Turning Stumbling Blocks to Stepping Stones: The Inspiring Journey of Dr. Blessing Enakimio - E93 - Lead To Excel Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
You're tuning in to the Lead toExcel podcast, the hub where
science meets leadership andtransformation begins.
I'm your host, maureen Cheyanna, founder of the Mindsight
Academy, a trailblazer in theworld of neuro-leadership.

(00:22):
I'm an executive neuro-coach,leadership transformer and a
neuroscience enthusiast,dedicated to empowering leaders,
entrepreneurs and changemakerslike you.
Every week, we delve into theheart of neuroscience to
discover how you can unleashyour potential, master your

(00:44):
brain, manage emotions yours andothers alter behaviors and
exceed expectations.
We are here to help you notjust to survive, but thrive and
flourish in the fast-paced worldaround us.
We are about to kick off anotherhigh-impact episode today,

(01:06):
diving into a topic that ispowerful, intriguing and has the
potential to shift yourleadership journey.
So, my friends, it's time toput on your thinking caps, grab
your favorite beverage and getcomfortable.
It's time to elevate yourleadership, to excel and so,

(01:27):
hire, let's dive right in.
Okay, today's episode is aninteresting one because this
lady I have known forever andwe've never done a podcast
together, so we will see wherethis leads.

(01:48):
But, listeners, be prepared forsome interesting brain rewiring
, anything you want to think of.
But listen to this podcastbecause this lady is amazing and
her name is Blessing Enakimyo,dr Blessing, enakimyo, welcome

(02:09):
to Lead to Excel podcast.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Thank you very much.
I'm so pleased to be here.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I am really pleased to be here as well.
So I'm going to start by sayingactually Blessing, introduce
yourself.
I think that would be a goodstart.
Who is Blessing?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
It is a very, very long question to answer.
Okay, so I'm Dr BlessingEnakimyo, the CEO of Black
Global.
Amongst many other things, Irun a few companies, but I like
to define myself as amulti-potentialist and
multi-what Multi-potentialite.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Oh, I love that Multi-potentialite, I love that.
Yeah, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (02:55):
before you go on, Okay, it means that I am
multiple in my potential and I'mnot who you define.
I always like to say I'mforever becoming more.
So the best word I found wasmulti-potentialite.
So I keep that close to myheart so that I don't restrict
myself in being who I am, butI'm forever becoming more.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
I love that.
Thank you Okay.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
So I'm an event designer and I am also an
international businesswoman andI facilitate international trade
.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Wow, thanks for that Blessing and that new world,
that new world, that new world,it's great.
Now I want us to kind ofelaborate a bit on blessing as a
person.
So just tell us a bit about youin terms of where did you grow

(03:53):
up and where are you now, whereyou live now.
So just give us a bit ofbackground.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Okay, so I was born in London in United Kingdom.
I was here in my first years, Ithink up to the age of four,
and then my parents relocated toNigeria so I went with them.
So I did my education inNigeria.
I came back to England in my20s I think it must have been

(04:23):
years.
I came back for my universitystudies in England.
I lived in London, but now I amin Kent.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Thank you so much.
So, in terms of your background, what did you study, what was
your degree in and how?
Yeah, let's start there.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Okay, so my very first, I suppose, my background.
I started off life working foreducation, let's put it that way
.
So back in Nigeria, before Icame out here, I would say I had
to work.
So I started off with a job.
I think it was about 15 or 16.
I started off with a businessselling geodorant, I think it

(05:09):
was.
Yeah, I bought and soldgeodorants.
I bought and sold baby clothes.
And then I got a job which wasvery exciting, at the age of 16,
in the primary school, and Ididn't have a job title, it was
just the lady who did anythingthen did to be done.
So I covered all classes fromnursery all the way to primary

(05:31):
six.
Then Nigeria that's what it'scalled which is a year six here,
I suppose same thing.
And then when I then came over,I went into university.
I started off investing inNigeria University of the Bado.
I did animal science.
I did one year of animalscience and then I think that
took three years because of allthe strikes.
So I came over to the UK andgot into do psychology.

(05:53):
I started off in psychology.
I think I did up to three years.
I couldn't afford to finish soI carried on working because I
was working full time andstudying part time.
I couldn't afford to finish, soI think at year three of 30 of
university I dropped out becauseof financial reasons.

(06:14):
I carried on with my workingcareer and built my cell phone
and then went on later to backinto university and I have a
master's in education, amongstmany other qualifications now.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that with us.
So I want to dig a bit into the.
You said you had to work.
What was that like?
And how did you?
What do you mean by that, andwhat was that like?

Speaker 3 (06:49):
And from about the age of 14, things started to
change financially for my family.
I got two older ones, siblings,so they were in polytechnic at
the time, but I was still insecondary school just rounding
up and I noticed that thingschanged.
Things had changed financiallysignificantly.
My dad went through a couple ofstams that took everything he

(07:14):
ever earned his life savings,his everything.
So I was in a situation whereif I wanted anything I had to
give it to myself.
But I was okay to manage withwhatever was happening and just
joining with the family.
Being the baby of the house, Ijust got on with it.
But I noticed one day I wentinto my parents' bathroom and I

(07:39):
noticed that they were in theirsub dish was a detergent in
Nigeria called Omu.
I don't know if you rememberOmu.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
I know that.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
So it's a washing powder.
Essentially that's what theyhad in their sub dish.
So I thought to myself hang ona minute, why are they using
that to shower?
Okay, I was able to buy my ownlittle joy soap from Pyrrha
Leather.
With my little businesses I wasable to cover myself.
But what's happening with myfolks?
And I didn't like that and Ithought I know my dad is doing

(08:10):
his best.
I know my mom's business.
She's doing what she can.
She's keeping a roof over herhead with her business.
Maybe I can do more.
So that was why I startedapplying for jobs and of course
my parents were not happy withit.
You're not going to work,you're too young, you need to go
to school.
So a couple of jobs I appliedfor via my parents' friends.
I did get the jobs, but ofcourse they told my parents

(08:32):
before.
They told me my parentsdeclined it.
So I never got to go.
So in the end I had to gobehind their backs, which was
very risky, but I did.
I went for the interview, snuckout of the house, did all that,
got the job.
Of course, when I came back Iwas told off and the usual.
But then I just got a job.
My mom didn't believe.

(08:52):
She was like if your fathercan't get a job, who's going to
give you a job?
You're only a kid, I said.
But I did get it and I'mstarting on Monday and I
remember vividly that I had togo and stay during the period of
the interviews and the trainingand everything.
I had to go and stay in afriend's house, a family
friend's house, to say that Iwas just visiting with them.

(09:14):
But it's because I was goingfor the job interviews, the
different series.
I had to do that.
So I got the job.
My mom was happy I got the joband every time I got a salary I
bring my envelope back to herand she'll I'll give it to her.
So that added to the income ofthe house and slowly but surely,
the soap dish.
For me is that soap dish.
There was no longer detergentin there, there was soap, there

(09:38):
was joy.
So better now, joy, and for methat that was why I did it and I
think from then on it's been acase of if I see anything that I
don't like, I always say this,saying if it has to be, it's up
to me.
That has just always been mydrive.

