May 7, 2025 • 34 mins
In this episode, I unpack a powerful truth many avoid: sometimes, the delay we experience after prayer isn’t spiritual — it’s internal.
Using a blend of neuroscience, emotional intelligence, mindset, and scripture, she explores the hidden reasons we stay stuck, even when we’ve prayed, planned, and believed.
You’ll discover:
- Why procrastination is often rooted in fear, not laziness
- How emotional patterns and brain wiring sabotage answered prayers
- The impact of seeking validation and lacking support
- What the Bible teaches us about fear, resistance, and bold action
- And how to finally move — with faith and emotional alignment
This is for anyone who’s prayed for more, sensed God’s “yes,” but still can’t seem to step forward.
✨ Don’t just be inspired — be activated.
🎧 Tune in, take notes, and take action.
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Stay curious and empowered!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Lead to Excel podcast, where faith,
leadership, emotionalintelligence and neuroscience
meet.
I'm Maureen Chiana, your host,and I'm here to help you think
differently, lead boldly andlive intentionally.
If you're ready to unlock yourpotential and transform the way
(00:25):
you lead and live, you're in theright place.
Remember to subscribe to thispodcast so you never miss an
episode.
Let's dive in.
So what we're talking abouttoday is you prayed for a
breakthrough, so why are youstill stuck through?
(00:48):
So why are you still stuck?
So let's start with thisscenario or story.
So there's a moment I would saythat most people talk about,
and recently it's been coming upquite a bit.
Like I said, and I'll kind ofphrase it this way, it's just,
you know, kind of put yourselfin the position whereby you feel
the moment that you've beenpraying for finally shows up,
(01:09):
but you back away from it.
You open your inbox and see itthat opportunity you've been
fasting for, you've been cryingfor, you know, that opportunity
you've really been dreamingabout for so long.
For you, it might be aninvitation to speak at a
(01:30):
conference, it might be a joboffer, it might even be a door
opening for you in a part ofbusiness or in your business.
It could even be a divineconnection.
Even be a divine connection.
Your heart leaps, but then yourmind whispers am I really ready
(01:51):
for this?
What if I mess this up?
What if this is too much?
And what if it's too soon?
So, instead of saying yes, youthen say to yourself maybe later
.
You close the email, you scroll, you go back to what's safe,
(02:12):
and when you finally muster upthe courage to reply, the
opportunity has gone.
It wasn't the delay that shutthe door.
It wasn't even the hesitationor even the self-doubt.
It was the belief that you werenot yet enough.
So you didn't miss it becauseGod said no.
(02:34):
You missed it because fear saidnot yet, and the problem is,
you believed it.
So does this resonate with you?
If it does?
Just drop something in the chat?
What's the one thing thatyou've been avoiding?
Not because you feel you can'tdo it, but that fear, that
(02:59):
excuse, or where you findyourself making excuses.
One of the things I want us tolook at today is that internal
resistance that creates theseexcuses or that keeps you stuck.
When it feels like your prayersare not being answered, how
does it feel?
I would say, for me, the painreally feels real.
(03:22):
You know you feel some form ofpain or disappointment, but
sometimes the issue isn't aspiritual delay, it's emotional
disalignment, which is reallysomething that most people don't
think about or don't even knowabout and not aware about.
So you're praying for the nextlevel, but your mindset is still
(03:46):
tied to the last one, to theprevious one, to the past
experience you've had, or tothat bad experience you've had,
or to the hurt from a possiblyrelationship.
Your heart says I want more,but your nervous system says
more doesn't actually feel safe.
So here's what internalresistance can sound like, and I
(04:10):
want you to kind of think aboutwhat it sounds like to you or
what it comes up for you.
I'll move when I'm sure.
I'm just waiting forconfirmation.
I'm just waiting forconfirmation.
(04:33):
God will open the door whenit's time.
I'm not fully healed yet.
Proverbs 23, 7 says as a manthinketh in his heart, so is he.
So the way that you think isactually the way that you will
behave, is the way you will act.
It will come out in youractions and in your behavior.
So you might declarebreakthroughs with your mouth,
but if your subconscious brainstill feels unsafe, having that
(04:56):
thing, that you, thatbreakthrough you want, what you
will find is that your feet willmove.
You will not take actionsbecause when you have a thought
emotions it creates an emotionwhich then makes you carry out
an action.
So if the narrative is alreadya negative one, what your
(05:18):
emotional brain will then do isprevent you from taking the
action, because it will activateyour stress response, which
will then make you take theactions of a negative action
which could be holding back orfreezing.
So it's that flight, flight orfreeze mechanism.
So you find yourself notactually taking the actions you
want to take.
Instead, you're taking actionsin response to the negative
(05:42):
narrative that you've created.
So science tells us that ouremotional brain, which is known
as the limbic brain, leads ourdecisions.
So it's not logic necessarilythat drives us forward.
It's actually what feelsfamiliar that drives us forward.
It's because our subconsciousbrain is what drives about 90 to
(06:07):
95% of what we do.
It's that that's the familiarand that's what will then drive
your action.
So if fear, if rejection andplaying small are your emotional
home, if that's your safety, ifthat's what you've wired
yourself to focus on, progresswill then feel like danger.
(06:28):
So that thing that you actuallywant will be what you find
yourself holding back frombecause your brain has perceived
it as a danger.
Because what if you know thewhole concept of fear of failing
and we'll talk about that oreven fear of success as well.
So I want us to look at someblocks that can occur, and the
(06:52):
first one I want us to kind oftalk about is procrastination,
and I'll start by saying thatprocrastination is not laziness,
it's actually fear in disguise.
So you're not lazy, you'reliterally just protecting
(07:20):
yourself.
That thing that you keeppostponing.
It's not the task that's heavy,it's the narrative and emotions
attached to it that make itheavy.
So fear of failing, fear ofeven being seen, fear of being
understood, fear of succeedingand then losing it and I can
identify with that so muchbecause when I ran my business
(07:41):
this was going back about 20years ago and I had to close it,
to start this new business 10years ago was a huge.
My subconscious brain went intooverdrive.
What if you fail was one thing,but also what if you succeed
and then lose it, which is whathappened before and that almost
(08:03):
kept me stuck.
But you have to understand thisand be so self-alert and
self-aware that when thosenarratives come up, you then
change the narrative so that youcan then be in control to take
the actions that you want totake and not allow the fear of
those of the fears to overcomeyou.
