than a mental thing,
(38:12):
which again, I'm really gratefulabout because, yeah, because
that recovery can be a challengeas well.
You know Exactly, yeah, forthose that are watching on audio
, mildred was pointing to herbrainstem area, just at the base
of her brain.
So, yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So, in terms of the radiotherapy, I think it's a
very good idea to do that Justat the base of her brain.
So, yeah, interesting.
So in terms of the radiotherapy, you never had that.
You, that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No, it didn't.
I refused the radiotherapybecause after they told me,
after the operation and etc.
Is when I went in for my firstcheckup with the doctors a few
months after and they gave methat option, they said it is
optional, we recommend that youdo it and also to keep it from
coming back in future.
But honestly, when they wentthrough that whole shopping list
(39:07):
of all the side effects youknow and I would have part, and
also I would have to be checkinginto the hospital on a daily
basis to get injected, and thenI would be lethargic, I can put
on weight, and then all of thisall kinds of just basically
incredibly reduced the qualityof my life, potentially for
something that could neverhappen in terms of it coming
(39:27):
back or growing or gettingbigger.
And I was like at that point Iwas like, you know, even this
faith in Christ is real or it'snot.
You know and you know, and forme it is because that is one of
the things that got me throughthat whole episode of my brain
tumor and that whole even makingsense of even coming out of it
(39:49):
with like a smile on my face isbecause I had Jesus to go
through it with me.
I had my faith, you know, and Ihonestly feel, and at those
times I was like I honestlydon't know how people go through
hard things without having somekind of faith.
And this is not a judgmental way, it's like, because for me it
was such an ankle to get methrough that, because I could
(40:11):
pray, I could talk to God, Icould complain at God, knowing
that there's, he is out there,he's a real person, you know and
knowing that my situation wasnot it might have been out of my
control, but it wasn't out ofhis control, you know knowing
that there's a plan that he hasfor my life, and one of the
things I was so very sure Iwasn't going to die anywhere,
(40:31):
because I'm like, listen, god, Iain't even done half the things
that you put on his side.
So I know that this is not mytime.
So, because this is not my time, this must be a trial and I can
get through it, you know,because your grace is sufficient
for me to get through the trial.
So, and, and indeed it got methrough plenty of times I cried,
(40:53):
plenty of times, I was angry.
Plenty of times I wasfrustrated, so it didn't go
through it all smiling, but Igot through it, you know, and
now I can smile, looking backexactly.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much and I lovethe way you said see, you could
cry.
You know, little times we arefrustrated, but what got you
through was your faith in God.
That was your anchor.
So it's not saying because alot of times people feel as a
Christian, I shouldn't feel.
No, you need to feel it.
Feel the feelings, but with theknowing and where you anchor
(41:29):
yourself, that really makes adifference.
That is really something.
I was actually going to ask yousomething about the feelings
and I might just dig a bit intothat, whether times that you
question God or whether timesthat you felt that self pity and
I know you said God was theanchor.
(41:50):
But if you can just dig deeperinto us, what you did at those
times to get you through wouldbe helpful, helpful, yeah yeah,
it's in terms of did I, did Iever question God?
Speaker 2 (42:04):
so I became a.
I was born a Christian and I'mputting my fingers up for the
audio people speech marks right.
I was born a Christian in termsof.
I grew up in a Christian home,but actually what that meant I
was just a church girl, you know.
So at the age of 19 was when Imade the choice to became a
Christian, because that's when Iunderstood what it meant and I
(42:25):
became a born again Christian at19, now probably a man.
Good, in my journey,relationship with God, we've
been through stuff.
I'm the kind of person, right,if I'm going to do something,
I'm going to do it.
You know, if I'm going tocommit to something, I will
commit the whole way, all in orall out.
That's exactly it all in or allout.
(42:48):
So I remember in the beginningof when I got saved, I'm like,
good, if this Christianity thingis real, then I'm all the way
in and I need to know you and Ineed to know you properly.
I don't want none of this churchbusiness, you know, because I'm
not here for that.
So that from the beginning it'slike God's been taking me on a
journey of actual intimacy wherelike, and that's been growing
(43:10):
over the years.
So I have a tattoo on my armwhich one of the two scriptures
one of them, says sound 34, oneyou know, and it's a, which is I
will bless the Lord at alltimes.
His praise shall continually bein my mouth.
You know, I've had this formany, many years, you know, but
that is like my reminder ofwhatever I go through, the
(43:33):
praise of God is still be in mymouth, cause I've been through
enough with him and come out theother side to not have to
question him again.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
You know.
So that's like why did you havethat tattoo done?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
It's about 12 years ago.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Yeah, so it's about 12 years ago, so there's a lot,
you know.
So that for me is like acovenant that we have, so,
whatever else happens, leteveryone else be wrong, but it
ain't Jesus.
He's not wrong, you know.
So that's one of the things.
So I knew that, like,whatever's going on here, god is
not at fault, because he's onmy side.
(44:09):
He's always been on my side.
So that was the one thing inthe beginning.
And then also, really strangely, there was this song that came
to me that I played again, andagain and again in the hospital.
I don't know why that song, Idon't know why that version is
called no Longer Aslave by ZachWilliams.
(44:29):
Longer Aslave to oh, I love thatsong, yes yeah, yeah, I would
have sung it, but singing is notone of my gifts, not one of my.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
But yeah, I do love singing, even though my voice,
when my sister in particularhears me singing, she goes.
Please can you stop.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
My family, too, exactly the same thing.
My husband sings, I don't, andmy girls are like please.
Just, everyone's always likeplease.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I'm like well, God loves my singing.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
That's all that matters.
Yes, exactly, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Let me just sing that again.
I love it.
I'm no longer a slave to pain.
I think it says To fear.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I think you're going to get to fear.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Yes, I am a child.
Okay, I'll start it again.
I'm no longer a slave to fear.
I am a child of God.
I love that, and so appropriatefor what you are going through,
because in that kind ofsituation, that's when fear
comes, that's when the doubtcomes, that's when the
(45:34):
frustration takes over.
Wow, wow, yes, yes, yes,continue, continue.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Yes, and I think and I didn't go looking for that
song or anything like that Justplayed it one time on YouTube,
and you know when something justhits you and it just hit me and
like I kept like literallythroughout that month of
September I played that songagain and again and again.
Those times I would wake up at2 am and I would be in big pain
(46:01):
and stuff like that, and I'd becalling the nurses to give me
medicine, and then they'll comeand then I'll play that song and
cry myself to sleep again andit's like God was using it to
minister to me, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
He was using it.
To me that's a huge gosh.
Yeah, you know that wassomething.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, so that was incredibly powerful.
And then I was also just beforeall of this happened I'd
started getting into journaling.
You know, I don't know ifyou're familiar with journaling,
but like spiritual journaling,the process of like kind of
writing stuff down and lookingfor God to reply in conversation
(46:40):
.
So I'd started learning aboutthat and practicing it right
before this whole brain tumorthing happened.
So I journaled in hospital.
And it's funny when I first gotinto hospital, because the
first week or so just over aweek and a half they couldn't
operate on me because they hadto get ready and stuff.
So I was walking around like,hey, you know, this is kind of
(47:04):
cool.
And I journaled and I said,okay, god, what is?
And it took they didn't tell mestraight away, by the way, that
it was a brain tumor, because Iwanted to find out exactly all
the details and get it alltogether.
So initially I was like youknow, kind of I know something's
wrong and I don't know what itis, but I'll find out.
And I journaled and I said,okay, god, what's going on here?
You know like, what's thesituation?
(47:24):
How should I approach thethings that's happening?
And I felt very clearly in thejournal I got this response.
It was like Mildred, treat thislike a holiday, like being in a
hotel, rest, you know rest.
So like, just to give youcontext, prior to that, I'm a
mom.
As I said, I'm a mom of twogirls and I'm a wife.
(47:46):
I had a business, I had a job.
Yeah, my life was full on.
So not only that, my two girls,both of them suffered really
badly with eczema.
You know eczema and allergies.
So, and when people hear eczema, often it's like they think, oh
, it's just a bit of dry skin.
No, no, no, no, eczema ishorrible.
(48:07):
I'm talking.