(09:58):
If it is to be, it's up to me.
So if a problem gravitatestowards a solution, so if I
identify a problem, it's not forme to flag it, it's for me to
solve it.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Wow, blessing this.
You were 14, 15 at this timeand you were the last born, and
usually what you tend to findwith a lot of last borns this is
not generalising, but you tend,you know, a lot of times last
borns are the ones that arechilled because they don't have
to do much.
So what was it about blessingor what was it that actually

(10:36):
made you?
I don't know if there'ssomething you grew up, I don't
know, but why.
My question is what was itabout you that made you say I'm
going to work?
You know why don't I stay after?
I've got younger ones, they canlook after me.
What was it about?

(10:58):
You know what?
I've tried to figure out.
What was going on in your brainto make you see that soap, that
powder, soap, in fact.
What was it about the Omo forthose that know Omo or Ariel,
and basically it literally issimilar to what we use in a
dishwasher.
Dishwashing powder now, orwashing powder, is similar.

(11:21):
What was it about it thattriggered in you that?
Ok, it's up to me, becausethat's not what a 15 year old
will be thinking, usually almost15 year olds.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I know that I wasn't going to use Omo to wash my body
.
I we have drawn out of so many,many, many, many months ago, if
not maybe years ago, and I havebeen using soap to shower.
How come?
Because I was with my littletrade, buying it for myself.
I could meet my own soap need.

(11:55):
Let's put it that way.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
And I was.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
I don't know, but then I'd never thought that my
parents would need my help.
It wasn't what I was thinkingat the time, but I just thought
if I can buy one for myself fromthe little I'm doing.
The whole point of going intothe geodurant business is
because I wanted geodurant and Ithought, ok, the best way to do
it is to sell it.
If I, if I owned it, then I canhave one, isn't it?

(12:18):
So I started trading ingeodurant and it is from church,
isn't it the lady who was doingit.
I just took some from her andsaid I haven't got capital, can
I, can I take some?
When I sell?
I'll, you know, I'll replenish.
The thing is I grew up in a homethat is quite entrepreneurial.
My mom was a very vividbusinesswoman.

(12:39):
I saw her set up many women inbusiness.
So maybe innately I'd grown upseeing women empowered.
Maybe so unconsciously, thatwas already my, my wiring, so to
speak, that women can do stuff.
You know, because I'd seen mymom do it for women.
On the streets You'd see womenwho were hawking and she would

(13:01):
call them in and say OK, insteadof selling what you're selling,
I'll give you a crate of Coke.
You sell it, bring back themoney and take your profit.
You know she had empoweredquite a few women, so I've seen
that happen.
So I took the same thing andapproached people who were in
business and church to say, giveme some, I'll sell and then
I'll return the capital and takemy profit.
And that's how I started.
So a simple thing of soap, Icould do it.

(13:24):
It wasn't a big deal and I wasbuying it for myself.
I was just buying two a month.
It just means I have to sellmore.
That's how I saw it.
So I took that on.
But then it led me down thepath of actually, if I can do
that, why why just get onlypetty?
I can go and get a job.
It's not like I'm doinganything.
University is on strike.
It's not like I can get in.
There's no money to go touniversity anyway, so why not?

(13:46):
You know?
So I think for me, innately itwas as if what else is there to
do?
That's how it was for me, Isuppose.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
I mean, actually that is.
I think you kind of answeredthe question I was going to ask
next, because what I was tryingto find out is what had you seen
?
What was it?
What you know, because wheredid it come from For a 15 year
old to really go out to get ajob, for 15 year old to see that

(14:17):
, see, there's a problem hereand I can do something about it.
And I think what you've, whatyou've described, is that your
mom was doing something similar.
So you had seen thatempowerment.
You had seen her empoweringothers, you had seen her running
a business.
You had seen her, you know, seea problem with other people and

(14:39):
solve it.
And I think that's so importantbecause what we see as children
is wired into our brain Verysubconsciously.
She did not have to sayanything to you.
You saw it.
It got wired passively and whena problem came up, you knew
what to do without even thinkingabout it, and that's so

(15:00):
powerful.
So I really thank you forsharing that with us.
Thank you, so I'm not going tobring us back now to the UK,
because I really wanted us toget to the foundation, basically
, and one of the things becauseyou've really talked a bit what
you said.
You've talked a lot about thatproblem solving.

(15:20):
You know, see a problem andit's up to you to solve it.
I know you quite well and I seethat play out in you over and
over.
So, in terms of coming to theUK, you then really because what
you said is that you couldn'tafford to finish your degree of
psychology, you didn't fallapart, you looked for a solution

(15:44):
is the same thing playing outagain, you know, and then in
fact even how you came to the UK, it's that whole process
playing out.
And then you then moved on.
Now You've, then you had amaster's in education and how
did you then navigate to comingto being an events planner or

(16:05):
not?
Events planner, it's eventsdesign, events designer that's
the one you navigate through,that to be to get into events
designing.
Yeah, if you just share thatwith us.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Okay.
So coming to the UK in thefirst place was the case of I
have the option of my Britishcitizen.
If I, if I'm doing so muchbeing in Nigeria, my folks, if I
moved, if I moved space, couldI do more?
That was the question, and Ithink the answer was an
immediate yes.

(16:39):
But then the question thatfollowed us how?
Because how do I afford to geta flight to get?
Where am I going to stay?
Blah, blah, blah.
You know what are the logisticsbehind it and I thought, okay,
my mom's sister still lives here.
No one knows what she's doing.
I reached out to her.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Can I just hold that thought blessing.
I'm sorry, I'm going to keepinterrupting you.
Okay, so during this wholethought process of what can I?
You know I'm doing it here, howcan I do?
Was this you driving this?
Or was it your parents, whereyou was?
Who was this coming from?
It was me.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
My parents had their own issues they were dealing
with.
They were trying to stay afloat, you know so I was
inconsequential, I was.
They were so drowned in whatthey were doing that I had the
liberty to engage myself with mythoughts.
Wow, you know so you wantsomeone to look at it as though
you were rejected, you wereabandoned.
No, I wasn't, I was.

(17:34):
I had the free will to exploremyself.
My sister, my brother, theywere offered in the, in the
university, in their stuff.
I was home alone, you know,with my parents, and I could.
I could just explore whatever Icould.
That allowed me to dare myself.

(17:55):
So it was a case of if I'm goingto go to the UK, I can't go
empty handed.
I need to upscale, I need tomake sure I have something I can
do as soon as I get in.
So little things that I wasdoing around the house the
baking, the stuff.
I went to found a neighbor whoI know run a school for baking,
so I registered with her.

(18:16):
Again, I didn't have to affordthe fees, so in exchange I can
break her.
So I said I'll do your hair fora month in exchange for
admission into your bakingschool.
She agreed to it Because I hadmy mom had a hairdressing salon,
as well as other things she wasdoing.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
So I had a lot of skills.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
I was brought up in it, so I exchanged value.
That's why I talk about value alot.
I exchanged my hairdressingskills to get access to her
baking school.
I qualified, did that, got that, happy with that.
Then, in the some of theparents that I was working with,
the kids who lived on thestreet, I worked, except,
instead of you paying driversand your nannies to take the

(18:58):
kids to school, I can comearound.
There were about 10 of them.
I can come around and pickeveryone up, take them to school
and bring them back every day,and we negotiated a rate so I
was earning from that as well.
How old were you at this time?
Probably still as a teenager.
Yes, yes, wow, yeah, wow.
Then also, of course, therewere a few girls there.