(08:24):
So Ecclesiastes 11.4 sayswhoever watches the wind will
not plant.
Whoever looks at the cloudswill not reap.
So you keep waiting for perfectconditions, but the fact is
that perfect conditions nevercome.
(08:45):
You've got to step out.
You've got to take the action,in spite of how you feel, in
spite of the emotions.
You've got to take because theemotions are a response to what
is already wired in your brain.
But you want somethingdifferent.
So you've got to really pushbeyond the emotions and the
(09:05):
narrative.
That is saying stop and createthe new narrative that you want,
which will then so youremotions will eventually catch
up with that and then it becomeseasier for you.
But you've got to push beyondthe resistance.
So the key question to ask isnot why can't I do it?
(09:27):
The question to actually askyourself is what am I afraid
will happen if I do it?
That's a more powerful questionto ask, because once you answer
that, you can then deal withthat narrative by changing that
narrative, reframing thatnarrative, so that your
(09:49):
subconscious brain will thencatch up, because that's the
process of the rewiring, andthis is why I've created a space
call it a spirit-led spacewhere we grow through.
You know, going through allthis together.
So it's not just the knowing,but it's actually being able to
live it out, because, you see,you can have knowledge, which
(10:12):
you know, we can see from thistalk.
You know you're doing prayers,you know the scripture, you're
quoting it all but not takingthe action.
So you gain the knowledge butalso gain the skills to take the
actions.
And that's the MindsightWomen's Network.
So it's a place where we do theinner work with faith, using
neuroscience, emotionalintelligence and real community.
(10:37):
So I'll share more about it atthe end, but if this is speaking
to you, then this space isreally for you, but I'll talk
about it later.
So I want us now to look atanother block.
But please remember, subscribeif you still haven't subscribed
and share.
The other thing I'll look at iswhen you tell yourself that I
(10:59):
need a sign, but the fact isthat you have already got a sign
.
So you've prayed, god hasshowed you what to do, and
possibly God might havewhispered through a conversation
, even through an opportunity oreven a moment, but you're still
waiting for something louder,something bigger, maybe a neon
(11:23):
sign.
So you stay, still thinking itisn't clear yet.
I need more clarity, I needmore information.
But what if the lack of clarityisn't God's delay?
What if it's your fear,pretending to be wisdom, which
is exactly what fear does?
(11:44):
It disguises as wisdom and webelieve it.
Galatians 1.10 says am I nowtrying to please people or God?
Because many people wantconfirmation from others before
they obey God.
But purpose doesn't always comewith an applause and when you
(12:09):
really think about it, peoplecan only give you knowledge or
give information based on whatthey know.
But if you have received theword, if you know within you and
that this is what you're meantto be doing now, then go for it.
Stop relying on other people.
(12:29):
Science shows us that when wedon't get validation, our
dopamine drops, and that deepcan actually feel like rejection
, even if God, you know, hasalready said to you yes.
But because you don't get thevalidation, your dopamine drops.
(12:50):
And I've told this story beforehow, when I wanted to start the
academy, which is the MindsightAcademy, just about 2018, I was
preparing, you know, reallyworking, really excited, because
I knew that this was what Godhad told me to do.
And someone said to me now,people don't want to go online.
People don't want to go online,they want in-person.
(13:12):
And that literally froze me.
For weeks, I couldn't even workon the academy, and it's just.
I just listened to the voice ofGod.
One day say who are youlistening to, human or myself?
I've told you to do it andyou're listening to other people
.
And that's when I literallyrepented and got back and
created it, and that was 2018.
(13:34):
And then 2020, everyone wasonline.
Do you see what I mean?
So we need to really payattention to what God is telling
us, find out exactly whatyou're meant to be doing now.
And I go through a lot of thisin the Mindsight Women's Network
, where we're just coming to theend of that program RISE, where
we actually dig deep intounderstanding what our goals are
(13:59):
, what our passions are, whatour purpose is and what our
values are, understanding whatGod has called us to do and
learning to take the rightaction in spite of the
narratives internal narrativesor external narratives that try
to hold us back.
So don't let the absence ofapplause keep you from
(14:20):
responding to what you've beencalled to do.
Now look at another block,which is when you're waiting for
other people to support you.
So you probably thought youwould get help, or you thought
that they would help.
You thought that they wouldshow up, you thought that they
(14:41):
would support you, maybe in thisnew venture that you're going
on or this new big step that youwant to take, but instead you
get silence.
You're asking yourself thequestion if my own friends or
family won't even support me orcheer me on.
Maybe this dream isn't real.
(15:02):
But let's take a look and kindof go back to David.
Samuel came to anoint the nextking and Jesse, david's own
father, didn't even invite himinto the room, but God still
sent for him.
So, even if your family, even ifyour friends, even if people
(15:27):
around you don't support yourdream or your vision, but you
know that this is what God hasasked you to do, please hold on
to what God has asked you to do.
Psalm 27, 10 says though myfather and mother may forsake me
, the Lord will receive me.
(15:48):
Forsake me, the Lord willreceive me.
So if you're waiting forsupport, for people to validate
your calling, you will stay indelay or you will literally stay
frozen or stuck for a long timebecause the vision you've
gotten, or the vision you see,they don't see it.
And most times when you focusand continue doing what you've
(16:10):
been called to do and you findthat things you know, you start
getting successful.
Those people that didn'tsupport you before will then
start supporting you.
So it's important to just payattention to what God has called
you to do, that thing you'veprayed for, and you know that.
See, this is what God has askedme to do.
Move ahead and do it.
(16:31):
Their silence or people'ssilence isn't proof that you're
wrong.
It's the space God uses tostrengthen your inner yes.
When they're keeping silent orwhen they're critiquing or
saying this is not what youshould be doing.
That space, use it.
You know that's the space thatGod is actually strengthening so
(16:52):
that you can actually tellyourself yes.
So even when they're saying no,you're able to tell yourself
yes.
So my question to you now is hassomeone's silence or lack of
support made you second guessyourself?
Silence or lack of support madeyou second guess yourself.
(17:15):
So let me continue on to thenext block that we'll look at,
and I call this when your mouthsays yes, but your brain and
heart are saying no.
So you're kind of saying toyourself this is my year, I'm
stepping out, god has more forme.
This is my year.
I'm stepping out, god has morefor me.