No one can sleep becausethere's scratching, itching,
there's blood, there's wetwrapping, there's like it's a
whole lot.
So that was a whole.
That was like.
So life was full on.
I got my kids with deal ofeczema and both kids.
You know I've got a day job.
You know I've got a businessthat I'm running, all of that
kind of stuff.
(48:28):
And then I get into hospital andI'm there three times a day.
They're feeding me.
You know I'm eating food that Ihaven't cooked, you know.
They would come around and I'mlike what do you want for
breakfast?
Meal dread, what do you wantfor lunch?
What do you want for dinner.
I put in my orders and I waslike, apart from the fact that
there's something seriouslywrong, like this is kind of cool
(48:49):
.
And then God gave me theperspective treat this like
being in a hotel and rest.
So and that's exactly what Idid for like the first almost
two weeks of being in that hotel, of the hotel, that hospital, I
rested, you know Hotel, yeah,exactly A spiritual hotel.
It was a spiritual hotel, youknow, and I rested.
And then after that, when Iwent through the, and then after
(49:12):
the operation and the recoveryand all of that.
So it's just those littlethings of like, like when you
have a real God, like an activeGod and it's not just someone,
that God is a real person and areal being in the midst of your
darkness.
And this is the last thing Isay on that.
I literally felt that sometimesI got so low and in the time I
(49:35):
was there, I had eightnightmares after my operation,
eight nightmares, right, andevery single one of them
involved me dying or beingkilled or of some sort, right.
So I woke up.
I was about yeah, yeah, and itwas an attack, it was a
spiritual attack.
And I woke up from thoseexperiences and I felt very
(49:58):
clearly like my God, this isPsalm 23.
You know, psalm 23, david saysin there, though I walked
through the valley of the shadowof death, I was feeling not
evil, for you are with me, and Iwas like I have literally this
experience has taken me throughthe valley of the shadow of
death, you know, but yet God hasbeen with me through it, you
(50:21):
know.
So I came out of that, like,with a real understanding of
that scripture.
The scripture, the stuff we'rereading in the Bible, these are
not like, they're not just words, you know.
So when you can actually readthe scripture and see your life
in it, it's powerful.
I was like, wow, this is whatI'm going through.
I'm literally close to death.
I'm walking through the valleyof the shadow of death and, in
(50:43):
these dreams as well, theenemies trying to come for me,
you know, but it wasn't my timeto go yet, you know, it was not
my time to go.
So that whole experiencedeepened my relationship with
God in a powerful way, you know,and it also kind of also
(51:03):
deepened my relationships withpeople around me.
I had people, friends and stuffwho haven't prayed for that
years, like, I'm praying for you.
I don't want you to die.
You know so.
It's just amazing how good canuse something like adversity to
bring so many good things out ofit.
You know so, and that's wherethat's what this has been in my
(51:27):
life, you know.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Mildred.
Thank you so much for reallysharing that.
It's just been so encouraging.
There's something you said Iwant to kind of reinforce it's.
You said at that point that youreally need to trust God.
Surely during the period ofmaking the decision about
radiotherapy, you said it'seither you know there's a God or
(51:51):
there's not.
There's not something that Idon't know how you phrase it,
but it's either I believe inthat you're God and you do this,
or not.
And I think that's so powerfulwhen we're going through
challenges, how we've got tocome to the point that we just,
you know, we've been believing.
Like you said, we're bornChristians but it comes to a
(52:12):
point that we've got to say youknow what it's either I believe
in God or I don't.
And if we're going to believe,you're just going to have to
believe 100%.
And it's that thing of okay,it's time for me to let go and
totally let God.
And that's what you did, andI'm just so grateful to God on
(52:33):
your behalf as well, that youcame through.
You know you trusted him and henever fails.
And there's something else yousaid which I just love Shed,
what you just talked about now,and it's that whole thing of
Bible says he makes all thingsbeautiful in his time.
I say he's going to make thingswork out, all things work out
(52:55):
for our good.
So, even though the devil wasdoing his own bit, there are
challenges.
But you know when God, when Godsays yes, no, one can say no,
and when God shuts it down, noone can open.
So if God says, not your time,there's nothing, nothing that
the devil can do, that willchange that.
So it's just really trustingGod Because, to be honest, when
(53:19):
we do trust him and reallyreally trust him, you know God
always comes through.
He does because he's a covenantGod.
Thank you so much for sharingthis with us and you know you're
just so inspiring.
You know I love your faith.
When you wrote what you wrote, Ithink it was the anniversary.
(53:41):
You know that I saw and firsttime I've seen it, because
obviously you've been posting itbefore, but the first time I've
actually seen it I went, wow,this is we need.
People need to hear this, youknow, and, like you said, people
could be.
A lot of times you see peopleon social media and you think,
oh, it's all well for them, butwhat you've just taken us
(54:02):
through was the experience youwent through, even with your
girls, and then the experienceof going through the brain tumor
.
But there's something else andI'm talking too much, but
there's something.
I can just go on and I'm justso excited.
There's something else.
You said those two weeks whenyou went hospital and they were
doing the test and God said rest.
(54:24):
You know we could look at itand go.
Oh yeah, you know, but that'spowerful, because it was that
opportunity to rest thatprobably gave you the ability to
get through the times after thesurgery, to heal quicker, to go
through that that period.
(54:45):
Because if you had gone in andthey had to operate immediately
and you didn't have that time torest, even mentally, you
probably would have struggled.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
Yes, yes, yeah, can I say something on that?
Actually, because you justreminded me of the scripture
where Elijah, like after thebattle of Baal or whatever,
where he defeats all theprophets, the false prophets,
and then Jezebel's like I'mgonna kill you, and he's running
right, and then God finds inline that I'm shattered, like oh
(55:15):
, it's only me left.
No one else is, you know,there's no one else serving you.
God's like listen, rest,refresh, replenish, you know.
And I think one of the thingsGod says to you is like because
the journey ahead you're gonnaneed your strength for the
journey ahead, you know.
So there are some seasons inyour life where God's gonna call
you to rest now because, likeyou said, maureen, you're gonna
need that strength for later.
(55:35):
And I think you're right.
I think if I had just come fromthat, got into hospital and
already it's like you got brainchange, man, we need to operate.
Let's cut you open blood, youknow, get on with it, I think
that would have been a hugeadjustment, you know.
But instead, god and His grace,I had like two weeks to adjust,
you know, and I had an in therebecause I'm in the world where
(55:57):
I see other patients as well.
I were there we got friendlytalking to some of them and
their experiences and all ofthat.
So I really was given like anadjustment period.
So when it came to my time,it's like, okay, I'm ready, I'm
as ready as I can be, you know,and that was powerful.
So, yes, I definitely thinkthere's something in that which
is which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
Thank you so much.
I'm not even going to sayanymore because I think that's
just such a great way to bringthis to an end.
It's just how wonderful andkind and merciful and, you know,
amazing our God is and honestlyso I'm so grateful to God for
you, for your life, for whatyou're doing, and you're just
(56:42):
such an inspiration and, youknow, let's see what God has in
store for Mildred as you keepgoing and I'll just say, please
reach out to Mildred.
You know, in terms of herbusiness or even if you're going
through something that she wentthrough and you just want
someone to talk, to reach out toher, because you know this is a
(57:03):
podcast, there's so much we cantalk about, but she'll be able
to really talk with you andsupport you in, you know,
whichever area.
It is.
Mildred, thank you so much.
So, finally, I always askpeople at the end of the podcast
to just I know we've talkedquite a bit, but there's just
one final word of advice thatyou want to give our listeners.
(57:25):
Go for it, and it could be onanything whether in terms of you
know anything, let me notpreempt.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
Okay.
So I don't know what else tosay about.
Honestly, if you're listeningto this and you are a person of
faith, I want you to know thatyour God is real.
You know, and I want you toknow that actually, adversity
gives you the opportunity to seethat for yourself, that your
God is real and that he willdeliver you out of it all you
(57:56):
know.
So that's that's one thing Iknow.
If you're not a person of faith, I want you to know that God is
real and he loves you, you know, and he wants you to come home,
you know.
So please go check it out.
This is the.
I know it all sounds a woohooand all that kind of weird and
strange and all that, but, as Isaid, I wasn't.