(19:21):
People were, they were havinghairdressers coming and going
and I thought no outcome, pickyour kids up, take them to my
salon, I'll undo the hair, washit and look after them that
Saturday.
That means you're gettingchildcare as well and the hairs
are done and I'll return them.
So I had quite a lot of littlejobs and I had a lot of money I

(19:42):
was making.
You know for, for, for my age,it's not like I had to pay rent
or anything.
So I was making a lot of moneyand all the money I was making
from my job the full time jobwas going straight into my mom
and she was it reinvesting it inher business or her business
skills, because she had a lot ofcapital monthly coming in.
Then the money I was makingfrom these other little jobs I

(20:04):
could spend, if that makes sense.
So I had enough cash flow formyself and then I was also
providing for my family and mymom was just doing her magic
with whatever I was bringing in.
She went from selling retailCoca Cola to becoming the major
distributor in all of Ikea.
You know from that.

(20:25):
So for me it was no longer acase of can we eat?
We could eat, you know.
You know we could fill the carwe could.
That was me bringing in mineand my mom multiplying.
So it's so.
The issue of now going abroadwas who is going to do what
you're doing here?
Who is going to afford thatsort of huge capital to do the

(20:49):
shift?
So if it's to be, it's up to me.
So I remember deciding that was.
It wasn't beyond me, but Ididn't know the answer.
So I was going to fast and pray, remember, and I said I was
going to seven days faster thanpraying on the day one.
Someone said to me why don't yougo and speak to so-and-so one

(21:10):
of the parents of my children,so to speak?
Because I had my littlechildren's club.
I said travel alone.
So I went straight to her.
I said I want to drop the caseand I said I wanted to travel.
She said travel why?
I said I'm British and I wantto go back and study.
And she was like oh, who'sgonna do all this stuff that you
agree for us?
It becomes so dependent on youas like, well, it's my turn.

(21:30):
I need to go and do somethingfor me.
She said that's not a problem,I'll buy your flight ticket.
I said, oh wow and that was itflight ticket sorted.
Do you have a passport?
Passport, what's a passport?
So you know, that's just thejourney and I carried on and got
my British because my parentshadn't done my British passport
either.
So I went and I had got myBritish passport, got my

(21:54):
Nigerian passport again theseare from parents helping out,
chipping in.
You know, oh, you've done thisfor my kids, you've done this,
you've done that.
Okay, what do you need?
How much do you need?
And that was it, and I justsomehow figured it all out and
got on a plane and arrived herewith my suitcase and slept on
the floor for a good threemonths, you know, wow.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Let's take a break there, because there's a lot to
unpack there.
That is that is amazing, youknow.
You know something you said Imean always comes back to that
saying.
You keep saying it is down tome if it has to be done, it's
down to me.
And one of the there are twothings you did which I find
really powerful.

(22:34):
You started fasting and prayingand you see, that is is so
powerful in the sense that oncewe start one, we are connecting
to God to hear what God issaying.
It helps us to quiet him downand stop moving and trying to
figure things out in the process.
You're able to hear from God,because I always say that, see,

(22:56):
we are spirits.
God is a spirit and he canspeak to us.
He's always speaking to us, butmost times we're not hearing
because we're just constantlymoving.
But insights for, as aChristian, is when God speaks to
your spirit and a lot of timeswe don't hear it.
But when you don't quiet him topray and there's something

(23:18):
powerful about praying becausewe're praying and the good type
of prayers you're listening andwhen you listen, you hear and
that and it's so great that whenthat person came to you on that
first day to say ask thisperson.
If you were not that in thatcalm, quieting mode, you would

(23:40):
have brushed it off and say Idon't need to.
You did actually almost.
Do you know why would I speakto this person?
But because you, in thatquieting mode, listening and
being able to take action, youtook the action.
So you're not just praying andpraying and praying.
For seven days you prayed, youlisten, you acted, and that's so
powerful and you asked that,you asked and you know, when you

(24:07):
ask, the opportunities come, Ilove it, I love it, I love it,
right.
So then you came to the UK.
When you go here, you did, youknow, we don't, because of time,
we can't go into all thedetails.
In fact, I think, blessing, weneed to come back and do a part
two, part three and see wherethis leads us.
But in fact it's interestingbecause I did not realize that

(24:30):
you had started, you know, doinghair back in Nigeria.
Because the story here is thatI met you when I had my own hair
and beauty salon and my mainhairdresser had left and I was
looking for someone to come andhelp me out and someone said do
you know?
Blessing?
And I said no, she said, oh,she does hair, but she's not a

(24:53):
hair, she's not a hairdresser,but she's very good.
She and I can't remember if shesaid you were trained, but she
said you are very good anyway.
Anyway, you came through, Ispoke to you and the rest is
history.
You helped me out for a fewmonths before eventually had to
sell and close the salon.
You came to the UK and younavigated and I think the reason

(25:16):
I brought this up is that whatyou were doing back home, what
you learned from home, it's askill you had picked up and you
could.
You still use dates even yearslater in the UK, and that is
what ended up connecting us andprobably connected you to so
many other people.
And that's so important thatwhen we acquire skills along

(25:39):
that journey, don't don't don'tdevalue it, because they come in
handy at different points andit's never wasted.
So I'm gonna give you the micagain to now take us through how
you then came into what you'redoing now.
So, navigating through, I knowyou've done a bit in education

(26:04):
and then you I know, in fact,you a lot that you said, really
you know, got me to understand alot of what you do, because the
cake.
I didn't even realize the cakebaking, how you paid for
yourself to go and learn thatbecause you eventually have your
.
If I want you do now is that'show let you.

(26:25):
I'll let you take it.
I'll let you take it okay.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
I think it's important to watch.
Your saying is very, very keyvocational skills.
You can never have enough ofthem.
And I think, like what's yoursaying, I just think it's
important to say is, when Idecided that I was going to come
here, I always ask what is inmy hand, and I had skills, so I
made sure that I got aqualification to quantify that

(26:51):
skill before I left.
So my hairdressing yes, Ilearned everything.
I was fortunate enough to bewith a mom who run a vocational
back then was the NDE, so shehad like what we're in the UK
will call MVQ school, so she hadthat.
So that was exposed to a lot ofskills.
But I made sure I got mycertification for hairdressing,
for the baking, for the.
I got the certification becauseI was preparing to come out

(27:13):
here.
So I didn't think I want tocome here.
I'm gonna become a cleaner, I'mgonna go, I've got something to
offer and I'm going to exchangemy value.
So I prepared myself, so gothere.
Of course I've got education,experience, I've got you know.
So I, I got here, startedlooking for a job immediately I
got it.
I got an admission.
My university then emails tosay that course wasn't running

(27:35):
that year because they didn'thave enough intake so it meant I
couldn't start immediately.
I got in so I had more time toplay with, so to speak.
So I got a job.
I said I looking for jobswithin the education space.
I tried out in a couple ofprimary schools and then I ended
up in a nursery school.
I was lucky enough, when Iknocked on the door it was the
owner who let me in.

(27:55):
So she interviewed me on thesport, said she's gonna give me
a trial, which she did.
She loved me, she employed me.
I started off maybe the nextMonday.
I started my career here.
So I was working in nurseryschool.
Of course it's different fromhow things are done in Nigeria,
so it took a minute to calmmyself down.