(17:35):
But inside you feel I'm notready, I don't want to be seen.
What if I mess it all up?
That's called emotionaldissonance.
When your emotions anddeclarations don't agree, your
actions will side with youremotions every single time.
Because, remember I said, whenyou have a thought, it creates
(17:59):
an emotion and it's this emotionthat makes you carry out the
action.
Also, the subconscious brain,which is where memory is stored,
is more powerful than theconscious brain, so that, even
though in your mouth you'reactually saying this is my year,
this is the year of jubilee,this is my year of victory, this
is my year, but in yoursubconscious what is already
(18:23):
wired is that fear, thatwondering what if I mess up?
I don't, you know, I don'treally want to be seen, I'm not
ready yet.
I need to do a bit more, I needto heal more, I need to gain
more knowledge.
Then you know, that's where thedissonance comes in and what
(18:43):
takes really permanence is thewiring.
It's that subconscious, it'sthose things, that narrative,
and that's where you find thatyou don't do what you want to do
.
There's someone I was coaching afew years ago very, very
excellent in the role that shewas doing and a new role came up
(19:03):
and she called me and told meabout this role and I was so
excited.
I said, yeah, you're going forit, aren't you?
She said, oh, not yet.
And they said, of course I.
And I was so excited.
I said, yeah, you're going forit, aren't you?
She said, oh, not yet.
And they said course I want todo.
And I said what?
You're not doing?
Any more courses, you're goingfor this.
And you could see immediatelythat.
You see what the subconsciousbrain was doing, because she had
told you that fear of what if Ifailed, if I?
When we said it, when I startedprobing further the, the fear
(19:27):
for her was what if I?
What if I actually get the joband fail in the role was her
biggest worry.
And because of that, the brainthen starts coming up with the
narrative maybe go and doanother course to get you more
equipped.
Anyway, the long and short is,she did go for that job, she did
get that job and she thrived somuch in that job she's now gone
(19:50):
into a higher role.
So we need to really payattention to what our brain is
telling us, so that it and askthe question is this real or is
this false?
Proverbs 4.23 says guard yourheart, for everything you do
flows from it.
Your brain literally reactsemotionally before your thoughts
(20:15):
can even catch up.
So if your past experienceshave linked success with fear,
pressure or rejection, then yoursubconscious will try to
protect you.
Not because there's somethingwrong with you necessarily no
but because your brain thinksunfamiliar means unsafe, because
(20:38):
you've made that connection.
So if you're finding thishelpful, I would love you to get
my book Rewire your Brain withNeuroscience and Scripture Every
Day.
Get it from Amazon or fromanywhere where you buy your
books.
Everything I'm talking abouttoday is here, honestly
(21:00):
everything, and it's in bitesize.
So it's daily, it's dailycontent and it's just one day,
one page a day.
It's really fantastic.
So you've got so manyopportunities to really ensure
that you constantly are rewiringyour brain.
Take them, use them, becausethe Bible has given you know,
(21:22):
even tells us to gain knowledgeas well.
Gain knowledge, and it's soimportant and get support as
well.
So I'm going to look at anotherblock, and this one is, you're
still trying to control theoutcome.
And this example is like you'veasked God to move, you've
(21:42):
prayed and he's answered, butnow you want to know exactly how
it will unfold, you know.
So you're praying and you knowthe Bible says it when we pray
we should believe, when we seethat we shall have it.
And it says when we pray, heanswers our prayers.
But then you're there kind ofgoing yeah, but I want to know
how this?
(22:03):
I want to know the steps.
I want to know all the steps.
Give me every confirmation,tell me that it won't hurt.
I want to know all the steps.
Give me every confirmation,tell me that it won't hurt.
And I say that that's not trust, that's control.
And the problem in doing thatis that you become focused on
that.
So you're focusing on.
I want to know the steps.
I want to know, you know, Iwant to make sure that it won't
(22:25):
hurt me.
As you focus on those things,you're missing the opportunities
or the answer to your prayers,because there's a saying what
you focus on expands.
Basically, whatever you focuson is where your brain would
keep leading you to that.
And I've given the example andyou probably cannot relate to
(22:46):
this when I wanted to buy a carI was only to buy a BMW got to
the garage and there was a Hondagarage across the road and I
went in there to look at Hondasand I went, oh, I quite fancy a
Honda Civic, and of course I'venot really seen many in the UK
and when we left I didn't buythe car that day.
(23:07):
But when we left on the drivehome, which was about 40 minutes
drive, honestly I probably sawabout 20 Honda Civics.
So, and I was thinking tomyself, where did all these
Honda Civics come from?
They were always there, butbecause I never really focused
on them, I didn't see them.
But they were there.
(23:28):
And that's exactly how thebrain works.
So those things you're focusingon are the things you will see,
and then you end up missing theactual opportunity or answer to
your prayers.
Proverbs 3, 5, 6 says trust inthe Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your ownunderstanding.
(23:49):
So we've got to let go.
Faith doesn't mean that youwill never feel fear.
It means that you choose tomove forward even when fear
shows up.
Scripture says do not fear, notbecause fear won't come, but
because you don't have to let itlead and also because we can
(24:14):
overcome fear.
We can move in spite of fear.
So we learn to walk in peace,even when the plan isn't clear,
and God really shows us the fullmap.
Anyway, he gives us the nextstep and then asks us will you
trust me with the rest?
And we've just got to do that.
So what are you still trying tocontrol instead of trusting God
(24:41):
?
And I want you to reallyreflect on this for your own
self.
So when you stay in hesitation,the effects aren't just
emotional, they're neurological,they're spiritual and practical
.
So let's look at some of thepoints here.
So your brain begins to wire foravoidance.
You know, when you find thatyour brain is wiring for
(25:03):
avoidance and this can come fromexperiences, so you've had an
experience and you then findthat you don't want to, you know
, repeat the same experience itcould even be rejection.
It could be that fear ofrejection, it could be fear of
failure.
It could be fear of failure, itcould be fear of, you know,
fear of succeeding and losing,like I've explained previously.
But your brain begins to wirefor avoidance and with
(25:27):
everything I always say, ask thequestion why?
Why am I feeling this way?
Why am I having this thoughtand then so that you can reframe
it, because what you then findis that when your brain begins
to wire for avoidance, what ishappening is that it's
reinforcing fear pathwaysinstead of growth and resilience
(25:48):
.