I was born into this, but Iwasn't born into this and I I
(58:18):
learned this and I came to areason and in my own mind, as a
reasonable adult, that thisstuff is not all just weird,
spooky stuff.
There is a God.
He is real, life is impacted,there is, he has a plan for your
life.
There is a creator who lovesyou and the reason you're
watching and listening to thisright now is because he wants
(58:38):
you and he has a purpose for you.
So reach out to.
The name is Christian, that youknow, and even if that's me, I
don't mind.
Come find me, you know so, orMaureen, you know, and then let
them talk you through what itmeans to become a Christian,
because today is your chance toto come home and experience the
best love you can everexperience in your entire life.
Speaker 1 (59:01):
So much the best love that really just sums our God
up, the best love you can everexperience.
I love that.
I love that.
Thank you so much, mildred.
Thank you for really openingyourself up and sharing with us.
Thank you for what you're doing.
You know, in in the businessspace for women, for you know,
(59:22):
visibility visibility is a greatone.
I really wanted us to get tothis.
I didn't want to really pushmore into the visibility, but
please, please, ladies out there, if you're lurking, reach out
to Mildred.
We've got to really rise up aswomen and take our place and,
you know, do what God has calledus to do.
(59:43):
Do that thing, that thatburning passion you have in you,
so that you can help the peoplethat you're meant to be helping
.
Mildred, thank you once againfor coming out to Little Excel
podcast.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Thank you so much for an incredible conversation,
Mollie.
It's been a real pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
We've gotten to the end of another enlightening
episode of Lead to Excel podcast.
Thank you for spending yourvaluable time with us today
diving deep into the intriguingworld of neuroscience and
leadership.
Remember, the journey topersonal and professional
excellence is not a sprint, it'sa marathon, and every step, no
(01:00:25):
matter how small, brings youcloser to your goals.
If you found value in ourconversation today and its
packed insights or questions, Iinvite you to share your
thoughts with us.
Join our community on LinkedIn,facebook or Twitter, where we
continue the conversation andshare valuable resources to help
(01:00:48):
you lead and excel.
You're also welcome to visitour academy at
mindsiteacademycom.
Please also consider leaving usa review on Apple Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you listento your podcast.
Your feedback not only helps usimprove, but it also helps
(01:01:10):
others find our show.
Sharing is caring, after all.
Finally, don't forget to hitthat subscribe button so you
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We have a treasure trove ofinsights, inspiration and expert
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(01:01:30):
a single one.
Thank you once again for tuningin Until next time.
This is Maurin Chihana signingoff, reminding you to keep
exploring, keep learning andkeep leading to excel.
Stay safe, stay motivated andlet's change the world together.
Have a fantastic Thanksgivingholiday.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
You're tuning in to the Lead toExcel podcast, the hub where
science meets leadership andtransformation begins.
I'm your host, maureen Cheyanna, founder of the Mindsight
Academy, a trail ofneuroleadership.
(00:22):
I'm an executive neurocoach,leadership transformer and a
neuroscience enthusiast,dedicated to empowering leaders,
entrepreneurs and change makerslike you.
Every week, we delve into theheart of neuroscience to learn
how you can unleash yourpotential, master your brain,
(00:45):
manage emotions yours and othersalter behaviors and exceed
expectations.
We are here to help you notjust to survive, but thrive and
flourish in the fast-paced world.
We are about to kick off anotherhigh-impact episode today,
(01:06):
diving into a topic that ispowerful, intriguing and has the
potential to shift yourleadership journey.
So, my friends, it's time toput on your thinking caps, grab
your favorite bep and getcomfortable.
It's time to elevate yourleadership, to excel and so,
(01:27):
hire, let's dive right in.
We are back again with anotherepisode of Lead to Excel podcast
, and today I am really lookingforward to actually having this
chat with Mildred Talavi.
Mildred is great and amazingand wonderful, and I'm excited
(01:50):
to have you on this podcasttoday.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Thank you so much, maureen, and you are equally
great and wonderful.
I look forward to ourconversation.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Thanks so much, so Mildred.
I'm just going to dive right inhere and I'll get you to kind
of introduce yourself and tellus what you do, and then we will
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Sure well, at the moment, the hat that I'm wearing
is I am a LinkedIn visibilityand personal branding coach for
a primarily served woman seniorleaders and careers and women in
business.
So essentially, what I do is tohelp women build powerful,
authentic personal brandsthrough being visible on
(02:37):
LinkedIn.
So, yeah, I love it.
It's very rewarding, veryfulfilling work and definitely
wasn't what I thought I'd bedoing when I started my career
many, many years ago, but it iswhat I'm doing now and I love it
.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So it's interesting you said that.
So what was the plan beforewhat this came about?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, the real plan was at some point I wanted to
build a media empire, likeRupert Murdoch because my
background is journalism, so Itrained as a journalist and I
worked in the media for a bitbefore I moved into PR and then
communications and then I alwayshad a business on the side.
(03:21):
So I've been entrepreneurialfor really young, because my
dad's done all kinds of stuff,so it's in my blood.
So at one point the big visionwas like right, I'm going to
build a media empire so, and Istarted kind of going down that
pathway at 19,.
I started a magazine.
I created a magazine while Iwas at university, use my
(03:43):
student loans to do it, and thenwe quickly ran out of money so
we only had like one edition.
But that was the beginning andthe end of the media empire.
So fast forward.
You know, two decades later,social media, LinkedIn wasn't
even around.
Now this is giving away my age,but LinkedIn wasn't even around
(04:04):
when I was doing my career andgoing along the career path.
So to think that I would cometo specialize in the whole idea
of personal branding and doingit by LinkedIn is just.
That wasn't even on the cards.
But it's amazing where yourcareer can take you when you
just follow the leading on theinside.
(04:25):
That I like to call your innervocation, you know.
So, unless it's where it'staking me today, and it's pretty
exciting.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Amazing.
I'm going to come back to thatpivoting and how you came into
it.
But so let's get to really getto know you a bit more.
So if you tell us a bit of yourbackground, so you grew up in
London, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yes, yes, I did.
I grew up in London, but I wasactually born in Nigeria, you
know.
So I came over to England withmy family when I was very little
I'm not that little, I was inprimary school age, so and then,
yeah, but I spent I've spentthe rest of my life here in the
UK, first London and now Kent'swhere I live.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And Nigeria is still home, even though I haven't been
since I came here, which isterrible, but I do To go.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I know I should, I should right, but I do have that
connection, being that it's mycultural background.
But I do call the UK home.
I am one of five children, sonumber four out of five.
So classic middle childsyndrome stuff growing up, you
know, very independent, verykind of left to my own devices,
(05:42):
sort of thing.
So yeah, today I'm a happilymarried wife and a mom of two
daughters and enjoying thisphase of life that I find myself
in at the moment.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
That's so cool.
So you said that your dad wasalways doing things, because
that interests me a lot, becauseI'm always fascinated by how
what we do as adults hassomething to do with what we see
when we are children.
And you know, it always bringsme back to that whole brain
(06:17):
nurturing what the brain sees.
So tell us a bit about that interms of you know what your dad
was doing and the first time youfound yourself running a
business because I know I spoketo you before and it wasn't when
you were 19.
So that would be interesting tohear.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, it's really funny because I didn't know what
business was and I didn't knowthat my dad was an entrepreneur.
There's a difference between anentrepreneur and a business
person kind of thing, and Ilearned this later on Because
sometimes as an entrepreneur youessentially yourself employed
and there's a difference betweenbeing self-employed and owning
a business.
(06:55):
So my dad was an entrepreneur.
He had different ideas hefollowed, but he was
self-employed like pretty muchfor most of his life.
One of the things I remember hehad a photography studio.
You know that he used to backin.
I was, as I said, I was littlewhen we left Nigeria, but I
remember he had a big studio inNigeria where he was doing
(07:16):
photos and all that kind ofstuff before we had to come over
.
So I think for the influence wasmore subconscious than
conscious and also it must be inmy DNA somewhere because, like
my all my, the five siblings,every single one of us have gone
into our own business, exceptfor one, you know.
(07:38):
But even then that sister, shehas doubled in business and then
decided career is for her, youknow.
So every single one of us hasgone into business.