(28:17):
You know.
You know what I mean.
So I got on with it.
Well, she was quite invested inme.
She.
She would monitor me, maybefrom the CCTV.
If she sees I did anything, weshould call me and correct me.
So I started off there and theSeptember of that year I was
able to get into another courseand started schooling part-time
my psychology degree.
So having done that job I thinkabout for a year I saw it's

(28:44):
almost like I fast forwarded.
I do fast forward myself infive years.
I do mentally.
I do look five years.
What does this look like for mein five years?
And I couldn't see myself inthat space in five years.
So I thought, okay, I need tofind another space.
So I told the lady that I wouldbe looking for another job, not
because I'm not great for botsand it's what fans and there's

(29:05):
not much room here.
So I then got a job inoff-stead I applied for as a
civil servant and got a job inoff-stead within the help desk
team for inspectors.
So I got in at the then.
Whatever the C1, whatever itwas administrator.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
And just to come in here for those that don't know
what off-stead is, what isoff-stead in the office for
education standards, so they'rethe ones who manage the
standards of education andinspect schools.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
So I got in as an administrator and started my
career there as an administratorand then, of course, rose in
the ranks when it's a help desk,management and things that.
And then there was a vacancyfor training, training
administrator, trainingcoordinator was called.
So again, background inteaching.
I was quite keen on it so Itook on.

(30:01):
I said I'll take it on withoutextra pay because they said they
won't give it to me.
But I had qualified for a B3,which is first-line management,
but there was no job per se forit and I agreed to take it on.
If I did the job well, in threemonths they were going to give
it to me.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
So they said fine, and that was what you negotiated
for yourself.
You see, I think this isimportant to stop here and
emphasize that.
I like how you said that youkind of look, you know, five
years at in advance to whereyou're going to be, or asking
yourself the question where do Isee myself?
And that's so powerful.

(30:39):
You know how the Bible talksabout vision.
You know, write your vision,that have a vision.
Vision is literally lookinginto the future to see, and it's
asking yourself the questionwhat do I see?
Do I see myself still doingthis or rising?
And that's planning.
And when you give your brainsomething to plan for something
to see, your brain always takesyou to that thing.

(31:02):
It will help you navigatethrough it.
You know, and it's so powerful.
You know, and I like the wayyou said it, because that is
what helped you leave thatinitial job to go into Austin
and helped you within Austin tosee an opportunity.
The first thing you didn't dooh, I need the money.
What you are seeing more of iswhere is it taking you?

(31:25):
Because you knew where youwanted to go and you took it
without pay but negotiated and Ithink that is so key, really
negotiating what you want.
A lot of times we don't.
You know, surely women, a lotof women, hold back from
negotiating what they want.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
But you did at that point and so, okay, let me do it
for three months and then yousee, oh, that's so cool, okay,
continue so I did that and itturned out that whenever the
head of department PA was goingon leave For some reason because
I was the Jack of all tradekind of person I would be asked

(32:07):
to sit in for her.
So I used to feel very coolwith myself.
I have to move desk from beingwith memmo tools to sit on the
other side where the head ofdepartment's desk was and be
happy for a week or two whilsthappy was on leave.
So that helped me a lot becauseit helped me with my

(32:27):
communication skills and I tookadvantage of it.
I wrote her letters, I sent heremails.
It really helped.
So by the time this job came upand I was bold enough to say
I'll do it, see what I can do,which I did.
So I got into trainingcoordination and part of the job

(32:49):
was then to create a waydaysfor the staff.
I've never done it before but,ok, let's try.
So part of that was that tobook in the venues, coming up
with the agenda.
So I said just let me do it.
I have.
You guys have nothing to lose.
You're not paying me for it.
If it goes wrong, you have lostnothing.
If it goes right, you havegained so much.

(33:10):
So the first day they gave mefree reign, gave me a budget and
I managed it.
I can spend all the money, butI gave us a beautiful way day.
The agenda was on, spot on.
The engagement is worked.
So, of course, by the time wecame back, I was put into a
meeting on Monday.
I was given the job, up my pay,but you know and Well, you've
never done anything like thatbefore, had you no Wow?

(33:35):
Wow.
No, I think you know creativity.
This is why I say I'm an eventdesigner, not a planner, because
design is my superpower.
It doesn't matter what space Igo into, it doesn't matter what
it is.
I can think from within andcome up with an idea and come up
with a solution.
So I use that.

(33:56):
I suppose I'm more conscious ofit now, but then it was just
the thing I did.
But now I claim it's mysuperpower and I know it's my
strength and so I play with it.
So I did that and that's how Igot into designing conferences,
planning away days, trainingcourses, training, so that we
would have a budget and peopleneed training and of course, the

(34:16):
money never meets.
You have to come up withcreative ways to then make sure
people do their key skills.
So Adam said, if I trained, ifI trained to be the trainer and
I delivered it in-house, itwould be cheaper for us.
So a lot of times that's what Iended up doing to make my
budget work.
So I became a trainer myself tothen cascade the training down

(34:38):
to others and I saved myorganization quite a significant
amount of money.
But whilst doing, I was rackingup my own, my own skills, my
own qualifications, you know,vocational training came in.
Then Everybody had to have theITQ.
When the whole buzz of IT cameon and was, the IT department
said they can handle it, Ithought I'll do it, you know,

(34:58):
and I'm a yes person.
So I got the training todeliver it and I became an A1
assessor, went on to be a V1.
You know, I just kind of pushedmy way through there and then
fast forward a few years laterBack to coming, moving, getting
my having kids and coming overto Kent and those skills.

(35:19):
You know, those skills hadstacked up.
So it was almost like that wasa path I loved.
I just love bringing peopletogether, I loved gathering, I
loved it and I also lovedesigning.
So you put two and two together.
What do you have then on thecommercial level is to design
events, and but not just designevents to bring people together,

(35:39):
but with a purpose.
I want to know what my client'sKPI is.
I want to know why are youdoing it?
What is it you want to achieve?
And then I walk backwards,design backwards, to make sure
that need is met.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Oh, you know, I'm listening to you and I, like I
said, I've known you for years.
A lot is falling into place forme.
I'm thinking OK, so this is howit started, and one of the
things that I always findfascinating about you is your
creativity.
Your dopamine gosh goes intodrives.

(36:15):
You know, it's kind of spire,it goes.
It's amazing the way your brainworks and then you know that's
all.
If there's a problem, what canwe do?
It's interesting because, asyou're very creative in things,
you're so creative with people.
It's if somebody has a problem,how do I solve it for them?

(36:39):
You know your brain isconstantly ticking that way and
now I see how the origin started, but the power in how you've
leveraged it, how you've used it, how you've continued to really
enhance those skills.
Yes, I'm sure there are timesyou felt low, usually when you

(37:00):
know background, when thingswere not going as planned.
But what's really got, you know, pushed you.
Is that OK?
What do I need to do?
How?
What's the solution?
How do we navigate through this?
And I think that is justcommendable.
So I want you to now share withus.
Ok, your journey has beenthrough the events planning.

(37:23):
You have a cake.
You know cake is still one ofyour biggest passions.
Talk to us about the cakebusiness.
And talk to us about the eventsdesigning and you know what you
do, because I know you dowedding as well.
You do corporate events.
Talk to us a bit about that andI'm going to kind of drill a

(37:43):
bit, you know, drill a bitdeeper into it.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
OK, so carried on in my career and then, after I
think, my second child no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You have to go back to firstchild.
It was her birthday and weneeded a cake and I couldn't
find anyone locally who could dowhat I wanted.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Problem.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Yeah, ok, I couldn't find anyone who could do what I
wanted locally.
So I thought, ok, how do I givemyself what I want?
So I went to a charity show andI bought a baking book.
I remember I still have it.
It was £2.50.
I still have the boba.
So I read it cover to cover andI thought I can do this.