The other thing is, your claritycan also weaken.
When you stay in hesitation,you find that your clarity can
also weaken Decision.
Fatigue sets in and what oncefelt clear becomes confusing.
Another station is yourinternal motivation starts to
fade, and this really is whendopamine is no longer activated
(26:12):
by vision.
So even small steps startfeeling heavy, because then,
when the dopamine startsdropping, then even taking small
steps start feeling heavy,because then, when the dopamine
starts dropping, then eventaking small steps, even taking
small actions, becomes so heavy.
And that is when you startfinding yourself making excuses
or even sabotaging yourself whenopportunities are missed, not
(26:34):
because you were not called ornot because God hasn't called
you, but because you did notrespond on time.
And then the question is whyand that could be all these
fears, all these blocks, allthese concerns.
So it's really paying attentionto this.
The other thing is you loseconfidence in yourself.
The longer you delay you findthat, the more you believe that
(26:59):
you're not capable, because it'sthat self perpetuating
confirmation in the brain.
You're delaying it and thenyou're telling yourself I'm not
ready and the next thing yourbrain is telling you you're not.
You're not really.
Is this really for you?
Is this really for me?
I'm not really.
This is not.
I'm not cut out for this.
Someone said to me once I'm notcut out to be a leader.
Not really, this is not, I'mnot cut out for this.
(27:20):
Someone said to me once I'm notcut out to be a leader, you
know, but God has called youinto a leadership role and the
fact is that we're all leaders.
God has called us all to beleaders at different capacities
and different ways.
So we just need to you know,change that narrative, because I
can do all things throughChrist, who strengthens me.
He's given us the ability to belimitless.
And also you start finding thatothers move forward not because
(27:45):
they are more gifted, butbecause they chose action over
perfection.
And this is where reallyunderstanding the wiring, how
you've currently wired yourbrain, is so important.
Because I always say, if you'vewired that frontal left part of
the brain which we see in theprison brain mapping diagnostic,
you find that actually, if youactivate that part, if you wire
(28:07):
it so highly, you find that whatactually was a good thing,
where you're being veryanalytical, really being paying
attention to detail, can thentrip you into being a
perfectionist.
That then makes you to be, youknow, in action.
Where you then experienceaction paralysis, you then
actually don't take the actions.
(28:28):
So inaction has a cost, whichis, you know, neurological cost,
emotional cost, spiritual cost,and it compounds over time.
And that's why I like thatJames 2.17 that says faith
without works is dead.
So we've just got to push, youknow, really change the
narrative and just start takingthe actions, in spite of the
(28:52):
emotions that we're feeling.
God isn't just waiting on ourworship, he's waiting on our
walk.
We need to take the steps,because it's when you take the
steps your brain then followsthrough.
That subconscious brain willthen follow through and, even if
it's still resisting, keepanswering the questions it
(29:13):
brings up.
You're not good enough?
No, the Bible, god, says that Iam good enough, I am more than
able.
Use scripture to really wire.
Don't just use words lose, kindof very vaguely.
Use them with conviction,understanding the truth behind
those words, because that iswhat would then enable you
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create the emotional motivationand release the right
neurochemicals to help you carryout the actions that you need
to carry out.
So my final word is you're notwaiting on God, he's waiting on
you.
You've prayed, you've fasted,you've asked for confirmation,
(29:58):
but what if that silence is Godsaying I've already answered.
Now move.
This isn't punishment, it's aninvitation.
The door is open, theconfirmation is complete and
your moment is now.
You're not behind, you're beinginvited to align.
(30:21):
So take that step, start thatthing, say yes again and just
move.
Take the action you need totake.
Whether it's getting support,whatever it is, do it.
Whether it's starting abusiness, do it, but take the
action.
(30:41):
And before we wrap up, I justwant to take a moment to invite
you to go deeper.
So if today's message has saidsomething in you, or if you're
tired of cycling that samemountain, feeling stuck or
wondering how to break through,you know how to break through.
You know how to break throughthe invisible wall, how to break
through the barriers, whateverthat might be for you.
(31:05):
There are a few ways that Iwould love to support you.
First, if you're a womanlooking for a place to grow, not
just in knowledge, like I saidearlier, but in identity, in
leadership, in faith.
I want to invite you to join usin Mindsight Women's Network.
It's an online community.
(31:25):
I created this forpurpose-driven women.
We combine scripture, wecombine neuroscience and
emotional intelligence in a waythat's practical, powerful and
spirit-filled, and you don'thave to figure this all out
alone.
Come and join us.
There are links in thedescription.
Secondly, don't forget Imentioned the book.
(31:48):
Grab your copy of Rewire yourBrain with Neuroscience and
Scripture Every Day.
This book can be your ownpersonal coach.
Basically, if you don't want tojoin the community, if you
don't want to have one-to-onecoaching, get this book.
This will be your own personalcoach.
Basically, if you don't want tojoin the community, if you
don't want to have one-to-onecoaching, get this book.
This will be your personalcoach.
It's truly, trulytransformational and it's
changing lives.
Every day, people are callingme and telling me how it's
(32:10):
really impacted their lives.
It's amazing.
So get the book.
And then, finally, if you'reready for a more personal
breakthrough maybe you'renavigating leadership, a
decision, or you just feeloverwhelmed please do book a
one-to-one call.
Let's have a chat.
We'll discuss what's keepingyou stuck and map out your next
(32:31):
move with clarity and confidence.
And all the links are in thedescription below.
A lot of times we look at thingsso superficially, but
understanding the science,understanding what's inside, you
know, I always say the brain isthe one organ we don't see, so
we kind of ignore, but it's theone, it's the most important one
that we need to understand sothat you truly understand how to
(32:57):
use it to your benefit and itwill help you to really progress
.
You know faster, you trulyunderstand how to use it to your
benefit and it will help you toreally progress faster.
So if you've got questions oryou want to know more, please
reach out and love to reallysupport you, and I wish everyone
a fantastic, most blessed May.
So go and really thrive.
(33:19):
That thing you've been puttingoff, that thing you've been
resisting, that prayer that Godhas already answered.
Please start taking those stepsthat you need to do.
Ask him the question and justmove forward.
Get all the support you need,but get it from the right people
.
Thank you for tuning in to Leadto Excel podcast with me,
maureen Chiana.