My first business was at theage of 11, you know which I
started, me and my brothers andsisters.
We started a typing business.
You know a typing service, sothis is honestly, you really I'm
(08:00):
really dating myself here.
I do remember typewriters, youknow.
So I remember typewriters.
My dad was and is an author, sohe's written about and
published about, so publishedabout 27 books today, you know.
So there was a time when heused to manually write his books
(08:22):
pen and paper and then heupgraded to like typing his
books on the typewriter and thenwhen computers came in, he
bought a computer and guess whathe was like?
Huh, I've got five children mylittle brother was too young at
the time but they can type thisstuff for me, you know, and they
can do it for free, as freelabor.
(08:44):
So we used to type my dad'smanuscripts for his books and
they were, I'm telling you,maury, they were thick, they
were like this thick and wewould take like turns every week
during the weekends to typebits of it.
And after a while of doing this,we all kind of thought you know
what, if my dad has got thisneed, and now that more people
(09:07):
are getting computers, theremust be other people like my dad
who have got stuff that theywant to type and we can charge
them to do it.
You know, and that was how ourbusiness, which was called Lynx
Typing Service, you know, wasborn.
We created that business mybrother, who's amazing at art
and design, my older brother, hecreated the logo and the flyers
(09:29):
and we went out to the stationnearest at the time I was living
in Leighton East London and wewent to the station and we
started handing out flyers, youknow, and it took yeah, it
wasn't long, it was maybe acouple of weeks and then we got
our first business.
You know, our first person whopaid us was like a professor or
something who was he wanted his,his thesis typed.
(09:49):
And then we had other, mainlyacademics, would pay us to type
their stuff and we're like thisis good business.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
And then, and then school got in the way, because
we had to go back to schoolbecause of due, some oddities
within most of this, and thatwas where the business ended,
from there that's incrediblethough and it just brings me
back to that point that becauseour brains are wired
subconsciously as children andyou see how you guys saw what
(10:20):
your dad did, because for you,for as for young kids at that
age to think, see, we're doingit for our dad, so we might as
well make money from this,that's, that's really, that's
special, that's great.
And when you say typewriters,gosh, I remember those days of
typewriters, you know.
Oh, yeah.
I still have one in my garagesomewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, it's probably worth a lot.
Right now, we still got one,you know.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm gonna go searching, because I think I do
have one.
Yeah, that's, that's good,great memories, right?
Okay, so now, with thatfoundation, you then started
your career.
Why LinkedIn in particular, andwhy women specifically?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Sure.
So, as I said I was, I had themedia career and I had the
business like side by side.
I was side hustling for myentire career and one of the
businesses that I had for a longtime was a CV makeover business
.
So this is where I was writingCVs.
If you have an internationalaudience, raise your maze, you
(11:30):
know, for mid to senior levelprofessionals and I would help
them to get jobs with the CVsthat I would write for them,
because one of the things I'vealways been good at from very
young is writing.
You know writing, editing words, it's that just they came
natural to me and you know I was.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Well, it's a nice dad that has written how many books
that exactly Right.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So it was in the blood.
You know, as one of thoseannoying kids that would like be
correcting people's work, youknow, whether you ask for it or
not, you know I was, I would doit.
So.
So that was always something Iwas good at and that's how I
ended up starting the CVbusiness.
Because actually I was workingfor a magazine at the time and I
(12:13):
was assistant editor and partof my job was to recruit people
into the role and then intodifferent roles, and then I used
to get CVs and cover lettersand most of them were just
rubbish.
You know, I was like why can'tpeople just write a good CV and
cover letter and then anotherlight bulb whenever you see a
problem and you can meet thatneed?
(12:34):
That is called a business.
You know that is a business.
So I was like here's theproblem.
I've got the skills to meetthis need.
And again, my brother designflies for me and that was the.
I was in business and that thattook off.
Gradually took off my CVbusiness.
I ended up running workshops,writing two books around jump
(12:55):
hunting and speaking indifferent places.
But LinkedIn was a place where Iwas fine and at the time I
wasn't intentional aboutbuilding my profile on LinkedIn.
I was just there, maybe, likesome of you listen, I was there
because it's where you needed tobe if you're a professional,
but I would find that peoplewould contact me and approach me
through LinkedIn on a fairlyregular basis and most of my
(13:18):
business came through LinkedInand this was me doing little
activity.
And then I also found thatLinkedIn was also helped with my
career but that's something foranother point, possibly a
little explore later.
But because of that I startedto see that actually LinkedIn as
a platform is quite powerful,you know, and in those days it
(13:38):
was still kind of an early daysin terms of people clocking on
to the fact that you can use itas more than just a job search
site, you know so, and fastforward the process of this.
I did about 12 years in thisbusiness and I got to the point
where at this time I was alsodoing LinkedIn profiles and CVs
for people.
But I was realizing thatthere's more to LinkedIn than
(14:00):
just the profile.
I was like you know what I'msick of talking about CVs now,
because after two years I'vesaid everything I can say, but I
really want to hone in onLinkedIn because I felt I felt
very much led to focus on thisplatform.
You know and again, I mentionedearlier about this inner
vocation thing and I called itlike you know, if you're a
(14:21):
spiritual person, you know youmight recognize it as leading of
the Holy Spirit but I felt verymuch led to kind of focus on
LinkedIn as a platform in termsof this is where the future is,
you know.
So, beginning of 2020, I dabbledall my energy from all the
different platforms to focus onLinkedIn.
I bought every book I could getmy hands on, went to courses,
(14:44):
you know, paid for programs,everything just to kind of deep
dive to and knew some stuffabout it.
But I wanted to know everything, you know, everything there was
to know.
And then I emerged from thatand joined a challenge.
You know somebody was running a30 day challenge on LinkedIn to
kind of help you to post everyday on 30 days.
(15:04):
That was a challenge go fromwherever you are to posting
every single day on LinkedIn for30 days to help start the
journey to visibility.
And I was like OK.
I'm going to do it, you know,and I did it, and it was a
challenge.
But I didn't stop After those 30days.
I didn't stop.
I kept on posting every day onLinkedIn and now I've been
(15:27):
posting every single week downLinkedIn for almost four years
now and I still have a lot moreto say.
But in the process of doingthat, I really kind of started
to teach people what I'velearned about using LinkedIn as
a platform to build your brand,but specifically using the
visibility method, because thisis where my journalism and media
(15:48):
background comes into it interms of.
I knew from working in thatarena that very often it's not
the person who's mostknowledgeable, who's being asked
to contribute to all thesedifferent things, to feature in
the news, to be to give a quoteas a source, whatever it is.
It's the person who is mostvisible, you know.
(16:08):
So the question is can we seeyou?
You know you can be the best atwhat you do.
Do we know about you?
Do other people know about you?
Do the people that need to knowabout you know about you?
Can they see you?
Can they hear you?
Will they remember you?
And if you can't answer yes tothat question, it's probably
because you're not visible andthat's going to limit the
(16:29):
opportunities that you get toadvance your career and your
business.
So that's why I started kind ofreally preaching that message.
My book is called Start beingVisible and the podcast I
recently launched is calledStart being Visible, because my
mantra is for you to start beingvisible and do it today.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
That's amazing and congratulations on the launch of
your podcast.
So and I'll put the link in thedescription as well, for the
podcast and your book and anyother thing actually.
So, coming back to visibility,for someone that says, because
you ask questions now, are youbeing seen?
(17:07):
Can people, if you know, dopeople recognize you, and all
those.
If someone then asks how do Iknow if I'm being visible, how
do you answer that you know andI'm just talking.
For someone that says I see,I'm posting, I'm talking, but I
don't know if I'm being visible.
So how do we, how does one know?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
That's a good question and I do have a.
I have a measure.
So when I do coaching myclients and I work with the
women that I work with sometimesmen too but what I really say
to them is there's three thingsthat's going to come out of your
visibility.
These are ways that you canmeasure that it's working.
Number one is an increase inyour influence.
(20:37):
You know so how are youincreasingly influenced?
The people around you sayingthings to you like oh you know
that post resonated, oh you saidthis the other day, or LinkedIn
or wherever, and it made methink of this or it made me do
this.
That's called influence.
You're affecting the minds, thebehavior of people around you.