(38:26):
I've trained, even though how wedo it there and how we do it
how it's done here is different.
I can find a way we didn't have.
There was no YouTube then orGoogle, where there's a hack for
something.
We didn't have it then you hadto read.
So I bought the tins, I boughtthe ingredients.
I didn't just got on with it.
I've got the basic skills, bythe way.
So I followed the recipe.

(38:47):
I baked the cake.
I remember baking the cake anddecorating it.
I didn't put any fillings inthe cake, because in Nigeria you
don't put fillings but here.
So I made the cake and everyoneloved it.
When I look at the pictures nowI'm like, oh my God.
But I got so much praise for itand people right then and then

(39:08):
asked me to make their cakes forthem and I said I'm making a.
You, of course you were one ofthose people who kept
encouraging me, like, oh, I'vegot this coming up.
Oh it's Monday, make me a cake.
Oh, it's Friday.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
I did a Friday cake, you know, I've still got
pictures of your cakes that youmade different times, because
there was a time I was so into Ithink it was Russell and
Bromley and you made a cake ofRussell and Bromley Bag or
something for me.
And yeah, no, but your cakes,even my children's cakes, yes, I
think it's the designs and Ithink that's that creativity

(39:42):
that kept coming through.
Everything that you did, yeah,ok continue.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
Yes, it was definitely definitely the design
, you know.
So I made a few cakes and aftera few I think I thought these
are people, friends or friends,so I kind of need to do things
right.
I'm always a person who likesdoing things right.
So I did what I needed to do,got my food license, as it were,
to then make cakes from home,of course, and registered it as

(40:12):
a small business on the set,because I still have my
full-time job going.
So I carried on doing that.
And then with the cakes it's alot to grow as people ask for
wedding cakes.
My neighbor's brother wasgetting married and wanted me to
make the cake and of course Ihad the panic.
So I'm sure we'll get my panics.
I had my panic or the panic.

(40:33):
I did the cake, it was greatand I think it just grew from
there.
And then the design keptpushing through and I saw that I
wanted to style my cakes.
So when someone orders a cake,I don't just deliver a cake
anymore.
The cake has a table, that hasa cloth, that has a base and
other.
That.
And I did so many style shootsfor magazines and Kent's wedding

(40:56):
magazine will come and theyneed to take.
Can you feature this?
And I'll start creatingsomething and create a design
and take the pictures and sendto them.
I wasn't a lot of that, youknow, for the magazine, and then
it dawned on me that hang onwhat this is.
It's design, it's styling.
I want to do more than just thecake and that's how I got into
venue styling, you know, cause Ialready had the event design

(41:18):
going on, but my expression wasgrowing, so I started to look
for specific fabrics, so that tolook for specific, and I went
all the way.
My search led me all the way tosuppliers in China, so I was
now designing my own sort offlorals, flower walls.
You know, come up withsomething and they can create it

(41:39):
.
And it just honestly, it waslike a kid in a child.
What do you call it in a sweetshop?
In a sweet shop, it wasexciting.
It was exciting.
It wasn't even about the moneyanymore, it was just, you know,
but of course I've got bills topay, you've got to check the
balance.
You've got to make money,you've got to I'm coming to that

(42:00):
.
So my creativity took the bestside of me when I was just
creating and creating andcreating for creating sake.
So that's how we went fromBlackature Cakes to Blessing by
Blair, which is the design,styling.
That's what it was.
Then it's grown up to becomesomething else, you know, but

(42:22):
that's the journey into it.
If that answers the question.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yeah, yeah.
Now that's really great becauseI want you to continue a bit
into where you're at now,because I'm going to go back,
but just quickly into from thedesigning weddings to where you
are now in terms of beinginternational events and what
you're doing now.
So just take us the wholejourney, because I'm going to go

(42:47):
back a bit, go backwards.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
Okay, that's fine.
So I'm doing my cakes and I hada boutique where we made the
cakes from and also had awedding planning sort of office
in there.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
So you literally created a proper business out of
yes.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Oh yes.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
I had the two businesses, so Blackature Cakes
and Blessing by Blair, and thenwe had a premises where we
worked from and again, I had myfive-year planning.
Where do I see myself in fiveyears?
And I thought, if I'm going todo event planning, I also want
to take into account mycorporate events, past and

(43:29):
experience.
And I had tried to do it herewithin my sphere.
There wasn't much how do youput it?
My skill set was not requiredin the space I was in.
I'm back to space again, so Ithought, okay what, what space
was this at that time?
The Kent Market.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
The Kent Market.
I was doing very well withcakes and stuff, yes, but with
the events, what I wanted todeliver didn't fit in my space,
so I needed a new space.
So I went back to my thinkingself.
I always ask myself if you hadthe magic wand, what would you
want?
You have no restrictions.
I thought, okay, I would wantto do events in the oil and gas

(44:09):
space and I want to gointernational and I want to
start from my home country,nigeria.
So I want to do oil and gasevents in Nigeria and from there
take over the world.
That was just my wish.
I wrote it down.
It's my five-year plan.
It's just between me and myself.
Nobody's going to judge mewhether I do it or not.
It doesn't matter.
But that was it.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
But as soon as I get one of those.
That's what was the desire.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
That was it.
And as soon as I get one ofthose things, I tend to go back
to my fasting and praying.
Now, when I say fasting andpraying, it's because I've
dreamed a dream that I think isbigger than where I am Spot on,
yes.
So the reason I fast and prayis I need to move myself to this
new space, because if my braindoesn't live there, I can't get

(44:57):
there.
So I fast and pray, not becauseI'm praying to God to come and
save me.
I'm praying because I know Godhas already saved me.
So I need to just move myselfspiritually and my physical will
follow.
That's the simple way I can putit.
So my fasting and praying is tohear, is to connect with I'm

(45:20):
one with God.
So I need to remember who I am.
So that's why I fast and pray.
And as soon as I start fastingand praying, someone comes into
my shop.
I mean my apron covered inflour.
I was finishing up a weddingcake and I had a couple who came

(45:41):
in.
No, three people came inHusband, wife and a daughter who
was getting married.
They sat with me and quietabout their wedding cake.
We finished that consultation,but while I was having someone
else, another gentleman came inand I asked him to wait, so
which he did.
So when I finished with thesepeople on the left, I sat him
down and he had observed that onmy screen I did events and

(46:03):
luxury events, and he could seehe was intrigued by what he had
seen and my work was on thescreen, and so he just came in
to say what it was he came to doand we talked about it and he
wasn't of interest to me, he wasselling something.
But he then observed what wasthen and said, oh, he also did
blah, blah, blah blah and thestory I think that's a different

(46:25):
podcast on its own, but weconnected and it turned out that
he was running events inNigeria in the oil and space.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
So that's a story for another time or we might come
back to it.
But that then led to yourunning events in Nigeria in the
oil and gas space, and that isjust so powerful because it was
a desire you had, and then howyou, and then it happened.
Now I want us to come back abit into you've this.

(46:59):
You've told us how you'venavigated different.
You know you move from onespace to another.
How, what, how has that been?
Because when you're saying it,it's like, ok, it's quite easy.
You know you want to move intoa space, and then you pray about
it and then you shift and yougo.
What's been the reality ofmoving into those spaces?