I hope today's episode inspiredand equipped you to renew your
(33:44):
mind and lead with purpose.
If it did, please you rememberto subscribe, share with someone
who needs it and leave a review.
It really helps more peoplediscover this message.
Remember you are created tosoar higher.
Think boldly and liveintentionally.
Until next time, stay focused,stay faith-filled and keep
(34:09):
becoming all God designed you tobe.
See you in the next episode.
Bye for now.
Welcome to the Lead to Excel podcast, where faith,
leadership, emotionalintelligence and neuroscience
meet.
I'm Maureen Chiana, your host,and I'm here to help you think
differently, lead boldly andlive intentionally.
If you're ready to unlock yourpotential and transform the way
(00:25):
you lead and live, you're in theright place.
Remember to subscribe to thispodcast so you never miss an
episode.
Let's dive in.
So what we're talking abouttoday is you prayed for a
breakthrough, so why are youstill stuck through?
(00:48):
So why are you still stuck?
So let's start with thisscenario or story.
So there's a moment I would saythat most people talk about,
and recently it's been coming upquite a bit.
Like I said, and I'll kind ofphrase it this way, it's just,
you know, kind of put yourselfin the position whereby you feel
the moment that you've beenpraying for finally shows up,
(01:09):
but you back away from it.
You open your inbox and see itthat opportunity you've been
fasting for, you've been cryingfor, you know, that opportunity
you've really been dreamingabout for so long.
For you, it might be aninvitation to speak at a
(01:30):
conference, it might be a joboffer, it might even be a door
opening for you in a part ofbusiness or in your business.
It could even be a divineconnection.
Even be a divine connection.
Your heart leaps, but then yourmind whispers am I really ready
(01:51):
for this?
What if I mess this up?
What if this is too much?
And what if it's too soon?
So, instead of saying yes, youthen say to yourself maybe later
.
You close the email, you scroll, you go back to what's safe,
(02:12):
and when you finally muster upthe courage to reply, the
opportunity has gone.
It wasn't the delay that shutthe door.
It wasn't even the hesitationor even the self-doubt.
It was the belief that you werenot yet enough.
So you didn't miss it becauseGod said no.
(02:34):
You missed it because fear saidnot yet, and the problem is,
you believed it.
So does this resonate with you?
If it does?
Just drop something in the chat?
What's the one thing thatyou've been avoiding?
Not because you feel you can'tdo it, but that fear, that
(02:59):
excuse, or where you findyourself making excuses.
One of the things I want us tolook at today is that internal
resistance that creates theseexcuses or that keeps you stuck.
When it feels like your prayersare not being answered, how
does it feel?
I would say, for me, the painreally feels real.
(03:22):
You know you feel some form ofpain or disappointment, but
sometimes the issue isn't aspiritual delay, it's emotional
disalignment, which is reallysomething that most people don't
think about or don't even knowabout and not aware about.
So you're praying for the nextlevel, but your mindset is still
(03:46):
tied to the last one, to theprevious one, to the past
experience you've had, or tothat bad experience you've had,
or to the hurt from a possiblyrelationship.
Your heart says I want more,but your nervous system says
more doesn't actually feel safe.
So here's what internalresistance can sound like, and I
(04:10):
want you to kind of think aboutwhat it sounds like to you or
what it comes up for you.
I'll move when I'm sure.
I'm just waiting forconfirmation.
I'm just waiting forconfirmation.
(04:33):
God will open the door whenit's time.
I'm not fully healed yet.
Proverbs 23, 7 says as a manthinketh in his heart, so is he.
So the way that you think isactually the way that you will
behave, is the way you will act.
It will come out in youractions and in your behavior.
So you might declarebreakthroughs with your mouth,
but if your subconscious brainstill feels unsafe, having that
(04:56):
thing, that you, thatbreakthrough you want, what you
will find is that your feet willmove.
You will not take actionsbecause when you have a thought
emotions it creates an emotionwhich then makes you carry out
an action.
So if the narrative is alreadya negative one, what your
(05:18):
emotional brain will then do isprevent you from taking the
action, because it will activateyour stress response, which
will then make you take theactions of a negative action
which could be holding back orfreezing.
So it's that flight, flight orfreeze mechanism.
So you find yourself notactually taking the actions you
want to take.
Instead, you're taking actionsin response to the negative
(05:42):
narrative that you've created.
So science tells us that ouremotional brain, which is known
as the limbic brain, leads ourdecisions.
So it's not logic necessarilythat drives us forward.
It's actually what feelsfamiliar that drives us forward.
It's because our subconsciousbrain is what drives about 90 to
(06:07):
95% of what we do.
It's that that's the familiarand that's what will then drive
your action.
So if fear, if rejection andplaying small are your emotional
home, if that's your safety, ifthat's what you've wired
yourself to focus on, progresswill then feel like danger.
(06:28):
So that thing that you actuallywant will be what you find
yourself holding back frombecause your brain has perceived
it as a danger.
Because what if you know thewhole concept of fear of failing
and we'll talk about that oreven fear of success as well.
So I want us to look at someblocks that can occur, and the
(06:52):
first one I want us to kind oftalk about is procrastination,
and I'll start by saying thatprocrastination is not laziness,
it's actually fear in disguise.
So you're not lazy, you'reliterally just protecting
(07:20):
yourself.
That thing that you keeppostponing.
It's not the task that's heavy,it's the narrative and emotions
attached to it that make itheavy.
So fear of failing, fear ofeven being seen, fear of being
understood, fear of succeedingand then losing it and I can
identify with that so muchbecause when I ran my business
(07:41):
this was going back about 20years ago and I had to close it,
to start this new business 10years ago was a huge.
My subconscious brain went intooverdrive.
What if you fail was one thing,but also what if you succeed
and then lose it, which is whathappened before and that almost
(08:03):
kept me stuck.
But you have to understand thisand be so self-alert and
self-aware that when thosenarratives come up, you then
change the narrative so that youcan then be in control to take
the actions that you want totake and not allow the fear of
those of the fears to overcomeyou.
(08:24):
So Ecclesiastes 11.4 sayswhoever watches the wind will
not plant.
Whoever looks at the cloudswill not reap.
So you keep waiting for perfectconditions, but the fact is
that perfect conditions nevercome.
(08:45):
You've got to step out.
You've got to take the action,in spite of how you feel, in
spite of the emotions.