The second one is that you'regoing to increase your income.
(21:00):
You know there will beopportunities that come your way
to increase your income.
Other people are inviting youto things like speaking
engagements, or maybe you'regetting a job promotion in your
current role or you're beingheadhunted for a new role.
Or, if you're in business,you're getting more clients
because more people are seeingyou.
And actually also, if you're inbusiness, you can actually get
(21:22):
charged more when you have astronger personal brand, because
now people are not just lookingfor someone who does something
like you.
They're looking to work withyou specifically.
You know so.
Your income will increase as aresult of being visible.
And then the last one is yourimpact.
You know so.
This is about the footsteps youleave in the world.
(21:42):
You know the change that youreally want to make.
How can you make a change, howcan you make an impact in the
world around you for the longerterm without being visible?
You know so, when you startbeing visible and people start
to see you or like, maybe likeand this is it for a lot of us
the particular causes that maybeyou're passionate about, you
(22:03):
know.
To make an impact there, yourvoice needs to be heard, and in
order for your voice to be heard, you need to be visible, you
need to be elevated.
You know this is whycelebrities are so good at like
campaigns and all of that.
People go to celebrities topromote particular campaigns and
to be ambassadors because theyare visible, and when they lend
(22:23):
their voice to a cause, it makesan impact.
You can replicate that samething as you build your own
profile on platforms, atLinkedIn and beyond.
So now, when you speak, whenyou say something, you have a
contribution to make that willimpact the field that you're
passionate about.
So those three things, you willsee your influence increased in
(22:43):
, your income will increase andyour impact will increase when
you start being invisible.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's actually really good.
Thank you for sharing that,because a lot of times, people
on show what's how to, how theyknow if they're being visible.
So, yeah, no, that's, that'sreally great, thank you.
Now I want to move on a bitinto all before I do.
(23:10):
Actually, how do people workwith you?
And I'm bringing this herebecause I want us to go into
something else which I'm goingto explain in a second so, how
do people work with you, how youknow what's the journey like
for them and you can give us anexample or a case study of
someone you've worked with andthe difference that it made?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think what I love most aboutthe the work that I do and and I
actually asked me a questionabout why women that I didn't I
forgot to answer, you know.
So the reason I love workingwith women in particular is that
we tend to have, as women,certain hang ups around really
(23:53):
showing up.
You know that sometimes mendon't have in the same way, so
we get overly concerned aboutwhat other people think of us.
We might not like ourselves,the way we look, the way we
sound.
Sometimes we have what's beingtermed as imposter syndrome, you
know, in terms of not feelinglike you belong in a room or
that you should really be there,that you should have a seat at
(24:16):
the table.
You know all of these areissues that I've encountered in
clients that I've worked with isnow.
So showing up on LinkedIn andbeing visible is more than just
about what should I post today,you know, because before we even
get to the point of what shouldI post today, there are a lot
of barriers that we overcome andI help my clients to overcome,
(24:38):
you know, in terms of theirresistance to be invisible in
the first place.
So we work through thosechallenges and then we get to
the place of okay.
Once we get through thosechallenges, what is the message
that you want to communicate tothe world?
And I know message sounds bigand grand, and by that is simply
, if you have a business,there's a particular message
(24:59):
that you want to communicate toreach your audience.
So, because there's aparticular type of people that
you serve and there's aparticular service that you
provide for them, all of that isyour message and it's about if
you're going to be effective andbe invisible, and it's about
learning how to communicate thatmessage really well, first on
your personal profile and thenon the content that you put out.
(25:22):
So these are the things that Iwork with my women on, and then
also on the business front aswell.
We look at how you structureyour business, because business
coaching is actually a key partof what I do in my work is how
do you structure a businessthat's profitable as well as
visible?
We look at things like gettingclarity around your services and
(25:43):
the pricing strategies, all ofthat.
But to give you an example, oneof my favorite examples of
clients that I've worked with isI won't give her a name, but
there's a lady, let's call herDana.
I give them different nameseach time.
I just give them the same name,but let's call her Dana.
(26:09):
Dana is one of my favoriteclients because when she first
reached out to me, she startedto reach out to me on LinkedIn
via direct messaging.
Now, she didn't comment on myposts, didn't like my posts
publicly, but she would gobehind the scenes and message me
about things.
Now, at first I thought Danawasn't a real person because her
(26:30):
profile picture was a cartoon,cartoon character Now, and I was
like kind of 50-50 aboutengaging with her because I'm
like I don't know, is this oneof these spammers, is this a bot
?
But then she would tune into myLinkedIn live sessions and she
would come and she would messageme and comment.
And then she finally said to meMildred, I'm ready to be
(26:51):
visible.
I've been watching you for awhile.
I'm ready to be visible.
Can we talk?
So we get on a phone call andshe's a real person.
And the first thing I asked herwas like why the cartoon?
Why the cartoon as a profilepicture?
She said that is how much Ihated the idea of showing up.
(27:11):
I didn't even want to use areal picture of myself because I
wanted to stay hidden.
I didn't want people to see me.
But she's like I'm done withthat now.
It's been years.
This has been my life for years.
I'm done with that.
I'm in a place where I havethis business that I'm trying to
grow and I know that I can't doit in hiding anymore.
I need to start the process ofbeing visible.
(27:32):
I need to start coming out onLinkedIn to build my clients.
So she joined one of my programs, one of my group coaching
programs, and over a period of afew months I saw her slowly
transform.
She came out of a shell, shestarted to find her voice.
She started to use her voice.
She started to put out posts onLinkedIn Fast forward.
(27:53):
Now it's been about a year or sosince we finished working
together and I see her onLinkedIn and every time I do, my
heart just glows, because sheregularly puts out content.
She even puts out videos.
She puts out videos on aregular basis.
She's established like acommunity on LinkedIn that's
plugged into the work that shedoes.
She's confidently showing up,she has a voice and her business
(28:18):
is doing well and going fromstrength to strength as a result
, and none of that would havehappened had she not decided to
push past that comfort zone, toreach out and get help and to
actually take the actions andimplement what was required for
her to transform her life.
So it's absolutely thetransformation that comes when
(28:39):
you start being visible.
Honestly, I cannot oversell itbecause it is amazing and it
will do great benefits for yourpersonal and your professional
life when you start that journey.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's so true.
Of course, that is a great casestudy.
Actually, that's a great onebecause there are so many people
who are lurkers no face, novoice so that's a good one.
Anyone out there that is likethat and knows that they do need
to show up, please do something, even if you don't feel like it
(29:11):
.
I think the example you gaveyou got to a point that she was
fed up of lurking.
I would say that honestly.
Even if you are the point thatyou know you need to do it but
you don't feel ready, reach outto Mildred, because that's the
whole point of the coaching shecan help you through that
process.
So thank you for sharing that.
(29:34):
Mildred, I've known you forquite a few years on LinkedIn
actually, we've never met inperson, which we need to do
something about but it wasrecently.
You posted something thatreally got me and I went oh my
gosh, I've got to speak toMildred and I've got to get you
(29:55):
onto the podcast, and that wassomething you went through
recently or a few years ago.
Could you just share that storywith us please, because I think
it's one that people need tohear, and your journey through
it was just incredible and justseeing the power of God come
(30:19):
through just blew my mind, soI'll let you share the story
with us.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Thanks, maureen.
Yes, because I posted aboutthis back in the beginning of.
Where are we now?
October, that's the beginningof September.
So four years ago, in the monthof September in 2019, I went to
well, I was on my way to workand I ended up collapsing
(30:48):
outside of work and woke up inthe hospital.
And the long version of the,the short version of a long
story, is, by the time I woke upin the hospital and they
checked me over, they saidMildred was sorry to tell you,
but we've discovered a braintumor.
So I was diagnosed with a braintumor and prior to that,
(31:10):
actually, I had been living forquite a few months prior to that
day, with incrediblyexcruciating pain at the back of
my head and the back of my neckthat area there.
So I knew something was wrong.
I just didn't know what waswrong, and they did all kinds of
tests prior to that and theydidn't know exactly what the
issue was.
And then, on this day where Ijust collapsed outside of work,
(31:33):
woke up in hospital, they wereable to determine and tell me
that it was a brain tumor.