Speaker 3 (47:23):
It's a good question.
The reality it comes down to adecision first of all.
I think it's a series ofdecision.
Decision is what do I want?
What do I want, and that'ssomething you've taught me, even
on a more advanced level now,what do I want?
So, once I'm clear on what Iwant, I convert what I want to

(47:43):
an intention, so I write it down.
This is a hope.
That's detailed enough.
I write it down and when Istart to write, it starts
writing as I want, I want.
That's fine, I just shut itdown.
Then I go back and rewrite itas present I am, I am, it's
happening.
I sometimes doesn't happenimmediately.

(48:05):
Sometimes it takes me threemonths for that shift to take
place.
But why do you do that?
Because I know that I can wanttill the cows come home.
It makes no difference.
The more I want, I'll just keepattracting, wanting more.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Spot on.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
So that's a waste of energy.
Yes, and back to that.
My saying of if it is to be isup to me.
If I ask the right question,I'll get the right answer.
So it's always down to what isthe right question to ask.
So I keep, I keep rephrasing myquestions, and writing down is
a very good thing, because ifyou just keep it all in your

(48:43):
head, you don't know whereyou're at.
Well for me anyway.
So I, I, I generally lots, Iwrite a lot.
So I write down my questionswhat do I want?
What do I want?
And I keep checking what I wantwith that five year dream or
five year vision or five yearplan.
If it, if it's not going to getme there, why am I praying for
it?
I think for me that's the keything is if God answers that

(49:04):
prayer and praying, is it goingto fulfill the need?
So I'm honest with myselfbecause I strongly believe that
God can do anything.
Yeah, anything is possible.
That's not a, it's not ascripture for me, it's a reality
for me.
Anything is possible.
So I need to determine what thething is.
That's the role I have to play.

(49:26):
So if I'm not clear on thething, god is going to multiply
whatever the thing I give is.
So I need clarity on the thingbecause when he, when the
blessing comes upon us and ismultiplied, if I'm a minus and
it's multiplied, I'm going to bemore minus.
If I'm in profit and it'smultiplied, I'm going to have

(49:47):
more profit.
So I must be clear that thething I can attach the any to it
, because anything is possible.
So it's very important to beclear on intention and to be
sure that intention matches thegoal.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
Yeah, yeah, clarity, clarity.
And how establishing thatclarity?
How do you do that?

Speaker 3 (50:09):
By writing.
I literally write so it'swriting.
Yes, so I write and I go backand read it again and I have, I
have.
I can let this out of, but Ihave an alter ego, I have
blessing and I have Ngozi.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
I like that.
These are her two names.

Speaker 3 (50:27):
Yes, my name is about me.
Ngozi is the normal happy girl,lucky, whatever you like.
Default person.
Blessing is a rewired brain.
That has been more in, like Ialways say.
Often I come up with something.
I have to then battle itbetween Ngozi and blessing, so

(50:49):
there's a debate going on.
So I shifted from up here todown on my paper.
So I'm now objective, I'm lessemotive, I've objectives with it
.
It's away from me.
By writing it down, it'sseparated from me.
I'm not a motive about it.
I'm looking at it as though Iwas talking to somebody else,
because I'm very good at solvingpeople's problems.
What can I solve my own?

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Absolutely.
And let me just cut in a bitthere, because what you've
described is so powerful thatyou've got your alter ego,
you've got Ngozi, you've gotblessing and for everyone
listening, it could be howeveryou interpret it, it's up to you
, but the truth is yoursubconscious brain, in what's in

(51:29):
memory, is going to battleanything you're bringing in
consciously, because what youhave in your subconscious is
your memory, is your beliefs.
Are those experiences, thoseexperiences that you've had
growing up, like blessing, asjust described her own
experiences from childhood.
A lot of those will come out,surely, when you're now coming

(51:51):
up with something new.
Oh, but this is different.
Your brain, your subconsciousbrain, want to keep you safe,
protected, and you see, we'reall wired differently as well.
I'm listening to you.
I can tell immediately that yourfrontal part of your brain,
that dopamine, is really whatdrives a lot of what you do, and
that dopamine is, you know,that right side of the brain is

(52:15):
where we have the.
You know a lot of thatconnecting with people, building
relationships with people,where people matter to you.
The problem is to be able to beobjective.
You've got to quiet in thatdopamine bit down.
And the yeast.
You've got to quiet in it downa bit To be able to activate the

(52:37):
serotonin so that you can thinkand analyze and evaluate.
The problem is that many peopledon't know how to quiet in one
part and activate another part.
They feel that, oh, I'm justcreative, so I'm just in that
creative space.
It's your brain, it's knowinghow to navigate this.
And I know, let's say youtalked about more, you know

(53:00):
being more in.
All it is is coaching to enableyou understand how to navigate
your brain.
You did talk about you know.
So you know let me not deviatea bit so those two, literally is
your subconscious, unconsciousbrain at battle.
So it's knowing how to navigatethat.
So you've got the Ingozie,you've got the blessing and

(53:22):
you've developed a way of beingable to detach the emotion from
the.
Is it the Ingozie?
It detached the emotion fromthe Ingozie so that you can
really be, really, so thatblessing can step in and then go
okay, this is what we are doingor this is what we need to
remove or add and be able to dothat.

(53:43):
So thank you for bringing upbecause that's really important
in getting an understandingwhere we need to go and
connecting.
You know, even hearing from God.
So we are praying.
We're hearing.
Are we hearing the right?
Is this what God is saying tome?
Is it in line with what I'mdoing or we are going?

(54:03):
Is it actually God speaking ornot?
You know so.
All those things are soimportant.
So, thank you, so continue.

Speaker 3 (54:10):
I think it's important to add that Ingozie is
the she's very filling, filling.
She feels, you know, she feelsit all.
That's the emotion.
Yes, and I'm conscious of myfeelings, and my feelings to me
is an indication of what I'mthinking.
So, my feelings is not aspiritual thing.
It's just indicates what I'mthinking.

(54:31):
It is a consciousness.
Of consciousness, Exactly, yeah.
When I have certain feelings, Ihave to ask why am I feeling
that way?

Speaker 1 (54:37):
Spot on yes.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
Why am I having feelings Exactly?
You know.
So, when I'm aware of how I'mfeeling, I'm aware of what I'm
thinking and the truth is, Ihave the power to change my
thoughts.
Yes, my thoughts don't determineme, I determine my thoughts.
So if I can change my thinking,then I can change my feelings.
Emotions, absolutely.

(55:01):
Yes, that's what I teach mykids.
You know, even they areteenagers.
So of course you've got thewhole and I have taught them and
I keep teaching.
It's a choice, absolutely.
If you let your feelingsdetermine your day, you have no
control over your day.
I say the same to myself.
So whenever I feel the feelings, what's going on?

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah, it's asking the question.
You've got to stop and ask yourbrain the question why am I
feeling this way?
Because your brain will giveyou the answer.
Because a lot of times thoseemotions or feelings are below
our consciousness and that's whyyou can suddenly be feeling
something and then going what'sgoing on here?