You've got to take because theemotions are a response to what
is already wired in your brain.
But you want somethingdifferent.
So you've got to really pushbeyond the emotions and the
(09:05):
narrative.
That is saying stop and createthe new narrative that you want,
which will then so youremotions will eventually catch
up with that and then it becomeseasier for you.
But you've got to push beyondthe resistance.
So the key question to ask isnot why can't I do it?
(09:27):
The question to actually askyourself is what am I afraid
will happen if I do it?
That's a more powerful questionto ask, because once you answer
that, you can then deal withthat narrative by changing that
narrative, reframing thatnarrative, so that your
(09:49):
subconscious brain will thencatch up, because that's the
process of the rewiring, andthis is why I've created a space
call it a spirit-led spacewhere we grow through.
You know, going through allthis together.
So it's not just the knowing,but it's actually being able to
live it out, because, you see,you can have knowledge, which
(10:12):
you know, we can see from thistalk.
You know you're doing prayers,you know the scripture, you're
quoting it all but not takingthe action.
So you gain the knowledge butalso gain the skills to take the
actions.
And that's the MindsightWomen's Network.
So it's a place where we do theinner work with faith, using
neuroscience, emotionalintelligence and real community.
(10:37):
So I'll share more about it atthe end, but if this is speaking
to you, then this space isreally for you, but I'll talk
about it later.
So I want us now to look atanother block.
But please remember, subscribeif you still haven't subscribed
and share.
The other thing I'll look at iswhen you tell yourself that I
(10:59):
need a sign, but the fact isthat you have already got a sign
.
So you've prayed, god hasshowed you what to do, and
possibly God might havewhispered through a conversation
, even through an opportunity oreven a moment, but you're still
waiting for something louder,something bigger, maybe a neon
(11:23):
sign.
So you stay, still thinking itisn't clear yet.
I need more clarity, I needmore information.
But what if the lack of clarityisn't God's delay?
What if it's your fear,pretending to be wisdom, which
is exactly what fear does?
(11:44):
It disguises as wisdom and webelieve it.
Galatians 1.10 says am I nowtrying to please people or God?
Because many people wantconfirmation from others before
they obey God.
But purpose doesn't always comewith an applause and when you
(12:09):
really think about it, peoplecan only give you knowledge or
give information based on whatthey know.
But if you have received theword, if you know within you and
that this is what you're meantto be doing now, then go for it.
Stop relying on other people.
(12:29):
Science shows us that when wedon't get validation, our
dopamine drops, and that deepcan actually feel like rejection
, even if God, you know, hasalready said to you yes.
But because you don't get thevalidation, your dopamine drops.
(12:50):
And I've told this story beforehow, when I wanted to start the
academy, which is the MindsightAcademy, just about 2018, I was
preparing, you know, reallyworking, really excited, because
I knew that this was what Godhad told me to do.
And someone said to me now,people don't want to go online.
People don't want to go online,they want in-person.
(13:12):
And that literally froze me.
For weeks, I couldn't even workon the academy, and it's just.
I just listened to the voice ofGod.
One day say who are youlistening to, human or myself?
I've told you to do it andyou're listening to other people
.
And that's when I literallyrepented and got back and
created it, and that was 2018.
(13:34):
And then 2020, everyone wasonline.
Do you see what I mean?
So we need to really payattention to what God is telling
us, find out exactly whatyou're meant to be doing now.
And I go through a lot of thisin the Mindsight Women's Network
, where we're just coming to theend of that program RISE, where
we actually dig deep intounderstanding what our goals are
(13:59):
, what our passions are, whatour purpose is and what our
values are, understanding whatGod has called us to do and
learning to take the rightaction in spite of the
narratives internal narrativesor external narratives that try
to hold us back.
So don't let the absence ofapplause keep you from
(14:20):
responding to what you've beencalled to do.
Now look at another block,which is when you're waiting for
other people to support you.
So you probably thought youwould get help, or you thought
that they would help.
You thought that they wouldshow up, you thought that they
(14:41):
would support you, maybe in thisnew venture that you're going
on or this new big step that youwant to take, but instead you
get silence.
You're asking yourself thequestion if my own friends or
family won't even support me orcheer me on.
Maybe this dream isn't real.
(15:02):
But let's take a look and kindof go back to David.
Samuel came to anoint the nextking and Jesse, david's own
father, didn't even invite himinto the room, but God still
sent for him.
So, even if your family, even ifyour friends, even if people
(15:27):
around you don't support yourdream or your vision, but you
know that this is what God hasasked you to do, please hold on
to what God has asked you to do.
Psalm 27, 10 says though myfather and mother may forsake me
, the Lord will receive me.
(15:48):
Forsake me, the Lord willreceive me.
So if you're waiting forsupport, for people to validate
your calling, you will stay indelay or you will literally stay
frozen or stuck for a long timebecause the vision you've
gotten, or the vision you see,they don't see it.
And most times when you focusand continue doing what you've
(16:10):
been called to do and you findthat things you know, you start
getting successful.
Those people that didn'tsupport you before will then
start supporting you.
So it's important to just payattention to what God has called
you to do, that thing you'veprayed for, and you know that.
See, this is what God has askedme to do.
Move ahead and do it.
(16:31):
Their silence or people'ssilence isn't proof that you're
wrong.
It's the space God uses tostrengthen your inner yes.
When they're keeping silent orwhen they're critiquing or
saying this is not what youshould be doing.
That space, use it.
You know that's the space thatGod is actually strengthening so
(16:52):
that you can actually tellyourself yes.
So even when they're saying no,you're able to tell yourself
yes.
So my question to you now is hassomeone's silence or lack of
support made you second guessyourself?
Silence or lack of support madeyou second guess yourself.
(17:15):
So let me continue on to thenext block that we'll look at,
and I call this when your mouthsays yes, but your brain and
heart are saying no.
So you're kind of saying toyourself this is my year, I'm
stepping out, god has more forme.
This is my year.
I'm stepping out, god has morefor me.
(17:35):
But inside you feel I'm notready, I don't want to be seen.
What if I mess it all up?
That's called emotionaldissonance.
When your emotions anddeclarations don't agree, your
actions will side with youremotions every single time.
Because, remember I said, whenyou have a thought, it creates
(17:59):
an emotion and it's this emotionthat makes you carry out the
action.