So what happened was I thenended up having to stay in
hospital for that whole month ofSeptember they operated on the
tumor, took it out surgery.
It was the tumor, it's a.
It's the tumor.
The exact name is called anependymoma.
(31:55):
So it was a, not malignant, itwas a benign.
It was a benign tumor, you know.
But the place that it waslocated was under my stem cells
in the back of my head, so theplace that very close to the
place that controlled themovement.
So what they told me at thetime was this the tumor we could
see is so intertwined with yourstem cells that we have to
(32:19):
carefully operate because if wedon't, we might get rid of the
healthy cells and that's goingto cause problems in how you
move and operate and all of that.
So you know, we needed all thebray is being able to make sure
that the surgeon performed thesurgery to the best of their
ability.
And they did an excellent joband they were able to remove
(32:41):
pretty much all the tumor, youknow.
And so, yeah, there's a smallbit remaining that they wanted
me to do radiotherapy on to getrid of.
And I was like you know whatand and I'm a person of faith
when I was that, listen, youknow, god has brought me this
far, he's gonna take me all theway through.
So I don't.
(33:01):
I believe that whatever's leftis gonna go, because it's so
small and Radio therapy has somuch side effects and by the
time they finish telling me allthe side effects of it and how
I'll basically be Like a Quarterof myself once is done I
thought, no, this is notsomething that I want to go
through again.
(33:22):
So I did the, we did the surgery, and I prayed that that surgery
would take out whatever wasneeded, as much of it as
possible.
And it did, you know, and Ispent a few days after that in
intensive care, getting back Tomyself, recovering, spent some
time in hospital, just kind oflearning how to re-walk again.
You know, I was constantlyblacking out.
(33:44):
It took about three monthsAfter returning home before I
didn't black out anymore Like Iwouldn't.
I'll be talking to you as weare now more in the middle of
conversation and I'll be justI'll disappear for like and come
back like three minutes laterwith right now and because I
would have gone, you know sowould you remember the
(34:05):
conversation you were having?
I would not, you know, I wouldnot remember is literally like
and a lot of it was when I gothome.
It's like my husband would belike.
You know, that's what it goes.
Why are you like come, I'll comeback and be saying this I'm not
what happened, what, what?
What happened?
Like I had no Recollection ofwhat just happened, because if
(34:26):
one minute I was there, nextminute I wasn't, you know.
And then other things like Iwould like, just I couldn't make
it to the toilet on my own, youknow, because again I could
black out and faint, you know.
And I had two young kids at thetime.
My kids, my girls, were threeand four, you know, they're a
bit older now.
But so even things like takingmy little one to nursery Because
(34:47):
my husband took my older oneand then the little one I used
to walk her to nursery aroundthe corner, but after the
operation I couldn't even dothat on my own because it wasn't
safe, because I could black outat any minute, and then doing
that over the puddle I wasn't,you know, it was very dangerous.
So I felt good, I had a lot ofFriends, family support, you
(35:09):
know, a lot of.
Even my neighbors, you know,came round, everybody rally
together and just kind ofsupported not just me but my
family through that wholeSituation, you know.
And then, yeah, today, fouryears later, I think, god, I'm a
hundred percent whole, walkingwas all recovered, driving, all
(35:29):
of those things I took forgranted I wasn't able to do, and
I must.
Like a year of the tumor andthe surgery.
I can do all of that againtoday.
So every year, part of how Imark the occasion is I put a
post out on LinkedIn twice ayear.
I talk about it on theanniversary and then the second
time is when I go in for mycheckup with my surgeon, which I
(35:51):
do once a year now, and hegives me the all-clear.
So those two periods I use itas like a memorial days.
You know, just kind of toreflect and, you know, praise
God for the fact that I'm stillhere and also inspire other
people, because as we talk aboutthis whole being visible and
you see people out there, youjust don't know what people are
(36:13):
going through or have beenthrough behind closed doors.
You know, sometimes it's easyto think, oh, it's easy for that
person to be visible becausetheir life is great and all of
that.
No, it's not, you know.
So, whatever you're goingthrough, I guarantee you that
there is space for you to startbeing visible, to show up with
that, because that is going toencourage Somebody else in your
(36:37):
world when you show up asyourself.
So I'm grateful that I'm heretoday to tell the story.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Absolutely.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere today to tell the story
honestly.
So, in terms of your memory,did it impact any?
Any of your memory, whetherlong-term, short-term, immediate
, during that period or evenlater, was any of your memory
(37:06):
impacted?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
This is the amazing thing not even a single bit of
my memory, because they, theytold me that.
My surgeon told me that.
So the Tuma was connected to mybrain, the stem cells, you know
.
So the part that controlled themovement, as opposed to the
part of my brain that controlledmy thinking.
So my thinking was still likesharp, you know, I was even
(37:28):
running my business, like youknow, because I'm not the kind
of person I'm not trying to laydown a bit all day long, even
when I was at the hospital,right, you know, afterwards I
wanted to keep my mind likegoing.
So when I, as soon as I could, Istarted, you know, trying to do
bits of my business Again,because I could think, I could,
(37:51):
you know, use my brain, but Ijust physically I couldn't do
the things that I wanted to do.
My body would not respond.
I would say walk, and it wouldcollapse my legs before love up.
You know, I'd want to be up andI had fatigue, I was tired all
the time, you know, slept like ababy, you know, except a
painful, very painful babybecause I was in steroids and
stuff.
But yeah, but it was that wholeperiod of time.
It was just a physical thingrather than a mental thing,
(38:12):
which again, I'm really gratefulabout because, yeah, because
that recovery can be a challengeas well.
You know Exactly, yeah, forthose that are watching on audio
, mildred was pointing to herbrainstem area, just at the base
of her brain.
So, yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
So, in terms of the radiotherapy, I think it's a
very good idea to do that Justat the base of her brain.
So, yeah, interesting.
So in terms of the radiotherapy, you never had that.
You, that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No, it didn't.
I refused the radiotherapybecause after they told me,
after the operation and etc.
Is when I went in for my firstcheckup with the doctors a few
months after and they gave methat option, they said it is
optional, we recommend that youdo it and also to keep it from
coming back in future.
But honestly, when they wentthrough that whole shopping list
(39:07):
of all the side effects youknow and I would have part, and
also I would have to be checkinginto the hospital on a daily
basis to get injected, and thenI would be lethargic, I can put
on weight, and then all of thisall kinds of just basically
incredibly reduced the qualityof my life, potentially for
something that could neverhappen in terms of it coming
(39:27):
back or growing or gettingbigger.
And I was like at that point Iwas like, you know, even this
faith in Christ is real or it'snot.
You know and you know, and forme it is because that is one of
the things that got me throughthat whole episode of my brain
tumor and that whole even makingsense of even coming out of it
(39:49):
with like a smile on my face isbecause I had Jesus to go
through it with me.
I had my faith, you know, and Ihonestly feel, and at those
times I was like I honestlydon't know how people go through
hard things without having somekind of faith.
And this is not a judgmental way, it's like, because for me it
was such an ankle to get methrough that, because I could
(40:11):
pray, I could talk to God, Icould complain at God, knowing
that there's, he is out there,he's a real person, you know and
knowing that my situation wasnot it might have been out of my
control, but it wasn't out ofhis control, you know knowing
that there's a plan that he hasfor my life, and one of the
things I was so very sure Iwasn't going to die anywhere,
(40:31):
because I'm like, listen, god, Iain't even done half the things
that you put on his side.
So I know that this is not mytime.
So, because this is not my time, this must be a trial and I can
get through it, you know,because your grace is sufficient
for me to get through the trial.
So, and, and indeed it got methrough plenty of times I cried,
(40:53):
plenty of times, I was angry.
Plenty of times I wasfrustrated, so it didn't go
through it all smiling, but Igot through it, you know, and
now I can smile, looking backexactly.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much and I lovethe way you said see, you could
cry.
You know, little times we arefrustrated, but what got you
through was your faith in God.
That was your anchor.
So it's not saying because alot of times people feel as a
Christian, I shouldn't feel.
No, you need to feel it.
Feel the feelings, but with theknowing and where you anchor
(41:29):
yourself, that really makes adifference.
That is really something.