(55:46):
If you don't stop and ask yourbrain the question, you will
just go with that emotion in thewrong, where your brain is
taking you.
Your brain is only acting onthe information it has and
that's your subconscious brainand that's what drives 90% or
even more of what we do.
So what we want to do isconsciously take that control

(56:07):
back.
So thank you, blessing.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
I'm guaranteed my feelings will never align with
my dreams or my visions.
So I have to teach them tofollow me, because if I wait for
when I feel right to dosomething, I'll be waiting a
long time.
So anyway, continuing on, I'vegone in and I'm designing events
internationally now and I'mexcited I'm in this space and I

(56:29):
went in into a space that wasbigger than me and it was like
when you take a koi fish out ofa fish bowl and put it in a pond
and all of a sudden you're likeso this fish could be this big.
I watched myself and I watchedyou watch me just become.
I just became, you know.

(56:51):
So when I make that statement,it's not a fancy word, it's a
real thing.
I watched myself become morethan I thought I was.
So the question then came couldthere be more?
So I was no longer hungry, Ibecame greedy.
I want more, I can be more, Ican be more.
So I did a lot of work with youin my identity, you know,

(57:16):
because it shifting and I thinkfor us as women, shifting from
identifying who you are withwhat you do I.
That is a big thing on its own.
So who I, what I do does notdetermine who I am.
Who I am will influence what Ido.
But it took me a minute.

(57:37):
That's again, okay.
What I do does not determinewho I am.
Who I am is what will determinewhat I do.
Yeah, it took me a minute toalign with our statements
because I struggled.
I struggled with my identitycoming into this space.

(57:58):
I desired it, I want it.
I'm here.
I struggled, I struggled.
The struggle was do I?
Why am I here?
What can I offer?
Oh, my God, what are theexpecting of me?
Oh, can I even do it?
What do I think I'm doing here?
I'm just at this.
I know people just say Bostersyndrome, but I have a different

(58:21):
take on it now.
But then, my goodness, I didn't.
I didn't think I should bethere.
I really struggled with yes.
I'm here I desired it and Iwalked my way there or whatever.
But every year I always had the.
Every year it was a case of ohmy God, what am I supposed to do
here?
And I saw that that feelingaffected my work because you

(58:45):
don't, because I didn't value.
I lost sight of my value in thespace I was in.
It affected my delivery becauseof my confidence.
But I think the advantage ofhaving a coach is you can be
honest and come to the tablewith that and and again being

(59:06):
being coached to think correctlyand just someone to help you
with your thinking.
But it's back to a feeling.
It's a feeling, it's just afeeling.
So that feeling is anindication of what you're
thinking, whether it'sconsciously or consciously.
So we go back to that cycleagain.
So my thinking had to be almostmanual.
I had to let go of autopilotfully and manually think.

(59:30):
Intentionally, I had to think Ihad to write so many.
I had to.
Just, I was going through booksone book a week from my
thinking.
When I wake up in the morning.
I write down every morning whoI am, what I am, what is it, my
intention, what I'm going to.
I took the deliberate steps todo it for months maybe, maybe up

(59:51):
to a year of consolidating.
I had to reprogram my brain.
I had to rewire my brain.
I had to tell my brain how tothink yes, yes, we are this way,
we are that way, but this is tomove forward.
This is how I want you to think, and, using the tools that I
gained from the Men's HealthAcademy, I was able to put it to

(01:00:12):
work.
I'm not someone who learns forlearning sake, or to express
that I've learned something, ortake joy in knowing I want to do
, I want to actually, and for me, the Bible, the scripture,
isn't a storybook.
I'd rather have five scripturesthat make sense and I can put
to work than the whole you knowso because, again, if you think

(01:00:34):
about it back to my, if it hasto be, it's up to me.
I need to know what I can do andjust give me, give me action to
take.
So so for me, I think, fromfrom from being that in that
space, to, if that's possible,what's next?
And I open myself up andthere's more coming if I put it

(01:00:57):
that way Listen, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
You know what I'm going to.
We're going to have to do apart two, because we can go on
and on, because your journey hasjust been amazing in terms of
how you've learned to take thatcontrol back of your brain, how
to manage the emotions, which isall, which is emotional

(01:01:20):
intelligence, basically, knowing, understanding the brain,
understanding the emotions,understanding that you are in
control.
One thing that I want us totouch on before we round up
today is you did mention thatwhen the first person came to
you and asked for a cake for Ithink it was a wedding or family

(01:01:40):
thing you panicked.
Now I want to talk to us abouthow you navigated that panic,
because I know there was also atime and you see, this is so
important we are by, and you didmention it briefly every time
you're going to step up, panicwould set in.
The reason why is that it'sunknown to your brain, so your

(01:02:03):
brain doesn't know it, so itwants to protect you from it, so
you panicked at that stage.
I know there was a time you didyour first international wedding
.
You panicked as well.
Can you just talk to us aboutthis and how you navigated it,
how you lead, Because we've beentalking about it why your brain
?
How did you do it?

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
Okay, so I can talk about.
I think the wedding one is onethat I would want to talk about.
I had my first destinationwedding booked and I went out
with the bride a couple of times.
Us, the venue, did all that.
Now this is the night beforethe wedding itself.
Everyone is there.
I've done my job.
I've brought everyone there.
It's just before we hit go.

(01:02:43):
I had a severe panic attack.
I didn't sleep at all thatnight.
I did not sleep one wink.
I went to the venue severaltimes the evening before just to
cross, check and recheck.
It was all good, but that nightI didn't sleep.
I was in the pool of my ownsweat.
It's the biggest thing I haddone at the time.

(01:03:04):
And in the morning, as God wouldhave it, and I'm grateful.
I always say to you, I'mgrateful for you you rang me all
the way in Rome, where I was,and I picked up the phone and
you could tell I wasn't okay andI told you what was going on.
I don't even know if I was ableto articulate my words.
What you then told me was amid-dela hijack, True to form.

(01:03:29):
When you come up with thesethings, I just want to
understand what's going on.
So you told me what it was andI was like, good, there's a
diagnosis, what's the cure?
Straight up.
So I think it shifted meslightly from what I'm panicking
about to oh, there's a problemto solve.
There's something else I needto learn Quick, quick.

(01:03:49):
What is it?
And I remember standing in frontof the mirror when you were
talking to me.
Maybe you told me to go to themirror.
So I started from the mirror onmy phone and I remember because
that's the vision I have of it,and you explained to me what
was happening, the signs behindtheir mid-dela hijack.
So I understood fully the signsof what is going on.
Good, Now, what do I do?

(01:04:11):
So you started asking mequestions.
Why are you here?
Why do they hire you?
Blah, blah, blah, Do, do, do,do.
Do you know this stuff you wereable to give me, ask me
questions for me to answer.
That brought me back into theroom because I had panicked and
let fear.
I was afraid of the unknown.

(01:04:32):
Yes, I was afraid of theunknown and I'm not if I'm
thinking about it now what wasthe unknown?
I don't know.
I've done many of them before,but now I can say that, but at
that time.
But when you bring it intocontext and you can separate the
feelings, again I realize it'sjust another step.
So I think rewiring of the brainfor me is, has been, is not has

(01:05:00):
been, will forever be with mebecause I'm forever going to be
changing.
So it's being comfortable withthe change Absolutely.
When you allow yourself toresist the change, you resist
growth, and I know you startedoff with a while back about

(01:05:21):
growth mindset and that's thatexposed me to.
I can actually program myselfto be in that mode.
If you choose to have a growthmindset, you have to choose the
discomfort that comes with it,and there's nothing wrong with
it.
It's okay.
It's okay to not know.
And there's something I wrotedown back then.