Also, the subconscious brain,which is where memory is stored,
is more powerful than theconscious brain, so that, even
though in your mouth you'reactually saying this is my year,
this is the year of jubilee,this is my year of victory, this
is my year, but in yoursubconscious what is already
(18:23):
wired is that fear, thatwondering what if I mess up?
I don't, you know, I don'treally want to be seen, I'm not
ready yet.
I need to do a bit more, I needto heal more, I need to gain
more knowledge.
Then you know, that's where thedissonance comes in and what
(18:43):
takes really permanence is thewiring.
It's that subconscious, it'sthose things, that narrative,
and that's where you find thatyou don't do what you want to do
.
There's someone I was coaching afew years ago very, very
excellent in the role that shewas doing and a new role came up
(19:03):
and she called me and told meabout this role and I was so
excited.
I said, yeah, you're going forit, aren't you?
She said, oh, not yet.
And they said, of course I.
And I was so excited.
I said, yeah, you're going forit, aren't you?
She said, oh, not yet.
And they said course I want todo.
And I said what?
You're not doing?
Any more courses, you're goingfor this.
And you could see immediatelythat.
You see what the subconsciousbrain was doing, because she had
told you that fear of what if Ifailed, if I?
When we said it, when I startedprobing further the, the fear
(19:27):
for her was what if I?
What if I actually get the joband fail in the role was her
biggest worry.
And because of that, the brainthen starts coming up with the
narrative maybe go and doanother course to get you more
equipped.
Anyway, the long and short is,she did go for that job, she did
get that job and she thrived somuch in that job she's now gone
(19:50):
into a higher role.
So we need to really payattention to what our brain is
telling us, so that it and askthe question is this real or is
this false?
Proverbs 4.23 says guard yourheart, for everything you do
flows from it.
Your brain literally reactsemotionally before your thoughts
(20:15):
can even catch up.
So if your past experienceshave linked success with fear,
pressure or rejection, then yoursubconscious will try to
protect you.
Not because there's somethingwrong with you necessarily no
but because your brain thinksunfamiliar means unsafe, because
(20:38):
you've made that connection.
So if you're finding thishelpful, I would love you to get
my book Rewire your Brain withNeuroscience and Scripture Every
Day.
Get it from Amazon or fromanywhere where you buy your
books.
Everything I'm talking abouttoday is here, honestly
(21:00):
everything, and it's in bitesize.
So it's daily, it's dailycontent and it's just one day,
one page a day.
It's really fantastic.
So you've got so manyopportunities to really ensure
that you constantly are rewiringyour brain.
Take them, use them, becausethe Bible has given you know,
(21:22):
even tells us to gain knowledgeas well.
Gain knowledge, and it's soimportant and get support as
well.
So I'm going to look at anotherblock, and this one is, you're
still trying to control theoutcome.
And this example is like you'veasked God to move, you've
(21:42):
prayed and he's answered, butnow you want to know exactly how
it will unfold, you know.
So you're praying and you knowthe Bible says it when we pray
we should believe, when we seethat we shall have it.
And it says when we pray, heanswers our prayers.
But then you're there kind ofgoing yeah, but I want to know
how this?
(22:03):
I want to know the steps.
I want to know all the steps.
Give me every confirmation,tell me that it won't hurt.
I want to know all the steps.
Give me every confirmation,tell me that it won't hurt.
And I say that that's not trust, that's control.
And the problem in doing thatis that you become focused on
that.
So you're focusing on.
I want to know the steps.
I want to know, you know, Iwant to make sure that it won't
(22:25):
hurt me.
As you focus on those things,you're missing the opportunities
or the answer to your prayers,because there's a saying what
you focus on expands.
Basically, whatever you focuson is where your brain would
keep leading you to that.
And I've given the example andyou probably cannot relate to
(22:46):
this when I wanted to buy a carI was only to buy a BMW got to
the garage and there was a Hondagarage across the road and I
went in there to look at Hondasand I went, oh, I quite fancy a
Honda Civic, and of course I'venot really seen many in the UK
and when we left I didn't buythe car that day.
(23:07):
But when we left on the drivehome, which was about 40 minutes
drive, honestly I probably sawabout 20 Honda Civics.
So, and I was thinking tomyself, where did all these
Honda Civics come from?
They were always there, butbecause I never really focused
on them, I didn't see them.
But they were there.
(23:28):
And that's exactly how thebrain works.
So those things you're focusingon are the things you will see,
and then you end up missing theactual opportunity or answer to
your prayers.
Proverbs 3, 5, 6 says trust inthe Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your ownunderstanding.
(23:49):
So we've got to let go.
Faith doesn't mean that youwill never feel fear.
It means that you choose tomove forward even when fear
shows up.
Scripture says do not fear, notbecause fear won't come, but
because you don't have to let itlead and also because we can
(24:14):
overcome fear.
We can move in spite of fear.
So we learn to walk in peace,even when the plan isn't clear,
and God really shows us the fullmap.
Anyway, he gives us the nextstep and then asks us will you
trust me with the rest?
And we've just got to do that.
So what are you still trying tocontrol instead of trusting God
(24:41):
?
And I want you to reallyreflect on this for your own
self.
So when you stay in hesitation,the effects aren't just
emotional, they're neurological,they're spiritual and practical
.
So let's look at some of thepoints here.
So your brain begins to wire foravoidance.
You know, when you find thatyour brain is wiring for
(25:03):
avoidance and this can come fromexperiences, so you've had an
experience and you then findthat you don't want to, you know
, repeat the same experience itcould even be rejection.
It could be that fear ofrejection, it could be fear of
failure.
It could be fear of failure, itcould be fear of, you know,
fear of succeeding and losing,like I've explained previously.
But your brain begins to wirefor avoidance and with
(25:27):
everything I always say, ask thequestion why?
Why am I feeling this way?
Why am I having this thoughtand then so that you can reframe
it, because what you then findis that when your brain begins
to wire for avoidance, what ishappening is that it's
reinforcing fear pathwaysinstead of growth and resilience
(25:48):
.
The other thing is, your claritycan also weaken.
When you stay in hesitation,you find that your clarity can
also weaken Decision.
Fatigue sets in and what oncefelt clear becomes confusing.
Another station is yourinternal motivation starts to
fade, and this really is whendopamine is no longer activated
(26:12):
by vision.