I was actually going to ask yousomething about the feelings
and I might just dig a bit intothat, whether times that you
question God or whether timesthat you felt that self pity and
I know you said God was theanchor.
(41:50):
But if you can just dig deeperinto us, what you did at those
times to get you through wouldbe helpful, helpful, yeah yeah,
it's in terms of did I, did Iever question God?
Speaker 2 (42:04):
so I became a.
I was born a Christian and I'mputting my fingers up for the
audio people speech marks right.
I was born a Christian in termsof.
I grew up in a Christian home,but actually what that meant I
was just a church girl, you know.
So at the age of 19 was when Imade the choice to became a
Christian, because that's when Iunderstood what it meant and I
(42:25):
became a born again Christian at19, now probably a man.
Good, in my journey,relationship with God, we've
been through stuff.
I'm the kind of person, right,if I'm going to do something,
I'm going to do it.
You know, if I'm going tocommit to something, I will
commit the whole way, all in orall out.
That's exactly it all in or allout.
(42:48):
So I remember in the beginningof when I got saved, I'm like,
good, if this Christianity thingis real, then I'm all the way
in and I need to know you and Ineed to know you properly.
I don't want none of this churchbusiness, you know, because I'm
not here for that.
So that from the beginning it'slike God's been taking me on a
journey of actual intimacy wherelike, and that's been growing
(43:10):
over the years.
So I have a tattoo on my armwhich one of the two scriptures
one of them, says sound 34, oneyou know, and it's a, which is I
will bless the Lord at alltimes.
His praise shall continually bein my mouth.
You know, I've had this formany, many years, you know, but
that is like my reminder ofwhatever I go through, the
(43:33):
praise of God is still be in mymouth, cause I've been through
enough with him and come out theother side to not have to
question him again.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
You know.
So that's like why did you havethat tattoo done?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
It's about 12 years ago.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Yeah, so it's about 12 years ago, so there's a lot,
you know.
So that for me is like acovenant that we have, so,
whatever else happens, leteveryone else be wrong, but it
ain't Jesus.
He's not wrong, you know.
So that's one of the things.
So I knew that, like,whatever's going on here, god is
not at fault, because he's onmy side.
(44:09):
He's always been on my side.
So that was the one thing inthe beginning.
And then also, really strangely, there was this song that came
to me that I played again, andagain and again in the hospital.
I don't know why that song, Idon't know why that version is
called no Longer Aslave by ZachWilliams.
(44:29):
Longer Aslave to oh, I love thatsong, yes yeah, yeah, I would
have sung it, but singing is notone of my gifts, not one of my.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
But yeah, I do love singing, even though my voice,
when my sister in particularhears me singing, she goes.
Please can you stop.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
My family, too, exactly the same thing.
My husband sings, I don't, andmy girls are like please.
Just, everyone's always likeplease.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I'm like well, God loves my singing.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
That's all that matters.
Yes, exactly, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Let me just sing that again.
I love it.
I'm no longer a slave to pain.
I think it says To fear.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I think you're going to get to fear.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Yes, I am a child.
Okay, I'll start it again.
I'm no longer a slave to fear.
I am a child of God.
I love that, and so appropriatefor what you are going through,
because in that kind ofsituation, that's when fear
comes, that's when the doubtcomes, that's when the
(45:34):
frustration takes over.
Wow, wow, yes, yes, yes,continue, continue.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Yes, and I think and I didn't go looking for that
song or anything like that Justplayed it one time on YouTube,
and you know when something justhits you and it just hit me and
like I kept like literallythroughout that month of
September I played that songagain and again and again.
Those times I would wake up at2 am and I would be in big pain
(46:01):
and stuff like that, and I'd becalling the nurses to give me
medicine, and then they'll comeand then I'll play that song and
cry myself to sleep again andit's like God was using it to
minister to me, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
He was using it.
To me that's a huge gosh.
Yeah, you know that wassomething.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, so that was incredibly powerful.
And then I was also just beforeall of this happened I'd
started getting into journaling.
You know, I don't know ifyou're familiar with journaling,
but like spiritual journaling,the process of like kind of
writing stuff down and lookingfor God to reply in conversation
(46:40):
.
So I'd started learning aboutthat and practicing it right
before this whole brain tumorthing happened.
So I journaled in hospital.
And it's funny when I first gotinto hospital, because the
first week or so just over aweek and a half they couldn't
operate on me because they hadto get ready and stuff.
So I was walking around like,hey, you know, this is kind of
(47:04):
cool.
And I journaled and I said,okay, god, what is?
And it took they didn't tell mestraight away, by the way, that
it was a brain tumor, because Iwanted to find out exactly all
the details and get it alltogether.
So initially I was like youknow, kind of I know something's
wrong and I don't know what itis, but I'll find out.
And I journaled and I said,okay, god, what's going on here?
You know like, what's thesituation?
(47:24):
How should I approach thethings that's happening?
And I felt very clearly in thejournal I got this response.
It was like Mildred, treat thislike a holiday, like being in a
hotel, rest, you know rest.
So like, just to give youcontext, prior to that, I'm a
mom.
As I said, I'm a mom of twogirls and I'm a wife.
(47:46):
I had a business, I had a job.
Yeah, my life was full on.
So not only that, my two girls,both of them suffered really
badly with eczema.
You know eczema and allergies.
So, and when people hear eczema, often it's like they think, oh
, it's just a bit of dry skin.
No, no, no, no, eczema ishorrible.
(48:07):
I'm talking.
No one can sleep becausethere's scratching, itching,
there's blood, there's wetwrapping, there's like it's a
whole lot.
So that was a whole.
That was like.
So life was full on.
I got my kids with deal ofeczema and both kids.
You know I've got a day job.
You know I've got a businessthat I'm running, all of that
kind of stuff.
(48:28):
And then I get into hospital andI'm there three times a day.
They're feeding me.
You know I'm eating food that Ihaven't cooked, you know.
They would come around and I'mlike what do you want for
breakfast?
Meal dread, what do you wantfor lunch?
What do you want for dinner.
I put in my orders and I waslike, apart from the fact that
there's something seriouslywrong, like this is kind of cool
(48:49):
.
And then God gave me theperspective treat this like
being in a hotel and rest.
So and that's exactly what Idid for like the first almost
two weeks of being in that hotel, of the hotel, that hospital, I
rested, you know Hotel, yeah,exactly A spiritual hotel.
It was a spiritual hotel, youknow, and I rested.
And then after that, when Iwent through the, and then after
(49:12):
the operation and the recoveryand all of that.
So it's just those littlethings of like, like when you
have a real God, like an activeGod and it's not just someone,
that God is a real person and areal being in the midst of your
darkness.
And this is the last thing Isay on that.
I literally felt that sometimesI got so low and in the time I
(49:35):
was there, I had eightnightmares after my operation,
eight nightmares, right, andevery single one of them
involved me dying or beingkilled or of some sort, right.
So I woke up.
I was about yeah, yeah, and itwas an attack, it was a
spiritual attack.
And I woke up from thoseexperiences and I felt very
(49:58):
clearly like my God, this isPsalm 23.
You know, psalm 23, david saysin there, though I walked
through the valley of the shadowof death, I was feeling not
evil, for you are with me, and Iwas like I have literally this
experience has taken me throughthe valley of the shadow of
death, you know, but yet God hasbeen with me through it, you
(50:21):
know.
So I came out of that, like,with a real understanding of
that scripture.
The scripture, the stuff we'rereading in the Bible, these are
not like, they're not just words, you know.
So when you can actually readthe scripture and see your life
in it, it's powerful.
I was like, wow, this is whatI'm going through.
I'm literally close to death.
I'm walking through the valleyof the shadow of death and, in
(50:43):
these dreams as well, theenemies trying to come for me,
you know, but it wasn't my timeto go yet, you know, it was not
my time to go.
So that whole experiencedeepened my relationship with
God in a powerful way, you know,and it also kind of also
(51:03):
deepened my relationships withpeople around me.
I had people, friends and stuffwho haven't prayed for that
years, like, I'm praying for you.
I don't want you to die.
You know so.
It's just amazing how good canuse something like adversity to
bring so many good things out ofit.