(01:05:42):
I said if I can't get rid ofthe fear to do it, I will do it
afraid.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
So as soon as I realized that the fear is not I
don't need to get over the fearto do it here, you're welcome to
come along with the ride I findthat as soon as I open the door
for the fear to come into thecar, you don't hear from the
fear anymore.
So I'm maybe a mumbling, butfor me, but it makes sense.

(01:06:10):
Yeah, it makes sense.
I mean, you talked me off theledge that day with whatever it
was you said, because you mademe look into myself to see who I
was.
You are good at what you do.
That's why someone took youfrom where you were.
There's a reason and they'repaying you for it.

(01:06:31):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
So how did the wedding go after that?
How did it go?

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
It still brings tears to me.
It was such a bliss, it was soamazing.
It's still in touch with thefamily.
You know, it was just anamazing event.
It was just an amazing eventand I'm so grateful for the
opportunity to have done it andother things then, and I think

(01:07:02):
it's important to note that thisthing we call imposter syndrome
is an indication of growth.
We're just going out of our box.
Exactly, exactly.
It's a very negative thing,exactly, it's a very positive
thing, positive thing exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
And you see, I think you're saying that is so
important because it all comesdown to perspective.
It all comes down to how youinterpret anything and the way
you interpret it will becomeyour reality.
For it to be the reality foryou, because what you described,
that you expressed, it's whatwe call imposter, but it's
growth, it's opportunity to grow.

(01:07:38):
And even as a Christian, we saywhen God gives you a vision or
gives you something that isbigger, you know, some people
call it God-sized vision orGod-sized dream.
It's bigger than you andbecause it's bigger than where
you are now, that's what it is.
But to be able to get there,you've got to stretch, you've

(01:07:58):
got to exercise those musclesLike when you're going to the
gym and you want to build yourmuscles, you've got.
But a lot of times we shy awayfrom that uncomfortability of
the pain or the challenge or theresistance.
What we need to do is reallypush through, embrace it.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
You have to embrace it Exactly.
You know you have to push, youhave to look for imposter
syndrome situations, becausethat means you're growing.
You have to go and look for it.
You have to go and look for itBecause the more you have it,
the more you're growing.
And once you overcome something, once you've overcome it, so

(01:08:38):
don't overcome and say I'veovercome, thank God, I'm here
now.
No, don't settle, keep going,keep pushing, because we're
forever, because we arelimitless.
Thank you Is the extent.
I'm curious to see the extentto which I can grow.
I want to know what else thereis within me.
I want to know what else I cando.
What problems can I solve?

(01:08:59):
I want to see the next versionof blessing.
What is it going to be?
Who is she going to meet?
I'm curious to see what's nextfor me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
I love that.
I love that I'm going to bringthis to a close for now, because
the next podcast guys watch outis going to be the next phase
of where blessing got to.
But blessing, can you just tellus quickly what you're working
on now, because I know you'vegot an event coming up soon, and

(01:09:32):
if you just talk to us aboutwhat's Black Global and what
you're doing at the moment, OK.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
So Black Global is an international business
relations consultancy, again anoffspring from other things that
we've done in the past.
So at this point it'sfacilitating market entry either
into the UK or from UK to otherparts of the world.
So businesses who want to takethemselves global, we can help

(01:10:01):
facilitate that and we do thatthrough connections,
collaborations and just thehuman capital cutting through
red tape to get you to where youwant to be.
We've got an event coming up inOctober, 21st of October, the
Empower Gala.
Again, it's simply to inspireand empower people.
We're looking to recognizethose who have done quite a lot

(01:10:23):
in the Kent community and alsoto inspire those who are just
joining or the youngergeneration, that anything is
possible.
You know, where you are is notthe determining factor.
Not where you are physically,but where you are mentally is
what determines where you end up.
You know, like I keep sayingabout space, space it's

(01:10:45):
important to identify the spaceyou're in.
If the space you're in isn'tbig enough, just like when you
have a child, you put them in acrib, then a cot, then a baby
bed, then you move them on to asingle bed, then you move them
on to a double bed.
You see what I mean.
You have to increase your spacein order to grow.
It's important that you do thatfor yourself as an individual.

(01:11:09):
So personal development andthen you also do that for your
business business development.
You can't just develop thebusiness without yourself or
develop yourself without thebusiness.
So for us at Black Global, it'sabout looking at the holistic
way to make sure you get to yourglobal goals.
That's kind of what we do inBlack Global.

Speaker 1 (01:11:27):
Thanks so much, and where can people find you?
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
on the Internet.
You can go to Google.
If you type in my name, itcomes up.
Ooh, but anyway you can go toBlackGlobalcouk and we across
also should be there platformsas well, with a handle Black
Global.

Speaker 1 (01:11:44):
Awesome.
I'm going to put all the linksin the description as well, so
you can click on them.
Blessing, thank you so verymuch for coming on.
I knew this podcast would belong, but it's just full of so
many nuggets.
Thank you for opening yourselfup to us, and I know we're going
to do another part too, toreally look at the journey of

(01:12:07):
going deeper into how youactually navigated it.
Because, you know, I love it,because your business is called
Black Global.
You wanted that, you wanted tobe global and you are global.
You know, every time we ask,let's say we are.
You know, oh, I'm in Rwanda,I'm in Dubai, I'm here.

(01:12:28):
You know, it's just amazing tohave a desire and go for it.
So we're going to go into that.
You know, in a bit of detail interms of how you navigated that
path.
So, finally, can you give ourlisteners one final word of
wisdom?
You've given us so much, butjust give us something to take

(01:12:50):
away with finally.

Speaker 3 (01:12:52):
Okay, I think I'll repeat one of the ones I've said
before, which is, if you cannotget rid of the fear to do it,
do it afraid.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
Do it afraid.
Thank you so much.
The other thing I'm going toadd to that is I love that
analogy where you described youopened the door and said you
know what fear?
Come in and drive with us, butwe're still going, we are going
and that is doing it afraid.
The fear is coming along andit's coming with you.
The fear is not coming in andstopping you.

(01:13:25):
You're still driving, You'restill moving, and that's so
important.
Thank you so much, Dr Blessingand Akinmio.
It's such a joy to know you,it's such a joy to have worked
with you all these years.
And then, yeah, I am so pleasedthat you're in my space and I'm
in your space.
Thank you so very much.

(01:13:48):
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate you.
Thank you.
We've gotten to the end ofanother enlightening episode of
Lead to Excel podcast.
Thank you for spending yourvaluable time with us today
diving deep into the intriguingworld of neuroscience and
leadership.
Remember, the journey topersonal and professional

(01:14:10):
excellence is not a sprint, it'sa marathon, and every step, no
matter how small, brings youcloser to your goals.
If you found value in ourconversation today and its
packed insights or evenquestions, I invite you to share
your thoughts with us, Join ourcommunity on the MindSite

(01:14:32):
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Please also consider leaving usa review on Apple Podcasts,
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(01:14:56):
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Lastly, don't forget to hitthat subscribe button so you
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(01:15:17):
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Thank you once again for tuningin Until next time.
This is Morinchiana, remindingyou to keep exploring, keep
learning and keep leading, toexcel, Stay safe, stay motivated
and let's live a life of nolimitations because, after all,

(01:15:40):
you are limitless.

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Turning Stumbling Blocks to Stepping Stones: The Inspiring Journey of Dr. Blessing Enakimio - E93

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Turning Stumbling Blocks to Stepping Stones: The Inspiring Journey of Dr. Blessing Enakimio - E93