So even small steps startfeeling heavy, because then,
when the dopamine startsdropping, then even taking small
steps start feeling heavy,because then, when the dopamine
starts dropping, then eventaking small steps, even taking
small actions, becomes so heavy.
And that is when you startfinding yourself making excuses
or even sabotaging yourself whenopportunities are missed, not
(26:34):
because you were not called ornot because God hasn't called
you, but because you did notrespond on time.
And then the question is whyand that could be all these
fears, all these blocks, allthese concerns.
So it's really paying attentionto this.
The other thing is you loseconfidence in yourself.
The longer you delay you findthat, the more you believe that
(26:59):
you're not capable, because it'sthat self perpetuating
confirmation in the brain.
You're delaying it and thenyou're telling yourself I'm not
ready and the next thing yourbrain is telling you you're not.
You're not really.
Is this really for you?
Is this really for me?
I'm not really.
This is not.
I'm not cut out for this.
Someone said to me once I'm notcut out to be a leader.
Not really, this is not, I'mnot cut out for this.
(27:20):
Someone said to me once I'm notcut out to be a leader, you
know, but God has called youinto a leadership role and the
fact is that we're all leaders.
God has called us all to beleaders at different capacities
and different ways.
So we just need to you know,change that narrative, because I
can do all things throughChrist, who strengthens me.
He's given us the ability to belimitless.
And also you start finding thatothers move forward not because
(27:45):
they are more gifted, butbecause they chose action over
perfection.
And this is where reallyunderstanding the wiring, how
you've currently wired yourbrain, is so important.
Because I always say, if you'vewired that frontal left part of
the brain which we see in theprison brain mapping diagnostic,
you find that actually, if youactivate that part, if you wire
(28:07):
it so highly, you find that whatactually was a good thing,
where you're being veryanalytical, really being paying
attention to detail, can thentrip you into being a
perfectionist.
That then makes you to be, youknow, in action.
Where you then experienceaction paralysis, you then
actually don't take the actions.
(28:28):
So inaction has a cost, whichis, you know, neurological cost,
emotional cost, spiritual cost,and it compounds over time.
And that's why I like thatJames 2.17 that says faith
without works is dead.
So we've just got to push, youknow, really change the
narrative and just start takingthe actions, in spite of the
(28:52):
emotions that we're feeling.
God isn't just waiting on ourworship, he's waiting on our
walk.
We need to take the steps,because it's when you take the
steps your brain then followsthrough.
That subconscious brain willthen follow through and, even if
it's still resisting, keepanswering the questions it
(29:13):
brings up.
You're not good enough?
No, the Bible, god, says that Iam good enough, I am more than
able.
Use scripture to really wire.
Don't just use words lose, kindof very vaguely.
Use them with conviction,understanding the truth behind
those words, because that iswhat would then enable you
(29:36):
create the emotional motivationand release the right
neurochemicals to help you carryout the actions that you need
to carry out.
So my final word is you're notwaiting on God, he's waiting on
you.
You've prayed, you've fasted,you've asked for confirmation,
(29:58):
but what if that silence is Godsaying I've already answered.
Now move.
This isn't punishment, it's aninvitation.
The door is open, theconfirmation is complete and
your moment is now.
You're not behind, you're beinginvited to align.
(30:21):
So take that step, start thatthing, say yes again and just
move.
Take the action you need totake.
Whether it's getting support,whatever it is, do it.
Whether it's starting abusiness, do it, but take the
action.
(30:41):
And before we wrap up, I justwant to take a moment to invite
you to go deeper.
So if today's message has saidsomething in you, or if you're
tired of cycling that samemountain, feeling stuck or
wondering how to break through,you know how to break through.
You know how to break throughthe invisible wall, how to break
through the barriers, whateverthat might be for you.
(31:05):
There are a few ways that Iwould love to support you.
First, if you're a womanlooking for a place to grow, not
just in knowledge, like I saidearlier, but in identity, in
leadership, in faith.
I want to invite you to join usin Mindsight Women's Network.
It's an online community.
(31:25):
I created this forpurpose-driven women.
We combine scripture, wecombine neuroscience and
emotional intelligence in a waythat's practical, powerful and
spirit-filled, and you don'thave to figure this all out
alone.
Come and join us.
There are links in thedescription.
Secondly, don't forget Imentioned the book.
(31:48):
Grab your copy of Rewire yourBrain with Neuroscience and
Scripture Every Day.
This book can be your ownpersonal coach.
Basically, if you don't want tojoin the community, if you
don't want to have one-to-onecoaching, get this book.
This will be your own personalcoach.
Basically, if you don't want tojoin the community, if you
don't want to have one-to-onecoaching, get this book.
This will be your personalcoach.
It's truly, trulytransformational and it's
changing lives.
Every day, people are callingme and telling me how it's
(32:10):
really impacted their lives.
It's amazing.
So get the book.
And then, finally, if you'reready for a more personal
breakthrough maybe you'renavigating leadership, a
decision, or you just feeloverwhelmed please do book a
one-to-one call.
Let's have a chat.
We'll discuss what's keepingyou stuck and map out your next
(32:31):
move with clarity and confidence.
And all the links are in thedescription below.
A lot of times we look at thingsso superficially, but
understanding the science,understanding what's inside, you
know, I always say the brain isthe one organ we don't see, so
we kind of ignore, but it's theone, it's the most important one
that we need to understand sothat you truly understand how to
(32:57):
use it to your benefit and itwill help you to really progress
.
You know faster, you trulyunderstand how to use it to your
benefit and it will help you toreally progress faster.
So if you've got questions oryou want to know more, please
reach out and love to reallysupport you, and I wish everyone
a fantastic, most blessed May.
So go and really thrive.
(33:19):
That thing you've been puttingoff, that thing you've been
resisting, that prayer that Godhas already answered.
Please start taking those stepsthat you need to do.
Ask him the question and justmove forward.
Get all the support you need,but get it from the right people
.
Thank you for tuning in to Leadto Excel podcast with me,
maureen Chiana.
I hope today's episode inspiredand equipped you to renew your
(33:44):
mind and lead with purpose.
If it did, please you rememberto subscribe, share with someone
who needs it and leave a review.
It really helps more peoplediscover this message.
Remember you are created tosoar higher.
Think boldly and liveintentionally.
Until next time, stay focused,stay faith-filled and keep
(34:09):
becoming all God designed you tobe.
See you in the next episode.
Bye for now.
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