You know so, and that's wherethat's what this has been in my
(51:27):
life, you know.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Mildred.
Thank you so much for reallysharing that.
It's just been so encouraging.
There's something you said Iwant to kind of reinforce it's.
You said at that point that youreally need to trust God.
Surely during the period ofmaking the decision about
radiotherapy, you said it'seither you know there's a God or
(51:51):
there's not.
There's not something that Idon't know how you phrase it,
but it's either I believe inthat you're God and you do this,
or not.
And I think that's so powerfulwhen we're going through
challenges, how we've got tocome to the point that we just,
you know, we've been believing.
Like you said, we're bornChristians but it comes to a
(52:12):
point that we've got to say youknow what it's either I believe
in God or I don't.
And if we're going to believe,you're just going to have to
believe 100%.
And it's that thing of okay,it's time for me to let go and
totally let God.
And that's what you did, andI'm just so grateful to God on
(52:33):
your behalf as well, that youcame through.
You know you trusted him and henever fails.
And there's something else yousaid which I just love Shed,
what you just talked about now,and it's that whole thing of
Bible says he makes all thingsbeautiful in his time.
I say he's going to make thingswork out, all things work out
(52:55):
for our good.
So, even though the devil wasdoing his own bit, there are
challenges.
But you know when God, when Godsays yes, no, one can say no,
and when God shuts it down, noone can open.
So if God says, not your time,there's nothing, nothing that
the devil can do, that willchange that.
So it's just really trustingGod Because, to be honest, when
(53:19):
we do trust him and reallyreally trust him, you know God
always comes through.
He does because he's a covenantGod.
Thank you so much for sharingthis with us and you know you're
just so inspiring.
You know I love your faith.
When you wrote what you wrote, Ithink it was the anniversary.
(53:41):
You know that I saw and firsttime I've seen it, because
obviously you've been posting itbefore, but the first time I've
actually seen it I went, wow,this is we need.
People need to hear this, youknow, and, like you said, people
could be.
A lot of times you see peopleon social media and you think,
oh, it's all well for them, butwhat you've just taken us
(54:02):
through was the experience youwent through, even with your
girls, and then the experienceof going through the brain tumor
.
But there's something else andI'm talking too much, but
there's something.
I can just go on and I'm justso excited.
There's something else.
You said those two weeks whenyou went hospital and they were
doing the test and God said rest.
(54:24):
You know we could look at itand go.
Oh yeah, you know, but that'spowerful, because it was that
opportunity to rest thatprobably gave you the ability to
get through the times after thesurgery, to heal quicker, to go
through that that period.
(54:45):
Because if you had gone in andthey had to operate immediately
and you didn't have that time torest, even mentally, you
probably would have struggled.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
Yes, yes, yeah, can I say something on that?
Actually, because you justreminded me of the scripture
where Elijah, like after thebattle of Baal or whatever,
where he defeats all theprophets, the false prophets,
and then Jezebel's like I'mgonna kill you, and he's running
right, and then God finds inline that I'm shattered, like oh
(55:15):
, it's only me left.
No one else is, you know,there's no one else serving you.
God's like listen, rest,refresh, replenish, you know.
And I think one of the thingsGod says to you is like because
the journey ahead you're gonnaneed your strength for the
journey ahead, you know.
So there are some seasons inyour life where God's gonna call
you to rest now because, likeyou said, maureen, you're gonna
need that strength for later.
(55:35):
And I think you're right.
I think if I had just come fromthat, got into hospital and
already it's like you got brainchange, man, we need to operate.
Let's cut you open blood, youknow, get on with it, I think
that would have been a hugeadjustment, you know.
But instead, god and His grace,I had like two weeks to adjust,
you know, and I had an in therebecause I'm in the world where
(55:57):
I see other patients as well.
I were there we got friendlytalking to some of them and
their experiences and all ofthat.
So I really was given like anadjustment period.
So when it came to my time,it's like, okay, I'm ready, I'm
as ready as I can be, you know,and that was powerful.
So, yes, I definitely thinkthere's something in that which
is which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
Thank you so much.
I'm not even going to sayanymore because I think that's
just such a great way to bringthis to an end.
It's just how wonderful andkind and merciful and, you know,
amazing our God is and honestlyso I'm so grateful to God for
you, for your life, for whatyou're doing, and you're just
(56:42):
such an inspiration and, youknow, let's see what God has in
store for Mildred as you keepgoing and I'll just say, please
reach out to Mildred.
You know, in terms of herbusiness or even if you're going
through something that she wentthrough and you just want
someone to talk, to reach out toher, because you know this is a
(57:03):
podcast, there's so much we cantalk about, but she'll be able
to really talk with you andsupport you in, you know,
whichever area.
It is.
Mildred, thank you so much.
So, finally, I always askpeople at the end of the podcast
to just I know we've talkedquite a bit, but there's just
one final word of advice thatyou want to give our listeners.
(57:25):
Go for it, and it could be onanything whether in terms of you
know anything, let me notpreempt.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
Okay.
So I don't know what else tosay about.
Honestly, if you're listeningto this and you are a person of
faith, I want you to know thatyour God is real.
You know, and I want you toknow that actually, adversity
gives you the opportunity to seethat for yourself, that your
God is real and that he willdeliver you out of it all you
(57:56):
know.
So that's that's one thing Iknow.
If you're not a person of faith, I want you to know that God is
real and he loves you, you know, and he wants you to come home,
you know.
So please go check it out.
This is the.
I know it all sounds a woohooand all that kind of weird and
strange and all that, but, as Isaid, I wasn't.
I was born into this, but Iwasn't born into this and I I
(58:18):
learned this and I came to areason and in my own mind, as a
reasonable adult, that thisstuff is not all just weird,
spooky stuff.
There is a God.
He is real, life is impacted,there is, he has a plan for your
life.
There is a creator who lovesyou and the reason you're
watching and listening to thisright now is because he wants
(58:38):
you and he has a purpose for you.
So reach out to.
The name is Christian, that youknow, and even if that's me, I
don't mind.
Come find me, you know so, orMaureen, you know, and then let
them talk you through what itmeans to become a Christian,
because today is your chance toto come home and experience the
best love you can everexperience in your entire life.
Speaker 1 (59:01):
So much the best love that really just sums our God
up, the best love you can everexperience.
I love that.
I love that.
Thank you so much, mildred.
Thank you for really openingyourself up and sharing with us.
Thank you for what you're doing.
You know, in in the businessspace for women, for you know,
(59:22):
visibility visibility is a greatone.
I really wanted us to get tothis.
I didn't want to really pushmore into the visibility, but
please, please, ladies out there, if you're lurking, reach out
to Mildred.
We've got to really rise up aswomen and take our place and,
you know, do what God has calledus to do.
(59:43):
Do that thing, that thatburning passion you have in you,
so that you can help the peoplethat you're meant to be helping
.
Mildred, thank you once againfor coming out to Little Excel
podcast.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Thank you so much for an incredible conversation,
Mollie.
It's been a real pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
We've gotten to the end of another enlightening
episode of Lead to Excel podcast.
Thank you for spending yourvaluable time with us today
diving deep into the intriguingworld of neuroscience and
leadership.
Remember, the journey topersonal and professional
excellence is not a sprint, it'sa marathon, and every step, no
(01:00:25):
matter how small, brings youcloser to your goals.
If you found value in ourconversation today and its
packed insights or questions, Iinvite you to share your
thoughts with us.
Join our community on LinkedIn,facebook or Twitter, where we
continue the conversation andshare valuable resources to help
(01:00:48):
you lead and excel.
You're also welcome to visitour academy at
mindsiteacademycom.
Please also consider leaving usa review on Apple Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you listento your podcast.
Your feedback not only helps usimprove, but it also helps
(01:01:10):
others find our show.
Sharing is caring, after all.
Finally, don't forget to hitthat subscribe button so you
never miss an episode.
We have a treasure trove ofinsights, inspiration and expert
advice coming your way and,trust me, you won't want to miss
(01:01:30):
a single one.
Thank you once again for tuningin Until next time.
This is Maurin Chihana signingoff, reminding you to keep
exploring, keep learning andkeep leading to excel.
Stay safe, stay motivated andlet's change the world together.
Have a fantastic Thanksgivingholiday.
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